#bc i have the sense id find myself in his church and i have no interedt in converting to christianity rip

[patrice-bergerons]

One of my favourite twitter accounts to follow is of this one Canadian gay reverend (@/revdaniel highly recommend) whether it's him posting about his day to day life with his husband and dog or eviscerating evangelicals who come at him with their queerphobia.

But I also think why don't *I* get to have the same thing, you know? Why are there no openly gay imams leading congregations that not only tolerate but embrace and celebrate queer identities? Offering readings and interpretations of the Quran that go beyond 'well you are sinning for being queer but God even loves sinners?' I haven't prayed in years but I would literally sprint to mosque if I had that. Why can't I - literally anywhere in any Muslim community??

[phoenixyfriend]

The “Momma Sturmvoraus was Literally Satan” AU

As requested by @spazzbot​. This AU was initially brainstormed on the GG fanworks server almost a year ago. Specifically, on the first day of 2020.

[ID: a truncated discord message by “Miss Nixy, Gay for RoboLadies” posted 01/01/2020. The message reads “I need to sleep but please for the moment consider:” and ends there.]

So. Let’s get to it.

Satan took a human form because why not see what's going on topside, live like a human, and “Oh shit is this pregnancy? This is pregnancy. Fuck, that's a tiny human. Which is now half demon. Am I supposed to take care it? Wonder if retconing this form into that Valois family was a bad idea. They do have SO much money though, I get to live like a queen. I suppose another child shouldn't hurt, it wasn't that bad. Oh, he's cute, this is actually making sense, why humans do all the sinning. Not counting dear Aaronev's murders, of course, those are just evil, but I did search out the worst of the humans to pair myself to...”

This is literally just "Tarvek and Anevka's mom was low-key Satan on a bored “let's be human for a decade or two to see what happens” jaunt, consequences happen because these kids are LITERALLY half-demon and arguably anti-Christs."

Also it's just Very Funny for Tarvek, ineffectual sexy lamp fashion twunk extraordinaire, to be an antichrist

Jeff thinks he’s pretty. Jeff keeps describing features that don’t entirely make sense. (Jeff’s canon name is Karl Thotep but they spent so long unnamed that the server collectively named them Jeff.)

This is not a crossover with anything, btw. Ambiguously Pop Culture Satan just got bored and went to have babies with a serial killer.

They’re just kids! That are vaguely demonic. So. Moreso than the rest of the Valois.

Sometimes "mom" comes back from the dead and visits Anevka and Tarvek to impart Wisdom and possibly magic lessons The rooms always smell faintly of sulfur after that...

They try to put Anevka in the machine but SHE isn't hurt and the MACHINE just melts

So that's the end of that.

It's very awkward for everyone, but the paperwork isn't too bad. It's very easy to write "incidental fire began during late-fugue experimentation, resulted in fire spreading through six rooms and several casualties, including Prince Aaronev Wilhelm Sturmvoraus."

As per @atagotiak​, “I feel like if we’re going in any way dimensional weirdness with thing, Tarvek got so good at exploring bc he could just clip through walls.”

With image provided by @thisarenotarealblog​:

Tarvek in Paris: My dead mother keeps showing up in my dreams to tell me I need to seduce my way out of my problems and also she looks like Satan. Tarvek's Voltaire-Appointed Therapist: I still don't know what that means. Just like the last five times. Tarvek: I keep telling her that I can’t seduce Colette, if seduction is that important she should get Anevka to do it.

Like he probably wouldn’t say most of that in front of any Voltaire-approved individual, but still.

Tarvek is still very good at self control but there's a Special Edge to his rants.

(Derailed in the moment to me thinking about Anevka in a sfw-but-concerningly-deadly succubus getup, because... yeah.)

Aaronev dies and goes to hell and his dead wife is just there like "hi! Time to be tortured for eternity!" He wasn't a good husband so. He can't exactly sentimentalize his way out.

“In the sexy way?” “... not for you, no.”

Mostly I just want the BULLSHIT that is "Storm Mom was actually just Satan getting bored and going on vacation as a retconned Valois girl, the kids are half-demons and sometimes it Shows."

To clarify: the Satan bit isn't the retcon. Grandma used to have one daughter. Now there are two. (Seffie and Martellus's mother doesn't remember being an only child, but sometimes...)

Satan retconned a new daughter in, which included a Valid Valois Venusian Vestment, so the blood tests play out.

The subtle signs of wrongness would be fun too. Anevka tends to smile a bit too wide and sharp for a human face. Inexplicable uneasiness, here you can’t point at any specific thing that’s wrong but it’s uncomfortable. Uncanny valley prettiness, almost like the porcelain she became in other timelines. Skin isn’t supposed to be that smooth.

My brain's pre-nap contribution at that point was "Satan's pronouns when not pretending to Human are sin/sinself" which is! Certainly a thing.

Tarvek, at some nebulous future point: I mean, your ancestors were monsters, but my dad was a serial killer and my mom was literally Satan, instead of just figuratively like Lucrezia, so. I mean. I kind of get what you're going through.

Per @firebirdeternal: Tarvek and Anevka growing up with "you're allergic to holy water" and not questioning it until a little later because What.

And then they test it and it's like "yeah, no, there's a rash now. That stung. What the fuck."

It INFURIATES Gil in Paris when Tarvek tells him that's a thing, because there's nothing chemically different about Holy water and regular water. But no, this is somehow happening.

It gets logged in medical journals as a Valois genetic thing because, well, Mom was like that too, right?

One time they both go into a church for an Adventure and Gil is very annoyed to find that Tarvek is like. Faintly smoking. It smells like burnt hair in here.

Gil: What smells like burnt hairgel? Tarvek: [glares]

Gil decides that it must be something particular to the church, like a fungus or something in the stone, contaminating the air and water so it only LOOKS like the holiness is what's setting off reactions.

It is not.

Tarvek once got into an argument with someone and ate a slab of raw, completely uncooked meat as a power move.

SVV seems to work perfectly. Everyone is fine. We get the ‘you fight like ducks’ moment.

And then Tarvek bursts into flames, and everyone panics because no they fixed this what the fuck is he still infected with Hogfarb’s oh my god... and then everything settles down and he's perfectly fine. Not a scratch on him, no longer turning funny colors. Completely unharmed. He's in a nicely tailored suit and looks faintly stunned

"I just met my dead mom, who's apparently Satan. She told me that after I died the first time just now, I should be harder to kill later, especially with fire, because now there's more demon and less mortal and guys I think I'm going crazy." "Is that a martini?" Tarvek looks down. "Apparently."

Tarvek starts just. Randomly setting things on fire by glaring too hard and has to tone it down. Meanwhile, Agatha and Gil are having crises about how he's somehow getting PRETTIER.

Is he faintly glowing? Maybe!

Gil handles it by angrily sniping at Tarvek about how of COURSE he's an evil little rat with a background like that.

Tarvek just wants a nap and to forget this ever happened. Many people are sworn to secrecy. It's very awkward.

Still, SVV did something, for handwave-y reasons, and so they're linked now. Gil and Agatha both getting tiny flashes of the same shenanigans.

They get none of the powers. They just keep getting Weird Shit.

Other characters with divine influence are like "Did you.... did you make a pact with a demon?" "What no that's our boyfriend."

Tho tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if a Heterodyne did sign a contract with a demon at some point in exchange for like. Materials. A hundred souls sacrificed in exchange for some succubus blood. Thanks!

Tarvek and Othar: Falling out of CW as in canon. Tarvek: WHAT THE HELL SINCE WHEN DO I HAVE WINGS HIDE THIS BEFORE I GET BOOTED FROM THE LINE FOR THE THRONE

IDK where Anevka is during all this. I think she might have decided to go sleep her way through the courts of the Ice Tsars. Vacation, y'know?

Othar after he's decided to make Tarvek his new Heroic Apprentice: AH, my poor afflicted young friend, it's noble of you to go against the dark nature of your tragic heritage like this. Tarvek: I hate you. I wish I could hate you to death. But you have a point. I shouldn't let my father's blood limit what I strive for in life. Othar: I... I thought your mother was... Tarvek: I know what I said.

Tarvek: Also you can't tell ANYONE about that, I can't have them thinking I'm not actually in line for the Storm King's throne.

He does admittedly have to like. Explain things to Grandma.

Terabithia is Tarvek’s maternal grandmother so this is supremely awkward. That said...

Grandma fondly remembers her pregnancy cravings; bone marrow and sulfur.

"Yeah so, my mother, your daughter, was... maybe actually Satan? But retconned into your life?" "Tarvek, darling, please. I figured that out half a century ago."

TARVEK ACCIDENTALLY FINDS HIM HIMSELF WEIRDLY INTENSE AT CONTRACTS

I mean that honestly just Tracks about Tarvek anyways? But like moreso.

He just. Writes something up and there's things getting signed or shook on and then the person tries to break the contract and either suddenly catch fire or are deeply unlucky for a set amount of time.

And Tarvek's just standing there like "how in the FUCK did I do that?"

Severity of infernal punishment depends on the severity of the breach of contract.

Tarvek finds out that Anevka's been convincing rich people to sign their souls over to her. It's a fun challenge. She keeps them in jars.

They can still remotely pilot their bodies but like. They can't TELL anyone what happened.

Satan: I'm going to go make babies and now everyone else has to deal with the consequences.

Anevka's living up to that whole "princess of hell" vibe. Tarvek's just like "nope nope nope I want the storm throne, not the hell throne, BYE MOM."

Satan's just feeling sinself down in hell like "awwww look at my babies go, aren't they adorable?"

Tarvek: Anevka, what... first off, how did you figure it out? Anevka: Well, I temporarily died when father put me in the machine, and... I can't say that hell kicked me out because they were afraid I'd take over, but mother DID say she'd rather I play about with human governments instead of Hell's. Tarvek: Okay, cool cool cool. What after you planning to DO with all these souls? Anevka: They make for some lovely reading lamps, don't they?

(Anevka absolutely sets herself the goal of acquiring new titles that rival her old ones, or even surpass them. She just black widows her way through Europa.)

I just want someone (probably Snackleford) to ascend, take one look at Tarvek, and run SCREAMING.

Tarvek still needed to be anchored to Higgs, because Tarvek is Baby.

Gil is eventually in a relationship with an Eternal God Queen and the Literal Son of Satan.

Family dinners can include ALL the in-laws if you duck down to hell! - You borrow Bill from... probably heaven, maybe purgatory. - You have Lu and Aaronev and Satan already there, though the first two... well. Aaronev and Lu get invited to dinner but they have to eat by themselves at the kiddy table and nobody talks to them or acknowledges their presence. After all, this is hell, and what better punishment for Lu than to be completely ignored, and for Aaronev to see Lu at her worst and be reminded that he gave everything for this horrible, horrible person who isn't even pretending to care about him anymore. - Zanta and Klaus get invited via portal. - Anevka saunters in with a blood-soaked dress and a complaint about militant demon-hunters refusing to let her go shopping for a new pair of shoes. - Zeetha tagged along with the OT3. (She can't wait to see this situation explode.)

Oh God, Satan is actually second place as far as good parenting goes.

Well, actually, fourth. Because Adam and Lilith. But second as far as bio parents go. 1. Zanta 2. Satan 3. Klaus 4/5. Lu and Aaronev N/A. Bill

Someone (Anevka) decides to stir the pot and invites Von Pinn, Terabithia, Bang.

Bang is basically Gil’s older sister, right? Right.

This is Zanta meeting Bang for the first time! Zanta is just: "It's so nice to meet my husband's adopted daughter." Klaus freezes. Bang freezes. Gil is the only one who is just. "Yeah." Meanwhile Zeetha is crying with laughter off to the side because both of them deserve this. (Zanta would legit love Bang though.)

Agatha: Tarvek, I think DuPree is-- Tarvek: Hitting on my sister? I know. Agatha: On your mom, actually. Tarvek: NO!

Also I do love the idea of like. Nobody tells Bang they're inviting her. She just wakes up in Hell like. "Ah. Yes. Fair enough."

Satan: Oh no no no my dear, you're here as a guest. Besides as well as you'd fit you're not one of mine, you've got other things waiting for you. Bang: Okay, but I love the decor. And is that Cheesecake?

Bang’s family has their own evil god in the novels, but! Bang DID pick on Tarvek a lot in Paris. Satan cares more than Anevka does. Bang might get the sexy punishment.

I feel like the fact that no permanent damage was done and it taught Tarvek a lot of things means Satan isn't gonna be all that upset about it.

And let's be real, if there's a character in GG who could look the literal Christian devil in the eye and be like "Yeah I tortured your kid, what're you going to do about it?" it's Bang.

Even Satan doesn't know what to do or think about Othar.

He sure is here! As Anevka’s arm candy! Nobody knows what to do except Anevka herself, who just wants to be Smug.

(What's that scene from Phineas and Ferb that's the mad scientist trapping the platypus within the rules of polite dining at a fine restaurant? Like he can't make a scene because that would be rude?) (That. Othar would dearly love to start a fight, but it's a Family Dinner. You're only allowed to fight verbally at those.)

(Othar isn't even fighting Satan, he just wants to argue with Klaus.) (And maybe fanboy in Bill's direction a bit).

[fromnibelheim]

[[MORE]]

Just had some Big Dreams gonna write it down

It started out with a boyfriend trying to convince me to talk to my ex so we could be on good terms. My ex and I had left on bad terms and there was a lot of bad blood and my new boyfriend felt bad and thought we should talk it out so we could at least not have that animosity and maybe even be friends. The way he put it was really sweet and he was so handsome and well dressed, with chocolate brown loosely curly hair and wearing a nice wool coat, good for dream me. We walked into a sporting goods store, where my ex worked I guess, and went to the elevator to the second floor. My bf was holding my hand and being really sweet and supportive bc i was nervous. We got into the elevator and it was surprisingly huge. Like the size of a room. And i noticed there was a woman at a desk in there who looked rather secretary like and I started to wonder what I was getting myself into.

When we got out of the elevator we were in this VERY fancy mid-century style office building where everything was honey-color stained hardwood and emerald green and gold and looked like it was straight out of the 1920s. I got WAY more nervous bc it was so fancy and everyone was wearing suits and I felt so out of place but my bf went right up to the counter and got a number for us to get called up to state out business or smth I guess. I was like wtf are you doing we cant do this! But he had already gotten the ticket so we sat down in some plush green velvet seats and waited. I realized I had no idea what my ex did but it was way more important than I'd thought. The man at the counter called our number and asked what our business was and I just got so nervous and didnt even know what position my ex had that I would answer him with, so I just said we were still waiting for someone. I think my mom showed up at one point. Eventually I was able to talk to the ex and he was some big hotshot but also a complete ass who acted like he didnt even remember us dating, even when I brought up specific events that happened. He had short blonde hair and just looked like a prick lmao. So we all left knowing it was resolved, maybe not in the best way but still resolved. On our way out we stopped to have tea in a cafe in the fancy office part of the building, and my mom told me that dreams were memories from all the other lives you're living right now. Not past lives, but memories of the universal. I remember she specifically said memories of the universal. Then the dream shifted.

I was in this new place I didnt recognize, lying in the floor covered in heavy ornately decorated blankets in a tiny japanese style room with a big monk sitting across from me chanting and praying to me. And I started shaking and crying bc I didnt know what was going on or why this guy would be praying TO me, and people were talking about remembering their other lives and who they really are and that I was lost and confused bc I didnt remember yet, and I figured that maybe if I could remember all the other lives I'd had and was living then my situation would make more sense, or at least id be more at peace with it.

I was given a letter that didnt really mean much to me bc I couldnt decipher it as it was mostly a series of small images. A group of young people around our age came in, attracted by the letter and all saying how surprised they were to see it and that it was safe and survived, as if it had been through some huge ordeal just to get here. They came right over to me to look at it as I'd laid it out right in front of me, and I pulled one of the blankets I had wrapped around me over the side of my face bc I didnt want them to see me upset. One of them came over and sat down by me. He had beautiful pale hands and I reached out and grabbed his hand and he hugged me tight. I didnt remember who he was but I knew he was important to me and that I had loved him before and I just felt like as long as he was there everything would be alright. After a while though that group left and I was alone in my tiny room, locked in. I remembered a spell someone had told me for finding things and I used it to summon the key to free myself and flew out the window. I jumped out and just started flying. I wasnt sure if I could but I put as much force into it as I could and was able to clumsily fly just above everyone in the little town I was in. The big monk and a couple other people chased after me but I quickly outran them. Then I just focused on flying. I think I was some type of angel or something since i actually had wings, and could feel the air gliding over them as i flew. It felt really nice and refreshing. Then there was another shift.

I ended up in this enormous indoor city, like a mega mall but it never seemed to end. It seemed to go up infinitely high too, and there like three were ornate cathedrals like St Patrick's Cathedral within a couple blocks of each other. I flew around the cathedrals and looked in and listened to the people talking, and inside they were more like luxury restaurants than churches, but anyway. I heard an old woman saying that they had reached their capacity as a race and no one grew old anymore. Because of this they stopped having children and no longer had the desire to give birth, which made sense to me but was surprising. I flew away from the cathedrals into a much more densely populated part of the indoor city which still had the structure of a mall just on a much more massive scale and was more technology advanced. It looked like they were having some kind of parade. I was trying to find someone, probably the people from before, but it was too loud and crowded.

I moved on and came across this group that was having a standoff. They looked like they were in a cyberpunk style gang or something and one of them pulled out a lasergun and was threatening innocent bystanders. I watched them from under the suspended walkway they were on and went from under to try to use magic to freeze them in place, but it wasnt strong enough. They caught onto me and started to chase me.

The rest of the dream was me running from them, dodging laser fire and trying to fly fast enough to put some distance between us. I ducked into shops, chased one of them into a shop at one point, even jumped onto the top of a giant fast moving train to get away, etc.

I tried to fool them at one point and it almost worked, but they came back and caught on. At that point I was wounded and didnt have much energy left to fight but for some reason they didnt kill me. I think we may have had one last battle or they retreated but either way I came out of it alive and finally was free of them and made it back to the group of friends I had been trying to find that entire time. Although at that point I was so hurt I couldnt even stand, let alone fly, so they all helped me along and carried me.

Not much worth noting happened in the dream after that. I got a bit better, we ended up in a really cute shop that had a secret base where you go down this ladder into the next floor down that had a really cute cozy circle bed with plushies on it and string lights that would have been a perfect place for taking insta pics, and then I wandered into a shop that was all dark stained hardwood and cases and cases of antique china and crystal glassware. I went back into the first shop and then woke up.

[probablybackstoryrpgideas]

The story of Thorin Dankil

Im @deliciouslycookingrpgideas This is the backstory of my current character.

(Please note that i had not seen the hobbit yet and didnt know who Thorin Oakenshield was when I named my char)

Hey here ya go. Its 6,000 or so words and if backstory wishes I will make a more readable post about this lol [Mod Note: Thank you so much for submitting! This was a wonderful read, I can tell how much love and time you put into it, so I’m honored to have this as the first submission to the blog.]

This is Thorin Dankil’s Backstory

I was an average young lad. Bright, strong, with an insatiable curiosity. I grew up loved, in a large household, with five siblings, Jensora, Merlyn, Magdal, Tornar, and Emnyl, two parents Barrik and Tizra; it was always hectic. And for his part, Barrik raised his children to be true dwarves, ale drinkin and bar fightin and all. Tizra also raised them when Barrik was away at the war. As they grew, the Dankil family seemed to be at peace.

Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked. One hundred years passed and there is a new avatar, an airbender named Aang. While his airbending skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe, Aang can save the world

Jensora (f) and Tornar (m) were twins and the eldests. I was next, and following me was Merlyn (f), then Magdal (m), then Emnyl (f).

Well, the war was goin pretty great. We seemed to be winning. But the elves were great strategists, and even though we were winning, we suffered heavy losses. My father Barrik was among them, or at least he was M.I.A. Around this time my mother Tizra was not taking his death well, even though she knew he went on to a better place. I stepped up and helped out when my siblings could not. I learned I had an immense affinity for cooking, and held a cook off every two weeks, which always seemed to raise some spirits. I could whip up a delicious meal for seven with two zucchini, a tomato and a chicken. And if I added rice, it became a meal for twelve.

As I helped my mother with her grief, I found myself around the church often, and helped Father Beldar with his duties, since he was elderly and mother preferred to grieve alone. I became knowledged about the faith, and even though I had always believed, I found that I really understood everything. I found myself really considering joining the faith, but between my siblings being artisans of sorts and soldiers and scholars and whatnots, and no one to take care of my mother except Emnyl, and myself being reigning champ of the whole county in our annual cook offs for twenty one years running, I had alot on my plate to begin with.

I decided to just try out the faith and if it didn’t work out for me then I would be a chef. So I went to learn more about the faith at the school in Bhaledur about ten miles away. When I went there, I was amazed with how many people could be in one place and not know each other. I found the church easily, and was amazed at how many books were there, and became intent on learning to read them. I also really enjoyed learning of clerics who could, through devotion, conjure great feats of magic, perhaps even raise the dead.

And when I talked with my classmates (which I will get into in a moment) (well, only one of them i suppose ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ), I found many of them had things in common with me. Saweryn Thoras gave me a run for my money as best chef in town, and we spent many a night trying to one up each other. Seja Gorotan and I shared an interest in the magical aspect of school, and we shared several long nights in a back closet, (explained why not our rooms in a moment) learning the ins and outs of the magic process.

Despite being a large facility, we had to share rooms with another person, genders being separated, which makes sense for the most part. Though as far as I understood, copulation among non married people or even among priests was never frowned upon.

This was where I met Gadrin Branka. This son of a bitch was going to be the cause of a lot of my inner turmoil. He was devilishly handsome, I mean the guy could turn and wink and you’d be as mud in his hands, he could do anything he wanted with you. He was a fencer. An award winning one too. He also had a heart of gold, he was the kindest person I met, excluding a few key individuals. And damn did he have pipes. The man could sing a tune and the mountains themselves would be so moved they cried. Gadrin was going to be my best friend for years. We had all but one class together, him having conversion: bringing others to the faith and me having medical herbology.

Gadrin and I were inseparable. We spent almost every moment together when not with other students, and even then we were constantly together. We would sleep, eat, study, and party together. We were so close we could tell people stories about the other’s great grandmother.  

It changed a bit on the third friday after I took the big herbology test in my third year there. It was a normal friday, we (Gadrin and myself) would go to class and then off to Saweryn Thoras’s home to party. Well, Gadrin and I had a bit too much to drink, even for dwarves. And, after an embarrassing game of stack the dwarf, (which Gadrin and I lost btw) we all played a version of truth or dare. Well it went great, a few dares here concerning the plant in the corner of the room, a few truths about crushes and such there. But then Seja Gorotan (now Saweryn’s gf btw) had a brilliant idea. So she dared Gadrin to kiss me. And he turned and gave me that stare that I can still feel today, ooh mama he was hot. Well we lock eye contact, and he goes in for it. Well I’m sure as hell not stoppin him so we lock lips and go for it. It was a few minutes later when I was called on to say truth or dare when I realized we were still kissing. We broke apart and I could tell Gadrin was hoping it could continue much longer. I winked at him and made some remark about continuing later and he brightened up considerably, much to the amusement of our host. But we continued to play the game and eventually moved on to a version of five dragon ante, which I failed miserably at. Both Gadrin and I were terrible at cards. We could bullshit like no body’s business, but as far as the game, we were both shit drunk. We found ourselves back at the complex and fell asleep in the same bed, Gadrin’s arm nestled neatly around me as we cuddled. We didn’t talk about it for a few days bc we both knew we liked it, but Gadrin (I) needed a bit of time to process what this meant.

After we discussed it, we started dating slowly and were more inseparable than before. It annoyed our single friends so much they would deliberately sit in between us just so they wouldn’t have to look as we cuddled, much to our amusement.

It was customary that clerics served in the military as medical personnel for a few years before moving on to see if we had a calling for it. So Gadrin and I requested to be put on the same post so we could have someone to screw around with. Well we got it, but at the front lines. It was hard work. When we weren’t in the med tent performing miracles for soldiers with almost no supplies, we were sleeping or eating. I once had to make a poultice with only half the potency because we had to ration the damn herbs. And it certainly didn’t help that the cook couldn’t make half decent food with twice the ingredients. So for a week on my one break a day I would go there to show him how to cook decently in hopes of making the food better. It improved sharply and I was commended for it. Gadrin and I didn’t have much time together, but when we could we would hang out.

But then we were transferred. We moved further south, to a different front line post. We became intensely good at healing soldiers, myself surpassing Gadrin. But we were the only two medics for three whole battalions of soldiers. For reference, a battalion is around 300 to 800 soldiers. So we had our work cut out for us. I found myself sleeping in the med tent so when I woke up I could help out immediately, and Id send a wounded but walking man to grab me some victuals (food) and give Gadrin a kiss for me, which the wounded man thought was hilarious.

To tell the truth, it was going very well, and besides the backbreaking work, the dwarven army seemed to be winning. We’d lose a battle here and there, but not usually very badly. But this changed at the battle of Forgebar Hill. We had pushed hard and gained about seven miles of ground into enemy territory, and the rest of the front line was right behind us, Gadrin and I working on people even as we moved. We jumped camps a few times and helped the most seriously injured soldiers, getting thanks and respect as we went. I found that if I asked Pelor for assistance in healing, the soldiers seemed to heal twice as fast as before. So every day I would sit and thank Pelor for the new day and the opportunity to help others. If a soldier was gravely ill, I could ask Pelor for help and the man would be miraculously saved, his wounds healing dramatically before my very eyes. Modern medicine working only so well, I knew Pelor and His allies were watching us.

But Forgebar Hill was different. As soon as we saw it, it made us all uneasy. No one could tell why, but it held about it the air of the unknown. As we approached it we stopped upon the hill, a momentary lapse in moving to see what we could upon it. We stood on top and could see the spires of an Elven city in the distance. Behind us, we could see the mountains many call home. It was a momentary calm, and we heard shouts as a scouting patrol returning. We ran down the hill and a bloodied scout with only one arm came up to us, shouting that we should turn back. I fixed him up and asked him what was coming, but he couldn’t speak, he was so petrified (that means scared). We sent another scouting patrol out to find what did this to him, for the elves never removed limbs and left a man, they would always either capture or kill, no maiming unless necessary. I respected the elves for that.

When two hours had passed and I had run out of men to patch up, we still had not heard from the scouts so we decided to march on and deal with the problem ourselves. As we approached a large glade, we heard the familiar sounds of battle, but we had sent no troops to this area yet, only six scouts, one of which returned. We looked and saw a small elven unit fighting a rather large group of ogres. They were heavily outnumbered and were suffering heavy losses. But as our group looked closer, we noticed several things. The elves were protecting their wounded, who were crawling away from battle. They were also protecting two hurt dwarven scouts. A murmur went through the ranks and we decided that in this instance elves and dwarves would fight together.

With a war cry, our soldiers ran from the woods and fought the ogres. The battle was hard and long, our soldiers falling and barely clinging to life as I struggled to have the strength to continue healing. I lost sight of Gadrin. The elven reinforcements came and we fought for hours side by side until the ogre shaman arrived. With a whoop, the despicable creature could maim twenty soldiers; with a yell, heal his own from the brink of death. The shaman was also up almost in the front lines, smashing in skulls with his club and casting spells when needed.

We were losing, even with the reinforcements. Another cry from the shaman and our last few soldiers fell. Myself and an elven cleric were the only two left standing. Thinking that the only way to get out is to pray, I start praying to Pelor fervently, asking him for assistance in any way he sees fit as part of his plan, and if I should die, I would be at peace with it, for it was His will. Suddenly, I felt a great power fill me, revitalizing myself (filling me up with energy), and I stood tall, as if I had just eaten breakfast and was ready for a long day’s work. I knew exactly what to do. With a supernatural vigor, I ran at the enemy, catching them off guard with my battle cry. I screamed words I didn’t recognize and my armor shone like the sun. (This was pre-shield, which I’ll get into later). Our soldiers started standing up, their wounds and limbs healing as they stood, bringing them back to life, fresh for battle.

The enemy seemed shaken by this sudden display of raw power. Our troops pushed into them, advancing and cutting them down where they stood. It was a slaughter. We killed the whole tribe of ogres and sustained no losses. When I had realized this, I also realized my armor was no longer glowing, and I felt a little light headed. I thanked Pelor, and almost passed out where I stood, but there was another thing to take care of. Our forces split into elves and dwarves once more, and we stood there staring at each other for a long time. I think we had all decided that elves, or at least these elves, were alright, and both our parties spent the next day celebrating the victory.  

Our group then sent the other to go back to their council and bring ambassadors to this spot, and we could stop this war. Well we went back to the dwarven council of elders and got an ambassador, learning that similar things had been happening all across the borders, and that evil creatures, ogres, goblins, trolls, etc were becoming more aggressive, thinking themselves able to overtake the elves or the dwarves as we focused on the war. Well, this was not going to happen. We stopped fighting the elves and worked with them to fight back the evil, then we celebrated the end of the war.

After the celebrating, it was time to come home. So Gadrin and I went back to the town we first met, (Bhaledur) promising to return once we met with our families. We parted ways and left.

At home, a small town called Vol Tarum, I was praised as a hero. And, while not entirely incorrect, I attributed my success to Pelor. I reunited with my family, Tizra, Emnyl, Jensora and Tornar, Magdal, and Merlyn. Mother seemed very happy and it was nice to see her smile so much. We spent a week just enjoying company and sharing stories of work and adventures and such. It was nice to get to meet everyone again, since I had been gone for three years, only occasionally returning for the four years prior. I fixed wonderful meals, and our town celebrated for a few days. We felt the need to return to our crafts and churches and adventures, and our little family parted ways again.  

I met back up with Gadrin, who had been waiting for a few days. I apologized and we spoke for hours about our various siblings and how we felt and we had fun. We took jobs as helpers around the church, teaching classes here, leading sermons there, the occasional exorcism or resurrection, fun stuff.

A few weeks later, I reflected on my time with Gadrin, for we had spent seven years together, and they were wonderful. We have been through college, dating, war, we were inseparable. And so I decided that we would lay low for a bit, then I would ask Gadrin to marry me.

So for a few months we worked and drank and learned more and lived our lives, Gadrin and I still maintaining our wonderful bond. Well, I had decided it was time when he spent one afternoon planning a very romantic steak dinner that he cooked himself, and we had a very fun night afterwards, definitely playing scrabble and not any other activities. [Author’s note: For readers of this story, playing scrabble means fucking]

So I told him I was leaving to see my folks again and left to go follow dwarven marriage custom.

In dwarven marriage custom, a proposal is not usually done with a ring, because it has no practical purpose. We give each other things to help, like a fancy new sword, or perhaps a new axe for firewood. These things are often hand crafted, and sometimes multiple items are given, though only one is used for the proposal.  

I knew that i needed to give him something special, but for the life of me I couldn’t think of anything. Then it hit me. I should do two things for him. One, make him a sword. Two, write him a song. I am only mildly musically talented, but he sings beautifully, so it would be nice to do this for him.  

I headed up to the spire of the church that night to help me think, and it was cool. The lights were twinkling like stars, and the stars shone like the moon, and the moon glowed beautifully.  

As I sat there pondering my options, one of the stars shown a bit harder than the others. It seemed to be getting brighter and larger. I looked closer and it seemed to look closer at me. I was confused, then realized this star was falling. It was coming at the ground. I watched in awe as it streaked down across the sky and crashed about two large hills away from town. I felt compelled to go see what a star looked like up close, so I got down and went, riding a horse the few mile distance.

I arrived at the crater, peering inside and seeing a glowing rock, white and black patches all over it. It was sizable, large enough to fit two dwarves in there. It looked peculiar, and I looked closer. It looked movable, and I immediately knew what to make for Gadrin. I could see myself forging a sword and a few sets of rings, perhaps a dagger or something out of it.

I went back to town and bought a wagon, returning and taking the fallen star. I took it to Sluwth Peak, where the huge forge is. Many people come here to create gifts for their partner.

There, I ran into Seja Gorotan again. I had last seen her in college. After exchanging pleasantries, she apparently had just made a silver hand trowel for Saweryn, her soon to be husband, with any luck. During the war they had been separated but found each other afterwards. Apparently they had the same idea that I had. She wished me luck and pointed me to a smaller shack, connected to the mountain off to the side of the path. She said that while it wasn’t traditional, it might be better than waiting for the big forge up top. So I took my wagon off to the side and into the shack. As I walked, I saw a person leave and I could’ve sworn they looked just like Gadrin.

The room was huge, going into the mountain. It was filled with hundreds of tools, weapons, metals, labels for everything. There was a huge forge, burning white hot with molten metal. There was a large gruff dwarf there, clearly an ancient mountain dwarf (not a bad thing of course, just less homely in my opinion) [Author’s note: the char is a hill dwarf]. He was working with a hammer larger than most children, and was pounding out what seemed to be an enormous great axe, large enough to be used by a dire ogre, if there was such a thing. He pounded and stuck it into water and heated it and pounded for awhile. I stood there admiring his handiwork for a few minutes, and he finished working on the great axe, plunging it into the water for the final time.

Without looking, he asked me what I was doing in his place. I replied, explaining what I had planned to do, and my conversation with Seja. He nodded, and asked me to be quiet for a moment. He took this great great axe and put it into a large stand on the other side of the room, with many jars and spices and herbs and scrolls around it, neatly categorized by the look of it. He set the axe upon the stand, then took an empty jar and filled it with a pinch of this spice, a sprig of that herb, and filled it with water. He mixed it all up into a thick paste, and spread it over the blade, reading from a scroll as he did so. It was partly in druidic, and partly in a language I had never heard of, and couldn’t recognize its words. If I had to guess, it was old. Eldritch old. When he was done, the paste evaporated and the axe gleamed as though in the sun. He wrapped it in a thick, white cloth, then set it against a wall, writing T. M. on it.

He turned to me, and I noticed immediately that he had a scar on his left cheek, and he wore an piece of cloth over that eye. He asked me where the star was and I pointed to the large wagon I left in the entryway. He nodded as he looked over the star. He told me it was called a meteorite. He said he had worked with it before, and knew what to do.

For hours, I labored at that rock, breaking it and melting it down into a molten state. I forged a wonderful rapier, shaping it and cooling it, heating it and shaping it again. It took hours, but that sword was the strongest thing I had ever seen. I set a piece of tiger eye in the hilt since it was Gadrin’s favorite gem.

Once it was done, the old man took the sword, setting it on the same stand as he had the great axe. He spoke similar, but not the same words as before, grabbing different spices and herbs and he filled the jar with water and spread the paste. The rapier shown as the axe did and he covered it with a cloth, placing it next to the axe and writing a T. D. on it, which I can only guess stood for my name. I then got to work on the rings. I fashioned a ring twice the length as a normal ring, and was told later I’d split it in two, as directed by the old man.

Once it was done, I admired my own handiwork. The ring was intricate, with winding bands of meteorite. The man took it and set it on the stand. He grabbed many spices and herbs, and then grabbed a box from behind the forge. He poured in a purple goo instead of water, and dropped the ring into the mix, saying words that seemed more dramatic than the others. The jar glowed and the air had a hum to it, and then it stopped. He wrapped the ring in a blue cloth and set it on the table, writing a T. D. on it. I asked what the purple goo stuff was for, and he just smiled a toothy grin and didn’t answer.

I made a dagger, and then a mace, using the same procedure. For the dagger, he did the same thing as for the axe and the rapier. For the mace, he did a similar thing as the ring. When I asked him once more what the goo was for, he smiled and grinned, but he told me it would come in handy when it needed to. I don’t know what that meant, but he seemed sure, so I didn’t clarify. I split the ring at his direction and it split perfectly in two, with no rough edges.

I kept the rest of the meteorite in case I needed to make something else, and said farewell to the old man. I left with my items and went to try to write a song for my love.

It was not going well. I had zero inspiration and was wandering the countryside and couldn’t think of anything. I climbed a big hill and sat under the tree, trying to think of anything to make into a song.

I had more or less an idea of what to write, but I had a hard time thinking of it. I would write some down, and at this point I had this much done:

Gadrin my friend as I see you right there, I reflect on the time that I’ve spent with you here, From college to war and to death and then back, I realize the only thing that I do lack, I have riches and armors and food stuffs galore, And work and my friends and the priests of Pelor, I have everything that I could want in the land, The one thing that I want left is your hand.

It sounded pretty great, and I hit a roadblock so I changed locations again. I went to a lake and went out on a boat, lying there and wondering.

I hit inspiration again and finished my song.

I wrote this fair song right on here just for you, In the hope that you feel just the same as I do, We both do a lot, keep the other from harm, But now I just want to be here in your arms, I wrote you this song and then forged you a sword, And I hope that I make you feel like you’re a lord, Now there is one thing left my husband to be, My dear old friend Gadrin would you marry me?

I decided this was pretty great and headed on home to ask my friend to marry me.

So I headed on back to Bhaledur and entered our little home in the church. I was shocked to find Gadrin was not there, since it was around eight and we always would come back to mess around before we left for drinkin. Well I decided to look around our house. We had the wicker seats around the table, the strong oak table, the intricate lighting fixture. I went in the kitchen, the pots and pans and such sittin there like always. As I passed the bedroom, I decided to unpack and put everything away. I decided to stash the rapier under the bed, and found a large, blue cloth covered item, sittin there under our bed. I recognized the cloth as the same that the rings were in, and it had a G. B. on it. Realizing that that had meant the person I saw at Sluwth Peak was Gadrin, I knew he meant to ask me as well. I thought for a moment, and knew exactly what to do.

I took the sword, the rings, and Gadrin’s guitar with me as I left the house. I went to the little shop just outside the church and bought a large amount of candles. I went back to the house and made sure Gadrin hadn’t shown up yet. I left a note on the table, telling Gadrin to follow the candles. I started lighting candles and leaving a trail to the staircase, and up to the high spire of the church. I lit a ring on the edge of the spire and sat, strumming the guitar to the tune of my song.  

I waited for about fifteen minutes, then heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I sat up, strumming the guitar as the person walked up the steps. I saw Gadrin’s face and immediately grinned in response to his slightly confused expression. I waited for him to come all the way up and then started my song.  

“Gadrin my friend as I see you right there, I reflect on the time that I’ve spent with you here, From college to war and to death and then back, I realize the only thing that I do lack, I have riches and armors and food stuffs galore, And work and my friends and the priests of Pelor, I have everything that I could want in the land, The one thing that I want left is your hand.

I wrote this fair song right on here just for you, In the hope that you feel just the same as I do, We both do a lot, keep the other from harm, But now I just want to be here in your arms, I wrote you this song and then forged you a sword, And I hope that I make you feel like you’re a lord, Now there is one thing left my husband to be, My dear old friend Gadrin would you marry me?”

He looked stunned, and I presented the rings to him. He took one, still not speaking, and looked at it. He put in on his finger and looked at it some more. He then fixed his gaze upon me and breathed a “yes”, understandably still a bit stunned by my song and the candles and everything. I put my ring on and they glowed a light purple for a moment before quieting down. He asked me if I had met the old man with the scar as well and I had. I walked up to him, looking into his deep brown eyes. We passionately kissed. When we finished, I pulled away to bring him the sword, unveiling it and handing it to him. He swung it about and such as a sword lover ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) might do, and voiced his admiration for my handiwork, telling me it was perfectly balanced.

We went back to our home and he told me to wait. He went and grabbed two things from the bedroom. He unwrapped one of them (both blue), revealing a frying pan. I held it, noticing it had a heft to it, but wasn’t unusable. It was actually really sweet he thought of that. I still have that pan, and use it all the time. Then he revealed a beautiful shield, intricately made and strong. It was a circular shield. It held my personal favorite symbol of Pelor, the circle with the points, which was raised and placed upon the metallic sheen of silver (the silver covering a stronger metal) as a nice golden contrast. It had runic symbols on the edges in celestial. They read something along the lines of “Great Pelor, protect the wielder from all forces of Evil, and help him/her to destroy it, wherever he/she may go.” It was a nice prayer, and for a moment, when I picked it up, it glowed.

Well, as in unspoken tradition, we played scrabble for a long while and slept in the next day. We announced it to our friends and family the next day, and got married two weeks later.  

For our honeymoon, we went to Trilik Slopes. We saw these beautiful spires of stone, that seemed to be as red as fire in the morning, the light of the sun glinting off of it very well.  

Then we went camping in the Ice Caves. We saw wonderful icicles and ice covered stalagmites and stalactites. We camped for a week. At one point, while climbing around in the caves, I passed an ice sculpture that looked strikingly like Pelor’s face. I turned to point it out to Gadrin but he was nowhere to be found. I turned back to the ice, and heard a voice in my head.

Unknown speaker: Thorin Dankil. Me: Yes? US: You told me once that if I helped you, you would do anything for me. I am calling upon you now.   Me: Pelor? US: I am. Me: What may I do for you? P: I need you to leave for the ogre border in twelve days’ time. Me: Of course My Lord. Thank you for being so generous with the time. P: Remember, leave in twelve days’ time.

I returned to Gadrin and broke the news. He took it well, considering I might not return. Well I said goodbye to my family, and packed heavily. I left the meteorite with Gadrin, but I took most of our kitchen, my shield, my mace, several other things. And I left, traveling right to the border, and beyond.

About three miles in, I came across a not entirely uncommon sight. There was a large wagon that looked to be broken in by several ogres, judging by the amount of smashing done. It was burned at parts, indicating a shaman, so I was on my guard. Ya gotta always be on your guard around shamans. As I walked further along the trail, I found the ogre shaman, but with his head smashed in. By a war hammer to the looks of it. He was just lying there dead as a doornail, and I had respect for anyone who could take one out so efficiently as one blow, since I myself had seen the damage these creatures could do. Well I took the gold and spell things and such from his pockets, and continued along my way. Later, I saw a dwarf trying to take on no less than three ogres at the same time. It was actually impressive. He traded blows, this swipe went to that ogre, and this one to this ogre, and this one smashed in the skull of one of em. He took one down with his war hammer and continued. I decided to speak before helping, just in case it mattered.  

Me: Hey.   Unknown Dwarf: Hey.   Me: You need some help there?   UD: Nah I’m good. Me: You sure? UD: *getting pummeled by ogres* Yeah I’m sure. Mosey along Me: So what’s your name, stranger? UD: My name’s Braelof, don’t wear it *gets sucker punched* ooph. Out Me: Alrighty then *decides to help* Me&B: *take them down* B: I had ‘em on the ropes ya know, I didn’t need your help Me: yeah yeah i know. Hey, I’m on a quest for Pelor, any chance you’d like to come along? There’s gold and treasure and eternal glory in it for ya B: Fine. But I still had ‘em Me: alright

We left the ogre lands, leaving along the coast to a port town, where I met with other Priests and conversed with them. They suggested following the coast until something changed, for that was what they had done in their adventuring years. They reminisced for a while, and Braelof and I were on our way, picking up odd jobs like “save my daughter from the cave bear” and “return my family heirloom to me” and such.

Well later Braelof and I met up with Selidor, and he can tell you that story, and then Mialee, who can as well. And obviously you know how you got here, Myrtle.

[Author’s note: Myrtle is my adopted 6 or 7 year old daughter]

So yeah thanks for reading about me n such. Im suprised this all fit lol

[blookmallow]

some misplaced thoughts/attempted half-formed analysis on outlast 2, im not finished with it yet so im still missing half the information here but do NOT tell me about anything that happens later on dont fill in my blanks for me just yet ill find out (or ill reconsider my thoughts at the end if im wrong/if things get left unclear) 

im currently just a bit past the raft adventure, havent quite caught up my liveblogs yet bc transferring switch pics and sorting through them all takes 11 thousand years

this is. very disorganized and so many words, my thoughts are all over the place but i had to get it out somewhere lmao

ok so some key symbols ive noticed:

- obviously hanging/noose imagery

- again obviously, crucifixion/christ 

- water, most likely symbolic baptism 

- both of those last two things together in an overall “christian/catholic symbols but Horribly, Horribly Wrong” 

- the plagues!!!!!! i noticed some reference to this but recently realized i think we’re being forced through ALL of them actually 

so:

- again the hanging imagery is an obvious one, blake is (very poorly) coping with the trauma he experienced as a kid (or high school student. i was under the impression they were middle schoolers for some reason but high school is still a young age to be dealing with something like that) surrounding his friend’s suicide, he clearly feels like he’s somehow responsible for it, possibly only because he didn’t stop it, but it doesn’t seem like he really could have done anything. this trauma is absolutely resurfacing through all he’s going through now and it feels like his past and current pain are starting to converge more and more as time goes on. honestly even if there wasn’t some weird fucked up mystery going on and it was just a symbolic representation of him reliving his trauma id still think its absolutely fascinating and really well done but it seems like there’s definitely More Going On than just that 

this is something im going to make specific notes on when i do a story mode replay, note every time hanging shows up... some ive noticed: occurrences of hanging in the temple gate/”real world” often bizarrely coincide with blake’s salvation, he’s able to get away from the scalled leader by stealing the rope off the corpse of a man who hung himself, there’s a hanged corpse right near where the raft ends up when he crashes it on the river

there’s definitely some “somebody else died so that I could live” going on there, I don’t know if that’s directly related to the incident with jessica or not yet 

and that again ties into the crucifixion, the death of Jesus brings about salvation and life for everyone else (and, while he was not hanged, there’s still “hanging” on a cross, and the cross is often referred to as a “tree”) (it doesn’t seem like jessica hung herself from a tree but the other corpses have been) 

- obvious again, the crucifixion is showing up absolutely everywhere, clear sacrifice/murder for the greater good concepts, im not catholic but i am coming at this from a christian perspective myself, and like. on the one hand it’s taking very important religious imagery and hideously distorting it into “now we got the flayed corpses of cultists stuck everywhere” but on the other I think it’s actually... really important not to forget that the cross was in fact an execution tool, the death of christ was a horrific, bloody, and cruel event that would have been absolutely revolting to witness and unfathomably painful to experience 

and the sanitized, pretty, kid-friendly image of the cross you so commonly see in churches now really disconnects from the reality of it. a mutilated corpse rotting on a splintered, bloody piece of wood is a much more realistic image, for better or worse, than a little neon plastic WWJD toy cross. i dont actually think the crucifix imagery here is sacrilegious at all. obviously the cultists are fucking monsters but im talking about specifically the use of crucifix imagery here. the parallels with the unsettlingly realistic jesus statues (and the fact that they show up both in temple gate and in the high school hallucinations especially) is like. actually pretty solid. i dont want to get into religious debate with anyone so im not gonna get too deep into that but i wanted to mention it 

- there’s also blake as an unwilling “messiah” figure (which. hes literally declared “the skalled christ” so this isn’t exactly subtle lmao) and. i dont know exactly what his religious standing is but we do know he was raised catholic, and like. it was quite an intense and harrowing experience to me, as a christian, watching the skalled crucifixion scene through his perspective, so i cannot even imagine what it would have been like for him to actually be in that position for real experiencing it himself. and we have the. jesus Knowing what was going to happen, dreading and wishing he could escape it, but resigning to it/blake absolutely wanting no fucking part in any of this and literally tearing his hands out of the nails, jesus resurrecting from the grave/blake digging his way out of his “grave” (though he wasnt actually dead), i dont really have any deeper observation to make there i just think its interesting 

- i do not know whats going on with water! something is! i wasnt paying much attention to water before so this is probably another thing ill be watching for/making notes on in my eventual story mode replay but Something Is Very Wrong About That Lake and i keep getting murdered by the Whatever THe Fuck That Thing Is in water, either from falling in the lake/the river or there’s that pool scene in the high school

seems like there’s some kind of... chemicals in the water causing weird shit but i dont know whats going on yet (dont tell me!), so there’s probably something about baptism/entering the water and leaving fundamentally changed somehow but in a Very Wrong sense, but i dont have all the information yet so im just blindly guessing. and we got piles of dead fish in the water very soon before you see piles of human corpses in the water, that as well,

and along that line:

- the plagues!! i cant believe i didnt realize we’re going through the plagues! i had noticed some reference to them but figured it was just more weird religious imagery for the aesthetic or something and didn’t quite realize we’re actually hitting all of them, they’re not necessarily happening in order but they sure are happening: 

water turning to blood: we’re surrounded in blood from the start but this was what really made me start fucking paying attention because where im at right now it is RAINING BLOOD SOME FUCKING HOW 

I have no IDEA how that’s happening in the “real world” unless it’s like. not really blood and some kind of chemical reaction with whatevers going on with the water, or if its some mass hallucination thing, or what (again dont tell me!! i want to find out!! shh!!!!) but, uh, that’s a pretty clear “water into blood” situation there, 

this one also is happening simultaneously with the high school dimension, all the water in the bathroom and the fire sprinklers all became blood, and you get fucking drenched in it, so there’s probably some amount of “baptism of blood” happening there too

plague of flies: i dont remember there being any specific moment where you get overwhelmed by flies but its possible it happened and i forgot, but either way you hear flies buzzing around constantly, it gets in your head, theres flies everywhere because of the gore piles rotting all over everywhere 

disease on livestock: there’s dead rotting cow/horse carcasses absolutely everywhere, so,

plague of boils: the skalled village, may not be Specifically boils but they’re definitely uh. very, very diseased 

plague of locusts: you get attacked by a shit ton of locusts and fall into the ravine, this one’s, uh. pretty blatant 

plague of darkness: you’re stuck in the dark for the entire everything, so

there’s also an instance in the high school dimension where everything goes black and you cannot see anything whatsoever and can’t do anything but follow jessica’s voice and hope to god you don’t run into That Thing Again

the only ones I haven’t seen yet are the plague of frogs, gnats/lice which i completely forgot was even a plague but apparently was (though again this could just be included in with the general “everything is covered in flies and god knows what” happening everywhere), hail/fire storms (though you do get attacked by flaming arrows, so that could count)(that also happens in the skalled village/shortly after you discover the skalled, so that would be in order), and... the death of the firstborn

the exact order of the other plagues isn’t necessarily all that important but that one as the final plague is very important and it definitely feels like they could be building up to that 

so it’s. likely something really, really bad is gonna happen with lynn by the end of all this

(do NOT!! tell me!!! dont!!! do not) 

also a minor thing but i did notice blake at one point goes “these are signs!! this is the apocalypse!!” and, like, maybe that’s just because he’s obviously not in his right mind right now/it wasn’t supposed to be taken that seriously but the plagues on egypt were not signs of the apocalypse, but signs displaying the power of God to the pharoah, a “let the slaves go free Or Else” demonstration, and blake as someone who grew up in catholic school would know this, but that could just be like. a minor writing error or just. biblical accuracy isnt really his first priority right now lmao