#because i was actually really humiliated by that incident tbh

[liliopdf]

this week (this is my attempt at journali-fying my blog)

- ive been complimented the most since this new school started

- met an old close friend i don’t talk to anymore because he transferred to a boys school notorious for raising rich and arrogant assholes when we were 14 and changed drastically after that (i u-turned instantly when i saw him but pretended not to recognise him even when made eye contact like ten times but he still waved at me at the end so it’s okay)

- got a dm from my old classmate to catch up (actually ive spoken to so many old friends recently my heart is so warm and full ❤️❤️)

- but have also realised this clique leader doesn’t like me and she’s influenced one of her members to be afraid of speaking to me too even though we we chatted in a shared class the week before

- realised that im not the only one who noticed the clique leader being hostile ish towards me 😍😍 (anyway my friends and i all agree that it is much better to be the bullied than the bully so i don’t care and i’m grateful she doesn’t like me because i don’t want to interact with her anyway)

- omg but also the girl that was scared to talk to me in front of the clique leader was so nice to me in our shared class like… the first time i tried speaking to her when the leader was there she was so dismissive and kept backing up when i was trying to help her with her project but the next day we clicked so well again and she kinda waited for me after class but idk i told her i needed to stay and ask the teacher if my submission went through and then we accidentally met each other in the lift again and she complimented my hair colour but we just awkwardly stood away from each other after that because we were texting our own friends ro meet for lunch

- actually half of them are nice and i can talk to i just think Thing One is the common… idk fear (??) here because lots of people even those from other classes have pointed this out

- oh and i managed to compliment this girl who’s style ive wanted to compliment for WEEKS because i love casually dropping compliments but she was so pretty and intimidating with good style so it took me time but i did it

[raisinchallah]

i have to say i do think people are full on lying when they talk about english classes on this website like i was a total bookworm and loved writing as a child but that was like systematically crushed essentially the second i started taking dedicated english classes lol i always had kinda checked out teachers who seemed to enjoy humiliating students or thought u should read like a 250 page book over the course of 3 months and make you literally take notes for every page they were often my most vindictive and cruel teachers of any subject (tho i think the most vindictive teachers i had were math teachers i had a lot more nice very good math teachers than english teachers) made kids feel horrible for poor reading skills or were simply incompetent and boring.. two of the english teachers i had in high school were honestly the main precipitating incident to dropping out because i was failing to make up all the insane busy work or they like docked 50% of my grade on a paper because i wasnt in class that day for rosh hashanah lol something i informed them of in advance and turned it in a day later themes and meaning were covered only in the most pathetic miserable fashion of like standardized test reading comprehension questions i mean i had one really great english teacher but he was like such an outlier where he was mostly working in administration and was using our class as guinea pigs for his new curriculum he was developing and turning into a textbook and like we were literally his only class so he actually had time and energy to give people personalized feedback let students revise their papers for a new grade as many times as they wanted to ran really interesting class discussions on material we read in class and tbh focused more on history stuff than reading novels we did a whole project on learning about the american eugenics movement which was probably one of the most important and illuminating things ive ever learned in school but again this was like such a niche specific case i certainly would not generalize this to the grand world of high school english classes lol

[pinkxlicious]

Oliver Wood pt. 2

Oliver Wood

Tbh I just bullshitted the end, im not that crazy about this oneshot....

Word count: 1,348

'''

You returned back to your common room, your roommate, Luna Lovegood, gave you a confused look, refering to your muddy clothes and messy hair. You mumbled something incoherent before grumbling to yourself all the way to the bathroom.

You avoided the mirror before turning on the shower to a steamy setting. You walked out and grabbed some clothes, unknowingly you grabbed your boyfriend's shirt. You quickly stripped and jumped into the steaming shower. Your muscles relaxed as you contemplated your life and your relationship with your boyfriend.

You loved Oli very dearly, and it hurt like hell after hearing Angelina tell you what he said about you. He was drunk so he probably didn't mean it, but it still didn't sit right with you.

'Drunk thoughts are sober thoughts'

That singular quote repeated over and over in your head until you realized you've been standing in the shower for almost ten minutes, doing absolutely nothing. You quickly finish up and leave the bathroom. You notice your roommates have left the room and you had the room to yourself.

You the heard rapid knocking on you door, it sounded urgent so you quickly whipped open the door. You were met face to face with Oliver. He looked absolutely hammered from his hangover. He pushed his way inside and closed the door, he grabbed you by the waist and kissed you hard. He still tasted faintly of alcohol and he smelt a bit like smoke. You couldn't help but melt into him. But not for long, the remembrance of what Angelina had told you and the fact that he left you all alone in the dark. Where you had no where to go and where you were vulnerable. Death eaters where everywhere. Last week there was a break in, though it was quickly resolved you feared for your life everyday. Most students were pulled out of school by their parents because of the incident. You shivered at the thought of being kidnapped and tortured by a death eater.

You pushed Oliver away and wiped your slick lips,

"You have a LOT of explaining to do. You LEFT me in a field all alone! Have you forgotten what happened last week? Lavender Brown almost DIED, Hogwarts is no longer safe, and you have the NERVE to pull something like this???" you grew angrier with every word as you pointed to his chest. Oliver sighed and looked up at the ceiling, and then back down at you. He pressed his forehead to yours and spoke softly,

"Sweetheart I was drunk as hell, I really didn't mean to do that. I didn't mean to leave you out there like that. If I could go back and take it back I would, I know how scared you are. I will never do that again,"

"Thats not enough Oli, you got insanely drunk and humiliated me in front of all your Gryffindor friends. And no offense, all you fucking Gryffindors and NEVER keep your damn mouths shut. I've had at least ten people come up to me asking about YOU and what YOU said about me!" You backed away from his touch and crossed your arms. "If you had an issue with me in the first place you should've just came to me. You shouldn't have gotten piss drunk and go about telling everyone OUR business."

Oliver looked slightly confused,

"I'm not sure what you're talking about? Humiliated you? What do you mean, what did I say??"

"Of course you don't remember, you were so drunk you were shouting in the common room about how much you wish I was gone. About how much I annoyed you, and that sometimes you wished I was never your girlfriend. Apparently you also said things much much worse than that. But I am not sure if I wanna know what you said." You said coldly, hurt laced your words. Although you kept your tone consistent, Oliver could hear a small break in your words and his heart broke.

"I can explain. I- I actually can't, I just need you to know that whatever I said was mindless babbling. I would never intentionally hurt you and I hope you know that everything I said was shit. I am a shitty person for even getting that drunk in the first place. I'm sorry for humiliating you, leaving you out in the dark. I- I wouldn't know what to do with myself if you got because of me.." Oliver poured his heart out, he loved his girl, she was the most beautiful being to walk on Earth. The moment he had her to himself he decided to devote his entire life to loving every part of her. He couldn't believe how close and how careless he could be to losing his other half, his love, his light, his will to live.

"You shouldn't have been so careless," You said quietly. Your heart swelled slightly with sadness but also appreciation, you read him so well. His face expressed regret, remorse, and love. You knew he loved you, but this one thing contradicted your feelings. "I wish you didn't say those things."

Oliver nearly cried, he fell to his knees and hugged your legs. You looked at him shocked, as he looked up to you pleading for forgiveness.

 "I would never in a million years mean those words. Darling, I'm so devoted to you, you could hurt me over and over again and I would never speak those words and mean it. Because at the end of the day you are who I want, who I look for. I know I am being extremely cheesy... but its truly how I feel. I'm so in love with you and I just want your forgiveness, you're all I want," Oliver gushed out, his confident exterior always seemed to melt when he was around you. Nobody would've guessed that the cocky, confident quidditch captain had such a soft heart.

You took a deep breath and pulled him up from the floor and sighed.

"Baby, you didn't have to do all that. I forgive you, I really do,"

"Oh thank Merlin," Oliver breathed out, "darling, I'm so obsessed with you. I cannot-I will not ever forgive myself for almost losing you like that. I swear on my life this will never happen again."

He stared into your eyes with so much love and want. He kissed you cautiously, you kissed him deeper. You pulled his face in, you rubbed your thumb soothingly against his cheek. He held your waist tightly, never wanting to let you go. He held you tightly against him, appreciating how you forgave him.

"How can I repay you? For being so kind as always, you're too good to me," Oliver whispered shaking his head. "you treat me so well, and look what I'm doing to you."

You stared into his eyes,

"Just kiss me,"

"Gladly,"

You pull him in by his belt looks and capture his lips into a long passionate kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck as he touches your waist, gliding his hands around. Feeling every part of you, hoping you know that he loves every inch of your body.

"I'm never letting you go, I'm never leaving you again, you're never leaving my side," Oliver murmured, more to himself, he still felt horrible.

"You are forgiven, I forgive you," You whisper into his ear as you kiss his jawline gently.

"What else can I do? Let me make it up to you please. I cannot forgive myself unless I give you all I can," Oliver begged, tilting your head so you made eye contact with him. You fell silent, considering what to ask of him.

"Maybe take me out on a date, a nice one," You said, you didn't want to ask too much of him, although you knew he would give you the world if he could. 

"That's all?" Oliver asked, quirking an eyebrow. "If I were you, I would've asked myself to beg for forgiveness... oh but I guess I already did that..."

"No, you've already apologized, and I will take your word for it. I love you and I'm willing to give you another chance."

"You're so perfect,"

[apoptoses]

for the fic ask: 14. If I were to write a sequel to this fic, what would it be about?

fic: piss fic (i'm here to be a menace but also i want to know 🥹)

(for the specific fic asks)

You know, you think you're being a menace but actually Angle of Incidence is probably the one shot I'm the most proud of. Like I really feel like I achieved something there in regards to character exploration/kink/what it means to do something you don't like for someone you love because you love the way it pleases them. I love that fic, I wish more people asked about it tbh

ANYWAYS

I'm of two minds on this:

On one hand I'd like to keep pushing the boundaries of what Daniel will go through to please Armand- how far can he be lead into doing something he's skeptical about, or doesn't necessarily fantasize about on his own but he would want to do because Armand wants it? How safe can Armand make him feel to turn an 'awful' experience into something he's enjoying in a roundabout way?

So like my immediate thought is sounding. Because the whole idea of that would really wig Daniel out, he'd have to put so much trust in Armand to do that safely and to figure out how to make it feel good (and if it doesn't feel good, how to make the reward at the end worth the struggle to endure the sensation). And on Armand's end that's an activity he may have never heard of before meeting Daniel and exploring the modern world of sex and kink, it's a sensation he would be curious about. And really, what a power trip it would be for him to have Daniel let him put a little metal rod there.

I think Daniel would come around to liking it, tbh. It's a weird feeling, it's something he'd only let Armand do, he's down for anything potentially dangerous or painful.

(maybe I'll try starting that this weekend and see where it goes)

Alternatively, I also want Armand to push the limits on watersports and what Daniel will do with that. Because Armand hasn't had that function in centuries and what could he get Daniel to do? Could he get him to do it again in the shower? Could he play some obedience game where he gets to give Daniel permission to get up whenever they go out to a bar and Daniel drinks a lot? Would Daniel let him be a little creep who follows him into a bathroom and holds his dick for him while he goes?

The options are endless and potentially humiliating for Daniel at every single turn and I just love tormenting him in that way.

(and I'll probably do this sometime as well, it's been on my mind too long not to)

I hope these are appealing, thank you for letting me get freaky on main.

[padfootastic]

I saw a Reddit comment about it, and I was wondering what you think would’ve happened if Snape had seriously injured or even killed James when he cast “Sectumsempra” on him in SWM? I personally think that Sirius, who was raised by the Blacks, would’ve seriously retaliated, unless someone else stopped him because either witnesses were around or Snape should be arrested instead, or that Sirius would’ve been hellbent on ensuring Snape rotted in Azkaban, because Sirius is still a wealthy pureblood heir and so was James, so they both are fairly influential as a result. My point is, Snape could’ve killed James in that scene and I feel like people ignore that Snape used a Dark curse in that scene that we saw nearly kill Draco and seriously injure George

an ask an ask i got an ask!!

*coughs* let’s try that again.

so. this is an interesting question that made me look up properties of sectumsempra bc i remember someone downplaying it but yeah, no, it’s still a potentially deadly dark curse that can lead to death if left untreated. so, moving forward with that assumption here’s a few thoughts and questions.

- did snape deliberately use a weaker version of it that day? was it not fully developed? did james keep bleeding from it? how did it get healed?

- in an event when the full powered spell hit james, how would snape go about it? is vulnera sanentur a known curse? would the healer know to use it? i’m a bit skeptical bc snape was the one who helped draco + how possessive (and secretive) he is of that doesn’t help the case. so would he just let james bleed out? sneak in middle of the night and do his thang? hope the nurse gets it? idk. i have an uncharitable view of the dude and i don’t think he’ll do any of the latter. maybe he tries to rationalise it to himself? but yeah, def don’t see a james-esque saviour vibe in him.

- so in the event james does get killed/harmed—i think, much as i hate, you have to acknowledge the power dynamics here. when the myrtle incident happened, hagrid (a half giant, less influential than a good looking, powerful half blood) was blamed and kicked out. if this happens, u just know the administration might go for something similar bc snape is the weaker party and regardless of whether james’ parents are out for blood (which they might be tbh) they’ll need to do it to set a step by example so the other purebloods don’t get fired up about the whole thing. they’ll probably also try to pin the whole dark magic thing (no matter how weird conceptualised it is) on snape and basically use it as a way to justify kicking him out.

- will he get azkaban? i…don’t think so, actually. not unless some very obvious retribution/revenge is carried out by the potters or sirius. hagrid was only expelled, harry got detention for the draco thing, draco didn’t even have consequences for almost murdering so many people—clearly magical injuries are treated a bit lackadaisically (and i think punishments r given not to reduce them, exactly, but save face?). there’s the dumbledore aspect of it, he might offer help or ‘sanctuary’ or whatever tf. of course, i don’t see 5th year snape, recently humiliated, ever accepting a groundskeeper adjacent position with dumbledore, ever. so then, is going back to his childhood house really any better than azkaban for him?

when it comes to sirius, though, oh ho ho. the poor guy would definitely wish he wasn’t born. all talk of privilege and power dynamics are gone bc james is not here. there’s anything sirius can deal with if james is there but he’s not so he can’t. 5th year sirius would also not have such a great control over his baser emotions so he would just lose his shit. like, i can just imagine him waiting in the hospital, praying fervently that james will be okay because there was so much blood but also it’s james and when has that bastard ever not gotten up? right? and then he gets The News and i can just see his magic bursting out of him? like an uncontrolled magical explosion ykno? just because of how turbulent his emotions are and it’s never like that and yeah. he’ll definitely go for revenge of some kind—like to the point he’ll have to be held back, which will be a whole feat bc he’s so fkn powerful ykno? like he’ll have to be incarcerous-ed by three people sort of held back.

and the faculty and students would know to keep an eye on sirius black. everyone has seen how close him and james were, there’s rumors all over of how ruthless the blacks are and no one expects snape to get off scot free (nvm that he’s probably expelled w his wand snapped) so sirius has to reign himself back very hard bc of how scrutinised he is. i can also see dumbles calling him in for a fuckall ‘let go of ur anger’ meeting and just, yeah. i think sirius would become a very ‘angry young man’ stereotype tbh. a lot of rage with nowhere to go sort of a situation.