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i-suc-at-art · 5 months

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Ummm.. I really love this fic

*hands @basilf1res this gently*

Any ways go read project “GH05T” it’s really good :)

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swordheld · 11 months

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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3 #i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai #after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where #it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.

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jils-things · 3 days

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you are pretty, dearest!

#SPEEDRUNNING TO POST BEFORE MY ABM QUIZ STARTS PLEASE POST POSTPOSDPTOPTT GKRKGKRKG #edit: editing this post to make it more presentable since i got time :3 #rendered this while at school hehe #~ art #♥️ constabell #okay okay and i gotta drop my thoughts here as usual #i totally imagine norton was expressing some sort of insecurity about his face and how it doesnt make him look any better. to which #irene rejects the idea and holds him closer. you are pretty! i think you are very handsome. words hit deep. but this one struck a chord dee #so deep that it reassures him that he still have some worth and he is still deserving of being loved. so much so that a beautiful lady-#is very much in love with him :3 #andd yes ^^ his burn scars do extend to his arm - i saw it in his model + sources online if you were able to remove his sleeve #im sure i posted about it here in this blog but its quite far now #i hc his scars to mostly appear on his left side - explains why his left temple is only affected #i imagine there is some coverage on his body as well - i actually wondered if im able to draw that out #unfortunately im jsut not good at masc anatomy so that needs some work. orr i just go chibi mode AHAHAH but what if i dont want to :pleadin

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monards · 4 months

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NEXT SILVER THREAD GAME FOCUSED ON BEAFORD BACKGROUND WE WIN!!!!

#spicaze also confirmed it’d talk about him being transmasc and that makes me sooooo hwppy #my beautiful med school drop out #beaford #silver thread

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boxwinebaddie · 2 months

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nina! do you have a rlly weird random hc? <3

okay, this is a little Unhinged…

buuut did i tell y’all about the brief post!rm super best friend model era jersey hc where chanel invites him to walk for their fall collection at new york fashion week…

…In The Iconic Yérsey Chanel GLASSES?

( while ravenstan and crimson dawn are on their Epic Punk Rock World Tour…

— iN PARIS?!?! )

#i am screaming shsjdjsk #it’s my favorite romcom moment #listen jk had school he couldn’t go #dork ass bitch #nevermind love u supermodel boyfriend jersey #i know he looked sickeningly beautiful #i also combined it w the hc abt jk and french #more on that later #more on this later BUT LISTEN #WHERE IS THE RM ROMCOM MOVIE SEQUEL #it’s giving the devil wears prada punk rock almost famous #but also nina stop seperating the boys #to be fair jk finally dropped out of law school #to pursue his guidance counsellor degree #and rs is was no ky u cannot follow me u have to follow ur dream #you’ve been doing that ur whole life i will not let u #but i miss u :( send me pictures of u next to the tiny chairs :( </3 #not crying lol #but yes ill write it out sometime maybe #if people are curious about it i just got excited #SBFM YERSEY!

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medievalthymes · 1 year

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booty shorts that say “victor frankenstein doesn’t even have a medical degree”

#‘uh the frankenstein is actually the doctor not the monster’— WRONG!!!#beauty school drop out 🎶#sarah.txt #my pathetic little man

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lulubeanie · 4 months

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Psychonauts dream.. Compton was there and hanging out with Ford :]

#duck speaks #they were going through a brain that was elementary school themed (like an elementary school but if it were weird mostly)#Otto and Bob had apparently already went in but they got lost or something so they went to find them and get them out #Helmut and Lucy and Cassie were sitting this one out I think. having fun elsewhere #a lot of the dream was like. going through a the halls and looking in the rooms (while also trying not to distract the kids)#or sometimes when you went in a room it would teleport you into a seat and you'd have to answer the questions correctly to get out #if you did something wrong it would restart I think #in one of the rooms though there was a flower pot with like.#a toy flower that had been grown really tall and large so that it could reach an open ceiling panel #oh I forgot to mention that this brain would make you small. shrunk #also for some reason Compton was leading this and Ford was following and doing what he said ?#he was kinda nervous and seemed like mostly he was winging it but Ford trusted him #anyways.#they figured that probably Bob grew that plant. which means him and Otto probably went up there #when they got into the ceiling it switched to be like. a neighbor and bus drop off ?#and they were in the bus but there was no driver. Ford took the driver's place and Compton would tell him which way to go #they drove around and helped kids (one of them brought their dog on the bus and it ran out the door and Compton had to go get it back)#but Bob and Otto weren't anywhere to be seen #I think they saw another plant somewhere but I woke up before they could check it out #I hope they found them wherever that one wouldn't taken them #psychonauts #<- forgot that #this is just what my dreams are like btw #they're beautiful and vivid and colorful and they always tell me some kind of story :]#and characters love to be in them also

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#there's something really beautiful about experiencing the weather patterns of a new place #where i live now. its not like where i grew up. not like the foothills of Appalachia but its more familiar than the Chihuahuan desert was #when i go home to ohio everythings so green. so green. unimaginably green and the towns are in the woods. the hills roll #and trees billow deciduous and packed so tightly the treeline is like a wall of plant matter. here there are trees but they are tall and #evergreen. patchy in places like shrubs in the desert. the grass grows green but also pale tan and dead. houses are routed in valleys #between mountains. they're made of wood and not stucco but they still look strange and the landscape is crumpled together tall. and there's #water. it rains. days can be dreary and gray with drizzle. i forgot what thats like. when a single low stratus cloud blocks out thewhole sk #and fog clings to the trees. my school bus used to drive by a lake where thr fog was so thick i didnt kno how the driver could see the road #but somehow i forgot how much joy suspended water vapor gives me living in a place where when it rains it pours so hard the streets flood #and the greedy ground drinks the landscape dry. but there are new things as well. here smoke rolls up over thr mountains and gets stuck in #the valleys so that the weather forcast reads: Smoke for days on end. im used to tornado warnings and heat warnings and dust storm warnings #but ive never expected Smoke as a type of weather. and im sure there's more to experience. ive only been here like 3 weeks. its not as gree #as home. the storms dont seem to get quite so violent. the woods are so full of bears that its an active threat. but its not the desert #and while ill miss the shapes of desert plants and little lizards. when i look up at the pine and spruce trees i feel like i can breathe a #little easier. well see how i feel once the long cold winter sets in haha #but i dunno. part of me still longs for a violent thunderstorm. one where u can feel the temperature drop and u csn feel it building all da #one that bends the trees and smells like ozone. it was never like that in thr southwest and im not sure that happens here #but maybe thats just a desire for chaos and violence as a product of my pathological internal control. i cant be spontaneous so let nature #bring the fear to me. some of my favorite memories are watching lightning strikes #so it goes i suppose #unrelated #listen. is it fucked up to have ohio nostalgia? maybe so. but in my defense i grew up in the pretty part of ohio lol

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1327-1 · 4 days

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WHATEVER!!! i'm starting a cd collection and went to the fair next to my hometown w my friends!!!!!

#its just so important to me to be able to go back to my hometown and be out and about...#esp growing up and was completely dropped by my only external family and forced out of school by shitty teachers and also bcoz i started #transitioning and idk. it's just so eye opening who i can be as i can finally experience the world not completely alone and isolated and #afraid in my decisions... 2025 i learn how to drive and maybe reach out to hunters of color to get the ball rolling #i do love my hometown and what it was WHEN i was growing up there... but who i became made it difficult and ofc there's always going to be #some really shitty and sketchy areas to be in as a black trans person esp in the country but idk... i HAVE to do it.. it's what i've been #expecting from myself for a very long time...#anyways i met a cutting horse and some very big large and beautiful draft horses #also a horse who got his eye poked out by an apple branch ):#the smell of barn animals is just so comforting to me too.. peace and love.....#.jrnl

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asky22 · 1 year

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So I watched Grease in cinema today for its 40th anniversary and, mind you I grew up watching this, I didn't think it possible for me to fall in love with the movie even more.

The way I wanted to sob because of how happy watching the movie made me feel. Though it was the first time I didn't watch it with the family which puts a damper on the mood BUT IT'S GREASE. No way am I letting my mood ruin this gem of a movie for me.

When I tell you this shot TAKES ME OUT EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! Would you believe me????

#grease #tell me why i found myself shipping two people who had TWO INTERACTIONS together #the way i wanted to scream the lyrics but stopped myself for the other's watching benefit #the way Kenickie is the most softest #most cutest person ever!!#i blame Grease for my expectations of prom #i know it was just a dance and i know im from the uk so we're not big on prom at all but did that stop me from romanticing prom and being #heavily let down by how it went when i attened????#no no it did not!!!!#currently listening to beauty school drop out and want to watch the whole movie all over again #the way im still baffled that they're high school kids and NOT college kids!!#like.....it would have been a lot more plausible if that were the case lol #grease 1978 #70s movies #john travolta #olivia newton john #danny zuko #kenickie #frenchie #sandra dee

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deathbypufferfish · 2 years

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PUFFER SPOTTED

It's true I have big Disney money now and am best friends with halle bailey 🤭😌

#puffer answers #this is the only live action remake ive wanted to see #i was an ariel girly #was also cast as ariel in my school musical but i had to drop out rip #also it will just be visually beautiful i want to see mermaid cgi #ask

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daltonblaine · 2 years

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blaine rarely breaks during performances but the two times i can remember him breaking is both because of kurt 😭

#i just rewatched animal gcv and i cried jJFSJGJKGKDSDG #the other one is beauty school drop out of course #shh sapphire

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solradguy · 1 year

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Started the translation for chapter 3 of the GG1 Comic Anthology tonight. Some tricky Japanese cultural references I need to do some more research for that I wasn't expecting are slowing me down but I'll figure it out. My library has some books on Japanese history and culture that I'm going to start reading to make these types of translations a little easier in the future.

It's both fascinating and frustrating how closely interwoven the Japanese language is with Japanese culture compared to other languages I've studied (Classical Latin, Norwegian, Spanish). Fascinating because it's always interesting learning new things about a culture so different from my own, yet frustrating because finding resources to figure out these references can be extremely difficult since I live outside of Japan...

I'll just do my best with these kinds of translations. If it's wrong, I'm sure I'll get a message about it lol. At the end of the day, I am just a random Ohioan doing all this for fun haha

#textpost #It's been a LOOOOOOONGGG time since I've used Latin or Spanish in a major way. I'm very rusty #Norwegian I studied the most out of those three but I dropped it a few years ago to study Japanese full time #I miss it though. It's a fun language that's pretty easy for a native English speaker #Just didn't ever get to use it and it was discouraging...#Reconstructed Classical Latin sounds beautiful. I love it so much. But it was honestly harder to grasp than Japanese #I could not wrap my head around the declension charts no matter how hard I tried rofl #Spanish is fun too while also being useful but I took it in high school and haven't had motivation to study it seriously since

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theyaoiconnoisseur · 1 year

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Call my school tumblr high the way they make the stupidest desicions that literally everyone hates and also how half the school is high

#silver.talks #‘ oh yes we have all this renovation money so instead of making desks a more suitable height or making more comfortable chairs or anything #to help students we will redo the floors and and also paint a beautiful blue wall boring white’ I am going to hunt you for sport #‘oh yeah if you late you can’t get excused because even if it’s reasonable this is just how life is lol. also we’re making it so if you’re #late three times you can’t redo tests either. what do you mean help depressed students. fuck no.’#‘ also you have to have a high score for gym and a 100% attendance if you don’t you either fail the year or get kicked out of school’ BITCJ #THE GOAL OF TGE SCHOOL WAS BEING INTERNATION NOT BEING ATHLETIC #I hate this so much I am actively considering dropping out

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loststolenorstrayed · 2 years

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You all gotta watch Flip Flappers it’s such a fucking trip

#my post's #my post’s #that shit was my first real anime and it gave me such wild unliveuptoable expectations #magical girls going to beautifully designed weird as hell alternate universes every episode #bizarre things that I’m not sure if they are fanservice or are making fun of fanservice or both but I wouldn’t take them out #even though I kinda hate them it would ruin the absolutely insane tone #a fucking wish granting cult that genetically engineered more than half of the cast and is the antagonist #a trapped young girl with magic powers growing up to continue the cycle of abuse and control with her magic powers #lesbianism. so much lesbianism.#the most autistic pair of main characters.#mommy issues (previously elaborated on)#musings on whether your problems make you who you are #RENOWNED for having the best OP & ED ever #several genders of mad scientist #sidekick creatures with unclear levels of sapience and bizarre plot relevance #telepathic twins #lore shit dropped in your lap that you just gotta keep up with #and THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND MOST ANIME ART STYLE I HAVE EVER SEEN OR WILL EVER SEE #look maybe I’m biased because it was my first after the ghost stories dub (no kidding) but flip flappers is my favourite anime of all time #it and the shelter music video inspired a trope in my own writing that persisted all the way from middle school to 2020 #(the isolated girl trapped amid beauty. specifically in her room)#a bunch of my ocs were just Mimi #god. flip flappers is so good and so crazy.#flip flappers #anime #anime recs #GOD AND I FORGOT THE EMPHASIS PLACED ON FRIENDSHIP. IN THIS KINDA FUCKED WAY THAT SPEAKS TO ME SO MUCH #This anime. man. it’s just me this is my brain with 75% more shiny colour and frills

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munyequitos · 4 days

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IM ALMOST DONE WITH FUCKING SKYPIEA CHAT!!

#3. MORE. EPISODES!!!!#since i dropped out of school ive had way more time to one piece its quite beautiful #muñe talks

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