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#awesome :DD :))) 🥰!!
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I FINISHED EPISODE ONE!!
AND AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FIRST OF ALL SEBLOS MY BABEYS 😭😭😭😭😭❤️💔💔💔 I'M NOT DOING OKAY, OKAY??
Also 😭😭 Miss you Seb, Big Red, EJ, and Nini :'(( <3333
Excited to see at least some of you again soon though xd
Lowkey Mike is slaying this season :D so far anyway lol
He's just funny 🥰 xD
Anyway slay new hair Miss Jenn :))
And AAHHHH Rina are so cute oh my GOSH don't even talk to me :D LIKE THOSE FLASHBACKS???! AND IN EPISODE ONE TOO!!?!
I love them so much your honor 🥰🥰 also they are so silly <33 my little babeys
Yeeeah I forgot for a few seconds that Gina's mom is kinda intense lol, from what we've been told. And now we're seeing it xd. I get the need to focus for your Junior year since it's an important year and all but :( I hope you don't take too much of that pressure onto yourself Gina D: remember to have fun :) <3
LOL y'all I love Emmy so far xD she's amazing
Ashlyn and Maddox 👀 hm. Interesting 👀
I'm just gonna say what I said in the tags of my other post: everyone in that room (Kourtney's) was gay
I was joking about Kourtney's obsession with Dani but like xD y'all come on. Also Carlos WHAT was that sir LOL
Oh and by the way Carlos saying he respects the feud from a reality show plotline perspective is KILLING ME!! XDD! Like, killing me in a sending me way, but also killing me in a stabbing me through the heart way :')
Also since when couldn't Seb have social media 😭 xD but also also. Carlos lol. Go visit him xD. You know where he lives LOL
And! I'm totally not stressed about Kourtney with Dani asking about Ricky :'))) Not at all :')) XDD lol. This is gonna be stressful and wild <33 xD
Anyway, I find the director vs director thing kinda funny because like. They probably took over some rooms when they started filming at East High as well xDD. But anyway lol GO MISS JENN!! Rooting for her in that <33
And AYYYY THE OGS ARE BACK!!! AAAAHHHHH I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH :DDD!! Actor-characters and characters lol. Also them all clapping at Ryan having twins on the way xD. ALSO RYAN HAVING TWINS ON THE WAY?!?!! CONGRATS DUDE LOL!! AND AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH OF COURSE THE ICONIC CANON GAY RYAN REVEAL!!!! :'DDDD!! AND RANDOM PENTATONIX CAMEO LOL!
Anyway I love them thank you :') xD
And AAAHHHHH MY BABEYS ARE BEING BACKGROUND ACTORS :DDD!! WELL FEATURED EXTRAS :DDD!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR THEM 🥰🥰🥰❤️🥳!! They living the Miss Jenn life :). XD!
I love the security guy xDD those bits were amazing lol
Oh and Ricky asking his dad if he's threatened by Mack is HILARIOUS LOL. And speaking of Mack, GET AWAY FROM GINA!! Also poor girl loving him and him being rude :((. Still though hopefully she gets a few good experiences with him, besides him like flirting with him or something lol :).
Okay I know that there's a 99% chance they'll be fine but I am genuinely worried about Seblos xd. I'm still dealing with the disappointment that Joe's not in every episode and you expect me to make it through this?? And I know we get Over Again but like also. We get Over Again xdd. It's not the most NON CONCERNING song y'all xD. Still though, while I love the angst, I really hope this doesn't last long 😬. Well like, too long - because it would kill me, and because I deserve Seblos together content lol.
Also there were so many amazing moments throughout that I didn't mention but TRUST ME I loved all of them, and I'm looking forward to where the storylines go :D!!
And lastly, THE SONGS WERE SO GOOD!! I know we didn't get too many but they were so great y'all :D. Amazing 🥰🥰. Also Ricky and Gina are amazing at making songs <33. My lovelies :p 🥰❤️❤️. That song was so cute 😭❤️❤️🥰 :D. I love them so much :)). And Dani slayed her song too!! Anyway, yeah, they were all great :)).
But yeah, I love them all so much 🥰🥰🥳❤️❤️😭 (good crying) <3333!!
Y'all this is already starting out good :)) I am SO EXCITED for this entire season :DD!!
NOW ON TO EPISODE TWO!!!
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holylulusworld · 10 months
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Looking for some recommendations by you or your kind followers 🥰
Steve or Bucky mafia / mob or abo series
And Henry Cavill series (I've fallen into a big rabbit hole of lusting over that man lol)
I've read all of your stories so much Lulu, like Consolidation Bride is like my number 1 series. I reread it often sometimes when I walk my dog or when I'm moody and on my period😂.
Hi lovely. Aw, I'm happy someone loves Consolation Bride as much as I do. I'm tempted to write a sequel, I just don't know when.
Let's see, I will list the blogs coming to my mind in random order. I hope I don't forget half of the people I follow...
I highly recommend @angrythingstarlight's blog for Mafia AUs. She has wonderful Mafia AUs for Bucky.
@navybrat817 has great stories for Bucky & Steve & Henry's characters. Check her Bucky list for Mafia stories.
@kinanabinks has an awesome Mafia Bucky x Best Friend (fairy) series. You can find it here: MOB!BUCKY MASTERLIST
@jtargaryen18 has a wonderful Mafia Steve / arranged marriage story called His Inheritance (ongoing). I got it on my reading list.
@sinner-as-saint has all your little heart desires, including mafia AUs, A/B/O and so much more.
@biteofcherry has great a/b/o & mafia stories for Steve. I think some are dark, so check the warnings for triggers.
@smutsonian has this mafia Steve I just discovered and need to read.
@buckyalpine has a story called pretty little thing with Mob Bucky. It's on my reading list.
You are looking for Henry & his roles? Fear not. Look at @littlefreya's blog. Here's her "stories" masterlist. There is a drabbles masterlist in her bio too.
Do you need more Henry? Here you go: @viking-raider will help you out.
@waiting4inspiration has an Alpha Bucky series.
These are the ones coming to my mind atm. If anyone has stories for nonnie to read, please feel free to add them to his post. 😊
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rainbowsky · 10 months
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Happy BXG Day!! 🥳🐢💛.
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I have said this before, but I absolutely love this fandom. It's sweet, positive, fun and friendly, and there's always something exciting going on. Turtles are always busy! 🥰
I want to thank every one of you for helping to make this such a rewarding fandom. Whether you are an author, an artist, a translator (you all know I love translators!), a lurker, an asker, a reader, a blogger, a friend or just a good old fashioned clown, I appreciate you all so much!!! I especially want to thank everyone who has interacted with me over the past year - you've all been such great company.
I haven't had as much time over the past few months to make new posts and answer questions, but I read every question you send me and I stay on top of what's happening, and the number one thing that keeps me happy aside from GG and DD themselves, is all of the turtles out there who love GG and DD so much.
We have been so fortunate this year to get so much amazing content from GG and DD, and so much great candy. Even though there have been a few ups and downs, we've still managed to come out on top.
Thanks so much for being such an awesome fandom, and may GG and DD continue to thrive, love and support each other! ❤️.
For all those who have written me asking what BXG day is, it’s essentially ‘turtle birthday’, and it’s celebrated every year on September 5th. It is chosen for a couple of reasons:
It falls perfectly between DD’s birthday on 8/5 and GG’s birthday on 10/5.
GG and DD are believed to be 95% compatible, so 95 is a very significant number to turtles.
You might also find my masterlist post helpful. 💛.
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tripleglitchwriting · 5 months
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HELLOO ! I'm such a fan of your works ! The way you approach g/t dynamic is just *chef's kiss* ❤️❤️❤️
Anyways i wanted to ask what do you think about this Avian-humans AU.
Like instead of normal humans Avians live on planet Earth which are basically bi-pedal sentiet birds !!
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( i already made an OC for this au hihihihi )
It's basically a first contact au with language barrier and humans are Avians <3 also here are some questions i'm curious about ( you don't have to answer if you don't want to )🥰❤️❤️
1. Do you think you would be able to write a request for this one??
2. What bird would you choose for this au? :DD
3. What do you think Cybertronians would do with those soft fluffy-feathery Avians?
AHHHH HI MICHAELA!!!! I ALWAYS LOVE YOUR ART THANK YOU!!!!!
And your bird looks really cool!!!! I love the colors!!!
To answer your questions,
1. I’ve never written anything with a non-human protagonist (g/t wise) since it’s not really my thing, but honesty I’d try! I absolutely adore world building so looking into a world similar to earth where the dominant species are avians would be really interesting! With birds being very light and generally delicate and also incredibly varied in size, shape, and behavior, it would be super interesting to see how that could combine with transformers! I’m thinking about this now. Oh boy I’m thinking about this now.
2. Oh my god there are so many birds to choose from. Uh. Uh. Cardinal? I grew up in a place where they were relatively common and I always liked seeing them in my backyard, also I enjoy their symbolism.
3. It depends on the bot. I’d say generally they would think they weren’t sentient at all at first. It would certainly take some convincing for the poor birds to prove themselves if there weren’t buildings or avian-made things around. Even so, I think most decepticons would either ignore them or obliterate them immediately because, you know, decepticons. I think most Autobots would be like “oh awesome cool new alien life” but maybe not treat them as people if they didn’t know they were sentient.
Thank you for sending in an ask!!!
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thewillowtree3 · 5 months
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KORRA FITNESS- DAY 1!! ;DDDD!! ❤️💪🏽💪🏽-1/29/2024
Hey y’all!! I’m back!! ;DDDD!!❤️❤️❤️
It’s been a hella long time since I worked out so I wanted to get back into it lol. I SIGNED UP FOR THE GYM!! ;DDDD!!❤️❤️ so that’s hella awesome, I hella missed it haha. Soo, FIRST DAY GOING BACK TO THE GYM IN YEARS!! LETS FUCKING GOO!! ;DDD <33 ;DD <33 XDDDD!! ❤️❤️💪🏽💪🏽🏳️‍🌈😂🤣🙂🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️❤️❤️🧡💛💛💙💙💜🖤🌈☁️✨🔥🌟💪🏽💪🏽
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-Did shoulder presses, chest presses, back presses, tricep presses (girl idk there were hella machines LOOL)
-Bicep curls (;DDDD!! Hella missed these lol)
-bar curls :33 (;DDDD!!❤️❤️❤️ HELLA missed these too lol)
-Dip machine :33
3 sets of 10 for each of them :33
SO YEAH!! FIRST DAY DOWN AT THE GYM LETS FUCKING GOO!! ;DDDD!! ❤️💪🏽 I HELLA missed working out so IM SOO FUCKING EXCITED TO GET BACK TO IT!!
FIRST DAY OF KORRA FITNESS DOWN!! ;DDDD!!❤️❤️💪🏽LETS FUCKING GOOO!! ;DDD <33 ;DD <33 XDDDDD!!❤️❤️😀🥰😃😍🧐😕🤨😫😙😖🥳🤩🤓🤠🫶🏽👏🏽🙌🏽👍🏽👌🏽🤘🏽🤌🏽🤟🏽🖖🏽💪🏽🙏🏽🖐🏽👀👀🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️❤️❤️🧡💛💛💚💙🖤💜❣️💖🌈🌪🌟🔥❤️💪🏽
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scienceoftheidiot · 1 year
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗
I was also tagged by @royaidaydreams to do this, so thanks so, so much, to both of you 🥺❤️🥰
I've been trying to make a fic rec post for other people's fics for weeks and I find it quite hard to chose, so doing it for my own stuff 😅 is going to be quite hard too 😅
Let's try though - I didn't put original stuff on there, just fanfics. I have some of my original stuff on AO3 in English, though !
1. In the old Alexandria (Ripper Street)
Mimi comes back to London, a couple of years after the turn of the century.
This is the first fic I ever posted on AO3 (the older ones were posted after but dated to when they were written - and posted elsewhere). The Ripper Street finale had wrecked me, and I needed to give some softness to the survivors. Hence, this is only for people who have seen the whole 5 seasons (but please watch them. Please please).
2. Keep Afloat (Ripper Street)
Little flashbacks, mostly around Edmund, from before S1. Filling in the blanks with more misery ! Yay !!
It's not mentionned that I am forced to share only finished stories, right? 😅 But this is a collection of flashbacks, so more or less, each chapter can be read independently. And there's no end, since the end is the start of the show, so... It's one of these fics that I sometimes re read, and one of the few where I actually find what I wrote good. Special mention to the chapter between Edmund and Emily. (This is NOT. a feel good fic).
3. Snow, snow... (Daredevil (Karedevil))
Matt tries to carry on through a blizzard, but the snow and his mind wandering to old memories won't let him.
I wanted to put a DD fic in here, but I didn't know which one to chose. This one has many characters and bittersweet memories, and this is what I like.
4. Bro's Night Out (FMA)
Hughes is sent to East City for work, but decided to arrive early (or... very late...) to meet his friend. Who is working. A lot. And has no time for silly things. And doesn't hold his drink.
It's hard to chose in a fandom I'm currently deeply obsessed with, so I chose those one, because I think I got the banter right, and it was fun to write.
5. My own worst friend and my own closest enemy (FMA (Royai))
One circle, one Roy Mustang on each side, one accidental transmutation, one occasion to be humbled and learn.
This one is still ongoing but @qs63 and I are having such a blast writing it that it's already in my top 5. Even if people didn't like it (which they do !!! That's even more awesome, thanks to all who read !!), I would have put it there because I just love it and love all the brainstorming we're having over it. 🥰
Bonus :
All the hope that I lost, you have found (FMA (Royai))
This is a WIP and a BIG one. That I plan on finishing this summer.
When I published Everyone learns faster on fire , I thought I would not come back to this theme (Roy stays blind after the Promised Day). Exceeeeept... That first fic wasn't very realistic. So I took this premices again and turned them around. The Army wouldn't keep a blind officer, so Roy's dismissed. And as soon as I started writing that, the rest of the fic events just fell like dominos. In the end, that fic has Royai, politics, Ishval, Team Mustang, and stuff that I will not disclose there because spoilers. All of this of course swimming in lots and lots of angst - but not only. I try to have it balance with sweet and even funny (I hope) moments. I'm having a lot of fun writing it and I can't wait to finish it !
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nerdyneko6373 · 8 months
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Well hello there!!!! 💥
My my, I scrolled a little trouble your blog and you have amazing taste!!
Now I absolutely must let you know: you're awesome mate >:DD, and hope ya have a spectacular day 💥💥
- 💥🗞️
THAMKS YOUUUUU 🥰🥰🥰
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no u <33
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tim-shii · 1 year
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hai 🥰🥰🥰🥰 how are u timmy <33333
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hello val babe bae boo pookie 😍
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tim is doing great n doing awesome! how about u? :DD
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froggyrights · 2 years
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IT SYIUR BIRTHDAY? omg this is awesome…its charlie froggyrights day…hope u have lots of fun 🌟🌟🌟 u r awesome
Leooo :DD you're a sweetheart thank youuu 🥰🥰 you know what? it is charlie froggyrights day!! Everyone post c!dnf to celebrate!! 🥳🥳
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brick-a-doodle-do · 2 years
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Heyyoooooooo beloved!
Sorry for being absent, i was preparing for my graduation ceremony! And totally didn't almost trip in it!
But that's not important, 😜
Tiny workers au!
So since you have that massive list of awesome attractions, and various cc s in the au, how about the tinies and giants fav and most hated of the attractions?
Hmmmm also sorta same idea as shapeshifter ranboo, do you think there are like hunters or traffickers of tinies? Maayybbbee a hurt comfort idea of Wilbur saving Tommy in some way (I'm a firm stan in crimebois if it wasn't obvs by now😂)
Ohh and maybe what is the most illegal "contraband" the tinies try to smuggle into the park from their giant friends that the boss keeps confiscating, go crazy with this!
Missed doing asks! I hope all has been well🥰
hii!! >:DD
nono don't apologize ik you have a life!! and :000 that is amazing!! excusing you almost tripping, i'm so happy for you!
that is so important i am always happy to hear about your life too!! i talk to much about me with these asks dsjbjdgsdnf
mm yes beloved au >:]]
i don't do this like ever but i'm skipping over this question! but i have a good explanation and that is i am planning on making a huge masterpost for this au seeing as writing it as a multi-chapter story might be difficult, and in said masterpost i'm going to be going over this exact thing with each of the regulars & the employees :)
okay so this is a cool question cause i've been so caught up in fluff for this au that angst totally slipped my mind!!
i'm going kinda deep into backstory here so bear with me as i too figure out the worldbuilding to this au as i'm writing :)
the park is pretty much the only location in the world that has tinies working as semi-regular people. a lot of the population leave the species alone, and a good majority of people don't even know they exist. so the park definitely breaks a lot of social norms that've slowly just built up naturally. while there are no laws just yet against using tinies for labor and you can technically do whatever you want with them, there are certainly organizations that are against the idea of the park.
especially after it opened, a handful of large corporations started looking into using tinies. a few decided against it while others sealed the deal.
it's kind of like with my spy au where under most moral circumstances, the borrower(s) at hand have a choice: stay or go. and more often than not---with a little bit of manipulative persuasion, the borrower goes.
so as far as traffickers go and hunters go, if (sorry for any typos beyond this point my friend's dog is literally shoving her face onto my keyboard while i type lmao) there is any it'd most likely be from someone who's trying to save them--to bring them "back to where they belong" but like in a /pos way sdhdghafsdnf
but if written from the opposite pov this could totally be seen as a /neg thing, therefore angst has presented itself to the ideas table :D
mm have this scenario:
a few month's after wilbur's first meeting with tommy--they're beyond comfortable with each other and have easily reached the "brother" stage--a small group comes and organizes a protest against the park just a bit away from the front gates, where the golfing is located. (in my mind you enter the park, walk a 'lil bit, and you're there but there's work to be done !!) beeduo has gone to take a walk because ranboo was on edge basically the entire morning. so that left tommy. alone. with his thoughts and the yells of dozens of humans outside yelling god knows what.
he stays there for what feels like hours before he hears an ever-so-loud knock echo around his hollow home. tommy dreads whoever it is, but soothes immediately at the sound of wilbur's voice calling out gently to him.
(ps. wilbur takes tommy home after that and they stay there for a few days :D just too lazy to write that and i know if i do this ask would be way too long)
hdhsfjdsgjdnf yep i've noticed loll but dw, crimebois are very beloved to me as well so answering these are a blast >:DD
hmm this is a hard one! i feel like tommy'd just try to bring back a lot of coke but his boss says that's too much energy for him and he'd get another dozen complaints filed against him instantly. tubbo'd also try to befriend and take care of bees lol
but i mean as for stuff that's actually illegal and can't be found anywhere inside the park and they'd get into real trouble if ever found with it, i can't think of anything !! D:
jeez this is terrible i've never had an idea come to a stop before >:v
a aha just thought of smth lmaoo (like 10 seconds later irl)
okay so like yk catnip n shit? what about that but for borrowers. cause weed may be like too strong for a borrowers system (no don't make me get into biology for this au just yet) so there's a specific plant that borrower's have used for centuries. now this isn't exactly original and i can definitely think of better things but c'monnn
imagine techno, after hearing about it from wilbur, tending to a small garden of it just for the borrowers :( /pos
i love soft techno this is just an excuse to make him exist in this au /hj
and i mean if the boss ever found that he'd get pissed cause yk they're supposed to be good employee's if they're going to live on his property and eat his food blah blah blah yk the dad talk,,,,
also also also i was just abt to post this when i got the idea of this:
tw for mention of vore & fatal vore (fatal vore will not happen in this au dw)
another thing that they'd absolutely get yelled at for is like imagine smth to help with noms? i actually forgot how i set up noms for this au but i'm all for updating the worldbuilding so now it's official that a tiny can comfortably be stored in a human's storage for up to about two-four hours before it'll get uncomfortable and even lethal.
a human's storage is extremely small and just barely has enough room to house two four-inch-borrowers, like it's tight and narrow asf. so maybe there's like a black-market type item where it's like some type of drink that makes the borrower more comfortable? maybe it relaxes the tinies mind and messes w smth in their body that makes staying inside a storage for longer than the suggested time without like yk dying
all is well here, hope it is the same there!! <''3 can't wait to hear from you more :D (but still don't force urself to ask things just wait till u have the time to. i've got the patience for it :])
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AAH promo time 😬😬
OHHH NOOOO
Wait he better not blame TK for this :O >:OO
Not mad at Carlos mad at the writers XDD
That better get sorted before he leaves
Oh nooo 😭😭 Carlossss my poor boy :'(((
Themm <33
OPE oh no a body :o :(( 😬😬
I don't think it will be
😬😬😬 hey 126 :'))
That crying smiley's for me trying to smile xdd
Ahh okay so Owen's fine too that's good lol
We know he ain't kidnapped if he's here XD
AAAHHHHH
Nah there's no way
😭😭😭 Oh NOOOO Carlosss 😭
Nah nah she gotta be alive she gotta be xdd
I don't think that's her <33
It BETTER NOT BE anyway >:((((
A H okay xddd
I live in fear :')
That's the last of my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .
REVIEW
I absolutely LOVED this episode!!! I thought it was amazing :DD. It was super funny lol, but it had some really great heartfelt moments throughout too! And some other stuff too, like drama o.o 👀👀. It's 40 minutes later since I was catching up on my liveblogging and I'm STILL freaking out lol. I was heating up some food and I was literally like "I am having so many thoughts about blorbos" while staring hauntedly in the distance XDD.
Lol, anyways, time for the individual bits!
I was missing Paul, Mateo, and Marjan this episode 😭😭. Ever since the beginning lol (not like they were missing which they were but I mean I miss them xD) - I don't think we saw them once after that call XDD. But, hey, at least they were awesome during the short time we did get to see them :D. The rescue was really cool!! With Marjan of course being awesome lol. And good on Paul for finding the route!! And Mateo, I love you 🥰. Lol, I don't think he did anything specific, sorry bud XD. Anyway, yeah, they're my babeys and I love them :)).
Same for Nancy - I love her lol. But, at least we got to see more of her this episode :D. Than the others lol - not bc her over them or whatever but yk. I mean, it was still only one scene, but it was basically two, so it was long, and she spoke a lot more than the others xD. Anyway lol, she is of course an icon 🥰🥰. We got her and TK siblings content :DD; amazing as always. And, we got her and Tommy content!!! Also amazing as always :DD. Her making fun of Tommy for this whole situation is the funniest thing ever XDD.
Grace and Judd!! My lovelies 🥰🥰. I love Grace trying to get Tommy to let herself have this, but also for supporting her either way. And giving her a little nudge when she treated the poor guy like that XDD. Plus, in her calls, she was of course amazing :)). She was, as always, an icon <333. Also I love how Judd was just there lol, at the dinner XD. Man was just vibing, had no idea what was going on (not that he knew it) and he did not care lol (though again, he didn't know XD). Amazing lol, an icon <33. And of course for the rest of the time too 🥰🥰.
Plus, AAAH, Charlie sighting!!! My little girl 🥰🥰🥰. Her <333, your honor :'DDD :)) ❤️❤️❤️. I love them (their family) so much :')) <3333.
Anyway, Tommy! And the reverend guy lol. I should really know his name xdd. Anyway XD! Their scenes were HILARIOUS lol! I was just dying this whole episode XD (and at some bits from the drama). Plus, her conversation with Owen? Pure gold, lol. Anyway, it was fun seeing her off-kilter lol :). We only really see it concerning her love life, and I think it's fun :D. And clearly, funny XD. But I think her conflict over the whole situation was completely valid - that's something kinda crazy XD. I'm glad she went with it in the end though :)). Even if she invited the poor man over for a group dinner under false pretenses XD. This poor guy lol. But, AAHHHH THAT KISS!!! THEY KISSED!!! :DDDDD Good for them :)). I'm really interested to see where their relationship goes in the future! I think it'll be a fun journey to watch :D.
And can I just say again that I'm so glad we got rid of Julius 😭😭😭. XD As a love interest, that is. Although imagine if he shows up at some point and it's awkward- o.o . Hmmm, interesting 👀👀. Anyway, lol.
Owen timeee!! I really enjoyed his plot this episode! It almost had some really hilarious moments XD. Just a second ago I was thinking about how funny the episode was and somehow I completely forgot about him for a second lol. Anyway, this plot is really interesting!! I really think Sergeant O'Brien's undercover. They like misdirects and what not (apparent from that promo - I ain't believing that's Iris XDD), and I just think they wouldn't throw this in here. Plus, he covered for Owen, he just didn't want him coming back. But hey, they also like drama lol, so who knows! It's certainly interesting, though 👀. Anyway, I'm nervous for where this is gonna go, and Owen 😬😬. I mean I'm sure he'll be fine, but yk, I guess how everything's gonna down with him wrapped up in this lol. I definitely think it's gonna be interesting, and he's not gonna stop trying to stop them - be that by request of the FBI or not. Also, I'm just wondering where O'Brien took him 👀. I was kinda joking to myself that imagine he goes missing as well as Iris XD (while I was talking about O'Brien saying let's go when catching up on my liveblog lol, so I'd already seen the ending), but then I remembered that he's in the promo. Given said promo though, it looks like we'll be picking right up after the end of this episode, so I wouldn't be surprised if we get a scene near the beginning between Owen and O'Brien, wherever he took him. Idk though! Also, OWENNN STOP MAKING ENEMIESSS 😭😭 XDD. Bro walks in as undercover and calls people Nazis lol - like I respect it, but man, you're on a secret mission xD. Also "as undercover" is kinda a weird way to say it but idk it kinda makes sense so we're going with it xD. Anyway, lol!
Now, of course:
TK and Carlos :DD - and Iris, of course :). If you'll excuse me, ahem, AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! XDD. Y'all how dare they do this to me 😭😭😭😭. The DRAMA this episode!! Though lowkey I loved it lol. The drama, but also the plotline and episode as a whole xD. Anyway, let's go in chronological order here lol - TK doing the rescue with Marjan 🥰🥰🥰. Amazing, 10/10 lol. But genuinely, I thought that was really cool :D. AAAAHHHHHHHH that scene with Iris! Oh and of course TK stressing beforehand (😭 <3 my heart - just like Carlos is TK's hAURGH-), them being sweet 🥰🥰🥰, and Carlos's joke lol. We wanted TK to make those jokes but I'll definitely take Carlos lol - I didn't think he would XD. But I do think he was mostly trying to make TK laugh lol. Not quite accomplished but hey, he tried XD. Presumably lol. Anyway! Back to the scene with Iris lol. It was. H I L A R I O U S XDDD. Dude, possibly the funniest of the entire episode lol. Maaaaybe Tommy and what's his face talking at the station, or her asking Owen for help, but idk lol XD. Anyway, I've said most of my thoughts on the first half of this scene already because of the promo, but I'll say them here - especially now that we have everything xD. No, I don't think Iris was out of line with the questioning; we knew she was blunt and so did they, it may have come off as a bit rude but she wasn't trying to be. And also, just- Carlos supporting TK :'D. He loves Iris, obviously, and he wasn't against her or anything, but those little looks of reassurance, saying "Yes, don't worry about it, it's okay" :'))). Amazing <3. The tarlos body language and expressions in that scene was just 😭😭. Amazing, thank you Ronen and Rafa :'DDD. Continuing on! AGH I wish Iris would've been more clear about the papers, but I'm assuming she didn't know she was gonna go with annulment yet. Still 😑. It was funny though, I'll give her that xD. But tarlos going :DDD!! And then :D? And then -o- XDDD amazing lol. Also Carlos saying that they love each other and that's all that matters - stop 😭😭❤️❤️❤️. And not that I don't want them to get married, far from it, but Iris is kinda right in that they basically already are. Still, though, everything's gonna change for me when they get married 🥰🥰🥰. Not that anything actually will but idk, it's just different XDD. When they want to get married, anyway lol. But yeah, amazing scene 🥰🥰🥰.
Okay I was gonna try and hurry this up but clearly that's not happening XD. I just wanna get through everything without it being TOO long, lol. But, eh, whatever, let's just roll with it xD. Now, I'd already seen it mentioned in an interview, but I love love LOOOVED what TK said about getting legally married. He's so right - they (we) fought for rights for so long, and he definitely wants everyone to know that they did, and that he and Carlos got married :'DDD. It's also super sweet :'))). And of course, love him and Nancy <3. Especially since she suggested talking to Iris :p - because I definitely don't think it's TK's fault she went missing XD. And it did bring about the angst of knowing what she meant with exactly what she expected, but otherwise it would've been later angst or just the unknown, and this meant that we found out about the annulment sooner :DDD!! Bc I'm sure she would've told them eventually, she had to XD. Anyway, TK being so adamant about his love for Carlos - STOPPPP I'M DEAD 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️. It was just so amazing :'D. Like I said, they're giving us plenty of dramatic love declarations, and I think it's making up for the storyline /hj /lh XDDD. But seriously, I love them <33. The declarations, but also Tarlos :D. And TK saying "he's mine" 👀👀👀. Aight, I see you XDD. And even though obviously Iris isn't jealous or anything (thank GOODNESS, I would've hated that), we love to see it :DDD. I think he deserved it 😌😌. And it was iconic too, lol. Plus, I saw it on the subtitles and I was like o.o but I did NOT expect it to be that intense lol - TK said it even more intensely than I thought he would, and it was awesome lol xD :D >:D. Anyway, AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH AN ANNULMENT 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🎉🎊🎊. THANK GOODNESS!!!! And hey, now all the people who've been wondering why it hasn't been can be satisfied lol. It was just for the drama XD. But like, AAAHHHH!!! A) we don't have to go through the drama (just like all that it involves) of a divorce, and B) aGH yes, TK deserves to be Carlos's first and last husband 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️. That is amazing :'))). Also, of course, it's great that that was the reason she wouldn't sign lol. But you could've said it earlier girl XDD. Jk lol, I know it was for the drama and I can respect that lol - I'm the one watching the drama show, after all xD. But anyway! YESSSSSSSS!!! Also that hug was so cute 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰. Now xdd. The angsty, dreaded bit lol (not really, just kinda 😭😭 now the angstttt agh feelings lol). Then of course, TK had to ask what she meant 😭😭😭 xD. I mean, I'd rather this then it just be left forever lol, unknown, or that it comes out later, but still xD. And like TK's face and his voice in that scene 😭😭😭. AGH I don't deserve it xdd. It was nice that Iris said they were more :'D, and life long project is KINDA sweet, but not really 😭, girl, wrong words XDDD 😭😭😭.
And then of course, that brings us to that last scene with TK and Carlos. Though, not the last one of one of them lol - we'll be there in a minute xD. Finally, we're back to Carlos lol - no offense TK, it's just been a hot minute. I was like "wait I'm not talking about Carlos at all in the tarlos section, not for a while anyway" lol. Anyway! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. Y'all that S C E N E!!! I did not deserve that 😭😭. I did not come here to be ATTACKED, have angst about my boys thrown in my face like that 😭😭. Luckily it wasn't really and "I relate" kind of attacked, but still lol. Anyway, TK SAYING MAYBE THIS MARRIAGE IS A BAD IDEA 😭😭😭❤️. Sir how dare you xdd. I don't deserve that lol /lh. And Carlos's "That surprised me." XDD. But seriously, the domesticity 🥰🥰🥰🥰. With TK looking like the most heartbroken man ever in the foreground xdd. Kinda ruining my vibe, man XDDD, lol /j. Anyway, it was such a good scene 😭😭😭😭. The vulnerability, the comfort <333. Them and their weird sitting positions xD. I do wish we saw a bit more of a conversation, but having just re-watched it to see what I thought, I'm feeling better about it :). I still would've liked it little more, but TK did seem to be feeling better by the end :)). And I feel like "You're a hot mess. But you're my hot mess" is kinda proving that Carlos doesn't see him as a project - he loves TK, hot mess and all, and isn't trying to fix him. Like I said, I do think it could've been a bit better (and we may see a bit more about it in the future, but I doubt next episode with everything going on, and idk about the likelihood after that - still, it's possible), but I really loved the scene, so I can move past it :D. Oh and also, totally different times, but "He's mine" and "You're my hot mess" 😌😌😌👀. Cinematic parallels XD. Anyway, Carlos saying "the day I met you" 😭😭😭 :')) I knew it <333. I suspected he would say that lol. And also those KISSES AAAGH!! They were so tender and sweeeet 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍. And TK's little "Shut up" and "I hate you" xddd, he is adorable your honor <333. Also Carlos's little "yeah" as he leaned in to kiss TK again reminded me of 3x04 🥰. And about the conversation itself, I like how Carlos explained it - he didn't marry Iris because she was broken (not that she was showing signs of schizophrenia at that point - which I only say because TK specified, and I'm glad he did so that Carlos could point that out. It's something I feel like needed to be said), he married her because he was. Or. thought he was, anyway - and he found out he wasn't when he met TK. Like. Y'all. 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️. That is the most adorable heartwarming thing xdd. Also, it's another thing that's actually answering TK - Carlos wasn't broken, and neither is TK. I only fully registered that as I was writing this lol xD. But yeah, I love that :')). Anyway, then the CALLLL AHHHHHHH 😭😭😭. By the way I think TK starts looking slightly concerned there (I think so, you can just barely see it - I might judt be reading into things though lol XD maybe it's just the remnants of his sad boy face xDD), which just- augh 😭❤️. Oh, also, I figured while watching that Carlos would figure out or ask (or both if TK was cagey lol) what brought this on, and I was s bit confused when he didn't. But, having seen the promo, I now see it's for the drama :D lol. It wasn't strictly necessary he realize there, but it does make room for the drama of him finding out/figuring it out (again, probably a mix, unless they find out she was seen with a man who'd never been at her place of work before earlier in the day lol, and had a description or something XD - as in Carlos might figure it out lol) next episode :). So, it would've been easier now, but even though I'll probably scream and shake and throw up and die, I love me some angst so I'm glad we get it next time :D. Hey, at least we get to see it lol. I'll take that with Tarlos XDD (not that they're particularly bad about that, show wise I mean, but yk lol. I'm pretty much that way with any of my ships XD). Anyway, I loved this scene <333. It was adorable 🥰🥰🥰🥰.
Lastly, the final scene 😬. AAAHHHHHH IRIS IS MISSING!! Also how dare he call her Carlos's wife 😤. Lol, I'm mostly joking xD. Too bad they couldn't have been the annulment papers left in there, though xd. Also, Carlos just looks in shock this whole scene 😭😭😭. Or most of it, anyway. And the way he looks up immediately when that guy said Iris's name - :((((. She doesn't deserve this 😭😭. And he doesn't either :'((. I hope she's okay <333. Anyway! I have absolutely no idea as to who took her, but given that in the promo we saw Carlos carrying someone while in uniform and it might have been Iris (I don't remember but I think some people said it was), and we've also seen him get hit over the head, I'm wondering if whoever it was gets Carlos but Iris is kept somewhere else. Idk! I'm also wondering if they specifically have a fridge against Iris or they were just kidnapping people ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠∵⁠ ⁠)⁠┌. Although I will say, Carlos's comment made me think: "She used to be one of them". Iris's case will probably not be taken too seriously since she has a history of mental illness and disappearance. That would add extra reasoning to why Carlos is immediately going to search for her - there's a good chance she's not very high on the priority list. And speaking of a history of mental illness - she was taken without her meds, most likely. So, if she, for example, were the one to hit Carlos, I wouldn't be surprised. Or at least, it would make sense. Not only would (I imagine) her schizophrenia symptoms would return, but it is Not a good idea to go off meds suddenly. So, idk! It'll certainly be interesting though :O.
But yeah, it was heartbreaking 😭😭😭💔💔. I imagine next time will be even worse xd. Even just in the beginning, lol, from Carlos - the promo definitely makes it seem that way xD. Speaking of the promo, I think he may half-blame TK in the heat of the moment, but TK will realize it's just because Carlos is scared and emotional, and that they'll leave that behind before Carlos leaves. Also, since that's almost definitely the same night as the end of this episode, Ronen saying that still was Episode 3 and not Episode 2 makes more sense now xD. I was like "huh, yeah, Carlos can repeat shirts I guess lol", even though the next episode would be kinda soon, but this makes sense XD. I may have vaguely considered that they were just super close together in time, but eh lol, I didn't think about it for that long xD. Anyway, I loved TK and Carlos this episode :DDDDD :')))) 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍. Also Iris 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️. Loved her too :DD. And all three of them together - that was fun lol :D. Anyway, t h e m <333.
Overall, I absolutely loved this episode!! I thought it was really great, and it was just SO FUNNY XDD. But, it definitely had a lot of drama too! Overall just a really eventful and good episode :). I did miss seeing more of the 126, but I'm sure we'll see more of them next time :). Though I imagine it'll be largely focused on Iris, with maybe some of Owen's storyline. Still, we know they're there for the rescue (or whatever you would call it)! Anyway, the calls (call?) today were amazing :D. I just checked, it was only the one xD. Besides Grace's side of that 9-1-1 call lol. But, to be fair, it (the real call) was 10 minutes long, so it makes sense that there was only one xD. Anyway, it was cool :DDD. Plus, Marjan being lowered from a helicopter!!! It was cool, and bringing in O'Brien (plus him owing Owen a drink) set it up nicely for him to show up at the Honor Dog's bar. Well played! Anyway, all the storylines were amazing, and I'm excited to see where they lead :). I'm also very scared for next episode! Less of an immediate conflict thing, more just :(( and I hope Iris is gonna be okay. She better be, lol xD. But yeah, I'm a little nervous for the tarlos bit at presumably the beginning, but I don't think it'll be too bad. Mostly when I say I'm scared I just mean I'm tense and stressed, about next episode but also the situation as a whole lol. Still, I think it's gonna be amazing!!
So, yeah! I really loved this episode. It was so funny, which balanced the drama. I'm super interested in seeing what happens next! This has been my review of. . .
9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 2: The New Hot Mess
It was so good! I'm really excited for the next one, if a bit scared. I'll be back next time for my review of. . .
9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 3: Cry Wolf
See you next week!
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lillonvia · 7 months
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Hello! Your banner for Mortal Injury is awesome! Great work 💖
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HIII :DD thank u sm!!! it took me a little while to get it the way i wanted but it still worked out nicely in the end 🥰
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hwanwooyoung · 2 years
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merry christmas & happy holidays lou!!  ↪ to @levhanter from santawoongie 🎅
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Ty, you also made my day
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I'm very sensitive stawp ❤️👄❤️
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elbdot · 2 years
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I love how you draw oricorio it makes me happy :D
AWWWW I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT I love my bouncy lil' bird so much, she makes me happy too ;w;
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I even have the Chibbi-Pom Pom Oricorio plush, it's super cute :D Hope they'll release another one one day with the "sitting cuties"-plush series when they cover Gen 7, but that'll be faaar away in the future ;w;
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LOOK AT THAT SWEET BLING SHE GOT, I got Guzma's necklace as a present by a dear follower of mine, @lovepaperhearts 🥰 Thanks again for the awesome gift!!! :DD
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Dear Fucking Diary: Entry the 8th - The Long Weekend
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Pairings: Dean x Fem!OFC (Daisy)
Explicit 18 +/Warnings: None. Some kissing and implied smut. Brief mentions of an abusive relationship. Some angst. Lots of fluff.
Word Count: 4,358
DFD: Series Masterlist
Series Summary: I’ve been tasked with writing in this fucking diary like a some teenage girl. It sucks, but who else am I going to talk to about the incredible hottie who lives next door?
Chapter Summary: 8th Entry: Technically this is the 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, 13th, and 14th entry. It was a tough weekend okay! But my week is looking up!
A/N:  This series has popped into my head from out of nowhere. It was supposed to be a whole other thing, but then it just morphed into this. (Cause I needed more series to work on! 🙄😄) Hope you like it, I should be releasing a new entry every few days, and I think there will be about 7 or 8 entries 9 or 10 entries 8 entries and an epilogue. The first entry is short and sweet, but most of the others will range between 1000 and 3000 5000 words. Thanks everyone!! 🥰
A/N 2: So, this is the final entry in this series, excluding the epilogue which I will post by the end of the week. I hope you enjoy it and the epilogue to come. It's possible I may write some drabbles about Dean and Daisy in the future. I like them. 😁
The awesome divider at the bottom is created by @talesmaniac89
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So, it's Friday night, didn't hear from him all day. But I mean, that's normal, he had to work, I had to work. I JUST saw him this morning. I mean, whatever. It's fine. He'll probably text tomorrow. I'll write again later.
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-
Saturday night now. I haven't talked to him since he dropped me off at my apartment yesterday morning. It's about ten o'clock. I'm going to bed now.
This is good, though, right? I mean, it's not like I want him to be all clingy or stalker-ish. I had enough of that crap with the previous asshole. So. No. This is good. No clinging, no demanding, no - anything.
-
-
So, I guess I have my answer
I guess I was just stupid
I feel like I'm gonna
I don't want to write about this.
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But shit! Writing here has been really helpful so - what the hell!
It's like two in the morning. I couldn't sleep earlier, so I tried painting. I think I did some decent work actually. This latest painting is all sharp edges and shades of green. I can't imagine why. But I like it.
Anyway, about twenty minutes ago I heard loud banging and voices in the hall, coming from the direction of Dean's apartment. I told myself it was none of my business even as I was quietly opening my door and peeking out.
Dean was leaning against the wall while a tall, gorgeous, leggy blonde used his keys to open the door.
He was dressed nicely, in suit pants and a white dress shirt and tie. But the tie was loosened and his crisp, white, button down was all rumpled and only partially tucked in.
Did the blonde untuck it? I wondered.
Then he threw his arm around her shoulders and he seemed a little tipsy as he leaned in toward her.
"...just so beautiful." I could hear him say in the same awed voice he'd used with me.
He stumbled forward a little and the blonde giggled under his weight and pulled him into the apartment, shutting the door behind them.
And since then I've just been sitting here thinking what a fucking idiot I am.
I mean, mooning over him and telling myself I was in love, and thinking that maybe we had some kind of future.
I mean Jesus Christ, Daisy.
It wasn't like he hid things from me! I knew what kind of "dating life" he enjoyed. He didn't explicitly say,
"This is a one time thing."
because he probably assumed I would figure it out.
But no. Not me. Guy sleeps with me one time, and I get all swoony and romantic, and stupid. I blame you for that a little, DD. You might be making me think I'm an actual teenager again.
Well, in the real, adult world, hot guys fuck you and forget you. Fucking Lois. But she was probably right. Why would he stay with his frumpy, needy neighbor when he could move on to the next hot blonde.
I was a good time. That was it.
I don't wanna write anymore.
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So, he called me yesterday which was Sunday, and texted too. The text just said:
Hey, hope your weekend's going good.
I didn't answer the phone or text back. I don't know what to say. He's probably just trying to ensure things aren't gonna be weird in the hallway from now on.
Or who knows, maybe he couldn't find the next blonde, or redhead, or whatever and just thought, well hell, easy access right next door.
Either way I'm taking off for Dr. Hailey's right away, she's making up our last missed appointment before I start work. I'm gonna tell her about everything and listen to her tell me how stupid it was to rush into something physical with someone.
It's not gonna be fun!
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Well, it definitely wasn't fun, but it was really enlightening. I'm writing quick while I'm on my break at work.
So, basically when I told her about Dean and asked her what she thought, Dr. Hailey said this:
It was your choice to make, whether or not to pursue a sexual relationship with your neighbor, and I can't tell you whether it was a good choice or a bad one. It's not my place.
You're a grown woman and you are the only one who can know your body and your own sexual needs, therefore you have to take responsibility for your actions and decide what they mean for you.
If you feel like the night is a regret, figure out why you feel that way, and don't make the same mistake in the future. If you feel like you are satisfied that it was a good night, a good time with no future, then accept that and move on.
But if you believe that your feelings for him are more than physical, more than what can be explored and enjoyed in one night, then decide whether or not to pursue something further - whether that be an actual relationship, or simply a friends with benefits arrangement.
I couldn't believe my quiet, reserved, has to be in her mid-sixties, therapist actually told me friends with benefits was a viable option. I thought she was gonna be all judgey. Or tell me my choices were made by my hormones alone and were therefore, stupid.
I mean, not in so many words, of course, but you know, whatever that translates to in doctor-speak.
But if I'm being honest, (and I've certainly managed to be that, here in these pages) Dr. Hailey is pretty great, actually.
And completely right.
I need to stop acting like a petulant kid or some kind of woman who's been wronged. Dean didn't promise me anything; he doesn't owe me any kind of loyalty. We made absolutely no declarations of any kind and he's perfectly allowed to go out and bring home as many other women as he chooses.
I'll just invest in noise cancelling headphones. Or move out.
Shit. Okay, truth. It's gonna suck to see him waltzing in and out with all those lucky women.
Because even though he didn't make any promises that I can hold him to, I was so sure that our night together meant something more than just good sex. To both of us. I felt connected to him in a way I had never felt with anyone before.
But I was probably just being naïve.
And I was being a jerk not responding to his text. I mean, he was just trying to be friendly. Or, if he was reaching out to see if I'd be interested in round 2, could I really blame him? Maybe he's thinking about a friends with benefits thing too.
Here's the thing - I definitely want a round 2, but FFS, the first round sent me into three days of pouting and staring at my phone. I don't know if I could manage a friends with benefits thing because...I don't wanna be friends.
Oh shit! Don is scowling at me, my break's over!
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-
Well, this day ended a hell of a lot better than it started. This might be a long entry, but well...
Okay, so, this evening I came home from work and Dean was standing by his door.
I smiled at him and he smiled back, both of us surprised and awkward.
"Hey." I said, as I moved passed him, walking toward my door.
"Hey, wait." He said and I stopped and faced him God, he looked fantastic. Unsurprisingly. He was wearing black jeans and a gray sweater. He looked so cozy I just wanted to snuggle him.
"I just..." He trailed off and then rubbed the back of his neck. "I called yesterday, I don't know if..."
Before he could finish what he was saying, the same blonde from Saturday night walked out of his apartment.
In spite of all my earlier plans to be totally cool with whatever Dean wanted to do - I was gonna be light and breezy - I felt a white hot jab of jealousy as I looked up into her beautiful face and bright smile.
"Oh, hi." She said, kindly. And I felt myself give an incredibly rigid smile back.
"Hi." I tried to unclench my jaw, but it didn't really work and the word still came out through gritted teeth.
Dean frowned a little and I kicked myself. Jesus, talk about NOT being cool.
I tried harder to unfreeze my smile.
Dean pointed toward me in introduction. "Jess, this is my neighbor Daisy. Daisy, this is my soon to be sister-in-law, Jessica."
His words took a second to penetrate my brain and I just repeated stupidly, "Sister-in-law?"
Dean smiled a little knowingly and nodded. "Yeah, they flew in Friday afternoon to celebrate the engagement. They've been staying with me."
Before he could continue a giant of a man came out of the apartment door carrying one suitcase and wheeling another.
"Jesus Jess," he said to his fiancé, "you should have brought another suitcase for all the crap you bought."
He noticed me then. "Oh, hi!"
Dean did the introductions again. "Sam, this is my neighbor, Daisy." He nodded at Sam. "And Daisy, this is my little brother, Sam."
Sam smiled deeply showing adorable dimples. "Oh, wow! You're Daisy?"
I nodded. "Oh, wow! You're his 'little' brother?" I asked with finger quotes.
They all chuckled.
"Yeah," Sam answered, "I outgrew the shrimp over here by the time I was sixteen."
Dean casually punched his brother in the arm and I winced at the force behind it but Sam just laughed.
"He's still sensitive about it." He smiled and I could see a hint of mischief enter his expression.
"It's so great to finally meet you. You're all we heard about all weekend."
Another, harder punch connected with Sam's arm but he continued without seeming to notice.
"We dragged him out for an impromptu celebration slash karaoke night on Saturday, but he was no fun cause all he kept talking about was his incredibly gorgeous neighbor he'd gone out with the other night."
Dean punched him again and Sam laughed.
Jess laughed gently too and also couldn't seem to stop herself from teasing her brother-in-law-to-be.
"Yes, just hours and hours of, 'You know, Daisy said this and Daisy said that.' and over and over again, 'God, she's so beautiful.' That's all he kept saying, all night." She lowered her voice to an approximation of Dean's deep tone. "Jess, seriously...just so beautiful."
Dean groaned. "Oh, come on, you're just being cruel 'cause you know I won't punch you."
I recognized the words I'd overheard on Saturday night and my heart leapt. He had been talking about me. I couldn't keep the smile from my face. Hell, I knew I was beaming, even if I was also blushing almost as brightly as Dean.
Jess smiled brightly at me and put a hand to her mouth like she was confiding a secret. "He was right, by the way. I think you two make an adorable couple."
Dean spoke loudly without looking at either Sam or Jess. "Okay, well, way you two go! Don't wanna miss your flight home."
They laughed at his none-too-subtle dismissal and Sam pulled him into a hug. Dean hugged him back, thumping him on the back, before turning to give Jess a decidedly gentler hug.
"Safe flight." He said squeezing Jess into his side and slapping Sam on the back again.
I waved to them both. "It was so nice to meet you. Congratulations!"
They waved and said their goodbyes and Dean and I were left standing awkwardly in the hall.
He smiled at me and nodded toward my apartment. "Could I, uh...could I come in for a minute?"
"Yeah." I hurried over to my door and let us both in to my apartment.
As I took off my coat, Dean approached my kitchen table and the painting I'd put there to dry. It was a kind of mountain landscape in a vaguely post-impressionist style.
It was also, all a reaction to him and what I felt about him while I was painting.
"Wow!" He said with genuine appreciation in his voice. "This is beautiful." He noticed the signature at the bottom, a little daisy flower.
His eyes were wide when he looked back at me. "You did this?"
I nodded, half wishing I'd put the thing in the closet with all my others. I'd never let anyone see my work and it felt a little like being naked in front of him again.
I'd painted and drawn when I was a kid and all through high school. But I stopped, writing it off as frivolous and not a viable career.
I'd only taken it up again after I left The Monster behind.
"Wow!" Dean shook his head again as he looked back at the painting, tilting his head.
"It's...I don't know...like something wild. It's almost angry, like the angles of the lines, but it's full of these calm, soothing colors too. That probably doesn't make any sense. It's just a really amazing combination."
I shook my head. "No, it makes sense. Do you know a lot about art?"
He smiled. "I know nothing about art." He said, repeating what I'd said about cars. "But I know it's pretty."
He shook his head. "No, beautiful."
I smiled, accepting his compliment without argument for the first time and congratulating myself on that. Dr. Hailey would be proud.
Thinking about her made me turn to sit on the couch and pat the spot beside me.
Dean walked over and sat down; each of us were turned toward each other, ready to talk.
I decided to dig right in and just go for it.
"So, I saw you and Jess in the hallway on Saturday night and I absolutely thought she was another hook-up and that's why I didn't answer the phone or text you back yesterday."
Dean just nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I figured that might be the case when you almost broke your jaw saying hi to her."
I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Look I'm really sorry about that, it was..."
Dean held up a hand. "No, wait. Can I go first?"
I shrugged and nodded. That was probably best since I still wasn't a hundred percent on what I was going to say to him.
Dean, I would like to be friends. NOPE
Dean, let's just leave the night behind us and go back to being neighbors. Double NOPE!!
Dean, would you be willing to try a friends with benefits arrangement? M'eh! Not really what I'm hoping for.
Oh, but also maybe I don't just wanna be friends, because I think I'm falling hopelessly in love with you and I'd kind of like to get married and have endless sex and lots of babies. You up for that? Fuck - this might be closest to the truth, but it might be a little too much after only one date.
Yeah, I figured it was smarter to let him go first.
"I wanted to call you. All day on Friday. Hell, all weekend. I picked up my phone constantly, I wrote and erased a dozen text messages. I knew I wanted to talk to you, I just had no idea what I wanted to say."
He took a deep breath and rubbed his hand down his face. "So, I don't date. I mean, I never really have. In high school, it was all about taking care of Sam, taking care of everything my Dad was too busy to manage.
I just didn't have time, or money for that matter, to date anyone. So I had a series of hookups, usually with slightly older college girls who weren't interested in anything long term either and were happy to take a goofy, horny teenager and help him learn a trick or two."
His smile turned sexy and I silently thanked those unnamed heroines for their service to the sisterhood. He had learned his lessons well.
"Even after high school finished, it was all about getting Sam into Stanford. I made sure I put in extra hours at the garage, worked two other jobs to try and pay for tutors and SAT prep courses, and to help add to what my Dad managed to squirrel away for Sam's tuition.
Again, I just didn't have time for anything serious or long-term. And by this point, I didn't see the need. I liked what I had."
He shrugged. "The sex was fun, easy, we made each other feel good for the night, occasionally two, but it was never anything more."
He frowned. "Sometimes, I thought about trying for something more, but most of the women I met weren't interested in something more either and I didn't know how to find what I wanted."
He scoffed. "Hell, I didn't even know what that was."
He looked at me and smiled, but there was trepidation in his voice and expression.
"And then I met you." He inched closer to me on the couch and I felt my pulse kick up a notch.
I was a little blown away by what he was saying and it was making me kind of sad for him.
It sounded lonely, like all his efforts and all his work had been for someone else. He hadn't allowed himself to spend any time thinking about what he wanted.
Like, he obviously didn't begrudge Sam his education and was clearly incredibly proud of him. But who was taking care of Dean? Where was his college tuition? Where were his helpers, his champions?
He took my hand in both of his, covering it completely. "I told you I wanted you from the first moment I saw you." He shrugged. "But that I was used to. I knew that feeling. That physical pull. Never this strong, maybe, but I knew how to handle it. Or figured I did, anyway."
He shook his head. "What I wasn't at all prepared for was how interested I became in you after we met for real. You banged on my wall and it was so funny to me, such a badass move - telling your jackass neighbor to shut the fuck up."
I blushed a little and ducked my head, remembering how embarrassed I'd been about that.
"Then I met you and you were this quiet, shy little thing. It was such a contrast and I was just so intrigued. Then we started hanging out and I saw that you were smart and funny, sarcastic, but genuine. You're real and kind and I just..."
He shook his head and chuckled. "I'd never met anyone besides Sam and Bobby that I felt so comfortable with, someone who just...I don't know...just fit."
He caught my gaze and I could see nervousness there. "I don't know, does that make any sense?"
I nodded. "Yes. Perfect sense." I whispered.
A little of the nervousness in his eyes dissipated. "And I didn't really know what to do with that. But it occurred to me that maybe we could actually just be friends. I'd never had many friends and never really any female friends, not close ones anyway.
So, I told myself sex was off the table so we could stay friends." He chuckled. "Except that did not work out the way I'd hoped."
He shifted closer and then pulled me into his lap. I wasn't about to complain.
"Because every time I was near you," he continued, his voice dipping low, "I found myself wanting you more and more, certainly more than anyone that came before you."
He took the opportunity to kiss me gently, mouth closed but warm, and I wasn't complaining about that either.
He placed soft kisses along my jaw before he pulled back; the heat in his gaze made my head fuzzy. I tried hard to focus on what he was saying.
"So, probably inevitably, Thursday night happened and it was so incredible." He closed his eyes and I felt like I was seeing the visions that were flashing behind his eyelids and it caused a riot of butterflies to take flight in my belly.
He opened his eyes and I saw worry mixed in with the heat. "So, all day Friday, I wanted to call you. I wanted to tell you that you were incredible, that I wanted..."
He was silent for a bit and then threw up his hands. "And that's why I never called you, because I had no idea what I wanted. I didn't want just a one night stand, had never wanted that with you, but it had become embarrassingly obvious that I couldn't just be friends with you either. So, what friends with benefits? Maybe, but..."
He stopped and shook his head and shrugged. I was struck by just how similar our thought processes had been over the weekend. We probably should have talked about this stuff before we slept together, or at least the morning after.
But hey, the pain and confusion had created a pretty piece of art. Just looking on the bright side.
"So, here I am," he said and he leaned his forehead against mine, "admitting that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. This is all brand new, uncharted territory for me. So, I'm asking for your help in figuring it out."
He cupped my cheek. "And I'm asking what you want."
I laughed. "I have absolutely no idea."
When he frowned at me I shook my head. "I've been having almost the exact same conversation with myself all weekend."
I sighed. "Look, I've dated more than you, sure, but I'm terrible at it. Previous boyfriends include," I started ticking them off on my fingers, "the guy who was dating me so he didn't have to pay rent, the guy who tried to convert me to some kind of cult, and then my...last boyfriend. We were..."
I trailed off and swallowed hard. I had never spoken to anyone outside of Dr. Hailey about my relationship with -
Keith. His name was Keith.
And he was not a monster, he was just a man. A selfish, narcissistic, power-hungry man, who used me to make himself feel strong and in control, and I didn't see the signs until it was too late.
No, that's wrong. I ignored the signs until I thought it was too late.
I never talk about him. I never even name him in my own head. But then I'd never shown anyone my art before either. Today was a day for firsts.
"I got out of a pretty bad relationship about a year ago. He was..."
I trailed off and couldn't think of how to explain him.
Dean's jaw was set and his gaze was intense as he looked at me. "He hurt you."
I shrugged. "Not physically."
"Hurt is hurt."
I nodded. "Yeah, it is. And he did hurt me, tried hard to break me. It took me a really long time to pull myself away from him. We were together about four years. Finally, little over a year ago, I managed to walk away from him, but it wasn't easy. And I'm just starting to remember who I am, what I look like out of his shadow."
I dashed away an unexpected tear and jutted out my chin. "And I like her. I like her a lot."
Dean ran his fingers across my cheekbone and tucked my hair behind my ear. "So do I."
I smiled and nodded. "My point being, that..." I chuckled. "I have no idea what I'm doing either. This is uncharted territory for me too. But..."
I shifted my position so I was straddling his lap and facing him. I had figured out what I wanted and I wasn't going to shy away from it. I heard Dr. Hailey's voice in my head telling me to take ownership of my life.
I still kind of hate that expressions like that are part of my vocabulary now. But hey, truth is truth and it was time for me to own my life.
I took his cheeks in my hands and took a breath. "It's gonna be new for both of us, and there's gonna probably be a learning curve, but I would really like to try. Try to see what comes of us dating. For real dating. Exclusively."
I was momentarily worried that I might be pushing too much too fast, but Dean's face broke into the wide, blinding smile that may end up being the death of me.
"Okay. Okay, yes. Let's do this." He kissed me, laughing, our teeth scraping against each other.
Eventually our laughter died down and the kiss turned carnal, deep. When I reached for the hem of the sweater he was wearing, he stilled my hands and grabbed on to my upper arms fiercely, pulling me close.
"I might be bad at this and I might screw up. But try not to be too mad at me, okay? I promise I'll be trying."
I nodded. "Me too."
His smile was sweet as he bent his head to give me a soft kiss on the forehead, like we were sealing a pact.
Then his smile became wicked and he whispered in my ear. "I also promise that every time I screw up I'll make it up to you in a very effective manner."
I shivered and climbed off his lap, pulling insistently on his arm. "Well, it never hurts to build up some brownie points ahead of time, you know."
He growled and leapt up, chasing my squealing form down my hallway.
That was about five hours ago and we basically didn't leave the bed all evening. Let me tell you that boy has wracked up some serious brownie points.
I'm scared, but so very excited, DD. I can't wait to write about what happens tomorrow and the next day and all the rest of the days.
Things look bright. I mean, really fucking bright.
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