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atlanticcanada · 2 years

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NHL's Sidney Crosby, astronaut David Saint-Jacques among 99 named to Order of Canada

David Saint-Jacques says he has always been "obsessed" with the notion of perspective -- from the physical, like understanding where we are in space and what's beyond the clouds, to the philosophical.

The Canadian astronaut and physician has had more opportunities than most to explore all the meanings of that word. He orbited Earth for 240 days and saw "just how exposed we are in the cosmos."

Then, less than a year after his stint on the International Space Station, the pandemic hit. And he spent two years working the COVID-19 units at Montreal's McGill University Health Centre, witnessing heartbreak and solidarity.

If Saint-Jacques has had a lifelong obsession with perspective, it's perhaps unsurprising that he points to the "many, many, many giants" on whose shoulders he's been standing -- and those who "made it possible for me to come back to Earth alive" -- when he is singled out to receive one of the country's highest honours.

Gov. Gen. Mary Simon announced Thursday that he and 98 others are being appointed to the Order of Canada.

Among the heavy hitters of academia, science, medicine, law and the arts are hockey star Sidney Crosby, currently the captain of the NHL's Pittsburgh Penguins, famed Hollywood impressionist Rich Little and esteemed Quebec actor Michel Cote.

Two existing appointees are being promoted to become companions to the order, the honour roll's highest status -- beloved actor Eugene Levy and Nova Scotia businessman John Bragg.

"It's very humbling, seriously, to have my name there along people who have accomplished so much on their own steam. I do feel like certainly my accomplishments as an astronaut are really the result of huge teamwork," Saint-Jacques said.

The astronaut added that the teamwork of the international space program is what gives him hope that humanity can solve its biggest problems. It's like "a bridge that we built that's always open," he said, no matter what is unfolding on the ground.

Another new officer in the order is Harry LaForme, who became Canada's first Indigenous appellate court judge in 2004.

While serving on the Ontario Superior Court in 2002, LaForme authored an important decision that led to the legalization of same-sex marriage in Ontario, finding that denying same-sex couples the right to marry violated their equality rights. Gay marriage became legal in Ontario a year later.

"It was quite an easy decision for me to make," he said. "The clarity comes from living a life of being oppressed and being denied rights."

LaForme spoke about growing up on a First Nation reserve, living through a period when, "You had to get permission to go off the reserve" and speaking to his grandfather, whose life had been overtaken by the department of Indian Affairs, about the erosion of their Indigenous language.

He said he has always remembered what the then-Liberal justice minister, Irwin Cotler, told him upon his appointment to the appeals court.

"I said, 'Why did you pick me?' And he said, 'Well, somebody who knows justice will be somebody who has experienced injustice.' And that resonated with me."

When people say that he was ahead of his time on the same-sex marriage decision and on another that paved the way for legal use of cannabis for medical purposes, LaForme disagrees. "I think that was exactly the right time to be doing it."

LaForme and Juanita Westmoreland-Traore delivered a report to the federal justice minister in late 2021 that envisions an independent commission to consider wrongful conviction applications. And he is taking on cases related to the over-incarceration of Indigenous Peoples in his role as senior counsel at Olthuis Kleer Townshend LLP.

"Anything is better than what we do right now," he said, urging the government to do better on the issue and follow through on his recommendations. "We've got to care about the people that are incarcerated."

LaForme is not the only Order of Canada appointee who is being recognized for extraordinary achievements but who feels that their work is far from over.

Ronald Deibert, a University of Toronto professor and founder of its unique Citizen Lab, is being recognized "for his leadership and expertise in digital technology, security and human rights, and for his groundbreaking contributions to cybersecurity around the globe."

No institution houses anything quite like the lab, which combines research from different disciplines to pull back the curtain on cybersecurity. Its reports are informing international policy and global approaches to combating mercenary spyware.

"I wanted to create a counter-intelligence capacity for global civil society, and that's effectively what we do," Deibert said. He added that his role is like that of a coach or a general manager on a hockey team, and he feels he is receiving the honour on behalf of the group of professionals who conduct that work.

Deibert, who recently briefed the White House and other high-level audiences about cybersecurity risks, said he's hoping for more acknowledgment of the problem from the Canadian government. He accused Ottawa of being "asleep at the wheel."

But he expressed gratitude for being recognized with the accolade, calling it a surreal experience.

"I grew up in a working-class east Vancouver neighbourhood. I didn't even think I would get much beyond high school, and within my family, I think as far as you can go, I was the only person to go to university," he said.

"To get this award is just a huge recognition for someone like me and I think others who may be in that position. It just goes to show that ΓÇª if you care about what you do, you're passionate and you work hard, it pays off."

Simon said in a statement that the appointees' commitment to the betterment of Canada fills her with pride and hope for the future.

"Celebrated trailblazers in their respective fields, they are inspiring, educating and mentoring future generations, creating a foundation of excellence in our country that is respected throughout the world," her statement said.

The Governor General will offer the awardees their Order of Canada insignia at an investiture ceremony, with the details yet to be announced.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Dec. 29, 2022.

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Appointments to the Order of Canada

Gov. Gen. Mary Simon has appointed the following people, who were recommended for appointment by the Advisory Council of the Order of Canada:

Companions

-- John Louis Bragg (This is a promotion within the order)

-- Eugene Levy (This is a promotion within the order)

Officers

-- Gordon John Glenn Asmundson

-- Lise Francoise Aubut

-- James Ashley Corcoran

-- Michel Cote

-- Sidney Patrick Crosby

-- Eleanor Joanne Daley

-- Ronald James Deibert

-- Allen Charles Edward Eaves

-- Robert Alan Ezrin

-- Victor Jay Garber

-- Andre Gaudreault

-- Paula Beth Gordon

-- Laurence A. Gray

-- Eva Grunfeld

-- Budd Lionel Hall

-- Michael Douglas Hill

-- Walter William Jule Jr.

-- The Honourable Harry S. LaForme

-- Bernard Joseph Lapointe

-- Pierre Lassonde

-- Andreas Laupacis

-- Yves Lenoir

-- David Frederick Ley

-- Richard Caruthers Little

-- Gerald James Lozinski and Joan Mary Lozinski

-- Ivar Mendez

-- The Honourable Gerald M. Morin

-- Eli Rubenstein

-- David Saint-Jacques

-- Brian Edward Stewart

-- Barbara Lewis Zimmerman

Members

-- Jean Aitcheson

-- Shelley Diane Ambrose

-- Ted Barris

-- Marie-Dominique Beaulieu

-- Stephen Alfred Bell

-- John J. M. Bergeron

-- Kevin Luke Blackmore

-- Sheila Ruth Black

-- Bernard Joseph Bocquel

-- Louis Andre Borfiga

-- Yvonne Bonnie Bressette

-- Andre H. Caron

-- Timothy Allen Caulfield

-- The Honourable Maria Emma Chaput

-- Wayne Chaulk

-- Angela Ella Cooper Brathwaite

-- Alan Cote

-- Armand Calixte Doucet

-- Douglas Allen Dunsmore

-- Konrad Eisenbichler

-- Carolyn R. Freeman

-- Patricia Garel

-- Felix Gauthier

-- Samuel Gewurz

-- Hamlin Washington Grange

-- Allan Edward Gross

-- Feridun Hamdullahpur

-- Lori Haskell

-- Raymond John Johnson

-- Colleen Patricia Jones

-- Martin F. Katz

-- Simon Sean Keith

-- Warren Charles Seymour Kimel

-- Donald Arnold Kossick

-- Stephane Laporte

-- Karina Chenelle LeBlanc

-- Philippe Lette

-- Frederick John Longstaffe

-- John Robert Lounds

-- Brian Gerald MacKay-Lyons

-- Conor Gerard Maguire

-- Michael Massey

-- Jacqueline Mary Elizabeth Maxwell

-- Marc Daniel Mayer

-- Heather Mary McGregor

-- Roderick McKendrick

-- Bill Howard Namagoose

-- Patricia Margaret Ningewance

-- Michele Ouimet

-- Pitman Benjamin Potter

-- Benoit Robert

-- Frantz Saintellemy

-- Raymond Saint-Pierre

-- Victor Sarin

-- Michael Schmidt

-- Gary S. Segal

-- Lorraine P. Segato

-- William George Sembo

-- Mark Geoffrey Sirett

-- Donat Taddeo

-- Laurier Thibault

-- Mac Van Wielingen

-- Stanley Vollant

-- The Honourable Konrad Winrich Graf Finck von Finckenstein

-- Richard Weisel

from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/arN1pSx

#new brunswick #prince edward island #nova scotia #news #politics #canada #CTVAtlantic

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wienerbarnes · 4 years

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happy fic writer appreciation day!

there are so many talented and amazing writers on here! I'm going to try to get as many of favs on this list as possible along w my fav works by them, and I encourage everyone to tag their fav authors under this! love all y'all <3

THESE ARE IN NO SPECIFIC ORDER!!! literally just going down my likes and following list lmao

ALSO! I tag everything I've read with “fics” so feel free to search that on my blog for some recs too!

ANOTHER ALSO! I only read bucky fics! so that's what these are lol w a mix of oc’s and unnamed readers

@moteldwelling - ok honestly??? some of the BEST smut I've ever read. I think the first work of theirs I read was “let me show you” and y'all... just do yourself a favor and read thru their master list bc it is SMUT PERFECTION

@ballyhoobarnes - LIBRARIAN BUCKY YALL THATS ALL I GOTTA SAY! I'm such a sucker for these pairings that show so many moments between librarian boy Bucky and reader like there's cute stuff and insecure stuff and smut stuff and UGH I love it sm

@trillian-anders - ok the ENTIRE master list is PHENOMENAL but my fav has got to be “amor de mi vida”. like being cuban American it was so awesome to read ME not to mention 40s!Bucky ??? say less.

@all1e23 - if y'all have not read “astrophile”... u r MISSING OUT! you've got firefighter bucky AND dad bucky? PLUS the cutest daughter and the more heartwarming and slow burn story? amazing I love it

@nacho-bucky - NGL IM STILL WORKING THRU THIS MASTERLIST but I recently finished “the cupcake guy” and AH literally the most descriptive writing and I actually FEEL what buckys feeling... plus he bakes and there's cupcakes cmon

@goddamndameron - ok miss hannie doesn't write much bucky anymore BUT IF U LIKE STAR WARS STUFF CHECK HER OUT bc she's literally so talented and I love her sm

@wonderlandmind4 - I think “delicate stages” was one of the first stories I read when I got into bucky like a year and half two years ago whatever and dude. TO THIS DAY I reread it every once in a while bc its SO AMAZING. gonna warn u it will TEAR YOUR HEART APART. ESPECIALLY THE SEQUEL. but still well worth it bc its AMAZING.

@wkemeup - ok THE SMUT is *chef’s kiss* and I'm honestly torn between all of their series’ bc they all literally PULL YOUR ASS IN and like YOURE THERE and ugh. def another one I go back and reread often nuff said

@asadmarveltrashbag - another one whose smut is UN FUCKING REAL like p much all of the head cannons... fucked me ALL THE WAY up

@heli0s-writes - ok I can't NOT talk about the “cdr” series. literally the funniest thing you'll read ever. it got humor, its got personality, its got soft moments, its got smut, its THE BEST THING EVER. I miss them but the puns live in my mind rent free for the rest of time

@ugh-supersoldiers - “under oath” has gotta be one of the BEST fics I've read. like it one of those stories where you assume it'll be an interesting and good plot and it literally BLOWS YOU AWAY. like the writing is so good, so descriptive, and makes you feel ALL the things ok

@wiensrsoldier - another smut GOD like ALL the kinks and their “tiny and beefy series” THE BEST THING I COULDVE HOPED TO EVER READ ON THIS APP (I'm a slut for size kinks - clearly.)

@shreddedparchment - one of the very first blogs I followed and some of the very first fics I read. the ashes to ashes universe? actually INCREDIBLE like “you're my mission” is yet another fic I reread constantly bc its SO GOOD like the story is AMAZING and so well written w all the feelings and emotions and action and ugh. actual perfection

@sgtjbuccky - the most AMAZING SERIES’ like “death do us part” was one of the coolest fics I've ever read the plot is so GOOD and unique and just ugh. the whole master list is fire

@redgillan - the ENTIRE masterlist is worth reading but “under pastel skies” owns a part of my heart bc being an artist myself I love the idea of living vicariously thru the reader and living out my dreams of living w Bucky ok I love it

@cametobuyplums - makes me wish I was French and also buckys sugar baby bc “artistic license” is the BEST smut story ever like it will make u horn-nee not to mention the actual PLOT lol. also most beautifully organized master list ever ?? ily fizz

@writingcroissant - my fav has gotta be “paper walls” bc I am the BIGGEST SUCKER for tropes like these where like he doesn't *know* his neighbor but they're able to bond and form a relationship regardless and UGH I love this story sm they are AMAZING

@tropicalcap - ok torn between “midnight hour” and “black lines” (also - forming this list has made me painfully aware how much smut I read LMAO) but actually I LOVE the way they write and, cmon who doesn't love bucky smut especially when it involves tacos or tattoos

@indyluckycharlie - still v new but I'm currently reading “tinman” and UGH it so unique I've never read a plot like this and the FEELS are amazing this story is so COOL and I have a feeling it'll be another one of my multiple reread stories lol

@samingtonwilson - if you like friends to lovers wait until you read “apartment 8c” bc its literally friends to lovers to exes and back to friends and roommates to possible lovers again LMAO but actually this story is so fun and I LOVE stories like this that play w common tropes and make them cool and super amazing I love

@suz-123 - “crazy, beautiful” has both smut and veterinary!bucky like what more could someone want. I literally CAN NOT WAIT to see where this story goes its so cool and interesting and I'm OBSESSED with the readers personality and her and Bucky’s lil bonding moments ugh

@justreadingfics - “its a deal” has the biggest stamp of chef’s kiss literally ever its got the juiciest smut and super suave bucky and a crazy ex and the just the overall PLOT is fantastic I'm obsessed

@tinyglamdramaqueen (omg idk why I can't tag) - ok so they recently finished “alls fair in love and war” and DUDE. my jaw dropped p much every chapter like I'm begging you this is unlike any sugar baby fic ever its so AMAZING and I'm so excited to see what happens for the future of the reader and just. so so so good

holey moley. I love fics. and bucky. appreciate ur fav writers y'all.

also going to shamelessly include myself on this list bc I'm proud of the works I've written even if I'm not the most into it as some other talented writers on here

@wienerbarnes ME ok idk if other writers do this but do y'all ever re read your own works bc they're so good bc that's me w “cheek to cheek” like my ACTUAL favs I've never loved writing for a pair more and they be living in my head rent free ok I always be thinking of those rainbow underwear sets and mis matched socks

PLS!!! I ENOURAGE YALL TO TAG YOUR FAV WRITERS!!! REC ME SOMETHING!!! SHOW YOUR FAVS SOME LOVEEEEEE <3

#bucky barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes rec #Bucky Barnes series #Bucky Barnes one shot #Bucky Barnes fan fiction #fics

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iamrealbuilder · 4 years

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Bill Buchalter interview

Bill Buchalter was a level designer for Sunstorm Interactive. He’s worked on 3 official add-on of Build Engine games: Cryptic Passage for Blood, Suckin’ Grits On Route 66 for Redneck Rampage, Caribbean Life for Duke Nukem 3D. Interview, November 2020: Corentin: Can you introduce yourself?

Bill Buchalter: My name is Bill Buchalter. I’m an avid gamer of all kinds – video games, board games, and especially tabletop RPGs. I’m currently a freelance writer for AAW Games (Adventure A Week Games) writing mini adventures for Dungeons & Dragons 5E. I live outside Indianapolis, IN with my wife Jane, our three kids, and our dog Roxi. When I’m not gaming, I also enjoy music, playing guitar, hiking, and camping.

C: With Sunstorm Interactive, you're credited for level design on Cryptic Passage, Caribbean Life and Route 66. How did you start working with Sunstorm and what do you remember from that time?

BB: In the mid 90’s, maybe around 1995 or 96, I was very into playing Duke Nukem 3D. Like most PC gamers at the time, I had played Castle Wolfenstein and Doom, and Duke Nukem just blew me away. Back in those days, when we played online, we would use a 3rd party program called KALI. You dialed up on your modem, logged onto the internet, and then used KALI as a portal to chat with other gamers and find someone to play with. The KALI software would then allow you to network together over the internet and play PVP matches. It was crude, and the lag could be horrible, but we didn’t know any better at the time and we loved it!

I remember I was in a B. Dalton bookstore in the mall one day (another relic of the 90’s that is long gone!) when I found a book called the “Duke Nukem 3D Level Design Handbook”. I was intrigued, and as I flipped through the pages it talked about a program on the Duke Nukem CD called Build, which allowed you to create your own levels. I had no idea Build existed, let alone how to use it. I bought the book and spent the next couple weeks diving into learning how to use Build. I was hooked!

Making my own maps quickly became an obsession. I would share them with my friends on KALI and I quickly earned a reputation for making user maps. I remember there was a map building competition, but I don’t recall who sponsored it. A guy named Robert Travis won the competition. When I saw his maps, I was blown away! His designs were so much more advanced than mine. He was using tricks I had never thought of to get lighting effects and set moods. I had to reach out to him to pick his brain.

Robert responded and we began talking and quickly figured out that we both lived in Indianapolis. He was working for Sunstorm at the time and invited me to come to their office to discuss level design. I met him there one evening, and he showed me some of the stuff he was working on. We ended up playing Duke all night on Sunstorm’s network with some of the other guys in the office. I was in heaven!

Robert introduced me to Anthony Campiti, the lead producer on Sunstorm’s next project – Cryptic Passage, an add-on for a Build engine game called Blood. They invited me to design some levels for the game and I jumped at the chance. Robert assigned me to design an opera house level and immediately I got pictures in my head of the theater scenes from Interview with a Vampire. I went home and worked furiously on designing the level. I was still rough, but with Robert’s help I tweaked things here and there and slowly learned his techniques. In the end I was really pleased with the level I’d designed. Robert and Anthony were happy too and asked me to design a second map specifically for deathmatch.

The next project Sunstorm was working on was Suckin’ Grits on Route 66, an add-on for another Build engine game called Redneck Rampage. Robert again asked if I’d like to be a part of that team and assigned me to build a truck stop level. Using a lot of the things I’d learned on Cryptic Passage, and the campy feel of the Redneck Rampage game, I had a lot of fun designing that level.

The last project I worked on for Sunstorm was Duke Nukem Caribbean Vacation. By this time Duke’s popularity was beginning to wane, and Quake was taking over. Robert was already starting to experiment and learn how to use the Quake engine. I was a new dad at the time (my first daughter had just been born) so unfortunately, I didn’t have the spare time to devote to learning a new engine. I barely had the time to design my level for Duke Caribbean, but I did manage to finish the casino level for that project. I do recall that Robert ended up going through in the end and changing a lot of the aspects of my level to fit the theme they had in mind. I remember being a bit disappointed and not really feeling like the level was “mine” because of so many of the changes. It was the last project I worked on for Sunstorm.

I kept in touch with Robert and Anthony for a while after that. They were branching out, working on other projects, and even trying to develop their own FPS game that I don’t think ever really got off the ground. Sunstorm was having the most success with their Deer Hunter line of games that at the time were selling well in Wal-Mart. Sadly, I eventually just lost touch with those guys.

I’m sure this is WAY more information than you were wanting (I’m a writer… I can’t help but go off the deep end!) but you dusted off some fond, old memories for me, so I apologize for walking so far down memory lane!

C: I see that you're still making maps, different kind of maps! This makes me wonder if maybe you were involved with W!Zone (a pack of maps for Warcraft 2 released by Sunstorm). Can you tell us a bit about that if possible?

BB: I didn’t have any hand in the W!Zone project for Sunstorm, but I loved the Warcraft series. As was common for many video gamers like me, who had roots in fantasy games like D&D, I played a lot of Warcraft and eventually got sucked into the world of MMOs with Ultima Online, Everquest, and World of Warcraft! If only I had back the time I sunk into those games!

These days I’m exclusively writing and designing for Dungeons and Dragons. I started about ten years ago writing for D&D Organized Play in a campaign called Living Forgotten Realms. I co-authored two adventures for that with my good friend, Michael Pearman, and authored a third adventure on my own. As you know from tracking me down via AAW Games, I’ve now authored six adventures for them, five of which are already published and one that is still in the works but should be released soon.

When I do manage to find time for video games, Diablo III is my game of choice these days. I’m looking forward to Season 22 starting here shortly, and like many others, I’m really hoping for something great with Diablo IV. I’ve been a huge fan of the series since the beginning, and even wrote an entire campaign for D&D 5E that translated the story of Diablo III into Dungeons and Dragons for the players in my home game! Thanks again for the opportunity to share some of this history. It was fun putting it all down and reliving those days!

C: There are two signatures in the Truck Stop level for Route 66. Do you remember anything about that ? There also several levels with no known credit : Fun Park, House of ill Repute, Mystery Dino Cave, Bigfoot Convention.

The signature on the truck stop is Route 66 was a joke! I was the only designer on that one. I just signed it "Billy Joe Jim Bob Buchalter" as a joke for bad redneck name. I wasn't the kind of guy that had to sign my maps the EXACT same way every time. :)

Other than the truck stop, I don't recall designing any other maps for Route 66. I pretty sure none of those you listed below were mine, but I don't recall whose they were.

Finally, here are some final comments Bill made after reading through some forum posts:

Wow, I am really quite humbled that you guys looked so deeply into my work! The fact that you could recognize my build style is pretty cool - I didn't even know I had a style! LOL. The truth be told, the reason you probably had so much trouble telling my levels from Robert's is because he was a big influence on me. I learned a lot from him and incorporated a lot of that into the stuff I built.

Its funny how reading through that thread you linked brought back memories... I remember now that my biggest disappointment from Duke Caribbean was that my only level in the game ended up being a secret level - that some people wouldn't even find it or ever play it. I was actually pretty excited about that level. I was the one that suggested a casino because my folks had retired to Vegas, so I'd been in a lot of the casinos there and had some great ideas for the map. I'd forgotten all about the restaurant I worked into it, and the big fish tanks.

There seems to be some debate about Robert. From what I remember, he was a really good guy. Maybe a bit tough to work for, but only because he really strived for our designs to be the best they could be, and he demanded that of both himself and the other designers. As I said before, I learned early on to accept criticism and critique and not take it personally. It was just Robert doing his job. I'll be the first to admit that I designed better levels thanks to the stuff I learned from Robert.

Someone on the message board made a very astute comment, basically to the effect that "Bill had to have other work out there. Sunstorm wouldn't hire an unproven guy off the street." But truth be told, that's exactly what they did! I hadn't done a single thing before working there. But I think a few things played in my favor. First, I lived in Indy, just 15 minutes from their office, so it was easy for me to go in and work directly with Robert. Second, while I didn't have anything officially published, I did have a disk full of the maps I'd designed on my own, and Robert thought I showed promise. I would design at home a lot, then go into the office a couple times a week and sit with Robert while he critiqued my work and offered advice on how to improve it.

I'll be honest - I'm blown away at the number of people STILL playing these old maps we made so many years ago. I watched a couple YouTube videos of a guy playing and reviewing Duke Caribbean and Blood Cryptic Passage. His high praise of both Full House and the Opera House really made my day. It's nice to know that people enjoyed my work.

_____________________________

Thanks a lot to Bill Buchalter for taking the time to answer these questions! Thanks also for sharing... “Big City” !

A Duke Nukem 3D map he created back in the day before joining with Sunstorm Interactive which was never released before! Screenshot:

Map download:

https://msdn.duke4.net/bigcity.zip

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External link: Duke4 forum blog megathread: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/11471-blog-interviews-of-build-engine-video-games-developers/page__pid__353013#entry353013 The forum posts Bill read, mentionned above, can be found here: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/9418-duke-caribbean-multiplayer-levels/

#build #build-engine #blood #duke nukem #redneck-rampage #duke #nukem #duke nukem 3D #video games #route 66 #caribbean life #cryptic passage

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aanotheruniverse · 4 years

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Something close to my heart I wrote a few years ago

THE SUICIDE CLINIC

CIARAN HARDIE

The Waiting Room Nobody made eye contact at the Suicide Clinic. Everybody knew why you were there. If you are about to kill yourself, small talk is not really a high priority. As George craned his neck to take in the high ceiling, he was reminded of the similarly high ceilings in airports, and the Suicide Clinic is a sort of an airport - a temporary drop-off point between life and death. The Clinics all looked the same inside: spacious, fashionably modern, with wide white corridors, littered with suicide prevention signs and pretentiously artistic glass panels. They were the type of place where the floor squeaks as you drag your feet across it. To George's left side was a black man, in his fifties, whose short hair had started to turn white. Chancing a glance at him, George couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to him, and how his life had brought him to this moment. On his left, was an elderly woman clutching a kitsch pink handbag. A man sat in the corner of the room, dressed like a rocker, had his head firmly in his hands. Amidst the waiting room, George felt his individuality and personality slip away; he was just another face in the crowd. He felt, and not just in this moment alone, merely an observant to the world, and not a participant. He was simply being. Nothing happens after death, it’s all just biology and chemistry. Life, George thought, my life, maybe life itself is wholly insignificant objectively, so he had stopped bothering to try to add any subjective meaning to his life either. Although everything is, eventually it will not be, so why bother? Before Emma had taken her own life, George had never really given suicide and the means of suicide much thought, which can be cited as a good thing. Carbon monoxide poisoning is pretty painless, and you could even sleep through it, but there’s a bit of a tedious wait. Best to get it over with as quick as possible with something like hanging, but that’s a tad dark and unpleasant. Suicide bombing would be quick, but George didn’t know the first thing about improvising an explosive. Lethal injection lacks the sex appeal of exploding, or setting yourself on fire, or whatever, and a pill overdose would be too painful. At the Clinics, they provide you with the most sought-after method of suicide - although a difficult commodity to come by in England - a handgun. You would think the handgun would be the ultimate solution to a quick and easy suicide, but all sorts can go wrong. People attempt to shoot themselves from funny angles and often, they shoot only their ears off, or their nose, or part of their chin, and some even miss entirely. If a non-fatal shot were to be fired, there are medics waiting on site at the Clinic, but there would only be one bullet per gun at a time, so you only had one chance to get it right. If you were to miss, you would have to get a new ticket and wait all over again. Once you were dead, the Body Disposers would come and take care of your remains. Afterwards, the room is tidied spotless for the next person. As the unattractive glare from the overly-polished floor caught George’s eye, he was stuck by the institution’s obsession with cleanliness; would people really care if the room they were coming to die in were a little dirty? When George had collected his ticket (Number #227) from the annoyingly pretty receptionist, she had explained the procedure and he had to fill out a form, savouring the Clinic from any responsibility over your imminent death. They also let you choose what you hear before you die. George had known this in advance and had brought with him a CD of himself and Emma talking. One night, a couple of years ago now, Emma had interrupted one of his recording sessions, and he had accidentally left the tape running for hours, and recorded their conversation. They laughed about it and listened to the tape back after realising. Now that she was dead, and things had changed so severely, it felt like a tape from another universe, a relic of a time that now it is over, felt like it had never really existed in the first place. You also got to choose what image was projected in front of you as you die too, and he had brought a photograph of Emma from when he first met her. First there were designer handbags, then designer babies, and now, you could even design your own death. They didn’t want people to kill themselves, but local authorities couldn’t deal with the amount of blood and carcass painting their streets. Washing out the high street every morning, before the foggy-eyed, grey-faced consumers came to... consume, became somewhat of a chore. First there was the Super Hose, which lived up to its name only in its size, and not in efficiency. A team of Body Disposers would hose down the streets and it would all be drained down the newly introduced sewer system - the Bloodstream. The larger pieces, too big to be collanderised, would be put in the back of a lorry and driven off to an infirmary. Naturally, people revolted. They didn’t like the Super Hose, they didn’t like the strewn organs down their high street, and they especially didn’t like the Body Disposers, with their threatening red jumpsuits. George, who was fairly up to date with current affairs, remembered how it all had started: a research team in Europe had been controversially investigating if suicide-prone individuals would be more likely to commit suicide if the process was facilitated for them. George could no longer recall the results of the experiment, and it had become irrelevant now anyway, as the English government had leapt onto the idea, and implemented Suicide Clinics in every major town to cope with the epidemic. A place you could go to kill yourself, and not make so much of a mess for everybody left here still existing once you were gone. 24/7, 365, a place to die. Everywhere had a McDonald’s and a Suicide Clinic. It was supply and demand. People still threw themselves off buildings, however. Some people just refuse to conform to committing in the way they are “supposed” to commit. Drowning maintained a popular alternative too, and it handily came without the dreaded stigma of pavement bombing. There was one case, George remembered, in the news, where one lake was deemed such a spot of idyllic beauty that it had to be dredged due to the sheer number of bodies in it. Of course, the biggest concern to the authorities was simply why were so many people suddenly killing themselves? What had happened in order to make suicide rates increase tenfold? Even now, nobody really knows. As George’s mind wandered the history of the Clinics, he ran in to the question that had driven him in to one of them. Why, like all the other hundreds of thousands of people, had Emma killed herself? She was the one who had handled the break-up; she was the one who’d carried on with her life and her degree and seemed unchanged by things. George was the one who had been made redundant; the one who begged for her back; the one whose life had shrivelled up to being no more than an exercise of misery. Yet two weeks ago to the day, George had received the news: Emma, like all the others, had walked in to a Suicide Clinic, collected her ticket, waited her turn, and ended her life. 14 days of looking for answers had driven George to do the same. Still, in this waiting room, as he anticipated his death, George couldn’t help but wonder why? TPs (Technological People) - “Robots” had been deemed a derogatory term - had certainly had something to do with the other suicides. If there was a TP that could do your job, within a few weeks, you would be out of work. That’s what had happened to George, who was once a recruitment consultant for the IT industry, but now there was a computer that could do his job better, and for free. Conglomerates totally replaced the working human race with TPs. As you would conduct your life; shopping, eating, working, living, you were no longer greeted by human faces, but by metallic, dead-eyed, machines. Technology had sucked all the life out of the world, and days and weeks could go by without seeing another human face. Human social interaction all but died out, and friendship can no longer exist in these conditions, unless it is virtual. George wondered all the time, what is everybody doing? The human race has never been so unproductive. After millennia of rapid evolution in the right direction, we have just ceased. We slowed down, and then we stopped altogether. Nobody is doing anything, they are just existing. Observants, and not participants. That’s the fundamental problem, George thought, people’s lives aren’t worth living anymore, and the people are realising it. Shit, he was realising it after all, and now had come to do the same as all the others. A collective air of nihilism is present at every turning. We are opting out of the game; we just don’t want to play any more. Every day, another lieu of faces at the Clinic, another batch of people who won’t play, if they don’t see the point in playing. The cliches about finding yourself, determining your own happiness, and bringing meaning in to your own life don’t stick anymore, and the futility overwhelms. What’s the fucking point? They want an objective answer to that question. George became aware that he had started breathing heavily, and tried to decelerate his thinking, and calm himself down. He realised he had been clutching his right thigh very hard, and let go. He looked around the room once more; everybody shared the same expression of utter resignation. In the 54th minute since George had collected his ticket (#227), the silence in the room reached a no longer bearable decibel, and his fidgeting could no longer oppress his discomfort. Desperately, George wanted to engage the rest of the room in conversation. He had no idea what he wanted to say to all of these strangers, but the urge was definitely there. Feeling an excruciating sensation rise up in to his chest, George found himself on his feet and then over at the annoyingly pretty ticket- giver’s desk. “Hi”, George spoke, with no idea what he was doing. “Hi”, the ticket-giver looked up at him with an ill-disguised look of animosity. “Er, do you reckon I could, like, wait somewhere else? Is there like a private waiting room?” “Does there seem to be a problem with this waiting room?” “No, it’s not that, it’s just, I feel, uncomfortable waiting around with all these strangers”. “Sir, I can assure you that everybody feels the same. Please take your seat”. “Okay, well that doesn’t make anybody feel any better”. “Sir, please take your seat and wait for your number to be called”. George opened his mouth to respond, but found himself heading back to his seat. Across the room, sitting with her legs crossed, was Emma. George blinked in incredulity, but she was still there. She gave him a flirtatious wave. George got to his feet and tentatively walked across the room. “Yes?”, said the girl, and after a beat, “Can I help you?” “No. Sorry. I just thought you were someone else.” Back in his seat, George mentally kicked himself for being so stupid. She’s dead, he told himself, she’s dead. “Seeing me everywhere are you, George?”, Emma’s voice hit his ears, “Can’t get me out of your head?” The black man was no longer sitting to the left of George. Instead, Emma was there, with her perfect legs and tangled brown mane of hair. Laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it all, George replied, “Can’t get you out of my head? Well that’s why I’m here isn’t it?” “What if it doesn’t work though?”, said Emma, as if the idea gave her great pleasure, “What if after you kill yourself there’s some sort of afterlife based on your living psychology? What if your eternity is me?” “Then I’ll have to find a a way to kill myself again”. “You can only kill yourself once, silly”. “Oh I know, it’s a grand shame, I would have done it loads by now, if I could. I’d wake up every morning any kill myself” “So dramatic”. Even a hallucinatory image of Emma could still get right under George’s skin. “You always call me dramatic, when you’re the one that’s dramatic” “You’re the one who’s speaking to a dead girl”. Anger swelled in George but before he could release a venomous retort, Emma was gone, and the black man was back in her place. “Okay, number 227, you’re up next”, the ticket-giver’s announcement brought George back to reality. “If you’d like to follow me”. Checking his ticket, George got to his feet yet again and followed her out of the waiting room and down a narrow, white corridor. The gravity of the situation hit George at once, and he felt the need to gag. When they reached the menacing black door, George stifled his queasiness. George resented himself for not wanting to embarrass himself in front of the ticket-giver. “Everything in the room will be exactly as you’ve been told”, she said, “The sound will already be playing, and when you enter the room, the image you’ve chosen will be projected in front of you. The gun is on a platform right in the centre of the room, you can’t miss it”. She held the black door open for him, and George entered the last room he would ever enter. The door closed behind him, and he was left alone. The CD of George and Emma was already playing over the sound system, and his stomach continued to churn unpleasantly. But, there was no image being projected. Rather, Emma herself was standing in front of George, looking as she had in the photo George had chosen. Her school uniform brought out her immaturity, and George felt a twinge as this is how she had looked when he had first fallen in love with her. “Of course you chose to have an image of me where I’m in my school uniform. You’re such a perv”, she said, purposefully emphasising her disdain. “This is how you looked when I first met you”. “Yeah, before you knew me. Before you knew you couldn’t control me, and I wasn’t really just a little girl. You put me in this uniform because you want to keep up the charade of me loving you and you controlling me”. How could she still be torturing me, George thought. Even now, after she’s gone, she’s still hellbent on torturing me. “It wasn’t a charade”, George replied, flatly. “I didn’t love you, George. I never did. I was young, I didn’t know”. “That doesn’t mean anything. You still loved me”. He was yelling already; George was always quick to yell at her, as she had liked to point out when she was still alive. “No I didn’t, George”. At times like these, George didn’t know if he loved her or hated her. Clearly, the more obvious feeling was hate, and every single word she said was like a personal calculated insult to him. And yet, he was so willing to get her to submit to him and admit that she loved him. “I wish I could still kill you. I wish you weren’t dead, purely for that reason. I want to bring you back to life just to choke you with my bare fucking hands”. “Well, I’m here. And hey, you don’t even need to use your hands. There’s a gun”. George was totally disoriented, and things had stopped making sense altogether... maybe he was already dead. He didn’t know, but with immense satisfaction, he picked up with gun and pulled the trigger. It was a perfect shot, hitting her square in the temple, and blood that was so dark it was more black than red, began to gush from the wound. She stayed standing. “What the fuck?” George looked around and hit himself in the face, trying to put a stop to the insanity, “Why aren’t you dead?” “George, silly, you think that’s going to kill me. This isn’t what it looks like; you’re still in the waiting room”. The walls around George warped and blurred until he realised he was in fact, still sitting in his chair in the waiting room. Emma was now sitting in the ticket-giver’s chair behind the desk, and she teased George from across the room, “Think you’re going crazy, George? Think you’re losing it yet?” “I have nothing to lose”, he muttered. “Seriously! All the fucking drama all the fucking time!” She seemed to be completely unaware of the fact that she was provoking him. “Shut the fuck up”. He had to end it, and a force comparable to nothing he had felt before flung him to his feet and he made his way over to the desk. He was going to hit her... he was going to hit her so fucking hard... And she vanished again, out of thin air, leaving George trembling on his feet in the middle of the waiting room. Knowing her next move, he turned around and as he expected, saw her sitting in his chair, looking very casual, and very, very happy. She reached into her pocket, pulled out a pack of cigarettes, and lit one. “You can’t smoke in here”. Now, standing outside of the Clinic, each puffing on a cigarette, George racked his brain once more for answers. “You didn’t get this done, I don’t believe you. I know there’s something else going on here; this type of shit wouldn’t make sense to you”. “Because you know me so well?” God, why can’t she just turn it off for one second, George thought to himself. “Okay, maybe you’re right, maybe I don’t know you at all. I think that sometimes, that I just had it wrong the whole time. That we were so close and yet at the same time, we really didn’t know each other at all. But we spent 4 years together, Emma, I know for a fact that you did not kill yourself. You wouldn’t go to once of these places”. He was certain of it. “But you would, I know that. You have, after all”. “Only because you did”. “But you just said I didn’t do it!” “Okay, only because you allegedly did it!” “That’s not fun. You’re just gunna give up? You’re not gunna figure it out?” “I can’t figure you out”. “Draaaaaaamaaaaa”. A sigh escaped George. “Come on, George, if I killed myself, I wouldn’t have used this place. I would have just done it, you know, jumped off a bridge or slit my fucking wrists or something. I wouldn’t have come and sat in a queue and all this shit. Come on, you know I wouldn’t have done that”. “I don’t know why I’m here”. This was the truest thing George had said in recent memory. “You would’ve ended up at this place, whether you thought I had or not. This is so George; it’s got your name written all over it. You were always gonna kill yourself.” “I dunno. I guess, although everything is, eventually it will not be... So why bother?” “Come on, George, think. What happened to me?” George furrowed his brow, and concentrated. He visualised Emma, and his memories of Emma, trying to remember every moment they had shared together, in the hope of something somewhere igniting an epiphany. He remembered walking down his old suburban street with her, hand in hand. She would always instinctively take his hand, and not taking her hand would always cue an argument. He remembered how when she had so suddenly fallen out of love with him, how she had flinched when he had tried to touch her. He longed for the days when she would take his hand, without him having to take hers. Deeper memories... he remembered hugging her late one night down the high street after a comment from a tramp had made her cry. How something so stupid like a comment from a tramp could have shattered her, and made her need him. How truly fragile she had been underneath her tough demeanour. He remembered the smell of her hair, the smooth of her legs, and then, he remembered the sensation of her legs pressed against his head, and his tongue inside her vagina. He remembered how she would wither and moan, and clutch at the bedsheets. Was any of it real? Everything is so brief. Everything feels like it wasn’t true, like it was just a delusion, George thought. To him, everything just felt like some fucked up chemical imbalance in his brain. Too many drugs. Too much TV. But her, such a pretty, perfect thing. She had to have been real, the only real thing in a sea of distortion. Although everything is, eventually it will not be... George jolted in his chair in the waiting room. Emma was gone. The elderly woman sitting to George’s right turned to him, and said, “Were you thinking about eating out my pussy?” “What?!” George said, flabbergasted. It took a moment for Emma to take the place of the elderly woman. “I said were you thinking about eating my pussy? You were, weren’t you? Your lip quivers when you think about cunnilingus, George. I’m dead, you know, isn’t that a bit necrophilic?” “You’re not fucking dead!”, George yelled at the top of his lungs, and as he did, all the lights in the Clinic abruptly turned off, and all the people around George and Emma became immobile. Emma erupted in to tears and teared towards the door to the corridor. He couldn’t let her get away, she had to answer for this, so he pelted after her down the long, white corridor, calling after her. “Emma, wait! Emma! Emma! Come back!” She was impossibly quick, quicker than Emma had really been, quicker than anyone had ever been. George reached another door which had no handle, and began banging on it. “Emma, let me in! Emma, let me in, let me in now!” Emma called back from the other side of the door, her voice thick with authentic terror, “Leave me alone! I’m scared.” “I’m nothing to be fucking scared of Emma!” She had always said she was scared. Knowing she wouldn’t submit to persuasion alone at the time being, George kicked down the door which came off with surprising ease. George found himself in his flat kitchen, just as he had left it this morning before heading out. Emma was darting across the flat towards the front door, but he managed to catch up and grab her arm as she tried to negotiate her way around the furniture. “LET GO OF ME!” she squealed, still crying. “Emma, wait!”, there was tremendous force in George’s voice, “Listen to me”. “You’re fucking hurting me, George”. “How could you do that to me?!”, he screamed square in to her face, “How could you fuck those other guys! You’re fucking evil!” “Then let me go! Let me go, George, now!” Without thinking, he punched her and she fell to the floor. She was still fighting back, and with all his strength, he restrained her and, still without thinking, began to strangle her. She gasped and clawed at his face with her nails, but he wasn’t to be stopped. She pressed her thumbs in to his eye sockets, momentarily blinding him, and when he regained his vision, he was back in the waiting room. The lights were still off, the people around were still all in a dead sleep, and Emma was still in the place of the elderly woman. “Oooh, maybe that’s what happened!”, she said with tantalising excitement, “Maybe you killed me! What if you’re crazy? Like, like actually crazy. What if you killed me and you don’t even remember killing me?” “Emma, shut up. This is serious”. “What? Is it not dramatic enough for you?” The anger George had felt had climaxed with the sensation of asphyxiating her, and now he felt nothing but sad. “Were you scared of me, Emma?”, he asked. “Yes”. “Why?” “You’re obsessive, George. It’s too much. It’s scary”. The words instantly drew tears out of George’s eyes, and he wept. “Don’t you care that you hurt me?” Emma exhaled, and sounded more serious than she was normally capable of being. “You stole my childhood, George. You scandalised me”. “What fucking good is a childhood anyway! Hey! Who wants one!”, the notion of a spoilt childhood brought back George’s anger as if it hadn’t gone anywhere. She looked back at him with the same repulse that he recalled vividly from their last ever encounter. She spoke the same words, “I’m gonna go now”. George clutched her shoulder and searched her eyes for the person he once knew. “No, please, please don’t go Emma, not again. Don’t make me do this, please, please don’t leave me”. “See you on the other side, George” “NOOOO!” She had evaporated. The lights to the Clinic turned back on, and the people around came back to life. But George was really screaming this time, and the people around him jumped back in their seats. He wasn’t able to get out any words, he was just wailing at the top of his lungs. The ticket-giver instantly dashed out of her seat and over to George. “Sir, please, calm down, sir, sir, please, if you’d like to come with me”. “Fuck off!”, George mustered and threw his shoulder away from her as she tried to touch it. Two especially muscly Body Disposers with vacant faces barged in to the waiting area and each grabbed one of George’s arms. George was taken aback by their strength, and started flailing his legs around. The people in the waiting room looked in horror as George shouted, “No! This is wrong! This is all wrong!” The Body Disposers dragged George out of the waiting room, down the white corridor, and through yet another door. This time they had entered a much smaller room than any of the others, and the walls all matched the red of the Disposer’s ghastly jumpsuits. Before George could react, one of the Body Disposers was injecting him with a foul-smelling blue liquid. “What the fuck is that?!” George exclaimed. Nobody responded. After he had been injected, the Body Disposers softened their grip on him and he was able to break free, push the ticketgiver out of the way, and he flung open the door and began sprinting for the waiting room. The Disposers and the ticket-giver gave chase, and his feet slipped on the squeaky corridor floor. George felt as though his legs were filling up with concrete, and movement became an increasing struggle. His back hunched and he felt as though something invisible was pulling him down to the floor. Still, he pushed on and reached the waiting room door, and without a second of conscious-decision making, flung himself at the black man’s feet. “Don’t kill yourself. Please. Please, don’t kill yourself”. A few people jumped to their feet, and even the rocker with his head in his hands looked up at the commotion. The man looked back at him as if George had just asked for his hand in marriage. The concrete sensation as now filling his entire body, and he felt like an anchor was forcing him through the ground. “DON’T KILL YOURSELVES”, George screamed at the rest of the waiting room, and before the Body Disposers grabbed him again, he fell to the floor, unconscious.

#writing #prose #suicide #depression #heartbreak #literature #publishers

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hunnybadgerv · 4 years

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Writer Ask Meme 3. What is your favorite/least favorite part about writing? 10. Pick an author (or writing friend) to co-write a book with 12. Which story (or: stories) of yours do you like best? why? 17. What things (scenes/topics/character types) are you most comfortable writing? 29. Is writing more of a hobby or do you write with the intention of getting published? 36. Post a snippet 49. Favorite fictional world?

Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing: 30 Questions for Authors

3. What is your favorite/least favorite part about writing? Getting started. Once I’m writing, I can usually find the zone. But it’s getting started that is always the hardest for me. Like this morning, I didn’t know where to even start. So, I opted to edit, since it is something I wanted to accomplish this week. And I know that in the revision process I also tend to refine my prose, i.e., write, so my editing and writing work today coincided.

I have, however, written every day this month and I’m hoping to continue that trend. But regardless of the time of day, getting started tends to be my biggest obstacle overall.

10. Pick an author (or writing friend) to co-write a book with. Must it only be one? Gosh.

There are so many great writers I know, more than I could ever even try to consider for this.

I’ve always admired @theoriginalladya for the uniqueness of her ideas and character development are second to none; I equally love and hate when she and I talk about her characters because I get super excited about them because of how amazing they are. Then I quickly become obsessed, which may or may not be the only “bad” thing. @painterofhorizons has angst super powers; even in a snippet of text she can rip your soul clean from your body. Her writing is so evocative and emotionally striking. Then there is @chyrstis, whose ability to seamlessly weave humor into her fics sparks more than envy. She manages to put characters into such believable, yet laughable situations that it only serves to endear them to readers.

I’m not sure I could ever co-write a piece, but I would count myself lucky to write with any of the writers I regularly associate with, especially one of these three. Apologies to all the amazing writers I know who I did not mention by name, but I already didn’t follow the question in the first place by mentioning three rather than a single one.

12. Which story (or: stories) of yours do you like best? why? Oh gosh. This is so cruel. One story! Really? That’s all. Honestly, First Watch of the Night (Guardians in the Darkness Series) is one of my favorite. I think that might be in part because of nostalgia--it is Nyx Shepard’s WIP. I actually have it planned all the way through ME3, though I’ve currently stalled in the revision process in the ME1 timeline. I’m not sure why either.

I find myself wondering if the reason I have not finished it is because once I know what happens, maybe I won’t have the drive to finish writing it. Maybe I can’t get past the block because I’m worried that finishing their story will vacate those muses from my mind, which I kind of don’t want. I really have grown quite attached to Nyx, Kaidan, and her crew.

Honestly, I think that might be the struggle I end up in with all my longer fics. Short fics in collection are so much easier because the story never has to end. A long fic follows a certain line and has a definite conclusion, which I think worries me.

17. What things (scenes/topics/character types) are you most comfortable writing? Umm, If you were to look at characters like Tayen Quick, Nyx and Feign Shepard, Furia, Remy McGinnis, Mari Ryder, Cyna Mahariel, and Laerke, you’d see a common thread connecting them. I tend enjoy writing strong female characters, especially those that are flawed or broken in some way. Honestly, Nyx and Furia, also to some extent Leah Rook, all share imposter syndrome to one degree or another--so does Mari. I always tend to have one or two characters that share a flaw. I have Mari, Laerke, and Furia who have all lost their entire families. Characters that come from big families. But I tend to write female protagonists more so than males.

29. Is writing more of a hobby or do you write with the intention of getting published? I published a short story in college. And I really would like to be published some day. Right now, I am mostly writing for me. I’ve got original fiction ideas, but I don’t work on them currently. I focus on my fandom work in order to practice and hone the skills and plans I have for future pieces.

I want to write something in the mix of fantasy/sci-fi. But I also have a strong sense of realism. I still hold tight to Mark Twain’s statement that the difference between real life and fiction is that fiction has to make sense. Things have to stem logically from one another in a story, and I always try to ground my writing in experience--sights, smells, sounds, textures that my readers can be familiar with--in order to add some sense of connection. I try to make my characters flawed in ways that feel accurate to them.

A part of me screams in the back of my head that I am a writer. I can be an author, but a part of me worries that perhaps it may not happen. I keep writing. And I keep trying new things. I’ll always be a storyteller. I will keep writing and falling in love with fictional beings and places that I cannot resist exploring.

36. Post a snippet This is from First Watch of the Night. I really love the characters and depth I managed to capture in this piece. Honestly, it’s one of the pieces of my own writing that intimidates me ... a lot. I don’t write the same way anymore. I feel like my writing lacks the same emotional depth right now. And I’m not sure why. It might have to do with how disconnected from other humans I have been in the last decade.

The scene here is Nyx Shepard and her father from Chapter 18:

The two Shepards watched one another for a long moment, before Taranis returned his attention to one of the soft cherries. The commander sighed, sipping her tea quietly while the captain waited. It was his usual tactic. He knew there was more and he could always wait her out. Nyx would talk to him in her own time, even if it had to be in carefully crafted abstractions. His daughter knew the drill. Taranis' methods were nothing new to her. He would take long pauses, allowing her to consider all the things she was not telling him. Then he would ask careful questions in case it was actually related to her current or a classified assignment--since need to know could interfere with her desire to disclose and his fatherly curiosity.

Whatever it was, Nyx held onto it much longer than usual, which told him she really did not want to bring it up. Despite this, Taranis knew she would relent because she kept glancing over at him with a look that suggested she was merely trying to find the way to bring it up. Nyx always came first for him; he redirected his career to give her the life she had, a life where there was always one parent there to hold her tight when things weren't just so. He knew it was not perfect, but he did everything he could to be there for her.

Nyx sighed as she set the tea cup on the table between them. "Fine," she breathed heavily.

It took another few moments for her to look up at him. Then she scooted a little closer, lowering her voice in discretion. Watching her carefully Taranis could not quite be sure what she was going to say, but she bit her lip and winced a little when she finally asked a question he never expected to hear.

"What did you do when you met Mom?"

Everything froze for a second or two as he stared at her. The little blush on her cheeks threw her father for a loop, but made him smile. "Well, damn."

The commander shook her head at him, trying to discourage him from thinking too hard about what she had just asked.

"Answer the question, please."

Captain Taranis Shepard rubbed his hand through the short stubble on the back of his head as he stared at his daughter in stunned silence. "I avoided her. Tried to just keep my distance. I even put in for a transfer," he admitted with a wry smile. "It got denied because I did not put in what command thought was a valid reason. Then, on leave, I talked to your Grandpa Shepard about it."

Nyx smiled and laughed. "And what did the old devil dog have to say about that?"

Her voice held a note of disbelief that her father was not surprised to hear. Taranis' father was a stickler for rules, regulations, expectations. He was strict and set high expectations. The captain could tell by the way his daughter eyed the dregs in her tea cup that she was as completely unprepared for what her father was about to say as Taranis had been when he heard it.

"He told me it was not a weakness to want someone to be part of your life."

Nyx's eyes darted to his. She was easily as shocked as he had been. Moving the tea cup, Taranis laid her hand out in his and covered it with the other.

"I told him all the things, I'm pretty sure you're telling yourself right now. All the excuses about regs, concerns, and bad experiences and stories you've heard," Taranis said quietly as he stroked the back of her hand lightly.

She leaned toward him. Her voice was tight with emotion. "And?"

Holding her hand tightly, her father smiled at her softly. "He told me that there are some things that outweigh the regs."

They were both quiet for a moment as Nyx let herself fall back in the chair. Her mind was clearly racing. Kirk Shepard had always stern, at best; he still was totally by the book in everything except when he met his wife. That was the only rule Taranis could think of his father ever even bending, let alone breaking out right. Nyx had been very close with both her grandfathers; she respected them as men and as marines. For her they were role models, people she that influenced her greatly.

"I'm going to tell you something you probably don't know. My parents met in the service, too. We Shepards seem to fall for our brethren," he said playfully. Nyx did not look relieved in the slightest. "He almost lost her on a mission. Even in love, your grandfather was still the same man. He couldn't justify risking the primary objective. The mission at all costs, you know?"

Taranis knew she understood it. Hell, he knew she lived that decree just as solidly as his father.

"She made it out alive, barely. Your grandfather, sentimental bastard, proposed to her when she woke up from surgery. Grandma Amelie was just as stoic as he was. Told him she would consider it, but only if he promised to do always put the mission first, even if she was in his command. She believed him when he said he would. Even lived up to it. Had to put her at risk once more in the field before they got married."

"And he told you this when you asked him about Mom?"

"Yep," Taranis said, nodding as he studied his daughter's reaction. "I was rather hoping I wouldn't have to tell it to you, but I guess it was too much to hope you'd break the trend of falling for servicemen."

She shrugged and looked at their hands for a long moment. "Seemed to be going well for a while," Nyx said quietly.

"Just tell me it's not the Zingel kid."

Her laugh made him smile, and brightened her eyes. "No, it's not Caz."

Taranis leaned back in his chair, fidgeting with his uniform for a moment. "So, tell me something about this fella."

The way she tilted her head at him suggested that the question might have been her maximum.

"At least tell me his name so I can start checking up and get a little peace."

"Da."

"Fine." Taranis let his hands fall on the arms of his chair. "Don't relieve your old father of the undue stress he is now placed under worrying about what kind of man his plucking his daughter's heart strings."

"Seriously?" she replied with a doubtful look.

They both knew she did not see herself as the type of woman who was plucked, but Taranis had a long and vivid memory and he could still recall the girl with the romantic sensibilities.

"What? I remember the shelves of Austen, Gaskell, and the Brontes. Then there were the sonnets your grandmother always sent you. And if I recall you were planning on marrying Captain Wentworth." He tilted his head at her slightly. "Perhaps I should have seen this coming after all."

They both laughed. Then Nyx sprang forward and hugged her father around the neck. "I've missed you, Da."

"I love you, Nyxy-girl."

Her lips were warm on his cheek. "Love you, too," she repeated before she stood. "I should probably go."

"We should do this again," her father offered, as he stood and proffered his arm. "Soon."

His daughter smiled and looked away for a moment. "Sure. As soon as I can."

Once they exited the little shop, they stopped and he touched her cheek before he bent and kissed her forehead again. He did not like her chosen phrase. Taranis knew she meant it, but he also knew the schedule she had kept for the past several years and there was little hope of relief given the most recent change.

"I'd prefer sooner," he noted.

It always killed him to say what he said next, the phrase was tradition, but always made his heart ache because he knew there was always a chance that he could lose his girl in the line of duty. He had been in her boots and hung them up for her. She had taken them up with fervor and so much more skill and determination than Taranis ever possessed.

"Good hunting, Commander," he said, a waver in his voice, as he saluted her sharply.

Nyx returned it as smartly as she would to an admiral. "Thank you Captain."

Taranis watched the girl with her mother's hair and his eyes weave through the crowds in the wards. He remembered meeting a boy once, at her basic graduation. Keith or Kyle or something that started with a K. He managed to stick around until a few months after her graduation from Exeter. Somehow the kid had stuck it out through three mission deployments before the relationship ended without so much as a whimper. The captain could not remember his name or much else about him. Even after a few years together, his daughter never hinted at the question she just asked. It elated and scared the hell out of him.

49. Favorite fictional world? I really enjoy writing ME and in SWTOR. They are amazing worlds full of science, magic, adventure, and drama. Though I’m also drawn to fantasy for the same reasons. But I think futuristic worlds and space are some of my favorites.

#Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing #30 Questions for Authors #Writer Questions #long post #painterofhorizons

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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1025

Have you ever started reading a book and wondered if you’d read it before? I don’t read all that often so no, I don’t usually feel as though I’m encountering a book for the second time. I do read a lot of wrestlers’ memoirs and sometimes I’ll come across the same story told from two different accounts, but for the most part I’m able to tell who wrote which.

What has been bothering you a lot lately? This new and major life change still, obviously. I had a beautiful, grand vision of graduating college with a significant other and building our future together and supporting each other in whatever path we take, so having to dismantle all of that against my will and calling it a ‘bother’ is definitely an understatement.

What (or who) have you been missing lately? Everything pre-September. My life has been going downhill ever since. I do try to make life a little better for myself everyday, but I’d be lying to myself if I say life has been the same.

Are you trustworthy? Yes.

Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? They never taught me this specifically, but I can imagine that my mom is more the type to tell me something like this should the need arise.

Have you ever hallucinated? I don’t think so. The closest thing to hallucinating I experienced was when I was 5. I had a high fever and kept having these awful nightmares, and I could barely tell the difference between being in the nightmare and real life. If I remember correctly, I had already woken up after my grandma shook me but I was still in the nightmare ~AU~ and still kept yelling things that were relevant in my nightmare.

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? OMG, closed all the way. It would bother me to no end if the door was open, to the point that I probably wouldn’t even be able to fall asleep.

What flags do you have in your room, if any? I used to have a Pride flag but that’s gone now cos it was too muddy and dirty anyway.

What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? I can think of more than one, honestly. There’s Gabie, my college life, my college org, and my first job that I’m actually incredibly happy in. Past me just wanted a job that can let me earn on my own, so it’s such a fun bonus to be happy where I am.

What is the worst decision you ever made? Allowing myself to be treated like shit because “this person will change one day, I just have to wait.” Ugh, I really need to start being nicer to myself.

Do you miss college? Yeah but with this COVID thing I’m kinda glad I got out of there just in time. I probably would’ve missed college a lot more if life had remained normal, but with the new norm being online classes and asynchronous learning and never getting to be in campus...I preferably wouldn’t want to take part in these things.

Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? No.

What is your favorite arcade game? I just go for the basketball ones every time. The piano blocks game is also fun, as well as the arcade beer pong.

Do you feel neglected? Yeah. I don’t really have a choice, though. It’s something I’ve had to adjust to.

What school subject(s) are/were your best? For both high school and college, I got my best grades in history classes and electives. I’m one of the rare species who doesn’t have a problem with – and actually enjoys – memorization, lol. I also did well in English lit and biology.

Are you allergic to grass? I don’t believe I’m allergic but in my old school my legs used to get extremely irritated with the grass we have over there and it would itch like a bitch. It definitely could’ve be an allergy, but I only ever got such a reaction in that place and it’s never happened anywhere else.

Do you remember to water plants? My parents like to take care of that chore, so I don’t have to remember to do so.

What season is your birthday in? Uhhhh according to the Western calendar lol, I think it’s spring? We don’t have that here though, and we don’t follow ‘seasons’ in general except for dry and wet.

Name 3 creative people you know. Nina, Berns, Andi.

Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. I don’t really aspire to be like any of them...I watch certain YouTube channels because I find them entertaining, not because I necessarily want to be them. One video creator I watch whose life seems to be so perfect and whose life I certainly wouldn’t complain about if I suddenly had it, though, is Andi Manzano. Heart Evangelista’s a good pick, too.

What color was your first car? It’s white.

What year did you graduate? I graduated high school in 2016 and college in 2020. < Found a twin.

When was the last time you saw the person you currently have feelings for? Early September.

Have you ever been scammed? Hmm, I don’t think so.

Are you allergic to pollen? Nope.

What style of wedding dress do you like best? Something lace, backless to an extent, and preferably body-hugging as I don’t like dresses that would appear too poofy on me. Think Kate Middleton’s wedding dress but just slightly less poof on the bottom part.

Are you over your first love? No.

Do you talk on the phone a lot? I used to. I don’t anymore.

Would you rather call or text? Text, but if I had to explain something or if something had to be explained to me, I don’t mind getting into a call as long as I’m briefed first.

Do you always answer your phone? I never do unless I recognize the number. If it’s an unknown contact, I’m hitting Reject immediately because decent people text first before calling.

When was the last time you went to a party? Late Feb. It was the same party for Hans and his friends’ small business that had hit its first year that I’ve mentioned several times on here, ugh. Haven’t really been to any gatherings since then.

What was the last thing you ate? A chocolate donut from J.Co.

What’s the last book you checked out from the library? It’s a book summarizing the Philippines’ entire history that I wish I had more time to read and appreciate.

Do you have a twitter? Yeah but since the pandemic hit my tweets have been a lot less fun for obvious reasons, so I haven’t been using it a lot.

If so, what was the last thing you tweeted? “the things i do for @Mythical aaaaaahhhhhh 1 AM-9 AM livestream later and I still have work from 9 AM-6 PM tomorrow” then the dizzy emoji copy-pasted six times. SERIOUSLY though, timezones suck and I shake my fist at LA for being 16 hours behind lmaaaao, jk. But Good Mythical Morning has never had an all-day livestream before and they never said anything about archiving it on their channel when it’s over, so I don’t want to miss out. It’s whatevs, I’ll just drink a shitload of coffee tomorrow for work.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? I think it was my mom, but it’s been a while since that call.

What’s the last thing you cooked on the stove? I was making a Monte Cristo but it was to cook the egg mixture that I had coated the sandwich in, not cook the sandwich itself.

What color is the cover of the last notebook you used? Green. It was a freebie from the old PR agency I interned at, so it’s a little funny I’m now using it to take notes at my present agency.

Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Gab’s youngest sister.

Who sent the last e-mail you got? It’s from a workmate, and I just got CC’d so it wasn’t addressed directly to me.

What song is currently stuck in your head? For the whole afternoon it had been Look After You by The Fray, so let’s just go with that.

Do you have a favorite shape? No.

What color are the sheets on your bed? Blue with some yellow and gold prints.

What time do you usually go to bed? 10:30 is a safe bedtime.

Do you ever use coloring books? I’ve got loads of them but they have not been colored since early 2019 because I have yet to invest in a good set of coloring pencils.

Are you planning on watching the Olympics? No, it never appealed to me.

Do you pronounce the word “often” with or without a “t” in the middle? I never pronounce it with the t sound.

Have you ever been on a trapeze? Nope.

Do you enjoy popping bubble wrap? I was more obsessed with it as a kid and will hoard the bubble wrap I see at home. These days I’d still pop a good size of it, but it’s not like my life anymore.

Are there any waterfalls near where you live? There’s one in the city, but I wouldn’t say it’s near. I have to drive to the upper part of the city to get to the waterfalls which would probably take me around a half hour to do.

Do you like seafood? Oh for sure. My life pretty much runs on seafood.

Have you ever had to wear a uniform for anything? I wore a school uniform from kindergarten all the way through to high school.

If so, what did it look like? The blouse was white while the necktie and the skirt were plaid, mostly in red. We also had to wear black leather shoes with white socks.

Do you personally know anyone who is an author? My great-uncle wrote the said library book I checked out. I also had a number of professors who are established authors.

Do you own a Polaroid camera? Nah but I’ve always wanted one. Maybe now’s my chance to finally get my own.

Do you enjoy baking? It looks fun and is definitely something I’d want to try my hand on.

What’s your favorite type of flower? Peonies. < Agreed.

Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? I was headed back to Manila and unbeknownst to us at the time, that arrival would be known for the biggest family argument we have had thus far. I don’t want to go back to that place in my head again, so let’s just move on.

Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Mhm, like Aya.

What is something you think is underrated? Macarons do not get enough love for sure. It’s god-tier dessert.

Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? As soon as it hits 30ºC, I’m complaining.

In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? Thanks to Gabie and the irreparable mess she has since caused, I’m too scared to think of the future now. I never want to predict or hope for things anymore, and I’d rather wing shit from now on and not expect certain things to happen.

How often do you travel outside of the state/province you live in? I live right on the border of two regions so I literally went out of my home city/region every day whenever I had to report to school. I will be doing the same once where allowed to report in the workplace.

What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? Reading.

What has been your favorite job you’ve had so far? I’ve only had one but it’s been a blast so far and I don’t plan on shifting paths because this is where I’ve always planned to be in. That said, I love my job in PR and working with different clients.

What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? Sour cream!

Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? My parents take turns washing it by hand.

Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? Jeju, South Korea.

Farthest south? Bali, Indonesia.

East? Idk...Fukuoka in Japan or some province in the Philippines? I’m not too sure which is east-er, lmao.

West? Malaysia. Would’ve been Thailand if we actually got to go there this year -__- but whatever.

How often do you run the dishwasher? We don’t have one.

Do you wash your face at the sink or in the shower? Eh, either is fine but I do it at the sink a little more often.

Name a stereotype about your gender that you don’t fit. I cannot for the life of me relate to makeup or skincare routines. I also never understood the appeal of Instagram and posing for photos in public and painstakingly editing them for likes.

Name a stereotype about your age that you don’t fit. ^ I think those still fit here, since people my age are into both.

Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? We have masquerade masks on our living room table and I don’t understand why my mom, queen of throwing things out, is not throwing them out. It’s such a random...addition and they don’t go with the vibe of the house at all. But they’ve been hanging out there for so long that my family doesn’t even notice anymore, and much less do they say anything about them.

Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? We have a coffee maker, which is a bit of a unnecessary/luxury purchase where I live; I dunno if it’s the same for other countries. My dad’s a chef so he knows all the tips and hacks to be resourceful in the kitchen, and so he’s never felt the need to buy any other fancy shmancy kitchen stuff like air fryers or waffle irons or sandwich presses.

What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? They both took up hotel and restaurant management, just in different universities.

Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? HAHAHAHA, not at all. People are often surprised when I tell them about what my parents do for living which is understandable, given that journalism and PR are such far cries from the hospitality industry as a whole.

What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? Trig and calc.

How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? ...I’m still learning...

How old were you when you learned how to swim? Around 4 or 5. My parents liked taking us to this water park every weekend when my siblings and I were a lot younger, so I learned how to handle myself in the water from all those trips.

How do you react when someone is rude to you? If it’s someone I know and am close with, I just tell them directly that they’re having a bit of an attitude with me. If it’s anyone else, my reaction depends on my mood: if I’m feeling nice I just simply counter the rudeness with kindness, but sometimes I’ll be just as big of a bitch, just subtle.

Have you ever had a friend who was too clingy? Yes, back in middle school. I feel bad now, because I kind of just ditched her, but at the time I felt like it was my only option. < I remember being like this with someone Gab and I tried to be friends with back in Grade 7. Sofie was also a little clingy, but in a way that I never minded it because I actually enjoyed her company.

What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Typhoons, definitely.

Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? The dry season, because I hate the sun.

Do you have a Netflix account? We have a family bundle and I have my own account on that. But yeah, I don’t pay for it.

Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? We don’t have an attic but there was one time a stray cat got into the house and it took forever to get it back out, lol. It was feisty so we couldn’t just pick it up. The cat also ended up scratching some of our curtains.

Where is your favorite place to go on vacation? Anywhere new, man. My only traveling rule is to not repeat destinations, at least not within 5-7 years. I’m open to exploring any town or city or country I’ve never been to.

How long does it take to get there? -

When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? It was a new chapter last August when I graduated college, but I had to very hurriedly turn the page into a new chapter when I got my internship - that would eventually lead to my first job - and went through a breakup last September.

What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? I rarely go inside my sister’s room, just because there’s never really any reason to be there unless I’m borrowing something from her.

What is the last random act of kindness you did? Gave a small tip to the nice man who helped me get out of my parking spot when I went to the bank yesterday. Loiterers are common in public areas and they’ll usually help out people exiting from their parking, so I usually give whatever I can to help them get by.

Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? My bedroom light is never turned on, but I don’t really do it specifically to reduce my electricity usage. I just don’t like my personal space to be too bright, and it’s just a nice bonus to be able to save on electricity while doing so.

Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? Typically, yes, although I do have certain foods that I have no interest in trying. < Yep. I’m open to absolutely anything but if a meal has something I already don’t like, like fruits or raisins, then I shy away from those.

Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? Not as often as I used to, but I definitely still have soft spots for A Fever, Pretty. Odd., and Vices & Virtues. As for the newer music, I don’t tune in to the albums themselves and listen to the entire tracklists but I wouldn’t skip a P!ATD single if it came on the radio.

Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? I probably have but they’ve all been forgettable.

Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? Not really. I’ll listen to Hayley here and there, but that’s it.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? Yes. This has been the case with my mom for around 6-7 years now. I guess there was just one point in our relationship where she got too mad, I got too traumatized, and it has since kept me from saying it back.

If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? Yeah, especially if I shared something deeply personal and important to me, like a life achievement. Of all social media, people are always most likely to react on Facebook (relatives in particular would like or heart anything I post lmao) so a post that would go completely ignored would be confusing but would also sting.

Which friend do you confide in most? Used to be Gabie but now it’s either Anj or Andi.

Do you wear a cross? No.

What is your opinion on Arby’s? THIS IS SUCH A LONG SURVEY, AAAHHHHHHHH. Anyway, never had it. I have heard Arby’s is one of the rather mid-tier restaurants in the US, like it’s not trash but it’s no In-N-Out...I’d still love to try it though. Aren’t they known for like roast beef sandwiches or something? Those sound delightful.

When you have your own kitchen, how will it be done? I just want it to be idiot-proof because I can get pretty dumb in the kitchen.

What is your favorite doughnut? Chocolate glazed with sprinkles. Will always be a kid at heart when it comes to donuts.

Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? We don’t have one.

Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? I jumped on the bandwagon once the first movie came out, which was still pretty early on in the whole Twilight craze tbh. I started in 2009 when I was able to read all the books and watch New Moon in the cinema, then I proceeded to catch the midnight screenings for all the movies that came after that.

What is your favorite party game? Pinoy Henyo is a big favorite. It’s basically a Filipino version of Heads-Up, just ever so slightly better and more chaotic, which makes it funnier.

Do you or your parents rake your yard? My mom sweeps, not rakes.

Were you pro-Obama? I think ‘pro’ is too strong a stance. I like remaining neutral and cautious when it comes to US presidents especially considering the US’ history of imperialism in and overall relationship with my country but like, I don’t hate Obama. My vote, if I ever was eligible, would still go to him, but of course it’s best to remain wary and critical of his moves.

What is your favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? I don’t really have one. I don’t do much shopping there. < Same.

What was the last illegal thing you did? Probably speeding. My lunch break ends at 1 PM but I was still at the bank by like 12:50 yesterday, so I had to drive like a maniac to get home on time lmao.

Who did you last go to the movies with? Gabie.

What color was the last vehicle you were in? White.

Do you have any family members in the military right now? As far as I know, no.

Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? Nope, no ceiling fans in the house in general.

When was the last time you wished time would move faster? Today. I love my work, but it can get tiring too and I also find myself occasionally wishing the day was over already.

Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? Nopes. But I do remember when owls were a popular hipster design and everyone had like owl necklaces and shit. What a time.

Have you ever heard voices? Like other voices in my head? No.

Do you believe in angels and demons? Nope.

Who is the worst neighbor you have ever had? It wasn’t my neighbors per se but the helpers of my neighbors used to play cheesy 80s and 90s hits obnoxiously loud every morning and it woke me up every time and I didn’t really have a choice but wait for their stupid listening session to end. I’m so glad they since stopped, but it was my own little piece of hell back then.

Did your Barbies go on dates? [continued from last night] I didn’t do much with my Barbies, honestly. I was mostly curious about their production and liked taking off their clothes to see how the toy company dealt with their private areas lmao. I think my sister and I also drew and doodled on a bunch of our dolls.

If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? I didn’t really do any coming out. One day I just acknowledged my attraction towards Gabie with myself, and when I started dating her I just let everyone figure it out for themselves. I’ve never felt like I had an orientation anyway, so I never felt the need to come out.

Where did you meet your first crush? School, back in kindergarten. But we didn’t formally meet until the end of grade school.

Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? Not at all. I remember the people who introduced us, but not our first meeting itself.

Do you ever go places with wet hair? On some days back in college, when there was no traffic going to school I would end up arriving with my hair still kind of wet. This is also the case with Sunday mass (when we could still attend), since we usually headed out as soon as we had taken a shower.

Who is your favorite little girl? I’m a sucker for my friends’ little sisters, like Gabie’s and Athenna’s. I also never got to have a lot of female cousins, so I cherish the few ones I have - Maggie, Bree, and Sam - who are all considerably younger than me.

What do you want the most in life? Contentment. Wherever place I ultimately end up in, I hope to find satisfaction and contentment in it.

What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? Choosing to say ‘fuck it, what do I have to lose’ and send a letter of interest for my present company, who didn’t even have any job openings at the time I sent it out. If I shied away from the lack of openings and never sent out that letter, I never would have been offered an internship, and without taking that internship I never would have been offered a job after a couple of months. So I have to say that’s a pretty fucking solid move of mine.

Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Sigh. I avoid this exact thought all the time because of how sad it’s able to make me.

When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? Yup, it’s just habit.

If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? I’d pick Billie Eilish’s insane ability to hold very soft/quiet notes (ugh, she’s grown on me), Hayley Williams’ range, and Beyoncé’s stamina.

What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Synth pop, indie rock, R&B.

Where did you buy your dishes from? My mom bought our newest set from...probably a department store. Idk, I wasn’t there with her when she got it a few weeks ago.

Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? There’ll be advancements in this lifetime for sure, but we’ve got a long way to go before colonization is even remotely feasible.

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? Maybe all the shit I bought Gabie throughout the six years, most of them I had to skip meals for? Lmao just kidding, I’m not that kind of ex. I got her a lot of useful stuff, like a Hydroflask, and I mean I don’t completely regret buying them. As long as she still uses them and as long as those things still help in making life easier for her, then the purchases are still worth it.

What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? My cross stitch kit that I thought I was never going to learn. I am now realizing how fun it is and will probably buy a shit ton of kits for myself once Christmas season is over.

Have you ever been on a ship? Yes. My dad gave me a cruise trip for my 18th birthday, and it ended up being really fun :)

Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? Yeah, I go on detoxes 1-2 times a year where I deactivate all my accounts and am only reachable through text. It usually happens every Christmas season, but sometimes I’ll go through a particularly low point where I’d feel the need to go on a social media break.

Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? I don’t listen to Van Halen.

Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? Any character from BoJack Horseman. What’s a class you did not take in school, but now wish you had? I wasn’t required to take foreign language electives in college like other courses, so I really wish I got to take them :( I can’t imagine how fun it would’ve been to go to class for the sole purpose of learning Spanish or Korean or Italian. Also, even though I took like 5-6 history electives, I still wish I had the chance to take all the other history offerings.

Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces? I have been in the general vicinity of both – my mom works in a hotel and we’ve booked rooms there several times, while my cruise took place in the liner my dad works in. But I’ve only ever been to my dad’s workplace, when he took some time out of his day to show me his kitchen and let me have some of the escargot before they went out to guests :)

What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy? I quickly looked it up and I don’t disagree with its thesis.

Have you ever been bitten so hard that their teeth marks were there after? I used to be like this with Gab, but with me...hmm, my mom liked biting us as kids, and sometimes she’d go pretty hard, yeah. It was never out of anger, of course.

Ever been given a hickey? (Love bite) Yes.

Ever gave one? Anddddd yes.

Are you more of an outgoing type or shy type? Shy if a situation is overall unfamiliar, but I can be outgoing once I start to warm up.

Do you think it’s weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? Nope.

Are you self conscious? If so what are you self conscious about? Having been unceremoniously dumped, I’m self-conscious about a million things rn. It’ll take a while for things to be back on track again, self-esteem-wise.

Are you flirty at all? No.

Are you racist at all? I don’t particularly like the Chinese because of the way they treat Filipinos and how most of them behave in my country, like that one asshat who was caught shitting in a local tourist spot here. It gets too tiring to keep on forgiving them at some point.

Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) I don’t see a reason why I wouldn’t.

If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? If they were distressed, I’d take them to the nearest security guard and ask for help in looking for their parents. I honestly have no clue how I’d deal with a kid who was otherwise bubbly and doing okay by themselves because I might just look like a kidnapper if I went near them lol.

Would you rather adopt or have your own child? Have my own.

What would you class as cheating on someone? If you’re doing something that requires you to be too close with another person to the point that you have to acknowledge that your partner is not aware of what you’re up to/they don’t have to know what you’re up to. Once that acknowledgment is out of the bag, it’s cheating for me.

Do you try to be politically correct? Yeah.

What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? Dolphins.

Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? I don’t think so.

As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? Hoops for days.

Do you find P.E. humiliating, or think schools shouldn’t teach it? I think it’s vital to have PE in an education system that requires students to be mostly on their butts. A lot of people hate getting physical and active, and that’s exactly the reason why PE should be around.

Do you recycle? I try to, whenever I can.

Are you interested in current world issues? Yep yep, very.

Do you think you are mature, or immature? I can definitely be petty at times, but I think I mostly act maturely and that those who know me can back me up on it.

What kind of career are you interested in? Public relations, which is under the umbrella of media and communications. I like not being tied to one product, and it’s always awesome to see campaigns that I help with for various big brands come to life.

Do you own a pair of sunglasses? Nah. I was never into them.

Do you use bobby pins, hair clips, or elastic hair ties? Which? I use a hair tie on a daily basis and bobby pins for formal events where I need my hair to be pristinely neat. I nevr use hair clips.

How badly do you get acne? (If at all) Oh god. I got two pimples in between my eyes right now, and it’s the first time I’ve gotten acne since...a year and a half, maybe? My acne isn’t bad at all and it’s never been an issue, so I always panic on the extremely rare occasions I see one or two pop up on my face.

What’s the best way to cope with a breakup? I should be the one asking that! Tips are always welcome, you guys.

If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? I probably came off as aloof, which is a fairly common observation.

How many text messages do you have in your inbox at the moment? I don’t delete messages and my phone doesn’t provide me with the total, so suffice it to say there are probably thousands of texts currently in my phone.

When was the last time you had a difficult decision to make? I’m still deciding if I want to keep Gabie around. She honestly doesn’t deserve it, but she’s also my best friend in the world, so idk.

In school, what subjects do/did you find the most difficult? Chemistry, trigonometry, calculus. Physics was hard in high school but became easier in college, and I believe it boils down to the teachers who taught them.

Do you still speak to the person you had your first kiss with? Yes.

Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? I haven’t done that in a while.

Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? I think it was one of my cousins, Maggie. I don’t remember. But it was probably her.

Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? Maybe Andi? I haven’t had anyone ask me that for a while now.

What does your handwriting look like? I’m the go-to person whenever neat handwriting is needed on a document or something, so I guess that must mean my handwriting is decent. The biggest comment that I get, though, is that my letters are too tiny hahaha.

Do you use any products on your hair, other than shampoo and conditioner? Sometimes I’ll use hair gel for important events because I have the most annoying baby hairs, but otherwise those two are pretty much all I use.

Who were your best friends in primary school? Angela, Pia, Tammy, Marielle, Pam, Gaille, Nina.

Do you still speak to any of them? I only ever actively speak with Angela; she’s still my best friend. Pia and I are mutuals on social media and we’ll sometimes keep the other up to speed with the latest gossip lolol, but I wouldn’t call her my best friend. I lost contact with Tammy, Nina, and Pam after high school, and Gaille when she migrated. I cut Marielle out of my life after she did something shitty that broke my trust.

What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? A bottle of water, I think.

What color hair did your first crush have? Black.

What type of shoes do you find the most comfortable? Sneakersssssss.

Are you more masculine or feminine? More feminine, definitely.

If you could design your own mug, what would you put on it? I don’t know how to...design things on my own lol, but I’d love a Friends-themed mug, or maybe even a GMM-themed one :)

What is the best beach you’ve been to? Palawan felt almost unreal with how breathtaking it was. I really felt at peace there.

What is one thing you physically can’t do? Lift a water container.

Have you ever been to a funeral? Not a funeral, but I’ve been to several wakes.

Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? I don’t think we have those.

Have you ever visited your nation’s capitol building? Again, we don’t have those.

Do/did you have a favorite seat in church? My mom, in what really shouldn’t come as a shock, has always liked for us to be in the front row. I’m SO glad we don’t have to physically attend mass anymore; I always felt like I was being burned alive whenever I entered a church lol

What is your favorite park? I wish I had an answer for this but we don’t have any public parks because Philippines.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? Yeah, it happens prrrrretty often, at least once every few months. There was one just last week.

Do you chew gum regularly? Nah but this did made me think of JM, who always had a pack of gum with him without fail everyday.

Where did you go on your first train ride? It was headed to Manila, but my destination was Pasay.

Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? It’s possible. I went to high school with people who were half-German and half-Swiss, and I’m guessing they held dual citizenships.

What sports teams do you root for, if any? (Extra points for Boston fans.) I don’t really root for any other than my college’s team.

Do you dunk your cookies in milk? If there’s milk around, sure.

What is something you are confident about? I don’t know. I haven’t felt that at all lately.

Have you ever been physically addicted to a substance? What? Nope.

How do you feel about needles? Can’t do shots, blood tests, and IV without freaking out and/or feeling faint. But I can handle sewing needles apparently, judging from how I was able to do cross-stitching last week. As for tattoos, still unsure if I can handle getting one even though I already have a couple of designs in mind.

What is your favorite accent to listen to? That British accent that sounds super posh lol, the one Florence Pugh and Hugh Grant have. Idk what it’s called.

What was the reason you last got dressed up? Job interview.

Have you ever been the subject of cruel rumors? I was the subject of a rumor once, but I didn’t and don’t find it cruel. It was a typical middle school rumor.

^ What were they? That I was dating my friend Andi and was bisexual. The one with Andi I can kind of understand, since I did have a bit of a crush on her then; I just didn’t know I was bad at hiding it. But for people to go as far as telling others I was bisexual was a little surprising.

Do you prefer loose or form-fitting clothing? Form-fitting. I never liked loose clothing on me.

^ What about on your preferred gender? I don’t have a preferred gender, and I think it really depends per person.

What do you do when you are really, really mad? I isolate myself so that I don’t have to explode on anyone.

Would you rather go naked than wear fur? Is it real fur? I’d go naked.

Do you put a line through your 7’s? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

^ What about your Z’s? ^ Same answer. I like keeping things different, hahaha.

What is one thing that someone could do to you that is unforgivable? Break my self-esteem. Constructive criticism is fine, of course, but it’ll be very hard to forgive people who make it their lives to point out my flaws or carelessly hurl hurtful words/insults at me, aka my mom. I’ve never forgiven her about it and it’s the main reason why I’ve since been unable to say “I love you” back whenever she says it.

Are you able to forgive and forget? No. That’s not my preferred route; I’ve always been the grudge-y kind of person.

Do you like cold pizza? Yesssssss. I don’t have a preference between hot or cold, but I have never complained about cold pizza for sure. I ate a slice of pizza right out of the fridge just yesterday.

What is your favorite fruit? Eh.

What about your favorite fruit juice, if it differs from solid fruit? I don’t really have one. I guess orange, as long as it’s not too sour - so basically not pure orange juice lol.

Do you like broccoli and cheese? Haven’t tried it but the pairing sounds *chef’s kiss*

What about potatoes and cheese? Yum.

Have you written a letter by hand, lately? To whom? Not lately, but I plan to.

Toaster or toaster oven? Toaster oven, since we’ve actually had that. We’ve never needed a toaster.

What are you most known for? It depends on who you’re talking to, I’d say. I think different people know me by different things.

Do you have any reputations? What are they? I’m never comfortable claiming things like this, because there’s always the possibility that who I think I am to other people might be far from the truth. Overall, I just try to be myself and still remain nice to everyone while doing so so that I don’t develop a strong reputation for anything.

Do you wear band shirts? Not really.

^ What band was on the last one you wore? I don’t wear them.

Do you own any hats? Describe them. I have a white sunhat that I never got to wear because I’ve always found it too big and flashy and I never wanna draw attention to myself when outside, which it definitely would’ve done for me.

What about masks, you got any? Describe those. I just wear the basic blue surgical face masks.

What was the last thing to leave you speechless? Hearing the amount of money GMM raised for their livestream earlier today, and basically seeing just how insanely successful the livestream in general was.

Do your parents like your friends? If they don’t, why not? My parents never got to know my college friends so they don’t have an opinion on them; they’re still pretty attached to my group in high school hahaha so like Gab, Angela, Athenna, Chelsea, etc, who they all still love and occasionally ask about.

Have you been called a bad influence? Idk, maybe, out of earshot.

Describe your favorite pair of socks. I don’t have any.

Have you experienced any life-changing news, events, etc, lately? First real job and the breakup of a long-term relationship that I had initially finally stopped having doubts about.

Have any self-done piercings? OMG I can finally see the end of this survey holy shit. It took me two damn days, ughhhhhh. Anyway, hell no. I’d injure myself so badly.

Ever pierced someone else? Most definitely not.

Do you get distracted easily? It depends on how much I actually care about whatever it is I’m doing. < Agree. My focus is unpredictable.

Is talking to strangers enjoyable for you, or stressful? Stressful. No matter how pleasant they or the conversation turns out to be, I’m always more stressed than anything else and I let out a sigh of relief as soon as it’s over.

How do you feel about getting new neighbors? It’d be super refreshing, considering the houses on our left and right were literally just built, but never actually inhabited.

How many ceiling fans are in your home? We don’t have any. Do you tweet your life away? Not anymore. I used to tweet my entire life back in high school, but when I realized literally none of my classmates were the same and that I looked so lonely doing it, I made an effort to lessen the tweets and eventually the new habit caught on.

How do you feel about shameless self promoting? I don’t think much of it.

When reading words. like. this. do. you always pause after the periods? Haha, yeah.

What about screaming when reading something IN ALL CAPS? Not always. Soooo many people like typing in all caps anyway, so this has been more normalized to me lately.

#surveys #survey #fucking finally

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kenkamishiro · 5 years

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zakki:re translations, Part 3, Vol. 6-9

In which Ishida passive-aggressively-albeit-jokingly rags on Goubaru-kun and reflects on his artistic choices.

The zakki:re and interview translations take a lot of time and effort, so if you enjoyed it please leave a like or reblog. Thank you!

If you would like to start from the beginning, please click here.

Associate Special Class. A protagonist whose hair changes colours a lot.

Weekly Young Jump 2016, Issue no. 4~5, Opening colour page

The cover of :re volume 6. Furuta and an apple. Regarding its contents, this volume was a turning point that slightly changed the course of the story up to volume 5 of :re. Shirazu died in the line of duty, and Haise was dyed in black… I drew the story about a staff member (Goubaru-kun), which was unusual content for a volume omake. During my serialization, I went from Fukuoka to Tokyo every year for the Shueisha New Year’s party. On the first day of the party I’d talk to the other authors, and on the second day it became a tradition to hang out with the staff members. I was looking forward to it as one of the biggest events of the year since I didn’t have much opportunity to play while writing my series, but because of Goubaru-kun...I mean, thanks to him, it ended up becoming a field trip to the hospital for half a day. So as revenge...I mean as gratitude, I drew about it in the manga in the form of an omake. My series has come to an end, but because Goubaru-kun was next to me...I mean, thanks to him, it also became an event where I got to witness my true character. It was his fault that I really learned a lot about myself. Thank you.

2016, Volume 6, Cover

[T/N: You can read said omake here.]

The cover of :re volume 7. Kaneki, to match with volume 7 of OG. The theme of this cover was, “Can I beat the strength of the OG volume 7’s art?” I drew this side-by-side with OG volume 7 Kaneki. When I look at it now, it’s lacking a certain kind of impact even though my drawing skills had improved a lot back then. At the time, I was heavily relying on the anatomy portion of my drawing skills, which was why I may have gone astray in various ways regarding the art’s intentions. In OG volume 7, I wasn’t led astray due to ignorance, but rather because I felt so energetic (and therefore also fragile). For :re volume 7, I get the impression that I was thinking about that in my head. It somehow gives off an air of trying to distract people with anatomy. Nevertheless, regarding the quality of the cover art I feel like I drew it to the best of my abilities in those days. I think it’d be interesting to look back at my other drawings and think about my mental state and the theme of the drawing for each one.

2016, Volume 7, Cover

Kaneki going for a walk #1 Named as “Kaneki going for a walk series” by Chika-neesan of L.S.D. who was asked to do the design for zakki:re. I’ll explain why in #2.

Movie adaptation - major decision It’d be better to call it a “major decision” rather than just a “decision”. The movie had all kinds of stuff too.

Weekly Young Jump 2016, Issue no. 30, Opening colour page

Uh, what was this for again? I know it was a cover for a YJ issue. Maybe I drew this illustration after I finished :re volume 7’s cover art? That one [volume 7 cover] took up too much of my strength, and this one [current illustration] makes me feel like I’m out of breath.

Weekly Young Jump 2016, Issue no. 30, Cover

[T/N: It was for the July 30, 2016 issue of Miracle Jump. Came with 4 other illustrations of Kaneki, including an alternate version of the illustration above, and the “Kaneki going for a walk #1″ illustration.]

The blurb sounds very cool. I also like the placement design.

Weekly Young Jump 2016, Issue no. 32, Centre colour illustration

[T/N: Blurb says, “I’ve only severed off one side of the scenery.]

I also like this design. Illustration-wise, this volume is of course, about Mucchan and Torso. I thought from the start that Torso would meet his end by becoming a torso (literally). I feel like my work doesn’t have many characters that smell of gender, but I can sense it from Mucchan, or rather I think it’s coiled around her. During my serialization, I always got the impression that she was very different from the other characters. I don’t really understand her well.

Weekly Young Jump 2016, Issue no. 42, Opening colour page

[T/N: Ishida refers to Mutsuki as 彼女 (kanojo = she/her) so I will refer to her as such unless he states otherwise.]

Volume 8 of :re. I like how this Arima looks. It feels like the art in this volume was also right at the height of my anatomy phase, and it feels like very crisp. But gradually you begin thinking about something different. In the wrong direction.

2016, Volume 8, Cover

My thoughts about the colour spread I splashed on bold colours for the spread, I wonder if it was because I didn’t have time or something, I remember I was saved by L.S.D.’s design. I was bombarded by the obsessive idea of, “Do I always have to draw so much?” Because Jump authors’ colour spreads always have lots of characters on them, their colouring is meticulous, and they look splendid. In contrast to that, my spread gives off the feeling that I didn’t have time or any motivation. It’s not that I’m not motivated, it might just be that I’m not good at drawing a lot of characters at once. Sometimes I end up wondering if the concept of “One character only!” might be more powerful.

Weekly Young Jump 2016, Issue no. 50, Opening colour page

100 stickers The illustration of the stickers from the appendix of YJ magazine. There are a hundred of them. I wondered about how much the price of a sticker would cost, so I went to Incube (a general store) in Tenjin, Fukuoka, and bought a pack of clover stickers (30-40 pieces) and one gorilla sticker (why). Both cost around 300 yen, about the same price as Young Jump, so I thought, “Wouldn’t it be a good deal if reading a manga also came with stickers!?” Such a good deal. It was nice seeing readers use them to stick on top of a letter every once in a while.

Weekly Young Jump 2016, Issue no. 50, Special appendix

[T/N: Tenjin is the downtown area of Fukuoka. Also, these stickers were released with the YJ issue to celebrate the 100th chapter of :re. Ishida made comments about each one of the stickers in volume 9, if you want to read them go here and here.]

Cover of :re volume 9.

Transitioning from from full digital to half-digital From this point on, the idea of "How can I finish my manuscript quickly?" greatly occupied my mind. I think it was around this time that work for another series (the game) came in. If I remember correctly. I had been drawing fully digital this entire time, but for this volume I experimented by interweaving digital with analog. We live in an era crazy about speed. However, because I couldn't control the screen anymore, I had a rough time drawing this volume. I used a G pen to draw the characters. The line drawings were uploaded with the scanner, and I finished the final touches digitally. Since it doesn't take a lot of time to write the storyboard, during this period I could finish the manuscript in 2.5 days, and set aside 4 days for other work. Thinking about the manga now, it would've been better if I'd spent my extra time focusing on it, but back then I thought doing this would be the best. This volume is the only volume where the characters were entirely drawn in analog. Since then, it has changed to drawing in analog for quick things, and for things that need to be drawn with more skill, drawing it first in analog before going to digital.

2016, Volume 9, Cover

The Last Things There are a lot of arms entwined around Kaneki, such as Eto and Dragon Kaneki's arms.

2016, Volume 9, Cover sleeve

[T/N: The illustration above isn’t the full version, but the only one I could find. It was also used as the cover art for österreich’s song uploaded on SoundCloud, titled “Saigo no koto” or “The Last Things”.]

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#Tokyo Ghoul #zakki:re #Ishida Sui #Translations #my translations #zr translations #his comment about vol 9 surprised me the most

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ledenews · 4 years

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Sam Amico - Finally on Top, Writing What He Loves

Sam Amico is a self-professed basketball junkie whose lengthy career in sports journalism now finds the Akron, Ohio native covering the NBA for Sports Illustrated. Yes, that Sports Illustrated. The one most young men and woman growing up in the 1980s and 1990s waited patiently by the mailbox for, only to quickly tear threw the pages and digest the stories within. While magazines and subscriptions aren’t what they used to be, SI is still one of the biggest players in the sports media game, especially for those gifted with the ability to tell a tale via the written word and not relying solely on hot takes and video footage. It’s fitting, as Amico grew up near an NBA city during a time when the Showtime Lakers and the Boston Celtics dominated the scene. There was Larry and Magic, Kareem and Robert. The Bad Boys in Detroit came into their own and a man named Michael took the league, and the world, by storm. The young Amico didn’t have a chance.

Played the Game

He grew into a 5-foot-9 sweet-shooting guard at nearby Cuyahoga Valley Christian Academy in nearby Cuyahoga Falls. He parlayed that success into a two-year stint playing for Northeastern Christian Academy across the street from Villanova in Pennsylvania. While there, he set the school record for most 3-pointers in a game, a mark he’s quick to point out lasted all of there seasons. The school later combined with Ohio Valley College in Parkersburg, W.Va. to become Ohio Valley University. Amico’s old coach, Bill McGee, stayed on board to coach. Amico, meanwhile, turned his attention to his own career. Originally wanting to get into coaching, he quickly realized that he could utilize his best assets, a great sense of humor and even better gift of written gab and combine that with his love of basketball. He quickly said hello to the world of journalism which initially took him out west to Wyoming and a one-man show at a paper in Rawlins, Utah.

The Report

He still feels his proudest moment came two years later, when he wrote a 14-part series on the history of the Wyoming state basketball tournament while working at a paper in Casper. Additional stops including the Bluefield Daily Telegraph, Observer-Reporter in Washington, among others, eventually landed Amico at the Sports Editor at The Intelligencer in Wheeling. Amico experienced success with both the readers and staff. It’s here he began his well-circulated Amico Report, a free newsletter at the time dealing with all things NBA. It was that digital newsletter that eventually catapulted Amico to his current path. He's also a published author, with his first book, "A Basketball Summer" hitting the shelves in 2002, later followed by three more: "Dribbles of Champions," "The Ultimate Basketball Trivia Book," and 'Three-Ball: The History of Basketball's Three Point Shot." He later lost his job in Wheeling due to an incident he takes full responsibility for and worked his way back north to the Cleveland Area, eventually catching on with Fox Sports and Fox Sports Ohio. It was there Amico experienced a renewal not only in his professional life, but also his personal one. Lessons were learned, but Amico found happiness again with a second marriage, as and his new wife brought together their blended family and eventually added a third son to the mix soon after. The Amicos now live in Medina, Ohio. Naturally, basketball is still a big part of their lives.

What got you into sports journalism in the first place? You did seem to gravitate to basketball more so than other sports. Was that just an extension of your playing days and your love for basketball as a whole?

It was indeed my love of basketball that led to my career choice. I never set out to become a writer. At first, I wanted to be a coach. I envisioned myself coaching high school basketball while teaching health or typing or some other fairly mundane course. But I also loved to write. I did it in my free time, just as a hobby. My best friend is several years older and became a sports television anchor, and I'd sometimes tag along with him to work. I was fascinated that you could make a career out of this. I loved basketball and writing always came easiest for me in terms of schoolwork. My roommate in college would stay up all night sweating over his essay for English class and bring back a C-minus. I'd crank something out in an hour, maybe less, and always aced it. (As an aside, he got considerably better grades in every other subject.) So, about my junior year of college, it finally dawned on me—why not put together my passion for basketball with the one thing I seemed to do moderately well? When I figured it out, writing about basketball as a career became my mission.

A billboard advertising the Amico Report for Fox Sports, a report that started as a free newsletter Sam Amico sent out during his days at The Intelligencer in Wheeling.

You eventually became an editor at multiple places. But neither was in a basketball-heavy community in terms of the pro game. Did you have a sense deep down that you’d need to get closer to home, or to a major market, to get to where you wanted to be? Was leaving the Wheeling paper a blessing in disguise in that respect?

To be honest, when I took my first newspaper job in a tiny little Wyoming town, I had no clue what I was doing. I showed up for the first day of work and was immediately told to interview the high school swimming coach. I didn't know anything about swimming, had no idea what to ask. I could barely swim myself. That was the start of a long journey of covering things I had very little knowledge of. In Rawlins, I was a one-man staff. I shot my own photos, wrote 3-5 stories a day, designed my own pages, came up with all the headlines and at times, even helped deliver the paper. Little did I know, it would be great practice for running my own website close to 20 years later. But all the while, yes, I dreamed of getting to an NBA market to cover the NBA. I wasn't obsessed with it, but it was always in the back of my mind, pushing me to work harder and get better. I never had a sense that it would actually happen. My goal once I started writing a lot was to just to do the best job I could and let the chips fall where they may. Eventually, when I landed in Wheeling, I decided to start an NBA email newsletter as a hobby on the side. Writing an email cost nothing and receiving it cost nothing. So, I made nothing. But if I remember correctly, we eventually started running it in the sports section, too. That little newsletter is the very reason I am where I am today, in my 12th year covering the NBA on a full-time basis. I will always be grateful for my time in Wheeling and I look back fondly on it today. Ownership, management, the editors and my co-workers allowed me the freedom to write what I wanted and tackle some interesting topics. It was there that I developed a strong work ethic, and it is one I still try to carry into my assignments today. I learned in Wheeling that there was no place for excuses—just do the job. When I lost my job there, deservedly so, it reminded me about the value of integrity. It was an important reminder and lesson I have not forgotten.

You’d previously written “Basketball Summer” and also kept people up to date with League knowledge via the Amico Report. But once covering the NBA was your full-time job, what was it like being that involved, especially given the Cavaliers were your hometown team? As a journalist, you remain impartial, but growing up a fan, was it difficult to keep the two sides of you separate at first?

Actually, while I grew up outside of Akron, I liked the Cavaliers but never considered myself a huge fan by any stretch. Sadly, I lived and died with the Browns, a lost cause of a franchise that remains near and dear to my heart today. I just happened to like the NBA as a total product, growing up in what I still consider the golden era of Magic, Michael and Larry. By the time I finally became a full-time NBA writer covering my "hometown" team, I had learned how to be impartial. That's one of about 200 reasons why it was a good thing I didn't get the job straight out of college. I had so much to learn about journalism. I had to spend time in the minors before getting to the big leagues. But I also realize that I am sort of an extension of the fans. I didn't celebrate in print when the Cavs won the title in 2016, for instance, but I did write with more enthusiasm and the stories were just more positive by nature. It's always easier to write about a winner. Quite honestly, though, it makes no difference to me. I try to cover the Cavs and NBA with as much fairness and passion as I did when I first got the job. The success and failures of the local team honestly have no bearing on how I approach the job, or even my enjoyment of the job. Sometimes, it's even better when they're bad. When LeBron James is in town, so are about 100 other reporters. When he's not, I'm generally one of about five or six full-time people covering the team.

Sami Amico sits courtside in Cleveland, offering analysis during a Cavaliers game. While still doing some on-air work, his TV time has lessened some since makine the move from FSN to Sports Illustrated.

You wrote for both Fox Sports and Fox Sports Ohio, and on occasion got to do some on-air analysis and interviews. How did that differ from what you were used to and did your public profile blow up further from that? What was the experience like for your sons and wife to see dad on television, talking basketball? Could you foresee a career path that leads to commentary either courtside or in-studio on a full-time basis?

I've been doing television since 2010, less now than most years, but still some. It's quite a bit different because unlike writing, you don't have time to sit down and assemble a thought. The lights come on and you just ... GO. You also don't have a delete key, so whatever you say is out there for forever, especially now in the day of social media. The first time I did it, I was terrified. The second time, I was also terrified. The third time, I didn't even think about it. It just felt natural. My best buddy in TV gave me some good advice: "Look two places, either at the person you're talking to or at the camera. Sit up. Smile. And for the love of Pete, put your hands on the desk and not below it." That was a start. I have also done some stand-up reporting for TV, in which I look at nothing but the camera, hold the mic with one hand and still have no idea what to do with the other. As for my public profile, yes, it did go up a notch locally. The biggest differences I noticed were that total strangers occasionally began asking me for selfies at Cavs games (as opposed to just yelling that I'm a hack), and mostly, the players and coaches and front-office types began calling me by my first name before I had even introduced myself. Earned or not, there's a level respect that you're granted with simply being on TV. That said, it's always been my least favorite part of the job. You have to worry about your hair, about your tie, about how you dress and about not doing natural things like sneezing or yawning. But they ask me to do it and promise a check, so I shut up and make the best of it. It's never been what I set out to do, though. My family thought it was cool at first, but those days are long gone. Unless I take them to the studio, they don't watch. Sometimes even then I'll look over at them during a commercial break and they're staring at their phones. The good news is I have a toddler who is fairly animated when I come on the screen. I figure I have another three or four years before he too finds that part of my job to be old news.

The Amico family, prior to the birth of the third son, is an image of a blended family that can find success in coming together.

Finally, like most kids into sports, you probably grew up reading Sports Illustrated. It was the go-to for sports reporting and feature stories. Working for them now, does the image you might have had in your head match the reality and how has the Amico Report morphed into Amico News in terms of content and readership?

Well, let's put it this way -- when I call a potential source for a story and say I'm from Sports Illustrated, they almost always give me a lot of time, say more interesting things, and are overall just more polite. Between the time I worked for FOX and SI, I launched my own NBA website. Fortunately, my time at FOX provided an audience, and enough of those readers followed me to AmicoHoops to turn it into a full-time job. I actually started to earn more on the website than I did at FOX. Problem was, when you factor in TV work, I was putting in 12-14 hours a day on the website during the season, and that included weekends. It's always nice to run your own thing and be your own boss. I did it for four years with a surprising degree of success. But Sports Illustrated made the decision easy for me. They basically wanted me to move what I had been doing on my site and put their brand behind it. I can also say I have never had more readers. That's not because of anything I'm doing or because I've suddenly reinvented the wheel. It's because everyone knows the name "Sports Illustrated." Overall, I really like their modern direction. They have moved away from the longform pieces (though plenty still remain in the magazine), and have assigned or are in the process off assigning a writer to every team in the country -- NFL, NBA, MLB, the NCAA power conference programs, and even NHL I believe. Readership has increased significantly for SI across all platforms. Not long ago, I started to suspect the brand was dying, but it feels like it's become a player again. My role is actually to cover the entire NBA, while also focusing on the Cavs, much like I did for FOX before they pivoted to video-only in 2015. It's a great role and one I've been comfortable in for at least a decade now. Mostly, I feel very blessed to be where I am in my career and am extremely grateful for each step along the way -- from Wyoming to West Virginia to back where I grew up. Read the full article

#Basketball #NBA #SportsIllustrated #UpperOhioValley #wheeling

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ryanmeft · 5 years

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Movie Review: Richard Jewell

Clint Eastwood often infuses his modern films with a strong sense of justice that rarely applies to all the people in them. He feels strongly for the plights of some characters, while others are fodder for the statement he wants to make. That’s never been more true than in Richard Jewell, in which the title character and his friends and family are seen as largely sympathetic, while anyone involved in journalism or law enforcement is a one-note villain. It’s a well-constructed, engaging film about an ordinary hero, but it would have been better were Eastwood able to see the world in shades of gray.

That’s ironic coming from the filmmaker who did complex, multi-faceted stories so well in movies like Million-Dollar Baby and the dual punch of Flags of Our Fathers and Letters From Iwo Jima, but the time when we could expect such daring out of Eastwood seems past. His recent films---Sully, The 15:17 to Paris, The Mule-have all been about the lives of steadfast white men braving a changing world, and this latest is no exception. Jewell, played with perfect understated ordinariness by Paul Walter Hauser, is that guy who probably had the hardest of times in High School. He’s not just morbidly obese; you can get away with that. He’s also nice and helpful to a fault, something the world is far less forgiving of. He brings Snickers for hard-bitten, hard-working small business lawyer Watson Bryant (Sam Rockwell) because he noticed the wrappers in his trash, always defers to authority, and loves his doting mother (Kathy Bates). The perfect scene that sets up who he is takes place when he is brought before his current boss at a university (Charles Green) and told he is too harsh with the students. At first, when he reads back the President’s own words condoning harsh treatment to him, we think he is threatening the other man, because we’ve been conditioned to think that way. Not so; he really is just a meticulous, detail-oriented person who takes what other people tell him at face value. He finds it very hard to get on in a world where half-truths and outright lies run things.

Accordingly, when he finds a suspicious package planted under a park bench while working security at the 1996 Olympics, he responds by following procedure and asking to call in the experts. Other cops give him crap, but if I may speak directly for a moment, I think I’d rather be embarrassed than dismembered. That is how Richard thinks, too, and of course the bomb is a real bomb. This scene is emblematic of where Eastwood’s skills as a director shine. He recreates the events as faithfully as possible (according to Jewell’s own account), adding no drama, yet extracting every ounce that is already there, so that by the time the bomb goes off, the tension is already in our chests.

The aftermath of the bombing is more mixed. Richard is hailed as a hero, and here Eastwood executes both a subtle masterstroke and a deliberate shot to his film’s foot. The masterstroke is in portraying Jewell as he actually was. He is offered interviews as well as a book deal, and he takes them because, after all, money is money. He genuinely believes he was just doing his job, but there’s no denying he likes not being the goat for once in his life. And when he becomes, for a time, the prime suspect in the FBI investigation, he both makes repeated mistakes and exposes personal failings. Eastwood may have a habit of lionizing heroic white men, but at least here he does not do so in a vacuum. Jewell is obsessed with guns, fearful of homosexuality, unable to do anything he’s told by the lawyer (a search of his house becomes both exasperating and hilarious because of this) and prone to fits of anger that break down his normally calm veneer. All of this is essential. Hauser is not portraying a typical Hollywood hero, and the key to the film is that he behave, well, like any of us would. Also essential is Bates as Bobi Jewell, who knows her son is a hero and whose primary concern is that the FBI takes all of her tupperware.

If only Eastwood had applied as much fairness and passion to the portrayals of Kathy Scruggs and the FBI agents. The former, the journalist for the Atlanta-Journal Constitution who originally broke the story that the FBI was looking into Jewell, is portrayed as a callous, self-absorbed witch (there’s no other word for it) with zero scruples, who sleeps with FBI agents to get her story, insults everyone she meets, and laughingly rides Richard’s pain to fame. I will choose not to criticize Olivia Wilde for this; she took a role, a role someone else would have taken if she had not, and did as Billy Ray’s screenplay and Eastwood’s directorial whims told her to do. What I will take issue with is Eastwood’s savage portrayal of journalism in general at a time when it is under undue attack from the President and his supporters, and of Scruggs herself, who by all accounts was more complex and did not get her stories by sleeping around. She and Jewell both died young, of causes likely exacerbated by stress from the case, and Eastwood cares a lot about the defaming of Jewell while himself defaming Scruggs. This is not just a personal stance on my part; the one-note characterization of Scruggs is annoying and detracts from the film, which is of course based on another article written by another of the journalists, Marie Brenner, that Eastwood so disdains. The director seems blissfully unaware of the irony, and his determination to have a misogynistic, insulting portrayal of Scruggs as a villain is the film’s biggest creative hole, nearly derailing it. FBI agent Tom Shaw (Jon Hamm), a composite character, fares a little better, as he’s shown to actually care about the victims of the bombing, but he’s still also seen as insulting and dismissive for no reason other than a villain is easier for the audience to understand than a person doing their job.

These are serious hits to the film, and I feel I should give credit to Hauser, Bates and Rockwell for turning in pitch-perfect work that rights the ship. They are compelling people, ones whose every outburst feels real and whose personalities work off of each other to keep us riveted and caring. Yet a film about the true complexities of everything that happened, one that opted for people who felt real and lived from all sides, would have been braver, and more compelling

Verdict: Recommended

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

You can follow Ryan's reviews on Facebook here:

https://www.facebook.com/ryanmeftmovies/

Or his tweets here:

https://twitter.com/RyanmEft

All images are property of the people what own the movie.

#Clint Eastwood #sam rockwell #olivia wilde #jon hamm #movies #richard jewell #kathy bates #paul walter hauser

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themagiciansreccenter · 6 years

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Author Spotlight: @quellthefire

Every week we interview a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

I’m a 26 year old queer woman who probably obsesses over fandoms more than is healthy. I went to school to study bones and infectious diseases, but ended up working as a barista and really love it most days. At some point I hope to go to mortuary school. I’m hopelessly obsessed with Marvel as well, and have been writing a lot of Steve/Tony fic lately, in addition to my usual Queliot.

How long have you been writing for?

I started writing fanfic about 12 years ago, but only recently got back into it after a years-long hiatus.

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

I was so captivated by the friendship and sexual relationship between Quentin and Eliot in Season 1. At the time I never imagined the writers would develop it to the extent they have, so writing fanfic seemed like the only way to explore that relationship in the way I wanted to.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

I absolutely love writing Eliot. He’s my go-to point of view. There’s such an opportunity to explore feelings of lust and inadequacy, and I love writing about Eliot being awed that Quentin wants him. I also love writing banter between El and Margo. It gives me a chance to be snarky and crude and write lines of dialogue that make me laugh. And recently, I’ve been trying to challenge myself to write from Quentin’s perspective more, because I really love his awkward/excited stream of consciousness style of talking.

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

I tend to veer towards a non-defined point in the middle of season 1. I absolutely love writers who dig deep into show plot points, but I always end up writing scenes where the point in time doesn’t matter nearly as much as the conversation and emotions that are happening.

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

I actually don’t have any Magicians stories in progress at the moment, because I need to fulfill some obligations for fic challenges in the Marvel fandom, but I’ve got some ideas for exploring post 4x05 Queliot. Much of my writing has had an angsty bent to it, so it’s been fun thinking about fluffier concepts.

How long is your “to do list”?

Ehh let’s not think too hard about that. It’s kinda daunting, but I’m slowly working my way through it. I tend to be very spontaneous in my writing method, and I’m trying to challenge myself to write things that are longer than a single evening’s worth of work.

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

“Feelings are for Pussies and the Aesthetically Challenged” is probably my favorite right now, and also has had the biggest response from readers. It was originally intended as a one-shot, but basically every comment asked me to keep going, and that was such a cool experience to get ideas from readers and use them as inspiration to write two more chapters. I’m really proud of how many people seemed to enjoy it.

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

“Eliot and the Art of Sharing” for sure. It’s one of the first Magicians fics I ever wrote, and it’s kind of an odd one, but it holds a special place in my heart because it’s when I started developing the way I write Eliot and Margo’s friendship.

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

I tend to be very in the moment. I’ll get an idea and sit down on my couch or in bed to write for a couple hours, which can be quite difficult since I use my phone. I’m bad about writing at night before an opening shift. I’ve spent a lot of late nights I should be sleeping working on a story in the hopes of getting it posted. Waking up at 5 am for work sucks the next morning, but it seems to be how I write my best stuff.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I joined the fandom in November of 2018, so I don’t have a lot of experience with the show airing, but I definitely wrote more on hiatus. A lot of my work exists outside of current canon, so I think the emotional aspect of whatever is currently happening with each new episode affects my writing much more than the actual plot.

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

I struggled to complete “Dancing on My Own” partly because it was such an introspective look at Eliot’s inner thoughts. I found myself channeling a lot of my own anxieties and intrusive thoughts, and that was difficult to write, but I think it really paid off to take a step back from writing it to give myself space to decide what I was comfortable with sharing about my own mental health struggles. I’m so proud of how it turned out.

Are there any themes or tropes that you like particularly like to explore in your writing?

I’m a slut for writing any fic where the two people in the ship are pining for each other, but are too scared to make a move. Add in the cast of background characters who start to realize what’s happening, and that’s my jam.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Fanfiction-wise, @ohmarqueliot, @sadlittlenerdking, and @adjovi are the people whose writing I first fell in love with in this fandom, and I keep coming back to their work. Outside of fanfiction, I’ve learned a lot through playing Dungeons and Dragons with a group of friends about character and world-building, and while it’s not traditional writing, there’s such a collaborative storytelling aspect to it that has massively influenced how I approach things.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Right now I’m reading a lot of post 4x05 Queliot fic, (especially anything fluffy or smutty), as well as a lot of Steve/Tony MCU smut.

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

I saw Neil Gaiman give a lecture a few months back, and he told the audience that when he’s struggling to write that he makes himself sit at his computer and he tells himself he can either write or do nothing, but those are his only options. He said that usually he’ll get bored of staring at the wall pretty quickly, and start writing to save himself from the tedium of nothingness. As silly as it might sound, it totally works for me. It’s like a little hack for my brain that overrides the anxiety of starting a new story.

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

I definitely describe characters blushing far too much, and find myself using the same phrases a couple paragraphs in a row in most stories. Reading outloud as I edit helps a lot with that.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

The one that immediately comes to mind was based off of Tamora Pierce’s “Protector of the Small” series. As a middle/high schooler I really loved her books and identified most with Keladry, the protagonist of that series. It was a post-series fixit fic resolving all the stuff I wish had happened. I tried finding it a couple years ago but couldn’t. I also wrote a lot of awful James/Lily Harry Potter fic back in the day, so that was probably the first stuff I ever wrote.

Self-edit or Beta?

Self-edit. I’m far too impatient to not post stuff the same night, and I get very stressed about other people editing my work. I’d like to eventually be able to handle having a beta, but I’m not sure if it’ll happen.

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes?

Yes please! I’m definitely the kind of person who closely monitors that stuff, as much as I hate to admit it. Comments are my favorite though. I absolutely love hearing from people who’ve read my work

Smut, Fluff or Angst?

I mostly read smut, write angst, and fluff is the sweet spot in that venn diagram.

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn?

I’m impatient and usually go for Quick & Dirty, both in my writing and reading preferences, but I’ve been getting more into the delicious tension that is Slow Burns.

Favourite season?

Season two

Favourite Episode?

This is probably super cliche, but either 3x05 or 4x05.

Favourite book?

The Magician King

Three favourite words?

What the fuck

Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.

#the magicians #the magicians rec center #author spotlight #author: quellthefire

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petitesimss · 6 years

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Get to Know Me Tag

I was tagged by the beautiful @timouke to do this challenge so here we go I guess?!

Rules: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions! :)

My Traits: Clumsy, Goofball, and Genius

(According to other people, I swear I didn't label myself as a genius! xD)

Really quick I would like to go ahead and tag of my FAV simblrs: @mmfinds @stardustsim @blushchat @brindletonsims @mochieo @awsimmer92 @fussysim @simplistic-sims4 @tainoodles and also anyone who wants to do it!

1. What is your full name? Megan :)

2. What is your nickname? Meg (Omg so basic)

3. When is your birthday? October 7th

4. Favorite book series? ‘ARRY POTTER!

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Uhm not aliens but I think some form of ghosts exist. Not necessarily the scary ones xD

6. Favorite author? John Green

7. Favorite Radio Station? I don’t listen to the radio oof

8. What is your favorite flavor of everything? Chocolate or Strawberry!! Mmmm

9. What word will you often use to describe something great or wonderful? Amazing or just a *gasp* noise

10. What is your current favorite song? Nancy Mulligan by Ed Sheeran

11. Favorite word? oof

12. What was the last song you listened to? Currently listening to Pentatonix’s cover of Hallelujah

13. What TV show do you recommend? I am currently obsessed with Vampire Diaries

14. Favorite movie to watch when you’re upset? Omg this is weird but those classic like 2005 Barbie movies always cheer me up

15. Do you play video games? Not really other than sims ofc :P

16. Biggest Fear? Dark Bathrooms (especially the mirrors, its a long story)

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? My drive to work hard or maybe just my general compassion for everyone

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? LAZINESS

19. Cats or dogs? CATS I HAVE THREE

20. Favorite season? Fall because of sweaters and moderately cool weather

21. Are you in a relationship? Oui!

22. Something you miss from your childhood? Barbie Movies

23. Best friend? My boyfriend xD

24. Eye color? Chocolate brown

25. Hair color? Dark brown, black at the roots

26. Who is someone you love? My mother xD

27. Who is someone you trust? My mother

28. Who is someone you think about often? My boyfriend (These answers are so basic oof)

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? IM SEEING THE CRIMES OF GRINDLEWALD TOMORROW

30. Biggest obsession? Cats

31. Favorite TV show as a kid? Probably I-Carly or Hannah Montana

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My boyfriend

33. Are you superstitious? Unintentionally yes

34. Any unusual phobias? Dark bathrooms xD

35. In front of the camera or behind it? Both

36. Favorite Hobby? Sims eek

37. Last book your read? Idk why but I stopped reading and so I have no idea

38. Last movie you watched? Not all of it but some of Pitch Perfect (I’ve already seen the whole thing don't worry)

39. Play an instrument? My voice and also a bit of the keyboard

40. Favorite Animal? Cat.

41. Top five tumblr blogs you follow? ALL OF THEM DANG IT

42. What superpower do you wish you had? Flight!

43. Where and when do you feel the most at peace? At home, sleeping in my bed

44. What makes you smile? Literally life

45. What sports do you play, if any? I’ve been in dance for 13 years

46. Favorite drink? Coca-Cola

47. Last time you wrote a handwritten note or letter to someone? This week actually!

48. Afraid of heights? DUH

49. Biggest pet peeve? SLOW WALKERS JUST WALK PLEASE

50. Ever been to a concert? Yep and I’ve been in several local ones

51. Vegan or Vegetarian? Heck no

52. What did you want to be when you were little? A pop star xD

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Just. Hogwarts. Always.

54. What is something you worry about? If I am actually liked by people

55. Scared of the dark? Only in bathrooms dude

56. Do you like to sing? YES (Soprano 1 - Mezzo)

57. Ever skipped school? Nope, I’m a good bean

58. Favorite place on the planet? Bed.

59. Where would you like to live? New York or Paris

60. Have any pets? 3 cats (Bella, Possum, and Ty) and also a fish whose name I don't remember

61. Early bird or Night owl? NIGHT OWL

62. Sunrises or Sunsets? I’m gonna go with sunsets

63. Do you know how to drive? I should but I don't xD

64. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds but not the ones you get with an iPhone, those suck!

65. Ever had braces? Three years I think total, and I just had to get a 6 week retainer set to close a small gap that came back :(

66. Favorite genre of music? Pop I guess xD Or musical theater!

67. Who is your hero? My stepdad

68. Do you read comic books? No but my stepdad did xD

69. What makes you the most angry? When people make jokes about things like cancer or diabetes (THEY ARENT FUNNY)

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Definitely a real book, My eyes don't hurt as much plus they smellll soooo goooodd

71. Favorite Subject? English or Science

72. Any siblings? So this is complicated but I have one half brother, a half-step brother, and a half-step sister

73. The last thing you bought? I bought a journal and some bath salts for my friend’s birthday

74. How tall are you? So I used to be 5′2 but every time I go to the doctor they measure me at like 5′1 and I am confusion

75. Can you cook? Yes but I prefer baking

76. Three things you love? My family, my friends, and food (Omg I typed foot at first EEK)

77. Three things you hate? I LITERALLY DONT HATE ANYTHING IM SORRY

78. Do you have more female friends or male friends? Female oof

79. Sexual orientation? Straight But why did you need to know??

80. Where do you currently live? Louisiana OOOF

81. Last person you texted? My boyfriend, specifically “hehehe yess”

82. Last time you cried? Watching “A Walk to Remember” a few weeks ago

83. Favorite youtuber? All of them, rip

84. Do you like to take selfies? Yes but only because I don't like the pictures other people take of me xD

85. Favorite app? BUZZFEED or maybe netflix

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? I love my mom and we are close but me and my biological dad don't talk

87. Favorite foreign accent? FRENCH OR BRITISH

88. Place you’ve never been to but want to visit? Hawaii or Paris

89. Favorite number? 2 but also literally any even number

90. Can you juggle? Who on here can actually juggle cause I want to be your best friend please (so no)

91. Are you religious? I’m supposed to be catholic but I haven't been to church in a while

92. Is outer space or the deep ocean more interesting? The deep ocean because I want to be a mermaid

93. Do you consider yourself a daredevil? No I am the opposite oof

94. Are you allergic to anything? Cats and dogs, pollen, grass, apparently something in the meningitis vaccine (ITS A LONG STORY)

95. Can you curl your tongue? YOU BET I CAN

96. Can you wiggle your ears? No but I can shake my eyes

97. How often do you admit that you’re wrong about something? I am never wrong, ever.

98. The forest or the beach? The beach cause mermaids

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given to you? Do what you love, don’t work for money.

100. Are you a good liar? I am a TERRIBLE liar

101. Hogwarts house? Gryffindor but my hybrid house is Gryffinpuff soooo...

102. Do you talk to yourself? I used to tbh but now I usually just sing to myself

103. Introvert of Extrovert? Extrovert but I love me time

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? No I just deal with my thoughts

105. Do you believe in second chances? Absolutely

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Look for identification in it so I can return it to it’s owner

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Of course!

108 Are you ticklish? VERY

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Yes, I was on one last weekend

110. Any piercings? Only my basic ear piercings

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Ronald Weasley

112. Any tattoos? No but I wanna get a few small ones later in life

113. Best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Care for others is far more rewarding than wallowing in sadness

114. Do you believe in karma? It depends, really

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I used to wear glasses but since one of my eyes is near sighted and the other is far sighted they balance each other out enough so that I don’t necessarily need them anymore

116. Do you want children? YES LIKE 3-5

117. Who is the smartest person you know? My stepdad

118. Most embarrassing moment? That time I asked my bestfriend at the time’s sister if I could wear a pad on a water slide (IT WAS MY FIRST PERIOD OKAY?)

119. Ever pulled an all-nighter? I’ve made it to 6 am xD

120. What color are most of your clothes? Yellow or pink :P

121. Do you like adventures? PLANNED adventures, yes

122. Ever been on tv? A few times

123. How old are you? 16

124. Favorite quote? But without the dark, we’d never see the stars

125. Sweet or savory foods? SWEEETTT

OML THIS TOOK FOREVER RIP

#ts4m #ts4mmcc #TS4 #s4mm #S4S #s4 #simself #simblr #get to know me #gettoknowmechallenge

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welcome-to-noir-world · 6 years

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OC Creation Day Celebration Week: Fleshing Out Meme

While, I’d love to use an OC from The Garden’s Children (AKA The Greatest Chase), that WIP is very barebones, and I want to wait and flesh out some more things before I use anything from it (technically, I should be working on that now but hah). So, I’m gonna use my OC Noah from Magus (name pending) for this week.

Full Name: Noah Signore

Nickname: N/A

Meaning: My tradition of naming characters whose names’ code don’t fit their gender

Pet name: N/A

Gender: Female

Orientation: Pansexual

Age: 19, will probably be in her early to mid-twenties when the series ends

Birthday: Sep 6, 20??

Birthplace: Nevada

Astrological sign: Virgo

Immediate Family: Her father, Ambriel Signore and mother Emeline Signore/Sinclair

Distant Family: Either dead, missing, or estranged

Parenting: She has a good father, even if the two of them seem a little distant at times

Upbringing: Pretty okay if you don’t count the occasional financial issue and demon attack.

Coming of age: Begins when she inherits her grandmother’s magic ability and she dies not too long after

Evolution: From a semi-ruthless girl obsessed with finding her mother, to a semi-delusional girl who is even more terrified of demons than she previously was, to a significantly calmer girl who is willing to learn to take things in moderation (she’s trying guys)

Species: Human mage (who just so happens to have elf ears I promise it makes sense in context)

Ethnicity: African American/Native American

Facial type: H-...heart shape? (I don’t know)

Eye color: Brown (sometimes orange)

Hair color: red

Hairstyle: long and curly

Skin tone: Milk chocolate

Complexion: Clear

Makeup: Sometimes, but only a little

Build: Tall and slim

Height: 5′11

Birthmarks/scars: She has one large scar that covers her entire body and looks more like a tattoo. It doesn’t always appear, though.

Distinguishing features: Elf ears are pretty noticeable (when she’s not hiding them)

Health: Physically, she’s fine

Energy: Seems pretty chill until it’s investigation time

Memory: Pretty good when she doesn’t have too much on her mind

Senses: Standard senses are normal, except that she can hear better than most. In terms of senses regarding the spirit world, she’s finely tuned, a blessing and a curse.

Allergies: None

Phobias: Mistakes, curses, herself, and demons

Style: It changes all the time, not even I can keep up

Mode of dress: She can rock a good dress when she wants to, but sometimes sticks to a blouse and dress pants

Grooming: Hygiene is important, no matter what the occasion

Posture: Perfect, when she’s not stressed

Gait: Brisk and when she’s frustrated, slow when she’s in a good mood

Habits and mannerisms: She tends to bite her fingernails when she’s frustrated or contemplating something.

Scent: Tea-tree oil

Mood: Chill and pensive

Attitude: She can be pretty standoffish if you approach her wrong

Stability: Depends

Expressiveness: Not very expressive unless she’s very emotional, which doesn’t happen often

When Happy: When she’s got a breakthrough on something she’s working on

Current residence: University Dorms

Community: Pretty warm when she actually accepts them

Family: Her friends and father (and his workers)

Friends: Her classmates and some of the younger students

Enemies: Demons, The Author, The Silver Cauldron, until a certain point, Mildred

Pets/familiars: Her cats and some spirits and faeries that aren’t dicks

Collections: Perfume bottles

Prized possession: An animal skull

Religion: To the Greater Spirits

Motivation: Finding her mom and surviving demon attacks

Priorities: See the above

Philosophy: If there’s is something you need to do, expel any hesitance regarding sacrifice or consequences, as neither will matter in the greater scheme of things (it’s hilarious how fast that comes back to bite her)

Etiquette: Takes off her shoes when entering someone’s home

Culture: N/A

Influences: Th Spirits, her motivations, and any one who manages to get inside her head

Traditions: N/A

Superstitions: Demons. They’re everywhere

Main Goal: Find mom

Minor Goals/Ambitions: Who the fuck cares, where is my mom???? (wouldn’t mind learning to control her magic, though)

Career: She helps her dad run his hotel when she can

Biggest Failure: Letting her demon (yes, that’s what she calls it) hurt Mildred

Secrets: A lot

Worries: See “superstitions”

Best dream: You read her main goal, right?

Hobbies/interests: Drawing and dancing

Skills/talents: See the above

Likes: Quiet places where she can study

Dislikes: Crowded places

Pet peeves: Bigotry and hypocrites (cause the author enjoys irony)

Quirks: N/A

Savvy: Spirit savvy

Can’t understand: People with no drive

Strengths: Stubborn, clever, independent, and quick-witted

Flaws: Aggresive, obsessive, and stubborn’s here to

Tagging: Anyone and Everyone

#occelebration

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Empire of the Vampire Makes Vampires Scary Again

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This article is sponsored by As a species, humans have more or less always been obsessed with vampires. (The earliest references to blood-drinking creatures date back to ancient Mesopotamia, believe it or not.) But the way we relate to these creatures has shifted throughout the centuries, as legends, folklore, and popular culture have adapted to the needs and fears specific to respective societies.

Published in 1897, Bram Stoker’s Dracula may have sparked a particular vein of horror story that continues to this day (looking at you, American Horror Story: Double Feature), but Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire, published in 1976, changed how audiences relate to bloodsuckers forever and plenty of contemporary vampire tales have continued to cast the creatures as broody, desirous, long-suffering anti-heroes burdened by the weight of immortality.

But don’t expect bestselling Australian author Jay Kristoff’s new book, Empire of the Vampire, to follow this modern trend. In this story, the first in a new epic fantasy trilogy, vampires are 100% terrifying again, vicious monsters who kill violently and indiscriminately, and whose powers mean that few humans are capable of standing against them for long.

“When I was a kid, vampires were the monsters under the bed. They were the scary things that were trying to eat the good people,” Kristoff explains during a wide-ranging conversation with Den of Geek. “I grew up reading books like Salem’s Lot and watching films like The Lost Boys and Near Dark. Those were the vampires that I grew up with.”

Those aren’t generally the sorts of vampires we tend to see in much contemporary fiction nowadays, however. From The Vampire Diaries and True Blood to the Twilight franchise, recent mainstream pop culture has embraced the idea of the vampire as a version of the ultimate bad boy boyfriend, a secretly romantic figure still searching for true love after centuries of loneliness.

“Over the course of the last 20, 30 years they have evolved into something very different,” Kristoff says. “[And] there’s nothing wrong with exploring that kind of vampire,” he adds, describing himself as a “massive fan” of The Vampire Diaries and firmly “Team Delena” when it comes to the love triangle at the show’s center.

“The cool thing about [the ‘vampire’ concept] is they’re a dozen different things to a dozen different people. You can have a dozen different vampire fans in the room, and they’ll all tell you a different reason why they like them, why they’re attracted to them.”

Though Kristoff may enjoy the world of The Vampire Diaries—he’s currently making his way through its spin-off The Originals—Stefan and Damon Salvatore were not the sort of creatures whose story he was interested in exploring in Empire of the Vampire. The novel is set in a kingdom where the sun has barely shone for nearly three decades, the dead walk during the daytime, and vicious vampire factions fight for control over the remaining human territories. Its world is bleak and frightening, and his vampires reflect that fact.

“I did want to make them monsters again,” Kristoff says. “I wanted to explore the way eternity and immortality would just warp you beyond all recognition. [How] it would make you inhuman.”

The author cites Rice’s aforementioned Interview with the Vampire as “the biggest influence” on this story. “I’ve loved that book since I was a kid,” he says. “And one of the strong themes that permeates that text is that nothing is forever. Everything goes away on a long enough timeline.” Including the humanity of those who were once human. Kristoff’s novel includes something of a nod to Rice’s work, as the story is framed by our primary protagonist recounting the highs and lows of his life to a vampire historian named Jean-Francois, who is our first consistent glimpse into the removed, detached attitude with which these creatures view human beings.

“Over the course of hundreds upon hundreds of years, if you’re killing a person every night, you very quickly stop seeing people as people and start seeing them as food,” Kristoff explains. “That can’t help but affect your worldview and the way that you interact with it. I don’t think you could help but become inhuman …That’s really what the older vampires in this world are. They’re truly alien and truly monstrous. They look at us the same way that we look at the hamburger that we’re about to eat for dinner.”

Empire of the Vampire is not for the faint of heart. Clocking in at over 800 pages, this is a book bursting with darkness of both the literal and the figurative variety. From the cataclysmic event known as “daysdeath,” which literally darkens the sun to violent, to bloody battles between the living and the dead that lead to (multiple) heartbreaking deaths, this is not a story that’s here to coddle its readers or pull any punches, narratively or figuratively speaking.

“There’s only [redacted] named characters—as in major characters—left alive at the end of the book,” Kristoff teases. “Everybody else is dead.”

But as a result, Empire of the Vampire is also genuinely compelling, a rich, layered story that embraces real stakes and wrestles with complex questions about faith, belief, and family, both found and otherwise.

“It’s the biggest book that I’ve written. It’s definitely the hardest book that I’ve written,” Kristoff says, whose previous works include the Nevernight trilogy, another massive fantasy shot through with violence, corruption, and complex stakes. “Now that I’m at the tail end of it, [I think] it’s the best book that I’ve ever written. I’m more proud of this novel than anything I’ve ever written in my life, and that’s against some pretty stiff competition.”

Ostensibly, Empire of the Vampire follows the story of Gabriel de Leon, the last Silversaint, a member of an elite order of warriors who have sworn their lives to the Church in order to defend the world from the encroaching vampire plague. The novel is his reflection upon his own life, told from what feels very much as though it could be the end of it, imprisoned by the very creatures he was once charged with hunting.

Told in split narratives that look back at the beginning of his time as a Silversaint and his final desperate journey to save the world, Empire of the Vampire not only shows us a hero in crisis but one who has forgotten why he wanted to be a hero in the first place.

“[Gabe’s story] is two sides of the same coin,” Kristoff explains. “One, when he’s young and passionate and thinks all the world is good and bright and he can be a positive force in it. And the other one where he’s gotten old and realized that things don’t always work out the way they do in the storybooks.”

Though Gabe was once the sort of hero who tends to have songs written about them, by the time he’s recounting his great deeds to his vampire captors, he’s become more of a “fallen hero” whose story is primarily “about redemption, or at least a reclamation of faith.”

“Faith was something that was really important to him as a young guy,” explains Kristoff, “but terrible things happened to him over the course of his life and he lost his faith, as many of us do. Part of his journey, at least in Empire, is about finding something to believe in. He’s on a pretty destructive path at the start of the book when we meet him, and he’s 32. He doesn’t have a heck of a lot to live for. At least in part, his journey is about finding something that’s bigger than himself, that’s something more than the revenge that he’s driven toward…something worth fighting for.”

That something arrives in the form of a quest. Like so many before him in popular literature, Gabe ultimately finds himself on a search for the Holy Grail, a magical object that is rumored to be able to end daysdeath, and with it, the vampire plague. Whether the Grail is real or not is a spoiler that only those who read the book will find out, but Gabe’s search for it will quite literally change his life and expand the events of the second and third books in this trilogy in new and different ways.

In Empire of the Vampire, Gabe’s hunt for the Grail forces him to reckon with the darkest aspects of his own life as “ a lot of his own sins come back to haunt him.” As an example, Kristoff describes a later chapter in the book (it’s called “The Worst Day” for those who want to skip ahead) as “the hardest chapter I’ve ever written in my life.”

“I think some of the darkness that was happening in the world around me permeated my head and permeated the story,” Kristoff says of a scene in which, as you might have already guessed, something awful happens to a major character. “I wrote that scene and at the end of it I slammed the laptop shut and just pushed it away from me. I didn’t touch it for four days. I couldn’t bring myself to look at it. That’s the heaviest thing I’ve ever written. Even reading it back now, I’m like, ‘Damn, that’s really tough, you bastard.’”

Empire of the Vampire is just the first piece of what is shaping up to be a massive fantasy saga, and its second installment—which Kristoff says he’s writing right now—is set to expand the series’ world even further, introducing us to the matriarchal clans of the western Ossway as well as the dangerous vampires of the Blood du Voch, whose strength makes them especially difficult to kill. But, according to Kristoff, readers shouldn’t be shocked if the sequel turns our understanding of the story we’re reading on its head once more.

“One of the cool things [about Book 2] is you get a second POV. There’s another character that’s imprisoned in the tower and we get their version of events,” Kristoff explains. “You start to realize that maybe Gabe hasn’t been entirely truthful, or maybe he’s just viewing the past and certain people through rose-colored glasses.”

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In other words: Buckle up. This adventure has only just begun, and plenty of Kristoff’s dark creatures are still waiting in the wings.

Empire of the Vampire hits bookshelves in the U.S. on September 14th, and in the U.K. a week prior. Find out more here.

The post Empire of the Vampire Makes Vampires Scary Again appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/38RMDMa

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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moodblog71 · 3 years

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