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#because i'm a little ashamed
uncanny-tranny · 6 months
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I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant
#positivity#pro aging#also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye#saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end#i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks#it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging#in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom#as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you#older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake#and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints#and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like...#...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same...#...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that...#...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that...#...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are...#...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself#and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older#but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences#and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe...#...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body#i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was#i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it#and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World#it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living#inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH#didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????
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okkennymay · 1 year
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This time around I thought I would make a comic relaying the events after the last time I posted, because my gosh is it easier to explain with pretty pictures than upsetting words >vO I prefer to make jokes about my situation than anything, ‘cause honestly it’s a solid way of dealing with it and I take so many medications as it is, why not add laughter to it I say! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
Despite my condition’s best efforts I still managed to organise and complete a commission with someone through emails! Thank you @waezi2 you were so patient as I arose from my grave every other day to get things done (❁´◡`❁) Fighting my body and winning to complete it was the victory I needed! The sheer satisfaction I get from a commission well received by someone is like pure nectar to me~ Sweet sustenance I just can’t get enough of! The money don’t hurt either, Disability Support Pensions do not go far in this economy 👀 This is as close as I can get to having a job and I wont let C.V.S (Cyclic vomiting Syndrome) or Chrohns take that from me! 
I’m raring to dive into more if anyone’s interested ♪(´▽`) I’m just about to post a new “commissions sheet” to broadcast that very fact >vO I do love having something to draw between Ectober pages~
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front-facing-pokemon · 10 months
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#another bonus under the cut where i got up under their big head to get 'em a little closer and a little more front-facing#aggron#aggron is just cool. a big metal bitch who *could* hug you but is probably actually just gonna obliterate you. is that anything#i think i prefer lairon more. it's kinda just a little metal creature and i think that's awesome but aggron stands up#and normally i'm a big big fan of when pokémon stand up. when everyone wanted sprigatito to not stand up i was like#please stand up. because i am a furry and i knew it was gonna become favorite pokémon material if it did. and it did and meowscarada is#wonderful and i love it and it's one of my top like 10 of all time. but aggron is like. i dunno. a little too gruff for me#i think aron and lairon are cute and i'm generally a fan of and user of cute pokémon but aggron is very. how you say. aggressive#and also… ron… aggressive ron. new show on netflix i just reinvented aggretsuko but for pokémon#also weirdly every furry on the face of the earth likes aggretsuko but for one i've never had a netflix account and for two i just#don't ever watch shows. it's just not something that works in my brain. having to get them‚ and then just taking the time to sit down and do#it just never does anything for me. the last show i watched was because i was over at a friend's house and he was like hey. we're watching#this show now. i want you to see this show. and it's a show that folks generally lamented for a lot of reasons so i was like iii dunno about#that one! but he was like no trust me it's fine. and then i was like. kinda uninterested at first but it turned out to be really good#and i'm still ashamed. that i liked it as much as i did. so i will not say what it is. it's not supernatural. it's a short-ish show#but like it was good and i didn't expect it to be. which has nothing to do with aggretsuko OR with aggron for that matter#literally idk. look it's distraction (AGGRON DISTRACTION)
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willaro · 13 days
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👥: omgh Gallaxhar's family is so cute!!!!
Gallaxhar's family:
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⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
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⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
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SORRY THAT I'M SPAMMING STUPID SKETCHES WITH ALIENS' FAMELE I had to show their relationship
Fun fact #2: Gax's mother worked in the government in some cool high position and didn't really saw her son - his father was a householder and inflated the family hearth out of nothingᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ
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wutheringmights · 8 months
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Hey out of curiosity, I know most of the main cast in CTB is pulled from either Legend of Zelda game canons (Princess Zelda, Lana, Ganondorf in name, etc) or Linked Universe, but out of your original characters (especially Kat, Marigold, and the various Knights of Hyrule), did u give any of them symbolic or referential names?
Oh boy do I got the fun post for you:
Lincoln is straight up my Linksona. Just think of him as another version of the character Link
Marigold is supposed to be the typical red-headed love interest for a Link-like character; even her name is meant to fit right in with characters like Malon, Marin, and Midna.
Warriors's last name was originally going to be Warton, but I changed it to Walton when I learned that it meant "noble."
Meemaw is a reference to the Bertolt Brecht character Mother Courage (from his play Mother Courage and Her Children; I had just finished reading it for a seminar class when CTB first came to me). The characters even share a first name: Anna
Similarly, Kat is based off of Mother Courage's daughter, Kattrin; a famously silent-due-to-truama character
Kat's siblings also share names and fates with Mother Courage's sons: Eli is Eilif, and Cheddar is Swiss Cheese (yes, that's his real name)
Orlanda was named for Virginia Woolf's famous character Orlando; originally, I was going to have Orlanda be nonbinary, but changed my mind when I realized it wouldn't be a good idea to make your sacrificial character your nonbinary representation.
Shigeo's name was originally just going to be Shig, as a reference to Shigeru Miyamoto, but I changed it when I started to rewatch Mob Psycho 100. Shigeo is meant to be a homage to a common original character type I kept reading in Warriors-centric fics: the young Sheikah guy for Warriors to have a romance with. However, Shigeo was never envisioned with a romantic relationship in mind. He was always meant to be this cool, older guy type. However, I did almost have Warriors have a crush on him, then deleted that concept for space.
Gaudin was named after a French criminal for no reason. Genuinely, I just liked the name.
Anders was originally going to be named Betolt in honor of Brecht, but that felt heavy handed.
Jakucho is just meant to be the old woman version of the general Impa character to match the badass young woman version that is actually in Hyrule Warriors. Her name means "silent, lonely listening." I liked how it related to her role as Warriors's mentor/therapist.
Impa's real name, Chiyo, means "thousand generations, thousand worlds." I like how it related to the idea that she's always wanted to assume the same role as her ancestors.
I originally picked their surname Miyashita because the site I was on said it translated to something like "temple below the earth," which would reference the Kakariko Well. Checking now, it actually means "(one who lives) below the shrine," which makes way more sense in retrospect.
Ayane has no special name meaning, but her character... you do realize she's just Mask, right?
General Whitestone's name came from me asking myself what would a highly suspicious white guy in charge be called?
The name Nephus translates to "a God's son who will also become a God." Do I mean that literally? Who knows. At the very least, I wanted a snappy, but impressive-sounding name.
Vasileios means "royal or kingly". His middle name, Orionides, implies that he's the son of a great hunter.
Icarius's name is meant to be reminiscent to that of Icaurs, the famous mythological figure.
Philo means "lover or friend." A very cute name for a not-so-cute boy.
You probably have realized that the House of Nephus characters are heavily Greek/Roman coded. Originally, they were going to be Russian coded, but then the line about Faovaria being unable to attack some other kingdom due to their harsh winters would have fallen into question.
Faovaria's symbol being an octopus is a reference to how the octopuses symbolized immortality in ancient Greece.
Both of those were super off-topic. Sorry lol
I'll end with a fun fact you shouldn't look too deep into: the empire name Faovaria is derived from Farore. This was due to a concept I changed my mind about. Genuinely, it's not relevant anymore. Do not incorporate it into your theories, or something.
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I have created a creature! A guy if you will.
Knit from this pattern (rav link) with some slight modifications.
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rawliverandgoronspice · 4 months
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btw sorry I'm no longer doing regular thralls previews, but it's just that I decided to focus on speed to get a first draft first, so most of the work I manage to cram after midnight looks like the following 😭😭
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cowboyskeletons · 9 days
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thinking about my au where after the trial the dads are actually just transported into another universe where jodie was transplanted and they replaced their alt-universe selves.
so there are small details that the kids notice (except for nicholas) that are kinda... off, but it's not big enough of a shift to notice until reminiscing about childhood memories and like it doesn't matter (it does matter but that's only half of the story)
point is that without them, their home universe kinda crumbles, as the narrative is about Them and why even exist if there's no purpose? so everyone kinda just fades away over a short span of time (thinking around a week) as the world loses its flavor.
....buuuut nick's still there.
because the dads are The Dads, right. it's their defining characteristic. they need to have children to be dads (if the child is dead it doesn't matter, just needs to exist in the universe). the children are... kind of like anchors.
so if their children stopped existing, what then? well, it was a simple solution-- they got linked to the new verse kids. done done. new anchor, continued existence, "forever" relevance, hoorah.
only problem is that glenn doesn't have a kid. and he's not a dad anymore. so like, what's the point of his being there? nicholas is technically completely unrelated to him. in the new verse, it's said that he's darryl's friend who's just. there. in-auniverse and in a more meta concept sense, he really shouldn't have been there.
(eventually, glenn won't need an anchor anymore because of the relationship he develops with nicky but for now he needs a weight to assert his existence in the narrative)
erasing him from existence kind of goes against the court ruling because then why all the shenanigans. so he still has an anchor, though the new universe is unaware of it
so nick is still there.
nick is... not fully what he used to be. he seems overall the same, but he's in a sort of... stasis? like the most obvious effect is not aging but there are mental effects too. his and glenn's relationship and place in the world can't really change, so he doesn't.
he's like an ice sculpture now metaphorically-- fading like the rest of the world, but his process is slower because he's connected to glenn and he's still important to the story. he has approximately until the s1 finale until he starts getting into the danger zone. the worlds aren't exactly synced up time-wise, but time shifts and flows and the universes drift so there's never a concrete ratio-- usually worlds sync by story beat but. yea
so he's just wandering the world as it breaks apart. he's the only reason that it's still there, actually-- it becomes weaker as he does, as it loses its purpose completely.
by some chance, nicholas manages to contact nick then Stuff Happens.
cue shenanigans, primarily with nicholas and nick but several other people come into play too like glenn and jodie and morgan
(yes nick still dies in the end but there is Closure with the family okay. can't spell closure without close. do you get it)
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tardis--dreams · 3 months
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You know what? I give up on this paper once and for all. I'm not even ashamed anymore
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the-crow-binary · 8 months
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The love people show for the pink-haired BDSM vampire lady is proof that Isaac could’ve gotten fans who love him with his og design. Or maybe the world is still too homophobic for that.
Literally enrages me. And I'm someone who discovered Isaac first on NFCV and went "ew he's ugly wtf" when I first saw how he looked in the games. It didn't take me too long to actually take a liking to the design and realize how much more compelling it was thant N!Isaac though :) (no one would be shitting on G!Isaac as much as they are now if there wasn't N!Isaac to compare him to. there would still be people, but less)
I mean at least Isaac's design have a sense. There is meaning behind his tattoos, his half-covered face, his clothes (and the lack thereof) all up to his sharp nails. N!Isaac has nothing, even his Devil Forgemaster UNIFORM is a downgrade and lose the sense it was supposed to have by not even having the Devil Forgemaster's crest on it to begin with. (I saw someone say that he looked "mysterious" because of his tattoos and no. No he doesn't. It's a few dots and two lines. It's the laziest tattoos, G!Isaac has the Devil Forgemaster crest embedded in his skin and his tattoos actually have forms and complexity you can try to interpret. what is there to interpret in N!Isaac's dots and lines?? MORSE CODE?? IT MEANS "MEIIIE" JUST SO YOU KNOW)
So it's already insulting that they changed his design because "bohoo he too slutty and BDSM-y he wouldn't fit" (even though you just had to give him clothes or smth), but it's even worse now that they literally took a HUMAN OLD LADY character (that could have been fun to have fight, to change from all the young-looking people) and turn her not only into a VAMPIRE, but a vampire with PINK HAIR, PINK EYES, AND A BDSM OUTFIT. And why? Because it's hot I guess. :) There's no other reason. I mean I'll give NFCV the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe they'll give an explanation in-universe as to why she is the way she is (just like it was explained in-universe what happened to Isaac to make him look and act the way he does. But no N!Isaac fans care about that since they couldn't keep shitting on G!Isaac otherwise). But yeah, I don't have much hope. NFCV was never smart enough to have characterization as deep and complex as the games could have. In the best way I could describe it... it's literally so american. It REEKS of america and it's culture and it's own view on things such as religion and gender and sex and politics. Friendly reminder that CV is originally a japanese franchise. So ofc the non-japanese creators had to force their own culture on it (consciously or not).
But honestly it looks borderline sexist to me. NFCV forced a male character to conform to the american standard of masculinity, and sexualized and slutiffied a female character that did not have any sexy trait before (since it wasn't the point of her character). And thus for no apparent reason. And people are literally applauding them... what the fuck.
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fuckyeahfightlock · 16 days
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Whumpril 2024
-13- Angry Tears
When Adam was a boy he’d thought of his father as fully grown and having lived his whole life. In his youth--and in his grief—Adam couldn’t begin to conceive the real, long span of a life, how much more was left after having grown up. When he became the age his dad was when he'd died, he began to understand just how much future lay ahead for a man in his thirties. Being ten years older than his dad had been made Adam furious, because that age was still young, with so much lonely future left to live.
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criscura · 3 months
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I wish I wasn't so exhausted and I could make more art.... I even planned out a whole prompt-a-day month for Saigenos/Genosai, TWICE, but the first time no one seemed like they could participate when I asked about it, and the second time I friggin lost the damned plan. I could remake it a third time, but I just....I don't know.
I've been really struggling to get along for a while, and I think if it didn't hit it off--or even if I just got really productive and it seemed like I was reaching crickets--I'd be so incredibly discouraged that it would bring me down even further. It usually takes my stuff a few months to a year to get reach, and that really doesn't do anything for me when I need the support immediately.
It's not that I don't have a billion ideas for so many different things, but my battery has been taking longer and longer to charge up and it's been running out faster and faster, and it's been like this for....a year?? Ish?? Maybe longer, I don't know.
I wish I could just stop needing so much fucking time to bounce back.....
#written from my bed as I'm almost crying from exhaustion and hopelessness#I'm PMSing and I had a really tiring day so i know this feels worse than normal#but when you've been struggling to fall asleep for months because waking up means being disappointed in yourself#for everything you failed to do the day before and everything you know you're going to fail to do again today#it's really hard not to feel like shit about yourself#trying to be constantly hopeful but never living up to your expectations#and then the few times that you do you completely crash for days#and then the only way to not crash is to have your big accomplishment be 'i went to the gym' 'i took a shower' 'i answered a message'#and just. again#to have the be the way you're living for months and months and months#it's so embarrassing to admit how little i can do and it makes me so ashamed knowing how much I've done and see what everyone else around me#is constantly doing#and then when i do share things it just kind of dies off because I've been too exhausted to maintain most relationships#which ALSO makes me feel like absolute fucking shit because i think people think i just don't care about them#when it's really that it takes me hours to get out of bed and I'm lucky if i remember to eat before 4#and I hate so much of myself and see it as such a huge waste of time that it uses up almost all the energy i have to take care of myself#but if i don't do it I'll just hate myself even more#i know i keep on complaining about this but I'm. I'm trying to fix it#i have BEEN trying to fix it actively for so fucking long#but it's.....i think I've stopped believing anything i do has significant worth and it makes it hard to keep trying#and i know people will read this and say take something for it but when you're only interactions with medications and drugs#are one experience that scarred you so bad you didn't go to the doctors for ten years and one experience so bad#that you couldn't even explain it at first without HARDCORE disassociating#it's hard to convince yourself that anything will ever be any better and that it won't make everything intensely worse for years
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c-hrona · 9 months
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Yoooooo!
I'm working on another lil project and I'm curious of your opinions. The following question is not going to change things fundamentally, as it would be a reaaaaally small thing, but it made me think and now I wanna hear your thoughts on the matter.
So, in your opinion, if Vash's flowers are Geraniums, as a symbol of kindness and determination,
I searched the meaning on different sites, but Wikipedia still felt like the most reliable one, anyway feel free to correct me or add other meanings!!
Reblog are appreciated so more people can find this poll!!
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c4nonball · 1 year
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The internal voyeur all women have that shapes every decision we make and every sentence we say and every hand movement and ear tuck and our gait and mannerisms and speech and thoughts and feelings; The constant never-ending feeling of being on watch, constantly on display, on a podium, performing for an audience. When you’re a woman there is always an audience. Even when you don’t cater in the big ways, there is still that little man in your head telling you you must be more, more, more attractive, you can always be more attractive, you should always be attractive, you must always be seen as attractive.
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warrior-of-sunlight · 4 months
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I just fucking love it when someone has dogs that are too strong for them and one of them is dog aggressive and not wearing a muzzle. Just love it. And don't get angry when I need to physically kick your dog away after it bit both me and my dog, be happy my almost 40 kilo dog listened to me and did not bite back. Fucking hell.
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adore-gregor · 2 months
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ugh
#altough it got better in a way my self confidence is still so bad :(#some days it's worse than others it changes with my mood or idk#just lately i have been feeling kinda down about myself#i just have never been this naturally confident person and i feel like i'm not enough or not doing enough a lot at times :/#when i was younger it was even worse and i thought of myself that no guy would ever like me bc i'm so not good looking#obviously that was not true and guys do like me and i would not go that far anymore but often i look at myself and think average at best#even though that might not even be true and sometimes i like what i look like in a mirror but i think to myself just good lighting or sth#and so often when i see a bad picture of myself i feel so ashamed like i'd just wish i looked differently#and when guys tell me i'm pretty or also other people i find it so difficult to believe that like i don't see that in myself#but it does not make a sense i know others don't think of me like that also guys i think of as a attractive but i don't see myself like that#but it's not just that i often also feel doubtful i will ever achieve much#i always think i should be finished with uni already or have better grades#and mostly that i'm not smart enough in general#but my grades are not even bad and i'm not failing any classes#like i just got another a in that class (i'm actually really happy about that one) but then i think okay but some people have all a's#like i could do better i could study harder#unfortunately i'm a master of procrastination as well 😅 and quite good at lol#what i mean is that i manage to study very little compared to others and still get good grades - sounds good but keeps me lazy 😅#and i also think when i achieve a good grade often that i don't deserve it that much because i could have studied more#and that i just got lucky which is not very rational i know 😅#or once i actually just passed an exam (i studied the night before) and i though yeah the teacher just felt sorry for me and let me pass#realistically i don't think it was like that#and at uni i studied for big exams which were feared by students for 2 days and got a b#which should indicate i'm somewhat smart but i think i just know the right study techniques and got lucky again#altough i do know good study techniques i think :))#buuut sometimes i do things which are so dumb like i do have these moments my mind is going like blank#and it's not difficult things even#like in football we did this exercise of a series of passes and everyone got it but me until a few tries like how is this harder#i'm just kind of bad at envisioning like this series 3 dimensionally in my mind idk i usually get it once i do it and remember the movement#what it feels like
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