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linktwinmaniac · 3 days

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Is the moderate pro-life view really incoherent?

I write this open email to Matthew Scarfone as a response to his article If you’re pro-life, you might already be pro-choice.

Dear Prof. Scarfone,

I’m T́ristanaz Ĺaihnazrijaz, a maths student at the Distance University in Hagen with a great interest in philosophy, which stems in part from my delving into the groundwork of mathematics. I came upon your aforementioned article on The Conversation and found it to provide food for thought. Specifically, I believe to have found a flaw in your argument against the moderate pro-life position. First off, I’m a moderate but vehement pro-lifer myself, who acknowledges the fact that unborn human beings are obviously human beings and that therefore, aborting them for no very good reason is murder. I think such very good reasons exhaust themselves in the following list: rape, threat to the mother’s life, and danger to the mother’s health or that of the fetus (e.g. genetic defects of the latter). I am instinctively taken aback both by the extreme pro-life position and the extreme pro-choice view. Therefore, your article provided my instinct’s deeming with a noteworthy challenge.

You wrote that moderate pro-lifers base their view on three assumptions: 1. that a human fetus is (quite obviously by definition) a human and therefore has a right to the continuation of their life, 2. that this right trump (subjunctive) the mother’s right to bodily autonomy, 3. except in the case of rape. You rightly pointed out that points (2.) and (3.) contradict each other. Thence, you concluded that the moderate pro-life view be incoherent. But here lies your mistake; for moderate pro-lifers like myself don’t claim either (2.) or (3.). We do, of course, accept (1.) and draw attention to the fact that if someone refuses to acknowledge the humanity of an unborn baby because such acknowledgement would bear uncomfortable consequences for them, they are no different from an Ancient Roman who refuses to recognize the humanness of slaves out of fear that such recognition would make the Roman economy collapse.

The right to continuation of one’s physical life and the right to bodily autonomy are both ground rights (unlike the right to property, for example, which is more of a privilege, I believe) and therefore cannot be trumped by each other or anything else. Fundamental rights are untrumpable. Therefore, weighing them against each other, as is done in (2.), is a forbidden move, to borrow Chess parlance. Mr. Spock is wrong to claim that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. In truth, each one’s ground rights are not outweighed by anything. For instance, nobody has the right to do experiments on you without your consent even if they’d reap huge benefits for the whole rest of humankind.

Consider the following hypothetical: A ruthless doctor abducts Bob and does experiments on him because Bob’s body has some unusual features that make him a perfect guinea pig. As a result of an experiment gone wrong, Bob loses both his kidneys. The doctor wants to not lose his experimentation subject, so he abducts Alice and transplants one of her kidneys into Bob’s body without her consent. But a dogged sleuth by the family name “Di” unmasks the villain. The police free Alice and Bob from the doctor’s grasp and put the culprit in jail. Alice now wants her kidney back. But Bob would die without her kidney. So, does she still have the right to get her kidney back?

Of course she does.

So does her right to bodily autonomy outweigh Bob’s right to continuation of his bodily life?

No.

Then why does Alice have the right to retrieve her kidney?

Because it was taken from her without her consent, thereby violating her utter right to bodily autonomy.

But that would take Bob’s life.

True, but is that Alice’s fault?

No.

Then why should she have to accept a violation to one of her ground rights because of someone else’s (the doctor’s) crime?

Right, she shouldn’t.

Exactly; nothing excuses violating a fundamental right, not even guarding another ground right. In particular, this applies to abortion. The rape victim is like Alice, the unborn baby like Bob, and the rapist like the doctor. If Alice gets her kidney back and Bob dies as a result, is it murder?

Yes.

And who’s the murderer?

Clearly the one responsible for Bob’s plight: the doctor.

And so it is in the case of aborting a rape fetus: It does constitute murder, and the murderer isn’t Alice, but rather the rapist. The fetus has no right to be carried to term by the raped woman for a similar reason that tests on non-human animals which endanger the latter’s life or health are probably wrong: Non-human animals’ right to life and health clearly doesn’t outweigh humans’, but it’s morally forbidden to violate their fundamental rights to save the humans’. Simply put: If a human has cancer, that’s their problem with their egoistic cells. What’s the poor mice’s fault?

None. But a case could be made that the mouse soul freely chose to incarnate in a mouse body, knowing that the latter would support only cognition not sophisticated enough to think much about right or wrong. Therefore, it have (subjunctive) forfeited the absoluteness of its right to life and health. So it be morally allowed to sacrifice the mouse’s life or health for good reasons, e.g. to save people who can think about right and wrong and have chosen to fight for the former.

Yeah, maybe, but animals as highly feelingful and thoughtful as coleoid cephalopods, primates, and corvids remain off-limits. For the same reason, burking is wrong. Of course, if any animal endangers an innocent human, it’s right to kill the animal to shield the human, because here, the animal tries to infringe on the humans’ right. The same is true of humans endangering innocent humans: You have the right to kill someone who tries to kill or seriously hurt you for no good reason. Anyway, just like it’s wrong to sacrifice one human’s life for the sake of humanity if that human refuses, so it’s wrong to sacrifice a raped woman’s right to bodily autonomy for the baby’s sake.

That explains why a woman has the right to kill her unborn rape baby. But why may she abort if her life or health is in danger?

For a very similar reason: Her absolute right to life and health must not be sacrificed against her will for anything else, including saving the life of her fetus.

Alright. But why may she abort a not yet too old (!) fetus if the latter suffers from genetic defects?

Because she isn’t forced to commit the baby to a life of misery. For the same reason, family members who have a good relationship with a patient on life support who can no longer clearly think can decide whether to continue life support or not.

That’s all nice and well, but it doesn’t explain why a mother does not have a right to kill her unborn baby under all circumstances. So, why doesn’t she?

Because by willingly having sex, she freely gives up part of her right to bodily autonomy to any potential babies resulting from the sex. You see, nobody can take your ground rights away … nobody but you, that is. You can relinquish your fundamental rights, and you can also forfeit them. A kidney giver freely relinquishes their utter right in one of their kidneys. And a serial killer forfeits their right to continuation of their life. Alice can rightfully demand her kidney back from Bob because it was robbed from her. However, if she freely gives her kidney to Bob, she obviously has no right to later change her mind and demand it back. A woman who’s gotten pregnant from consensual sex or through another action she took part in out of her own freewill is exactly like a kidney donor, and her unborn baby is exactly like the kidney recipient.

As we’ve seen, it is sometimes, but only sometimes, okay to let an unborn human being die, but the same is true of born and even grownup humans. In accordance with human self-worth, we haven’t treated unborn humans differently from born ones. Yes, a raped woman has the right to let her unborn baby die, but you likewise have the right to refuse to donate blood even if someone would die without receiving some of your blood. However, if the woman has had the chance to abort her rape baby for a long enough while but hasn’t made use of it, this also constitutes a relinquishment of her right to bodily autonomy of her own accord. For instance, if she had the chance to abort from the day of her rape up until, say, eight months later, but hasn’t, she has no right to change her mind that late and kill and eight-months-old unborn baby. Why? Because by freely choosing to not abort for eight (the number is just an example) months, which is more than enough time to make one’s mind up, she has given her right to bodily autonomy up as far as carrying the baby to term goes. By the way, it’s crystal clear that an e.g. eight-month-old unborn baby is a human being, who can feel stuff and move like a born baby; after all, some babies are born younger. Are these no humans, either? Or does sliding through a woman’s vagina magically turn a non-person into a person? On a funny note … if so, does a man’s tarse that had been in a woman’s sheath become a person once he pulls it out 😉?

I believe to have thus laid bare the straw man argument in your article. Another important thing I have done is to point out a third rightful reason for abortion: genetic defects of the fetus. On the other hand, you may find one of the exceptions you mentioned conspicuously absent from my account: incest. Why is that? Because incest alone does not provide any grounds on which to kill a human being. The unborn baby has resulted from the sexual intercourse of, say, sister and brother. So what? As long the sex was consensual and the baby doesn’t suffer genetic illnesses due to the incest, there’s no reason to slay it.

Indeed, I strongly support the right of siblings to have romantic and sexual relationships with each other and have children together.

But doesn’t that lead to genetic defects?

Firstly, inbreeding does not create harmful alleles, but only raises the likelihood that recessive alleles, both good ones and bad ones, be expressed. It thereby raises the risk for the children to have harmful recessive traits, but also the opportunity for them to have helpful recessive traits. Yet even the former effect has its good side, though, as it cleanses the population of harmful recessive alleles through genetic purging: It exposes them to natural selection. Species like the fish Pelvicachromis taeniatus bear witness to the useful sides of sibcest (sibling incest).

But humans aren’t fish.

As a matter of fact, we are; J we evolved from fish and therefore are fish. Indeed, we’re rooted deeply in the fish family tree, deeper than sharks and rays, in fact. On a funny note: You can point out that mammals are fish whenever some smart aleck claims that whales aren’t fish, but mammals 😉.

Secondly, in today’s world, sibling couples can let their unborn embryos undergo genetic screening and abort the sick ones among them. Or rather, they could, were it not for the incest taboo or even incest prohibition, which prevents them from accessing said treatment lest they be shunned by society or thrown into jail. So it’s ironically not incest, but the incest taboo and prohibition, which are responsible for genetically ill children being born of incestuous unions.

Thirdly, the eugenic argument against incest is as unacceptable as any other eugenic argument. By its logic, the state should forbid any couple who have a higher risk of begetting ill children from having them.

Fourthly, the incest taboo and prohibition apply even to non-begetting sex on the one hand while on the other hand – please correct me if I be wrong – not forbidding a sister from conceiving from her brother through artificial insemination. Absolutely nobody is harmed in the least if a brother has a vasectomy before having sex with his sister, for example.

Anyway, incest poses no public health risk and no health risk to people who have nothing to do with the incestuous couple, as it causes no infectious diseases. By contrast, promiscuity and certain disgusting sexually motivated acts (be they opposite-sex or same-sex) do spread dangerous pathogens throughout society, such as HIV. Thereby, they also affect people not involved in any way in the sex, for example patients who receive blood from donors infected with HIV due to the latter’s promiscuous habits. So there is a case to be made for outlawing promiscuity and literally dirty pseudo-sex, since it endangers the health of third parties and society as a whole.

I believe to have thus thoroughly debunked the eugenic argument against sibcest.

As for other arguments against it, I can’t find any sound ones. If a brother rapes his sister? Well, that’s rape, and this is why it’s wrong. A woman raped by her brother is no more a victim of incest than a boy raped by a man is a victim of homosexuality or, indeed, a woman raped by a man is a victim of heterosexuality.

Sister and brother who make love with each other in complete consent and let their embryos undergo genetic screening harm no-one and are therefore fully innocent. Therefore, sibling incest in and of itself is neither wrong nor immoral nor unethical nor anything of the sort. I’m appalled and shocked by the fact that many supposedly enlightened jurisdictions, including Canada, most of the U.S., and much of Europe, still prohibit sibcest, in some case with extreme punishments worse than ones meant for serious crimes. And that in the Twenty-First Yearhundred!

I’m strongly against sibcestophobia and homophobia, but what truly disgusts me is the incoherence and hypocrisy inherent in the view that same-sex sex be okay whereas sibling sex be not. What disgusts me even more is the perversion (in the literal sense of “wrong-way-round-ness”) of the opinion that incest or homosexual intercourse be wrong whereas adultery should not be forbidden. Why? Because incest and same-sex sex in themselves are victimless whereas adultery has a victim: the cheated spouse. Adultery is a type of breaking one’s promise and ought therefore to be forbidden and punished. And it’s a dangerous type of breaking one’s promise at that, as the adulterer can infect their spouse with HIV and other nasty buggers. The cheater endangers their spouse’s health and life without the latter’s knowledge and accordingly ought to be punished severely. By contrast, little is wrong with an open marriage, for there, the spouses haven’t promised each other to have no romantic or sexual relations with others and accept the associated risks. Only if there be an infectious danger to public health should open relationships be outlawed. By “marriage”, I mean the state of two or more people being in a romantic and sexual relationship with each other which they mean to last. I don’t mean the IMHO hocus-pocus involving priests or registrars. Spouses don’t get married; they marry one another. Something akin to adultery in wrongness is plagiarism (not to be confused with refusing to bow to copyright or patent), which is the fraudulent misattribution of others’ intellectual achievements to oneself and thereby a form of lying. Why akin? Because both are instances of dishonesty, and dishonesty is one of the worst things, as already Immanuel Kant realized.

Speaking of marriage … just as sibling marriage is victimless and not immoral in any way, so are same-sex marriage and marriage between more than two people. Hence, one shouldn’t discriminate against marriages based on relatedness, gender, or number.

Coming back to our topic: It seems that our gut feeling has been right after all in telling us that killing an unborn human for no good reason is murder, but that forcing a woman to carry a rape child to term is an equally egregious rights violation. Well, at least my gut feeling has always told me that, and I venture to say my gut is quite healthy 😉. You have shown that some people’s rational justification for their right instinctive judgment is wrong, though.

So … am I right that you have made a straw man argument against the moderate pro-life view? Have I shown that the moderate pro-life position is coherent and, indeed, right after all?

Sincerely yours,

T́ristanaz Ĺaihnazrijaz, ðe Liŋk Twin Maniac (L™)

P.S.: I’m surprised it’s the left which usually advocates abortion rights and the right which speaks for baby rights. Why? Because normally, it’s the left-winger who speaks for equality and the rights of everyone whereas the right-winger is more prone to supremacism and, at the extremist fringe, to endorsing dehumanization. The left acknowledges that race, ethnicity, gender, culture, religion, sexual orientation, wealth and so on are no valid grounds on which to discriminate against people. So why age (bornness vs. unbornness)?

I vehemently defend living being rights. I acknowledge that all living beings, from bacteria and archaea through plants and non-human animals to humans, transhumans, superhuman AGIs, and superhuman aliens, have inviolable dignity which can be damaged or forfeited only by their own freewilled choices. I admit that by choosing a primitive body not able to support the intelligence needed for ethics, lower life forms have probably forfeited some of their ground rights. I’ve always, since long before I went to school, spoken for the rights of animals and even plants (I always opposed cutting trees down). I’m aware that damaging anything good or beautiful, even if it’s not alive, e.g. a fair jewel, for no good reason is wrong. I realize that bullfighting, butchering whales for fun, pure sports hunting, and all other forms of blood sport are among the most perverse activities imaginable. I’m appalled by such monstrous crimes as eating live octopuses, who are highly feelingful and smart beings, and cutting fins off living sharks. I’m aware of the realness of manmade global warming and know that fighting it is one of the weightiest things we have to do. I’m an enthusiastic pro-vaxxer but grudgingly admit that everyone has the right to refuse to get vaccinated based on their right to bodily autonomy. In fact, I believe the whole population ought to be regularly vaccinated against the deadliest non-prionic infectious disease I’m aware of: rabies. I’m for women’s rights, children’s rights (born and unborn alike), sibcest rights, polygamy rights, and LGBTIAQ+ rights. I’m against acephobia, sibcestophobia, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism. I’m spellbound by Darwinian evolution (evolution by random variation and natural selection) and reject creationism and theistic evolution. I’m aware of the soul and reject physicalism. I believe that humankind is by far the most advanced species currently on Earth, but only by chance, and that species far more sophisticated are possible. I’ve shown that copyright, patent, and other kinds of CoPaKIP (copyright-or-patent-kind intellectual property) violate the rights to freedom of speech, freedom of science and art, and free unfolding of one’s personality and that they’re based on ethical and metaphysical errors. A whole chapter of my mythical saga True Twin Telepaths Go Trick-or-Treating outlines some of my arguments, and I have an upcoming book about the matter going into far more detail. I believe in the universal right to free healthcare and free education (including higher). I’m currently mostly sympathetic to moderate socialism and critical of rampant capitalism, though I recognize the worth of competition and that capitalism has its good sides, such as Elon Musk’s space program. (As for CoPaKIP, it violates both capitalist and socialist principles, as I show in the aforesaid myth.) I’m against imperialism, oppression, and supremacism and for freedom, multiculturalism, and openness. I’m against drugs of almost all sorts (coffee is the only exception I’m thinking of right now), including nicotine and alcohol, though I’m more strongly against marihuana and far more strongly against the harder drugs. I’m also against gambling. I’m strongly against sending the seeds of life (directed panspermia) to objects (e.g. planets and star-forming clouds) that can or will be able to bring forth life of their own, as that would prevent new, original life from arising by itself. Seeding an uninhabited but habitable world or a nebula that’s likely to become one is like putting a foreign embryo into a woman’s womb before she has a chance to beget her own. One of the things most important to me is saving species, including alligator gars, coelacanths, and Venus flytraps, from extinction, protecting the environment, and renaturation.

And last and perhaps greatest … I agree with Stephen Hawking that we must NOT send signals willy-nilly into space without knowing what creeps and crawls around out there. 😰

So I find myself in the rather awkward position of being broadly allied on the issue of abortion with those most of whose other views I oppose. In fact, I don’t get the logic behind the definitions of leftwing and rightwing. As said, I’d classify pro-life as leftist and pro-choice as rightist. Likewise, the right rightfully leans away from living on debt. Then why does it embrace making the worst debt of all: over-exploiting the planet? Often, I just memorize which positions are ascribed to which of the two wings. But it matters little, for as they look in part like jumbled assortments of views to me, I don’t count myself among either.

P.P.S.: Please address me with the vocative (calling case), “Tristan” or “Mr. Laihnazrii”, rather than the nominative (who-case), “Tristanaz” or “Mr. Laihnazrijaz”. Please say or write e.g. “Tristanaz is moderately pro-life” (nominative), “Tristan, how are you?” (vocative), “She heard Tristanan” (accusative, whon-case), “Can I help Tristanai?” (dative, whom-case), “Tristanis/Tristanas arguments are sound” (genitive/possessive, whose-case), and “You can hone your philosophizing skills with Tristanoo” (instrumental, tool case, with-whom-case).

#pro life #pro choice #abortion #human rights #reproductive rights #reproductive freedom #reproductive justice #reproductive health #women's rights #fetus rights #baby rights #ground rights #fundamental rights #animal testing #dignity #incest rights #sibcest rights #sibling marriage #sibcestophobia

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uncloseted · 10 months

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what do you think about gender reveal parties. I don't think they're problematic or maybe they are but there's a way to make them not problematic. yes those "football player or ballerina" cakes or those things that cause fires are stupid but announcing whether you're having a male child or a female child should not be problematic??? even the most woke people end up raising their babies as boys or girls. i don't think having a party should change anything

I think you're right that there's probably a way to make them not problematic. And I think their original intention, to celebrate that the inventor's pregnancy had developed to the point that the sex of the fetus could be determined after several miscarriages, is genuinely really beautiful. And I don't think there's anything wrong with revealing the assumed sex of the baby at a baby shower or a similar event.

That said, I don't think it's as simple as you're making it. I don't think it's a coincidence that gender reveal parties have become popular in a time where there's growing anxieties about changing gender roles, increasing changes to gender equality (both positively and negatively) and the meaning of gender itself. Gender reveal parties frequently seek to reestablish rigid gender roles through the way they represent each gender. As you say, gender reveal parties usually have some form of gender essentialism present in them. It's almost always "blue for a boy, pink for a girl" or "football player for a boy or ballerina for a girl" or "guns for a boy or glitter for a girl", "pistol for a boy or pearls for a girl", "wheels for a boy or heels for a girl", etc. It's not usually something more neutral like, "Superman or Wonder Woman" or like, "Bluey or Peppa Pig", where there's not very much gendered baggage present.

I'm not saying it never happens, but I am saying that I think the people who are drawn to gender reveal parties are usually drawn to them because gender essentialism is important to them in some way. And it's also creating an entire event that's centered around the idea that gender is the most important thing about this baby's identity. People never seem to have "name reveal parties" or "eye color reveal parties" or whatever, you know? They're gender reveal parties because that's the most important thing to the parents. It's what they're imagining when they think about who this kid will be and how they'll move in the world.

And you might say that it's not that deep. A lot of people do say that. Like you said, "even the most woke people end up raising their babies as boys or girls" (which is not strictly true, but I get your point). "Having a party [shouldn't] change anything". And you're right. It shouldn't. But it does. Babies are subject to a ton of gendered stereotypes pretty much from the time that they're born. One study found that parents of newborns rated daughters as more soft, fine-featured, awkward, and weak, but sons as more firm, big, well-coordinated and strong—despite no objective differences between the sexes in weight, length, or Apgar scores. Another found that “boy” babies were seen as stronger and more of a problem, whereas “girls” were perceived to be more sensitive, and a third study found that mothers had more optimistic expectations of the motoric abilities of boys than girls—in the absence of any actual differences. And this persists throughout childhood. Girls begin to internalize the idea that the most important thing they can be is good-looking, while boys internalize that "being tough" is the most important thing for them. Other studies found that by age 6, girls were already significantly less likely than boys to say that members of their own gender were "really, really smart," and that young girls often receive the message that the fields of science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM) are not “for them” or that they're naturally worse at those subjects than boys.

To some degree, this stereotyping is probably inevitable. Regardless of how you raise your kid and what the school you send them to is like, eventually they'll encounter someone who subjects them to rigid gender roles that impact their perception of their own identity. But parents can control how much those gender roles impact their kid's perception of their own identity, and to a degree, they can control how much other people project those gender roles onto their kid. By throwing a very gender essentialist gender reveal party, it's indicating to friends and family that it is not only okay to stereotype the kid based on gender, but encouraged to do so. Having a party changes the precedent that's being set about what is and isn't appropriate behavior towards this baby. It's encouraging people to buy the baby "girl toys" or "boy toys", to buy them clothes in pink or blue, to view the baby in a gendered way instead of just as a baby.

And that's ignoring the fact that gender reveal parties are creating a whole event from the results of a prenatal sex discernment test. Depending on the method the doctor is using, those provide an inaccurate result between 1% to 5% of the time. And between 0.02% and 0.05% of babies are born visibly intersex. Depending on the definition used, up to 1.7% of people can be considered intersex. It's not always so simple as "it's a boy" and "it's a girl", but gender reveal parties kind of ignore that possibility and set an expectation for what this baby *should* be like. And it's not really considering who this baby will be when they're born and as they grow up. For queer or trans kids, they're gendered differently than their cishet peers from a very young age. And a lot of kids are just gender non-conforming in some way- "tomboys" and "sissies" have long been gendered expressions that we just kind for cis kids.

I guess again what I'm getting at is that a gender reveal party sets an expectation for who this kid will be, and I think that creates the potential for a lot of pressure on the kid and a lot of disappointment for the parents. And I think that in any other context, we would feel like that's weird. If a parent threw their unborn baby a party being like, "this kid is going to be an opera singer!", we would think that's weird, because who knows who the kid will be? Maybe they'll want to play rugby instead. But we've just kind of accepted it when it comes to gender reveal parties. And that's not to even talk about the gender reveal parties where it's super clear that the parents are visibly disappointed with (or even angry about) the result of the reveal.

At the end of the day, do I think gender reveal parties are the singular thing holding us back from gender equality? No. Getting rid of gender reveal parties probably isn't even in the top hundred priorities for things we would need to do in order to make the world a more equitable place when it comes to gender. And I don't think the type of people who throw these kinds of parties really care that much about preventing their children from being exposed to stereotypes anyway- they're usually the people perpetuating them. But I do think they're (usually) problematic, and they're certainly not helping us achieve gender equality, either.

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lynximpact · 6 months

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i dont know why but i cant accept the pig in hannibal carrying a human fetus. like i shouldnt be drawing the line there when hannibal can smell crimes and will has super autism but it's the pig baby that made me go "nuh uh thats dumb"

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brandonwayneb · 1 year

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preexisting agents, only interested in "power gains" between "soul fault crime" "ascension dime"

preexisting agents,

only interested in gaining new kinks

from genocide farmers markets

converted to Baby Fetus

converted to Male Play Ace Send Ta

converted to Male placenta

converted to Blame "Con Vin Shun"

converted to "male V line"

converted to blame anyone, except for the preexisting man slaughters who are willingly laughing while collecting the next genetic material

america soil, deathborg

america soil, cyborg

america soil,

purposely waiting to call targets child molesters, and they are purposely scheduled into sub atomic war fare, and excused to assassination or genocide mutilate their god given talents

Spiritual worshipers,

stolen by agents who otherwise become shunned and rejected

Spiritual worshippers,

paying the price, for america science

global death lawsuit

war claims.

keep Beez and Batz

and say "Bio Lizzy"

and say "Bio Cassy"

and now say, watch how many people who are trying to excuse themselves into touching and trafficking brandon's spiritual genetics and practices,

into nothing but Drugs, Ice, and disney channel rat molestation,

as they pass rainbow party parrot farm comments,

and look excited to "day bridge"

child molester comments into

"molecule, sex dungeon"

Science Dragon

Science Deer

Science Bull

Science Snake

Science Gay Boy

Science Indian Blood

Science Science Science Science Science

just listen to the number of agents all to make excuses into human trafficking and genetic mutilation in science labs.

america's mass murders covered up in agents who pretend to be catching child molesters,

but instead hide their own seats, and baby chairs,

as they joke about throwing vanilla and vanity affairs off wheel chair bridges, and broking skins and spines

Sex Twine

Mental Damage

Cell Mockery

All Agents to Purposely call victims

Jennifer, Hefty Star, Jeffery Star,

and Cassandra Sun Dragon

as america wars erects themselves in Brandon's open kindness

profit "margarine, butterfly"

profit "death bed panda cake"

profit "apple gate"

profit "gateway gatoraid"

profit "pizza water gate"

america's obsession with thousands of victims, and included the ones currency taking place agaisnt Brandon as we speak,

Lab science,

Mouth Watering Details

"Dillards" war sim crimes

"Basket Row Bins" war sim crimes

death ribbon

death Sir Can Eye Ticket Gate

death syrup

death certificate

Bat eyes

america.

Keep america's death threats

as agents purposely have to change their language, in recycled food comments, and germans who studied spanish pig latin

#allah #god #war #news #public

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scarlett-autumn · 1 year

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Baby Daddy Drama Saga part 14:

When a potential partner cares enough about you, they will try really hard not to mess it up in anyway possible. Not find ways to place you in embarrassing situations, not slip you abortion pills in your sleep, not sleep with others while having other people relay messages to you on his behalf which violates his Criminal Protective Order, not using you as a sacrifice in a satanic ritual, not having a child with you so that everything shitty that would happen to him really happens to your child, not sabotaging your love life (intimidating others into not dating you, blocking dating app matches and messages, not allowing you to take care of yourself physically, and not allowing you to actually earn a living). I really wish that someone who actually cared entered my life instead of people that are only interested in using me. Someone that doesn't litter. Someone that doesn't tell me that they can't handle my depression that they aided in inciting. Someone that actually cares about WHY I'm having a depression bout in the first place instead of accusing me of cheating. Someone that doesn't drug you in your sleep and incite extreme crippling anxiety so you can't move, then attempt to make you feel terrible because your body doesn't look ideal to them. You helped it look this way..........now you're trying to make me feel like shit because of it. I get called petty because I tried to get him help with his drug problem through his parole officer who seemed really nice 👍 I get called a whore because I wear women's bicycle shorts. I get accused of cheating when I leave for a jog so I don't say something I will regret later ME, I tend to say to hurtful things to people that have annoyed me. It's me being tired of failed courtships, letting completely go and still failing.

It's him pretending to care about my son when all he wants to do is keep tabs on him so he doesn't bother him later. It's him being part of a Mafia like organization and pigeon holding me into only working for companies that he helps control so he can ALWAYS keep tabs on me. It's me finding out my body was genetically altered (yes) when I was a fetus onward because people are jealous of my natural genetics. It's my son's father acknowledging this and shoving that down my throat further perpetuating that the more favorable altered DNA is better. It's him having someone at Google alter GPS results so he can have an excuse to be abusive.

It's me conveniently having panic attacks at certain times so I can wind up meeting distant family members of his that do nothing but either fake smile or scowl at me. It's me hearing a judge for a civil restraining order case tell me while in court that it was of her understanding that I didn't feel wanted during the relationship and that tends to happen to people who are experiencing infidelity. It's him having other people steal my belongings left in his apartment. It's him being presented the opportunity to present whatever is being blocked from me and him not doing it. It's him claiming conflict of interest as to why. It's him saying I don't care all of the time during our relationship and then disappearing in the middle of the night but claiming he never once cheated. It's him getting upset when I spoke to my guinea pig and asked if he (my guinea pig) loves me and him (CF) saying yes and obviously not meaning it. It's him stalling me finishing my boot camp so he can remain in control. Whatever I would make is less than what he has money wise anyways, why do you care?

#vent post #vent #baby daddy #baby daddy drama #baby daddy drama saga

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obeymebutnotlikethat · 2 years

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Everytime abortion rights are discussed I can't stop thinking about 2012. In 2012 there was a bill that many named "Women are livestock" where a politician argued that cows carry dead calves until birth and therefore women should too.

Commonly referred to as the “fetal pain bill” by Georgian Republicans and as the “women as livestock bill” by everyone else, HB 954 garnered national attention this month when state Rep. Terry England (R-Auburn) compared pregnant women carrying stillborn fetuses to the cows and pigs on his farm. According to Rep. England and his warped thought process, if farmers have to “deliver calves, dead or alive,” then a woman carrying a dead fetus, or one not expected to survive, should have to carry it to term.

But then I think about Tennessee where they had a bill that would give your r*pist the right to decide if you could have an abortion. The same bill gave men the power over their partners body by saying that a person couldn't have an abortion unless their r*pist,husband, or baby daddy allowed it.

#abortion.#roe vs. wade #civil rights

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castellomargot · 6 years

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Top 5 Hannibal Murder Tableaux

@punchedbymarkesmith started the TOP 5 HANNIBAL GAME, covering Hannibal and Will’s best outfits (HAWT picks, by the way!) and @beatricenius covered Hannibal’s interior design. So onto the MURDER TABLEAUX! It’s also a countdown rank, if that matters??

(What I’m really picking here is scenes of violence from the series, and not necessarily committed by Hannibal, so feel free to cover Murder Tableaux again if you think my list left out some pertinent scene!)

#1 - Human Eye/Color Palette

When dear, sweet Hanners helped James Gray into his own mural in Sakizuki, I mean come on, what a pal! Just a bunch of psychopaths helping each other out! For one, it’s just a beautiful & macabre art installation of bodies, which Hannibal, ever the connoisseur of fine/rarefied art, views with pleasure from above, commenting oh-so-enthusiastically “I love your work”, but mostly I adore this scene for the moment when Hanni is sewing James into the center of the mural and James says “there is no God”, to which Hannibal replies “certainly not with that attitude.” I laugh out loud just thinking about it! Mads Mikkelsen killed it with the subtle cannibal/murder humor.

(Plus, any scene of Hannibal in his murder suit is pure GOLD)

#2 - Shrike Girl/Field Kabuki

Iconic Hannibal! A stunning tableau from the gorgeously saturated pilot episode Apéritif- it has everything we love about the show: meticulously arranged dead body, antlers, ornate symbolism of Hannibal’s love for Will, and this murder just set the tone for the season. The infamous “field kabuki” of Cassie Boyle is Hannibal’s loving gift to Will, so that he may finally see who the real killer is- what a fucking hopeless romantic! (And I adore David Slade, who flawlessly executed this episode)

#3 - Beverly Katz Slideshow

I’m still in mourning over this. Probably forever. I like to pretend that this is the one murder Hannibal did not want to do, but had to do… doesn’t really matter because fuck me, I miss Beverly! (My fav part about Bev’s death is really the scene of the murder itself- could that have been anymore intense?? Beverly hunting & uncovering the truth, then Hannibal going into fearsome predator kill mode- MUCH SUSPENSE!)

Persistent question: how did Hannibal fucking have time for this, or any of his murders, and not look at all sleep deprived? He’s the Michelangelo of murder, on speed, I guess?

#2 - Baby Fetus in a Pig

Holy fucking shit, this scene was BONKERS. Absolutely wild. And heartbreaking. But also balls-to-the-wall wild. Just when I thought Mason couldn’t get anymore sadistic or crazy, he pulls this bullshit. My poor beloved Margot! Only this show could pull off a scene like that, and boy, did it leave a lasting impression. A. BABY. FETUS. IN. A. PIG. WTF. (High five Bryan!)

Important note: I love how this scene really sealed the deal for both Alana & Margot, both in their commitment to kill Mason (murder wives), but also in their commitment to each other. Love those bad-ass ladies!

#1 - Hannibal’s Broken Heart (aka Anthony peaked)

Anything post- Mizumono is just….ALL THE FEELS. Poor Anthony, generic fuckboi who didn’t hold a candle to Brand-Name-Will (and I love you for it, Anthony!) got in over his head and our clever cannibal found the most appropriate use for him: a bloody valentine to his beloved Will Graham. (Then came the epic transformation of the heart unfolding itself, sprouting antlers + hooves, and stalking towards an overwhelmed Will Graham- holy shit, I was giddy! Classic Hannibal!)

HONORABLE MENTION: Social Worker in a Horse

Did not include this is the ranking above because no one actually died (does the horse count?) But my god, what an episode! Su-zukana gifted us with the lovable Peter Bernadone, as well as the infamous “Is your social worker in that horse?” THEN! Hannibal, for once, appears shocked as asshole social worker emerges from the horse, followed by almost getting murdered by Will Graham- cue loving looks/touching between Will & Hannibal. God, what an episode!

God, I miss this show!

#this is literally the biggest post i've ever done #holy shit #top 5 hannibal #murder tableaux #is your social worker in that horse?#beverly katz #shrike girl #minnesota shrike #hannibal's broken heart #baby fetus in pig #margot and alana forever #murder wives #hannibal #fannibals

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lyly1230 · 3 years

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old but gold 🐣👀🐰☺️

#bts #jimin #jungkook #baby mochi #muscle pig #jikook #kookmin #fetus jikook 🥰🥰#🐰💜🐣

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success-and-corruption · 3 years

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Gauze Album Review

Because some people want my thoughts on DEG albums I will be reviewing them so I figure I would start with their first full-length one. Please leave a comment on your thoughts on this album and my review.

Track 1: Gauze -mode of adam- (it's actually GARZE -mode of adam-)

This track is okay for what it is. It starts out very dark with circus music but then it becomes fast and hectic. Altogether I don't think it really sets the tone for the rest of the album.

Track 2: Schwein no Isu

Chair of the pig. This track definitely fits with Gauze in my opinion. I really like the opening guitar riff and the bass complements it very well. The German matches the track numbers on the back of the album which I appreciate. My boy Die wrote the music for this song so that's always a plus. I also always love some gang vocals. "Geist seele wille zelle, geist seele wille zelle"

Track 3: Yurameki

Now this song really cements the fact that Gauze is a VK album. Written by Shinya this one perfectly captures that early DEG sound. It's also nice to hear Kyo's clean vocals throughout the entire song. The instruments all work well together as well and I don't think there's much awkwardness with the transitions in this song. Yurameki is one of my favorite songs on the album.

Track 4: raison detre

First we had German and now we have French. Raison detre (or more properly Raison D'être which means reason to be) is a fun track and one I used to know how to play on the bass. The electronic beat and the sound of the guitars get me so pumped despite the... less than positive lyrics. A+ guitar solo.

Track 5: 304 -Goshitsu, Hakushi no Sakura

This song is good in that it's very different from the other tracks on the album. It's dark and Die plays acoustic in this one which is typically associated with a more calm style but this song is fast paced and the music video for it is beautiful visually but the way that the members portray mental illness is not really that accurate. Additionally I think that vocally this is one of Kyo's weakest work on the album.

Track 6: Cage

I actually do know how to play this on the bass and in fact it was one of the first songs I learned when I picked up the instrument. It's also I think one of the few songs that doesn't have the bass in standard tuning, instead it's in drop D. Cage starts out with a calming music box playing the melody of the chorus and then it quickly transitions to a faster tempo with a killer bassline with a bass solo throw into the mix. We all know it. We all love it. This song is very fun even though Kyo sings about a person being abused by their mother and in turn abuses their girlfriend. The transitions could have been a bit smoother in my opinion. It's still a great song to listen to and play on the bass.

Track 7: Tsumi to Batsu

I really don’t like this song very much. The guitars are boring and too repetitious and although I don’t expect anything different from Kyo lyrically (meaning I don't expect any happy lyrics) but these lyrics just don’t do it for me. It's an okay song for what it is but it's definitely one of my least favorite DEG songs in general. I much prefer the remake.

Track 8: Mazohyst of Decadence

This song is surpisingly one of my favorites on the album and another song I know on the bass (but really the bass is super simple in this one). As most people most likely know the lyrics are from the viewpoint of a fetus being aborted. I will not be getting into the abortion debate for obvious but everything in this song just works. The guitars in the beginning, the baby going from laughing to crying, Kyo’s vocals during the chorus. The ambiance and slow tempo really work to paint a very hopeless landscape and that tone setting is what I think DEG does best with their longer songs.

Track 9: Yokan

BOP ALERT. This song definitely deliberately placed after Mazohyst to cheer the listeners up. Yokan is a song in which the instrumentals don’t match the lyrics. The guitars, bass, and drums all paint a bubbly and energetic picture while Kyo sings about a guy no longer loving his girlfriend and mistreating her because he no longer loves her. The lyrics are a very stark contrast from the instrumental part of the song but that's DEG for you. Like Yurameki I think this song is a great way to showcase that VK sound. Didn’t the Yokan single get released like a week before Gauze? Weird.

Track 10: Mask

“While its members have promised us peace, they have led us to war heedless of the platform upon which they were elected.”

This was a snippet from Charles Lindbergh in his Des Moines speech in 1941 in which he blames the British, Jewish people, and the Roosevelt administration for leading the USA into WW II. BIG yikes. I think this song is about how people shouldn’t just follow orders for the sake of following orders which was the central theme of the Nuremberg Trials in which the Nazis were being tried as war criminals. Or maybe it's just about a corrupt government? Sorry for the history lesson but I felt that the context was important to understand the song. On to the musicality of the song: this song took awhile to grow on me because it seemed kind of messy and like I couldn't ever catch a break. It just keeps going... but eventually I learned to appreciate it for what it is. Again not really my favorite song but it's also not a song I think about very much.

Track 11: Zan

Kyo’s breathing and laughing set the stage for this song. The song itself is rather jarring and in my opinion a bit hard to listen to. I much prefer the remake but this is not a bad song. Not really much to say about this one other than it's definitely the heaviest track on the entire album.

Track 12: Akuro no Oka

What a song. I really love all of it and I also know how to play this on the bass minus the solo. This song feels like a story in music form and I love Kaoru’s hat in the music video for it. The wind sound Die's acoustic strumming opens the song and continues throughout the song as Kaoru, Toshiya, and Shinya play. When I listen to it I can feel the gloominess and sadness that this song portrays through the instruments and Kyo's vocals. This song was written in A minor I think so it makes sense that it would sound sad. Kaoru's guitar solo is melancholy and Toshiya's bass solo provokes some sort of emotioanl response from me. I think it’s a perfect way to end this album.

Track 13 (?): Gauze -mode of eve-

This is technically part of Akuro no Oka but it’s definitely different. Not much to say. It’s spooky and Kyo counts down in English.

Bonus time!

Of course I have the limited edition

Bonus track 1: I’ll (single version)

I have this single as well and I like how it’s the same size as a Gamecube game disk. With that out of the way, I think this song really doesn’t fit with the overall mood of the album but the bassline sure is catchy.

Bonus track 2: Jealous (single version)

This song fits the mood of the album more, but not quite. I also have this single. I haven’t listened to this song in a long time so I don’t really have much to say. Sorry.

Overall this is a very promising first full-length album and a great introduction to early DEG and their past VK style. In general I enjoy their heavier stuff but this album is just a good time all around. I rate it 8/10 because some of the songs just don’t do it for me.

That’s it! My first ever album review. I want to hear your thoughts because I’m sure many people will disagree with me.

#dir en grey #gauze #album review #please comment your thoughts

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terrortalesv · 2 years

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New Developments

Trade (I think? This took so long I forgot, oops) with @tr85n.

Human AU where Stella is the bio child of Benson and Pam. Some pregnancy milestones and sweetness.

Benson arrives home from work half an hour late, tired and headachey, to a pig and two cats greeting him at the door as he sets his keys on the buffet.

“Come on, move,” he gently nudges them out of the way with a foot, only now looking up to see his wife also standing there, looking elated. The sight of her face eases his woes somewhat. He gives her a half-smile.

“Benson!” Pam cups his face and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey!” He puts an arm around her shoulder, “what’s that look for?”

“Benson, the fetus has started moving! It’s been doing it on and off, pretty much all day.”

That perks him up. Pam grabs his hand and guides it to her lower belly. He presses it against her warm flesh and holds it there for several seconds, occasionally moving it slightly when he can’t feel anything. He feels a pang of disappointment in his chest. Huh. Probably too early for me to feel it just yet.

He hides his disappointment with a grin, a kiss and a “wow! That’s really exciting!”

“Yeah…” Pam sighs with a small smile.

Benson doesn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. The twinge of sadness goes away after a while, very much overshadowed by the excitement of such a major development.

Later that night, he approaches his wife, eyes crinkled, and says he has an idea. She raises an eyebrow in response.

“What is it?”

“Well, I was thinking we could start thinking of some names for baby,” he places a gentle hand on her belly as he speaks, “what do you think?”

“Yeah, we can do that,” Pam smiles and curls her fingers around his hand.

“Oh, great,” Benson takes a tiny notebook and a pen out of his pocket and flips to the first page.

“Wait, you came prepared?” his wife giggles.

He kisses her on the cheek, “yeah, I’ve got a couple ideas written down.”

“Well? Let’s hear them.”

He sits down on the bed next to her and mumbles as he skims through the list.

“Uhh, I think Sam’s a nice, classic little unisex name.”

“Mm-hmm,” Pam adjusts her glasses so she can more easily see the list for herself. She points, “ooh, Connor and Justin? Those are some pretty cool boy names.”

“Yeah. Aaaand… I think Jasmine’s really pretty. And Penny is cute. But I don’t know so many girl names.” Benson chuckles lightly.

His wife pauses to think for a second, “what about Ben? Like Benson? Not a girl's name obviously, but… I like it.”

“Hmm…” He doesn’t know what to think about naming their child after himself, but thinks it’s sweet that she likes it. He smiles and presses a little kiss to her forehead and closes his eyes briefly for a moment, trying to savour this moment.

Pam giggles and puts an arm around his back. She nestles her face into the crook of his neck and whispers, “you’re going to be a stellar dad, I know it.”

Benson’s eyes snap open and a lightbulb flashes in his head. He picks up his pen again and quickly writes something else under the list of names.

Stella.

She glances at the page again, “Stella? That one’s super pretty.”

“Yeah! I mean, I think so,” he pauses before speaking again, “oh! While we’re talking about names, I heard that it’s good for bonding and stuff to have a little fetus nickname for him or her, so… maybe that’s an idea.” He shrugs.

“I vote Li’l Benny,” Pam blurts out without a second of hesitation or thought.

“Wait, Li’l Benny?” He lets out a small, amused chuckle at the suggestion. He tries for a second to think of something better, but nothing else comes to mind.

“Yeah. It’s cute.” She grabs his hand gently.

“Well, in that case,” Benson uses his free hand to caress her lower belly, “hi, Li’l Benny. How are you doing?”

#regular show #pam #benson #mywriting

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arinbelle · 3 years

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Grateful

Nessian one-shot, smut*

A/N:Dearest the people who put up with me,

This fic...oh boy. So this is the first ever fic I ever wrote. I can’t actually remember why I never posted it, but this was the first thing I ever, ever, ever wrote, even before the multi-fic, even before all those other one-shots. This was my little experiment, guinea pig baby. Treat her kindly please. Um, yeah so this is NSFW, at least towards the end. Not crazy like the other stuff I’ve written aHem *blushes super red*, but ya know, it’s there. I think this was how I knew I was destined to write filth one day- this was my gateway.

Also, literally because I’ve promised so many fics to people and haven’t posted any of them, I’m just releasing this from my drafts because, well, she needs to go. Live her life as a post, free from the WIPs floating near her.

Enjoy? God I hope so. I didn’t proofread this cuz I wrote when I was a fetus writer and I can’t handle rereading it anymore.

Warnings: NSFW, graphic gore? depends on how your stomach is I guess

Tagging: @bookstantrash @moe8 @duskandstarlight @queenestarcheron @queenofbloodshed @vasudharaghavan @courtofjurdan @allilal @cassianscool @sjm-things @greerlunna @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth

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It was warmer tonight. Most nights in Illyria, especially this late into the season, were painfully cold. But tonight was different. Pleasanter. It might have been the warm currents coming in from the sea that surrounded the borderlands. The mountains certainly never helped add any warmth to life in the bleak war camp. Not that she saw it as bleak anymore. Muddy perhaps, when it rained so much the water could reach her knees and she would need to change out of her soaked and ruined dress. But not bleak. Not for some time.

That first month...she shuddered. That was painful for everyone involved. For Nesta, who couldn't sort through the roiling emotions that threatened to consume her very being, it was a different sort of hell she was then being subjected to. There was the anger-no- the rage, at being sent off to a war camp with a male she loathed by her younger sister. There was the sadness- it came unexpectedly one night, two weeks after she had started staying with Cassian in his home. Great waves of despair so strong she thought she would suffocate under the pressure. She didn't know she was screaming through her tears until Cassian came running in and held her close to his chest. She'd never cried out loud, barely able to make a noise in that cramped cabin with her two sisters lying snug beside her. No, Nesta had mastered the art of breaking apart in silence with her sisters peacefully sleeping next to her. She never wanted to disturb them with her pain. She still didn't. Clearly they didn't want to be disturbed either. Hence sending her away.

They never talked about that episode. Of how Nesta had trembled as sobs racked through her too thin form. Or how Cassian had just held her, enclosed her in his warm, strong wings, one hand stroking her hair and his lips briefly brushing her forehead every few minutes. She didn't know how long he held her like that, or when she fell asleep and he laid her down on the bed and tucked her in. They didn't talk about a lot of things, that was just who they were. It worked for them. Nesta had never been very good at words...well she was. Just not the ones that spoke from her heart. She was much better at throwing them out like ice shards at whoever dared to step too close. But Cassian, Cassian who reminded Nesta of fire made flesh- her ice never threw him off. If anything, it beckoned him closer.

But it was warmer today, so Nesta had decided to enjoy the climate for however long it lasted, and put it to good use. She'd journeyed the short path behind the house, once just Cassian's house, and now hers as well, to the small lake in the middle of the forest. She'd grabbed a picnic cloth to sit down on as well as some blankets in case the chill in the air returned. After she set up her spot she quickly returned to the house to retrieve the remaining necessities for the day. She put them in a basket and went on her way with her Grimoire, her talismans, her potions. She kept her witch-dagger in the other hand. Cassian had made sure it was specially crafted by an Illyrian smith who had apparently made his own sword for him when he had become Commander. Oh she had her own collection of swords and weapons to rival Cassian's, but she wasn't on her way to a match in the ring or training with him. Witchcraft was a more delicate art, albeit just as bloody at times.

She set to work quickly, pulling out her Grimoire and chanting her spells. Today was a practicing day so she had no interest in anything too dark. Simple conjurings of books from her room onto her lap, and then back to her shelf over and over had her warmed-up for more complex incantations. She conjured a pleasant wind with a twirl of her fingers and sent it skittering over the rippling water ahead of her. She grabbed her witch-dagger and sent a flame dancing along it's blade, effectively cleaning it before setting it on her own skin. Blood magic was frowned upon by even the Fae and especially the superstitious Illyrians, and for good reason. But she would not be pushing into the darker recesses of her powers today no matter how much her fingers itched to turn her spell into a hex instead. Perhap direct it at one of the camp warlords who had upset her a few days ago. It didn't bother her that he'd called her a demonic-witch and told her to stay away from the women and children of the camp. He had been irritated when she had called out his blatant unfairness in training the females in the ring. It was when he had said he didn't take orders from the bastard's whore that had her seeing red. The insult, not to her, but to Cassian had sent her hissing and she might have taken his head off right then and there, had Cassian not intervened and separated the two.

She ignored the small smile he sent her way though, the gratitude at someone standing up against the word that had been ingrained into his sense of worth for so long. Never mind that it was her who had once thrown that insult at him too. She had seen that insecurity just as he had seen all of hers, and before he could cut her, she made the first move. But Cassian was not like other people Nesta had encountered. He traded every blow of her words back with a parry of his own. If she was a viper with venom dripping down her fangs, he was a wolf, feral and always ready to bite.

Nesta used her blood to fuel a locator spell that she'd been working on perfecting for some time now. She had the idea about a month ago when Cassian had gone on a visit to another camp and had not returned back on time. She had no one to turn to in her worry and so she'd consulted the Grimoire. The spell had looked easy enough, and even though Cassian had warned her ages ago that blood magic was dangerous and only for seasoned spell-casters, she hadn't listened. It had backfired somehow, with Nesta both unable to locate Cassian, and ending up fitfully sick on the floor of the living room. She'd hurled up her guts and then blood and then nothing, dry heaving before passing out. She hadn't had enough strength to get up or move for a full day. Just as she had cleaned up the sick and gotten into the bath, Cassian had entered the house. The evidence of her spell work was gone but the scent of vomit and blood and wrongness still permeated the air and Cassian had demanded answers. She had been too close to bursting into tears, both from the ordeal she had just endured and also at the sight of him whole and unharmed. So she hadn't answered right away, sinking lower into the bathwater and closing her eyes. He waited a little longer for an answer before giving up and undressing as he sighed in resignation. She really did try not to open her eyes and look upon his beautiful and very naked body as he entered the shower. But Nesta had never been very good at inhibiting herself. And Cassian was her one weakness, though she'd seldom admit that to herself let alone him. Of course there were other ways to locate him, should her worries get the best of her. He'd told her as much when she finally admitted to him what had happened.

"Why not just use the bon-?" he'd started off and quickly cut himself off. He muttered something about starting dinner and left the room while she continued combing her hair.

The bond. That was another thing they never talked about. It was there. Nesta can't remember ever living without it. It is as much a part of her as he is, although, she supposes that is what the bond is anyways. A part of her own soul. It's stronger now than it was when a human girl had let a dangerous Fae male kiss her throat. Maybe it's always been a part of her, the Cauldron just being the final catalyst to seal it's complete emergence in her.

He was on the far side of the camp, closer to the cliffs where he trained the aerial legions in complicated spins and flips in the air. She could see it on the map she had in front of her, her blood gathered in a circle around where he was. It reminded her of another time she had used her gifts to trace what she wanted to find. Bones and stone, Amren had called it. That was a different time though. A different Nesta too. She had been afraid of so many things back then- her powers for one. She was also afraid of losing Elain in that war. Losing Feyre. Losing...him.

Now as she quickly cleaned the blood in the lake from the map and her arm, she can't imagine ever living without her powers. Because she had existed without them before. Existed and raged and thrived off of anger alone. But now, now she was living.

Nesta isn't sure how long she's been sitting there at the side of the lake, throwing spell after spell out above the water. It's a dusky pink in the sky signaling to evening time. She's creating small whirlpools in the water when she hears him. He's slow to approach behind her, stopping a few feet away from her spread.

A moment more he stands there gazing at her before silently unwrapping his weapons from his leathers and setting them down next to her talismans. He sits down behind her, leaning against an ancient oak tree, spreading out his legs on either side of her. She sneaks a glance behind her shoulder and her breath falters.

Cassian’s eyes were closed and his strong chest was gently rising in a rhythm that was so at odds with her own fluttering heartbeat. That was what he did to her though. She should count herself lucky that she was in so much more control around him now. The first few months of sharing his home with her, she was constantly flushed- a stammering, clammy, mess of a female. And damn him but he knew the effect he had on her. He relished in it, smirked at her in what she could only describe as male pride, every time she became flustered around him.

He opened his eyes suddenly and Nesta decided to act natural, rather than avert her gaze and give herself and her ogling away. Those eyes...she could lose herself in those eyes. They changed colors depending on the day, or maybe it was his mood. Sometimes they were green and flecked with amber when he sent her his heated glances, and other times a warm brown for when he sent her his honeyed words. Rarely did she see them almost black-completely predatory and vicious- for when the warlords tried his patience and brought forth ugly memories from the past. Never was that gaze ever directed at her.

"Enjoying the view?" he teased, a corner of his mouth turning up in a playful mock.

Deciding to not start in on a round of banter, she tells him the truth.

"Yes."

His eyebrows rise up in surprise. It's usually him that's brash in complimenting and flirting with her. And she's usually the one that is shocked into silence by how filthy he can get. The surprise doesn't stop him for long, because he starts forward reaching a hand out to grab the back of her hair. He tugs lightly and she's forced to look at him properly this time, angling her body towards him.

"Come here," he whispers.

She almost smiles then. She darts her eyes around conspiratorially and then dramatically whispers back. "No."

He frowns and the furrow in his brow is so shockingly adorable she laughs out loud this time, and then turns back to her spellcasting.

He sidles up behind her and splays a calloused hand across her stomach, abruptly pulling her back to his chest. She thinks about it, to continue pushing his patience or to give in. She truly wants to anyways. She settles on giving in and quits casting, lightly setting her hands on the tops of his thighs.

He makes a noise in the back of his throat in approval and the hum vibrates through his chest into her. She shivers even though Cassian's warm body is completely pressed to her back. He lowers his head and starts kissing the side of her neck, gentle at first but enough to make her eyes rolls back in her head. The hand on her stomach moves up to firmly grasp her jaw and move her head just so, providing him even more access to her neck. She'll have bruises tomorrow with the way he's going, but she can't be bothered to stop him. He loves marking her, and damn that primal Fae part of her that relishes in how territorial he can be. Finally she grows tired of the attention her neck is getting and she twists her head to capture his lips.

He tastes like pine and chestnuts and she moans into his mouth at how right this feels. She had missed him all day, and now that he is here, she never wants him to leave.

His other hand has slipped under the skirt of her dress and is inching higher and higher as the ferocity of his kisses deepen. When he strokes her core lightly through her underwear she jumps at the contact and ends up biting his lip, sending him hissing before biting her back. His tongue darts out and smooths over the small hurt before kissing her hard again. She breaks away from his lips and turns herself around to straddle him, pushing him back to lean against the tree.

She can't think clearly. Lust is fogging her mind and the heat pooling at her core is the only thing driving her movements now. She pulls at his shirt and he quickly helps her remove it. She wants to feel him, feel his heated skin against hers before they go further.

No matter how many times she's seen him shirtless, she'll never get over how breathtaking his markings are. The Illyrian tattoos that whorl around his chest, along his shoulders and his biceps, are stark against his tan skin. They seem even more pronounced in the moonlight.

It's nightfall she realizes with shock. Although it isn’t the first time she’s lost track of time in the presence of this wondrous male in front of her.

Her nails lightly scrape his tattoos as she reverently traces them slowly. She'd like to trace them with her tongue but she wants him inside of her more. He's breathing heavily, his warm breath mingling with hers, and his nostrils flare. She can scent her arousal in the air as well so he's likely already close to snapping and just taking her.

"Nesta...," he groans before crushing his lips to hers again. His fingers once again find themselves between her legs and now he wastes no time in moving aside her undergarments and pressing his fingers on her heated core. She gasps at the sensation and screams a little when he plunges a finger inside her. Her hands reach for purchase and grasp at his hair, pulling harder with each stroke he makes inside her.

When he adds a second finger and curls upward, she thinks she could die from the pleasure. When he frees her breasts from her bodice and licks around her peaked nipple, she can't hold back the incoherent moans that tumble from her mouth. She's on fire, completely wrecked from the inside and still burning. She clenches once around his fingers and he knows how close she's getting, his thumb presses and circles on her bundle of nerves. She comes with his name on her lips and her lips moving against his.

"Cass..." she whispers into his neck, still half-delirious from her high, and not fully capable of forming thoughts, let alone sentences.

"What do you want, sweetheart?" his voice is achingly sweet, as his tongue flicks out at her neck again, at that one spot that she loves so much.

She moans, again unable to form the words properly of how much she desires him. But he knows what she needs. He's quick in unbuckling his pants, the only hint at how eager he is too, even if he hasn't said much to her.

He sets her off of him gently to fully remove his clothing and she pulls her half unlaced dress off of herself. Then she's reaching for him and he catches her arms, stropping her advances.

"Wait," he chuckles, before eyeing her slyly, "...or do you want to freeze out here?"

"You can keep me warm," she coyly responds.

His barking laugh is his only response as he grabs the blankets behind them and wraps them both under and over them.

His hand circles her wrist and lightly pulls, telling her "Now you can come."

"I already did."

He raises his brows in surprise for this is twice in one night that she's thrown innuendos at him. That's his forte usually. But something about the way he's looking at her, like he could devour every inch of her, is making her tongue a little loose. Still, she relents and crawls over to him, settling herself in his lap, her arms encircling his neck. His hands rise up to hold her waist and he nuzzles his face against hers, and she realizes, she is content to just stay here with him.

Skin to skin.

No words.

Just...them.

Cassian has other ideas though and before she can protest, he's flipped them over, and his massive form looms above her. His wings unfurl and that's twice in one night that she's breathless. Dark as midnight with old and new scars littered all over them, they're beautiful and deadly and horrific and lovely. She wants to erase the scars that mar them, kiss away all his hurts, as she remembers the fact that she was there for some of those new scars. She was witness to how he was hurt and how helpless she was, forced to watch- a victim herself.

Those dark thoughts are quickly banished from her mind as Cassian sets to work on her breasts. He cups and squeezes and bites until she is writhing underneath him and her legs are squeezing together as heat pools in her down there again.

"Quit playing around," she all but snarls at him. He isn't at all bothered and just smirks at her before returning to his work. He takes his time, working his way back up her chest to her lips again, leaving more nips and markings that she'll admonish him for the next day. She can't take it anymore, the waiting, so while he's kissing her, she grabs at his hardened length and strokes. He breaks from her lips, growling harshly into into her clavicle, and then slowly, so slowly she could scream in frustration, he slides into her.

Once he is fully sheathed, he stops, and cups her cheek. His gaze is heavy and she feels out of sorts with him looking at her so intently. This isn't a look of lust. It's one of adoration and awe. It's something they don't discuss. How much they truly care about the other.

In the beginning, it was just sex. Nesta had had many lovers. So had Cassian. And they both had an appetite for it. So meaningless sex, especially when forced to live together under stressful circumstances, was almost expected. And in the beginning, it wasn't soft. It wasn't sweet. It was rough, and needy, and hard and fast. Although Cassian took her more than once through the night to make up for how quickly they found their release in each other. But with time and with healing, it got better.

Not fixed, because it was obvious to Nesta that she'd never be fully okay with everything that had happened to her. Neither would Cassian. But they were better. It became less of a battle of wills when they clashed their tongues together, just like the swords they still sparred with out in the ring. It wasn't a fight for dominance when she rode him instead of letting him atop her. Before she knew it, he was holding her late into the night and suddenly she was staying in his bed instead of leaving right after to her own room. And she supposed they could even call it "making love" now, as opposed to the hate-fucking they'd been doing before. Except she wouldn't do that. That had too many implications and too much admittance into how deeply she truly loved him.

So she lost herself in the sensations of pleasure coursing through her while he thrust in and out of her. His pace was unmatched and she didn't have any strength in her to meet his hips upward and cant back to them. Her legs locked around his waist harder and she dug her heels harder into his backside, spurring him to go deeper.

More. More. More. That's what she wanted.

When he obliged her, her moaning was replaced with breathy gasps punctuated by each buck of his hips. He was moaning and gasping just as hard as she was, if not more. She was his undoing just as much and he was hers. He was hitting that spot deep inside of her with each pump and she could feel that she was so close.

She must have said it out loud because he locked eyes with her, his furious pace unyielding, and responded, "Then come for me, sweetheart."

And did she ever. His voice, his words, those teeth biting into her earlobe and then kissing her lips, his free hand massaging her breasts were all a deadly combination. She felt him jerk inside her and she could feel he was as close her. Her release made her see stars and say Cassian's name over and over until there was no strength left in her.

His teeth lightly grazed her jaw, still half inside of her, and she couldn't fathom how she could still want him so much, her need for him barely sated even though it was obvious she was too tired to go another round.

"I missed you today," he admitted into her neck, and the whispered truth engraved itself into her skin so much deeper than the already fading markings ever would.

She hummed in response and carded her fingers lightly through his hair, more snarled now from his training and then their...vigorous session. He looked up from his ministrations and met her eyes with a softened gaze. This wasn't the battle hardened General Commander before her. No, he had put that mask aside for her a long time ago, when she had done the same for him. This was Cassian. Just Cassian. Her Cassian. And she was Nesta. Just Nesta. His Nesta.

He shifted off of her then, and pulled her into his side, pulling the blankets around them and curling his arms around her. The chill in the air had indeed returned but Cassian's warm body chased away any cold that seeped into Nesta.

In fact, Cassian chased everything away that hurt Nesta. And for that, for him, she was grateful.

#nesta archeron fanfic #nessian fanfiction #nesta archeron #cassian #nesta x cassian

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mangamushi · 3 years

Text

Thoughts on Panorama of Hell

(HINO Hideshi, 1 volume, 1984)

(warning for spoilers and disturbing topics)

In Panorama from Hell, a painter obsessed with depicting hell takes the reader on a journey to discover his life. His work, his neighborhood, his family members and family history are presented to paint a bleak and violent picture of hell on earth.

Hideshi Hino is a very big name of horror manga. Panorama of Hell is one of Hino’s most famous and acclaimed manga, and represents in many ways the quintessence of his style. When he draw Panorama, he thought it would possibly be his last horror manga (he didnt actually stop after that, though).

It displays all his favorite themes and even blatantly recycles ideas from his previous works. It is therefore is a very good entry point for anyone interested in Hino’s stuff. One the other hand, it feels a bit redundant when you are already familiar with his work, especially if you have read Lullaby from Hell, as both manga are very similar.

As the title suggests, Panorama takes place in a hellish setting, described in great details by the main character. He is a painter who uses his own blood to paint, and the world he lives is horrible in many ways: from his window he sees an execution platform operating non-stop, a stream full off trash and corpses runs next to his house, he lives in the smell of burning bodies because of the next-door crematorium...

These first few chapters are so insistent on being as abhorrent as possible that I found it hard to take seriously. In the beginning it felt so exaggerated and lacking any subtlety that it almost felt a bit comical at times, like the author was just stacking awful things on more awful things for shock value.

“his daily routine”

And it keeps escalating from there. Next, his family is introduced: cruel children with a dark sense of curiosity, a beautiful wife who seems straight out of a classic japanese horror tale (pale skin and long black hair, wearing traditional clothes...), until we go back in time to witness the story of his grand-parents and parents.

It gradually becomes more interesting, especially the part about his family which shows deeply ingrained violence and insanity getting passed down from a generation to the next. It culminates when historical events (WWII and its aftermath, the atomic bombings) are shown, intertwining with the painter’s personal story.

Different kinds of hells complete each other (ambient with initial setting and scenery of desolation, a more personal hell with the intra-familial violence, and the wider-scale historical hell of war).

Overall, I find Hino less imaginative than fellow “horror masters” Junji ito and Kazuo Umezu. Those two can come up with the craziest ideas, whereas Hino’s scenarios and imagery are somewhat more expected/conventional for horror.

But perhaps the most interesting part of Panorama is the way it blurs the borders between reality and fiction. First of all, the main character, an artist who specializes in depicting horror, acts as a stand-in for Hino himself. This is fairly common in his work, his other manga Lullaby from hell even has an extremely similar character overtly present himself as Hino:

The artist from Panorama is making his last, best painting, just like Hino who was thinking of ending his mangaka career with his strongest work. Both the painting and the manga share the same title, “Panorama of Hell”.

The similarities between Hino and his main character don’t end here, and many elements of the story are actually taken from Hino’s own life: his grandfather really was a yakuza, his brother went into a coma, his father was pig farmer with a tattoo on his back...

Just like the painter, Hino grew up in the context of the direct aftermath of WWII. Both the character and the author were born in Japanese-occupied China, and were nearly killed when their family fled back to Mainland-Japan after the country’s loss. He takes inspiration from his own life and in the traumatizing things he witnessed and lived through to draw his manga. It is hard to discern what is fiction or not in the painter’s story. Many elements are obviously fantastical and folklore-ish, like the beheaded ghosts visiting the wife’s bar (this chapter feel like a tone-shift, it is much more whimsical, with the corpses happily eating their own body parts), yet the references to real historic events like the war and Hiroshima bombing still links Panorama of Hell to reality, to our world.

The painter’s insanity makes him an unreliable narrator. Indeed, at the end of the story, the current members of the painter’s family (his wife, his daughter and son, his brother...) are revealed to have been fake all along : the wife and children are a mannequin and puppets, the brother is a pig’s corpse...

Moreover, by having the painter address the reader directly (”let me show you...”) Hino breaks the fourth wall that should separate the world of fiction from reality.

This culminates at the very end of the book, where the painter throws an axe at the reader to kill them.

Hino’s art style is really simple and easily recognizable. The way he draws body horror and wounds isn’t very realistic, which makes the gore parts less shocking. His character’s simple, soft, deformed appearance reminds me of modeling clay or perhaps melting plastic toys.

I am even tempted to describe his style as cute. The big eyes, round features, and the way his characters are often miserable and mistreated by others...it is cute in a pitiful way.

Hino draws lots of babies, children, and baby animals which adds to both the cuteness and the horror. It also helps that I share Hino’s fondness for insects, worms and other similar crawling creatures...

There are figures based on his works that are just too cute!

Hino often puts animals in his stories and even merges animals and humans. He writes stories where people transform into animals (Bug Boy) or give birth to inhuman creatures ( Unusual Fetus -My Baby ). Human bodies are more often than not hosts to parasites and maggots (Mermaid in a manhole...).

In Panorama of Hell, humans are executed one after the other like livestock in a slaughterhouse, and their bodies get dumped in a stream where they mix with other dead animals. Beheaded bodies try to put animal heads on to feel complete again, and the painter’s daughter is obsessed with animal corpses that she collects and dissects.

He doesn’t use any screen tones, nor does he use a lot of crosshatching as a mean to create different shades of grey, so the jet black ink creates a stark contrast against the white of the paper. Some pages are beautiful and esthetically pleasing in spite of the repulsive contents. Especially towards the end of the book, which depict strange surrealist imagery as the world is falling apart.

His frequent use of pitch black silhouettes reminds me of shadow play theater (which originates from China where Hino was born), as well as of Kamishibai (street theater using paper, which was very popular in post-war Japan).

Kamishibai originates from buddhist temples and was often used to spread buddhist teachings.

Hino makes uses of buddhist concepts and imagery in his depiction of hell. Panorama of Hell could be compared to the Hell Scroll, a famous scroll describing the Chinese Buddhist conception of hell with text and pictures.

↑ The “Blood Lake” and “Needle Moutain” in this panel refers to two of the different kinds of hells depicted in the Hell Scroll. The blood lake is exclusively for women.

Young women are only thing that are drawn in a conventionaly beautiful way. However, finding beauty and fascination in the most horrendous things is a central point of Hino’s body of work. His characters are either artists or collectors obsessed with what fits their strange idea of beauty (cf. Flower of Flesh and Blood, where a woman’s dismemberment is an act of creation and a research of ideal beauty in the perpetrator’s eyes).

The contrast between the solid black shadows and the untouched white of the paper can give the impression that a strong, blinding light is hitting the world. The violent light emitted from an explosion, for example. Which is fitting, giving the importance of the Hiroshima atomic bomb in the story and its repercussions that still dawn on the characters years later. It’s like the characters are constantly bathed in the harsh light of the bombings.

The Hiroshima bomb is called a “gigantic emperor from hell”, it rules over the character’s lives, even years after it was dropped. As a child, the painters created a replica of the mushroom cloud that he worships like a god.

Panorama of Hell is a very dark and pessimistic work, displaying a world where there is no hope and nothing is spared (not even the reader, who receives the painter’s axe!). In fact, the main character was already doomed before he was even born. Indeed, he is the child of the Hiroshima bomb itself: his mother got pregnant as she was hit by a beam from the explosion.

#hideshi hino #panorama of hell #horror #hino hideshi #horror manga

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