#astronicht

[intricatepuckrituals]

star watch on the cbj vs. fla game is so so juicy. like the former flameos? the johnny of hockey? the rat of tkachuk? the divorced, never-were-together, too many gloves kissed too much time missed narrative???? unfolding in front of our eyes as they very deliberately do not mention or look at each other at all??? so so compelling. look at each other, look at me little flies caught under my cup, i am Observing heheee

[warrioreowynofrohan]

LOTR Newletter - Prologue

Thoughts as I read:

Delighted to learn from @astronicht that the Red Book of Westmarch is in fact a reference to the Red Book of Hergest, a Welsh medieval book that contains among other things the Mabinogion. I’ve been reading and rereading LOTR for over 20 years, and only now learning that there are piles of references that I’ve been missing. Thank you! your observations are always a delight!

I love the way Tolkien fully treats his Middle-earth writings as a reality. That’s been done by a lot of people, of course – in the 1600s and 1700s when novels were rarer it seems like it was viewed as almost required to provide some fictional ‘source’ for your story that you had merely edited. But Tolkien does it more convincingly than many, including writing of Hobbits as still existing and in the present tense (“they avoid us now with dismay and are becoming hard to find” and “Hobbits have never, in fact, studied magic of any kind”). He’s writing a mythology, not just a novel; and a key characteristic of a mythology is, I think, that the people who made it believed it. The words of one reviewer of The Hobbit express this quality wonderfully: “Has the air of inventing nothing. He has studied trolls and dragons at first hand and describes them with fidelity.”

I’m very amused that some of the hobbits’ characteristics are those of Tolkien, such as not liking complicated machinery and “being fond of simple jests at all times” (something he said of himself).

“[Hobbits’] elusiveness is due solely to a professional skill that heredity and practice, and a close friendship with the earth, have rendered inimitable by bigger and clumsier races.” ‘A close friendship with the earth’….what an evocative and intriguing way of putting it!

Tolkien seems to have a thing for dviding his fantasy races into three groups corresponding to hill/mountain-likers (Harfoots, Noldor), water-likers (Stoors, Teleri) and tree-likers (Fallohides, Sindar). The Harfoots are also said to associate more with Dwarves (as do Noldor), the Stoors with Men (and Tolkien’s main groups of Men are also more associated with water, due to Númenor), and the Fallohides with elves.

Hobbits are shorter than I remembered! I was thinking of 3-4 feet as normal, but Tolkien says “between two and four feet”, with the Bulkroarer (an exceptionally tall hobbit) at four foot five. Two feet tall is tiny! Harfoots (most hobbits, and probably including Sam) are on the shorter side; Fallohides (Tooks and Brandybucks are said to have more Fallohidish background, so that includes Frodo, Merry, and Pippin) are on the taller side.

I am amused that the one governmental service that Tolkien does consider essential is the post-office.

[teleportbooks]

Ficbinding: 誰謂河廣、一葦杭之 | who says the river is wide (or, Lan Fangji) by @astronicht

Astronicht's Lan Fangji series is a wangxian Italian Renaissance AU (they are visiting). Also, a vampire AU (“A european vampire,” he says, “my uncle will be so disappointed.”) Please read it if you haven't, I'll wait.

Anyway so a year or so ago I did a mockup title page just for fun in a vaguely historically appropriate style, but at that point I had no intention of actually binding the series because at under 20k words in total, it would make for a pretty thin tome. Enter: @renegadepublishing's tiny book bang! This was an event where participants typeset fic in miniature and passed it off to someone else to bind. On a smaller page size, it worked out well. The typesetting is loosely modeled after Aldus Manutius (did you know you can just look at full scans of really old books on archive.org? it's very cool). He's credited with inventing italic type and with popularizing printing 8 pages on a sheet (octavo) for more conveniently sized books. This book is also an octavo! But on smaller paper. I don't know if shaping the text into a triangle at the end of sections was his thing or if everyone did it back then but I like it, it's very fun. The AU setting is a little before his time but iirc not too far off. I printed the art (by @butleronice, included with permission) in black and white to better match the style.

Here I will pause to recommend KPS Fonts (a collection of historic fonts) and Bookbinder JS (an online tool which can rearrange your pdf into an octavo or pretty much any other imposition you might want).

So, I didn't do the binding for the exchange, but I couldn't help thinking "what if I bind it in a historically appropriate style too?" and then this happened. This style of limp vellum binding covered a wide historical range and I think is reasonably appropriate? Though the specific details of construction are closer to modern conservation techniques, because that's what I could find instructions for. I'm not entirely sure that what I bought from etsy was the right sort of vellum for this project, but the nice stuff is beyond my current purchasing power so this will have to do. For the paper, I bought some big sheets of drawing paper from the craft store (off-white cotton paper, with a laid texture instead of smooth like printer paper) and cut them down to letter size so they would fit in my printer.

[mikkeneko]

Samwise Gamgee and the song at the end of the world

I first read LOTR at a young age, continued to read it when I became an adult, but it's really only with some critical context that I can go back and finally see some parts of the story for the first time. When I was younger, while I loved the books, there were parts I always found baffling. The Tom Bombadil interlude is one. The conversation between Galadriel and Frodo at the Mirror is another. That conversation at time seems kind of baffling, and in the moment leads nowhere -- until Frodo enters Mordor, and starts testing the limits of his mastery of the Ring, which culminates in his confrontation with Gollum. The conversation with Galadriel in Book 1 was a direct set-up for that moment in book 3. And the interlude with Tom Bombadil in Book 1 is a direct set-up for this moment, in book 3, in Cirith Ungol.

You see, Tom Bombadil -- as @astronicht pointed out in their wonderful LOTR liveblog -- is very clearly a scop, a bard from the old anglic tradition that Tolkien was writing from. He uses galdor, spells made of song, to work his will on the world. Tolkien is spelling it out very clearly for us here: yes, this world runs on the same rules as the old traditions. Yes, in this world, spells can be made of song. And two books later in the tower of Cirith Ungol, in his moment of darkest despair, Sam... sings.

"....weary and feeling finally defeated, he sat on a step below the level of the passage-floor and bowed his head into his hands. It was quiet, horribly quiet. The torch, that was already burning low when he arrived, sputtered and went out; and he felt the darkness cover him like a tide. And then softly, to his own surprise, there at the vain end of his long journey and his grief, moved by what thought in his heart he could not tell, Sam began to sing.

In some ways this feels like the turning point of the whole Quest, of the whole book, as much as the moment in the heart of Mount Doom or the Battle of Pelennor fields; this feels like the culmination of Sam's character arc, as much as the choice to go on after Frodo's death or the moment he shakes off the Ring's thrall.

Frodo is a scholar; he's well-read and speaks several languages, he knows more of Middle-Earth than almost any hobbit alive save perhaps Bilbo. (And arguably a kind of seer, though I won't go into that now.) But it's Sam who is heir to Bilbo's love of poetry. It's been Sam, throughout the whole journey, who is the most interested in poetry and song. He wrote the song about the Trolls; he is thrilled by the dwarven song of Khazad-dum; he wrote a new verse on the spot for Gandalf's eulogy; he recites the Oliphaunt. Sam has been enamored of poetry and song as much as he has been enamored of Elves, of the old legends and songs of heroism. Sam, like Tom Bombadil, is a scop, one who can weave spells through song. And now, in the darkest night in the heart of the Enemy's lair, Sam weaves a song.

His voice sounded thin and quavering in the cold dark tower: the voice of a forlorn and weary hobbit that no listening orc could possibly mistake for the clear song of an Elven-lord. He murmured old childish tunes out of the Shire, and snatches of Mr. Bilbo's rhymes that came into his mind like fleeting glimpses of the country of his home. And then suddenly new strength rose in him, and his voice rang out, while words of his own came unbidden to fit the simple tune:"

In this moment Sam reaches out for help, and something reaches back. Someone answers. Another voice joins his, and lifts his quavering song to something high and clear and strong, and Sam finds the strength to rise from his despair. And most of all, the song allows Sam to find Frodo in the dark.

 Though here at journey's end I lie in darkness buried deep, beyond all towers strong and high, beyond all mountains steep, above all shadows rides the Sun and Stars for ever dwell: I will not say the Day is done, nor bid the Stars farewell.

Who answered? Or perhaps the question should be, Who answered? I'm personally inclined to think that it is themselves the great elven heroes of old, the ones who have been through this darkness before and come out the other side through their own song, whom Sam always idolized and did not dare to dream that one day he might be counted among them, who reach back to Sam in that moment. It's already foreshadowed in his ascent through the Tower, where his form is overlaid by that of a greater power, one that makes the Orcs he encounters believe him to be an elf-lord. His tale is their tale, and their power, in this moment, becomes his power.

But one can't forget that this very world was created by a song, by the Lord of song, who exists in a place beyond all towers strong and high, a remote and clear power untainted by darkness. Did Tolkien's letters say that there was only one time, during Lord of the Rings, that this distant power interfered directly in the events of the War of the Rings? This has sometimes been proposed to be interference in Frodo and Gollum's struggle in Mount Doom, which led to Gollum's fall, but I never believed that; the geas accounts for that sequence well enough by itself. Maybe it wasn't in a battle at all. Maybe it was here, in darkness and despair, lending a little bit of his Song to his smallest singer.

[phneltwrites]

ooh ok wait this is fun. thanks @saynomorefic for the tag!

tagging: @sixohsixoheightfourtwo @brofisting @ofgeography @dulosis @dreamyelectronicmusic @6balls @astronicht

[ekebolou]

Announcement: Ekebolou Books

I started a substack.

You can see the first chapter of Kostas here.

Things are rudimentary now, but I plant to polish them up eventually. All of Kostas will go up for free, though I haven't decided whether I should post all at once or do the weekly drip thing. (it would be kind of fun, wouldn't it, to experience it in its original serial format and I could schedule a new drop once a week?) I'll probably put spicy bits behind some kind of nominal paywall eventually, just to hedge my bets regarding the accessibility of adult material.

I'm still figuring out formats and how to connect everything and and etc etc, but this should make it markedly easier to access the stories, see updates, and get everything in some kind of order. It'll be a clearinghouse for all the writing I see fit to share, so you can expect Tenor Group and others of my little universes to go up.

I am very, very torn about using substack, but I have neither the funds nor the time to craft an independent version, so here we are.

Hopefully everything will get more detailed and the substack will offer a lot more material, but I wanted to get it off the ground. Forgive me for tagging you @astronicht but you did recommend putting everything up in one place and I have so tag tag tag. More is coming.

[wangxianficfinder]

Mythical / Supernatural WangXian

~*~

The Beast of Gusu series by Netrixie (T&M, 212k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Wolf WWX, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Happy Ending)

impossible to stay away, impossible to stay by dragongirlG, Sixlayerhouse (sixlayerhouse) (E, 34k, WangXian, Inspired by The Shape of Water (2017), Modern China, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Fairy Tale Elements, Jiaoren LWJ, Mercreature LWJ, Hurt/Comfort, Captivity, LWJ Whump, Chronic Pain, Blood and Injury, Classism, Ableism, Depression, Interspecies Relationship(s), Good Sibling JC, Angst with a Happy Ending, Embedded Images, Footnotes) 

💖 The Way You Tremble by themunchking (E, 6k, wangxian, murder husbands, vampires, blood, violence, supernatural elements) 

you’re a bird in the water / i’m a fish on the ground by plonk (Not Rated, 8k, WangXian, Merpeople, Canon Era) 

one good thing by Yuu_chi (T, 26k, wangian, modern, ghost wwx, fluff & angst, happy ending, alarming number of rabbits, Podfic available)   

medium blues by darkterrible (E, 193k, WangXian, Modern AU, Horror, Spooky, Opposites Attract, Fluff and Angst, Gore, Ghosts, Necromancy, Mojo’s post)

never love an anchor by tardigradeschool (T, 31k, WangXian, Selkies, No Powers, Historical, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Pining, Angst, Happy Ending, The Inherent Eroticism of the Sea, PTSD, Presumed Dead, Drowning)

The Shape of Your Love (is Horny) by Vamillepudding (T, 25k, WangXian, Urban Fantasy, Getting Together, Romantic Comedy, WWX is Bad at Being a Demon, LWJ is definitely a Monsterfucker) 

Howling by MimiSpearmint (E, 40k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mortal Instruments Fusion, Horror, Eldritch, Domestic Fluff, Single Parent WWX,   Witchcraft, Getting Together, shifter!lwj, yllz!wwx, Intercrural Sex, Hand Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Switch WangXian, a bit of a degradation kink, anti-STI sex talismans, Anal Sex, Oral Sex)

this moonlit heart is home by Selenay (M, 10k, wangxian, modern, werecat WWX, crack treated seriously, happy ending, feelings realization, friends to lovers, podfic available)

sink your teeth by ariskamalt (E, 6k, wangxian, modern, fantasy au, werewolf LWJ, fluff & smut, werewolf sex, established relationship, blood, offscreen werewolf monstering aka eating people)

誰謂河廣、一葦杭之 | who says the river is wide (or, Lan Fangji) series by astronicht (E, 18k, wangxian, vampire au, human/vampire relationship, meet-cute, blood drinking, wangxian’s ming dynasty/italian renaissance travel log, frottage, consensual somnophilia, vampire LWJ, kidnapping, historical geometry, hurt/comfort)

the cow says moo, the chicken says squawk, and the demon beast of yiling says by Dragonskye (T, 57k, wangxian, animal transformation, angst w/ happy ending, beauty and the beast fusion, falling in love, hurt/comfort, secret identity, pining)

The Sun Will Rise Series by vespertineflora (E, 129k, WangXian, Fantasy, Fairy Tale Elements, Human/Monster Romance, Tentacle Sex, vine sex, Monster LWJ, Human WWX, Mildly Dubious Consent, Consensual Non-Consent, Slow Romance, Happy Ending, Edgeplay, Hand Jobs, Anal Sex, First Time, Multiple Orgasms, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, WWX Has a Rape/Non-Con Kink, Light Bondage, Light Masochism, Overstimulation, BAMF WWX, Stabbing, Near Death, Poisoning, Protective LWJ, Aphrodisiacs, Falling In Love, Drunken Kissing, Sex Pollen, Subspace, Multiple Penetration, Love Confessions, full body restraint, Emotional Sex, Reincarnation)

a thousand hills, no birds in flight | 千山鳥飛絕 by defractum (nyargles) (E, 26k, WangXian, Mythology, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon adjacent setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort)

[inimitablereel]

2023 Fic+Vid recs

A variety of things I liked this year, made this year. Once again, this got long, so fic recs and fandom-specific recs for dmbj are below the cut. But first a few miscellaneous vids

[vid] Cockroach Motherfuckers by eruthros, thingswithwings multifandom Immortal queer characters multi-vid! This is exactly as much fun and hopeful as it sounds. I've seen maybe 2 of the sources so you know, you don't have to have seen them all.

(We) Didn't Just Come Here to Dance [Fanvid] by FairestCat fandom: Newsies I haven't actually seen newsies, but I really liked this vid. Taking the (very dramatic) musical theater dancing and putting it to a Carly Rae Jepsen song works SUPER well, visually very fun time. Also, unions!

[Vid] Oceanographer's Choice by absternr fandom: Heroes (cdrama 2022) Bai Choufei, Su Mengzhen, and Lei Chun's fucked up relationship(s)/falling apart bad times. This vid is deeply upsetting, just a real exploration of sometimes caring a lot about each other makes everything worse. For maximum sad times, this goes well with absternr's other heroes vid, hey, I just met you, which is the meet-cutes that led to this whole mess.

[AMV] The Draw by Lovely Goblin fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena Black Rose Arc! I've watched this vid so many times really good weird and creepy black rose arc vibes really good parallels between all the different duelists

Also blanket rec that if you've seen Everything Everywhere All at Once, consider looking for vids for it. There's a bunch on ao3 (which can be easier to navigate than youtube, though there are definitely more total vids on youtube) and they're pretty much all spectacular? I was going to include one or two in this rec post and couldn't decide

The wild phonemes of 40 Eridani Keid by astronicht Fandom: Star Trek (aos/tos mashup canon) relationship: Spirk ~10k words rated E You know if you'd told me a year ago I'd be reccing a spirk fic in 2023 I would have been a bit surprised. This is not particularly my fandom wheelhouse. But you know, they're always good, and this fic is really great. This is almost an episode-fic except that nothing really happens plot-wise. But instead of a plot we get a lot of musing about geology and diplomacy and clever references to current events as history in that very trek kind of way and Spock being bitchy just for fun.

fuori dal mondo by bladedweaponsandswishycoats fandom: Qi Ye relationship: Beiyuan/Wu Xi, Beiyuan/Zhou Zishu (more plot than ship focused) ~60k words rated E This is a retelling of Qi Ye except Beiyuan is... some kind of eldritch horror, part-time. It pretty much goes beat for beat through canon (which I appreciate, I loved that book and do not like any of the current tls enough to reread) but with the added layer of whatever is going on with this eldritch thing, which is very cool and tied into canon so don't let me spoil it for you.

We're Leaving Our Shadows Behind Us by lady_ragnell fandom: Tortall - Protector of the Small relationship: Kel/Neal/Yuki ~70k words rated T Canon retelling of Squire and Lady Knight but from Neal's POV. This fic really digs into Neal as a character and the details of the worldbuilding of Tortall, especially the chamber of the ordeal. Also somewhere along the way it sold me on this ship, which I wasn't exactly rooting for when I read the books the first time.

The Untamed/MDZS

a harmony between qin and se by Alaceron relationship: Wangxian ~60k words rated E This is a gender-bent (to make it a het romance) no magic historical drama au where Wei Wuxian is a woman who's arranged to marry Lan Wangji. Honestly this is pretty far from the untamed, especially in terms of themes, though some plot elements will be familiar, but mostly it's just a really great compellingly written historical drama, that happens to have main characters with some familiar characteristics.

Like a Game of Chess by countingcr0ws relationship: Wangxian ~40k words rated T Modern au: influencer Wei Wuxian runs into Lan Wangji on a trip to Taiwan and they travel around together. I love all the little details of their trip - it's like getting to see a new place without going anywhere. Also sometimes I forget that wangxian are very cute? They're a good ship brant

The Epic Highs and Lows of High School Zine Production by el_em_en_oh_pee relationship: Jin Ling & Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling & the mdzs juniors ~7k words rated G Modern au: High schooler Jin Ling has big feelings about a lot of things, including zines, gender, and family. One of those juniors-centric fics that makes me say oh they are Teens huh.

DMBJ

A Little Hole in the Wall by MountainRose gen, Liu Sang centric ~8k words rated G Honestly I would rec this fic even to people who know nothing about tomb shows. One thing that really draws me to a book is descriptions of food (I have read multiple food memoirs this year), and this restaurant au has AMAZING food (and food prep) in it. Not too plotty, mostly just descriptions of delicious things and characterization via cooking.

green with an attitude by ilgaksu relationship: heihua ~8k words rated T If you are in the English language dmbj fandom and you care at all about heihua you probably have already checked out ilgaksu's fic, which has basically defined heihua for the English language fandom. My favorite heihua moments are when other people show up and give you that foil to realize how weird they are, and this fic has that both via Xiuxiu and Wu Xie. Also, a fic about dancing!

making anything last, keeping anything safe by A (mumblemutter) relationship: Wu Xie/Xiao Bai (background pingxie) ~8k words rated M Post canon Xiao Bai takes Wu Xie to explore a tomb that should be perfectly safe... (They set off a sex pollen trap.) I don't particularly ship this, but this fic was extremely well done and kind of sold me on the ship. Fun tomb, really fun characterization for everyone involved.

A World Made Over, Fresh and New by Thimblerig gen, iron triangle, Wu Xie & Li Cu ~1k words rated G If you've ever gotten specific dmbj fic recs from me, it's probably included something by Thimblerig, they're amazing at pulling in very specific canon snippets in under 5k words and I'd generally recommend going through their work by tags if you're looking for fic with underloved side characters or fic set during a part of canon that isn't UN or post-canon, which are generally easier to find. That said, this particular fic is in fact the fandom staple of post-reboot let's go look at a tomb and pulling in a big ensemble cast including some reboot folks. But it's a staple because it's a good vibe, and this is a really well done sliver of friendship and relationship building and perhaps even a tomb trap?

[Vid] Still Into You by absternr iron triangle ot3 This vid is a bop! Multi-tomb show iron triangle being in love, through the years! I've got this bookmark tagged as "joyful"

[vid] When He Died by teyla Wu Sanxing-centric This vid really leans into the weird tomb nonsense and conspiracies and builds to something quite odd, meant in the best possible way. A concentrated version of what tomb shows want to be at their best, from a horror/strange spooky things perspective. Mind the tags.

[Vid] Before I Do by absternr Xiuxiu character study A vid all about Xiuxiu being a badass - she's so clever and cunning and she will figure out and surpass her family history.

[wangxianficrecs]

the field meets the wood by astronicht

the field meets the wood

by astronicht

T, 7k, wangxian

Summary: Wei Wuxian is a dark shadow in the barley. Wei Wuxian is sorry for the kind of compassion that he is about to hand out. (in which Lan Wangji is stolen for salt, and Wei Wuxian unravels the world, a little)

Mojo's comments: Whoa. lwj is kidnapped after being struck with a wasting curse, and wwx goes yiling laozu on the salt merchants who took and hurt him. He's hurt and dripping blood the whole time, yet still manages to have a philosophical discussion about the universe and meaning of nothing before laying down a metaphysical retribution that nearly kills him. It's delicious. The writing is simply beautiful, which is a funny thing to say about a story that evokes such visceral horror.

Excerpt: “Correctly done, your ritual probably would not kill a cultivator,” Wei Wuxian allows. His voice is very cold, very academic. He sounds like Wen Qing, as well he should. He cut his teeth in the finer depths of demonic cultivation first at his shijie’s kitchen table after the war, then at Wen Qing’s elbow. He feels like a creation of the dead women he has known — Madam Yu, shijie, Wen Qing, all of their aborted scorn, their recalled injuries, the way even shijie’s eyes could sometimes look like two dry river stones. Lan Wangji, there on the floor, once had a mother who was kept locked away. Perhaps her qi was bound with a curse like this one; perhaps Lan Wangji has been used before now as a different sort of hostage. Wei Wuxian will try to do right by her. Wei Wuxian would have wanted her as a mother-in-law even if she were as formidable as Madam Yu.

bamf wei wuxian, slight whump, ritualistic self-harm, canon era, tang dynasty style, blood loss, blood and injury, salt economics, post-canon, podfic available, horror, pov wei wuxian, kidnapped lan wangji, established relationship, yiling laozu wei wuxian, curses, happy ending

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[damnslippyplanet]

@leupagus requested, and her wish is my command. At least on a Monday morning when I'd rather be thinking about fic than my weekend email backlog. So:

List five of your least-popular fics, as well as when/why you wrote them.

the green place, Word of Honor modern AU, YeXie, 2021

This was a little string of YeXie Week ficlets based on word prompts. Friend Ritualist* and I had been batting around some ideas for a Plant Witch Xie'er fic in the DMs and I thought I'd use YeXie week to play around with the character voices/world a little and see how I liked writing those two. I had a lovely time writing it, but semi-connected short ficlets where the rimming is (just barely) off-screen are a hard sell. Also I left it marked incomplete for a long time thinking I might go back and finish out the week's prompts, so I'm sure it got passed over by the very wise people who don't read WIPs. No regrets, I like knowing Plant Witch Xier'er is out there even if he'll probably never really get written.

*babe, I'm blanking out and can only think of your pro author tumblr name and not your fandom one, if you're seeing this and wanna be linked, drop your fandom url in the comments and I'll link you up

The Desert Dreams of a River, Darkangel Trilogy, Aeriel/Irrylath, Erin/OFC, 2019.

Yuletide fic! With the hit count you expect for a Yuletide genfic based on one of your formative pieces of circa-1982 fiction about a girl trying to reform a vampire while they live on the terraformed moon. Written in a frantic haze just short of deadline, if I recall, as I'd started a different angle on it that didn't quite work. I'm not saying this story was just an excuse to get Erin a wife, but it was sort of that, since the prompt didn't really allow for Erin to wife Aeriel. (But she SHOULD HAVE. Let Aeriel Have A Husband And A Wife.) I loved these books so much. Unfortunately something must be really fucked with the licensing because only the third of the trilogy was available as an ebook at the time and that doesn't seem to have changed? Pick up a hard copy of the first book if you ever see one, though.

every word is nonsense, Only Friends, Ray&Sand, 2023

Another little tidbit of a fic as an exercise in character voice again and also how much I liked how much the show likes their smoking scenes. Look. I'm a person of a certain age who smoked like a chimney as a teenager and into my early twenties, and I can't help the programming that got into my bones about the inherent eroticism of sharing a cigarette. (lolsob, high five to my fellow Thai BL nerds, how are we all doing this week with the one-two- punch of the DFF shotgunning scene and the new 4 minutes teaser? it's fine, i'm fine.) I wrote this thinking that next I would write some RaySand smut and then didn't because the whirl of Thai BL fandom pulled me on to something else, but at some point I want to rewatch this show and may still write it then because it fed my FirstKhao shipper heart so well.

dizzy in your wake, Nirvana in Fire, Changsu/Jingyan, 2020?

I'm not the one who said "what if Mei Changsu were a were-octopus," that was a series of amazing twitter threads by @astronicht. But people just KEPT sending it to me because I am known to think octopus content is very cool and also to be a Mei Changsu Girlie, and eventually a couple of friends shook me until 600 words of ridiculousness came out. What surprises me is not that this one has few kudos, but that it has >10 kudos at all. I would say this is the most niche and silly thing I've written except I've also written MDZS/Jupiter Ascending fusion fic, so let's not pretend I have any dignity left. Written in 2020 but it didn't get posted until later because I don't usually post things this short. At some point I was in one of those "it's an ARCHIVE, we should put ALL THE THINGS THERE" moods and slapped a few NiF ficlets written for the group chat up there.

A Second Dose, Hannibal, Bev/Freddie, 2016

This was the thing where you write an odd little rarepair and it's so much fun you come back and do a sequel you hadn't meant to write. I'd written Bev/Freddie before and then when a Hannibal rarepair fest came around I was like, hey, what if I did that again. Possibly I just wanted to revisit the cat named after Rosalind Franklin that I'd made up for Bev.

[hopetorun]

tagged by @irrelevanttous the other day and then i forgot to do it until i opened my wip lol

rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote/drew, and tag as many ppl as there are words (or however many you like)

“Send me a picture of the hickey,” Matthew says, and Leon shoves him away before he opens the door.

i'm not tagging 19 people but here's a few: @msmargaretmurry @bropunzeling @astronicht @postoperation @moregraceful

[moondal514]

So! I’ve made a fic rec list of what’s fast becoming my fave type of SHL!WenZhou fic, which I don’t really know what to call but they’re like. Fics that deep dive the WenZhou traumatized brain juices with bonus orgasms? Or something?

Idk but these fics all fit together in my mind as the same genre for whatever reason and I love them.

Please mind the tags of each fic cuz some of them are quite dark and heavy

Let Me Love You by hansbekhart/ @hansbekhart

It had been so easy to imagine, because Wen Kexing has spent a lot of time steeped in his own fantasies: spending his days growing things with his own hands, assembling them into things that would nurture bodies instead of break them. Maybe A-Xiang and her stupid xiao-Cao would join them. Maybe he would be happy forever, here with A-Xu, their hair growing white together. It seemed so simple: all both of them had to do was stay.

Could one return to paradise, after doing such things? Was it really possible to stay?

Zhou Zishu seemed to think so. His hands were as bloody as Wen Kexing’s and yet here he was, in his soft rumpled clothes, his soft rumpled hair, lazing around before meals as if it was only his right that they be served to him. This land, where the flowers bloomed in all four seasons, had happily welcomed the cruel leader of Tian Chuang back into itself. This idiot didn’t even know where the key to all his money was, and yet he was still ready to hand it all over to Wen Kexing to do as he liked.

Wen Kexing watches Zhou Zishu fuss around, and thinks of saying, where I come from, they don’t really call me Philanthropist Wen, you know.

Local killer struggles with the prospect that he could happily retire (and also PTSD but you know)

this love like an exit wound by ripeteeth/ @ripeteeth

Any way you want your pleasure, he thinks, take it from me.

“Lao Wen,” he hears, from somewhere far above him. “Let me in.”

Sometimes you gotta have unhinged marathon sex to celebrate the fact that you and the love of your life aren’t dead

go the hard way with me by Anonymous

The first time, they were in Yueyang.

Wen Kexing had passed the day spending Zhou Zishu's money, flitting from bauble to bauble in the marketplace, coveting this, tasting that, smiling at him through honey-stained lips and asking with that coy look in his eyes,

"Would you begrudge me this small joy, A-Xu? Wouldn't you rather see me happy?"

Happy. What did Zhou Zishu know about that? Happiness was not something to be bought or sold. Happiness wasn't a painted scroll. It wasn't something to be captured by ink on paper in a beautiful word, a burst of color.

But perhaps it could be something fleeting and melodious. The clear trill of a xiao under moonlight, sweet as rainwater on new spring leaves. Or perhaps it was the wrecked sounds that issued from Wen Kexing's mouth when Zhou Zishu fucked him that night.

—

Five times Zhou Zishu makes Wen Kexing cry during sex.

Absolutely gut-wrenching

the belly of it by astronicht/ @astronicht

A soft black evening in a Jiangnan inn; they are drinking, and hesitating.

Or, Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing fail to discuss sadism, and do not quite have sex, on a technicality.

Unreliable narrator!Zhou Zishu my beloved

Hands Fit For Holding by Vorvayne/ @vorvayne

dis·so·ci·ate | \ (ˌ)di-ˈsō-shē-ˌāt, -sē- \

transitive verb: to separate from association or union with another. Latin dissociatus, past participle of dissociare, from dis- + sociare to join, from socius: companion

-

Zhou Zishu is poisoned. Wen Kexing will do whatever he has to.

The emotions this fic made me feel…indescribable

our restless shadows by northofallmusic/ @northofallmusic

Two attempts at being together, and everything that happens in between.

Or:

Wen Kexing is not Zhen Yan any more. That boy is dead.

One of THE Wen Kexing character studies of all time

[phneltwrites]

First line tag game

Thanks @oneofthosebells for tagging me! ☺️💜

RULES: post the first lines of your last 10 fics/chapters posted on AO3 (if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics) and try to draw some conclusions.

Most recent first:

When Simon ends the studio session, he has a disconcerting number of notifications on his phone.

“I’m the only guy you’ve kissed, right?” Simon asks and presses his lips to Wilhelm’s.

When Simon finds out he’s won a Young Musicians of Sweden award, he’s thrilled.

Jason hears that Ra’s has a new pet before he sees him. 

It's the first week of University and Boston is already tired of these orientation activities.

When Prem asks him for a hug to refill his energy, Ten can’t help but follow it up with a kiss.

Shin visits Miw and Neo as often as he can.

Kawi is sure he’s got it this time.

“I don’t want you growing up soft,” Pa says, the first time he makes Chopper watch his men make an example of someone who stole from them; The finger slices easy at the knuckle and the man doesn’t start screaming until a couple of seconds after it’s done.

Ray wouldn’t say she passed out.

What I learned from this is I start all my fics the same way 😑 I'm going to ban myself from using the word 'when.' And I guess, reading these, I usually try to establish whose pov we're in immediately and the time period-try to orient the fic as quick as I can.

And tagging @northofallmusic @astronicht and @defractum if you wanna!

[tinyunderwear]

Tag nine people you want to catch up with/get to know better

Tagged by the incomparable @atreebreathing ❣️

Last Song: PIECES OF ME BY ASHLEE SIMPSON, ESQ

Last Film: actually, mission impossible: fall out. was on tv at the right time, so i sat and watched it all. It was not good 👍

Currently Reading (or last read): trying to get through the rabbit hutch by tess gunty, which won the waterstones debut fiction prize last(?) year, but it's not suuuper compelling?

Currently Watching: i support the strikes 100%!!! but i miss my shows ;__; i guess i'm still watching the bear s2, which i have not finished (sorry everyone)

Current Obsession: as someone who doesn't have hyperfixations, ever, how do i answer this...? i'm still reading primarily in hockey more than anything and excited for the season to start! i'm quite obsessed with sitting at home and rotting, more than anything really

tagging: @holyjost @astronicht @tulakhord @surgebsb <3

[ekebolou]

Kostas: Academy Days, The Butcher, pt 1

Hey @astronicht here you go. If there was some other prompt that was more interesting to you, let me know, because I kind of started this one because it hit my brain funny.

I don't know how many parts this will be, and I'm still working on the last bits, but this was one of the prompt ideas discussed and I went with it. The dubious prize for snagging my 1,000th like, which for a blog this old is probably a really sad number but we celebrate here instead of dwelling.

This is set somewhere early in the Third Year. I was going to split it up into more parts but I got lazy (~5,000 words for part one, so not on the short side, since I usually aim for like ~3,000 to a post, but kind of awkward to up)

“And for you,” Cole said, laying one dried, paper-wrapped sausage on Nika’s chest, like one might law a long-stemmed flower on a lover’s grave.

It could have been Nika’s grave, very easily (it was his bed) for he was lying in it (distinctly alive) as if he were dead, and wishing just slightly (previously it had been somewhat sharply, but Cole had walked in (and given him sausage)) to actually be dead. For a little bit, at least (like an hour or two, tops – he had things to do).

Nika wanted desperately to say it wasn’t his fault, the fatigue and stinging back, but it really was. He wasn’t going to get leave anyway, as it wasn’t his turn, so he had felt absolutely free to correct a classmate’s verbiage by nearly suffocating him with grass. It WASN’T his fault that his classmate was not better at grappling, or at least good enough to avoid being pushed face first into the ground for long enough he almost passed out. It was really the length of the time that was Nika’s fault, which the grappling ollamh knew very well (thus, punishment), and that it was rather too dangerous to be throwing anyone head first into anything when they were practicing on hard ground (thus, non-trivial amounts of punishment).

That the grass was so verdant as to be suffocating was the fault of rain, and therefore up to God. If the Ainjir had a problem with that they could come to faith and take up their own arguments.

Cole threw himself into their one intact chair and started picking at a piece of flatbread ragged with the bits he had already taken out, pinching and flattening and taking fingertip-shaped crescents out to press onto his tongue. It was barbaric (but it did make it last longer, which was probably the only reason he still had sausage to give to Nika). And, really, given their mutual lack of funds, it was impressive he had gotten the sausage at all.

“Well,” Cole sighed, taking a haphazard bite out of the remainder of his bread and slouching down, casting his head over the hard chair back, face turned upward so that he, too, looked a little dead, “that was a waste.”

Nika sniffed deeply.  The sausage didn’t smell right. Or, rather – “This is Servan’s?”

Cole lifted himself up so as to not choke on his next little medallion of bread.

“Yes, I did try, and I did try to be very discreet…” Cole insisted, quite unnecessarily (he didn’t realize or had not conceded to the fact that Nika had, from the moment he had said it, ceased giving any thought to Cole’s utterly mistaken notion that he could possibly be discreet enough for it to matter),

“…but the first time I went ‘round the butcher was too distracted to serve anyone. Just utterly preoccupied with some problem with his hooks, or his supply of meats, or something – I’m afraid I didn’t catch any familiar words.”

“You don’t know any,” Nika said, picturing (he could only see the ceiling) and ignoring the collapse of Cole’s face and the start of his protests. To give him something else to say, Nika asked, “And then?”

Cole had another bit of bread and said, “Closed.”

Nika sat up (he caught the sausage).

“–quite early, but I suppose that’s what the fuss was about in the morning – must have run through his supplies.”

“You went?” The badly formulated question Nika blamed on his surprise, but luckily Cole understood.

“In the morning?” Cole said. “I would say around ten.”

“And you returned?”

“Around three?” But this one, Cole did not understand – but that wasn’t his fault, even Nika had to admit. He meddled in matters beyond even his considerable comprehension.

Nika’s exclamation was not a result of curiosity, but of shocked disbelief. Shocked disbelief that Cole did not understand the gravity of the slight to which he had been subjected. Nika’s eyes narrowed as he watched Cole contentedly nibble his bread (he knew something had upset Nika, but would wait to see if it was something in which Nika wanted to involve him. Both because he was lazy, and because Nika hadn’t approved of the whole mission to try a new butcher’s wares anyway).

And No – Nika wouldn’t involve him. In part because he was already involved, he just didn’t know. Because it wouldn’t be Cole who had been insulted – how, after all, could a Midraeic butcher expect a faithless Ainjir to behave politely and respectably? – it would be Them.

Better that Cole didn’t know it was Them, or he would be reacting much more severely. As always, Cole said nothing, but as if Nika didn’t know Cole had broken another cadet’s nose just last week for some unwise comment (he, too had lain on the bed as if dead (but not because he had been punished for that. He had been punished for some other thing – not, inevitably, for any actual rule he had broken, like sneaking down to the cellars to steal food, but for being in a place he shouldn’t have had access to or some such lesser trespass he was continually committing). No – Cole also had a happy talent for convincing, intimidating, or somehow shaming those whose impudence he corrected into not wanting to admit to the correction, even if such a confession should see him punished for it. He also had a happy talent for not doing things as forthright as smashing someone’s face into the ground for a near-fatal period of time in front of an ollamh in the middle of class.

…Why Nika bothered with and endured the punishments for such correcting idiots he had no idea. It’s not like anyone learned anything – anyone who hadn’t, by now, stopped running their mouth at Nika was never going to – it was just personally satisfying. (And Nika sometimes called Cole a fool!)).

Better that Cole not be involved, anyway. What could he do? Cole didn’t understand, and Nika doubted he ever really would. Even Nika didn’t want to understand. It was incredibly stupid. But then, it felt incredibly stupid that Nika was so compelled to fix the situation (a disturbance in the community was a threat; Midraeic food, in addition to being good, was also some of the only food they could afford). So they were all incredibly stupid together, as a community should be.

“Do you want your sausage?” Cole asked.

In answer, Nika shoved half of it into his mouth in one ferocious bite. With a disappointed frown and delicate noise of discontent, Cole let his head fall back again.

**

“Faer.”

Two weeks later, the time had come. Faer started as his name was called, probably out of surprise and not fear. If there was anyone who didn’t jump when Galen called out his name with purpose, it would be Faer.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t (very wisely) somewhat hesitant in answering. 

“Galen,” Faer said, to the fearsome figure stalking up to him before the gates.

“Come with me,” Galen said.

“Well, such invitations you give!” Faer said, but jovially, shoving his hands in his pockets and falling into step beside Galen as he strode out the gate. “Will this take all day?”

“No,” Galen said. “I need two favors.”

Perhaps it was a trick of the perspective, but Faer almost looked disappointed that these tasks would not take all day.

“The first is very awkward,” Galen admitted.

“More or less awkward than the second?” Faer asked, still cheerful.

“I don’t know yet,” Galen said. He glanced up again at Faer walking beside him. “I don’t know what the second favour is yet. It could be very awkward.”

“Intriguing.”

He waited, but Galen didn’t seem to want to actually ask his favour. Unlike every other Ainjir Galen had ever met, though, he was not inclined to fill silences with chatter. It was probably very smart, but at the moment, Galen had trouble appreciating it.

“I need you to buy something for me,” Galen said. 

This was very serious indeed, and the bounce to Faer’s step departed for a long, sombre stride, which was also slightly annoying since Faer had much longer legs than Galen and it made their pace all funny. But Galen couldn’t complain – almost all the not-rich cadets knew that Faer was the one to ask for purchases outside their means, as his father’s law practice had generated considerable credit among the city merchants for the family. Despite being not at all rich, his reach was, in practice, second only to the most wealthy of the noble cadets. And he wasn’t a dick about it.

“So… like, how expensive? What is it?”

“A sausage.”

Faer stopped. A few moments later, Galen stopped as well. Then a few more moments later, he walked back to where Faer was.

“Is it, like, a very special sausage?”

“No,” Galen said, not certain Faer would understand the nuances of the situation, and slightly embarrassed that he felt compelled to add, “I don’t think it will be better than Servan’s, anyway.”

“But you need me to buy it?” Faer asked. He did not offer to lend Galen the money; he was, in fact, very smart.

“Yes, and it’s far – across the city.” Time was precious – they only ever got a few days of leave, and really only hours in each day.

“Sure,” Faer said, and resumed a position beside Galen, so they could continue walking. “Is this… related to the second favour?”

“Yes.”

“Is it… well, do I need to change, or like…I don’t know…”

“No,” Galen said, after a moment’s thought. “Better to be in uniform I think.”

They took a few more steps in silence.

“Is this going to get me in trouble with Servan?”

Galen scoffed, but because it was Faer, had the decency to look apologetic as he explained. “You’re Ainjir, it’s fine.” He paused, “but go to him next.”

Faer nodded, tension easing. “So, go buy sausages at two places and save one for you? That’s the mission? Honestly, I was going to go to Servan’s anyway. Anything else?”

“No, but don’t go to Servan’s now,” Galen said. “I need to speak with him.”

“Meet up later, then?”

Galen nodded, and all Faer’s cheerfulness returned.

**

A little more than an hour later, Nika sat at one of the high, tiny tables perched just inside the wall of Servan’s open storefront. This part of the wall backed to the tiny alley, in the depths of which Servan and his wife did their slaughtering, carving, grinding, and casing (at least part of this illegally, but that was none of Nika’s business). This half of the front of the shop folded up into an awning – much needed for the sun was bright today – but Nika had chosen the relative privacy of the smaller table and the shelter of the wall. There he drank tea in a leisurely fashion, all the various accoutrement of herb, citrus peel, sugar, the little dishes and spoons and sticks, arrayed before him, pretending (or not having to pretend so hard) to be too tired for much more strenuous activity on the first day of his leave.

Nika never allowed himself to be served all of the accoutrements of Midraeic tea. He also never sat inside the shop – not if he could help it – if there weren’t others with him to force his hand.

Servan knew when the gates opened to let cadets out on leave, so Nika had dallied as to not show up too early. They had passed their usual greetings, which had taken probably a half an hour – relatively brief, but Nika had the excuse of having the much reduced volume of letters from his family meaning there was not much to share that was not awkward, even for the canvassing of a butcher.

Now, Nika waited. Not because Servan was busy – it was not a particularly busy morning, but that didn’t matter, because Nika would always get a second slice of his time. Usually, if he was alone, he tried to leave before the second canvassing and would be caught, taking tiny steps backward out of the shop, having pastries or new medicines or herb bundles or off-cuts stuffed into his hands for at least another ten minutes (God help him if he ran into anything because he would be made to sit to be examined and served more tea (a whole pot!) and Servan’s wife would inevitably emerge and then all the Midraeic ladies would come to offer their opinions of his grievous injuries and really mostly gossip about everyone over his head occasionally clucking at him and telling him to sit and rest like he was an infant and it was a whole extra half-to-full hour).

Staying after of the second canvassing (never quite as long – perhaps only fifteen minutes at the most – and again, only when he was alone, and the social rules reverted back to all Midraeic rules), was an even clearer signal; Servan would present himself again, ready to stay.

“Puer, it is a fine day,” Servan said, bringing down the serving tray shielding his eyes as he moved from sun to shade around the edge of the wall.

This was not a pleasantry (‘ah,’ the voice of his father cautioned, ‘maybe not only, not only, not “not”’) – not only a pleasantry, but also an accusation. It was a fine day, why wasn’t he out enjoying it? It was a fine day, he should be spending it improving himself. It was a fine day, worth thanking God over, why wasn’t he observing while he had the chance?

“It is,” Nika said, but volunteered no more, as Servan had already settled himself into the tall chair across the table. Preoccupied with cleanliness, like a good Midraeic butcher, he kept a second set of pockets, protected by his apron, tied around his waist, from which he now took a handkerchief to wipe the sweat from his brow, and which he carefully replaced, making sure he wasn’t sitting on it. 

“Ah,” Servan said knowingly, “you are having a hard time with your lessons?”

This was a bit silly. Servan always clucked sympathetically but never said anything about classes at the Academy, not even that he knew nothing about them – he would say, that was how much nothing he knew! – despite surely having heard enough years’ worth of complaints to be able to sketch the curriculum, if not pass the tests.

“Eha,” Nika said easily, “no more than usual. I know my sermones already, what else should I know?”

“A good boy, fili’s skola,” said Servan.

Platitudes – but then, so had been what Nika said.

“Not all would say so.” Nika said, switching to Midraeic.

“Let them say it to me!” Servan said, switching over himself as he thumped a fist on his chest, then tucked his serving tray under his arm.

“They would, if they were done eating,” Nika said with a deferential smile, “but then, they might not want to.”

“A loyal boy – you warm my heart, you know, in this place, it’s not like your towns – eha, your villages,” he corrected, in deference to the tininess of Nika’s home community. “We have to compete!”

While he was never rude, Nika was – even he had to admit – not usually this polite, which Servan’s self-correction noted. Servan was not fooled by this politeness (cooperation, maybe? Nika would like it termed cooperativeness instead of politeness), either. Of course Servan knew that Cole had visited some other butcher. Of course Nika knew who buttered his bread – or cased his sausages, rather. Truly, even more than a regular butcher, Nika was under Servan’s loving thumb.

“Compete for what?” Nika said. “The Ainjir?”

Servan made a wry face and waggled a finger at Nika, who sipped his tea. “You laugh, but every half-trained fool with a sharp enough knife tries to set up here, in the Capitol, where all the people are!”

“Why? Everybody’s settled, who are they going to take in?”

“Eha, clever boy,” Servan said, seeming to scoot towards the edge of his stool as if he might leave, “you just want to know who the new butcher is.”

“I have the word of God, I want for nothing,” Nika said quickly, “and anyway I can’t know who the new butcher is.”

At this, Servan pushed himself back onto his stool, but Nika took another sip of tea rather than continuing directly. He didn’t even look at Servan. The ‘can’t’ was doing work it could only do in Midraeic, when paired with everything else he did. Nika’s staunch and utter lack of interest in the new butcher – or Servan’s acceptance of such – meant that they could talk about him. Gossip was, after all, forbidden (a claim disputed in the commentaries, as it was not direct speech of the Prophet (obviously a result of the recorder’s hysterical grief (also disputed, several other tenets – some for which the punishment was death [citations of historical events to prove it] – were also so recorded (also disputed, definition needed: what is a tenet?))) look, was any of this really needed when the People exist in a perpetual state of sin? (disputed) Or was gossip inevitable, like sex outside wedlock? (disputed, disputed, disputed, and so on…)

“I only get leave every three months.” Nika set his teacup down. “What should I know, anyway?”

“Well,” Servan said consolingly, “not everyone understands.”

Ah, thought Nika, dully disappointed but not surprised – it was his relationship with Cole.

“It’s a posted schedule,” Nika protested, knowing very well that wasn’t what Servan meant, and also that Servan knew that Nika knew that wasn’t what Servan meant.

“Eha,” Servan said, almost as a grunt, waving away this protest, “everyone knows the cadets.”

“They know all the cadets?” Nika said, brows raised over his teacup. About as close to ‘have you gossiped about me outside of the acceptable radius of your couple hundred customers to the unacceptable radius of the whole city – I am a very private person’ as he could ever get.

Servan raised his shoulders and readjusted the tray under his arm as he made an equivocating gesture. He said, in an (insincere) apologetic voice. “They probably learn more things than they should really know, and think they know more than they really learn.”

“Prophet guide us, our neighbors’ fruit isn’t ours to taste, even if it falls into our hand.” This was, perhaps, the most annoying thing Nika could have possibly said, not only because it was (in context) an intensely vague parable, but because it was, technically, part of the teachings, though it was the kind of part that only a teachers’ son would bother to quote, and only in a bad argument (it wasn’t disputed but ALL of the later commentaries stopped by to make fun of it).

“What should I say?” Servan asked, in that kind of conversationally pleading tone one takes up when they won’t admit to a mistake. “I can’t stop my ears like a rabbit, to sleep.”

See – said Nika to the shadow of his father observing in his head – this is what I mean. Servan was a very good Midraeic butcher. He was the kind of Midraeic butcher that argued with you in your own voice (and he always argued) and put lesson up to lesson like a card player matching suits. But the Prophet willed it, had he gone to Academy instead of Nika he would have excelled. Their butcher back home had been a comparative idiot, and he only had so many families to track and they were all intermarried anyway.

“So they gossip?” Nika said, dropping the word in his best ‘teacher’ voice, making Servan blameless in this insidious practice.

“The Ainjir gossip,” Servan corrected, as if no Midraeic person had ever in their life gossiped. “The Ainjir gossip about all things.”

“What ‘all things’ do they have to gossip about,” Nika said, genuinely disgruntled. Of course, he already knew that (Cole had told him of the things they not just talked about but published, might God be blind). He meant it more as a rhetorical complaint, but Servan only raised his brows and looked away, at the ground.

“Eha! They do not!”

“They do,” said Servan.

“And this is all the way across the city?” said Nika, meaning, of course, only the Midraeic people in the city. It was about sex (and it was only more proof of their godlessness that the Ainjir would gather up, typeset, and print about it. Cole had told him not to worry – it wasn’t that Nika had worried, but he had been certain there was nothing truthful to put in about HIM, at least).

“You know all it takes is one visiting sister and opa,” Servan made a little explosion with his fingers, like a dandelion head bursting in the wind, “all over town.”

“So, what – they believe the little books and gossiping sisters about my business?”

“Child, your business?” Servan shook his head, then tilted it and held out mirrored hands. “Your friend, though?”

This time Nika really was caught by surprise. “Cole?”

“He has a bad reputation,” Servan continued. “It’s not for me to say, but it’s being said, you know.”

“Whose business is that?” Nika asked accusingly. (The answer being, of course, that it was his business, and his business alone. True, Ainjir were always open for discussion, but among the people certain niceties should be observed).

Servan turned his hands out as if to defend himself, then took the tray out from under his arm for a fan. “You’re a nice boy. You’re sacrificing for the people. You could be married ten times over, have twenty little children, and have your own skola, but you have this Ainjir, and, oof, this Ainjir.”

“This Ainjir what?” Nika said angrily, at some point having passed over into just genuinely complaining to his butcher.

“The mind dances and the heart stumbles,” Servan said with a sigh. “You know you’re smart, they know you’re smart, but you wouldn’t be the first! Not even the first with just this one.”

“Oof,” Servan said again, for emphasis, as Nika stewed.

It was a testament to his investment in Nika that Servan waited for him – fanning himself all the while with his serving tray – to get a grip on himself.

Nika, for his part, felt both the gentle, early stab a headache and a ferocious, aching, emptiness in his chest. He rubbed his forehead and tried to ignore both.

“I am not a fool,” Nika said.

“I know that,” Servan said, pointing emphatically at himself, then at Nika. “You know that.” He gestured expansively out with his tray at the city at large. “Them? They only know this boy is no good for you.”

“Eha,” Nika sighed, dropping his hand back to his tea, “no good? What do they know about no good? Isn’t the whole thing no good?”

Servan shrugged with divine complacency. “The holy seek to drown in the ocean of being loved, and loving.”

That was some Ainjir-Midraeic bullshit (it wasn’t, it was a near quote of a very well respected Comidrian poet-theosopher blessed to know the Prophet in visions soon after His death; Nika couldn’t even say it was disputed. It was just… argued about heavily between branches).

Nika grunted, arms folded. “Maybe they should think I’m no good.”

“Never, my child.” Servan laughed, heartily, and slapped Nika on the shoulder as he pushed himself off the high chair. “Even if you were no good, could they admit it?”

Nika smiled as Servan went, waving him off, then leaned back against the wall to rest.

He shouldn’t be so upset. It wasn’t the worst problem.

They thought Cole was a slut.

This was not an issue he had been expecting. The issue he had been expecting was that Servan’s uncanny protection would not withstand public knowledge of his taking up with Cole in the first place. That Nika would be rejected, perhaps not from the whole, but from significant parts of the Midraeic community in the city. It was nigh miraculous to Nika it had lasted at all. Even now his face heated the way it had when he had come to Servan’s knowing that Servan knew.

Because of course Servan would know, eventually. There was no way to hide from a Midraeic butcher. Even with the Academy walls. Not for long, anyway.

And had Nika wanted to?

Maybe. A little. For all it felt like home now, he had hated the whole system of butchers for most of his life. He hated the roundabout words, that his business wasn’t his own, that any little thing became the whole town’s concern (and big things – actual sins – sometimes these fell to the butcher before to the priest, IF they even came to the priest at all (lay your sins at the feet of the Prophet! (the patient face of his father rose before his mind, holding his hands up like Servan had, asking for peace (and HAD Nika laid his sins at the feet of the Prophet? (his face burned even more now)))).

Back home, it would be different. With his siblings behind him, he would have marched to the other butcher and accused him of passing tales of no significance. It would have been a great row; Catillia and Ursula would be delighted. Nothing would be concluded, of course, but he would have had his say – directly, the way he wanted to.

Because then, his mother would have reported on the whole town’s reaction and settled any lingering disputes in quiet teas with neighbours. His father would disapprove of the whole thing, but only say so if things got so that he actually heard about it from someone else. But his father would studiously avoid hearing anything, because he, too, would only want to hear what Nika’s mother would have to say and hope that settled it well before it got to him.

(Would they now, though? Would his family – his siblings – be behind him?)

Servan had done well by him. To a degree second only to his father, Servan grasped and believed in what Nika’s purpose at Academy had been (and what was it now?). He didn’t have to be as supportive of Nika as he had been, but he was, even in the matter of Cole (he wasn’t pleased – nobody would be pleased, would they? – but he understood).

Many things were different for the people of Midras in the city, who lived so close among the Ainjir. Just… Not, apparently, this:

IF Nika was a Good Midraeic Boy, Son of a Teacher, etc (which he was, thanks in no small part to Servan’s patronage)

AND the people Must Accept he was courting Cole (a severe disappointment – they had daughters!),

AND Cole was an Ainjir (less trustworthy at the base of it),

THEN it was clear that the Good Midraeic Boy Nika had been Fooled by the Licentious Ainjir (eha! A familiar tale!).

THEREFORE Cole was an Unfaithful Slut Who Would Break Nika’s Heart (this was Not Allowed because it would be a blow to the pride of the city’s Midraeic people).

In this, Nika was doubly an innocent, because his father was Geronese Midraeic. A teacher, even, whose teaching was, in their kindest estimation, of a tradition they would ascribe to only the most ascetic penitents (ludicrous, and anyway, he had his mother, too (God, they knew fucking everything)). This only made the situation more tragic.

And what could the people do? They couldn’t say anything to Nika – it wasn’t any of their business(!), one didn’t meddle in affairs best left to family(!!) – but not only did Nika have no family here to protect him (!!!) they were under no obligation to the Ainjir.  But, as Ainjir, Cole wasn’t privy to the business of the people so it’s not like they could just talk to him, either. So, Cole was being gently ostracised for his amorality in community affairs.

Honestly, this could have carried on for years without them noticing. Except that Nika wasn’t willing to have his access to Good Food threatened, and thus was interested enough to try to solve the issue.

At least, that was the reason at first. If he and Cole wanted to live on suspicious meat pies on leave, they could.

But this was still a slight against Them.

If Cole and Nika were a Midraeic couple, the people in the city would understand it that way, too. To question Cole’s faithfulness – to pass stories about his reputation in anything but the Most Hushed tones – was to insult Nika. They were insulting his fidelity, insulting his intentions in the relationship, insulting his judgement and partnership, to act as if he would not respond to aspersion cast upon his partner. Nobody would tolerate gossip that labelled their daughter unfaithful, promiscuous, and nobody would expect the one courting her to accept such a thing.

The people should understand that he viewed it that way. They should see it that way.

Because they didn’t get to apply some Midraeic rules and not others to Nika’s relationship. They didn’t get to pick and choose how Midraeic he was, or in what ways. That wasn’t the way It Worked, or it certainly wasn’t the way he was going to allow It to Work.

And, purposefully or not, Servan had given him an idea for how to Make His Point.

[wangxianficfinder]

Modern Cultivation / Modern with magic 

~*~

living in my memory/living in my mouth by tardigradeschool (T, 32k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, reincarnation, college/university au, hurt/comfort, sharing a bed, light angst, nightmares, epistolary, pining, friends to lovers)

I feel like I win when I lose by so_shhy (T, 25k, WangXian, Modern AU, Sports, basically written as the ATP tennis finals, but with extra swords, Getting Together, [Podfic] I feel like I win when I lose by sisi_rambles)

💖 sudden nature series by everbrighter (M, 97k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, 5+1, family feels, parenthood, teenage rebellion, past character death, resurrection, pining, domestic fluff, angst, happy ending)

My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio by x_los (T, 2k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, case fic, competence kink, YLLZ WWX)

this river runs to you by sundiscus (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mutual Pining, Dragons, Literal Sleeping Together, Tender wound tending)

in the blossom season (in the pouring rain) by varnes (M, 13k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, [Podfic of] in the blossom season (in the pouring rain) by exmanhater)

bring you home by Alasse_Irena (T, 27k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, selkies, pre-slash)

💖 in the water grass, in the green by nerdzeword & twigofwillow (G, 25k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, river spirit LWJ, witch WWX, illness, gardening, tea)

结局难更改 (the ending is hard to change) Series by PorcupineGirl (G, 50k, WangXian, Time Travel, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivators AU, Canon Divergence, Time Traveler Wei Wuxian, Reincarnation)

💖 Thirty-three Lashes by Winglesss (E, 56k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, canon temporary character death, immorality, reincarnation, case fic, angst w/ happy ending, hurt/comfort, nightmares, ghosts, curses, pining, slow burn, guilt, self-hatred, major character injury)

a garden in your ribcage by puddingcatbeans (G, 13k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, soft witches au, developing relationship)

❤️ start getting real by azurewaxwing (T, 21k, wangxian, Modern with Magic, Reality TV, POV Outsider, Golden Core Reveal, (sort of), Appropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Silencing Spell, Getting Together)

the heart of a bear by sasamelons (T, 17k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, friends to lovers, accidental marriage, time travel, fluff & angst, happy ending, getting together, pining, emotional baggage, case fic)

A Curse of a Different Color by nickel710 (G, 35k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Modern Cultivation, Curses, Curse Breaking, Asexual polyamory, Repressed LWJ, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drunk LWJ, Falling In Love, WWX Being an Idiot, Bunnies, Non-explicit vomit, Anxiety)

The Jade Chamber by raitala (E, 18k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, case fic, pining, angst w/ happy ending, hurt/comfort, getting together, trapped together, there’s only one bed, light bondage, masturbation, oral sex, emotional baggage, ghosts)

swinger of birches by astronicht (M, 23k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, Practical Magic au, grief/mourning, canonical character death, angst w/ happy ending, witches, necromancy)

This Tornado Loves You by FeelsForBreakfast (M, 8k, WangXian, Horror, modern cultivation au, Pizza Hut, Humor, Mistaken Identity, Modern with Magic)

you by sami (T, 6k, WangXian, Background Relationships, Shapeshifters, But Not Everyone, Accidental Baby Acquisition, very little plot just vibes, Modern with Magic)

your petals that bloom in the snow by lulu_kitty (T, 10k, wangxian, modern cultivation, cloud recesses study arc, skaterboy WWX, everyone lives au)

everybody’s bones are just hollow branches by bee_knife (DisasterBiAlert) (E, 6k, wangxian, modern cultivation, empathy, ghosts, hurt/comfort, smut, happy ending)

another world behind the tide by northofallmusic (tofsla) (E, 8k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, both real and metaphorical oceans, sex in a cave, minor injuries, curses)

those who walk there by yukla (T, 2k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, angst w/ happy ending, spirit WWX)

lemon morning in a wash of rain by curiositea (E, 26k, wangxian, WWX & LSZ & LWJ, modern cultivation, major character death,  angst w/ happy ending, grief/mourning, anxiety, depression, canonical temporary character death, dub con, slice of life, explicit sexual content, dom/sub undertones)

the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, WangXian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Sort Of, Getting Together, Confessions)

Wish I could forget the taste of your skin and the feel of your hands pinning me down by KizuKatana (E, 63k, WangXian, weapons-grade thirst, Getting Back Together, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Canon Divergence, modern cultivator au, Case Fic, LWJ's canonically big dick, Mutual Pining)

🧡 The World We Made by updatebug (T, 80k, WangXian, The Old Guard fusion, Immortals, Immortal LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, NMJ Lives, Reincarnation, Modern AU, The Old Guard AU, Team Unbury Your Gays, LITERALLY, Temporary Character Death)

leading tone by silencemostofall (G, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, Soulmates, with a lil twist, Eventual Happy Ending, lesbian wq right Music, Orchestra, platonic and romantic pining, [Podfic] Leading Tone by silencemostofall by Beria1021)

pastel by antebunny (G, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Soulmates, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Self-Esteem Issues, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unrequited Love, but not actually, no courtesy names)

and so my heart beats wildly Series by lily_winterwood (E, 127k, WangXian, Modern AU, Modern with Magic, Competition-Set Fic, Multimedia, Miscommunication, frenemies to lovers, Rivals to Lovers, Slow Burn, Seemingly One-sided But Actually Mutual Pining, Oblivious WWX, Competitive Cultivation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Olympics, Inappropriate use of an Olympic gold medal, Breathplay, Rough Sex, Food Porn, Switching, Bottom LWJ, Social Media, Worldbuilding Bonuses)

see you yesterday by glyphic (M, 138k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Modern with Magic, Ghost Hunters, Time Loop, Case Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn)

one good thing by Yuu_chi (T, 26k, WangXian, Modern AU, Ghost WWX, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, [Podfic] One Good Thing by jellyfishfire)

🧡 CSI: Gusu Edition Series by Stratisphyre (M, 39k, WangXian, WWX & LQR, Modern with Magic AU, College AU, Golden Core Reveal, Single parent WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Hospitalization, Allusions to violence and murder)

the journey is far from over Series by thelastdboy (M/E, 164k, WangXian, Modern AU, Canon Divergence, Madam Lán Lives, JYL Lives, WQ Lives, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Slow Burn, YLLZ WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Kink Negotiation, Kink Exploration, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, WWX Lives, Mental Health Issues, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Single Parent WWX, Selectively Mute LWJ, Eventual Smut, Light Dom/sub, LWJ & MM Friendship, Modern AU but not too modern™, mlm/wlw solidarity, Wēn Remnants Live, LWJ saves the Wēn Remnants, LWJ's Punishment, Neurodivergent LWJ, Stimming)

leave sooner, drive slower, live longer. Series by thelastdboy (M, 26k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, POV LWJ, Character Study, Coming of Age, Past Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Neurodiversity, Autism Spectrum, Situational Mutism, modern cultivation au, Hurt No Comfort, YLLZ WWX, Aftermath of a Natural Disaster, Cultivation World Politics, Slow Burn, Miscommunication, Taxi Driver WWX, Getting Together, Sentient Burial Mounds, Mistaken Identity, No Major Character Death, Names are Magic, Horror Elements, Angst with a Happy Ending, Soft WangXian, WWX Has ADHD, Case Fic)

Tired of the Sunset by julomaiboulomai (M, 55k, WangXian, Modern AU, Superheroes/Superpowers, Identity Porn, Secret Identity, Grief/Mourning, Canonical Character Death, Unreliable Narrator, superhero fights, Major Character Injury, Major Character Undeath, Slow Burn, But also somehow, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, JC-LWJ Mutual Hate Society, Domestic Fluff, Co-Parenting, Making Out, Fade to Black, Brief mentions of suicide, Angst with a Happy Ending, Art Embedded)

Future Cultivation AU Series by Aki_no_hikari (G, 23k, WangXian, Modern AU, Canon Divergence, College/University, Modern with Magic, Reincarnation, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Always Knew You Were Magical by jeyhawk (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Curse Breaking, Case Fic, Sharing a Bed, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Pining, Resolved Sexual Tension, Masturbation, First Time, Blow Jobs, curse fic, College/University, True Love's Kiss, Attempted self harm under the influence of a curse)

artificial nocturne by idrilka (E, 10k, WangXian, Modern with Cultivation, First Meetings, Sex Demons, Misunderstandings, First Time, Getting Together, Rimming)

Care and Feeding by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 16k, WangXian, Modern with Cultivation, Sex Demons, slight dubcon, Hurt/Comfort)

silt, or scurvy series by astronicht (M, 11k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, chronic illness, podfic by raitala)

medium blues by darkterrible (E, 193k, WangXian, Horror, Spooky, Opposites Attract, Fluff and Angst, Gore, Ghosts, Necromancy, Mojo’s post with her review and the author’s original summary—this beloved fic has had a here-again-gone-again history)

🧡 A Study in Fluff by WeaverOfTheNight (T, 29k, WangXian, Modern AU, Ghost bunnies, Vet LWJ, Architect WWX, Kid LSZ, Domestic fluff, Modern with Magic)

Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy (T, 87k, wangxian, modern cultivation, academia au, music, kid fic, action/adventure, canon-typical violence, canon-typical JGY behavior, slow burn, fluff & angst, happy ending)

Something at the Door by Pip (Moirail) (E, 50k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivation, background 3zun, Background Yi City trio, Intrusive Thoughts, Horror, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Character Death, Blood, Explicit Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mystery, Urban Fantasy)

long have you been alone by martyrsdaughter (E, 56k, wangxian, modern cultivation, amnesia, curses, hanahaki disease, secrets, not actually unrequited love, banter, workplace relationship, light angst, sexual content)

Red Is Just Black Remembering by Zizzani (E, 41k, wangxian, angst w/ happy ending, ghosts, modern)

Moonlight as My Guide by BromeliadDreams (M, 32k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, academia au, case fic, horror, canon-typical desecration of the dead, grey-ace WWX)

with you, I am home by tellthemstories (M, 47k, wangxian, modern cultivation, fake dating, meeting the family, there was only one bed, casual domesticity, oblivious WWX)

when I look over my shoulder by cafecliche (T, 10k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, exorcist LWJ, medium WWX, vague The Conjuring au, horror elements, pre-relationship, pining, hurt/comfort)

a ghost is just a memory you haven't met yet by ThirtySixSaveFiles (T, 5k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, libraries, curses, fire, brief horror)

please forgive my most passionate disruptions by pumpkinpaix (E, 65k, wanxian, modern w/ magic, stripper/exotic dancers au, strip clubs, stripper WWX, graduate school au, internalized homophobia, repressed LWJ)

most times a wish by impossibletruths (T, 16k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, case fic, roommates, getting together, ghosts, pining, curses)

Crossed Wires by stardust_and_sunlight (T, 20k, wangxian, modern cultivation, college/university au, meet-cute)

What We Grew in this Forsaken Place by Admiranda (T, 27k, wangxian, modern cultivation, shapeshifter LWJ, WWX has a fear of dogs, bunny crimes, genius WWX, unexpected pet owner WWX)

Detective, please. by Pitycup_hearts (T, 124k, WangXian, XueXiao, Paranormal, Detectives, paranormal unit, csi, Crime Fighting, Ghosts, Fluff, Angst and Humor, Modern AU, Thrille, rWY doesn't die this time, OOC, plot heavy)

Grandmaster of Demonic Party Games by Trickster_Angel (M, 50k, WangXian, Modern AU, College AU, Crack, Light Angst, Humor, Paranormal, horror, Slow Burn)

Hanlong by micratus (E, 15k, wangxian, modern cultivation, case fic, cloud recesses study arc, slow burn, oblivious WWX, drunken shenanigans, canon-typicak violence, action & romance, eventual smut, reincarnation au, humor, WIP, translation of Ханьлун by Alexandra Kreuz (in russian))

🧡 Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 100k, WIP, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX, caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war)

Anonymous Hero by NeverEnoughWangxian (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Modern Cultivators, Inventor WWX, POV LSZ, Inadvertently Reuniting Your Boss With His Old Crush/Best Friend, Reunions, Handwavy Detective Work, Handwavy Talismans)

~*~