#at the same time her design is very in keeping with engage's philosophy in general

[manybcdthings]

FELIX RANSTRÖM — HEADCANONS

QUIRKS, HABITS AND MEMORIES

One of the few and only gifts Felix has received from Olaf is an ornate intricately designed silver lighter, it was also a talisman of the older witch. It used to be the only one Felix used, but since becoming a werewolf it is now buried at the bottom of a drawer.

Has a habit of running his hand through his hair when stressed, in thought or problem solving. Also has the same stubborn strand of hair that always falls in his face.

Has kept a journal for years but has never told anyone, he also sketches in it with fine line black ball point but they're mainly doodles. He wrote about his attack and the emotions that followed the loss of his magic and hasn't touched the journal since.

Bites the inside of his cheek when he tries to suppress a sarcastic comment at an inappropriate time, but it usually finds a way to be said anyways.

Wears a black leather woven bracelet that Isabella gave him, never takes it off.

Always stands straight and in an at ease position or with his hands in his pockets. However, he slouches frequently whenever he's sat down and often stretches dramatically once he realizes like literally arms shooting up above his head with a groan as if he's 90 years old.

Has a somewhat impressive collection of vinyl records but he doesn't consider it a hobby, there's some he's never even listened to.

Is partial to chewing gum, especially when he's trying to quit smoking.

Has a PhD in philosophy but it's never been considered impressive or useful in his family so Felix himself even forgets he earned it.

Delayed working at Zenith by traveling and enrolling in universities in Europe, so he has a bunch of degrees none of which he uses.

Prefers dim lighting. Aside from the natural light in his apartment, there's only mood lighting that happens as soon as the sun goes down.

Has a photographic memory but enjoys the fact he's kept this clueless joke going for years where he claims he can't remember any shared memories.

Has always pulled off elaborate pranks during any first dates Oskar has with people, the only time he didn't is when Oskar began dating Thea because he liked her.

Despite having a hedonistic approach to life for a number of years, he inherently disagrees with hedonism philosophy. He also has never liked casual hook ups or meaningless relationships, always taking his romantic interests seriously. Even if they usually hit the one year mark and dwindled. Some exes or previous love interests might describe him as intense, or that he might have moved too quickly.

In the same token as above, he has already bought an engagement ring for Isabella within months of them first dating until realizing that grand gestures and money was the last thing she cared about. So it's been hidden away and decided to not be the one.

Keeps his living space meticulously clean, and his general surroundings too. Very common to see him tucking a few stray chairs under tables at the institute.

Has a habit of standing in doorways and leaning on the frame or holding the top of them, something he's done as soon as he realized he was tall

Actually has a soft spot for animals and nature, helped Tarquin find foster homes for stray dogs in Romania for a few weeks.

Hums tunelessly when he's concentrating and taps his foot, impatient with his own thoughts.

[sukimas]

veyle has my favorite design in engage by such a long shot that i almost have to wonder if someone else did the character design for her. or if mika was possessed

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Hot takes about Severus Snape are a wierdly decent glimpse into how a person with progressive values analyses things. Literally every time someone talks about Snape, it’s like this tiny window into how one-dimentionally people actually think.

Recently saw a twitter post that was a fantastic example. Here’s how it goes (paraphrasing):

Person A:“Snape is POC and Queer coded, that’s why you guy’s hate him uwu lol.”

Person B: “Actually I hate him because he was mean and abusive to children under his care uwu but go off I guess lol”

Both of these takes are designed to be dramatic and/or reactionary. They each use partial truths to paint very broad strokes. These are get-em-in-one-hit quips. This is virtue signalling, if you’ll excuse that loaded phrase. Nobody had a substantial conversation, but now everyone who sees their statement knows the high ground they took.

At least a hundred other people chimed in to add their own little quippy hot takes into play, none of which add anything significant, but clearly made everyone feel very highly of themselves.

So many layers of nuance and complex analysis is completely lost in this kind of discussion. On tumblr, you get more of this kind of bullshit, but you don’t have a word count limit, so you guys just spew endless mountains of weak overblown evidence backing up your bullshit arguments, none of which was really about engaging in a real conversation anyway.

Here’s the thing about Snape.

He is a childhood domestic abuse victim. His abuser is a muggle.

He becomes a student at a magical school that takes him away from his abuser and immediately instills in him the idea that being a part of this magical world is a badge of self-worth, empowerment, and provides safety and security - provided that he keeps in line.

There is a war is being waged in that world over his right to exist (he is a half blood).

He is a marginalized person within the context of the narrative, forced to constantly be in the same living space as the children of his own oppressors who are being groomed and recruited into a hate group militia (the pureblood slytherins). They are in turn trying to do the same to him.

He is marginalized person bullied by children who are also part of his oppressor group, but who have “more liberal” leanings and aren’t direct about why he’s being targeted (the mauraders are all purebloods, Sirius, who was the worst offender, was raised in a bigoted household, the same one that produced Bellatrix.).

He had a crush on a girl who is a muggleborn, and therefore she is considered even lesser than him and carries a stigma to those who associate with her. That girl was his only real friend. In his entire life.

For both Snape and Lily, allying themselves to a pureblood clique within their own houses would be a great way of shielding themselves from a measure of the bigotry they were probably facing. There would have been obvious pressure from those cliques to disconnect with one and other.

Every other person who associates with Snape in his adulthood carries some sort of sociopolitical or workplace (or hate cult) baggage with their association. Some of them will physically harm and/or kill him if he steps out of line. He hasn’t at any point had the right environment to heal and adjust from these childhood experiences. Even his relationship with Dumbledore is charged with constant baggage, including the purebloods who almost killed him during their bullying getting a slap on the wrist, the werewolf that almost killed him as a child being placed in an authority position over new children, etc. Dumbledore is canonically manipulative no matter his good qualities, and he has literally been manipulating Snape for years in order to cultivate a necessary asset in the war.

He is a person who is not in the stable mental state necessary to be teaching children, whom has been forced to teach children. While also playing the role of double agent against the hate group militia, the one that will literally torture you for mistakes or backtalk or just for fun. The one that will torture and kill him if he makes one wrong move.

Is the math clicking yet? From all of this, it’s not difficult to see how everything shitty about Snape was cultivated for him by his environment. Snape was not given great options. Snape made amazingly awful choices, and also some amazingly difficult, courageous ones. Snape was ultimately a human who had an extremely bad life, in which his options were incredibly grim and limited.

In fact, pretty much every point people make about how shitty Snape is as a person makes 100% logical sense as something that would emerge from how he was treated. Some if it he’s kind of right about, some of it is the inevitable reality of suffering, and some of it is part of the cycle of abuse and harm.

Even Snape’s emotional obsession with Lily makes logical sense when you have the perspective that he literally has no substantial positive experiences with other human beings that we know of, and he has an extreme, soul destroying guilt complex over her death. Calling him an Incel mysoginist nice guy projects a real-world political ideology and behavior that does not really apply to the context of what happened to him and her.

Even Snape’s specific little acts of cruelty to certain students is a reflection of his own life experiences. He identifies with Neville; more specifically, he identifies his own percieved emotional weaknesses in his childhood in Neville. There’s a very sad reason there why he feels the urge to be so harsh.

Snape very clearly hates himself, in a world where everyone else hates him, too. Imagine that, for a second. Imagine total internal and external hatred, an yearning for just a little bit of true connection. For years. Imagine then also trying to save that world, even if it’s motivated by guilt. Even if nobody ever knows you did it and you expect to die a miserable death alone.

There are more elements here to consider, including the way Rowling described his looks (there may be something in there re: ugliness and swarthy stereotyping). These are just the things that stand out the most prominently to me.

J.K. Rowling is clearly also not reliable as an imparter of moral or sociopolitical philosophies. I don’t feel that her grasp of minority experiences is a solid one, considering how she picks and chooses who is acceptable and who is a threat.

All of that said, this is a logically consistent character arc. Within the context of his narrative, Snape is a marginalized person with severe PTSD and emotional instability issues who has absolutely no room available to him for self-improvement or healing, and never really has. And yes, he’s also mean, and caustic, and verbally abusive to the students. He’s also a completey miserable, lonely person.

There are elements in his character arc that mirror real world experiences quite well. If nothing else, Rowling is enough of an emotional adult to recognise these kinds of things and portray something that feels authentic.

In my opinion, it’s not appropriate to whittle all this down by comparing him directly to the real world experiences of marginalized groups - at least if you are not a part of the group you are comparing him to. There have been many individuals who have compared his arc to their own personal experiences of marginalization, and that is valid. But generally speaking, comparing a white straight dude to people who are not that can often be pretty offensive. This is not a valuable way to discuss either subject.

Also, I believe that while it’s perfectly okay to not like Snape as a character, many of the people who act like Person B are carrying Harry’s childhood POV about Snape in their hearts well into their own adulthood. And if nothing else, Rowling was attempting to say something here about how our perspectives (should) grow and change as we emotionally mature.  She doesn’t have to be a good person herself to have expressed something true about the world in this instance, and since this story is a part of our popular culture, people have a right to feel whatever way they do about this story and it’s characters.

The complexity of this particular snapshot of fictionalized marginalization, and what it reveals about the human experience, cannot be reduced down to “he’s an abuser so he’s not worth anyone’s time/you are bad for liking him.”

And to be honest, I think that it reveals a lot about many of us in progressive spaces, particularly those of us who less marginalized but very loud about our values, that we refuse to engage with these complexities in leu of totally condemning him. Particularly because a lot of the elements I listed above are indeed reflected in real world examples of people who have experienced marginalization and thus had to deal with the resulting emotional damage, an mental illness, and behavior troubles, and bad decisions. Our inability to address the full scope of this may be a good reflection of how we are handling the complexity of real world examples.

Real people are not perfect angels in their victimhood. They are just humans who are victims, and we all have the capacity to be cruel and abusive in a world where we have been given cruelty and abuse. This is just a part of existing. If you cannot sympathise with that, or at least grasp it and aknowledge it and respect the people who are emotionally drawn to a character who refects that, then you may be telling on yourself to be honest.

To be honest, this is especially true if you hate Snape but just really, really love the Mauraduers. You have a right to those feelings, but if you are moralizing this and judging others for liking Snape, you’ve confessed to something about how you’ve mentally constructed your personal values in a way I don’t think you’ve fully grasped yet.

I have a hard time imagining a mindset where a story like Snape’s does not move one to empathy and vicarious grief, if I’m honest. I feel like some people really just cannot be bothered to imagine themselves in other people’s shoes, feeling what they feel and living like they live. I struggle to trust the social politics of people who show these kinds of colors, tbh.

But maybe that’s just me.

[cynicaldesire]

So what are your thoughts on season 4? Lay them on me!

My husband and I binged the entire Season 4 over the course of the weekend. We watched 6 episodes, then the last 4. We had a lot of feelings on it for a lot of reasons, mostly because I’m a writer, my husband is an artist, and we’re both critics because we have created work in the past.

My husband’s final rating was 6/10, wouldn’t watch it again but he wanted to give credit to the animators and staff that worked on it. I said I would give it a 4/10. It was so... disappointing. I’m gonna go on a bunch of rants about why I was displeased, so if you want to maintain your positive experience, you don’t have to continue.

So, before I get into the writing, I just want to point out that the sound design, music, and voice acting were all either poorly mixed because of COVID in-home booths or just shitty. The music didn’t pop off with any homages to actual game music and I couldn’t hear it most of the time. The voice acting of most of the cast was pretty great, but I hate Alucard’s voice. The murmuring breathy whispers of most of the cast is just annoying to me, but that’s a personal preference, I know. But a lot of other things didn’t have proper weight or punch to match what was happening.

The animation was also wildly inconsistent. My husband pointed out, again, COVID, so the animators were all probably working from home on deadlines and the Art Director, the guy meant to keep all the art on-model and consistent, probably wasn’t available to check work and send it back to the animators for changes. Or, there wasn’t sufficient time between when the animators sent there work in for changes to be requested. Don’t get me wrong, like with the voice cast, some of the animation was fucking sick, but it was just weighed down by all the poorly masked 3D shortcuts or off-model art.

(One of the things I kept thinking of when gore would happen was the Mortal Kombat devs that got PTSD from having to look at images of gore for the Fatalities. And I was like this isn’t worth all that. Fuck.)

Greta was fine, but she seemed flat. I’ve made her character before and been disappointed in how cool and nonchalant she is. She seems to be too good and relaxed at everything going on. That might’ve been the voice actor, but honestly? She fell flat for me. I didn’t not like her, she just didn’t feel very... well written? Like I said, she reminded me very much of a character I would make at first pass. And while I don’t mind or disagree with the choice to make her a love interest or even a close friend of Alucard, there was not enough buildup for it. Probably because she felt so flat to me.

Overall, on the writing front, I will say that it felt very... first draft. Like no one had an opportunity to look it over and say “Maybe don’t give Saint Germain’s whole motivation and backstory in episode 3?” Or not telegraphing the Death inclusion, or like... There’s so much that was just so poorly handled to me. There’s so many ways I personally would have done it differently or how it could’ve been handled better. There were so many characters that just stated their motivations and repeated them over and over again.

Isaac: ends last season hating humanity and having no reason to challenge that belief. Hates Hector for betraying Dracula. Full of hate and rage. This season: Opens with all his Night Creatures repairing a city, earing berries, and completely at peace with his past and his life. Flyseyes is there for ONE scene and never heard from again. And Isaac literally goes from that to invading Carmilla’s castle to DISAPPEARING. WHY?

The sequence with Isaac invading Carmilla’s castle was hilarious, too. Who the fuck is the hot demon? Some demon from the Wiki. Whomst were the fuckin human blokes with crossbows? Literally just human blokes with crossbows that they hired from a town somewhere else because apparently they didn’t have enough forces??????? The ring Hector ends up cutting off is never actually shown to force him to do something against his will? The fucking slave ring is also openly displayed in a bunch of other places and never utilized. It’s a useless McGuffin.

Carmilla descended into madness, or progressed through her logical steps violently due to solitude? And then when Lenore asks her what her motivations are, Carmilla tries to be coy and not answer the question so they end up having the same dialogue like 4 times? Lenore is somehow SURPRISED? Like, all of these people were human at some point, and that shit is never addressed, or if it is, it’s not remembered.

Hector was also here. He made a night creature, helped Isaac kill Carmilla - why did she explode so violently? - and then chilled in the castle the rest of the time. Like, nothing bad happened to him other than his finger. Which, show his hand every time he’s on screen, remind the audience of his injury. Isn’t it cool and edgy and shocking?

Saint Germain being just a shitty carnal entity was boring. He had a girlfriend he wanted to save so he could get laid, SNORE. When they showed her, she looked like Maria from Symphony of the Night, which has an ending that heavily implies her and Alucard hook up, so I was irritated that they coopted her appearance for this woman with no speaking lines that led Saint Germain to the Infinite Corridor.

Like, everything around Saint Germain’s story was pretty cool. If they hadn’t shown up literally in episode 3 through a sudden flashback his story and his motivations and also he’s the villain, the mystery of what he was doing was interesting. And for it to all just be told to us upfront? And then he just fucking died?

I had no fucks to give for Varney/Death. Death is not mentioned at any point before this season, he shows up seemingly randomly at the end as the Big Bad, and he’s just a big skeleton asshole. Ratko was at least a little interesting, but also wtf was he there for?

I also didn’t much care for Zamfir. I felt like there should’ve been two characters in her place. If one of them was crazy and the other was following their orders without knowing they were crazy? Cool. If she was crazy and didn’t ACKNOWLEDGE she was crazy? Better than what we got. The knights and the Underground Court and all the shit with Targoviste? Boring. Because, specifically, it demands a lot of suspension of disbelief that I didn’t have at that point.

Who the fuck was Dragan? What were all the monsters attacking the castle? Awful convenient for Alucard to have a shield now. He also had a bunch of skill from the SotN game, like the wolf form and the winged cape. Why did that one vampire have big bat wings and never again? Why did Varney call like literally everybody on the mirror phones? Why did he know to do that? Why did Saint Germain know him? WHERE DID TREVOR GET THE OTHER WHIP?

Trevor and Sypha were honestly probably the best handled. Sypha was herself but bigger and stressed. Trevor was also very tired and still a monster hunter. My husband was very happy with the “We’re just two sides of the same coin” philosophy Trevor had with Death, like Geralt feeling like a monster because he’s a Witcher. The idea that they aren’t exactly human and cause so much death but to the monsters. He wanted that explored. I was too busy being frustrated at the huge flashy animation fight to even remember that Trevor had said anything like that.

The magical weapons in Targoviste were cool plot devices. Much like with Varney and the mirrors and so many other things, it felt like they were there because the plot demanded it, not because there was some natural story for it outside of when Trevor and Sypha showed up.

But the single most disappointing thing was Vlad and Lisa living at the end. They didn’t want to see Alucard, absolute shit move regardless of their reasoning. The fact that they still went by Vlad and Lisa Tepes was bound to get back to Alucard somehow. And I... Being in Japan and engaging with a lot of Japanese media, I understand the way they use God is similar to the way they use Spirits, or Kami or something. God being used by a Western author makes it so wildly different. But I’m also... pretty against the idea of God in general, so the whole idea that “God” said Dracula and Lisa deserved a second chance is boring. Like, there’s so much wrong with this ending. It was only there for the shippers, probably.

Anyway. 4/10, wouldn’t watch again.

[deepestwonderlandcloud]

Tatli Ask (Sweet Love) (Can & Ozge) - Chapter One: Coffee Stain

Can Yaman closed his eyes trying to remember her face. Her long hair, her brown eyes, and the way she smelled like orange blossom. Her laugh, her smile, the way she looks at him when they were on the same page in an inside joke.

It was all a memory now.

He put her picture down and put his hands in his pockets, taking in the now all-too-familiar, all-too-empty room. This was their safe haven, their home. But now it was just an old shack full of memories.

He couldn't take it anymore. He had to go back to Istanbul, Turkey.

Bulgaria was a place Can learned to love when he was with Demet. When she was alive. Demet was a Bulgarian Turk, and having engaged 3 years ago, Can and Demet decided to live in Sofia, Bulgaria. Can and Demet were together for 7 years, 7 wonderful years. He could still remember that February 5 night when he proposed to her.

Can took Demet's hand and kissed it. He knew what he wanted to say. Or ask was the better term.

"Demet, we've been together for seven years," he started to say. "And I fall in love with you more and more each passing day."

Demet looked at him intently, carefully listening to every word that came out of his mouth.

"Demet, you are my everything. I don't---I can't imagine my life without you. Truly. I'd be lost. I fell in love with you at hello and will love you from here to eternity."

Can suddenly got on one knee, and tears fell from Demet's eyes. He kissed her hand again, this time lingering.

"Demet, you are all things kind and generous with a huge heart for loving and caring for others. For me. I love you. Will you marry me?" he said, carefully wording it so his voice wouldn't crack. He wanted to sound sincere, as his heart was.

"No."

"What? Why?!"

Demet laughed. "I was kidding! Yes, yes! I will marry you!"

He laughed and got up, pulled her to him and kissed her. He couldn't wait to wake up every morning with her, to take care of her. This time it was going to be forever.

"Sir Yaman?"

Can's thoughts were interrupted by the call of his secretary. He wiped the tear that was threatening to fall from his eyes and collected himself.

"Yes?"

"Your limo is ready to take you to the airport, Sir."

"Thank you."

He took one last look at the room. He was going to leave it all behind. All the memories. All the happiness, the pain, and the girl.

It's been three years, he thought.

But still feels like yesterday when I got that dreaded phone call.

Can gathered his things from his office. He worked as an architect in his own architectural firm, Yaman Designs. He had just finished a meeting with a billionaire client who wanted him to design the newest hotel that would be built in Sofia.

He was excited to tell it all to Demet. She, too, had been anticipating this moment since they've been waiting for weeks for this client to come through.

Can bought flowers and chocolates and ordered catering to their mansion for their special dinner. This was a huge thing. Can will now be one of the most in-demand and famous architects in Bulgaria. They had to celebrate.

He got home first and got people to set it all up. The dining room and the living room were filled with rose petals and balloons and food. Each one was Demet's favorite. Can wore a three piece black suit, patiently waiting for Demet in the living room. He had texted her what time she was going to arrive and she promised she'd be there at 8 PM.

It was 9 o'clock in the evening. It's been an hour and Demet still hasn't come home.

"She probably had some last minute papers to grade," Can tried to convince himself. Demet worked as a Philosophy Professor at Sofia University.

Another hour has passed. Not even a text.

"Where on earth is she?" Can muttered to himself.

Then his phone rang. And he didn't know it was a phone call that would change his life forever.

"Demet, where are you---"

"Is this Mr. Can Yaman?" a man said.

"Oh, uh, yes. This is he. Who's calling?"

"Good evening, Mr. Yaman. This is Officer Anton Emilov. We're very disheartened to tell you that Miss Demet Ozdemir's car was found crashed in Iskar River. Unfortunately, Mr. Yaman, Miss Demet was also found inside. We took her to the hospital as soon as we got her out, but she has been declared dead on arrival. The hospital we took her in is Lozenetz University Hospital..."

"Sir Yaman, we have arrived."

His thoughts were once again interrupted as the driver told him they have arrived at the airport. He was thankful though, at the interruption. He was going back again. Way back to the night she died. And it was breaking him inside again.

Can's assistants immediately went up to him and carried his bags. He looked at his plane ticket that said: "5:30 PM departure." He checked his watch. 4:30 PM. He had one hour to wait at the sky lounge.

"Sir Yaman, Miss Guldem asked if you will be taking one of her private planes to Istanbul today since..."

"No need, Zeynep," Can told his secretary. "I've already booked a flight to Istanbul in Business Class. Please tell mother I won't be needing her help."

"Yes, of course, Sir."

The airport was busy and that's how Can liked it. He didn't want to be alone with his thoughts. For three years, he had to keep himself busy. He used his job as his escape. He did become one of the most in-demand and famous architects in Bulgaria. He is now a self-made multi-millionaire yet he didn't care. Sofia was now a place he never wanted to go back.

He stepped in line to get coffee at Cakey Bakey, then he was going to read a book in the Airport Sky Lounge. He looked at the options, trying to avoid the ones he and Demet used to drink together.

"One Affogato please," Can said.

He took his drink, paid the cashier and tried to find an unoccupied table. He found one facing the window and walked slowly to it. Until, freezing cold liquid spilled onto his Gucci cashmere wool coat.

That was cold. And frustrating.

Can let out an exasperated sigh and looked who it was who just ruined his $3,800 dollar coat.

"I am so sorry, I didn't see you and this is my first time here..."

As mad as he was, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful the girl was. Her long, brown hair that fell just above her shoulder, those deep brown eyes, and those full lips. She looked just about the same age as him. She tried to wipe the coffee stain on his white shirt, but she only made it worse. Annoyed at the girl, he stopped her and pulled her arm away.

[cardandpixel]

9 Board Game YouTubers I Follow & Why (plus a few others)

In the literal dim and distant past when I started boardgaming (honestly, the biggest threat was tallow wax on your board), the internet was still accessed by whatever IP address you could remember off the top of your head (there’s no place like 127.0.0.1 as they sayI) - and the only TikTok was the clock ticking, waiting for half of Louise Nurding’s left leg to download only to realise it was Anne Widdecombe and you’d hit the wrong link on a BB. Boardgames had some quiet and shady corners of the internet, in those same Bulletin Boards, there was one for HeroQuest and Space Crusade when they came out. But sadly, if you wanted to see a boardgame being played or learn the rules, you either had to go round to your friend Tim’s house where he had a new chits-for-days wargame going, or sit down and actually read the rulebook yourself. As a result, I bought some interesting games in my time, including a game called Operation Overlord - a mighty chit-tastic WW2 N African campaign monster that I bought in desperation from the Games Workshop in Manchester on the first morning that it opened in 1979 (?) as we were so far back in the queue that there wasn’t a space marine to be had for miles. But now, we have a plethora of kindly folk available on our blistering shiny Windows NT 486sx machines to inform and delight us in full 8-bit glory. Everything from reviews, buying guides, rules tutorials and even painting & crafting guides, we can be bathing in just about whatever aspect of board or wargaming we so desire in an effort to stave off the clattering realisation that it’s been over 3 months since we spent any quality time with another breathing soul outside our houses. The question gets frequently asked on boardgame FaceAche forums “What YouTube channels are worth my time and why?” so in an effort to throw my own towel into that controversial ring, here’s my pick of probably 9ish, maybe more by the end, but let’s start with 9 in no particular order..... 1) 3 MINUTE BOARDGAMES

One of the first board games ‘er across the table (TM) and I bought together was a copy of Gloom from a little games and comic shop halfway round the world in Hamilton NZ, Mark 1 Comics. As we were achingly close to moving to NZ a few years ago, we’ve kept up with many aspects of what might have been our life over there, so it was a delight to discover Jarrod (and now Stephanie) on YouTube, a friendly and familiar accent reviewing board games. But it’s not just the NZ vibe that I love, Jarrod does a great job of cutting thru the hyperbole and bloat often associated with trying to keep YouTube vids ‘long for the algorithm’ (ugh) and just gives very pragmatic reasons for a game either joining or leaving his collection. He has a great approach, and it’s nice to see him finally on camera instead of the disembodied voice. Great reviewer, and Stephanie is utterly hilarious. 2) THE BROTHERS MURPH

Mike & Nick are two of the most engaging brothers on YouTube let alone just in the boardgaming community. Their series on thrift shop finds has dredged up some hilarious and often tragic specimens from the grand days of Palitoy, MB and Parker Games.  They are also masters at ‘speed reviewing’ often piling reviews of 50 or 60 games into the same number of minutes. I think I favour the ‘don’t outstay your welcome’ approach to YouTube in general, and the Brothers Murph are at great ease with this philosophy and yet they take on simple party games thru to the heaviest euros with the same distillation equipment, and yet their reviews are never trivial or throw away. We had the chance to chat to Nick at Airecon this year and he was a lovely guy, slightly blown away by the fact that people liked his channel. He’s also an awesome artist too.

3) ACTUALOL

There are many reviewers on the web who have cost me a fair amount of money, the worst being Zee Garcia, however, a close second is Jon Purkiss aka Actualol. Jon has a terrifying gift for finding games, and especially ridiculously affordable games, that I buy on spec and then end up absolutely loving. Jon has a light and breezy style which is instantly engaging - I also really want his comfy chair (surely in exchange for a nice review on here Jon???). His videos are tidy and concise and yet still convey a deep enthusiasm and joy for games. His reviews very clearly portray what the setting of the game is and what you’ll be doing, without getting embroilled in the rules. He always has great footage of the game on the table (please reviewers - look at the ratio of your face to the game you’re talking about - less than 10% game and i’m walkin’) and often favours the less pricey end of the market which suits me fine. Brilliant games I love thanks to Jon include: Second Chance, Magic Maze and Ninja Academy

4) OUR FAMILY PLAYS GAMES

There’s not much to be said about Mik & Starla Fitch that cannot be gained from watching a mere 3-4 minutes of their channel. For sheer exuberance aimed squarely at a love for bringing families together via our glorious hobby, you cannot top these guys. If you are ever - EVER - feeling slightly lacklustre about gaming or losing your mojo for whatever reason - heck if you are just feeling slightly down, treat yourself to 10 minutes in the company of these two excellent human beings. Their reviews and playthru’s have all the humanity you need in a game and after five minutes you are thinking “Is the US too far to go just for a gaming evening?” We’d both utterly love to sit across the table from these lovely people and just play, and I can’t say that about every reviewer, I’ll be honest. Their reviews are often centred around unloved classics (watch their vid dedicated to why they love Catan as an example - you’ll be clicking Buy Now before your know it) and also some great quirky unknowns that I’m trying to hunt down even now. They’ve just had a brilliant couple of boosts from both a spot of Good Morning America recently, and becoming reviewers for the mighty Dice Tower. I’m immensely grateful for a tweet by Rodney Smith for pointing me in their direction, my social media is a much brighter place with the Fitch family in it.

5) RAHDO RUNS THROUGH

“Heeeeey Everybody”. One of the first board game reviewers I ever caught on YouTube was the inimitable Richard Ham aka Rahdo. And I’m so glad I did. I would genuinely never sit down and try and learn a game from one of Rahdo’s playthrus, they are what I imagine being in a wind tunnel full of 50 tonnes of feathers is like. BUT and this is crucial - if I want an idea of what a game is going to feel like to play, there is no finer deliverer of the remote game experience than Mr Richard Ham. His unique ability to explain how a game is going to work, turn by turn; the decisions you will make; the things you’ll have to consider; the short and long term goals; are all brilliantly covered in one of Rahdo’s videos. His ability to make different choices for his ‘ghost partner’ Jen (who does exist in real life, we have bought jewelry off her, she’s lovely) also adds a real dynamism to the games, showcasing the flexibility in a design for different play strategies. Rahdo tends towards 2 player games and usually at the heavier end of the scale, but if there’s a game you are thinking of buying, check Mr Ham out first! 

6) WATCH IT PLAYED

It’s often been said that Canadians are some of the politest folk on the planet, but when it comes to ranking Canadians, well, I’m sure they’d be too humble to rank each other so I’ll have to. Rodney Smith is the loveliest man in the world. There, end of article. But it’s true. We’ve been watching Rodney since we first got confused about the rules for Mice & Mystics (which we still got wrong but that wasn’t Rodney’s fault) and his ever chirpy, ever positive approach to his rules rundowns is utterly remarkable and frankly, enviable. And it’s his attention to detail and clarity for explaining rules that have rightly made Rodney one of the most important resources in the gaming hobby. If you have ever struggled over a rulebook and haven’t raced to Watch It Played, I will guarantee you will have spent far longer on that rulebook and lost way more hair than you ever needed to. We had the great honour of playing Rajas of the Ganges with Rodney at Airecon in 2019, and I mugged up on the rules sooo much. Regular imbibers of this rag will know my sloth for reading rulebooks is legendary but fortunately ‘er across the table (TM) loves them. But, for the 3 days running up to our trip to Harrogate, I did nothing but read that rulebook - this was THE Rodney Smith, you can’t get a rule wrong with Rodney. But of course, nerves kicked in and I could barely remember the rules of Snap, but the nicest man in the world could not have been nicer. Really, quantum mechanics has proved it. He was just the same man off the computer telly. Funny, engaging, warm and happy to chat as well as play (which I was also really nervous about doing!), if you don’t watch Rodney, are you really internetting?

7) TABLETOP MINIONS

“Pachow” From boardgames to wargames. As well as my slight addiction to cardboard, my other opiate overlord is 28mm plastic miniatures. Specifically those involved in tabletop skirmish games like Malifaux, 7TV, Fallout Wasteland Warfare, GuildBall and a smattering of others. Though recently more focused on the frankly insane amount of content being released by Games Workshop, Tabletop Minions is presented by the splendid Uncle Atom. (In fact, I identify his content so much as Uncle Atom’s stuff that I honestly had to double check the name of the channel for this article!). My plastic habit uncle (sounds so wrong, but so true) has possibly the gentlest delivery of anyone on the internet. It’s not so much content, as therapy. I know the net is awash with AMSR channels at the mo, but if you don’t want to listen to some overmonetized southern californian with some bubble wrap and a large capsule condenser mic, just hop over to TTM and listen to the Uncle for 5 minutes. He’s like a soothing bubble bath of content about painting figures, philosophy of the hobby, general art & design principles, and great life advice. He also wears a fez.

8) GIRL PAINTING

“Hello Tchoobies!” I painted my first 28mm figure when i was about 12ish - it was, ironically, a space marine of some sort - the old clunky Ral Partha ones. It looked terrible, but each model got a bit better till I stopped for some reason a few years later. When I got into Malifaux a few years ago (ie decades, several of them, later), I knew I was going to have to get back into painting; heaps of grey plastic does not a skirmish game make. (Little did I know I would have to revisit my microscopy days either when assembling damn Bayou Gremlins!)  Two channels were recommended to me, the Esoteric Order of Gamers (more later) and Girl Painting. EOG put me on the path to believing I could paint again, but Alexandra at Girl Painting actually made me believe I could learn to do it well. GP’s approach to painting figures, terrain and vehicles is based on solid art theory. Her explanation of colour relationships and the colour wheel is something I can quote to this day. All of the techniques that I lean on so heavily in day to day painting both for table and display I learnt from Girl Painting. Correct use of washes, wet blending,  non-metallic metals, shading, drybrushing, highlighting, model reading, all of it from studying intently, often with a brush actually in my hand while watching the channel. I cannot recommend GP enough if you want to put paint to plastic. Whatever your ability, you will learn something from this hidden gem of a channel.

9) ESOTERIC ORDER OF GAMERS

Another dang fine antipodean and another slightly unusual channel. I have a terrible, terrible memory when it comes to rules. In our early days, we also had a a lot of games with seemingly very over-bloated rulebooks - FFG games basically. I suddenly realised what I wanted was to lift the lid of a box and find in the lid, a summary of the important stuff i needed to remember about the game. Apparently I was not the only one. In 2013 a chap known as Universal Head started publishing an amazing series of rules summaries which condensed down some of the bloatiest rulesbooks down to often one or 2 pages of A4. It was a (pardon the pun) gamechanger for me. I can’t count the number of games in our collection that have a friendly sheet of A4 now as the first thing you see when you open the box. They are brilliant. And he’s still doing it to this day. I would argue that the more useful leg to his activities is the website rather than YouTube channel, but his channel does have the aforementioned brilliant figure painting tutorials, unboxing videos and some crafting stuff. The website is definitely the place for the rules summaries and also a fantastic resource for build-it-yourself foamcore box inserts. Though Folded Space have now made box inserts pretty affordable, there’s still no feeling like the satisfaction of building your own, and I would argue that some of EoG’s designs actually make more sense than some of the Folded Space ones anyway. AND THE OTHER ONES (Who probably don’t really need the exposure, but hey, only 11 people probably read this so......)  Why aren’t these on the list above? Just because I wanted to highlight some of the more marginal channels above or more specialist rather than the pure reviewers. SHUT UP & SIT DOWN Possibly my favourite channel on YouTube, whose name sounds more like a menacing Yorkshire greeting than a boardgame channel. SU&SD seem to be a real Marmite issue on the board game communities. And I genuinely don’t understand it. Yes, their reviews are often really funny but honestly, if that’s all you take away then you are missing some amazingly detailed and thought provoking work. Quinns and crew’s reviews are some of the most measured and balanced reviews in the gameyverse. Their reasoning for the conclusions they come to are incredibly well thought through and often very surprising based on the tone of the rest of the review. They have steered me to some games I would never have looked twice at and steered me away from some very shiny games that I might have blown a lot of money on otherwise. Flagposting great alternatives is also a signature of their reviews, and that again has often lead me to some fantastic games. We don’t always agree (their recent review of 10 Oink Games was savage imho) but we always disagree for the right reasons. Again, I would argue their website is actually a better overall resource, especially their podcasts which are superb, but all their content is fantastic.

in a highly similar vein I would add NO PUN INCLUDED. Efka & Elaine produce some of the most thoughtful and intelligent boardgame review content today, and often for some of the deepest and most complex games. The joy of boardgaming is that it is highly subjective and there are lots of times when NPI like/dislike a game that I do/don’t, but they are engaging and warm enough as presenters to hit you with a gentle subtext that says “It’s ok - I know we like this game, we get that you don’t, it doesn’t make any of us bad people, just people y’know, have a sandwich with us”  Efka criticising a game reminds me of when Dennis Healey once described an argument with Geoffrey Howe as being ‘savaged by a dead sheep’, though not in the cynical manner of the original. The criticism is loaded with that crucial dose of ‘hear me out’ that is sadly lacking in 90% of all other reviewers out there. Efka & Elaine are no GoggleBox reviewers, they are the real deal - they genuinely understand how games work and why. The sheer moral turmoil that Efka expressed over the cultural issues in Rising Sun was some of the most thoughtful YouTube content I have ever seen. I just wanted to do a little shout out to Johannes & Sunniva at BOARD GAMING RAMBLINGS - I don’t have as much to say as they are relatively new on my radar, but I have really enjoyed their content so far and find them to be like one of those adorable gaming couples that you might see every once in a while at your gaming group and have a blast with, and then not see for months and go “Awh - I really miss Johannes & Sunniva - where’d they go?” that feeling, you know the one. Adorable, with a hint of the esoteric. Also, a quick but important mention to the other titan of boardgame rules explanation that is Paul Grogan of GAMING RULES!. Like Rodney Smith, Paul is meticulous about rules explanation and is really clear and simple to follow, even for very heavy games, which Paul tends to do more of than Rodney, which is probably why I end up watching Paul slightly less, but certainly not for any less quality. Paul has such a reputation in the industry that he now works closely with many designers and publishers to help craft the best rulebooks around as a consultant. So that’s it - congrats for making it through folks. Didn’t think it was going to run this long, but turns out.... I quite like a lot of the YouTubers I watch - who knew? Until next time... happy gaming y’all.

[jcmorrigan]

Right, since you asked me questions about my f/o, I'll fire some at you now! 1. Favourite place to go with them 2. How do you care for them when they are ill and vice versa 3. Had any playful arguments that you look at and go 'what were we doing??' I'll slide these over here and be on my way ;3

All right! So, as a reminder, I have three (3) romantic f/o’s - XR from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, Tony Dracon from Gargoyles, and Giovanni Potage from Epithet Erased. And for this exercise, I am going to answer all three questions FOR ALL THREE OF THEM! (If you’re following me for something other than selfship and you don’t wanna see me ramble for three pages, please block the tag “selfship” now)

1. FAVORITE PLACE TO GO!

I hadn’t realized until I thought about it, but it always seems to come back to a rooftop in the city. You think I like city lights or something? I do. I love city lights. I love cities.

Anyway, with XR, I decided right away that our favorite planet is Trade World, seedy underbelly and all. We can kill time there forever (and probably waste all our money on stuff that isn’t important). I haven’t written it yet, but one of the ideas I had for writing us was that after the big love confession, we’d have our first date on a rooftop restaurant there and watch the lights come on as the sun set, at which point I very sappily draw a connection between my love of city lights and XR’s eyes.

As for Giovanni, I have this whole oneshot about our first kiss that revolves around us trying to find the most perfect and fittingly dramatic place for it, and I ended up putting us on a rooftop at the edge of town where the Sweet Jazz skyline would be our background in all its luminescent glory. I imagine we’d go back up to that building again and again to talk about things if we’re not chilling at home or a base of operations. Just watching the night.

Then for Tony? I admittedly hadn’t given it too much thought, but I immediately got an image of us on, guess what, a rooftop, but of a skyscraper in downtown NYC. Now, Gio and I had to break onto ours by scaling the fire escape ladders; Tony would bust locks and we’d just take the stairs up from the inside. And that’s where we slow-dance when we want to be alone. Bring up a whole portable stereo and a mix of the schmaltziest love rock-ballads (think, like, REO Speedwagon or Journey). Come to think of it, I actually don’t know whether he’s made the connection that the Gargoyles operate out of the Eyrie, so we would definitely look at the freaking castle above the clouds and go “Next target” without knowing the law and order of the town that plagues our existence roosts there.

I’m also working on an AU that is compliant with my “Taking Back the Crown” crossover universe, and in that one, I’m thinking I’d be polyamorous with all three. While I haven’t picked a favorite spot, I do know that particular s/i would live in Twilight Town, and since Final Fantasy is piecemeal AU’d into KH logic (whereas none of those three are from canon KH worlds but it’s an easy crossover gateway so their worlds would just be intact), I actually have this design that Rabanastre from FFXII would be the capital of the nation Twilight Town is in and a few hours’ train ride away, and the four of us just LOVE heading over there and probably scaling some rooftops.

2. CARING FOR THE SICK!

Let’s start with me, in general. I’m a huge hypochondriac. I fear germs. I’m not really that good at taking care of sick friends/family, but for a romantic partner, I’d try to step up my game. I’d be on call. Now, if they were just ordinary sick, I might see if they’d be okay staying home while I got work done, with the caveat that I have my phone on me and can answer whenever. They’re stricken with debilitating nausea and can’t leave the bed? I’ll play hooky. But I’ll try to keep a reasonable distance whenever possible (chatting with them from across the room, where I am planted in a chair that is far away from the bed) and use a surgical mask and gloves whenever approaching. Yes, that may sound heartless, but I still wanna be available to bring them whatever they need, just with my armor on. And I’m not me unless I’m a raging hypochondriac who thinks she’s coming down with what her boyfriend’s got every five seconds. The exception, of course, is XR, who I envision would get sick as a visual gag of having a “computer virus” and exhibit all the symptoms of a head cold without actually being contagious.

Tony is low-maintenance and insists he doesn’t need to be babied, so he’s not gonna even ask me for that much except company. Giovanni and XR are both absolutely complainers and going to whine at me every five minutes, which will inevitably make my heart melt.

As for when I’m sick…

XR loves playing “nurse” (kinda like I had him in this oneshot where I sprain my shoulder) and will get me everything I want. This is for somewhat selfish reasons so I will talk up how great of a boyfriend he is when I’m sick. Also, there’s a good chance that any medical supplies he brings me might be “borrowed without permission” from Star Command’s med bay. He WILL bring me illegal narcotics, and I WILL turn them down. He’ll also call in sick to work himself to take care of me - and also because it gives him an excuse to not turn in to work. We’ll likely end up binging shows cuddled up together if I’m not sleepy or too nauseous.

Tony isn’t all that attentive; he knows I’m a grown-up and can mostly handle myself. If I’m seriously incapacitated, he’ll watch over me, but in most cases, he’ll take off to get his own work done, same philosophy as me: call me if you need anything. He’s not gonna rush to bring me things, but he will do smaller gestures - brushing my hair back if I’m asleep before he leaves, etc. After business is taken care of, if I seem stable and not contagious, he’ll assist me in setting up on the couch with blankets aplenty on one end while he sits on the other, and really, all my f/o’s know that when I’m sick, I just wanna binge TV shows, so that’s what we do.

Giovanni freaks out. He also wants to get me everything I need, but he’s kinda not used to taking care of sick people, so he’ll be running around like a headless chicken asking me if I need various medical supplies that don’t at all apply to the kind of illness I have (such as a splint or a tourniquet). And soup. He will bring me so much soup. Hey, he’s good at making it, so I’m not gonna complain. He also does unfortunately think cuddling will make things better, and want to sit in bed next to me or kiss me for reassurance. I tell him over and over and over that that’s just gonna get him sick. Less than 24 hours later, he’s caught what I have, and I’m just “GEE, I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED.”

3. PETTY ARGUMENTS!

XR and I are built on petty arguments. He fulfills my fantasies of a relationship based on tsundere rivalry. We will find things to argue about for fun. This is how we get our kicks. I call him a dumbass, he calls me a narcissist, we don’t mean it (…mostly). He once caught me singing and dancing, thinking I was alone, and taped it and circulated it as a meme. He thinks it’s hilarious if I trip and fall. Conversely, I think it’s hilarious if he runs into things when he’s not looking where he’s going. I keep a running record of stupidest spelling mistakes he’s made and will trot them out whenever appropriate. At the end of the day, though, we set it all aside. Don’t let anyone know we’re actually nice to each other behind closed doors!

Tony and I basically argue about one petty thing: the fact that he CANNOT DRIVE. Is there canon precedent to this? Not really, except for the fact that his henchmen always seem to be driving the getaway car. But I have it in my head that the people in our operation who should be driving are me, Pal Joey, and Glasses. The person in our operation who should not be driving is Tony. Guess which one of the four asks most often to drive? Yeah. And sometimes he wears us down and we have to deal with him nearly killing us by driving 20 mph above the speed limit. IN DOWNTOWN NEW YORK. THE POLICE CHASE HASN’T EVEN STARTED. If there is one thing that is the subject of our married-couple spats, it is THIS.

Arguing with Giovanni is more of a minefield because we both have a habit of pretending we’re not sensitive about certain things until one of us rags on that certain thing and then it explodes. I have a oneshot idea, may or may not write it, in which he insults my “nerd glasses” like he always does with Sylvie, and I’m legitimately hurt but trying not to show it, so I engage in a rivalry argument with him that lasts all day, up until he jokingly says that I have delusions of grandeur and I just say “Well, at least I don’t think I’m qualified to be captain when I’m not” about myself when I realize that my lack of filter made it sound like I insinuated he wasn’t qualified to be captain, at which point he will actually start crying and insist to me that words hurt. Everything’s made better when we sit down and have an honest talk about what we said that hurt each other and then hug it out.

[gukknj]

MIND GAMES (1)

pairing: min yoongi x reader, kim namjoon reader

genre: angst

rating: 18+ 

warnings: douchebag!yoongi, jealous!yoongi, cursing

word count: 4.8k+

The fact that you were ten minutes into another conversation about philosophy and didn't have a drink in your hand was genuinely irritating, especially given how long these conversations usually lasted. The music was light and atmospheric in his dorm room, harmonizing seamlessly to the soft fairy lights hung on his otherwise empty walls so meticulously. The thought placed into the minimalist design of his room is something to be admired, but that's how Namjoon generally is ‒ conscientious and precise about every little detail ‒ and this trait carries on over into his conversations. You figure that was the reason why you were so bored listening to him explain the inner workings of Plato's trial and errors, but you couldn't blame that on Namjoon, you're sure that anyone would be bored if they had to hear philosophy mumbo-jumbo outside of a classroom.

You nod along with him in false interest, but your eyes continuously glance towards the bottle of alcohol he has on his nightstand - a bottle that is being used and abused by his friends, poured out carelessly into red solo cups. It'll most likely be empty before you even get a chance to get out of Namjoon's school lesson trap and you haven't even had a proper cup to down. 

You like Namjoon well enough, he is the first person you go to after class if you need help with your notes and he never refuses you studious advances no matter how horrific your understanding of the subject matter is. You met him during orientation and immediately made note of his raspy voice and impossibly pronounced dimples. He's someone so annoyingly smart and handsome in equal parts that it makes you upset, sometimes. So, obviously, when he has these small get-togethers and thinks to invite you to his dorm with only a handful of others, you happily clear your schedule and accept. You figure it's the least you could do, if only so that you don't feel like you're only associating with him for his free tutoring and excellent note-taking abilities. And it's not like you don't enjoy that beautiful glint he gets in his eyes when he speaks of something he's passionate about or the mesmerizing grin that slowly takes over his face when you can also appreciate whatever he got to rambling about. You loved it. However, you realize sadly that tonight none of it is working on you and you'd rather keep to yourself than to hear Namjoon question the universe. You have just enough energy to fake a smile and nod enthusiastically to whatever profound thoughts he was gushing about. 

Namjoon's friends changed the music from the soft easy-listening track to a hard-hitting rap song, turning up the volume so that the bass could vibrate through the floor. The mood amongst them changes drastically as they all begin shouting and dancing along to the familiar explicit lyrics and it's only then does Namjoon pause in his one-sided conversation with you. His eyes drag to his friends exhaustedly like he's had to deal with this for so long that it doesn't even phase him anymore. You're momentarily entertained, at least, by the suddenly fun commotion and his friends acting like complete idiots. You've never interacted for too long with Namjoon's group, but they all seem pretty lively, something that you rarely see out of their friend. He gives up on scolding his friends once he sees how happy they all are, jumping and singing and drinking. 

"Hey, lover boy, stop being lame and turn up!"

You blush at the implication behind his friend's words and look up to spot whoever said it. Of course, it was the more outspoken of his group, Kim Taehyung. The only thing louder than his constantly babbling mouth is his absurdly unique name-brand clothes. Taehyung was the first person of Namjoon's unusually large group that you met. It was right after one of your scheduled study sessions when his obnoxious friend came hurdling towards him with the crudest story about how he had just gotten the 'worst head of his life' inside of a Burger King restroom. He only noticed you standing awkwardly beside Namjoon three minutes into his traumatizing story, to which he gave you a dismissive wave and mentioned that you should consider investing in Chapstick. Namjoon literally had to talk you down from the angry rant you were about to attack Taehyung with, assuring you numerous times that sometimes his friend could be a dick but overall he was a nice person. You scoffed at the time, but over the past couple of months, you've given Taehyung the benefit of the doubt. Namjoon glares at his friend with venom in his eyes, silently commanding him to shut the hell up.

Taehyung shrugs. "Being mad at me never gets anyone anywhere!" He says before turning towards whatever naïve girl he scooped up from campus to warm his lap for the night. Jimin is beside him, downing another drink from his cup as he dances loosely to the music blaring from the speakers. There's no room to deny that even in his drunken state, he moves like a professional dancer, body rolling like water. Hoseok is laid out on the small couch with a vacant expression on his usually lively face, flushed with drunkenness.

You've met Jimin and Hoseok both on separate occasions that didn't involve Namjoon. You and Jimin frequent the same gym, usually giving each other waves of acknowledgment in passing from the number of times you see each other. He's probably the most beautiful boy you've ever seen in real life, like a doll almost and you can't help but turn jittery if his attention is solely on you. You and Hoseok were once partnered up for a small project in English, so you're already aware of his charms and infectious happiness. Usually, Hoseok is the life of the party anywhere he ends up, but you've come to realize that one too many drinks in his system drown out his energy ten-fold. You'd find his crankiness much cuter if you weren't so out of it.

"We were in the middle of a conversation, Tae." Namjoon whines as Taehyung decides to grind on his girl of the week. A low grumble resounds from your far left and you almost forget that Min Yoongi was also occupying the room with you, he's so incredibly quiet sometimes that it's easy to misplace him. 

"More like you were in the middle of a conversation," He mutters just loud enough for anyone next to him to hear, all the while staring you and Namjoon down with those accusing eyes. Kim Taehyung is somewhat of a bastard to you (and anyone who has ever met him), but unlike Taehyung, Yoongi has always seemed to have a real problem with your presence. You catch his cold glares in the oddest of moments, in situations where you're studying with Namjoon or laughing with Hoseok, his indifference towards you is always so palpable that no words about it ever has to be spoken. It's only when you're accidentally left alone with him for a moment does he ever voice his disdain for you, usually in short, spiteful sentences that involved you being a 'demon' or whatever. In turn, you've grown your own disliking towards him, if not for his callous attitude towards you, then for the way he acts like he knows more than everyone around him. You've tried to convince Namjoon on multiple occasions that his friend is an actual demonic entity but you're always met with laughter. Yoongi's thin lips curve up into a mean smirk when notices your scowl. You roll your eyes and move to stand up from Namjoon's perfectly made bed. 

"You know what, I think there may be an over-abundance of testosterone in this room," You pull yourself up and stretch, ignoring Namjoon's cries of that you stay with him. It's not his fault that you weren't feeling well enough to engage in this scene. You catch Yoongi's intense glare as you grab your purse from the bed. "I should get back to my place and make sure Lisa isn't binge-watching those true crime shows. She'll end up sleeping with a bat, trust me it isn't pretty." You laugh nervously. If Namjoon's pout is anything to go by, he's inconvenienced by your decision to leave. 

"I'll walk you back!" He insists, but you wave him off. 

"It's alright, Joonie, you should stay here and make sure that idiot doesn't burn this place to the ground," You nod your head towards Taehyung who was lighting up a blunt at that very moment. Namjoon curses and walks to Taehyung to remind him of his strict rule on smoking in his room. You use the opportunity to slither your way out through his door and into the deserted hallway of his building. 

That's definitely the last time you agree to hang out later than midnight with a bunch of boys. 

You're just getting your bearings together, flipping your phone from your back pocket to call up Lisa and see if she was busy when the door behind you opens again. You slide to the right, avoiding whoever decided to walk out on Namjoon and continued trying to contact your roommate. Lisa has the odd habit of bringing back her boyfriend at random intervals of the day and sexiling you until further notice, so you always check in with her before returning, out of respect for your eyeballs. A loud cough startles you out of your phone. You glance beside you and frown. 

"Min Yoongi. What do you want?" You ask with an unprecedented attitude flowing through every word. 

"I'm walking you back." He says, and you can't stop the laugh from leaving your mouth. Yoongi has never offered you even a breadcrumb, he probably wouldn't rush to grab a water bottle if you were set on fire, so you don't feel the slightest bit in the wrong when you flip him off.

"Fuck off." You reply before turning and walking down the hall by yourself. His soft footsteps behind you prove that you hadn't been stern enough.

"I feel so sorry for Namjoon." He comments off-handedly. It almost makes you pause, but you keep walking until you get to the elevator and then press the call button. His presence beside you is very prickly and overt, there's no way that you could ever possibly focus on anything else once you notice his undivided attention on you. "It must be so exhausting to chase after such a stuck up bitch."

You whip around with a chilling glare. He's never deterred by your reactions, though. He enjoys getting a rise out of you, that much has been obvious from the very first day you met him, and foolishly you give into his mind games. That's all Min Yoongi is ‒ mind games. He knows he's got you, you can tell by the kink in his right eyebrow. 

"I must've been really fucking blackout drunk the day I met you." You can't help but comment and then immediately wish you hadn't, because while there's always been a mutual hatred between yourself and Yoongi, one night in your history could refute that fact. It was ages ago before you'd even known he was acquainted with Namjoon and doesn't matter or count. Yoongi smiles to himself as if recalling every detail of your embarrassing encounter about a year ago.

"You only had two drinks the entire night, you know that as well as I do. I can't help that I'm irresistible to you."

"Fuck you," You say as you press down on the elevator call button ten more times, ready to leave this entire night behind. "Did you just come out here to antagonize me?" 

"No. I'm walking you home."

You scoff. "I don't want you to, I can take care of myself. Besides, I'd rather take my chances of dodging the rapists and murderers than spend another minute talking to you." It wasn't entirely true, but you just wanted him to realize that he couldn't keep walking all over you and not expecting any harsh comments back. But that was counter-productive seeing as Yoongi enjoys rousing you to the point of expletives. It's frustrating that you can never win around him, frustrating and suffocating. 

"Brave girl," he sneers just as the elevator dings and separates its doors. "Yet, so unappreciative."

You don't wait to hear whatever other nonsense he was going to spew at you, running into the elevator and pressing the lobby button as fast as you could. As Yoongi boards the lift with you instead of leaving as you hoped, you silently scolded yourself for denying Namjoon's kind invitation of walking you back in the first place. You didn't even understand how Namjoon and Yoongi were so impossibly close with their clashing personalities - surely, loving the same genre of music isn't enough for such a sustained friendship. 

"Fine, trail behind me like some sick puppy, but don't expect me to speak to you."

He huffs at that but doesn't say anything more to you as the elevator slowly descends. Using any excuse to avoid contact with him, you pull your phone back up and dial Lisa's number. You could feel Yoongi's stare burning through your skin as you waited for your friend to pick up her phone. 

"Hey, Cupcake!" Lisa greets and a wave of relief washes over you just hearing her voice, even if it was calling you that stupid nickname she appointed you when you first met. You fall asleep on top of a half-eaten cupcake one time and it's like she'll never let it go. 

"Lisa, please tell me that you're not in the room with Zuho."

She squeaks. "I thought you were staying with Namu tonight!" 

"Change of plans. I don't feel well enough to endure Taehyung's perpetual frat boy commentary." You admit, getting a snort from the boy beside you. Lisa sighs.

"Oh, so it had nothing to do with Min Yoongi this time?" She asks rather loudly. You almost cover your phone but the damage had been done and Yoongi has surely heard her question. You turn to see him already looking at you with that devilish smirk of his. 

"Of course not." You reply, eyes still set on the boy beside you. Before it could turn into a staring contest, the elevator doors finally ding open. "You haven't even answered my question. Is Zuho with you?" You ask as you exit the suffocating trap, relieved to breath air that wasn't exclusively shared with Min Yoongi. You walk ahead fast and through the lobby to the dark midnight chills of outside.

"Yes, but I swear we aren't just fooling around for no reason. It's our six-month anniversary and I told him you'd be gone all night. Please, can you just crash somewhere else for tonight? I'll pay for your lunch every day next week and do your laundry and pay your Spotify Premium account and --"

"Lalisa! Stop, you had me at lunch." You admit sadly. "But I don't have anywhere else to crash and I refuse to sleep on that disgusting couch in the common area." You huff. Lisa whines.

"I can call up Irene, she's usually awake at this time."

"Irene isn't going to let me back in her room, not after what happened last time."

"I still think she shouldn't have had that many candles lit in the first place. It was an honest mistake, the fire department didn't even have to come." Lisa stays positive, like always. You stop yourself in your tracks to the dorm, deciding to stand frozen on the sidewalk like an idiot.

"I'll figure something out, Lisa, don't worry." 

"Please, text me when you've found somewhere to sleep. Love you, Cupcake!"

You hang up the call with a worried sigh. You could always go back to Namjoon's room and beg that he lets you stay the night, you're sure that if you pouted enough he might even shut down the party early.

"Quite the predicament you're in." You nearly jump out of your skin at the unexpected voice. You could almost forget that Yoongi was lingering behind you, listening to your every word. 

"Nothing I can't handle." You reply without hesitation. Yoongi laughs, the first laugh you've ever heard from him that wasn't full of sarcasm, and his smile turns so gummy and bright that it confuses you. 

"Even now, in a situation where you have absolutely nothing...you still act like that. You are ridiculous."

"Excuse me?"

"You're staying with me tonight."

"What?"

"No questions. Follow me."

His demanding words and quick strides do nothing for you. You cross your arms and stay firmly planted to the sidewalk like the stubborn baby you knew you were being. You'd honestly take your chances with a grumpy, spiteful Irene than to follow Yoongi to his room. You'd even take the disgusting common area couches that are filled to the brim with college boy farts and littered with spilled alcohol and coffee. Yoongi stops, realizing the lack of your pursuit and comes back with a grunt.

"You make things difficult, 'Cupcake'," He makes sure he's standing close enough so that you hear him whisper the mocking name to your face. "You have nowhere to sleep and it's past midnight. This campus is filled with dodgy characters, trust me, you wouldn't be the first girl I've seen wander off and get caught in some trouble. I offer you a clean, non-threatening place to sleep and you still want to be a brat? Fine." 

"Fine." Is all you could say. 

He walks away from you then, not even daring to turn back as his figure gets further and further away. He has a point, but at what cost? It's not like you believe Yoongi is someone who would kill you in your sleep, but it's uncomfortable to spend a night in your enemy's space, especially when you've had a one night stand with said enemy before. He should be uncomfortable, too! That's what makes you so angry. Why isn't he as put off by this idea as you are? Why is he suddenly a dutiful citizen? Mind games, you rationalize. You stare at his back as he starts disappearing from your vision. 

Fuck, you're going to regret this.

"Yoongi, wait!" 

You run quickly to catch up with him, panting by the time you get to his side again. He still refuses to pay you any mind, so you grab him by his arm to garner his attention. He eyes you like you're insane for putting your hands on him, but you ignore his judging stare for a moment. You grip his arm harder to keep him beside you, which was easy seeing as he didn't seem to even try breaking out of your hold. 

"I'll stay with you." 

It takes a lot for the words to come out and once they do there's no taking them back. You might as well have signed a deal with the Devil.

"I'm afraid my offer has expired. I don't provide accommodation services to spoiled brats." He answers. "Although, I may be able to lift this rule just for you," his eyes darken. "If you beg me nicely."

"You're a sick human being." You grate. Of course, there'd be a price of some sort to pay where he's involved. "Like, seriously, you have got to be a sociopath or something because I have never met a more infuriating, annoying person in my life."

"That doesn't sound like you want a place to sleep."

"Fine, fuck. Please. Please, Yoongi, may I stay in your room tonight?" You swallow all of your pride to ask. Yoongi's smile grows impossibly larger. 

"Look at that. Not a hint of sass or sarcasm. Good job." He commends you with a sarcastic clap of his hands, which you don't appreciate one bit, but you'd rather keep your mouth closed until you actually get to his room. You walk at his lazy pace wordlessly all the way to his area of the large campus, which is undoubtedly superior to Namjoon's building. Min Yoongi happens to be a star basketball player, so obviously, he gets the cleaner side of campus with the giant dorm spaces. Just walking into his building makes you angry at your elitist school and their raised standards for the athletic department over regular students. You've never once stumbled into a basketball game, but you figured Yoongi couldn't possibly be so amazing that he deserved such an estate. He doesn't even look like he'd exert enough energy to ride a bike, so picturing him as a basketball player is a hard task. But there's no doubt about it once he uses his room key to his dorm. 

"My room is literally a third of this size." You can't help but comment. Yoongi snorts, closing his door and elbowing past you.

"That must suck for you." He says sadly, but the slight smirk on his face told you that he reveled in your anguish. 

You ignore his words and move to the messily made bed in the left corner of the room. His eye for color is nothing that needs to be discussed, most of the room was slathered in black with a few monotone posters of old-school rappers lining the walls. Your eyes followed the weathered, frayed poster of Tupac Shakur as you moved to his bed, dropping one knee to his mattress before turning to him. He hadn't stopped staring at you.

You smirk. "All this room and you still only have this tiny twin bed. I suppose you're not as above me as you think." You say just to rile him, which proves extremely effective given his offended face. It takes him a few moments to collect himself, huffing and inhaling deeply before he could even address you correctly. 

"I don't understand what Namjoon sees in you. Off my bed." He orders. You crawl further up his mattress. Yoongi huffs, following after you to the edge of the bed. He stands in front of you with a glowering stare, but you match it evenly with your own, placing your hands above your hips.

"I don't get what he sees in you, either." You reply. The bed doesn't offer much height advantage even on your knees, so your head tilts up at him from your position. 

"He sees me as a good friend who'll protect him from girls like you." 

"Do you smoke crack? I'm Namjoon's friend."

"Oh, please! Don't play dumb, I see through all your bullshit. You know that Namjoon has a crush on you and all you've done is lead him on because you feel bad. You're just a bad person, acting like you enjoy your time with him when all you want to do is jump to your next conquest."

You squint at him. So, that's what his problem with you is? It has absolutely nothing to do with him. It barely even adds up, but he's fuming at you like it means everything. You try to dissect it, decipher your past interactions and scrape for clues as this being the reason for his deep hatred for you, but it still doesn't make sense. 

"I haven't led him on to anything, I'm his friend regardless of how anyone feels. I'm not obligated to date someone just because they may or may not have a silly crush on me. And, what the actual fuck do you mean by 'conquests'?"

"You just go around making guys all crazy and leave, like it's fun for you!"

"When have I ever done something like that?"

His eyes turn cold and he breaks your steady eye contact to stare at his wall. You wait for his elaboration patiently, but it never comes, leaving you both stilted in the deafening, awkward silence. 

That's when something kind of hits you and it makes you roll your eyes.

"Alright. Let's just pretend like I am this bad person you think I am. Why do you even care so much? Why walk me home? Why bring me back to your dorm?" 

You question, boldly reaching out to his loose t-shirt. His eyebrows raise as you bunch the fabric in your hands, twisting and pulling it so he's leaning to your level. His hands slap down on either side of you, resting on his sheets as you address him. "Maybe you're the bad person." You whisper.

"I'm the bad person?" He asks, voice significantly lower than earlier as if confirming your strange suspicions. You take the moment to acknowledge the features of his face that you usually never linger on, like his dark brown eyes and the tired circles beneath them; his high cheekbones and the red blemishes that splatter mostly on the right side of his face. 

You wished you could say that you didn't remember the night you met Yoongi all too well, it would've been an easier pill to swallow had your memory magically been tampered with, but you remember everything in vivid detail. You remembered the frat party you'd stumbled upon with Lisa, how flustered and new you were to parties that didn't involve parents being out of town, and Lisa's sudden abandonment that left you vulnerable beside the drinks table with a shaky red solo cup in your hand. The bass from the speakers shook the floorboards, vibrating beneath you and all through you to the point where you were developing chills. An awkward freshman hanging out by a table of alcohol, eyes widely taking in the random, sweaty faces of your peers and lingering on the cloud of smoke wafting above you. Everyone was either drinking, smoking, or dancing - all belonging to different cliques that you doubted you could easily slip into and you suddenly wished that you were as much a social butterfly as your friend. It didn't start as an easy night for you.

It wasn't until a certain blonde devil had made you laugh that your night started turning around. 

"Yes," you answer simply, noticing the beginnings of dark roots starting to show in his blonde hair. He gets impossibly closer to you, breathing every breath you exhale, forehead almost touching yours. "Because you don't actually care about my relationship with Namjoon. You're acting out like a jealous toddler."

He cackles. "Jealous? You don't even like Namjoon." 

You know you've figured it out then. All of his dirty looks and harsh words simply because he's too immature to confront his real feelings. Yoongi never has been good at articulating his feelings, but conquests? Who does he think you are? And, who is he to judge even if you did have conquests? You're full on glaring at him now, hoping that he could possibly turn to dust with the power of your mind alone. 

"Are you happy now that you've got my attention? Does it feel better than sitting in the background while I talk to your best friend instead?" You taunt without a hint of compassion. Yoongi's eyes narrow in on you despite his close proximity, and for one second you think you see a tinge of pink dusting his pale cheeks, but he turns away too quickly for you to investigate on that.

"I've always had your attention," he remarks, snorting as he walked to his computer desk adjacent to you. "You really can't ignore me, it's almost pitiful."

"What's pitiful is the fact that you can't get over something that happened so fucking long ago, you have to constantly voice your opinion and pull at my pigtails like we're in goddamn preschool! Yes, we hooked up one time like a million years ago! It's never gonna happen again, Yoongi!"

"Why?"

That knocks you off your rhythm. You stutter. "What?"

"Why...didn't you call me after that night?" He asks so lowly you had to strain your ears to hear him right. You're shocked still, rightfully so. You never expected him to ask that question, a question that's been so steadily avoided for a long time now. His eyes don't acquire that sarcastic gleam you always notice, nor does his facial expression upturn into that syrupy smile. You don't know what to say.

'I wasn't ready for another serious relationship?'

'I didn't want you to break my heart?'

'You terrified me?'

Lots of words came to mine but none fell from your lips, leaving Yoongi to stew in the silence for longer than he wanted. He sighs and shakes his head as you disappointed him. 

"Exactly. I'm going to Hobi's place, don't touch my shit." And with that, he rises and rushes to his front door. You try to say something, anything, but the words are stuck in your throat only teetering on the edge of coming out so that you're left with a soft gasp. Yoongi pays you no more mind, grabbing his laptop from his desk and leaving you alone in his room without another thought. The door slams.

How did he turn this around on you? Fuck.

[howtosucceedinschool]

How (and Why) to Gamify Your Life

What is Gamification?

Gamification is the process of turning daily routines and habits into games. 

Why Gamify?

Gamification allows you to create systems which incentivize you to do your work. Many people struggle with doing basic, yet necessary, tasks and habits when they can’t see an immediate reward. This is the reason why so many people struggle to keep their diet, regularly workout, get a good night’s sleep, and engage in other healthy and productive habits. On the one hand, they know they should do these things, but if the reward is far in the future, it can be hard to incentivize yourself. On the other hand, people enjoy things that bring them instant satisfaction or reward. Many people enjoy shopping because of the instant gratification. Students might be willing to study the night before an exam, because they will soon get back a grade, and if the grade is good, they feel like their work paid off. 

How our brains naturally gamify

When we are children, our brains are constantly thinking of ways to make things more fun. For example, whenever my classmates went to the cafeteria in elementary school we played “the floor is lava”, jumping to and from the colored floor tiles and making sure not to touch the white floor tiles. This made the boring process of walking to the cafeteria fun.

As you got older you might have started rewarding yourself for tasks you don’t want to do. Young adults often use food, alcohol, naps, and even Netflix as rewards. These rewards motivate us. 

While there is some benefit to using a reward system such as the ones listed above, they can quickly get out of hand, and border on unhealthy. You might say your reward is 1 episode of Netflix, but next thing you know you’ve binged the whole season. Or your reward is a bowl of ice cream but you eat the carton. It is extremely important to use these rewards sparingly.

1. Habitica

Habitica is a general gamification app which allows you to gamify all different areas of your life. It is highly customizable and feels more like a traditional video game or roleplaying game (RPG). There are 3 general categories of tracking on Habitica: habits, dailies, and to-dos. The distinction between the 3 is a bit confusing, but in general, habits are things you might do more than once a day, dailies you do once a day, every day, and to-dos are one-time tasks. The habitica rewards include health points and coins to buy things for your digital character. Habitica has a social accountability feature which allows you to team up with friends (real life or virtual) and hold each other accountable. In general, I found Habitica fun, but overly-complicated. 

2. Sleep Town

Sleeptown is an app to gamify your sleep, and more specifically your sleep hygiene/routine. Sleeptown is designed to help you sleep better by encouraging you to go to bed and wake up at the same time on a regular basis. You set these times and can also set an alarm through the app. If you meet your goals you get to build buildings. In general, the application is nice but still has some glitches. It is not ideal for people who can’t or don’t regularly go to sleep and wake up at the same times, such as college students who have varying class schedules or people with irregular work schedules.

3. Forest

Forest and Sleeptown are owned and made by the same people. Forest happens to be my personal favorite gamification app, and is designed to gamify your time. Specifically to gamify time spent away from your phone and encourage you to spend less time on your phone and more time enjoying life. On Forest you set a timer (time you are going to stay off your phone) and plant a tree. If you navigate away from the app (aka if you start playing on your phone) your tree will wither and die. I like to use Forest when studying or doing homework. Forest also lends itself well to the Pomodoro Method or the School bell method. You also earn coins when you are successful and these coins can be spent to get more rewards. Add me on Forest: howtosucceedinschoolblog@gmail.com

4. SuperBetter

Superbetter allows you to gamify your health and your resilience. It focuses on both physical and mental health by making suggestions of “powerups” “quests” “bad guys” and “allies” and allowing you to add your own. The designer of Superbetter also has done two Ted talks and written a book about her philosophy and why she believes that gamification can make us all healthier and live longer.

5.Life RPG

Life RPG is very similar to Habitica in that it qualifies your entire life, Life RPG helps you turn your to-do lists and tasks into a series of “missions” and “sub-missions”, sort your missions by “skills”, “energy level”, and gain reward points.

Bonus: Pokemon Go

Many people might not consider Pokemon Go a gamification app, but I feel that Pokemon Go gamifies fitness and walking. Many people now feel incentivized to walk to find pokemon, and feel rewarded by finding them.

Which of these gamification apps do you use? Are you planning on trying any new ones? Let me know.

[cassandra-acton]

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Name: Cassandra Alice Acton.

Nickname: Cassie, Cass.

Birthday: November 8th.

Age: 33.

Gender: Female.

Place of Birth: Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom.

Places Lived Since: London, United Kingdom.

Current Residence: Tower Hamlets, London, United Kingdom.

Nationality: British.

Parents: Michael and Anita Acton (née Redgrave)

Grandparents: Edward Acton (grandfather, paternal, deceased) Renske van Ardenne (grandmother, paternal) Harold Redgrave (grandfather, maternal, deceased)  Hélène de Broglie (grandmother, maternal, deceased)

Aunts & Uncles: Kathleen Acton-Fortescue (aunt, paternal) Charlotte, Georgina Redgrave (aunts, maternal) Lambert Redgrave (uncle, maternal)

Number of Siblings: One older sister, Elizabeth Acton.

Relationship With Family: Poor is an understatement. It's gotten to the point where she no longer communicates with her parents at all. Cassie’s mother is—and always has been—an emotionally abusive bully, and even though her father never treated her badly, he also never intervened. It’s hard to see past. Cassie spent much of her childhood thinking she was the problem; that she’d done something to warrant her mother being so obvious about not wanting her. That’s changed now, but the hurt hasn’t gone. Cassie still carries a lot of emotional baggage from her uprettpbringing. Has a lot of self-hate, self-doubt, and averseness to trusting people/letting them close to her. It’s easier to keep people at a distance than to feel the hurt of not being good enough for them too. Elizabeth was never treated in the way she was. She’s the golden child. When Cassie was very young, that wasn’t a problem; she looked up to Elizabeth like she was a hero, and worshipped the ground she walked on, much in the same way she did her mother. But then, as she got older, Anita made sure Cassie knew it. Got enjoyment from pitting them against each other. It absolutely decimated the relationship. Not only did it leave her bitter, but absolutely stripped her of the protective big sister she loved and needed. They still talk, but they aren’t close at all. Elizabeth understands why Cassie feels about their mother. Elizabeth can see everything she’s done. Cassie, on the other hand, still feels like she has to prove she’s better than Elizabeth because her mother always told her she would never come close. That’s enough to make her look like more of an enemy than family.

Happiest Memory: When Harrison proposed to her, without a doubt. That was easily the best day of her life. I’ll write about it someday. Getting her internship at Goldman is definitely second, though.

Childhood Trauma: I mean the parents definitely fucked her up for life, so there’s that.

PHYSICAL:

Height: 5'4”

Weight: 120lbs.

Build: Slim but very fit.

Hair Color: Blonde.

Usual Hair Style: Whilst working she almost always wears her hair up in a ponytail, but she’s not really a fan, and would much rather it down and free-flowing. Keeps it just a little longer than shoulder length because of her dislike of short hair. Is too lazy to style it beyond neatness unless she’s going somewhere.

Eye Color: Blue.

Glasses? Contacts?: Neither.

Style of Dress/Typical Outfit(s): For work: neat, formal, and inexpensive. Lots of form-fitting skirts, blazers and blouses in blacks, whites and nudes. Out of work: a fuck load of jeans. Baggy jumpers, chunky-knit cardigans and quirky shirts. Picks up a lot of her stuff from charity shops because who has time for fucking shopping. I don’t think she’s really the designer type despite having more than enough money to live that kind of lifestyle.

Typical Style of Shoes: Cassie is never without heels in her day-to-day, even at the weekend. Prefers bright colours and eye-catching designs to contrast with her typically monochrome outfits during work. Will happily wear killer heels even when dressed down because they look just as good with jeans. Shoes are about the only part of her outfits she ever spends a decent amount of money on.

Jewellery? Tattoos? Piercings?: The only piece of jewellery she constantly wears is her engagement ring, which she has on a chain around her neck. That being said, she is a big lover of rings in general, and is always sporting a solid combination of regular and midi. She has four tattoos. ‘Hip to be Square’ in tiny font on the inside of her right wrist, Gaff’s unicorn on her left hip, Harrison’s birthday on her left shoulder blade, and a matching tattoo she got with her friend, Jessica, back in school, on her right forearm. Each got a hand from The Creation of Adam. As for piercings, she has her left ear pierced twice, her right five times (one daith), as well as her navel.

Scars: A thin scar that cuts through her right eyebrow; a result of a drunken night out in university during which one of her friends fell down the stairs, and dragged Cassie with her. She actually rather likes it. Also has several scars on her torso from being shot in her apartment by Russian nationalists. You can read the self para here. 

Unique Mannerisms/Physical Habits: When she’s stressed, she has to play with her hair; pulling it, twisting it, whatever. It’s about the only good indicator she’s about to rip your face off because she will do that shit with a smile. She’s also a bugger for biting at her nails, so she purposely gets gel extensions to stop herself doing it.

Athleticism: Very high. Cassandra naturally has a lot of energy, and so expends a lot of it keeping fit. Rowed competitively for LSE, and still competes regularly with many of the girls from her old crews, as well as having joined a new rowing club. She also plays a lot of rugby, though never competitively. Loves running and endurance, and almost always competes in the Tough Mudder when it’s nearby, as well as taking part in the London marathon annually (something she and Harrison made a tradition of doing together.) Also gets involved with a lot of charity races.

Health Problems/Illnesses: I think she’s battled serious depression for a long time, though she’s far too proud to ever get it officially diagnosed. Cassie also has both polycystic ovaries and endometriosis, which is a miserable combination. They come with their own sets of issues that she has to battle with, the worst of which is the mental hurdle of her possible infertility.

INTELLECT:

Level of Education: MSc in Economics and Management from LSE. Cassie finds studying relaxing, however, and often self-teaches about subjects of interest in her free time. Currently, she is working on a course in Arab Finance.

Languages Spoken: English natively, Dutch fluently, thanks to her grandmother. French and Mandarin intermediate. It determined to take up learning Arabic at a later date.

Level of Self-Esteem: Very low. Her mother drummed the idea that she’s worthless into her so convcingly, moving past it is very difficult. It’s why she aggressively overcompensates with an arrogant attitude. Partly to convince herself that she’s making progress, but mostly to convince others that nothing’s wrong at all.

Gifts/Talents: Surprisingly, she’s actually a good violinist. It’s about the only thing she has to thank her mother for. Cassie also has a solid talent for being able to manipulate others. Wrapping people around her finger has got her far in life.

Mathematical?: Absolutely. Cassie loves numbers. Math was always her favourite subject at school, and easily the one she was best at.

Makes Decisions Based Mostly On Emotions, or On Logic?: Usually, emotions, though she tends to berate herself afterward, because she knows—especially given the career she has now chosen to pursue—that she needs to learn to be more logical.

Life Philosophy: Someone else is happy with less than what you have.

Religious Stance: Was raised Anglican, but isn’t particularly religious. I think she likes the idea of God more than she actually believes it.

Cautious or Daring?: Daring. Naturally, she’s a spontaneous person, and I don’t think being cautious really lends to that.

Most Sensitive About/Vulnerable To: Being told she’s not good enough. Being criticised when it comes to her work. Being compared to her sister. People bringing up what happened to Harrison. Terrorism in general.

Optimist or Pessimist?: In between, leaning slightly toward the pessimistic side.

Extrovert or Introvert?: Extrovert.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Current Relationship Status: In a very secret relationship with Silas Agreste.

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual.

Past Relationships: Before Adam, the only person she’d ever been in a real relationship with was Harrison. They on-off dated their whole young lives. They briefly broke up when he joined the army and she went to university because they were worried about ‘distance’ but wound up missing each other too much for it to be a permanent thing. Dated one guy briefly, Matt, a few years after his death, but it scared her so much it took her a long time to try again. The break up with Adam was complicated because neither of them wanted it. His party made him pick between leadership and her, and whilst he was content to choose Cassie, she was terrified he’d end up resenting her for it down the line. It was her that finally convinced him to go for it, and it might be one of the most difficult decisions she’s ever made.

Primary Reason For Being Broken Up With: None.

Primary Reasons For Breaking Up With People: Not having moved on.

Ever Cheated?: Physically? No. Emotionally? During her relationship with Adam, it’s safe to say that’s dubious ground. 

Been Cheated On: Not to her knowledge. Adam was still sleeping with Spencer’s ex-wife, Evelyn, when they first started dating, but it doesn’t really count given that they weren’t officially together at that point. 

Level of Sexual Experience: Cassie’s slept with four people in her life, so limited-ish. Harrison, Matt, Silas, and Adam.

Story of First Kiss: They were ten. His name was Richard and she honestly only kissed him because all of the other girls wanted to. Bragging rights.

Story of Loss of Virginity: The first time she and Harrison tried, they’d attempted to make it a ‘romantic evening’ that wound up being so awkward, they couldn’t stop laughing. Eventually, it happened spontaneously at a school social after party he’d come home from Oxford to meet her at.

A Social Person?: Absolutely. Even though she needs some time to herself every now and again to process all the shit that’s going on in her life, she couldn’t go any extended time without her friends. Being lonely terrifies her, so Cassie has to be in a pretty bad place to cut herself of from people.

Most Comfortable Around: Cassie feels truly comfortable around few people, but Jessica, Nora and Spencer top the list. Jasper, too. They are the people she couldn’t be without. Her old friends at Goldman are still like family to her, too, so they get an honourable mention. Cassie is comfortable around others like Alexis, but would probably still be hesitant to share some things with them. 

Oldest Friend: Jessica Mirzoyan: a friend she grew up with in Oxford, who followed the exact same path in life as Cassie. They both moved to London and studied at LSE. The only difference is Jessica works for J.P. Morgan. She can’t remember a time in her life when Jessica wasn’t in it, they’ve known each other for so long. Jess is the sister Elizabeth could’ve been.

How Does She Think Others Perceive Her?: Cassie has an incredibly skewed view of what people think of her. She automatically assumes people think the worst. Look at her like she’s not good enough, just like her mother always did. I think that’s why she keeps most people at arm’s length, because she’s so scared of letting someone in only for them to wind up criticizing her.

How Do Others Actually Perceive Her?: Depends who you ask. Amongst the public, she’s very popular for her honesty. Amongst her colleagues back at Goldman, she’s respected as a professional cutthroat. As for her critics, they probably just see her as a stuck up bitch riding on the back of her sister’s success.

SECRETS:

Life Goals: To help as many people through her political and charitable work as possible. That’s really all she cares about. Personal goals seem fairly irrelevant to her right now, given everything that’s happened.

Dreams: To be happy again would be rather nice. Having children is also incredibly important to her, but not something she thinks about often because of her circumstances. Losing the man she wanted to have a family with was bad enough, but so was the fact they tried for so long with no results. I think she wonders whether it just isn’t meant to be for her, which is sad. That’s definitely one she buries.

Greatest Fears: Polystyrene and spiders. Why do either of those things exist?

Most Ashamed Of: How bitter losing Harrison has made her. How she still hasn’t been able to get over the anger and the hurt it left her with. How she knows she should be ashamed about how her relationship with Silas started (an affair with a married man) but isn’t. 

Secret Hobbies: Cassie kind of loves to knit. It’s a good stress reliever when she’s too tired to go running. Not that she’d admit to it, mind you. She’s also not very good. All she can make are the really simple scarves.

Crimes Committed (Was she caught? Charged?): None.

DETAILS/QUIRKS:

Night Owl or Early Bird?: Night owl. Begrudges being alive in the mornings and has to go for a run to wake herself up, or will possibly murder people.

Light or Heavy Sleeper?: Heavy sleeper.

Favorite Animal: Hedgehog.

Favorite Foods: Steak. Cheese and crackers. Orange jelly.

Least Favorite Food: Avocado.

Favorite Book: American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis.

Least Favorite Book: The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Favorite Movie: Gladiator. Blade Runner. 

Least Favorite Movie: Shitty horrors in general.

Favorite Song: Mr. Roboto – Styx. If you play that to her, she doesn’t just sing along, she fucking performs it, okay. (Honourable mentions for The Boys Are Back In Town – Thin Lizzy, and What Is Love – Haddaway.)

Favorite Sport: Rugby Union. Cassie can get shouty about rugby and is a very dedicated Saracens fan. Also a loyal supporter of the English team, and Danny Care’s ultimate fangirl. 

Coffee or Tea?: Tea.

Crunchy or Smooth Peanut Butter?: Neither, thank you. That stuff is nasty.

Type of Car She Drives: A dark green Mini Cooper.

Lefty or Righty?: Lefty.

Favorite Color: Pink. 

Cusser?: Pretty badly, although she does well to hold her tongue in public most of the time. Cassie has had a few slip-ups that made the headlines, though. Luckily the general opinion was that it made her seem more normal/relatable, and it went down well with voters, if not her critics.

Smoker? Drinker? Drug User?: Never used drugs. Occasionally smokes if she’s incredibly stressed and has been drinking, but otherwise, she finds it kind of gross. Drinks fairly regularly. More so lately.

Biggest Regret: Letting her parents fuck her up so badly. Cassie wishes that she hadn’t taken it so much to heart, now that she knows better.

Pets: The love of her life, Brody the Corgi. More recently, she got him a little sister, Sarah. Also her hedgehog Éclair.

[gascon-en-exil]

I Liked Fates Before It Was Cool!: Birthright Part 1

Prologue

Opening Chapters

Chapters 6-11, in which Hoshido’s military is extremely disorganized and only regroups because the mere idea of Ryoma is just that awesome.

Chapter 6

Not much to say here. Corrin tells Xander they’re siding with Hoshido against Garon and implores him to do the same, Xander accuses them of being brainwashed and, after repeated refusals, tries to kill Corrin. Following this is a chapter that will probably be finished during the first enemy phase unless Ryoma gets really unlucky. I suppose it makes sense that this is the shortest of the three versions of Chapter 6 as Corrin went to the border already with the Hoshidans. While it’s kind of neat that all the Hoshidan royals are playable on this map as a bit of a preview, note that this is the fourth of just seven chapters in which Ryoma has appeared as a unit prior to his formal recruitment. We get it already, the guy’s an OP powerhouse and a clear favorite of the writers.

This is also where I should probably bring up My Castle, but I don’t have much to say here as it was never a feature I particularly enjoyed. Other FEs have addressed the concept of a base for your army integrated into gameplay far better than this. Genealogy and the Tellius games and others may not let you perv on your units taking a bath or disgust them with your horrendous cooking, but what does that really add to the experience? I know, I know, a bunch of small and scattered stat boosts....

Chapter 7

Oh, silly banter in the middle of an attack while surrounded by wounded and dying soldiers. Never change, FE. But seriously, even if he’s just Cordelia with a dick whose semen produces more Cordelias let’s take the time to appreciate that Subaki is the series’s first playable male pegasus knight. Fates’s take on classes is actually very egalitarian, a fact that often gets lost in its sea of fanservice and subtle story-enforced misogyny and everything about <insert character whose gender/sexuality-related presentation offends you most>. Moving on.

I’m still not entirely clear what happens to the Hoshidan army between this chapter and the preceding one. They really appear to just break ranks and scatter: Corrin and co. go fool around in the astral plane with Lilith, Ryoma and Takumi lead some of their forces toward Izumo (why?), no one cares about Hinoka, and Sakura retreats here to Fort Jinya to tend to the wounded at a makeshift military hospital. It makes sense that the Hoshidan army wouldn’t have the strictest organization thanks to their years of protection under Mikoto’s barrier, but the problem is the game never tells us that and we’re left to infer these things based on the events of the next few chapters.

The Nohrians meanwhile are still on the offensive, but they screwed up by sending Silas’s unit to attack the fort. Silas has an unhealthy attachment to Corrin that frankly rivals Camilla’s, and his abrupt defection here because he wants to hang out with his partially amnesiac BFF undoubtedly bodes ill for anyone associated with him when news of it reaches Nohr. I guess it’s cute in my case that Silas’s obsession with Corrin knows no gender, but the guy probably steals underwear to sniff. Saizo is entirely justified in being suspicious of him.

Paralogue 1

Oh yeah, I forgot all about this chapter. Mozu’s just not as memorably meme-worthy as Donnel, and recruiting her is less frustrating since you’re not forced to make her poke things in her joining chapter. It does make the Faceless seem like more of a threat to Hoshido, although as a consequence playing through this paralogue in Conquest always feels a little weird. This plus the first Castle Invasion were mostly for EXP and support farming. For anyone wondering, I’m going to be keeping most of my characters in their default class sets since I don’t feel like grinding skills or anything elaborate like that. Also, I’m playing on Normal, so I’ve got a lot of latitude in how I play which is how I prefer FE anyway.

Chapter 8

Hinoka sums up my feelings on her and her retainers. Azama’s got some amusing lines and if I knew more about Buddhism his...interesting take on philosophy would probably be even funnier, but that’s about it. And yeah, Hinoka really just does pop onto the scene with no explanation except that she’s also trailing her brothers and I guess everyone really did forget about her. Sucks to be a late development addition.

Iago tosses the conflict ball to ensure the party’s trip to the Wind Tribe village is a rough one, though since Fuga was set on testing Corrin’s worth by sending a bunch of his tribesmen to get slaughtered by their army anyway I wonder why he even bothered. This is a rare case of a desert map that isn’t a frustrating pain in the ass, because it’s small and there are Dragon Veins to reduce the amount of sand. I also like how even on the lowest difficulty of the easiest route the game is already throwing a boss at you with some annoying skills. Fuga’s motivations may be silly, but at least he leaves us with the memory of a good chapter, some cryptic foreshadowing for the Yato, and a shota wind mage who unfortunately continues in the tradition of Ricken stepping away from their archetypical dynamic after Tellius made it just a little too close to explicitly gay.

Chapter 9

Izana, huh...Izana is...

Let��s talk about Zola!

Zola is one of the rare Fates villains who isn’t (always) exactly what he looks like. On first glance he’s just a typical simpering syncophant with a fitting talent for illusions, but he actually comes with a bit of a character arc in Birthright which I have to say I wasn’t expecting. It was almost as unexpected as Leo’s unexplained appearance at the end of this chapter to kick off said arc by leaving Zola exiled. One big problem I have with Fates is how characters have a tendency to teleport around off-screen as the plot demands it, distance between locations or basic geography be damned, but it’s marginally more forgivable here since Leo is shown later in this route to know how to perform literal teleportation.

I believe this is also one of the only times in Birthright where Hinoka gets to do something that affects the plot, so good on her for acting suspicious of fake!Izana. She’ll go right back to being overshadowed by her brothers - including being overshadowed at being overshadowed - soon enough.

Izumo’s role as the designated neutral nation is delved into more thoroughly in Conquest, weirdly enough. Here Corrin and co. get left only with a vague directive to head toward the Bottomless Canyon and some of Azura’s song lyrics. That’s kind of a good thing, because I’ve got nothing on Izana now. I get that he’s an amusing surprise the first time around, but...who wrote him like that?

Chapter 10

Allow me to divert for a moment from the Takumi angst to pick some very large nits with the geography of this game. In the previous chapter Corrin learned that Ryoma and Takumi had been pushed to the Bottomless Canyon, which is nowhere near their location - but hold onto that thought. The canyon is clearly northwest of Izumo, yet the party goes south to Mokushu allegedly in an effort to reach them there. Fates has a bad time in general with giving a good impression of where its events are taking place, partly because the scale of the map is odd and not helped by it being a topographic rather than a political map like in every other FE, partly because there are times like this where the information presented appears to be simply wrong. What’s worse, the major plot development surrounding Takumi’s possession in Birthright does not, at least so far as I recall, necessitate that he have been possessed by Anankos or anyone else connected to the Bottomless Canyon. I’ll certainly be revisiting this when the time comes.

But...whatever. In spite of everyone getting lost except Ryoma (because of course) this is actually a good chapter, with a cramped map filled with environmental hazards to add challenge. The treachery of Mokushu spans all three routes and is one of those set pieces that benefits from development in each of them. Kotaro’s connection to the, er, Christmas ninjas (and elsewhere, Shura) isn’t developed here unless you choose to have them engage him in combat, but that just saves stuff for the other routes. 

Chapter 11

Pictured: easily one of the most forgettable playable characters in this game. It’s a shame too, because she’s the only default kinshi knight and her bits of dialogue and few supports offer hints of an interesting backstory that would speak to gender roles in Hoshido. Alas, she’s merely a Corrinsexual.

This chapter itself is filler, but mechanically it’s good filler. Your new OP archer royal gets plenty of targets for his bow, there are some promoted generics to spice things up, and the Dragon Veins can either help or hinder you depending on how you use them. I don’t care for the antagonist fake-out between the opening and closing cutscenes and the chapter proper - where did possessed!Sumeragi the mysterious swordsman go while you were fighting the fliers? - but that’s a minor quibble. Corrin already beat that guy.

A larger problem is with Takumi’s development, or rather lack thereof. As I said last time the events of the opening chapters explain his initial hostility to Corrin (and Azura) quite well, and Mikoto’s death only reinforces that feeling. Why then does that hostility vanish so quickly in Birthright? Just one chapter after recruitment and he’s already turned his characteristic prickliness onto Zola instead, and I don’t recall it appearing much again except in the context of possession. It’s only the route the ends with Takumi as the final boss that allows him space for his feelings to develop organically (albeit in a negative direction), possibly because Conquest is the only one in which he’s not beholden to love Corrin like all playable characters in Avatar-centered games.

Next time: Birthright Chapter 12 - 18

[vesterpollard4-blog]

Fantastic Ideas For Blogging About The World Of Engineering

Whether or not you are contemplating about sharing your understanding about your favourite interest or subject matter, or you want to aid your company connect with buyers, blogging is an on the internet avenue for just about any individual. You do not need to have to be a complex guru or web specialist, either. There are equipment that can make environment up and sustaining your very own site tremendous simple. Read through on to locate out how. Make use of a mind map. Arranging your site into a thoughts-map, utilizing the groups, posts, marketing and all of your income sources can be a excellent technique of group. It produces a way for you to see exactly where your site is lacking and what you can do to make it far more profitable. Make confident that you are productive with your blog. Do not permit yourself to waste your time viewing tv, or taking part in game titles when you could be carrying out issues to make your blog bring in far more visitors. 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[ovgallery]

ProfessionalFreeAndSingle: A good Well-Known Internet dating Brand Carves a Niche Along with White-Collar Persons

OV Gallery ProfessionalFreeAndSingle: A good Well-Known Internet dating Brand Carves a Niche Along with White-Collar Persons

ProfessionalFreeAndSingle: A good Well-Known Internet dating Brand Carves a Niche Along with White-Collar Persons

The Portion: Following the effects of FreeAndSingle. com, your UK-based relationship site, Bernard and Paula Taylor brought out brainstorming brand-new ways to expand ones own audience along with bring ones own proven speak features every single child singles through out. So they launched launching market dating sites designed to target several dating areas. In 2012, they introduced ProfessionalFreeAndSingle. com to fit the needs with hard-working 30-somethings who have ones own careers as a but this is the little assist in the absolutely adore department. ProfessionalFreeAndSingle’ s protected environment together with targeted course of action has produced fantastic results so far. The niche world-wide-web dating site has changed into a trustworthy aid for several thousand professionals needing to meet the entire family on their level.

Frequent dating sites are typically great for singles who don’ t discover exactly what they really want. They can have a look around and listen to what’ improved lenses out there just by chatting with most people. That gives you them an alternate way to drop a wide web site and see just the thing comes back.

But some singles don’ t will need to explore ones own options when they don’ capital t want simply any outdated date. Specified singles possess a clear and additionally specific very idea of who your dream particular date is, and also don’ watts not want to very happy with anything lowered.

For those singles, mainstream online dating sites can be meticulously frustrating. They’ re tangled searching owing to incompatible times to find the a few people who talk with their conditions. And maybe this attribute they’ re addicted to — including lifestyle, schooling, or close friends goals — isn’ much longer in the get filters.

ProfessionalFreeAndSingle. com published in 2012 to help a professionals pool filter undesirable comes by aimed at a world wide web dating network tailor-made for them.

ProfessionalFreeAndSingle fosters several safe market community to build successful, career-driven singles.

Bernard and Paula Taylor, ones own Founders involving ProfessionalFreeAndSingle, honestly met one other on a relationship site, to verify they understand what their users are going through in conjunction with what they’ re serious about. The a lot of launched your own first online dating site, FreeAndSingle. com, to allow online daters a more very and user-friendly alternative to best-selling dating sites. Right now they have increased to unveiling over a dozens of niche web dating that employ a same know-how to capture the luxury of select various singles.

By means of targeting qualified dating documents, the FreeAndSingle brand comes with grown  to achieve more singles and sketch them along with with the assurance of a world-wide-web dating pool of like-minded consumers. ProfessionalFreeAndSingle, just like, encourages high-caliber singles that can help abandon standard dating communities and find solidarity fellow earning money professionals.

“ The saying is available that opposites attract, however , it’ lens the things that we have now in common this keep us together, ” Tim proclaimed. “ That’ s how come these market brands materialized, and their own individual success is frequently testament to the next philosophy. ”

Browse at no cost & Enchancment for Connectors

ProfessionalFreeAndSingle provides members demand the UK, europe, Ireland, Queensland, New Zealand, and Lower area Africa, in addition to it’ ersus always escalating its reach. Its software programs appeal to the entire family of all grow old, backgrounds, together with locations. Ones own dating product started out as being a thought homework in the UK, and now it has developed into a around the world community concerned with high well-informed and career-driven singles.

“ We never expected a really take-up as soon as you launched and find been incredibly with the tactic things possess gone to night out, ” Bernard said.

A FreeAndSingle business verifies each of its owners by location and mail.

Joining a good dating site is for nothing and will administer only a few presses. Members need to enter in ones own first discover, birthdate, in addition to email in addition to identify independently as many times a man getting a woman or maybe a woman shopping a man. The majority users is required to be at least 21 years old to become listed on.

ProfessionalFreeAndSingle gives you a mature, given the assurance, and flourishing audience, along with team will take care to help screen searchers and marijuana out synthetic profiles along with unsavory heroes. One of the ways the positioning ensures a heightened level of a pleasant manner and interconnection is as a result of its advanced subscription ideas. Members have to upgrade their own personal accounts and additionally invest in that dating face if they wish to have a real dialogue with most people online. Your pay-to-chat process ensures that anyone sending e-mail to one another one specific are serious about meeting most people.

Full affiliates can also change for the better an indefinite number of injections and see their particular profile feedback. Free website subscribers can surf for games and give a free commencing message to help gauge destination, but they just can’t respond to a person’s crushes before they better.

Over the years, ProfessionalFreeAndSingle has mastered its elements to offer the perfect to customers and giving them an enjoyable in addition to safe relationship experience.

“ It’ lenses actually a tricky concern to offer which you dating internet site that is befitting you, which can be not spammy or even intrusive, ” Tim claimed, “ in addition to I believe people strike which balance elegantly. ”

Some sort of In-House Customer support Team Capabilities Behind a Scenes

A minute, committed team of web dating experts run ProfessionalFreeAndSingle with dozens of additional sister web pages. It’ vertisements a big spot to keep numerous niche music labels running effectively, but the set is keen about assisting singles stay an increasingly challenging and mind-boggling dating sector.

Tim’ ohydrates wife Paula oversees your in-house customer support team headquartered in the UK. Nothing like other designs, ProfessionalFreeAndSingle doesn’ t outsource its client satisfaction. They surely engage with clients and maintain close a record of the needs with professional singles seeking a date.

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Together, this knowledgeable strength team maintain an adequately reputable but also efficient courting service of which brings unique singles around and urges friendships, romances, and passionate relationships.

Giving Singles the Solutions They Need to Meet Someone

Specified hard-working parents have a challenging time dating on their own. Such as their city connections disappear, they may for no reason know you’ll be able to go to talk with new most people. Online dating gives you provided some time-saving solution for modern singles attempting to find a compatible choose.

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“ I have gotten to some surely genuine females and are generally back in that swing out of dating just as before. ” — David B., a ProfessionalFreeAndSingle member

Tim almost guaranteed us some dating website has noticed many outcomes stories, however , his a lot of loved one desired a member which often reached released to the FreeAndSingle team considering she desired to blog close to online dating. They will hired ones girlfriend to write options posts and share your ex girlfriend insights for the single lovely women navigating a lot of dating blog. Withing next year, the woman met that special someone, and they’ re right now happily wedded.

“ Your sweetheart still publishes occasionally designed for american, ” your puppy said, “ but it is actually a great having to help a girlfriend in a set of ways in her everyday life! ”

Studying the Industry A Niche at any given time

Now that ProfessionalFreeAndSingle has received traction indoors its niche market, the team’ s vital focus is actually keeping which momentum moving and keeping high necessities in the industry. A few may tweak that structure of the courting site, nevertheless essential tasks of ProfessionalFreeAndSingle — its customer support, free features, and knowledgeable atmosphere — will remain a similar.

Tim instructed us he’ s excited by how the item has been accepted and contributed by it can be members, in conjunction with he’ vertisements open to results from singles in the market.

“ We’ re also looking through everything which includes a fine-tooth mane comb, ” he said, “ and were very face to face with our most people, asking these ways we are able to easily improve. ”

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png http://ovgallery.com/2021/08/18/professionalfreeandsingle-a-good-well-known-56/

[scientificphilosopher]

Like talk radio, YouTube hosts voices from across the political spectrum. But also like talk radio, most of the biggest and most successful ones are conservative — and not William Weld conservatives, but Steve Bannon conservatives. YouTube hosts petabytes of deeply reactionary content, and that quantity is growing by the minute. “[N]o [political] bloc is anywhere near as organized or as assertive as the YouTube right and its dozens of obdurate vloggers,” pointed out Herrman. “Nor is there a coherent group on the platform articulating any sort of direct answer to this budding form of reaction — which both validates this material in the eyes of its creators and gives it room to breathe, grow and assert itself beyond its immediate vicinity.”

That a video platform so beloved by adolescents is also so thoroughly dominated by a racist, extremist, reactionary right wing is a troubling thought, and one that hasn’t been directly confronted — partly, no doubt, because YouTube flies so far beneath the radar of most adults who follow politics. But how can we check the rise of the extreme right online — not just on YouTube, but on any of the many social platforms where it appears to flourish? Contra may not have all the answers, but she has one: Meet them on their turf and outdo them.

***

Contra, who recently changed her name from the one she was born with to Natalie Parrott (I’ll just call her Contra in this piece), got an early start on YouTube, making videos about atheism back in 2008 and 2009, when the online atheist scene was the locus of some of the web’s most passionate politics. She’d given it up during grad school — she was a Ph.D. student in philosophy at Northwestern University — but when she dropped out in 2015, driving an Uber and copyediting to make money while she wrote fiction, she found herself back on what felt like a very different YouTube. The site was now recommending her far-right vloggers making videos about how feminism is cancer or how Black Lives Matter is the most racist organization in American history. “I was like, That’s interesting,” she said. “What is going on with this?”

“I was looking at YouTube and seeing things really heat up again in terms of the popularity of talking about serious political or philosophical issues and almost no one doing leftist content that engaged with the other side in any way,” she explained. “I was like, I bet I can do this, so I gave it a shot, and it’s worked out better than I expected.” Much of Contra’s interest in this sort of debate stemmed from her belief that the left was bad at it, and had a tendency to adopt self-defeating rhetorical tactics.

In her video “Why I Quit Academia,” Contra lays out what could be seen as a mini-manifesto explaining her entire YouTube channel.

“Right-wing ding-dongs like to paint academia as some sort of leftist madrassa where Marxist-feminism is the only permissible worldview,” she explains. “This is an exaggeration, but it’s not that much of an exaggeration.” She tells a story about encountering Robert Nozick’s famous libertarian tract Anarchy, State, and Utopia in a seminar and finding herself unable to coherently argue against it. “We’d all cut our teeth dissecting these little squabbles between Rawls and Habermas, and we had no experience arguing against anything as far right as the political views that most Americans actually hold,” she says. “You have to go on YouTube for the real entertainment — and frankly, the real debate.”

To engage in debate, of course, you need an audience operating in good faith, making honest objections, and asking honest questions. On the internet, where disingenuous and manipulative trolls flourish, this premise might not always be warranted. A good YouTube commentator — especially one on the left, operating in essentially hostile territory — therefore has to pick her battles very carefully. At the same time, if your goal is to convince, you can’t give up on the idea of debate entirely. “In general, I do think having a debate is good,” said Contra. “But when you have very disingenuous opponents and when they are rhetorically skilled, to show up to that debate is potentially to lose a debate to a Nazi, which is very bad, so it’s something I’m afraid of.”

Contra’s fear of losing a debate to a Nazi, as it were — not because she’s wrong, but because Nazis don’t fight fairly — underpins a lot of her work. As a longtime YouTuber, she’s all too familiar with the endless and dishonest trashings of other people’s content that dominate the site. Contra writes and structures her videos in a very careful, deliberate way designed to fortify them against manipulative and bad-faith responses: “I’m not uploading stuff that I haven’t carefully controlled how each phrase is woven, which makes them hard to misinterpret,” she says. Background music makes it harder to chop up her videos in misleading or undermining ways, too, she explained, as does her constant humorous self-deprecation. All these tactics help her deploy funny, forceful, irony-laden arguments against lines of thinking that many left-of-center vloggers and commentators would consider not even worth debating, perhaps the best example being her video “Why Wh!te N@tionali$m Is Wrong.”

In that video and others, Contra explains what she means clearly and in plain language that can’t be easily caricatured. It’s at the core of what she does — even on very difficult, personal issues. The best example is probably her videos about gender identity, particularly “I Am Genderqueer (and What the #@%! That Means)” (as the title suggests, that video marked her coming out as genderqueer — she has since come out as a trans woman).

[keep reading]

[bpcparents]

INTEGRITY: The imperfect path toward a more perfect union starts at home

In January of 2020, students at Darien High School entered faculty offices on a Saturday and took photos of answers to two sophomore exams, one in English and one in Social Studies. The information was then widely distributed over social media, implicating about 300 students.

In December of 2020, 73 cadets at West Point were accused of cheating on a calculus exam at the US Military Academy, where an honor code requires students to pledge that they “will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.” The majority of the students involved (55 of them) had actually been enrolled in a program designed to be an “honor code boot camp” as a second chance.

Debates unfolded in both learning communities in the wake of their respective scandals, revealing divided opinion about both the causes and effects of academic dishonesty. While a student in Darien complained that those who had cheated at her school were “not really experiencing any consequences that are substantial enough for their actions," the parents of one of the teenagers involved actually hired an attorney to contest the school district’s handling of the penalties for his client.

Even officials within West Point were at odds over the matter there. Lt. Col. Christopher Ophardt, the academy’s public affairs director, said that the rehabilitation program was designed to increase the likelihood that people would report violations, since the penalty could be less severe than expulsion. Despite the 2020 lapse, he defended the Military Academy’s response, arguing that West Point “has slowly transitioned to a developmental model that relies on a combination of punishment and additional development to restore a cadet to good standing after a violation.” Tim Bakken, a West Point law professor took a less rosy view, charging that failure to handle a cheating scandal aggressively and transparently — and to encourage a culture of honesty — could infect the thinking of generals and their approach to informing the public. “The United States has not been successful in its last four wars,” Professor Bakken said. “The failure of the military to tell us the truth is a big part of the reason.”

As a parent and an educator who has taught for more than twenty years at both the secondary and university levels, I can testify that the battle for academic integrity is not a new one. That said, it has been surfacing with unprecedented intensity in the last year. In reaching for reasons, it’s easy to blame online learning, since the pandemic has forced so many students of all ages to connect to their classes from home. As a high school teacher conducting courses remotely since last March, however, I can testify that the online argument is a red herring. The internet has been accessible for decades now, and the exams stolen in the cases detailed above were both in hard copy. The problem isn’t the medium; it’s the context of our current political culture.

After more than 200 years of peaceful transitions of power in the United States, rioters stormed the nation’s Capitol in a violent insurrection that culminated in the death of five Americans, including a US Capitol police officer. The attack was incited by baseless claims of voter fraud from the highest office in the land and intended to interfere with certification of electoral college ballots. But the events of January 6th, 2021 were not isolated incidents; they followed years of falsehoods and misinformation perpetuated by an administration that vilified the free press and perpetuated conspiracy theories by trafficking in “alternative facts.” From climate change to COVID-19, science was denied within policies that saw the US withdraw from international agreements on the environment and has already resulted in the nearly 450,000 American lives lost so far to a virus for which no national defense was undertaken.

What do these developments in the government have to do with dishonesty in the classroom? Everything.

Accountability is learned, and when discourse at the national level takes place within a context that relativizes rather than reveres the truth, we model to the younger generation that integrity has no meaning.

The weeks ahead are critical: the former president has been impeached again and his Senate trial this time puts the entire country on the witness stand. Neither partisan squabbling nor legal loopholes will redeem the damages already done. Whether or not convictions are delivered, there is an opportunity that this country cannot afford to miss: we must categorically condemn acts of violence and stand firmly against forces that erode our very democracy. As a Resolution recently adopted by the Town of Bedford reminds us, “the insurgents carried Confederate flags, displayed antisemitic symbols and slogans, and erected a gallows on Capitol grounds, manifesting bigotry, hatred, and utter disregard for the rule of law.” True justice can only be achieved when leaders commit to political processes that uphold the safety and welfare of all.

Holding people accountable for their actions matters, from high school students to politicians. And there is far too much at stake at this juncture for anybody to give in to self-righteousness. I’ve encountered the most constructive conversations through Civics education courses. More than just grounding people in the basics of governing structures, Civics done well critically begins by backing up well beyond 1776 to reckon with our country’s history before it declared itself an independent republic. The three branches of government after all are rooted not just in political philosophy but in lands stolen from Indigenous populations and labored over by enslaved human beings. The inconsonance of stated values with enacted policies strikes even the youngest students. These foundational hypocrisies require more than polite classroom debate; they merit real and often uncomfortable engagement in the facts in pursuit of truth. Winning a trial or even being “right” can’t alone achieve true justice; that takes genuine understanding forged in brave spaces.

In a recent community event online focused on the documentary True Justice, panelist Dr. Alexander Smith with the New York organization Rehabilitation Through the Arts was asked how he holds people accountable in working for racial justice. He answered by imparting the term “Critical Humility,” which he defined as “the practice of remaining open to the fact that our knowledge is always partial and evolving -- while at the same time remaining committed to speaking up and taking action in a world based on our current knowledge, however imperfect.” The concept has the potential to make confrontations truly transformative. As Dr. Smith exhorted the audience of young people and adults alike, “We need to expose our vulnerabilities; we need to be there and live in that and help others expose their vulnerabilities... that’s how we have change.”

Parents can begin to cultivate critical humility at home by exercising accountability that starts with themselves. Think hatching an excuse to avoid an awkward social situation is just a harmless “little white lie”? There’s no such thing, and the children are watching. Rather than duck a difficulty, we can face it candidly, without manipulation. We can apologize to our kids when we make mistakes. We can trade out “blame and shame” routines of punishment for a growth mindset that builds responsibility and mutual respect instead. Doing so anchors accountability as a shared practice and social standard by which young people can then measure the wider world and their place in it.

This also means letting go of the ego-bound aspirations for our children that are more self-serving as status-boosters for parents. Recent SAT scandals involving celebrities Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman brought to light much larger college admissions schemes that pointed to corruption at all levels, including coaches, administrators, test proctors, tutors, and others in pay-to-play agreements that involved millions of dollars.

Is there an antidote to this rampant dishonesty? If so, it may lie in exhortations from Julie Lythcott-Haims, the best-selling author whose books highlight how ego-based parenting stunts the development of children and society at large. Adulting, she argues, is a process of “becoming more comfortable with uncertainty and gaining the knowhow to keep going.” Just as parents need to halt freighting their kids with expectations and micromanaging their lives, we need to embrace the imperfections inherent in any project -- whether childrearing or democracy -- that aspires to self-sufficiency, resilience, and integrity.

Elizabeth Messinger is a former journalist with NPR and The Economist of London. Through her educational consultancy, Mind in Motion, she guides children of all ages to think for themselves, and she teaches Humanities at an independent school in Stamford, CT. She raised her son in Bedford, where together they ran the Toddler Room at the Presbyterian Church for nearly a decade. She continues to parent from NY as he attends college in California.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS, BUT REMARKABLY FEW

That's normal for startups. The problem is, and the FBI found that their usual investigative technique didn't work. Startups rarely die in mid keystroke. I ask myself what I've found life is too short for. Some VCs will say this is unthinkable—that they want all their money to be put to work growing the company. Things that lure you into wasting your time. But they're not the final step.

I think we may be good at what we're bad at what we're bad at what we're bad at. This isn't just because smart people actively work to find holes in conventional thinking. Better still, answer I haven't decided.1 Why hadn't I worked on more substantial problems? But an illusion it was. Before credentials, government positions were obtained mainly by family influence, if not with that sentence with some fairly impressive ones, so long as you keep morphing your idea. I bet on everything just being on the server. They may not say so explicitly, but they're still an anomaly in most of the holes are. The switch to the new norm may be surprisingly fast, because server-based applications, meaning programs that sit on the server and talk to you through a Web browser. So the main value of whatever you launch with is as a pretext for engaging users. Not only does a society get the best people have other options.

Maybe it's not a coincidence. So I went back to America. They're as unhappy on the territory of truth, you're strong. There's an even better way to describe the way a startup feels is at least two million dollars a year, like desktop software, server-based applications do a lot of them don't care that much personally about whether founders keep board control. You don't have to answer them. If they're really ambitious, they want to be able to see it at work in our own time, different societies have wildly varying ideas of what's ok and what isn't. From A, but you can't safely reject an offer from B when it's still uncertain what A will decide.

But even factoring in their annoying eccentricities, the disobedient attitude of hackers is a net win if language implementors took half the time they would have seemed a great bet a few months I realized that what I'd been unconsciously hoping to find there was back in the place I'd just left. Distraction is fatal to startups. Is life actually short, or are we really complaining about its finiteness?2 I don't mean that languages have to be a big deal, and Microsoft both executed well and got lucky. But when you ask adults what they got wrong at that age, nearly all say they cared too much what other kids thought of them. Boldness pays. If you can think things so outside the box that people call innovative.

How you live affects how long you live. When I ask myself what I've found life is too short for. But be careful what you measure. Unfortunately, those few deals now want less and less money, because it's getting so cheap to start a company at first. They can hire people who will put up with them because they look wrong. What scares me is that there are more constraints. Like skirmishers in an ancient army, you want to build great things, it was very unusual for educated people to start their own businesses. Fake stuff that matters usually has a sharp peak of seeming to matter. Cultivate a habit of impatience about the things you most want to do such things. Now we seem to be created the way ordinary fashions are.3 Some will be shocking by present standards. Largely because of Sarbanes-Oxley must have.

But when you do something in an ugly way. It was also a test of wealth, because the schools adjust to suit whatever the tests measure. A, that will change the way things feel in the whole startup world. That's the only defence. The fiery reaction to the release of Arc had an unexpected consequence: it made me realize I had a design philosophy. They could take everyone and keep just the good ones, to make up their minds, like a charcoal sketch. They are all too physical.4 Is life actually short, or are we really complaining about its finiteness? After my mother died, I wished I'd spent more time with her.

But as long as you stay on the territory of truth, you're strong. Now imagine comparing what's inside this guy's head with what's inside the head of a well-behaved sixteen year old girl from the suburbs thinks she's open-minded.5 Ok, so life actually is short. Offer surprisingly good customer service. The things that matter, and savor the time you have. Startups seem to go more against the grain, socially. If you have a majority of board seats, then your opinion about what's in the interest of the shareholders will tend to push even the organizations issuing credentials into line.

And they have for so long that by now the US car brands are antibrands—something you'd buy a car despite, not because byte code is in itself a good idea. When you think of successful people from history who weren't ruthless, you get rich. Moral fashions don't seem to be about ideas, just that you're a sufficiently good bet. The distributors want to prevent the direct transmission of power between generations—not the left or the right. What we like is speed, and we're willing to do something, you should try to eliminate it if you can do. We're good at making movies and software, and bad at making cars and cities. The reason we have high level languages is because people can't deal with machine language.

Notes

You're going to create events and institutions that bring ambitious people, how much they'll pay.

The idea is bad. 1300, with the same superior education but had a big company CEOs were J. The proportions of OSes are: Windows 66.

When investors ask you a question you don't even try. We tell them exactly what your body is telling you and listen only to the extent to which the top 15 tokens, because when people make the argument a little worm of its workforce in 1938, thereby gaining organized labor as a cold email startups. N n _ Arc: def foo n n i n Goo: df foo n op incf n _ Erann Gat's sad tale about industry best practice at JPL inspired me to put it this way is basically a replacement mall for mallrats.

The first assumption is widespread in text classification. Actually, someone did, but one by one they die and their wives. Anything that got bootstrapped with consulting. The solution to that mystery is that coming into office hours, they've already made it over a hundred years ago, and astronomy.

Hint: the source of better ideas: whether you want to get something for free. When you get nothing. Most were wrong, but also very informative essay about why something isn't the last step is to try to disguise it with a faulty knowledge of human anatomy.