#bc i do have Thoughts. and also i did Not mean that negatively lmfao

[julesnichols]

One day (when I've slept enough to both remember enough to make all of my points and be coherent) I'll explain what I meant when I joked about Sophie being worse

[celestie0]

please share your thoughts on vinland saga. what is your favorite character, scene...? what is something you learnt through it?

omgogmogmgmggogm ty for this ask anon also so sorry it took me a while to get around to but i appreciate it i loooove vinland saga sm n i’d love to talk more ab it 😭🫶🏼💕 n if you’ve seen the show too i’d love to know ur answers to those questions as well aaa :””)

my favorite character for suuurrree is thorfinn :”) he is my sweet summer child, the apple of my eye, the kindest of all, my son, my heart, my treasure, my love, i adore him sm there are times where i think of him n i just start tearing up out of nowhere. imma sound so fkn insane when i say this but i really truly believe he exists in my hearrrtttt 😭💕 like he has to, there’s no way these feeligns of adoration i have for him have not manifested on some physical realm i just love him sosososooso much sobs he is my favorite fictional character of all time n i wish i could smooch makoto yukimura very gingerly on the cheek for bringing such a beautifully well written character to life. his determination to become a better person, live true to his ideals, and create safe haven for others is srs so inspirational to me i love him sm

[panels colored by @/hawta_mahmood on insta]

i would literally commit war crimes for him LMFAO (even tho that’s the opposite of what he would want anyone to do for him haha)

as for what i’ve learned n my fave scene(s) i will add a keep reading bc spoilers and also it’s gonna be really fuckin long 💀

what have i learned from vinland saga? dear god, so much. i could talk about this show for hours, HOURS, and i have before!! it is just that dense in philosophy n had my head spinning from all the reflections

of course, there is the infamous line in the show ‘i have no enemies’, which i think can mean a lot of different things to different people, in thorfinn’s case it is the line that allows him to adopt a life of tranquility n pacifism. i think for me, this line taught me to assume the best in people, and once i started doing that i think i learned how peaceful n meaningful life can be. for example, if i interact with a rude person or am fighting with someone i care about, and i am affected emotionally by it, i might think of that lesson from the show and i feel free in knowing that i have no one who i desire to hurt or retaliate against or even harbor negative feelings towards in my head(the saying comes to mind to think or speak negatively about others is to poison yourself) as someone w a lot of fuckin anxiety it’s very liberating to think that way, and i think that’s the biggest lesson i’ve learned from the show (among many, many, many others. i think another big lesson is obviously the subject of forgiveness, both in others and in oneself, but this post will end up being too long if i go into depth of all the things i’ve thought ab while watching vinland saga)

as for my fave scenes, i’ll try to just pick three 😭😭😭

1. end of the prologue. the scene when askleadd dies was so beautifully done. the moment where in his final moments, he urges thorfinn to rethink his life and what he wants from it, and to follow in his father’s footsteps. askeladd was such a cruel, violent, and objectively horrible person n was the cause of thorfinn’s journey of hatred in the first place, and yet in his final moments somehow his words to thorfinn did not feel out of character. that was the moment where i realized wow, this author knows what tf he’s doing and is truly so talented. to have a character’s traits sneak up on you like that, built so subtly throughout the show, so that the payoff feels so real and fitting and not forced, driving the direction of the story in the way we had been hoping for the whole time. fuuuckckf. also, quick mention of the scene where thorifnn finally lets go of his dagger n all the scenes from season one flash by on the metal. fuck. i cry EVERY. TIME.

2. i mean it’s a given, but the scene when thorfinn finally understands his father’s words and admits to a circle of bloodlust vikings that they are not his enemies, and that he has no enemies. what a wonderful full circle moment for his character arc, i get chills just thinking about it

3. this one may be a bit more random lol, but the episode that will forever stick in my memory is gardar’s backstory episode. fuck i could writr a ten page essay about this one twenty minute episode ALONE, but i’ll just pick out the one scene that just kills me. the scene where gardar helplessly watches himself in the past, as he leaves arnheid & hjalti, and there’s nothing he can do to stop himself. fucking hell. if there’s any scene that i think could perfectly show what a feeling of regret is like, that would be the scene, and what fucks me up so much about that scene is how he cannot even manage WORDS. he is a grown man, reduced to intelligible sounds because his pain is so profound and his guilt runs so deep that it is like he becomes all but a helpless child. just kill me, seriously. i had never cried so hard in my LIFE watching anything than in that episode. i sobbed so hard i had hiccups n my sleeves were covered in snot. but the ending, when he got to see his son again in the afterlife n he was the age that he wouldve been if he was still alive :”) my god. yukimura nails anything that has to do with father son dynamics, im sure its because he has a few boys of his own, and his love for his children is so evident in his writing. but also, the fact that he was able to make me feel SO MUCH for a character we hardly knew anything of, and also to use a character that the audience is not very familiar with to tell a story that i think almost everyone on this planet could relate to in some capacity (things we want to change n wish we could go back to do so…) just what a genius genius creative decision like he is just such a wonderful writer i appreciate him so much 😭😭😭

god, all of s2 is honestly my favorite scene LMFAO. the whole entirety of it is a masterclass in story telling. imma just do a quick few more of my fave scene shoutouts tho 😭

thorfinn getting his ear sliced by fox, thorfinn calling einer his brother, thorfinn climbing his way out of valhalla, thorfinn telling arnheid about vinland before she passed away, snake revealing the truth behind ketil’s name, thorfinn reuniting with his mother again. god just all of it. i swear, just all of it.

GAT DAYUM THIS IS LONG but idgaf i’d talk about this show until i draw my last breath lmfaooo thank u anon for this ask im clearly insane 🤣🤣🤣 ur probs like im never sending this bitch an ask ever again LMFAO just joking but srs i appreciate it i had a lot of fun answering :””) i just love this show so much

[bcofl0ve]

So, genuinely and respectfully, I have a question. Your previous anons about Vanessa and why people don't like Kaia got me thinking. It seems like the more hard-core fandom is split into people who like Kaia and vocally support the relationship, and people who don't like her and are vocal about thinking it's PR or that they'll break up. I have seen people who don't like her say it's PR, they're not soulmates, she's a nepo baby, etc. I've also seen people who do like her say they'll get married and have kids, and handwave away anything about her that comes across as problematic. Both sides are also very vocal about thinking the other side is delusional, from what I can tell. My question is: if they were to break up and he dated someone else, do you think Kaia's supporters would dislike the new girlfriend in the same way her detractors dislike her? I'm not suggesting that you (or anyone else) necessarily would, but your anon about Vanessa in particular made me wonder. If he dated someone else, it would be easy for people to nitpick the new person simply because she was *not* Kaia, or insist that the new relationship wouldn't last. Or call her *insert negative personal attack here* in comparison. I'm not saying that's what would happen, or accusing you or anyone else of anything. I'm just curious to know your thoughts on whether, if Austin and Kaia did break up, Kaia's supporters/fans specifically would dislike the new girlfriend by default. This is more of a psychological 'let's put on our how women treat women in the social media sphere goggles' type of question than anything else, but I just wondered if you had thoughts.

i actually love doing fandom psychology LOL so don't apologize!

me personally, while i'd be bummed if they split bc i really like them together- anyone austin was with that wasn't like, genuinely problematic i'd "accept" him with. i want him to be happy more than i want him to be/not be with any one specific person. whatever that looks like- so long as it doesn't appear to be genuinely harmful or something, i'll trust his judgement calls on his own life.

whether i would make those calls myself or not. like for example, i joke a little sometimes about how the ppl who hate kaia would be throwing even bigger fits if he ended up with alana champion (a model he followed that 2021 summer he was single. no proof they were ever ~involved~, hence my being jokey about this). not bc she's a bad person- i don't dislike her personally! but bc just objectively ppl who wanted to nitpick would imo find more to nitpick. she's good friends with dasha of red scare pod fame and i just...can you imagine if austin was in that circle and we were doing red scare pod discourse on here as opposed to "kaia can't act" discourse lmfao. we got lucky! but i say that to say even so, if it was alana he found his happiness with i would've been ~fine~.

if they broke up i wouldn't endorse others being nitpicky about this hypothetical new girl if wasn't actually problematic or a "bad person". though i mean, i'm human and not without my own biases. so i think it'd take me a hot minute to "adjust" since at this point i am genuinely a fan of kaia on her own! but idk if i'd blast any of those hypothetical feelings all over in public posts as opposed to just dming my friends about it. (a self control skill i think more people could use lol!)

i feel like im word salading here so hopefully i made sense!

[jackinalex]

I fell asleep around like 9 pm and then woke up at 1 only to realize the album was out and I had to immediately listen. I have many thoughts, but I only compiled my thoughts on the ones that weren’t yet released.

• Are You There? - I think it’s a bop, but Jack’s friends rlly got Alex through that separation, so it’s kind of weird that he’s constantly bringing them up in a negative way. Like the drugs part is so obviously about them?

• Calm Down - Vocals!!! It SEEMS like it’s trying to be political in some type of way, but it’s vague. The “micro plastic submarine” was not something I expected, though.

• English Blood // American Heartache - Separation song, FULLY. I wish “fuck ‘til the pain don’t hurt” didn’t affect me like it did, bro. Also, “There's no changing who I was and you know exactly where I've been” yeah we knOW y’all are annoying.

• The Sound of Letting Go - Separation song x2 with “My best friend says I need to find something new” 👀 UM JALEX??? LISTEN TO JACK!!!! I like these songs better when I don’t think about what’s inspired them.

• New Religion - Horny bop, of course. I get the concept, but “your sweat is my holy water” is kinda gross lmfao. Anyway, I will be imagining this is about Jalex for obvious reasons. 😌 I like Teddy’s voice.

• The Way You Miss Me - This is literally Alex describing how toxic his and Lisa’s relationship is…..this is so annoying. I mean, I do like that he’s somewhat acknowledging it, but like??? Also callback to how the story ends. Regardless, I like how this song sounds. He just irritates me with how he KNOWS they’re ridiculous and he just doesn’t care???

• I’d Be Fine (If I Never Saw You Again) - I’m sure this is just another separation song. I do not like imagining lisex’s sex life and he just keeps making me do it. Also, if he’d be fine if he never saw her again, wtf is he doing with her again Jfc.

• Kill Ur Vibe - Now this is super duper separation song. Reminds me of when Alex was sad boy-ing and Lisa was just so happy on her farm with her creatures and going out with her rich friends for $400 wine. The last chorus made me 🙄

• The Other Side - omg not Alex mentioning Lisa’s secret boyfriend. Also, another callback to how the story ends. “I swear I died a thousand times” is a lyric I should love but 🙄 not when I know the context here. Like stfu.

• Lost Along the Way - Love the space imagery bc that’s so Alex’s brand. Also had me actually tapping my foot along, so I guess it’s a bop. The melody almost reminds me of basement noise.

[msommers]

know, for bad, companions, and exit for riya, meredith and jorina!

here i am days late bc of my brain simply not working // oc asks: relationships edition

Know: How well does your OC know themself—their wants, their goals, their motivations? Do they engage in any sort of self-reflection? Is there anything about themself they willfully ignore?

RIYA — she would love to return to the days when the only self-reflection she took part in was looking into the mirror, because she's been looking inside quite often recently and is becoming increasingly aware of how much she was willing to ignore just to stay in her happy little bubble. she used to have very clear, simple desires and goals that drove her each day, and now she has no idea where she's going, how she should be feeling, or what to do about either of those things. she's in her "fucked around, found out. now i'm lost and hurting" era

MEREDITH — for being a big political player, she’s kind of an open book. her motivations and goals are clear, always have been and always will be. she has a solid grasp on who she is and hasn't had a reason yet to hide away any part of herself. even the grief and rage that still linger years down the line are things she never ignored, just turned into motivators.

JORINA — ignored many parts of herself for the better part of a decade just to ensure she was able to provide for her family without any distractions getting in the way. probably only started some soul-searching after the crush on aleksi developed because that kickstarted the "wait, do i actually have and want desires and interests outside of working???" thoughts. absolutely dreadful times for her, digging into her own brain like that. wouldn't recommend

For Bad: Is there anyone who had an undeniable negative impact on your OC’s life? How did your OC deal with that change? Have they been able to move on?

RIYA — victor’s murderer i guess lmfao nobody else has had a specifically negative impact on her, but that person really took an entire sledge hammer to her heart and life so congrats to them. hand wave to the vigilant campaign so far to answer how she’s handling the changes and moving on

MEREDITH — the obvious but still worth saying answer here is rendon howe. my guy left layers of lasting trauma and struggles with trust/rage/faith, things that meredith is still trying to handle a decade into the future. there's also a level of paranoia that he so kindly gifted her. i think she's moved on as far as one can after such horrid events, y'know. the vengeance was claimed, the healing was done, and the crippling sorrow only creeps in on rare occasions. something about her relationship with nathaniel definitely helped bandage some lingering wounds, but i'm not gonna dive down that rabbit hole rn.

JORINA — i mean. also rendon howe because of the alienage "purge", but that wasn't just the single offender. i've talked So Much about how jorina dealt with those changes (becoming the provider of the family, losing her childhood, ignoring her grief/desires/etc for years) so i'm not gonna do it again, but yikes. it took her a long time but she does begin to move on during her time with the inquisition! it's a horrible journey of having to finally let in the grief of all that she lost and shoved down for so long, but it's a necessary one.

Companions: Is your OC part of an adventuring group? A band of travelers? A guild, a team, a crew? What's the group dynamic, and how does your OC feel about their companions?

RIYA — your favorite no wisdom mage of the warden squad. riya’s currently in the middle of having some very mixed feelings about the grey warden order as a whole, but enjoys her little assigned group well enough for how much time she's had with them so far. despite my goofs about a certain dynamic within the group, i do think she likes them all. they are so far removed from the usual type of cast she'd have around her, but the circumstances are just right to allow for that kind of thing to not matter a single bit and to encourage her getting to know them. this would get annoyingly long if i went into detail about each member but i'll say her strongest feelings are for cian and leo, though undoubtedly that'll evolve given time with the other two members.

MEREDITH — oh, the origins crew. a handful of the people there knew they were only working together out of necessity, while she genuinely grew to adore and respect others. meredith wasn't afraid to show her judgement of those who argued her morals, acts of good, and main goals, which led to a few strained dynamics. too lazy to run down everybody, but: she would have banished oghren if he wasn't good at killing things. :// funniest positive relationship she built was with zevran because who would've thought the uncompromising honorable noble would take a liking to the whole assassin who tried to take her out?? insanity. this doubles as a note for myself but i need to revisit the game to determine meredith's dynamic with wynne, because since solidifying her character more i don't know if the strong focus on her noble rights/responsibilities would earn her approval lol

JORINA — hey i'm gonna keep it so real and say yeah, she was part of a specific inquisition scouting squad for a while, but nobody except aleksi has any detail at all. literally none of them. they're faceless goons just there to toss into situations for relationship moments. group dynamic is that everyone wanted to shake aleksi's hand for being the one brave enough to start befriending jorina first because it helped her ease off of being such a hardass with the stern expression and rigorous schedule.

Exit: Has your OC ever had someone important leave their life in a way that was unremarkable, unintentional, or clumsy? How do they feel about it? Is there any chance they'll meet again?

RIYA — i don’t think so, no. the closest could maybe fall to her brother, sebastian, in how he left the family home for the chantry (unremarkable in the way that they all knew it was coming, it wasn’t a big deal for anybody except daddy loren who would’ve still been upset about his kid lmao), but he would still show up on the rare occasion. riya hardly cared, he had turned into a preaching prat that really harshed the vibes every time he was around and she preferred her other brothers anyhow. they used to get along back when they were both directionless and envious of the other brothers, but that’s a hard feeling to remember after all he’s said to and about riya. always a chance of meeting again, i suppose 🤷

MEREDITH — someone important? ser gilmore might be the closest to this in the way that his death was unremarkable to most, he was just another unfortunate soul to die at the hands of howe's treachery (in a more personal way, she feels, after learning of his abduction and torture). she allowed herself the small hope that perhaps he’d made it out once she’d fled highever, but that became gnawing guilt after discovering his fate. their bond had been strong, and she'd spent so long picturing what it'd be like to have him at her side in the future, but then that future came and all she had left of him was feelings of heartache and longing. super not gonna see him again after what happened lol

JORINA — can’t think of anybody on this one. probably unnamed members of the inquisition who don’t matter to her story, just people who decided to dip because it got too difficult or frightening to be a part of that.

[madeoftwinklingstars]

ok tumblrinas are u ready. btvs live blog go

1.1

LMFAO can’t get over the 90’s ass voice over in the beginning literally making me laugh out loud

heehee intro as a whole …. with the rock like yasss slay

guys the jew representation in this show is off the charts. sarah michelle gellar and the other main character is willow rosenberg? no one ever talks about this. this is a jew show irl

alyson is so cute it’s so funny that they try to make her “nerdy” with a shitty outfit like. what???? she’s still like. so pretty.

meet cute mome with buffy and xander .. classic

also buffy’s first day outfit is soooo cute n so is she. love

xander’s sheer shirt is like boygirl chic supreme. loveee again

GERM WAREFARE????????? WHAT

free my bitch willow she aint done nothing but be sustainable

love him already (giles) why is he like this

giles is boygirl supreme actually i’ve decided or maybe he’s just british

GIRL REALLY THOUGHT HE COULD PLACE DOWN A BOOK OF VAMPYR AND NOT FREAK OUT????

sometimes joss whedon writes shit and like. u just have to sit and think

did people talk like this in the 90s

i love how buffy is like fuck this shit like yes girl fuck this shit

no bc the way that it must be so hard to hold this secret and have to watch her destroy not just her life but her mom’s and everyone around her’s…

yasss girl live in ur dark cave, chant ominously and give us nothing 😍😍

“hi! im an enormous slut!” pissing myself

if this was me and i was 16 i would not be allowed to go to a club. like? girl do u care abt ur daughter at all?

this dude in his velvet coat….. and being destroyed by buffy instantly… yeah… yeah…

if this is the place to be in sunnydale i think i’d just never leave my house if i lived there

WHEN DOES WILLOW BECOME A LESBIAN 😭😭 i know she does i just can’t wait

ok but jesse literally can’t catch a hint like leave her alone

FREE MY BITCH WILLOW make her a lesbian now so she doesn’t fall for this vampire dick

“what is your childhood trauma” the way i have fully said these words before but in an entirely different context

the vampire makeup is sooo funny tho i think we need to bring back practical effects exclusively so we can have gold like this again

i know by young and fresh they mean virgins and i just don’t know why they don’t just say it

kinda love how they chose this dark ass place to hide the shitty fight choreography and makeup

thinking about how joss whedon went on to write parts of the MCU and u can literally hear the quips starting now LMFAO

love the overarching plot explanation now… we need that structure yasss

1.2

wow literally forgot this was a 2 parter but also they put their whole pussy into this shit

the amount of christian mythology here does give it negative points for being a jew show :/

dirty cave back 😍😍 we love to see it… candle lit, large throne, perfect for all

ALSO PISSING MYSELF WITH HOW THE VAMPIRES ARE LISPING WITH THE FUCKING TEETH IN THEIR MOUTHS 😭😭😭 LITERALLY LMFAO

this show is soooo acab like yes the police cant do anything and only come with guns 😍

this show is actually so feminist because the 4 main protagonists are all women

fuck this guy (the principal)

i love her (buffy)

the cross is so ugly but i know they had to make it this big to show up on the shitty fucking quality of the tvs in the 90s

velvet coat guy’s name is angel and it’s like they want u to trip over the plot

sooo true xander i would also skip chem class

when she’s experienced and is willing to cut someone’s head off with an x-acto knife

fuck that guy (cordelia)

i love her (willow)

girlies RUN….

NOT THE LISPS AGAIN 😭😭

jesse is infinitely more interesting as a vampire and im happy they freed him from being boring

giles in rolled sleeves is strangely attractive to me. actually i think i just think giles is weirdly hot in general. maybe it is because he is british.

phantom of the opera ass score like DUNDUN DUN DUN

who wrote that essay about the inherent sexuality of vampires. yeah… yeah…

“the thtarths themthelveths will hide!” please

i do feel so bad for buffy tho like fr society if she just could be normal

crying over the heads of garlic just there in her supply box. like how would be use those to stop them 😭😭

ok but like. is them going to a club and drinking the drinks there implying that they are always drunk at the bronze at 16 year olds??? it’s so weird

cordelia needs to listen to goodbye earl by the chicks and i think that would fix her

90s censorship laws be like. no blood allowed! but yes to 16 year olds at clubs!

ok maybe i do rly like this show like a lot

buffy should be included in discussions of feminism fr like she walked so y’all could run

giles immediately getting taken down by a vampire is truly the most camp and hilarious thing he could do

the master lying and screaming on the floor no is so me core!

angel shut the fuck up have faith

u averted the apocalypse for now

i love how buffy has friends like :’) yay she’s not alone anymore

[dreaminginvelaris]

sorting acotar characters into hogwarts houses

idk why i decided to make this post but it was fun sooo...

lmk if y'all agree or disagree. Also please no hate, sometimes a post is just for fun and i don't need any negativity. UNLESS its hate for elain which by all means go ahead ;) (because of ppls sensitivity, this joke isnt an invitaion to go on a full blown elain hate rant just offer a few jabs, especially if you agree on the elain section and move on, if you wanna go on a rant, message me or submit a post and i'll response, all the love <3)

Slytherin: Ambition, Cunning, Leadership, and Resourcefulness

Rhysand: of course Rhys is Slytherin, the man screams Slytherin. We all know he's cunning, often coming up with plans to get what he wants, leader well duh, he's a high lord and loves it and is great at it, he's ambitious, he's a dreamer, so of course, he wants more, and he's resourceful, always being able to think on the spot. Rhysands second house would be Ravenclaw for sure though.

Eris: uhhh do I even have to explain? wants to be Highlord, boom ambitious. seems to be the one in charge of his brothers and has many responsibilities, boom leader. being able to achieve what he wants, boom cunning. resourcefulness...yeah I don't got an example for that one, anyways 3/4.

Azriel: daddy az is a Slytherin, I mean obviously this is the best house (is it obvious yet that I'm a Slytherin ;) but fr, I debated sorting him into Ravenclaw, but even though yes he shows Ravenclaw traits it's not the ones we see the most of or the ones that really shine through Azriel's reserved personality. The main traits azzy boo here has from Slytherin are Cunning and Resourcefulness, and imo these are the ones we see from him every page.

Amren: im putting amren here too, she's literally both!

Gryffindor: Brave, Courage, Daring, Chivalrous

Cassian: this one is self-explanatory, how many times has he put others before himself, how many times has he endangered his own life to save others. that's a Gryffindor soul he has. he always tried to do the right thing, he's brave as hell and reckless at times it seems from the little snide comments we've gotten from the books, he would have been a marauder no doubt.

Tamlin: I hate to do this I do because I love my lions, but I had to put this piece of shit somewhere and since he reminds me of peter Pettigrew bc of his cowardness, I'm sorting him in here. I'm so sorry guys ;(

Morrigan: helloooo, the house colors are red and gold??? obviously mor would demand this house, yes demand. but not just that she's crazy brave, at only what 18? i think, she stood up to her family, making a decision she knew could have her ending up in a horrible situation. but she always is brave, shes gotta when her evil family is still in her life.

Hufflepuff: Loyal, Kind, Patient, Hardworking

Gwyn: i choose my girl gwyn for Hufflepuff bc let's face it, she is the embodiment of Hufflepuff. She's loyal to her new friends, emerie and Nesta, and the priestesses. She's kind as we can see when she first met Nesta and when emerie and Nesta shared their stories. She's very patient never snaps at that bitchy priestess who idk the name of as well as patient when it comes to her and Azriel's tender new friendship and hardworking, always doing her job, running around the library, for her work, always researching more ways to help the Valkyries. i debated putting her in Ravenclaw, because of her intelligence, but i think she's a Hufflepuff through and through.

Elain: IT HURTS MY HEART PUTTING PLAIN ELAIN IN THIS HOUSE. but I gotta, the only trait this plant sniffer has out of all the houses is "kind and patient" EVEN THOUGH SHE'S NOT REALLY LMFAO. I've made a post on explaining why this dirt lover isn't as kind as the books make her out to be, and I would argue she isn't actually patient at all, I mean did we miss how she was basically frustrated Nesta wasn't getting better even though it had been like what 2 weeks, LMFAO. but yeah I mean she's not loyal unless you have food and money then oh yeah she'll be loyal and she's not hardworking bc I mean she never did jack shit and still doesn't, sorry to do this to y'all.

Note: some of yall are so soft. this is not an anti elain post. sorry i insulted her but hey its my post, and i have commentary on each character to explain why i feel they belong in a certain house. sorry i happened to insult your fav. but this isnt an anti elain post, just like its not anti tamlin or anti eris. its just a post about all the characters period, which is why i inculded all of them in the tags. hey, i even insulted Nesta a little bit, but I'm not gonna tag anti-Nesta bc it's not a fucking hate post. get off this post if it comes across you and you don't like what I say, it's not hard to literally just scroll, trust me I've done it multiple times especially when it's a hate post on my beloved characters and they didn't use the anti tags. it's not fucking hard, grow up.

Ravenclaw: Wisdom, Wit, Individuality, Intelligence

Feyre: I debated putting queen feyre into Slytherin, I mean she shows the traits for sure, but it's not really if she shows the traits it's what shines the most in her. Ravenclaws are known for their creativity (bae luna Lovegood <3) and feyres an artist, even in her darkest times she remained an artist, always seeing portraits in her mind, always admiring the beautiful colors of the world. We know she's intelligent, picking up reading and writing quickly, and we also see it when she's strategizing, with the inner circle. Feyre is so wise, she had to be, she had to grow up quickly, you often see her in the books giving advice, because even though she's only 21, she's lived a lifetime. and the whole book of acomaf can show you how witty she is, I mean its what made us fall in love with feysand.

Amren: tiny snowball amren is literally a slytherclaw, she has all the traits from both. but because of how well she is with coding languages and how she always reads and does puzzles i think she'd enjoy being a Ravenclaw.

Nesta: I thought about this for a while, really looking into where she would thrive, Ravenclaw is for her no doubt. She's herself, always has been even when that wasn't such a good thing... but she's witty too if you make sure to not count the "the book is about...a book" I'm sorry that line makes me laugh every single time. we haven't really seen much of her intelligence but I'm guessing she is. but really she would love to be in a house where ppl are themselves and read, i can already imagine her creating a book club where people can be themselves and enjoy smutty books like her.

Lucien: originally I was going to sort him into Hufflepuff but then I remembered how intelligent he is, how witty, and I remembered in acowar he talked about how being the youngest of what 7 heirs? he had the chance to really educate himself which he loved to do, to really learn about his court, idk this man just screams intelligence to me.

I left out emerie bc i honestly don't know where to sort her, i feel like i just don't know her too well or understand her enough to sort her, so feel free to lmk where she would belong :)

[gerrydelano]

Same grey's anon as before. I'm trying to remember all the fears and trying to remember what characters are like. What do you think about Buried!Amelia? Amelia has so much pain and keeps falling into it and with how much she felt overshadowed constantly by her older brother, who was her own hero. Now, I've not watched since s14 bc depression hole but Amelia gives me buried vibes with how many times she relapses in the show. Like she's in a hole she can't get out of for long before she's kicked back in. || Autistic Lesbian Cristina Yang everyone. I said bi/pan because of that comment of her being sexually attracted to whomever lets her have a scalpel lmfao. Flesh aligned maybe?? Because of how much she loved surgery that sometimes she struggles to empathize or connect with patients (but when she does, it's so 🥺). I do want to say that as an autistic who experiences empathy either on a "no/low" to "hyperempathetic", I do not mean that sentiment as a negative statement on her character, just an observation.

eeeeEEEE more under a cut because i Yammer Forever but i’m gonna end up slapping this into the other ask, too, just to save space!!!!

BURIED AMELIA. BURIED AMELIA. BURIED AMELIA. i’m in TEARS!!!! she is CONSTANTLY under the weight of something yeah but g-d she does her best to claw herself out of it every time and when she’s at her best she’s so. light! and like. she can BREATHE! thinking vast thoughts now. fuck my life.

you should DEFINITELY catch up btw like the most recent stuff is some of the most Beautiful shit i’ve Ever seen it really is just. a gorgeous show, despite its older flaws and some of the more annoying shit like owen and teddy and whatever. amelia is really thriving right now and she’s happy and it’s going to be okay and i love her so much fuckjghrfm 

she was definitely a buried fear meal, it was just. so heavy. it was so bad. her breakdown with the bag of oxy on the porch just. i can’t, man, i jsut can’t jhbkn.

also i get what you mean about cristina yeah jHDKGH i just get the big vibe that a lot of it is just. y’know, even the autism, like. imprinting on someone for that feeling of ‘oh, i’m going to get a good grade in surgeon’ and. not really Confusing that for actual feelings, but definitely letting it Guide her feelings, and it’s hard when you become accustomed to how things Go, in her case being this pattern of “sleep with mentor, ditch when i’ve learned all i can” which is very. well. she finds it very easy to separate from things until they start actually fcking abusing her and trying to change her and she feels like she has to change fundamental parts of herself to make it work because what will she do otherwise? she’s told all the time that she’s slobby and mean and ruthless and people are Shit at reading who she really is.

which! more flesh vibes, yes! there are things she sticks to her guns on, but the way burke and owen fucked her up was very much the afflicted side of the flesh as much as it was very. desolation. she’s lost a fucking lot. she’s had a Lot taken from her. i’m so glad she got a happy departure

also, as a low empathy autistic, i know exactly what you’re saying and i do NOT take any issue with it, don’t worry! i get you and i TOTALLY agree like. that’s her struggle, yeah! she struggles to humanize her patients. thinking about henry now and how they fucking. manipulated her through that struggle to empathize and got her to do that surgery without any emotional baggage jeopardizing how she did it but they fucking. call her a machine and she’s framed to look so careless about who this person was until they tell her and it’s like. no, she fucking cared of Course she did but she does her JOB first and foremost! and then bam it’s the husband of the woman she loves her mentor and it’s! gut wrenching! it’s awful!

but she’s Definitely so focused on like. the work, and making her way up to the top, and being the Best she can be no matter the consequences, so i can honestly definitely see flesh for her given that outlook on both herself and the job itself. i have a lot of fucking feelings about cristina yang 

and amelia 

and kjfnekfnekn so many of them So many okay i just. i love! the characters! so much!

EDIT: FLESH MARK SLOAN ALSO!!!! his whole specialty is very, like. the way jared approaches helping people find their True Selves and be at their most content like he is just here Doing That and ALSO he views himself as. kind of a piece of meat. it’s so fuckign sad but here he is. he’s VERY body-centric and it hurts the me!

[myonmukyuu]

hot milk tea, thoughts and feelings

I’ve only mentioned it briefly, but I’ve said that I’ll be taking a break from my SetsuAyu series - mainly because of my uni workload though.

But for now, I have a lot of thoughts about the entire thing as a project as well as myself as an artist. So I figured that I’d write a reflection of sorts (warning: it gets kind of personal).

Can you believe it’s been 3-4 months since the series started? I can’t, and I’ve been the one drawing all of these!! If you’ve been reading my work, I’ll say it over and over but I really appreciate it!!! Like I’m dead serious!!! Completely!! Utterly!! Without a doubt!!! I love all of you!!!

When I posted that first comic, I didn’t think it’d get the positive reception that it did get. Like, I’ve been producing basically entirely Muse content for years and suddenly decided to tap into Nijigaku? You could argue that it didn’t get that much attention, but either way, the attention it did get surprised me. I was so happy that people were engaged (and it still makes me stupidly happy, like on a level where I’m almost embarrassed to admit HAHA)

Recently I’ve just uploaded the bonus for the 3rd update which wraps up that part, and it really just clicked - that I really have invested soooo much time into this series. 36 pages now! And we’re only 3/10 main updates in!! I have so much passion for this - like a fire that can’t be put out. Every single update has something that I want to communicate/show so I always feel fired up. Heck, if you’ve spoken to me during the process you’d catch me always saying “I’m excited for the next one!!!” while working on it LMAO. It’s been my longest string of non-stop work. Usually I feel burned out more quickly but I was always so excited that I couldn’t stop! You’d find that I’m usually in a  state of conflict bc I alwaaaays want to talk about it but at the same time I don’t want to spoil anything. (THE NEXT UPDATE JUICY)

I think it’s a clear reminder of why I draw actually. The answer between each artist always differs, but I think it’s something important to be aware of. And well, for me? I’ve realised I’m a passion-monster. Passion keeps my blood pumping 100%. As a result... you could say I might be a more selfish kind of artist. Maybe it’s burn-out from running all those ask-blogs/RP when I was like 13-16, but I’ve realised that I’m having the most fun drawing what I genuinely love. It’s kind of why you’d rarely see me do requests and why I no longer do commissions. That isn’t to say that I hate drawing for other people. It can be fulfilling! But it’s more like - I barely have the time to draw for myself, so drawing for others is kind of a lower priority in general. It’s also why I’ve decided against studying graphic design when I graduated highschool. It’s just not happening as a career.

When I ask myself, “what kind of artist do I want to be?” I always think “Somebody who marches to her own beat and works hard to make content that she loves.” It’s also why I never delete anything - even my oldest art that makes me cringe. Because the me from 5 years ago put her love into that too. It’s really cheesy sounding but that’s how I see it LMFAO. I couldn’t do that to her. And also, just because I don’t like something anymore, it doesn’t mean that no one else does. So I’ll continue to never delete my old work. As a bonus, we get to see how far I’ve come too~.

I feel a little vulnerable admitting something like this and I’m pretty sure I’ve only told like 4 humans, but I think my #1 goal as an artist is that I want people to be able to look at my work (that I actually put my heart into) and think “this person loves this” or “this person works hard”. If you can do that, and sincerely feel the feelings I put into my comic, then I’ve already reached my goal. Can people tell how much I love these characters? The series? The concept? Can people tell how much work I’ve been putting into these updates? Can people tell when I’m having fun? It’s something I think about a lot. The idea of that people might think so makes me tear up HAHA - I get really sappy thinking about these kinds of things. And well, if people can’t tell then I’m not working hard enough!

That isn’t to say that I’m always putting my life-blood into everything I make. I’m mainly referring to the stuff where I do. I think it’s pretty clear when I’m pumping a lot of love into something. In general though, there’s always an intention for me to like communicate some idea or feeling and doing something like that requires maybe a bit of love~.

I feel like that as a character, Setsuna really resonates with me a lot. In personality? Not at all LMFAOOOO (she’s such a nice girl!!). More because of her ideals and principles. After typing like everything that I did up until this point, I bet you can guess why. I’ll keep it short and simple though, since this post is getting stupidly long.

Basically, I really resonate with her drive and passion as both an artist, and just in general actually? I’m a believer in that if you’re passionate about something, you can spread that passion. That’s the mentality I have with my art. If my love shows, then maybe other people will understand why I’ve come to love something. And maybe they’ll come to love it too. If I’m having fun, maybe they will have fun too! Very cheesy, I know, but that’s just how I roll!!!

Like rare pair? New fandom? Still applies. It might take awhile, but eventually either the people who love that thing will find me, or I’ll help people come to love something new (or at least see where it’s coming from lolol)! 

And as Setsu says:

You tell ‘em girl !!! That devotion is my driving force!!

Of course I know this is idealistic, but I think that’s fine. It’s no bother to me if someone feels indifferent/ negative towards my work because that’s just natural.

I think it’s a form of communication and that’s what drives my art. I’ve been intending on writing a guide/ or talking about my art process for comics for some time now and I think that’d be the first thing I’d mention? I’m always trying to communicate some sort of feeling/tone/idea and that comes from a place of love y’know.

I feel like I’m saying “love” and “passion” a lot - you can really tell I’m vibing with Setsuna huh LMAO. There are other reasons I vibe with her too, but I won’t touch on that.

Coming back to my SetsuAyu series. You can tell why I’m so happy about it right? The story, the pairing dynamic, I feel like that people are understanding what I’m trying to communicate - that people are receiving my feelings of love for it and that makes me smile so widely. I really put a lot into it!!

This series is the first large project I’ve ever taken you see and I’m so so happy that I’ve been able to get this far! It really means a lot to me. But it wasn’t actually the first comic series I’ve tried to do. I actually had a Muse long-running comic planned years ago - a Dancing Stars on Me! AU but it never came to life. I think it was my lack of confidence that held me back. It might be weird of me to pat myself on the back, but I’m proud that I managed to get going this time!! I’ve actually written the SetsuAyu series in a way that for the first half, I could drop the series if I really wanted to at any point (each part is pretty independent, and that description I always copy-and-paste is all the explanation you really need), but now I know for sure that I don’t want to drop it! I wanna keep going!! Even if it gets tough. Although it might be a little early for me to make such bold declarations, I’m only 3/10 through LOOOL. But that’s just the way I feel right now!

I know it’s irrational and it’s something I’d rather not admit, but an anxiety that’s always looming over me is the idea that I’m not working hard enough - or that people think I’m not? Each comic update...takes like a month right? And a month is a long time. There’s this part of me that is convinced that people think I’m lazy for working so slowly. And I know it’s not true!! It doesn’t make sense for it to be!!! But like I said it’s irrational.

I’m really proud of this comic y’know. It’s a really big commitment and I’m proud of myself for being able to commit. I work full time 9-5, and I also am in my final year at university. I’m... kind of busy lol. So the huge factor in that month-long update turnaround is just that I don’t have the time to always be drawing. But I try to draw as much as I can! If you have me on discord you might notice me work on it for like 2-5 hours, almost daily before I go to bed (1am). Of course I’m not only drawing, but after I get everything plotted out sometimes that’s all I do. This comic is super time-consuming LMAO - and I try my best to work on it a little at a time.

So yeah, the entire month of comic-production is me drawing every almost every night.

Yeah it, - it’s kind of exhausting. Even though I’m itching to work on my next update, I’ve decided to take a break for uni crunch which is why I say the next one might be two months. It’s really odd though. The other night I was in bed feeling restless. It was so weird not drawing till 1am that I felt like I needed to be doing something. This comic series might have weird effects on my habits...

It makes me anxious thinking that it’d be so long till next update. But I’ll do my best to push that aside ! Hopefully I can get uni done and dusted ASAP! I want them to date dammit...

I've decided that I want to see this series through to the end. It’ll probably be May next year when that happens though LMAO! Please bear with my slow turnaround time. It’s only been 3 updates, but I can already see that I’m improving with each one. With each update I feel like I really learn from the previous and I always feel this sense of excitement with trying out new techniques and trying to create different feelings. I really want to see how the last updates will look compared to the first!  Technically we’re 3/10 (10 is an epilogue), but after 6 I actually stop doing bonuses? So teeechnically I’m like 40% of the way through~.

It might be a little over-ambitious, but I kind of want to print it out and make a hard-copy when I’m done. I’m not sure about what the demand would be if I were to sell it, but I definitely want to print it for myself first and foremost (after touching up the earlier updates of course LOL). It’d be like a physical representation of my achievement. I hope I can make it there.

Anyways, I’ve rambled for far too long. I’m not sure why I suddenly felt like talking about uh, everything but yeaaaah. If you’ve read this far, kudos to you! You now have a window into my soul that I’m still not sure if I’m comfortable with revealing (but I’m comfortable enough because I’m posting this so...)! 

After reading all of this, can you tell why I always get so so happy after each update? It’s the fruition of what’s usually 2-3 weeks of non-stop hard work! Seeing people connect with it always sends me to another realm of bliss and I always feel soft like putty LOL.

[blueboltkatana]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

[escapekissed]

i haven’t talked about ardyn in forever. but i think i’ve FINALLY SETTLED ON non-binary transfem tho their gender is very fluid and she will also accept being called simply gay or ‘an old queen’ in an old fashioned trans icon way! ardyn really just identifies as ‘camp’ and also ‘the diabolic evil threatening god & king and countrymen.’ 

u know how people would write/roleplay british people (specifically harry potter characters lmfao) as saying ‘luv’ all the time even tho that’s just a camp british gay thing to say and irl it means ur ridiculously gay af? that’s ardyn’s true gender. not even the character themselves. the roleplayer doing that to show britishness. the performance of being aggressively gay and fem is a part of his own identity as it is a part of his schtick.

so basically disney villain gender lol. 

any pronouns are good bc of it. the use of multiple pronouns actually helps with their dysmorphia in the line of they are no longer just a body of themself, they are legion, they are the plague, and they still feel the suffering of the world pre-her parasitical overtaking of their soul, even as they spread their uncommon sin of unconventional love---consumption & illness. 

she will have thoughts from people with different pronouns. he will lose himself to THEIR dysphoria from their memories in the time before they died, when they were simply human beings that didn’t understand themselves and simply hated themselves. (there’s more than you would think, ardyn’s daemons and his plague seems to specifically seek out those that doubt themselves, and those that would try to sacrifice themselves, the most. people with strong, hurting hearts. people who loved the way ardyn did. and his plague seeks these thoughts out once they are assimilated. they think of nothing but love of others and how it was imperfect, and hate for themselves.)

he originally wanted to join a covent growing up. she didn’t want to be king. they wanted to devote himself to bahamut and be a bride of god. he only changed his mind when he met aera. aera changed everything for her. aera was the first person ardyn loved more than god, and who seemed to love god as much as ardyn did. they were going to have a beautiful weddding.

bahamut rejected ardyn for taking on a plague they did not create, and has been punishing her for it ever since.

in no small way, ardyn considers both aera and bahamut to be their ‘exes’.

me choosing to present the plague as the negative experiences one has with being lgbt, the loneliness, the dysphoria, the clingingness and co-dependency and toxicity that can sometimes come with feeling all alone and helpless in a universe that loves god and nothing else, especially not a confused lgbt person-----

i want noctis and the boys to represent the exact other side of the coin in that. in that they’re all also lgbt, but their bonds and the growth that they have as lgbt individuals are extremely healthy even when they are dealing with quite literally the worst of trauma that any human being can experience. they represent the best in relationships and growing from that lgbt loneliness and dysphoria and feeling like no one loves u, the angst of growing up and apart and older. their bonds are what save them from falling to the starscourge, over and over again, and when ardyn and the world is healed----it’s through their sacrifice that comes thru their growth.

i like to think that when the starscourge leaves the planet, marginalized people are able to heal again from the kind of oppressive rule where gods and kings reign. they’re able to make a better future together in noctis’s AND ardyn’s sacrifice. idk! it’s just nice to think about.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“So Happy Together” Analysis

i don’t sleep

tl;dr: tbh not much to go off on about. i think we see a new skin for Iron Bear, one with some stripes. amara smiles, i do talk a little bit about little sisters in bioshock but tbh i think this was all just a stylistic choice lol. oh and handsome jack’s masks- probably Mount Jackmore. i don’t want to get to freaked out over jack returning, but damn gearbox lol u had me there for a second. im pretty sure it’s just a reused cut quest from bl2 that they never got to implement. 

EDIT: here’s all the cut content in bl2 (plus all the non-cut content as well for funsies). you can go to the cut quests and see the audio files for claptrap’s jackmore quest

holy shit can i just vomit all my emotions rn, they’re all good so imma do that so im rational when i start analyzing stuff okay? okay! 

holy shit that was fucking great and im really glad i tempered my expectations to something smaller than i thought because i feel bad for people expecting something huge, i was under the assumption we’d be getting a new mechanic that was like ‘choose ur +1 and they’ll be able to play the game with you if you’re both online even if they don’t have the game’ which was what someone said on reddit. altho im sure the poor company is gonna get spammed now with hate like ‘WTF YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BUILT THIS UP AAAA’. not to lie, i was slightly disappointed it wasn’t a longer stream, but i mean if they’ve got nothing to announce, they’ve got nothing to announce and HEY! new trailer!!! gonna be combing thru on the assumption this has some easter eggs like the MoM trailer did, just in case. i thought it was a cute trailer, gearbox never explicitly said what it was gonna be, a lot people all just assumed what was gonna happen was a demo/beta which sucks so i hope this doesn’t negatively impact people’s perspective of the game. im staying off reddit for now bc when i first checked it people were pretty pissed and i dun need that negativity lmao

okay! emotions are LOCKED behind closed doors. i am shifting into study mode. here we go boys/girls/those of us who know better. haven’t done one of these in a while, let’s see if im rusty at all.

claptrap! and the skull on the chair which reminds me of tyreen’s “favorite skull”. 

tv says “we are under attack, please stand by”

and afaik claptrap is near the beginning of the game, you can see part of the recruitment center behind him when the camera pans.

im thinking there might be something in the roses, specifically the hand-drawn roses later on in the trailer. will be keeping an eye open for that.

this is specifically a jakobs brand chest. i really like the see-through aesthetic of it

intro area of the game again. possible hint to the opening cutscene? tbh i was worried that’s what we were about to get because i haven’t finished the roughs of my mock up lol

so what i didn’t notice my first time through is that you can then see claptrap, also being shown in the chest

waving up at the camera. that’s not trippy at all or anything lol

this car in the foreground (with no one driving it, mind you)

randomly combusts, looking quite like elpis in that one shot of the claptrap presents pandora trailer. wonder if that means it’s gonna ‘splode.

ohhh it spins. please no spin imma get motion sick blech

shot of some cultists. one appears to have a jetpack near the bottom right there

another explosion to the beat

the shock wave!!!! that’s awesome

shock nomads cultists are back. f in chat for our shields

another cultist seconds before he gets blown to bits

it cuts to black for a secco as it moves thru said explosion

another cultist, i assume a psycho

finally some good fucking angles

heh.

idk what i expected from someone who’s first action skill line i ever heard was them shouting MAGIC WALL!!! TAAAADAAAAAAAAH

as a side note

who is shooting those lasers

we see them coming from behind the VHs, but

there’s nothing there

SPOOKY~

they’re coming from... the wall???

tfw u shot urself in the foot on accident

amara is not amused

`is this some human custom i don’t understand yet`

also i hate that i’ve done this exact dance before when i took dance classes as a kid

with less style of course, i was like 7

moze is into it, hell yeah

this reminds me a lot of Kingsman. where all the blood is like fireworks and stuff. i wonder if that has anything to do with the psycho brainwashing. like little sisters in bioshock. they see roses instead of blood, right? maybe there’s something like that going on with the psychos

i’d certainly hope our vault hunters aren’t brainwashed, anyway.

this dude looking SHOCKED to see that tho, lmfao

i relate to this man on a spiritual level i stg

man he looks pissed

omfg lol

“um”

“i guess this is okay”

the body language in this is gold i am just having the time of my life

adsfdgfhgjhgfk

this is so cute

also in retrospect, i think this is one of the turrets we see on promethea. i wonder what it’s doing here!

moze u ok?

oh nvm she’s into it, look at her! she’s dancing! She’s Dancin’!

oooo one of the robots from the we are mayhem trailer! okay you can totally see why i think they’re jakobs, RIGHT???

iirc this is a maliwan soldier

man this is a crossover event, isn’t it?

i get it now. togetherness. i gotchu gearbox.

some maliwan ships in the sky. possibly sanc-iii on the right? or a ship of the same model as sanc-iii!

this is a magitek dropship, change my mind

eh, they both start with M, fuck it.

no idea what fl4k is doing here

mayyyybe shielding themselves from the ‘firework’/confetti shower

i like that the confetti explosions are backed up by purple, you know like eridium/slag/siren powers. seriously, maybe this is just how to cultists see us Vault Hunters and the mass murder.

at the very least, the psychos.

fl4k’s into it. i wish we knew the name of their skag, if it has one. i hope it does.

well now the lasers are coming from the other side! what the hell

moving on

i think this is the HBC from the speakers, plus im pretty sure that skull and the stained glass are the entrance to mouthpiece’s arena

we also get a different colored explosion. im paranoid jack is somehow making a return (please god no), so i’ll just note it’s the same color as his eyes.

AND the chests are vomiting out gold guns, which i think, gold-plated gear, is the cult’s way of signifying standing. which im sure is a tongue-in-cheek commentary as gearbox gives out a gold weapon pack as a pre-order bonus. no, like, it even shows up as an ad on the video

smh gearbox lmao

oh, also, the cultists are doing fuckin flying impressions

im not saying its a reference to the cultist with rakk wings on the cover, buuuut

bitch it might be lol

it’s an upside-down vault symbol! ive been trying to figure out what that is in those screens for the longest time!

back on promethea and we get to see fl4k’s spiderant in action

their skag, too, of course

the jabbermon in the back there, too! i wonder if they’re going to be shock or cryo. i would imagine shock given how they’re glowing

also i love the way the flowers look in contrast to the character models

moze is so happy aw

i love the way fl4k’s skag comes flying in and slides to a stop. such a good doggo ;-;

this is beautiful, i want it as a wallpaper

moze skipping? holy shit

100% verified the best thing i’ve ever seen

i lied. this is.

is this the fast travel station effect?

also! IB is looking a bit different

i wonder if this is a redesign or if IB is wearing a new skin moze picked out

pan over to zane who clearly doesn’t notice the being of darkness and horror in the doorway

oh also, we’re on eden-6 now. which would explain the fast travel effect

psychos dancing on the rooftops lol

oh god my eyes

nothing to really say here, i just like this screenshot

pink shields booyah

this is so fucking cute

we also get a better look at that one facility on eden-6

is that... red i see? >w> i won’t say it i won’t i won’t say it i swear i just- ATLAS

fuck

i like that zane’s clone spawns with his melee attachment

not AS excited as the real life version though

GB pls let this be a zane emote

is that a varkid? on eden-6?

wtf is a varkid doing on eden-6???

more shots of the facility btw. reminds me a lot of sanc-iii so maybe this actually is the supamax mfg construction facility like i originally thought. hmmmmmmm

ah yes, of course

holy shit what is this a reference to?

im told it’s the sex pistols

the back of the bullet turns into Athenas

pans in

amara!

enemy with a top hat on. some variation of/upgraded gravedigger? it’s like a psycho but recolored with blue pants and a top hat. you can see it fall off when amara shoots him

y’know, these guys

some rakk in the background

i am hoping bc this is a celebration of togetherness we’re seeing all enemies everywhere, not that the planets don’t have their own unique fauna.

she’s so happy omfg

oh, you want some?

Uhhh then there’s THIS sequence

they’re doing the flying thing again lmao

there’s also whatever that black blob is on the left. a spaceship maybe?

car wheel

all their eyes started glowing red. uh oh gamers

also another fast travel effect

hmmmm... zarpedon is that you??

back on pandora.

“super 87 racetrack”, maybe this is near that motorcade fast travel we saw?

huzzah! rainbows!

i do believe that’s sanctuary-iii

another ship. drop ship?

elpis is looking nice this time of year. definitely not explode-y. yet.

pret-ty sure that’s iron bear. moze is standing atop the tower lmao

also! back to it’s old paint scheme. looks like moze was using a skin or smth

we also have this. are my eyes failing me or is that a big cross on the left? could be where jack was buried. 

also i know there was cut content in bl2 about Mount Jackmore! and this looks like a Mount Jackmore to me. it’s a cut quest where claptrap asks you to basically ruin the thing. but since the quest was cut, it’s still here in bl3. maybe they’ll reintegrate the quest lol

i can’t imagine it being roland’s gravesite. because it looks like the below.

i do know we’re going to roland’s grave in bl3, but the statues don’t really match up. maybe it is and the statues were broken, or ruined or something and replaced by a cross. could be then that the gravesite was defaced with, well, the guy that killed him. 

im really hoping jack doesn’t make a return. im fine with dealing with what he set in motion, and his influence, and probably even some ECHO logs and movie trailers, but please, for the love of god, don’t actually bring him back, AI or otherwise. im really excited for the calypso twins, i’d really hate to see the focus shift back to that guy. he’s had his fingers in every borderlands game. it’s time to let him go.

idk what this is exactly. it looks like maybe that weird eye bot troy stands next to in the intro for the behind closed doors panel?

goodbye mr magical jakobs chest, it’s been real

the RC now has red drapes going down it. have those always been there? i don’t remember those

hmmmmmmmmm maybe we’re looking at it from the back 🤔

anyway, that’s all she wrote. i haven’t see any hidden morse code messages or anything yet, but if something surfaces, i’ll be sure to add it here.

[mieczyhale]

your tagssssss on that one post T_T what if luther tried to 'it made you stronger' to klaus and he was like u right i guess i deserved everything, and someone has to tell him no you didn't, no one deserves xyz. turns out luther didn't even KNOW about some of those things. also ia with your headcanon for dave. and i think he recognized the same in klaus right away and knew he had to be gentle with him

yeah yeah!! that would be another reason luther would pull the ‘it made you stronger’ card on klaus - bc he literally has NO idea what exactly life has been like for klaus. luther thinks klaus’s childhood was like his - the same way he kinda thinks everyone’s was: better, as he was the favorite - he always thought klaus was lazy, that he refused to use his powers and acted out for attention and just to be difficult. he thought the drugs and alcohol were for those same reasons - all of his perceptions being 100% swayed and formed by reggie of course. he’d support any negative thoughts on his biggest disappointment and luther grew up as number one - which he took v seriously. he took their whole shtick seriously. so someone, like klaus, not doing the same - would be frustrating and irritating and it would make it easy for him to believe his brother is at fault / being dramatic. and then for his opinions being formed as a child?? just all of that together i dont think it would’ve ever occurred to luther to really THINK about it or figure out the truth tbh. and that’s just shit IN THE HOUSE. and not counting literally everything about klaus’s powers okay, do not even get me started on how nobody understands shit there. so there’s no way he’d have any idea what life was like for klaus after he left the academy up until the funeral. and being stuck in the mansion, quickly finding himself alone, not really having access to the outside world.. luther isnt stupid! no! BUT he does have this innocence / naivety that would prevent him from considering the implications of what 13 years on the street would be like for klaus - how it would affect him. so no matter what the context is for how luther is pulling that card - be it their childhoods or post-academy or a combination of it all - just.. their whole lives: he wouldnt see how FUCKED what he’s saying is yknow?? SO ANYWAY. so he pulls that card and klaus has to face his brother and hear that he deserved EVERYTHING and that it was good that it all happened!! because he’s a better person for it right?? and yknow when you’ve been thru a lot of fucking shit hearing that ONCE is bad enough but klaus has probably heard some variation of that a lot in his life so now he’s just like “you know what? you’re right.” and maybe he’s just resigned about it?? but i prefer the idea that he just.. fucking snAPS. and is like “i did huh?? i deserved ____??” and luther learns the TRUTH of klaus’s childhood and training and the drugs and ghosts and what happened post-academy (which that 13 years you can really fill with whatever trauma you want. everyone has their own hcs including i) and then idk what happens after that - im not a fic writer for a reason lmfao - but it would be irrelevant anyway. POINT IS. luther says something dumb and gets his whole life and world view kicked in the goddamn ass ((and maybe its not just luther!!  im always a slut for as many siblings as possible being in on dramatic and angst conversations like this. the more the merrier really)) THAT WAS JUST A REALLY LONG WAY OF SAYING I AGREE LMAO and someone would DEFINITELY have to get klaus to believe he didnt deserve the trauma afterwards - bc even if klaus had gotten to a place where he was starting to think positively about himself every once in awhile, i feel like that conversation with luther or whoever would ABSOLUTELY undo that. and i, of course, nominate dave (and maybe ben) to be the ones to step in and get klaus to see that he has ALWAYS deserved better than the hand he was dealt. (im also a fan of diego stepping in on this.. and five.. what im saying is i stan brothers supporting brothers, guys showing love and support babey)AND THANK YOU FOR AGREEING WITH MY DAVE HC“i think he recognized the same in klaus right away and knew he had to be gentle with him” I COULD KISS YOU RN, ANON S2Gi mean okay listen.. i love me a dave katz that’s kind and gentle just because that’s the way he is, it’s not for any reason - he’s just a soft soul and so he treats klaus carefully. but i ALSO love me a dave katz that’s kind and gentle because he has experienced people who were not. like that one quote about ‘i am kind to others because people have not been kind to me’ or whatever like.. give me a dave katz that is soft to klaus because he sees the same hurt in klaus that he has in himself. he sees it, understands, and so he treats klaus the way he wishes someone would have treated him. it’s still fucking genuine either way i mean Klave Are Soulmates 2kAlways. and im ngl i do think baby!dave was a gentle boy, i dont think he’s ever been mean to anyone ever a day in his life, but i think things tried to change that gentleness and so he had to hide it but then he met klaus and he didnt have to anymore - he could just be his best most loving self to someone who deserved all of the love and sunshine in the world and- ;sdf;sflkslsd im sorry i feel like im not even on the right topic anymore?? was i ever??? and this isnt even doing my feelings justice but i keep getting distracted so im gonna stop now before i really yeet this post off the rails thank you for talking with me about this tho!!!!!!!

[jackieandwilsonbyhozier]

im going to talk abt my life and like feelings (embarrassing) for a second bc new years makes me emotional also i hope readmores still work on mobile

i keep trying to make this post but cant figure out how to get all my thoughts together or how to word it . a lot happened this year i guess like my cat got hospitalized which left me with a bill ive spent the entire year paying off. i finally got a job. i got hit by. a fucking car. plus like interpersonal things. it kind of feels like 2018 was slow slow slow and then lots of stuff happened in the last couple months. the fact that i didnt have a job until like the second half of 2018 didnt help

2018 was hard obviously bc every year is hard and horrible but i do think it was different and better than previous years. ive been super depressed for a long time and since graduating high school especially every year just seems to get worse. 2017 was hard as hell bc i spent .. literally the whole year out of school unemployed just laying in bed depressed out of my mind like. super suicidal just completely hopeless and not having the will to do literally anything. for a long long time ive like held on very tight to my misery bc i was afraid to change bc like. its all that i know its who i am i dont know how to not be miserable im afraid to change any aspect of myself or my life even if theyre negative bc im afraid of the unknown. especially in regards to like adulthood like its scary its rly scary having to get a job and try to be an adult and do all these new things i just couldnt do any of it i couldnt even attempt any of it and i was stuck for a long long time bc of it. and the thing is i didnt even want to get unstuck or change or stop being miserable it was a comfortable misery i had no desire to get out of it

however ... i finally got a job this year which rly. set me up to start like functioning and everything i guess. it was so so hard in the beginning like adjusting to. doing something with my life after having spent the past two !!years literally just laying in bed being depressed. and like its still hard but its like. i can do it now. and i feel like i can do more now. like its made me feel more confident with just like. adulthood in general bc its kind of made me realize like i actually can do these things theyre not unattainable. and that its ok for me to want to start to change and like actually imagine a future for myself

like. i still have my moments obviously my depression and everything did not just disappear by any means but like. for the first time i feel like i dont have to be like that like i can actually take the steps to like being ok. like im working hard and learning to do new things and its difficult and its scary but its giving me the means to like move forward and help myself and everything which is something i never even wanted to imagine

i think my like main goal i made last year for 2018 was to get another job with like more consistent hours so i could actually start saving money and stuff and i. did do that. which is great and not something i thought id be able to do. im still only working part time but its definitely a step forward and its going well. i have the last of my cats vet bill to pay off next month and after that im no longer in debt and i can just start saving money. i rly want to be able to move out this year and again idk if ill be able to but it would be rly great to at least be in a place where its something i can seriously consider

also another thing is therapy/medication lol ill have to figure that out but. idk how to explain this but its something ive also been avoiding for a long long time my mindset towards it has pretty much been like. i didnt want it. but i wanted to want it. i didnt want to have to deal with the process of getting diagnosed/having to open up about things/just deal with all that i didnt want to do that at all it just seems so overwhelming and like so much and like. it still does but i kind of feel like its something i can also start seriously considering and kind of like im ready to like make it happen. again ill still have to like figure it out but it is something i actually do want now. which in itself is another rly big step for me lmfao

idk none of this is to say im like Better or anything bc im not by a long shot but its like. i can be. like im taking the steps to get better. and i actually want to get better which is the most significant difference between me now and me the past however many years. just the fact that i actually want to do something abt this like mess makes all the difference so. idk. idk what im actually going to accomplish this year if anything but the fact that im like doing something with myself every day and having goals im working towards and everything i think is more than enough like. im not gonna be down on myself for not accomplishing enough or anything bc ive done a lot and im doing my best finally so .

[dramayeoja]

Goblin ❣︎ 도깨비

Kim Shin, an undefeated war general, is ultimately killed by a jealous young king named Wang Yeo. After death, Shin is revived by the gods—but his revival is by no means miraculous. He becomes a 도깨비 (dokkaebi, goblin), and is cursed. He will have to pay for all the lives he took in battle by living alone in immortality, witnessing everyone he's ever loved, die. Remaining lodged in his chest is the very sword that killed him. There is only person who can see that sword, and draw from his heart so that he can finally rest in peace: his bride... whom he's yet to meet.

Things get spoilery under the cut—you've been warned! ;)

Chipper, yeah? Haha so, right off the bat, the premises of Goblin remind me of like, a much more morbid version of the legend of King Arthur. You know, a man draws a sword from stone to prove himself the greatest king in all of Britain? Yeah. Just to be clear: this is a good thing (imo). Like, I personally think this is just such a cool idea for a drama 😍

Let's jump right in. I'm gonna be honest and say that, at first, I felt a little turned off at the female lead, Eun Tak, being nineteen (in the beginning of the show), meanwhile the male lead, Shin, is 900+ years old (but physically looks to be in his thirties). It just... rubbed me weird. But hey, the Twilight series (both the books and the movies) is exactly the same—high school girl, century-old man, bananas yet somehow romantic storyline... And I loved me some Twilight as a young adult. So I mean, I have no right to judge, really. Plus, Eun Tak soon turns twenty anyway. So that's an improvement I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️ We follow her character into her late twenties, nearly thirty. So things are definitely fine by then haha! 👍

Don't let that previous bit make you think I didn't enjoy Goblin—I LOVED it. That detail is just a lil funky to me, is all. Back during my Twilight obsession days, I was nearly twenty myself, and the thought of being pursued by an older man was exciting. Hell, I mean, it still is! But now that I'm two years shy of my 30th Birthday, I feel differently sometimes. I think, LAWD get that girl away from that man, she too young for him LOL. I am definitely getting old... Enough about Twilight now, apologies! I'm only using it for the sake of conveying similarities seen in Goblin 🙏 Let's talk cast!

Kim Go Eun as Ji Eun Tak and Gong Yoo as Kim Shin

Eun Tak is a bubbly young woman with limitless energy! While still in her mother's womb, Mama Ji was involved in a hit-and-run incident which, sadly, took her life. During Mama Ji's dying moments, she prayed to anyone above that her child's life be spared. Sat on a rooftop from afar, beer in hand (lol), Shin hears her prayers, as he is a god of sorts. He appears before Mama Ji, and shows mercy to her unborn baby. Eun Tak grows up with the ability to see/speak to ghosts. Said ghosts tell her constantly that she is the goblin's bride. How do they know? A strange birthmark on the back of Eun Tak's neck tips them off. Eun Tak unfortunately was taken in by her abusive bitch of an aunt, who jabs Eun Tak every chance she gets. Her cousins are assholes. Eun Tak's aunt really only keeps her around in hopes of collecting Mama Ji's savings (intended for Eun Tak) one day. Sad, right? I mean, isn't Eun Tak being born without her mother enough as it is? Life can be so cruel 😔

Lee Dong Wook as Grim Reaper/Reaper/Wang Yeo

This is Grim Reaper (or Reaper for short), portrayed by the handsome Lee Dong Wook. His character is just this strange, not at all tech-savvy man with a constant deadpan facial expression. Said facial expression provokes so many giggles during funny moments, and drives home the longing and desperation during sad times. We learn quite a ways in that he, in his previous life (again, just in case: spoiler), was Wang Yeo G A S P ! The young king that is essentially responsible for Shin's death, as well as all the misdeeds that were done to Shin's family. Again, this is something I don't want to spoil. Well, more, anyway 😆 You gotta see it!

Yoo In Na as Kim Sun/Sunny

Kim Sun, or simply, Sunny (she loves to spell her name for people lol, S-U-N-N-Y!) is the second female lead. Yoo In Na is so gorgeous that one look at her makes you feel like such a potato hahhah. 🥔 This fact about her beauty bleeds over into the show itself—every time another character meets Sunny, the camera does this slow motion pan into her lmao. She really is that pretty! Sunny's personality comes across so odd at first... Having watched all of the episodes now, I feel the intention of Goblin's creators was to make her seem like a soul searching for something it has lost in a previous life. idk if that makes sense, but yeah. She has this way about her, like she's disconnected from others, and is sifting through the haziness to find this thing she feels she's lost.

Yook Sungjae (my BtoB bias 😍) as Yoo Deok Hwa

Sungjaeeee ahhhh 💘💘💘 I had to gush, sorry! Hehe. Meet Deok Hwa: unofficial nephew of Shin. Deok Hwa is a third-generation chaebol (heir to a family-owned corporation) and spoiled man-child, always seeking his credit card hahaha 🤣 But I love him so much. Between Gong Yoo, Lee Dong Wook, and BtoB Sungjae? Man, I'm dying over here! Deok Hwa's true identity is revealed later in the show, which if you haven't seen it yet, I won't spoil it. Just watch. But his ending sucked. Like where did he go? Everyone else's endings got tied up neatly except for his. What gives, man? 🤔 Edit: I was actually reading an online conversation about what happened to Deok Hwa online—someone jokingly said he was reincarnated as BtoB Sungjae LOL 💯

Other various comments

AMAZING OST 😍😍😍

Good pace, episodes drag at times. A little confusing in the beginning, but you get there eventually. Maybe this is just me though, viewers who are a little more keen than I will likely catch on sooner ;) My mom was a little confused as well, and actually said at one point, "This should be called the 'what-the-hell-is-going-on' show," hahaha. Like I said though, we quickly moved on from this, and loved all the things. There are actually, I think, three (?) specials that were made to aid viewers in making sure they understand the complex events and relationships clearly. I haven't watched them yet, but want to!

Quite repetitive tbh, as there are unnecessary flashbacks often. Probably for two reasons: the obvious of reminding you what's what, but also to create suspense. Typical duration of most tvN dramas seems to be about 16 episodes, so it's possible these flashbacks and things are, for lack of a better word, filler. I don't know how rigid or lax tvN is about having a drama set at 16 eps, but I get the idea this is their preference. Seeing as so many of their programs on average last that long, I feel this must be what they want. Such has the potential to affect the writing, either positively or negatively.

A continuation of the previous bullet: I think Goblin's creators oversimplified the plot at times. I'm unsure if this is due to possible pressures to meet a specific requirement(s), or what. I'd rather forgo ALL restrictions and let creativity flow, let the story be told without pressure to fill a specific amount of time, etc. but TV production is weird. And contracts are weird. tvN might not to blame for these issues, could simply be that storytelling isn't always easy, man. I'm a writer myself, it's hard! I'M being redundant now lmfao! Anyway, yeah ~

Absolutely LOVED all the scenes that were filmed on location in beautiful Québec City, Canada 🍁 Tall, romantic trees, the fall foliage, historic buildings... sigh. Now all I need is Gong Yoo chasing me and we're all set! ;D

In addition to Shin being revived, my crush on Gong Yoo has been revived as well LOL. He fine 🔥 A classic K drama crush, can't go wrong with GY👌

Gong Yoo is always stellar at doing kiseu (kiss) scenes, and in Goblin, he does not disappoint. He really goes at it 🙈 which is preferred vs. the typical person kissing a stone statue that you see so often. He even did a lift kiss with Kim Go Eun that was reminiscent of THEE Coffee Prince kiss he did with actress Yoon Eun Hye! 😍

I never saw it coming, how the sword would wind up being removed from Shin's chest. I worried what the writers were going to do, how would they approach this, and just wow. The way things turned out is such a relief. It also told me that Shin's love for Eun Tak is true. I mean, I didn't need that scene to occur for me to know that, rather it just adds extra oomph that yes, Shin really does love Eun Tak. He didn't want her to suffer knowing she was responsible for his "death," so he thought quick and used her hands WITH his hands asdfghjkl. How dumb (bc noooo now you're gonna die) and amazing he is at the same time 💜

I love how Shin made his way back to Eun Tak after passing away, it was such a powerful scene. I could really feel his struggle, and kept yelling at my TV for him to stand up lol!

Devastated that Eun Tak died 😭 I really thought as many times as she'd cheated death before, she would somehow continue cheating death again and again for the rest of her days. But no... What a selfless person, Ji Eun Tak. Her being reincarnated as Park So Min gave me some closure. Not the closure I wanted, but closure.

The relationship between Shin and Reaper is ADORABLE. Whenever they interact with each other, they just have this great dialogue. Shin pings, Reaper pongs, Reaper pings, Shin pongs. It's great 😄 I still laugh about the slow-mo scene of them returning from the market with green onions HAHAHA 😂

I love Sunny & Reaper ~ However, their history as Kim Sun & Wang Yeo in their past lives is so very sad. I don't even know where to start RE: my feelings on this 💔 imo, their ending kinda sucked. I just wasn't satisfied with them having had this complicated, tragic story, only to be reincarnated in this fashion that I ultimately found to be just... idk, disappointing 😩 Again, closure, but not the closure I wanted.

I thought Reaper, the other grim reapers, the name cards, the depiction of what happens immediately following death with the brewing of the tea, the afterlife, etc. was all very creative. We really don't know what awaits us when our time comes—it's interesting to wonder if it's anything like it is in Goblin 🍵

Can't stop thinking about Goblin, even though I'm now watching Thirty but Seventeen & Mr. Sunshine! I'm emotionally cheating lol halp.

Photo credits: tvN & AsianWiki

Yo yo! I'm sorry I took so long to watch + write up this review! It's been a long couple of weeks for me, I wasn't always able to watch when I wanted. It was maddening 😆 But I have finally watched, and feel like the most accomplished person on the planet hahaha. xoxo 💜

[smireyac]

fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020 

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!! 

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing.... 

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe...... 

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year...... 

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ??? 

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr 

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something 

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!! 

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!! 

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao 

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now.......... 

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol  

so yeah 

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy