#ask to tag ig ?¿

[toffeebrew]

more fem Color but it's just me projecting because it is so hot right now send help I am MELTING

[sualne]

viola

[draculora]

i don’t wanna talk too much about the kendrick vs. drake beef on here bc i’m not black and i don’t have anything to say about it that black rap listeners haven’t already said with way more context but i will say this as a victim of SA after listening to the heart pt. 6 which was just really cheap and gross

kendrick is using his influence to bring MASSIVE AMOUNTS of attention to something that women have been saying about drake for a LONG time but drake never had to address bc it didn’t come from anybody who “mattered” (in drake’s eyes) and also it wasn’t said to him DIRECTLY in a format in which he was expected to respond, and quickly. he was never going to address it!

and i think kendrick doing this falls directly in line with the type of topics he’s always covered in his albums, specifically mr. morale was about breaking the cycle of generational trauma (physical and sexual abuse specifically) and ALSO kendrick has ALWAYS called HIMSELF out in his music for the way he has contributed to these cycles and reflected on WHY and how to change moving forward

i think people are wanting kendrick to be free of any controversy in order to go after drake and my thing is if we keep waiting for the Perfect Person who has Done No Wrong to take drake down, it is never going to happen! it doesn’t surprise me at all that it took another MAN bringing it up for drake to deign to say anything at all, even if the route he took was deny, deny, deny. a black tiktok creator who has been posting about all of this (angelfromthebloc) said “we don’t need the perfect shooter. the shots were fired and what matters is what the bullets said” and that makes a lot of sense to me

[dieselpvnk]

i love my fucked up worm

[airyhfjones]

lots of MD ... mostly nuzi and .. vuzi ... ig... SNF . anyways .

NO KIN TAGS FOR ANYONE HERE PLEASE !!!! (Uzi is @ahavrn <3 !

[unhinged-snake-jaw]

happy pride month! ft. jason grace x percy jackson

just don't think too hard about the anatomy. <3

[lightningfilledsaber]

"I just want to live out my life with all of you at my side. In order to do that, is it so wrong for me to wish to keep death at bay?"

The idea for this started because I, of course, wanted to draw the lesbians of all time since the anime only watchers finally got their first taste of yuri, while I was also thinking about this panel:

It's really such a shame Falin didn't get to see it </3

also the quote in the caption is from this panel:

[simcardiac-arrested]

don’t you want to?

[cookinguptales]

frank discussion of gynecological issues and frustrations with OBGYNs (especially re: chronic illness) under the cut, but I guess also potentially useful information for people who want to hear about it

so... some of you might remember when I was going to OGBYNs a little while ago. I have endometriosis and PMDD diagnoses, so going to OBGYNs isn't exactly unusual for me, but I ended up going to see more than I usually do.

this was largely because the hormonal therapy that I was taking for those disorders was starting to fail and I was bleeding a lot. like... for weeks at a time over a period of months. I had to deal with some... frustrating OBGYN advice in this time (such as the rage-inducing "well, women have to bleed") but I also discovered that like... I mean, I think I always knew that I had more vaginal pain than other people I know, but a lot of things hurt me so I just kind of... ignored it?

but they tried to put me on the nuva ring for a little while during this period and my body just... straight-up rejected it. it hurt like a bitch to put in, it kept coming out, I could feel it in there and it hurt, etc.

I ended up comparing notes with some other people I know and realized that my problems with insertion were probably more severe than I'd thought. like, it is not unusual for me to cry during pap smears and have cramping for days afterward. I cannot use tampons without massive pain. your body is not really supposed to physically expel something like a nuva ring several times a day. tmi I guess but I have not found penetration of any kind pleasant.

so I talked to... I want to say four or five different OBGYNs in this period, and none of them gave me a real reason for this. the prevailing attitude was mostly "oh yeah, that happens sometimes. lmao."

the best I could get was a diagnosis of "vaginismus" on my chart, and when I pressed for more information, they basically told me it was a psychological thing where your body is afraid of penetration so it clenches up and won't unclench. they literally grilled me on my history of sexual abuse to see if they could find the source of my dick phobia.

now... not to get too into it, but I do have a history of CSA -- but my pain problems predate it. I got my period relatively early and I've never been able to use tampons or anything like them. every time I've tried has ended in literal tears. again, cramping pain for days, even after the period itself has stopped.

so I get the dick phobia diagnosis from two different doctors, but one of them says she can do a transvaginal ultrasound if I'm really worried. we do this and it is uh. excruciating, honestly. thank god it was in California and they let me get high as a kite.

in the end, they can't find anything "physically" wrong with why I'm in pain and they send me on my way, dick phobia dx in hand.

today. today. YEARS later. I am googling tips on how to try a menstrual cup if you have vaginismus (prep for the trip abroad; I don't like Japanese pads) and I see someone saying "oh, I'm glad that treatment worked for you, my problems are because of ehlers-danlos syndrome."

you know, one of the chronic illnesses I have and one that I divulged to every OBGYN I saw.

what.

paging Dr. Google!!!

I come to find out that folks that have EDS, because of their connective tissue issues and extremely brittle skin, sometimes deal with extreme gynecological pain. it's partially pelvic floor issues, partially the fact that the skin in your vagina is breaking.

so all those times that I said "it feels like it's cutting me" or "it feels like knives" were probably because it was fucking cutting me. all those times I said I felt scraped raw for days was probably because abrasions take a long time to heal when you have EDS.

I cannot believe. I cannot believe. that I went into so many different OBGYNs who told me that my pain issues were because I had a psychological fear of dicks and when I told them I was a lesbian were like "oh well then problem solved" when actually my body was physically tearing. I had even seen blood sometimes and it had always been dismissed as spotting.

the anger I feel rn is indescribable, tbh. I never bought that my problems were all in my head (probably because doctors used that line on me so often when I was a kid and getting other chronic illnesses diagnosed) but the fact that gynecological health science is still so fucking awful that we shrug off pain that is the symptom of dangerous chronic illnesses as "well that happens sometimes" or "have you considered that maybe you're afraid of sex?"

I JUST

this reminds me of when I had to find out from a fucking tumblr post that vaginal secretions are made from blood rather than glands, so if you have bad blood pressure/flow it'll often cause itchiness/dryness/pain. bad blood flow like... idk... maybe POTS.

so again, it was actually one of my known chronic illnesses causing gynecological issues, not any of the other bullshit reasons doctors were giving me, like age or stress.

I hate that I'm fucking 33 years old and I still have to learn stuff like this from google searches. I still don't know how my shitty body works, and it's largely because of stuff like this. what the fuck. I'm so mad. why do doctors still treat vaginas like a fucking scary mystery?

I'm well aware that Dr. Google doesn't always know what the fuck it's talking about, but apparently neither do my doctors! which is why, yet again, I'm up all night reading medical journals in the vain attempt to figure out how to actually live my life!

ugh!!!

[tahthetrickster]

sorry

[creature-of-pizza]

GORETOBER DAY 5: SELF CANNIBALISM

Prompts under cut

Credit to aliensphynx on instagram

[ratphysics]

im not sure how fords metal plate head works but i want bill to try to possess him and run into it looney tunes style

[crazysodomite]

i might make it like this actually. toing

leech mouth and baleen is also interesting

[windmillgirl]

leprous

[matutito]

im obsessed with these two ocs. theyre both gay men but they look like 2 butch lesbians and i think that makes me the best character designer ever

[autism-swagger]

Resident coldgirl