#basically it's a great game and definitely worth buying

[denwritesandcries]

Heart Stealer – Shauna Shipman

Pairing: shauna shipman x fem!reader

Summary: In which Shauna Shipman steals not only your favorite pen during class, but your heart too.

Word count: 3,4k.

Content: no crash!AU, cursing, suggestive, fluff, mutual pining, making out, weird teenagers who don’t know how to communicate, everyone hating on jeff (as they should).

Note: This is basically 3,4k words of reader simping over Shauna.

English is not my first language.

You're not sure when exactly you started noticing her, like really noticing her, but now you can't stop. It's like there's a part of your brain dedicated to cataloging every little detail about Shauna Shipman that you can find.

Maybe it was that time in english class when she turned to the side and shyly asked you to borrow a pen without looking in your eyes. Until then, you had never paid enough attention to your surroundings to know that she always sat next to you.

Anyway, you give her your favorite blue pen without giving it much thought, but when class is over Shauna just puts her own things away and leaves without giving you a second glance.

A week passes and it's as if she hasn't spoken to you; Shauna doesn't give your pen back, which is a bit rude, but you buy a new one – it's not the same, that pen was really good – and start paying a little more attention to her after that.

‘Cause damn, she's a really pretty pen thief.

You don't quite understand why she keeps it, she doesn't use it; That's one of the first things you notice, that she doesn't write with blue ink, just basic black.

Whatever, you won't bother her for that, admiring the way her hair falls over her shoulders during class is much more worth it.

That's probably when it was then, because after that you start to notice her everywhere you didn't before, red flannels catching your eye in the hallways. You find yourself learning things without even realizing it, recording everything you come to adore about Shauna Shipman; the way she wrinkles her nose when she doesn't understand a question on the test, how she always keeps her voice low when talking to people or how she's the first to raise her hand to answer what the english teacher asks in class just because she wants to show that she knows.

You swear you're not a stalker at all. The fact that she probably doesn't even know about your existence isn’t relevant. Are you a little obsessed, though? Yes, definitely.

It was just a silly crush then, that is, until your cousin Jeff started dating the captain of the football team, Jackie Taylor.

Jackie is good, great in fact; too good for Jeff who could be extremely clueless most of the time, but that doesn't matter, they are together and everyone at school knows that wherever Jackie Taylor goes Shauna Shipman is right behind, you can't have one without the other. So you start hanging out with both of them by extension, because as much as an idiot Jeff is, he manages to be a pretty bearable cousin – most of the time –, as well as being your ride home.

The four of you end up forming a little group with a really weird dynamic that works to a certain extent; with Jackie-Shauna being Jackie-Shauna, you and Jeff annoying each other every chance you get, Jeff and Shauna ignoring each other's existence, Jackie being really sweet to you – not really a change since she's your lab partner since the beginning of the year – and you and Shauna hardly ever speaking, but still side by side so you don’t third wheel whenever Jeff and Jackie go out.

That last part doesn't work well as much as the rest, not for you, at least.

You all end up hanging out a lot, which means Shauna is now everywhere, not just in the hallways or the class you share, she's really everywhere and boy, you are fucked.

You go with Jeff to the football games so he can cheer on Jackie – it sucks having to rely on the ride – and Shauna, of course, is there. She's the fastest of the Yellowjackets, you can tell, because your eyes can't stop searching the field for a second when you're in the stands. She is the fastest and is not afraid to face when someone from the other team says or does something stupid during the game, her face red and sweaty from the activity.

One day Shauna curses the game referee who dares to give her a red card for punching – and breaking – the nose of a girl who made fun of Jackie for committing a foul during the second half. She manages to do this without screaming at any point, which ends up being the thing that surprises you the most.

She doesn't look guilty at all as she puffs out her chest and lifts her chin at the girl with the bloody nose and makes her way back to the locker room; all you can do is stare at the whole thing with your jaw dropped because no one should have the ability to look that good after beating someone like that.

Shauna must feel your stupefied gaze on her, because when she turns around, her brow is furrowed and her big brown eyes stare at you with a mix of irritation and confusion: “And what are you looking at?” she asks.

You immediately steps back, because Shauna Shipman may be hot, but she's also scary as fuck. “N-nothing!”

If she didn't think you were weird before, she certainly does now.

You were right about that, now Shauna is the one staring at you. She stares a lot, all the time. You think she doesn't care that you know that, but she looks away whenever you look back at her anyway. It's strange and makes you nervous in a somewhat humiliating way, because she remains quiet and with a serious expression staring into your head even when you're just at school simply talking to some friends she doesn't know.

What ends up being embarrassing is how you're learning that you like her being so shameless like this. It's one more thing to learn about her. Your brain simply registers automatically: ‘Things to adore about Shauna Shipman’; She’s not shy about tackling whatever interests her – and look, it’s you! –, until they face her back, then she becomes shy as if she was actually being subtle; she’s good at fighting but avoids confrontation; she has an opinion on absolutely everything but generally lets people decide for her. You want to know more, more and more.

You work part-time at a pet store after school and Jeff usually leaves you there when he’s not busy, accustomed to your commute. On the days he can't, however, he tells you and you go walking, it's not that far.

Now, one day he just doesn't tell you that he won't be able to take you and you're left waiting for him like a fool on the curb in the school parking lot, damn it, Jeff.

Until Shauna's voice takes you out of your inner despair.

"Do you want a ride?"

When you lift your head there she is, her arm resting on the open car window, a dark red flannel folded up to her elbow and oh my god.

Oh, I want more than a ride, you think.

“Yeah,” you say and give her a small smile as you approach the car, “That would be good.”

She nods in acknowledgment without meeting your eyes as she reaches over to open the passenger door for you. That's another thing you noticed: Shauna doesn't tend to keep much eye contact and in your case she seems to avoid it completely.

You don't bother trying to fill the silence, there's not much to talk about when Jackie isn't around, Shauna doesn't seem to like it when you talk to her, so you don't expect this time to be any different.

But it is.

“Want to pick a song?”

“Huh?” You blink.

“A song,” She repeats, pointing with her chin to the glove compartment without taking her eyes off the road for even a minute – Shauna has always been a responsible driver.

Occurs to you why it's different this time. It's not the first time Jeff has left you in the parking lot, that idiot, but it's the first time Shauna has come to your rescue, even though she's seen you in this situation before. Now she's giving you a ride and trying to talk to you.

Which means, holy shit, Shauna Shipman is talking to you because she wants to.

"Of course!” You rush to open the glove compartment to check the small selection of CDs in there, not giving much thought when Shauna takes the exact route to your job without even asking.

You choose one and put it on the radio, leaning back in your seat waiting for the first song starts, then Shauna straightens up in her seat and says to you smugly:

“Oh, you probably don’t know this band, they’re very underground, but I really like it.” She nods with a smile.

An amused snort escapes your chest, “Queen's underground for you?”, you tease with a raised eyebrow.

Shauna lets out an outraged squeal and tightens her grip on the steering wheel: “They were!” she insists, “At least until they became trendy.”

"Right." You laugh because you're not going to upset her when she has the most adorable pout on her face.

You spend the short trip listening to the most unknown Queen songs that Shauna's CD brings together – these are the good ones! – and for what seems like the first time, you and her actually talk and the happiness you feel is greater than you could have imagined. When the road comes to an end, Shauna seems extremely disappointed at having to leave you and you try not to think too much about what that means.

This small event seems to turn a key in your relationship and you and Shauna seem to get closer all of a sudden, not that you're complaining.

She takes on the responsibility of being your personal chauffeur after school, taking you from one place to another with no hesitation as if it had always been that way.

“What if that asshole forgets you again?” She asks with those sad eyes staring at you – that's another change, now she looks you in the eye! Which ends up not being so good when it comes to denying her things.

“Shauna, that asshole is my cousin.” You scold weakly.

"So?"

Well, you can't question that.

You show up to her training when you don't have to work and you don't miss the way she seems to brag about it to her teammates, which only makes you show up more and more, even though you know nothing about football; you study together in the library, even if you only share one class; you, her and Jackie walk together between classes in the hallways and even stand side by side waiting to leave when Jackie disappears with Jeff at some stupid party.

You learn new things about Shauna every day and reading her is better than any other book you've ever tried. At some point, in your head, 'Things to Adore About Shauna Shipman' becomes 'Things to Love About Shauna Shipman' and it feels right.

She likes practically any food that contains meat and puts barbecue sauce on absolutely everything, leaving you horrified when she does this to a steak that is bleeding from being so rare when you have lunch together; She likes the warm, expensive beer that Lottie Matthews serves at her parties, she doesn't like getting drunk, she likes the taste, Shauna is weird like that and you're even weirder for finding it endearing. Sometimes, when you're outside smoking with Natalie and her sad emo friend, Kevyn Tan, Shauna comes over with a cup of beer in her hand – just one, she insists, because she's going to drive later – and sits down next to you quietly with one hand casually placed on your thigh while enjoying the drink; she lets Jackie dress her for these same parties, but she always chooses a piece of clothing that stands out, usually one of her flannels, she seems to have thousands of them; Shauna likes to read, but she loves classics, 'real books' as she calls them, with long words and old vocabulary, the second you pay attention she talks about them for hours and hours. You learn to like it too and Shauna seems to completely melt when you're the one who makes a Virginia Woolf or Emily Brontë reference when you talk.

One day, the team practice happens earlier and Shauna apologizes profusely for not being able to leave you at work, you dismiss her worries with a quick hug before leaving – not noticing the way she freezes in her place – and Jeff quickly agrees to take you there, he won't admit he missed you, but you know he did.

Later, the bell on the store's door signals someone's entry and when you turn from your spot at the counter, Shauna is there.

You tend to serve some Yellowjackets quite often, mainly Misty Quigley buying cat food; sometimes Van and Tai buying food for the abandoned dogs near the trailer park, Mari buying a hamster every two weeks – you have no idea what she does to make them all die or run away so quickly –, Nat showing up simply to hangout and smoke from time to time. You get along relatively well with all of them, but Shauna had never appeared until now.

She's still in her blue and yellow uniform, hair pulled into a ponytail and face softly red. The sight makes your throat dry.

Shauna looks a little like a lost puppy when she comes up to you at the counter.

“Hey,” she mumbles.

“Hey,” you reply, a smile playing on your lips. And then, just because you can't resist: “Did you run here after practice just to see me?”

Shauna seems like a deer caught in the headlights, “No!” She denies it, as if she hadn't been caught doing just that, "I just realized I leave you here all the time and I've never been in the store before."

You don't say anything and she simply shrugs innocently before starting to circle the place and you watch her with an amused snort.

She's not a pet person, you might say, but she apparently finds a fascination in staring at the colorful fishes in the aquariums when you come from behind the counter to restock and organize missing items on nearby shelves.

It's a small store and it's a pretty slow day with just you and another employee working in the back, so you and Shauna get into a relaxed mood spending time together when she decides she's going to stay until your shift ends without saying anything.

The company is good. At some point you jokingly say that since Shauna is here she could help you move the food packets because they are too heavy for you and she just goes there and does it. The way she lifts a bunch at once makes your breath hitch and you want to run your hands over her flexed biceps and you notice how Shauna hides a smile, as if she knows.

After that it's like there's a very thin line waiting to be crossed between you. Maybe it's always been there and you never noticed.

There are things about Shauna, things you like to think she says or does only to you, that your brain catalogs more than others, especially in moments when you're alone, like now.

Things to love about Shauna Shipman, you think; the way she subtly gasps when you need to rest your hand on her waist to pass through the store's narrow aisles; the fake annoyed look she gives you when you say something so stupid you just know she's pretending not to like it; the way she ends up snoring with laughter and scaring a customer you were serving after something you said and then she refuses to talk to you for the next fifteen minutes – the long that she can – giving you a dirty look because It's your fault, dammit.

But Shauna doesn't leave, no matter how angry she claims to be with you.

Things to love about Shauna Shipman, you think again, when your shift is over and she simply grabs your hand and leads you to her car, stating, "Let's go get ice cream."

She hates her middle name as much as she hates cute nicknames – you think it's just because she doesn't have one – and she won't tell you what it is because she doesn't want you to use it on her one day; her favorite color is blue, dark blue, but she usually wears shades of red because she says the football uniform is enough; she marks her books with lots of post-it notes of different colors, to remember her favorite chapters, phrases and quotes and revisits them almost daily; she keeps a hand on you whenever you're near, on your shoulder, your hip, your thigh. One day you left her reach when she had an arm around you at a party to get more drinks and when you came back she asked what she had done wrong, looking at you with those sad brown eyes.

Shauna takes you out for ice cream even though it’s already dark, an anxious air hovering between you. She grabs your favorite flavor without you having to tell her which one it is and you sit on the hood of her car, shoulders brushing together.

“You…” Shauna starts hesitantly, eating the bitterest chocolate ice cream she could find, “Do you wanna come to my house?”

You've been to Shauna's house before, but only with Jackie and Jeff. Never alone. Is different. You both know it's different.

"Yes." You say, hoping you don’t sound as desperate as you are, “I’d really like that.”

The smile she gives you makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

You only have time to unbuckle your seatbelt when Shauna parks in front of the house before she's on top of you watching you with dark eyes.

“Are you just going to stand there and watch me?” You scoff with more confidence than you actually have, your hands finding her waist.

Shauna looks completely outraged and in a second her lips meet yours without permission just because she knows she doesn't have to ask.

Her mouth is still cold and slick against yours from the ice cream, but her entire body is hot as dough ready to be molded in your hands. She wraps her arms around your neck, hands pulling your hair tightly and you feel her smile against your lips when she hears your low moan.

“Is that enough action for you?” Shauna asks mockingly, breathing fast, her practice uniform clinging to her body.

“Hm-hm,” you deny, a drunken, passionate smile painting your face, “Not as much as I’d like.”

Shauna looks like she wants to reply to what you've said, but then you're leaning in again, lips meeting hers with more urgency, tongue pleading for passage at the seam of her mouth, and it's all heat and electricity as she pulls you against her body. Your hands separate her t-shirt from the uniform shorts quickly and slide underneath it, short nails scraping the happy trail softly across her toned stomach and Shauna whines.

You can't help but break the kiss, Shauna follows your lips with a needy expression.

"What?" She asks, frustration bordering on her voice.

You shake your head and bite your bottom lip, “It’s really good,” you say. Shauna arches an eyebrow. "It's perfect. Touching you– it’s perfect.”

The way her hips thrust into yours and her face turned completely red tells you that she liked what you said a little too much.

And then Shauna is opening the car door, hurriedly sliding out and pulling you with her, mumbling an anxious “let’s go” as you stumble your way into the house.

You laugh when she fumbles with the key in the lock and she gives you an annoyed look, cutting off your laughter when the door opens and she presses you against it, pupils completely dilated, hands shaking to touch you.

It occurs to you then that maybe Shauna was just as obsessed with you as you were with her.

She looks at you, big brown eyes needy and asking and you don't hesitate to kiss her again and it's all heat and skin and it's right.

Another thing to love about Shauna Shipman: the way she gasps in surprise and pleasure when you turn her around and press her against the door.

[sadesluvr]

Hiii!! When you feel like it could you write some michael afton relationship hc's? Would be nice to have him back a little🤗 Have a great day or night whenever you're reading this and take your time🫶

A/N: TYYY Nonnie for this sweet ask, I really do miss him :') This ask made me so nostalgic for TNP....Love you and thanks for the kind message!!🥰

Some of these are fem! Reader coded, but mostly gender neutral. One mention of drug (weed) use. Based in the 80’s, like game lore:

When you first start dating, he hides you from his family, only ever telling Henry about you. He hates his dad, and although he isn’t ashamed of you he doesn’t want to show you off to Elizabeth and Evan just in case they get too attached (mommy issues…)

Tells Henry everything - the good, the bad (his worries, not yours), the in between…He’s basically Mike’s advisor at this point and poor Henry is clueless

Michael is definitely hot headed and arrogant at times, so he’s going to flaunt you around school (insecurities be damned).

LOVES walking/biking with you EVERYWHERE, and often gets lost whilst spending time with you. He once forgot to open the front door (he wasn’t even HOME) from Liz and Evan when they came off the schoolbus….Not a great day in the Afton household after that

Doodling on your skin with his pens, pretending to tatt you up

Doodling on EVERYTHING you own, and zoning out in class whilst he draws you on his assignments

Doesn’t have a lot of money, but is very scrappy and can still show you a good time on dates. He might be banned from certain outlets, but it's worth it

Makes the most of carnivals/fairs!! They’re cheap and once he’s taken his siblings (if Henry hasn’t already), will treat you. He’ll pay for all the rides, wins you toys and buys you food :3

Sneaking out to meet him, or him coming through your window because your parents “don’t agree” with his lifestyle. Those are the times he wants to spend the night, just laying with you on your bed until you fall asleep. He can’t stay because his siblings need him :’( 

Isn’t the greatest at physical affection, but lets his guard down when he’s high. It’s then when he’s at his most vulnerable (he sometimes cries) and is open for a cuddle

Can be a bit of a perv, especially when sneaking through your window or being alone in a car, but it’s all funny. He’ll never force you to do anything, but he’ll make a lot of dirty jokes and innuendos

Sharing his Walkman with you is his ultimate act of love. Don’t take it lightly

IMPROMPTU KARAOKE SESSIONS

SO protective of you, it’s insane. He’s gotten into verbal and physical fights with anyone disrespects you, and detentions won’t stop him

Patching up his wounds, either from the fights he’s gotten into or just general reckless shit. He pretends that he’s a tough guy but he really isn’t

He lets you experiment with his hair - just as long as you don’t shave it all off. He may never forgive you....

Exploiting the pizzeria’s benefits, whenever and wherever he can. He’ll spend hours trying to impress you in the arcade (free tokens), and gives you unlimited pizza as long as his dad doesn’t clock on

Feeling like a tiny family if and when he decides to introduce you to Elizabeth and Evan. Whether you last as a couple or not, you make them all happy and he doesn’t want to lose that

[reidsdaisies]

do you have any weird headcanons for the team that in your mind are canon? like in my mind hotch is great at wii sports, while elle kills it at just dance. Gideon secretly likes romantic movies because they remind him there is still good in the world and garcia listens to heavy metall while hacking into high security systems

ok, so I don’t think these are weird, but i’ll try to give a couple for my favs. and btw yes I def agree with the plant one 😭 spencer can not keep a plant alive for more than a week..

emily:

- we know she’s a cat mom! sergio def sleeps with her in her bed <3

- so, I haven’t been able to watch the new season yet, so I don’t know the context of the smoking, but I’m saying she’s an occasional smoker. only when she’s dealing with an extremely tough case or a team (family) member is in bad condition, she’ll take a minute or two to smoke a cig. she knows it’s bad for your health, yet she still has trusts herself to indulge just every once in a while.

- huge Disney fanatic! her and penelope watch them together, she prefers the classics

penelope:

- squishmallow owner <3 mb me projecting cause she and i both like cute things and i love squishmallows, but she definitely has some cluttering her bed! and she’s kept her old stuffed animals from childhood, they hold so much sentimental value, especially ones bought by her parents

- she likes to sew and has gotten very good at it, so makes some of her clothes herself when she can’t find exactly what she’s envisioning. she also makes clothes for jack, henry, micheal, and hank

- she blogs like all of us and this was confirmed by a line she says in the show about how she “needs to blog about this”. she shares recipes with followers and progress on her sewing projects, along with blogging about her other interests like the shows she likes and all that good stuff.

- refuses to watch scary movies with emily because she knows she’ll just pick clown movies to mess with her

- stress baker (confirmed). one negative thought will pop up in her head and the next day she’s coming into work with 2 containers worth of pink frosted choco cupcakes

spencer:

- he memorizes a whole variety of facts on each of his friends favorite topics / their interests, things to work into conversations when they are feeling down and he can talk about those things in hopes of cheering them up

- when he buys a new book, sometimes if it’s something really interesting he’ll decide he wants to annotate it. he likes adding more notes as he rereads.

- he is so excited when people ask him for recommendations and takes it very seriously, thinking out exactly what they’d like. he is over the moon if they’d like to read a book that he has annotated! he begs them to share their thoughts on it.

- reid knew the basics of cooking, enough to get and his mother by as a child, and for when he didn’t have time for takeout but was starving. one day garcia and rossi took it upon themselves to give him some lessons, and though he’s not the best, he no longer burns his food (or hands when he underestimated how hot something would be) or lazily throws it in the microwave, he actually takes the time to treat himself to what he deserves - a nice home cooked meal, even if that home cooking is his own.

jj:

- she’s really good at cards and board games.. just not when spencer is playing

- her favorite flavor of cheetos are jalapeño and the original ones. sometimes emily snatches a few when she’s eating spicier ones.

- snack packer. she always has snacks on her person. she’s the type to remind spencer to eat some actual food and not just run on caffeine, and lend her teammates some crackers/cheetos/berries/a granola bar when the don’t have time/forget to eat.

- i feel like she’s a good organizer. she can get people in order and also she keeps her stuff organized so she can find everything easily and it’s more aesthetically pleasing

- shares clothes with emily. not taking no for an answer - it’s true and most definitely canon. also emily is the one person in the world who she opens up to about anything and everything. she trusts the other team members so much, but her friendship with emily is something special. platonic jemily is still jemily and any jemily is good jemily ♡︎

[sangfielle]

Nadeem's Big Febuary 2024 Next Fest Roundup

I've done these little demo roundups for the past couple of nextfests in a more informal capacity, but I wanted to make this one more of an actual Thing and do something like this going forward, since I tend to play around 70-100 of the demos for each nextfest. This is going to be (hopefully) mostly a list of recommendations, but I also have some ones that I'm not strictly recommending that I think are still worth pointing out. I have over 20 games I wanted to point out from this round of demos, so the meat of this post will be below the cut.

The Best

Cryptmaster is a dungeon crawler typing game. It's genuinely laugh out loud funny, and it was a blast to play through with a person looking over my shoulder and commentating. There's not much to say about it that can't be figured out by picking up the game for a few minutes yourself, and there's no reason not to when it's got a free demo. I would recommend this game to basically anyone, and will be playing it as soon as it comes out. Probably the most across the board appealing game that I played from this collection.

Gatekeeper is just plain good. This was the most immediately fun game I played for this. I grow more and more irritated with rogue-lites every next fest, but Gatekeeper is fresh, fun, and fast-paced enough to get away from any distaste for the subgenre I have. Like basically all of the other optional multiplayer games on this list, GK seems to heavily benefit from a second player, but after my friend kept eating shit and dying I still had a fantastic time with this game by myself. Buy this game.

I don't play as many rhythm games as I do a lot of other genres, so if I'm totally wrong and this is just standard fare slop, you'll have to excuse me, but to my mind ADEN is a very unique and fun experience. A sidescroller rhythm/beat-em-up/bullet hell with charming art and fun music, it feels unlike basically anything I've played before, and it's wormed its way into my heart very quickly (even if I'm not quite as good at any of those types of games as I'd like to be).

The Pretty Good

Rotwood is a co-op roguelike game that's a lot of fun to play with friends. While technically 1-to-4 players, it feels like it's definitely meant to be played with at least a second party. If you do have that second party, the game goes by quickly and feels great to play - our 20 minute runs didn't feel like more than 5 minutes during our time with it. Pick it up if you want a non-PvP co-op game, but make sure at least one of your friends is picking it up too.

Cabernet is a narrative RPG set in eastern Europe in the late 1800s. You're Liza, a newly-turned vampire and a prospective doctor before your death. You don't actually get much more than that in the demo, but it gives you enough time to decide if you're interested in the full game or not. I am - it seems neat, and I'll likely be picking it up upon release, but it's not going to be for everyone. If you're into games where the meat of it is walking around and talking to people, it'll likely be a safe choice for you.

Vellum is a charming, if a little janky, co-op action roguelike where you play as fountain pens who are also wizards. As loathe as I am to compare games to others if they aren't ripoffs, it reminded me of playing Tiny Tina's, which I wasn't expecting, but made it more endearing to me. It seems like it would be less fun to play alone, but like Rotwood, just make sure you're making one of your friends grab it when you do, and it should be a lot of fun.

Dungeonborne is a game that speaks for itself very immediately when you start playing. PvPvE dungeon crawlers aren't the most popular genre, to my knowledge, but this game felt very oddly similar to another PvPvE dungeon crawler that was on display 1 or 2 next fests ago. If you and your friends want to dick around in a dungeon and kill skeletons, this is going to be a game that satisfies, and it's funny to play when you're getting yourself and your friends killed. I don't know how much long term value it'll manage to hold.

Children of the Sun is a very stylish puzzle-shooter that is not for me, but will probably be very good to whoever it is for. I would suggest trying out the demo and seeing how you feel about it. I don't have a lot to say about it beyond that, since it isn't a game I spent a lot of time with, beyond that it's very cool looking.

There is a notable absence of platformers & metroidvanias on my list of games that I played for this next fest, and it's not because there weren't any to play. I'm just very very bad at these games, moreso than any other type of game by a huge margin, and so I do not play them. Ever. There are ones I want to play quite badly, but I pick them up and put them down very quickly because I am worse at them than your average eight year old with an Xbox. I downloaded Tales of Kenzera: ZAU at the behest of a friend without knowing anything about it, and I'm glad I did. Even being as bad at this type of game as I am, I played this demo and had a lot of fun with it. I won't pick up the full game, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. If you're anyone who has a less tragic experience with the genres than I do, you should definitely try this game out.

Love In a Bottle is a refreshing change of pace as far as romance VNs go - there are vanishingly few of them for/about lesbians and bisexual women compared to games for & about straight women & games about gay men (though these are usually also for straight women... which is not the point of this, so I digress). It's very cute! LIaB follows an only-kind-of-succubus as she moves to a new town and flirts with attractive women. I'm not quite the target audience for this, but not every game needs to be for me, and I enjoyed poking around in it regardless.

Alcyone: The Last City is a game that's hard to get much of a handle on from the very short demo alone, but you get just enough to know it's interesting. What I can glean from the game that you get in the demo is about the same as the steam description: a sci-fi interactive novel set at the end of the universe. I love this kind of shit, so I'm pretty sure I'll like Alcyone.

Pacific Drive is a game about driving your car around while some weird shit happens. That's not a dismissive summary, I'm just not sure how else to categorize it. It seems cool if you like this type of game! Unfortunately my distaste for the wretched automobile extends to video games, so this is not quite my speed, but it seems very charming.

TRIBES 3: Rivals is a PvP FPS game that seems like a lot of fun! There's just one problem with it - this type of multiplayer game isn't in the limelight anymore, and won't attract a lot of players who aren't tryharding. I don't like tryharding in multiplayer games, but it felt good enough to play that I'm willing to give it a shot regardless. I'm worried about Tribes 3's ability to survive longterm in this era of gaming, but I'm holding out at least a little hope for it. I think you should help give it a better chance of survival.

TOUCHSTARVED is a "dark romance visual novel" with five romanceable characters that look like they've either come from Dragon Age concept art or from someone's D&D campaign. If you're not into romance VNs, this game will not be for you. If you are, and you're either attracted to men or like to play romance games with them, this one feels actually better than a lot of them. The worldbuilding, though somewhat sparse in the demo, seems interesting, and the game is weirdly actually gay for a VN where the protagonist doesn't have a set gender. There are no women who are characters in this game. That's not surprising, it's just worth noting. Its dialogue is corny and the way the romanceable characters act irritating, but that's par for the course for the genre, so it's probably not going to be a dealbreaker for you if you're already playing this type of game. I'd say give it a shot if that's already the kind of game you're into, otherwise it's really not worth looking at. I doubt this game is going to win over any new fans to the genre.

The Otherwise Noteworthy

Islands of Insight is... A puzzle MMO with very bad puzzles and similarly bad online play. I don't understand why it exists. I don't understand the type of person who they think will play this. I don't understand why it's a MMO? There's no aspect of the puzzles that I saw that would be served by multiplayer, and the multiplayer functionality is so limited as to be worthless anyway. The most possible interaction you can have with another person is following them around and emoting at them while they do their own set of puzzles. This game is obviously fated to die in obscurity. Why is it a Behaviour game?

Case Files: Behind Closed Doors was the only actual FMV game that this next fest had to offer. The FMV tag is the first section of any given next fest that I look at - I'm a big fan of them, and I think they're really underappreciated, especially in today's gaming world. As a consequence, I'm normally much nicer to them than I am to most video games, but this one fell flat on its face for me. There doesn't feel like there's anything there to actually grab the player or to keep their attention, and I found myself bored with it very quickly. It doesn't help that I get more irritated with the inundation of cop games as opposed to literally anything else in the world of FMV games as time goes on, but I think even if I wasn't sick and tired of them, this game wouldn't feel worth the time it asks you to invest. It's a damn shame.

#BLUD is a game that I wanted to check out, but didn't get to actually play, because I didn't realize this demo was going to shut down after nextfest! That's on me. It seems cool, and I'll be checking it out once it's properly available, but I can't say more than that because I missed the window to play it :(.

Longstory 2, similarly, is a VN I couldn't actually play during this fest, but this one isn't my fault - despite steam having a page for the demo, it wasn't ever actually available? This one is just going on the list because I loved the original Longstory when I was 15. I'm excited for the reminder that it exists, and I'll be going back to the original to see if it holds up to my nostalgia. If it does, I'll be picking up the sequel for sure.

Bewitching Sinners is a trashy romantasy VN. There's not that much else to it. If you like trashy romance VNs, it'll be for you, and if you're not, it won't be. It gets a place on this list because there were a lot of VN demos that I opened and then very quickly closed, and I actually played all the way through this one, so it's a cut above the rest in at least its ability to keep the player from immediately ducking out of due to the evidently garbage writing.

Diets & Deities is noteworthy only in that it's the most blatant ripoff of Everhood that I've seen. It's also a significant downgrade. I like the gameplay of Everhood a lot, and I was hoping that even if this game was a ripoff, it would give me more of the same. I wouldn't love it if it did that, but I would have had a little bit of fun with the demo. It's not more of the same. It feels way worse to play, and I don't know why, but I hate it.

Meta-Ghost: The Breaking Show is all style & no substance. It's very good looking, but it offers little beyond graphics that you couldn't get in a less tired package elsewhere (read: in Hades. This game wants to be Hades so bad it overwhelms any other personality it could possibly hope to have). Similarly to Diets & Deities, it fails to improve on the game it's aping's gameplay & feeling & instead makes it worse, though not to the extreme that D&D does. The only real value I can see in this game that you couldn't get with another game is the multiplayer gimmick, but as that wasn't available in the demo, I can't say whether that makes it worth even taking a second glance at.

Serum is a survival horror adventure game that seems really cool, except it's completely fucking unplayable from how shitty the framerate is. I'd love to recommend it, because I really am interested in this game, but it is in desperate need of some fixes before I can play it, much less tell you to buy it.

Mouthwashing is also a horror game that I hesitate to recommend, but it is at least playable. The demo just shows so little of its hand that I can't even tell if it's worth playing. It clocks in at about a 20 minute runtime, and in those 20 minutes, zero things that were scary or even mildly unsettling happened. It showed a little bit of gore at the end? But that's not really much of anything. I'll be keeping an eye on its development, but I have no idea whether it'll release as a gem of the indie horror scene or as a wet fart.

You can kill me for how many VNs I've put on this list and how many I've enjoyed. Beat me, take my blood, whatever. Glam Pursuit is a game about becoming a star in a not-Hollywood fake setting. The dialogue feels like it was ripped out of Life is Strange, it's corny beyond measure, and it's just all around not very good. However... Something about it captivates me. Sifting through the extreme amount of subtitle errors and typos in this game and the painfully awkward interactions with all the characters around you, I feel like there's something of worth to be found, even if I didn't stumble upon it in the demo. Is it going to be worth it for you to pick up this game? I don't know. Do you like eating garbage if it's shiny? I do. I'll play Glam Pursuit when it comes out. I don't know if you should unless there's something wrong with you.

[hillbillyoracle]

Pen and Paper Planning

Maybe you like me are endlessly drawn back to pen and paper. I have often felt more at home in a good notebook. For a long time I thought there just weren't many options for notebook systems in comparison to "productivity" apps but over the years I've collected a number of them that I pull inspiration from for my own system. I've been told my little compilations are helpful so I thought I'd share what I've found here with some notes about each.

Bullet Journal

The OG. I think bujo has gotten a bad rap by people who've only every interacted with it via aesthetic routes like instagram. I found out not to long ago that there are people who don't know what the original system entails at all so I thought it was worth mentioning here.

Check it out here.

I recommend it less as a "productivity" system and more as a style of rapid/micro journaling. Does journaling feel like it takes forever and just isn't worth it - this is the system for you. When you go into it with that mindset, it's a lot easier to get the benefits. Wouldn't really recommend it for full blown tasks management and planning but the creator is upfront he never really intended it for that.

Everbook

This is more of a folio style as opposed to a notebook system but I think there are aspects that translate nicely to notebooks. It's definitely more of a productivity system too - very GTD influenced according to it's creator. I like it for it's modular approach to tasks, inspiration, and tracking.

Check it out here.

I recommend this if you like multi-notebook systems and are focused on getting tasks done more so than reflection/introspection.

Analog by Ugmonk

Basically a glorified notecard but this one has been a real game changer for me with regard to my daily tasks. I keep my today card clipped to the cover of my journal. You don't need to buy their fancy system for it at all and lots of people have hacks of it. Easy to combine with 1-3-5 Lists and the Bento Method as well.

Check it out here.

I recommend it for people who prefer a more flexible way of planning their days than what traditional planners offer.

Strikethru

I've not gotten to try many aspects of Strikethru yet but there are some I'm definitely looking to incorporate in another journal. Strikethru is a much more task oriented system than a bullet journal. It features a "live list", "dump" "vault" and calendar. I think it best replicates what you do what many to-do apps. They have their own journal you can buy but it can be set up in your own notebook.

Check it out here.

I recommend this for people who are doing large projects with lots of moving parts.

Theme System by CPG Grey

I love CPG Grey's ideas about yearly and seasonal themes. He created a notebook to compliment those ideas. It basically is composed of a section on fleshing out your themes, daily reflection pages, and habit tracking. I like the light direction while still being freeform enough for most goals.

Check it out here.

And here.

I recommend it for people who's primary use case is self improvement oriented. If you're looking to move the needle forward in some area of your life, themes are a great way to start.

Commonplace Book

I think the best way to think of a Commonplace Book is that it's a sketchbook for ideas. I think too often with digital systems it's easy to get caught up in worrying about capturing all of our ideas or optimizing them to be found again - which only really adds stress and unnecessary complexity. What I like about a commonplace book is not only it's usage throughout history but it's simplicity.

Check it out here.

And here.

I recommend this for people who are looking to do a lot of creative or intellectual work and don't want to get distracted by screens to capture what inspires and moves them. Also for people who prefer to refer to their inspiration in a more tactile way.

Maurice Moves' Notebook

When I first found this method, it had very few views. When I went to look it up again, it had taken off. I'm so glad because it feels like an underrated system that can be easily paired with some of the other. It's basically a series of pages he uses to work through goals or just directions he wants to move in life. I've never see a system that's both so orderly and thorough. I especially appreciate is way of working backwards from his desired results to develop his plan.

Check it out here.

I recommend this for people who are trying to achieve big things but aren't totally sure how to get here. Seems very neurodivergent friendly too depending on what you personally excel with.

1-3-5 Lists

I first learned about a similar concept from Esme Weijun Wang's ebook "Productivity Journaling with Limitations" but I can't seem to find it on her website anymore. This website has one version of it but the version I've been using is slightly different.

The first task is my "win the day task" - if I only do this it was a productive day. It's achievable based on the resources I have that day. On low energy days , the task might be a simple chore like laundry or a health activity like walking. On a high energy day, it's usually something that moves me forward in some way - tackling projects like redoing my room or organizing all of our papers. Most days are inbetween though.

The next three have historically been "to not cause myself further trouble" tasks but I've been experimenting with making them one home/work task, one health task, and one relationships task as mentioned in this Ali Abdaal video (in Part 3).

The next five to six tasks are usually just easy wins - things I can get to if I feel like it but I feel no pressure to complete.

I recommend this system for people who are working with variable energy, health, time, or other resources. I could see it being helpful for folks with children or who are caregivers as well. I've found it useful as someone with chronic illness.

Sorry this section is a bit of a mess, when I originally put it on here I thought I could just link to Wang's ebook but alas. If anyone has the link, please drop it in comments.

Bento Methodology

This is another one that can be paired with another system. While the video I link to is talking about it in terms of an app, I think it's similar to the 1-3-5 system in that you can just use it inside of any other to-do list or task system you might be using. I appreciate it's nudge to do deep work and it's clear criteria for each compartment. I use this when I have more energy and want to use it to the best effect. Whenever I use it I always feel like I had a really meaningful day in terms of my efforts.

Check it out here.

I recommend this for people who want some structure to their day but still want flexibility from day to day to pick what they work on.

And I think that's most of them. I hope something here inspires you to pick up a notebook and get to writing. Best wishes!

[jayextee]

Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap

(including Dragon's Curse/Adventure Island)

So, apart from the Brazilian release Turma da Mônica em: O Resgate, I believe I've played through every version of this game now. Spoilers, they're all 5/5 bangers.

In essence, one of the OG MetroidVania games before the genre was codified, in its year of release 1989 this was absolutely amazing and truly made me have no regrets growing up as a SEGA kid. I believe I've waxed lyrical in my review of the 2017 remake, so I won't gush too much. Heh. So instead, some notes about the three main versions before that.

The original Master System version needs no introduction. It's a solid romp, probably the best game for the system. Looks great, sounds great (with PSG or FM sound!), and is a nice 2-3 hour distraction when I need it. No notes.

The PC Engine version, known either as Dragon's Curse or Adventure Island (confusingly, given the series' spaghetti-ball of a lineage) is a fair enough game. Because it's the Master System version. Kinda. Apart from some changes to Lizard and Piranha Man, plus Lion Man being replaced with Tiger Man, you'd be hard-pressed to see any difference between the two outside maybe one or two recoloured skies. But I assure you, there's more shading on almost every visual element here.

This may sound like a diss, but despite it not really 'feeling' like PC Engine fare it's still good. It does run at a full 60fps though; double the other two versions here.

My initial impressions of the Game Gear version were basically to the tune of 'oh dear, oh dear me'. I wasn't impressed. Rather than redraw a whole game's worth of assets to compensate for the smaller screen real-estate, the game is instead crunched to a tiny space with simplified layouts in places. Combat is tougher as a result of the reduced visibility, but it's nothing that can't be adapted to. Oh, but I'd have killed for a camera that looks ahead in the player's facing direction. Alas.

However, as I played further, stubbornly due to my want to play all the versions of this childhood favourite, I started to notice changes that really improved things on a fundamental level.

For starters, the 'charm point' system is gone (buy what you want, when you want! As long as you've got the rubies, uh, coins), as with the 2017 remake. Unlike that version, however, the charm stones have been replaced with teleportation gems that serve to return the player to the main village on use. And there's plenty of them; perhaps a quality-of-life measure with the Game Gear's poor battery life in mind? Either way, it's welcome -- even if the lack of 'home' doors post-boss was initially sorta confusing.

But. Also. Due to the game essentially having a small-scale redesign to accommodate the crunched screen, certain areas have a particular new 'flavour' to them. It's now impossible to accidentally stumble into the lava canyon area before you've access to Piranha Man's swimming now, for example. There are a few interesting screens in the final dungeon as well, and the pyramid's key is now in the sphinx at its far side. Et cetera, and so on, and so forth.

Actually that made this version totally worth playing through, and I think it remiss to not have paid homage to some of the changes in the 2017 version. Ah well. Had it a look-ahead camera I'd actually call this tiny handheld version the definitive one of the pre-remake versions. But it's not to be.

Either way, I told ya. Three absolute banger versions of a great game.

5/5

[was-it-really-worth-it]

Game 258 - Just Dance 2023 / 2024 by Ubisoft

Inexplicably, this game does not let you screenshot it - so I've cobbled my screens together from a variety of YouTube videos. I'm playing on Nintendo Switch because the idea of dancing with my highly throwable phone in my hand gives me the terrors.

What did I think it was at first? I've been trying to get more physically active this year since I'm 30 now and I feel my body slowly dying. I started the year playing Ring Fit Adventure but wanted something to break it up a little bit since the levels and exercises were getting a little stale. I was in high school when the Wii was popular and spent a lot of time with my theater buddies playing Just Dance of various types at people's houses, so when I saw it on sale I figured it was 20 dollars why not try it.

How was the character creator? You have a little "dance card" that serves as your profile. You can choose your titles (gender neutral ones too! you can be an It Enby!), a cartoon, the background, a frame, and effects for each time you score. The characters are all the same paper-white color but have diverse facial features and general styles.

How was the game? Setup was a little convoluted (you have to have an app on your phone even if you're playing on Switch and you don't need your phone to control the game) but once I got it up and running I was away!

The basic premise is that you replicate the choreo on the screen and the remote tracks your movements. These choreography videos have become much more elaborate since I was young! They're super colorful and bright and fun. There's also a TON of songs available, including many from the older games. Everything is marked for difficulty but I find their rankings to be a little hit and miss.

Dancing more unlocks more customization options for your card and also you get to dance more. I think I like that there don't seem to be any songs behind unlocking other songs.

I've played with my husband several times and it's fun. I've played alone and it's fun. I don't see why I would want to play online?

Have been enjoying shaking the demons out of my body with Lady Gaga dances and kpop. One of these days I'll earn superstar on How You LIke That!

What did I not love? There's a few quibbles I have:

The game has a huge song library but is barren as far as features. There's no way toc reate a playlist or mark aongs as favorites which makes it a pain to keep a workout flowing - and the predictive algorithm which recommends new songs after finishing one doesn't seem to have a good handle on my taste. Anyone playing with you can't set their own name card or do their own profile which is annoying.

I also really hate the games as streaming model? I bought 2024 first which has a lot of songs I like, and then I bought 2023 to get the Taylor Swift song and Telephone my god I love Telephone. Buuuuuuut if you want the whole library you have to pay monthly. This has the bonus of making me work out but I think I've missed some great tracks due to overwhelm. I would have liked to buy "track packs" of a certain artist or style of dance - then my library doesn't get bloated, I can keep the game fresher for longer, and Ubisoft probably gets more of my money.

I also do NOT understand why this game wants me to be on the FLOOR so MUCH my joints do not like it I wish I could filter out moves or sub them for versions where I don’t get on the floor even if the dancer isn’t doing the same thing my KNEES humbly beg you

At 11.5 hours and $50 plus $3/month subscription, was it really worth it? It's helping me keep my workout routine pretty fresh. Dancing makes my body feel good and I've lost 10 pounds with this and calorie tracking which is nice? It can be very physically tough at times though. If you're on the fence, try the demo. I definitely wouldn't get it on any platform besides Nintendo Switch though.

This is really fun and dancing with my husband is one of my favorite parts of my day when it happens.

[0-iz]

Guide to getting into roller derby (uk edition)

I'm saying this is uk based because that's the experience I've had - I've played with two teams in the UK and been involved in derby since about 2019!

1. getting kitted up

derby kit is sooo fucking expensive. there are a lot of secondhand derby kit groups out there, though - uk people i can recommend the facebook group roller derby recyclables ♻️ !! facebook buy sell groups, facebook marketplace ads, and setting up ebay alerts will all help you out though. You will need to get a custom mouthguard - i recommend the SISU ones that are used by nearly all derby players - they are mountains more comfortable than most mouthguards. You'll probably want a pair of reidell r3s (THE starter derby skate) at some point but any pair of quad skates will get you started, so dont worry about this for now if you already have some. It's also worth contacting the derby team you're looking to join and asking if they have spare kit they loan out! Lots of groups do, and it can really help you out in the beginning.

2. being able to skate is an advantage, but not a necessity.

I came to derby from a rollerblading background - i'd been street skating and doing a bit of skatepark skating for about 5 years prior to starting derby. While quads and rollerblades are very different in terms of balance, they definitely have transferable skills and being able to stop, do little curb jumps, skate backwards (ish) etc on rollerblades set me up with enough basic skills to focus on really skilling up during rookie practice. Plenty of people do come to derby being unable to skate - but i would say you are more likely to have a good time and stick with it if you already know you can go and stop.

3. roller derby is dangerous and serious injuries are common

If you often write someone to be your emergency contact who you know isnt great at answering their phone, or you dont really know that well anymore, or doesn't know you play derby etc - DO NOT do that for roller derby - there is a very very real possibility of that person being called. If putting down a family member or partner isn't an option for you, nominate a friend or even a colleague or other trusted adult in your life.

Be very aware that you can be critically injured playing derby. If you rely on your physical fitness in order to do your job, if your physical health is already impaired due to a preexisting condition, or so on - i'm not saying you absolutely should not play derby, but it definitely requires some extra considerations.

4. Go to games

Find out about what teams are local to you and show up to games! Getting tickets to see your local roller derby teams is the best way you can support the sport, as well as pick up on how the game is played and learn some tips.

5. do you have a local group?

Especially in the uk, our derby groups got hit hard by covid and some have not survived. it's likely your nearest group is in your nearest major city - so depending on where you live that could be a long way away from you. Often groups are in leisure centers and sports halls out of town and not super accessible by public transport. Being able to drive is definitely an advantage.

[lordfrezon]

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

10/10

There’s a million things I can say about this game, and they’re all good.

But if you need a single reason why this game rocks, it’s because it lets the player have as much fun as they can.

TotK, like BotW before it, gives the player a massive array of tools and ways to interact with the game.  You have weapons and armor, sure, but you also have an array of powers that let you move and change the game world in different cool ways.  But the obvious stand out here is the Zonai Devices, a ton of physics devices that the game lets you craft into weapons, vehicles, utility devices, and much more.  If you’ve seen anything about the game, you’ve definitely seen some of the War Crime Machines people have made, and those are great, but you can also make efficient hovercraft, boxes that let you jump higher, and much more.  Plus, one of your powers lets you replicate devices you’ve made in the past, so you can always have your favorites close at hand.  And if you don’t have the exact parts, the power replicates them using a rather common resource.

The world you interact with remains absolutely fantastic.  A massive open world featuring all sorts of enemies, locations, treasures, and everything else you’d want to find in a RPG.  Like its predecessor, like Skyrim, like Elden Ring, you always want to be exploring so you can find that next new thing.  Whether it’s a new armor piece, a stronger weapon, or just more crafting materials, there’s always something to find and always something worth discovering.

There’s also a story here, far more visible and present in the game than that of BotW.  No spoilers here, but there’s a lot of excellent setups and payoffs, and everything that happens in the game is contextualized through various cutscenes and dialogue options.  While some of it might get repetitive, it’s still solid, and the characters don’t overstay their welcomes. 

Two minor nitpicks have to be brought up.  The weapon durability and rain from BotW reappear, both doing their best to annoy the hell out of you.  While rain remains the most antagonistic feature to your exploration, TotK does a lot to make weapon durability mean something by including a very cool crafting system, where you combine materials you’ve found with your weapons to make them stronger.  It encourages seeking out different types of enemies to obtain different classes of weapon, and while there are a few clear superior options, there’s no real mistakes in how you can fuse your weapons either.  Was it worth having degrading weapons?  Probably not, but it’s defensible in ways that the system in BotW wasn’t. 

One last major gripe is that Nintendo is a garbage company when it comes to everything surrounding copyright, IP law, treatment of workers, basically everything that plagues capitalism, so I can’t recommend buying the game without caveats.  That said, if you’re a fan of a certain Japanese lemon (wink wink) the game runs perfectly well and costs much, much less. 

I put a ridiculous amount of time into this game, and found that none of it was wasted.  I would highly recommend it to pretty much anyone.

Now to be disappointed by Starfield.

[adultswim2021]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am (November 5, 2007)

November 5, 2007 saw the release of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am: a real-life video game based on television’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force. A golfing game with a few non-golfing interludes, such as fighting off familiar monsters on each course and some golf-cart racing. You interact with all kinds of characters from the show; a MONSTERS ROW if you will.

Reviews for the game itself are pretty poor, and I can’t really speak to that because I didn’t actually play this game. I watched a compilation of cut scenes and some game play footage. The cut scene compilation excludes some other material, namely the color commentary bits that play as each course loads. There’s a straight-laced “Commentator Guy” and the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future. Cybernetic Ghost’s lines are really funny. There’s also some mechanic where you collect footage that you can view from the menu screen but I didn’t successfully find it in any of the youtube videos I watched. I didn’t really look that hard, to be fair. And there was no way I was going to watch a 4-hour play through of this game.

The cut scenes roughly make up almost two episodes worth of content, and they are rendered in a mildly-off-putting computer-animated style, similar to the Drinky Crow show. It’s not ideal, but it suits the game fine, honestly.

And… that’s basically it. I’ll be honest, I was looking for some kind of wonderful reward for watching these cut scenes; like a truly notable nugget or surprise. Like, a Space Ghost cameo would’ve been neat, or something like that. There were mildly interesting things, like the fact that Patton Oswalt seems to have returned to reprise his Frat Alien characters (their initial appearance sounds like they just repurposed old show audio, but unique dialogue began springing up). I could be missing a few things from not sitting through game-play footage, as there are characters who show up during game-play that don’t show up during the cut scenes. But man, am I glad that I didn’t buy this game back in 2007. Mostly because I wouldn't have anything to play it on.

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace #1: “Once upon a Beginning” (November 9, 2007 - 11:00PM)

In an earlier review of Saul of the Mole Men, I touched on the concept of the “fake show”. This would definitely qualify. Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace is an artificial rerun; a seemingly repackaged old series with new interview segments featuring the cast as well as it’s star and main creative driving force Garth Marenghi. Marenghi is a popular and prolific Stephen King styled author who briefly dabbled in television Despite the self-agrandizing claims that the show was too shocking or ahead of it’s time for 1980s television, what we see is actually quite shoddy and poor, laughably so. Sorta like a comic parody of a schlocky B-movie, presented by straight-faced actors who are, in turn, portrayed by very funny British people. Matthew Holness plays Garth Marenghi who plays Dr. Rick Dagless. His pal and series co-creator Richard Ayoade plays Dean Learner, who plays Thornton Reed. Dean Learner is Garth’s publisher in fake-real life, and is a particularly terrible actor on the series. Dean Learner actually got his own spin-off fake talk show, which I’ve never seen. Is it good?

There’s also Matt Berry, one of my favorite guys. This was my introduction to him. I mean, this was my introduction to all of these people. Even that broad. What's her deal anyway? Sorry for being sexist for knowing about the guys on the show and not the lady.

In 2009, Adult Swim would bring more British shows to the channel and attempt to launch a British comedy block. It didn’t last too long, but we got some great shows on American television at least. This one was pretty hard to come by at the time; I knew of people importing the region 2 DVD, and this was a godsend.

[not-close-to-straight]

I know you have a million and one Steddie ideas but I have to tell you one I just had!! Modern Steddie AU, Single Dad Steve with all of his adopted, traumatized children and their emotional support neighborhood Lesbian Aunt Robin gets suspicious when his kids start coming home talking about this after school D&D game they are now apart of run by a rockstar who pulls up to the school with an RV everyday, meet the GM. Eddie, both instasmitten!

NO

FUCK

STOP

I literally stopped writing Stony smexy times to answer this ask because my brain just:

LISTEN

LISTEN

Trust Fund Kid Steve living in (big city that's not hawkins) who doesn't actually have to work but he like.. runs basketball camps or something, coaches at one of the highschools, works at the city's parks and rec department, just something low key that he actually enjoys and would have given him a reason to even get involved in foster care/guardianship/adoption. Starts off taking in one kid in an emergency situation (Dustin), ends up looking into guardianship things or whatever and then HEY gets a second phone call about Will needing shelter. Then it's a pair of siblings, little sister's only ten does Steve have someone who can help him and he's like, yeah. My Local Lesbian best friend can definitely help.

Well then he needs a bigger house so he moves out of his fancy apartment and buys a house in the suburbs in a cul de sac with a big yard and puts in a basketball hoop.

Then it's another kid, a girl this time who doesn't even speak in full sentences and after her comes Max who speaks and sasses enough for EVERYONE. Mike who is the angriest out of the bunch but thaws a little when Steve pulls him aside with Dustin and is like "gotta do something with that hair dude"

And then there's just. So many of them. Steve parks his BMW semi permanently in the driveway and drives a big like ten seater van and hauls their dramatic asses all over the place constantly and everyone is like "uh yeah remember Steve Harrington? Super hot, super rich? Dude he's got like six kids? maybe eight kids FUCK.

Most of the kids get into highschool but a few are still junior high and now Steve has to wait a while before and after school to make sure all the schedules line up and sometimes ROBIN drives the van and all she does is curse and swear at the traffic and threaten the kids with soap if they repeat the words she says to Steve.

Highschool has been in session for three weeks the first time the boys come home shouting about the drama instructor/assistant band person EDDIE and then the next week they come home shouting LOUDER because Eddie also helps over see the DND club and they basically worship him. The girls don't see the appeal. Erica tolerates it with an interesting amount of enthusiasm and Steve makes a mental note to buy her some of the books/pieces/whatever for Christmas.

DND club runs late and Steve goes in looking for his kids and meets Eddie for the first time. Walks in the room in time to see Eddie explode into laughter over something that Will says and Steve immediately is smitten first because Will is so quiet that even his funny stuff rarely goes noticed, so that means Mr. Munson is specifically paying attention to him and that makes Steve happy. Steve is immediately smitten second because Eddie has a whole lotta hair and a whole lotta long legs and when he smiles his whole face scrunches up into dimples and like fuck okay. Having a literal baseball team worth of kids and a loveably neurotic cock block of a best friend makes time for romance SCARCE and Steve is suddenly remembering just how long it's been since he's been on a date.

Eddie looks up and is immediately smitten because well Hello Mr. Harrington, that polo looks GREAT on those shoulders and good gravy HAIR y'all. And then Eddie falls head over heels in love because he thought the kids had been teasing about "Dad Steve" who grumbles but always takes them for ice cream but like, no Steve is literally "come on kids, lets go, dinners at home, no ice cream you fucking gremlin, not until fridays, you know that, hey did you grab erica's books, she needs help with math, mike stop fussing your hair is fine, Will! Tell me about your character stats! Dustin! Stop purring it's fucking weird, did everyone tell Mr. Munson thank you for hosting" and the kids all turn around and go THANK YOU MR MUNSON and Steve grins and waves and winks and Eddie is 100% in love what the fuck.

Cue like-- Steve offering to host DND and then Eddie meets THE REST of the children. Eddie has to cancel one day to make costumes for this years production of robin hood and steve brings the whole goddamn gang and pizza and supplies to help so it goes faster. Drama club sleepovers at the huge house in the suburbs and after the kids have all passed out from sugar highs, Steve brings eddie a beer and says "you could stay tonight too. There isn't a spare bedroom open in the place but since the kids are sleeping in the basement you can definitely crash on the couch.

Eddie steps outside for a smoke

Steve follows.

Eddie doesn't spend that night on the couch but HEY he finds out exactly how comfortable steve's bed is and also how nice padded headboards are????

I LOVE IT.

It's going in the Idea Folder and if I ever get through my list to get this shit written it will be dedicated to YOU.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hey Kait, so what's your initial opinion on the Ssum? Personally I'm a bit underwhelmed by it, but it's not the fault of the game itself. It's just not my format tbh

I enjoy games with a definitive story and complex characters who get to interact with one another, and while it's highly possible there's more to the Ssum than meets the eye, I just do not find much joy in chatting with a single AI, even if Teo seems really realistic. Obey me is a good example, cause it has a ton of different features, but at the same time, it has many characters who each have a different story and share complex relationships with each other.

It's nice seeing everyone so excited and happy though :)

This is gonna be my thoughts so don't take it too seriously. It's just what I'm feeling right now. I'm happy if people are having fun and out here to explore a new game!

It's an overwhelming format with so much information thrown at you all at once that it makes it hard to understand what's going on and all the things that you need to do. It's not the kind of format I'm used to either, but I'm sure you could get used to it over time. You would just have to be committed to the process. But, it'd have to pull you in with a good hook. Is it doing that for me? No. It's not done it and I doubt it will.

I understand why Cheritz put in more ads and ways to pay for bonus content but I do not like the fact that you'll have to pay to download photos and other content when so much of that was free in Mystic Messenger. A lot of content in-game is clearly enhanced by the pay option and $19.99 a month isn't worth it in my eyes. It just puts this sour taste in my mouth about how the world shifted to "pay for little pieces of a game instead of paying a base price for everything."

I would rather pay Cheritz $50-100USD if need be for a full game to play if that's the case because $19.99 a month is $239.88USD a year. Who has that kind of money? For reference, I could literally buy the RFA Box, the Special Believer Box, and an emoji pillow for that price, including shipping.

Everyone has to get paid for working on a project like this, I am all for that, but at some point, certain options in F2P games wind up feeling predatory instead of straight-forward. Mystic Messenger has a great system for F2P. You pay to do chats faster, call without paying for the hourglass, and unlock cutesy bonus content. The SSUM has a lot of basic features with "buy more energy to get this!" You can feel that it isn't the same set-up.

Maybe I'm spoiled by Mystic Messenger in terms of what you can get for free but...

Hell, you can pay to get Dandelion and Nameless on Stream together for a decent price if you want to pay another Cheritz game without this money nonsense. If I am paying that much a freaking month to get content, I better be seeing Teo do all sorts of things for me all the time. I'd have to love Teo for that.

Teo has a personality that I'm not too sure about and I'm very picky about Otome characters. I need a hook to draw me in and he's not hit one immediately. I'm picky. I like a compelling universe where I have a cast of characters that I can find myself with and explore. Teo is one guy, and while he's got a mystery to unravel that I already have a lot of thoughts and theories on, I don't know if he'll be worth the effort to me at this point. That could change, though.

I play Obey Me and even though the Gacha system isn't the best for games, that one is very polite with you. It gives free pulls every one to two days, and there are means to unlock and get items without you having to pay unless you really want to do that. I feel like paying for content if it's an option shouldn't force you to pay for what should be standard. This is a problem with video games right now a lot so don't get me wrong, I'm not humming and hollering because The SSUM is doing this by itself.

I hate paying for DLCs and stuff in games that get patched in when I would happily wait a long time for a full game to come out. Like, ah, Sword and Shield for Pokemon, you have to pay for the Post-Game arc. You never had to do that before. You got it with the game and that was that. They held events to let you buy or pick up a code to get a legendary event, sure! But, that wasn't going to take away from the gameplay. It's just bonus.

I want people to get paid what they're due for making games but players shouldn't feel like they're being baited into paying for stuff. Video games are just different than they once were. It's a complicated thing and I don't really want discourse or debates right now since I'm just sharing my thoughts, lmao. So, I'll leave it at that.

I appreciate the interface, I like the art style and that the MC avatars in-game look so cute. There's potential in this game if you really want to look for it and find it. They put a lot of labor and time into this one game and I can appreciate that. It took a long time for a reason and I hope the mysteries of the game become unraveled soon.

I can't say I'll be super invested in The SSUM. I didn't think I'd be anyway, since the pay-to-play stuff didn't cut it for me. Teo just isn't a character that excites me. Who knows? He's just a guy. He might be your guy someday! He seems cute and cheeky. I'm just looking for a game with a lot of characters that I can love. Teo seems to be many characters in one but ah, I'll save those theories for later.

The one thing I can appreciate is that you can plug the RFA members into the game. [You can plug in everyone with a Route + Vanderwood, for some reason, Rika isn't an option.] I'll put my Ray, Unknown, and Saeran here.

Ray misses me, that's all I care about.

[sevarix-blogs]

var hiiii im trying to figure out whether i want to buy totk and fire emblem engage!! you've played both and i trust your taste (hehe), what are your overall impressions? :0

hiiii! :D

no prob! i am honored that you trust my taste! my impressions are under the cut (this could get long)

ok so i am not very far with totk yet, but so far i really like it! i think if you enjoyed botw you will definitely enjoy totk. if you did not like botw, i don't think you would enjoy totk. from what i can tell so far, it is basically like botw2 in the sense that it is like botw but improved and enhanced!

now for engage. my thoughts are more complicated here. bc i will be real with you, i thought the story was boring. it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great. at times it made me laugh when it was supposed to be serious. many moments made me cringe. i've heard others were very touched by the story but.... i thought it was incredibly cheesy at times. the final chapter was a huge letdown for me.

i enjoyed the gameplay though! i liked the skirmishes way more than the story battles. some days i'd just do a bunch of skirmishes and then stop playing, not even touching the main storyline lol. for this reason, i appreciate the battle tower thing.

there is also no ng+. this pained me greatly. if you have the dlc, you have to beat the dlc story every. single. game file. in order to get the dlc characters again. (i played the game 4 times through, twice with the dlc story).

using the rings is a lot of fun! like i said, the gameplay is fun, and i enjoyed it. weapons don't break. (staves do tho).

the classing system is a bit... meh. in order to qualify for a class, you have to inherit skills from the emblems (rings). and you use second seals/master seals like in previous installments. the classes overall are pretty nice! the dlc classes suck tho. like majorly.

the dlc emblems are really good tho, in case you are interested in the dlc. the dlc story absolutely sucked and was majorly disappointing. but the new characters are fun to use and the dlc emblems are a godsend.

speaking of the characters, they are hit or miss for me. i still am not a fan of the designs for many of them. many i feel very 'meh' about overall. some characters i outright despise. there are a few i genuinely like. there are also lots of child units. i am not a fan of child units (i am just not a fan of child characters in general)

supports are also meh. not very deep. some are outright cringe. a few are decent. they were still fun to watch. the supports with the emblems are incredibly short but they were fun in that our beloved characters from past games get to interact with the new characters.

overall, if you like FE games, i think it's worth playing. just don't keep your hopes up for a riveting story or characters you'll be a fan of for decades. it does its job in that it's fun, but it's nothing earth-shattering.

[scribbleboxfox]

Okay question

How the FUCK do you give rvb ocs armor

I made 3 rvb ocs completely on impulse inspired by TLRH and I'm in hell (Their names are Crusader, Viper and Bombastic btw). How do you do this /gen

Ok first of all you HAVE to tell me about your OC's sometime!! Second, this is gonna be a long-winded answer, so I apologize in advance lol.

From a Character Design Standpoint:

When I came up with the characters I made for TLRH, I had a general idea of what their personalities would be like, and used that as a reference point for what THEY should look like.

For example, I knew I wanted Fox to basically be Kimball's polar opposite in terms of personality and methodology. Kimball has a more "hearts and minds" philosophy (imo) and Fox has a more "shock and awe" philosophy. So I decided to give Fox armor that reflected their differences.

Fox's armor is dark and pointy. Kimball's is light and curved. Both of them have the light blue markings, however, because they both hold leadership positions.

You can kinda see the differences in this (very old) drawing of them together.

From a Technical Standpoint:

When coming up with armor, I'll usually just google "Halo 4 armor" or something similar and look for either official concept art or 3D turn-arounds of the models found in-game. The latter can generally be found on Artstation.

I also like to kitbash armor sets like so:

This was done by grabbing pieces of armor from this poster of all the Halo 4 armor and bashing them together until I got what I wanted. This was how I came up with the armor for both Fox and Sampson. (The only downside to this method is that it's limited to only Halo 4 armor and doesn't have the Prefect or ODST armor sets.)

Honestly the hardest part of figuring out what kind of armor to give a character is learning the NAME of a particular set of armor so you can look it up on Google Images. Usually though, if you search for something like "Halo 5 helmets" you should be able to find something like this that at least gives you some names. And then you can go from there.

Here's some links that can be helpful also:

Vanity - Allows you to build a character with the armor from Halo Reach. Works similarly to a character customization screen.

405th armory - 3D models of ALL Halo armor from every game. You'll need to download and learn how to use a 3D modeling software (like Blender) to actually benefit from this link.

Also, if you're able to, buying the Master Chief collection can be a great resource too. All the games allow you to customize your Spartan so you can grab references for their armor, or just see what your character would look like! It's definitely not the cheapest option, but depending on what you're trying to do, it can be worth it.

Anyways, hope that helps! :D

[icarus-deathbloom]

Dawnlands: A Game Review

Dev and Publisher: Seasun Games PTE. LTD

This game is beautiful, the world is vibrant and teeming with life. Though, I won't lie, the cover art gave me a Zelda feeling right off the bat. I never played the Zelda games, but I highly suspect the devs were inspired by Zelda and several other games. There's nothing wrong with that either, the game seems like an original enough concept. The characters are good though the dialog does get a bit long, especially when all you want to do is go out and explore. Overall the lore is pretty simple to follow along even if you rush through some of the dialog. You're fighting against some form of evil energy, and some of the fights can get pretty difficult.

Character creation is simple, you have a few things to choose from to make a unique person. One thing I was happy about when creating my person was they have black sclera's! Having the red eyes with the black sclera makes me so giddy that they actually thought about that feature - its basically my favorite eye type! Hair styles are fairly limited and simple as are the clothes. Make up is lacking but they do have some interesting features, like in the image below which gives me a sort of Viking feeling.

From what I gather is there are minor bosses and major bosses. I wish I would have thought enough to photograph them, but when you're panicking trying to kill a boss before it kills you, especially the first time, you aren't thinking about taking a picture. So far, the first minor and firs major bosses were both pretty challenging. I died once, but ended up killing them the second time. So they aren't so difficult that you're going to be spending a lot of time trying to get past, though for the first major boss I did spend some time getting more used to weapons, moving, and even found a nifty staff seen in the image below. I also just wanted to show off the amazing lighting of dusk as the sun sat behind me, and the fog masking the distant mountains.

I will admit, getting used to the controls was a bit of a learning curve. If you don't pay attention to the tutorials you will have a hard time but its not impossible to learn things on your own. The instructions are always available in case you do need to go back and read them which I am thankful for.

You get some daily quests from the people at the shelter, and they are pretty easy to accomplish and you get so many accomplishments and rewards - different dailies, different achievements, etc. It does have a bit of a gatcha element, but you are able to grind for most everything if you aren't wanting to pay IRL money. One example would be backpack extensions - they cost a bit of in-game gold, but you can buy them in the shop with IRL money if you want them faster, but its not hard to get the gold you need if youre doing the dailies, and doing the grind. This element make sense as the game is free-to-play, and it doesnt seem like they push that element on you. It's there if you know where to look, but over all, they keep pretty mum about it.

An aspect that I love about this game is that you can build your own house, if you have the materials to do so. You can also find empty houses dotted through out and just kind of move in, ultimately just residing closer to where you're needing to be and having safe houses throughout the lands. In the image above I'm sitting in front of a fireplace in one of the empty pre-made houses I chose to take over. It's worth it to go through these empty buildings as you can find pretty help items that you can't craft yet and you're able to use them right away. This is the house where I found the staff mentioned earlier.

There are so many beautiful spots to take creative selfies at. Sometimes the character is just posed so perfectly and some of the rocky areas look like robots. The image below, the rocky thing behind me definitely has some robot vibes. The game gives you so many amazing access points to get some really great shots, so if you're into taking cute screenshots, this is the game for you. To add a cherry on top, the game is co-op! It is split into servers which is categorized into countries - unfortunately you can only play with people who are using the same country server. So a person in the US can't hope on and play with someone in the UK, or Asia. But if you are playing with someone, you can take some cute pictures together I bet!

There are so many interesting areas to explore. The more you travel the more you'll see and it hasn't gotten boring for me yet. Theres so many unique structures that it draws you into the land, and make you question what certain things are for. Which make sense, because you are there to fill a prophecy in a land that you don't know. I won't go into any details, but it's a fun little time.

I am very interested to see where this game takes me. The map is huge and blank until you've explored it. I have not explored the full map yet but thats something that keeps the game exciting. You don't know where you're going to end up, or what other creatures you're going to find or what new resource you'll find.

There are aspects I don't like, which would be the farming mechanic. You can't farm right off the bat, and need to level up before you can. I haven't been able to plant a field for food yet. Also, having horses seem a bit glitchy. I have one horse, but somehow now have 2 identical horses - I have no idea where the other horse came from, but I know I have that one too. I'm afraid of taking the wrong horse out in fear I won't get it back, so, I'm constantly checking to make sure I have the correct horse by traveling a bit and having the horse teleport to me.

In all, I will probably give this a good 4 out of 5 bones. Its a great game, just a but buggy and I am hoping this is something they work on.

[pikkish]

@dwellerinroots videogame exchange list for you! A handful of my favorite open world/open world adjacent games.

Hollow Knight - 2D metroidvania platformer. Metroidvanias are like, basically open world games, right? right? It’s still centered on exploration, so I’m gonna say it counts. Anyway, Hollow Knight is a very special game in that it is one of two games where, partway through, I stopped and thought, “I did not pay nearly enough for this game.”  You play as a strange little bug creature known only as the knight or the little ghost, and explore the ruins of a forgotten underground city that long fell to a mysterious disease. Very little lore is directly given to you, and not much of that given to you makes sense until much later, but the game is an excellent example, and should be a role model, of “show, don’t tell” and environmental storytelling. Beautiful art, haunting soundtrack, compelling characters, a huge map to explore, tons of secrets to find, a lore rich story, and a fast and tight combat system. It does have a reputation for being very difficult, both for combat and platforming, but less “this is a poorly designed game” and more it just has a steep learning curve. Well worth the challenge, though; the game will rip out your heart in the best way possible. I cried about at least two of the endings.

Subnautica - probably one of the crown jewels of open world exploration, tbh. Your ship crashes on an aquatic planet, and you have to survive, find out what crashed your ship, and build a rocket to escape. The world is beautifully alien, vibrantly alive, and the entire thing being underwater lends map design a unique sense of verticality that most normal-landscape open world games don’t have. There are, iirc, two timed events that happen, but otherwise you are free to ignore everything plot-related and explore as you please. I’d recommend playing in a dark room with good headphones for the full atmospheric effect. *(Due note though that Subnautica is... a little broken in some places. Reviews say it’s partially a horror game, but the scariest thing that happened to me was when one of the giant fish that wants to eat you pulled a Bethesda on me and clipped straight through a mountain to come get me. It’s a bit unpolished in areas, some mechanics don’t work quite as well as they were intended, and I suspect some areas might’ve been a victim of scope creep. There’s apparently been an update recently that supposedly fixed a lot of these, but based on my experience, it doesn’t quite feel like a complete game, and I’d definitely wait for it to go on sale before buying.)

Dying Light - This one is a bit more populated and quest heavy, but it has neat maps and fun gameplay. There’s been an outbreak of a zombie virus, and you’re a secret agent dropped into the quarantine zone to find some research on a cure. You must work with the survivors set up in the quarantined city both to accomplish your goal, and just to stay alive. The core gameplay is parkouring across the city to escape the zombie hordes, some of which are just as good at climbing as you are. Said parkour mechanics are very fast and fluid, and running around the city, chased by zombies, on a quest, or just for fun, is downright exhilarating. I did have some stuttering issues I couldn’t quite figure out how to fix, which is... a little bit of a problem when the gameplay is all about how fast and smooth you can move, but otherwise a great experience.

Rain World - ‘nother metroidvania platformer. I actually didn’t get too far in this one on account of the controls being a bit more -heh- sluggish, but that’s more of a personal preference thing than an actual problem with gameplay. You play as a little creature known as a slugcat. Separated from your family and stuck within the decaying corpse of an ancient machine, you must scavenge food to fill your belly, avoid other creatures that very much want to fill their bellies with you, and seek shelter at the end of each cycle to avoid drowning in each night’s torrential downpours. Very large map, wonderfully designed environments, and an achingly melancholic feel to the entire thing. I know there’s some pretty deep lore from watching a friend who was far better at the game play it, but if my own experiences are anything to go by, you are entirely able to scurry around and do your own thing for hours without paying the slightest bit of attention to lore.

Noita - This one’s a roguelike, but I feel like it deserves an honorable mention as an open world game, just for how dang big it is, both in actual map size, and in how much content there is crammed into that map. It’s apparently very heavily based in Finnish folklore, but it doesn’t really tell you any of that, it just kinda goes “Here’s how you move, here’s how you shoot, ok have fun!! :)”  and then just throws you into the game. Its combat system centers about building your own magic wands with different spells on them, and combining spells in different ways can have wildly different results.For as deep as the wand mechanics are, though, the real selling point is the world simulation: every individual pixel is simulated, and everything interacts with everything else. You can burn things, break things, crumble things, shatter things, melt things, freeze things, and probably do a whole lot of other things I don’t even know about. Expect to die a lot, and expect to accidentally kill yourself a lot.