#at one point i called the medical material place to tell them my grandma would like to keep renting the wheelchair she has

[albonium]

i'm having a day

[chapter-17]

Not quite 10 years of pony

Well I feel like since we’re here at the decade mark since Friendship is Magic first aired I should probably say SOMETHING in my usual effort to pretend I’m even remotely close to being someone anyone would want to listen to!

I don’t know what it was about Friendship is Magic. It was a good show but there had been good shows before and there will be plenty of good shows to come, but I think what clicked the MOST is that when it came out I had recently moved out of my parent’s house for the second time at age 23, and for the first time I could just... do what I WANTED to do, stress free.

Flashback way further to when we first got satellite TV when I was at the tail end of grade school. Prior to that TV was just our antenna, and let me tell you, that was the crappest of shoots. At least 50% of the time there would be too much signal interference. We got the joy of picking between the channel with no sound, the channel with sound but no picture, or the channel with maybe 25% of each but we could KINDA detect something coherent in it. I’d wait all week for episodes of Dragonball Z to air at 6 AM on Saturday only to have my kid heart crushed by the entire episode being in varying states of chaotic viewability... not that things HAPPENED that much. You dang kids are spoiled with your DBZ Kai! (Shakes cane!)

 But then, satellite TV! My GOD it was amazing. Not only could we SEE AND HEAR THINGS BESIDES STATIC, we got a guide with a menu and everything so we could see upcoming shows! But then also, Cartoon Network... and Toonami... and DBZ EPISODES EVERY NIGHT HOLY FUUUUUCK also this other show called Gundam Wing or whatever I don’t think anyone paid any attention to that one.

...

(Discretely adjusts camera away from shelf full of Gundam models in the background)

Anyway another couple Cartoon Network/Toonami shows I remember actually watching for the first time was The Powerpuff Girls and Sailor Moon... but I watched them HESITANTLY, and in secret. We had two TVs set up and if mom and dad were watching something I didn’t want to watch I’d be fine going to the other side of the house to chill and watch the other connected set on a different channel. This was stress incarnate. I’d split my attention between watching the show at low volume and listening for footsteps getting even REMOTELY CLOSE so I could hit the previous channel button before they could hear what I was watching. There are grown adults who watch outright pornography at their workplace office with less caution than barely teen kid me watched perfectly harmless CARTOON SHOWS. I was thoroughly ashamed of watching these shows but in spite of this I watched them anyway and came to really like them, Powerpuff Girls in particular.

Now of course this was a big nothing burger to worry about, my parents wound up really liking Powerpuff Girls too, but this is a trend for me. I’m internally terrified of anyone in real life finding out I LIKE... well, anything. At some point when I was a kid it became cool to hate Power Rangers, and I didn’t hate Power Rangers, but if I ever said I didn’t hate Power Rangers I would get absolutely shit on for it. I took away the lesson that you shouldn’t outwardly LIKE THINGS.

Basically just Rainbow Dash realizing she likes to read Daring Do books and keeping it a secret with the same fervor a murderer would employ to hide a corpse, but it’s for DECADES instead of 22 minutes. Frankly, I still feel this way. All my shirts are monotone with no art or anything, and I even feel a slight cringe whenever I bring out my wallet to pay for stuff because my wallet has a Nuka-Cola logo on it. I go out of my way to make sure you know nothing concrete about my interests just by looking at me.

So then decades later I’m living on my own for the first real time with a job and everything and one of my WoW buddies keeps linking me stuff related to a MY LITTLE PONY show of all things. Eventually he gives me a link to watch the, then latest, episode called Call of the Cutie and I begrudgingly watch it. Then I say “...god damn it” and start looking for episode 1. I never would have done that if I were still living with my parents, no fucking WAY. Friendship is Magic was the first show I realized I could just WATCH without perpetual existential terror clawing at my brain because I was alone, and it was genuinely positive at a time in my life where I thought about suicide way too much without thinking it was a PROBLEM.

Then something WEIRD happened.

See somewhere in my mid teen years I made a personal vow to never write fanfiction again after writing a small chunk of fanfiction. My teen self thought that fanfiction was an uncreative endeavor, and that people who wrote it were foolishly wasting their time with something that could never legally make them any money when they could be writing original fiction instead, and potentially getting published! But for some reason, for the first time in like a DECADE, Friendship is Magic actually got me to read fanfiction from other people. Not just fanfiction, but cringy crossover fanfiction with genres that couldn’t POSSIBLY work for something like My Little Pony!

Then for SOME reason I got the idea to write a sequel to someone else’s crossover fanfiction and crossover MLP fanfiction now accounts for basically ALL of my online writing material what the fuck happened.

But yeah here we are a decade later. I still haven’t finished Reunion, I’ve taken the better part of three years to write what I have of this miniseries, dad’s dead, I had to move back in with my parents, my dogs are dead, grandma’s dead, Friendship is Magic is over and done with and I likely missed all opportunity to get a readership from my inaction and mental issues, most of my friends have little to no interest remaining for the show so the thing that got me friends in the first place is now ISOLATING ME due to my continued interest, I’ve been diagnosed with severe depressive disorder and since I lost my job I have no reasonable access to medication, a conversation with a friend recently made me consider that I might have undiagnosed ADHD but, again, no access to medical care, I’m trapped in a situation I see no way out of short of basically leaving my loved ones to die without my help, I have little to no privacy anymore so my introverted ass gets NO MENTAL REPRIEVE and it’s so... fucking... tiring.

I’m TIRED. I feel at 33 the way I assume someone would feel at 63 and I never ever ever see it getting any better than it was for me around the time season 5 was still airing.

About the only thing that feels good anymore is knowing how much weight I lost this year.

So yeah... I miss Friendship is Magic, sure, but I also just miss WHEN Friendship is Magic was airing, because it may likely end up being the best time in my entire life.

Sad. 

[searchingwardrobes]

My Problems with Once and Adoption/Foster Care

Ya’ll know I love this show, and I love the character of Emma Swan. BUT . . . their portrayal of adoption and foster care - particularly the adults who care for these children - leaves much to be desired. The thing that especially saddens me are those in the fandom who buy into their portrayal without question. I recently started another fic that throws adoption agencies under the bus. I don’t fully fault writer’s. After all, the source material is flawed, and we all want to write Emma in character. However, I just hope I can give you another perspective.

Why in the world am I qualified to talk about this? Well, let’s see . . .

* My cousin fostered to adopt all three of her children, two of them brothers.

* My sister pursued adoption for several years before deciding to embrace being, as she puts it, “the best aunt ever” instead.

* My best friend waited ten years to adopt her precious daughter. She went through the heartbreak of caring for her first child - a son - until his birth mother changed her mind at the last minute before the adoption was final. 

* We have a close family friend who is like an “extra grandma” to my kids and her adult daughter was adopted at birth. 

* My sister in law and her brother are adopted.

* My husband’s youngest brother and sister were officially adopted by his dad after he married their mom.

* Another close friend of mine adopted her twelve year old daughter from The Philippines two years ago. She was born with her mouth fused shut, no feet, and no hands. I tutored this little girl for a year, and I love her to death! 

* A friend of mine who is now in her sixties put her daughter up for adoption when she became pregnant at fourteen. The girl found her as an adult, and they have now forged a relationship.

* Another friend of mine is fostering her niece while her sister is in rehab. Right now, it looks like it may become permanent.

This isn’t even an exhaustive list of all the people I know who have fostered and adopted. These all span multiple locations as well.  I know it’s not the same as going through it myself, but all of the above people are dear to me and it hurts me deeply to see their way of life misrepresented. 

So here are just a few things that I want to point out concerning the plot on Once:

1. Domestic infant adoption in the US varies state to state, but it basically goes like this:

* If a birth mother decides to pursue an adoption while she is still pregnant, it is HER decision who gets her baby. If she goes through an agency (most common), she will get to look through profiles of potential adoptive parents. This is important to remember, PLEASE! The birth mother chooses the parents, not the other way around. If it’s a private adoption, she usually finds out about the parents through friends, family, or acquaintances, but the choice is still hers. Therefore, if Emma had decided to put Henry up for adoption before he was born, as the show implies, she would have been the one to pick Regina out as his adoptive mom. 

* The birth mother can decide to meet the birth parents or never meet them. The birth mother has the right to ask for financial assistance for everything from maternity clothes to counseling after she gives the baby up. The only thing illegal is the mother can’t “sell” her baby. In other words, she can’t make a profit off the adoption.

* The birth mother also gets to decide if it is a closed adoption, semi open, or completely open. Even in a closed adoption, the child has the right to the birth parent’s medical records when they come of age. Open adoptions are on a scale. Some birth mothers attend birthday parties and have regular visitation. Others let the child decide on contact when they reach a certain age. Sometimes they send letters each year on the child’s birthday. There are dozens of arrangements the birth mother can come to with the birth parents, and it all gets spelled out in a legal document.

* The only time an infant is placed in foster care is if the birth mother decides after birth that she doesn’t want the child. This is always temporary. Infants are either returned to the birth parents or are adopted. THERE IS NO GROWING UP FROM INFANCY IN FOSTER CARE! Now, a child can be taken away from their birth home at a later date due to neglect, drug abuse, etc. But no kid is born into foster care. There are thousands of parents in the US waiting for an infant to adopt, more than there are babies to adopt. That’s why it took my best friend TEN YEARS to find her daughter. That’s why when a baby was abandoned at the Atlanta airport a few years back, hundreds of parents called family services wanting the child. The boy had a home (which became permanent) within 48 hours. There is no way a healthy, beautiful baby girl like Emma would have been put in that group home like we saw in season two. At worst, she would have been placed with foster parents temporarily until the waiting period was over. (See below)

* After the infant is given over to the birth parents, there is a waiting period. During that time, the birth mother can change her mind. This varies wildly from state to state. Here in Georgia, it’s two weeks. In Pennsylvania, where my best friend lives, it is an entire month. On day 30, my best friend had to give her son back to his birth mother. I can not convey to you the pain she endured. Having said that, I’m glad birth mothers have the freedom to change their minds. I would never want to go back to the 1950s when babies were ripped from the arms of their devastated mothers who were given no say in the matter. On a side note, some adoptive parents opt to let the baby go to a temporary foster home until the waiting period is over so they don’t go through heartbreak if the birth mother changes her mind. My next door neighbors chose that route when they adopted their daughter, but remember in Georgia, that’s only two weeks. With my best friend, she felt a month was too long and she was willing to love on that child even if it was only for a month. 

* Even after the waiting period is over, the adoption is not official until the parents stand before a judge. Legally speaking, this is more binding than birthing a biological child. In other words, there is no going back. No returning the child. No exchanges. No refunds. Which brings me to . . . 

THE SWANS GIVING EMMA BACK: If Emma was legally adopted, this would be impossible. She states that she was three when it happened, making it even less credible to me. The only way this would make sense is if they were foster parents who never legally adopted her. It is true that foster parents sometimes decide to stop fostering when they have biological children, but adoption? Nope. (Not to mention the show later claimed that Emma chose the last name Swan herself when she was 9 or 10, so .  . . )

2. The cost of adoption:

* I don’t know where the idea comes from that it’s expensive for a birth mother to give her baby up for adoption. The adoptive parents pay for everything, as I stated above, or at the very least, they pay the medical bills. This doesn’t mean it’s EASY for a mother to give up her baby. Props to Jen for portraying Emma’s agony so well in season three! However, just because something is difficult doesn’t mean it isn’t the best decision for the CHILD. Obviously, my friend who is now in her sixties was unable to care for a child at 14, when she was a child herself! She was thrilled to hear her birth daughter tell her about the happy home she was raised in. Like Emma tells Henry, birth mother’s give their children up “to give them their best chance.” It is a selfless decision.

* It IS expensive to adopt - for the adoptive parents. There are legal fees, fees for home inspections (which expire and have to be redone yearly), travel fees, medical fees (not only maternity for the birth mother, but physicals for them, their children, and even their pets), and then additional fees if they are paying an agency. This is a simplified list, honestly. A friend of mine had a blog when she was adopting her sons from Ethiopia, and her list of paperwork that had to be filed was mind-boggling. 

RUMPLE ARRANGING HENRY’S ADOPTION: Considering all of the above, it had to be an illegal, black market adoption. That does exist  -however, it’s usually foreign, not domestic. Nine times out of ten, however, they just swindle couples who are desperate to adopt. But you know, Once writers . . .  

3. The reasons parents adopt or foster:

* Inability to conceive - this has to be number one. It’s the reason my best friend adopted, and it’s the reason my sister pursued it for so long. One sad thing? The most common reason for infertility is a disease called polycystic ovarian syndrome. One of the symptoms is weight gain, regardless of diet or exercise. Yet guess what many countries require for you to adopt? A “healthy” BMI. Meaning women with PCOS have an even harder time adopting.

* Compassion for orphans - This is why my friends adopted their daughter from the Philippines. They have two biological children, but when they thought about the millions of orphans in the world, they felt led to share their home and family with a child who did not have one. I know several people who foster for the same reason. They aren’t doing it for a “check from the government.” (And fyi, the government gives them most of that “money” in the form of food stamps and other public benefits that often only covers the bare minimum.)

* A need in their family - My friend who took in her niece had just come upon her “empty nest years,” but she couldn’t look the other way when a three year old little girl was being neglected because of her mother’s addictions. She and her husband were then back to pull ups (the mother hadn’t even attempted potty training), preschool cartoons, and teaching the ABCs. Their niece also had spent so much time in an exersaucer that her legs were crippled and she still couldn’t walk. They had to pay for braces on her legs and physical therapy. But how could they turn away their own flesh and blood? (By the way, she is now five years old and thriving!)

REASONS TO ADOPT ACCORDING TO ONCE: To fulfill your own needs and soothe your own loneliness. I’m not saying there aren’t awful, selfish people out there who adopt for that reason, but I ask you: How many people would be willing to go through ALL the difficulties I described above for selfish reasons? It just doesn’t make sense. And frankly, it is insulting to the many adoptive and foster parents that I know and love. 

4. Regardless of all of the above, adopted kids DO struggle at times.

* Mary Margaret tells Emma in season one that Henry has the same question that all adopted kids do: “why did my real parents give me up?” (I’m paraphrasing, but you remember this scene, I’m sure). This is actually true. Pretty much every family I know who has adopted, their kids have gone through this at some point. No matter how loving a home they are raised in, this question inevitably comes up. Some kids (or adults) meet their birth parents and find peace : they really weren’t able to take care of me, they really did want what was best for me, they did it because they loved me. For others, meeting their birth parents is painful. Yet none of that means the adoption wasn’t the best choice or that the adoptive parents were awful to the child (like Regina).

* Is the foster care system in the US flawed? Yes. There are too many cases and not enough social workers. Children fall through the cracks, some of them have tragically died. However, if you actually look into the facts in such cases, children are most often injured or killed not by foster parents, but by their birth parents. Usually it is the system’s failure to remove children from dangerous homes that is the problem, not cruel foster parents. There are also not enough foster parents for children who need homes, with older children being the hardest ones to place. Many of these kids are suffering from severe trauma and caring for them isn’t easy. Typically, the reason kids are bounced around in the system is because their parents keep regaining custody, loosing it again, regaining it again, etc, etc. By the time the parents either get their shit together or relinquish custody, the kid’s a preteen or teen. So my question for Once is:

WHY DID EMMA GET BOUNCED AROUND? She was put back in the system at three, but we don’t see her again until she’s eight or so at the movie theater. Do you really expect me to believe they couldn’t find a home for adorable, sweet, smart little three year old Emma? My sister would have adopted a little girl like that in a heartbeat! She wouldn’t have cared that she was three. We’re told that Emma kept running away, but at three? 

No way little Emma was incapable of being adopted. I just don’t buy it. Since adopted kids have issues even in loving homes, why couldn’t that have been the writer’s narrative? Couldn’t Emma’s adoptive parents simply died at some point? In my opinion, the whole thing was just lazy writing.

[theidntheego]

And it’s been 3 weeks! Baby S was born at 4.25am on the 8th Oct. The labour was induced, we checked into the hospital at 10am, with the hospital bag that was prepared weeks before. Prior the decision to induce was 3 sessions with Dr S, who stood in for Dr J. She had checked the cervix dilation, it was 1cm, and then 2cm and 2cm again, did the ultrasound to check on you baby. I rmb the second time she checked the dilation there was some blood thereafter when I was in the toilet which actually was the time that I thought to myself this is real. I rmb climbing up the plinth with the stomach, where wearing shoes was also quite a feat. Looking back, the pregnancy seemed like a long long time ago.

We had checked into the labour ward on the 7th, and the nurse gave me the rather hideous gown, telling me which side to don on, and showed me the way to the toilet, situated just next to a pregnant lady’s bed. I headed back to the labour suite and had a female doctor in scrubs check my dilation and then inserted smth without much information. I later asked the nurse who said that it was a syringe like material and for me to be careful if I were to go to the toilet in case it drops out, and apparently it’s white. I was like oh wow okay and when I had my poop, I was seriously staring at the toilet bowl and wondering like really? How would I be able to see amidst all that excretion…

After the induction I was brought up to the ward, and becos there wasn’t any private rooms available, it was a 4-bedded room. We had a good laugh at the situation bcos it was really a tight place and it just seemed funny becos if he had a choice this would never be what he saw himself at. We sat to have lunch and was later told that there was to be no visitor becos of the tightened restriction. And so he headed back and I took the time to walk around, drank from the vending machine with the exact change that I have and called grandma, attempted to read but couldn’t. Went for a shower before I couldn’t. Evening came and I was still feeling fine eating dinner, video called the niece and then at 8ish started having some pain. Wanted the CTG to check the contractions objectively but was told by the nurses that the two sets of machines are used. They checked on me again and the pain was on and off. The doctor checked my dilation and almost scoffed becos it was still 2cm, which doesn’t really explain for the bouts of pain that I have. The option was for me to go to Labour ward to have the stronger pain medications (pethidine and the laughing gas) but if I’m still not dilated more than 3cm in 4 hours then I would have to be pushed back to the general ward. I was stuck becos it also meant that if kw were to come to the Labour ward and if I was still not dilated he wouldn’t be able to stay. So I tolerated with the pain. And at one point I couldn’t and pressed the call bell. A pregnant nurse came and for some reason I just said I could do with some help to the toilet. And then it was a feat as I could barely get up from the toilet bowl. The pain was too much and I think the pregnant nurse also had a fright. Telling me not to walk by myself while she went on to get a commode. And when I returned to the bed the pain was so intense and I told the nurse that I cannot take it and wanted to go to the Labour ward for pain medications already. Vaguely I texted kw and told him to come now.

That was 9 plus pm. I rmb curling up, eyes tightly closed and in that pitch darkness, I was grasping tightly on the bed rail, being pushed into the lift and down doors of the Labour ward. I could hear the nurses conversation and I rmb thinking to myself if this is what people felt like when they are about to pass. So they transferred me to the bed, and I could barely make out the number of nurses that were around. One of them tried to teach me how to use the laughing gas, and all I can rmb was me holding the mask over my mouth and nose and gasping, and in a short while I could feel the relief and it felt very similar to being drunk. At one point the nurse was saying only use the gas when you are in pain! And I said it’s very painful. For which she replied, but there’s no contraction………… but at that point it seemed like the gas was all that I had to keep myself sane.

Before the gas they had asked me for the pain score and I hadn’t hesitate to say a 10/10. It got better and the nurse told me I can call my husband and also to tell him that I needed him to help me with calling the very kind anesthetist who had agreed to help with my epidural even though I have never met him before. Over the phone the nurse told mrwg who was driving, that I was in the Labour ward and also to contact Dr L when he has reached. I rmb saying no no call now. Thinking back I should have thought about my poor husband’s safety.

And so mrwg came and I was so glad to see him, having been more calmed by the pain medications. I think even then he was quite shocked to see me in that state. He fed me water held my hand and I was really comforted in his presence.

Shortly Dr L came and even tho he tried to explain the epidural risks and it’s effects it was all a blur. I only remb turning to my side.

The next few hours were much calmer as I started to find it more difficult to hold my legs with my hands. The nurse told me to breathe in, hold for long time and push without exhaling. And to repeat that three times.

[rogue-bard]

(1/2) My grandma has five birds (two Cockatoos, three African Greys). She keeps them in their cages 24/7 in the sunroom by the kitchen. I don't know how fragile bird respiratory systems are, but feathers/dust/ammonia are everywhere in there and I'm sure it's not good. Their water hardly gets changed- when it does it's gotten to the point of being brown with food/newspaper/feathers in it. They eat food that is really bad for them (high in sugar and probably sodium).

(2/2) The toys only get replaced when they’re years old and worn down to the point of being pieces. The birds never get attention, they’re never out of their cages, and they don’t have any stimulation except for the TV (what?). I don’t know how to help them because my grandparents and my siblings/I aren’t on good terms at the moment.

Golly, this turned out to be a looooong answer, so let me but a read-more here…

Now, you probably know this first bit, since you’re writing this ask in the first place, but just for the sake of being a bit more thorough, in case any uninformed bird-owner reads this and maybe has an epiphany:

(Let me just note that all sources I link here are pages that I just quickly googled, so I can’t judge their professionalism. However, the issues that I sourced with these links, are issues I know about from my avian vet and that can easily be found on the internet thousands of times. So I assume they’re somewhat current when it comes to our state of avian medic knowledge.)

Birds’ respiratory systems are not the sturdiest, as far as I know. Ammonia is definitely bad for them, and being kept near the kitchen isn’t great, either, as stuff like teflon being heated can be deadly to them.

The thing about the feathers and the dust, is that they are very bad for humans (but you’re right that too much isn’t good for birds, either!), as a family member of mine had to experience, and has to experience for the rest of her life.So maybe if your grandmother doesn’t have too much concern for the birds, as I sadly often find in older generations, maybe that will give her cause to think about the situation.

I obviously don’t have to tell you that the water situation is horrible, but it’s also less than ideal that these birds have access to newspaper (I assume as flooring of the cage). Now, I don’t know where you’re from and what the newspapers there are printed with, so the print might be toxic in high doses. However, google is telling me, that this shouldn’t be a problem anymore nowadays, and the last time I heard about that was during my childhood when my grandfather was breeding budgies, so that might be completely outdated.On the other hand, birds like to have litter (idk if that’s the right english word… bed? bedding?) to play in, and it has the additional benefit of soaking up fluids like spilled bathing water and poop, so that is more hygenic for both the birds and your grandmother’s lung.However, I’m not tooooo sure about this, since I can’t find any sources on the internet right now and this page even claims that paper is the better choice in these regards. I’m far from an expert, I just go by what my vet told me, which is the “litter”-kind of bedding (chipped wood for birds).

As for food - yeah. That’s not good either.

Being always kept in a cage isn’t… always… bad… and I hesitated a lot to write this. I think in my whole life I’ve seen two or three aviaries that are big enough for birds to exclusively live in. That cage would have to be huge, especially for so many birds.For african greys, apparently, that is more than 60x90x120 cm if these sources can be believed. Note that these pages do not say if that’s for one bird or a pair. I’ve never had african greys, so I don’t know if that size doesn’t almost double if you keep two of them (which, I assume since it goes for most birds, is a requirement because they are social animals).For cockatoos, I found the same size-requirements on the internet, right now. It bugs me a bit, because it seems pretty tiny for such huge birds. I own parrotlets and that’s pretty much their requirements. And they’re tiny tiny birds. But again: I’m not an expert.

And lastly, the toy and stimulation situation. At least they’re together, that’s a plus. But of course, having nothing to do and sitting in a cage all day, would make anyone depressed and develop bad behavioural patterns. I’ve seen an african grey go completely apathetic, I’ve seen one non-stop-spinning around it’s own axis for days, I’ve seen a lot of shit. It can get really bad.That isn’t to say that if a bird doesn’t exhibit these problem, it’s fine. I’m just saying, that’s how bad it can get. (What I’m trying to say is, just because hitting a child regularly is not as bad as beating it dead, a child that is being hit daily is far from fine.)There’s a lot of blogs about building foraging toys yourself, there’s a lot of places where you can buy them, and there’s a lot of guides on how to train a parrot, like you would train dogs, to give them something to do and exercise their brain and motorabilities. And as a plus, you have a bird that doesn’t do annoying behaviour (like land on posters *I’m not looking at you, Mealey, but I’m looking at you), and can do cool tricks! It’s a win-win!

Okay, tl,dr… now what you were actually asking. (Sorry, I’m like my old maths professor. You come to him to ask him about polynomial division and he starts by explaining you the complete probability theory…)

If you or someone you know is still visiting your grandparents now and then (maybe your parent that is their child?), you could maybe bring the birds new foraging toys, so they have at least stimulation. However, I think that’s the least of their problem. It’s something easy to do, though, and I don’t see what your grandmother could possibly have against new toys if they’re already there and she doesn’t have to do anything with them.

Of course, they could also change the water, while they’re at it, and maybe sneak in some actual parrot food for greys and cockatoos, and throw the sugar-stuff away. That’s assuming that they’re visiting daily, though.If they’re not, changing the food might still be an option, as with the toys: If they already bring it to your grandmother, and it’s paid for, I don’t see why she would have a problem with it, if someone explains to her that it’s healthier for the birds.

For the water, I have heard tale that water dispensers (they look something like this or this) keep the water “fresher” since there would be no poop/food/newpaper in it. It’s still important to change it everyday, but it might improve the situation a lot.(Please don’t buy the dispensers off the internet, except it’s a site that you trust and that says it’s specially for parrots. I’ve heard horror stories of lead-poisoning and whatnot from toys, water dispensers and food bowels from dubious sources. Go to a pet store and make sure the materials are listed on the packaging, and that they are safe materials!Please also make sure that they’re the right size for your birds. My parrotlets wouldn’t be able to drink from the dispensers that looks like the one bunnies have, and if the second type is too small for a bird’s beak, it obviously can’t drink from it either…)

The most obvious advice, of course, is to talk to your grandma or have someone who has a better relationship to her, talk to her about it. Maybe they can go to an avian vet with her (make an appointment for a consultation, the vet is probably just as happy to prevent further mistreatment as he’d be to treat it), and have a conversation about how to keep parrots, because if it’s coming from an authority on the field, it’s probably not brushed aside as easily as if it’s a family member.

And lastly, if the whole situation is too bad, and if nothing can be done about it, call animal protection.It’s harsh, but if it were a child, we’d call child protection too. They’re living beings, they feel pain, they feel suffer from illness, mental disorders and everything we do too, and they are even more helpless than a child that can talk (and a child is already absolutely helpless, don’t get me wrong).Maybe, your grandmother doesn’t even want them around anymore. African greys and cockatoos get so old, who knows how long she’s had them? Maybe she changed her mind, maybe the responsibility has gotten to much, and she’s relieved to have them out of the house (also a thing someone should talk to her about, probably). Recently, someone called animal protection for the dog of our neighbours (wasn’t us; to our knowledge, that dog was treated fine, and I still kinda believe that since I’ve never had any reason to believe otherwise, when I saw him), and apparently/allegedly, instead of proving (or even trying to) that the dog is being treated right, they just let them take him, because they were looking to sell him anyway. Maybe it’s kinda the same situation for your grandmother…

I hope that helped and I hope that big wall of text didn’t overwhelm you!

Lastly: Again again, I’m absolutely no expert on bird keeping. I have two parrotlets, that’s all. So if anyone reads this and knows something I wrote to be false, please reblog or message me to let me know (preferably with sources so I know you’re not a troll) so I can change it!

[asinnerslife]

A SINNERS TESTIMONY     I gambled my life with  quick fixes I worshiped what the world  can offer an grew accepting to its wrongful ways and  eventually became empty/purpose  less Why is it the things we buy can never give us true contentment?  Why  the careers we put our lives into never seem to fulfill our true  purpose of life? Why friends you trust most were  never truly your friends? Why  do we self medicate through drugs Alcohol and  material things?  and all the others ways  of escaping the truth? You ask yourself why because the answer  is never clear, never there  and never absolute. But the truth is drowned out by excuses, self pity, and  denial. Our weaknesses enslave us to a troubled mind and an empty heart. I know  this well because it comes from not my own understanding but the  understanding Christ has given me. I also know this  well because it was a way I  choose to live, who I became, my faulted purpose. Throughout my life, even as a  child, I took refuge upon my weaknesses. I didn’t feel  like going to school, so I  didn’t do it. I didn’t feel like going to bed, so I stayed up. I didn’t feel  like taking responsibility so I didn’t . there was not structure going up  an This is how I  justified my actions, and my coping mechanisms later down the road…    MY  CHILDHOOD     as far back as i can  remember i grew up in a house along side my nan my dads mother  me and her were close we  used to do everything together she used to always take me places and buy me  things anything i needed i  would just go next store an ask and 9 times out of 10 she would hand it to me or  give me the money for it.. growing  up i was mostly at her house and playing baseball on a team i was always playing  sports with the guys and sleeping over there  house and just doing guy things even though i was a girl i never grew up around  girls or really had girls that were friends,  as years passed my nan she used to be a worry bug i remember every night i slept  over she would always look out her window  because she didn’t want something to happen she was very cautious and always watched me threw the window when i played outside with the boys  and she would always yell if she lost sight of me she would yell for me and i  would always have to worry about her watching me and me and  my bestfriend Sal we would be out until the street lights came on and she would  be out there yelling as soon as it got dark nothing would get  by her ..    SCHOOL  LIFE from kinder care that  little red school house i always remembered going to lol funny how you can  remember things and the simple things you cant  remember but my schooling i never  really paid attention i was everywhere and as i grew older the school work became  harder and i really didn’t have any help with my  homework had my nan maybe my  parents helped me out with it but mostly i remember i had a tutor and that stage  of my life is pretty blurry to remember …but entering   high school that year of 7th grade  became really bad it was from 7-12 grade at cocoa and it was a mix of kids and  of course i fell with some bad people and i started fighting  an talking back to the  teachers and for that school year i basically sat more in the police officers  office and in iss then i did in the classroom office ripole was her  name she would always have to  come get me from class because i would act out or not listen… in school not  sure what school i was at but i was around 15 i got a random call for  me to come to the office  and my mom was there and the look on her face was just spooked like i knew  something was wrong and she held back tears from me and i was holding my slip to  go home and she told me in  the van that my nan was in the hospital and she wasn’t sure if she would make it  or not…. my heart sunk i didnt know why something could happen to  her i never knew anything  could happen to us i was so naive to the fact we could die and in the van on the  way to the hospital a country song came on by mark wills one more day with you..  it spoke about how we wish to have one more day with our loved ones who  passed an etc…. well on top of that and having issues in school they told my  mom to basically pull me out beforethey expell me and i  couldn’t go to any school in the county so she took me out       THE BEGINING TO PROBLEMS   My nan passed away  4-8-02 of a heart attack/ heart problems i lost someone who used to watch over  me 24/7 even when we was asleep she would have a light on or something on so she  could always see what was going on..  i knew she had bad heart burn but she would always just say she had bad acid she  wouldn’t tell me much more but after her passing i took a down hill spiral i got  a dui at age 15i got arrested but let  go to my sister i spent over 10k on probation and classes to take and i lost my  license over 5 yrs because the dui and driving without no license  that was just the  beginning to my problems . .i had curfew in the county i was in and i used to  always get picked up and taken home by the   police and they would always tell me Ms. Calvert your young we don’t want to see  you in jail when your older you need to start listening or this will be your  life. Of course i ignored all that who cared right? all i  could see and remember is how i last looked at my nan before the night she  passed away she looked at me and smiled her smirk and i just looked at her evil  and looked down an just wanted to know why she was smiling in  that time … my younger days i spent in a daze i wasted away in a trap the  devil set for me ..after my dui i was always in the ” hood” i thought that was  the cool place to be at 15yrs old running the streets  smoking drinking nothing could phase me right.. wrong… alcohol is truly the  essence of evil the devil sets upon the weak.. in my eyes…so after the passing  of my nan i got a tattoo on my forearm of praying hands with faith  written. Because she used to read me some of her black bible before bed but i  wouldn’t pay much mind to it     MY ADULT  LIFE from 18yrs old till  current problems just stacked  with more problems and the only people i had and felt safe to talk to was my  friends because god forbid i tell my dad or someone anything we didn’t have that  closeness my sister could open up more with them not me i  felt because every time something arises it was me getting yelled out for  something so i shut off that communication and seeked it else were… i continued  to keep partying i used to go out every tue and Thursday for free drinks  and yes i would drink underage because i had older friends that snuck me  drinks..i used to spend weekends and weeks in Miami and Miami beach i lost my  job because partying became my job the person i was staying with was a big  drug dealer and we used to go to the best clubs there in hit vip and she would  always buy me drinks and anything i wanted i saw so many walks of life … at  one point i saw how bad drugs can take someone i was around them so i  continued that..i got in some trouble for driving with a suspended again and had  to do community service at a church… they would judge me of course because  they knew why i was there and i remember always  wondering why people go to church  just to judge like i never had god in my life so i didn't understand any of that  …so after that i continued and soon after that things become bad i was kind of  locked up if you want to say as my grandpa was in the hospital dying  literally and my probation officer knew i drove to my probation and she was  calling the cops on me so the held me and i called my mom as she was on her way  to the hospital to come get me because i needed to say  goodbye to my papi i couldn’t not  be there and i had to drive to probation at that time i had no other choice …  so i got out in time and that day he passed away and from my nan i never had a  chance to say good bye so i held my papi hand in the room by myself as he was   basically no breathing he was breathing every so often and i just held he’s hand  and told him i love him and I’m sorry and that i love my nan and they just told  me to tell her goodbye to so that’s what i did and i just couldn’t  understand things that was happening …then of course i went back to the same  things i was doing for years     THE  CHANGE years passed then my  grandma she kept our family together she never judge she was a believer she was  fine before her surgery after her surgery things went down hill with her  health she had cancer and she  over months you just saw such a lovely strong women who tried to be strong for  others start not being strong anymore.. she would always try and tell me to stop  drinking to stop worrying to stop what i was doing because she cared  but i couldnt i didnt know how but that was her wish for me to stop drinking an  smoking an running my life and worrying about others in the family that didn’t  love me she always said you have one that loves you and that’s enough you  cant help what others say about you the heck with am.. i always wished to be as  strong as her… she eventually passed away and that broke my heart and broke my  family as well we went to being close to not even talking now…  my mom took it hard so after her passing my parents decided to sell out house in Florida and we moved in 2016 to VA to start life over because Florida we were no  longer our happy place…. i was the 1st to get a job when we moved here  i told myself once i moved ima stop drinking whelp i started drinking daily again  and hanging out with a crowd up here that sold drugs and that was like my old  friends in Florida… after a year passed we were looking to move from an  apartment to a house/ trailer so we found one we liked online we called it ended  up being owned by a pastor i automatically was like nope.. but mom and dad  called and me an mom went and looked at it ..it was  nice I  wont lie but my  thoughts was like there going to judge me there going to say something if we do  get it about my drinking and smoking an etc… time passed we moved in nothing  was said they mentioned church there were extremely nice  but i was like ok but in back of my mind i was curious  but didn’t act on it.. months passed my dad and mom went they liked it they  invited me and i said no… then i saw a change in them and i was curious but i  was like good for them but imma continue to drink well a festival was  going on at church and the pastor was mowing the lawn outside our house an  caught me outside and just said hello and we got to talking and he invited me   and i said ok i would think about it because saying no to a  pastor lol i felt i couldn’t  do.. for some reason deep inside me it was wrong… well i got courage up and  went the next day or two i think it was and i went and just as i was getting  threw the morning service overwhelmed what people thought of  me nobody judged me …they  did an alter call and the pastor explained it because i didn’t know what a alter  call was i knew what last call was though but not no alter call… so once he  asked if anyone would like to come confess to the  lord there sins and etc. i  felt this feeling inside me to go like this inner voice im like……oh no in my  mind lol well i start moving and next thing you know i start walking down the  church isle in shame i had piercings in my nose in my  lip and in my eyebrows and i  was for sure someone was thinking something… but i just got to what they  called the alter and i felt this feeling and i just broke down and i just  started to cry and say sorry and please forgive me for  sinning and etc. and from that  moment i left from that alter my nose ring an lip ring came out and i finished  service and from that point on i left happy i left with joy…i couldn’t explain  it i was scared but felt different ….i felt trapped in the  devils trap for so long i felt i finally got broke free. Alcohol and drugs are  the essence of evil they supply you with a quick control but its false it lies  you  making you believe there is no way out making  you think the only way to  happiness in a broken world is through an alternate more enhanced reality those  days i spent in a daze i no longer can get back but the blood of Jesus redeemed  me and forgave me for my sins and now all that time  wastedi feel i owe it to the  lord.. yes I’m not perfect i have scares from the past but ive been sober for  8months i couldn’t do that you cant stay sober without the lords help. No  matter how far gone we think we’ve become there’s not a lost soul out there who can’t be saved by Jesus. No  matter how much we try to attain happiness nothing will give you absolute  happiness other then Jesus If your one of those people  who believes they don’t want  to be restrained to the laws of god, your only restraining yourself with a lie  from the devil. You will never be walking in truth not until you meet the  absolute truth. Since I’ve been following the lord my  problems didn’t disappear I’m still fighting a battle but I’m not alone..im fighting a spiritual warfare  because for so many years the devil had control of me he controlled me at my  weakest moments and for me to give myself to the lord and  still fight the good fight . i  feel soon the battle will be over because i rather fight the good fight then  fighting a fight with the devil that just hurts me more… sin is expensive and  since i was in so much sin i can now understand the  price of sin and what it cost  but with god on myside and friends that will pray with me and help me threw this  battle i believe in victory so if anyone else can get anything from this just  know there is a god and he loves us all no matter what we done in the dark  he is our light and will bring to light our darkest moments so we can stand in  faith and have the strength to pull others out the fiery pit the world gets us  sunk in 

[jpy693en-blog]

Insurance and cost difference?

Insurance and cost difference?

Well, I will be turning 17 this summer in June and I really wanted to get a mustang as my first car either between the beginning of summer and the end or in between now and my first semester of my junior year. What s the difference between the insurance and how much a standard cost would be for an 05-08 v6 and v8 mustang? And would this be a good first car for a beginner? The ways I wanted to save up was to get a job first and start selling goods I make with someone and also mowing yards for 25$. Are there any other ways?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :COVERAGEQUOTES.NET

SOURCES:

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[craftycreationworld-blog]

What can I say that hasn’t been said and still make it relevant.  Maybe I have and maybe I haven’t but, I am going to talk about my mom’s anorexia.

While she and I did not share the same experiences and her battles began long before I was ever born, I was in the front lines witnessing what she was doing most of the time.  She admitted to me when she was sick her battles with anorexia began when she was in elementary school.  She had been horrifically abused by multiple people.  Her own mom put her on diet pills and she wasn’t even fat.  When she died she had just missed her 65th birthday.  Now, I am not saying she did not have good years.  Unfortunately her demons stayed with her throughout her life.  At times more controlled than others but, the demons were there.

My mom was very smart.  She excelled in nursing school.  However that inclination to have to be perfect was her downfall.  Her struggles were not reflected in her grades.  My mom kept her room-mate up at night by wearing one of the suits that make you sweat and exercising all night long.  It got to the point where my mom’s room mate needed to say something for her own sanity.  My mom was asked to leave the nursing school at that time.  Truthfully she was so small and sickly looking, she looked worse than the patients the student nurses took care during clinical.  The nursing school said mom was welcomed to come back when her health returned.  My grandma in the meantime took care of her at home giving her these high calorie shakes.  I have no idea if any other outside intervention took place.  Either way when my mom was doing better, she chose not to.  As a result, my mom started working at Ohio Bell where she later met my dad.

Even if mom was doing well weight wise, mentally things weighed on her.  When she married my dad, the ceremony was simple and no pictures were taken.  My mom would not allow them.  She absolutely hated her picture being taken.  So much so that I was given instruction years later when she was dying not to include a picture in her obituary or I would be haunted and not in a good way.

I was born three years after my parents married.  She was thrilled to have me but, unfortunately the parenting skills she learned from my grandma were not the best.  I am not saying she did not love me.  She loved me immensely.  I understand why things happened and I respect and love my mom.  Yes, some things happened that should not have happened.  However, my mom was so much more than that and I focus on the beauty of her.  My mom gave me so many wonderful things and many of them are not material which is even better.

When I was about two years old or so, my mom was pregnant with her second child.  I have no memory of this.  Partly because I was so young and partly because I was battling some medical issues of my own.  My mom struggled with gaining weight during her second pregnancy.  When my mom was considered at term, she was told by her doctor her baby was not going to make it.  My younger sister had spinal bifida so bad she only had half a brain.  The medical staff induced my mom and she had to endure the entire labor process.  That had to have been hell.  On the one hand you know what the doctor said, on the other hand you are praying God steps in with a miracle.  From what I was told, my sister took two breaths and died.  My mom did not get her miracle.  During that same hospital stay, my mom had her tubes tied.

Throughout the years I remember glimpses of some of my mom’s unhealthy habits.  She definitely cleaned more than what was necessary.  She abused laxatives and water pills.  I remember she always had ex lax on hand.  I was later told by my aunt I got caught hoarding food under my bed.  I honestly don’t know why and I have no memory of this.  At the time, I was not battling a weight problem.  Maybe as a child I could sense my mom’s battles.  I really do not know.  At one point mom would change some of our eating habits.  We would have mock beef casseroles.  In other words turkey.

Then my grandpa got sick with lung cancer.  By the time they caught the cancer, it was pretty advanced.  He still underwent treatment, but he lost his battle and passed away when I was in 8th grade.  Then when my grandma came to live with us.  I am sure the stress of it all did not help.  My mom’s anorexia reared its head.  I remember one time saying to my dad, I think mom had a problem.  He tried to tell me he had a handle on it.  I knew he was full of it but, I wasn’t about to tell him that.  At some point my mom was hospitalized for dehydration.  She was basically told she had to go to rehab.

I am not sure how many times mom was in therapy or rehab.  I know she was not a fan of any of it and had a strong distrust later in life.  Eventually my parents divorced.  It was not good for her.  There no longer was someone to have her back whether she liked it or not.  I could only do so much.  I was only allowed to do so much.

When my mom left Toledo in hopes that another town would give her a fresh start, she was maybe 110 pounds.  She moved about two to two and half hours away.  She loved the little town.  Sometimes she would visit.  Even though she complained, she did not always like getting visits.  One time when she was in town staying with me and sleeping on my love seat, the love seat seemed to dwarf her tiny body.  My mom was getting so small, I was almost afraid to hug her.  She would keep us from visiting her I later learned after my mom had an accident or had a fall.  My mom kept a lot from us.

When the doctors came in to tell her how extensive her cancer was, they were surprised the stomach cancer hadn’t been caught sooner.  The doctors asked her if she had any pain over the past year.  She replied “of course, I just ignored it”.  That’s how my mom was.  I knew something was wrong one day when I was talking to her on the phone.  She always complained about being too full to eat.  This time she complained of difficulty swallowing.  That was new.  I told my mom to call the doctor and let them know right away.  I couldn’t drive down there since I had just finished a 12 hour shift and never would have made it safely.  Mom contacted the doctors and the testing schedule began. By the time she had her operation, the cancer took over her entire stomach and the abdominal wall.  My mom was dying.

Ironically when I was begging my mom to turn off the tube feed months later since it wasn’t doing her any good.  Hardly any of it was able to get past her stomach and nourish her body, she told me, “I am afraid people will think I am starving myself to death”.  Yea, the irony was not lost on me either.  Mom finally agreed to stopping the tube feed and taking something for the pain.  She passed away the next morning.  As much as I miss her, I am happy she is finally free of her demons.  My mom as a beautiful tragedy.  She was truly and angel.

–Sarah Cobble

  Anorexia and my mom What can I say that hasn't been said and still make it relevant.  Maybe I have and maybe I haven't but, I am going to talk about my mom's anorexia.