#because it gets rid of their unique and equal dynamic

[butwhatifidothis]

Me: Man, even if I prefer other ships, I can at least appreciate Claude///leth for finally having a lord/leth ship have the two be on equal standing with each other growth wise, where the two actually show off traits to the other that signify them as nice stand-alone characters that also happen to grow with each other quite well. It’d be a shame if any spinoff media were to completely fuck with the one thing I like about this ship-

Hopes: *heavily implies, if not outright state, that Claude only has any semblance of curiosity, morals, or trust if and only if he is in the general presence of Byleth and that he’d be literal garbage without them giving him good traits through osmosis*

Me: 

Me: well that’s unfortunate

[bitterpngs]

power swap

mmm some general thoughts under the cut.

idk if i’ll ever develop this more bc their canon powers shape so so much of who they are but:

satoru - curse manipulation

still not sure where i want to take this. maybe he’s also from a non-sorcerer family..

hates the taste of curses and tends to whine about it. likes to eat sweets afterwards to get rid of the taste

suguru - rct user and healer

debating on having him be from a non-sorcerer family. was thinking:

he’s still very righteous and sees using his powers as his duty. a duty to help and aid sorcerers how he can through healing and dealing with corpses.

eventually, after seeing the constant deaths of his fellow sorcerers (and the toll it takes on his classmates), it begins to greatly affect him.

i think there’s a little irony in suguru being proficient in rct here :P

shoko - i cant remember much about the gojo clan, but i think it’d be interesting to have shoko, a woman, be the one with satoru’s canon powers. the one that shifts the balance of the world and all.

doesn’t care for rules and breaks them as she wishes, maybe (especially?) because of her childhood?

smokes as a form of rebellion, then, later, to cope

the dynamics would also shift to some important degree.

in canon, suguru and satoru are a pair and are equals. they can keep up with one another, they fight curses together, understand one another, etc. suguru and satoru won’t have that here (well, not like canon or a diff kind of power swap). satoru and shoko will be the ones that are equals in that sense, and will be able to relate to one another in a way geto won’t

similarly, geto will have an experience unique to him. one satoru and shoko can’t relate to as much. if/when he still spirals, that difference will cause even more feelings of a rift between his peer(s)

idk, just some thoughts

[megashadowdragon]

Thematically, Lu Bu would've been a better opponent for Beelzebub than Tesla

www . reddit . com/r/ShuumatsuNoValkyrie/comments/1ed3p9p/thematically_lu_bu_wouldve_been_a_better_opponent/

Seriously they are so similar it's not even funny

-Both were born cursed and nobody wanted to associate with them because of it, save for 2 guys (Lu Shang, Lucifer, and the other 2 bozos from Beelzebub backstory but let's be honest Lucifer is the one that matters)

-Those that did associate with them, ended up dying (in the same pose and place mind you) due to the already mentioned curse, which led both Lu Bu and Beelzebub to the path of their lives (Finding a friend and revenge against Satan)

-In the middle of their lonely quest, they find an ally (Dung Zhou and Lilith) and while they are both reluctant at first to associate with them they both agree to after they offer help in their quests and, with time, they form a bond which ends their lonely lives

-...or at least it should have, because at that moment both finally learn the painful truth (There was never a worthy opponent for Lu Bu on earth and Beelzebub is Satan) after killing their partners (in the same way, mind you)

-This leads both of them to fall into despair and search for death, which would finally fulfill their goal (Lu Bu can now find a strong opponent in heaven and Beelzebub would get "revenge" on the one that killed his friends)

And this is just their lives stories, in terms of fighting dynamic.

-Beelzebub wants to die a horrifying and brutal death and Lu Bu is the perfect opponent for that since he is the most brutal and barbaric Human while Beelzebub is certainly strong enough to be recognized by Lu Bu as his worthy opponent

-Beelzebub is said to have the strongest Spear and the strongest Shield, Sky Piercer is also said to be the strongest spear and it has the Shield Breaking ability

Honestly if it wasn't for all the lighthing moments on the Lu Bu spin off I would say Beelzebub is better than Thor for Lu Bu aswell

reddit comments

Even Lu Bu's spear is a perfect counter to Beelzebub's vibration shield due to its ability to break defenses!

Not exactly, one was cursed with immense strength that everyone feared and revered at the same time creating enemies and allied all around him. That guy is looking for an equal match. The other was cursed of being host to a sinister entity that kills all who as much as stand close to him. He was finding a means to die or find ways to rid of his curse. One sees his strength as boredom and the other sees his curse as a burden. Theyre different.

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u/The_Mexican_Poster avatar The_Mexican_Poster OP • 5d ago Jesus The point is not that they have the same curse, the point is that their respective curses led them to have a lonely life

Lu Bu's strength is a burden in its way, while Beelzebub can't love anyone without them dying, Lu Bu can't love anyone at all because nobody understands him "I have no interest in weak people, and everyone in this world is weak but me"

What is supposedly the link between Tesla and Beelzebub?

That they are both scientists? That is not reflected in any way during the fight.

That one is optimistic and the other is pessimistic? It's not something unique to these two.

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u/casualredditor43 avatar casualredditor43 • 5d ago Garlic Tesla Science to destroy vs science to further and create.

Never ending despair vs never ending hope.

Also,

That they are both scientists? Thats not reflected in any way.

No, non, nein! They had civil discussion about each others technology!

Not unique.

Nah, not many are pessimistic. "Oh but R4" jack was taking clear joy in it and heracles eventually also loved him.

R8 AGENDA WILL NEVER CEEEEEAAAAAAASE!

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Destruction vs creation ?

Consumed by the past vs projecting toward the future ?

[popstart]

i really hate how much Mk got the accessorizing treatment. It's like the worst thing fandoms do when they boil down a character only to the relationship they have with another character (ESPECIALLY female characters being boiled down to their relationships), but It's not even a fandom thing because that's quite literally just what happened to Mk in the show. She was just turned into a dog in a purse for Julia to carry around then unceremoniously drop for no apparent reason and barely talk about again. They treat each other as equals but the show so heavily favoritizes Julia It's actually laughable that their dynamic is supposed to be seen as equal.

There's only a few times Mk does something on her own or leads Julia in something and It's only really done when Julia prompts it. Even in season 1 where they did not like each other, Mk is still just a catalyst for Julia in literally every single way. It's infuriating because Mk is a character type we've never really had in the show before which makes her by default more interesting, but she never is able to actually be a character. I imagine her status as a unique character is her downfall. the writers just didn't know how to use her so they just didn't

and I'm not even saying Julia and heather are the exact same character. they're not. they're different. But it would be like if Alejandro's sole purpose and motivation in life was to be with heather. or to be just a male heather. Sure a lot of his character is tied with heather, but they compliment each other. Alejandro has his own ideas he executes far removed from anything heather does. He doesn't let heather just boss him around without a fight. he doesn't follow literally everything heather does just bc he likes her. he has agency outside of her

Conversely, every single aspect of Mk is tied to Julia in some way. In season 1 she uses JULIAS phone to find the secret confessionals which she uses to rat out JULIA to the other players so JULIA will get eliminated but in the end JULIA eliminates her.

In season 2 they IMMEDIATELY team up despite their previous feuding.(tangent but this has always been wildly ooc to me. Julia and Mk are the type to both hold grudges. Julias a massive dick all the time because literally everyone is annoying to her and Mk was so pissed at Julia in s1 for calling her some dumbass childish insult that she wanted to get rid of her for that reason alone. these girls are PETTTYYY.) After resolving literally 0 of their issues with each other, Julia all of a sudden just gets to boss around Mk into doing everything for or with her even though Mk is far from the type to give in to what people want her to do or think of her. but whatever. they're just bffsies now and Mk has 0 bite because It's Julia and her whole life is just Julia

It's just so awful how Mk is treated especially in comparison to the white girl that's constantly parading her around. Sure it can work sometimes. I'm not saying that none of what happened in the show should have happened, I'm just saying the lack of balance is staggering. Mk is treated like a henchman to Julia instead of them being equals in cahoots with the same goal. Mk is so far removed from being her own character or being unique and s2 suffers so damn bad for it.

Sure, some characters are codependent (Katie and Sadie) but Mk and Julia are not Katie and Sadie lol. It's not a fair comparison. I feel like even Wayne and Raj were less codependent on each other from a narrative perspective. They have a lot of screen time together and they make a lot of decisions together, but I'd more say they come up with the same ideas separately then high five each other about having the same idea bc that's just how they are. neither of them boss each other around all the goddamn time, and there's no favoritism from the writers on who comes up with what and who does what to deviate from being a pair. they're a pair and they work together a lot, but they're distinct characters. Mk is always just Mk and Julia. Julia can just be Julia but Mk has to be Mk and Julia

[k-s-morgan]

You once said, one of your all time, favourite character, is Ciel Phantomhive. How do you think his life would have gone, if his parents weren't killed and he wasn't kidnapped. Do you think he would be happy, marrying Lizzy etc? How much do you think Sebastian impacted/moulded him. If there was no Sebastian, do you think he would, have a completely different personality? I always find your character analyses, very interesting. Thank you, I hope you have a good day or night.

Thank you very much! <3 And sorry for such a belated reply. 

As always, I limit this answer to the anime since I know it best. While it seems to portray Ciel as strictly naive and light before the contract, I don’t share this view, and it’s a good thing that there is space for all possible headcanons. I’m not a fan of thinking the captivity and trauma gave him a total personality switch. I think there was always some darkness and cruelty in him; he was always manipulative and calculating, though obviously, in pretty childish ways. 

If Ciel and Sebastian never met, I think Ciel would still thrive in the underworld. His father would have to pass the reins to him at some point, and Ciel would become pretty ruthless and intimidating, although his taste for darkness would never be colored with the personal desire for vengeance. I imagine him being more carefree, happier, less restricted and rigid, maybe a little less smart because canon Ciel feels a strong need to keep up with Sebastian and pushes himself above and beyond his limits. Still, he’d be impressive, a force to be reckoned with. He’d enjoy getting rid of his enemies, scheming and playing games, expanding his reach and intimidating the entire underworld.

I do think he’d marry Lizzy, although I doubt their dynamic would change. Ciel would be a distant husband who sometimes indulges his wife while Lizzy would be progressively unhappy. She deserved a much better match. 

I think Sebastian would feel equally drawn to this version of Ciel. There is something unique and special in him that I think was always a part of him: he can be sadistic and he can delight in darkness, but he also has his sense of justice. Whenever they met, Ciel and Sebastian would be captivated and pulled into their deadly relationship one way or another.

[onewomancitadel]

I also heard recently that apparently Reylos made up all of their harrassment as a cover for their racism in not shipping Finn/Rey, and to be perfectly honest with you I think racism is not a fandom-specific issue but kind of a social issue where you aren't insulated from it based on what you do or don't ship? And shipping isn't political activism? I wouldn't be granted rhetorical immunity if I did, in fact, ship Finn/Rey, because I could equally be responsible for perpetuating racism in writing their dynamic (and in addition to that, romantic relationships are not free of sexism or racism; how does this immunity hold coherently at all?) and in fact, I don't like Finn/Rey because I don't like enjoy how it services their characters. If Boyega were cast as the main villain we'd be having a different conversation.

If you wanted to reckon specifically with the ST's racism, we can start with TFA where TFA refuses to expand upon Finn's psychological evolution and turns him into a sanitation worker as a fucking dramatic punchline at the end of the film, or is unceremoniously knocked out by Kylo so he can't do anything narratively? Or just being there for bathos-esque quips? No matter what you say about TLJ, Finn's epic confrontation with Phasma and the potential of a Stormtrooper rebellion is there, and instead in TROS it's turned into... some people are just born right and others deserve to be Stormtroopers. *shrug*

That is not a fucking Reylo problem. That is, in the first place, teasing Finn as the 'main' character and then doing a reversal with Rey, and choosing to focus a new Star Wars series on the Skywalkers again. A Black Jedi with his own original story not contingent upon white legacy characters could've worked but by design it was not made so, and then they erased his character from Chinese marketing anyway. That should tell you were D/isney's priorities lie. If they actually had any gumption that is what they would've done following the ST to mop up what they did with Finn and actually got onboard original storytellers who were not looking to rehash nostalgiabait.

I'm particularly sore about this because I don't enjoy the implication that racism is a fandom-specific issue or that fandom is where the conversation starts and ends, or not that on some level these commercial productions with millions of dollars behind them influence the conversation. Or that there is a competition of socially-minded interests. Or that if we got rid of the Bad Shipping fandoms we would only have the Good Ones left with no problems forever. That's not how it works.

But inventing harrassment is an interesting accusation. We're just outright accusing each other of making up our experiences now? We're allowed to do that? I've never been 'in' the mainstream Reylo fandom enough and if there were evidence of Reylos behaving badly or, in the case of this context, being racist, I'd take it seriously as much as I can and challenge it, but I'm not sure what other authority I do have in intercommunity politics. Fandom doesn't work like that. There is only so much you can do. But accusing us of making up our experiences when I know that I personally keep to myself because of it is a new one.

I don't want to tell you the things I've seen or experienced myself in the Reylo fandom. Sure, the ceaseless crossfandom stuff is bullshit, but anti-Reylos are probably people I wouldn't get along with anyway and people can draw boundaries as they see fit. There are a bunch of ships and fandoms I don't want much to do with. I don't even think that anti-Reylos themselves are uniquely -ist in whatever given way; they probably just enjoy the opportunity to be sexist or racist or anti-Semitic against someone they think deserves it (and it always comes out when the opponent is sufficiently Of the Wrong Sort).

I think it is extremely dangerous to treat activism as a performative endeavour where I ship the right ships and interact with the text in the way I have been mandated to. Because it doesn't actually insulate me from racist behaviour or beliefs. I think it is true that there are times this notably happens, but equally, is shipping Finn/Poe alongside Rey/Kylo a way to mitigate this? How do we square it out?

I think this conversation with Reylo is probably over. Reylo's online legacy is always going to be mixed at best. But I don't think the anti-racist conversation begins or ends with it.

[bellenthigale]

TEENFRESH

Bubbles have been enjoyed by people of all ages for centuries. They are simple‚ fun‚ and can even be therapeutic. But why are bubbles so beloved? What are the good things they can do for people? Studies have shown that the simple act of blowing bubbles helps to relax people and reduces cortisol levels in the body‚ which is the hormone associated with stress. Bubbles can also be a great way to spend quality time with family and friends. Blowing bubbles is a fun activity that encourages people to talk and laugh with each other‚ creating memories that will last a lifetime. Additionally‚ bubbles can bring joy and happiness. Bubbles can also bring a sense of joy and relaxation. When you’re blowing bubbles‚ you’re taking a few moments to focus on something other than your worries. It’s a great way to get rid of stress and to just enjoy the moment. Bubbles are more than just fun and games. They can be therapeutic‚ a great way to spend time with loved ones‚ and a source of joy and happiness. Bubbles are a classic source of fun for all ages. Kids and adults alike have been fascinated by bubbles’ ability to float and shimmer in the air. It’s the unpredictability of the bubbles that make them so much fun. You never know where they’re going to go or how long they’ll stay in the air. The bright colors and shapes of the bubbles make them captivating to watch. This creates a strong bond between everyone and creates a unique atmosphere of fun and joy. Bubbles are a great way to have fun and relax. The unpredictability of the bubbles‚ the sense of joy and relaxation they bring‚ and the social aspect of playing with them make them a classic source of fun for everyone.

Are you ready for Bubble Arcade‚ SWITHs? With the publication of my trailer film and photo the other night‚ I made a splash in the music industry. After months of anticipation‚ we finally unveiled what SWITHs have been waiting for‚ and it looks like we are ready to take over by storm! A familiar color scheme of white and blue appears at the beginning of the video. Giving us a preview of what our upcoming song might sound like‚ I am being enthralling and dynamic. I apologize if I can’t stop myself from complementing the photo that goes with the trailer film because it is equally intriguing. Just look at how lovely did the shot come out. I am seen posing for the picture in a range of fashionable and edgy look‚ and the picture has a really contemporary and smart vibe to it. In the picture‚ you can see how charming I am‚ and you can also even tell that we’re about to advance our music. We have formally begun our comeback campaign with the ongoing publication of the trailer film and image of every members. The anticipation for what else we have in store for SWITHs is growing‚ and we can only imagine how delighted we will be when our new song and album are released in a few days. We are now ready to make a big splash in the K-pop industry‚ and I’m sure you guys can’t also wait to hear what we have in store for you!

Prepare to move to the music‚ SWITHs! Our third mini album‚ “TeenFresh”‚ which will be released on August 16‚ will mark our return. Since then‚ thanks to our energetic music and catchy lyrics‚ we’ve been gaining fame among some K-pop lovers. With our most recent comeback on August 16th‚ we’ll definitely make an impact. We are certain to win the hearts of K-pop lovers all around the world with our upcoming infectious music‚ bright visuals‚ and engaging dance movements. In order to join us on a musical voyage on August 16th‚ note that date on your calendars‚ SWITHs. This is the time of year when SWITHs eagerly anticipate our comeback thid month. The message of “TeenFresh” is undoubtedly that you should never stop being young and to always have an optimistic outlook on life. We have already shown ourselves to be a talented group‚ and with each and every one of us‚ we will undoubtedly wow even more. SWITHs are undoubtedly interested and anticipated about what “TeenFresh” will bring them.

[retvenkos]

Grishaverse Deep Dive: The Darkling is a Character that lives in a Society.

((spoilers for ALL of the grishaverse))

Ah, yes, Shadow and Bone season 2 is gearing up, the birds are singing, I have a cup of earl grey tea before me -  it is finally time to sit down to talk about the Darkling, and explain his tenuous relationship with the Grishaverse.

The Darkling is a character greatly contested. When simply looking at his motivations, we see a rift in the fandom. Add in his backstory and it fractures even more. When you pepper in the third ingredient of his relationship with Alina, you get an entire war. The Darkling is a divisive character. He gets under our skin and lingers for days afterwards.

I am going to take you on a deep dive of the Darklings character, and try to tease apart the problems that lie within the creation of his character. Why were so many fans betrayed by his ending? How did he muddle the messages of Shadow and Bone, and why is his ending so complicated that it satisfies very few? Today, we’re going to look at The Problem of the Darking: An Essay in Six Parts.

A little history lesson;

So first, allow me to take you back in time, to 2012, when Shadow and Bone was first released.

Two years prior, The Hunger Games Trilogy had finished coming out and, in a rather stunning turn of events, shifted the popular Y.A. category from the genre of the paranormal romance (thank you, Stephanie Meyer) to the dystopian society. 

Now, this is not to say that there weren’t dystopian stories prior to The Hunger Games, or that there weren’t paranormal romances in the Y.A. genre afterward. Both have survived, but the boom of dystopian stories and the whimper of paranormal romance was definitely felt.

So 2012 hits. In comes Shadow and Bone, in a time where we have some interesting precedents that our Y.A. forefathers created: 

Firstly, let’s talk about themes.

Carried over from both genres, is this idea of duality. There is light and there is dark, and whether or not there is a middle ground is up to the author. As the Y.A. target audience is quite large, there’s a lot to be said for how nuanced this idea can be. In many stories, it’s a nail on the head. In others, the lines are a little more blurred. In most stories, you get some semblance of Good = Light, Bad = Shadow. In the end, the ultimate goal is to embrace one or the other. At the end of the series, we’re either in the midday sun or the midnight darkness. The peak of the story leaves very little middle ground.

Then, brought over from the dystopian genre, we have the idea that The Current Regime is Bad for insidious reasons, and it needs to be torn down and built anew. This is often the main focus of dystopian stories, and our main characters are revolutionaries that see the world in a new, free light.

Finally, a trap of the Y.A. category is it’s simplistic idea of good and bad. Again, we hark back to the vast target age range, and you can see why this would be so prevalent. There is very little by way of morally grey, in the Y.A. category, and if there is moral greyness, it almost always falls into two categories: (1) it is held by the main character alone, and that is why we root for them, or (2) it is martyred and killed. Moral greyness is either the Ushering of a New Era, or The Ideal that Could Not Be. If greyness is to survive, it must exist in the main character who, readers hope, will usher in a new dawn of peace (and light moral greyness) either through their small acts of love (the angel loving the demon) or in large displays of change (the morally grey character rising to be ruler).

These are all themes we expect to be present in Shadow and Bone. And for the most part, they are!

But now let’s talk about character tropes.

Carried over from the paranormal romance, we have the introduction of the “Othered” love interest. This character has a condition that sets him apart from others, and (whether it be vampire, demon, werewolf, etc.) is so prevalent that he cannot fit in. And because of his differences, he has been shunned by Society. This character, notably, is not the “light” or “pure” paranormal figure - he is not the angel - but rather, the demon. The angel would be able to slip into society (presumably because his goodness grants him some kind of godly camouflage). The demon cannot. He doesn’t fit in, and he never can. This creates tension in him, and so he shuns others just as hard as they shun him - he has done so for a very long time until he meets our main character, who gets close to him and breaks down his walls. This character is often the eventual love interest, for reasons that will become apparent later. 

Sometimes carried over from the paranormal romance is the idea that the main character is secretly an “other in hiding” (an angel without her wings, etc.). This creates a bond between the “Othered” love interest and the main character - a bond that can’t be deteriorated once it’s been made, because the main character can’t be un-Othered. They can’t take back the forbidden knowledge they’ve obtained. If this character pops up, the “Othered” love interest is almost always chosen, if he exists.

The dystopian genre has a branching version of this trope, as there is almost always a healthy amount of othering. The main character usually comes from a group of people that is Othered from Society, but our main character is even more unique/different from their “Othered group.” This ���specially Othered” character is superpowered in that they can navigate both “Othered” Society and “normal” Society. They can be the go-between.

Sometimes found in the paranormal romance is the “normal” or stereotypical character. This is the average human - the character that doesn’t understand the “Othered” love interest, and wants the main character to go back to the way things were before. This character can sometimes make up the other leg of the love triangle and become a love interest. Other times, it’s a family member or a friend or even an abstract ideal. The point of this character, however, is to show the main character that they can’t go back to the way things were. Too much has happened. Too much has been discovered.

All of this is to say that when Shadow and Bone came out, audiences had expectations with long standing. It is safe and fair to say that the Darkling was set up as a character to be viewed in a certain light, and then the rug was pulled out beneath fans, who had already invested so much in his character.

Shadow and Bone: The characters that Don’t Fit;

So now let’s look at Shadow and Bone in the scope of history and audience expectation. Let’s look at the characters as well as the Grishaverse, in broad terms.

The Darkling is, in the first half of Shadow and Bone, the stereotypical “Othered” love interest. He can summon shadows, which is remarkably different from the other powers of Grisha, and his “forefathers” have done terrible things with this power, making him not only an other in talent but an other in animosity and fear.

In comes Alina, and she is a perfect fit for the main character being an “other in hiding” as well as a “specially Othered” character. She was otkazat’sya before she realized she was Grisha, and she is seen as the go-between for these two different worlds - she can bring them together. Furthermore, she is stronger than your average Grisha - distinct from all others, excepting the Darkling.

Alina is understood by the Darkling. She is discovering parts of herself that she didn’t know she had. This is all decidedly Good, and the romance that is forming is living up to reader expectation.

We also have an interesting occurence of duality. Alina, with her light, is the equal and opposite to the Darkling and his shadow. Together, they have limitless power, a common goal, and perhaps a purifying dynamic as Alina can “save” the Darkling. Her light can banish his shadows. 

History is leading us to believe they are the endgame ship.

This is only inculcated when you have Mal, who is the “normal” character. Through the framing of the story (not seeing Mal, holding on to him only causing Alina to not reach her full potential), we see that the love story with Mal is the Romance That Cannot Be. They are fated to be apart due to the tropes that readers know and understand.

But then the second half of the book kicks in, The Darkling is proven to have been manipulating Alina, things go South, and readers are left unaware of what’s coming next. In this moment, the theme of The Current Regime is Bad slaps readers across the face.

So let’s take a second to look at The Current Regime is Bad, because how the Darkling and his motives exist in that tempest is thought provoking, to say the least.

The Darkling is, decidedly, a part of The Current Regime. He is a general and close to the King, after all. He is a part of this life... and yet he is not. Remember that The Darkling is our “Othered” character. He cannot be a part of The Current Regime because he is shunned by it. And yet, he is tied to it like a prisoner. 

The reader thinks: is the Darkling bad? He is shown to be a part of Society. He wants the war to continue - he doesn’t want to tear down the Fold.

As the reader is grappling with this revelation, we are told (in the same book!) that the Darkling is actually not a part of The Current Regime (which is Bad), but rather, had been working against it. 

Okay.

So now the reader thinks that since Society is Bad, and the Darkling is against it, he and Alina do have a common goal, and his status as a love interest can be saved. He can be redeemed as a character because Alina can purify his methods, then together they can get rid of the current regime, and they can be Others together.

It’s a solid thought process. After all, the “Othered” characters have been consistently good at heart, and Alina can redeem him. We still have a bad guy to take down - and it’s not the Darkling.

But...

Leigh Bardugo decides that is not the story she wants to tell, and she has to pull out some literary gymnastics to give us an explanation. The idea is, no, the Darkling is Bad and his “Othered” status is not relevant because it doesn’t justify his actions. He is a part of a radical portion of The Current Regime and is just as Bad. 

Enter Nikolai Lantsov, who can take over The Current Regime, because as the reader is constantly reminded, Alina no longer wants novelty - she wants normalcy (which is represented by none other than Malyen Oretsev).

So, what does all of this mean? The Darkling decidedly Doesn’t Fit into any of the currently accepted (and expected) tropes of the Y.A. genre. This, on its own, is not inherently Bad or Wrong, but you can see how readers were thrown and consistently, ideas were stretched to fit the simplistic ideas of good and bad that run rampant through the Y.A. category.

The Darkling: What We Left Behind;

We have all heard the critique that the most frustrating thing about the Shadow and Bone Trilogy is how the treatment of Grisha is never fixed. It’s mentioned, but it’s never addressed.

To play the Devil’s Advocate, I am going to tell you all that this problem was never fixed because it was never part of Alina’s Narrative. As I will now attempt to point out, The Darkling is an ill suited antagonist for Alina’s story.

As I like to joke with my friends, the Darkling is an Adult Fantasy character inside of a Y.A. Fantasy story. He cannot be properly served because the story does not fit him, and it doesn’t really try.

Y.A. stories are incredibly focused. There is usually a lot going on in the wider story, but the reader is confined to one point of view and one narrative. This is why the main character is always leading rebellions and fighting in the thick of things. In order to address the problems of the wider narrative, the main character needs to be pretty front and center with the problems.

Alina is at the center of an inner conflict of power vs. normalcy. She is not at the center of the Grisha’s problems. 

Time and again, we see that Alina largely doesn’t care about how terribly Grisha are treated, as a whole. She has moments of clarity where she is angry (notably the scene in Ruin and Rising where the nations’ treatment of Grisha is described in detail), but her remorse doesn’t really extend past sympathy. In the end, she still does nothing to save Grisha.

Alina is a terrible hero when matched to the problems the Darkling is trying to solve. She doesn’t understand their full breadth, having not grown up with them, and she doesn’t want to fix them.

The Problem of The Darkling is that he is a character with problems and motivations that get shrinked and discarded because they do not fit into the Alina Narrative.

Alina’s story is about three things: (1) learning that a lust for power is bad and only corrupts; (2) tearing down the Fold, which is the representation of lusty power; and (3) returning to normalcy. (If you’re wondering why Mal is a rough™ character, it’s because he’s supposed to be the ideal of normalcy, that Alina both wants but can’t have as long as she seeks the amplifiers.) The Grisha don’t factor into that equation.

Alina doesn’t have a solution for giving the Grisha a safe existence where they won’t be sold into slavery, won’t be persecuted by the world, and won’t be forever Othered. She stumbles upon the vague promise of fixing the last of those problems when she runs into Nikolai (purely by chance, or, if you want to stretch it, The Darklings machinations). Furthermore, she doesn’t want to do any of that - she wants normalcy, remember? Her story isn’t going to be saving the Grisha - that’s not what it’s about.

The Darklings entire character motivations focus on all of the plot points that Alina doesn’t hit. He wan’t to make a safe existence for Grisha, he wants Grisha to no longer be persecuted and Othered. How is he going to do it? By ugly means, yes, but he’s going to achieve it nonetheless.

The Darkling has motivations that are not addressed in the Shadow and Bone Trilogy. They aren’t what the story is about, or what the story chooses to focus on. His story is a braided narrative that is too complicated for the simplistic, black and white story that the Shadow and Bone Trilogy is. 

So here’s the problem: the story insists the Darkling is the bad guy, but he can’t possibly be the bad guy if his intentions are Good, and there is no other way. Until Alina finds another way, he is a martyr - he is the Starless Saint. The Saint who was misguided, sure, but the only Saint who tried to solve things.

The Darkling is not fit for Shadow and Bone. His story and what he advocated for isn’t resolved by the end of the trilogy. So when he dies, it feels unearned. It’s tragic - and perhaps there is some beauty in that tragedy, or some lesson to be learned about how you cannot justify evil means for a good end - but it feels undeserved. His problems aren’t addressed. He is defeated, but his cause and his essence aren’t put to sleep.

King of Scars: A Cause Without Its Martyr;

Which leads us to the Nikolai duology.

Like I said - The Darklings’ problems are forgotten in Alina’s narrative. So what happens when we break out of that point of view? After a brief (and iconic) interim with the Crows, we are back in Ravka and the Grisha are still struggling with the problems that Shadow and Bone failed to address. Ravka is still dying, but now that we have gotten rid of a reluctant cast of characters and have made distance from the trope-heavy Shadow and Bone, we are better equipped to save her.

But here’s a question - can we ignore the man who pioneered these problems in favor of a more palatable cast? Can we not address the Darkling while picking up the sword he used?

Leigh Bardugo needs to reclaim the Grisha Problem by stealing it from the Darkling’s grasp. That proves to be difficult, given that we’ve killed him and have given him a tragically beautiful death. Absence has made the heart grow fonder, and in his final moments, the Darkling was not the evil Shadow Summoner but rather Alexander Morozova - the boy within. Readers (even those who didn’t like the Darkling) might be more endeared to him now that everything is said and done.

We need to separate the Darkling from his cause.

Enter the Cult of the Starless Saint and the Condemnation of the Starless.

To remind readers that the Darkling is bad, Leigh Bardugo does a few things. Firstly, she has her characters repeatedly condemn the Darkling. On one hand, it makes sense and feels genuine. On the other hand, it can be a little excessive. Sometimes, the vehemence reads like what it is - Leigh Bardugo is giving us reasons to hate the Darkling again. Add on the fact that Nikolai’s monster is Bad and one of few remnants of the Darkling still surviving, and you get a lot of hate.

Except, ah! The more we talk about the Darkling, the more we are reminded of what he stood for!

So we have to strip him of that - we have to take his legacy and drag it through the mud. Thus, we create The Cult of the Starless Saint. They represent the Darklings legacy and status in history - were his intentions Good Enough to grant him mercy? To give him Sainthood? 

Spoiler alert: They are not. Not as portrayed by the Cult of the Starless Saint.

The Cult is a laughing stock. They don’t have a stance of the Grisha, they’re worship of the Darkling is meant to be seen as mocking Alina’s sacrifice, and the main priest readers interact with is the receiving end of a slew of jokes. They don’t care about anything the Darkling cared for, and they don’t really want to help Grisha. This is done to muddy the waters - if the people who emulate the Darkling are selfish and without cause, well... the Darkling clearly wasn’t Good. They just think his shadow powers were cool and want him to be a Saint. They exist to slander the Darkling.

So now we have separated the Darkling from his cause, and the story continues. The Darkling is Bad. He doesn’t have a legacy. His cause is passed on to others.

But (because we’re Delta airlines and life is a f*cking nightmare) it doesn’t end there. We bring the Darkling back from the dead.

*long sigh*

Resurrection? The Curse of a Second Life;

I have wracked my brain for many an evening, trying to give reason as to why we brought the Darkling back. The obvious answer is for his role at the end of Rule of Wolves - we need him to hold the rift of the Making at the Heart of the World together. However, when Leigh Bardugo introduces real Saints, he’s not needed. Suddenly, we have a slew of characters who could do the same. Furthermore, part of why this rift exists is because the Darkling was brought back. If he is both the cause and the solution, the conflict didn’t need to be there in the first place - especially considering how inconsequential it was to the narrative.

If I had to pin a reason as to why we brought the Darkling back, it was simply to further push the Darkling from his original motivation. He comes back and... doesn’t do much. He doesn’t seem to have the same care for Grisha, he has watered down character traits, and he largely does nothing. The Darkling in the Nikolai Duology is Not The Darkling because he’s a shell of the character he used to be.

Bringing him back from the dead was unsatisfying, and it weakens his original ending. As I have mentioned in other posts, the Darkling coming back cheapens whatever meaning readers gleaned from his ending. The Darkling is resurrected and he doesn’t truly seem to care about anything - which is the direct opposite of what the Darkling has been shown to be.

The Darkling has been bastardized in any appearance he’s made after The Demon in the Wood, and ultimately, it leads to a rather anticlimactic end for such a distinctive, hallmark character.

But let’s really quick establish why the sacrifice the Darkling makes at the end of this book is unfulfilling.

Because, in the final moments of Rule of Wolves, the Darkling gets his moment of penance and sacrifice - he chooses to hold the rift. It’s said he will have to hold it for eternity. You would thing that this would leave an impact! 

However, as is, this ending leaves much to be desired for a few reasons:

The Darkling has been so far removed from his character, that when he states, “Everything I did, I did for Ravka,” it feels... incorrect? It sounds like the hollow, misguided claims of a tyrant king, because for an entire Duology, the Darkling has been bastardized and has been the cause of a blight that is killing Ravka. His presence is actively killing the country he claims to serve, and as for actions, he has done very little for Ravka, and nothing for the Grisha. The last time he did anything of substance was before Six of Crows!

None of the characters present for his sacrifice have any sympathy for the Darkling. The Darkling chooses to sacrifice himself, and we get no emotional closure. Alina isn’t there to whisper his name and mourn him, and while Zoya gets the glimmer of weak pity, we have much reason to believe that Zoya mostly feels disenchanted because he will be praised as a martyr and not hated as the evil man she knew him to be (more on that here). There isn’t sympathy so much as there is bitterness and the semblance of the remnants of tattered respect shining in the dim light.

The final chapter of Rule of Wolves tells us that it’s all going to be made inconsequential in the coming books, when they are going to replace the Darkling with something else. The Darkling won’t even get his full sacrifice, because he is undeserving of a redemptive act of selflessness.

So now, where do we leave the Darkling? For two books, we have separated him from his initial cause, watered down his character and motivations, and given him ends that are largely unsatisfying. 

We’ve actually started to fix the Grisha problem, and there’s something interesting to be said in that it’s fixed by Zoya Nazyalensky, who goes up through the chain of command in a very similar fashion as to how the Darkling planned. She was a General, and then she became Queen of Ravka - the acting monarch, no less - with a beloved public figure on her arm (which, in the Darkling’s case,  would have been Alina).

So I am left to wonder - was the lesson, then, indeed, that you cannot justify evil means for a good end? Was the moral of the Darkling all along about how you must be good throughout - with good acts and good intentions - in order to make change and be revered for it? If so, why did Leigh Bardugo slander the Darkling retroactively, the way she did?

If the problem was his actions and not his intentions, why insist that his intentions were devoid of meaning, as well?

Aleksander Morozova: What We Buried;

Now, you all knew I was going to get here eventually, and if you’ve made it, congrats. We are now talking about the emotion behind the deed, the man behind the monster, the boy swallowed by the shadows.

I believe it is pivotal to understand that Leigh Bardugo has always wanted us to struggle with our feelings over the Darkling. She wanted a character that you could sympathize with, she wanted a character with humanity, and she wanted a reason for his villainy. I think that Shadow and Bone, for all of its failings, gave us that. There’s a reason why there is such a big divide over the Darkling in the original trilogy. He was a compelling character! Somewhere along the way, Leigh Bardugo lost that nuance of her own character. At some point, she resorted to stripping him of his meaning and slandering his image. 

Perhaps I am playing the Devil’s Advocate again, but I believe this was intentionally done.

Because one has to ask - why slander the Darkling? A large portion of the fanbase already hates him, so cheapening his character is doing nothing for them other than giving them sweet vindication, which is unnecessary and only disenchants the other half of your audience. There has to be some deeper reasoning. Leigh Bardugo wanted this character to be sympathetic, so why, now, does she want him to be two-dimensional?

Once more, I am asking you to think back to the original trilogy. What was the main moral? That power, no matter how good-intentioned the pursuit of it is, corrupts. What is the Darklings purpose of coming back again if not to simply have power? He certainly shows no other motive than lusty greed, after being resurrected.

And even if we ignore his lust for power, as he so willingly gives it up to Zoya Nazyalensky in the end of Rule of Wolves, we have two other corrupting forces that could account for the degradation of his character - time, and  death.

We know the Darkling to have lived for eons, and he would have continued to live on for an eternity more. There is nothing like time to truly corrupt a character’s vision, and there is nothing like death and resurrection to husk a character.

In fact, if Mal’s character did anything of importance when it comes to effecting the Darkling, it lies in the epilogue of Ruin and Rising, where it is stated that “the boy and the girl had both known loss.” Mal’s loss is equated to Alina being stripped of her power - that is the power of having died, and being forcefully brought back to life. That is a vague basis for which we readers can compare what it must have been like for the Darkling to come back - even if he is so desensitized to feeling, that he doesn’t remark on it himself.

But let’s keep chugging on.

When we first met the Darkling in 2012 Shadow and Bone, he was unfeeling. He was cold and harsh. There was something beneath the surface, yes, but there were thick sheets of ice in the way. You had to mine for it. Time had already warped the actions of his intentions. It’s expected that time would continue to do its damage, and when he is revived in King of Scars, his intentions are warped as well. He is nothing of the person he used to be other than memories and power. That is why, at the end of Rule of Wolves, when he states that he did everything for Ravka, it feels hollow - that was once true, but the Darkling has even lost that. He has the vague impression of it, but nothing you can sink your teeth into.

I think, had this idea been looked at in deeper depth, it would have been a far more compelling story. Had Rule of Wolves really dedicated itself to showing the Darkling’s conflict of his current apathy, and the knowledge that there was once a time he possessed meaning, we could have found the marrow of his arc. If the book had made an allusion to this concept, his character would have been more satisfying. But as it stands, the Darkling is just degraded in the later books, and unless you really search for meaning, there isn’t any.

And perhaps, if the Darkling had been a different character - a character who, at his core, was more unfeeling - the way we left him would feel okay.

But while The Darkling was harsh and cruel, Aleksander Morozova wasn’t, and that’s what has us all hung up on his character.

If you haven’t read The Demon in the Wood for whatever reason, do yourself a favor and read that instead of revisiting the show’s version of his villain origin story. The show made the Darkling far less compelling by showing him as the grief stricken Black Heretic, rather than the boy within. When we meet Aleksander, he is a boy who is afraid of the world, who has never belonged in it or with others, and who is, ultimately, afraid of himself. With his mother, Baghra, he has taken on a thousand names and traveled a thousand places, and all the while, he is afraid of getting too close to others because he is an amplifier and he knows that if any Grisha were to find out, they would kill him for his power.

Thus, there is so much nuance to his relationship with the Grisha. He is one of them, but he is not. To hark back to our history lesson, he is the exact opposite of the “specially Othered” character that is so often given to protagonists. Instead of acting as a go-between, he is the one person that everyone - Grisha and otkazat’sya - can come together to kill.

And as a little boy, he knows that. He knows he has to stay in the shadows, and yet, he is deathly afraid of the dark - afraid of that which sets him apart, and that which he cannot escape.

This is poignant because at the root of every great character is a singular, vulnerable emotion, and for the Darkling, it is fear. And most importantly, fear of the shadows.

When he meets Alina, we truly see the strength of their duality. We truly see why he was so drawn to Alina - why he could so easily fall in love with her, despite the years and despite the tide, and despite his fear of letting others in. She is his equal and opposite - with her, there are no shadows. There is no fear. The fact that he lets Alina use him as an amplifier is so telling of his deep feelings for Alina.

Where each reader draws the line between their dynamic - either him truly loving Alina, or him simply loving and obsessing over the idea of her - is for the individual to decide. The wonderful thing about the Darkling in his current state in the original Shadow and Bone Trilogy is that he still has good intentions within him, no matter how corrupted by his evil actions. Whether or not they truly could have been is up to each person because the question over whether or not Alina could “purify” the Darkling was never deeply explored. We will never know if she could save him, or if it would have destroyed her in the end. Whether or not you want her to try is personal preference.

Again, Alina didn’t want to fully commit to that act, and so we readers will never truly know. Luckily, fanfiction exists.

But, I didn’t name this section “what we buried” for nothing, and I think it’s important to note that even in the beginning of The Demon in the Wood, the Darkling was already on his way toward a darker, harsher existence.

Baghra, from presumably the moment he was born, groomed the Darkling to be a certain way - the same way as her, a survivor with little hope, living for the sake of living and fighting for the sake of a meal. She had no plans to save the world - it was only after the Darkling had a run in with the possibility of death that he unearthed a deep desire within him - the desire to save the Grisha. Before that, it was buried.

Before that, the Darklings' desires were buried beneath his mother’s words and buried beneath the dirt that settled over his heart like a shallow grave, because his connection to others was buried as well. Baghra did that, and whether or not she was misguided or if she was the smarter of the two is an essay better tackled by looking at her, specifically, which we won’t do here.

As we’re reaching the end, I feel like I have earned the right to be cliche and quote the Darkling’s thoughts from when he was still a boy, but already a shadow. In The Demon in the Wood, he thinks:

“My father is dust. You all are.”

At such a young age, the Darkling has already lost his grip. Already, he knew he would outlive and outlast anyone, and this heavy knowledge was already piling up, and he was slowly being buried alive in his own infinence.

It was only ever inevitable that his story would end like this - with a detached man who was once a hopeful boy, but could no longer recall what such confidence tasted like - so perhaps the tragic beauty in the end of Ruin and Rising was not that he died, it was that he wasn’t given an end.

— Special kudos to @onceupon-a-decembr​ who let me scream about this with her, and another kudos to @musicallisto​ who introduced me to a book series that I will never stop screaming about. Ever.

— tagging: @maybanksslut, @musicallisto, @catsbooksandmusic, @thefifthweasley, @thegirlwhocriedwerewolf, @amirahiddleston, @lachichapequena, @mrs-brekker15, @amortensie // add yourself to the taglist here!

[dollarstoreghostie]

Can I request a headcannon with asa and jesse with a reader who has hetrochromia ( one eye piercing blue and the other piercing green ) 😊💕

Absolutely!! And my apologies for the late response, I lost my password and got locked out for a long while, but I'm back with a vengeance!! Haha

ANYWHO, A BIT OF CONTEXT

JESSE AND ASA have very very very different love styles and this translates into vastly different relationship dynamics.

FOR INSTANCE, ASA generally doesn't view people as being equal to him. Resulting from his complete disconnect and disassociation with the human race, he views people like novelties, collectables; just another predictable creature to be cataloged and added to his ever-expanding collection of life and art. But you're different- don't get him wrong, you aren't on his level, but you're not so easily replaced. You're special. There's just something about you that has him like a fly in a web. No matter how much he thrashes and tries to free himself, he becomes more entrapped in you. The way you smile and talk and the way you walk and carry yourself and care about these things he can't understand. A part of him, being the drama queen he is, longs for you to put him out of his misery and sink your fangs in— freeing him, just as the spiders do when they consume their prey, but you don't, you refuse to, he's left himself vulnerable in front of you, waiting for you to put him out of his misery.

But you never do, it infuriates him. He disconnects from you, and, in the most uncharacteristic move for him, he leaves you alone and isolates himself from you and anything that reminds him of you and it's in this self-imposed isolation that he finds life so bland without you, it's worse than just missing you, it's longing. He feels like what those old poets spoke of, you won't leave his mind, no matter how he tries, and it's even more angering, but he finds, despite his pride, just how much fondness he has come to feel for you, and love, as tacky a word as that sounds. It's all he can describe it as. Inevitably, he comes to find that despite how much he loathes being out of control that he'd prefer to keep you around. You're just, you're weird, he can't explain it or his fascination with you, but he can't get enough of you.

MEANWHILE, JESSE TAKES AN ENTIRELY STANCE; his love doesn't place you equal to him or even beneath him. You are, in many ways, viewed above him. Now- hear me out here- Jesse would never think you were capable of defending yourself, or hell, even holding your own. But you aren't a pig. You aren't disgusting. You aren't meat in the way he views his victims or nuisances in the form of the brainless yes men that surrounds him in droves, like flies above carrion hoping to have a taste of the kingdom of blood and deceit he's built for himself. You are; you're beautiful. You see things so, not simply, but guilelessly. Unlike the sheep he employs, you are kind, so kind and sweet. You would never try to use him, and he knows this. He relies on this. He can trust you, and he sees you almost like an angel, especially after the accident that disfigured him.

You didn't run from the sight of his face, and that, that did it for him. If he ever had a thought about getting rid of you beforehand. That faded the first time he melted in your hands because, through his half-blind, remaining eye, all he saw in your face was concern and empathy, not disgust, not anger, not an attempt to stay strong and hide those all-consuming, repulsive emotions. He saw the exact reason he fell so deeply for you and the same reason Jesse had spared you of a role in one of his tapes. But this kindness of yours, as much as he adores it, concerns him and infuriates him at times. In his view, HE is the only one who should be on the receiving end of your softness, HE is the only one who deserves it, and these swine, this meat, would dare try to rob him of what only he deserves. The idea is enough to make him enraged. Still, this anger is never directed at you. Instead, those around you because he views you as utterly oblivious to the disgusting habits of the meat around him. To him, you are a victim. You are so wholesome, it's the world that would try to corrupt and turn you into another pig, and he will protect you from it.

NOW, WHY BRING THIS UP, BUN? Well, the thing is, it translates directly into their very different takes on loving your beautiful and unique eyes! Because regardless of their, well, peculiarities in how they love, they will love how you look, and really your personality is what counts the most to them. REGARDLESS

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑 / 𝐀𝐒𝐀 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐊𝐔𝐋𝐋 / 𝐉𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍 𝐒/𝐎 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐀

ASA IS FASCINATED WITH YOUR EYES. Perhaps they were what drew him to you in the first place. Scratch that, they were definitely what drew Asa to you in the first place. He had been leaving the shitty cafe outside of his university, with his first of many drinks for the day. When he'd taken a minute to catch his breath, the watery, bland and yet strangely bitter taste of the poor excuse for coffee knocking him back when he saw you pass by.

YOU DIDN'T STRIKE HIM AT FIRST, in fact, you seemed a little bland, the shade of your hair and its texture were something he had collected in droves, similarly, your skin, though breathtaking in its own right with the occasional blemish here and there, was nothing he hadn't collected before. In fact, he wouldn't have given you a second glance, if you hadn't turned to him and given him that polite smile.

THE WAY YOUR EYES GLIMMERED IN THE SUNLIGHT, THEIR MISMATCHED HUES SEEMING TO GLISTEN AS THE SHADES FRAMED THE POLITE BEND OF YOUR LIPS. He knew he had to have them - had to have you. But it wouldn't be until he watched you closer that he realized that the way he had initially thought wouldn't suffice. No, he couldn't put you into a jar or stuff you in formaldehyde. As he watched you walk home at the end of the day, the way you bobbed your head to the music, you were endearing, he didn't understand it, but you were. He'd have to hold on for you, play the long haul, as it were. And approach you as Asa far before he would collect you. It's easier to catch flies with honey rather than vinegar after all, and he'd prefer to keep you alive for now.

WHEN HE GOT YOU THOUGH, HE COULD NOT STOP STARING, it was, strange, you'd often turn and find him staring at you, his face unreadable, but his eyes speaking nothing but quiet admiration as he rode whatever train of thought seemed to have taken him at that moment.

AND FOR A TIME, YOU THOUGHT THIS MUST BE A COINCIDENCE, he wasn't looking at you, just in your direction and was lost in thought beforehand. It was a reasonable conclusion in your mind, he was the silent, contemplative, education type. It seemed to complete the persona. But no, no matter what you were doing, he'd be quietly watching. In awe as the light bounced from your eyes, the way the colours shifted. How your face shifted into concentration. How your lips would twitch when you thought of something funny.

WHENEVER YOU TRIED TO CONFRONT HIM, JOKINGLY OR NOT, HE WOULD BRUSH OVER HOW HE WAS WATCHING YOU AND THE LOVING WAY HE SEEMED TO FOCUS ON YOUR FACE. Always an excuse it seemed, but the way he would stumble on his words when confronted, smiling nervously and almost begging you to believe him was adorable and told you more than any explanation ever could.

YOU WOULD NOTICE THOUGH THAT HE'D BECOME FAR MORE INTERESTED IN THE MAKEUP YOU'D WEAR AND THE WAY YOU'D ACCESSORIZE. You think he's trying to be helpful but speaking out of his ass, but on the contrary, Asa has done his homework, he knows how to make your eyes pop, and he would like to make sure you knew how exactly to make your most precious asset look its best.

SOMETHING IN THE VIVID, MISMATCHED HUES OF YOUR EYES BRINGS JESSE BACK TO A SIMPLER TIME. Back when the height of the excitement that came from his twisted life were the frequent visits to his father's funeral home. How his father would force teach him how to dissect women. The ringing in his ears when his little hands shook to much to properly hold the blade. The hot tears that ran down his face when he inevitably left into the back alley, humiliated and tears and the soft respect of the old alley cat that lived back there.

SHE NEVER HAD A NAME, BUT SHE DIDN'T NEED ONE, the soft tufts of orange fur, that sweet, rhythmic purr and those striking eyes. She would come to him and curl up in his lap, purring and meowing and batting at the drawstrings on his jumper. And he would forget the humiliation, he would forget his father and the women, and he would play. To this day, he could still recall the warm fuzzy feeling of weightlessness that came as that cat showed him the love and affection his father never would.

BUT EVENTUALLY, THE CAT STOPPED COMING. Logically, Jesse knew the cat had probably passed away - the last few visits, he could recall the sharp bumps of the cat's bones through its skin, how small and frail it looked. A part of him feared the worst and contemplated bringing her home, but he knew if the cat didn't pass on the streets, she would meet a far worse fate in his home. But the sting of the loss of who seemed to be his only respite from his father and the only constant in his life burned.

AS THE YEARS PASSED, HE EVENTUALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE CAT, but the feelings it gave him, the warmth and comfort he felt as that cat circled between his legs, its tail curling as though it had a mind of its own and those striking eyes staring up at him with nothing but love... that never left.

WHEN HE FIRST MET YOU, HE HAD THAT FAMILIAR RUSH, LIKE SEEING A GHOST. It took him a while to realize where it came from - after all, the years eventually blend together into this stew of anger, lashing out, the wins and the loses and the tapes. But when he gets it - he gets it. That strange little cat and you? The coincidence is impeccable, and he gives a hoarse chuckle at the thought.

HE GIVES YOU THE NICKNAME 'ALLEY' AND 'KITTY' you don't understand it, and he will never explain, lest you decide to go poking around in the oldest dredges of his family photos, but it's cute, and you can tell by the creases in the corner of his eyes and the knowing half-grins he gives at your mock offence that he means the term lovingly. As strange as that seems.

AND YOU CAN BET HE'LL BRAG ABOUT YOU TOO. No one in his 'circle' would ever be allowed to see you - let alone contact you or see you for themselves - those sheep don't need that leverage over him. But they will hear all about your eyes, your beautiful eyes, the way they smile, how they bunch up with anger, how they don't hold the same animosity, degeneracy of his past suitors. Of whom there were many.

ITS ALSO NEEDLESS TO SAY, BUT THERE WILL BE GIFTS TOO, Jesse isn't much of a gifter in general, but he makes an exception for you. He loves seeing you dressed up, fancy, like a gift, like you deserve to be. You make him so happy, after all. But there will be jewellery, earrings, maybe a necklace, bracelets, rings... Whatever you want in those colours.

[pridewhatpride]

omg pls talk more about GX rival shipping once the transfer students come

Dear anon, I love you for asking this of me, but I have to wonder if you want everyone who follows me to start hating me.

Long post coming up? You know it. I apologise to all Johan fans, he's great and I loved him and his deck as a child. Now I'm just salty because he's too perfect. Warning because this is a mess of unrequited feelings and it's an all around bad time if you ship anything in gx. I did mention I do not practice self care in a previous post of mine. Enjoy your pain c:

So here are my bad takes of the day, under the very handy cut!

You see, gx rivalshipping becomes a lot more complicated and angsty when the transfer students arrive. The dynamic changes. If there is a dynamic at all. I mean, imagine yourself in Manjoume's shoes. You've lowkey had a crush on this dumb guy who kind of ruined your life (but actually improved it and freed you from the restraints your family imposed on you), just to watch a handsome scandinavian dude who is a lot more muscular than you are and maybe a little bit nicer, maybe just waltz in and completely captivate said dumb guy's attention. Just when you had managed to admit your own feelings to yourself.

Johan comes in and steals the room, everybody loves him, he's good looking, charismatic, kind and has a magical exclusive shiny sparkling deck at his disposal that he uses as if it was the most natural thing in the world, like he hadn't received approval Pegasus himself on top of the duel spirits. And Judai clearly can't get enough of it, because he's always seeking him out, ever since the duel they had in front of everyone, and Manjoume finds that he's really annoyed by it. He wishes he'd been chosen for the demonstration, deluding himself into believing that if he'd won, Judai would have never started caring so damn much about Johan. But a part of him knows he would have probably lost and that even if he hadn't, Judai would have not cared about the outcome at all. It's nice to think that winning a card game can solve all your problems, but, while Manjoume has only ever experienced how much losing one can mess with your life goals, he isn't stupid enough to think that winning would grant him happiness. Not anymore. No well-thought-out strategy can rid him of his bad temper and his worthless pride.

The thing is, he can't really hate Johan, because nobody can hate Johan. He's just the perfect picture of everything Manjoume isn't and, going by everyone's reaction, the fact that 'everyone is unique in their own way and worthy of love' is absolute bullshit. There clearly is an objective better one of the two and Manjoume is very aware that he isn't it. And he'd probably begrundgingly be cool with it, after all he'd accepted that Jaden was braver than him, that Asuka was emotionally stronger and more resolute, that Daichi was smarter, not to mention how much plain better than him his fomer upperclassmen were. Forget about pros like Edo, whom Judai had stood on equal grounds with. But Judai is clearly playing favourites, too, hell, he hardly even acknowledges Manjoume.

He finds himself forcibly removed from his already shaky position as rival, because now Johan is there to take it up, on top of the titles of 'best friend' and 'emotional support and crutch' and 'maybe something else I'd really rather not know'.

Manjoume just generally hates it all. He might have changed and improved himself, but there is no saving him from the fact that some people were just better. That doesn't stop him from trying. But again he finds himself pitted against Judai, the irony of his fate never giving him a moment to rest. Manipulated and turned into the enemy of those he cares about, again.

A part of him despises how good it feels to learn that Johan has gone missing, but Judai is screaming like his arms have been torn off and while he hates that it's all for Johan, he hates that Judai is in pain even more. Judai had saved him before and it's only right for him to return the favour. So he insists on helping him on his stupidly risky plan to save Johan. And it's all to get the old Judai back.

...The rest, from Manjoume's perspective is a mess. His feelings of anger stem from the hatred he harbours towards himself and the bond between Judai and Johan. He'd been trying to help, he had, he sincerely had, but everything just swirled together and the next thing he knows is that he is shouting at Judai because it suddenly made sense to guilt trip him over the fact that he'd abandoned his friends, he'd abandoned him as soon as someone better had come into the picture. And it was Judai's fault for letting them- him believe that he cared when he didn't, when he couldn't have cared less, because clearly he had one priority only and that was Johan. They had come to help and it still wasn't being appreciated.

Disappearing is a relief, for a moment, but then he finds himself in another hellish place and he can't help but think that it's retribution for being so upset over something that has nothing to do with him. That's right. It's his own fault for making Judai, his only real friend (aside from Fubuki, sorry for breaking the immersion, but I love Fubuki), carry the burden of the stupid hopes that came with his feelings. Judai has no fault. Johan has no fault. It's his own for desiring something that would always be out of reach.

As he is tortured by his own thoughts and regrets in the other dimension, Manjoume silently wishes his words meant nothing to Judai, that he'd be spared the pain of betrayal. He wishes Judai can achieve his goal.

When Shou appears to him, he knows there is no time to waste. If he is alive, the others are, too. Judai would want to know that they are safe. So he asks Shou to carry his message, along with his good luck wish. He hopes it's enough to make up for his mistakes.

Next thing he knows, they are back at DA, Judai is nowhere to be seen. Manjoume mourns the loss of his first and only friend and curses himself for tarnishing that memory. (Judai's return and season 4 would be too much to cover, this was only Manjoume's pov and I might as well just rewrite the entire show at this point.)

So what about Judai?

I personally want to believe that he genuinely does like Manjoume at some point. But as much as it pains me to admit it, season 3 just wrote Manjoume off from the list of main characters and relegated him to 'he's your funny comic relief, nobody really gives a shit about what he thinks or feels, so why should you, the spectator who has grown to love him, care at all? Also here's his sticker that confirms that Judai going after Johan makes him really angry for some reason, make of that what you will c:' (fuck the writing staff, I'm not even sorry).

Judai is so clearly smitten with Johan. It seems to me that his refusal to accept Manjoume's help that one time on the cliff shows that Judai doesn't really understand the way Jun operates. He probably labeled him as just someone else who counted on him to be saved. And sure, Manjoume is saved by Judai in multiple occasions, but he doesn't ever really... ask for it? Or more importantly expect it. He doesn't get himself into situations he can't handle because Judai can save him anyways, the trouble just kind of happens at him and more often than not he's only involved by accident, because he happens to be close to Judai.

The problem still stands, as season 3 starts, Judai is very much burdened by everyone's expectations and Johan is a breath of fresh air and the only one Judai actually considers a friend and an equal. It's heartbreaking that he felt that alone.

They get their gay 'have we met somewhere before moment', they duel gaily, they homoerotically tell eachother how admirable the other is, they shamelessly flirt and whoohoo Judai has an unofficial boyfriend and who can blame him for concentrating on him along with wanting to escape the pressure his former gang unknowingly laid on him.

But yeah, Judai in season 3 has a one track mind and it's hard not to see it as romantic. Does he know it is? Maybe? I honestly don't know. I feel like Johan is the one of the two who is aware of the implications of their interactions. Which also kind of brings me to say... does Johan think that all of Judai's friends are horrible people? Because he never once comments on how Judai distances himself from them once he arrives. He probably thinks they were never good friends in the first place.

Judai probably excuses his attentions towards Johan with the fact that they are alike because they can see spirits, but then he rememebers that so can Manjoume and maybe he feels guilty for a second, but Johan cracks a joke and Judai laughs and thinks to himself that Manjoume is probably happy to have the peace and quiet he so often claimed to want.

Like... I think a part of him would get that tightness in his chest because it's like he's betrayed someone, but he knows he hasn't, because there isn't any actual mutual agreement he's going against. So he lets himself fall deeper into the comfort of Johan's presence. Johan is, to Judai, the ideal person. He is exactly who Judai wants to become. Judai admires him very deeply and strives to be more like him, but he falls gradually into despair as he learns, once Johan is gone, that no, he can't be like him, because Johan is so much better than him, and if he doesn't get him back soon he might even forget what he was like in the first place. Johan can't be erased, can't be forgotten. And Judai feels like he's vanishing already, so he throws himself into a wild interdimensional manhunt to save his hopes for the future.

Turns out that wanting to do good doens't always result in a good outcome. That's what Judai learns when Manjoume lashes out at him just seconds before disappearing. Along with the others, too. Judai doesn't even have the brain power to compute that some people are still there, that he can still save someone, because he realised then that he had focused so much on Johan that he'd completely overlooked the fact that while his friends relied on him a little too much, they hadn't meant any harm. And if he'd just told them, maybe they would have been fine, they could've cooperated- but Manjoume had told him that he was a traitor, that he'd doomed them with his irrational behaviour.

Manjoume's last words to him had been spoken with hatred and Judai realised only then that he had misread him entirely. He lets despair and self hatred take over as he realises that if he had managed to hurt the ones he cared about so easily, discarding them for the new good thing, he could just keep doing that. And it would stop hurting, eventually.

I like to think that Manjoume really does have an impact on the awakening of the Supreme King. Yeah, I know he only turns once Johan's death is mentioned, I know. I just suffer from abandonment issues and can't stand that Manjoume dying in front of him is more impactful to Judai than a guy who literally can't be trusted saying "Joke's on you, the one you're looking for is in another castle already dead."

So yeah. That's the angsty overview.

TL;DR Johan is an Adonis, Judai is smitten and Manjoume is very very heartbroken. But actually so is Judai. Because while being with Johan feels right, there's someone whose absence feels wrong, but he doesn't allow himself to dwell on it and everything goes to shit. All around a bad time for everyone and they'll have a lot of talking to do once they properly reconcile after graduation.

[tentendeservedbetter]

home is where my team is - Chapter 3

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“Today will be the final test I have to take in order to become a Genin, just as you and father have been before. Please, watch over me.” 

She bowed slightly, her hands together in a prayer sign in front of her nose, before opening her eyes and pushing herself off of her knees to stand. She quickly patted her black pants, getting rid of any left over lint from the pillow she sat on, and she stared at the Dainichi Buddha that stood tall and proud with his eyes closed, in the middle of the elevated floor surrounded by the four other slightly shorter Buddhas on each cardinal sides. 

Lines of black tiles, rectangular and short with white paint engraved in kanjis, sat in rows and columns along ascending stairs that flanked beside the Buddhas closer to the wall, with bigger tiles reserving their spots closest to the statues. The big tiles soon transformed into framed photos with a tablet in front of it as you descended the stairs, with the most recent addition being the only one in colour. 

The Hyuuga Shrine found in the northern part of the Hyuuga Compound is a homestead for the gods and the names of their ancestors and recently departed. While the Konoha cemetery was where most of their relatives would be buried, allocated under their appropriate place reserved for specific clans or among the fallen, this shrine was more so a safekeeping of their past, of their legacy, and of their tradition. The walls, though faint and dull from age, had traces of paintings of the Hyuuga clan's rich history and unique style of fighting, tracing all the way back to before the formation of Konoha as they know it today.

Rarely did Hinata come to the family shrine to pray, and rarely does she pray at all. She was unsure i f she truly believed in the gods that protected their family, and she was much more unsure of whether the spirits of her ancestors were truly watching over her. If anything, they were probably looking down at her with disappointment in their eyes and disapproving shakes of the head at how the heiress of the Hyuuga Clan turned out.

Poor Lord Hiashi,  they were probably whispering amongst themselves.  It was bad enough that he had no sons, but the eldest daughter is weak in nature! What will become of the Hyuuga clan at if Hinata were to remain heiress?

She only came to the shrine when she needed time alone and away from the entire compound, a place where she may talk freely to the air and without having to feel the weight of disappointment from the elders of her clan. Solace was found in the shrine that was hidden amongst the trees, away from prying ears and scrutinizing glances. Though, it was the limited access to the shrine that allowed the shrine to be almost always empty; this sanctuary is only allowed to be accessed by the lucky few that were born into the Main House of the clan.

The lucky few like herself.

Hinata wasn't fond of that rule, thought she was never fond of  anything  concerning the divide between the Main House and the Branch House. She was taught from a young age about the relationship between the houses from the elders that watched over her: the Main House was the brain of the clan, the most important organ that allowed all the knowledge and secrets hidden within this family to carry on throughout the generations, while the Branch House was the vessel that protected this important organ, working only as a reactionary mechanism of the Main House. 

The Branch House's purpose in life, the reason they were born, was to protect the Main House from outsiders who sought to obtain the ultimate knowledge of the Hyuuga Clan, and inherently, want to obtain their prized kekkei genkai: the Byakugan.

But the shrine is a place for someone to seek solace and guidance in the gods, with the Buddhas being those who transcended into omnipotence, a teacher to all who wish to pursue their knowledge. 

Why, then, should the Branch Family, who, despite only being seen as protectors of the Main Family, not be allowed to enter this shrine that praises the gods that guided the principles of their clan? Do they not carry the same clan name? If their sole duty is to protect the Main House, then they are in an equally honourable position as them; without the members of the Branch House, the Main House lineage would have to fend for themselves. They should have the right to seek solace, the same right as the Main House have to seek faith.

That’s what Hinata wished she could say. 

But she knew that the house dynamic in the Hyuuga clan was much more complicated than that, running deep into the roots of their lineage. She knew it was a game of power, a game of authority. They were the Hyuuga clan, after all, and they were considered to be one of the most prestigious clans in Konoha, one of the four noble clans to actually found the village; control was a given to a clan as secretive and powerful as her own.

That’s why they performed that cruel technique that even the Hokage had to turn a blind eye to; to maintain power and control.

Maybe one day she could change the way the Hyuuga clan was. Maybe one day, the Main House would come to co-exist with the Branch House in a more equal way. But if she wanted to do any of that, she needed to be stronger than she is now.

And the only way to do that is to pass today’s test.

If you’re there, Mother,  Hinata thought as her eyes returned back to the coloured image along the ancestral lineup. The woman in the photo, with deep blue hair that hung behind her shoulders with a few strands shaping her face and pale irises, looked back at her with a soft smile.  Please give me the courage you had.

She took her white hoodie and backpack from the floor beside where she sat and put it on as she started to walk across the wooden floor towards the doors of the shrine. As she gets to the bottom of the stairs, she took one last breath of the incense scented room. 

She had plenty of time to spare before heading out to the Hokage Rock, her usual morning practice session (or, as she liked to think of it, her usual morning  torture session) with her father and grandfather was put on hold for the time being. But first she had to pick up her lunch from the kitchen- her grandmother was likely there to make sure Hinata would pack more than enough to eat, insistence that if she wanted to become stronger for the clan, she would build her body that way. 

It was conflicting with what all her aunties would say. They would tell Hinata to cut down on the food, or else she would gain weight.  Or worse , they would say when her grandmother mentions being stronger,  you’d look like a guy with big muscles . It didn’t help that ever since she turned 10, for some reason, her waist had gotten wider and her chest was bigger than most girls her age. Luckily, the hoodie she had was not only useful for the cool January weather they have in Konoha, but also helped hide her body from judging eyes.

She crossed a short way into the main house found in the centre of the compound, trying to maintain her step as she crossed the floorboard that lined around the perimeter of the house. She kept her eyes glued to the ground whenever she could see an elder Hyuuga walking down the hall, trying to ignore them and save herself from an impending lecture. 

As she entered the hallway towards the kitchen, Hinata turned the corner quickly, when she suddenly felt a sharp collision with someone that made her rebound back onto the floor. 

Her face twisted slightly at the pain of her nose hitting against the other person’s shoulders, and she let out a small ‘ow’. 

“Watch where you’re-” a sharp voice suddenly scolded her, before abruptly stopping. Hinata looked up towards the person she had just hit, and she could feel a slight sense of dread building up in her stomach.

“O-Oh,” Hinata managed to mumbled, as she scrambled to get herself up, not wanting to seem completely knocked out from what was a simple collision (even though her nose was still stinging). "Neji-niisan."

Her cousin stood before her in his usual shinobi garb of brown shorts and eggshell washed shirt, looking down at her from his slightly taller stature, his angular eyes narrowing. His headband with the Konoha symbol gleamed slightly when he tilted down, the metal rectangle being stitched onto a brown headband instead of the usual blue, with long buckles hanging from each of his temples and going past his shoulders.

Neji was her cousin through their fathers, his father Hizashi, who had passed away when she was too young to remember what had truly happened, being her father’s younger twin. He was Hinata's senior by only a year. He had graduated from the Academy and became a Genin during the previous year, yet he looked much older than the average 13 year old that he should be. It could be because of how hardened his face looked compared to a lot of kids around their age, making his face look sharper than it actually was. He balanced it out with his long brown hair, that flowed up till his waist as it would traditionally be grown by the men of the family, held by the end with a hairtie. 

Hinata was often time envious of Neji. He was considered what a Hyuuga should be, disciplined and stoic, and efficient when it came to mastering the basic forms of their family’s fighting style, the Gentle Fist. She wished she had not only his natural gift of picking up skills with ease, but also his confidence and surety with every calculated strike he made- it would definitely make her life easier if she were that way.

That, and she wished she had his looks as well. She had heard the long running comments made by the women of the family; “ Hiashi’s eldest is cute and all, but Hizashi’s child is the prettiest out of all the cousins”  and “I wish my daughter looked like Hizashi’s child”.  

And most of the times, Hinata agreed with them.

“I’m sorry!” Hinata quickly exclaimed, feeling nervous by how his white pupils seemed to be looking into her soul. “Are you alright?”

She could see that he was trying not to show his scowl at her, but was proving to have difficulties when she saw the corners of his mouth twitch downwards, lines evident on his pale skin.The dread seeped in deeper, and she could feel her shoulders curl inwards, trying to make herself small under his gaze.

Neji never smiled at her. 

He always frowned.

Even when Hinata was younger and tried to talk and play with him, Neji never smiled at her. He only forced out a reply here and there, and that’s only if her father was around.

“Lady Hinata,” Neji replied courtly, his tone much cooler than before, but he still glowered at her. “Please watch your step. You can hurt yourself by not being careful.”

“O-oh,” Hinata muttered as she glanced away, his piercing eyes making her nervous. “Okay. But are you-”

Before she could finish her sentence, Neji immediately walked past her with a quick step, turning the corner she came from without a single word, leaving Hinata alone. 

“...hurt,” she finished in a whisper, the dread now turning into hurt at being dismissed this way. 

She really did try her hardest to get to know Neji but to no avail. The young boy never seemed to want to talk to her, never mind be around her. If he was, it was only because Hinata couldn’t be left alone and needed someone from the Branch House to watch over her; and usually, Neji would be the prime candidate, handpicked by Hiashj, being the closest to her age compared to the other clansmen. It has always been this way, their relationship has always been rocky, but Hinata never understood why Neji always refrained from talking to them. 

Were they not cousins before anything else? Was he not supposed to her older brother, the one she should seek guidance from?

What had she done to Neji, except be born into the Main House? 

But at the same time, if she were him, would she not resent her as well?

Hinata didn’t have time to ruminate over what had just happened, and tried to push it down to the back of her mind, as she often does. She fixed the straps of her bag so it fit snug on her shoulder and continued to walk down the halls at a slower pace.

She got to the part of the complex where the faint sounds of pots clanking against one another and fresh fish and eggs sizzling on top a pan could be heard, and Hinata could feel her mouth salivating. She was just in time for a quick breakfast on the spot.

She slid the door with a gentle hand, revealing a pair of woman, both relatively young and wearing a white bandana across their forehead, swiftly shifted between the countertop and the stove. Another woman, middle aged with a few grey hairs, stood near a giant pot on top of a coal fire near the open doorway on the opposite side, letting the steam from the rice cooking waft out to the back court. An elderly woman with grey hair secured in a bun and slightly hunched shoulders shuffled along the countertop, a bento box sitting in front of her as she stuffed sliced vegetables inside.

"Lady Hinata," all three women acknowledged her as they did a bow to the young heiress. Hinata bowed to them, them being her aunties, even if they were apart of the Branch House - she was still raised to be respectful of her elders. 

And even then, Hinata found that it was harder to maintain a separation of houses between the women of the Hyuuga clan- regardless of the house they belong to, and regardless of whether they are of a lower branch, it seems that often when the women and girls are together without the demeaning eye of men, there is not as big of a drift between them, save for maintaining standard titles protocols. 

It didn't help that often times, marriage between the Main House and the extended Branch House. After all, her own grandmother, her father's mother, was from the Branch House, further along the line, and married her grandfather of the Main House. These marriages blurred the lines of formality at times.

Though, what the women lacked in standard house tensions tends to take the form of more personal grudges towards certain family members, from meager things like forgetting to return the favour to downright gossiping about an aloof relative over tea.

Ah, the benefits of having a large family.

While Hinata would try to avoid having a conversation with relatives (mostly because it causes her an existential crisis with their incessant questions and because she already had enough whispers about her), these three aunties were the ones she was most comfortable with. They were often the ones in the kitchen, the ones making the meals during the day for the entire clan; diplomacy was the least of their concern when they had to make copious amounts of food.

"Good morning, Aunties," Hinata replied in a soft tone, smiling as she stepped towards the elderly lady, to look at the contents of the bento box. She could feel her stomach churn at the amount of rice that was on the exposed layer, and that was just one of the two. "Grandmother, you know I can't eat that much food..."

"Nonsense," her grandmother said without looking at Hinata, her frail little body shaking as her hands closed the lid of the bento box. She started to fold the cloth, a baby blue cloth, around the box in a slow manner, the slight twitching of her hand with each tug worrying Hinata, but she didn't stop the woman from doing it. "You need all the energy you can get to become stronger. How would you bring honour to the Hyuuga name if you do not become a strong heir like your father, and his father before?"

Maybe I don't want to be the heir , Hinata wanted to say, but just smiled shyly, eyebrows pulling in. "I can be strong without eating a meal for two."

“Mother Homura," one of her aunt's with the white bandana started from the stove. "Lady Hinata does not need to eat more than she needs to. They won't put her on any taxing missions right away."

"Aunt Kayake's right, Grandmother," Hinata nodded along. "I'm just doing a test-"

"If it's the same type of testing they did with Hiashi, then you most definitely need more than this," Homura replied, her eyebrows, fine and grey, raising as she tried to turn her body to put the bento box back onto the table.

"N-no, it's alright!" Hinata took the box with both hands before Homura could set it down. She started to guide Homura towards a rocking chair in the corner of the kitchen, where a tea set has already been placed on top of a table nearby. "This is enough! Thank you."

"Have they already assigned your team?" the woman stirring the pot of rice, her Aunt Suzume, distantly related to Hinata as is Kayake, started, drawing Hinata’s attention towards her after she allowed Homura to take a seat.

"Yes, we were assigned to them yesterday," Hinata said, unraveling her grandmother's hands to hold onto the bento box in the blue cloth. "I have been placed on a team with Kiba Inuzuka and Shino Aburame."

"An Inuzuka?" The other woman with the bandana, Kayake's younger sister and Hinata's Aunt Mitsu, giggled. She continued to slice open the shrimps from their shells on a cutting board, placing them in a separate bowl. Mitsu leaned forward slightly towards the other three woman, keeping her voice low so that only Homura, with her age causing her poor hearing, could not hear.“The Inuzuka men are quite rugged, don’t you think?”

“Mitsu, we do not care for your love affairs,” Kayake waved her sister’s comment off, returning her attention to the stove, but Suzume’s face contorted in a frantic frown.

“Mitsu! Do not plant such ideas in Lady Hinata’s mind!” Suzume scolded her with a hiss, lifting the rice paddle from the pot, waving it slightly as if she were about to hit Mitsu with it. Hinata could feel her neck start to flush slightly as it started to reach her cheeks at her implications. “She is still a child!”

“Tell me, Hinata,” Mitsu ignored them and ushered Hinata to come closer. The young heiress gravitated towards them. “What are your teammates like?”

“They’re…” Hinata started, hesitating slightly about the words she could use. How  were  her teammates like?

She was apprehensive of being placed on Team 8, and she was sure Shino and Kiba were too. She saw how Kiba’s friends, the two boys and the girl he always sat next to, snickered and whispered amongst themselves when they heard Hinata and Shino's name, and something about them being 'weirdos'.

Hinata wasn't surprised by their words. She knows that, compared to the rest of her classmates, she was off. Painfully shy and quieter than a mouse, Hinata was a stark contrast to what the usual kid her age was like. Her mannerisms, her voice, hell, even her looks, made her a wallflower, a pale white wallpaper that people know is there, but never bothered to be looked at. Only her blood made her truly visible. The only times that people willingly engaged with her is when her family's name is mentioned during a lecture, in which all the kids would turn over to wherever she was sitting to look at her, to see her reaction.

Most of the time, she would look away.

She didn't like looking at people. She didn't like making eye contact.

She felt it was too heavy, too intimate, too much for her soul to handle. She feels like people try to analyze too much of what she says, trying to reach into her soul, trying to unlock the pandora box that is her emotions.

And she didn't like that.

That's why she liked Shino a lot. She knew they would get along well, he was equally as quiet as her, though he was by no means shy. If yesterday's team meeting probed anything, it was that Shino Aburame was vocal, raising himself as an equal to whoever he spoke to. But he respected their space, respected Hinata's space, not looking at her unless she initiated (though, it could be because his glasses made it hard for her to see his irises, making her feel at ease).

Kiba on the other hand, she wasn't sure what to say. He was on the opposite spectrum to her, being outgoing and rowdy with his ways, and the confidence he exudated made Hinata envious. She didn't mind loud people- she found them fascinating and admirable. 

But he was also subtly witty, something that she didn't think she would describe the Inuzuka as. Usually he is vocal about how he feels, calling someone out on their nonsense without a second thought, but yesterday showed her that there was more to him than meets the eye. 

She had to admit thought; while envious of Kiba's personality, she was incredibly intimidated by him. It's not as if she didn't see his bad side, when he would dive head first into a fight against another kid if they talked smack about him to his face, his fists brimming purple with bruises and face speckled with blood. And he always came out victorious with a grin on his face, and Iruka-sensei fuming as he had to drag him off of the poor kid who tried to get a rise out of him, only to be crying on the ground with a bloody nose.

Just remembering it sent chills down her spine.

She definitely did not want to get on his bad side.

"They're nice," she said, fidgeting with the bento box as she glanced away, the way Mitsu looked at her with anticipation making her nervous. "A-and, they're very interesting."

"Interesting in what way?"

"U-uh-"

"Mitsu, you'll get in trouble if Lord Hiashi hears what you insinuate," Kayake warned her sister with a weary look towards Homura, but the old woman barely heeded their words, enjoying a cup of tea as she swayed slightly in the rocking chair.

Mitsu giggled at her words and straightening herself, before continued slicing the shrimp's shell in her hand. "Can't I ask the young heiress about these things? It's not like they won't ask her about it later."

Hinata could feel herself blush at her aunt's notion.

There was someone that she admired in her life...but she was not going to disclose that to them, not until the entirety of hell freezes over.

"Do that when it is time to do so," Suzume scoffed. "Knowing Lord Hiashi, however, it would be a long process."

I hope it doesn't happen anytime soon,  Hinata thought, biting the bottom of her lips slightly. Talks of marriage and whatnot were not her main concern- perhaps one day, but right now, she had more things to worry about than her supposed betrothal.

"Isn't it interesting though," Kayake suddenly started after a pause, turning back to look at towards the two other women and Hinata. "That they always put an Aburame, an Inuzuka, and a Hyuuga on the same team whenever the graduating class had all three?"

To this, Hinata's eyebrows raised slightly. Her words were too precise not to ignore. "A-always? Who was apart of the last of this group formation?"

All three women looked at one another when Hinata asked her question, their faces suddenly become weary, and Hinata could feel the room fall still all of the sudden. She glanced between them, not knowing what to do, and suddenly felt like becoming very small to hide herself, not knowing what had warranted this tenseness.

"Lord Hiashi hasn't told you yet?" Suzume asked in a suddenly low tone, hushed as if she didn't want anyone else to hear. When Hinata nodded, she glanced around for a second, her eyes flitting cautiously towards the door, before landing back on Hinata. "Well...it doesn't hurt to know but...the last time they had a Aburame-Inuzuka-Hyuuga team was with-"

They suddenly heard the tatami door wiggle a bit and abruptly stopped talking, waiting for the person to reveal themselves.

“Lord Hiashi,” all the women in the kitchen said in unison as they bowed, and Hinata turned around towards the tatami door, a tall man in a deep blue yukata and a darker grey jacket standing between the frame. 

Her father had his usual stoic face, his eyebrows naturally arched to look like he was frowning most of the times and his mouth in a straight line. He gave an acknowledged bow to Hinata’s grandmother, his mother, before looking over to Hinata.

“G-good morning, Father,” Hinata quickly whispered with a slight bow of her head, gripping the sides of her lunch box. Hiashi stared at Hinata for a moment, as if analyzing what he saw, trying to pick out any sort of flaw in how she appeared.

“Today is your final test, is it not?” Hiashi asked in an even tone, never breaking eye contact from Hinata, who glanced away towards the lines of the floorboard. “Why are you still here? And look at me when I speak to you.”

“Yes!” she squeaked at how much sharper his tone became, and straightened her gaze. “I just had more time left so...so I thought I could take my time today.”

Hiashi narrowed his eyes.

“ Heedfulness is the path to the Deathless. Heedlessness is the path to death. The heedful do not die. The heedless are as if already dead* .” Hiashi quoted the proverb from ancient scriptures without missing a beat, and Hinata could see the frown lines deepening on his tanned face. “If you were going to mindlessly be on the compound this whole time, then you could have been practicing your forms. Your sister has already mastered all of the basic forms; you have yet to perform them efficiently.”

“I-I,” Hinata started, now feeling her neck burning in embarrassment of being put on the spot in this way, but she couldn’t finish her sentence, feeling the heat rising to her face.

“Mother,” Hiashi turned his attention towards her grandmother, who had simply been keeping her mouth closed as Hiashi gave Hinata the third degree. “Hinata is grown and she can make her own meals. You’re spoiling her by making her lunch.”

“Hiashi,” Homura said with a slight hum to her voice, soft and slow, as she started to sway lightly on the chair. "If you believe this to be true, then you should make your own tempura from now on, do you not think so?"

To this, Hiashi eyes slightly widened in hesitation for only a split second, but he quickly fixed himself back to neutrality. Hinata had to stifle her laugh, and she looked down to hide the amused smile she couldn't suppress.

Leave it to Homura to be as eloquently blunt as her son.

"That is not the same," Hiashi replied coolly. "The food you make is for the entire family."

"Tempura is usually reserved for dinners," Homura said as equally calm. "But you still insist on eating it for breakfast as well. You should eat better; you're a grown man."

Hinata could see her father's jaws clenching, muscle along his jawline flexing- being told off by one's mother in front of an audience was not on the top of every clan leader's to do lists.

"Hinata." His eyes returned to her, and she quickly kept her lips in a line. "It is best if you left for your test. You don't want to keep your team waiting for you."

I didn't even eat breakfast,  Hinata thought, but refused to say this outloud. She didn't want to be scolded anymore than she needed to be. "Yes."

“Do not be a burden to your teammate,” Hiashi said courtly, before stepping aside to let Hinata walk through the open doorway. 

Hinata gritted her teeth, feeling her throat suddenly lodged with emotion, but she kept it to herself. She nodded, and quickly exited the kitchen, giving a quick bow to her grandmother before she made her way towards the courtyard to leave the compound.

I won’t burden anyone,  Hinata thought as she inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying her best to maintain her confidence, but she could already feel the tips of her eyes started to sting with tears.  I promise, I won’t burden anyone.

----

When Hinata made it to the top of the Hokage Rock, she was surprised to see that Shino was the only one there, waiting underneath a tree. She glanced up to the sky, the morning sun bearing white in the east slightly above the horizon. It was nearly time for their test, she could tell, but where could their sensei and Kiba be?

She wasn't sure where Shino was looking at, his dark frames shading his eyes from anyone to see, but from the way his face tilted down, she could tell she was looking at the ground with intent. 

Should I call out to him?  She thought, ready to raise her hand to wave towards him, but hesitated slightly.  No, he looks busy...I don't want to disturb him. But, then again, I should ask him where everyone else is...

Hinata continued this debate on whether she should call out to Shino or walk up to him as she crossed clearing, but she wasn't given the opportunity to think it through. All of the sudden, she heard a high pitched bark becoming louder from the trail she just walked on, and a voice yelling, "Akamaru! Wait up buddy!"

She knew who it was immediately, and spun on her heels to look behind her. Unfortunately, she was not prepared for the small flash of white coming towards her at full speed, already a metre away from her.

Hinata didn't have time to react, and she wasn't sure whether she could or not- by the time she blinked, the flash of white had jumped up towards her and hit her chest, pushing her backwards and making her land on her behind, before laying flat on her back.

Talk about a double whammy. This is the second time she was sent flying onto her back. Her tailbone was starting to hurt a bit. It didn't help that she had her backpack on during the fall, and had placed her bento box inside, making the impact harder against her lower back when she fell, the side of the bento box digging into her sharply.

Hinata blacked out for a few seconds, eyes closed in shock and her ears momentarily blanking. When she slowly opened her eyes, she was greeted by a little brown nose against hers and the sound of slight panting.

Her eyes started to take in everything beyond the nose, seeing it attached to a white puppy with long, floppy ears and small, brown eyes that looked at her with excitement. The puppy barked at her once, and she could feel a  thump thump thump  on her abdomen, his tail wagging happily.

"H-hello...Akamaru," Hinata managed to say in a soft voice, remembering the puppy's name from how Kiba had introduced him as yesterday. This only made Akamaru even more excited because he barked a few times and his tail wagged faster, before he gave Hinata's cheek a little lick.

Hinata could feel her heart soar at this little gesture by the puppy. Is this what feeling wanted is like?

"Akamaru!" Kiba's voice exclaimed as he ran up towards Hinata, who was still being licked by the puppy. "Get off of her! Sit!"

Akamaru did as he was told with a slight whine, and hopped off of Hinata's chest, sitting down beside her as he looked expectantly at Kiba. Hinata managed to prop herself up with her elbows, lifting her back up into a sitting position. She glanced up to see Kiba standing near her feet, both hands on his hips as he gave Akamaru a disapproving look.

Hinata could feel her heart start beating fast while looking at her now teammate; he was much more intimidating from where she was sitting, narrow eyes shifting around with a frown on his face. Kiba had always scared her slightly, with his red markings making him look like a warrior on his way to a battleground, and the way his eyebrows, sharp and fierce, made his narrow eyes look even more piercing. She was half ready to apologize, but then she saw his frown disappear as he softened his look, now looking at Hinata with...was it concern?

"Sorry about that," Kiba said, almost in a mumble, and Hinata could see that his cheeks flushed pink suddenly, as if embarrassed. "I swear, he's usually better behaved than this."

"It's okay," Hinata replied softly, and Akamaru barked at Hinata, taking a step closer.

 "What d'ya think you were doing, Akamaru?" Kiba looked at Akamaru with a stern look, his arms crossing over, eyebrows pulled in. The puppy stopped in his tracks and looked up to his owner, his dog wagging in the air.

"Arf! Arf!"

"So what? You could've hurt Hinata!"

"Arf! Arf, arf, arf!"

"I don't want to hear it," Kiba huffed. "Now sit and think about what you did! You're not getting any treats until you obey!"

Akamaru let out a whining sound, his happy demeanor dropping as his tail stopped wagging, his eyes looking back at Kiba big and glistening in woe. When Kiba raised an eyebrow at Akamaru, waiting for the puppy to continue, Akamaru stopped his attempt at persuading Kiba to let him be and he laid down on his stomach sadly, a whine emitting from his throat.

"...you need a hand?" Kiba asked after a moment when Akamaru settled down. 

Hinata, meanwhile, was preoccupied staring between him and Akamaru in awe, watching them have a conversation she couldn't understand, only going by Kiba's words. What kind of technique helped you communicate with animals? She knew about shinobi being able to summon animals for their services, forming a blood pact between the master and the animal, but she often heard of summoning animals being able to speak in their tongue.

When she noticed Kiba's hand reaching out towards her, she looked at him for a split second, feeling less intimidated by her new teammate. Should she accept his aid?

I won't be a burden,  she reminded herself, while shaking her head lightly.  I won't be coddled.

"N-no," she said quickly, her inflection making her voice crack, and she stood up, brushing her behind while doing so. She added in a much more normal rhythm, "Thank you, t-though."

"Hinata, are you hurt?" a low, monotone voice suddenly said behind her. She nearly jumped by how close the voice, low and soft, was, but she stopped herself from doing so upon recognition, and turned around towards the source.

"I-I'm not," Hinata said with a slight smile, tilting her head up to look at Shino, him being taller than she, even with her sandals. She placed her arms slightly in front of her, refraining from showing any signs of pain from her back. "I'm fine."

Shino stood by with his hands in his coat pocket, half his face still being hidden the collar, not saying anything for a moment. Hinata couldn't tell where he was looking, but from the way his arched eyebrows pulled in slightly, she assumed she was looking at Kiba. He softened his face again quickly, as if realising that they were staring at him.

"Did something break in your bag?" Shino asked smoothly, without moving whatsoever. He paused again for a split second, before continuing, "Because I heard a crack when you fell."

"Oh!" Hinata exclaimed in a light voice, swinging her bag around in front of her quickly, remembering her poor bento box that she had inside. She opened her bag and peered inside and…

"Oh no," Hinata moaned as she looked at what was supposed to be her lunch.  The rice, vegetables, everything was outside of the bento box, scattered everywhere and she could see the box has a slight fissure along the side, likely due to her landing. 

"My l-lunch," Hinata mumbled, and she could feel her stomach churn at the sight of food being spoiled. She really should have eaten something before leaving.

Shino leaned over slightly, head barely moving downwards but Hinata could tell he was looking into her bag. He stood there motionless for a moment, before tilting his head slightly on the side, looking beyond Hinata. 

"Can't you keep your dog on a leash?" Shino said suddenly, his voice low and a bit forceful, inflecting slightly at the end as if unsure how to end the sentence.

Hinata could feel a shift in the atmosphere amongst them at Shino's words, and she stared at him wide eyes before looking over at Kiba. Kiba stared at him for a split second, eyes blinking at Shino, before his eyebrows pulled in quickly, jaw clenching, when their teammate's words were finally processed in their minds.

"What did you say?"

"I said 'can't you keep your dog on a leash'," Shino repeated in an equal tone. The atmosphere was tense as they stared at each other, and Hinata took a slight step back, not wanting to be caught in between, fidgeting with her fingers slightly.

"His name is  Akamaru,  " Kiba replied sharply, his words punctuated with a slightly louder tone, and Hinata could see the flame of anger spark in his eyes as he glared at Shino. "And  Akamaru  isn't some  pet  I can put on a leash. Like how  you  don't put your bugs in a  container ."

"We're talking about Akamaru, not my insects," Shino replied stiffly. "Maybe you should train him to listen to you more before using him on our mission. Because it looks like he doesn't even obey simple commands."

"Arf!" Akamaru barked lightly, looking between the two of them, but Kiba ignored him.

"She said she was fine, didn't she? It wasn't like he was attacking her- and besides, you don't need to tell me what I should do with  my ninken!"

They had an important test that would determine whether they could become Shinobi, why were they having an argument at this very moment?

Hinata wasn't sure what to do with herself at that moment, finding herself hesitating to even look at either of the boys, fearing they might explode into an altercation if she dared to see. Should she stop them from arguing? How would she even stop them? What if they start getting into a fight? Would she be able to stop them? No way.

She was too weak, too cowardly, no way would she be able to stop a fight. 

"U-uh, guys," Hinata started, but her voice barely came out, a light airy tone that was easily overpowered by Kiba's voice.

"What's your problem with me, huh?" Kiba started, suddenly taking a step forward passing Hinata to stand directly in front of Shino, his fists clenching. "If you got something you want to say about me, then say it to my face!"

"I have nothing to say to you," Shino replied. "I was talking about your dog."

"If you have a problem with  Akamaru  , then you have a problem with  me ," Kiba said, his voice filled with venom as he looked up to Shino, who didn't flinch in the slightest. "Yesterday you had a lot to say- why are you acting all mute now?"

They stood there for a moment, neither of them moving. Akamaru let out a slight whine, and shuffled closer to Hinata's leg, as if seeking some sort of comfort, but she couldn’t move. The pressure in the atmosphere is making her head tense up with adrenaline, and Hinata could feel her forehead starting to scrunch up. She couldn’t activate the Byakugan, not now, no, and she tried to focus by glancing between them, waiting for someone to say something. 

Shino was the first to break the silence.

"If you don't know how to use him, then you shouldn't have brought him today," Shino said slowly and dully, as if talking to a child who didn't understand what he did wrong. "It would only hold us back. This test is important and we can't jeopardize our chances."

Kiba gritted his teeth, and Hinata could see his fists started to clench. 

Oh no. 

Was he going to swing at him? She shifted her legs slightly apart, ready to intervene, but she could barely move otherwise.

Before Kiba could move, the wind started to pick up pace around them, swirling in front of the trio and forcing them to plant their feet on the ground and concentrate on not being blown away. Hinata could see the leaves from the trees nearby creating a sparse tornado as a sudden figure appeared in the middle of the vortex.

“K-Kurenai-sensei,” Hinata mumbled as she watched with wide eyes as the leaves settled around the figure, revealing their long black hair and deep red outfit.

"Looks like everyone came here on time,” Kurenai looked between them with a nonchalant smile. “I was going to give you guys some time together, but it looks like something was happening. Is everything alright?”

Kiba unclenched his fists and placed them in his hoodie pockets, balling them up inside. He gave a dejected, “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

She glanced over to Shino, who didn’t say anything and was looking away from her, before her eyes landed on Hinata. Hinata felt flustered and started to glance away, her nerves getting the best of her as red eyes scanned over her, waiting to see if she had anything to say. 

"Y-yes," Hinata said, still glancing away. "All fine."

"Alright then," Kurenai replied after giving them another questionable look, and she reached into her dress pocket and pulled out what appeared to be a small clock. "Since everyone is here, we can get started with the test. Gather around."

All three of them obeyed and followed Kurenai as she walked towards a wooden picnic table underneath a tree nearby. After leaving their bags on the table, they formed a semi circle around Kurenai, with Hinata standing between Kiba and Shino as Akamaru rejoined his master by his side with a few little bounds off his small paws. It took a good amount of self-restraint for Hinata to not look at the puppy and coo at how cute he looked as he sat down, his tail waving around slowly as he waited for Kurenai to speak.

"Since this is my first time having a Genin team, I decided that this test would be much easier that I had originally planned,” Kurenai started, her gaze resting on them as she spoke. “Your test will be…” 

There was a fraction of pause in her sentence, and Hinata could feel the anticipation in the air as they hung over her every word. What was the test going to be? Are they going to have to prove their worth by winning a match? Would have to fight each other? 

Or worse; would they have to win a fight against Kurenai? 

Hinata gripped a string of her hoodie, her hand already placed over her chest while she was standing and listening to Kurenai talk, and she swallowed. 

“A little game of hide and seek tag," Kurenai said, and Hinata could have sworn there was a flash of amusement on her face. "With a little added twist of capture the flag. Sounds fun, right?"

Hinata glanced over to her teammates, and she could see Kiba shift his eyes around to them as well, apprehensive and wary about her intentions.

"You've played those games before, haven't you?" Kurenai asked with a slight quirk of her fine brow, looking between them as they stared silently back, uncertainty in the atmosphere.

"We have," Shino responded for the group. "As children, though. "

Hinata noticed the slight hesitation in Kurenai at his words, her lips pursing slightly, but it left as quickly as it came. She smiled instead, and continued in a much softer voice, "Then you should already know the rules. But there are a few things I added and changed for this test."

She held a hand up and placed a finger onto the metal plate of her red headband, right beside the Konoha symbol edged deep. She tapped it with the tip of her deep red nails. 

"This headband right here is the flag,” she said in the same tone. “The goal of this test is to get this headband off of my forehead."

Hinata felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety and worry building up in her stomach at Kurenai's words, and her eyebrows refused to relax from the frown. This doesn't sound like a hard task, but considering that this is a Jonin they were facing, only a rank below the Hokage, makes this little task...well...much more difficult than anything they had ever gone through before.

From her ranking, and from what Hinata remembered from the previous day, she knew Kurenai's strongest skill was in the realm of Genjutsu. Genjutsu in itself was such a vast field, limited only by the users' own unbrittled imagination. It is the art of illusion, after all, preying on the senses of your opponents by affecting the specific parts of the brain in order to make them believe that the illusion are true, making them vulnerable to experience things that are not happening in the physical world. Unlike Ninjutsu, though, it was much harder to control, with the user having to be able to control their chakra as well as being able to come up with a way to reach the opponents senses, those being five more extra things to worry about, unlike the other ninja arts. 

The expanse of Genjutsu was not taught during their Academy years, instead focusing on Ninjutsu and Taijutsu to prepare them as shinobi. The only Genjutsu they had to learn was the Clone Illusion Jutsu, but even that D-level jutsu was incredibly hard to master, taking many a year to make at least one competent clone illusion. 

Even Iruka rarely employed that technique during the mock battles he would have with another teacher, opting for the easier Ninjustu,  Clone Jutsu , telling them that clones are better used to distract the enemy and less taxing for them to control.

"Okay," Kiba replied slowly, eyebrows furrowing slightly. "What's the hide and seek part for?"

“That’s the fun part," Kurenai replied. “Like a usual game of hide and seek, I'll hide around the Village with the flag, and you three would have to find me in order to capture the flag. I’ve decided to make it easier, though, since this is the first time I’m doing this test. The only places I’ll hide is on the Hokage Rock or the training grounds. Nowhere else in the Village."

A game of capture the flag that required them to find the flag in a pretty expanded area ...

This was definitely not an easy task, but it was definitely not a hard one. They’ve played these kind of games in the Academy, in the form of a treasure hunt in the middle of one of their training grounds in order to utilize their survival skills for a few hours, but it was limited to a certain area and one target. That, and they usually had a much more obvious trail to lead them on the right path. 

It was clear to Hinata as why Kurenai set up the test in the way she did. She must have read their datasheets when they were first assigned to her: with Kiba hailing from the Inuzuka clan and having a keen sense of smell, and Hinata having the Byakugan that allowed her heightened sight, this test was to see how they would do in tracking a target. Hinata wasn’t sure exactly how Shino fit into the team, but she knew he was extremely perceptive, more so than she was, even without her clan’s abilities.

Hinata felt like she should have an advantage for this task, with her Byakugan and all, but she still had an immature grasp of the skill. It was taxing to control, and took up a good amount of her strength to maintain; even with all those years of training, she couldn’t understand how to control it efficiently.

And that’s what worries her the most.

She should have an advantage, but this advantage was easily be a disadvantage.

"That's it?" Kiba said, a smirk growing on his face. "That makes this too easy!"

"There’s three extra rules, though,” Kurenai added as she smiled at Kiba's enthusiasm, as she held up the clock. “The first one is the time limit. I’m only giving you exactly five hours from when we start to find me. I’ll leave the timer here.”

“Would that be wise?’ Shino suddenly asked. Hinata looked at him questionably, as did everyone else, and it took him a minute to continue his though. “It’s possible that one of us could change the clock, and give us the advantage of having extra time."

“Good point Shino, but this is mostly for you three,” Kurenai said. “I don’t need a clock to tell time. Besides, if one of you touch this clock, it would self implode. You could try it yourselves if you don’t believe me though.”

Hinata gulped as she stared at the clock in her hand as it sat on the table. No way is she going anywhere near that.

“This leads me to the second rule. If none of you get the headband before the designated five hours, then you  all  will fail the test and be sent back to the Academy.”

That made sense. This was like a final exam, it made sense for her to be this strict on them.

"The last thing is the most crucial part, so listen carefully," Kurenai continued. "The reason why the Academy decided to put you in a team because each of you possessed the abilities to become impeccable trackers.”

"But after meeting all of you yesterday, I gave it some thought," she said slowly. "I figured that there's no point in having all three of you become Genin when we could use the person with the  best  tracking skills so far. Therefore, the first person to find me and capture the flag will become a Genin. The other two will return to the Academy."

“Wha-” Hinata muttered in shock, taken aback by her words, her fist clenching tighter on her chest.

"Are you even allowed to do that?" Kiba asked. "There must have been a reason to put us all together like this!"

"Yes, there must have been. But at the end of the day,  I'm  the one who has to teach and guide you to becoming a remarkable shinobi during your time as a Genin," Kurenai emphasized. "The Academy doesn't have control over who passes here on out- but I do. And I have decided that whoever is the most capable gets to be Genin."

That’s not fair,  Hinata wanted to say, but she held her tongue, realizing the stupidity in her thought. The ninja world is never fair to begin with; so why would this testing be?

"Remember you only have 5 hours," Kurenai said as she hit the button on the clock. The clock hand started to tick, and Hinata instinctively took a shuriken from the blue holster around her leg, readying herself. “Do you have any more questions?’

"Do we need to give you time to hide or-" Kiba started, his question tapering off as he took a stance, readying himself for Kurenai to move. Hinata’s eyes never left her sensei, who simply smiled at them.

"There's no need," she said as the wind suddenly picked up pace around her, the grass around her twirling at a rapid pace. "The real me is hiding already. This…"

Hinata’s eyes widened as Kurenai’s legs started to blend into the background, fading away and being replaced by pink petals. Her body morphed against the gradience, rising up to her body as more petals fell, as she watched in amusement with how taken aback they were.

"Was all a genjutsu."

Her face faded as an echo in their minds, and the wind stood still as the last petal from the top of her head fell to the ground on top of the rest. The three of them stood still, none of them knowing what to do for a split second. 

Shino was the first to move, taking a step forward towards the stacks of flower petals.

“Hey, wait,” Kiba started as Shino squatted down, holding one of the petals between his thumb and index finger, carefully surveying. “What are you doing?”

“Checking if this is real or not,” Shino said. “It could be useful to track her down.”

“Whoa, don’t hog the whole thing to yourself!” Kiba exclaimed as he ran towards Shino, Akamaru barking as he ran behind Kiba. 

Hinata snapped out of her faze and found control over her feet, trailing behind Shino, unsure of what to do.

“You got her scent?” Kiba asked Akamaru, who let out a bark. Hinata could see Kiba’s nose move a bit as he inhaled sharply, moving his head around until he set towards east to where they were standing facing the other side of Konoha. “Alright. We got this. Let’s go Akamaru!”

“Hold on,” Shino said suddenly, making Kiba halt in his spot, and turn around quickly. 

“There’s no ‘hold on’,” Kiba said, crossing his arms as he frowned. “This is a test and only one of us can pass.”

“That’s why I said hold on,” Shino continued. “There’s something weird about it.”

“And?” The Inuzuka asked sharply, his patience running thinner by the second. “What about it.”

“Listen,” Shino replied equally as fast. “It’s weird because her reasoning for only passing one of us is incredibly vague. Don’t you find it strange that they would go through the trouble of putting us in specific teams only for one of us to pass?”

Kiba grimaced, staring at Shino for moment, as if conflicted with his words. He then replied, slight hesitancy in his voice,“It...It doesn’t matter who I’m with. Even if I weren’t with you guys, I’m pretty sure the rules would be the same.”

Hinata felt a slight pang in her chest when he said those words, the bitterness seeping through like tea through a filter. She had to grit her teeth to refrain from being too hurt.

 “Besides, she said it herself,” he continued as he started to turn his back towards them. “She’s in charge of us. There’s nothing stopping her from booting us back to the Academy. And there’s no way I’m going back there.”

“Kiba,” Hinata tried to start, but she couldn’t finish her sentence. She didn’t know what to say. 

An uneasy silence fell over them.

“She’s headed towards Training Ground 1,” Kiba suddenly said in a quiet tone, never turning back to look at them. He tilted his head down, and said “Let’s go, Akamaru.”

With a bark of agreement from the puppy, he sped off at full speed, towards the direction of the training ground he mentioned, the one closest to the Hokage Rock and filled with hills and forest near the wall that encompasses Konoha. 

That’s one of the larger ones , Hinata thought, as she stood there, trying to gather her thoughts. She could see from the corner of her eyes Shino looking at her, not saying anything, as if waiting for her to move. 

Her gut was telling her the same thing that Shino was doubting; the reason for only one of them felt too vague, as if Kurenai wanted them to break that rule. Sure, they all have skills for tracking, but there’s something more to it than that.

But no, that wouldn’t make sense; she was very clear that she only wanted one. Why would she deceive them into believing a fake rule? Was Hinata thinking too hard into this?  

“He’s right,” Hinata said when she made her decision, and she glanced up towards Shino. She looked directly at his glasses, dark enough to cover his eyes under the sun in the atmosphere, and maintained. “Even if we all work together, only one of us can pass.”

“Hinata-” Shino started, but stopped abruptly. He just stared at her in silence for a moment, and Hinata couldn’t tell what he was thinking, or even why she was standing there to begin with.

“I’ll see you there, Shino,” Hinata offered softly, and she started to run off towards the direction, focusing her chakra towards her legs to help them pick up her pace.

I won’t be a burden to myself, Hinata thought, a new sense of determination swelling in her stomach.  I can take care of myself.

Can I?

[lucyoftheabyss48]

Top 6 Spring 2020 Anime to Watch

I was going to make this a Top 10, but it got way too long, so I cut it to 6. (Also above pic is from BNA)

Anyway, these are the Top 6 Spring 2020 Anime that I personally think will be worth watching. For all of these included in the list, I have watched at least the first episode. But of course, this list will be very biased, because my beloved Studio Trigger finally has another show again.

I won’t be including sequels (but I’m watching Fruits Basket S2, Ascendance of a Bookworm S2, and I’m trying to catch up on Kaguya-sama and Tsugumomo)

Let’s start from Number 6. May contain vague spoilers for the first episodes of these shows. More below!

6. Gal to Kyouryuu

This one looks like trash. I know. I know, but give it a chance. Maybe all you’ll get out of it is its comedy and strangeness, and its wacky live action second half. But just let me tell you the best part of this show, and why it’s so high on my list.

First, a quick summary. A gyaru (gal) girl takes in a dinosaur that she found one day, and they spend their time just living life together. That’s it.

That is it, but I think there’s more to it than just that. This gal girl, Kaede, from what I can tell, has just been going through the motions in life. She felt bored and uninspired and unmotivated. Her life was just work, and whatever fun things she could find to fill up her free time.

But when she brings in the dinosaur, despite her many complaints, she still cares for him and thinks of him and is considerate towards him. And for her to have someone by her side, and looking to her as a companion to face life together, side by side, creates a little more fun and a little more motivation in her own life.

This isn’t a deep show or anything. I don’t think there’s some dark hidden message, unless you want to look at it that way. It’s a sweet little show about the relationship between two lost and lonely people, finding their way in life together. One of them just happens to be a cute dinosaur.

Which amazingly, no one seems to question. I think that’s great, because it just cuts out that whole obstacle of others coming to terms with the dinosaur’s existence, and goes straight to him as just an individual character, and his relationship with Kaede.

It’s just really sweet, I can’t say this enough. It might be a little subtle. But just watch out for the things that Kaede does for the dinosaur, like how she seriously thinks about what she can do to help him. I also think the dinosaur definitely helps Kaede let down her guard and be more relaxed about some things. Both their lives are just brighter with each other than without.

(Edit after seeing Episode 2, SPOILERS: Never mind about this not being deep or dark, the ending of Episode 2 has changed my mind!! Please watch it, and let’s discuss theories!!!)

5. Arte

If you’ve read any of my past essays, maybe you’ve found out by now that I live for the dynamic between really great and supportive partnerships. And maybe you’ve also found out by now that most of this list consists of said partnerships. Arte definitely has one too.

So Arte is about a noblewoman who wants to be an artist, but everyone is against that, because she’s a woman, and women at that time don’t become artists. And moreover, she’s a noble, and so she needs to be ladylike and get married so she can continue to live a comfy life.

Basically that’s the premise, and Arte goes about trying to find her path to becoming an artist. She eventually becomes the apprentice of someone we all know: Leonardo da Vinci.

If you like art, if you like history and historical figures (read: if you’re a Fate fan like me), or if you just like a cool and determined female MC, then this is for you. I would say this is comparable to Ascendance of a Bookworm, or the anime movie Miss Hokusai. It’ll probably have equal parts lighthearted comedy and darker seriousness, and plenty of coolness from Arte and Leo both.

4. Gleipnir

I read a good chunk of the manga a year or two before this came out, so I’ve been looking forward to this. The animation in this first episode was really good quality, and it’ll probably only get better from here. The story is basically, one day, our MC Shuichi suddenly gains powers to turn into a big stuffed animal suit. Everyone who has these powers to transform has entered into a big battle royale to the death to collect the most coins.

Shuichi just wants to live a normal life and get rid of this animal form, and Claire wants to find a certain someone (among other things). Shuichi doesn’t want to fight, doesn’t want to kill anyone — but he can’t do nothing because then he’d be killed. And he doesn’t even know yet why he was turned into this monster.

That’s where Claire comes in. She has a goal, but she doesn’t have powers like he does. She’d be killed instantly on her own, just as he would because of his hesitation. Just so you know, she gets it into her head that the best way for them both to live, and get what they both want, is for her to get inside his animal suit form, and control him from the inside.

They’d both die on their own, but together, they can survive.

I think the story is interesting and plenty mysterious. There’s a lot of good stuff to sink your teeth into. But like always, the core of the show, to me, is the dynamic between Shuichi and Claire, and how they both find purpose and motivation because of each other.

Also Shuichi’s VA is the same as Tanjirou. And Ikuto in Runway de Waratte. So that’s a plus.

3. Princess Connect! Re:Dive

So it might be easy to dismiss this as another fantasy adventure harem with the lackluster MC, but I’m going to argue for our mostly silent and robotic protagonist. We find out in the first episode when he wakes up that he lost his memory, so I would say that that’s the reason why he’s pretty emotionless. So as he interacts more with Kokkoro, and learns more about the world from her, he becomes more expressive.

I think the best example of this is his last line at the end of the first episode, which sounded a little more emotional and personal than any lines he’d said earlier.

On another note, the animation is top notch — way, way too excessively pretty and beautiful and detailed, but I ain’t complaining. The grass. The grass. Watch it, and you’ll see what I mean. And the lighting. The lighting.

The action animation and comedy both are pretty reminiscent of Konosuba. A certain character’s finishing move is pretty similar to Explosion. And like Konosuba, a lot of the appeal of this show will probably be the female characters, their wild personalities, and all the shenanigans they get into.

But also like Konosuba, there’s a small, hidden sweet side sprinkled throughout, in how their ragtag group finds friendship and companionship with each other, when they couldn’t find it elsewhere. If you look at it that way, I think this show can be sweet and deep in its own way.

2. Tower of God

This is a big one that I know lots of people have been looking forward to, as it’s an adaptation of a popular Webtoon. I haven’t read the webtoon yet, but I will eventually. I’ll just say that first, the art and animation here is really, really good. In particular, the scenery and background art is amazing, and really creates the whole atmosphere. A single change in background can change the mood in a second. You’ll see what I mean immediately in the first scene with the big door. Or a little later on with the blood splatter.

The animation of the movement in action scenes is smooth and fluid, no problems there. The art style may take some time to get used to for some people who may not like it, but it’s personally just the kind I like. Honestly it reminds me of a Shaft work. So if you like the Monogatari series, the use of art style and background art here gives a similar vibe, or at least I think so.

As for the story, it starts with Bam getting separated from Rachel, and he starts his journey to climb a tower so he can meet her again. We get pretty much no reason for why she left yet, but I think we’re in for something really good with this story.

(I’m planning on making a separate analysis essay entirely on a certain scene in the first episode, so look forward to that.)

1. BNA

Brand New Animal. Trigger’s latest work, the last few being SSSS Gridman and Darling in the Franxx, and their first movie, Promare. I am a huge Trigger fan, and I’ve been excited for this one for a while.

Our MC, Michiru, is a human, but she suddenly gets turned into a tanuki person. She seeks refuge in Anima City, because (surprise!) the humans don’t like the animal people. But not everything is as it seems in Anima City, and she teams up with the wolf person, Ogami Shiro, to find answers — thus getting caught up in something way bigger and stranger than she ever expected.

First off, if you’ve been missing the crazy and cartoonish animation from Trigger’s earlier stuff, then you’re in for a treat. This has an undeniable Kill la Kill vibe, but with Promare’s amazing popping colors and backgrounds.

If you want to say it’s another animal show, like Beastars and Zootopia, go ahead. Let’s just get that out of the way.

Moving on, Michiru escapes to Anima City, expecting it to be a place where all the animal people can live freely and be themselves. But it turned out to be a free-for-all, strongest wins type of society, where animal people are quick to betray their own kind for their own personal gain. And even side with the humans who discriminated them in the first place.

Michiru’s character will probably be a hit or miss for most people. Some might find her annoying, others charming and endearing. I like her, as I tend to like these types of characters.

But I think what’s great, is that she gets challenged. Her ideas and beliefs about both the animal people and humans are put to the test, and her suddenly becoming an animal person herself means that she’s in a unique position of being able to understand both sides. But she’s also still an outsider, and she finds that maybe neither side was really quite like what she once believed. And so, her place in either side of society will come into question for her. There’s a lot to dig into here, and I’ll probably make separate posts for BNA alone later on.

If you like Trigger, watch it. It’s probably more of a mix between Gridman and Promare than it is Kill la Kill, despite sharing many animation similarities (even a certain sports match that’s basically torn right out of Kill la Kill). If you want something that’s a little more different and subtle and intriguing than their usual works, then this is for you. If you liked Beastars, give this one a try too.

Some Extras

--that I wanted to add to this list, but I’ll just briefly put them here so this post doesn’t get any longer:

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

Shironeko Project: Zero Chronicle

Listeners

If there’s more you think I missed, feel free to put ‘em in the replies!

Upcoming Essays:

Analysis on Orb Scene in Tower of God Episode 1

Navigating the numerous Fantasy-Adventure genre anime of the Spring 2020 Season

Various BNA essays (I’ve seen episodes 1-6 already, will be tagged for spoilers)

Gal to Kyouryuu Theories

Maybe something Fate related, it’s my recent obsession

[electronicbeardheart-blog1]

Achieving Total Health and Balance - Five Basic Principals to Reaching Your Goals

The body is a wonderful and dynamic organism that constantly seeks balance. Even if we have found balance in one moment, the next moment can bring with it the need to balance ourselves again sugar balance supplement reviews. This is what I consider the gift of being alive: the joy of being in a physical body.

In seeking balance, I have found that both ancient and modern systems of healing and nutrition have equal value. This has allowed me to create an inclusive approach that draws on the wisdom of many traditions without being attached to a single path. These five principles are a distillation of various healing disciplines that can be used to find solutions to create optimal health.

1. Yin / Yang balance

This is based on the concept of yin and yang, the opposing forces described in ancient Asian traditions. Everything in the world has some properties of yin and yang, but in varying proportions.

Yin energy is light, expansive, watery, soft, receptive, cold, and plant-like in nature. Yang energy is heavy, contracted, dry, hard, active, hot, and more animal. The terms expansive and contractive can be used to explain the yin and yang energy of the food we eat.

Some foods, like sugar and alcohol, are examples of foods that are too expansive for your body. Your bloodstream quickly absorbs sugar and produces energy, making you feel temporarily open and relaxed. The problem is that these foods are harmful because they are not balanced.

Other foods, such as excessive and poor-quality salt and animal products, are more contractile, causing cells to contract and lose fluids, making you feel tight. They can be especially contractive when eaten without expansive fresh vegetables.

Because your body is always looking for balance, if you eat too much salt, your body becomes too tight and you will soon find yourself craving something sweet. When this principle is not consciously understood, it can unknowingly create an imbalance in a vicious cycle of cravings.

Each individual can tolerate a small level of extreme foods in the diet, but if these foods become an everyday occurrence, the yo-yo diet is in effect. The yo-yo diet is a grueling process where you move from extreme to extreme as your body frantically tries to maintain balance.

Ideally, find a diet that can bring you closer to the center. The less you expose your body to extremes, the more time you will have in a balanced state. A state devoid of cravings and blood sugar swings. Eating less processed foods and more whole, organic foods is a great place to start connecting with true health.

2. Acid versus alkaline

To maintain health, your blood must be slightly alkaline. The food we eat and the lifestyle choices we make affect our body's ability to maintain that alkaline state.

Food can be alkaline, acidic, or neutral in your body. For optimal health, your goal would be to have a balance of alkaline and acidic foods so that you can maintain the alkaline state of your blood. If it becomes unbalanced and your blood becomes too acidic, it becomes more susceptible to disease and illness.

Additionally, lifestyle choices such as stress, inadequate water intake, prescription drug intake, low mineral intake, and not getting enough sleep can lead to acidic blood. Paying attention to a balanced lifestyle is equally important to your health and longevity.

Most people are overly acidic and should aim to include as many vegetables as possible at every meal and snack, as most vegetables (especially raw ones) are highly alkaline. Make sure to drink purified water throughout the day, manage stress, and give your body plenty of time to sleep (7-9 hours per night on average).

3. Bioindividuality

As human beings, we share so many similarities with each other, but each body is unique. Each of us is an experiment of one and consequently you may need to modify certain elements of any diet or lifestyle to suit your own individuality. It is important to start really listening to your body and what it wants. But remember that if your yin / yang balance is out of balance, cravings can fool you!

While a healthcare professional may recommend a specific protocol to restore balance in the body, it is vital to observe your body's reactions and assess whether this new path is bringing you back into balance. The best way I've found to do this is to keep a food mood log where you can keep track of how food affects your mood and vice versa.

4. Cleaning

Did you know that your body cleans itself every day? Through elimination, urine, tears, and sweat, your body gets rid of toxins that would otherwise build up and lead to illness. Fevers, colds and rashes are actually a natural part of the cleansing process and should not be suppressed. Cleansing allows your body to regain balance and occurs when the imbalance is so great that it is life threatening.

If you start a cleansing program, you may experience cleansing reactions and feel worse than you do now. Don't throw in the towel - this is your body's way of getting rid of the bad and making room for the good. Just make sure you drink plenty of water and get enough rest when you need it. It is important to support all channels of elimination for a complete and effective cleaning experience. Often times when you have an intensely negative experience, the cleanser has focused on just one or two things.

To properly and safely cleanse the body, it is best to seek the help of a qualified health and nutrition counselor.

5. Small changes over time

Just as it takes time to lose balance, it also takes time to regain balance. You can't expect instant results when you work toward lasting change. By making small, consistent changes over time, you give your body the foundation it needs to maintain optimal long-term health and vitality.

Starting any new program is about creating new habits. It takes time and effort, which can be difficult at times.

The key is to take everything step by step and get support. Incorporate one principle (or even one element of a principle) at a time so you don't feel overwhelmed. Take care of yourself by going at a pace that feels right for you and keep listening to your body. As small as that step may seem, I encourage you to take it today!

[k-s-morgan]

Hello! I first followed you for Hannigram but your fic single handedly dragged me into Sebaciel hell ( pun intended ) and by reading your asks about Kuro religiously I've wanted to ask about your view on Ciel's darkness, particulalry pre-contract. Most fans, even anime only fans, tend to consider it a result of his traumatic experience, not necessarily something that existed before then - small or bigger measure. And if he and Sebastian hadn't met like they did, how do you think said darkness could have come out?

Haha, I'm so pleased to hear this! I believe Hannigram was exactly the reason that attracted my attention to Black Butler. In many ways, Ciel and Sebastian are Murder Husbands: I think someone recced them to me as a duo with a similar dark dynamic. I watched a few fan edits, something like this one, with Ciel's backstory & him and Sebastian building their empire, and this one, with their dynamic as a whole, and was intrigued enough to try it. And here I am years later, just as hopelessly in love.

While the anime seems to portray Ciel as strictly naive and light before the contract, I don't share this view, and it's a good thing that there is space for all possible headcanons. I'm not a fan of thinking the captivity and trauma gave him a total personality switch. I think there was always some darkness and cruelty in him; he was always manipulative and calculating, though obviously, in pretty childish ways. In fact, this topic is going to be brought up in the next chapter: Sebastian is going to learn that Ciel was never particularly innocent and did some very questionable things even before their contract. I thought it'd be fun to come up with a more specific and darkish reason for hostility Elisabeth's brother Edward shows to Ciel.

If Ciel and Sebastian never met, I think Ciel would still thrive in the underworld. His father would have to pass the reins to him at some point, and Ciel would become pretty ruthless and intimidating, although his taste for darkness would never be colored with the personal desire for vengeance. I imagine him being more carefree, happier, less restricted and rigid, maybe a little less smart because canon Ciel feels a strong need to keep up with Sebastian and pushes himself above and beyond his limits. Still, he'd be impressive, a force to be reckoned with. He'd enjoy getting rid of his enemies, scheming and playing games, expanding his reach and intimidating the entire underworld.

I think Sebastian would feel equally drawn to this version of him. There is something unique and special in Ciel that I think was always a part of him: he can be sadistic and he can delight in darkness, but he also has his sense of justice. Whenever they met, Ciel and Sebastian would be captivated and pulled into their deadly relationship one way or another.

[magaprima]

Part 2 Episode 3 Thoughts (5/5)

When Sabrina and Nick are sealing the doors and banishing his familiar, and Lilith appears behind them and says ‘Ms Spellman. Mr Scratch, I presume. May I see you in my office?’, it’s one of the moments, like in the sports hall, where she looks genuinely like the teacher. Like when she first took on the role of Ms Wardwell, she was so fake, she looked so unnatural in the role, in the office, it was clear she was trying to blend and failing miserably and didn’t know what the hell to do to be a mortal school teacher. But by this point, she’s been there several months and you can just tell. She acts so natural in the role, she is the Principal here. Even the way she has come over to the two of them, and you can see the other students watching, she looks like a teacher who is being the dance chaperone and has followed two students making trouble in the halls. Despite resenting being made to stay in this role, she’s excelling at it.

Also the fact that there are students behind her looking on, you get the vibe Sabrina and Nick’s whole chaotic moment with the werewolf has been noticed, and that is entirely the reason Lilith has left the dance. She’s actually legitmately doing the job of limiting witch damage control, and both Nick and Sabrina look so sheepish at being caught. This whole scene is such a small moment but I love it. Especially Lilith’s polite teacher smile at the end that says there’s no option to refuse; they have to got to her office. 

Then we cut to her office and Nick pacing and ranting, but the whole camera angle and the way Lilith is stood behind the giant leather chair behind her giant desk, gives all foreshadowing for the fact she will become Queen. She looks like a woman stood at her throne while her subjects speak. I do love a  bit of cinematographic foreshadowing. 

The way Lilith is subtly nodding at Nick’s whole retelling, and there’s a lot of eye flickers to the side as if she’s thinking about something, I think could imply that the cougar story she tells is true, even if the whole ‘my former high priest’ isn’t. I genuinely feel Lilith has seen something that makes her think Nick’s story is not a surprise or even unique. Or possibly it’s her previous experience with Stolas that she’s thinking of; his constant prodding at her, making her doubt herself, questioning things...either way, Lilith definitely has experiences, either personally or by association, that made Nick’s story unsurprising for her. Which makes me wonder; familiars are meant to be loyal entirely to their witch, but Nick’s familiar goes against his wishes, and Stolas fully betrays Lilith, so how loyal are really. Is the reason Sabrina has such a bond with Salem because her calling for him was about equals; they’re meant to be loyal to each other. It’s not a one way street.

Also the way Nick tells the story to Lilith too, the way he leans forward, speaking directly to her, he clearly trusts her just as Sabrina does. Whether Lilith likes it or not, whether she realises it or not, the woman clearly gives off a mentor vibe that means all these young folk keep running to her, even the mortal ones. 

But back to the cougar story, and my belief that it’s a genuine story Lilith is telling and not a fabrication. The way she adds ‘a cougar’ as an after-thought, it’s too certain, too well-remembered. It’s not like she’s said ‘oh someone had a wolf familiar’ or, ‘I remember someone having a girlfriend and their familiar didn’t like it’, she hasn’t just plucked things out of the air (such as she did when she was explaining to Sabrina why she’d been spying on her in the Exorcism episode). This is more confident, sure, no back-pedalling. I fully believe the cougar thing happened to someone Lilith knew....but who? Perhaps he was genuinely a High Priest, even if not her High Priest as she claims? Or maybe a warlock she knew centuries ago? I just feel this is a hint that Lilith has known other people intimately besides the Dark Lord and before her time in Greendale, but yet again they were lost to her. Maybe the friend was the High Priest’s wife? Or was Lilith the one who set the wheels in motion for it to happen? Because she doesn’t exactly speak with upset about it. Was this another task the Dark Lord set her? Or was it something she did for her own reasons?

I mean she says the familiar was infected in such a way that there’s an emphasis on the word ‘infected’ that makes me suspicious about the cause behind this story, like maybe there was some outer influence. I mean if you can make a love spell you can make a jealousy one....but alas, this is another one of those instances where we get hint of backstory but never learn anymore. 

But when she says ‘rabid with jealousy’ she looks at Sabrina, which reminds us that Lilith does feel jealously towards Sabrina currently, because the Dark Lord wants her to be his Herald. At the end of the previous episode, Lilith literally says ‘I’ll be damned, Stolas, before I let Sabrina become his herald’, so there is a strong jealousy vibe at the moment. Which makes me think when she says ‘You have to put that bitch down’, that Lilith might be thinking about a certain half-witch and her own situation, as we know attacking and killing Sabrina does become an active plan for Lilith briefly in the near future. It’s definitely an oddly vicious thing to say if she was only thinking of Nick and his familiar....

And then we get a totally different, calm, relaxed vibe when she’s back at the cottage with Adam 2.0. We pan through the flames, reminding us of Lilith’s hellish origins even as we see her in this domestic moment. Now in the last episode, Lilith was made to kneel before the Dark Lord and clean his feet, and here someone is doing that for her; Adam 2.0 is massaging her feet, he’s on the floor while she’s in the chair. In this dynamic she isn’t being forced to serve and to kneel, but being pampered and allowed to have the literal higher position. 

“I must admit I never imagined the evening playing out like this”

Lilith literally started her time with Adam 2.0 with planning to kill him and get rid of him quickly and within the space of a few hours, that has totally flipped. Like we have had a total 180 here already, which goes to show, as MG said, Lilith has no defence for kindness and understanding which is all he has shown her in the short time she’s known him. 

However when he asks how she originally saw it ending and she says ‘would you believe me if I said in a mass murder?’, Adam doesn’t laugh like ‘haha yeah right, what a lark, Mary’, he looks up, he tenses, so much so that he squeezes her foot, hurting it. I find this an odd reaction. Why would he react so seriously to ‘Mary’ joking about a mass murder? Is he that much of a goody-goody that even joking about murder makes him tense? Or is it something more than that? Is there more to Mary than meets the eye (I always say it was odd and not safe/professional/etc for her to put off calling the doctor for the girl/Lilith until the morning and taking her back to her cottage. And when Lilith starts speaking with a demonic voice, Mary doesn’t look confused, she looks like ‘oh shit’ and backs away calmly...so I don’t know?)? Or is there more to Adam than meets the eye? I don’t know; it’s one of the two, I feel. 

“A girl could get used to this”

Lilith genuinely means this, she’s even looking at Adam fondly. I think she’s remembering not only what she had asked for from the original Adam, but how it was in the beginning with Lucifer. She’s remembering a gentler, nicer time. A more affectionate time. Before blood and betrayals and abuse. And remember, a part of her is still that girl created in the Garden, that never goes away, no more than Sabrina’s mortal heritage will never go away now that she’s signed the Book, and that part is tempted into this calm normalcy. And it’s the first true respect and affection she’s experienced in millennia. 

She watches Adam intensely as he kisses her feet, and you just know she’s thinking of the reverse, of when she was washing the Dark Lord’s feet, and how that was demanded of her, to humble her. And here Adam is pampering her feet as a way to show his love and affection. It’s the first time ever she’s been receiving and she can’t turn her eyes away. And when he says ‘the Goddess you are’, she really doesn’t take her eyes off him. She’s drawn in, fascinated, and the thought of anyone calling her a Goddess appeals to her so much--

And that’s precisely when Stolas cuts in. He can see what’s happening. He can see the affect the foot massage, the Goddess treatment, is having, that it has the potential to make Lilith question things, remember her own power and question the Dark Lord, and Stolas is the Dark Lord’s lackey and spy...so he breaks the moment.

“I don’t think your bird likes me”

I love that Adam tunes into that easily. It’s what made me wonder if Adam was something more than mere mortal, that he knew more of what was really going on, but as far as we know or have seen in the series so far, he was just a plain, old mortal, who apparently knows when animals don’t like him.

“You never mind Stolas. You just keep doing what you’re doing”

But Lilith ignores her familiar, ignores whatever he said, dismisses Adam’s concerns and returns the focus on her, on the two of them, and as she watches him, you can just see how much this simple act is making Lilith rethink things, considering her position, especially in relation to the Dark Lord as it would be all too easy and tempting for her to start drawing parallels. I think this is the first glimpse of Lilith shifting her perspective a little. 

[ayurvedadefinition-blog]

Exactly what is Ayurveda?

ayurveda definition Ayurveda is any a few, 000 year previous tradition regarding healing that will comes from China. Typically the word is a Sanskrit concept that literally results to "the science or maybe wisdom involving Life".

ayurveda definition

Often the Vedic written word date rear to 3, 000 BC and are tangible information in which medicine did really exist inside ancient times as well as that it was really advanced. The first "plastic" surgical practices are written in relation to as well as different limbs of medicine.

What exactly makes Ayurveda one of a kind?

Ayurveda respects the "uniqueness" connected with each individual. The initially thing that the Ayurvedic Doctor will do is definitely establish your mind and system constitution or prakriti mainly because that will determine typically the path process will acquire. Ayurveda believes this simply no two people are often the same regardless of whether they include the same constitution. Equally patients might have the actual same illness but the particular treatment would be sent in a different technique or maybe a fully several treatment would always be called for.

Ayurveda issues all the levels associated with the specific. That suggests that in Ayurveda all of us consider the Mind, our bodies and the Spirit regarding an unique. Many moments a disease can possibly be inside mind as effectively as the body and also Ayurveda recognizes this when they determine the constitution of individual. Many times the illness will probably culminate throughout the mind plus the head is such a potent matter that the condition will finally manifest with the body and which is identified as disease. Sickness is the lack of "ease". Ease is a wholesome place to be, anyone wants for being at easiness.

Ayurveda offers organic approaches of treating diseases along with promoting health. Because Ayurveda considers the Mind, typically the Body along with the Spirit involving an individual, the idea works on on a natural means of getting. All stuff on this planet possess varying degrees of often the your five elements which are generally space, weather, fire, waters and the planet. Even our own bodies are made right up of these kind of 5 aspects and that is the reason mother nature resonates so very well with our systems. This is also the motive that will synthetic drugs get rid of all their effectiveness after time frame, this is due to they do definitely not have those 5 various features and without they will could not be truly effective within creating health, in a lot of cases they will just guide with the symptoms and perhaps at times will masque these individuals, however that is actually not a cure.

Ayurveda emphasizes prevention. Ayurveda states that we have the actual tools to counteract disease in addition to many of them usually are indoors us. Our figures are huge machines in which act as some sort of kamagra online fast, we have the power to lodge at a status of health by currently being conscious of what we all feed on, our environment, what exactly we see, pick up, style and touch. All these things add to our health although they might also diminish the health as well. It can be natural for humans to stay a state of well being, disorder is not normal and it is surely no comfortable and the item is incredibly preventable.

Ayurveda empowers all people to have responsibility for their unique well-being. Who is each of our health most essential to? All of our health is most essential to our self first and our loved ones as well as the folks who depend about us. Many times many of us feel that our health practitioner searching for at our wellbeing as a company and also it is a enterprise, it's the organization connected with being a Doctor. My partner and i have a tendency mean it will be their particular business, this is a money-making small business. Who do you wish to be responsible regarding your own personal well-being, yours as well as a corporations? Doctors have got their place and that's any time you get sick, and so what that they practice is usually "sickness" and how they can deal having it. When you fit your health in your personal own hands you now have a vested interest and you get zero gain by staying sick. The most beneficial policy is definitely to take the best suited care that you could of your home along with avoid illness. This liability belongs to us, no-one could watch out intended for your health quite like you will.

Ayurveda is actually reasonably priced. The miracle associated with dynamics does not include a price tag with it. What is the monetary value of a lifetime worth? With modern treatments they say it can be value $50, 000 1 year in addition to I wonder how many people travelled to that number if quite a few medical treatments fee more than this inside a month. I assume which life is EXPENSIVE and so does indeed Ayurveda. If we treat all of our self right by right nutrition, exercise, positive imagining and paying attention to be able to what we find, effect, taste, hear, fragrance as well as feel then we have been throughout perfect health. You will discover not any injections in Ayurveda consequently medications are all all-natural, directly from nature and also supplied in natural means. As well as herbs are healthy, most affordable and have a new great impact on your well being.

Ayurveda works. Ayurveda features treatments for things that will current medicine has categorised while "un-treatable" or "un-curable". Ayurveda takes a stand up point in which nothing will be un-treatable or un-curable that may be that most of us don't know the best way to cure it or how for you to treat it just nevertheless but we will see a treatment method or a cure making it our job to help support the system and the imagination until offered. Ayurveda can certainly cure hepatitis T along with that is not one thing that is done with Western medicine, even if it's just by simply transplanting the hardworking liver. Ayurveda is now being identified by modern medicine because regarding several of the impressive results this have been had any idea by means of Ayurvedic treatments.

Ayurveda stressed the importance of retaining constructive health. Not solely maintaining the idea but developing it as well, Ayurveda focuses on preventing the particular unbalances that lead to help disease. An personalised in addition to multi-dimensional approach is usually considered for prevention involving sickness as well as to get treatment.

Seeing that ancient seeing that Ayurveda is definitely many persons think it is typically the "new kid on often the block" grow older see considerably more and more holistic methods of healing, in reality the item is the "granddaddy" connected with medicine.