#autistic!dirk things

[chewyguts]

most transgender thing I’ve ever done is fill out my gender clinic referral form while listening to ultimate dirk strider’s pesterquest theme on repeat. in my defence it’s my concentration song and i had already been listening to it for an hour before i realised the irony of the situation

[schrodingers-slut]

Unconventional headcanon time:

In modern aus Dirk and Sollux would have absolutely shit grades. Dirk hates the teachers thinking they know more than him and thinking they can tell him when he has to do what.

Sollux doesn’t even show up to class and when he does he’s on his phone cause he very clearly doesn’t fucking care and would rather do something else.

[weepingvines]

Random thought: Instead of using a near-true-to-life text to speech program to communicate with MSPAR/someone in the physical plain, Hal chooses to sound like either HAL 9000 to a T or better yet, the original first computer that could sing. Static tinniness and all.

[nekropsii]

Yes, a lot of these are just facts. They’re included because they’re also gunshots to people. For some reason. I don’t know why saying things that happened in canon or are just true is a gunshot to some people.

[conceptofjoy]

what r the differences between the Dirk genetic code brothers(???) like the differences in personality/demeanor between Dirk Hal and seb :p

i think the maaain difference is that lil seb is young and hasnt had a ton of time to develop issues like they have lol but they all share mega anxiety. they all deal with it differently tho.

u know how dirk uses irony and his off putting nature as a shield, hal is similar but hes way more antagonistic. remember when hes like im literally glasses what are u getting mad at me for?? it reads as younger sibling behavior sooo much and then he would immediately turn to dirk when things go sour.

honestly i think dirk would be more protective over hal than seb in the way that hal can both do WAY more damage (to his own image too lol) and he like. doesnt see anything explicitly wrong with seb. seb’s being constantly on edge wouldnt count as something wrong because he is also hyper aware of everything happening always. dirk and seb can fall prone to overstimulation easily but hal is more nothing bad can happen to me ever (WRONG. NOT USED TO DEALING WITH CONSEQUENCES). seb has mega agoraphobia more so than dirk and hal has it more than the average person.

dirk thinks its all hells of embarrassing when seb acts like himself when he was younger (specifically bc this ‘dirk’ is growing up around people who care about him so theres differences). the checklist of what counts as ok and omg CRINGE is odd. swiftly climbing people to sit on their shoulders? ok can be written off as him getting a higher vantage point. asking for a hug? pouting? doing the rabbit angry stomp thing? ………

i did say hal was less prone to overstimulation but not rlly in the same way they are. theyre more easily overstimulated in social environments but he has issues with more, general sensory inputs. he was a human that turned into a robot that turned back human. he has a hell of a time adjusting to physical textures. they r all autistic.

um last one bc this is getting long. seb has trouble seeing dirk and hal as like. actual people. the texts between wen dirk and seb are so awkward, seb says some shit about ‘awaiting orders’ and dirk doesnt know what to do with him. seb sends him pictures of his fresh kills and dirk thinks its hilarious. seb uses hal as a middle man when he wants something from dirk but is too shy to ask it bc he’s like afraid of over stepping boundaries. he constantly refers to dirk as ‘their creator’ and hal keeps telling him to quit it. hal has zero qualms about using him as a little minion to do his evil bidding.

[on-wednesdays-we-eat-the-rich]

For @frenchfriedgiraffe

Dirk Gently's autistic-coding explained!

He's extremely socially awkward, often annoying people without realising and saying things that make perfect sense to him but are confusing to everyone else

Does some very odd things, like breaking into Todd's apartment, and thinks nothing of it

Takes things literally and gets confused by what other people say ("Did you go and change?" "No Todd, it's still me. Though my clothes are different.")

Notices things no-one else notices

Wears different coloured variations of the same jacket

In a few scenes I've noticed him doing some small stims with his hands

In season two, he's very up-and-down emotionally, and (SPOILER) Arnold's death on top of all the stress seems to burn him out

He really wants to be friends with people but doesn't know how to do it

His special interest is probably his job because he's very enthusiastic about it and loves explaining it to people

[calamarieater]

i will forever view dirk as autistic because of his controlling nature and his desire to be in charge+ his other behavior

he is quite literally one of the first noncanon autistic characters that actually has the BAD autistic traits

like the traits that arent commonly shown in media and i think its AWESOME because like i said autistic traits like that are VERY rarely shown in media, if theyre shown at all its almost always in a character thats a horrible person, because people see these traits as "bad", but in reality these traits are just hard to understand. without being autistic yourself it is hard to understand why there's a need for control or why there's a need to keep things inline

but its such a common trait amongst autistic people that it's just... idk

he has so many other autistic traits too

he tends to fall into the cliche "autistic robot" which is something he was initially parodying when he made the auto responder. similar to this, his speech is often very monotonous, and he only ever really expresses emotional inflections when he raps.

he also struggles to process emotions and he tends to feel things MUCH more strongly than most, and with this his slightly emotionally disconnected attitude is how he copes with his strong emotions.

he also just infodumps without even realizing it.

he's WAY more creative than most give him credit for, its most obvious in his art/rap lyrics but also in the way he can just make up metaphors on the spot, and these metaphors only ever really make sense to him.

before he makes "splinters" like his AR, he talks to himself often, like super often, as in, full conversations out loud with himself. this likely has to do with how lonely he was, but it is still a common trait with autistic people.

he doesnt really have "stims" he tends to just play with his hands/hair.

robotics is 100% a special interest. same with human history (but not just the apocalypse, hes studied way older things.)

he also experiences really intense hyperfocus, and can and WILL go for hours and sometimes days without eating or sleeping when he starts to work on things.

in conclusion: dirk strider is an autistic boy

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 1 of bracket one

Propaganda:

For Dirk:

he literally fuckint cut off his own head so his crush would kiss him. also he made a robot that fights with a sword to terrorize said crush. also another version of him (,homestuck. complex timeline shit) keeps swords.in the fucking fridge?

Bi and gay sibling solidarity 

For Zoro:

Literally training to be the greatest swordsman in the world. Has a special three swords technique (one blade in each hand plus one with the handle held in his teeth). I haven't read the manga or watched the anime but the live action adaptation gives me extremely gay vibes and based on the fandom things I've seen I'm not the only one

bro uses three swords. has one in his mouth. dont ask how the HELL he manages that. one day he will be the worlds greatest swordsman....after he beats the current greatest for both the titles of greatest swordsman and fruitiest swordsman. he's dramatic as FUUUCK like bro what the hell. has homoerotic fights with the local twink like everyday. directionally challenged, can and will get lost in a paper bag, doesnt know left from right...he probably cant read, too. hes too silly ngl

First of all, im in like episode 250 and so far he hasnt been shown attracted to any woman at all during the whole show so far, not even when one changed clothes in the same room as him and this is anime so you know there were other characters with bloody noses and shit. With that out of the way he wields three swords at once [two in his hands, one is his goddamn mouth dude. Its cool af trust me.] When he was little he made a promise to his best friend that he'd be the best swordsman in the world. Later she died in a tragic accident and left her sword which he still uses today. He also carries a cursed sword but he overpowers the curse with a combination of skill and sheer luck. He got stuck in a chimney. While his crewmates sail their ship he takes naps. He learned how to cut through metal by fighting a guy who could turn his body into metal blades. That's metal. He refuses to fight this liberal marine officer because she looks like his childhood best friend and its just understandably really awkward for him. He's autistic. He's a he/him bisexual lesbian. He's a gay man. He's ace/aro. He's whatever you want him to be babey!!

he has 3 swords, wields one in his mouth sometimes, his dream is to be the greatest swordsman in the world

three swords and big aroace-spec gay vibes

He not only has a sword he has *three* swords. He's absolutely gay there's no way to see this man as straight. Also one time he licked his sword for no reason and that was really funny to me so I had to mention it

Look, this man thinks about three things: Swords, His Captain, and Booze. He’s on a quest to be the worlds greatest swordsman. The Live action has a scene where he declares his undying, unwavering loyalty to his captain WHILE reaffirming his promise to be the worlds greatest swordsman. At this point His dream and his Captain are so intertwined it’s crazy. Man is so sword-y he’s got three of them. When one of his swords broke he carried its empty scabbard until he was able to give it a SWORD FUNERAL. He hears a sword is cursed and takes that as a challenge. He will literally tell his swords off for “bad behavior” when they “act up” due to being straight up cursed. He tests one by throwing it in the air and sticking his arm out to see if it is so blood thirsty and ill tempered that it will cut him. Even though he’s literally the first mate if you ask him what his role is he’s going to answer Swordsman.

He's dedicated his life to two things: becoming the greatest swordsman in the world and his captain, Luffy. 

He mastered the three sword style. Its his style. It would've been more swords but he could only fit one sword in each hand and one in his mouth. He wants to be the world's greatest swordsman, a deal he made with his childhood best frenemy (before she died falling down the stairs). He thought he was All That at the start and was almost completely decimated by the actual Worlds Greatest Swordsman. Now, after two years forced training with that guy, he's probably in the top tier no-doubt, and honestly could already be the best but we just don't know for sure yet. Also, did I mention: he's got the whole demon/devil imagery going on at times. And he has absolutely no sense of direction! plus is a total softie when it comes to Chopper and all the children who somehow gravitate towards him. And he loves naps!

One of the guy's main goals in life is to be the best sword fighter and he fights with three swords which I think is telling enough of his skill.

[borzoilover69]

I know that you've already kinda figured out why dirkjakers like LE jake but I want to offer a more mundane reason and that is the absolute power fantasy that this man offers. I hate epilogues with a passion that could burn universes but ult dirk? My bpd ass was in shambles (that's why I'll someday make an essay on why dirk strider homestuck has bpd and/or npd), having control over people, over narrative itself, and most importantly fucking desimating your ex who called you clingy that one time while simultaneously still being obsessed with him, I've never lived vicariously through a character so much in my life. He is a horrible person but I Get him. "What would you do with this power" he asked the audience, and I solemnly nodded bc I would do the same thing (probably). And I suspect power fantasy LE jake offers is the same for some people bc don't you want to go apeshit? Don't you want to stop (not very successfully) conforming and be weird and off-putting freely? Don't YOU want to desimate YOUR ex? Both ult dirk and ult jake are what audience wants them to be and I think the audience wants them to be powerful, insane and murderous bc we ourselves cannot be like that irl. Their relationship is cathartic, their actions are cathartic, it's like religion if you relate to the god from old testament. Or I'm projecting big time which is also a possibility

Everyone take notes because this anon is speaking cold true facts and this shit is getting carved into the walls. I agree with the Dirk Strider has BPD headcanon, I offer up to you the Jake has BPD too headcanon in return.

I like the idea of Jake going batshit insane. I think a lot of people do, after all if the ancestors were anything to go off of, Jake and Dirk are pretty nuts.

Also fun sort of related fact, really fond of Ultimate Jake, it's because it plays into the mythos of their Demiurges / Denizens and how important that is to their stories. (I'm getting autistic here). Yaldaboath (Dirks Denizen, Destroyer of Peace) is considered a false god, harbinger of chaos, and uses the light he inherits from his mother, Sophia (personification of light and wisdom) to try to rise above others, even if he is blind and is not as aware of the aeons as his mother is.

Jesus destroyed Yaldaboaths kingdom and thus, Yaldaboath had him crucified, made a martyr. But before his martyrdom could set in, Jesus ascended and returned to the world. In Gnosticism, they viewed Yaldaboath as evil, and that Jesus had to overcome him "by destroying the Jewish Temple with an Earthquake lifting the veil or Yaldabaoth’s curtain of illusion, by Jesus’ resurrection and rapture. "

Now, who do we have quite literally representing Jesus Christ himself? Okay, you're going to say Karkat, but do you know who *specifically* represents the place where Christ himself died and was made a martyr and the rapt- OK ITS JAKE ENGLISH OKAY ITS JAKE ENGLISH. And the sufferer BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT.

There's quite a few parallels with Yaldaboath being one that wanted to be recognised as a god and in his jealous fury condemned a mortal god and Dirk Strider. There's quite a few parallels between Jesus Christ, Karkat, and Jake English, his rapture and ascension. There's an INSANE amount of parallels between Yaldaboath's mother, Sophia, and Rose Lalonde. Even down to Rose going grimdark, which Sophia DOES, after she loses her light, which is something i'll go on about in another ramble. Thematically, if we're following gnosticism, Jesus Christ, aka Jake English, is the one able to recognise and overcome Yaldaboaths illusion, aka Dirk Strider. It just makes SENSE.

[turnstechgodhead]

abt

hi im tsg (i guess)

im 22, my pronouns are whatever pronouns yours are, i like men

dersite. witch of something

this is my homestuck blog.... i was deep in it in 2013 and now i am. Here again. congratulations to me for being in a circle of torment

i'm not that deep fr i just really like the striders. dirk and dave mostly, and then like. whatever surrounds them. bc they captivated me years ago and ive accepted this.

transmasc nb dave, nb roxy and AuDHD striders/autistic lalondes truther

i don't care about hs^2 or epilogues or whatever, but i do like some of the concepts they have

i barely remember canon atp and i bet you don't either

my talking tag is #mumbling and my art tag is #tsga #tsgw is for more wordy things and #tsgbubbles is for my liveblogging of dreambubble.xyz/parp

placing this here for both you and me when we pass by my blog: remember your dailies

[lolliepops-rox]

It's very interesting to me, as a newer Homestuck fan, to see all the extensions for the offical-unoffical archives that 'fix'/remove 'problems' or 'problematic' parts of Homestuck. I was on Tumblr when Homestuck was at its peak and reblogged all the cute ship art, follow the outrageous ask blogs, my best friend did read it as it was still coming out¹. But I never actually read the comic itself, just kind waves from the sidelines. But I wasn't there to experience the big controversies in real time (i.e. 'peachy'). Hussie is not above critique, but I don't think he's a bigot or even a bad person. What he is, is a troll. A classic 2006 'I said something fucked up not because I believed it, but to get a reaction.' Which, I can see to someone who missed that time of the internet, and only knows now. In which people say those fucked up things, to get a reaction and cause they believe it.

And so to see people younger than me, but have joined the fandom at the same time as me, not understand this context, it feels wrong. The things people are willing to sweep under the rug cause it conflicts with their morals vs the things they condemn and blame Hussie for.

Homestuck is a very long, very complicated, but very important piece of art. To not consider every facet of it does it a disservice.

For something made by a 2006 troll, it put a lot of queer characters worth caring about in it. The alpha kids & trolls both exist to be parodies of their beta counterparts. This is partly why Dirk is queer, and that Dirk refuses a label. But is still allowed to opening like, then date, then break up with a boy. It's a response to how the fandom wrote & treated Dave. For those who know it, compare the S19Ep6 of South Park, Tweek X Craig. Matt & Trey, who in my opinion embody the same sort of troll sense of humour Hussie has, handle fandom making their characters being gay quite differently. Tweek & Craig in this EP aren't treated as genuinely queer characters, but the kids trapped in what the town has decided are wacky hijinks of this week. It's not necessarily bad, but compared to Dirk it feels way less genuine.

There's topics I can't talk on fully like the way Hussie's racial biases appear in various characters, as I'm from a completely different country. But in my very non-american opinion, it reads more as 'someone who has never thought to question the stereotypes they were raised with', than as someone who is genuinely and actively racist. There is a difference, and as a mixed kid that's important to me.

I'm not really sure how physically disabled people feel about the way Hussie wrote their physically disabled characters (but if people have written about this I'd love to read and linked to me) but he definitely uses mental disabilities/illnesses as a substitute for the word 'quirky' without thinking much about it (i.e. Nepeta is off-handedly called autistic) it's not really great, but the bar is so low when it comes to these things that my tourettic ass cling to Mituna like a lifeline.

Maybe I had a further point here. Maybe my point was just antis in the Homestuck fandom is still weird to me when there's canon incest. Maybe I've drunk a fair bit of vodka while writing this. I have work in the morning. Good night beloved tumblrinas.

¹she gave me classpect and everything, and it's the one I use to this day, despite having a completely different theory on how classpects work. I also joined a cosplay ask blog despite never reading Homestuck (at the time) cos she asked me to (simp) and bought black lipstick to do AMom.

[expiredmannequin]

==〉 OPEN POST

Welcome back to the early to mid 2000s where everyone and their mothers had a Homestuck tumblr - especially an ask blog.

That's what this is! This is an all-characters-included ask blog featuring my own art and such.

First things first before you start down your rabbit hole of getting into Homestuck again let's lay down boundaries.

YES

Ship asks (I am a multishipper so just thing of this blog like a multiverse of different versions of everyone's interactions! I'll probably set up a tagging thing or something so there's no confusion)

Canon x OC

Other ask blog interactions

Art Requests

Art Trades

Asking for a comission

DMing me personally (or even to RP! I may not get to everyone but I'll do my best!)

Suggestive asks (if you are a minor I will not answer these. Such posts will be tagged appropriately and any minors found interacting with theses posts will be blocked!)

NO

Proship stuff (stridercest, vantascest, etc.)

Beastiality anything

Discourse (I'm just being autistic and having fun I don't need drama brought here unless it's fictional)

Literally just anything illegal or immoral - just be normal (or as normal as a HS fan can be

ABOUT THE CREATOR

I'm a full grown pizza (20s)

I use any pronouns (includin neos!!!) EXCEPT THEY/THEM!!!!! - they/them for myself makes me feel super icky so please refrain from using those pronouns on me!

You're free to call me by literally any nickname you want but a base name I guess can be..uh. Expi? Ex...? EXP?? Something like that honestly

I am queer! and autistic..and disabled. A fucked up salad, really

I love Homestuck a NORMAL amount (me when I lie)

I am really socially awkward and full of anxiety so if I take awhile to reply to DMs at first it's because I'm nervous :,,) [ if I get comfortable with you I'll hand over my discord :D)

Sometimes posts will be spammed or they'll be scarce due to fluctuating energy (mentally and physically) but I'll do my best to try and keep up with stuff <3!!!!!!

Part of this blog will be personal HCs of homestuck characters and how they look!!!!!! alongside things like sexual orientation and gender (I will not change already canon queer identities such as lesbians and the like! I may use more or alternative terms that are still the same vibe, etc.)

My personal tag: homestuckexp

SIDE BLOGS

Dirk's Ask Side Blog

Dave's Ask Side Blog

THERE WILL BE OTHER'S ADDED LATER!

(I just need to figure out who else I'll do lol)

DIVIDERS BY: @cafekitsune (check her out! she does awesome dividers!!!!)

[mogai-headcanons]

John/June Egbert from Homestuck is a visually impaired autistic gay man lesbian sapphic vincian demiaroaceflux transfeminine genderfluid bunnygender fluidflux windgender nonbinary girl boy with BPD, depression, PTSD, and dissociative disorder who uses he/him, they/them, she/her, and ve/ver pronouns, and he's flushed for Dave and Dirk, pitch for Davesprite, and moirails with Rose!

Rose Lalonde is an autistic straight arospec lesbian trnasneumasculine nonbinary FTM lestroy squidgender darkgender horrorgender weirdgirlthing with BPD, NPD, HPD, OCPD, OCD, and PTSD who uses she/her, he/him, it/its, and thing/things pronouns, and she's flushed for Kanaya and Jade, pitch for Vriska, and moirails with Nepeta!

Dave Strider is an autistic bisexual lesbian gay man transneufeminine bigender neutrois crowgender boything with CPTSD, C-DID, NPD, ADHD, and chronic pain who uses he/him, she/her, and it/its pronouns, and he's flushed for John/June, pitch for Karkat, and moirails with Jade!

Jade Harley is an intersex acespec sapphic trans girl pupgender sciencegender girlthing with ADHD, BPD, HPD, and anxiety who uses she/her, pup/pups, and bark/barks pronouns, and she's flushed for Rose and Kanaya and moirails with Jade!

Jane Crocker is an aroacespec bisexual vincian trans boy with depression, anxiety, BPD, and body image issues who uses he/him and they/them pronouns, and he's flushed for Roxy and Calliope and moirails with Dirk!

Roxy Lalonde is an autistic omnisexual transfeminine genderfluid catgender gendervoid nullgender girl with ADHD, addiction issues, HPD, and PTSD who uses she/her, they/them, he/him, it/its, void/voids, and null/nulls pronouns, and she's flushed for Jane and Calliope!

Dirk Strider is an autistic closeted trans girl who currently identifies as a nonbinary boy; is arospec and is only interested in men, but leaves his sexuality unlabeled; has ADHD, BPD, HPD, NPD, C-DID, CPTSD, hypersexuality, OCD, paraphilic disorder, and anorexia; uses he/him pronouns; and is flushed for John/June and Jake, pitch for Caliborn, and moirails with Jane!

Jake English is an autistic intersex transneufeminine nebularomantic gay man wth HPD, OSDD, PTSD, and brain damage who uses he/him and they/them pronouns, and he's flushed for Dirk and pitch for Hal!

Davesprite is an autistic trans girl aromantic lesbian dyke with CPTSD, C-DID, NPD, ADHD, and chronic pain who uses he/him, it/its, and crow/crows pronouns, and he's pitch for John/June!

Lil Hal is an autistic transneutral intramasculine aroace gay man robot with HPD, NPD, hypersexuality, and PTSD who uses he/him and it/its pronouns, and he's pitch for Jake!

Aradia Megido is a bisexual transneufeminine ramgender ghostgender bonegender deadgender nonbinarygirlthing with PTSD who uses any pronouns, and she's flushed for Sollux and Feferi!

Tavos Nitram is a physically disabled transfeminine boything losergender cowgender gay man with PTSD who uses she/her, they/them, and it/its pronouns!

Sollux Captor is a visually impaired autistic bisexual transmasculine bigender boything with NPD, PTSD, and brain damage who uses he/him pronouns, and he's flushed for Aradia, Karkat, and Feferi!

Karkat Vantas is a trans girl arospec lesbian with BPD, HPD, PTSD, and anger issues who uses he/him, she/her, and it/its pronouns, and he's flushed for Sollux!

Nepeta Leijon is an autistic transneufeminine bigender catgender doodlegender sillygender gay man lesbian with PTSD and a speech impediment who uses any pronouns, and she's flushed/pale for Equius!

Kanaya Maryam is an autistic trans girl vampiregender rainbowgender lesbian with PTSD and anxiety who uses she/her pronouns, and she's flushed for Rose and Jade!

Terezi Pyrope is a completely blind transneutral girlthing lizardgender dragongender colorgender weirdgender lesbian with PTSD who uses they/them, it/its, and thing/things pronouns!

Vriska Serket is a physically disabled sapphic transfeminine bigender spidergender girlthing with BPD, HPD, NPD, and PTSD who uses she/her and it/its pronouns!

Equius Zahhak is an autistic bisexual transneutral intramasculine horsegender troll with PTSD who uses he/him pronouns, and he's flushed/pale for Nepeta!

Gamzee Makara is a pansexual transneumasculine nonbinary boy clowngender weirdgender boything with addiction issues, PTSD, anger issues, and brain damage who uses he/him, they/thm, it/its, and honk/honks pronouns!

Eridan Ampora is an autistic transneufeminine gay man with NPD and BPD who uses he/him pronouns!

Feferi Peixes is a vincian bubblegender mermangender trans boy with PTSD who uses she/her and bubble/bubbles pronouns, and she's flushed for Sollux and Aradia!

Dad Egbert is a cis gay man who uses he/him pronouns, and he's in a pitch relationship with beta Bro Strider!

Nana Egbert is a repressed straight trans man!

Beta Mom Lalonde is a bisexual transsexual woman with addiction issues who uses she/her pronouns!

Beta Bro Strider is a trans gay man who uses he/him pronouns, and he's in a pitch relationship with Dad Egbert and an on-again, off-again flush/pitch relationship with Grandpa Harley!

Grandpa Harley is a bisexual cis man who uses he/him pronouns, and he's in many flushed relationships, but always seems to come back to Bro!

Dad Crocker is a cis gay man who uses he/him pronouns!

Poppop Crocker is a repressed straight trans woman!

Alpha Mom Lalonde is a nonbinary lesbian who uses she/her and they/them pronouns!

Alpha Bro Strider is a bisexual cisnonbinary person with hypersexuality and addiction issues who uses any pronouns!

Grandma English is an aroace trans woman who uses she/her pronouns!

Calliope is an autistic sapphic queer transneufeminine gendercuddle nonbinary girl with BPD and PTSD who uses they/them, she/her, and other feminine pronouns, and they're flushed for Roxy and Jane!

Caliborn is an autistic cisnonbinary straight guy with ADHD, ASPD, NPD, and anger issues, and he sometimes hooks up wtih guys and is pitch for Dirk!

dni link

[bootstrapparadoxed]

Writeblr Introduction

[image description: a somewhat foggy/blurry photo of a green valley with a thin strip of a village in the middle and a cloudy, lightly blue sky above]

Author name: Mattie Bukowski, he/him

Country of residence: Poland

Preferred genres: horror, sci-fi, fantasy (in that order) – all preferably mixed with literary, plus literary on its own

Preferred mediums: novel, short story, video essay

Occupation: PhD student (evolutionary biology)

Age: mid-twenties

Hi, my name is Mattie, I write unhinged fiction inspired by my various existential crises and make video essays about whatever I am hyperfixated on in that moment. I’m queer, autistic, and disabled. English is not my native language but at this point I use it more than my native. My debut novel will hopefully come out late this year from a small press.

I want this side-blog to be mostly about writeblr, so my updates on my stories (both WIP and published), interaction with other people, tag games, etc etc - but I will also talk occasionally about video essays (both mine and other people’s), books I’m reading (will mostly be reblogs from my personal blog or links to a website – coming soon) and other random things I think are important.

If you feel like I would be interested in your stories, please feel free to reply to this post or tag me!

Links:

Main WIP

My existing works

Hyper-specific genres and tropes I love

Personal blog

YouTube channel

Full WIP list under the cut:

FrankensteinWIP – novel, working title “Offspring of Unhappy Days”: a literary horror with dark academia vibes and a dark m/m romance; tag line: “When two scientists discover a horrifying truth about consciousness and death, their obsessive devotion to each other pushes them to do the unthinkable.” Comps: “Babel”, “Leech”, “These Violent Delights”, “Call Me By Your Name”

30% drafted, fully outlined, want to finish the full draft and edit this year

Disability and Horror – video essay; explores the relationship between disability portrayal in horror, the ableism of the horror genre, and the way horror media/fiction can reflect or portray experiences of disabled people, albeit accidentally

Fully drafted, partially edited script, planning to release it this year

Hitchhiker's Guide is an Existentialist Masterpiece – video essay; starts off talking about how the works of Douglas Adams can be deeply philosophical and existential and goes into a lot of things, including chance, luck, and free will.

Partially outlined, planning to have it released this year, hopefully around August/September.

Ideas for novels or novellas that are spinning around in my head 24/7:

“eulogy”, a literary dystopia about a woman trying to document the full scope of humanity before the last human dies of old age; started drafting ages ago and dropped

a space horror novella about a space colony living on a planet that wants them dead, and an outcast accidentally stuck on it, with inspiration from one of my most obscure fears – ball lightning

a “soft-boiled, sybir-punk” novel – set in a future dystopian Russia and follows a bizarre conspiracy; comps: “The Author of My Immortal Emailed Me…” video by Sarah Z and Dirk Gently novels

rewrite of my first novel, “before the stardust” – an anti-capitalist space opera about five young people trying to find their place in the universe; started re-drafting a year ago and dropped

[qprsmackdown]

what submissions have the most convincing propaganda: rather for being silly or being serious

hi anon. mod zazie here. i read through every single one of the submissions to answer this because i am insane. and the results are as follows ^-^

techno & phil fans are INSANE over "for you phil, the world!!" as they should be!! i, too, read bunfloras' phil & techno fics. but even if i didnt already know who emeraldduo was, you all have VERY GOOD propaganda. Immortal lifelong best friends... <3

dsmp fans i love you im holding out my hand to you in a gesture of friendship. hello. both mods are also mcyt fans and dsmp fans. we know abt characters vs ccs. we also despise cc!dream. you are safe here. im sorry that previous polls have traumatized you :((

c!tubbo/c!ranboo fans also fucking turned out you have VERY convincing propaganda

ive never read the locked tomb, know nothing of the characters, but to the submitters who sent in Camilla Hect and Palamedes Sextus youve convinced me. VERY good job. where can i find your media i need to learn more. no like fr

jrwi fans are you okay. good lord /pos. also youll be pleased to know WE HAVE NOT ONE BUT TWO SUBMISSIONS OF THE GREATER MANA POLYCULE

to the etho/skizz fan who submitted an essay. hi. i think youre so right for putting them in a httyd au. very convincing propaganda. also are you okay.

hi silmarillion fans. do you need hot cocoa.

jrwi fans are literally so not normal about their guys. sorry to call you out but oh my god not a single one of you is normal /pos. its great.

not a fnaf fan but "Theyre also both canonically queer, if that helps. That has nothing to do with the lobotomies or the dying and being revived as a soulless walking corpse, though." is the sentence of all time. i hope whoever wrote that is doing well.

good evening to the homestuck fan who wrote jake & dirk propaganda so convincing that for a moment i wanted to go check out their media only to remember its Homestuck and ONLY to the homestuck fan who wrote jake & dirk propaganda so convincing that for a moment i wanted to go check out their media only to remember its Homestuck.

we've been over the jesus christ/mary magdalene submission but did you know apparently there's actual evidence to back it up? lots of it in fact? i did not expect to read that tonight (for future reference slash in case you're curious i am an atheist & cycad is christian)

the little women fan has some SERIOUS propaganda. my respect o7

hello to the autistic sp (south park) fan who wrote a genuine essay on kenny mccormick and eric cartman. wish you well (and like, we got a voltron submission as well. i dont know either of those shows/fandoms at all besides vague knowledge that they're not great but eh we're here to have fun. who cares (this is in response to you mentioning you didnt know if sp was allowed (i dont know actually youd have to ask cycad but im like 95% sure its fine (can you tell i have adhd))))

GIGOLAS FAN SPOTTED. they didnt write a lot of propaganda but HELL YEAH WE GOT SOME LOTR FANS HERE. theyre so qpr to me you dont even KNOW

i didnt even think about link/zelda being a qpr before this but you have convinced me. youre so right. they Are

besties who drink poison together STAY together!!! (merlin and arthur). fuck yeah baby!!! i have never seen merlin bbc

oh moirails are a homestuck thing i saw those in our asks and was unsure what they were

CANON QPR IN FABLE SMP? oh i need to check that out. fable smp fans ik this is a long shot but if anyone wants to give me reccomendations for where to start watching.

hiya qsmp fans. no need to worry you have turned out in both numbers AND propaganda. wowzers.

we have One submission for q!quackbur but now im wondering why no one has submitted c!quackbur. theyre literally homoeretic business rivals whose relationship could be viewed as platonic or romantic. smh

Roman and Youngblood from Roleslaying with Roman have very dedicated fans.

divorce quartet the divorced qp polycule ever but also im very biased. (both scott/cleo and scott/martyn were submitted multiple times)

we have some very fun ocs & real life qp relationships and im so here for it.

oh hey lifesteal smp i know those guys. wow damn theyre kinda fucked up arent they.

POLYARCHIVES SUPREMACY <3 BASEDBASEDBASED

POLYMECHS SUPREMACY ALSO SO BASED

Hi. Person who submitted both jesus/mary magdalene and now hamlet/ophelia. I love you. You are here to cause CHAOS and i for one applaud you for it. Can we kiss /j

[hms-no-fun]

Sarah, Do you hate Rose Lalonde? Not in like the heavy malicious way people associate with Andrew and his relationship with hussie but like, as a fan of godfeels for probably the wrong reasons (my autistic ass really likes the way you approach the character and also me when someone writes Dirk and doesn’t make him a irredeemable piece of shit and a active creep) something that’s stuck out to me reading your tumblr and thinking back on the story is that rose is, to me at least, one of the most unluckiest characters in godfeels, both from a writing and in character perspective,m.

she’s the first to display the kid’s transphobia and thereby the first to get reality checked by June (which, to be fair to both June as a character and your reason for that scene in your godfeels video, she deserved) and therefor the first forced to learn the lesson of “you can move on and continue being friends with people but still not forgive them for the shit they put you through” (which I will admit I might be wrong on) and I’m pretty sure the first one to die when June does the whole kill everyone (or at least everyone that’s considered gods) on earth c thing, and besides that, unless I’ve misremembered something, besides the first chapter of divergence syndrome, she doesn’t really do much until she gives her final message to kanaya and well, the shit all goes down.

I’m not a big big fan of rose Lalonde, but it just feels like there’s something like, there, like there’s something about rose that you’ve never agreed with, and thinking back on it I don’t hate it, but it feels like sometimes rose is a means to a end, which is what all characters are but I mean like, a means means to a end, “how do Segway into the beta kids transphobia of June” through Rose’s constant biased Psychoanalysis failing her in the worse way possible, “How to keep epigone in after Dirk’s absolute asskicking” possessing her corpse, “how to finally get Gerald’s halo out of the story” get her dead, “how do I pronounce death to all endgame ships” kill the lesser used part of the pair, it just, feels like there’s something there, not something outright malicious, but something just, there, like the reverse of the hussie Vriska stuff, creator’s Chew toy stuff.

I apologize for the rudeness this ask may give off, I do truely love godfeels and read up to date anything about it that gets released, this just has been negging the back of my mind for so long.

spoilers for godfeels 3 here but i guess that ship's kinda sailed if you read the question lmao

i don't hate Rose at all! i mean i think freudians are all cranks and it really bugs me how much mid-century and contemporary marxist theory is couched in freudian/jungian/lacanian bullshit, but that's not really got anything to do with Rose lmao. i can't say that i hate any of the characters in godfeels the way andrew seemed to hate, say, Jake English (though there *are* homestuck characters i dislike and wouldn't enjoy writing, which is why they're not in the fic). i'm of the mind that every character sucks in their own unique ways and that's precisely what makes fiction fun to read. that Rose doesn't have a ton of direct agency in the narrative just comes down to, in part, this being a story focused primarily on June. that i didn't really understand how to write Rose in gf1-2 certainly doesn't help. but it's also related to how i interpret her role as a Seer of Light.

her role in gf3 onwards is defined by the Epilogues, where she either needed to transfer her consciousness to a robot body that could contain her ultimate self before her physical body died, or otherwise exist in a universe untethered from canon where connection to her ultimate self is irrelevant. she's had visions of, presumably, a great deal of the events of chapter 8, and i think understood that VV's whole gambit (whether or not she knew it was VV specifically playing this game) was to split the difference between Candy and Meat by disconnecting from Homestuck canon while still maintaining existential relevance in the shadow of some other story.

a lot of the best narrative premonitions/prophecies, especially in Homestuck, use them for dramatic irony-- that is, by trying to avoid a projected future, you only end up creating it. classic macbeth shit. if there's anyone in this story who viscerally understands that vicious narratological cycle, it's Rose Lalonde. so rather than pushing back, warning her friends, trying to rally the troops, she instead accepts that her universe's survival requires sacrifice, namely Major Character Death.

in this way, her so-called suicide wind is an echo of Dirk's own suicide in Candy, albeit towards existentially opposite purposes. and in that sense it's an equally selfish act, because who knows! maybe they *could* have done something substantial to prepare for Epigone's coming if Rose had bothered to warn anyone! but such is the passive nihilism of our beloved Seer, whose death could never be anything less than a dramatic tragedy. this was, in fact, an exercise in absolute agency-- Rose chose to accept her fate rather than fight back against it, perhaps even vibed with how poetic it was to be decapitated by her own beloved wife.

all of this is very relevant to the future of godfeels-- i didn't put her at the center of a load-bearing polycule just to have her death be meaningless. :)