#spent 3 hours on this bc i was doing it slow

[fereldanwench]

valerie is a tech + gun lady to her core but every time i see her with a cool katana pose I'm like... could i find a legitimate reason to also make her sword-wielding badass because damn girl

[ayyponine]

art update fr april part 2/2

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

So like technically I’m not dating her but yeah I think I do in fact have a girlfriend

[marblerose-rue]

SHOULD i draw dove + ivy rq just so i can have something concrete of their designs on my pc

EDIT im just gonna do it it'll be super simple tho

[thirdtidemouse]

i have to do more bc she isnt rly brought to life yet.. she will change a LOT... but this is dylan :-] (hammarlund? underhill?) i couldn't not do a hilda oc and i couldnt not make it a nervous werewolf. she stresses herself out but is surprisingly organised about cooking, one of the famously stressful activities. she spends a full day planning out a meal, cooking for herself and kaisa (thank god. that nerd cannot cook) and then asks for detailed reviews.

she is very stressed out about being a werewolf though. she has just finished being a teenager and this is kind of that all over again. she does not want ANYONE to find out and confides reluctantly only in kaisa. what she fears is people fearing her, and she feels like the moment her life has been pieced back together again, she's losing grip, again. it's almost a black hound situation when the people of trolberg hear about a werewolf sneaking around. some episode centred around the mystery ensues.

she likes food + music! although she's more of an amateur at music, she owns + plays a guitar, a mandolin, a banjo, and a harmonica. very folksy. she has a swedish-welsh accent. try and imagine it please.

the default sister dynamic is kaisa getting home from work late (she probably lives in a flat in/around the library), and dylan being in the midst of homemade ravioli or something with a sauce that took 6 hours. kaisa asks about her day to be polite. dylan tells her about the sauce that took 6 hours, a long hike, 3 different invasive plant species, a lot of butter, and the use of powertools. kaisa has been re-shelving niche history of magic books but got so caught up re-reading them that it also took up 6 hours. when they have eaten dylan asks for her opinion and scribes the whole thing down in her notebook as kaisa voices her 5 star yelp review. they do not ask anything else about each others days and interact mainly through dylan slow-motion fake-punching kaisa while she is trying to just hang out in the living room or do her work and is ignored. only when she is in a very good mood will kaisa fake-punch back. dylan has a lethal case of younger-sister-that-is-taller syndrome.

sorry for my handwriting but the vague outline of her backstory WHICH MAY PROBABLY CHANGE is:

from the time she was 8 and kaisa was 21, they lived alone together. kaisa became a full-fledged witch between then and age 25, when suspicion against witches was on the rise for a short while - dylan never became a witch, but the only trusted adults in her life (basically kaisa and tildy) were, and they decided it would be best for her to grow up somewhere less troublesome. they were both pretty messed up about her having to move away, dylan holding some kind of spite toward her sister for a while, and kaisa feeling incapable, guilty and ill-equipped to take care of her.

she went to school in wales at 12, living with as-yet-unspecified family members/friends, and while kaisa almost immediately regretted sending her away, dylan adjusted quickly and spent the rest of her school career there. after a few years she forgave kaisa, because she ultimately enjoys her life, but she is stilll missed at home. at 17 going on 18 she became a werewolf (whether she was bitten or it was always in her somewhere?) and four months later she finished sixth form and called kaisa out of the blue asking if she could come and move in. since they didn't live in trolberg before, she's new to the city.

i will write more cohesively about her relationships to other characters/flesh her out more later, ESPECIALLY the werewolf stuff, but now i have to go to bed. thank you for reading :-] feel free to ask/suggest anything about her!! i love discussing hilda ocs

by the way this is i think my first ever actual OC? i've made up others before but they've just been single designs i've never really thought much about their actual selves because i suck at writing. dylan is the first one thats really stuck. part of her is based off myself and people i know, most of her is not. the main similarity between us is double-denim.

this is fun though. critique is welcome

(obviously her werewolf self is a swedish elkhound. i know the design kind of just looks like a furry im working on it)

[jessamine-rose]

(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅⬩⊱ Housecat ⊰⬩]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

Rip so I ended up writing another Genshin fic, this time to purge my Pantalone brainrot. I’d like to credit these posts by @bye-bye-sunbird and @ddarker-dreams as inspiration. 

An additional thanks to my beloved victim @diodellet for the lovely peer reviews and to @yandere-romanticaa for your interest in reading this ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

This post is Part 1 of the fic!! Part 2 is linked below and covers the remainder of the story from Pantalone’s POV  o(｀ω´ )o

Lastly, enjoy the depravity. I suffered bc of this and now it is everyone’s turn <3

Tw:: YANDERE, unhealthy relationships, manipulation, coercion, electrocution, spice, mention of nsfw, MINORS DNI

Note:: Female cat-hybrid reader, pre-release Pantalone based on current lore crumbs

♡ 10.4k words under the cut ♡

i. scarlet quartz

Your fiancé is nowhere to be seen.

A look around the ballroom only confirms your solitude. Your parents are chatting within their social circle, far too busy to give you any attention. Your sister, in a similar vein, is approaching prospective business clients. Your friends are absent.

You glance at the decorative mirror on the wall. Your ears are folded back and your tail is thrashing. Your carefully-planned outfit is one out of many colorful images reflected in the glass.

Why are you even here?

The terrace is a breath of fresh air. You close the double doors and walk over to the ledge, taking in the view of Liyue Harbor. From your level, the lights of the city resemble dainty yellow jewels. The sky is studded with a glittery expanse of stars.

Your Scarlet Quartz jewelry gleams under the dull moonlight.

You had spent hours picking your dress and accessories. But what is the point if no one will appreciate it?

“Miss?”

Warm light spills from the open doorway. It disappears just as instantly.

The person approaching you is a stranger, a fashionable figure clad in dark clothing and violet jewels. His spectacles are adorned with a bejeweled silver chain.

Your ears flatten. “I beg your pardon, sir. Do I know you?”

Elegant appearance. Wavy black hair with a light streak in it. Snezhnayan style of clothing. Who were the Snezhnayan names on the guest list?

He gives you a polite smile. “We haven’t had the honor of meeting before, I’m afraid. I am the owner of the Northland Bank; you should be familiar with the alias ‘Pantalone.’ And you must be ______, correct?”

The Regrator.

You curtsy immediately. Any attempts at hiding your shock are dashed by the involuntary movements of your ears and tail.

“Yes, I have heard about you! My apologies for not recognizing you immediately, Lord Harbinger.” You pause, looking up. “And how do you know my name?”

“The Lai Lineage is well-known for their luxurious feline features. From that point, it was easy to narrow down your identity.” He peers at you through his lashes. “Am I mistaken?”

“No, you are correct.” You straighten your posture, tail poised. “I am Lai ______, youngest child of the family. What made you visit the terrace?”

He walks over to your side and faces the ledge. “I simply wanted to appreciate the view of Liyue from above. Quite the lovely sight, isn’t it?”

Your gaze returns to the city lights. “I agree.”

You can still hear the muffled sounds from the ballroom. Chattering voices, dance steps, the foreign orchestra. The music switches to a slow, lively waltz.

You glance at Pantalone. His gaze is transfixed on the stars this time.

“Will you return to the ballroom? I am sure that many people are looking for you.”

“And what about you?”

You twist the bracelets on your wrist. “I will stay here for a while longer.”

“Well, in that case, may I have this dance?” He turns to you and holds out his hand.

Under the moonlight, his invitation could not look any more tempting.

You take his hand. “It would be my pleasure.”

He is wearing black gloves with an assortment of bejeweled rings. His perfume is a strong blend of sophisticated fragrances.

“Shall I lead?” he asks. His other hand is already touching your back.

Your free hand rests on his shoulder. “You may.”

The music continues. Pantalone leads and you follow.

“Has anyone told you that you are a good dancer, Miss ______?” he asks.

Your tail brushes against his legs. “I’ve received formal training, but I don’t have many opportunities to dance in Liyue. What about you?”

His grip on your hand tightens. “I am self-taught for the most part.”

“I could not tell. Your dancing is excellent, my lord.”

The waltz is ending. Right before the final spin, an idea hits you.

Pantalone twirls you. You activate your Vision.

“Oh?” He almost stumbles. The fire reflects in his glasses.

“Just a few special effects!” You wave your fingers, producing more thin flames. The sparks encircle the two of you in red threads and curlicues.

He laughs, pulling you closer. “What a lovely surprise!”

The music stops. The flames dissolve into the air.

“Well, Miss ______.” Pantalone adjusts his glasses. His eyes are wide open, gazing at you in wonder. “That was quite the dance. I was not aware that you own a Pyro Vision.”

You give him a bright smile, revealing the glowing red accessory on your belt. “Did you like it? It gets everyone’s attention.”

He is still holding you. “It was absolutely enchanting.”

The doors creak.

“______?”

You let go of his hand. A familiar pair of fluffy ears peek out from the doorway.

“There you are! Were you here this—” Your sister stops in her tracks. “Lord Harbinger?”

“Chairman Lai.” Pantalone’s polite smile has returned. “I just had the pleasure of making your younger sister’s acquaintance.”

Her tail swishes. “I hope she has been pleasant company.”

“Only the best.” Pantalone gives you one last smile before he walks to the doorway, bypassing your sister. “Thank you for your time, Miss ______. I hope to see you very soon.”

The doors close behind him.

Your sister faces you. “Were you on your best behavior?”

You nod. “Yes, Jiejie. I was surprised; I didn’t expect the Regrator to be so charming.”

She shrugs. “Knowing someone by reputation cannot compare to meeting them in person. From what I’ve heard, he is one of the more…approachable Fatui Harbingers.”

“He is quite the catch.” You smile at her. “Suitor number four, maybe?”

“Hardly!” she scoffs. “Shady associations aside, his family background is a mystery. I doubt he comes from reputable means.”

“Whatever you say. By the way, have you seen Chairman Jin?”

“He was speaking with the Qie heiress earlier.”

“Oh.” You run your hands through your hairstyle, subtly hiding your ears. “Jiejie, can I be your plus-one instead?”

She frowns at you. “I have associates to speak with. If you are bored, you can remain here or go bother someone else.”

“...All right.”

You reenter the ballroom and walk past your parents’ group.

Pantalone is speaking to them.

He catches your eye and smiles.

ii. vajrada amethyst

A few days after the gala, you get dressed for a new occasion.

“A meeting with the Regrator?” you ask your handmaiden.

Ru helps you into your dress. “Yes, my lady. Your sister and Chairman Jin are interested in opening a joint enterprise. It is a major investment so they are requesting a loan from the Northland Bank.”

“Hence the family dinner.” You attach your Vision to your belt. “But why am I attending?”

“I heard that you spoke amicably with the Regrator at the Shang family’s gala.”

Of course. Why else would you be included?

For jewelry, you select Vajrada Amethysts set in silver. Your engagement ring clashes with your outfit, so you slip it off your finger and leave it in your jewel box.

⬩◈⬩

“Lord Harbinger!” Your father bows. “We are honored to be in your company!”

Pantalone enters the room. “You flatter me. Have I kept you waiting?”

“Not at all,” your mother replies. “We arrived just a few minutes before you.”

“Thank you again for handling the dinner reservation,” Jiejie tells him. “It must have been difficult to reserve a room at Xinyue Kiosk on such short notice.”

“It was hardly a hassle.” Pantalone takes the empty seat between Baba and Jiejie.

The seat across from you.

He smiles at you. “We meet again, Miss ______.”

You bow from your seat. “Thank you for your invitation, Lord Harbinger.”

Tea is served. A few minutes later, Pantalone speaks up.

“So this is the esteemed Lai family.”

“Excluding our son,” Baba corrects him. “He is currently a student at the Sumeru Akademiya. He plans to join the family business once he graduates from the Kshahrewar.”

“You must be proud. And I understand that your eldest child has been in charge of the company for a few years now?”

“Yes,” says Jiejie. “I have been involved from an early age.”

“And what about Miss ______?”

Silence. You stare at your lap.

Mama’s tail hits your leg under the table. “Little ______ has…other skills. Our ancestors’ legacy is of no interest to her.”

Not if they had taught you anything about your family business.

“She is engaged to the heir of the Jin family,” Baba adds quickly. “If our son passes his thesis this year, they may hold their wedding as soon as he comes home.”

“I am already aware of that.” Pantalone drinks his tea, peering at you over the rim of his cup. “Do you have anything to add to that, Miss ______?”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t.”

Your saving grace is a knock on the door. Masked waiters enter your private room with Fullmoon Eggs, Golden Crab, and other Yue delicacies. The conversation turns to the food, restaurant comparisons, which wine pairs best with certain dishes.

You finish your meal and take a deep breath. So far, you have shown perfect behavior. This should prove useful for the Jin family dinners.

“Now,” says Pantalone, “I believe it is time for us to discuss your little business venture.”

The mood shifts.

Mama and Jiejie are doing an excellent job at keeping their ears in check.

Pantalone’s voice becomes serious. “You and Chairman Jin are requesting quite a large sum of Mora. Even speaking as a banker, your calculations seem a little improvident.”

Mama shakes her head. “The Lai Lineage has been expanding their wealth since the Cataclysm. It will not end with us.”

“I see.” Pantalone taps his fingers on the desk. He is wearing the same set of rings. “If the Northland Bank agrees to the loan, you are expected to pay us back in exactly a year, naturally with interest. Do you have that much faith in your proposal?”

“Of course, Lord Harbinger. We trust our daughter.”

“And what do you think, Miss ______?”

What?

You look up. Pantalone’s professional smile has returned and his hands are clasped together. But his charmingly polite image is completely negated by his gaze.

He looks as though he is staring directly into your soul.

Your ears lay flat against your head. “Excuse me?”

His gaze remains fervent. “Do you believe that your family is worth my time and resources?”

Now your family is looking at you.

“I believe so.” You hold down your tail. “I would be pleased if my family could work with you, Lord Harbinger.”

“Well, I can always recognize a good investment.” Pantalone nods at one of the masked waiters. “Tomorrow, we may go over the contract with the Jin family. For now, I propose a toast.”

The waiter brings over a foreign bottle and a set of wine glasses. The wine is blood red with a rich aroma; you recognize the label as an expensive brand from Mondstadt.

Pantalone swirls the wine in his glass. “By the way, I will be regularly visiting Liyue over the course of the year. I am quite interested in what the region has to offer these days. Would any of you have the time to extend your hospitality?”

“Oh, ______ can do that.” Jiejie sounds confident this time. “She is extremely familiar with the city’s shopping centers and fine arts establishments.”

At least she is not complaining this time.

He turns to you. “Do you mind?”

You smile at him. “You can count on me, Lord Harbinger.”

You have no one else to spend time with, anyway.

“Excellent.” Pantalone raises his glass, rings gleaming under the light. The smile on his face is, without a doubt, directed at you. “I look forward to our new partnership.”

iii. smaragdus jadeite

The next day, your family allows you to visit their office.

You almost get lost in the maze of hallways, but you find your way back by the time Pantalone leaves the conference room.

“So where do we start, Miss ______?” He looks as stylish as ever. The fitted dark suit and silver chains compliment his figure.

You glance at the doorway. Jiejie is holding the signed contract, tail sticking upright. Chairman Jin is drinking his tea.

He does not bother to greet you.

You face Pantalone again.

“I thought we could start with the Heyu Tea House for their opera performances. Then we can go to the Mingxing Jewelry—the owner knows me—and eat at Liuli Pavilion for dinner.” You stare at your purse. “Are you fine with that?”

“It is worth my time.”

The two of you walk to the exit. Before you leave the building, he turns around to face you.

“Oh, and I must say. Your choice of apparel today is absolutely stunning, Miss ______.”

⬩◈⬩

“My lady, this letter was addressed to you.”

You can only stare at the envelope in Ru’s hand. “Me?”

The seal carries the official symbol of the Fatui. Upon opening it, you are greeted with a familiar fragrance and an embossed sheet of stationery.

-

Miss ______,

I must thank you again for your hospitality. My time in Liyue was immensely enjoyable on account of having you as my personal guide.

My next business trip is scheduled to take place in two months’ time. Would you be so kind as to greet me once you receive word of my arrival?

Yours, Pantalone

P.S. A new boutique in Snezhnaya has recently caught my attention. I believe that these purchases will make a fine addition to your wardrobe.

-

“Ru?”

She tilts her head. “Yes?”

You hold up a pair of violet ribbons trimmed with black lace. “I would like to tie my hair. Any style will do.”

⬩◈⬩

During his next visit, you bring him to your favorite boutique.

“What do you think of this?” You hold up a Noctilucous Jade brooch this time. “I noticed you have a fondness for diamond patterns.”

Pantalone allows you to pin it on his shirt. “Are you a regular customer of this establishment, Miss ______? The employees seemed particularly familiar with you.”

“I am.” You take a step back and twirl around the room. “This shop specializes in clothing from different regions and time periods. I take great joy in styling my outfits.”

His gaze flits to your neck. “That explains your affinity for foreign necklines and vintage hanfu. Or is that simply to make room for your necklaces?”

You are wearing a heart-shaped locket this time. “I simply adore necklaces. They make beautiful statement pieces.”

The shopkeeper returns from the backroom. “Lady ______, I forgot to inform you that the brooch is part of a set. Would you or your friend like to try on the matching necklace?”

They open a velvet box. The silver chains and diamond-shaped jewels are arranged esclavage-style. It would look nice with your dress.

Pantalone turns to you. “Are you interested?”

You turn around, facing the mirror. “Can you help me put it on?”

His touch is warm. You remain still as Pantalone unclasps your locket and replaces it with the jade necklace. His fingertips press against the back of your neck.

“Does it look lopsided to you?” he asks.

“A bit.”

The main pendant is not centered. You raise your hands to adjust it, but Pantalone is already doing it. His hand trails across your clavicle.

His perfume is different. It smells the same but there is a hypnotic edge to it. Did they change the heart notes?

You are sure that Pantalone can feel your tail swishing between your bodies. “It looks okay now. Thank you.”

He meets your gaze in the mirror. “The necklace looks wonderful on you. I have no use for it, but I would like the brooch for myself.”

It suits him. “In that case, would you like to pay for the set together?”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Miss ______, you already asked the shopkeeper to set aside a few rings for you. What will your family say when they see the bill?”

“They don’t mind.”

If they cared, they would have encouraged thriftier interests.

“Whatever you say. How many more shops shall we visit? I cannot imagine that you brought me all the way to Liyue’s fashion district for a few jewels.”

“Oh, naturally. There are still so many stores to visit.”

You miss this. When will your friends find the time to revive your shopping trips?

You smile at him. “You are quite attractive, Lord Harbinger. It is fun to dress you up.”

“Hmph, flattery will get you nowhere.” Pantalone walks over to the counter and returns the brooch to its box. “But since it is coming from you, I will believe in your sincerity.”

⬩◈⬩

Your parents arrange another date between you and your fiancé.

“Sorry for being so busy lately. The Qie heiress and I have been negotiating business dealings with her family’s company.”

Just how stupid does he think you are?

You smile at him. “It’s perfectly fine.”

Chairman Jin is still staring at the menu. He holds your hand and you resist the urge to leave the table.

“Let me make it up to you. Are you busy later, love?”

You almost laugh at the sound of that word. “Not at all.”

“Would you like to visit my estate later? Our bedroom has already been furnished.”

Not again. Archons, spare you. “Sure. By the way, how is work lately?”

“The new enterprise is going along splendidly,” he replies. “The Regrator will be pleased with our progress.”

“I most certainly am.”

Speak of the devil.

The two of you look up. Pantalone offers a friendly smile.

“Miss ______, Chairman Jin, what a lovely surprise. Am I intruding on your date?”

You shake your head. “Not at all. Are you dining here with someone?”

“Unfortunately, my companion had to cancel at the last minute,” he explains.

“You can sit with us, if you want.” Chairman Jin thankfully lets go of your hand. “Wanmin Restaurant serves a variety of delicacies. We can order more if you are with us.”

“I appreciate the gesture. Do allow me to foot the bill.”

Pantalone drags a vacant chair to your table. The waitress arrives and you place your orders.

Chairman Jin begins speaking. “Regarding our most recent report—”

Pantalone cuts him off. “This is no formal meeting, Chairman Jin. It would be rude to talk business in a social situation, unless you plan to explain the details to Miss ______.”

He blanches. “Of course. My apologies, Lord Harbinger.”

It is difficult to suppress the smile on your face.

Pantalone turns to you. “It just occurred to me that despite our months of friendship, I know little about the two of you as a couple. How did your engagement come about?”

Stick with the story.

“Our families have been good friends for generations,” you explain. “Chairman Jin is the same age as me, but I spent most of my time with my childhood friends. Regardless, we fell in love when we least expected it.”

Love. What a cruel lie.

Pantalone nods. “What a charming story. I would not have expected it from you.”

“What about you, Lord Harbinger?” asks Chairman Jin. “I am surprised that an eligible bachelor such as yourself is still single. You have so many admirers.”

“Oh, me?” He straightens his glasses. The jewels on the chain glint under the light. “I already have my eye on someone, but I have yet to make them mine.”

What a lucky person.

Your fiancé nods. “Good for them. I wish you the best of luck.”

“Thank you.” Pantalone looks at your left hand. “By the way, Miss ______, I couldn’t help but notice your ring. Your sense of fashion is impeccable as always.”

“Oh, this?” You point at the ring on your index finger.

Normally, you would be happy with his observation. But not today.

“That is her engagement ring,” Chairman Jin explains. “I chose it for her.”

The ring is a thick gold band topped with a vibrant green jewel. If not for the basic design, you would like to wear it more often.

Pantalone leans in for a closer look. “What kind of gem is it?”

“Smaragdus Jadeite.” Chairman Jin gestures to his Dendro Vision. “A perfect match, isn’t it?”

“...A fine choice.” Pantalone sits back, a tad faster than his usual pace. His polite smile returns. “Only the best for your bride, after all.”

⬩◈⬩

A black cat interrupts your tour of Yujing Terrace.

“Oh, hello!” You crouch down in front of it, a string of purrs and meows leaving your lips.

The cat remains in its spot but responds with a high-pitched yowl.

From behind you, Pantalone laughs. “I almost forgot about your feline biology, Miss ______. Is it true that the Lai Lineage can communicate with fellow cats?”

You shake your head. “The Lai bloodline is already mixed with human blood, including that of my father. Aside from a few differences in biology, we are certainly more human than feline.”

If only you had that ability. The stray cats in your neighborhood would have made lovely company.

He is still standing over you. “And what of your species? Are feline hybrids classified under different breeds, similar to ordinary cats?”

“I would not know. I’ve heard of the Kätzlein Bloodline from Mondstadt; they are renowned hunters, so their genes must carry specific abilities and physical traits. Whereas the Lai Lineage has always been a family of businessmen and aristocrats. And we certainly lack the sacred powers or duties of the Adepti.”

You point at your ears. Your tail loosely wraps around Pantalone’s ankle.

“The rumors about our fur are true. My handmaiden always tells me that my ears and tail are incredibly fluffy. Given the shape and texture, I have reason to believe that we are more similar to domestic cats than wild felines.”

“That would be a logical conclusion.” Pantalone crouches down to poke the tip of your tail. He looks at the black cat. “The cat is a stray, isn’t it?”

You nod. “No collar, and its fur is quite matted. Poor thing.”

“We passed by a pet shop earlier. Would they take in the cat?”

“I doubt it. That establishment only sells purebreds and exotic breeds.”

“That is their loss. A common feline has its own charms.” Pantalone faces you. “What are your thoughts? Do you believe that a cat’s value is to be ascertained from the moment of its birth? In order to determine its desirability and its place in the world?”

He must really like cats.

“Not at all,” you reply. “I believe that any pet should be liked for its personality, not its breed or circumstances.”

“It is good that we see eye to eye on this matter.” He stands up and gestures for you to do the same. “I would like to continue my tour. We can buy some cat food for our little friend before we leave.”

iv. azurite

“A letter from my brother arrived this morning. He passed his thesis.”

“In other words, you and Chairman Jin will be married soon.”

“We still have two months to prepare for the wedding.”

Pantalone doesn’t look at you. “Congratulations. The wait is almost over.”

You stare at the ceiling. The crystal chandeliers resemble twinkling stars against the dark wallpaper. Whether it is his own mansion or rented property, Pantalone’s estate in Liyue is as grand and mystifying as its sole resident.

The living room is still strewn with board games and cold teacups. Pantalone had been merciless in every match, particularly those which featured strategies and mind games. You could only play along and lose to him.

“You are invited, of course.” You open your purse and take out the gold-sealed envelope. “I told my family that I would give this to you personally.”

He makes eye contact with you. “You do not look happy for a bride-to-be.”

Your ears twitch. “Perhaps I am just salty from our last game.”

Upright officials are hapless in household affairs.

He stares at your hand before accepting the invitation. “No engagement ring? I rarely see you wear it.”

You shrug. “It does not match all of my outfits. Chairman Jin doesn’t mind.”

“And here I was, thinking you might be looking out for my personal safety.”

“Are you pertaining to your lack of a Vision, Lord Harbinger?”

The room becomes silent.

Why did you say that?

Pantalone’s eyes flash. “The Fatui Harbingers are equipped with Delusions; but to state the obvious, the gods have never gifted me a Vision. Let us leave it at that.”

You hang your head. “That was absolutely tactless of me. I apologize.”

“Don’t worry, I know that your intentions were not malicious.” He glances at your hip. “What is the story behind your Vision?”

“I would rather not divulge the details,” you reply. “All I can say is that it happened during one of my birthdays.”

“It must have been quite the wonderful present, then.”

“You could say that.”

-

It happened shortly after you ended your “tantrum” over the news of your betrothal.

Your parents threatened to disown you. You realized that if independence was without financial comfort or luxury, you were better off taking advantage of your fiancé’s apathy.

Your Vision had been the perfect consolation prize. A gift unlike the material distractions from your family, one earned through your own individual abilities.

If only your family’s attention had not been due to their fear of your flames.

-

Your Vision glows against your belt, a ray of promise. The only special thing about you, forever deprived of its full potential.

“Thinking about it now, I do question the criteria for receiving a Vision,” you mutter. You turn to face him. “I respect you immensely, my lord. You are ambitious, multiskilled, and far more worthy of receiving a Vision than me. I am blessed to have you as my friend.”

For a moment, Pantalone only stares at you. Then he begins laughing.

“I am equally fortunate to have met you, ______. You never fail to amuse me.”

Your name sounds so lovely when he says it.

“Keep calling me that, please,”  you mutter. “After my marriage, fewer people will call me by my first name. I will be mainly addressed as Mrs. Jin in the future.”

“I understand.” Pantalone rests his hand on your shoulder, a warm smile on his face. “I should continue preparing my wedding gift. I have a feeling that you will enjoy it.”

⬩◈⬩

After the wedding invitation, Pantalone stops requesting your company. A short letter addressed to you explains his “influx of work and a mission from the Tsaritsa.” Your engagement ring becomes a frequent accessory over the next month.

Chairman Jin remains scarce. Your parents and future in-laws take charge of the wedding plans, from the program to the guest list to every decoration.

Your dress is delivered to your room, an old-fashioned garment which looks more like a costume. Your friends find time in their busy schedules to help you pick your jewelry.

Your final choice is a set of gold bangles studded with azurites.

⬩◈⬩

Your family is shouting.

“Ru.” You stand in the corridor, clutching your shopping bags. “What happened?”

Ru sends a nervous look to the other servants. “We are not sure, my lady. They have been like this ever since they returned from the office.”

You could hear them as soon as you stepped through the front door. The commotion is coming from your parents’ private study.

You knock on the door. Jiejie is the one who opens it.

“Jiejie.” You can’t look her in the eye. “Is something wrong?”

“Everything,” she huffs. “Why don’t you come inside?”

The room is a mess of papers and folders. Your parents look absolutely haggard.

Your tail puffs up. “What happened?”

Baba is the first to speak. “Your sister’s idea was a failure.”

What?

Jiejie glares at you. “Don’t ask for the details. You wouldn’t understand. Just know that we were doing well up until recently.”

“Recently,” Mama says bitterly, “when the past months were already plagued with minor incidents.”

You don’t understand. “How?”

“I don’t know!” she snaps. “All you need to know is that we are ruined once the Northland Bank demands their repayment. We plan to install locks on the doors, for Archon’s sake.”

“Are you sure? Have you spoken with the Regrator? I could…”

“Do what?” asks Jiejie. “Little ______, in case you have forgotten, your friend is a Fatui Harbinger. Do you think he will forget about this if you ask him nicely?”

You look away. “...No. But is there anything I could do to help?”

“You could stop burning away our fortune, for once.”

A slap would have been less painful.

“That is enough.” Baba gives you a tired look. “Just go to your room. Leave it to us to sort things out.”

“That is the problem!” Jiejie shouts. “The two of you spoil her too much. Do you think it is fun reviewing her receipts and watching her laze around the house?”

The two of them begin shouting again. Mama intervenes.

Even when you are the subject of the argument, none of them notice your departure.

⬩◈⬩

“My lady!”

Ru is the first to approach you.

You walk past her.

Your shopping bags are still in the corridor. What did you buy again? A dress imported from Fontaine. A ribbon for your tail.

Useless.

Ru takes a step back. “My lady, your—!”

The paper and fabric burn easily. You let the ashes slip through your fingers and scatter onto the carpet. Mama will scold you once she sees the mess.

Regardless of what happens, you are still moving out of this house.

The night sky is cloudy. There are no bright stars to greet you.

“Ru.”

“Y…Yes, my lady?” She remains in the entrance, staring fearfully at your Vision.

“Please prepare a carriage. I would like to see the Regrator.”

v. shivada jade

The estate is heavily guarded compared to your last visit.

“My lord!” The masked servant—no, Fatui agent—kneels before the door. “You have a visitor!”

The door to Pantalone’s office remains closed.

“State their name and purpose.”

There is an authoritative edge to his voice. The agent glances at you.

“Your visitor is Lai ______. She was insistent on meeting you to discuss her family business.”

Warm light spills from the open doorway.

Pantalone is wearing his classic outfit, another dark suit embellished with violet jewels and silver adornments. He looks perfect, not a hair out of place.

“______, I’ve been expecting you.”

Your tail wraps around your waist. “You have?”

“I figured that you would come to me for answers. Your family does not strike me as the type to share business details with their own child.”

The scent of his perfume is soothing. You had almost forgotten that aroma.

Pantalone places a hand on your shoulder. “You look terrible, darling. Why don’t you come inside and make yourself comfortable first?”

“Thank you.”

The office is tidy. The cozy atmosphere is a welcome change from your parents’ study.

Though you rarely visit it to begin with. That room could be in perpetual disorder and you wouldn’t have noticed the difference.

Pantalone gestures to the chair in front of his desk. “Sit. Would you like something to drink? I had just told a servant to brew a pot of osmanthus tea for me.”

You take a seat. “That would be nice.”

The desk holds an abacus, some pens, and a stack of reports weighed down by bright blue jewels. Shivada jade slivers, you think.

Pantalone’s chair is almost thronelike, made of upholstered dark fabric and intricately carved wood. As he sits down, you can easily imagine just how terrifying and powerful the sight must be for anyone else in your place.

You are not here to negotiate business with the Regrator, however.

There is a knock on the door.

“My lord, your tea is ready.”

“You may enter.”

The door opens. Another Fatui agent bows and places a traditional tea set on the desk. They carefully pick up the teapot and fill two cups.

Pantalone turns to them. “You are dismissed. Unless the matter is of utmost importance, my meeting shall not be disturbed.”

The sharp look in his eyes is enough to scare you. You had almost forgotten that your friend is a Fatui Harbinger.

“Yes, my lord.” They leave immediately.

The osmanthus tea is wasted on you. You can only manage a few sips before you put down your cup.

“Thank you for your hospitality. I…I don’t know why I came here.”

Pantalone’s gaze is sympathetic. “How is everything at home?”

“Not good.” You grip your tail. “Can you tell me what is going on?”

“Certainly.” He opens a folder and flips through the documents. “Simply put, the Jin-Lai enterprise has been a financial failure. On top of low profit and revenue, there have been recurring issues. Shipments gone missing, payment miscalculations, and most recently, the withdrawal of several major clients.”

“I didn’t think it was that bad,” you mumble. “My family had been so confident about the proposal. You even decided to fund it.”

“Even the most meticulous can fall prey to happenstance. Your family just so happened to be unlucky—or incompetent.”

No wonder they kept you in the dark.

Pantalone looks up from the folder. “I hate to break client confidentiality, but I believe you should know this: The Jin family is struggling financially to a far greater degree.”

“I see. That…they must be so anxious.”

“I am more concerned about you.” He holds your hand across the desk. “At this rate, both your family and your future in-laws are set for financial ruin. And this does not account for their debt to the Northland Bank.”

You squeeze his hand. “And if we find a way to pay off the loans?”

“Even then, your wealth could not possibly be restored to their former glory.” He says it with full confidence, leaving no room for doubt.

No more shopping trips or material consolations. You will only become a bigger burden to your family.

Your cheeks are wet. You don’t know how long you have been crying.

“You poor thing.”

Soft silk presses against your face. You accept the handkerchief.

“Thank you for telling all of this. I…I don’t know why you are still so kind to me,” you sniffle. “I can’t give you anything to repay the favor or to help my family.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. As a matter of fact, I can offer a solution to one of your problems.”

You look up in confusion.

Pantalone is looking at you differently.

“I will confess that you have intrigued me over the past year,” he tells you. “You are quite the captivating jewel, ______, but your value is clearly underestimated by your family and your fiancé.”

Your tail puffs up. “What exactly do you mean by that?”

Pantalone is still holding your hand. He intertwines your fingers.

“I am asking you to become my wife.”

What?

“Lord Harbinger,” you stutter. “This is not a funny joke.”

His gaze narrows. “Do you take me for the type to joke about the marriage contract?”

“No!” you reply quickly. “I just…I don’t understand. Why me? You just said that my family owes you money and has no chance of paying it back. Shouldn’t you at least discuss this with my parents first?”

What could you possibly give him?

“Oh, ______. Do you still not get it?” He speaks slowly, as though he is teaching you a basic fact. “I am proposing to you, not the Lai family. Is that so difficult to comprehend?”

You nod. He sighs and lets go of your hand.

“Then think about it from your perspective. What do you gain from this?”

Financial stability. A partner who actually cherishes your presence.

“You, of all people, know of my status as the Regrator,” he continues. “I can provide you with comfort and luxury far beyond your current means. If you become mine, everything you desire will be yours.”

There must be a catch. This is too good to be true.

“And what would be my duties as a Harbinger’s spouse?” you ask.

“In my case, you will attend the occasional social function as my partner. But for the most part, you only have to live with me in my estate in Snezhnaya.”

It does not sound too bad. Not too different from your current situation.

His lips quirk into a smirk. “There are also your marital duties but that should not be a problem since you already find me, in your words, ‘attractive.’”

You cover your face. “Please don’t—! I am still trying to process everything.”

“You would be wise to make a quick decision, ______. Time is of the essence, and opportunities like this rarely arise.”

You look up.

Pantalone’s hands are clasped together and he is staring at you, waiting for your answer.

At this rate, he is the only person who will ever want you.

Your hands are trembling. You grip your tail and put on your best smile.

“In that case…I accept your offer. Thank you for your benevolence, my lord.”

He smiles. “Excellent. I knew that you would see reason.”

Despite yourself, you feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

“Is there a contract I need to sign?” you ask. “Anything to make this official?”

“We can sign the marriage documents later. But for now…” Pantalone stands up and leaves his desk. “...why not seal it with a kiss? It is best to familiarize ourselves with each other before our wedding.”

“If that is what you want.” You leave your chair and stand in front of him. “Um, how would you like to do this? Do you have any preferences? Eyes closed or open? With or without—?”

“Oh, ______.” He laughs and pulls you closer. The only thing protecting you from his gaze is his glasses. “Just let me take care of you.”

With that, he presses his lips against yours.

The kiss is anything but demure. As soon as you pull away for air, Pantalone reclaims your mouth is a rough manner. His hand cups the back of your head, the other one settling on your waist.

You are practically drowning in his perfume. He isn’t giving you a chance to escape.

“My lord!”

Whoever they are, this Fatui agent seems important enough to open the door without permission. They kneel immediately.

Pantalone breaks off the kiss and glares at them. “Were you not informed that interruptions would not be tolerated?”

This is the first time you have seen him look so openly irritated.

They hold up a sealed envelope. “I bear a message from the Jester.”

Pantalone sighs. He is still holding you, and you know better than to establish any distance from him.

“Leave it on my desk,” he tells them. “Before you retire for the night, pass on a message to the Lai family. Tell them that their daughter will be staying in my estate as a guest and that they may see her at our wedding next month.”

Next month?

You clutch his arm. “Wait, isn’t that too soon?”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Is there a problem with that?”

“People will talk.” You stare at the floor, tail between your legs. “They will question the cancellation of my old engagement and the timing of our wedding. They may even suspect that you were already courting me over the past year.”

He only laughs.

“My darling, I am one of the richest, most powerful men in Teyvat.” He grasps your chin and gives you a light kiss. “My status will not be threatened by a few silly rumors.”

vi. noctilucous jade

Your wedding is completely different from your parents’ original plan. The color scheme features violet accents. Fatui personnel are hired as security. The guest list includes important names from Snezhnaya and other regions.

Your main piece of jewelry is the Noctilucous Jade necklace purchased from your favorite boutique. Pantalone is just as touchy when he helps you put it on.

“Did you ask my family for it? Was it awkward?”

You are still getting used to your reflection. The custom-designed wedding dress is the most beautiful outfit you have ever worn, with its elegant silhouette and detailed embroidery. Your hair is styled with black satin ribbons.

It is almost unfair how dashing Pantalone looks in the traditional attire for Liyue bridegrooms. He is wearing the Noctilucous Jade brooch along with his usual violet jewels.

“They showed no animosity,” he replies.

To him. You are a different story.

After a short pause, he adds, “There is no need for you to return to their house. Your necessary possessions have already been packed.”

Your ears twitch. “What do you mean by necessary?”

“Sentimental items. The clothes and accessories which seemed particularly important to you.” Pantalone secures the clasp of the necklace and adjusts the pendants. “I can buy a new wardrobe for you in Snezhnaya. We can visit the shopping districts together.”

“...All right. My family can just resell my things. The money will help them immensely and you won’t have to deal with extra luggage.”

Has the necklace always felt this constrictive?

Pantalone’s hands move to your tail, securing the ribbon bow. “Your tail has been erratic all day. Pre-wedding jitters?”

“More like reunion jitters,” you reply. “After all, I am seeing my family and high society for the first time in a month.”

“You will be fine.” He meets your gaze in the mirror. “For a second, I assumed you were having second thoughts about marrying me.”

⬩◈⬩

The ceremony goes smoothly. You and Pantalone are officially proclaimed as spouses. The Flower Ball is caught by Xingqiu. Guests approach you to congratulate you on your marriage.

He was right. Everyone is acting as though your original engagement never existed. If anything, you are receiving more attention as the Regrator’s wife.

While Pantalone chats with business associates, you approach your friends. They are happy for you, if not confused by the change in your situation. Their wedding gifts include long-sleeved dresses and fur-lined coats for the Snezhnaya fashion scene.

You belatedly realize that your meetups will become even more infrequent. At least you finally have your own responsibilities to keep you preoccupied.

Towards the end of the event, your family privately approaches you and Pantalone. Your brother’s presence is what breaks some of the tension.

“Gege.” You leave Pantalone’s side to hug him. “It is good to see you again. How long has it been? Ten years?”

He looks so different, dark eye circles included. You saw his wedding gift earlier; you will enjoy trying on the gold princess-length necklace from Sumeru.

“Nine. You’re all grown up.” His tail intertwines with yours. “Sadly, I have to return to Sumeru immediately. I accepted a job offer after…what happened. Are you well?”

“I haven’t felt better.” You turn to the others. “How are all of you?”

“You don’t need to worry about us,” is all your mother tells you. She gives Pantalone a stilted smile. “Lord Harbinger, our child will be in your care.”

Baba does not even look at you. “Thank you for the generous dowry, my lord. It was unimaginable, considering our circumstances.”

Pantalone only smiles at him. “Oh, please. You must learn to differentiate a debtor’s kindness from a son-in-law’s observance of tradition. By the way, is Chairman Jin in attendance?”

He was invited?

“He isn’t,” says Jiejie. Her ears twitch. “I spoke with him recently. Given the timing of your union, he felt betrayed—his words, not mine.”

The audacity. “That is too bad.”

“Well, that is quite rich coming from him,” says Pantalone, “given that my wife was not the first to breach the pre-marriage contract. It can be argued that infidelity is a far greater violation.”

He knew?

You stare at him. You vaguely register your brother’s questions and the others’ silence.

Pantalone only shrugs. “He was hardly inconspicuous.”

⬩◈⬩

In the month leading up to your wedding, Pantalone was gracious enough to provide you with a guest room in his estate. His own bedchambers are far from comfortable.

“My darling, there is no need to look so afraid.” His smile does not match his gaze. “One would think that I am about to ruin you.”

Why do you feel more like his prey in this moment?

The candles and rose petals do little to comfort you. The dim light casts dark shadows against Pantalone’s figure and sets his eyes aglow. He looks like a beautiful devil, alluring and ominous all the same.

You dig your nails into the mattress. “Forgive me, my lord. It is our first time, after all.”

His thumb traces swirls on your thigh. “Haven’t I waited long enough?”

He was already impatient in the days leading up to your wedding night. Somehow, the heavy makeouts and fleeting touches were still insubstantial preparation for you.

Your tail curls. “You have. My apologies.”

Your Vision rests on the nightstand, the only other source of light in the room. You wonder if it will look good with your new outfits in Snezhnaya.

Pantalone’s next gesture is more comforting, if not sudden. Your reaction is half yelp, half purr. He only laughs and continues scratching the base of your ear.

“Are you purring? And you claimed to be more human than feline.” His words are cruel and sweet. “Does this help?”

“It…it does.” You look up, biting back another purr. “Can we kiss, please?”

“Of course.”

The kiss is passionate as always. Flavored lip balm. Heavy perfume. The chain of his glasses grazing your skin. Gloved hands wandering, cold rings leaving goosebumps in their wake. Your own gasps and pleas for air. A laugh and a kind smile when he decides that he has had enough.

He is greedy. So, so greedy. Yet he always gives as much as he takes.

“My precious jewel.” Pantalone’s eyes are half-lidded. The smile on his face is equal parts angelic and sinful. “After all this time, you are finally mine. Won’t you indulge me?”

⬩◈⬩

“Pantalone, that is enough. My ears are already clean.”

“Are you sure?” He strokes the back of your ear, sending another shiver down your spine. “I am only being thorough. This is my first time grooming a cat, after all.”

You stare at the water. “Please stop teasing me.”

The bubble bath is an unexpected luxury. After all of the kind words and intimate touches, it was your husband’s insistence on proper aftercare which made you cry from the sheer gravity of his affection.

You were equally dazed by the sight of the Regrator with his glasses off and his hair clipped up. But before you could fully appreciate his domestic beauty, he had insisted on scrubbing your back.

“Do we have anything planned tomorrow?” you ask. “What about our honeymoon?”

He moves on to your tail. “I have to continue my work in Snezhnaya. We may have a long vacation once I am less busy.”

Busy. “Of course. I’d like to get used to our home as soon as possible.”

“Your tail is shaking. Are you still nervous?”

“Why do you ask when you already know the answer?”

The thought of the future terrifies you.

You had been prepared for the Jin family mansion in Yujing Terrace, not an unfamiliar manor located all the way in Snezhnaya. You had been raised for Liyue high society, and now you must learn to fit in with a completely different crowd. Your years of local etiquette lessons were a waste.

No mistakes. As the Regrator’s wife, you must be perfect.

He places his hand on top of yours. “Don’t work yourself up over this. I will be with you every step of the way.”

“Thank you. I will be in your care.”

Underneath his fine gloves and fancy rings, Pantalone’s hands are slightly rough. Your fingertips brush against his bare skin, feeling the calluses and light scars.

He tenses. “Your hand is so soft.”

“I can lend you my hand cream later.”

“I doubt that it will change anything.” He takes your hand and lifts it to his lips. “This is lovely. I can get used to doing this regularly.”

You shift your legs under the water. The bubbles disperse, and you catch a glimpse of the love bites decorating your thighs.

He had been cloying and relentless all night. The bath isn’t helping your sensitive state.

“I would appreciate it if you could be more gentle,” you admit. Your face burns. “You were quite…intense.”

His teeth dig into your skin.

You gasp. When you turn your head, Pantalone is still holding your wrist and there is a ringlike bite mark around your index finger. His smile is far from innocent.

“I just need to train your body for that.”

vii. sango pearl

The Regrator’s manor in Snezhnaya is palatial. The local architecture, dark and light color palette, and classy decorations create an ambience which is both subdued and exquisite. The veneer of refinement is unlike the opulence of his estate in Liyue.

Despite his moments of extravagance, your husband has a calculated eye for this. Perhaps you can send some pictures to your family.

The staff contribute to the mysterious atmosphere. They all wear masks, from the guards to the domestic help to your two personal handmaidens. They keep themselves scarce and answer only to your husband’s commands.

Ru will be sorely missed. Hopefully, she has already found a new family to work for.

The doors and gates are always locked for security reasons. You will have to get used to that as well.

⬩◈⬩

You quickly learn the full extent of Pantalone’s responsibilities. From the Northland Bank to Snezhnaya’s economic policies to his Fatui missions, he is always working.

“I’m home.” He shrugs off his fur coat and kisses your forehead. “How was your day?”

You wrap your arms around him, breathing in the scent of his perfume. “It was all right.”

Dull, to say the least.

What are your friends’ day-to-day activities? Yuehua is leading her family business. Yinji is in charge of her household’s affairs. Liangqu is a full-time parent to her baby.

Pantalone expects none of those tasks from you. While he is at work, you spend the long hours styling your Snezhnaya lookbook, taking naps in your empty bed, and experimenting with your Vision. You rarely have any social functions to attend.

At times, you feel more like a pet than a wife.

“______, you are a terrible liar.” His hand cradles your face. “If you feel lonely or neglected, you should tell me. I will make time for you.”

You lean into his touch. “Thank you. I wish I could do more for you.”

Pantalone hugs you back. His hand squeezes the fluff of your tail. “My priceless treasure, you worry too much.”

⬩◈⬩

Your new wardrobe is an elegant mix of blacks and violets. Every outfit is delicate and tight-fitting, prioritizing form over function. Picking your jewelry is the most difficult part.

“What do you think of this?”

You turn away from the mirror. The Sango Pearl necklace is an old gift from Liangqu. The warm tint adds color to your otherwise dark outfit.

Pantalone is already fully dressed. “Unoriginal, don’t you think? We are attending one of the most important galas in Snezhnaya. Every other guest will be wearing pearls.”

Your ears lower. “Of course.”

You have an image to maintain as the Regrator’s wife.

“I have a better suggestion.” He unclasps your necklace and sets a black velvet box on your vanity table.

“Another gift?” You shake your head. “You are too generous, my lord.”

He only smiles. “As lovely as your wedding ring is, I thought a one-of-a-kind piece would make a bolder statement. I had it commissioned for you.”

“Just for me?”

Nestled inside the box is a silver choker with sharp, intricate designs and violet diamond-shaped jewels. A scattering of purple flecks adds a bright pop of color—what kind of crystal particles? Amethyst? Crystal marrow?

“It’s gorgeous!” you exclaim. “This must have cost you a fortune.”

“I spared no expense.” He picks up the choker and clasps it around your neck.

It is a perfect fit. You smile at him in the mirror.

It even matches his signature jewelry. You are beginning to look the part of his wife.

Pantalone looks just as pleased. “It looks beautiful on you. Your outfit is almost perfect.”

You frown at your reflection. “What do you mean by ‘almost’?”

“It is only a minor detail,” he assures you. He points at your belt. “Your Vision clashes with the color scheme. That is all.”

⬩◈⬩

Pantalone leaves for a mission in Liyue. You stay in Snezhnaya.

It would have been a good chance to see your family and friends, but your suggestion was rejected immediately.

-

“This is a mission, not an ordinary business trip. I do not have the time for leisurely visits,” he had told you.

You kept your mouth shut after that.

On the day of his departure, Pantalone bid you goodbye with a kiss and locked the front door. From the balcony, you watched him leave the estate.

He looked up and waved at you before entering his carriage. That was all it took for you to smile and mark your calendar.

-

You are becoming restless in his absence, however.

You ask the guards if a private shopping trip would be permitted. They refuse.

Your handmaidens remain silent. One of them is a mousy little thing who can barely hide her fear of you. Her hands are always trembling as she clasps and unclasps your jewelry.

She rarely touches your necklaces. You wear your special choker on most days.

A week into the mission, she approaches you with a letter sent from Liyue. Your smile falters when she informs you that it is from Pantalone.

Your friends and family haven’t sent any letters. Have they forgotten about you?

The stationery is heavily scented with his perfume. Enclosed in it is a black hair ribbon.

-

My dearest ______,

How are you? As of now, my mission is progressing smoothly. During my travels, I purchased some magnificent gifts for you and the Tsaritsa. Expect a package to be delivered to the manor shortly.

You must be curious about the state of affairs in Liyue. According to my informants, your family has moved to a smaller estate and is steadily paying off their debt. Your friends are doing well, albeit they appear to be quite busy with their own personal matters.

Try not to worry too much. I will return to you as soon as possible.

Love, Pantalone

-

You stare at the final line, repeating the first word in your head. Then you take out your stationery set and write a response.

You can’t find the heart to feign mutuality. You end it with, “Sincerely, ______.”

viii. electro crystal

After much pleading, you are finally allowed to visit Zapolyarny Palace.

“Are you bored?” Pantalone puts down his pen and pets your ears. “I told you that I would only be doing desk work.”

You shake your head. “I am perfectly fine. It is nicer than waiting at home.”

You have to question his request of having you seated on his lap, however.

Your husband’s workplace is even more labyrinthine than your family’s office. The atmosphere is chilly and serious. You know better than to leave his side.

His office is comfortable, though. A spark of warmth filled your chest when you noticed your framed picture on his desk.

“Lord Harbinger!”

The door slams open. A Fatui officer rushes inside and kneels.

Pantalone’s hand presses down your ear. “Is it so difficult to knock first?”

You stare at your lap. You still haven’t gotten used to the sight of his glare.

Their head nearly touches the floor. “Forgive me, my lord! But the Jester summons all of the Harbingers for an urgent meeting.”

You feel your husband’s sigh before you hear it.

“Can you wait here? It is best that you don’t get involved.”

“Of course.”

You leave his lap. He stands up and puts on his fur coat.

“I will come back once the meeting is over,” he promises. He squeezes your shoulder, thumb brushing against your choker.

You nod and take the adjacent chair. “Take care.”

Pantalone turns to the officer. “Guard the door. Should anyone enter and bother my wife, there will be immediate repercussions.”

“Yes, my lord!”

They leave the office. The door closes.

You glance at the desk. There is a stack of folders which have yet to be organized. Perhaps you can finally help your husband with something.

Based on the reports you’ve seen him sign at home, the documents need to be arranged by date. It is an easy task, and you go through it quickly. His smile will make for the best reward.

Feiyun Commerce Guild.

You pause. Wasn’t that guild one of the main clients of your family’s enterprise?

No sign of incoming footsteps. You open the folder.

The documents are incomprehensible. Numbers, statistics, business terms which your parents had never bothered to teach you. Your family’s business is mentioned a few times.

There is an envelope amongst the papers. The seal is already broken.

-

Lord Harbinger,

After reading your report, the Feiyun Commerce Guild agrees with your predictions regarding the future of the Jin-Lai enterprise. We will cancel our partnership effectively.

-

What?

You read the rest of the letter. Xingqiu’s father goes on to mention the responses of the other clients. The letter is dated three weeks before they officially withdrew their investment.

This can’t be…Jiejie was right. You can’t understand any of these business terms.

You check the other folders. None of them mention your family.

The bookcase. You check the shelved reports, scanning for any familiar names. At the end of the top shelf, concealed by the adjacent book, you find a folder entitled “Lai Family.”

You still don’t understand any of the documents, but the first few graphs show upwards curves and positive predictions. The next few papers are calculations and lists of hypothetical worst-case scenarios.

No, all of those scenarios happened. And it is all written in Pantalone’s handwriting.

The remaining graphs show downward curves and negative numbers. At the end of the folder, there are more notes written in familiar penmanship.

Why is there private information on your family?

Your family history. A personality study on your parents and Jiejie. A brief mention of Gege’s studies in Sumeru. Entire pages dedicated to you, with a note on Chairman Jin.

Your hands are shaking. Your tail wraps around your waist.

Your husband…he caused your family’s downfall. To get to you.

⬩◈⬩

“After her!”

Another Fatui officer begins chasing you. You dash down the corridor, narrowly dodging their tackle. It is difficult to run in your dress and heels, but you persist.

Guard the door? No, their job was to keep you locked inside.

A new recruit blocks the exit. A Cryo Cicin Mage from the looks of it.

All of your pursuers have actively avoided harming you, but she could freeze you immobile. You have to attack.

No harmless red threads this time. You direct a flurry of orange flames at her, but she skillfully dodges it.

Your neck hurts.

Did you confuse the mage for her Electro counterpart? You feel as though electric currents are shooting through your neck. The pain is unbearable.

It is the final shock which knocks you out.

⬩◈⬩

The first you thing you register is the shackles on your wrists.

Thick silver cuffs chained to the bedposts, decorated with violet jewels.

The bed is familiar. Your pillow and blankets.

The aroma of perfume is overpowering.

“I was wondering when you would wake up. Did you sleep well?”

Pantalone.

He is seated at the foot of the bed, holding your Vision. He lifts it up to the window, watching it glow in the faint moonlight.

“So this is the gods’ blessing I was deprived of,” he muses. “It is less impressive up close. I may just prefer my own Delusion.”

Give it back.

Pantalone moves to your side.

“I have to give it to Sandrone,” he says. “She used just the right concentration of Electro Crystals to avoid any explosions. She made quite the effective shock collar, didn’t she?”

Your choker.

Your neck still hurts. The shackles make soft rattling noises as you sit up.

“Let…let me go,” you stutter. “You…”

His gaze is absolutely terrifying. You can’t get the words out of your mouth.

“And to think that I would later appreciate Pulcinella’s suggestion for a half-day rest,” he says. His hand reaches out to pet your ear.

You flinch. “Stay away from me! You…you ruined my family. To get me to marry you.”

“Honestly, ______,” he says, placing your Vision on the nightstand. “Cute as you are, I am surprised that it took you this long to discover the truth. But I suppose that perceptiveness is simply not your strong suit.”

His kiss is aggressive. He holds your face and bites your lip when you struggle.

You resist, anyway. Your tail swats his glasses. “No! Stay away or I’ll—”

“Or you’ll do what?” Pantalone pulls away from you and picks up his glasses. “Be rational, darling. What can you do?”

He taps your clavicle. The pain is immediate.

“Your family is at my mercy. All of your assets are under my name. And from what I’ve seen, you are utterly incapable of taking care of yourself. So tell me, ______, how do you plan to leave me?”

You don’t know.

Everything he says is right. You only know how to take, never give. And how could you be so selfish as to ruin your family any further?

You look away, blinking back tears. Pantalone presses his handkerchief against your cheek.

“Shh, it’s all right,” he tells you. “You are safe with me.”

There is no kindness to be found in his smile.

“You are my most valuable possession, after all.”

♡

Read the continuation ft. Pantalone’s POV!!

Read the Author’s Note after Part 2!!

The rest of the story will take a darker turn and cover more of Pantalone’s tactics. What will become of Darling’s happy marriage?? Just how cruel can the Regrator be?? Find out now  ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

Absjsnaajanaaha I hope you all enjoyed Housecat!! It took up even more time and pain than Herbarium, but I’m happy with how I portrayed Pantalone’s manipulative side. The sexual tension and spice are a testament to just how thirsty I was while writing this ;-;

Tag a Pantalone enjoyer!! @shumidehiro @dear-yandere @harmonysanreads @theinnerunderrain @petrichorium @pantowone @northcafe @aluraveil @frostedclementine @teabutmakeitazure @xreaderarchive @uhhhh-hi-im-sorry-for-this @shadowthief78 @zhxnglii @lambdrop

[mychlapci]

Im supposed to be going to sleep bc I just got off night shift so sorry if incoherent or with errors but I was just struck by the thought, as per that last ask I sent with megaratchlock + hot rod (I'm also hyped youre writing something - lets both feed this absolute rarepair)

But yeah so:

Hot Rod taken in by the decepticons bc his ass got grabbed too and I mentioned in the tags of my rb that he would just claim he can totally top megatron too

Hot Rod, convinced hes gotta be some kinda milf magnet now: trust me. This is for the War Effort. Prime will even give me a medal if I can slow down the Decepticon advancement by knocking Megatron up

Ratchet, who just spent the last 3 hours convincing Megatron not to kill Hot Rod bc he's just a young and dumb bot doing his best to be helpful to him and Deadlock/Drift due to them both being sparked: you WILL die

Hot Rod: what a way to go tho 😩 bet its tight

Ratchet: youre going to die because IM going to kill you-

And Megatron is... Considering Hot Rod because hey he's already got the autobot medic sparked, why not keep going- (and Ratchet def asks if the new Decepticon plan is to just knock up every autobot he can)

So for a while Megatron and Hot Rod are just kinda 🤼 at each other bc both refuse to back down.

But because Megatron went and pulled an absolutely INSANE stunt like openly breaking into an autobot base, kidnapping a defector, the already carrying medic and Hot Rod, high command are freaking out. V much clashing with the whole /freedom/ part of OP's motto. So Megatron has gotta go deal with that.

And enters the dark horse: Soundwave

Bc if he had hair he'd be tearing it out after the shit Megatron has pulled with TWICE kidnapping Ratchet and now additionally Hot Rod. And SOMEONE had to be looking after Deadlock's sparkling when he had "defected" bc obv Megatron was busy planning to get his mates back.

And now he's stuck monitoring the two autobots they've got in the base whilst Megatron is away, one of which is about to pop out ANOTHER sparkling he'll have to care for.

And of course reckless Hot Rod just HAS to frustrate Soundwave with his antics because fuck being spied on to the point it reaches a boiling point and

Ratchet, bed bound bc that sparkling will come any day now: have you seen Hot Rod anywhere?

Deadlock, happily tending to his sparkling: hm. About an hour ago? He was at the command centre making new cassettes with Soundwave

Ratchet: what?... WHAT?!

All to say that nothing has disproven Hot Rod's milf magnet theory (even tho he'll shortly be joining the club)

Hot Rod has exactly 0 fucking self-preservation instinct in this scenario and I love it. But tbh getting to spike both of Megatron’s sparked up mates and not getting punt into the ground by Megatron’s fists afterwards would make a mech feel special. 

He is so convinced he’s gotta knock up Megatron now. And he definitely isn’t very subtle about it, which amuses Megatron greatly and now he’s actually considering sparkling up Hot Rod as well, because he already has two mates, and he could always keep three by his side. Deadlock and Ratchet already seem to be fond of the kid, after all… Of course nothing happens between them for a loooong time because they’re too stubborn and also Ratchet and Deadlock keep getting in the way. 

I love Soundwave coming in. He’s already lost all faith in Megatorn’s sanity the moment he had the medic tend to a sparked up Deadlock for the first time, now he’s pretty sure that siring coding had turned Megatron into a loose cannon and what’s worse is that he’s forced to babysit his sparklings when Megatron is gone and his mates are too exhausted by their own carrying. I think this is where Hot Rod steps in because he’s not knocked up (yet) and he’s pretty sure Soundwave is spying on him anyways, so why not shove himself into his face, if he’s so fucking persistent? Cue Hot Rod doing something incredibly stupid, such as trying to knock up Soundwave, since the Megatron thing didn’t seem to work out, and Soundwave is very willing to have a good hate-fuck. Damn Hot Rod, he gets why Megatron’s stupid boyfriends have chosen him, kid knows how to pump a mech full of transfluid…

Honestly, Megatron and Hot Rod are now in a race of how many members of the enemy faction they can impregnate before the war ends… Megatron gets one up on Hot Rod though, because oops, you know he knocks Hot Rod up. Now he’s in the early stages, Ratchet had just popped out his first, and Deadlock is about to have his second.

Add a knocked up Soundwave and soon enough Megatron gets to sleep surrounded by four pregnant bellies… Call that a lucky sire.

[apprenticestanheight]

Imagine rimming/pegging Adam for the first time and hes all sarcastic and sassy like convinced he wont really like it even saying youre a perv (like the smart ass he is), then the second you start hes whimpering like a bitch and spreading his legs and begging for more <3

Pegging Adam Stanheight Headcanons + blurb

OH MY GOD ANON thank you for opening the floodgates with this one. It feels like it's been AGES since I last wrote for Adam (i've spent a lot of my time focused on an AU with Lawrence and trying to get a couple ideas for other characters to work on on my off days lol) and writing a fic involving pegging just felt like the right move to make so--here's this??

I also also also am SUPER SORRY for how long this has taken--if you've looked at my blog since I started last week, you'd know I work a really fuckin weird rotating schedule and twelve hour days. This has been marinating in my inbox since before I started working, however, and before then I was just demotivated and so anxious it borderlined upon debilitating. I really hope you enjoy this one and that it makes up for the time you spent waiting for it to come out. Also hope you're okay with headcanons and a little bit of a blurb as the fic format, as it made more sense mentally for me to do it that way.

Fic type - this one is SMUT!! y'all should know what that means by now, too--minors, GO AWAY!! This fic is for those 18+ and if I see you interacting I will not hesitate with my bestie, the block button.

Warnings - pegging, praise, begging, the use of a strap-on, I wanted to get this out today so it's also unedited, and again, MDNI!!

All right, to start, you are the one who finds it interesting first. You spend a solid week wherein all of your horniest thoughts consist of Adam pinned to the bed beneath you, one of your hands holding his chin while he whimpers bc the strap-on you're using is so big and you're moving at a pace that's so slow he almost hates it.

Adam finds it mildly interesting--he's thought about it once, decided he might not like it but also decides to bring it up to you one random night bc you're both high, exhausted, and horny.

So, now you're wondering how it gets brought up, right?

WHHAAAAAAAAAAALEEEEEE, Adam brings it up half asleep, when you're both in the aforementioned state of high and horny and also very exhausted.

"How would you feel about pegging, baby?" and then you're pulling him close bc he's not close enough (his chin is tucked into the crook of your neck and you can smell the mint and cigarettes that he emanates even when he's not smoking. You just want to meld yourself to him bc when you get high, yeah time ceases to be something you believe in but when you're high with Adam you're the clingiest person Jersey ever did see)

and you're saying "yeah, that would be fun, Adam," bc it has consumed your thoughts wholly for a solid two or three weeks by then, but you're wanting to be chill about it.

both of you are completely out to the world like, five minutes thereafter.

It does, however, get brought up the next night. He agrees to it pretty easily, says that the two of you can try it the next time you have sex and if neither of you like it then that's that, and if he doesn't like it, then you respect his boundaries enough to respect that about him.

You buy a strap-on on a compete whim from a sex shop near your apartment on a random wednesday, buy lube that day too bc sex safety and all.

Both of them wind up being used on a friday night, when Adam is stressed bc post-saw vet school has taken it's toll and if he has to study one more minute, he'll lose his mind.

You have dom/sub dynamics in the sexual aspect of your bedroom and both of you are switches, and Adam asks if you have the necessary things to peg him and laughs when your face just lights up at the idea.

You prep him, and the entire time that goes on, Adams like "I'm unsure about how this'll feel, but if it's not my thing, meh. I don't think I'll like it but trying it will have been decent, at least."

AND THEN YOU START

and Adam is still thinking he's probably not gonna enjoy it as much as you will.

"When did you become such a perv, baby?" is said by him in a few different variations when you're prepping + rimming him. It eggs you on and he knows that, wants whatever comes with it.

And then, you actually start pegging him--the strap-on you bought is a fairly large eight inches in length, a fairly thick girth, and blue just because, and seeing him beneath you is probably akin to seeing the handsomest man to ever exist?? maybe??

SO ANYWAY, you start, and Adam goes from thinking he won't really like it to needing you to bottom out like, instantly. He likes how it feels to be split open in that way, doesn't so much as TRY to hold back his moans.

He does try to look away, though--he's loud and proud of it but also somewhat embarrassed bc he's not really one to be submissive in the relationship (you work in marketing and deal with people all day so you come home wanting to be fucked into thoughtlessness more than he)

you, however, don't let him, and when you push into him another inch and a half, he moans lewdly while staring directly at you. it's one of the hottest things you've ever seen.

When you finally bottom out, pressing a kiss to the sweet spot on his neck as one of your hands goes to his cock, Adam is feeling so amazing that he's convinced he'll start seeing stars.

You've heard Adam beg but a few times since you'd started dating, and it's been amazing every single time.

That night, he begs so much that you're sure you could bottle it and use it to get black-out drunk, should you have pleased.

He spreads his legs a bit more to let you have better access and moans when you start from a different but better angle.

He becomes a mess SO QUICKLY TOO IT'S THE FUCKING HOTTEST THING

all in all?? pegging him is one of the best decisions you could've made for your relationship bc both of you love it so much

-

"Oh my God, Y/N," he's moaning, helplessly, as you thrust quickly into him. "Oh my God. Please, please, please don't stop. Please--fuck."

"I know," you kiss the sweet spot on his neck, quickening the pace of your hand on his dick. "You're taking me so good, Adam. This is one of the best things I've ever seen. You're so hot, beneath me and begging to come, mm?"

Adam is so blissed out that he's almost not thinking, and when he comes he already knows he's gonna be a thoughtless mess from your ministrations. He's cock-drunk, loving the way that your strap-on fills him up and never wanting that to end.

"Fuck," he moans, not even trying to suppress the sound. "So close, Y/N. I'm--ah!"

You laugh, kissing his cheekbone as ropes of his come spurt from his dick and paint his stomach.

"You're so cute when you're cock-drunk like that," you laugh again. "You liked it?"

You're pulling out of him, slowly, as he nods. "Yeah," he says. "I loved it, actually."

You clean up his stomach and clean up yourself, having come from the feeling of the strap-on against your clit and the sound of Adams moans. When you climb into bed with him again, he pulls you close and holds you tightly.

"I love you, Y/N," he says.

"I love you too, Adam," is your, admittedly very exhausted sounding, response. "Next time I peg you, you're riding me while I sit with my back against the headboard. You love that position when I'm the one doing the riding, and I wanna know what the fuss is about."

Adam laughs, kisses your collarbone and gives your ass a cheeky little smack in form of a response.

You fall asleep not soon after, naked and cozy in each others arms.

[dontcareplusthisholeistoosmall]

Soul Eater Characters If They Had Long Acrylic Nails

maka:

spent a lot of time making sure they looked right

they match her outfit perfectly

everything she does is slowed down at first as she adjusts but she convinces herself it’s okay

the instant they prevent her from doing something she’s got two bowls of acetone and they’re coming off Tonight

soul:

is surprisingly chill about it

they’re not super long but they’re pointed

“maka wanted us both to have nails on… it’s fine”

uses them as an excuse to be lazy

“i can’t do the dishes, my nails are in the way”

black star:

comes up with a list of ways to turn them into weapons/tools

after getting used to them he absent-mindedly chews on one

this opens a whole can of worms

he will not stop gnawing on them

tsubaki:

has matching nails with liz <3

really enjoys the process of putting them on

gets rounds of applause from black star for all the many things she can do with them on

most impressive is getting her debit card out of the chip reader using her knuckles

liz:

acrylic nail queen

cannot be slowed down

tries to teach maka tricks for how to operate with fake nails but her advice is mainly “you just do it”

is constantly touching up her nails/getting a new set

no one has seen her natural nails in years

patty:

her fake nails are pretty tame length-wise and usually bubblegum pink

she doesn’t actually use acrylics bc she’s too indecisive and keeps wanting to change them

she uses the press-ons that you can get at the dollar store

gleefully picks out several packs every time

kid:

only got fake nails after liz pestered him about it for weeks straight

meticulously applies them which takes way longer than necessary

they’re black of course

cuts the pinky nails short so that he can still fire his guns

everything is chill until one starts coming off and he has to spend HOURS meticulously repairing it

once it’s done he has to inspect every single other nail to make sure they’re perfect

it’s a vicious cycle that ultimately ends in tears and a vow to never do this to himself again

crona:

got nails at a salon with maka, liz, and tsubaki

stared in awe at them for several minutes without moving

cannot bend their fingers at all

loves them anyway bc it makes them feel like a part of the group

ragnarok:

will not stop bitching about how inconvenient they are

but if someone suggests taking them off, he gets pissed

“WHY!? YOU DON’T WANT ME TO BE PRETTY!? IS THAT IT!?”

spirit:

is absolutely serving cunt

they are perfectly applied, they match his outfit, and he can do anything with them

constantly hitting that 💅

is the one that taught liz and tsubaki the card/knuckle trick

only cries a little bit when they chip during Death Scythe Things

stein:

wears them for exactly two minutes then pops them off with his teeth as casually as opening a bottle with a bottle opener

it’s terrifying to witness

[morphogenetic]

Mediaposting 2024, #6: Dai Gyakuten Saiban 2/The Great Ace Attorney Resolve

Completed: April 21st, 2024 (/i still have to watch the DLC episodes that didn't get released with the official loc, I guess but I'm not playing it any more so ?? lol)

Time spent: 49.5 hours (will be like 50.5 after the DLC stuff)

Rating: 9/10 (more objectively. but a very biased 9.5 in my heart.)

ohhhhh my god alright where do i even start with this. i guess i also have to talk about dgs1 a little bit in this review/mini completion log but I will TRY and keep it to just 2. [editor's note: somehow succeeded with this! lfg]

first, to get the non-spoiler parts of this out of the way:

please for the love of god play this fucking game if you've played the original AA trilogy but not the DGS duology. i can not stress this enough. i would not recommend playing them as your FIRST aa games because a) they will set your bar way too high (and too low simultaneously bc wow dgs1 still has whack as hell pacing) b) there are a few details, especially in this particular game, that will evoke no reaction in you if you haven't played at least the main three games but WILL cause you to start gnawing on drywood if you have Knowledge Of The Future

the whole dgs duology - and specifically as a duology, bc 2 makes no sense without 1 but 1 by itself is not on this level - is absolutely in my top 3/4 AA games now. i admittedly have not replayed the original trilogy in quite a while, buuuuuut T&T/AAI2/DGS1+2 are my new top 3. not necessarily in that order, give me a bit to think about it lol.

im going to be thinking about this game for the rest of my life probably. i can see why my best friend wanted me to play it for uh. seven years. because yeah it really is that good.

i want to cosplay four different designs from it. i have not wanted to cosplay anything new (to me) since neo twewy came out three years ago. take that as you will.

music still slaps. obviously. my favorite new song is absolutely partners (IYKYK) but agh. the new theme(s) that characters get are all so fucking good. clenches fist. the leitmotifs

definitely becomes relevant in retrospect in a few places where capcom obviously cut the hell out of the budget but they saved it for where it matters so i dont care. im also uh. very used to low budget VNs so frankly even 3D models are better than I'm used to LMFAO. i also you know. didn't realize that they did that until after the fact. so. they hid it well

if you havent played this go and play it (after playing the original AA trilogy). please for the love of god im on my hands and knees.

everything below the cut (i.e. below this point) has blatant unfiltered spoilers. you have been warned.

okay so welcome you've presumably played all of dgs2 if you're reading this. i have THOUGHTS. a lot of these will come off as critical/negative but i need to strongly emphasize that these are the only reasons that this game is not a 10/10 for me and otherwise i'm in love with it. it is fucking CLOSE. i am not talking a lot about the things i really love because that is.............................a lot of the game for me and we'd be here all day. the critiques are much more limited in number. but. you know.

dgs2 absolutely has much, Much better pacing than dgs1 does overall. it does not take 3 cases to get past a bunch of tutorial cases. this is a good thing. however..............the first two cases are still very slow. i won't call them pure filler, because a) reminding us about yuujin was a very good idea, b) they contribute to the Themes of the game. and im glad hosonaga was there again and (of all of the side characters we could have had) seeing souseki was good. i like them. but they really didn't need to be there to fulfill the themes of the game. case 2 in particular feels like a filler case, which I do not love given how tight the rest of the plot feels. if anything i feel like they should have done an interim flashback case without susato, as much as I adore susato, because as-is it's canon that ryuu had 3 cases in the span of a week. which feels INSANE

speaking of better pacing: im so glad dgs2 remembered that AA games can take investigation breaks between courtroom shit because running through ALL of the trial after ALL of the investigation in 1-5 was. let's say. taxing. the 'finding their footing' aspect of the first game

i do kind of wish we got One more case with the masked apprentice where susato wasn't there at all for the entire case. if only because then the delay between ryuu Thinking It and susato Knowing it would be even more painful. but i do really appreciate that they don't try to make it a woah big reveal as much as a painful "i know who you are but you don't." really adds a certain je nai se quois or however the fuck you spell that. idr. its 1 am when im typing this

also hey asougi can we fucking unpack how susato (the girl you were raised with to some extent, probably not like your sister but your weird younger cousin) called your name and you didn't remember who you were but you DID remember when you saw a wax reconstruction of your dead dad. can we fucking talk about that for a minute. can w

speaking of asougi. my god. they did such a good job with him. i think i wouldn't have cared nearly as much about him if all we had was the dgs1 stuff but his extreme motivation for the truth almost turning him into a violent attack dog is. aaaaaaaaaah. god. and the parallels between him and his father's followers (read: the von karmas) that one has from playing the mainline AA games. truly brainworm material

speaking of this: i can absolutely tell they did NOT think about writing the professor stuff with this game until they added in the masked apprentice - before he got turned into asougi - even though the reaper was obviously something that was planned. i do not care personally about this, because game dev is weird as hell and it REALLY works with asougi and van zieks' character arcs. in the same way that i don't think [SPOILER CHARACTER] from vlr would have been as good without the knowledge of 999, i think if barok had been foiled against a new character it wouldn't have worked as well. all that said. it sure is obvious they didn't know what they were doing. this makes me even more impressed that that they got it to work at all

the same is true of everything with the hound of the baskervilles but im really glad that they took it in the direction that they did.

also man it is so obvious that they probably wanted to have this be a proper trilogy like the original trilogy but then budget happened. because 2-3 through 2-5 all slap but they feel so fucking weird next to 2-1 and 2-2. like i dont feel that theres anything missing per se but a little more time for character growth would have been nice. hell even adding in an extra case (and/or editing 2-2....)

the only writing thing, aside from. 2-2 being like that. and the other weird pacing issues..that extensively is off to me is the whole assassin trading plot. i do think it is Very stupid and that they clearly wrote themselves into a corner with 1-5 on how to deal with it because they just...proceed to not deal with it until 2-4 and 2-5. however. even with that said. i actually kind of like that it is so stupid. because stronghart definitely feels SO obsessed with his version of justice that he wouldn't think through the potential downsides of having two free-roaming assassins running around and maybe coming to get his ass. obvious flaw that would not occur to him because of his insane ass behavior

its still dumb. but it's ace attorney dumb. so i can excuse it a little bit

stronghart being a damon gant expy was funny but goddamnit was it predictable. making him be so obssessed with justice that he talks to ryuu about it for 4 hours was funny as hell though and absolutely adds to him as a character. still dont like him that much Personally but hes definitely a character

his breakdown was peak. by the way. top 3 breakdowns in the series

jigoku being like that kills me. also. the way he just let genshin

g. genshin impact (sorry)

i dont care that sherlock's bullshit was a deus ex machina bc honestly.....electricity was real at that point. its fine

also. holy shit i love ryuunosuke in this game even more. 'i'm not doing this for you, kazuma. i'm doing it for the truth.' BANGER!!!!!!!!!!!! his growth across these two games is really good but especially in this one he shines so brightly

however..........this game made the glaring lack of ryuu's parents even more obvious. its not like i Need it or anything but considering how he very literally refers to yuujin/susato/sherlock/iris as his family in 2-4.....where are your parents!!!! what was your childhood like!!!!!! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS THAT I WISH COULD BE ANSWERED!!!!!!!!!

and asougi. i could write an essay on asougi alone i think. but i adore how both he and ryuu are like 'you've changed' at each other and neither of them are wrong but then by the end they're like 'wow you're the same as before.' theyre so fucking gay. anyway

and sherlock (WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY DO YOU LIE FOR FUN LIKE THIS????????)

and yuujin (partners ~ game is afoot starts playing and i start crying). obsessed with how they only had to write the dynamic for a single case and you can believe all of it because they can just go. lol. ACD canon. anyway

and susato

and, most surprisingly of all for me.....fucking barok van zieks. i would not call myself a Fan of him in the way i am a Fan of asougi and ryuu, but i am obsessed with him. he did so many things wrong but realizes he genuinely fucked up and wants to atone for it. he gets genuinely upset in prison when he can't join the red-headed league. he's a professional alcoholic. he has bats in his office (???). what is wrong with him. (i know the answer is 'literally everything that could be wrong with a person.' but still

i love every single character in this game (or i hate them but because they were written to be hated)??? how did they manage this again. dgs1 helps so much here because the character growth.

argh. the character parallels with everyone realizing their parent / mentor figure was fucked up and/or hiding shit from them in some way. thinking emoji rotating in a circle goes here

wow that magically became way less critical as i was writing it. i thought it was going to be a lot stronger of a critique. its still weird pacing stuff basically that bothers me but i have very minor complaints that im forgetting aside from this

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH HI GUYS IM BRAIN ROTTING NOW FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this has had almost the same brain impact on me (as evidenced by the 1 million words about it) as raging loop i think and thats never a good sign since i still think about raging loop at least once a week despite the fact that i played it 3 goddamn years ago

[whaleofatjme1920]

Only One He Sees [Sal Fisher X GN!Reader]

[Warnings: Like, none? I mean, I guess emotional cheating and angst.]

[AN: this is a hot mess!! But I just wanted to write something quick and angsty bc I adore Joji's song "Glimpse of Us". It's like,,,, 1:30 am,,,, be nice to me yall,,,,,, I haven't written anything of quality in eons. ALSO I don't ship Ash and Sal, I just needed a shoddy plot device im sorry. 2681 words <3]

Sal doesn’t do anything half-baked. He ensures that his all is in everything he does, everything he says, everything he means. And when he loved Ash, he loved her hard and with everything he was. Did you know their love story was slow? She’d always viewed him as a dear friend, and he’d always been hesitant in getting close to her. But through high school, they had grown closer. Ash’s love with him was almost perfect. No one had ever seen two people fit together as perfectly as they did. 

You couldn’t go five seconds without seeing their dreamy smiles and gazes peeking through the tiny sliver of windows on the doors as they passed by the other’s room, how they yearned for each other when seated far away, and gods, who could forget how they disappeared for hours caught in their own little world? Sal had never loved anyone as much as he loved Ash, and he would have spent his entire life with her if the gods had willed it so. But, good things never last, and Sal is unfortunately more aware of that than anyone else. 

He respected her wishes more than anyone else, even more than his own, and it led to their downfall. They were best friends before, during and after their relationship. A breakup brought up by differences in future lifestyles wouldn’t change that. But oh, gone were the halcyon days when they could be carefree kids in love. Sal considered a part of him gone with that relationship, his walls a bit higher than before when it came to matters of the heart. 

But you? You were a stubborn thing. You sat yourself down next to him in one of your classes your senior year of university, intrigued by the things he was doodling in his notebook. And he was charming, polite, his blue eyes smiled as you imagined his lips were. He had told you what a pleasure it was that he was meeting you for the first time, and you returned the compliment. 

A semester had never passed faster than that silly filler class with Sal. Every day you’d come in, 11 in the morning, plop down next to him and pass him some drink you picked up from the on campus cafe - one of many. You and Sal made it a mission from the beginning to try something new at the beginning of the semester. You watched over the weeks as something came back to him. You could have sworn you heard his heart beat again, he’d been so silent when you first laid your eyes on him. When the final class rolled around, you’d been saddened to realize that - 

“So this is where we part ways?” You said as you began to pack up your things. You had a small, polite smile gracing your lips, fingers just barely fumbling with the zipper as if to give him a moment or two to respond. But really, you enjoyed his presence.

Sal slowly closed his notebook before shaking his head. “It doesn’t have to be?” He offered. “H-Here,” he chuckled upon seeing your puzzled expression. He fished out a sharpie and made a small grabby motion for your hand. He held you warmly, gently, like you were made of glass as he painted the digits of his numbers onto your hand. “I’m surprised I didn’t give this to you earlier,” he admitted with a sheepish grin verbally popping through his almost shy voice. 

Your heart fluttered so fast, so loud, you were sure to take flight. “It’s nothing,” you said as you shook your head. “I’ll call you sometime soon!” You said it so fast, Sal hardly had time to register it. You felt like you were floating as you popped out of your seat, cutely waved to him and damn near sprinted out of the classroom to get back to your car. You heard his laughter. It was nice to hear him like that. 

It was safe to say that a relationship between the two of you blossomed after that. You kept him waiting a tad longer than he originally expected, but you were worried you would come off as clingy, desperate. It felt like hell waiting to send that silly little ‘hi! This is Reader, from-’. You must have written it dozens of times before clicking send and hoping for the best. But everything with Sal was so easy. Never had he made you feel like a stranger in the house the two of you were building. 

Some late nights, the two of you would park your car in the middle of an empty lot and stare up at what little stars you could actually see peeking through the night’s abyss. Looking for gems in a sea of ink had to be one of your favorite things to do with him, because when the heat of the sun was gone, he’d wrap you in his strong arms, and hum softly in your ear. Sometimes, Sal would whisper stories of how the stars above received their names. You felt loved by him without him having even said it. 

On one of these outings, you felt him pause. His painted nails had been just barely massaging your scalp when he pulled his fingers downwards, as if he was trying to run them through your hair. Upon realizing his action, he stopped, a slightly confused, and disturbed expression on his face behind his prosthetic. 

“What’s wrong?” You whispered, your body moving upwards a bit to tilt back to look at him. 

Sal shook his head. “Nothing,” he said, his gaze soft but still perturbed. “Autopilot,” he chuckled. “I’m sorry, baby,” he cooed in an apologetic tone before turning your attention back to the faint stars above, his low voice explaining them in a whisper only a lover was afforded to hear.

You studied him as best as you could, and for the first time you realized he wasn’t looking at you. Perhaps he never was to begin with. 

It happens, right? Sometimes people just do that. But this? This felt off, a deep seated pain that had erupted somewhere deep inside of him, spilling to the surface to a point he couldn’t hide it anymore. To say it planted a seed of doubt would be an understatement. It sprouted an entire garden. Everything Sal did, he said, you thought of what could have caused him to look at you as if you were someone else. Time and time again you were able to reap the fruits of your labor. He was constantly searching, touching you, hoping you were someone else. 

If you didn’t catch him that first time, you might not have ever caught it to begin with. It’s everywhere, glaringly obvious, practically lit up in bright red lights and bolded for you. The way you have to reposition his hand when you’re snuggling, his defaults are never in tune with yours, his humor just out of sync with yours, and how he lays in your arms feels so empty. You know he’s waiting, hoping and praying for someone else. So, why is he passing time in your arms? 

You never let your suspicion show. You treat Sal with the utmost love and respect as you can, watching as the summer ebbs to winter, and as the day fades to night. You tell yourself time and time again that it’s your problem. You almost make yourself believe it. 

Do you know the pain that comes with doubting someone you love so deeply? You ran yourself dizzy, sick, wondering who it could have been. You didn’t want to distrust him, you didn’t want to question him, but the thought of someone else having that effect on him cracked your heart into pieces. Of course, you did your best to hide this from Sal, but he’s a smart man. Of course he’d figure it out eventually. 

“You feel different.” It was stated as an observation, but you know he meant to prod more. His arm, draped around your blanket ending in his hand lovingly clasped around your outer shoulder to bring you in closer to his side lovingly rubbed at you. His thumb traced little moons and stars, circles, even hearts. 

“I do?” 

He hummed a ‘yes’ and nodded slightly. “What’s eating you?”

You took in a deep breath and attempted to push the feelings away. “Do you love me?” The blue haired man pauses his actions entirely, body rigid and expression taken aback. “What?” You can’t see his expression, but you know he’s shocked. “Of course I love you,” he continued. Sal’s voice is cracked, his confidence clearly taken a hit that you would doubt him. 

“Then why does it always feel like you’re searching for someone else?” You asked, no accusation in your tone, but rather genuine curiosity. 

The man at your side shifted again before a deep sigh echoed from his chest. “I’m sorry that I made you feel that way.” He studied your face as he spoke. “My ex, Ash, was my first love. I don’t love her anymore, I promise.” He reached for your hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “You are my everything. Always have been, always will be. But, I guess some part of me-”

“Misses her?” You finished. 

Sal scoffed slightly. “No, I don’t miss her,” he shot back. 

You could feel the defensive energy radiating off of him. “Okay,” you said softly, letting him calm down. 

He ran his fingers through his hair, a nervous tic, before taking in yet another deep breath. His shoulders rolled before dropping, practically drooping. “You’ve been so good to me,” he murmured, “I could never think of anyone else but you, Reader.” He’s lying through his teeth, but you believe him. You smiled, taking his hands warmy into his. 

“I’m sorry for being stupid or anything-,” you rambled, deeply unsettled about the feelings of dread pooling in the back of your throat. How could you ever compete with someone like that? 

Sal let your hands go before reaching back to his prosthetic, clicking it off. “I love you.” That was the first time he said it. 

It felt so empty. 

He leaned forward to kiss you. 

You kissed him back. 

The next few years that passed in your relationship with him were rather peaceful. You had almost forgotten about the pain, but every now and then his actions would remind you, and your heart would ache all over again. But, Sal is good at making you feel loved. You. You and you alone. And for a while, you were certain that he’d fallen out of love with Ash. 

Why did you tell him that you were okay with going to that little friends meet up? Why did you tell him that you would go with? Why did you tell him that you wanted to meet the people who he went to high school with? You already know Larry, isn’t that enough? When you first agreed, none of these thoughts were on your mind. You wanted to support Sal and genuinely see the people who made his high school years that much better. You wanted to meet who made him happy! 

And oh how sweet they all were. Larry’s more than used to you, but meeting Todd, Neil, Maple and Chug? You already feel like you’re one of the gang with how friendly they are. Larry’s made it his mission that you fit in - in fact, he seems more enthralled in the whole process than Sal does! 

“Is she coming?” You heard Neil ask, a small smile on his lips as his arm rested comfortably around Todd’s waist. 

“Running late,” Sal replied as he looked up from his phone. “She just texted me.” 

You feel something inside of you pluck roughly. The strings of your heart are being played, aren’t they? “She should be here in a minute or so.” 

“How’d she text that from her bike?” Snickered Larry in a lovingly teasing tone. 

Sal shrugged. “Just glad she’s coming today,” he added before coming to your side and mirroring Neil’s actions. He gently nuzzled you with his prosthetic, as if he was pecking a kiss to your temple before making a small motion to leave. “Did you want anything to drink? To eat? I know this place like the back of my hand,” he offered with another chuckle. 

“Maybe some more water?” You replied in a half questioning tone. You watched as he left your side before being whisked up by the other people in the room. 

You didn’t hear Ash come in. You didn’t see Sal forget you were even present. Being so caught up with his friends, you didn’t even realize your boyfriend hadn’t come to check on you in hours. 

You crossed through the place with Maple, a cup in your hand on the way to get some cake Chug had brought when you saw them sitting in a bay window. Sal looked positively invigorated with life. He was glowing on the inside and out just being by her again. His body language was so much more animated. His voice was lively. He was laughing at Ash’s jokes, even if they weren’t funny. And gods, how he leaned in just to hear her secrets. He contorted his form better just to be that much closer to her. It was like his heart was clawing out of his chest to be with hers. 

He was still in love with her. Anyone could see it. 

Feeling your gaze, Sal’s attention briefly moved to you. He saw your smile, something soft, something gentle, something validated after years of wondering. He waved at you from where he sat with Ash, just faintly disheartened you did not wave back. He watched as your lips turned slowly to a frown. He could hear your heart break. And even though he was looking directly at you, he still only had eyes for her. 

At that moment, you hated him, truly, and as deeply as one person could hate another. You watched as Ash commanded his attention back, and like a sweet little puppy, he followed. You knew he was smiling under his prosthetic. His touches to her were pure and sweet in a way he’d never afforded you. You thought back to all the lazy mornings and hazy evenings you’ve spent with him curled up in bed. Those touches that felt so foreign, as if you were a placeholder all made sense. It was a deep innate feeling you felt ever since you were gazing up at the stars with him. Finally, finally it was validated. 

Your body feels like it’s floating as the rest of the night passes by. You don’t see Sal until it’s time to go, and your words are failing everything you want to say to him. You’re angry, that’s at the forefront of the things you feel. You feel betrayed. You want to call him everything under the sun. His hand on your thigh doesn’t feel right. The way his lips press to the side of your head when he briefly moves his prosthetic to kiss you doesn’t feel right. You have every intent of getting out of the car and throwing your things into a suitcase and leaving the home he’s made you feel a stranger in. You have every intent of cutting your losses and moving to something healthier. You don’t deserve this. You’re practically seething in your seat when you hear him say it. Those four words that make you weak all over again. 

“I love you, Reader.” 

Your heart seizes. You think over your options. Entire lifetimes must have passed through your mind’s eye as you consider it, and you know that if you got into another relationship, all you would be able to see is him. 

He’s the only thing that matters to you, even if you're not the one that matters to him.

You bite back a sigh, a pained smile on your lips to follow as you face him. 

“I love you too.”  

[capriciouscaprine]

good morning!!!!! I had good number news this morning!!! lotsssss of numbers below, just fyi

I haven't really talked about my goals or current numbers on here, in part bc I was worried that if that was one of the first things I posted, whatever flagging bot gets used on here (I know, it's mostly crusaders who go thru the tags and mass repo blogs that gets us distapeared) would see those things and I'd be on their no-fly list immediately

plus, there's something to be said for the fear of saying something out loud, when I've not been the sort of person to stick to hobbies and things before

BUT

last week, I hit a goal of $125.4 (iirc), which means I hit a simultaneous goal of a 'healthy' -$5/month for 15 months straight, for a total of -$75.00 from my starting balance of $200.00

which, I honestly was having trouble being excited about hitting that goal bc of our common habit of rounding up, so any decimals next to that number it feel like I hadn't actually hit it, and I had worked REALLY HARD to get there, including a multi-mile treadmill walk and everything

BUT

my check in day is monday (start the week off informed!); on tuesday the monthly obnoxiousness started, and most of us who experience that will skip check in days that are close to it bc it messes with our bodies so much, so our measurements will be inaccurate

then, last week was spring break for my internship, but it's only two days a week, so I spent two days last week almost entirely sitting at my computer, working on my course work

meanwhile, in the same week, I clocked THEE MOST hours at my almost entirely outdoor, moderately physical job in about six months aka since about mid-fall, as late fall thru early spring is our slow season and things are now picking back up; I spent the week planting seedlings, repairing fences, running around after babies, and doing deeper cleaning now that things are warmer and deep bedding isn't so much of a priority

which, I spent last summer consistently dropping without thinking too much about it, tbh, and I'm pretty sure now that it's bc of this job (there was other stuff like switching from regular ice cream to halo top, etc, but on the whole I wasn't doing things like counting and I hadn't even made this blog yet)

and for meals this week, I seemed to average just about 1k; some days were higher and others were lower, some days I felt like an unwilling black hole and others I was just... fine after eating a small lunch/dinner (I keep weird hours, it was the final meal of the day for me, idk); plus, no semi-fraught Easter lunch with my family

SO

that brings us to today's check in

$123.2

officially, for realsies, under that $125.00 goal, and also the amount I claimed on my drivers license bc I thought it was funny and it was only a little lower than my actual amount BEFORE UNIVERSITY, AND very genuinely really close to a secret goal I've had since I heard it as a song lyric in 11th grade: $120.00

I know, it's such a silly thing to base a goal off of, and really highlights just how pervasive unrealistic body standards are, that some man stated it as the measure of a fictional grown woman he was writing about who you KNOW he envisioned as being 'curvy' and taller than a literal child

but I'm still gonna hit it

and yep, I'm once of those people who have reduced their goals over time; you think a number sounds really low, and then you find out how much people who look the way you want to measure in at, and realize that if that's where you wanna be, this number isn't going to have you looking like that unless it's mostly muscle, and I'm for sure not mostly muscle

anyways, introspection on societal pressures out of the way, this morning's breakfast was a 1/3 of a cup of egg substitute (50), two low f 'canadian bacon' slices (20 each for 40 together), a slice of lite toast (45) with lite country crock spread (about 1/2 a tblsp, so half of 35), and my coffee (25), so that's a relatively high f and protein breakfast for just under 200 (and of course we round up to the bigger whole number!)

I was hoping to feel satiated from that, but it's not quite hitting like yesterday's grilled cheese did; ah, well, just one more data point to take note of!

now, fingers crossed I can finish this presentation before work this morning!!!

[asterssunzephyr]

TP&TS!Nature Wives angst, maybe? 👀👀👀

THERES SO MUCH I COULD GIVE YOU OH MY GOD?? They are the main couple after all(..One of the only ones, actually. Looking at Desert Duo & ShadowBeans being split up bc one is dead.. then looks at NW & FH.. hm..)

CW: Alcohol, Bars

Implied gay thoughts about your best friend's best friend

Implied Flower Husbands

Implied Bisexual Ren

Implied Gay Thoughts™️ about tp&ts!Gem from tp&ts!Shelby

-----

"You hurt Jimmy, why are you in my house."

"To talk to you-"

"Talk?! What is there to talk about, Shelby?!"

"A lot! I didnt- I didnt mean to hurt him!"

"Then why did you?!"

"I dont know!"

"Bullshit! Get out of my house. Get out, and dont return."

"But-"

"Out. and give me the key back."

"Sweetheart-"

"Dont. You dont get to call me that anymore, leave."

He stared at her, at the way she still looked so ethereal while pissed at him, but gave the key up with a sigh. They had no right to stay here, not at 2 in the morning when Katherine probably just got back from the heroes base after working with Gem all night.

Okay, she didnt know if that last part was true but from how tense and stressed Katherine looked, Shelby assumed!.. They walked to the door and took one last look at the love of their life, friend, enemy her and left.

That night was spent in the closest bar to Katherines house since she didnt want to go half way across town to the small apartment in Boatem.

"What are you doing this far across town."

They shot their eyes up to the person who slid into the booth across from them. Brown eyes and blonde hair; Jimmy. Why was he in this bar?

"..I wanted to talk to Kat, she didnt wanna hear it. Didnt want to walk all the way back to Boatem at 2 am."

A sip of the liquor in the glass and Shelby finally looked the taller in the eyes.

"I get that," A sip from his own glass, "Scott dragged Gem and I here."

"Gem's here?"

"She is."

Shelby looked for the hint of a lie, but knew better. Jimmy would never lie about Gem's location, not when he cared about her like he does.

"Shelby!"

Another voice, and an arm around her shoulder. Scott, and Gem sliding into the booth on the other side next to Jimmy.

Now, Shelby knew 3 things about themself and their feelings:

1. They're hopelessly in love with Katherine

2. They liked women, and honestly women only

3. Feelings are confusing

One thing he didnt know, however, was to stop staring at Gem who currently looked outright beautiful. Now, she is one to lie quite often, but if shes calling someone beautiful, it's because she means it; well, gods be damned does Shelby mean it.

Apparently, Gem hasn't noticed the staring to they quickly focused on their hands and the drink in it before downing the rest of the glass and calling for another.

See, for a long time, Shelby's known about their feelings for women and how its nothing how Ren felt for women, or men. She's always struggled with feelings, and for a long time coming to terms with being asexual was a lot; dont get the poor guy wrong, hes hopelessly in love with Katherine and knows it, but goddamn does Gem look great.

-

He focused back in on the conversation when his 2nd, 3rd, fourth drink arrived and took a slow sip out of the glass. Just now, had Shelby realized, Katherine was there and glaring daggers from the end of the table. They made eye contact and Shelby knew she was in trouble, apparently so did Scott with how fast he moved to let Katherine take his place next to the short villain friend.

"How many have you had."

"Uh-"

"She's had four."

"You were keeping track?!"

"I have to drive Scott and Gem home, of course I have. Weve been here for two hours, Shelby."

"Two hours?!"

Shelby winced at Katherine basically yelling next to them. Yep, big trouble.

"Thats it, come on."

"Where are we going?"

"My house, so you can sober up and sleep."

"Im not drunk!"

"Do I look like I care?"

"Well- No, but-"

"No. Cmon."

Shelby stumbled out of the booth as Katherine dragged them and he waved bye to the trio who just waved back; Scott with a "knowing" smirk.

-

"Are you fucking stupid?!"

"What?"

"Going to a bar, alone, at two in morning?!"

"Like going to boatem wouldve been any better?"

"Not-.. Not what Im saying."

"I just needed to clear my head, Katherine."

"If you wouldve said something-"

"You wouldnt let me! You were so pissed off at me that you wouldnt let me speak!"

"So were both in the wrong!"

"What have I done?!"

"GO TO A BAR, ALONE."

"AND?"

"Gods be damned youre an idiot."

"I tried to talk to you! You wouldnt let me!"

"Then you shouldve told me to shut up!"

"And risk being punched in the face?! Look, Its happened once before and I dont take too kindly to having a busted lip!"

Katherine rolled her eyes and threw a hoodie, a yellow one, at them and stormed off. Shelby simply took this as a sign to go take a shower before Katherine sends her back outside.

------

They both go to sleep angry that morning:). Gem, and Scott, wake up with hangovers btw LMFAO

[cainightfics]

can we get an update? are u doing ok? u had such crazy output last year and now u so suddenly stopped

hey! ya sorry i went so mia its been a busy year. im still working on fic but its slow. from when i last updated trotw to april i was working 3 jobs, taking a full uni courseload, and writing my thesis. the thesis in particular honestly burned me out on writing really badly but i did manage to write that one oneshot

then summer was just shit honestly lol. i spent the entire summer working at a restaurant to save up money bc i had to move away in september, and the shift i had started at 6am, so i was almost never awake during my peak writing hours (11pm to 3am). i lost 30lbs in 2 months partially because i was broke and partially because my eating disorder relapsed (probably from stress lol). during that time i was only eating one meal a day in the form of my free staff lunch at work, but the restaurant where i worked was INFESTED WITH MICE :))))) so half the time i was too disgusted to eat thinking there might be rodent shit mixed into my food lol. and then on my days off i just ate like eggs and rice and zucchini bc thats what i got from the food bank. in august i started really genuinely and consciously restricting my calories down to like 500-800 cals per day, plus working on my feet as a waitress doing like 20k steps a day as a result of the malnutrition and rapid weight loss my hair started falling out in massive clumps :))) and i started sleeping for like 12 hrs a day. im eating properly now ofc tho

i moved in september for grad school and am now living in one of the most expensive cities in the world lol so i spend a lot of time just financially struggling. i have a job that will last until the end of december but its under contract so i only make like $600 a month and have to rely on my $14k school stipend and meagre savings for the rest. ive been looking for another job but i either get no interview, have the interviewer ghost me, or most recently, get told i have the job and then just never get scheduled. i have 7 cents in my checking account rn lol. my rent is paid until next month and then after that who knows whats gonna happen to me

last years output was definitely a fluke and only happened bc i was VERYYYY financially stable and could fuck around a lot at my part time job, where i wrote most of trotw. those sunny days are gone 🚬🚬 lol but i dont intend to abandon my works and i promise they will come someday. if anyone here feels like paying my rent itll come EVEN faster!!!

thx for checking up tho, its nice to know i havent been totally forgotten by u guys <3

[fyodior]

who are your top 5 blorbos and why?

y’all love sending me homework questions. also this isnt really in any particular order bc my affections differ constantly

fyodor obvi. he’s hot and sexy and undoubtedly the love of my life so he’ll always be number 1. he’s such an insanely complex and interesting character that i could (and have) spend hours dissecting and chewing to bits, and i can relate to him in some ways. he means the world to me and brings me so much joy that i am currently attempting to actually fucking read crime and punishment

dazai! he was the first bsd character i absolutely fell head over heels in love with and i am unfortunately a dazai kinnie which is incredibly. . something but again i see a lot of myself in him but he’s just such this tragic character that i want to give so much love to and again i could spend hours tearing his character to bits i love him soooo much and i love writing him. i want to slow dance with him

verlaine! recent fave, just read stormbringer a couple months ago. fucking weird ass dude but i love a blonde hair blue eyes bitch and he just has so many layers to him like he’s objectively a “villain” but i do not think he’s inherently a bad person. #3 of characters i could and have spent forever discussing and dissecting and professing my love for

chuuya <3 my darling baby honey chuuya that man has been thru fucking hell and back and yet he’s still standing like i just have so much respect for him as a character and my heart (and pussy) swells any time i think about him. he has such a big heart and is so fascinating like i just love him so much and he’s another one of my absolute favs to write

ending the list with odasaku <3 <3 i had a discussion with kal a bit ago abt who in bsd would i trust unconditionally and my immediate answer was oda. he is a beautiful man with a heart of fucking gold and the world’s most tragic backstory yet he spent his dying breaths encouraging dazai to become a better person. even if he’s not the one i talk abt the most he has such a special place in my heart and i love him fucking endlessly

and those are my special blorbos thank u and goodnight

[romanarose]

Triple Frontier Boys Teach Laci How to Drive

Not Canon. Laci is a passenger princess. Even if she gets the license I doubt she'd use it except in emergency.

Meant as HC's specific to my series Leather and Lace, but can be read separate as the guys helping the reader learn or practice! All you need to know is Laci is Santi's girl, but she has special friendships with each of the guys, in different ways <3

Santiago Garcia

When Laci asked Santi to teach her how to drive, he was thrilled! It was a big step for her. The amount of time they spent together as it was ridiculous, and yet he was still all jazzed up about more. Unfortunately, Santi underestimated his protective nature and was in instant panic mode the second there was another car on the start. They barely made it out of their neighborhood when Santi started losing his shit, "Slow down"

"I'm a mile an hour over?" "You can get pulled over for that"

"Santi-"

"Oh my god are you speeding up?"

This ended with Laci storming into their house muttering about how this is why she never learned to drive with her mom.

Benny Miller

"As your best friend," Benny started when Laci brought it up to the guys. "I think it's my job!" He volunteered.

When Santi suggested that, having seen how Benny drives, maybe Will should do it. Benny managed to stress out Laci even more by insisted that when Will tried to teach him, he was even worse than Santi.

This also ended poorly. Benny immidetly directed Laci onto the freeway with a "push a baby bird out the nest" theory. This ended in a lot of a panicking and more than a few close calls by the time they got home. To save Benny from Santi going ballistic on Ben, when asked, she just said it went "fine"

Frankie Morales

"Frankie?"

"Yes?"

"You're supposed to be teaching me to drive"

"I am"

"You're gripping the grab handle and you haven't opened your eyes yet."

"Mmmmmmhm"

Will Miller

When Laci slid into the driver's seat next to Will, she was more nervous with him than she had been in a long, long time. Benny had told her supposed horror stories of him and Will in the backroads, nearly crashing into telephone poles and absolutely crashing into barbed wire fencing. Almost hit a loose cow once.

Will spoke calmly s he directed her, and coolly corrected her mistakes, being her extra eyes for oncoming dangers.

"Benny said you were worse than Santi"

"Benny is just mad because I wouldn't let him booze cruise and told him not to go 80 on a dirt road." Will flashes a rare grin. "I taught him everything he knows"

Laci couldn't help but laugh despite her nerves on the quiet 4-lane. "I don't know how much that is. I don't think I've exited his jeep with a normal heart rate"

*************

This a few head canons I wanted to write bc I love these guys so much. I have a Christmas ask for these guys I meant to do last week but I got so busy with Seattle I got distracted lmfao. I will try to get that, the next chapter of Sunshine, Awakened and maaaaaybe the final chapter of Leather and Lace out this week

tagging the LaL tag list <3

@littlenosoul @bensolosbluesaber @milkymoon2483 @gogh-with-the-flow @itspdameronthings @trinkets01 @p0edameronswife @welcometostayingawake @spxctorsslxt @username21mk @lucianadraven32 @sgt-morgan @xaestheticalien @howaboutcastiel @soapjay