#bc on the one hand it really makes sense to comment on how the narrative voice is the one that makes judgement statements most of the time

[ancientrimer]

i can't believe this keeps happening to me. i figure out a theory i think i might want to apply in my thesis, go look at the text that has the theory, and find that that text already mentions jane eyre

[khruschevshoe]

OFMD Critique: Finales, Writing Backwards, and the Importance of Building Relationships

Continuing on the rambling meta bc it turns out there are a couple of people that responded well to my initial thoughts...

Am I the only one that felt like the OFMD Season 2 finale suffered from the exact same problem as the Game of Thrones or the How I Met Your Mother Season finales? Well, not exactly the same, but lemme explain.

The treatment of Izzy Hands in Season 2 of OFMD feels like when they sat down to write this season, they wrote his death scene first (for whatever reasons that might be, though likely for the sake of Ed's arc- we're not going to address my feelings on THAT rn), THEN backfilled his arc for the rest of the season based on that, but then didn't rewrite his death scene to address the stuff that organically happened when writing the rest of the season.

Like, for example, I've seen plenty of people point out that the deathbed apology from Izzy to Ed doesn't really work (I fed your darkness) both in regards to the sheer imbalance of damage shown onscreen between Ed and Izzy, but also doesn't work as a "putting Blackbeard behind us" scene when Izzy figuratively (and literally, if you count him as part of the group with the cannonball) killed his half of Blackbeard in the storm scene in 2x2, with whatever parts lingering in him killed with the unicorn scene in 2x4. After this point, his arc and his focus has very, very little to do with Blackbeard or hell, Ed in general besides the couple of comments made to Ed and Stede that cement that Izzy is happy that Ed moved on and found someone that makes him happy.

Izzy's arc has left Blackbeard behind already. He has already hit the emotional beat that the finale wants to retread.

And then the other part of his deathbed comments to Ed- "the crew loves you, Ed"- makes no sense from the Ed side of things. The show built up an arc for Izzy that would make people care when he died, but that arc was literally about the crew literally putting aside their differences/fear/distrust of each other to help, support, and accept Izzy as their figurehead, their protector, their friend, their recovery, their family, their (insert positive symbolism/metaphor for all of the VARIOUS implied flirtations here).

What did they have with Ed? Other than his moments with Stede and Fang, what relationships were built up before Izzy's death? Calypso's birthday included no scenes of the crew interacting with Ed other than the short Archie/Ed/Stede convo at the beginning. We get none of him talking to them when prepping for the party. He spends 2x7 and 2x8 with Stede, only having scenes with Stede, never building anything with the crew.

THE LAST SUBSTANTIAL INTERACTION ED HAS WITH THE CREW BEFORE IZZY DIES IS THE "INFLUENCER APOLOGY" IN 2X5 (other than with Fang in the boat). Holy shit, I didn't even realize that until I got to this point in the meta. I had realized that something felt wrong/off about the "the crew loves you line," but I thought that it was because 2x1-2x3 cast such a long shadow on the rest of the season that it was impossible to escape. No, there were cracks in the back half of the season as well.

All of which is to say: if you have to kill Izzy (which you really, really don't, btw, it makes little sense in a show where pretty much every character has survived a near death experience with nary a scratch, but for the sake of hypothetical), there is a way you can pull it off: you have the crew at Izzy's side as he dies instead of Ed. You have their relationship with Izzy at the forefront, because their relationship is the one that matters at this point in the narrative. You have Izzy die trying to save one of them, not by random gunshot.

And then after Izzy dies, you finally give the crew their agency back. You let Izzy's death be the last straw in THEIR arcs. You let them tell Ed that they cannot allow him to stay on the ship after everything. You let them tell him that they are putting their foot down, and he can go retire if he wants, but they will not let him destroy this crew anymore.

(Or, you know, you can have all of that with a death SCARE instead of an actual death, and allow Izzy to sail off into the sunset as a first mate instead of as a dead body. Because that would suit the tone of the show and the story better.)

But I have the feeling that point B (Izzy dying/his death scene) was the thing that was decided on first, and so the budget crunch/other factors may have led the writers into making the same mistake as so many before them have: writing point A out organically, and then failing to change Point B when it no longer fit the story they had written.

[morose-marble]

Incoherent ramble bc I have the brain worms about Apo

I am very annoying and also unwell, which is why I have taken to scrubbing through a not-insubstantial amount of episodes from Apo's lakorns (without subtitles) to form some kind of picture of what kind of roles he was cast in while employed by channel 3, and sending screen caps to literally anyone with a messaging app in my immediate social circle (they are in hell, thanks for asking). So, now that I have run out of people to torment with my obsessive tendencies, I am left with posting into the void on good ole tungle dot com.

So far, it seems that Apo's bread and butter was a wholesome, boy next door, nong type character (this is based on quite shaky interpretations of Sut Khaen Saen Rak, Buang Banjathorn, Chaat Payak and Prakasit Khammatep) with some exceptions, such as Tiang in Chat Suer Pun Mungkorn, a hot-headed young gangster. These aside, I have not yet formed a comprehensive understanding of his profile as an actor, as I can't seem to get my hands on some of the dramas at all.

The aforementioned roles were all supporting ones, and I could only find episodes for one of his two lead parts, that of Pong Khun Boon Jirakit in Pra Teap Rak Hang Jai, an enemies to lovers story(?). His character sells artisanal traditional Thai silk(?) and ends up falling for a rich woman (Preeyakarn Jaikanta) down on her luck who needs to become independent and better herself as a person(?). Quite a straightforward premise. (He wears a bunch of plaid in the show, he looks uncomfortable.)

Now. What I have noticed about Apo's career in supporting parts is that the male leads he supports are very...narrowly masculine, in comparison to him. Apo has talked about having faced homophobia/general cishet discriminatory nonsense in the industry at that time, and flicking through these shows really illuminates how rigid the concept of a lakorn romantic male lead was (maybe still is, I don't know). Obviously, I gathered that lakorn gender roles were a tad more conservative, but I still struggled slightly with understanding why Apo was treated the way he was, bc I feel like he is relatively conventionally masculine (my european perspective impacts my perception of what constitutes normative gender roles, I know) to the point where picking up on any ~queer~ vibes would be a gays only event. However, I feel like I get it a bit better now.

Apo is very handsome. He is also beautiful in a way that a lot of these leads aren't. They are pointedly conventionally masculine, not necessarily hypermasculine, but going towards that direction, something that is emphasised by their role in the narrative and acting style. Lots of stoicism and displays of quiet suffering and anger. I know, it's very reductive to place gendered presentations onto a spectrum etc etc, but if one were to operate within rigidly delineated binary requirements for gender presentation that exist in media (and society, there's nuance), Apo does not quite fit the criteria of a leading man within the given parameters. Which is terrible, of course. I can absolutely understand why Apo got fed up with the industry and decided to leave it all behind.

Additionally, as pointed out above with the repeated archetypal character traits, I feel that he did not get to flex his acting muscles in the narratives of these shows, which is another thing he has commented on, though maybe not in those words exactly.

Thinking about all of this makes his recent successes with Kinnporsche and Man Suang terribly interesting and delicious. I recognise that narrativising a celebrity's experiences as an affective story like this is mad parasocial brain rot behaviour, but the idea of him taking something that he was disparaged for earlier on in his career (perceived queerness) and turning it into a factor of him surpassing that which held him back is very attractive in a story sense. Like, what a triumph?

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense or if this is completely old news to everyone, but for some reason I had to get it out somewhere. I'll probably read this back in the morning and cringe mightily.

Anyway. What an interesting time to follow his advancement and the changes in the Thai BL industry, namely the increased attention from the government. I have fears, but I don't know how to articulate them yet. Therefore, I will focus on enjoyment for the time-being.

[winter-kh-sideblog]

The thing with Kairi is, for all of the “she has no autonomy and is barely a character” jokes, she is so so interesting if you are willing to put a little bit of effort into understanding her. And this is kingdom hearts, the fandom of digging through offhand comments from games across every console imaginable to put together snippets of backstories, so like, I KNOW there’s an audience of people willing to put in effort? So here is my little essay on why Kairi has so much potential

I think a lot of people get lost because they assume that Kairi is Sora’s girlfriend? And they say “oh well the narrative doesn’t show that, the narrative is giving us more reasons they should move on than that they should stay togehter” and it’s like!!! You’re correct!!!! The narrative IS saying that!!! This is because Kairi is not, and never was Sora’s girlfriend!!!

Most people (correctly, sadly) get the “thrown to the side, no autonomy, barely a character” vibes from Kairi. But then they just go “oh she’s a one-dimentional stock Woman ™ character” and don’t think farther

i think that, a LOT of Kairi’s canon treatment makes more sense when you realize she’s not the “hot popular girl who’s a prize to be won” trope that people think she is. She’s the dead wife.

This sounds wild at first, because she 

Is a teenager

Has never been in a relationship, let alone married

Is ALIVE

So it’s like. What the heck. How could she be the dead wife. But she IS. and i think it’s impossible to unsee once you realize it.

She’s been dead from the beginning. She’s always haunting the narrative. She’s barely present and doesn’t get to make decisions, but the things that happen to her catalyze the entire plot of almost every game?

The thing is, her stock cliche ending is not, and never was “she ends up with Sora bc she’s the Prize and the symbol of Winning and they live heteronormatively ever after.” Her ending was always. She is perfect and innocent and pure. She dies. Everyone is sad and angry for a bit. They fight for justice. Then they move on. The happy ending is catalyzed by her and she gets credit, but she doesn’t do anything, she doesn’t have autonomy, and she doesn’t get to stick around for the ending. 

And this is a REPEATING motif in her life. When she was FOUR years old she was sent ahead to stop the apocalypse. She is basically dead to her homeworld. They weren’t getting her back. She lost her memories and her family and her life.

In kingdom hearts one, she dies in the apocolypse and becomes motivation and a prop for Sora and Riku. She doesn’t get to fight, she doesn’t get blood on her hands, she isn’t faced with messy decisions.

In kingdom hearts 2, she’s again kidnapped to start the plot. She doesnt get to be with sora or riku or even know what’s happening for most of the game.

And then of course in kingdom hearts 3, she’s literally killed, and it’s like. It’s not even a fight. She’s literally just slaughtered for no reason other than Sora fight motivation.

She’s the symbol of home and family to Sora. It’s not just a matter of romance, there’s not even romance between them? Not really? It’s about childhood and closeness and the promise of forever.

And the thing is. She clearly doesn’t want to be the dead wife character. I don’t think anyone would??? But it is ALL she’s good at. And that’s the problem. She’s a princess of heart, which is defined by absence. She doesn’t have darkness. She doesn’t have evil or badness or anger or malice or anything. And it’s just so?????? She’s narratively destined to die young before she has the chance to get older and get involved in anything messy or morally dubious. Her “job” is to be perfect and good enough that people miss her when she’s gone.

And then???? They don’t????? That’s the whole thing with melody of memory. They let her stay in a coma for an ENTIRE YEAR. Her friends are upset when she dies, but Sora’s the only one actually fighting to bring her back. No one else makes an effort to be with her???? It doesn’t seem like Riku makes any effort to contact her at all in the time between kh1 and kh2 when Sora’s in a coma for an entire year???? They fight and kill to wake Sora up but not Kairi anymore?????

They can't even make a kairi GAME without making her basically dead because that's her Role.

And it’s like????? What do you do when you’re the dead wife. When everyone theoretically loves you but only for what you’re not. When they love you because you’re fragile and pure and have never done anything wrong. When you’re not allowed the chance to live enough to become anything complicated, and people act like that’s for the best?

What do you do when you’ve been dead since the beginning, when everyone has already mourned you??? When they've all reached the acceptance phase and you're not sure if they want you back? They've spent too long learning to be Without you to remember how to be With you and now you're an inconvenience and a reminder of closed wounds?

What do you do when you’re alive but you never learned How to be alive, because you weren’t Supposed To survive????? What do you do when no one knows what to do with you??????

I think a lot of people who want Kairi to break free from the narrative are the ones who keep saying things like “oh she needs to move on from Sora and get better friends” but Sora is one of the only people who gets it?????? He’s been one of the only people that we see onscreen???? making any kind of attempt????? To love her like she’s alive?????? Its not much but its literally ALL shes given?????? And i dont fault her for holding onto that?????? And cherishing it????

And I do think it can be very cool to see her move on???? But i dont think people understand that,,,, if Sora and Kairi were to end up together, it wouldn’t be playing into the cliche, expected ending. Kairi LIVING is already breaking free of the tropes. Kairi being allowed to be messy and hurt and heartbroken,,,, being allowed to want things for herself,,,, being able to ask for help IN THE MOMENT instead of having people guess what she would have wanted after she’s gone,,,, being loved as a person rather than as an idea,,,,, Thats breaking free of the narrative tropes in such a profound way. And i don’t even think it matters much whether it’s romantic or as bffs or as teammates???? It’s just about being chersished as a human person and given a support system.

So yes, i do want to see Kairi make new friends and get some self confidence and move past her layers and layers of survivors guilt and make an identity for herself that doesn’t revolve around a man???? But also????? I think that its 2023 and people should stop pretending that sokai is inherently the boring or cliche expected ending when they’re LITERALLY doomed by the narrative already. Like do you guys actually not realize how subversive it would be if they were to end up together. The romance of staying alive for each other and breaking the cycle out of pure love and spite. The rebellious act of LIVING and taking up space while you're alive, of being a person instead of a concept to be idealized.

You can ship what you want and whatever sparks joy but PLEASE for the love of everything do not call sokai the boring ending. Please stop saying that letting kairi continue to exist and be alive will make the games suck or be cliche. Please.  Just like put a little bit of effort into themes and narratives i beg of you. It is so much more fun.

[hua-fei-hua]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @justpastsaturn~!! man it's been a while since i've partaken in something like this lol

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

63! 64 if you count the random anon one i don't technically write but for which i do overly-elaborate html for a friend. and um. a lot more if we want to also count each chapter of the single-ship ficlet collection works i have as a separate work ehe.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

heh. 772,261 words since june 2016. C:<

3. what fandoms do you write for?

these days just genshin, but in the past i did jjk, bnha, soul eater, flip flappers, and attack on titan. a number of years ago i also had a fma fic up on ffn, but i deleted it and never ported it to ao3. should still be on my google drive, though.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

//HEAVY SIGH.

sparklers (BnHA), 939 kudos

Orchid in Bloom (BnHA), 476 kudos

the diner at the end of the night (JJK), 474 kudos

Fermata (BnHA), 413 kudos

Veneer (BnHA), 368 kudos

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do!!! mostly it's bc i have can't-shut-up disease, but through the years, i've also found it to be a really good community-building exercise!!!! i'm not the type of person to get involved in fandom discord servers, so i've come to really treasure the friendly environment the comments section of a wip can foster, as well as the friends i've made because of it~

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am actually a hardcore happy-ending person myself, so pretty much all of them end with some sense of hope. there's a kagerou days au i wrote for bnha back in the day, though, so i guess time looping to die for one another infinitely counts here.

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

tbh i have a hard time quantifying the happiness of all the different endings i've written, esp since it's been years since i've written simple self-indulgent "and then they all lived happily ever after the end" kinds of endings ahahaha,,,

8. do you get hate on fics?

no but someone impersonating me left a hate comment in my name on a fe3h byleth hannibal au back in may 2021. that was crazy i hope ao3 user dikhotomia is living their best life writing whatever the fuck they want after that incident.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i wrote exactly one (1) explicit fic which was literally just a 16k word sex scene bc the logical endpoint to xiao genshinimpact's character arc is that he needs to get fucked. i don't make the rules. outside of studying blorbo, though, i don't really feel any compulsion to write smut

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

nah. i'll write fusion aus, where cast a goes into setting b and may or may not try to retell the story of canon b, but i like to put the "transformative" into "transformative works" in those situations, to the point where people sometimes can't tell what story i'm basing the narrative off of LOL

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my memory or knowledge, no.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, several times!! mostly back in my bnha days, where i had one fic (partially) translated into chinese and russian, a different fic reviewed and fully translated into chinese; going even farther back, i also once had a query to translate one of my snk fics into french, but i never really heard back from that person so i assume that one fell through.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i'd say yes. there's the aforementioned fic i do the overly-elaborate html for, but also back in high school, a couple friends n i sat around my computer between rounds at a speech tournament and took turns turning one of my kouhai's scripts into a bnha fic that kept on going off the rails bc i implemented a "no backspacing" rule and once our turn typing was over, we had to have our hands-off the computer until it was our turn again.

14. what's your all-time favorite ship?

let's just cut to the chase and make this post timeless: i like it when a ship is basically just MONSTER x MONSTER FUCKER. if not on a literal level, then a spiritual/metaphorical level! bonus points if both parties think the other person is the monster fucker!!!!

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

well i actually recently decided to let go of zenith, so i don't really have any "i wish i could finish this" thoughts abt it anymore tbh... i think abt finishing my html sanitizer 2.0 so that i can post the notes for it more conveniently though lol

16. what are your writing strengths?

heh. bitches love my characterization. and imagery/use of metaphor!

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

SOMEONE will probably snipe me if i say poetry, but i still find my poems to be rather stiff and overly-literal, so i still consider poetry to be a weakness of mine. and fight scenes. DEFINITELY #1 weakness fight scenes.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

for a word here or two there, i don't mind as long as it's culturally appropriate. (you will pry my dearly beloved "aiya" out of my cold dead hands) like that's just how people talk in real life. for longer sentences or conversations, then i'd like it if there are translation notes left somewhere. at the very least, i'd kind of like a narrative or aesthetic reason if the meaning can't be parsed from context alone.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

pokemon, if we're counting my being five years old and unaware of what fanfiction is! otherwise, attack on titan or my little pony.

20. favorite fic you've written?

tbh i try not to play favorites w/my fics anymore, since if a darling of mine doesn't get the attention i think it deserves, i end up having a tough time getting over it emotionally, which has sometimes led to unnecessary bitterness and resentment towards the fic or even fandom/community itself.

tagging~ @kanonavi, @cadriona, @tempests-bards-and-birds, @followerofmercy, @chickycherrycola, and anyone else who might feel like it hehe

[mae-i-scribble]

My post on How I Attended and All Guys Mixer picked up a few more notes than I was expecting recently and it reminded me that I've been wanting to talk about how appreciative I am about how the series handles sexuality. I'll only be talking about the manga here bc I haven't seen the live action drama nor do I plan to. But I just think it's really neat that with our 3 male protags we get to see 3 very unique reactions to 1) learning that crossdressing is a thing and 2) how they in turn feel attraction wise.

I'll start off with Asagi as I feel his is the most straightforward in that he just takes everything in stride. Literally nothing phases him. Thanks to that he's the most nonchalant of the group, just chatting up and trying to make friends per usual. He's confused somewhat, but doesn't pay it any mind and just tries to get to know everyone as he would any other new friend. Personally, I can really see an aro/ace argument for Asagi due to the way he's just, completely unaffected and uninterested in the romantic ongoings around him. He compliments the girls and such but even when the manga is going pretty hard pushing its other pairings Asagi and Fuji truly just seem like good friends. I'm not delusional, this is a romance manga that from the get-go clearly has these pairings in mind to all get together romantically, but until it happens I can gaslight myself into believing my aroace truth (is coping so bad).

Going from most chill about everything to 2nd most chill we have Tokiwa. Tokiwa is an interesting case in that he's polite to such a degree that he does his best to mask his initial confusion and shock (to the extent that yknow, a comedy manga will allow). Though it doesn't really work because he is very overwhelmed by the situation at hand. However, I don't think this is attributed to the girls' crossdressing alone in the same way that Hagi can't get over his initial shock of the concept. Tokiwa's chief concern isn't the "weirdness" of it all but the fact that he came here expecting a meet cute with a cute girl and instead is getting a meet cute with someone equally as charming but with none of the reserved attitude we see Suo have while she's fem-presenting. My boy is not worried about gender norms he is worried for his sanity due to the attractive person flirting with him.

Honestly, this panel here implies that he finds masc-presenting Suo even more attractive. The fact that he even tries to reassure himself that because Suo is a woman this situation is less flustering is very interesting. Not that it does anything. Pouring one out for Tokiwa for real. As the manga goes on, Tokiwa gives off the vibe of someone who is comfortable with his sexuality enough that the gender presentation of the person he likes is irrelevant, both are attractive to him in different ways. Again, while Suo's crossdressing is a point of interest in the sense that it's not something he understands or gets intuitively, he doesn't have nearly the same level of crisis as Hagi does. His attraction to Suo is never questioned- rather it seems to be a question of whether or not he thinks Suo is genuine in her flirting.

And our last boy is Hagi, poor beloved Hagi who is having the time of his life trying to figure out that hey, sometimes people don't dress or present stereotypically. It's a rough life for you Hagi. However, his inner conflict is very gripping. I find his reaction and subsequent coming to terms with the idea of crossdressing a very realistic take on the subject much more akin to your average person being introduced to everything for the first time. It never feels mean spirited even if Hagi can be offensive in this thoughts and comments at first- it's born from a place of genuine confusion, both towards himself and towards the girls. Hagi falling in love with Kohaku, while a little to rife with misunderstandings for my taste, I think is a wonderful narrative of how even being straight doesn't mean that there is one way to feel attraction. While Kohaku throws around the idea of him being bi due to him being attracted to Kohaku while she's masc-presenting, Suo best sums it up when she says that it's not about the words or the looks, its about who it's coming from. And given that we haven't seen Hagi struggle with this from anyone else, it's a safe bet to say he likes Kohaku as masc-presenting, not necessarily masc-presenting people or men in general. Attraction as a fluid concept is something most straight romance stories, let alone a comedy based one, seldom bother to explore along the gender spectrum. Hagi's struggle to understand himself and what his attraction to Kohaku means to him personally is such an interesting take that it elevates the entire storyline out of miscommunication hell almost (just almost).

Idk idk this feels like a very silly rant to have but I do in fact love this manga more than a reasonable amount and this is definitely one of the top reasons for it. I would love for it to get a bit more attention but I shall settle for rereading it for the 20th time I suppose

[rollercoasterwords]

Fanfic writer asks — 4, 5, and/or 20!

hi!!

4. Share a headcanon about (character name) in (story title)!

left it open not sure if i'm mean 2 do this for one of my own stories or just any story...suppose i will take this opportunity 2 weigh in on the reg birthday debate & say that i see him as a capricorn. could perhaps be convinced of virgo as well...but that boy is not a cancer sorry

5. Is there a tiny detail in one of your fics that you feel goes tragically unnoticed?

not sure if it's something that's been noticed/brought up before but i don't think it has...i love a full circle/mirrored ending moment so in atydsp the very first line is him being awake + the very last line is him falling asleep <3

20. Is there anything about any one of your fics that you have been dying to discuss but haven’t had the chance to?

oooh idk...honestly zar has been getting quite a few voicenotes recently abt different parts of wfrau so there has been quite a bit i've wanted to discuss lol but some of it is just stuff abt the lily interlude + epilogue that i can't talk abt without spoiling...

i guess one thing i've wanted 2 discuss/one thing that's been interesting to see is (again) the way people have responded 2 the whole james/lily/regulus ambiguity...like i know that much of this fandom revolves around shipping etc but sometimes i've just wanted 2 be like it's not happening!!!!!!!! how can i make it more obvious!!!! but then again that's just part of putting ur writing out there in the world like someone can read something & interpret it completely differently than how u expected regardless of what u do...remember one person commented talking abt how they loved the polyamorous rep w james in wfrau & i was baffled bc in my mind i was writing him as aromantic...also was interesting seeing people expecting jegulily bc i thought i'd done a pretty good job writing reg + lily as platonic lol. also has just been interesting in a broader sense to see the different ways people think abt + interpret sex vs romance...like the idea that james enjoys sex but doesn't find it romantic isn't all that crazy to me bc sex & romance don't necessarily go hand in hand in my own life like. sometimes u just hook up for fun u don't have 2 be in love...but for some people those things r very tied together & it's difficult to conceptualize a guy who just wants to sleep w his friends! so that's been interesting 2 discuss...like the whole expectation that where there's sex romance must follow etc...

one other thing i've been wanting to discuss is like. r&s as they currently stand lol sent a whole long voicenote abt this the other day so have already gotten some of it out of my system but. it's interesting again seeing the amount of feedback from people who really wanted them 2 reconcile + have a happy ending at the point where things currently stand/the conclusion of the main story--or who are holding out for a happily ever after, etc. like to be fair their story has changed a lot as i've written it & i didn't know when i started the fic that the main story would end as it has. that being said ever since the obliviation became a key part of the story i've known that r&s simply would not be getting back together after voldemort's defeat...like sirius genuinely does not love remus anymore bc how could he! he doesn't remember him! they're practically strangers! & remus doesn't wanna give sirius another chance bc why would he! after all the hurt he already went through! knowing that the person in front of him now is essentially the guy who killed the person he loved & took his place! or perhaps more accurately is equivalent to the reanimated corpse of the person he loved...came back wrong narrative etc...u get the point (hopefully). anyway it just seemed clear to me that reconciliation would not be in the cards for them & it felt like brushing past that or trying to patch things up would detract from the emotional impact i was going for...perhaps even diminish the depth of the feelings they did, at one point, have for each other--like, it's only because they cared about each other so much that things are so unfix-able now. of course i do have my interlude + epilogue left 2 play around w but also bc i am mean + contrary + like making people sad every comment of someone being like "please make them happy :((" makes me want to not do that lol

& last thing is just a fun detail abt james that i'm not sure if anyone's noticed...putting it under a cut in case anyone wants 2 put the pieces together themself but a fun little detail abt his death:

james's recurring nightmare abt a bright light + his boggart being that bright light was him seeing his own death <3 bc he lost his ability to see color the 'avada kedavra' didn't look green to him; it was just bright light. & that was the last thing he ever saw! fun <3

fic writer ask game

[thisiskatsblog]

louis posting an instagram video where he mentions the paris rainbow lights fan project and shows pride flags and talks about his connection with fans etc feels like a way to appease us and is very insidious and i'm seeing him in a very different light tbh, i simply cannot forgive him for shitting all over us then trying to appease by showing pride flags and talking nice about a rainbow project it feels very disingenuous, back in 1d days these counter moves of love towards the lgbtq+ community after a denial or a shut down or whatever would feel authentic and brave but i'm seeing it from a very different perspective these days and i don't know how to feel, i'm just very much done with louis i think and as a queer fan i feel heartbroken because he used to be my home and now he's completely unrecognisable to me, oh well, things change and i hope he's happy with his 14 fans by the end of it bc he's giving us the shovel in which we bury his career, lots of people have said the chicken thing was their final straw and are leaving in droves (i'm one of them) so i wish him luck and hope all this shit was worth it for him, i have no empathy left for him and it's time to call it a day and just speak to my fandom friends and not support him directly via money social media mentions etc

(((anon))) (if you're into hugs, sounds like you needed one)

Thanks for bringing up that Instagram reel - I actually hadn't seen it in full yet, just some snippets on Tumblr here.

I don't know how much of your negative feeling towards that reel stem from the fact that you thought it was posted after Parmageddon to appease LGBTQ fans. If it makes a difference: seems that actually, the reel was posted before the Twitter chat.

I feel some thought went into it, and there’s definitely a shitload of rainbows in there, at quite interesting moments of the narrative.

I'm inclined to believe it's genuinely trying to say something, trying to express gratitude for the rainbow projects -without saying so explicitly - ok - I'll grant that - but it doesn't seem disingenuous to me.

The tweet, on the other hand, comes across as such a ridiculously far fetched comment. Why would he even bring that up?

Like I said, I cannot make much sense of one thing next to the other. I'm not even trying to anymore, to be honest.

And I do understand that this is different for you - for many people maybe. For very specific and very personal reasons that I can't really ever put the finger on, I have a strong undercurrent of (blind?) faith in Louis and the tweet didn't shake that enough for me to leave the fandom. And I fully understand that not everyone feels that way. That you can’t feel that way if you don’t have the same very personal reasons that I have.

Clearly the balance is different for you, for others, and particularly for a lot of LGBTQ+ people. The conflicting messages are confusing, they are painful, and they do lead people to believe they are safe when maybe in the end they are not. It's not a great situation. And it's totally valid, and acceptable, and healthy, perhaps, for someone to decide to leave that situation.

Sorry to see you go but I hope leaving brings relief and makes you happier.

[bijoupreciieux]

i'm just thinking out loud tbhhh

there's  just  something  about  actresses/actors  being  very  passionate  about  and  genuinely  loving  roles  involving  classic  characters  that  makes  me  trust  them  more  to  play  that  role?  like  ari@na  very  clearly  adoring  the  oz  universe  and  finding  comfort  in  it  since  her  childhood,  tweeting  as  clear  back  as  2011  about  how  badly  she  wanted  to  play  glinda,  auditioning  for  the  movie  five  times,  saying  “i'm  going  to  take  such  good  care  of  her"  or  like  h@lle  bail/ey  wearing  out  her  family's  vhs  tape  of  the  little  mermaid  because  she  watched  it  over  and  over  &  pretending  to  be  ariel  when  she  went  swimming  while  she  was  growing  up  and  being  overall  positive  about  the  character  of  ariel. 

i  just  feel  like  when  there's  genuine  love  and  excitement  and  even  a  sense  of  them  feeling  honored  to  carry  on  a  legacy  in  a  way  —  it  makes  me  feel  like  that  character  is  in  good  hands?  now  at  least  one  instance  where  this  wasn't  the  case  was  with  b&tb  (  2017  )  bc  from  what  i  remember  emma  was  a  fan  of  belle  and  had  good  things  to  say  about  the  original  but  i'm  not  really  a  fan  of  her  portrayal  of  the  character.  so  i  know  someone  liking  or  even  loving  a  character  doesn't  guarantee  that  they  will  play  them  well  but  i  feel  like  most  of  the  time  they  do.  it  certainly  makes  me  feel  more  willing  to  give  them  a  chance.

r/achel's  comments  about  snow  white  suggest  that  she  has  no  love  for  the  character  or  film  (  “I  was  scared  of  the  original  version.  I  think  I  watched  it  once  and  never  picked  it  up  again.  I’m  being  so  serious”  ,  “We  absolutely  wrote  a  Snow  White  that...  she’s  not  going  to  be  saved  by  the  prince,  and  she’s  not  going  to  be  dreaming  about  true  love."  )  i  just  wish  they'd  gotten  someone  who  loves  snow  white  &  not  only  admires  her  soft/caring  personality  but  also  sees  she  has  a  sassy  side?  someone  who  sees  her  resilience?  who  doesn't  just  see  her  as  anti-feminist  caricature  to  be  “fixed”  or  completely  changed  to  fit  modern  day  feminist  ideals.

it's  just  weird  to  me  that  people  still  push  the  narrative  that  female  characters  need  to  always  be  these  tough  as  nails,  no  nonsense,  boss  babes  like  i  enjoy  those  characters  too  but  it's  not  anti-feminist  to  have  female  characters  who  are  “softer”  in  personality  and  who  yearn  for  things  like  romance.  like  meg  said  in  little  women  —  “just  because  my  dreams  are  different  than  yours  doesn't  mean  they're  unimportant”

[somewhereinthepines]

Hello, Pines! Is it okay for me to call you that? You can not answer this if you don’t want to, but you are one of few people who don’t have strong feelings for Dylan/Ryan ship. I wanted to know why? I hope it doesn’t come off combative!

hi, and yeah, it’s more than okay! when i was writing ‘by design’ i was called this by a reader and fellow author, so i kind of gentle of this nickname now, haha.

now, about your question….it doesn’t read as rude or combative to me at all! i don’t get irked, when i’ve asked about stuff that i don’t like or not into. but in turn, i have to warn that i do prefer to be honest about my opinion, and while i don’t hate dylan/ryan ship, i think that people who really love it might find my words kinda downing. my opinions are whimsical and fully based on my own pref and tastes, and what i look for in fiction, so i’d just ask people to view it as this. just me speaking for myself, from my own tower. 

*waves a hand* but let’s begin. so ah, dylan/ryan. it’s true, that i indeed don’t have any particularly strong feelings about them as a ship. or about dylan. i don’t hate him as a character, i just don’t care about him lol. surprisingly enough, i didn’t actively distaste anyone in the quarry. and it’s smth, bc supermassive does tend to create/write at least one character, who pisses me off in their games. either way, dylan wasn’t that. he was fine. i just didn’t find him interesting or compelling, or felt like ryan had some insane connection to him. 

i look back at all the interactions, that dylan had with ryan, and it’s very generic to me. the game trying to force them into ‘romance’ only made everything worse and feel scripted, rather than coming off natural. i mean, what ryan and dylan have narrative wise, first of all? 1) they talk inside mister h’s office, and it all while they lie out plot points for us, and dylan also makes a comment about ryan always going through chris’s things. so technically speaking, he makes sexual comment about a guy, who he likes with another man. like, if he’s into it okay lol. but it was a bit strange. 2) they might have a kiss, that was basically not happening out of free will. it happened bc of a truth/dare game and not bc either of them decided to do it, while they had some meaningful moment together. more so, i find it almost funny how if ryan picks truth, emma asks about him and mister h. so even the girl, who ‘shipped’ those two or smth, was actually curious about (once again) ryan and another man lmao. you are beginning to see the pattern here too, i believe. 3) the cut off hand scene, that was just….not super impactful, despite it supposed to be tense in an emotional sense vs just a tense gameplay. but it’s not. in fact, i often think, that if the quarry pulled a john & andrew there, aka ryan would have been stuck with his camp leader during the night (and chris wasn’t a werewolf), and they run into the same situation with cutting off hand or not, it would have been so good, y’know? no matter whose hand would have been at stake, it would have been so much more loaded and hard for them to decide what to do, even from non-shipping point. like, how can you intentionally harm someone even if they ask you to, when you feel responsible for them (chris) or when you admire them and they are the most important adult figure in your life (ryan)? cutting off dylan’s hand was traumatising for both dylan and ryan, don’t get me wrong. but it was missing a heavy key-emotional aspect in it. for me, it’s always gonna be more of an evil dead ref, than anything else. i love my gore to be meaningful in one sense or another. which brings me to the following point…. 

nothing really happens after that. at all. there wasn’t any tension or uncertainty. and okay, maybe they didn’t want to take the route, where dylan would look at ryan oddly, bc he finally realised that he doesn’t even really know the dude at all. but then, nothing in the game led me to believe, like dylan or ryan would be attached to each other to the point, where they both would be able to ‘overlook’ this moment in future, either. so yeah, it only proves, that there was no aftermath, and it was kinda a meaningless scene in terms of the ship, and what a waste! i watched du’met killing charlie 4 separate times, and each time, it was ofhduhgi great, amazing, i could see a personal touch there. and those two weren’t even officially speaking, written as a couple. then, there is dylan who doesn’t even question things and ryan, who have no time to question if he’s fucked up for doing it or not, bc he has other things (mister h) on his mind. and the thing is, that i legit wished that the game would at least make dylan and ryan’s interactions entertaining for me, even if i wouldn’t have shipped them together. like until dawn threw me a bone in chris/ashley segments. i do not ship those two at all, but i loved how the gameplay actually forces you to deal with consequences if chris will pick to shoot ashley or pick josh and not her. at least, they made it interesting and gave a bit different angle to both characters and their possibly not all that deep relationships lol. ashley pettily watching chris to be torn apart spoke volumes about how he might have not been the guy, she thought he was. dylan and ryan don’t get even a bit of this. 

next bit be that dylan is a boring character to me, even outside the ship. i cannot think of anything, that would personally interest me, if i had to put him and ryan into a ‘romantic’ set-up. him being prone to panic in extreme situations or insecure doesn’t pull anything in me. it’s very mundane things. and it’s not like i haven’t ever shipped an aloof/emotionally stunted/mental character with basically a ‘normie’. one of such examples be the nite own/rorschach (watchmen). and here is the thing, i don’t like dan lol. he piss me off on a few occasions, and i generally don’t vibe with his character at all. i look at him and see an average joe, who chased after a woman, who usually wouldn’t even glance his way, unless she had some turmoil happening in her life. i see a person, who put on a costume, but couldn’t ever actually commit to all the pain and suffering, that would come along with it, just so that he could do the ‘right thing’. but it didn’t change the fact, that i did like how he had affection for rorschach and how rorschach essentially only ever liked dan in return. even if nite owl was plain for me, he clearly wasn’t for rorschach, who was hilariously delusional about him (along with other things). and i also always saw a chance of dan getting ‘corrupted’ into rorschach's ways of living, which would in return traumatise him and ‘isolate’ him, and make him ‘perfect’ for his fucked up partner. in the end, dan was a simp lol. He wasn’t simp just for laurie, but for rorschach as well, so there was always hope lol. and it’s smth that i cannot see in dylan and ryan’s case at all, bc i don’t think that ryan would care that deeply about some guy to go and try to chase after him. or that dylan would be simping for ryan so hard, that he will be able to shrug off his cool deminear and flat affected reactions. inside my head, they just do not work at all. if you look at all of my multi-chapter fics, that i ever wrote, for whatever pairs, there is a common theme of smth being ‘not quite right there’. i don’t ship someone who is normal and who does normal things, and who doesn’t have some huge ‘flaws’ or clear problems or red flags, that would affect their relationships and who can form a very specific bond only with that other specific person. i wouldn’t have bothered with dan/rorschach, if i didn’t feel like dan’s crush on laurie can be made meaningless and unimportant in the end of the day, bc he would pick rorschach and just be with him, even if he now kills people…. 

in that sense, dylan for me is what max is for travis/laura shippers. a cuck lol. and trust me, i don’t want or have intentions of diminishing the dude in my fics or hcs. as i said, i don’t think that him having a crush on ryan was bad or that he was having said crush due to a very 20 smth worldview is smth to be frowned upon. like in a way, it legit sucks to be dylan or max in a situation, where your cool eyepatch gf or sofrcore metalic bf would rather fuck some redneck grandpa, than you lol. to summarise it, i’m a guy, who watches ‘phantom of the opera’ and thinks, that i would love to dropkick paul from a rooftop, bc i just don’t need him there lol. i wanted christine to get isolated and corrupted, and disappear with her ‘angel of music’. i’m a dude, who watched dracula and wanted mina gone forever, bc dracula and john were so much more sexy to look at. i’m someone who wished, that ichabod crane would have been abducted in a sleepy hallow movie, like he was in the book. i love it, when it’s complicated and maybe even, ‘bad’ or downright scary to want that thing, but if you are ready to go after it, stay with it, this means that in the end you want it more, than anything else. it’s fiction and i love my fiction to be extreme, be it emotional extreme or smth else. so yeah. ships like dylan/ryan, chris/ashley or idk, erin/jamie weren't made for me, and that’s okay. bc chris/ryan and du’met/charlie is what was made to a t, almost as if to tailor my own fascinations, and i don’t care that canon doesn’t spell it out for me, that they’re destined lovers. in my head, and in my understanding they are. and that's the fun of shipping, really. to just indulge yourself in what you see as crucial for a dynamic to work. 

*looks up at the wall of text above* well, uh yeah. i guess it’s all that i say here. like about the ship and dylan on his own. i always compare preferences in fiction (characters, ships, media) to food, bc i feel like it just drives the point across. i’m a very picky eater irl (some textures, tastes would make me gag and i just won’t be able to stomach the said food), and i’m like that with what i ship too. it doesn't objectively make smth amazing and the best there to be, it just makes those things tasty and great for me, subjectively. and i do hope, that one day, internet would just take a chill pill on that matter, and there be less ‘call outs’ about shipping this or that, or someone getting aggressive just cuz someone else doesn’t like their ship and not even in a rude way. 

and thank you for asking me this, i do think that it’s important to know why you don’t like smth or just don’t care about it and love that other things instead. it really helps to not fall into ‘trending’ and ending up doing smth that you most likely won’t enjoy at all. spent your time only on stuff, that really ‘speaks’ to you.

[yyyyanyan]

Book Club: Trials of Apollo series (1, 2, 3) by Rick Riordan

part 3 of camp halfblood chronicles! I'm done with this man lol I don't want to keep reading

So I happily went off to read fanfiction after finishing Heroes of Olympus and I got caught off-guard by a cute little spoiler :) and I was like "no way is this canon right? it's not canon right?" but I was too spooked to keep reading fanfiction. I could not be at peace. I had to start the next series. So I went and did that

and goddamn idk what it is about this series but it's such a drag. I don't particularly like Meg or Apollo (I think Meg is interesting, but I'm not particularly attached, and I can see when Apollo is meant to be funny, but I'm not amused) and I'm just not drawn into the story. I also somehow feel like it moves simultaneously faster and slower than the other books? Like I feel like I'm moving through molasses trying to get through the story, but when I reached the end of the book I was like "Wait, that's it?"

So on one hand I think Apollo's memory/knowledge is handled brilliantly and it adds tension without feeling like a straight up nerf. I also think Meg's backstory is SO interesting and I'm totally curious to learn more about her. But on the other hand... I'm so bored LMAO

I think Calpyso totally saved book 2 simply because I love her <3 She and Apollo are literally so funny together. I also think the drama of like, trying to save the little girl (I'm so sorry I already forgot her name) was really good? This one was way more interesting than the first one. But I feel like I was also just interested because my faves (I also love Leo btw I just didn't say his name) were back and less so bc the story was more interesting to me lol

anyways book 3. I'm salty about this one!! very very salty!!!!! So first I found out my faves (Piper and Jason) have BROKEN UP and then my fave (Jason) DIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so upset about this one fr ToT HOW COULD JASON DIE????? HE HAD SO MUCH LEFT TO DO!!!!!! anyways the tension was really cool except I'm MAD that he died ToT like literally that's my big takeaway from this book.... Jason died............ I'm like extra mad because I just don't think things got wrapped up well for him!! Like I mentioned in the Heroes of Olympus post but his Roman/Greek conflict thing was soo interesting and I really don't think it was in any of the other charas so I was looking forward to see it expanding. I also thought his promise to Kymopoleia was going to be amazing and I got so excited seeing his little monopoly houses :( and then... you're telling me he's gone..... :((((

I kind of wonder if the Jason and Piper thing gets explained more because in my opinion it came out of absolutely! nowhere!!! so I just went and read some discussion/saw some spoilers about it and I'm just like :/ damn. I think like with all of the facts together and Hera/Juno's influence and how it felt like it was forced on them then then yeah it does make sense that they broke up :/ but like someone commented, I'm upset because the narrative didn't treat it like that! I'm just like really sad bc all of that happens offscreen and we don't get to see it happening and plus I totally thought they worked through the false memories (cough 6 months between Lost Hero and the argo II sailing cough!!). I think I could accept it if I saw hints of it but it totally blindsided me and THEN Jason just dies???? like ugh :( also I was shook when I was googling and I found out people didn't like him ToT he's always been my one of my faves lol :'D

Anyways I borrowed book 4 and I'm like a fifth of the way through I think? But it's been like a week at least and I'm tired and I've moved on so I'm going to take a break and maybe (probably not) come back to it another time. I'm curious how it ends/what happens but not curious enough to keep going. I am totally cut up over Jason and I'm too salty LMAO

[synonymouswithanonymous]

LOL

"Her fans wouldn't be so serious about pushing they are Happy."

The very few positive posts pales in comparison to the hundreds and hundreds of posts spewing negativity and hate. Who are these people trying to convince? Themselves? How are a few posts about a happy couple "pushing" an opinion. It seems like people are just daily, repeating the same old "she's evil" and he "looks bad" posts. I wonder who really has an agenda? Lol imo he looks great and so does she, he looks better than he used to look (2020-2022).

So let me get this straight, this is an actor none of us know personally. None of us know his mind, and some are stuck on what he said about privacy awhile back. But none of us get to determine what privacy means to him. No one but him has control over what privacy means to him, same for her.

Some think her friends are kiss ass narcissistic creepy people that are weird.  No evidence though, just their take/read on them by a "gut" feeling.

Some think his friends that like her are all weird ( line, her husband, magnus, Johannes, Fanny etc etc) and theyre toxic ass kissers that put pressure on him. No evidence though, just their take/read on them by a "gut" feeling.

Some think his mom is toxic, ass kissing, and putting pressure on him. No evidence though, just their take/read on her by their "gut" feeling. Edited:I'm just pointing out how I find this illogical. Using gut feelings as a legit argument for their opinions, bc some have really convinced themselves with this. It's good to check your gut when going into a room, or the vibe you get in person when you meet them in real life. But to take instagram, not in person contact that way, is irrational imo. Then there's the ones that just like to be haters to him, her or both. I mean hell, they tried to say ladybug on her hand video, was her flipping off his fans. Irrational.

If their gut is telling them everyone else is wrong or crepy, weird toxic, and etc then I'm going to question just how good their gut can gage reality. It doesn't make sense that a stranger would be more correct, than all the people that actually know her.

And apparently disagreeing politely (when directly addressed) without insults and being nice is argumentative. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 at least I don't hurl personal insults like they did to me. And these are the people who claim to "hate bullies." 😂😂

Oh and apparently bc of "notifications" being too much I'm not allowed to express my opinion in comments. The option is removed for me. Even though those that spread hate comments are always welcome under nearly every post. And if you send in a positive comment it won't be posted, only one out of 15 was ever posted. So much for welcoming all opinions, they blame it on tumblr. Used to be like, ok, tumblers at fault but now I've revised my opinion. 😂😂😂 it seems like the haters just want to hate and there's no room for anything else. Seems like spreading misinformation and deliberate mistranslations, and censorship is what they have to do to control the narrative they want others to believe. Saw someone else's positive post get through, just one though (a miracle lol) and they were promptly called a troll (like I was called a leech licker and troll). Lol I find this funny bc clearly they don't understand what a troll is or that it's mostly about how bullies tend to spread hate about their subject online using misinformation/mistranslations/libel/hate/threats/sexual references (like how they said Venus Was a soft core porno lol). Someone once posted about cyber stalking, awhile back, but I think it's more akin to cyberbullying. Trying to twist everything a celebs GF does into something bad, to make her look bad, and to make other fans "turn on her." And she hasn't even ever done anything remotely bad. This is something cyberbullies do. And then act like it's all for "fun" or "gossip" (lies/projection) if that's how they get their jollies that says a lot about who they are As a person. I think people should be kind to those that they don't know and not make up lies about others. no one of reasonable sense should buy into this bollocks. And they'll attack anyone with a different opinion to silence them, or tell them to leave bc only hateful comments are welcome. All over the fact their celeb crush/fantasy getting a girlfriend. Misogynists are real.

Back on topic. A few people think the GF is toxic and a manipulating woman bc she accidently posted a drunk video while she herself was drunk. Accidents happen. It was up and down real quick, those that kept posting the mistake are imo more disrespectful. But they wanted to get that "gotcha moment" to Lord it over her.

And that she didn't respect the privacy rules for him. That's the relationship rules they made up for FOR THEM based on something he said ages ago.😂😂😂😂 we can't read his mind, rules made up by "fans" don't apply. Sure disagree with it, but why is she getting a bitch edit for living her life the way she sees fit?

Seriously how's she's supposed to know she's breaking a strangers rules and guidelines for dating her OWN BF?  Surely she knows her own life better than them.

As if and he and his friends never posted drunk videos before? Or him hooked up to an IV drugged before? Or posted and deleted something he didn't mean to publish before, like his mail. Lol

I'm glad everyone else was born perfect and Never made a post by accident. I'm not perfect I don't expect others to be perfect.

Someone said the other day "you don't give a shit about him" well that's partly true bc although I like him, good actor and good looking, I wish him the best, trust his judgement when it comes to his life and love. But that doesn't mean I care for him in a real way bc he is a person I only know through social media and tv/films.  Never talked to him, never met him, never commented on his posts etc.  I know the character Ivar better than I would know him lol. You can't truly care for people you don't know. And you'll never convince me that you care for someone you don't know, more than their own family, friends, or GF.  She's just living her life, dating an actor as an actress herself, doing normal couple things. And they both look happy and adorable to me. 😊😊

"Haters will see you walk on water, and say it's bc you can't swim."

I doubt anyone will ever read this, but I don't expect it to be read either. Just want to say, what I want to say. 😁😁😁😁😁😁

[lightlycareless]

chapter 32 finally here,,, im so late getting this ask in but this chap HAS been rolling around in my head,, getting chewed on ,,

we got SO much backstory in this one to work with and its SO cute too- like, not only does it work as such a good narrative contrast to the current relationship going on, what with eiichi and minako actually being able to have 1) respectful disagreements over taste 2) REAL playful banter that doesn't end up in some sort of argument or with horrifyingly thick tension 3) most importantly both people want to be there and see more of each other- its also just a very very sweet scene overall

AND it goes on to even show him properly standing up for her, supporting her career, sweet gift exchanges,,, n naoya is just cringing at the end of it. you FOOL. you should be taking NOTES rn

(also y/n met naoya first at the goodwill event,,, that has to have been mentioned before but i blanked on it till now. god. i hope we see that at some point i can only imagine)

y/n i think you SHOULD have just started crying in the store there after the story. just start sobbing. freak him out a little bit. he deserves it

naoya trying to ask genuine questions for once (at least i think he is!! just not,, really coming thru in the tone of voice but hes giving it a go) and just getting. almost entirely ignored. hes TRYING your honor- and what did he BUY?? what is in his pocket i know it cant be a whole record that would not FIT

this whole chapter and the last couple are SO funny bc y/n is (understandably) assuming he's being purposely malicious in ignoring/misunderstanding her and girlie,,, he's just that stupid actually. like he IS an asshole but also? very stupid. he is not getting the signals you are sending and when he does its like a funhouse mirror version his ass does NOT get it!!

"you like sweets?" "how do you know,,," "i figured after you ate a lot of cake at our wedding" "*oh my god,,, he's been watching me so closely,,, hes been stalking me*" GIRL,,, THIS IS THE MOST NORMAL BEHAVIOR HES DISPLAYED. the paranoia (again, understandably) is kicking our ASS rn okay this all makes sense actually rereading the next section like yes. it IS a nice fairly normal gesture of being attentive to what someone likes UNTIL its the last guy on earth you want being aware of you at all EXACTLY

the next few scenes REALLY make the contrast between their and y/n's parents relationship so dramatic bc like i was saying- the banter is just SO different because they do not actually trust each other here. that and its got a very different theme to it- the hiding it under the kimono comment would not have gone well with ANY woman i imagine. "meant it as nothing more than a joke, obviously" NOT OBVIOUSLY MY MAN

and of course,,, the final bit,,, handing the sweets over to naoaki instead,,,, i can not even IMAGINE how chp 33 is gonna start. hes just gonna straight up fall to his knees right there in anguish. pass out maybe. y/n and naoaki having a lighthearted little chat while naoya sobs and dies five feet away. i can't wait. incredible chapter once again

Hello!!

Aww, don't worry! If anything I should be apologizing for being a bit late to reply 😅 stuff happened, but I'm finally here hehe! And overall, I'm super happy this chapter was to your liking, since I love writing backstories... although I'm self conscious from time to time about it because it might be considered boring or irrelevant—and I get it, sometimes we just wanna know what's going on with the main plotline, but at the same time… I’ve been wanting to give certain characters more context. Especially Eiichi and Minako, who hold a special place in my heart. though I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again!! they’re PERFECT, OK?? They’re nothing but loving, caring, understanding and everything in between... and it's my favorite trope of all time!!! I eat that shit up every single time idc it never gets old for me!!!

Ahem.... anyways lol.

The scene that heavily resonated with me of all that occurred in this chapter has to be how Eiichi and Minako were beyond excited to have children... because comparing it to Y/N and Naoya... it's very sad.

If Y/N were to get pregnant somehow, his reaction would certainly be negative. However, there’s a catch with this specific topic which I’ll develop a bit more in the future hehe. But yeah, she's definitely not living her parent's story, not even close.

And same. I’m really disappointed in Naoya’s reaction too, but what did we expect… it’s not like he’s going to suddenly understand the value of this information 😭😭😭😭 Our emotionless little trash bag could never... Ugh, I would be ashamed to even cringe if someone shared me something so intimate… he could’ve at least been a bit more discreet about it 😭 didn’t he get some kind of training in how to behave in these types of situations??? Like from the elders or something??? Since he’s the heir, you know… ??? Guess not.

As for the goodwill event, I’ve only sprinkled mentions here and there :> I think the first one was when Y/N told she saw Naoaki’s technique (same as Naoya’s) in said event, which was coincidentally Naoya’s first event lol. I only remember this cause I recently re-read the chapter where it happens 😂 I’m starting to forget some things… oof. Anyways, Worry not, this moment will be in the story 😊

Omg imagine if she started crying?? I think Naoya would somehow manage to make the situation even worse 😂. Kind of those awkward pats in the back, tell her “if I buy you something will you stop crying?” like she was a child or something lmao—and y/n would definitely be like “Are you serious????”

Overall, Naoya needs to try harder. Waaaay harder. But more than that… he needs to be accountable for the things he’s done—Y/N is not reacting positively to him because he’s just out there acting as if nothing happened! Or if he somehow acknowledged that it did, he still feels like he's blaming her for it, like it's her fault for overreacting to his abuse, and then blaming his brother over it!

Ughhhhhhhhhhhh Naoya needs to wake up, seriously!! I really don’t know what he needs to see or hear to finally understand he’s the problem 😭😭😭😭 And Ranta isn’t of much help either… but maybe he’s doing all that because he knows how he is hahah that he won’t react outside of essentially being compliant to him 😅 being Naoya’s “friend” must be a nightmare.

And with the whole Naoya being attentive to her is reminds me of this meme lol

Just something I noticed while drafting, I tend to use the same phrases when writing their dialogue—it’s kind of sick, isn’t it? I’m tormenting Y/N all ways possible LMAO. (this is actually something I’m very self-conscious about… please forgive me 😭 Also damn I wish I had a FC for Naoaki... I mean I do but I want to reveal that on the character profile hehe)

But yeah, being reminded of that is like... you're already freezing, and someone decides to throw you another bucket of ice. You're like damn???? was that necessary?? She certainly didn't need to be told that he's keeping a closer watch. (Ah... if only the circumstances had been different, I would've been like... oh, how sweet of him) YIKES.

Now that we’re talking about the differences between their relationship towards Eiichi and Minako, it made me wonder how she would take that comment if it had been them instead.

I think Minako would be either like "what are you babbling about?" at first. HOWEVER, if she’s feeling kind of frisky and we know she be like that with him lol, I think she’d say something instead like “There’s something else I’d like under my kimono” and Eiichi would just, yeah. short circuit. 9 months later, Hinata came to be. HAHAHAHAHAH

It’s all in the context really, some couples are more comfortable with certain topics, others are not and the only way to establish that is through communication—unfortunately, even though Naoya and Y/N may be married, they’re not a couple by any means 😭😂. So yeah, that was waaaay out of pocket. I would’ve slapped him if I didn't have to fear for my life immediately afterwards 😭😅😂

As for the next chapter... if he passes out by seeing Naoaki and Y/N… good. It’s what he deserves 😊 Although something else is going to happen that I think will certainly rattle him—oh, whoops. Spoilers. 🤪🤪 (I’m really excited for you to read that chapter jkahgjkajgkaj)

Anyways, thank you so much for coming back for another update!! I know I always tell you this, but I don't think I can ever, ever write down how truly grateful I am to have your support... 🥺❤️ I'm always looking forward to your comments, hehe, they're very motivating, inspiring, sometimes fun to read... overall, I greatly enjoy them—they've certainly made writing this fic more fun ❤️❤️❤️

I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

[falinscloaca]

unhinged rant about recent events in kill six billion demons and how it isn’t actually shitty queer tropes but also very well might be but its also not finished so who knows whats actually going to happen it makes my head hurt a bit i saw a comment on twitter mentioning it and my brain internalized the FUCK outta wanting to bring up that topic somehow somewhere all this is pointless i’m going to explode. SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ksbd: here! have some (questionably oversexualized) sapphics!

ksbd: here! have a character who was continually given transfeminine motifs actually (magic) transition! (for the record unlike the other parenthesis i don’t think this was badly handled much. (magic) is not a wince.) 

ksbd twitter: hey i know this is going to look bad and i promise i hate “this trope” (???? everyone assumes it is “bury your gays” but i don’t even know if that was what he was referring to????) but you gotta trust me

ksbd: ok so one of these disappears completely (and is implicitly dead by the others dialogue + not being seen later or anything) or die trying to save protag (also.... fellas devils can revive with their masks and they can have a *chance* at preserving *some* of their identities but. the mask fucking... *melted*. its a pile of sludge. three years in the narrative past. i’m not saying her making a comeback is *impossible* but the common “oh yeah allison will put the mask back together obvi” is so stupid) (also who knows if literally precidenceless angelhumans can revive like angels do. we do not know shiiiit yet)

ksbd: the omniscient character keeps implying that everything is prewritten and is rather ambivalent on whether our “hero” has the ability to still like. DO anything significant in the grand scheme anymore. like on one hand thats sorta implied but also like the insistence that free will is an illusion doesn’t mean that the character can’t actually start trying to Accomplish gay-people-who-died-related stuff anymore LMAO. like theres still an overall “give up and move on” vibe pervading all of this (which.... are we SURE “the trope” isn’t smth about “hero uses power of love to defy death” or some related shit like “hero... is a hero in the conventional sense and saves the day”? are we SURE this is about burying your gays or fridging women or something?? did abaddon say smth on discord or somewhere????) 

ksbd twitter: for once please take a character being defined one way (omniscent) at face value jesus christ guys (both related and unrelated to the whole Rocks Fall thing its just. added flavor to that whole last barely-can-even-be-called-a-paragraph)

ksbd: ok now that this whole depressing stint into our plucky implicitly-lesbian-but-never-actually-stated-to-be(PLEASE JUST CALL YOURSELF A DYKE ALICE. I. ACK. AUTHORS USE *WORDS* CHALLENGE) protagonist withering away completely is OVER, its DONE, the ultradepression segment is moving on, here comes *some guy!* (that people are making huge assumptions about being her ex-failed-fling and then making assumptions on top of that about him being here to try to help her somehow)

like, none of this is actually inherently shitty (well, none of the things that are actually the point of this, i dislike how cio and allison were framed since first official Couples Moment but that doesn’t REALLY factor in with this). gay people dying is fucking *fine* if the plot actually works. and i’m not actually worried it won’t! it *might* fucking suck but i’m not nearly as invested in “oh this is the worst thing on earth the author BETRAYED his gay fans” as the like two or three people in comments sections and tweets i saw (thus granting me this god damn thought cabinet affliction). the hyperbole that like three (other) people i’ve seen about “here comes some guy!” (which i will continue to mention like that bc even though i don’t take issue with it its FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) is just *delightfully* misplaced imo. but this is still stuff thats like... i don’t want to say trouble-ING but at the very least a bit trouble-SOME? its the kind of shit that’ll seem completely different (for better or worse!!) once the story actually finishes but for now is just like..... *Ehhhhhh...* 

(also a lotta people are more worked up about Cio which like, fair, she just got a god damn collectible statue made and has a massive sub-fanbase of her own, but like. she had arguably the *entire* comic being subtextually sapphic and about ~two books worth of being textually very much bi. white chain meanwhile transitions in a moment of triumph immediately before her moment of triumph gets blown the fuck up sflkdhlsdhlkhlkgsd. one (fucking LONG) fight scene later and she’s completely MIA and we have no *clue* how her dying would work out (though again thankfully for her that ambiguity means that unlike Cio her coming back to relevance one way or another is kiiiinda all but confirmed. like the possibility exists that she doesn’t get to reincarnate she’s a human now Git Gud Scrubs but that writing decision sucks so bad that not even my worst-faith version of the author would pull that lksfdjlkfsdljksfdjkl) so she’s just kinda In Limbo And We’re Supposed To Just Kinda Treat Her As “dead details pending”. it sucks ass.) 

but yeah all this is like. seeing hints of genuinely fucking terrible writing flaws but they don’t *actually* exist yet but they do but they don’t yes they don’t no they do </3. (also with a queer author i wouldn’t even bat an eye at this. like who cares. in my writing ideas i have a *terrible* track record at killing anyone but i strive for the guts to just drop pianos on my hapless transsexuals)

so all in all this was pointless but if i didn’t write it i would physically explode

[shreya11111]

post volume 2 byler hope

i know volume 2 has left us feeling very pessimistic and hopeless for the possibility of byler. yet, i do still think there is reason to hope and so i have compiled a list of amazing posts that have definitely increased my faith in s5 byler.

(here is a small disclaimer that even though byler just makes sense to us narratively and overall, there is still a chance that the duffers won’t go through with it. if you choose to have hope regardless, that’s great! but pessimism is absolutely valid too. cautious optimism is definitely recommended)

on tumblr:

1) Ok This may be something that can give us bylers a little more hope. by @beepboop358

3) Five act structure: reason to hope by @reservoir-god

4) Will’s First Lie & First I Love You by @aurorabyler

5) Listen, I know that feelings are mixed in this tag right now but hear me out. by @admirablespoling

6) wanted to put this on here bc it perfectly summarizes my thoughts 🙃 by @lesbos4robin (and cr to @/causeineedu on tiktok)

7) i guess the thing giving me the most hope right now by @queerstshit

8) Mike’s monologue sorta feels like a (weird) Wikipedia article (also check comments) by @wakeupthemembersofbylernation

9) insanely steaming hot take but the Will / El / Mike arc was kinda insanely well done by @mssingrls

10) it’s so insane to me how mike just hasn’t been able to tear his eyes away from will the entire season by @heliumcake

11) I just actually watched season four all the way through and byler is 100% gonna happen it’s so obvious. by @tinyteenieworld

12) This scene reminded me a lot of the beginning of s3, when Mike is goofing around by singing in the middle of kissing by @howtobecomeadragon

13) Piggybacking off of and inspired by this rad post by @admirablespoling. by @tsugarubecker

14) there really is no point to byler if it's unrequited. by @11byers

15) The m!leven flowers are rottin— by @dancing-in-our-snow-globe and @beepboop358

16) It would appear I am indeed one of the very few optimistic (delusional?) Bylers left. by @chirpsythismorning

17) a part of me feels like it's possible that the end of episode 9 was preparing the general audience for Eleven going off on her own, and a Byler ship by @merthurfan-blog

18) my analysis of mike’s “feelings” for el and what leads to the monologue/his feelings behind it by @strangerfigs

19) Here’s a handful of cautious optimism as a treat, my brothers in byler by @hopfields

20) Mike's S4 jacket (and who his heart is really pointing to) by @mlchaelwheeler

21) St@ncy’s revival is like one of the biggest byler proofs in V2. by @neverforever09

22) michael’s airport outfit by @prfctmxxnlight

23) analyzing ST S4/Byler from someone with a film degree. by @swift-fated and credit to @/joannimal on twitter

24) Somebody on twitter noticed how the scene at the roller rink… (parallel to Little Women) by @justmeandmyships

25) Do you find it possible that Byler will definitely happen in season 5 and if so why by @upside-down-byers

26) volume 2 & instant vs delayed gratification by @chartreuse-goose

27) Whenever you doubt Byler, remember that… (a little reminder of all the things pointing towards byler as endgame) by @byernation

28) i just rewatched “the piggyback” and oh. OH. !!!!!!! by @hawkinsp0st

29) i can’t get over “we’re friends. we’re friends.” and “are ‘friends’ electric?” on mikes official Spotify playlist by @strangerfigs

30) “False Confessions” & “Piggybacking” in ST4: Ask Yourself if We Are Being Encouraged to Pick Apart the Inconsistencies... by @bluemeetyellow

31) Byler is going to be Canon and Here’s Why: by @allnaturalapplejuice

on other social media:

1) this beautiful twitter thread on ‘stranger things and the art of slow burn’ by @/hawkinshermit on twitter

2) any and all videos by @/causeineedu on tiktok. this one is one of my personal favs.

3) all the videos by @/naturallybrielle on tiktok

4) the analysis videos of @/girlskth on tiktok. she made a really cool discovery here and here.

5) this post on the use of little women parallels in the show by @/sbyleril on twitter (check comments! there’s a really good video with the parallels too)

6) this perfect harry potter chamber of secrets/byler parallel by @/folklorent on twitter

7) this twitter thread on the parallels between the romances in little women in stranger things by @/rosiec4ke on twitter

i will definitely be adding more posts to this list if i come across any. thank you to all the bloggers for giving me permission to include their posts! i really appreciate it. i also really hope this helped restore your hope in s5 byler, even if just a little bit :)

[lannisterdaddyissues]

that edge of tomorrow post you commented on is so good (I love the movie) and now I can’t stop thinking about an Icemav edge of tomorrow AU or a time loop AU ahhhhh (maybe even an AU where they’re both stuck in a time loop during their rivals phase and this is how they grow closer??) thank you for you good taste in movies 😊

ANON YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE TO DISCUSS ICEMAV AND EDGE OF TOMORROW!!! I AM SHAKING YOUR HAND VIGOROUSLY AND COMPLIMENTING YOU PROFUSELY ON YOUR GOOD TASTE 🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝✨✨✨✨✨

i have actually seen one icemav eot au fic in the tag somewhere before, i admittedly haven’t read it yet but let me find the link for you so you can read it: x

but man Man MAN i love the idea of an icemav time loop au, whether it’s edge of tomorrow-specific or not! i think that maverick needs to be the one in the time loop for sure, not just bc he is also a tc character but because narratively it would make the most sense! i like the idea that ice has to get to know him again every time but the fact that even though ice barely knows him he's still trusting mav and believing his story would start to chip away at mav's defenses and lead him to really trust ice back in return.

i can't decide when the time loop would take place but i guess the only obvious choice is for it to be the mission at the end of the movie? unless we're completely moving into au territory and setting it in london at the beach in which case that works too LOL

tho i kinda like the idea of it taking place in canon bc mav would already be fucked up post-goose's death and at first he'd be really broken by having to go through this so many times but ice!! helps him get through it!! he's a good boyfriend we love ice so much <3

anyway sorry for all this rambling but yeah i LOVE the idea of icemav eot au. honestly the time loop doesn't even have to be eot it could just be groundhog day where mav is like why am i looping?? and he tries EVERYTHING to break it til finally ice is like god idk this guy but my soul is yearning for him so im just gonna kiss him . and then wham bam the loop is broken icemav is forever the end!

anyway yes edge of tomorrow (2014) is a very good movie peak cinema eot enjoyers are in possession of the finest taste <3