You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
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I love libraries.
I'm browsing the WWI shelves (as you do) and notice a very old book about the war. I glance at the first pages that talk about how one day the war will be over and we'll look at this place and not see any signs of the battlefield.
Then it hits me. And I check the publishing date.
This book was printed before the war's end. Not written. Printed. The physical object was created in 1918, while the war in question was raging and the end was as yet uncertain.
Now I'm standing on the other side of the apocalypse, with this physical link to that era in my hands. I'm living proof that the war did end and life did go on and we can all look at the end of the world as a long-ago memory.
Reading old books is cool enough, connecting our minds and hearts through the ideas of people who lived long ago, but there's something extra profound about holding a copy of the book that comes from the time that it was written. It's a physical link between the past and the present connecting me to those long-ago people. A piece of the past come into the future that gives me the chance to almost take the hand of some long-ago reader, to hold something they could have held, connecting not just mentally but physically to their era, a moment of connection across more than a century.
Excuse me while I go weep.
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I've been avoiding episode 1115 for an entire month after it was released and despite reading in the manga about what will transpire, I'm still brokenhearted because the guilt of not being able to protect his ship and crew will flood more questions for Law because surviving yet again has got to be a sick joke from some sort of higher power at a certain point. Is it because he's a D that there's a mysterious force compelling him to survive no matter what? Why him, specifically? If an incurable disease and a limited lifespan was not enough to kill him, if his fate was so checkered to the point that he had to bear witness losing his family, his savior, his home, and his nakamas, what's the point of being alive? He has too much love to give and I won't be surprised if he was already introspecting on the idea that he's like a curse bringing the inevitable to his loved ones because his love was doomed to be tragic and unfortunate.
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Wait you guys......
Mike and Will are in love
No because like they're just...they're just a wholesome childhood friends to lovers slowburn I'm gonna rewatch like "aww you don't know yet".
Like....
Mike and Will are in love.
They fell in love from ages 12-16(?). That's so cute. What the hell. I just randomly starting thinking about it like it's just some show I just heard about or something and I'm like "aw cute trope". What a cute trope wtf. That's adorable. Two twelve year old boys in the 80s and they fall in love over the course of many years as they grapple with internalized homophobia and homophobia in their small town? That sounds like a GREAT show where can I watch it? That's adorable.
Mike and Will are in love. And...that's just the premise. That's just the premise of their plot. If you came up to me after you watched episode 1 for spoilers and you were like "What happens to Lucas? Dustin? Mike? That girl they found? The kid who went missing?" I could just be like "Dustin gains confidence and becomes besties with Mike's sister's boyfriend after they break up, Lucas meets this girl who's introduced next season and they're really good for each other, the girl gets adopted by the police chief and then into the Byers and has a great found family and independence arc, and the boy who went missing survives and he and Mike fall in love!"
And that'd just be like...right. I'd just be telling you what happens.
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i was gonna say "i shouldn't have to go to work when my brain feels like a depression slushie" and then i was like "wait but then i'd basically never ever go to work" and i'm actually doubling down on the first part now bc my god how am i supposed to heal my brain from burning out 5 years ago if i can never get an actual break
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I've ranted a whole lot about the importance of physical media in the past. I love physical media. I have a CD and vinyl collection of stuff from my favorite bands, and am currently getting back into reading and found I vastly prefer physical books over both ebooks and audiobooks. I got the entire DVD box of ATLA last year just so that I can watch it whenever I like.
But it took me until today to realize that the reason why is because of how badly all these digital streaming service-platforms have affected me.
Like, I found art from a webcomic a while ago that I thought looked really interesting, but have been putting off reading the thing for MONTHS. I couldn't quite put my finger on why until I found out yesterday that there are printed, physical copies for sale of the entire webcomic itself in book format. And despite absolutely insane shipping costs, I could at some point buy it, and keep it.
And now I finally started reading it, and I'm loving it.
Turns out, I would rather put myself through sickening, nauseating FOMO than risk the piece of media getting taken off the platform it's available on in the middle of me reading/watching it.
What the fuck.
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I don't know... horrible things happen all around the world and it's not a competition
Atrocities are committed against multiple groups in multiple parts of the world at the exact same moment, and none of them erase each other. They all matter, all the people in this world who are being brutalized matter. There shouldn't be any line you draw where one group doesn't actually matter as much as another
You're welcome to prioritize your energy towards helping one group or another, but what's not ok is invalidating or dismissing people who are actively being harmed
Same goes for trying to figure out which social group has things worst (and lets be honest, always using a US lens)
Like... maybe the important thing is to prop each other up and help everyone get on their own feet rather than trying to... pick fights about if physical disabilities or mental illness are less respected (I'm trying to pick a more absurd example but sadly I've seen exactly that argument happen before). Maybe it doesn't really matter and what matters is helping who we can when we can
I'm tired of it, I'm just fucking tired of it. Support people, champion them when the world is just brutalizing them, but you don't need to throw a single other person under the bus to do that
Which seems to be an absolutely impossible lesson for people to learn
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This is your gentle reminder that grief, of any kind, manifests physically in the body and it's very normal to be ill after loss. Get your fluids. Get your rest. Try to eat light. Take your meds.
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OKAY I'm supposed to be getting my haircut on monday but I'm thinking. I skip it.
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Just want to point out that I won't be answering nor discussing anything personal lives wise, especially here on tumblr, because:
1- it's not my business nor my life.
2- if the boys share some things so be it, if not, I owe them the respect to their privacy, I mean yes some things are obvious but still, they don't know me and I don't know them to the point where I'd have a say or discussion about their personal lives.
3- again, it's not my business.
So, I really wish Chris all the happiness in the world, God knows he deserves it. And I wish the same for Seb too and each person I love and admire.
And yes, this blog will remain the same (I'm trying my best to be more active as usual but sometimes life happens)
I love you all, and please respect my wishes, because I won't be answering the few anon asks I got from yesterday.
Take care of yourselves and if somehow you feel like this fandom isn't for you anymore? That's fine, take a step back, and hopefully everyone finds all the things they look for, and finds the love and happiness they deserve ❤️
Have a good day.
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In other news my biceps are starting to no longer look crushed inside. They were purple in the muscle and deep tissue in a way that was showing through to the skin, and now they are not like that.
It might have required a double dosage of antihistamines and taking ibuprofen with aspirin [a half dose each], but in the long run it's bilirubin from destroyed cells that taxes my liver the most, so I promise this is the best thing for me right now.
I can lift my own weight with my arms to get out of bed without horrid pain again.
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pushing daisies kaishin au #1
shinichi was killed by aptx 4869 but for some reason kaito was in tropical land as well and passed by where shinichi's dead body was, touched him, and brought him back to life.
kaito is aware he can bring dead things back to life with one touch since he was a kid. he’s also aware that the second touch will kill it again. permanently.
he has most of his resurrection experiences with his doves and flowers
the thought that he could possibly resurrect a human did cross his mind but what's the use when the one person he wanted to bring back didn't even have a body left to touch
so sue him if he accidentally touches a dead body he previously thought was someone just passed out.
there's a noticeable red glow that shines on the stranger that has happened enough to his doves and flowers he revived before to know exactly what he has done.
shinichi wakes up disoriented but completely sure that the searing heat and the pain on his chest earlier should've killed him yet there he was, alive. with a splitting headache and a bad taste in his mouth, yes, but alive.
kaito dumbly opens with, "you're alive...oh FUCK, you were dead!"
shinichi who still can’t see straight says, “which one is it, i can’t tell.”
shinichi sits up and tries to steady himself on the wall but instead weakly flails his hand towards kaito.
"NO! DON’T TOUCH ME!"
“okay...i’m not sure if i’m dead or not but i’m pretty sure i’m not contagious.”
kaito puts on his KID gloves and pulls shinichi up who's still looking dazed and confused.
"listen, i know you're a little disoriented what with all th- shit! your head is bleeding. okay *deep breathes* come with me but do NOT touch me."
"you're the one holding my hand"
"not the UNCLOTHED parts of me"
"I wasn't planning to 😒"
"OH MY GOD 🙄"
i still have 2 other variations of pushing daises kaishin au left ;)
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In Australia you get paid extra for working on a sunday. Minimum wage for someone my age on casual hours when working a sunday is something like $43 an hour. My bosses had some legal bullshit that allowed them to pay me a bit less at like $37 an hour for sundays. So the whole time I've been here I've been getting underpaid. The courts have informed them that they're no longer allowed to do that and now they have to pay me the actual minimum wage on sundays.
I've been informed that I will no longer be working weekends, unless I agree to become full time or part time, which would mean getting paid even less than I already was. Which they claim would be better because I would get holidays and sick days... they also give you the lowest amount of those they can legally get away with.
Man, I fucking hate small business owners
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I'm not good at this staying away from social media on purpose thing. Anyway cringe diary time but whenever I'm with my friends and the partners topic comes up I'm left 🧍♂️ because oftentimes they lament things that honestly sound good to me... and then I reflect on what kind of relationship I would be comfortable in in general and go "mhhh yeah let's just be sympathetic and say nothing else right"
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