#back at it again with the lorien legacies content | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seattlesea · 3 years ago

Conversation

Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (part four)

Adam, on FaceTime with One and on mute: Are you guys gonna keep talking about titties or can I get off mute now?

Nine: You can get off mute

Adam: Okay *goes off mute* Sorry we were-

Nine and Eight: TITTIES

Ella after getting her Christmas gift: Sorry, Marina said I couldn't show you guys

Ella two minutes later: Okay let me show you-

Sam, holding a giant tube of cotton candy: Do you want cotton candy?

John: No thanks

Sam: Ok. Do you want cotton candy?

Six: Nah

Sam: Oh. Do you want cotton candy?

Adam: No I'm good

Sam: ...You're all straight

Marina: It's a bracelet from my grandmother, the last thing she gave to me before she passed

Six: Every Wattpad fanfic

John: Where's your other sock?

Sam, sadly: I don't know

Nine: What is this, toothpaste?

Nine: *pours toothpaste into boiling pot* More like mOuTh SaUcE

John, pointing to a stain on Six's jeans: What's that?

Six: Blood

John: Ok

Eight: Okay but geese are-

Eight: *burbs*

Eight: vIcIouS

Six to John: Either make me ramen or go to sleep

Five, on a FaceTime with Nine: Whatcha slurping on?

Nine, drinking a soda: Your dick

Nine, staring at a baby: He has inverted nipples

John: WHAT the hell is wrong with you?

Baby: *says hi to a dark hole*

Nine: *snatches him and runs* OKAY we're leaving

Five: Are you stupid?

Nine, laughing: Yeah, kinda

Baby learning his animals: Octopla!

John: Yeah, octup- WHERE THE HELL DO YOU SEE AN OCTOPUS?

Marina, cutting a sandwich: Oh no, it's falling apart

Eight: Just like my life

Baby: *screams*

Six: *screams louder*

Baby:

Six: Yeah. Silence

Sam: Who. Is biting. My ᵗᵒᵉ

Nine: I am shit straight from the ass of Coco Chanel

Eight: Come on, I'm hungry and I'm impatient

Sam: EWWW THERE'S A CICADA ON MY CAR I THOUGHT THOSE FUCKERS WERE ONLY IN ViRgInIa

Ella: Hehe. Fuzzy *rubs peach on her face*

John from outside: Why is your car parked over there?!

Nine, opening the window: the BEES

Adam: Dude you are so annoying

One: Well it's either let me leave the house and get boba or make me stay here and annoy the fuck out of you. Your choice bitch

Marina: Why did you hide behind me?

Eight: I THOUGHT YOU WOULD PROTECT ME FROM THE CHIHUAHUAS

Five: Dude you're really getting on my nerves

Adam: ruff ruff

Sarah: You need anything, John?

John: Uh, can you get me-

Six: Get me some-

Six: *gargles*

Six: marijuana

Eight: See this, John? This is catnip. It teleports cats to Kitty Land

---

Nine watching a baby chug soda: He's going to town

---

Adam: That's sexual harassment

One: Looking at your face is sexual harassment

---

Five: Have you ever been killed with a butter knife?

Maggie: Once

---

John after regularly playing Call of Duty with Six: Maybe we should let Nine join us

Six: Hell no he probably sucks

John: Nah, you can use your brains for COD and he has brains

Nine: The candle doesn't taste that bad

John: Never mind

---

Sam: I like soup

Eight: Slurp slurp

---

Nine: Do you ever stop reading

Maggie: Do you ever stop fucking talking

Nine: Socialize more

Maggie: Breathe less

---

One: If I stole something would you be mad at me

Adam: No

One:

Adam:

One:

Adam:

One: You're lying

Adam: What the fuck did you steal-

---

Lexa: So who here HASN'T done something illegal?

One:

Six:

Nine:

Adam:

John:

Maggie:

Eight:

Ella:

Five:

Hannu:

Marina:

Sarah:

Sam: *slowly raises hand*

John: Put your hand down

78 notes · View notes

goddamnalientourists · 4 years ago

Text

Random bits of Lorien Legacies fandom history I remember:

- Everyone thinking Five was going to be a girl before The Fall of Five came out and people living their truth writing all those self inserts and oc girl fives who always ended up smooching Nine (who didn't love a good self insert?)

- all those anti Five memes after TFOF which were like "i am number four fans counting to ten 1 2 3 4 not you 6 7 8 9 10"

- that facebook game about mark james that may or may not have been a fever dream

- everyone calling setrakus ra mousetraps for some reason. I don't remember why.

- the fandom making Eight's sole character trait pizza because he referenced it one time. Also whitewashing him with Robert Sheehan edits.

- that time I was really into crack ships and someone took one look at a Nine/Marina fic I wrote bluescreened and did a whole essay on how ridiculous ships made them quit the fandom and everyone called them out on it

- Sam/Six ship being named Stormchaser

- When John/Six/Sam love triangle was going on and everyone went out of their way to hate on Sarah (and also that time everyone thought she was a traitor?? I forgot how that worked out my brain is telling me Setrakus shapeshifted into her but i haven't read it for ages so idk)

- the iconic fic I read once where the fic author didn't like Sarah so they included a scene where her head exploded and she was secretly a robot the whole time to get her out of the picture go bold or go home

- the time everyone started liking Sarah and making critiques of John's character and the series shitty writing #SarahHartDeservedBetter

- the time @officialpittacuslore rocked up, pointed at John and Nine and said "yes, I'll have some more of whatever those two have going on", dug a pit, labelled it 'Stohn' and everyone jumped in overnight (gay alien pit throwback uwu)

- astohnymous sending everyone in the fandom incorrect quotes on anon

- Six/Marina rising in popularity. Sirina supremacy. There is no heterosexual explanation for dreaming about seeing a girl on the beach that's soulmate energy right there.

- sandor/devektra/crayton/lexa fics and edits were a big thing for a while and devektra was always taylor swift

- the period before the revenge of seven was released where there was a countdown centred around celebration of fan content creation where everyone wrote fics and did art and edits for a certain theme!

- the time I got so annoyed by this random guy named Devdan just disappearing and never being mentioned again I made a whole detailed theory involving alternate timelines to make it so Devdan is Eight from a bad!future. I still think this is a cool theory and better than the actual explanation, bad and lazy writing.

- one time I ran a secret santa for the fandom and legend says I still haven't removed the page from my blog because I just forgot to for years. Literally. It's still on my blog. Wth?? Shameful 😔 my blog is terrible but what do you expect i dont get paid

- the shittacuslore and setracrapra RP blogs

- also I have a Malcolm roleplay sideblog I hardly ever used don't know if that counts as a significant moment of fandom history but I just find it funny how out of all characters I could have RPd I chose him. Could have picked a character with cool powers and telekinesis but I pointed at the local traumatised amnesia dad and was like "yes, I will be him", made 3 posts and never used it again.

- I've been an Adam stan since I first joined this fandom and the first thing I contributed to this fandom was a coloured pencil drawing of One wjth a surfboard, and it's been glorious watching Adam rise from 'character people are vaguely aware of but most haven't read the side-stories so they don't know about him to care enough' to 'fan favourite who deserves everything in the world and also look at him he's depressed and queer' (no I am not projecting ok maybe i am but can you blame me) anyway shoutout to Knave for all the Adam content over the years it feeds me

- The time people were coming up with shipnames for fun and I said Kevy for Kelly/Five and everyone rolled with it but it was actually a typo the whole time and doesn't even make sense when you look at it but it was too late to go back no i don't remember why we were discussing shipping kelly/five

- That solid week and a half everyone aggressively shipped Malcolm and Henri

- when legacies reborn came out and there was a resurgence of energy and theories around all the new characters

Anyway I joined the tumblr fandom ~2013 but I've been in this fandom since 2011, before The Rise of Nine was even released. Also what the actual bleeping heck it is 2021 and 2011 was TEN YEARS AGO?? A WHOLE DECADE????? Help

#lorien legacies #i felt like i had to make this for important historical record #also for fun :)#i've been in this fandom a decade hoo boi I'M OLD

95 notes · View notes

knaveofmogadore · 4 years ago

Note

Dudeeeeeeeee i followed you years ago bc of my lorien legacies phase and recently started rereading the series and came back to stalk your page for new content and saw your bio no longer said 18 and was reminded time is a thing??? Wild. Hope you're well!!

It's good to see you again!! Man we're getting old dude. We've got jobs and taxes and shit

My LL stuff is over at @adamussutekh now !

4 notes · View notes

bookingitonthemove · 5 years ago

Text

The Lorien Legacies

“Discovery is born of desperation.” -Pitticus Lore, United as One

This YA fantasy series by Pitticus Lore (a collective pseudonym for James Frey, Jobie Hughes, and formerly Greg Boose) has been on my list for so long, and what with not being allowed out of my house in the middle of a pandemic, I finally got to reading it. It’s about a group of aliens with extraordinary abilities called Legacies that were brought to Earth from a dying planet when they were very small. They can only be killed in order of their numbers, and with another civilization of warriors called Mogadorians out to destroy them, this comes in handy for those down the line. The story starts with John, number four. Everyone before him has been killed, and his life is next. I was a little skeptical at first, but as I read more I found I couldn’t stop. There are seven books, a spin-off series, and several short stories. I only read the main books; “I Am Number Four”, “The Power of Six”, “The Rise of Nine”, “The Fall of Five”, “The Revenge of Seven”, “The Fate of Ten”, and “United as One”. Let’s dig in.

(There will be no spoilers for the series)

What I didn’t like:

The beginning of the series.

-It started off slow at first. I really didn’t think I was going to like it, and I almost stopped after the first book. I didn’t see where it was going, and it didn’t have enough depth for me.

-The writing seemed a little amateur. It wasn’t very eloquent and it was mostly telling, not showing. There wasn’t a whole lot left for the reader to figure out, and it just seemed a little childish and cliche to me. This gets better through the books.

-At the beginning it was just . . . flat. There wasn’t too much depth to the characters and not much to figure out and it didn’t seem very developed. But again, this all changes later in the series.

What I did like:

The end of the series.

-The characters and their arcs. Especially toward the end of the series, we start to see some serious changes in the characters. They become more developed and three-dimensional and make choices unique to them. Choices that fit their character based on things that have happened to them. In the last book, there’s one of the best examples of grief and trauma and character development I’ve seen in a while

-The ending. There’s an expression that says when writing a book, write the ending you need to read. That said, I really enjoyed the ending. I think the characters were treated appropriately, it was (mostly) realistic, and it was the kind of ending I needed.

-The books grow. Exponentially. The first book compared to the last one is insane. They grow with the reader in content, becoming more suited for older readers the farther into the series you go (I mean it gets a little dark, it swears a lot more. Nothing too big). I love stories that do this because it allows the reader to grow with the book. Not only does the series grow in content, but it also grows in skill. The writing is more fluent, the dialogue is better, the books get more complicated, and the series overall seems less amateur. The characters and plot also grow. We get some back story and some depth and more development.

-The world. It was obvious a huge amount of work went into world-building. Everything was consistent and without (at least that I noticed) big plot holes. More of the world is revealed in later books, and there’s so much depth and understanding put into the world-building.

Overall:

I really ended up loving this series. The last two books were by far my favorite, and I couldn’t stop reading them. I would definitely recommend reading, but the first few books will be a little grueling. It’s one of the few series that I can confidently say get better the more books you read, not worse. It will leave you with a world missing in your life and a healthy dose of emotional trauma, as all the best books do.

#book reviews #lorien legacies #I am number four #pittacus lore #no spoilers

0 notes

onion-souls · 8 years ago

Text

Dark Souls III: The Ringed City

Discussion of the Dark Souls III DLC after the break.

The Ringed City is the last bit of Dark Souls content ever until From Soft needs money in a decade. It takes you to the Dredge Heap, a conglomerate of ancient castles compressed together at World's End, different eras warped around each other and rising from a vertical plane in a very Inception-y way.

The first section of the game is a mad run across cliffs as angels blast you with artillery. This is the entire first few hours of this game of punishing medieval combat. Running from lasers shot at you by angels, just to reinforce the theme that God hates you. Eventually you do get to kill them, if you figure out their weakness - their synchronized maggot-men- and their hiding places. Though its requires some dumb luck or tight exploration while running from your life from angelic artillery strikes on narrow tree branches. It's as though you're Disney's Tarzan but also at the Battle of Verdun. This is the part of the game where fall damage is a thing again, right in time for skilled jumping puzzles. Yay.

The revelation that this section is in fact Earthen Peak from DSII sounds like a cool call back but really doesn't add anything to the experience other than a few windmill visuals and an encounter with a cute pyromancer girl. You get to pick up the outfit of one of her sorceress sisters, who, in a bit of environmental storytelling, must have slowly stripped across an entire swamp for the entertainment of headless giants and parasects. This is one of two swamps in the DLC: the swamp of the Ringed City, which doesn't cause poison build up, a series first, and this swamp, which does cause poison build up, a series 37th. I am rather baffled by this use of Earthen Peak, the only real callback to DSII in the DLC; it doesn't take advantage of some of Earthen Peaks' unique medusa boss or strange interior vs. exterior verticality. In a Dredge Heap composed of random castles smashed together, Drangleic Castle or the Iron Keep feel like a better choice, especially since the Harald Warriors look more like Drangelic Castle's golems and DSII-style giants. In any case, at the end of this section is the barely recognizable remains of Dark Souls I's Firelink Shrine, inhabited by yet another Last of Demonkind, a pair of demons that are not particularly hard, which means that they are obviously going to pull some fusion dance bullshit when you kill them. They do, and Wall-Eye into what seems to be the Demon Prince that Prince Lorien fucked up.

Killing the Demon Prince leads you to the eponymous Ringed City, a crumbling ruin of desolate beauty with a welcoming crew of invincible ghost archers controlled by a giant summoner guy, like the fifth type of distinct giant race in the series. After an hour of running towards a small door beneath the summoner, I realized that I needed to jump off the side of the ring and go around the side. This DLC has a running theme of stealth, running, and evasion of enemies rather than direct confrontation that only really compares to the Nightmare of Mensis from Bloodborne or the Tower Knight's level.

This leads to the second swamp, a Floridian nightmare of giant summoners, powerful, headless giants, turtle-backed clerics, and locust-men evangelists. This latter group are the most interesting, a race of locusts with humanoid faces developed by the Abyss to teach humans the wonders and comforts of Darkness, often preaching sermons that obliquely reference characters from the previous games; one tale is clearly a distorted condemnation of the Darkmoon Knightess' fear of the humanity writhing within her. The vast majority of them seem to have degenerated into mindless maneaters, but that happens to pretty much every group in Souls games. This is the strongest hint yet that the Abyss has an intelligence or collection of intelligent operators behind its spread, rather than existing as a mindless metaphysical presence or force of natural entropy and corruption.

The Ringed City, especially this section, just spits +3 Rings at you, which is cute, awesome, and totally undermines the NG+ rewards.

Outside of the swamp comes the original Souls game “RUN FOR YOUR LIFE” scene, a dragon flaming down a narrow passageway. Ah, good times. You then run into what might be part of the Catacombs from Dark Souls I, although that was already where you awoke at the beginning of DSIII. This part is fairly brief and easy, and you get to face the dragon again and knock him off the ledge. This does not reward souls, a warning sign for later.

Within a castle, there is an elevator with a small cubby hole that you can dive into in order to access an entire area and secret boss, a hilariously common trope in Dark Souls found literally nowhere else in human experience. Here is Deatheater Mildred or whatever, and he is yet another Definitely Final Last of the Dragons. He is basically the Ancient Dragon 2.0, and one of those bosses with enough RNG and HP involved that you eventually just get kind of sick of it; the best Dark Souls bosses are interesting and challenging, not repetitive slogs, hard for the sake of hard.

Eventually, you can make your way to another giant summoner who defends a lady name Feanore or whatever on behalf of a king. This is the Old Monk fight, and like the Old Monk fight, has a lot of bullshit added to make the experience awful, namely a souped-up painted world guardian who spawns periodically. Why is this the DLC with the painted world guardian and not the Painted World DLC? Fuck you. After six to twelve times getting lag-stabbed by a 12-year-old sociopath named VegitaCumies88, you get to encounter a sad waifu holding an egg, in what might be a reference to the shape of the Transposing Kiln or to the movie Angel's Egg. Feanore here is Yet Another Last of the Gods, Gwyn's daughter. And yes, Gwyn had a daughter whose fate is now permanently unknown, and was a beautiful tall lady tied to illusions maintaining a world, but whatever, here's a new chick for no reasons. But anyway, you put your hand in the big lady's hole and she, and the world she was sustaining, decay away.

The area outside her keep is now at ground level, and lone and level sands stretching far away. In one corner, you may get invaded by a lady named Sheila or whatever, a knightess who claims to have been the daughter of the Duke and apparently a friend of Darkeater, showing that after the success of Crossbreed Priscilla, the dragons wasted aeons producing nothing but Worst Girls. Looking at you, Shannalotte. Worst Girl Shiela tries to make us feel bad about destroying the Ringed City, but considering that the nicest person you met in the city was a maneating locust preacher, its hard to feel to bent out of shape about it. She comes at you with a cool lightning bow miracle that probably sucks in PC hands like everything and a bludgeoning weapon that is AN ANCIENT, STILL-LIVING PYGMY KING NAILED TO A CROSS. Fucking metal.

The Duke here is almost certainly Seathe the Scaleless (I mean, the Duke Tseldora had nothing to do with the Age of the Gods). I feel like all these individuals with direct ties to the Age of the Gods from DSI undermines the theme of loss, decay, and forgetfulness. I actually prefer DSII's loss of much of human history, with most nations being fogotten. It made it all sadder.

Then you wander over to the other corner of the desert and it's our friend Gael, the entry point and summons from Ashes of Ariandel. Kind of a cool revelation, but it really would have worked better if he was a character in the base game. Gael, at this point, still works; it just lacks the resonance of, say, if it had been someone you worked with on the scale of Hawkwood or Siegward. Gael belongs to the standard twirly big armored guy boss style, with a bit too much bullshit damage to feel particularly fun; this has been a big problem with Dark Souls III design for me. They increased the speed and aggression of bosses, more in line with Bloodborne, but did not give the PCs the agility of the Good Hunter to react with it. I do like that he is the ultimate Guts reference in the series, with the big sword, swirly Berserk armor cape, and the stunning crossbow volleys.

Speaking of character revelations, Lapp's questline is fun, has a great twist that works – even if it is predictable given the voice actor and his lines- and ties up the series pretty well. It might not make sense to some people given a character present in the main game, but time is convoluted ect. Too bad it relies on a really strange bit of adventure-game logic unseen in the Dark Souls series. It was cute.

All in all, the Ringed City was a decent bit of DLC. It had multiple bosses, interesting locations, and at least felt like it was contributing something to DSIII's story – namely, the weird idea that the Dark Soul is still intact in the bottom of a Ring City ruled by “Pygmy Kings.” It's a shame that we never really get to interact with any of them other than a single crawling hollow.

However, Dark Souls III's expansions do not have the essential quality to them that all other Souls Series expansions do; Artorias of the Abyss and the Old Hunters are both key to understanding their main games, have beautiful scenery, and a disproportionate share of the interesting bosses of their titles (and, in the case of the Old Hunters, some much needed weapon options). Hell, in terms of design legacy, Artorias and Manus may be the single most influential bosses in the series. Dark Souls III's Crown Trilogy was not only staggeringly large, these entries were far better than the base game in every respect, from level design to memorable moments (falling into the Old Chaos after trudging through hours of ice and snow; the Brume Tower's eerie, whispering fragments of their Queen; the arrival of Sinh). Even thematically, the Crown's Trilogy's emphasis on lost monarchies, corrupting queens, and time travel through Drangleic's past handled the themes of DSII in a way that the main game completely botched; if I could remix the game, I'd start with the early quest to mercy killing King Vendrick before talking to his spectre and traveling into the past to collect the crowns; the only thing I would tweak is the difficulty scale. That's far more interesting than re-finding the lord souls and killing less cool versions of Nito, Gwyn, and Seathe (though I have to admit that the Lost Bastille was awesome – a prison for one repentant individual is such a cool idea, and I like that it's just one old lady with a sword).

In light of that, the Ashes of Ariandel and the Ringed City are found wanting. Their bosses probably won't linger on in memory for anything other than their frustrating difficulty; it's hard to find a justification for Friede's anime power-ups that make her surpass gods and ancient warriors in lasting power. She just kind of becomes a Lord of Cinder and an Abyss Champion because she's the final boss of the DLC. The other boss from Ashes, which I can't even remember the name of, was so uninteresting that I stopped going after him; he's just another armor and sword guy with a shitty Sif. The bosses that do work are also retreads – Ornstein & Smough Demons, Scythe Ornstein and Crough, the Old Monk II: Even Older, and Super-Artorias Gael. I don't feel like this content is essential to understanding the main game's story either; what we experience here is essentially the Tale of Gael. And it is cool; I like Gael the Slave Knight, compelled to sacrifice his sanity to help his Lady Painter recreate their world. And this would have felt like a great part of Dark Souls lore, but not its conclusion. There are a lot of mysteries and bits of lore still left unexplored, so this felt like a minor let down.

29 notes · View notes

eunwoostudy · 8 years ago

Text

Books read in 2017

MERRY CHRISTMAS! 🎄

Since Christmas is already here and 2017 is nearing an end, here is a list of books/ novels that I read in 2017! (not including books that I have read before in previous years and re-read this year)

1. Lady Midnight

The first book in “The Dark Artifices” series, the sequel to The Mortal Instruments series. It takes place in 2012, five years after the events of that series’s final book, City of Heavenly Fire. It’s another series set in the shadowhunter universe, created by one of my favourite authors, Cassandra Clare! (Follow her on Twitter! She’s really nice!) Here is also her website.

This book’s plot revolves around the shadowhunters of the Los Angeles Institute, especially Emma Carstairs, who now lives in the Los Angeles Institute with her parabatai, Julian Blackthorn and his siblings after her parents died during the Dark War.

There is also a story at the back of the book, called “A Long Conversation” with The Mortal Instruments characters!

(sorry I love #clace so much + i prefer the movie “The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones” to the tv show “Shadowhunters”)

2. Lord Of Shadows

The second novel in “The Dark Artifices”! The plot takes off where “Lady Midnight” left off, and Emma Carstairs has finally avenged the murder of her parents.

(The third and last novel, “Queen Of Air And Darkness” will be published on December 4, 2018!)

3. A Court Of Thorns And Roses

I finally finished the three-book series, featuring the main character, Feyre Archeron, who was previously a Mortal, a huntress. Eventually, she was resurrected as a High Fae by the seven High Lords after her death Under the Mountain. Now, she is the High Lady of the Night Court and the first ever High Lady of Prythian.

4. The Becoming Of Noah Shaw

A book by another one of my favourite authors! This book is in the perspective of Noah Shaw, Mara Dyer’s boyfriend. It is also the first book to “The Shaw Confessions” trilogy which entirely based on Noah Shaw, who is able to heal people and interpret their auras. Noah can sense someone’s pulse, blood pressure, or anything like that. He can sense if anything is wrong with a body and heal it. This book shows the world how Noah interprets it and shows how his feelings slowly develop for Mara.

5. Generation One

I read “I Am Number Four” when I was 8 and I loved it. Ever since then, I read every new addition to the “Lorien Legacies” series ever since. When I heard that there would be a new series about the next generation, I knew I needed the book, so here it is! “Generation One” is the first book of the new “Lorien Legacies Reborn” series! It is a sequel and spinoff to United As One, the seventh and final book of the “I Am Number Four” series.

6. Carve The Mark

By reknown author, Veronica Roth, is “Carve The Mark”, the duology follows Akos and Cyra, young people from opposing cultures whose fates are intertwined.

6. An Ember In The Ashes

(No picture due to the 10 image limit 😢)

In a fantasy world inspired by Ancient Rome, the story follows a girl named Laia spying for rebels against the reigning empire in exchange for their help in rescuing her captive brother; and a boy named Elias struggling to free himself from being an enforcer of a tyrannical regime. The novel is narrated in the first-person, alternating between the points of view of Laia and Elias.

7. Roll Of Thunder, Hear My Cry

(No picture due to the 10 image limit 😢)

I read this book for my Language Arts class, I don’t really know why I included this book in the list though. It’s not bad but not exactly my cup of tea.

—

This marks the end of my list! I didn’t read as many books as I usually do this year due to school but hope you guys enjoyed this list! And once again, Merry Christmas everyone! ❤️

(Most of the content written is taken from Google: Wikipedia & Fandom, since I did not want to give any extra spoilers)

#books #novels #young adult fantasy #science fiction #shadowhunters #the dark artifices #lady midnight #lord of shadows #carve the mark #mara dyer #a court of thorns and roses #cassandra clare #veronica roth #sarah j mass #original posts

0 notes

seattlesea · 4 years ago

Conversation

Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (Part Three)

John: Am I cute

Six: Whatever makes you happy

Marina: Where’s my perfume?

Eight: I drank it

Nine: *squeezes bread* I just really felt like doing that

Five: I feel like doing that to you

Eight: Use your bread you fucking heathen

Five, tucking Maggie and Ella into bed: Night night c*nts

Maggie and Ella, in unison: REEEE

John: *attempts to do something but fails*

Nine: Bitch thought

John: Shut up

Six: Bitch thought

Five: Bitch thought

One: Bitch thought

Eight: Bitch thought

Adam: Bitch thought

John: I hate you guys so fucking much

Eight: Is eating this much cheese even healthy???

John: Raise your hand if you love dogs

Adam: I would but I’m eating goldfish

Five, on an Omegle video chat with a knocked-out Sam and Ella: They're dead

Nine, on the other end of the call: Tell them to get up

Six: Men are dumb. Fuck men. You know, what? To all the ladies in the chat, here's some advice.

Six: Become a lesbian

Six: Adopt a cat

Six: Plant a garden

Six: Live in a forest

Six: Destroy the patriarchy

Six: Travel the world

Six: Fuck shit up

Six: And do it with a smile and a piña colada *bites chip*

Marina: I was gonna wear a cute pink flower crown with my outfit but then I thought fuck that, I'm going low-key cottagecore, not Ohioan frolicker or Idahoan horse girl

Adam: Dude, are you high?

Sam: What? No

Sam, suddenly remembering he rode passenger while Nile smoked weed on their way home and has gotten high off second-hand smoking weed before: OH SHI-

Five: Why am I even up at four in the morning with chips and Mountain Dew???

Marina: I mean, it could be from insomnia rooting from your depressio-

Five: Depression? BITCH PLEASE that shit is so 2019

Adam's teacher: I know it's Monday, but if it's any comfort, today is the first day of the last week of April!

Adam: What the FUCK did you just say to me-

Eight, mimicking an old man: gEt OfF mY lAwN

Sam: *puts face in bowl and laughs*

Nine, knocking on the door: Let me innnnn

John, sitting against the door so Nine doesn't come in: No, I'm still mad at you

Nine: Ok ok I'm sorry, I'll pay you fifty dollars

Five, trying to be compassionate with Nine: Remember when we used to match hairstyles, you fuck?

Literally anyone: *laughs*

Eight: Giggles

Hannu: No sad, just ball

Six: fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me square up square up square up sqUARE UP SQUARE U-

One: Can I use your headphones?

Adam: Sorry, I'm using the-

One: Shut up you dumb fuck

Eight, talking to himself in the mirror: Oh my god look at you in your big, baggy flannel you look sO CUTE you're adorable don't let anyone tell you differently, including you you dumb fucking insecure little bitch

Daniela: What would happen if a woman took penis enlargement pills?

Adam: Hey no offense but what the fuck is wrong with you?

John: What even goes on in your mind?

Nine: Tarot cards, money, Cotton Eye Joe on loop, applesauce, lighting a house on fire, jumping out a second-story house to see if my ankle is durable or not...

John:...

Nine: But mostly Cotton Eye Joe on loop

Five: Some people identify as she/her. Some people identify as he/him. Some people identify as they/them. I identifty as a fucking disappointment.

Marina: Hey, can I ask you a question?

Eight, naked in a bubble-filled bathtub with lit candles, a wine glass full of apple juice, and IceJJFish playing: Do I look like someone with the fucking time?

John: Hey, are you gay?

Adam, sitting on the ground blasting Ariana Grande with an iced almond milk latte and wearing a baggy flannel shirt: BITCH-

Six: *opens her online-shopping package*

Marina: Uh, those are going to make you look a little emo, aren't they?

Six, putting on her thick chain choker and leather gloves: that's the poINT-

Sam: *dances like a crab to the Crab Rave* Crabby Rave make pain go away

One: 'oH i DoNt HaVe PrOnOuNs'- what the fuck are you then, a toaster?

Random celebrity: Wow, fangirls are so sweet and dedicated, they really should get paid for all the promotions and hard work they do!

Six: Ok pay me then

Maggie, crying: All I wanted was some fucking chicky nuggies

Sam, walking up to Nine in public: Hey bestie-

Nine: I don't know you

Sam: Bitch-

Ella: I'm gonna send a celebrity a meme everyday until they reply to me

Marina: Why?

Ella: Why the fuck not?

Five: Yeah, I'm depressed *laughs*

John: Why'd you laugh?

Five: It's a coping mechanism

Maggie: I don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner I wants the three D's

Sarah, horrified: The WHAT

Maggie: Dogs, donuts, and diamonds

Hannu: So there's this philosophy theory-

One: I will fucking drown you

Six: If you are male and you have a flat ass, don't speak to me. I need guy friends who match my level of THICKNESS

One: Oh my god she's so cute

Adam: She has a girlfriend

One: Sharing is caring

Five: If ONE MORE BITCHASS WHORE comments on my clothes and shits about how feminine I dress I swear I will be gOING TO JAIL

Five: JUST SAY YOU ARE JEALOUS YOU CAN'T WORK BOTH AND LEAVE BITCH

Nine: So I have this problem where I hate myself but I still think I'm better than everyone else

John:...

Nine: Like I'm trash but I'm QUALITY trash, I'm trash from the garbage bags of Louis Vuitton, I'm recyclable, reusable trash, I'm the trash no one wants to throw away

John: Um...

Nine: If Gucci made a limited-edition, 24-karat gold garbage bag, I'd be that garbage bag

Maggie, holding a nerf gun to Adam's head: Gimme all your fucking money

Sam: I don't know, I've just been feeling a little down lately

Six: No

Sam: What?

Six: That's not allowed

Sam: Wha-

Six: *smacks Sam in the face with a pillow*

Maggie: BESTIE. YOU ARE A BAD BITCH. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY. WORK IT QUEEN

The pigeon on the sidewalk: