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literaphobe · 5 years

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a rose from rosa

It's Valentine's Day 2019, and the squad finds out that Jake and Amy have never celebrated the holiday together. And yet, for the past decade, Amy's been getting valentine gifts from a secret admirer who's not Jake. Or so it may seem.

for @letsperaltiago (from your secret valentine <3) read on ao3

2019.

“How have the two of you been married for years and years and not celebrated Valentine’s Day even once?”

“We haven’t been married years and years,” Amy denies, and Rosa only rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, Rosa. We got married like, last year. You were at our wedding. Keep up!”

“Rosa, I didn’t know you liked Valentine’s Day,” Terry remarks as he walks past, tearing open a new cup of yoghurt. Apple flavor, from Gina’s flavor of the month fridge thing she got him subscribed to. “Guess you’re a ro-“

“I don’t,” she interrupts, quick and harsh before he can carry on with this line of thought. “Valentine’s Day is a sham. Florists use it as an excuse to sell roses. Stores use it to sell candy and cards.”

“Oh,” Terry backs off, kind of terrified, and decides to dig into his yoghurt instead.

“Wait, Rosa, you don’t like Valentine’s Day?” Amy clarifies, holding her hand up in confusion. “But you get gifts every year. Why would you let anyone send you gifts if you hate the holiday so much?”

Rosa looks momentarily taken aback by this question. Lucky for her, her lack of response does not mean silence in the conversation.

“I mean, they’re probably all from ex-cons and criminals. She pulls in the interrogation room, Ames. Rosa has scared countless criminals into falling in love with her,” Jake says, obviously very impressed. “Wish I knew how to do that.”

“Hey, what are we talking about?” Charles asks as he returns from the break room. He’d been having some kind of fight with Hitchcock and Scully that no one else could really be bothered with.

“We–“

“We’re talking about how Jake and Amy have never celebrated Valentine’s Day. As a couple,” Rosa almost desperately interjects, as if she’s afraid of this topic of conversation to be focused on her. That’s not really suspicious though, because she doesn’t tend to enjoy being the focus of most conversations.

“What?!” Charles slams whatever he’s holding on the table, and everyone flinches at the sound. He glares at Jake and Amy. “Tell me that’s not true!”

Jake and Amy sigh.

“We’ve just,” Amy begins to explain, “we just haven’t had the time.”

2015.

“You’re as... sweet as gummy worms?”

“Jake, if you’re planning on getting me something for Valentine’s Day, I’d suggest you don’t run through your ideas out loud and in front of me,” she says without looking up from her paperwork, working on a report she’s been struggling with for a while. It hasn’t put her in the best mood. “And please, don’t compare me to gummy worms. That alone would be a great Valentine’s Day gift. In fact, I’d prefer it if I wasn’t compared to candy of any kind.” She looks up, her eyes widen, and she suddenly realizes how hostile she might have come across. “I mean, anything’s good though. So... keep up the good work, boyfriend!”

Her tone is light and awkward towards the end, she’s trying to sound as nice about this as possible, which, well, isn’t a shock. They’re uncharted waters, they’re a new relationship, and they haven’t even had a fight yet. It’s cute that Amy’s trying to be nice so that nothing gets ruined, because god knows it would kill him if this thing they’ve got going on blew up in their faces so quick. It would kill them both.

And yet, Jake yearns for a future where neither of them are quite so scared, where they don’t fret about stepping on the other’s toes just a little, where Amy bosses him around like she did in the past and now does in the bedroom. He knows he’d love her so much more for it.

“It’s okay,” he smiles, “this isn’t for you, it’s for Charles. When he found out Gina and I used to give each other friendship valentines as kids, he got super jealous so now if I don’t get him a gift every year he gets hella grumpy.”

“Oh wow,” Amy laughs almost relievedly. “That’s sweet.”

“Don’t worry,” his eyes light up with that sparkle they get when he grins, “your va–“

“Delivery for Amy Santiago?”

“Oh,” Amy turns around, and smiles as she receives what appears to be a basket of various Valentine’s Day gifts. “Oh wow, this is amazing.”

Gina walks past and looks up from her phone upon seeing the love-filled monstrosity. “Wow, you’re a little early, Jake.”

“Oh, this isn’t from Jake,” Amy says knowingly, almost pointedly, actually, and Jake gives a sort of awkward smile in response. “It’s from my secret valentine.”

“Your secret what now?”

Rosa walks by, groaning. “Damn it, we’re doing secret valentines now? Is secret santa not enough for–“

“It’s not a precinct thing,” Amy explains. “I was on a blind date about five years back and they send me Valentine’s Day gifts every year. It’s kind of a tradition. Don’t you guys remember?”

Gina and Rosa look at each other, indicating that they have zero recollection of this whatsoever. Jake is strangely silent throughout all this.

“Okay, that’s a whole can of worms,” says Gina, giving her an inquisitive look. “A blind date? So you’ve met them?”

“Met them? Not physically.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Rosa crosses her arms, looking stern. “Shouldn’t these gifts stop by now since you have a boyfriend?”

“She doesn’t know who this person is,” says Jake. “She doesn’t know any of their contact information, so there’s no way she can get the gifts to stop, unless she found out who her secret valentine was."

“Yeah...” Amy looks over at him. “That’s exactly right, Jake. I don’t remember telling you any of that though.”

Jake looks flustered. “Uh... I figured it out because I’m such a good detective and boyfriend?”

“Okay, but I still don’t understand this blind date thing of yours, Ames–“ Gina continues, but gets cut off when Charles barges into the conversation.

“Blind date?!” He looks very worked up. “Amy, if you’re cheating on Jake, I will kill you! I swear to god, I will kill–“

“I’m not cheating on Jake!” Amy retorts in exasperation. “I’m talking about a blind date I went on years ago on Valentine’s Day. It was... one of those things where you don’t see the person because there’s a divider put up and you talk to each other through these devices that mask what your real voice is.”

“That sounds creepy,” Rosa makes a face. “Why would you go on a date like that?”

2009.

“I don’t know, Kylie, I think I’m better off alone for now,” Amy speaks quietly into her phone, nearly shuddering at the thought of dating again. She only just broke things off with Constantine, and she already knew she didn’t want to be with him since... hours after their first sexual engagement. Imagine who she might get saddled with this time? “Plus, this whole thing seems sketchy.”

“It’s not sketchy,” Kylie insists, and she seems offended Amy would think so. “It’s a blind date.”

“Exactly. A blind date where I don’t get to see who I’m talking to. Or hear their real voice. You know what? I’ve changed my mind, it’s not sketchy, it’s downright creepy, Kylie.”

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!” There’s a lull in their conversation. “Okay, look, there’s some benefits to this thing too. If you don’t like the person you’re on the date with, you can just choose not to reveal your name and contact information. They won’t see your face or know how you sound like! Doesn’t that sound safe?”

“What if they seem nice at first, but then when I choose to meet them they turn out to be weird once we really get to know each other?”

“How’d that be different from any of your past relationships?”

Amy looks up, scowling. That wasn’t Kylie speaking, that was Jake, who’s apparently been eavesdropping this whole time. He’s fiddling with his pen and grinning at her, legs on top of his desk like the disrespectful degenerate he is. Kylie, on the other hand, is laughing her head off on the other line. Traitor.

“What? You forget how loud your voice gets when you get all anxious and stuff. What’s this about a blind date?”

“It’s none of your business,” she seethes, looking away from him and trying to keep her voice down. “Can we be done with this now, Kylie? I have work.”

“You always have work,” Kylie groans, “I’ll hang up if you say yes.”

“Fine!” She whispers harshly. “I’ll go on the date, okay? Promise me this is just a one-time Valentine’s Day thing?”

“I promise,” she says. “After this, I’ll put aside my guilt about getting married before you and I won’t force you to do anything ever again.”

“Okay, great. I’m hanging up now.”

“Wear something pretty!”

Amy shuts her flip phone harder than she usually does and this action coincides with a file getting slammed down on her desk. By Rosa.

She gulps. “Uh, hey... Diaz,” she says that deliberately, remembering how someone got punched the other week for calling her Rosa. She would rather go un-punched today, thank you very much.

Rosa snorts. “Hey yourself. That’s the Kowalski file.”

She fumbles in realization, dropping some papers, which she sees Jake snickering at from the corner of her eye. Asshole. “Thanks,” she says to Rosa, who picks a pen up for her. “I’ll take care of this.”

“Yeah, whatever,” she crosses her arms now, smiling slightly. “So. Blind date?”

“Oh yes, Rosa,” Jake chimes in, uninvited as usual. Amy hates how he seems to just know everyone so well and so deeply, and how he occasionally pretends to know her too. Sometimes he’s right about the things he claims to know about her, but those are probably lucky guesses. “Detective Santiago here’s going on a blind date for Valentine’s Day.”

He makes sure to emphasize that for effect, and it works.

“Woah,” says Gina, who’s returning from god knows where. “A blind date on Valentine’s Day? That just seems tacky, Santiago.”

“Not that this is at all related to work,” Amy says carefully but pointedly. “But I’m not voluntarily going on this blind date. Just doing it to appease my friend Kylie.”

“Wow. You must be a really good friend.”

Hm. Was that a heartfelt compliment? Amy’s not sure she expected it, especially from Jake, but she’ll take it. “I guess I am.”

“I mean, to go on a crazy bondage-themed blind date on Valentine’s Day just to make your friend–“

“What? It’s not bondage-themed!” Amy protests in an outrage, and the rest laugh at this. “Where did you get that?”

“You said it was a sketchy, creepy, thing where you couldn’t see your date. Sounds sexual to me. Hey, I’m not judging–“

“Because there’s nothing to judge,” she retorts, firm on this. “It’s just an anonymous blind date. Whether there’s a second date will be completely up to me. But everyone’s clothes stay on.”

“That sounds dumb and boring,” Gina says, disgusted. “I thought Valentine’s Day was supposed to be romantic. You’re ruining Valentine’s Day.”

“Eh, who cares,” Rosa responds nonchalantly. “Valentine’s Day is a sham. Florists use it as an excuse to sell roses. Stores use it to sell candy and cards.”

“Rosa,” Gina places her hand on her chest, clutching it dramatically. “You’re not telling me you don’t like Valentine’s Day, are you?”

“No, that’s... exactly what I’m telling you.”

“Well, then stop telling me! Because girl, I’m gonna change your mind.”

2019.

“Delivery for Rosa Diaz?”

Rosa looks like she’s just seen a ghost. She doesn’t move.

“Rosa Diaz?”

Everyone looks weirded out at her reaction. She still doesn’t move.

“Uh, she’s here,” Jake says, pointing to Rosa, and the delivery guy gives her a weird look before placing an elaborate basket filled with many Valentine’s Day themed gifts. There’s nothing surprising about the whole thing. Except Rosa’s reaction to it. She now appears to be gathering herself, shaking her head as she puts the gift basket under her desk.

“Rosa, what’s wrong?”

“What? Nothing.” She clears her throat. “Nothing’s wrong. Shut up.”

“You get Valentine’s Day gifts every year, why do you look so shaken?”

“Nothing I just,” her voice is choked up, “I just didn’t think I’d get one this year.”

“Why not? I mean—wait.”

“Oh,” Amy continues from Jake’s apparent silent epiphany. “All the gifts came from one person.”

“What?” Rosa denies, an octave too loud for truth. “No they didn’t. They were all, all from random losers I don’t know.” It’s almost pitiful to watch her like this. “Talk about literally anything else right now.”

“Okay... I’ve got something,” Charles begins hesitantly, not wanting to cross Rosa. She gets vulnerable from time to time, they all know this by now, but she never becomes less of a threat. “Why haven’t you two given each other anything for Valentine’s Day? I can’t believe I let this happen.”

“You let this happen?”

“We always get swamped with work, Charles. That’s all there is to it!”

“No! That can’t be all there is to it!”

2015.

“So,” Jake leans over to Amy’s side of the table. “Valentine’s Day is in a few days.”

She smiles, her face lighting up actually. She looks nervous yet excited. This would be their first Valentine’s Day as a couple, and that’s big. “You’re right. Got any... ideas of what we should do?”

“A few,” he winks, indicating that its sexual ideas he has.

Holt bursts into the briefing room, and they sit upright in shock. Or well, Amy is. Jake nearly falls off his chair. He looks like he’s not to be trifled with this morning, like he’s stressed out about something.

“Peralta. I need you on a week-long stakeout with Sergeant Jeffords. Your murder case just became a top-priority drug investigation.”

Terry nods. “Yes, sir. We won’t rest until we’ve got our guy.”

Jake and Amy look at each other. “Crap.”

2019.

“Oh wow, that really is all there was to it,” Charles nods, standing corrected. “How about every year since then?”

“Stuff just kept cropping up,” Amy explains, and Jake looks tense about this again.

“That’s no excuse!” he whines. “You can’t be married and not celebrating Valentine’s Day. Jake, normally I’d blame Amy for this–“

“What?”

“–but there’s something you’re not telling me here! You’re getting beaten out by some random loser who gives Amy Valentine’s Day gifts every year!”

2009.

A blonde woman rushes into the bullpen and makes a beeline toward Amy’s desk.

“Woah woah woah,” she looks up in shock. “You must be Kylie.”

Her shock melts into simple delight. “And you must be the Jake I keep hearing about.”

“Oh wow,” Jake reaches out and shakes her hand. “Amy talks about me a lot? Gotta say I’m flattered, can’t say I’m surprised.”

Kylie rolls her eyes, but keeps her smile. “She told me you’d be like this. If I didn’t know what a slob you were, I’d tell her to date you.”

Jake laughs nervously, and a bit too loud, but it’s chill, because it’s 2009, and Captain McGintley is their captain. No one gets into trouble for being a too-loud laughing slob, except for with Amy. He’s so glad for that. His desk is a complete mess and sure he sees the occasional ant but why should that have to change?

“Great!” His lips are frozen in a not at all convincing grin. “Just great! Hey Kylie, what are you doing here? Amy went to investigate a lead.”

The almost deranged energy to the way he talks never drops throughout this.

“Oh, I just came here to charge my phone. Amy and I have the same phone brand. My phone went flat. Don’t tell her I was here though.”

“Oh yeah, sure,” especially since Kylie being here violates many rules. He’s not sure how she got in so easy. Maybe this precinct could do with some tighter security. “Any pal of Amy’s a pal of mine.”

“Ooh,” she grimaces, “please don’t call me that."

“Not a fan of pal? Alright,” he looks down, and pretends to focus on his paperwork instead of letting Kylie know how distracting and terrifying her presence here is. Also he does not want to do his paperwork. He hears the faint sounds of her phone starting back up.

“Oh crap,” he hears, a few moments later. “This isn’t good.”

“Anything wrong, buddy?”

“Yeah, I don’t like buddy either,” she looks up from her phone. “I’ve just been told Amy’s blind date for tonight cancelled.”

“Aw man, and Amy was really looking forward to that!”

She doesn’t sense his sarcasm and begins to look panicked, the kind of horror that scares Jake into thinking maybe telling the truth would get him in even more trouble than this bold-faced lie.

“She did?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah, totally. She couldn’t wait to... get off work and go for that date.”

He’s hoping maybe at some point, she’ll just stop taking it seriously, and never bring it up again, and never tell Amy, and also agree to be his best friend.

“What am I gonna tell Amy? Oh, this is bad, this is bad—wait—a replacement. I just need a replacement!”

Jake claps his hands together. “Yeah! Yes! You go, Kylie! Four for you, Kylie!”

“Mean girls?”

“Best movie that came out five years ago. Because it’s 2009. And that movie came out... in 2004.”

“I don’t have time for movie release facts, Jake!”

“Sorry!” He holds his hands up. “Sorry.”

“I need a replacement date. So Amy doesn’t get stood up.”

“Yes!” He points at her in agreement. “You do need that.”

“You!”

“Huh?”

“You, you’re gonna be the replacement.” She smiles wide now, proud of herself for figuring it out. “Yeah, you’re gonna be Amy’s blind date.”

“Uh, no I’m not.”

“Uh, oh yes you are,” Kylie scowls at him now.

“Yes I am,” he says in fear. “Except I can’t!”

“And why not?”

“Because... Amy and I work together. That would make things weird.”

“Are you dumb? It’s just the one date. She’d never know it was you. If you’re afraid she’ll want a second date somehow, then just be terrible on purpose. Amy’s beautiful. She’s gonna find someone great. I only make her go on the occasional date so she doesn’t stay cooped up in here where romance goes to die.”

“What...” he bites on his lip. “This place is super romantic.”

“Uh huh,” Kylie snorts, unplugging her phone, which apparently got juiced up enough during their conversation for her to leave conveniently right now. “I’m gonna go. Don’t be late, and–“ she hands him a slip of paper–“here’s the place.”

“I won’t,” Jake says, not exactly a promise but a hopeful notion for himself, given his track record with attendance, which doesn’t really matter at work yet, because it’s 2009. “This is... gonna work out great.”

2019.

“Hey!” Rosa calls out, stern, her finger pointing straight at Amy who looks like she’s about to get eaten alive. “What’s that?”

She’s currently interrupting Charles who’d been cajoling (note: annoying) the rest of the squad with romantic (note again: gross) escapades with Genevieve on every past Valentine’s Day.

“Uh... nothing?” Amy is holding onto a very fancy looking card, concealing it in her hands.

“Don’t give me that crap,” her forehead wrinkles as she gets off her desk. “Give me that.”

“It’s just, it’s, it’s my ideas for Valentine’s–“ she throws the card at Jake–“Jake, catch!”

Jake looks at her in horror. He obviously wants to know who this secret valentine Rosa’s been hiding for years is, but he also doesn’t want to die. “Amy! Why’d you do that?”

“Partners in life!”

“Oh, right, love you–“

Rosa scowls at him, still grabbing onto Amy. “Jake, don’t you dare read that–“

“Oh, I already saw the card,” says Terry, to confused looks, “what? I thought if I found out who was secretly sending you gifts I could help you get together with them."

"Yeah," Amy assents, "I only looked at the card too because he put it down on the desk. I'm sorry, Rosa."

"Terry just wants his friends to be happy."

“Aw, Sarge,” Charles touches his chest. “That is so sweet–“

“That is invasive and a violation of–“

“Diaz, relax,” Terry says, holding his hands up to soothe her. “There was no name on the card. I wouldn’t know who it was any better than you.”

Rosa deflates in relief, and Jake looks down at the card. “Uh oh,” his eyes widen after he reads it.

“What, what is it?”

Jake looks up at everyone, just a little bit apologetic, a little bit wary of Rosa, who... looks like she’s given up. “I... know who Rosa’s secret valentine is.”

2009.

“Godiva chocolates?” Rosa holds up the pretty looking box, it has a pink post it taped on saying ‘from your secret admirer, xoxo’. She scoffs at Gina, who’s sat at her desk subtly grinning like she’s a hero. “You really think this is gonna change my mind about Valentine’s Day?”

“You really don’t know me, huh?”

Rosa smirks, proud as she crosses her arms. “No. And I don’t intend to.”

“Stop lying to yourself, sweetie,” Gina’s words flow slow like sticky honey, tender and unwavering. Rosa’s having a hard time convincing herself she’s not a bee. “Here’s something you don’t know about me: I don’t just do one thing and leave it at that if I’m trying to accomplish something. You think chocolates is all I have planned?”

“Whatever plan you have, I don’t want any–“

Gina’s phone rings, and Rosa hates how it gives her power, power that Rosa doesn’t have. She can’t say that about most people. She finds that she found her match when Gina Linetti first stepped into this building. No, not match like that, gross. She means it in a competitive way.

“Jake?”

“Gina, I don’t think I can do this.”

“Then don’t,” she says, and winks at Rosa. Rosa isn’t even sure why she’s winking. She elects to roll her eyes, but the fact that she reacts at all is Gina’s victory.

“What? Gina, you’re supposed to tell me that I have to do this!”

“Okay, then do it.”

“Okay, I’m doing it.” Jake takes a deep breath. “Thanks? I guess?”

“You’re welcome. Bye...” Gina puts her phone down.

“What’d Jake want?”

“Who knows?”

Jake, who’s on the line, who Gina unknowingly hasn’t hung up on yet, sighs and hangs up. He slowly walks back to his chair.

“Sorry about that,” he says into the microphone, and then he hears Amy say “no, it’s fine!” back through the speaker, her voice muffled to sound different but still easy on the ears. He misses her real voice. “Yeah, there was a line at the bathroom. So, about your question...”

Jake screwed up. Unlike what Kylie said to do, Jake didn’t play the asshole blind date who you never want to see again, he played himself. Which, well, he figured was enough to make Amy not want anything more. But the unthinkable happened. Amy... likes him. Well, she likes blind date unseeable him at least. She laughed at his jokes, they bantered back and forth, and he can’t see her face, but he’s pretty sure she didn’t make a single expression of annoyance. Not even once.

So what’s the issue here? Yeah, well... Amy wants a second date. In person. And that’s just too much for Jake, he can’t let that happen, because Amy finding out he’s him is one thing, but Amy knowing that they were on a date and she wanted a second one? That would just make things so awkward at work. For her, at least. And while Jake is usually a purveyor of Amy doing and saying embarrassing things... he feel like this one would cross the line. She’d never understand and maybe she’d even leave the Nine-Nine and they wouldn’t be partners anymore.

That scares Jake more than anything else.

“So? What do you think? I mean, not to sound too forward, but I thought the date went well... or was that just me?”

“No, it’s not just you,” Jake insists, because keeping this under wraps is one thing, but he doesn’t want to hurt Amy and make her think that there’s something genuinely wrong with her. “I loved this. You’re amazing, and I’m sure you’re beautiful, although that doesn’t matter because you uh, your personality is beautiful enough.”

She sighs, sounding disappointed. “Just get to the point, please.”

“I can’t see you. Ever. And it’s not that I don’t want to! I just—I just can’t—and I can’t explain why.”

“Okay...”

“Yeah, yeah,” he sighs. “I know. It sounds sketchy as hell. But I’m serious. You’re great, and I’ll prove it. We just can’t ever see each other.”

She seems interested. “How?”

“Today’s Valentine’s Day, right? Yeah, I mean, that’s why we’re here. How about... I promise you I’ll be your valentine every year from now till... forever I guess.”

“That’s sweet, but what does that mean?”

“I’ll send you a Valentine’s Day gift every year,” he nods. “And that way you know how special you are. Every year.”

“That doesn’t sound fair,” she says. “If I give you my address and don’t know anything about you, what’s gonna stop you from breaking into my house and murdering me in cold blood?”

“I’ll set it up through this... is this an agency? I’m uh, the... the people in charge of this super anonymous blind date thing. They have both of our personal information, right?”

“Yeah, they do. I only put down my work address though, not that you deserve to know that.”

“Okay. I’ll... get this place to deliver it to you. We do it through the middleman, and that way this whole thing stays anonymous. And you get a valentine every year, no matter what. I won’t make the gifts too sexual, so whoever you end up dating won’t get jealous.”

She laughs. “You know what? That actually sounds nice. You have a deal.” A pause. “For what it’s worth, I really love the way you think.”

“Oh, thank you.” He refrains from saying ‘and I love you’, because even he knows that’d be too weird. “And... for what it’s worth, since we’re doing that now, I think you deserve to be so happy. Because you’re one of the best people... I know.”

“Wow, you got all that from one date?”

Uh oh. Making it weird, he’s making it weird. Time to tap out before he gives the game away.

“Uh... yeah! I have to, I have to go.”

2019.

“So, who is it?”

Curious eyes latch onto him, every pair looking but Rosa, who Jake is scared to hurt.

“I–“

“Just tell them, Jake,” Rosa says, defeated, and her consent only drives up the desperation of the crowd.

“Tell us!”

“It’s me!” He yells, and everyone shows a range of expressions, best described by confusion, perhaps a bit of disgust. “It was me all along, okay?”

“That’s a lie if I ever heard one.”

“Jake, you have a wife. You can’t really expect us to believe you’ve been secretly sending Rosa Valentine’s Day gifts every year, right?”

“What?” he scoffs. “No, I’m not talking about Rosa. I meant Amy. I’m Amy’s secret valentine. The one, the one who’s been sending her gifts all these years.” he looks sheepishly at Amy. “Surprise?”

“Oh, I knew that.”

“What?!”

Amy shrugs. “I found out years ago, Jake.”

“How?” His entire life has been a lie. Okay, maybe not his entire life. Just, the last ten years. Or whenever Amy found out about this.

“I’m a good detective,” she says, crossing her arms, “also that company who organized our blind date got investigated and shut down and I might have taken a peek at the files.”

“Oh, you’re good,” says Charles, nodding his head up and down in a creepily approving way. He suddenly scowls at Jake. “Why didn’t you tell her until now? You could’ve gotten together much sooner!”

Jake looks appalled by this accusation. “I didn’t tell her? Don’t you mean–“ he turns his attention to Amy–“why didn’t you ask me?”

“Why would I?” Amy snorts. “You’re the only one who supposedly had that information. When we weren’t dating, I just assumed it was because you weren’t into me like that and you were just being a good friend. Then you told me you liked me and, nothing, and then we got together, and then we dated for years, and then we got married–“

“I think we get the gist of it, Amy,” Jake says in embarrassment.

“I don’t understand,” Terry pipes up, “why couldn’t you just tell her any time during these last ten years? Especially after y’all got married. Terry hates secrets kept over a long period of time between couples who are supposed to love and trust each other.”

Rosa grins subtly. “Wow. That one was a mouthful.”

“Yeah,” he frowns. “Terry didn’t think that particular hatred through.”

“Jake didn’t tell me because he wanted to get more and more bad at hiding it until I got suspicious and asked him about it,” Amy smiles proudly at Jake, who looks impressed because she’s spot on, “I’m assuming.”

“No you’re not.”

“No I’m not, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what you were going for,” she smiles again, sickly sweet and nauseating for all others but him. “You wanted it to be a dramatic reveal. A blaze of glory.”

“That I did,” Jake grinned. “You know me so well.”

“But I found that boring.”

“Oh,” he deflates completely, almost looking crushed.

“Because I already knew,” she explains, and it dawns on him that it was only her part of his supposed plan that she disliked. “And also–“

“Package for Jake Peralta?”

Jake’s face lights up and he turns toward her, bursting with excitement. The supposed delivery man is carrying a boombox.

“You got me a boombox?”

“Wait for it...”

The delivery man clicks on a button and upbeat music starts playing. Suddenly, several other people dressed up uber cool march in and there’s dancing, choreographed dancing, and ska is in the mix somehow, confetti is in the air, balloons rise to the ceiling, and someone kneels down in front of Jake holding up a banner that says ‘WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?’

Jake kisses Amy deep and messy and desperately happy. When he pulls away, they share a tiny giggle, and then he kisses her one last time on the forehead for good measure.

“Ames, this is the most romantic thing anyone has done. For me. No, wait, it’s ever. This is super cool. And yes, I will marry you.”

They laugh again, and Amy grabs his arm in a gentle grasp. “I knew I had to go big to top ten years of your work. Also, we’re married. That’s why it’s ridiculous you never told me until now.”

“Worth it,” he says, and he grabs a heart-shaped balloon that’s clearly customized to say ‘My Love For You Is Bigger Than The Nakatomi Plaza!’. “Can I keep this? All of this. This is all crazy awesome and I have no idea how no one pulled their gun out when these guys came in.”

“Oh, I sent a memo to everyone, it’s cool,” he laughs because of course she did, “hey,” she picks up the banner, “look at this.”

In fine print, at the bottom of the banner read the words ‘I Know You’re My Secret Valentine, Idiot. Look What You Made Me Do’.

He gasps, hugging her, “That’s a Taylor Swift ref! Oh my god, you listened to Reputation!”

“Not really it was just the one–“ she sinks into the hug–“oh, what the hell. Yes. I did.”

“Okay,” he releases her from his embrace. “I’m totally gonna top this next year, by the way.”

“You can try,” Amy smiles wide and haughty. “I’m already months into planning next year’s Valentine’s Day.”

They hear Rosa push open her desk drawer with a slam, and they watch as she pulls a rose out of it. Hm, a rose from Rosa. Nice.

“Diaz, where are you going?”

“My shift is up,” she tells Terry, clicking at the lift. “I have to... go see Gina.”

“Gina? Why, she already–“ his eyes widen–“oh.”

“Yeah,” Jake nods, already in the know about this. “Good luck Rosa!”

The doors close, and Jake goes back to smiling at Amy.

“Wow, so Gina’s been Rosa’s secret valentine all along?” Amy marvels. “And she knew?”

“Yeah. I guess... we all needed a push in the right direction today.”

Amy holds up Gina’s card, squinting at it. “I don’t get how you figured that one out. I’ve looked over so many reports written by Gina. This looks nothing like her.”

“Oh, this is her fancy handwriting that she uses when she writes love letters. I’ve known it by heart since grade school.”

“Did any of her penmanship... rub off on you?”

She’s teasing, and he chuckles at it. “No. I still have the worst handwriting in the world. Can I still be your valentine?”

Her next smile is one he’ll remember for centuries. So is the kiss she plants on his cheek. “You don’t even have to ask.”

“Lifetime valentine membership. I knew marrying you was a good idea.”

And really, he’s never believed anything more.

#text #b99 #brooklyn nine nine #peraltiago #dianetti #peraltiago fic #b99valentines2019 #hope yall like this? lmao #i swear the title doesn't have much to do w the fic i just liked it n went w it #and to letsperaltiago i hope u liked this!!!! hope i did u justice #happy valentine's day!!!

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