#ba interview questions and answers

[azsazz]

Glitz, Glam & Grand Prix

Formula One!Azriel x Reader

Summary: Set at the Las Vegas Grand Prix, you, as Ferrari's team Media Trainer, struggle with keeping both drivers in line.

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 1,887

Notes: Back again with another F1 AU 💙 so obsessed with this trope tbh

Belongs to the Off Grid collection.

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“I am not wearing this,” Azriel says flatly, staring at the garment in his hand in horror. He’s holding the hanger hook between a pinched thumb and forefinger, like the newly designed sequined bomber jacket might jump off the holder and strangle him.

He might prefer that.

“Yes, you are,” you answer, distractedly. Your phone buzzes in your hand, another email coming through. Something about a calendar change with the scheduled interviews for the two drivers you’re in charge of for media training. “You’re going to put that jacket on, just like all of the other drivers are doing, and you’re going to march your ass over to the social media team and do what they ask without complaint.”

You cut your—secret—boyfriend a harsh look that matches your no-nonsense tone. He holds your look for all of four seconds before giving in, returning to his glower to the garment in his hand instead. It’s smart of him, choosing not to start with you while you’re in Media Training mode, not secret girlfriend mode where you shoot him teasing grins and cheeky glances behind everyone’s backs.

“Give it here, old man,” Dorian Havilliard says, swiping the coat from him. You cringe, offering Azriel an apologetic smile that looks more like a grimace when his hazel gaze swings wildly to meet yours. As if you can do something about the driver tasing him. Azriel looks like he’s about two seconds from trying to lay Dorian—Ferrari’s newest recruit—out flat.

“I’m not even that old,” Azriel mutters, giving up before the arguing can even begin. The drivers haven’t started off on a good foot, Azriel upset about the realization that he’s getting older in this sport, and the looming fear that the rookie is going to replace him for his Driver 1 spot. For Dorian, he’s too naive yet to understand that he can learn a thing or two from the veteran driver. “Can I fake a stomach bug to get out of this one, ba—(Y/N)?” Azriel stutters, quickly catching his mistake.

Your eyes widen, but thankfully, Dorian doesn’t seem to notice, too enraptured with the design on the back of the bomber. Three dice line the back in white sequins, and instead of regular pips, the black of the dice spells out the acronym F1LVGP: Formula 1 Las Vegas Grand Prix.

It is pretty ugly, but you cannot wait to see your boyfriend in it.

Both drivers are set to shoot media in the very jackets that fans received with their purchase of tickets months ago. It’s going to be as gimmicky and cheesy as Azriel thinks it’s going to be, which is why you refrained from mentioning this specific part of the media tour to him this weekend.

“The fans are going to want to see you both in that jacket,” you explain, biting your lip at Dorian, who has zipped it up to his collarbones. It does look horrid, and there’s a part of you that wishes you could warn the social team about Azriel’s reluctant attitude. Hopefully, they don’t give him any props that might make him look even sillier. “It’s good for the team and the race. Plus, interaction gets us all paid, boys.”

Your phone pings with another important message, a call-in meeting with the Ferrari Public Relations team managers to develop key messages that align with the brand values, sponsor commitments, and team ethos.

With the two stubborn-minded drivers on your team, that part might prove to be difficult.

After that it’s crisis meetings with said drivers, training both Dorian and Azriel on how to efficiently deflect the potential damaging and sensitive questions about what happened in Brazil two weeks ago. Azriel is used to it, and as much as he hates the interview portion of his job, is trained well in answering these types of questions with tact and confidence.

Dorian, on the other hand, is still young and new to the team. The interviewers will no doubt single him out, sniffing out his fresh blood because he’s more likely to make a mistake. You already know that he’s a touch hot-headed when it comes to the obvious rift between the two Ferrari drivers, and if the interviewers pose a question that gives him room to get a word in about Azriel, you have no doubt that he’ll take it, even without realizing exactly how it could impact the team image.

You’re going to make sure that that doesn’t happen.

The rest of the weekend is planned out down to the minute. You’re not even sure you have a single free second to spend with Azriel.

Las Vegas is always exhausting.

“Hey, boss? When do we have some down time this weekend?” Dorian asks, as if he’s somehow reading your mind. You’re dreading this, having to tell a freshly turned twenty-one-year-old in Las Vegas for the first time that he’s not going to be able to go buck-wild. He’ll have to save that for a bye-week or a break. You’re here for business and racing this weekend, not strip-shows and high-hollers tables.

And while he may have an appearance at Omnia night club post-race on Sunday, you’ve tasked yourself with keeping an eye on the rookie, this weekend more so than during the rest of the races this season.

“Unlikely, Havilliard,” you answer, finally looking up from the calendar on your phone. He should really know by now how this all works—it’s race 22 for Mother’s sake—that everything is all work and no play until after the race, but as it’s Dorian’s first year in the big leagues, you have to give him the benefit of the doubt.

It’s been years since you worked with a rookie. You’ve been on Ferrari’s team for a while now, working with Azriel and veteran driver Rowan Whitethorn who accepted an offer from McLaren at the end of last season. It had been bliss, the both of them the most unproblematic drivers on the grid, letting their racing do the talking for them.

But it had been more difficult to get them to talk than you thought. The pair hadn’t been as personable to the world because of their stoic behavior, but when you were hired on, you whipped them into tip-top shape, both drivers the perfect media trained racers within all of Formula 1.

“We’re here for work. You’ll have some time after practice and the race, but Saturday night you’re not to be spotted in any clubs or casinos too late,” you explain, shoving your phone into your back pocket to give him your full attention when you say this. You watch your words settle within Dorian, his shoulders falling more and more as you continue. “You’re not to go overboard. That means no drinking, no gambling, no—”

“Fun?”

You sigh at his disheartened look. Maybe it would be alright if he spent some time with some of the veteran drivers, maneuvering Las Vegas along with them. He’ll find that he can still find fun in moderation. Too bad you know Azriel will cut that idea off at the neck.

“I know it sounds boring, Dorian,” you try easily, giving the young driver a sympathetic look. “It’s your first time in Las Vegas and that’s very exciting, but you really need to think hard about what you’re doing here because there are temptations, but there are so many cameras and eyes on you. If you can handle how things might be construed, you don’t have my blessing, but I can’t force you to sit in your hotel all weekend.”

Something sparks in those deep blue eyes at your hidden message. You’ve warned him and you’re not flat-out telling him that you’ll look the other way, that you’ll clean up a mess for him if he makes it, but he should get to live a little, at least.

You know that he’s unlikely to listen to you anyway, friends with a lot of the other young drivers who are just as excited to be in Las Vegas as Dorian is; Ruhn Danaan, Ithan Holstrom, and Tharion Ketos to name a few, with veteran driver Cassian Bailey taking them all under their wing.

That tiny detail means that you’re going to have your work cut out for you this season.

“You got it, boss,” Dorian salutes, shooting you the most innocent look he can muster.

Behind him, Azriel rolls his eyes, and you’re pretty sure you hear him mutter, “Kiss ass,” under his breath, which both you and Dorian effectively ignore.

You’re proud, he’s already learning.

“Alright, Dorian. You’re up first for bomber jacket media, I have something to talk about with Azriel, but we’ll be down soon. You know where you’re going?” You ask, even though his security detail is awaiting him in the hall outside of the suite.

“Of course,” Dorian nods, passing you with his phone already out in his hand. You give him all of three seconds before he begins posting Instagram stories about the hotel. “Thank you for everything, (Y/N).”

“My pleasure,” you answer, waiting until the door shuts behind him before spinning towards your boyfriend and pinning him with a stern look. “You need to stop being so negative, Az. Dorian is on your team and he’s here to stay, at least for the next two seasons until your contract ends. If you want Ferrari to keep you, the both of you will have to start getting along sooner rather than later, and Dorian is a sweetheart.”

“Not you too,” Azriel groans. “Come on, babe, no one can be that charming.”

You hum, stepping into your boyfriend’s warm body. If this is all the time you’re allowed this weekend, you’re going to take advantage of it. Azriel’s hands find your hips easily, a firm, comforting weight against your skin. “I seem to remember someone else that was quite charming when we met,” you tease, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him into a kiss that makes your heart race faster than the speed of his car.

“I was pretty charming, wasn’t I?” Azriel grins, waggling his eyebrows, and you love looking at him like this, happy, when his eyes crinkle in the corners with his smile, the slight dimple in his cheek deepening. He’s so handsome. “Want to go down to the Little White Chapel later and make this official?” Azriel teases and your heart fucking soars, even if he is only poking fun.

Someday the man in your arms won’t be a secret anymore. You’ll be able to flaunt him all over the world, build a life with him, love him not just in the shadows.

“Without a ring?” You joke right back, pinching his side. “I don’t think so, Az.”

“Baby, I’ll get you the biggest ring I can find,” Azriel’s words are husky, his breath hot against the shell of your ear as he dips his chin. “I’ll give you the whole damn world, (Y/N). I love you.”

“I love you too,” you respond breathlessly, and begin rethinking your refusal to marry him on the strip in Las Vegas without a ring. You’ll take him now, hell, you’ll even marry him in the sequined bomber jacket, you don’t care.

You just want to be his, not in secret anymore.

_________________________________________

Tagging people from the last F1 fic. If you don't want to be tagged just lmk 🥰

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[batmanisagatewaydrug]

slightly different from the book rec asks but you mentioned Jamie loftus so… any non-fiction podcast recs?

wow the great news is that I am pretty much constantly listening to a nonfiction podcast of one kind or another so this is huge for me. here are some of my faves!

Betwixt the Sheets: The History of Sex, Scandal, and Society - joined by a rotating cast of guest experts, sex historian Kate Lister goes on a romp through history to learn all about the sexual norms and revolutions of yesteryear.

Black People Love Paramore - in episodes that follow the formate of "Black People Love X," host Sequoia Holmes interviews her guests about their passions for pop cultural niches where Black people are often underrepresented, overlooked, or excluded altogether. heavy focus on music, as the title suggests, but topics also include Tony Hawk, pet ownership, and a memorable episode about being a slut featuring Ify Nwadiwe.

Maintenance Phase - truly like the #1 pod I get hype for when new episodes go up. hosted by fat activist Aubrey Gordon and methodology queen Michael Hobbes, focused on investigating and debunking various health and wellness fads as well as fatphobic misconceptions.

Oh No, Ross and Carrie - ONRAC just ended after thirteen and a half years of investigating all kinds of claims about wellness, spirituality, and the paranormal, ranging from self-proclaimed faith healers to exorcists to alien sightings to pet psychics to the creationist Ark-themed theme park in Kentucky. they have a HUGE backlog, great for browsing.

The Sporkful - a short and sweet podcast hosted by pasta enthusiast Dan Pashman, with each episode focusing on a different question, trend, or event from the world of food. despite being a pretty lighthearted show Pashman is admirably unafraid to tackle the less savory side of food culture; I first became aware of the podcast when he scored a searing interview with Sohla El-Wahlly after the revelation of massive workplace discrimination at YouTube's former darling, BA Test Kitchen.

The Stacks - the only book podcast I can currently tolerate. host Traci Thomas chats with authors about their new fiction and nonfiction releases and hosts a monthly book club. very chill listening, but dangerous for your to-read list.

There Are No Girls on the Internet - host Bridget Todd dives deep into tech trends, online outrages, and misinformation moments across the web. for my money, TANGOTI's coverage of the fatalities at Travis Scott's 2021 Astroworld event and the ensuing satanic panic conspiracy theories were some of the absolute best reporting around the event. currently on hiatus, so you have plenty of time to raid the archives!

Vibe Check - poet Saeed Jones and journalists Zach Stafford and Sam Sanders discuss pop culture and politics, answer listener requests for advice, and generally queen out together. you want nuance? the girlies have Nuance. genuinely one of the warmest and kindest podcasts in my rotation.

[piftamere]

satoru ending (wc : 1.6k ; cw : hospital room, brief description of the crash, mentions of death)

in your hospital bed, you feel small, you look small too. you're paler than usual, dark circles surround your tired eyes. you broke your left arm and now a cast envelops it.

“never scare me like that again” and a couple “i love you”s can be read on the white bandages, written by yuuji and kugisaki. flowers, ballons and a teddy bear decorate your room.

the doctor came by earlier, you're going to be okay. you should be out of the hospital in a few days. the police came too but megumi told them to come back tomorrow. you’re thankful he did.

megumi, yuuji and kugi look exhausted but they're smiling, you don’t have the heart to ask them to leave so you can rest. their presence is comforting, you’ll sleep later.

your ribs hurt when you breathe and even worse when you laugh, but you still reward yuuji’s poor attempts at lightening the mood with a chuckle. you can tell he needs it, you all need it.

when you recognized the driver as satoru’s former assistant, your heart missed a beat. you asked her to stop the car, but she started ranting to you, accusing you of ruining her life, of using people then discarding them.

you were so scared, you really thought you were going to die in that car. she kept speeding while not focusing on the road. going on and on about how you were a terrible person. and when she swerved off the road to avoid another car, you saw your life flash before your eyes. you saw the faces of everyone you would never get to see again. satoru’s face.

you’ll never forget the fear you felt when the car flipped over.

your thoughts are interrupted by frantic knocks on the bedroom door, megumi invites them in.

satoru walks in, he looks like a shell of himself, his hair is messy, his eyes are red.

“we’ll leave you two alone.” megumi says to you, his hand on your shoulder, before gesturing for everyone else to leave the room.

he sits down in the chair next to your bed, panic still evident in his eyes. “how are you feeling?”

“better now that you’re here.” you give him a soft smile, taking his hand in yours. you see him visibly relax.

“are you in pain?”

“a little, but i’m okay don’t worry.”

“i’ll always worry about you.”

“i know.” you say with a small smile.

“i was so scared.” the words hang in the air, raw and vulnerable. he’s staring down at your joined hands. “it’s my fault it happened. i never thought she’d take it this far, i’m so sorry.”

even if it hurts to speak, you need to say this. for him.

“how could you have guessed that your ex-assistant was insane to the point of stalking me for months and pretend to be my uber to confront me, or kill me i don’t really know what was her plan… that she would lose control of the car and that we’d have an accident. even a psychic couldn’t predict that satoru.”

hearing it out loud, it sounds ridiculous. satoru chuckles halfheartedly, wiping off a stray tear, but he stays silent.

“do you know why i was in that car?” you say barely above a whisper, squeezing his fingers to get his attention. he turns his head to look at you, you can clearly see the tears in his eyes now. he shakes his head.

“because you had an interview?”

“it’s funny because i was doing the interview, answering the same old questions and i started talking about my love for music, how it’s my passion and the only thing i want to do in life, how i feel like it’s what i was born to do you know?” he nods along, “but while i was rambling on and on, something felt wrong, it was different from all the other times i’d given that same speech. because all i could think about was you. that’s how i feel about you too. i love you, and i’m tired of pretending i don’t.”

his eyes widen, bottom lip quivering as he starts full on crying, tears streaming down his face and you panic, trying to wipe them away.

“i didn’t want to make you cry! i’m sorry satoru! i take it ba-” before you can finish your sentence, he places his hand on your mouth.

“don’t even think about taking it back.” he sniffles, melting into your touch, your hand still on his cheek. “i’m just a little emotional today, i’m fine. i love you too, more than you can even imagine.” he takes his hand off your mouth.

you exhale deeply, relieved to see he stopped crying. “okay, good…”

he takes both of your hands in his, looking into your eyes as he speaks. “i know it’s probably not what you want, given how much you love what you do and how hard you worked for all of this, but i need to say it. if this was the one thing that makes you want to quit, i get it. because a part of me wants to convince you to quit too. i don’t think i could stand losing you, these past few hours have felt like a living hell, and i would give up on everything if it meant keeping you safe, next to me. so just say the word, now or in 5 months, and i’ll leave it all behind, for you. If you’ll let me, of couse.” he looks down where your hands are joined, his voice trembling slightly. “but if you choose to keep going, i swear to protect you, i won’t let anything like this happen ever again.”

you take a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words and the sincerity in his eyes. “i’ll think about it,” you say softly. “i’m probably going to take a break but i don’t want to quit. i’m not saying i’ll never change my mind, but i love what i do too much.” you give him a reassuring smile. “and how likely is it that i’d get stalked twice, right?” you chuckle, attempting to lighten the mood.

he shakes his head, a faint smile tugging at his lips but worry still clear on his face.

“i’ve never seen you so serious ‘toru. come on, smile.” you say with a pout, poking his cheek where his dimple usually is. his smile grows a bit but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. still, it’s good enough for now. your voice hoarse, you say warmly, “oh there it is.”

you scoot over to the side of the bed, tapping on the covers to invite him to join you.

“come. you can’t say no, i almost died today.”

“i wouldn't dream of saying no.”

he climbs on, careful not to touch your cast, he wraps his arms around you, gently, like he’s afraid of breaking you.

in his embrace, the tension that has been gripping your body since the accident begins to ease. the steady rhythm of his heartbeat calms you down. you finally feel safe, for the first time since the crash. the hospital room and the pain fade away, and all that remains is the warmth of his body against yours.

you close yours eyes, his fingers trace soothing patterns on your arm.

“can i tell you a story?” his voice is soft, gentle.

you nod, “sure.”

“do you remember when we met?”

“yeah,” you say, a chuckle escaping despite the pain. “i thought you were an asshole.”

he coughs, clearing his throat awkwardly. “well, i was… but…”

“but?” you ask, curiosity piqued.

“but,” he continues, “the moment I saw you, I knew you were going to be someone important to me. you had this fire in your eyes, this determination. even though you were giving me the cold shoulder, i couldn’t help but be drawn to you.”

you tilt your head, gazing up at him. “really? i always thought you just enjoyed getting under my skin.”

he laughs warmly, the sound a comforting wave against your back. “maybe a little. but that was just my way of trying to get close to you. i remember watching you from across the room that first night, thinking, ‘i have to get to know her.’ there was something about you, something that called me.”

the memory of that night comes back to you. “you were so cocky, acting like you owned the place.”

he chuckles a bit sheepishly, a whine escaping his lips, “i’m sorryyyy, i was trying to impress you and it backfired. i really didn’t want to make a fool of myself…”

“and yet you did.” you tease lightly.

“and look where that got me.” he grins, tightening his hold on you.

there’s a moment of silence before he speaks up again, “so… am i your boyfriend now?”

you hum, “hm if you’d do me the honor yes.”

“and you’re my girlfriend?” he whispers into your neck, you can feel him smile against your skin.

“that’s usually how it works yes.” you mumble as you drift off to sleep in his arms.

fun facts :

satoru's the one who changed his contact name to "my pest"

they moved in together a few months after the accident

satoru's already thinking about proposing after one year together and yn has to keep reminding him that they don't have to rush it

megumi and yn still see each other often despite not living together anymore, and they keep working together too

author's note

ignore if some things dont make sense :3

satoru got his happy ending, megumi and maki are next dw !! 😗😗

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ tugging on heartstrings ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

as an aspiring solo artist, you dream of making it big in the music industry. With your talent and unwavering determination, you find yourself entangled in a web of romantic pursuits amidst rumors and betrayal. Will you emerge unscathed and manage to navigate your love life in the chaos of fame?

Part thirty-eight - the end

rbs and interactions are highly appreciated <3

taglist : closed :) to be added leave a comment on the masterlist of the smau

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[astralflower-writes]

you've got mail!!

☾ miya atsumu x female! reader

☾ genre: fluff

☾ warnings: none

☾ check out the haikyuu masterlist here

it's already 2am, and atsumu being him, he’s just lounging by the living room when he heard a ping from his phone.

it’s an e-mail from you.

my dearest volleyball champ,

today marks our 10th year together!! who would have thought that we'll be together this long huh?

i'm kidding!!

hey, do you remember the time when you used to purposely hit the volleyball to me during gym class? and how my best friend would scream at you?

and remember the time when we went on a school trip and we had to row the makeshift boat? yeah, you made us jump into the water because you said we should became one with the boat.

we've made a lot of memories together. i hope you still want to make more with me.

i also hope by this time we've already built our own home and talking about our future together.

i love you, tsumu. i really do. words aren't enough to tell you how much i love you.

now, watch the video attached just because you love me that much. ;)

he clicked on the video. your face was shown on the screen.

it was taken few years ago, both of you just graduated from high school.

you were self-recording. the graduation ceremony just ended.

you were running. running towards him. then in a second atsumu came into the frame, looking at you with the warmest smile spread across his face.

he then greeted you with a kiss on your forehead.

“congratulations to us, baby.” he said as he held you closer. “tsumu wait!” then you let out a giggle. you held out the camera so the both of you were seen better.

“before you say anything, this is for future projects.” you said as you faced the camera again. astumu just laughed at your antics.

“first of all, congratulations! we survived high school!” you said cheering and atsumu joining you. 

“okay, okay” you said leading him near the bleachers by the field. setting the camera down making it look like you two were being interviewed. holding out your to his face making it your ‘microphone’.

“now, mister miya atsumu. what are you’re plans after high school?” you said. him acting like he was deeply thinking. “you look like a dork, tsumu.”

“your handsome dork.” he replied. “to answer your question, i plan to pursue volleyball.”

“oh that’s nice, ba- WHAT!? YOU GOT ACCEPTED!?!!” he then went to give you the warmest hug and swung you around the field. the camera forgotten.

“and i’ll be your number one fan.” you said brightly. 

“what about you?” he said as he pulled you closer, both of you forgetting about the recording camera. “i actually got accepted to med school.” you said casually.

—

“hurry!! let’s open the door!” you said excitedly behind the camera. “you’re excited huh.” atsumu said with a smirk plastered on his face. the both of you were walking now on your shared apartment.

“it’s practically empty now, but we'll fill up this home in no time. right, baby?” atsumu looked at you after circling in the very spacious living room. “it’s perfect, love. we’re going to build this home together.” he then walked towards you taking the camera away from you and setting it by the box beside the both of you. he enveloped you in a warm hug. the camera forgotten again.

—

it was the day of your first day as a resident at the local hospital.

atsumu took you out since he said you've taken a hug step towards your dream. the video showed both of you eating and strolling the streets. you had perfectly captured atsumu walking infront of you looking for his brother's restaurant.

"god. i really love you tsumu."

—

now it looks like it's the last clip.

your face was shown in the frame. you were sitting on your shared bed back home. you were looking at something with a big smile on your face.

"hey remember the time you said we'd have a whole team of babies?" you asked while chuckling.

"well, it's going to happen soon." after you said, you showed your ultrasound.

"i get to see this little one today!" you said tears forming in your eyes. you then showed a video you filmed of the heart beart.

atsumu cannot describe his feeling of joy and contentment. he hurriedly made his way from the living room to the bedroom.

he made himself comfortable and hugged your belly.

“hey there” you said still half asleep.

burying his face on your shoulders “can i see our baby, y/n?”

turning to face him, you reached for the drawer of the bedside table and handed him a copy of the sonogram.

“i’m going to be a dad”

“I’M GOING TO BE DAD!” he happily shouted then proceeded to pamper you with kisses.

[the-vast-corner-of-the-galaxy]

KW 2024- Day 2: Protectiveness

Day 2 of Kataang Week hosted by @kataang-week

Prompt: Protectiveness/Bodyguard - Tuesday, July 30th

I basically remembered this picture by @ sheepnishly on insta and thought it would be cool using it for this particular prompt.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 3K

Modern AU where Katara is a singer and starts to fall in love with her bodyguard, Aang. 

It was a lovely morning in Ba Sing Se, and Aang, who was a martial arts teacher at one of Ba Sing Se’s biggest martial arts centers, was looking for jobs on the newspaper. Aang loved loved teaching, but he was already getting a little bored of his job. It paid a salary that was enough to get by in the big city’s middle ring, but he wanted to do something different from being a simply martial arts teacher. He got through various ads, but none of them had a position that he was interested in, until he got to a particularly small ad at the bottom left corner of the page:

WE ARE LOOKING FOR BODYGUARDS 

MUST BE FROM AGES 20-29

REQUIREMENTS:

Military officers

Martial arts masters

Daofei

MEET US AT THE JAZMINE DRAGON TEA SHOP ANY WEEK DAY IN THE AFTERNOONS

“This is such a weird ad,” said Aang out loud. However, curiosity got the best of the master and he decided to go to the Jazmine Dragon Tea Shop in the afternoon. Luckily, today he did not have to go to the academy to teach, so he took the train to the upper ring and headed to the tea shop. 

When he got to the busy tea shop, he was not exactly sure of what to do. He walked up to the counter where an older man with a long beard was preparing tea with a few other workers. 

“Hello! Welcome to the Jazmine Dragon!,” greeted the man. “My name is Iroh, what can I help you with?”

“Hello! I saw this ad on the newspaper and they told me to come here,” said Aang, pointing at the ad in the page. 

Iroh looked at it and gave him a warm smile and said: “They are over there in the back, at the largest table with the blue flowerpot.” Aang thanked him and headed to the back of the shop to the table where Iroh pointed. In that table, four men with dark blue suits sat while drinking tea. They all wore black sunglasses and had stern and serious expressions. 

“Uh… hello?” Aang greeted awkwardly. “I was told to come here for the ad-”

“Yeah, yeah, come here,” said one of the men. He was a tall and lean man with a short, brown ponytail, an undercut, a goatee, and brownish skin. He let Aang sit down in front of him and tilted his dark glasses down, revealing his dark blue eyes. 

“Are you by any chance a military officer, a martial arts master, or part of the Daofei?” he asked sternly. 

“Well, yes, I am martial arts master,” replied Aang, humbly. 

“Right,” said the man, writing notes on a piece of paper, “I am going to ask a few questions and later we will test your abilities in the martial arts. Prepare yourself.” 

Aang did not know what he meant by that last phrase, but he answered every question that was asked with full honesty. This was probably the most interesting interview he has received by far, but he was not exactly liking where it was going. 

When the inteview was finished, the man with the ponytail led Aang outside and thanked him for coming. Aang was walking away from the tea shop, when he suddenly felt a pair of eyes observing him. He then heard footsteps coming from multiple directions. Who could’ve been following him? 

Aang turned around and saw two dark figures in front of him. They were wearing all black suits and carried weapons. Aang stopped and positioned himself to defend himself. Aang did not like street fights or attacking people with no reason, but sometimes, he had to defend himself in life or dead situations. 

Four more figures came from the other sides, and had him surrounded. They were looking at him attentively, seeing if he would make a move. Aang stood still and kept calm, waiting for the other cloaked figures to move. 

One of them sprinted towards Aang and tried attacking him with a knife. Aang removed the knife with a swift of his hand and stunned him. Another one tried jumping on him, but Aang quickly threw him on the ground. The third one tried kicking him from the sides, but Aang quickly reacted and in just a few kicks, had stunned him. 

Before Aang could catch his breath, another figured began choking him with a rope, but thanks to his skills, Aang broke away from the grip and stunned the figure. More figures came running to him and attacked him from all sides. “This is so weird,” Aang thought to himself. He was easily defending and stunning the cloaked figures, but was growing a bit tired and gasped for air. Luckily, the figures ran away from him in a few minutes and left Aang alone in the streets of the Upper Ring. 

When Aang finished catching his breath, a familiar figure came from behind him and clapped his hands. It was the man who interviewed him in the tea shop.

“Impressive,” he said, “You’re hired. Now come with us.”

“Wait I-” Aang tried to speak, but a black limosine stopped where they were and they all huddled Aang to get inside the vehicle. Aang was seated between two of the men with suits, and the man who interviewed him sat in front of him and took out a can of the famous Cactus Juice.

“Are you guys the mafia?” Aang asked, feeling worried.

“Oh no, you got it all wrong,” the man laughed, “We are actually the security team of the famous singer songwriter Katara. You obviously know her, right?”

“I only heard a few songs by her,” Aang replied. “Why didn’t you guys mention that early?”

“If we were to reveal the reason why we are looking for extra security, the tea shop would’ve been a chaotic place,” said the man, “So we wanted to make the hiring as weird and mysterious as possible.”

Aang simply nodded, still feeling uneasy. “So… Where are we going mister…”

“Sokka,” replied the man. “You can call me Sokka. I am Katara’s older and awesome brother, and I am her manager. You said your name was Aang, right?”

“Yes, my name is Aang,” the young master replied. “You didn’t answer my question. Where are we going?”

“Oh! We are going to the recording studio, where Ms. Katara wishes to meet you,” said Sokka, “Do you want some Cactus Juice? It’s the quenchiest!” 

Aang politely declined the drink and stayed silent through the ride to the studio. When they got to the place, Aang was shocked to see the humongous building in front of him. It was about 40 stories and had a white, round, shape. They went into the building and took the elevator to the 34th floor. A white door in front of them had the words written on a sign that said “Do not disturb”, but Sokka simply knocked the door and was answered by a smaller lady with black hair tied up in a bun, dark glasses, and a black suit. 

“Toph, is Katara in there?” Sokka asked.

“What do you think, dumbass?” she asked sarcastically. “Of course she is in here! She says you’re late!”

Aang entered the room awkwardly and tried not making any noise. When they walked into the studio, a lean woman was standing looking at a large window that showed almost all of Ba Sing Se. She had wavy, dark brown, hair, and wore a short blue dress covered with a denim jacket and tall, white platforms. 

“You’re late, Sokka,” said the woman. “Did you find the new recruit?”

“Yes, Kat” said Sokka. “We found you another bodyguard. He is a martial arts master, a skilled fighter, and really nice!”

The woman turned around and revealed herself, and when Aang saw her, he felt like he was struck by lightning again. The singer was probably the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen. Her long, wavy hair fell perfectly on her shoulders, her eyes were the color of the ocean, and you could even see the water reflected on them. Her lips were painted a light shade of red, but completed her face perfectly. Katara was absolutely stunning, and Aang could feel his heart skip multiple beats at the sight of her. 

“Hello,” she greeted nicely. “What is your name?”

“Uh… my name is Aang,” replied Aang, still bewildered by the artist’s beauty. “Nice to meet you, Katara.” 

Katara extended her hand and shook it. “It is also nice to meet you, Aang. Come here, let us talk.” Katara welcomed Aang into the room with the large window and offered him a seat. He couldn’t take his eyes off Katara, not just because of her beauty, but because there was something about her that he felt drawn to, an unspoken energy. 

“So, Aang,” Katara began. “Are you from Ba Sing Se?”

“Well… no,” replied Aang. “I am from the Air Islands, but moved here a few years ago.”

“Oh! That’s intriguing,” replied Katara, taking a sip of water, “I haven’t been to the Air Islands in a while. It’s such a lovely place to visit. The mountains are gorgeous to look at, and the temples are some of the most impressive architecture I’ve seen.”

“Yeah, it’s a pretty nice place,” replied Aang, trying not to sound awkward. “So… how is this job going to work?”

“Oh! It’s fairly simple!” said Katara, grabbing a folder from the other side of the table. “Aang, you are going to be my personal bodyguard. You are going to be part of my personal team, which includes Toph, who is in charge of security, the three guards, Sokka, my manager, as well as many other people you will eventually meet. You are not just going to be working at the concerts, but also as a companion, a member of Team Katara.”

Aang nodded with too much enthusiasm and seized the folder from Katara’s hands before she could fully give it to him. He read all of the terms and conditions to his contrat, his salary, which would be very generous and three times his salary he got from the academy, and his schedules. He was technically going to be with Katara almost 24/7, but he did not mind, except for the fact that he would probably be very exhausted by the end of each day and each tour. 

Once Aang finished reading the terms and conditions, he signed the contrat and handed it to Katara, who gave it to Sokka. Katara stood up and shook Aang’s hand, welcoming him officially into the team. 

A few hours after getting to know the rest of Katara’s crew, he left the studio and was escorted by Toph through the elevator. 

“Tomorrow, you must be in this address by 9 AM,” she said, taking out a card. It had the address of a house in the Upper Ring, which he figured was Katara’s residency. “Also, Katara can be quite temperamental, so be careful about what you say.” Toph took out her glasses and handed the card to Aang. The master realized that the woman’s eyes were covered with a thick, grey, film. She was blind, which made Aang wonder how she was in charge of a whole security team, but of course, he didn’t mind.

“We will see you tomorrow, Aang,” she said as the elevator door shut behind her. Aang headed outside the studio and took the last train to the Middle Ring, filled with determination about his new job. 

***

The next morning, Aang headed to the address he was given last night. He got there at 8:55 AM, five minutes exactly before the time. The house he was sent to was a large, and impressive Earth Kingdom mansion. When he knocked the door, he was received by Toph, who welcomed him into the residence. 

“This is Katara’s residence,” said Toph. “You might be wondering why it is so large. The crew actually lives with here. She likes the company of people and loves interacting with the rest of the staff.”

Aang was impressed by the entire house and gawkwed at its design. The outside of the house had the style of many Ba Sing Se mansions, but the inside was decorated with objects from the Water Tribe. 

“Aang!” Katara exclaimed from the stairs. “You’re here! And just in time!”

Aang smiled at Katara’s warm welcome, and then Sokka came and began to explain the details of the day’s events. “Today, there is going to be a press conference about the upcoming album. It’s going to be up in the North of the Middle Ring. We are expecting a large amount of expectators and interviewers, so we will need to increase the security. Aang, you will be near the exit of the press room ready to escort Katara at any moment, and Toph will secure the perimeter with the guards and extra staff given to us. Is everything clear?”

Everyone nodded and then got in the vehicles from Katara’s garage to head to the press conference.When they got there, there were already many interviewers and reporters in the room. Aang got to his position and saw Toph with the rest of the guards securing the area. The conference began with questions about Katara’s upcoming album and about the upcoming tour. As the hours passed, the questions started getting more personal and Aang noticed Katara was feeling uneasy. 

A particular interviewer from the Earth Kingdom was pressing Katara on questions about a relationship she had with a famous activist named Jet in the past. Katara was visibly uncomfortable and tried everything to evade answering any details about their rupture, but the interviewer was still pressuring Katara. Sokka yelled at the man for being too invasive and did his best to go to the next question. The singer glanced at Aang with a call for help in her eyes. Aang understood the signal in a glimpse and escorted Katara out of the conference room. Sokka kept arguing with the reporters while Aang escorted Katara cradling her in his arms and covering her from the cameras of the paparazzi. When the door got shut behind them, Aang took her to the nearest empty room so she could calm down and shut the door. 

“Are you okay?” Aang asked with a tone of concern. “Would you like some water? Something to calm down?”

Before Katara could answer, she broke down in tears. Aang was not exactly sure what to do in that moment. He wanted to calm her down, but did not want to be too invasive since it was his first day working and barely knew Katara. 

Aang crouched and got closer to Katara, handing her a bottle of water so that she could drink it. She took the bottle and sipped on some of the water. There were heavy tears streaming down her eyes, which was making her makeup cascade on her cheeks. Aang decided to give her some tissues he had in his pocket so she could wipe her tears. 

“Thank you, Aang,” Katara whispered, calming down. “I always hate when they begin pressing so much on my personal life. Why do they need to take personal information from my relationships and make entertainment out of it? I cannot stand it!”

Aang stayed silent for a few moments, but then said: “Because they have nothing better to do. They just want to make profit out of the life of someone, and you have all the right to not answer any questions willingly.”

“I know, but it still annoys me,” said Katara. “You wouldn’t like it if the papers began publishing details about your last romantic relationship, right?”

Aang shook his head and stayed silent for a few moments, not sure of what to say to Katara. 

“Would you like me to tell Sokka to get the car so we can leave?” Aang asked, heading to the door.

“Wait!” Katara exclaimed, pulling Aang’s hand. “Can you please stay for a bit?” Aang’s heart skipped a few beats, but he turned back to the woman in front of him. When Aang faced the singer in front of him, he did not just see a music star, but a simple woman, who was showing emotion and needed comfort. 

Aang sat next to Katara and stayed close to her. Katara then turned around and wrapped her arms around Aang’s shoulders and cried some more. The young bodyguard did not know what to do and froze for a few moments, but decided to return the hug lightly and wrapped his long arms around her. Katara tightened her grip on his shoulders, searching for more security in Aang. A few minutes passed, and Katara’s cries seemed to ease, and her breathing came back to normal. 

“Thank you, Aang,” she cooed, looking at his silver grey eyes while holding his arms. Katara noticed the color in her bodyguard’s eyes and saw how pretty they were. The dark silver flakes made his eyes look like diamond jewelry and gave her a sense of security and comfort, a security she has been looking for years. 

A faint knock was heard from the door, and Katara turned around hoping it was not the paparazzi. 

“Kat?” Sokka called from the door. “Are you in there? The press left. We can go now.”

“You can come in, Sokka,” replied Katara. Sokka entered the room with caution approached the bodyguard and his sister with caution. 

“Are you okay?” Sokka asked. 

“Yes,” said Katara, following Sokka to the door. Then, she turned to Aang, stared sweetly into his eyes, and said: “Everything is better now.”

Aang felt his cheeks turn pink, and really hoped Katara or Sokka did not notice. He was starting to like his job a lot more, even if it had its stressful situations. Aang felt like he was going to enjoy his job, not because he worked for a famous singer, but because he cared for Katara. 

[fuckyeahisawthat]

While this article does not answer my #1 burning question of how you dismount from a speeding sandworm, there are a lot of great pull quotes, including:

On Paul and Chani:

"...I wanted to make sure the audience will understand that Paul becomes a dark figure, that his choices are exactly what Chani was afraid of. He becomes the colonizers the Fremen were fighting against.... He betrayed her in many ways. But the big thing for Chani is that it’s not about love. It’s about the fact that he becomes the figure that will keep the Fremen in their mental jail. A leader that is not there to free the Fremen, but to control them."

On the duel between Paul and Feyd-Rautha:

"...we approached their fight at the end like some kind of symbolic union. The way their bodies get close to one another, there’s something animalistic, an intimacy, I was looking for."

On the infamous popcorn bucket:

"I’m at peace with the bucket."

Full article text under the cut, including Fremen sex lives, murder toddler adaptation choices, and the teeny tiniest of teasers for Dune Messiah:

Denis Villeneuve Answers All Your Questions About ‘Dune: Part Two’

He explains why Lady Jessica’s face is so heavily tattooed, whether Paul considers himself the Messiah and what he thinks of those Javier Bardem memes.

By Amy Nicholson

April 17, 2024

This weekend, “Dune: Part Two” muscles back into IMAX theaters with the verve of Timothée Chalamet rodeo-riding a giant sandworm. After nearly two months in theaters, the film is the current champion of this year’s box office race, with a total take of more than $680 million. (It’s also available to rent or buy on some streaming platforms.) The film’s success is thanks in part to audiences that have returned over and over to get lost in the rocky warrens and spiritual reckonings of the planet Arrakis. One admirer reports he’s seen the movie 25 times to date.

That there’s so much to explore in “Dune: Part Two” is a credit to its writer and director, Denis Villeneuve, who boldly reshaped Frank Herbert’s complex and cerebral 1965 novel “Dune.” Villeneuve split the book and its themes into two films: “Dune: Part One,” released in 2021, focused on the political struggles between two families, the Atreides and the Harkonnens. “Part Two” delves into religious fervor as the two surviving Atreides, young Paul (Chalamet) and his mother, Lady Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson), ingratiate themselves with Arrakis’s Indigenous desert tribe, the Fremen, by allowing the locals to believe that Paul is their Messiah — a prophecy that, if it comes to pass, will mean the slaughter of billions of victims across the galaxy.

Villeneuve has yearned to tell this story since he was a teenager in Quebec. His devotion is palpable; every frame feels steeped in monkish contemplation. Yet, he’s also a visual dramatist who doesn’t want audiences to get tripped up by too much exposition. His scripts give only passing mention to core concepts like spice, a psychedelic dust that powers everything from space travel to Paul’s clairvoyant hallucinations.

Though Villeneuve doesn’t want to overexplain, he was willing to provide some answers in an interview via video where every question about the film — even silly questions! — was on the table.

Does Chalamet’s Paul Atreides actually believe he’s the Messiah? What’s the meaning of Jessica’s face tattoos? Villeneuve also got into the erotic lives of his desert dwellers and the extra narrative weight he threw behind Paul’s Fremen love interest, Chani, played by Zendaya. As Villeneuve said with a grin, “Chani is my secret weapon.”

Here are edited excerpts from our conversation.

The last time we spoke, you weren’t sure what to make of the sandworm-shaped “Dune” popcorn bucket. It went on to be so popular that it sold out in cities before opening day and is being resold online for around $175. What do you think of it now?

I thought that the bucket was an insane marketing idea. I laughed so much. It is so out there. I don’t know who designed it, but they’re a bit of a genius. I’m at peace with the bucket.

In this film, Javier Bardem’s character Stilgar is reduced to a guileless follower of Paul Atreides, who Stilgar believes is the new Messiah. His conversion is tragic. But also, Bardem’s awe-face has become a funny meme, and the second time I saw the movie, people laughed at almost every line he spoke. Did that reaction surprise you?

No. I am very happy when you say that he is a tragic figure. For me, he is the most tragic figure of all. The idea to bring humor to Stilgar was to make him lovable, to feel the humanity in that character. He’s not an austere figure, he has a big heart. But his beliefs, his faith, his reactions bring humor — and that is something I love about making a sci-fi film, because I can talk about that without offending people because it’s a fake religion. I designed all the prayers myself, so I know it’s fake. I find Stilgar very funny. And when people laugh, I’m happy because that was the intention.

Someone makes a dig that Stilgar has found a savior again. This is not even his first time?

All his life he has been raised with that dream. So I suggest that every time a guy comes from outside with a lot of charisma, he hopes he’s found him. Like in the Bible, we have tons of prophets before Jesus came.

The arc of “Dune: Part Two” is Paul accepting that he must become the Messiah — and get billions of people killed. Does he truly believe that he is the Messiah? Or does he just decide to let the Fremen believe that he is?

I don’t think he believes that he is the Messiah. I think he feels the burden of the heritage that the Bene Gesserit [the mystical sisterhood that Jessica belongs to] have laid among the Fremen, and he sees the potential to use that religious power to survive.

Paul is warned that no man can survive drinking the spiritual water of life. But as that’s part of the lore of a planet seeded with manipulative propaganda by his own mother, I have to ask: Have other men actually been drinking the water and dying? Have they been scared off from trying? Is the warning just a setup for a magic trick?

There are people that have tried it in the past and died. In Frank Herbert’s world, femininity is a power. I think Herbert was fascinated by motherhood, by the power of creation. I love this idea that the power is held by women. It’s something that was ahead of his time when he wrote it and I tried to put the focus on it.

You say so much with Jessica’s costuming. In the first film, her look is immaculate and baroque. This film begins with her in rags, but she finds another path to being dressed and treated like royalty. And she gets a lot of tattoos on her face. Why did she get so many more face tattoos than the outgoing reverend mother?

She’s trying to play on the symbolism that was put in the prophecy. She’s supposed to be the mother of the Messiah, so I wanted to bring the idea that she was like the pope of the reverend mothers on Arrakis. There’s some kind of madness in writing elements of the prophecies on her face. Frankly, I think when you drink the worm poison, it affects your sanity — and the same with Paul. I like the idea that we feel she’s going too far.

Jessica is already pregnant when the first movie ends, and she’s still pregnant at the end of this film. Which means you had to condense this massive story into less than nine months because her body is a time clock.

The idea was to compress the book so that Paul will feel the pressure to get the Fremens’ trust, to start gearing up — but not to succeed, not to have the time to create a real war. Time is against him.

Because in the book, this takes years. Long enough for Jessica to give birth to a very unnerving daughter, Alia. We glimpse Alia as an adult — she’s played by Anya Taylor-Joy — but you skipped over seeing her murder people as a toddler. Was it hard to decide no “murder toddler”?

I think pregnant women look tremendously powerful. To use that power was very exciting. And usually when you see a pregnant woman onscreen, she’s always giving birth. To avoid that moment, to stay in the state of being pregnant, I thought was very Frank Herbert-like. I was going away from the killer toddler, but I thought that was more fresh and original. Honestly, it’s one of the things that I’m proudest of in the adaptation.

Speaking of female power, let’s talk about Chani.

Chani is my secret weapon. Frank Herbert was sad to realize that people saw the book as a celebration of Paul Atreides. He wanted to do a cautionary tale against messianic figures, a warning against blending religion and politics. I wrote the second movie trying to be more faithful to Frank Herbert’s intentions than to the book. In the book, Chani is just a follower. I came up with the idea of her being reluctant. She gives us the critical distance and perspective on Paul’s journey. I wanted to make sure the audience will understand that Paul becomes a dark figure, that his choices are exactly what Chani was afraid of. He becomes the colonizers the Fremen were fighting against. And then the movie becomes the cautionary tale Frank Herbert was wishing for.

Paul makes a choice at the end that will go on to kill billions of people. That’s so large and theoretical that it’s hard to grasp. But you structure your climax so that in that moment of betrayal, he’s also betraying the love of his life — a betrayal we understand.

He betrayed her in many ways. But the big thing for Chani is that it’s not about love. It’s about the fact that he becomes the figure that will keep the Fremen in their mental jail. A leader that is not there to free the Fremen, but to control them. That’s the tragedy of all tragedies. Like the Michael Corleone of sci-fi, he becomes what he wanted to avoid. And he will try to find a way to save his soul in the third part.

But “Dune Messiah,” the book your third film is based on, picks up 12 years later with a reunited Paul and Chani. How far did you feel you could push her anger? Because at some point, she’s going to have to forgive him.

That anger is tremendous. I don’t want to reveal what I’m going to do with the third movie. I know exactly what to do. I’m writing it right now. But there’s a lot of firepower there and I’m very excited about that decision.

In the spirit of no dumb questions, Chani says that Paul sand-walks like a drunk lizard. Which means Arrakis has booze?

Actually, there is spice beer. In the book, there are Fremen parties, even some orgies involving spice. I didn’t bring that into the movies because it’s PG-13.

Body fluids have significance to the Fremen. Spitting is the giving of water, a sign of respect. But tears and vomit are a waste. So what is kissing?

As long as you don’t lose your humidity, you can kiss. It’s an exchange of fluids — an act of love, when you think about it. Fremens love to kiss.

What about the, um, other romantic fluids?

You cannot have sex outside, for sure. But they are very sexual. I suspect that all sexual intercourse happens in environments that are protected from losing moisture. When they are in their sietches [or caves] underground, those are sealed. You don’t need to wear stillsuits inside them. We can deduce from that there is no problem to have sex in a sietch.

By the way, who decided that Fremen was pronounced Freh-men and not Free-men?

All the pronunciations, I took them from recordings of Frank Herbert’s voice. Frank Herbert used “Freh-men,” which I love. It makes it less on-the-nose.

You kept two major characters out of the first movie and only introduced them now: the princess Irulan, played by Florence Pugh, and the Baron Harkonnen’s nephew Feyd-Rautha, played by Austin Butler. The princess is the first voice in the books, the first face onscreen in David Lynch’s “Dune” [1984]. What made you sure holding them back was the right move, despite three years of fans asking, “Hey, where are they?”

When people ask me what was the biggest challenge in making those movies, it’s writing them. In order to make this adaptation, we have to make big, bold decisions. One was that the first movie should be seen from Paul’s perspective. I wasn’t able to do that entirely because I had to go to the Harkonnens�� side to introduce them so that the story will be clear, but I tried to find an elegant simplicity in the story structure. And I wanted, frankly, to keep some firepower for the second movie.

Why is Feyd-Rautha’s gladiator scene in black and white? And what are the splats in the sky above the dome?

Frank Herbert explores the impact of ecosystems on cultures, on humans. How it influences the way we evolve — our biology, culture, technology, mythology, religion. The psychology of a tribe is linked with their environment. If you want to know things about the Fremen, you observe the desert. I wanted to have the same approach to the Harkonnens. They killed nature. It’s a plastic planet. One thing left was sunlight, but instead of a sun that reveals color, it kills colors. When you are outside, it’s all black and white. It gives us ideas about how these people perceive reality, politics, violence in a binary world — it brings the idea of fascism. It also gave me the opportunity to bring images that remind us in our memories of World War II and the Nazi regime. So it’s an idea that I had as I was writing. Then I had the idea to have strange fireworks in the sky that will look like Rorschach drawings. It’s a nightmarish celebration. The perception of a dome is not accurate. It’s just that the fireworks reach a certain altitude and then they explode. But it’s true that it looks like a liquid that falls from the sky.

Forgive me if I am not being fair to sadistic, psychopathic Feyd-Rautha. But all of the gladiators were supposed to be drugged for his happy birthday massacre. The one who secretly isn’t puts up a worthy battle. So I assumed that Feyd-Rautha isn’t that great of a fighter. But at the end, he’s the only warrior who is Paul’s equal?

It’s a show. You see that the Harkonnens are very cruel and their society is very paranoiac. His opponent is known in the books as one of the great fighters, Lieutenant Lanville. I tried to show that Feyd is excited to have a real opponent. He has a code of honor, he respects the effort, and he has fun with it. That’s the idea I tried to convey — he’s not a coward.

Audiences might remember that the Bene Gesserit wanted Jessica’s child to be a girl, that Timothée Chalamet’s Paul Atreides was supposed to be female. And they specifically bred Feyd-Rautha to be a male. Were they hoping these youngsters would mate?

Yeah. They are trying to increase the potential of humanity by breeding the best specimen of each tribe or family. A baby between Feyd-Rautha and an Atreides daughter would have brought peace between Harkonnens and the Atreides, and created an über being.

Will you read any of the internet fan fiction spawned by the idea of Timothée and Austin hooking up?

[Laughs] But you know, we approached their fight at the end like some kind of symbolic union. The way their bodies get close to one another, there’s something animalistic, an intimacy, I was looking for.

I rewatched the first film again recently. It opens with a quote in another language: “Dreams are messages from the deep.” I love that quote. It feels like how a film resonates, too. But it wasn’t until I had subtitles on at home that I realized who said it. Of all the important characters and cultures to establish, you gave that major moment — the very beginning of your franchise — to an anonymous Sardaukar from the murderous imperial army that we’re cheering to see get killed. Why?

I love your question. The Sardaukar are the dark side of the Fremen. I thought it would be interesting to have a tiny bit of insight that they are not just tremendous warriors, but they have spirituality, philosophical thought. They have substance. Also, their sound was designed by Hans Zimmer. I absolutely loved how it feels like it’s coming from the deep, from the ancient world. Frank Herbert said beginnings are very delicate times. By starting with a Sardaukar priest, I was indicating to the fans that I was taking absolute freedom with this adaptation, that I was hijacking the book.

But you also deeply love the book. So when you make these bold changes, do you feel like asking Frank Herbert for forgiveness?

Yes. There’s so many darlings that you kill. An adaptation is an act of violence.

[0sincerelyella]

Aw love the new Joe content girly! Please can we get one where you and Joey b go to some sort of ~Hollywood party~ and it’s just really cute and people/the internet love how cute you 2 are together! Idk something along those lines

Red Carpet MVP -Joe burrow

Summary: Joes up more an MVP! most valuable partner according to magazines, and every news instagram on the planet

notes: EEE this is so exciting!! i love your energy thank you for requesting:) i also made up everyone’s dates names so

i have bunches of requests i apologize if this is rushed

all my y/n characters are going to be og bengals fans bc i am biased

the dress she wears on carpet: (ik its prom dressy just bare with me)

the suit he wears: (the shirt is cut all the way to the bully button and he has no tie, going scandalous lol)

Hours and hours of searching for an outfit to be the plus one on the red carpet is tiring. y/n was stressing out more than she had ever stressed out before. she wanted to impress joe, but more importantly impress all the eyes that would be on her and joe all night. the two had been dating for awhile but just now gone public, so the media is all over them like travis kelce and taylor swift.

she didn’t want to be too simple, because she was dating with THE fashion nova, joe burrow. but she also didn’t want to be too over the top, or overpower the spotlight that is one hundred percent made for her MVP.

Joe had asked her to pick a purple dress, feeling the mood to rock an all purple suit on the carpet, to which she happily obliged. and after hours of deciding she finally chose her dress.

it was light purple with ripples all to the bottom, she felt as if she was going to prom again, doing a spin in her dress as she watched the mirror she smiled. she couldn’t be happier than in this moment.

not even minutes later, joe knocks on the door and lets himself in. “are you ready ba-“ he stops in the middle of the door way, his under shirt was cut low, and the suit curved his body in a perfect way. his hair was longer, shaggy, and pushed to the side. he looked to y/n in shock

“you are the most stunning woman on the planet” he says, grabbing her hips and pulling her closer. “thank you mr. sheisty” she says with a smile

he laughs, taking her hand and gesturing a quick spin. “i love you” he says, dipping her and kissing her lips. “i love you too” she states, standing up and walking out of the door.

the limo ride there was quiet, mostly joe calming y/ns nerves and y/n freaking out even more. once they arrived to the venue, joe stepped out of the vehicle, holding the door open and putting out his hand, allowing his beautiful girlfriend to get out of the car, he linked arms with her after shutting the door and they made their way down the carpet

many football players, old and new, were already sitting around the carpet chatting, intervening, mingling. y/n observed the scenarios in-front of her and took a deep breath. “Joe joe! who is this? she’s gorgeous!” joe smiled, pulling her closer. answering their questions simply “my girlfriend” and continuing to walk through the carpet

interview after interview she was asked more questions than joe, but he didn’t mind. he knew how much getting in the spotlight would help towards her anxiety, and he didn’t enjoy spotlight much so it was a win win.

joe had met up with ja’marr, and some of the other boys, and y/n stood with their dates. “hi y/n!” ja’marrs girl said, a large smile on her face. her name was ruby and she and y/n were very close considering how much time joe and ja’marr spent with eachother. “hi rubes!” she smiled, pulling her into a hug. paparazzi stood around taking pictures of them

even as joe mingled with other teammates, and y/n mingled with their girls, joes hand never left y/n in some way. wether it was around her waist or holding her hand or even on her shoulder. paparazzi was loving it, taking pictures of his hand every place he put it. he opened doors for her, he held her close, he kissed her head even when she wasnt looking at him.

“i love you” he’d whisper, as soon as each of his friends began to talk to others and they were both free for even just a moment.

so many football players who she grew up watching were on this red carpet, and when joe left his friends to mingle with more people that’s when the anxiety started. “oh my goodness!” she squealed, her feet stomping on the ground excitedly. joe smiled at his girl, following her line of sight and meeting with her all time favorite football player

Aj green

“he retired? he’s here? why’s he here, joe i’m gonna freak out”

joe smiled, every time he had mentioned already meeting aj green y/n would freak out and have her tell him every detail. so when he heard aj would be at the red carpet, he just had to surprise his favorite girl.

“Aj!” joe called, y/n ran behind him, her stomach churning. “i hate you i hate you i hate you” she whispered only making joe laugh more. “hey!” aj said, walking up to them. “this is

y/n, my girlfriend” he smiled, stepping aside so y/n was in front of them. “hi…” y/n said, biting her tounge to keep herself from fan girling out.

joe introduced the two together more, and y/n was a giggling giddy mess.

paparazzi was eating them up, the cameras staying on them the whole night.

on instagram the world was freaking out. from loving their outfits, to screaming about how gentlemanly joe is, to freaking out about the way he looks at her. the world loved it.

after the party and the carpet, joe and y/n sat in their living room, scrolling through posts and comments laughing and smiling. “i love this” y/n smiled. “they love you” joe said, motioning her chin to face him. “but i love you more” he whispered, pulling her in to kiss her.

he was really the most valuable partner

[aperture8]

OC Interview with Ardreyth Mizzrym

(answer the questions for your OC as if your character were answering them!)

I have tagged myself... *evil laugh*

Long text.. because I've cut out the interview a bit...

Ardreyth takes a seat opposite the interviewer, pours herself a glass of wine and places both a dagger and her whip on the table, resting her feet on it with a certain nonchalance. Interviewer: Oh, thank you very much on behalf of Baldur's Gazette for agreeing to do this interview, Mrs. Dekarios! Suddenly, the young elven bard interrupts his words as his attention turns to the wildly gesticulating Gale, who has taken a seat in an armchair at an angle behind Ardreth.

Ardreyth: Excuse me!? How did you address me!? Interviewer: I, I, I, mean Lady.. *Ardreyth raises one eyebrown*, ahm, C'rintri? C'rinti Mizzrym?? Ardreyth *sighs*: “ Let's get started, my time and patience are not unlimited.”

Interviewer: Ahem, well, then comes here my first question:

“Really? That's your first question? I hope your next question is wittier, young man, otherwise this conversation will be a very short one"!

"Yes, I was named after a person. My name comes from the sister of Mother Matron Minaste. She killed her own sister to elevate herself to Mother Matron. It is said that she strangled her with her bare hands. To humiliate her nephew Da'viir and Callimar and to demonstrate her power, she apparently took pleasure in giving me this name."

"Tsk, … Ardreyth pulls her second dagger from the holster on her thigh and lets the blade spin on the tip of her index finger - with a lightning-fast movement, she throws the knife between the fingers of the interviewer's right hand, which is resting on the table. Her blue eyes fix on the bard - who swallows briefly, "What did I told you before about be witty? Ardreyth is still fixing the bard"..."and says with a very charming smile.."but i will be lenient".

Tears are seen as a sign of weakness in Menzoberanzzan. I don't let tears flow … but there was a moment - Ardreyth runs her thumb gently over the tattoo on her left forearm - … when someone close to me was torn from me, a loss that I could not prevent.

Gale in the background:

Ardreyth sips her wine - Silence - After a long while, she finally begins to speak. ‘It would be wise to prepare more thoroughly for an interview and learn more about the culture of the person you are interviewing. It seems they have little knowledge of Drow culture.’ With a determined look, Ardreyth pulls her legs off the table and reaches for the whip. Gale, sitting in the back, ‘Ardreyth, don't be so hard on him…’ Ardreyth turns towards him: ‘You know my aversion to foolish questions…’ Gale wants to answer, but she waves him off: ‘Yes, yes, I know, there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers…’ sigh ‘My answer to this utterly brilliant question is an unequivocal no.’

Adreyth glances over her shoulder: ‘Now I can…?’ Gale shakes his head emphatically: ‘No way.’

What's the first thing you notice about people?

Ardreyth's milky blue eyes narrow to slits as a smug smile slides across her lips. "The first… Hm, I would say… everything. Whether it's the body language that gives away whether someone wants to flee or fight, the pupils that dilate before a lie is uttered… or even, Ardreyth leans across the table to the bard when the breath catches and fear rears its head… *The bard begins to rock nervously back and forth on his chair*. Ardreyth looks deep into his eyes… and the smell… that smell of uncertainty… the sweat of uncertainty… Ardreyth leans back and crosses her legs: You, hm, you… *and gives him a charming smile… But you… you exude *Ardreyth takes a deep breath* Gale: ARDREYTH!…

Interviewer: Yes, *clears his throat* well… Let's move on to my next question. Ah, I see that you have pets. The interviewer points to Tara, who has now taken a seat next to Gale.

Ardreyth: 'Now would be a good time, wouldn't it? Gale? Tara?' Please?

Ardreyth grabs her whip, swings it and pulls the bard across the table towards her. ‘What are you doing? Are you playing on the ridiculous rumours about the Drows' love skills? Is that a foolish allusion to my past?’ The young bard begins to sweat nervously. ‘Speak! No, no… forget the question… Excuse me…’ Hesitantly, Ardreyth loosens the whip that had been coiled around his neck. ‘You're lucky… If you had asked me that question and all your other foolish questions fifty years ago, you would have been dead by now.’

Interviewer: "Okay, maybe now a harmless question:

Astarion joins the group in the meanwhile:

Adreyth:

What sort of sports do you play?

Astarion: "10 gold coins that this lovely young bard will die in the next 10 minutes." Ardreyths ignores the question...

Ardreyth:

What was your favourite academic subject?

Ardreyth looks at the young bard for a while until she breaks the silence: 'The weapons and combat training with Callimar… I owe everything I know to him. He was my master, my friend… my… Ardreyth falls silent

Ardreyth shakes her head at this question… I really don't know whether to laugh or end this quickly and painfully. Astarion: End it! Minthara, who's also here: She's been on the surface too long… Why is that darthiir wimp still alive? Ardreyth: Tour guide… I lead excursions into the shadowy depths of the Underdark. What do you think? Maybe you want to dive into the enchanting world of the Underdark with an oneway portal? *Ardreyth waggles her eyebrows*

Interviewer: Ahem. Yes... how kind of you. So, here my last question:

Scary stories or happy endings?

I think that concludes the interview, which proves to be a happy ending as you escape here alive. And for the record, this was the last time I had any dealings with you.

The bard packs up his quill, ink and parchment and walks quickly out of the room..

In case you still here... thanks for reading my crap! :D If anyone would like to do this, please consider yourself tagged! and please tag me! I would love to read your oc answers!

@leysendris :

Thanks again for reading my crap, brainstorming and being very, very witty! <3

[askagamedev]

Is there much of a difference between a digital media degree and a game design degree when it comes to applying for jobs within the gaming sector?

Or is it dependent on the role you are applying for?

There is a difference between having a degree and not having one in a relevant field, but it isn't as important as one might think. The kind of degree you hold really only matters for the initial application round, where the recruiters sift through all of the applications and decide who gets callbacks and who gets dropped. This is because, realistically, we can't call every applicant back for each open position. Large studios like Blizzard or Riot often have literal hundreds of applications for open positions, and calling everyone back would take an army of recruiters.

This means that recruiters are reliant on the presence of certain keywords in the resume/CV for that candidate to pass to the next round. "BA in Game Design" ticks a box that "BA in Digital Media" likely won't, though the kind of degree is only one of many keywords we're looking for. We're ultimately looking for candidates who can do the work that the job entails - cinematic designer, gameplay programmer, texture artist, associate producer, QA engineer, and so on. The degree is an indicator that a candidate might be able to do the job, but is not a full guarantee - that's what the additional rounds of interviewing and testing are for.

As such, I encourage job seekers to tailor their resume/CV to the role they are applying for - the descriptions of any project and work experience should show how those experiences would carry over to the job that we're hiring for. This should both maximize the chances of keyword hits as well as persuade the humans who read the resume/CV that you're a good fit for the position because you already know how to do the work and have been doing similar work in the past.

If any of you out there want specific assistance with your resume/CV, I would heavily suggest joining our discord server and asking, or reaching out to me privately via TwitterX or Bluesky. There are many experienced developers (including hiring managers) on our Discord who can provide resume/CV advice, and I've done a lot of resume/CV reviews personally as well (both as a hiring manager and for the readers of my blog). [Click here for an example of a CV review] I did for an entry-level gameplay programmer. If you don't want your stuff made public, you don't have to. I promise we'll still help you with the CV.

[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]

Got a burning question you want answered?

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on BlueSky

Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr

Frequent Questions: The FAQ

[blluespirit]

atla fics i want to write but in a future investigative journalist kinda way/vibe; some potential ideas:

The Boiling Rock idea 1: a journalist goes to the Boiling Rock Prison, now at the centre of controversy as reports come to light for the first time detailing the horrific abuse endured by prisoners during the war.

The Boiling Rock idea 2: a journalist investigates the rumours that Fire Lord Zuko and Ambassador Sokka broke in, and out of the Fire Nation's most notorious prison, expecting it not to come to fruition, and instead, uncovering one of the most insane stories of the year.

Pentapox: a journalist investigates a mysterious outbreak of the so-called "pentapox" disease that broke out towards the end of the war in the then Fire Nation-occupied city of Omashu, in which a highly documented disease resulted in the release of dozens of Earth Kingdom citizens from the city to stop the spread, despite there being no record of any similar disease then or since.

Azulon, Ursa and Ozai: a journalist decides to take the plunge and investigate the suspicious and frankly disturbing timeline of events that lead to Fire Lord Ozai taking the throne. Through a series of harrowing interviews with previous servants, political experts and even a special interview with the Fire Lord himself, they learn their suspicions of murder and violence were tame compared to the truth.

Ba Sing Se's missing women: a journalist delves into the bizarre series of disappearances of Ba Sing Se women in the final decade of the war and the state secrets that surround it (i.e., all the women the Dai Li brainwashed were people, and there's no way there wasn't some scary as fuck rumours about the Dai Li kidnapping women and then seeing them again, except they no longer have any idea who their loved ones are)

The Blue Spirit: A journalist looks into the bizarre crimes of a masked vigilante who robbed both the rich and the poor, freed the Avatar, and ended their story in the Ba Sing Se catacombs. The story leaves everyone with a lot of questions, and very few answers.

The Boy in the Iceberg: a journalist decides to delve into the truth of what happened to Avatar Aang in between the time he went missing and 100 years later. Through incredible exclusive interviews with Chief Katara and Ambassador Sokka, they learn about the events that led to Aang being discovered, and what it meant to leave their home behind to save the world.

The Freedom Fighters: A journalist and their journey tracking down one of the most well-known resistance groups in the later half of the war as they learn the fate of it's leader and the terrible cost of war on the children that were pushed into fighting.

[ginger1982]

Sooo... "symbolic" sexual tension in this scene is a canon now? 😁😏 Source

That interview is great btw 👌 (but I can't believe that New York fucking Times asked him about fanfics 🤭)

[breezeinmonochromenight]

Some questions about Death Stranding and Death Stranding 2, if you have time and don’t mind. 1: Why do you think Debra Wilson’s doctor character has two right hands, and do you think she’ll have a prominent role in the story? 2: How is Kojima not getting sued by Konami for the Solid Fake in the last DS2 trailer? 3: Where is Die Hardman and do you think he’ll be in the sequel? 4: What if anything do you think Kojima will predict this time? 😂

Why do you think Debra Wilson’s doctor character has two right hands, and do you think she’ll have a prominent role in the story?

If I had to take an educated guess, and given how Kojima’s wordplay and puns frequently makes me feel like I’m having a fucking stroke, I wouldn’t be shocked if this is just a play on the phrase “having two left feet”. If having two left feet means you’re clumsy and awkward (typically when dancing) then literally having two right hands could mean you’re very graceful and talented (at medicine/surgery). Or something.

It’s also worth remembering that Kojima is not a stranger to using a weird but relatively minor abnormality/medical condition as a massive plot point. Fortune’s dextrocardia is literally just extraneous information until it lets her survive being shot and save the main characters at the 11th hour because surprise! She was an X-man all along. Or Vamp having literal vampire powers bec — oh wait that’s because he’s bisexual nvm.

If you’re wanting a deeper/more tinfoil hat answer from me: Some hadiths in Islamic tradition depict Allah as having two right hands. Also, a number of religions (Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism, to name a few) all have some kind of thing about the right hand being more pure/used for worship/representing order and the left hand being less pure/used for impure tasks/representing chaos/demonic. The first game used ancient Egyptian beliefs like Ba/Ha and Ka — it’s not a stretch for a sequel to expand on that established lore by bringing in bits and pieces of other religious concepts into the mix.

How is Kojima not getting sued by Konami for the Solid Fake in the last DS2 trailer?

Honest Answer: He is literally river dancing on the copyright infringement/transformative works line lol. I would imagine having a real actor, who probably has some form(s) of protection for his likeness, but just so happens to be wearing a bandana and looking a lot like your fully fictional character in an acting role probably makes copyright claims a lot harder.

Even More Honest Answer: Kojima has Sony money and Sony lawyers backing him. He’s fine lol.

Where is Die Hardman and do you think he’ll be in the sequel?

Tommie Earl Jenkins has done interviews within the last ~6 or so months and has been very vague if he’s in DS2 or not. So idk. Could be keeping silent because he has to, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a reduced and/or very minor role since the plot is expanding outside of the UCA into Mexico (at the very least) and seems a lot bigger in scale. He’s literally the acting president of (what’s left of) the US at the end of the last game, I’m sure we’ll at the very least find out if he’s still active or dead or whatever.

Also not out of the question for Kojima to do something significant with a secondary/background character at a later time. George Sears is a disgraced president in MGS1 and comes back as Solidus Snake in MGS2. The real DARPA chief in MGS1 died before the start of the game, but retroactively comes back as Sigint with expanded lore in MGS3.

What if anything do you think Kojima will predict this time? 😂

I mean he basically nailed a global event that killed countless people and generally increased our tendency to isolate from others, our reliance on contactless delivery, and our reliance on digital communication in the last one. Expansion of the plot into Mexico seems to be a huge deal in the sequel, and in current events something something 51st state Canada something something Acquire Greenland. So. Mildly terrified of what he’s going to accidentally predict this time.

[ad15124]

Kaisan ba aalu ben? (Did I mix bhojpuri and gujrati? Idk :p)

bhaiiii

main kya bataun 😭

so basically i got to stage two of two of the year-long interview things, which happen to be online tests (:/), did one and idk if I did horribly or okay. it generated an applicant profile where I got full in creativity (yay!) but 0 in dependability and adaptability (major L, also ?!) toh pata nahi kya hoga

I have another one tmrw, wish me luck

in other news, mera blog toh dekha hi hai, and yk I'm knee deep in extracurriculars (trying to fill the void yk, find meaning etc) and atp it's like mein sab kuch kar rahi hoon lekin saali ek bhi cheez dhang se nahi ho rahi ://

wbu? essay answer in a paper which is based on this one question (single essay paper basically), jaldi

[a-tale-of-legends]

(okay i'm out of chore hell-) I had a semi sweet sad idea with Rai's mum.

I can see her going to the hospital right after the darkest day. Bringing some food- not for the patient, no, as far as she knows Leon's still unconscious. It's for her son, who visits the champion's hospital bed every other day - or as much as he possibly can in-between clean up and recovery and professional news interviews and everything else to do with the aftermath of that awful afternoon.

Her knuckles gently rap against the doorframe, causing her son to sit up only for him to hunch back over once he realizes who it is - no nurse to change fluids or doctor to tell him bad news or grieving family; just his mum. It makes him relax some. She sees her son hunched over - seeing his worsening slouch even more as he's without his- her jacket, it instead being laid across the champion's legs, it having been there since day one of Leon's stay. She casually asks all the usual questions; how is he, any updates? And Rai answers, but this is the first time he's sounded so dry, so tired, not even looking up as his dreads hang over, his orange headband round his neck instead. Stubborn is as stubborn does; Rai’s mum goes over to him and lifts his head up, both hands cradling his face just like she always did when he was younger - except now his face is longer like his ba’s. She can see the darkness forming under his eyes, a sight no mother wants to see on their child.

She tells him how strong he is, even with no champion title, no big cheering crowd, no functioning gym, she’s proud of how strong he’s been - not just for himself but for everyone. His family, his friends' families, his city. And she knows Leon would- is, going to be too as soon as he wakes up. There will always be bigger, stronger battles on the horizon; but she is ever confident that her son, her treasure, will rise above it all. -------------------------

Anyways, idk if you can tell i was crashing out at the end there due to space of time- uh they hug, Rai probably cries out everything he’s pent up but he’ll never confess it and his ma will promise to keep it between them. I love this family man

OUUUGGGGGHHHHHH DEEERRRRRR YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY MAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!

Raihan is strong!!!!! And she's so proud of him!!!!!! He's her little treasure and he will always be that!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just imagining Rai's dad ( Zamir, i think i'll name him that) waiting outside, maybe listening to them talk. He was always the one who was sweet and encouraging to Raihan- not that his mom wasn't, but again, she's not good with words her pay. But I think they both knew that Raihan needed to here this from her. To make sure he understood how important and special Raihan is to her. Her little treausure.

Sniffles. Wails. I love this family too,,,,,,

[iboatedhere]

thank you @inexplicablymine @lemonlyman-dotcom @cha-melodius and @kiwiana-writes (thank you to @pragmatic-optimist for helping me pick this section--like I said to her, I like this fic as a whole, but when in a 7 sentence Sunday or WIP Wednesday context I STRUGGLE)

--

The good thing about getting a late start is that Alex misses the rush hour traffic which means he gets to the office in twenty minutes instead of the usual thirty five.

The bad thing is that everyone is already hard at work at their desk when he gets there, making it impossible for him to sneak in. 

He gives it a try, though, pretending that he doesn’t notice all the heads turning his way as he casually walks to his desk, like he’s always been here and he’s just coming back from a bathroom break.

The second he sits down Zahra’s office door opens and Alex closes his eyes, bracing for what’s about to happen.

“Alex Claremont-Diaz, get your ass in here right now.”

He takes a deep breath to get himself together then pops to his feet. “Hey, Zahra,” he says brightly. “What’s up?”

She glares at him as she juts over her shoulder at her office and Alex keeps the fake smile on his face as he slips past her.

“I don’t know if you know this,” she says as she shuts the door. “But the day starts at eight thirty around here.” She rounds her desk and sits down, folding her hands together. “You come in, pick up your assignments–.”

“I picked mine up last night,” Alex interrupts. “Ten thirty at the embassy with the Prince. I think it went well.”

Zahra narrows her eyes. “You were at the embassy this morning?”

“Yeah,” he says with a laugh. “Where else would I have been? Honestly, the article is already half written.”

“Is that right?” She asks and Alex nods. “So the prince answered all your questions?”

“Yup.”

“And what did you think of him?”

Alex blows out a breath and drops down into one of the chairs opposite Zahra’s desk, crossing one leg over the other. “He was very….polite. You know, royal.” He snaps his fingers. “There was an air of royalty to him.”

“Was there?”

“Totally. Can’t imagine him being anything other than fourth in line to the crown.”

Zahra hums and picks up the newspaper on her desk, studying the front page. “And what did you think of his haircut?”

“His haircut.”

She looks at him over the top of the paper. “Yes. It’s pretty radical for a sitting member of the royal family to shave their entire head.”

“Right, yeah, totally, of course.” Alex clears his throat and drops his foot to the floor before crossing his opposite leg. “I actually asked him about that. He said it was an….homage to the royal navy who….had to shave their heads before service which you know, is fitting since the anniversary of D-Day is right around the corner.”

“He said all that?”

“Yup.”

“That’s really interesting, Alex. A-Plus reporting.”

“Thank you.”

She hums. “Yeah, you should be really proud of yourself, especially since His Royal Highness fell violently ill late last night and canceled all of his appearances today.”

She turns the paper around and Alex reads the headline– Royal, Royally Ill, and nods. 

“He canceled all of his appearances?”

“That’s right, Alex.”

“Then who the hell did I interview?”

Zahra rolls her eyes and tosses the paper at him. “Alex—.”

“I can explain,” he says as he catches the paper. “I was out late–.”

“I do not care.”

“And there was this guy—.”

“I super don’t care.”

“And I had to bring him home—.”

“Alex, truly, I’m really happy that you are comfortable in your sexuality but I don’t need to know—.”

“It wasn’t like that! He just–.” Alex cuts himself off as he sees the photo of the prince just above the fold. “This is a current photo of the prince?”

“My god, Alex, how are you this far out of the loop?”

“I’m sorry,” Alex says, “I just….” He trails off as he stares down at the photo. Even in black and white and with a constipated smile on his face, Alex knows that the man staring back at him is the same one that he left asleep in his bed. “I can make this up to you.”

Zahra sits back, crossing her arms. “I would love to hear this.”

“I can get you an exclusive interview with the prince. The Private And Secret Longings Of A Prince, he says, miming the layout of the headline in the air. “His innermost thoughts and desires. His dreams, his nightmares….what he really thinks of hot button issues. That’s way more interesting than some boring Q&A where he’d give the same pre-screened responses to everything.” 

“How exactly are you going to swing that? Are you going to sneak into the embassy and hold his hair back as he pukes into the royal toilet?”

“A good journalist never reveals their sources.”

“And what good journalist did you hear that from?”

“June.”

“Ah.”

“C’mon, Zahra,” Alex begs, “I can do this. Give me a chance. If I don’t come through, you can fire me, blacklist me, ship me off to work in Alaska or Antarctica, somewhere where it’s cold all the time and I’ll be miserable forever.”

“I like that.”

“And you’ll love my interview. Please, Zahra, let me do this.”

“Don’t beg,” she tells him, “it’s unbecoming.”

He pouts and she rolls her eyes. 

“Listen, I don’t care what you do, just get out of my office. If you don’t come back with that article, don’t bother coming back at all.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Alex says as he backs out of her office.

“I haven’t done anything yet,” she tells him, “and neither have you. Close my door on your way out.”

Alex does as he’s told then fires off a “MEET ME AT MY PLACE—EMERGENCY!!!!!!” text to June as he crosses the room. 

“Did you get fired?” Hunter, his deskmate asks and Alex flips him off without saying a word on his way out the door.

[vro0m]

vro0m's rewatch - 169/332

2016 Bahrain GP

Okayyy so Lewis is on pole again. His time is the record for the track. Then he was reprimanded for reversing in the pitlane, he had to go to the stewards about it and we thought for a moment he might lose the pole. 

But he didn't!

The quali process is still being revised after the Australian fiasco. I have no idea what it looked like there. The proposal for the next race is absurd. Apparently they want to add up the best 2 lap times for some reason, then eliminate 7 drivers per session and the Q3 would set the top 8? Ridiculous. Bernie is being an asshole about it btw. Journalists are asking him questions like "why can't we go back to last year's system?" and his answer is "well because we've changed it haven't we?"

Ted says that the aggregate system (so what I've just described) is the only proposal on the table at that point because the hybrid system that basically would be new system for Q1 + Q2 and old system for Q3 is vetoed by Horner/RedBull. 

Johnny Herbert interviews Lewis on the drivers’ truck. He says he had to work for his pole and Lewis says he always does.

He's happy with it though. Johnny asks who he's listening to and it's Travis Scott. Johnny asks if he has some of his own music on there and Lewis says loads, but refuses to give us a listen.

Johnny asks if he's concerned about the challenge the Ferraris pose. Lewis says he doesn't get concerned. They're very conscious of their pace and that they're gonna be quick. It's gonna be tricky. It's important to first get off the line well and then take it from there. 

Well let's hope they get a better start than in the first round. 

Oh but it was very close. Nico was only 0.077 seconds off Lewis. Anyway behind them it's Seb, obvi, Raikkonen, obvi, then Daniel, Valtteri, Massa, Hulkenberg, Grosjean, and Verstappen.

Oh. Alonso is not racing today. He was not cleared to run by the FIA doctor because he fractured ribs in his crash in Australia. OH AND HE ALSO HAS A COLLAPSED LUNG. How the fuck did he seem okay in the postrace?! Lol apparently Johnny suggested it might be time for him to retire and I can't believe he's still there 7 years later. Anyway Alonso is replaced by Stoffel Vandoorne. 

Uhh Lewis arrived dressed like a Bahraini today.

Anyway, there's an interview. He's asked what he needs to drive a car fast. He says he was fearless and his dad put him in a car and he bombed it around the track. "And straight away I felt at home." He says in his first 5-10 laps he picked up the braking technique that he used his whole karting career. That's the motion that gives him the know-how of when to push and when he's going too fast or too slow towards the apex. He says it fascinates him how the mind works because they're looking so far ahead, planning like 100-200 metres ahead. He says it's not tunnel vision, he feels like he's seeing 180°, he says as he spreads his arms. "I can't see my hand right now, but somehow when I'm driving, all the sudden I can see there."

(i feel like they could've edited Johnny's sweaty armpits from it but well.)

ohhh all of a sudden the moment he said "it's like targeting with a gun" in the last build up makes sense. Idk why they chose to only broadcast that part without the sentence he said before that. So he's testing the new car and he says, as he's driving : "there are things that I'm looking for. It's just like targeting… Like with a gun. You're targeting the turn points." He says last year he was struggling and was trying to figure out what was the issue and then he raised his seat 5 millimetres and it changed the whole world. What about breathing? Yes, if you get the breathing right it helps you flow through it. But that's not something he needs to focus on in the car, it comes naturally. "To be honest I don't even know if I'm breathing during the race." He says he feels he doesn't breathe during the start. We're back in the car with him. He says braking feels like having an elephant on your back or leaning against you. You kind of lose breath. Johnny says Hunt used to say if you have an over steering car you can always drive it fast, whether understeering cars are a pain. Lewis says he generally likes a car that's gonna turn. (I mean. Yeah.) Johnny brings it back to his debuts. He says he was very impressive with that when he first arrived. Lewis says now he has to bring it back a bit and find better balance whether before he didn't have to worry about the rear tyres dropping off as much. Now you can lean on your front tyres more but the rear are very delicate. He says he thinks the problem with racing now is that you've got all these driver coaches, mind coaches, "which is all a bunch of [beeped]". He says it's because of insecure people who think they need those things. "Some people need that, weirdly," Johnny says. "They don't," Lewis says. "You don't think so?" – "Nooo, you just get lost, you don't need it." (Honestly not agreeing with this conversation at all.) Anyway he says you just gotta trust yourself. He says people start listening to a bunch of noise around which is not the important stuff. The important stuff is the more detailed things.

Ohhh you know what. I thought I saw her in the last race, her familiar blond ponytail next to Lewis' car. But she had her back turned so I wasn't sure and I ended up scrapping it from my review. But this time I can see her clear as day. It's Angela!

I did not think about when we'd be meeting her, for some reason. I'm so happy to see her though! 

Okay. It's time for the race. Formation lap. Nico struggled to get away. Ohhhh no. Seb was going slowly. Over the radio he says he might have an engine failure. And right after we hear it, there's a cloud of white smoke following him. It's already over for him. 

And here we go! The others are racing!

And Nico gets a better start, he takes the lead. OH NO CONTACT INTO TURN ONE, VALTTERI AND LEWIS CAME TOGETHER. There's damage. Oh it's a catastrophic start. Fuck. So it's Nico, Massa, Valtteri, Ricciardo, Raikkonen, Grosjean, Gutierrez, Hulkenberg, Lewis is P9!, and Sainz. No, he's still losing places, I think. "Something feels wrong with the rear," he says. Oh here he comes! Gaining again! He's sending sparkles everywhere as he goes though. Valtteri says things feel fine for him. At the end of lap 1 Lewis is P7. OH MORE CONTACT ! Sainz and Perez. Sainz has a puncture. The Saubers are racing each other, pushing one off track. On lap 5 Lewis is up to P6. Meanwhile Raikkonen overtakes Ricciardo for P4. Lewis is on him as well. The car seems drivable enough. And Ricciardo pits. Lewis is P5 as Raikkonen overtakes Valtteri for P3. Again Lewis is right there as well. Closing. Ohhh Jenson is stopping. Away from the track so no interruption. And Massa pits, so Raikkonen in P2 while Lewis overtakes Valtteri for P3! Gorgeous classic move! They were side by side into the corner but Lewis had the inside line and ended up in front. But Nico is 13 seconds in the lead. Valtteri pits. It's weird. Everyone is pitting at different times. Valtteri gets a drive through penalty for the start.

And it's lap 10. Nico, Raikkonen (+13.4), Lewis (+15.8), Grosjean, Verstappen, Vandoorne, Kvyat, Wehrlein, Nasr, Ericsson. Verstappen and Hulkenberg almost collide as the first one rejoins after his pitstop. There's loads of carbon fibre on track flying everywhere and hitting tyres. And a lot of overtaking in the midfield as well. Right now Vandoorne and Perez are battling through several corners, and Vandoorne wins. Raikkonen pits. He exits behind Ricciardo and Massa as the first overtakes the other and immediately goes for it as well! It's close racing! But he's ahead. He's now hunting Ricciardo. Mercedes mechanics readying themselves. Rosberg pits. It's quick. And Lewis pits as well, wow! 2.4 stop! Great job! I can't immediately say what the order is but Lewis is P6. Raikkonen overtook both Ricciardo and Kvyat! Damn. There's a lot happening in this race! Lewis has a lot of places to make up for now. Perez, Valtteri and Hulkenberg are battling for P10! And Ricciardo overtakes Kvyat while simultaneously, right behind them, Lewis overtakes Massa! Everything is happening so fast that the standings screen can't keep up, Crofty says. Raikkonen is setting fastest lap after fastest lap. And Massa attacks Kvyat. Ooo that was close but it stays clean. Lewis is closing on Ricciardo. And that's P3! Grosjean and Massa are battling over P5. And now Verstappen is closing on Massa. 

Lap 20! Nico, Raikkonen (+12.1), Lewis(+20.8), Ricciardo, Grosjean, Verstappen, Massa, Vandoorne, Bottas, Ericsson. It's gonna be difficult changing the order of that top 3 but we're not even halfway through. Lewis is matching Raikkonen's lap times even though he's on mediums and Raikkonen is on softs so… Grosjean overtakes Ricciardo for P4. Then Ricciardo pits and he's P11. Soon after he's back up in P8. Verstappen pits from P5, out in P10. Grosjean pits from P4, out in P8 while Ricciardo overtakes Kvyat, or rather Kvyat lets Ricciardo past for P5. Lewis pits from P3. He's still P3. Daniel is now P4 while Raikkonen pits from P2 and is still P2 and Verstappen is already up in P8. 

It's lap 30. Nico pits. 5.3 stop, not great, but he's so far ahead anyway, it doesn't matter. Lewis sets the fastest lap. Sainz DNFs, back in the garage. I'm trying to give you an overview but they're not showing the timings. Grosjean is closing on Kvyat for P5. Okay here we go so Nico is now 8.8 ahead of Raikkonen who's 3.5 ahead of Lewis. Then about 25 seconds down it's Daniel and Kvyat, followed by Grosjean, Verstappen, Bottas, Vandoorne (who's doing a good job btw) and Massa. Grosjean overtakes Kvyat now. Oooh. Big lock up for Kvyat a few minutes later that allows Verstappen to overtake him as well. Big battle for P8 between Bottas, Vandoorne and Massa. But Bottas pits as well as Kvyat. Rosberg is lapping people, while Lewis' last lap is 0.5 slower than him. 20 laps to go. Raikkonen pits, which puts him behind Lewis but Lewis will have to stop again. Then Nico pits and all the commentators think it's Lewis so they briefly marvel when he comes out ahead of Raikkonen before they realise. 

It puts us on lap 40. Lewis is currently leading then, because he has to pit. Nico is 8 seconds behind him and Raikkonen 4 seconds further down. He'll definitely be out behind him. Then it's still Daniel, Grosjean, Verstappen, Massa, Kvyat, Vandoorne and Bottas. Grosjean pits again. 8.1, terrible stop. Lewis pits. 2.5. Nico sets the fastest lap while he exits the pitlane. He's far behind. They're all on the same tyre. As it seems clear Nico is gonna win this one, Crofty says only 7 other drivers have won 5 times in a row so far and all of them have won the title the season they did. Grosjean overtakes Massa for P6. Ricciardo is closing on Verstappen for P4. There's 10 laps to go. Max pits. He's out in P7, right in front of Bottas. At the front everything is boring btw. Nothing happening. Right as I wrote that Raikkonen's engineer tells him to not give up something might still go down. Bottas and Kvyat are battling for P8 and Kvyat wins. 5 laps to go. I'm bored. Verstappen overtakes Massa for P6. (Lewis is 20 seconds behind Nico btw). 

It's the end of the race. 

Nico wins ahead of Raikkonen and Lewis. They shake hands as they salute their team. It puts Nico 17 points ahead of Lewis in the standings. 

Nico says the key was his good start. Lewis says it's painful but damage limitation was OK and he got some points. He says the damage on the car meant he couldn't do more than that. He's asked like three or four questions when Nico got the one lol. He thanks everybody for the welcome there in Bahrain. 

Unfortunately the post race analysis is not available on my usual website anymore. Onto round 3 then.