#aunt passed of stage 4 lung cancer

[glenandbrisketpowellsdogpack]

Bittersweet Week, The Good News/Bad News 50/50 Type Of Week

I'll start with The Bad News First. I think I first heard of My now Late Aunt's Lung Cancer Diagnosis a few days before or after Christmas. She went in and found out she had Stage 4 Lung Cancer. It was caught way too late which is why she didn't want to bother with chemo or be in hospice. I don't think she was in pain or was for long and she passed yesterday. I have no idea about funeral arrangements yet.

So Some Good News ss, I Have A Job Interview on Friday. It's With Another Doggie DayCare Company. Don't get me wrong, I Love where I currently work, but Unfortunately, My Manager Is Just Suddenly Randomly Scheduling Me On Slow Days, Cuts My Hours. It also now is interfering with some already made plans. I was Supposed To Be Off Yesterday, but She Schedules Me To Come In, I Had To Reschedule A Doctor's Appointment I Had For Yesterday, Moved it To Today. Guess What Happens? I Get Told I Don't Need To Come In. I'm Pissed, I also now don't see why I should bother to make plans or schedule appointments for supposed days off. I also want to tell her, just schedule me to only work Thursday and Friday Mornings. If she needs me to come in for the afternoon alert me at 10:00 AM. I still need to tell her, that I might be getting a new job, and that my availability is about to change.

This interview is a 3 Part Type, I'm just hoping I Get Hired. I've Been Trying Since February 2022 to work here. I put in an application around the End of November. Both Physical and Electronic Submission The HR person who does the hiring got sick. I even sent the company a message on Facebook messager expressing my interest. They took note when they placed the hiring announcement on Indeed again a Week and Half Ago, and I resubmitted my Application twice. I got the call back on Monday. Just anxious for tomorrow and that I get to pass on Part 2-3 of the interview.

[wouldvelovedmewheniwassoft]

help keep a queer disabled system couple from breaking NC with my rapist ❤️‍🩹

(CW: parental abuse/familial trauma, death from cancer, alcoholism, domestic violence, homelessness, sui + hospitalization, incest/rape, victim-blaming, abandonment + gaslighting by a toxic friend, harassment involving police, disordered eating)

please don't tag my post. proof of situation provided in imgur album.

i've held off on publicly asking for help beforehand, as i know there are many people in more dire circumstances right now. but i'm at a point where it's absolutely necessary.

i moved out of state to live with my partner system (we both have DID) in March of this year. we already planned to live together, but circumstances forced me to escape and go NC (no contact) with my remaining family for my safety.

i lived in my childhood home for my whole life until this year. my parents and extended family have always been abusive, but things escalated after my mom passed from Stage 4 lung cancer. my father started deteriorating after her diagnosis in 2018, and since her death in 2022, our relationship is no longer salvageable.

his alcoholism worsened significantly, resulting in multiple instances of him driving home drunk, collapsing, and almost being charged with a DUI. he hasn't hit me since i was 13, but he's acted domestically violent by slamming and hitting things whenever i've angered him. he threatened me with homelessness twice for being suicidal (once after a four day hospitalization, once after an attempted overdose), knowing full well i had no resources at the time and would've ended up on the streets. i attempted to escape last year, but my paternal aunt purposefully sabotaged it, forcing me to stay in an unsafe situation and suffer quietly. my mother's family abandoned me in 2020, and they no longer accept me (specifically for being queer/trans, disabled, and a vocal leftist), so they wouldn't help even if i wanted to resume contact.

it took over a year to move out due to my father controlling every aspect of my life with the justification of me being disabled. i tried to get his blessing for me to move in with my partner; but he refused to let me leave him, and he made it clear his disapproval of my relationship was because he didn't want me to have any autonomy outside of him.

the breaking point came after three days of nonstop verbal and emotional/mental abuse from him over an argument he started; everything culminated in him raping me while i was incapacitated. both my best friend of three years and their partner offered for me to crash at their apartment while my partner planned to get me. they also escorted me to a sexual assault center in my state to get a rape kit done.

i burned nearly every bridge in the process, as the people who could help me sided with him. but i didn't anticipate my friends to abandon me, too. they spent my last three days with them coercing me into changing my escape plan and dismissing my visible distress at how doing so would jeopardize my safety. less than 12 hours before we left, my best friend abandoned me via text, saying they'd refuse to help me if i didn't get police involved. anything i said in response resulted in gaslighting from them, mainly using therapy speak of "boundaries" and "triggers" to justify their actions. i cut contact with them after my partner told me they planned to drop me from the start (they told my partner this in a phone call while i was out) and discovering a cruel vague post they made after i last texted them. the last time i ever reached out was to send them money to get through their own situation.

since then, my partner and i have struggled financially. they're currently one write-up away from being fired, and their supervisor has always been volatile, so confronting him or going to anyone else at their job will do nothing. they've gotten help from their grandparents, but they're similarly abusive and unaccepting of them for the same reasons, so it hurts them to beg them even if they're unable to go NC right now.

i'm unable to reapply for disability, and previously lucrative sources of passive income have currently dried up. i'm waiting for orientation to be scheduled so i can start my new job, but we've financially suffered in the meantime. my account was charged off, and i only just now paid off a month's worth of PayPal debt; most of the debt came from paying off medical bills after i was injured in late April (currently contemplating pursuing legal compensation but nothing's set in stone).

i had to break NC twice for my father to help, but it's been triggering both times. i had to block his number before due to him harassing me via call/text, and he made me talk to police twice by falsely reporting me missing.

i cannot risk breaking NC again if my future job falls through or my partner loses theirs. we both had to skip meals several times within the past month to keep from buying food, so it's gotten scary already.

anything you can send helps. if you're unable to, PLEASE share this wherever you can. i also do writing commissions, so DM me to know my rates and what i'm willing to write.

ca | pp | vm

imgur album

(edit 6/18/24: created a new imgur album link; had no idea why the first one was inaccessible, but hopefully this is better formatted and contains additional context)

[yaskie]

This video is also uploaded on TIKTOK Ko-fi Website: Click Here

A continuous battle and I am scared(URGENT) - you can click on the image to direct you to the Ko-Fi Site.

Dear Friends, Right now I feel despair, and hopelessness. And I feel so tired. I deeply apologize for tagging you all again, please don't get mad. I just really needed help.😢😢 I just got my life back, and recently recovered from my debts from my previous battle in between 2021 and mid 2023. I really felt so ashamed in writing this, because I am avoiding as much as I can to ask help financially again. 

You were there for me during my darkest hours, and for that, I will be eternally grateful. But now, I find myself in a situation more dire than ever before, and I am trembling with fear as I implore you to lend me your aid once again.

The video you see attached to this post is a painful reminder of the recent loss I've endured. Uncle Dindo joined our creator last March 24, 2024, after battling Stage 4 Lung Cancer for a month. His passing has left a void in our souls, and also drowned us in debts too. I am helping with expenses as much as I can, that it also drowned me. My Father died of the same illness as well. I made a post more than a month ago with the Title: FIGHTING AGAINST CANCER sadly we still have zero donation and sales from our Emotes and Digital Stickers sale. 

I do not know how to approach all of you again, but I am so scared right now. The reason I made this new post is I've been doing my best to make ends meet, trying to loan to a bank to be able for me to start my Treatment again(but mostly got rejected). I am already back to work eversince the fourth quarter of 2023, but the income is not enough as I earn only $12-$15/day with 12 hours plus of work.  I am really really scared right now as I am writing this. First, I need to settle my rent within 12-24 hours which cost $500(water & electricity is unstable). My landlord is threatening me that he will lock the house, kicking me out and leaving my pets behind. My cats and my dog are my life. Update(05/02/2024): I asked helped from a local council here to help me talk to my landlord. We have an agreement and I am given enough time until Saturday of this week - May 4, 2024. To settle the rent and for me and my pets to leave the apartment, we found a new one but we need a 2 month deposit. And payment for a rental truck. I need to pay my landlord too - so, I can be able to transfer to another home, and he will let me leave peacefully. Which will have another cost, as I need to rent a small truck because I have my pets with me. I have written this on my previous blogs before that I have been sexually harassed(this SCARES me so much too), and stalked by a former friend. He was jailed, but he is back again(already reported it to police). But for safety transferring home is needed. My trauma is still not yet recovered. We still need to prioritize as well my Aunt's treatment, as her health is rapidly deteriorating too(Stage 3 breast Cancer is advancing, her right breast has already been removed). And I need to start mine again, it spread in other parts of my body(I am holding on). I'm really scared right now. If you can spare anything—money, support, anything at all—it would mean the world to me. I hate asking, but I don't know what else to do. Any amount is appreciated, or you can purchase from my Small Shop as well. Thank you so much. Please take Care. Love, Jasky P.S. Sorry if my writing sounds scattered. I don't have proper sleep at the moment.

Sorry for tagging again, please do not get mad at me. I really help so badly. Reposting, or if you have any at least $5 or buy stickers it will really mean a lot to us, to me.

@boost-the-signal @measurelessdreamer @c1a1r3r3df1e1d @samblerambles @nearlybitches

[skippyv20]

Our Prayer List 🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s rescue bunny who has a vet ppt tomorrow.  Praying he can be helped and is not in pain.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is working on her PHD, she is concerned her paper won’t be submitted by advisor.

Prayers and good thoughts for Karen.  She has been through much medically, and her sister is worried about her mentally handling changes.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s little boy who will be going through treatment for speech impediment.  We pray for his quick success.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s sister who is in the hospital.  Cancer runs in their family and there is much concern.  

Prayers and good thoughts for our dear friend whose disability renewal was denied.  She has another battle ahead.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s father who has been diagnosed with early stage dementia.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s son-in-law’s mother.   She has cancer in her spine, leg and lung.  She will be having surgery on her spine.     This woman raised 4 boys by herself, her now 23 year old son is  severely autistic and needs 24/7 care, which his mom has provided him his entire life.    She is only 64 years old, a wonderful person, warm, loving and very independent.  My heart breaks for her.  Please also pray for my son in law - he is in the Navy, fortunately stationed only a few hours from his mom.  He has power of attorney for his mom and his brother’s care - he has some very difficult and no doubt heart wrenching decisions to make.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s friend whom has been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called Myelodysplastic Syndrome, or MDS.  She is undergoing chemo and waiting for the bone marrow transplant.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s son B.  He is very stressed at work, it is making him ill,  and needs a new job with less stress.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend seeking employment and a new apartment.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s brother in Spain.  He is doing better, it will be a long road.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s daughter who is struggling.  She is in much pain mentally. We prayer for her family as well as they try desperately to help her.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is battling an undiagnosed mental illness which led to decisions with consequences.  Praying for her to stay strong in faith, for her family issues to be resolved.  Also, for her to be free of financial hardship.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s friend whose husband has passed away suddenly age 43.  Prayers for her and their 4 yr old daughter.

Prayers and good thought for our dear friend.  Her and her family are mourning the passing of 3 family members.  Two cousins and an aunt, all in the last week.  Oh no!  Our friend just had another cousin pass away.

Prayers and good thoughts for Baby James and his heart brother Matthew.  Also their heart brother Conrad

[maerinhearts]

I need a safe space to talk about something in my life.

TW: Death

In February 2015, my paternal grandmother passed away. A lot of my family assumed my grandfather would follow soon after, but he didn't. I was at college in Pennsylvania when it happened, and my older sister, along with my grandfather, got in the car the very next morning to come pick me up for the funeral. I was very close with my grandmother so that was really hard on me.

In May of 2015, on my 20th birthday, I went to visit my grandfather as I had just gotten home from college and wanted to spend time with him. My grandma always kept track of the birthdays for grandpa, so I didn't expect to get a "Happy Birthday" or anything like that. However, he told me on that day that if shooting himself in the head wasn't a one-way ticket to Hell, he would do it. But he can't, because my grandma is in Heaven and he wants to be with her.

I'm sure you can guess how much that hurt.

I distanced myself pretty far after that without really realizing it. Plus, I have an older brother that I have not spoken to since late 2015 for certain reasons and they always took his side, even though he was in the wrong. That's a story for another day though. I always felt ostracized and like I didn't matter much to that side of my family so I distanced myself even more.

In February of 2019, my paternal aunt revealed that she had Metastatic Breast Cancer, stage 4. It had spread to her lymph nodes, her joints and her lungs. We weren't sure how long she had, but I vowed to spend as much time as I could with her. Then COVID happened. She loved camping. So the summer of 2020, when things started opening back up, I started going camping again so that I could see her. And in October of 2020, she passed away when the cancer spread to her brain. Her death was hard for me, I was very close to her as a child.

In May of 2021, my older sister and i received a phone call that my father was dying. He had Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and had been in a nursing home for 10 years. The nursing home stopped caring for him and he was starving by the time he got to the hospital. He could barely talk anymore, and he was a choke risk. The doctor gave us two choices that my sister and I had to make as his next of kin: permanent feeding tube surgery that he had a 5% chance of surviving or moving him into hospice and letting him die peacefully. We chose hospice. I won't go into full detail about the whole thing as his death was very traumatic for me, but he passed in June of 2021.

My grandfather has disowned me god knows how many times for not talking to him while grieving. And I can't imagine how it must have felt to lose your wife and all your children. But we were grieving too. He said some hateful things to me over the years. But even then, when he got rushed to the hospital on the evening of January 14th, I was worried. And I rushed to the hospital on the 15th to see him. His kidneys were failing and he was actively starving due to a mass partially obstructing his esophagus. He had stopped eating completely because he started choking. But he didn't tell any of us. He was rushed to the ER because my baby cousin found him collapsed on the floor. He got out of the hospital later that week and into a nursing home for physical therapy. But he just kept getting worse and worse....

We rushed him to the ER last Tuesday morning, January 31st. We needed him to have emergency feeding tube surgery. Only to find out that he didn't have long left. It was rough... we didn't get moved to a room in the hospital until 4 AM on the 1st. My sister and I didnt get any sleep that night. And we moved him into Hospice at 3 PM later that day... where we spent the next 4 days with him.

He passed at 1:58 AM this morning, February 5th, and I feel fucking lost. So lost. My dad's entire family is gone, and I'm only 27. His last day of consciousness was spent yelling at me about anything because he wasn't sane anymore. I got yelled at about flowers on the floor (there were no flowers) and I got yelled at for not holding his hand.

I'm so exhausted. I'm tired. I'm tired of the people around me dying. I don't want to go plan his funeral tomorrow. I can't say goodbye to the last living link I had to my father. And it didn't help that the situations were similar and they looked the exact same laying unconscious in that bed...

And no one understands how I feel. My sister and two cousins might, but honestly, none of them have the same views on death as I do and none of them understand any of how I have felt for the last 8 years alone. This fucking sucks. I had to driving home at 3:00 this morning after getting all my stuff packed up. I cried the whole way home. I watched him take his last breath and yet it doesn't feel like any of it has happened at all.

I know that people have probably been through something similar, but I just can't help but wonder why me? I'm just fucking tired...

[reelovesbuckybarnes]

Hey everyone...

I don't know if you all remember when i had told you all about my one aunt that had stomach cancer?

I just received some very bad news that she has passed away a few minutes ago 💔...

I am heartbroken,sad,shocked...

I don't know how i am going to heal from this . My dad passed away from brain and lung cancer in 2004, my uncle passed away from lung cancer in 2015,my other aunt passed away from cancer but she had anorexia for many years as a result she just collapsed in 2006...

And now it's my other aunt that has now passed away from stage 4 stomach cancer...

I really don't know what to do...she was only in her 50s...

😔 ...

[mothaus]

While it feels like I've abandoned this blog. However, there has been so much shit happening in my life. My Aunt passed away from stage 4 lung cancer on Tuesday the 13th, I went to the docs on Friday, and work has restructured.

[touyaspeach]

Hi so, some of you may remember about a month ago my aunt passed suddenly. Today I got word that my grandfather has stage 4 lung cancer and is not expected to live through tonight.

Just a heads up, because of this there will be a delay in posting event asks. My apologies.

[therandomfics]

Three Days: 2

The sound of the shower starting drew you from your slumber and dropped you back into the bitter reality of what was happening. For a moment you were disoriented - had it really happened that way? But within a few moments, you’d rolled over and checked your phone to see the myriad of missed calls and text messages with condolences and prayer promises. 

Sonny poked his head out of the bathroom and offered you a half smile. “Good morning, beautiful. Come join me?” 

You nodded meekly and padded over to him, embracing his half clothed form. Pressing your face against his bare chest, you sighed heavily and squeezed him close to you. “We have a lot to get done today. Aunt Judy doesn’t want us wasting any time.” 

He kissed the top of your head and pulled you into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you. “Let’s take it one step at a time.” 

The halls of Mass Gen were quiet, surprisingly, for such a depressing ward. Your father’s room was midway down the hall, and the door was wide open as you approached. Your eyes fell upon your father as you saw his fragile existence, barely holding on to what was left of his life. 

“Oh Dad,” you said with a shaky sigh, closing the gap between you and placing your hand on his. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were sick.” 

“He didn’t, either,” your brother promised you, hovering in the doorway. 

Sonny stood a few feet away from you, hands in his pockets awkwardly. Surely he was out of place. He dealt with murder and assault all the time, but seeing his father in law on his death bed was a new type of trauma for the seasoned detective turned lawyer. 

“What’s happened to him?” you asked, barely looking up as a nurse entered the room and checked vitals, jotting notes on the tablet that was your father’s chart. 

She sighed. “Your father’s been diagnosed with stage 4 terminal cancer.” 

“What kind?” you inquired, brushing your finger over the back of your father’s hand.

“Lung,” she explained, gesturing to the oxygen that your father was currently depending on to survive. “He came in yesterday complaining about breathing concerns and once the doctor took a closer look, we could only confirm the worst. I’m so sorry for your trouble.” The nurse nodded with a frown and left the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts at your father’s bedside. 

“I wish I would have known, I could have moved back here and taken care of you, Dad. I would have done anything. Maybe there’s still a chance, though? They’re not always right, and you’re a fighter. Maybe it’s just a misdiagnosis?” you wondered aloud, tears welling in your eyes. 

As you dabbed at your eyes with the back of your hand, you felt the air in the room change. Suddenly, there was noise that filled the room, rushing of nurses and doctors screaming for you and your family to leave the room, physically pushing you out of the way. You collided with your brother and tumbled out of the way, finding yourself in the hall with Sonny finally emerging from the room. 

Several long minutes passed as you heard the calls for “clear” and “more oxygen” from the hallway. You slumped down against the wall and sat on the floor, pulling your knees close to your chest, trying to disappear from the hospital and back to a place that wasn’t full of misery. 

“Y/N,” you heard Sonny saying, realizing the silence was back and the overbearing noise of resuscitation was gone. 

You shook your head and pushed yourself up to your feet, refusing to hear whatever awful news that Sonny was about to give you. Your brother reached out to grab your arm but you shrugged him away, marching straight into your father’s hospital room. 

It was too late. 

“I know that we have a lot to do today, but I want to make sure that you eat. Your brother was telling me about a place a few blocks down that opened up recently. Let’s go there, then we can meet up with everyone else,” Sonny was saying, washing his hair with his head tipped back and his eyes closed. 

“That’s a good idea.” You washed off the remainder of the soap on your body and then kissed his jaw. “You’re the best thing in the world to ever happen to me.” 

“Mutual,” he said with a small shrug, stepping back as you pulled the curtain to get out of the shower. 

Over a breakfast of blueberry pancakes and coffee, you mapped the day out with Sonny. After breakfast, you’d head back to your father’s home, where everyone would be waiting. His last wishes were to be buried at his family plot, with a simple service that highlighted his life’s accomplishments and how proud he was of his children and grandchildren. After coordinating and contacting the funeral home, you’d have to order flowers, plan the meal situation for the service, and make sure that you met with your father’s lawyer to confirm any final details regarding his burial. 

It was a lot, you had to admit, but knowing that Sonny was there made things seem so much more simple. 

As you sat at a window table with your husband, you couldn’t help but thank God that you’d been given the best gift in the world. In between bites he caught you staring and reached out to grasp your hand in his. “It’s gonna be alright. I’m here. We’re gonna get through this together.” 

When you walked back into your father’s house, you were immediately greeted by two rambunctious and excited little boys - your nephews. They embraced you and spoke over one another trying to get the most of your attention as possible, that is until they saw Sonny. They ran to him and jumped into his arms, hugging him and starting the process all over. Your sister in law came around the corner and folded her arms, crossly observing her children’s behavior. 

“Let them be happy. Someone needs to be,” you said, lips pulling into a frown. 

“Well, they’re my kids, so I think I get the final say in how they’re raised,” she retorted and yelled at her children to get down and go back to the living room. “They need to learn their place. They’ve been getting on my nerves all day and there isn’t a single thing for them to do in this house.” 

“Yeah. Kinda like my Dad didn’t have any young children living here, so he decorated how he saw fit.” You shrugged and brushed past her, heading into the living room where the rest of your family was stationed. 

“Sonny and I will handle food and flowers,” you announced and stood in the doorway to the living room. Sonny came to stand beside you and smiled at your family, the family that he’d only met once at the wedding. “I really appreciate you all coming together for this. Aunt Judy, I know that due to your health concerns you’d like this as orderly and speedy as possible. I respect that. So I’d like to finalize plans today. Dad will be prepared for burial by tomorrow, so I’d like to make sure that we respect each other’s time and do this together, efficiently.” 

“We’ll get with the funeral home,” your brother offered, glancing at his wife who merely shrugged. “Dad already had everything paid for and picked out, so we just need to confirm that they’ll be able to accommodate us.” 

“Great. You guys are more than welcome to stay here and visit with one another. We’re going to go ahead and get started on everything.” You felt Sonny place his hand on the small of your back and guide you closer to him, where you naturally fit under his shoulder. 

“Thank you guys for being here. I know it means a lot to Y/N and myself. I left my cell number on the fridge if you guys need anything while we’re out,” he concluded, and gently but confidently guided you from the living room and back towards the entrance to the house. 

“Are you sure you’re ready?” he asked, cupping your chin in his hand to bring your gaze back to his eyes. 

You nodded and met his eyes. “I’ve gotta get it done.” 

He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours for a long moment. “At anytime you need a break, you tell me. You don’t have to do it all.” 

“I know, thank you. Let’s get as much done as possible. I love my Dad but I’m tired of being in Boston already,” you complained and pulled away from him to leave the house. 

Flowers ordered. Check. Food to feed up to 50 people. Check. Meeting with your father’s lawyer to ensure that his final wishes were being met. Check. 

The only thing left was to get with your brother to see if he had secured a time for the services. 

On the drive back from the North Shore, you stared out the window and fought the urge to break down. Why was there never enough time to grieve? Why was it so sudden? Could you really ever honestly be prepared, even if you knew someone was going to die at a certain time? What would happen when Sonny died? What if you died first, would Sonny be okay? You wanted Sonny to die first so that he wouldn’t have to go through the suffering of losing you and living alone. Try as you might, you found yourself sniffling on the ride back home. 

“Where’d your mind take you?” Sonny asked as he turned onto the street lined with brownstones that your father had called home for so many years. 

“I don’t you to die, but I’d rather you go first so that you don’t have to live without me,” you explained and wiped the tears from your face. 

“If you go first, I’ll never get remarried,” he promised, parking the car and killing the engine. “Come inside with me. I’ll make you some tea, and we can watch Tom and Jerry. Your brother told me that you and your Dad watched it a lot together when you were little. Let’s relive some good memories, huh?” 

“Dad also used to make me grilled cheese sandwiches....” you trailed off and looked at him with a mischievous smile. 

“Alright,” he replied and opened the car door. “But only if you’re good.” 

[irondadgroupie]

Bohemian Rhapsody: Chapter

A/N: Let me tell you guys, the most difficult part of this story so far, along with a chapter we are currently struggling with, was finding info about extubation. Every teaching video featured asleep patients and it was so difficult to find info about how to do the procedure while the patient is awake. 

@iamwhump and I eventually managed and we’re pleased with the results. 

“And we’re done,” Tony proclaimed with a smile and started unfastening the belt. “You did amazing, as always.”

Peter attempted to smile but only managed to curve one side of his mouth.  

Tony gathered the breathing aid into his arms and pinched the boy’s nose with a smirk: “Teacher’s pet.”

Peter shoved out his tongue: a trick he had learned from the extubation test the doctor had performed earlier that morning. In order to take the breathing tube off, Peter had had to reach numerous values and the boy had done so with flying colors. His 02- stats were up, he could lift his head off the pillow and show his tongue on command.

Tony tried to appear strict: “Hey,” he bumped the boy’s forehead. “None of that attitude or I will leave you in that machine.”

Peter fisted his hands and glared.

“You’re so cute, when you’re angry,” Tony cooed and pinched Peter’s cheeks.  

The boy would have snorted if not for the tube in his throat.

Tony took a moment to water the flowers on Peter’s bedside, Pepper had brought the boy yellow tulips, their color was like the bright autumn leaves Tony saw from the windows. He could not remember when he had last gone out.  

“When you are off the ventilator, we are going on a picnic in Central Park. Sound good?”

Peter nodded eagerly.

“Of course, we need to give it some time since you need to adjust back to eating solids. Maybe just a walk?”

The boy looked a bit crest-fallen but blinked ‘yes’.

Tony took a cup of ice-chips (they really were not too bad when you got used to them) and sat down by the bed again. He took one, fingers already melting the thing and began to slide it over Peter’s lips. At first, Tony had been worried Peter would be embarrassed with such an intimate gesture but it seemed the boy was only grateful that people were looking into his basic needs.

“You know what I just realized?” The man tried to slide some water into Peter’s mouth. “You get to do-over your first word!”

Peter weakly lifted an eyebrow.

“What was your first word?” Tony wondered aloud. “Was it Mama? Mine was Mama.”

Peter tried to shrug.  

“I have to ask May about it. But anyway, you have been here for a month, everybody is eagerly waiting for you to speak again.”

Peter shook his head and touched his throat.

“Yeah, your voice might be gone for a while but is important to try. We don’t care if you sound like an old man with stage 4 lung cancer- we love you either way.”  

Again, Peter made a weak attempt to smile, and Tony almost melted at the sight. He could barely stand the wait to seeing the typical, broad Peter Parker smile back on the kid’s lips. “Talking about that… you’ve gotten another gift.”  

‘Another’ as in ‘one other’ was more than an understatement, but he knew that Peter’s attention span wasn’t exactly long enough to focus on things for too long, and he didn’t want to make the boy feel bad for falling asleep in the middle of a gift opening.

“That one’s from Larry. That small, blond, lab guy, you remember?”  

Peter seemed to consider the answer for a second, then nodded.  

“Although… technically, it’s from me. And if you narrow it down it’s actually from Pep, so…” The glance in Tony’s eyes brightened when the kid rolled his eyes. No one could ever even possibly understand how much that simple movement meant to Tony, after almost a month of Peter laying limp and motionless on the bed. That’s probably why he’d let it come to that in the first place.  

“We never really got to celebrate our huge progress on your formula. And – you know I wasn’t a big fan of the idea – “  Who would’ve? “But you’ve been rambling so much about it that we just couldn’t resist, so…” Tony made the reveal dramatic, currently still hiding the present from Peter’s rather limited line of vision. “This is a lucky charm, alright? Not a mascot or anything.”  

Who was he kidding? Sure the stuffed yellow platypus with his white coat and the protective goggles was a goddamn mascot. It was just less embarrassing to sell it as a lucky charm since he was giving it before the extubation. As soon as the color and form were within Peter’s sensual reach, the surveillance monitor began beeping in a quicker pace, causing Tony to immediately freeze mid- motion. “You alright, kid? Does anything hurt?” The man frowned when Peter blinked a ‘no’. “I’d make a guess that this is the excitement talking.” May remarked casually, making her way back to her nephew’s bedside. “Who wouldn’t be, at the sight of a stuffed platypus five times the natural size?”  

She threw Tony a glance, and he caught her words without verbally hearing them. “So much about not spoiling him, huh?”  

With that said, Tony wished she’d needed a few minutes longer refreshing, so that he could’ve secretly revealed that he’d ordered a smaller one, too – and more practical at that – for Peter to actually have beside him.  

May just huffed, doing her best to hold back the laughter. One media cliché was obviously true: If anything, Tony Stark was a man of big gestures. Instead of mocking him, however, she decided to help Peter explore the texture, gently supporting him by wrapping his fingers around it. “Oh my goodness.” She exclaimed. “How’s this thing so fluffy?” “Hey, if I’m already ordering individualized stuffed animals, I’m ordering the good ones.” “I see.”  

There was a short pause during which both adults just enjoyed the sparkle of happiness in Peter’s eyes.   “So, a lucky charm, I heard? Good that you have it, but you wouldn’t need it, sweetheart. Yours is gonna be the smoothest extubation the medics here are ever going to see.”

Water heater clicked. Tony lifted it from the platform and filled the instant noodles cup to the line and added in the sauce powder.  

“You know those have little to no nutrition,” May pointed at the man with a plastic fork as she held a container of Caesar salad on her lap.

“But it’s quick to eat,” Tony shrugged and sat on the seat on Peter’s other side. The boy was resting up after getting excited about his gifts. The doctor platypus was lying on the bed beside him, the boy’s arm slightly cuddling it.  

It was a such an adorable sight; Tony would have saved as his phone’s background if not for the ventilator.

Once he deemed the noodles cooked enough to eat, he began his lunch hour, eyes on the clock.

“Slow down or you’ll burn your mouth,” May chewed on a piece of chicken.

“We running late on schedule.”

“Stark, your money runs this hospital. They will wait.”

“I just want to see Peter get out of that fucking monster.”

Peter moaned something in his sleep and turned around towards his aunt. Tony froze in place, heart in his throat and May’s soft glare fixed on him.  

“Shhh,” May calmed the boy down and stroked his hair. “You’re okay, sweetie.”

Peter’s fingers twitched. Tony sat down his meager lunch and lifted the stuffed animal. Maybe a bit juvenile gift for a teenage boy, but hey, the boy loved animals and anything cute. He was not going to judge.

Peter was going to need all the comfort to manage the dreaded but highly anticipated extubation.

“Here’s your little buddy,” Tony whispered gently, tickled Peter’s cheek with the platypus and tucked the toy tightly under the boy’s arm. “All good now?”

He would have sworn the boy purred.

Tony chuckled and sat down again.  

“We need to figure out what to do from now,” May approached a new topic.

Tony nodded, eyes on the food, he didn’t want to spill. “Agreed. I have already called a speech therapist. I can imagine Peter is going to have a hard time controlling his voice. Plus the pain.”

“Also, then we need to think of easing him into eating again.”

“Nutritionist?”

“Yes. Also, I highly recommend a psychologist.”

“You think he might have PTSD?”

“Maybe not necessarily PTSD since Peter doesn’t remember what happened,” May frowned. “I was thinking more about the adjustment period. He missed a month of his life. That has got to be a huge issue.”

“But he is very resilient,” Tony tried to think of the positive. “But yeah, I’m more worried about the physical incapabilities. He is used to running around. I have read that prolonged hospital stays plus immobility can cause depression.”

“There is a risk of that. Also, I would like Peter sees a neuropsychologist.”

“Alright, I can make a call,” Tony nodded. “You’re the expert here, I trust your word.”

May gave a small smile. “Recovery from coma can be very strenuous on all of us. Peter- well, it can take a while until he is himself. We need to patient but strict. If we don’t give up on him, he will feel secure and commit to the process.”

Throwing the empty cup to the trash can (which was again overflowing), Tony considered the words. So far, things had worked out great but Peter only managed to stay awake for so long and even then, he was not fully there. The boy’s attention span was short and he zoned out frequently. The doctor had assured them it was not all because of the brain injury, the drugs played a big part in it.

Little steps, Tony reminded himself. They‘d see how things worked out along the way. The only thing they could do was prepare for everything.

The noodles Tony had had for lunch threatened to make a comeback as Peter was preparing to get the breathing tube out. The boy passed the final exam with flying colors and got to choose a sticker as a reward.

Peter chose one of a puppy with a soft coat.  

Tony smiled and ruffled the boy’s hair.

“That was great, kiddo, and all you had to do was show your tongue and lift your head.”

“Maybe the most important test of your life,” May smiled and stroked the boy’s knuckles with her thumb.

Tony shook his head. “You know he has SATs coming up?”

“Oh please, you can get him to any school already.”

The man grinned. “True.”

Peter tried to smile but it was lopsided, the breathing tube was in the way.  

The boy was laid on his left side with nurses and two doctor’s hovering around him. Everyone was gentle and made cheery small-talk as they took note of his vitals and went through the process so Peter would know what to expect.

“We will keep you in the loop,” one of the doctor’s patted Peter’s shoulder. “You just relax and focus on breathing, let us do the hard work, alright?”

Peter tried to give a thumbs up but the attempt was miserable. Tony chuckled as he took his place behind Peter’s back. May sat in front of the boy so Peter could look at her, Tony would provide more physical love and support.  

“Alright, we’ll begin now.”

Peter clutched the platypus plushie to his chest, a whimper escaping his throat.

“You’re alright,” Tony grasped the boy’s shoulder and stroked his hair. “You are so strong, so brave-”

“Just breathe, Peter,” The doctor said as he and a nurse worked on releasing the tube. It was a slow process with many steps.  

“This might feel a little uncomfortable.”

Tony did not watch the process, his focus was only on Peter. He offered silent support, rubbed the boy’s arm and then placed his hand over Peter’s. He pressed the stuffed toy tighter to boy’s chest.

“Breathe, kiddo, breathe,” Tony tried to ignore the sounds coming near Peter’s mouth. What on earth were they doing, shredding the boy’s throat?

“Alright, Peter,” The doctor finally said as the only thing left was the final process. “I need you to take a deep breath and then we’ll pull the tube out. You need to exhale or cough as we take it off. You might feel nauseous but that will abate soon, I promise.”

Peter nodded and grasped May’s hand tighter.

Tony stroked the boy’s knuckles: Peter’s hand was chilled from anxiety.

“What if there are complications?” He asked and rubbed a place just beside Peter’s ear.

“Peter is what we would describe as a low risk patient,” The doctor explained. “We will put him on 100% oxygen the minute the tube is out to secure the airway and monitor him carefully for six hours.”

“He has never been taken off ventilator when awake,” Tony countered. “The only time he has been put under was when his wrist was operated.”

“Oh yes, I remember,” The doctor’s eyes twinkled. “You insisted on being in the room when they removed the breathing tube.”

Tony flushed but tried to regain his composure, even under May’s triumphant smile: “Well, it was the first time we ever put him under, I had to make sure there would be no complications.”

“You took very precise notes of his vitals-”

“Are we doing this during this century?” Tony snapped and rubbed Peter’s hand: the boy moved it so Tony’s hand laid between his own and the toy.

A nurse stepped closer.

“Here it goes, Peter,” The doctor took a hold of the tube. “Deep breath in.”

“Start thinking of your first words,” Tony whispered to the boy’s ear. Peter’s lungs expanded, he was eager to get the ordeal over with.

“And breathe out.”

Tony could not describe the sound Peter made, it was something between a long gag and a moan. The boy squeezed his eyes shut and clutched May’s hand tighter.

“A little more, sweetie.”

“Very good,” the Doctor pulled the tube out and Tony who had been waiting for words, something akin to “Thank God!” or “Hallelujah!”, cried in alarm as Peter spit out saliva and mucus.

“It’s okay,” The doctor pressed a mask on Peter’s face and Tony heard the air current that was forced through Peter’s mouth and nose. “Now just focus on breathing.”

“You’re alright, sweetie,” May rubbed Peter’s arm as a nurse moved a stethoscope over his chest. Tony could not help thinking how those muscles had deteriorated during bed rest.

“Good breath sounds on both sides.”

Tony grinned and leaned over to gaze at Peter’s hazy eyes: “You just keep being an overachiever. I’m really, really proud of you, kid. My heart’s bursting.” “Oh Peter.” May whispered, her hands moving through Peter’s curls. “You make Tony all cheesy. You make the man of steel cheesy. And me the happiest aunt on earth, believe me.”

Tony was about to return the quip, knowing that it usually cheered the kid up, but Peter’s eyes were glassy with confusion, pain and exhaustion. The man could barely imagine – and he certainly didn’t want to – how raw his throat was, or how much his lungs probably burned with the artificial support of his breathing finally gone. 

A few weeks ago, when his life had still been within the ranges of ordinary, he’d never have considered allowing his feelings show, especially not with so many people in the room, waiting the ordered three minutes to check whether or not Peter’s vitals would remain stable, so they could immediately re-intubate should the need arise. Tony hoped it wouldn’t get that far, but right now, his main priority was his kid’s mental well-being. 

“It’s fine. We’re all here.” He said, catching the boy’s glance, understanding the request without either of them verbalizing anything. Without any more reconsideration, Tony softly hummed the beautiful, nerdy lullaby into Peter’s ear, fingers gently caressing his cheeks. 

He didn’t even need to do it for long – although he would’ve sung for a year straight if needed – Peter was in Slumberland fast as light. A part of him wondered where that deep, unquestioning admiration for the kid came from. Had it been born after the car crash, when Tony had done nothing but prayed and begged for him to wake up, not wanting to waste the second chance he’d gotten with the boy? Maybe.  

But something inside him was very aware that he’d wrapped the kid in his heart way, way before that. “Sleep well, kiddo.”

The following five hours were both the best and the hardest in Tony‘s life so far. He was on edge the entire time, already fearing the worst because why would recovery be easy. But Peter, the champion he was, pulled through those hours without any respiratory issues, and not even a single serious drop in his oxygen stats. “Told you.” May remarked. “Parker’s are fighters. They’ve always been.”  

There was a sad undertone in her voice, and Tony knew better than to say anything, granting the woman a rare minute of grief. Time was cut short, however, when Peter’s lids moved slightly. Tony recognized the gesture as a sign of discomfort, and quietly ordered Friday to dim the lights to a lower level, to have Peter gradually adjust to coming to. Tony felt his heart swell as soon as he realized that the sound of his voice made the kid frown, his head lolling slightly into his direction. 

“Sorry, kiddo.”, he whispered, fingers gently massaging the boy’s knuckles before he lifted the small hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss on the back. “Take your time. We’re here.” 

It seemed to take longer than the last couple of times, but after around four minutes, Peter finally found it in himself to prevent his eyes from squeezing shut as soon as he tried to open them. He still felt strange, with his body being mostly numb but not heavy, and the soft beeping in the background somewhere between comforting and worrying. In comparison to the haze of memories he could remember from the past couple of days though, this was great.  

His eyes met his mentor’s and he forced himself to smile. There was an ‘Hey, Mr. Stark’ somewhere within him, but it didn’t dare to pass his hurting throat just yet. Mimics and gestures had to do for now. 

For Tony and May, those small things were more than enough. They cherished the simple voluntary blinking, admired the finally not lopsided smile, stored the image of seeing eyes looking at them in their memory forever. None of them would ever make the mistake to take something like that for granted. God no.

From now on, every day they got to spent with Peter would be even more of a blessing than it already was. Tony might even overwrite Friday’s programming on deleting lab sessions not marked important after a year. All of those held moments too valuable to be allowed to sink into the oblivion of a limited human mind.

Peter slowly turned for May, recognizing her soft hand resting in his hair, caressing his forehead, before he stopped in mid-movement, eyes fixed on the door half a second before it opened, a slender figure walking in. It took longer than he would have liked, but Peter managed to identify him as Rhodey, and his smile got even brighter.  

“Hey, Peter. Great to see you.”  

The boy did his best to convey the ‘Great to see you too, Sir.’ with his eyes.  

“How’s being tube free been so far?” 

“Astonishing, isn’t it?” May translated, giving Peter a question he could nonverbally answer. The blinked to signal a yes before feeling something foreign on his face that turned out to be one of his aunt’s tears. His heart quickened in pace before he could prevent it, and he weakly moved his hand up to her face to wipe the streams of water away. He hated to see May cry more than literally anything in the world. 

“Hush, sweetheart, it’s…” she suppressed a sob. “These are happy tears, Peter. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” 

“Oh yes.” Rhodey backed her up, resting a hand on Peter’s left leg. “All our tears have only been happy tears. You can’t even imagine how glad we all are to see you awake again. Now you’ll hopefully be better in no time.” “Sure he will.” Tony promised, having taken time during Rhodey’s short speech to blink away the wave of tears coming over him. He didn’t want Peter to see him cry. The boy needed to be the one receiving, not giving it to others. “We’ll make sure of that.” 

“Of course you will. We all will. Which reminds me… you have quite some visitors out there and they can’t wait to see you.”

[northeastartist]

Keep Fighting.

I drew this picture of two hummingbirds for my Aunt, as her husband passed away before Christmas. He passed away on the Winter Solstice. I normally don't share this information, but you are all my family, so I felt it'd be a good idea. My Uncle has impacted so many people, and was such a nice man. He married a beautiful woman who I'm proud to call my aunt, and he has made three kids who I am proud to call my cousins. My uncle lost his battle with Stage 4 Lung Cancer, and they are saying he ultimately passed due to a possible heart attack, but at best, he was sleeping in his home with his wife and family. My mom went to help my aunt the night he passed, and my aunt was beyond distressed. I made this piece in memorial of my Uncle. He was there watching me as my Mom and Aunt went to check on my Grandfather 12 years ago. He was a very kind man, and he fought the best he could. But, in the end, Cancer, that damned dragon, has claimed another life. So I beg of you all. If you have a loved one who is going through Cancer's grip or are yourself, keep fighting. There are more people than you think that are so happy you impacted your life. You are a beautiful creation made by Mother Nature and grown by Father Time. You matter. You are an impactful person who is very much loved, no matter what you think.

Keep Fighting. Cancer can go rot. You Matter.

[belong-ed]

If only ...

Today at the dinner table, I was imagining how would life be if there’s no covid.

Bad news have been surrounding my family lately.

The first bad news was the passing of my grandma coincided with my brother’s wedding. Not sure what was worse ... but if there’s no covid, my brother’s wedding would have been held way earlier

The second bad news was the diagnosis of my fourth aunt’s health condition. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer shortly after my grandma passed. My aunt is my mum’s sister and my mum has always maintain a close relationship with all her family members. But since she resided in Malaysia, it’s been long since my mum seen and spend time with her. The news hit my mum quite badly

The third bad news is the passing of my first aunt. She just passed on earlier today & I know, my mum isnt feeling good. We obviously can’t go back to send her off and I’m really unsure how everything would turn out to be. My cousin; first aunt son gotten the permit to return back to Malaysia and he has since took the flight but unfortunately Malaysia does not recognise the vaccine he took (MRa - Morderna) hence the minute he touched down, he was sent to a Quarantine Centre 🤦🏻‍♀️

My heart goes out to all my loved ones affected by these news. It just hit right back at me that life is short; treasure it.

How am I feeling? Not too good but I’m doing well. Just thought that if there’s no covid, how would life pans out - we would have all taken the flight back to Malaysia and spend some really good quality time there. & my mum, she wouldn’t feel as bad as how she is feeling right now.

Even though I might not have much memories with my first aunt, but I knew her stories & I love listening to them - wouldn’t mind listening them over and over again. She’s a hardworker & she took care of my mum and her siblings with sweats and tears. I will always remember the every mornings breakfast at the coffee shop she works at serving us kopi, milo or teh; then refusing to collect money from us

May I always remember to treasure all my love ones - cousins, relatives and every family members who plays a big part in mine and my parents life 💖

[skippyv20]

Our Prayer List 🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is working on her PHD, she is concerned her paper won’t be submitted by advisor.

Prayers and good thoughts for Karen.  She has been through much medically, and her sister is worried about her mentally handling changes.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s little boy who will be going through treatment for speech impediment.  We pray for his quick success.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s sister who is in the hospital.  Cancer runs in their family and there is much concern.  

Prayers and good thoughts for our dear friend whose disability renewal was denied.  She has another battle ahead.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s father who has been diagnosed with early stage dementia.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s son-in-law’s mother.   She has cancer in her spine, leg and lung.  She will be having surgery on her spine.     This woman raised 4 boys by herself, her now 23 year old son is  severely autistic and needs 24/7 care, which his mom has provided him his entire life.    She is only 64 years old, a wonderful person, warm, loving and very independent.  My heart breaks for her.  Please also pray for my son in law - he is in the Navy, fortunately stationed only a few hours from his mom.  He has power of attorney for his mom and his brother’s care - he has some very difficult and no doubt heart wrenching decisions to make.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s friend whom has been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called Myelodysplastic Syndrome, or MDS.  She is undergoing chemo and waiting for the bone marrow transplant.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s son B.  He is very stressed at work, it is making him ill,  and needs a new job with less stress.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend seeking employment and a new apartment.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s brother in Spain.  He is doing better, it will be a long road.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s daughter who is struggling.  She is in much pain mentally. We prayer for her family as well as they try desperately to help her.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who is battling an undiagnosed mental illness which led to decisions with consequences.  Praying for her to stay strong in faith, for her family issues to be resolved.  Also, for her to be free of financial hardship.

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s friend whose husband has passed away suddenly age 43.  Prayers for her and their 4 yr old daughter.

Prayers and good thought for our dear friend.  Her and her family are mourning the passing of 3 family members.  Two cousins and an aunt, all in the last week.  Oh no!  Our friend just had another cousin pass away.

Prayers and good thoughts for Baby James and his heart brother Matthew.  Also their heart brother Conrad

[samuraipunk]

Growing up

I held this longstanding notion as a kid that, the folks I loved, friends and family, would live almost forever. I was 6 years old at the time and my biological father had just passed away. I hoped (hoped being the keyword here) that my Mom, Grandparents, babysitter (who passed away at 86 in 2008), and quite a few others would live long enough to see me make something of myself. You know the whole, get married, have kids, a degree in something awesome thought process.

Well, after my babysitter passed away in 2008 while I was down in Iraq for 15 months, that notion that I held on to for so long came crashing down like a wave hitting the beach. I couldn’t make it to the funeral and despite the fact that I was in the process of trying to make something of myself, my idea fell flat. Soon after, my Great Aunt passed away, my Grandma (On my Mom’s side) died due to kidney failure, Grandpa passed away of something before they could get him to the hospital, My dad’s sister passed away due to complications from pneumonia, and now it’s my Grandma’s turn (On my dad’s side of my family). 

Grandma has Stage 4 Lung Cancer and it’s terminal. She’s doing the Chemo, but the same time, still smoking like a chimney. She recently sent me some money and I honestly feel guilty about it. But as my Uncle says “Be happy. she likes to help you.” Which I do need help, because my life hasn’t necessarily gone the way I wanted it to. I’m in the process of trying to get new glasses after 6 years and improve my quality of life. 

I feel like shit, because I know it’s coming, but there is nothing I can do to stop it or do to help. I’ll think of something though... 

[freenewstoday]

New Post has been published on https://freenews.today/2020/12/27/utah-star-freshman-rb-ty-jordan-dies-at-19/

Utah star freshman RB Ty Jordan dies at 19

Utah freshman running back Ty Jordan has died, the school announced Saturday. He was 19.

The Denton (Texas) Police Department told ESPN that its officers responded to a shooting call at 10:38 p.m. ET Friday. Officers discovered a gunshot victim who had been shot one time. After life-saving measures were applied, the victim was transported to a local hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

“Following a preliminary investigation, we do believe that this was an accidental shooting, where the victim accidentally shot himself,” Denton Police Department public information officer Allison Beckwith told ESPN.

Jordan, the Pac-12 Offensive Freshman of the Year after running for 597 yards with six touchdowns on 83 carries in five games for the Utes, was from Mesquite, Texas, and attended West Mesquite High.

Rest In Peace, #22. Forever in our hearts.

We love you, Ty. pic.twitter.com/ZaXjWKg4Nc

— Utah Football (@Utah_Football) December 26, 2020

“On behalf of the entire University of Utah, our love and condolences to Ty Jordan’s family, friends, teammates and coaches. We are devastated by this heartbreaking news. To watch Ty on the field was to be thrilled by his athleticism and talent. Rest In Peace, Ty,” Utah President Ruth V. Watkins said in a tweeted statement Saturday.

Utes coach Kyle Whittingham said the team is devastated.

“Ty’s personality and smile were infectious and he made a huge impact on our program in the short time he was with us,” Whittingham said in a statement. “He leaves an indelible mark on each of us and our thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends. From the bottom of our hearts, all of us in the Utah Football Family want to say we love you Ty and may you rest in peace.”

Jordan was named to the All-Pac-12 second team. He ranked fourth in the Pac-12 in rushing yards and third in rushing yards per game. Jordan was the first Utah freshman to have three consecutive 100-yard rushing games since 1995.

“We share in the shock and sadness felt by our Utah community today upon learning of the passing of one of our family members, Ty Jordan,” Pac-12 commissioner Larry Scott said in a statement. “Our thoughts, prayers and deepest condolences are with his loved ones. The entire Pac-12 and college football family mourns this tremendous loss.”

In November 2019, a photograph of Jordan and an opposing player from Sherman High School went viral. After Sherman High’s 56-27 victory over West Mesquite High, Sherman’s Gage Smith asked Jordan if they could kneel and pray together. Smith had learned that Jordan’s mother, Tiffany, was battling stage 4 lung and bone cancer.

Jordan’s aunt posted photos of the moment to Facebook.

“It made me cry,” Tiffany Jordan told Today.com at the time. “[Smith] didn’t have to do that. The fact that he took the time to pray with Ty for me, that took my breath away.”

Tiffany Jordan died in August, according to a tweet by Ty Jordan. She was 43.

Dear mom, I love you so much, you’ve shown me over the past couple years how much a warrior you are. Watch over me and guide me momma 💔💔 Rest in Paradise A true Soldier! pic.twitter.com/ESoWShaRS9

— Ty Jordan ✌🏾 (@_ylfotyt) August 14, 2020

“We are deeply saddened and shocked to learn of Ty Jordan’s passing early this morning and our thoughts and prayers are with those who loved him dearly, including the young men in our football program,” Utah AD Mark Harlan said in a statement Saturday. “Our priority is on supporting his family and the student-athletes, coaches and staff in our football program who are so deeply hurting right now. Coach Whittingham and I are working closely to provide support and resources for our Utah Football family in this extremely difficult time.”

Source

[banhbae]

Diagnosed: Stage 4 Hodgkin's Lymphoma

Thursday, April 4th, 2019

10.30 AM: Consult with Thoracic Surgeon, Dr. Schieman, at the Foothills Hills Medical Centre

This appointment was very brief. Dr. Schieman advised that if it is lymphoma, due to the location of my mass and how it is pushing on an artery supplying blood to my brain, surgery would be very difficult and too risky.  Nonetheless, a biopsy was needed to be done to confirm what the mass is. Dr. Schieman was very kind and understanding when I mentioned how quickly/rushed I wanted to have my biopsy done to confirm if it is lymphoma in order to take the necessary steps to begin chemotherapy as soon as possible. I left the appointment on stand-by, meaning Dr. Schieman's office would schedule me in for biopsy either as an in-patient or out-patient, depending on which availability they had sooner. Luckily, that afternoon his office called me with a date and time for my Biopsy and I was instructed to go get blood work done.

3.00 PM: 5th Blood Test - for Biopsy

Tuesday, April 9th, 2019

12.30 to 4.30 PM: Biopsy

The actual biopsy procedure only took about 20 minutes but they require patients to stay at the hospital for about 3 hours after the operation before they can be discharged. During this time the provided me with juice and made sure I was able to go to the washroom before they allowed me to leave with my mom and aunt. I was instructed not to drive or operate any machinery for 24 hours.

Since I was asleep during the biopsy I didn't feel any pain, however, I did begin to wake up during the end of the procedure. The pain was mainly experienced after while I was waking up from the anesthesia. Pain level was about 6/10 and more of an uncomfortable feeling; it felt like someone had put strong pressure or punctured my collarbone. It was also very cold in the hospital so I began to get a headache in the back of my head (this is also one of the symptoms I began to experience regularly, not sure if it's related to lymphoma).

The doctor and nurses that did my biopsy were all great. Though my only complaint was when they had to inject me (like they do for a CT scan) the nurse chose a vein in my left hand and when they went to push the fluid in it hurt so bad I started crying (note: at this point I've had lots of needles put in me and fluids, so when I say it hurt I mean 10/10 pain). I'm not sure if it was the speed or pressure at which they were pushing the fluid in me but when I went to tell the nurse she simply brushed it off and said: "it's probably because your veins are small." I was a little displeased with this response and would've of preferred for her to check my vein since I was instructed to not move while I was laying down. Even after I was discharged my vein in my hand was swollen for a few days, and when I mentioned this to other nurses I would come to meet later on they all said that the nurse should've checked my vein because it shouldn't have hurt that bad.

Tuesday, April 16th, 2019

10.00 AM: Follow-up Appointment with Dr. Schieman - to get Biopsy results

Confirmed that I have "Hodgkin's Lymphoma - Nodular Type". Dr. Schieman again reiterated that surgery is not an option for me, and at this point, chemotherapy would be my treatment option. Now it was confirmed I have lymphoma, Dr. Schieman would have to refer me to a hematologist doctor at the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. He noted that meeting with the doctor could take up to a few weeks due to the long wait list but he would do his best to get me in as quickly as possible.

2.30 to 4:00 PM: Endoscopy at Foothills Hospital

This procedure was by far the easiest and best! The actual procedure was about only 20 minutes and I was able to leave right after I fully woke up from the anesthesia. Unlike the biopsy anesthesia, I didn't wake up until the whole procedure was over and when I did I felt like I just had the BEST sleep. The whole duration of the appointment, including check-in, changing, meeting the nurse etc., was about a hour and a half.

Thursday, April 18th, 2019

7.00 to 11.00 AM: First meeting with my hematologist doctor and his team who will be handling my treatments

7.00 AM: Check-In

7.30 AM: Blood test at the Tom Bake Cancer Centre

8.30 AM: Met with hematologist doctor and his team at Tom Bake Cancer Centre. Dr. Stewart, Dr. Doherty, and Nurse Melissa V. Nurse Melissa and Dr. Doherty went over what lymphoma is, what will happen moving forward, the two types of chemotherapy options, the effects of chemotherapy, and what tests I need to do before beginning chemotherapy. The two types of chemotherapy for lymphoma are: ABVD and Beacopp. ABVD is the less aggressive form of chemotherapy and has less effect on fertility in the long-run. Beacopp is more aggressive and does have a significant effect on fertility. Due to my age, my doctor referred me to a fertility doctor to discuss my options. He also noted that fertility options are not always possible due to the extreme cost and if I chose not to freeze my eggs, we could go with the less aggressive form of chemotherapy (ABVD). Tests I was required to do before beginning chemotherapy:

PET Scan - To determine if the lymphoma has spread and what stage I am

Brain MRI - Due to the headaches and pains I was experiencing, my doctor wanted to ensure everything was okay

Heart MRI & Lung (Cardiac) Exam - Chemotherapy can effect your heart and lungs so prior to beginning chemo (and during your treatment) the doctor regularly monitors your heart and lung condition

Tuesday, April 23rd, 2019

10.30 AM: PET Scan at Foothills Hospital

This scan was very different than I had anticipated, I assumed it would be similar to a CT scan but it wasn't. I first met with a nurse who took my height and weight measurements. Then she had me change into a gown and I was placed in a room with just a recliner chair. She injected with some fluid and then left me in the room alone for one hour to rest. During this hour because there was no TV in the room or anything to do, all I could do was rest. I wasn't allowed my phone either. After the one hour passed, I was asked to go to the washroom and then they took some pictures in a machine similar to CT scan. The actual PET Scan took only about 15-30 minutes.

12.45 PM: Consult with Dr. Foong from the Regional Fertility Program

*Please see [upcoming] post about fertility if you want to know more about IVF and the whole egg retrieval process.

Friday, April 26th, 2019

5.00 PM to 7.00 PM: Brain MRI at South Health Campus Hospital

5:00 PM: Check-In

5:30 PM: Appointment was scheduled for, however, they were running late so I ended up waiting very long and wasn’t taken into my appointment until around 6:00 PM where I was asked to change into gown and then wait again. My actual MRI didn’t start until 6:30 PM roughly. Of all the scans I've done this was my least favourite due to the long wait and the noise of the MRI (imagine sirens going off in your ear every minute at different pace).

Monday, April 29th, 2019

12.30 PM: Cardiac (Lung) Exam at South Health Campus Hospital, Pulmonary Clinic on 6th floor

This was by far my most favourite and enjoyable appointment. The gentleman who administered the exam was fun, energetic, and QUICK! The exam consisted of me breathing into a device and following his instructions which were either to breathe steadily; take a deep breath in and breathe out, exhaling for as long as I could; or steadily breathing followed by taking a deep breath in and holding it for a short period before exhaling. I had to do each about 3 or 5 times so that they could get the average of my results.

Thursday, May 2nd, 2019

1.30 PM: Heart MRI at South Health Campus, Cardiac on 3rd floor

This was very quick as well and also one of my favourte because there was no injection or needles required. Like any MRI, it was loud but all I had to do was lay there and take deep breaths in and out when instructed to.