#ask me how ed bullied superman. PLEASE

[kattythingz]

YJ x FMA Pt. 6

Where the fuck did this semblance of plot come from

(Don't take that promise too seriously. I'm literally just winging this au for fun to keep Solaris from frying my brain. Feel free to prompt me or give me ideas tho!! I live for shenanigans and episode rewrites.)

🧡 Pt. 1 💛 Pt. 2 🤍 Pt. 3 🩵 Pt. 4 💙 Pt. 5 🧡

Generally, there were better ways to be woken up than choking on his own heart lodged in his throat. 

Ling had gone to bed a king the other night. Immediately, upon being led to Ling’s room—their room now, by the League’s blessing—Ed had struck him with a familiar barrage of a thousand and one questions about anything and everything he laid brilliant eyes on, poking fingers across every surface, judging every blank space on the wall lacking Ling’s presence; listening, deeply, when Ling had stopped him out of the blue with arms around his waist and words murmured into his neck. 

The following hour had been a blur as Ed was suddenly in borrowed clothes from him and lying across his chest. And Ling hadn’t slept so well in weeks. 

But he’d never known terror like the following morning either.

When his arms were empty—the mattress colder than his blood in a single instant.

He might’ve looked mad sprinting into the kitchen as he had. He might’ve looked the greatest fool to walk the Earth, standing there paralyzed by a single glimpse of sunlight. He might’ve—

Needed a minute.

“Well, shit. If it isn’t the actual emperor of Xing this time.”

Ling’s breathing hadn’t quite steadied yet when he padded his way back to the kitchen, catching in his chest all over again at the teasing grin Ed—Ed, Ed, Ed, real, not a dream—shot him from his helm at the stove.

“Took you long enough, your stupendous majesty,” Ed snickered.

Ling crawled on his heart toward Ed’s side. The grin stole its way onto his face as he said, “You realize that isn’t the diss you want it to be, right? Stupendous means—”

“Who cares what it means? Sounds like stupid, so it’s stupid.”

“That’s not how it works at all,” Ling laughed, and couldn’t help draping himself over Ed’s available side, that had been left suspiciously open for him anyway. True enough, Ed shifted at the clinginess but didn’t brush him off. “The word is even grander in Xingese, you know. You’d be giving me quite the compliment if you ever said that to me in that language.”

“Exactly why I said it in this one. Whatever it is.” Ed dumped an omelet from the pan and onto a plate, and Ling snagged it immediately. Ed rolled his eyes but didn’t stop him. “I don’t suppose you’ve wondered what language this is or how we’re speaking it, lazyass that you are?”

“Can’t say I have.” Ling beamed, lifting his arm from Ed’s middle to bend it on his shoulder instead and eat from the angle. “Well?”

The word came out muffled by food, and Ed pulled a face at him. “Well, you’re disgusting. Sit the fuck down or get your face away from me.”

“Why, Edward—!”

A loud clearing of a throat interrupted Ling, and he turned his head to catch Kaldur as the source, M’gann focusing politely on her food next to him as well.

Ah, right. The children.

“I believe I might be able to answer your question, Ed,” Kaldur said, the image of courtesy. “The language we’re all speaking is English. And Ling did, in fact, express a similar question upon his first arrival.”

“Don’t tell him so soon, Kaldur!” Ling whined, but he was pleased as ever to see the juvenility from Kaldur. “That’s not part of the game.”

“It’s a game now?” Ed snorted. “Sit down, dumbass, seriously.”

Ling had half a mind to put aside his food and say no to that. But now that his insides had found relative stability in Ed’s orbit, his stomach was yawning, so he pressed a quick kiss to Ed’s temple while he was distracted before joining his friends at the island.

Ed squawked at the motion, wiping the spot with an insulting disgust—“What the hell, Ling?!”—and Ling laughed.

“Perhaps you’ve gotten rusty, Ed. You should’ve seen that coming.”

Ed grumbled. “Yeah, yeah, shut up. I’m thinking.”

Ling had noticed that, yes. That was why he’d softened Ed’s intense expression with a kiss first. Though, by the returning pinch of those features, it seemed the effort had been moot.

Ling sobered in his seat. “What are you thinking?”

Ed’s gaze flicked to him, and then Kaldur and M’gann, who followed Ling’s cue and sat up as well. He bit his lip, torn.

“I’m thinking…” he started, with meaningful weight, “the Truth might have something to do with this.”

Ling immediately tensed. “Why do you say?”

Kaldur and M’gann couldn’t possibly begin to understand the sheer danger of that implication, and Ling was sorry to exclude them like this. But Ed’s fingers had gone taut around his arms, anxious beyond his skin, and Ling couldn’t stand that sight either.

“Ed,” Ling repeated, and Ed thankfully looked up. “Why do you say that?”

Ed blew out a breath. Bracing himself before saying, “The runes of that circle. I told you it took me and Teacher a week to figure out together, and that’s because neither of us recognized half the runes on it. The closest match I found for their origin was old. Really old.” He looked at Ling. “Several centuries’ ago Xing, to be exact.”

Ling frowned. “That’s not possible. Xing doesn’t have—”

“I know,” Ed interrupted with a frustrated noise. “That’s why I took so long too. I thought the scroll was bullshitting me, but it wasn’t. The runes on it were a perfect match for the ones on the circle. And that sort of knowledge was just lying around your palace.”

“So you’re saying…”

“This was an inside job.” Ed grimaced. “Guess a few cockroaches slipped you, after all.”

Something coiled in the base of Ling’s ribcage, and he clenched his jaw hard. Ed’s expression thawed with remorse in the corner of his eye.

“Mei and I tried figuring it out ourselves,” Ed said wearily in lieu of an apology, which was good, because Ling wasn’t taking one. This wasn’t Ed’s fault. This, apparently, was his own. “We narrowed it down to the best list we could, but—”

“Ed.”

Ed’s mouth snapped shut, and he cast a wide-eyed look at Ling. Still so prone to carrying Ling’s weight, even when Ling bore his own weight of a crown. 

His smile rose bitterly, but rose nonetheless, for Ed.

“It’s alright,” he said. “That shouldn’t have been you and Mei’s job to begin with, and you couldn’t have tackled it in a short week alone, much less the entire month I was gone. You did your best.”

Ed pushed off the counter, staggering with a burden now. “That’s the thing, though. Our best might not be enough anymore here. Ling, one of those runes translated directly to ‘reality’. Truth in another name. If we’re here at all in any manner thanks to that thing, then who knows what the toll—?”

“We’ll figure it out.”

Ed stopped at the firm assertion. “You don’t know that. I don’t know that yet.” He shook his head, jostling bangs out of place and forcing him to retuck them with an uneasy exhale. “I… I don’t regret chasing you here. Truth knows someone had to get you home, and I’ll be damned if that’s not me. I’m happy to see you again too. But… this is another world, Ling. I don’t know anything here; I don’t even know the symbols on the other circle I came out of. I never got a good look at it thanks to that fucking scientist, and I barely figured out the one back in the palace too—”

“You made it here, didn’t you?” Ling interrupted him, and Ed swallowed a pin. “That means you’ve already figured out half of it.”

“Yeah, but—”

“If I may.” Kaldur’s voice beat Ling to it, and he turned easily to him. Unlike Ed, who whirled like their audience had burned him. 

Kaldur bore the shock well, back straight and expression set. 

“I may not understand the true depth of your positions, but I do understand that, as of now—and however long is within our power—your position is with us. Among friends, and comrades.” He quirked his lips in that empathic lilt of his, sharing the kindness with not only Ed, but M’gann and Ling as well. “Perhaps that will not get you home easier, but worse odds have failed to stop this team. This will not be different.”

He held them all with such obvious confidence, and Ling had never seen a better leader in the making. He thought Ed saw it too, when his eyes flashed as he considered Kaldur and softened at the barest edges.

Ed let out a breath, shaking his head a little. 

“You really shouldn’t talk back to me like that.” He gave a half-hearted chuckle. “Those are some ballsy words to promise.”

Kaldur smiled. “I will take that as a compliment.”

That got another laugh out of Ed, truer that time, and he restored enough hope to finally get to making his own omelet—because of course he’d kept himself for last, and, of course, that was when Ling remembered his own pressing question, finally.

“Speaking of ballsy,” Ling said, eager to lift the atmosphere again. “Ed, how’d the interrogation go yesterday?”

He’d spoken between a mouthful again, and Ed didn’t miss a beat in shooting him an unimpressed look. He understood the words suspiciously well for someone who judged Ling for his eating-and-speaking habits, though.

“The interrogation went fine, you damn glutton,” Ed huffed, certainly for Kaldur and M’gann’s confused sakes, folding the omelet in a blind motion. “Dragged on for way too long and nearly bored me to sleep, but fine. Although, I have some serious questions about whoever’s in charge of designing the clothes around here.”

It took the resident heroes a second to catch on. But when they did, it was M’gann who reacted first, snorting high in her nose. She blushed at the noise, slapping a hand over her mouth in mortification—but Ling had heard it before from Ed. And his heart had only been trained to melt for the sound.

“I am—so sorry,” M’gann said when Ed smiled at her too. “I—I was trying to say that, well, that’s kind of funny, since most heroes design their own costumes…” She looked red-faced down at her lap. “Sorry. Continue.”

“What did I say about apologizing?” Ed said, and shook his head. “Anyway, that explains why they’re letting a guy run around in a bat suit—”

Kaldur choked politely on his juice.

“—as if it’s intimidating. I couldn’t even take him seriously, I swear.”

“No, Batman’s—pretty scary, alright,” M’gann squeaked out, either thinking the same thing as Kaldur or trying not to. Either way, Ling barely masked his laughter at them. “But I guess I can see why you wouldn’t get it. You stood up to him pretty easily yesterday…”

“Oh, that was nothing,” Ed said. He served his own food at last, bringing over his plate to their corner before continuing, “You should meet my alchemy teacher, if you think a guy like that’s scary. Once you’ve pissed off the devil into tossing butcher knives at you blindfolded…” He shivered. “You never look back.”

“I’ll say,” Ling mumbled, failing to contain his own reaction. “How certain are you again that she won’t kill me after walking you down the aisle, Ed?”

Ed actually had to pause to consider that. He opened his mouth, before closing it.

“Probably—seventy-thirty?” he guessed far too calmly for Ling’s liking. “Teacher has manners too. She’d probably wait until after the ceremony to do anything. I dunno your chances then.”

Ling hated that very, very much.

“Great.” He sank into his seat. So his future wasn’t very long, even if they escaped this world safely. 

He was already lamenting his stolen youth when a new chi entered the periphery of his senses. It wasn’t anyone worth pretending around like the Justice League, so he kept his posture and listened to the other three laugh at him instead.

“Why do you think I bullied that league or whatever into letting us share your room?” Ed said, still laughing, he was so cruel. “I know your future is short.”

“Did you really?” M’gann said, surprised. “Bully the Justice League, I mean?”

By her asking it that way, it didn’t seem like she thought it was too crazy for Ed to do such a thing. Which was an apt conclusion to draw. Even Kaldur only furrowed his brow in curiosity.

Ed snickered, then. “Oh, yeah. Totally. The red-and-blue guy at least—”

“Superman?” Kaldur offered.

“That’s the stupid name!” Ed snapped his fingers. “Yeah, him.”

Ling shifted at the chi abruptly freezing. Ed continued, none-the-wiser, “He seriously pissed me off in the first place, so I didn’t mind making him a little uncomfortable too. Bastard should’ve thought twice before trying me. Maybe he will now.”

“Bastard?” Ling repeated idly—and he already had a feeling where that conversation had gone. But, still, for audiences out of the loop… 

He sat up to lean on his elbow, catching Ed’s eye with the motion. “I don’t suppose there’s a story behind that?”

Ed narrowed his eyes. Suspecting immediately, for sure, but not knowing enough to dismiss him yet. When Ling only smiled back invitingly, he rolled his eyes with a put-upon sigh and tossed Ling the bone. He said, “Not much of a story, so much as an uncomfortable rehash. I thought the guy’s name was familiar, so I asked him if he had any relation to a Superboy too—”

“Oh!” M’gann gasped, sympathy striking her features. “We completely forgot to warn you about that. Superman is—”

“Superboy’s dad, yeah, I got that pretty quickly.” M’gann furrowed her brow when Ed scowled suddenly. “He seemed pretty eager to deny any connection to his own son. I hope Superboy’s had a chance to punch his asshole dad yet. If he hasn’t, he should get one.”

Leave it to Ed to put it so perfectly.

Ling hummed, casting a quick glance to the space past the kitchen and the chi that lingered in it.

Superboy had definitely heard that. 

Good.

Ling pulled his face back to a grin, and judging by the look Ed shot him as soon as his gaze returned, they were having words later.

“That sounds awful, dear!” Ling said cheerily, and Ed’s scowl deepened with further suspicion. “I can’t imagine how you responded to that.”

“You know exactly how I responded, asshole!”

“I’m almost certain I don’t, actually.”

Ed’s eyebrows twitched.

“I fucking hate you.”

Kaldur and M’gann shared extremely confused looks when Ling beamed in response.

“Now, that I know!”

<- previous ◆ next ->

[leewritesstuff]

Keeping Up With The Hollands | 02

Summary: You and Tom were offered to document your life since you are both famous in the entertainment industry. Now as you got older you left the entertainment industry and head for the medical field. How difficult can it be? Also, did I mention that you have kids?

Previous | CHAPTER 02 | Next

Series Masterlist

VIDEO: The Return of Superman (Triplets Special)

WORDS: 3.0K

WARNING: [ narrator thoughts/edit ] , {scene switch/confession}

Was supposed to be uploaded yesterday but because Tumblr was being an ass, it deleted 2K OF THE FUCKING WORDS. Had to start over.

[ 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 + 1 (adult)]

Tom got off the bed and sat in the middle, watching his four boys sleep. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he leans down and gave each of the boys a kiss.

"They're angels when they're asleep, but once they get up its chaos.."

He heads straight to the kitchen to prepare their breakfast, wasting no time. He stood in front of the fridge trying to figure out what they could eat. He decided on simple eggs and sausage.

{switch}

In the other room, whines could be heard, Tom heard the noise and enters the room quietly, trying not to wake the others

"Pa, Pa!"

He picked up the boy, give his cheeks a kiss and head to the kitchen.

"Where is Maxton?" Tom asked making the child smile.

"Here"

{switch}

Maxton Rolland Holland: 27 months old

Youngest of the four

The shyiest but artistic one out of the group. Can always be found painting or drawing.

"Here, here I am. Pa"

Max notices the camera in the house, watching them with a curious gaze. He poked his father's back, trying to gain his attention.

"What's that?" He questions, Tom looks around and smiled at what he was pointing at. "Not sure bub, what do you think it is?"

"Dinosaur~"

Tom laughed at that, he put the boy down and watched as he runs to the camera, he watched as Max licked the camera, "Oi, don't lick that. It's not to eat"

Nodding towards his father, he went to poke it instead. Maxton was amazed by the camera.

[ There are so many dinosaurs...]

Max went to the other end of the room and played with the other set of 'dinosaurs'. When the camera moved, Maxton froze, wondering if he was seeing things. He was surprised. He carefully studies the 'dinosaur' He moved around and watched as the camera moves with him.

Feeling a bit scared, he goes to the joint kitchen, to stay with his father. He goes to his high chair and climbs on it. He watched as Tom prepares the food.

"You hungry?"

"Yes"

As Tom scrambles the egg, Max started singing, "Food, food, food, food~"

{switch}

Hearing Maxton's loud singing, Chase got up from his sleep. He sat on the bed, watching the room.

Chase Spencer Holland: 27 Months old

Eldest of the four

The most bold and athletic one out of the four.

Tom came into the room and picked him up, giving him a good morning kiss on his cheeks. "Chase is up"

He carried the boy to the living room watching as Maxton run past him. Chase grabbed the vacuum cleaner from the living room and handed it to his father, he jumped when Tom put it on.

"Let's catch Chase," Tom said as he ran around trying to catch the boy with the vacuum. The loud screams woke up Edward who was now standing by the fence. Realizing that no one is paying attention to him, he shakes up the fence making even more noise.

"Papa! Papa! Papa, open!" Tom quickly goes to the fence and open it, releasing the boy.

Edward Hunter Holland: 27 Months Old

The second child of the four.

The strongest and musical one.

He watched as Edward runs to the camera. Being the mischievous boy he is, he knocked on the camera lens.

"Hey, hey! No. Don't do that" He cheekily smiled at Tom then ran away.

{switch/confession}

"I'm really not sure how Y/N did it...it's only 7:30 and I'm tired"

{switch}

Hearing Tom's yell woke up the last sleeping child. Jacob walked quietly to the fence and stood there watching everyone playing.

Jacob Jaxton Holland: 27 months old

The third child of the four.

The outgoing one, always ready to talk to people.

He watched as his father ignores him and goes into the kitchen.

[ Someone notice me please... ]

Chase, while he was walking he notices his other brother behind the fence. He runs into the kitchen and grabs Tom's attention. He grabbed his hands and carried him to the fence.

"Ah, sorry. I told you to let me know if you're up okay?"

Tom grabbed his four children and carried them to the kitchen so that they could have their breakfast.

After eating, Tom tried brushing the boy's teeth, keyword tried. Maxton and Jake didn't like brushing their teeth. Tom had to lock Maxton between his legs, trapping the boy in order to brush his teeth.

When the boys were dressed, Tom heads into the kitchen to clean up the mess they had made. his room to change into his outwear. While he was doing that, Chase, Ed, Jake, and Max was in the other room playing with their toys. Chase and Jake were in the corner playing with the building blocks while Maxton was in the folding mat laying down. Edward, being the mischievous one, took the end of the mat and flipped it over, turning Maxton over. He then stands on top of the mat, crushing his brother.

Hearing Maxton cry, Tom enters the room and frowns at the scene. He grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him off of the mat, then with his free hand, he went to pick up the crying child.

"Ed, Ed. Stop picking on your little brother. Go hug him, now" Seeing that the boy didn't want to listen, he pushed the two boys together, trying to make them hug. That made Ed cry, not wanting to cooperate, Tom took him into the other room, excluding him from the playroom and put him in the corner.

"Listen. you can not be bullying your little brother. That's not what brothers do. You wouldn't like someone doing that to you right?"

"N-No..."

"Good, now I want you to go inside and say you're sorry" Nodding his head, Ed grabbed Tom's hand and they both head back to the playroom. Tom watched as Ed runs up to his brother and hugs him. Maxton being the soft one out of the four, returned the hug and kissed his brother.

Before closing the gate, Tom turned towards his sons and said. "Don't fight okay?"

Jake slide halfway on the slide while Chase pushed the toy slide, showing off how 'strong' he is. Maxton goes to the corner to play with the stuffed bears they had. Ed was in the corner, playing with the building blocks.

Chase climbs up on the steps of the slide and plays with the buttons on the walls. Jake noticing came and asked him what he was doing but he was ignored. His eyes widen when he saw that Chase was playing with the remote.

"Put it back" Ignoring his brother, Chase kept on playing with the remote. Having enough, Jake climbs the steps and grabs the remote from his brother. Not liking that, Chase grabbed it back which started an argument between the two. Ed watches the two play with the remote.

"You'll get hurt, put it back!" But Chase ignored his brother's second warning. Maxton came over, holding one of the stuffed toys in his hand, climbs the steps, and stood with his other two brothers.

"Bad boy. No no"

Feeling anxious at how quiet the room is, Tom went to check on them. When he saw what they were doing he yelled

"Hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?" The three boys froze, not expecting their dad to come in. "You naughty boys!" Tom pushed back the slide to the corner of the room.

After putting on the other three hat's Tom was feeling frustrated with his second oldest. Ed thought his father was playing with him, so every time Tom would try to put the hat on his head, the boy would move, giggling. Having enough, Tom put the boy flat on the ground and strap him down, locking him, he raised the boy's head and slipped the hat on. Feeling satisfied, he got up, grabbed all of their hands, and headed out the door. They followed their father like little ducklings outside towards their vehicle.

Tom walks out of the house rolling the car train with, Chase, Ed, Jake, and Max on it. He sat on the bike and peddle his way.

"Wow, this is a good workout!" He exclaimed peddling around the neighborhood, he talked about the colours of the grass and the different types of cars.

Tom put all four of his kids in the toy train seats, in order of Chase, Ed, Jake then Max, then he put himself on the bike and peddles away.

As he peddles, he was showing them the different types of objects around the area. Everyone was mostly hearing the yells of Jake and Edward.

{confessions}

"Since I'm an actor and I would need to be um fit for the roles, I'd need to go to the gym, but I have four kids, and it would be difficult trying to take them to the gym, plus it isn't safe, so I had to find another method. This seems to be easier."

{switch}

Tom peddles quickly, feeling the breeze dry his sweaty forehead. He peddles by a bridge that's connected to the park, he slowly rolled up on the bridge then went down quickly, hearing the joyful screams coming from the back.

"Again! Again!" He turned and looked at Ed who had his hands in the air, smiling at the boy he turns around and peddles back on the bridge but this time feeling the pain, panting loudly. His action was gaining people's attention.

Soon they made it inside the park where the bathing fountain was located. He takes out three of the boys and removed their helmets, then handing them a ball to play with. A few fans walked up to him and asked if they could get an autograph.

Chase quickly takes the ball out of his brother, Jack's hand, and runs to the fountain, loving the feeling of the water on his back. Runs Ed and Jack following after.

When he takes out Maxton, he realizes that the boy's diapers were full, "Oh my god, seriously?" He holds the boy and grabbed the diaper bag and heads to the male's washroom.

While he was changing Maxton, Jake ended up wandering off on his own. Chase somehow removed his clothes and was bathing naked, Ed, who didn't want to get wet, came over, trying to sheld his brother's nudity from people.

While Jake was wondering, he ended up talking to a few people, making him laugh at how cheerful and energetic he was, but because of his socializing, he got himself lost.

"Pa?" He questions, he walks to a tent filled with people to see if he was there but got sad when he wasn't, he counties looking around for him.

Tom came out with his youngest son, he looked around as to where his other sons were. He found Chase and Ed together, he quickly grabbed the boy, trying to cover him. When he realized that one of his children was missing he started yelling. "Jake!"

The said boy heard his name and came running towards his father, he fell but got back up and kept running. Seeing his son running, Tom, (also holding Chase) ran to the child, he grabbed him and carry the two back to where they originally were.

He put Jake down who went by Max and started playing, he put Chase on his lap, trying to put on the boy's pants for him. "Keep your clothes on" Nodding his head, he gave his father a cheeky smile.

He put the boy down and took off his socks and shoes he went by Ed who was standing on the side, grabbed the boy and carried him to the fountain, realizing that his son was scared of the fountain, he tried his best to make him feel safe.

He goes and picks up, Chase, the trio were playing until Max came, wanting to be picked up as well, Tom feeling unsure, although he struggled, he picked up the three boys. Then Jake came to him, "You want a lift?"

Nodding his head, he made grabby hands at his dad. Feeling Chase move to his back, Tom picked up Jake amazing everyone around him, started taking pictures of the family.

After a while, it was time to change. Tom took off Maxton's shirt while he was doing that, he noticed that Jake wasn't there. "Jake! Jake!"

The camera switches to the boy, holding a ball running to the girl's washroom. He watched the girl's smiling at them, he smiled back. While changing Max, Chase decided to follow his little brother. They both entertain into the girl's washroom, smiling and talking to them.

Max was changed, then Tom quickly went and change Ed, after changing him, he straps the two on the train then heads off to find his other sons.

"Chase! Jake! God these two will get me old quick. Chase! Jake!"

When the two saw their dad running towards them, they went back into the girls' washroom but were stopped by one of the mothers. Tom thanked them and walked away with his sons, trying to change them as quickly as he can.

After having lunch in a restaurant Tom took his ducklings home and changed them for the evening. Night came and it was almost their bedtime. In the playroom, Tom took out a toy goal post

"Okay so this is a goal post, you kick the ball in it" Ed took the ball and push it in the goal post, screaming happily.

Tom chuckled at the boy's silliness, "No Ed, that's not how you do it bub"

[Tom tries to show them how to play football, for the first time]

He took the ball and ut his foot on it. "You don't use your hands, you use your feet, now look at daddy" Tom starts to dribble the ball "I'm dribbling the ball. Gosh, it's been a while." But he notices his sons weren't paying attention, instead, they were more paying with the goal post and spare ball. When he did try to get their attention, he tried to shoot in the goal post.

He failed.

The only one who really understood the game was Chase since he kicked the ball and it went in the goal post. He patted the boy on his head, then he watched as Max and Ed push the ball in the goal post.

Feeling tired, Tom laid on the ground trying to take a small rest, but that was soon ended when Ed throws himself on his dad's stomach. He covered his head when Jake went to sit on his face. "You guys are hurting daddy, he needs his face"

Feeling a bit annoyed, Jake and Ed went to the camera dinosaur.

[If you won't play with us the dinosaur will]

Max laid his body on Tom's chest, slowly falling asleep to the breathing of his heart. He got up slowly and put Max into his bed, he picked the other three boys from the ground and carried them to their room.

Tom goes to call his wife girlfriend on the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi love"

"How was it? Taking care of them I mean?"

"Ah it was decent, good actually"

"Tom..."

"Alright, so it was a bit difficult but we had a good day today, we went bike riding."

"Okay, is that all?"

"No, you know the park with the fountain? Chase seemed to love it too much. We gotta get that boy to keep his clothes on" You laughed at that, already imgaining Chase running around in public naked.

"Ed didn't like it at all, kept screaming. Jake made a few friends today. Maxton mostly made mud pies for me."

"Really? I expected Ed to be the one to love it, huh."

"I know. I was really shocked."

"Did you put the waterproof diapers on them?" Tom's eyes widen at that.

"What?"

"I bought waterproof diapers to use in the pool."

"That's a thing?!"

"Yes Tom, I told you this before. If you wanted to take them to the pool you could use-don't tell me you use regular diapers?!"

When you didn't hear anything you laughed at him, not surprised that Tom would do this.

"Okay well, next time use them. Hey, I have work for 7. I love you alright?"

"Love you too, sleep well, bye" He hangs up the phone and stared at the picture on his phone screen.

{confession}

"I'm honestly amazed at my wife. When we found out that she was having quadruplets, the doctor strongly suggested that it would be good for both my wife and the babies...if we let two of them go. It was hard. They said it would pressure her heart if she didn't. I couldn't tell her no but.. I didn't want to lose any of them. She said she was going full out, that she wasn't going to give up, so one day I came home, I think we had a month or so left and she was standing there crying. Full-on tears. So I asked her what's wrong and she goes 'It hurts to walk' So..."

Tom had tears in his eyes, he wiped them and continued "I had to pick her up. We cried together. In the car. She was in so much pain, her legs and face were swollen...so many unexpected things happen, I kept asking the nurses if she was going to be alright. They were born a few weeks later, they didn't need to go into this incubator. I'm so proud of my girlfriend. I hope later on I could call her Mrs. Holland" He let out a laugh and smiled at the camera.

T A G L I S T

@webmeupspiderdaddy @runawayolives @nerdy-collector-festival @hopelessromm @bi-lmg @speedyhandsbonkpalace

(If you see this then I couldn't tag you)

Want to be added? Then message me!

[incarnateirony]

So now I’m gonna be that butch bitch.

Socially relevant wide topics is not a specific sub blog of anyone that happens to hold an opinion in that topic. I barely even touch my home tab because of how insufferable this fandom dialogue tends to be beyond scrolling through entire vats of whatever the hell is going on and addressing it in general address in a wide host of conversational points. Which literally anyone can see with how few blogs I engage and how rare a burst of gif reblogging even is. Did you tag me directly and land in my notification stream, no, then I probably have no idea what you’re saying. This isn’t hard.

This, on the other hand, is a petty gay sub blog.

Please note there’s a very distinct difference between these and LGBT cinema discussion someone may or may not take offense to.

I’ll give you a hint: my sub blogs are short, pointed, sassy, generally include a random media reference like a video game video or this little piece of art, and are doused in sarcasm. They’re the fandom version of “ok, boomer”. Sure, I do sub blog. We all do. Let’s be real dears. But nah fam. That ain’t it.

Anyone that insists on projecting themselves into a set of shoes left on the floor is free to do so, but they need to recognize that’s what they’re doing with general discussion. No, picking a fight with me on a different social media platform and then pretending any other conversation is targeting you isn’t how it works. I can’t stop anyone from recoiling to the content. And I’ve been EXTREMELY forward on where the door is if they want to continue using regressive angles or taking personal offense to general conversation points. This isn’t new.

Jesus fucking christ.

And for the love of fuck stop treating me like I’m some big name fan. I don’t do conventions, events, actors, I don’t give a shit about shipping culture, I don’t do FB groups, I’m literally not *here* for any of that bullshit. Respectively having a few thousand followers isn’t *shit* on a platform where the big blogs range 8-14,000. I am not. Here. For this clout. Chasing. Bullshit. And I don’t want it anywhere near me. And I didn’t ask to be any kind of leader, or want to be any kind of leader, and magically, this BNF leader that I am had a grand total of 0 fucking people coming at anybody. Just a few telling them to stop escalating their own internalized issues against someone else. If you think that’s unreasonable, I don’t know what to fucking tell you.

If you’re here for fandom drama or personal validation, please, leave me the *fuck* alone. I am not here to be the mother to 2000 grown assed people. Thankfully many of you are reasonable, but for whatever 1% is out there getting *mad* that I’m not conforming, I swear to god, leave me the FUCK ALONE.

I have never been a proper agent of fandom. I have never obligated myself to washes of fandom yelling regardless of if it’s “my lane” or “my friend.” And no, I’m not due to “self reflect” just because *somebody else chose to think I was talking about them.* That’s not how that WORKS. I can’t self-reflect to magically engineer intentions or thoughts somebody else put in their head and projected my way, holy shit balls man.

You wanna know why people talk bullshit about Destiel fandom? This narcissistic manipulative bullshit, this false extremization of talking points, all of it. And no, not every Destiel fan does that before someone warps that. But there’s a reason so many people are hiding from this shit in tag commentary, and it’s THIS. You can deadass say “While I agree we should aspire for better representation we should also make sure to not trample on the work of what people ARE fighting for right now” and SOME FUCKER, SOME WHERE, will turn that into “You’re telling us to settle and stop fighting! You’re a homophobe!” even though it says the opposite JUST ABOVE WHATEVER THEY’RE EXAGGERATING, and yet SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, will be like “You know what, this resonates with my current feelings, now I’m going to make it dictate this real person’s reality even though that is clearly NOT WHAT THEY’RE FUCKING SAYING.”

I have. ALWAYS. Said. I am not here. For fandom bullshit. This 0 to 100, all or nothing, black or white, Fall In With The Hoard Or Perish By Us Lying And Footstomping And Demanding People Unfollow The Person Who Won’t Fite Me Nao *bullshit.* No, taking a strong stance or having a strong opinion contrary to the Borg is not hArAsSmEnt. What’s fucking harassment is intentionally stalking down people’s materials to pick fights across multiple SM platforms and trying to make it all about YOU while they’re minding their bullshit on their own walls. CHECK YOURSELVES. What’s ~~bullying~~ is trying to incite hive mind attacks. What’s abuse is demanding anyone else tolerate it, much less warping “them or me” choices just because someone *disagrees* with you. 

Nobody sent anybody at the person in question. In fact, they sent themselves, and continued to double down that it had to all be about them, then directed friends to engage and continue it afterwards. The only person that outted them was them, and they fucking @’ed me, so I don’t know what the *fuck* you expected from me. Even if I WAS sub blogging them -- which 1000% not -- not a soul on the fucking planet would have known them until they threw themselves out into the field because IT WAS ADDRESSING MULTIPLE FANDOM TOPICS; and even when they threw themselves out, nobody actually came at them. They just told them to stop. ... And then after that when their friends were told I won’t judge them? ESCALATION! YOU MUST COME ATTACK ME! uh, no. That’s not how this works. Maybe that’s how you’re all used to this working, but that’s not how this works. I can very well say “Kay, whatever you wanna do with yourself” and leave it there.

I don’t ask anybody to come to my wall. I don’t ask you to come pick fights with me. I don’t ask you to troll across multiple media platforms looking for an opening just to get mad when I’m already too exhausted to deal with you. 

I can tell you the one thing you probably shouldn’t do though, and that’s follow a fandom commentary opinion blog and head nod and bobble to it and go “YEAH, YEAH!!” until your own general behavior crops up into the discussion and then turn into a bunch of rabid bobcats and start saying you had a problem with that blog the whOEL tiEM. So, what, you... agreed when it suited you while having a problem with my methods? They’re only a problem if they apply to someone you prefer? 

Get out. I literally do not have the time and energy for this bullshit. I am literally in the middle of my second legal battle in a year while dealing with crippling pain, I can BARELY make my own content BEYOND this conversation, I haven’t even been able to edit for like two weeks,  my game and my projects are all indefinitely paused, I fucking PROMISE YOU that randomopinion dot tumblr dot com is not the highlight of what I’m just out here to inspire shit for, holy shit. Like sure fam, I can barely walk into dollar general to buy a pizza for dinner right now, my house is in limbo, I’m trying to work side jobs while my hip is literally falling apart and my spine is disconnecting from my ribs intermitantly, I might puncture a lung with the effort of sitting down, but you know what I want to do? Stick it to some random FUCKER on tumblr (who can’t keep themselves off of my content while pretending I’m coming at them.) 

If you’d like, with the magic Clap On Clap Off Gay TV invention, if we can also come up with “disability trade” for a feature to live one day in the life of someone, I would gladly invite you to deal with the pain of your anatomy trying to casually rearrange itself. I mean, if we’re all about shoving ourselves into random shoes, go ahead and try mine on. See if you have the patience for this kind of fandom bullshit, let alone to methodically do whatever the fuck a segment of fandom decided I did as some sort of machiavellian plan to sub blog someone I didn’t know fucking existed beyond some other random name account trolling into the middle of an existing conversation on a whole other social media platform.

Is it absolute bullshit to kick into the middle of a conversation, not catch up on the conversation, assume the worst of a conversation because you heard something applicable to you, and to start yelling at people having a conversation that had NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU? Yes, yes it fucking is. No, I don’t care you think I’m holding some grudge from when you farted wrong in the room earlier today, your self consciousness on that front is yours, not mine, fart the fuck away.

Is it even more bullshit to say you aren’t obligated to catch up to the conversation you entered with this angle to and pretend it’s everybody else’s fault? Sure the fuck is. Is it bullshit to @ someone and make literally famously socially abusive demands and then pretend anyone came at *you* after you superman jumped one, two, and five assumptions that it was ABOUT YOU? To just double down because someone’s your *friend* even when the barest application of logic would show they walked in yelling at someone unrelated to them before they set up their drama with a whole ass bass boosting entertainment boom box for everybody? Why yes, yes that is a huge pile of bull shit. I’m not sure why this is a hard thing to grok.

So sure, now I’m sub blogging you. Because somewhere, in the midst of me blogging on every platform about people’s application of bad faith arguments, you decided to bad faithedly attach some sort of fucking motivation to my posts that made it all about *you*. The irony is fucking mind blowing.

I’m so. Done. With this shit.