#beckoning and manipulation and whatnot

[maracllea]

He can be controlled.

[mlm-writer]

The Kappa Situation (Ray Palmer x GN!Reader)

Pairing: Ray Palmer (The Atom, LoT ver.) x Gender Neutral Metahuman Reader Rating: Explicit Words: 1915 Summary: You get injured, you get some flashbacks, Ray is a darling angel. Sexy times. Note: Mashed two requests together, then changed some wording to make it gender neutral since gender is sometimes so unnecessary. Uhh reader has the power to manipulate magnetic fields. Oh and a Kappa is a creature from Japanese folklore.  Tags: flashbacks, love confessions, idiots in love, oral sex, and hinted sub!Ray... ok it is kinda there. OH AN NO BETA BECAUSE I AM LAZY 

The ring moved slowly parallel to the metal bar it was around. With brows knitted in concentration, you manipulated the magnetic micro fields around it to move it to the finish without it touching the bar. You just passed your personal record. A smile formed on your lips as you moved it further. That was until the door to your room opened and the sound disturbed your concentration. The edge of the ring touched the bar lightly and a loud buzzer hurt your ears in punishment. 

“Dammit! What do you want?” You turned around to find Ray in the door. He looked at you like a kicked puppy. “Ah Ray… Can this wait? I am in the middle of training.” He frowned. Normally he would have gone already and given you your space. 

“I feel like you’re kind of avoiding me. Did I do something wrong?” He tilted his head. It was so cute. You tore your eyes away from him and grabbed the energy shake off the side table. That puppy look was exactly what you were trying to avoid. Dammit there were fairy godmothers and elves and whatnot wandering the timeline. There was no time for your dumb crush. Lives were at stake. 

“No, not at all, don’t worry about it. I just have been concentrating on improving my microfields. You know that if I refine it I could generate electricity right? That skill will be necessary eventually and I don’t want to be the idiot who did not train enough to get us out of regular Legends shenanigans.” You sat down on your bed and took a good swig from the shake, concealing your face with the bottle. 

“Oh… oh yeah ok,” Ray replied and you thought for a moment that he was going to leave you alone. However, he did not move from his spot. You kept on drinking, side-eyeing him. Your eyes raked over the perfect-fit jeans and the dark red sweater he wore on top of it. Oh how he was a champion of hiding his perfect body. When you came to his head, he had his eyes on you as well. You lowered the bottle and cleared your throat. “Can I uh…” Ray started, “God… I just want the truth. I don’t like people not liking me, especially not if I like them very much.” He ran his hands through his hair during his mini-ramble. The dark brown locks stood up in all directions now. 

“I like you too, Ray. I promise, I am not upset with you.” You chose your words carefully as you rose to your feet. Ray caught on your words. He was used to realising that your ‘better’s never meant ‘good’ and your ‘no lies’ did not mean ‘full truth’ either. You wondered when he had learned your loopholes so quickly. 

He walked inside, the door whooshing close behind him and the situation suddenly felt so intimate. “Not upset then… Perhaps disappointed?” You sighed and shook your head. He kept coming closer. “Then… Sad? Are you sad?” You chuckled and shook your head again. “Furious?” Another shake of the head. Another step closer. He stopped walking when there was half an arm’s length between you. He was talking, but you could not take your eyes off his perfect lips. You were so smitten. Dear Lord, have mercy on your soul. 

Inhibition slipped you as you finally looked up at Ray. Your intense stare shut him right up. “Ray Palmer, I have been avoiding you because I’m super into you. Now please leave me alone or kiss me.” No one could shut up Ray Palmer like you. The boy scout with so many words turned into a gaping fish at your words. Since he was not jumping at the opportunity to kiss you, you pointed towards the exit, but he took a gentle hold of your wrist. 

“No, no, I choose kissing… just… can we wait with that? I am pretty sure my breath still smells and I wouldn’t want our first kiss to be… gross… not that… I mean, ha, I am into you too, super into you, super duper…” 

You did not kiss that day. The memory was cut off with a dull ache in your chest. You opened your eyes, squinting at the ceiling. “Where am I?” You mumbled to yourself. There was shuffling and suddenly your boyfriend was in your vision. He was rambling. How typical. “What happened?” You, very intelligently, inquired, cutting through the words with only two of your own. 

Ray blinked at you. “You saved my life, don’t you remember?” As he stared at you with concern, you frowned, trying to remember. 

The kappa ran between the trees and the bushes. Ray was hot on its tail, his smaller size allowing easy navigation through the highly vegetated area. It was a wonder how Japan from the future had dense forests within the city serving as a park. You moved into position near the park’s entrance. You saw the green creature run right past it and you started running parallel to it. The sidewalk was full, even at this late hour. People yelled at you as you pushed them aside. You were just in time to see Ray change back to his normal size and make a jump to catch the kappa. 

He rolled over the sidewalk and right into the street. You sprinted as you spotted a hover car coming right at him. “Ray! Move!” You exclaimed, totally forgetting about your comm. You stopped in the middle of the crossroads and stretched out your arms. The magnetic field repulsed the hover car, slowing it to a stop right in front of Ray. You let out a sigh of relief, before you found yourself off your feet, right before everything went black. 

“Ah yeah, a car. You’re welcome, by the way.” You held your arm out and Ray took it to help you up. He helped you out of the medbay. Apparently you were all good, just bound to be sore with some minor injuries to your rib that Gideon could not fix for you. “Where are the others?” 

Ray was the perfect gentleman as he guided you to your new, shared room. “Still taking care of that kappa. We took it almost to the waverider, but it got away before the hatch was fully down.” You sighed, making a joke about how they were hopeless without you. Once in your room, Ray pulled you close and let you lean against him as he undressed you. You smiled as you smelled the mixture of his deodorant and grime of a long day. You helped him minimally, letting him undress you like a doll. Once you were down to nothing, he pushed you down onto the bed. “Don’t lie down yet. I’ll clean you up a little so you can sleep comfortably.” 

You hummed and let him take care of you. Ray returned shortly after with a bucket of water and a small towel. He was methodical and careful as he wiped down your skin. You closed your eyes and let your head hang back. The second he was done, you carefully lowered yourself down onto the bed, legs still hanging off the edge. Ray walked over to your dresser to get you some underwear. You whistled at him. He looked over his shoulder at you, an unspoken inquiry on his face. “I am naked on our bed and there is no one on the ship. Don’t you want to make use of that?” You winked at him, making him laugh. 

“As much as I would love to - for the record I really, really want to - I don’t think we should have sex with your injuries.” You pouted at him and trailed a hand down to your sex, rubbing yourself slowly, teasingly. “Uhm, uh…” You smirked when Ray was clearly having doubts about his righteous decisions. You saw his eyes follow the path of your fingers. “Just oral? I can do that, you can just lie there.” You failed at suppressing the grin that spread over your face. As he gestured to your body while suggesting you’d just lie there.

You chuckled and beckoned him over with your fingers. “I’ll take anything from you, but please lose your clothing as well.” Ray pulled his black shirt off in one smooth motion. He then unceremoniously pushed his jeans and underwear down together. Ray dropped to his knees like a man about to worship a god. He put your legs over his shoulders, removed your hand and got to work with his tongue. He lapped over you with languid strokes. Your eyes closed and your head fell back onto the bed. A happy sigh left you as his glorious tongue licked up your taste. 

“I love doing this,” Ray announced between licks as if you were not awfully aware of how happy he could be from just servicing you with his mouth. He teased you with only the tip of his tongue, before going back to those slow, long licks. You sighed and put a hand through his soft hair, pulling a little so he would put his lips around your most sensitive parts. Just one tug was all it took for Ray to drop the teasing and just get to work with sucking and licking and moving his head like he would die from a lack of your pleasure. 

You moaned at the sudden spike of pleasure. Your back naturally arched off the bed and you winced at the pain that stabbed through your ribcage. And just like that, the pleasure stopped and Ray was looking you over with saliva still dripping down his chin. “Are you ok? Are you in pain?”

“Yes and yes… You are so adorable,” you sighed as you shifted. “Sorry, could not help myself from moving. Having you suck on me like that is just very good.” You smiled sheepishly at him. Ray nodded and stroked your cheek with his thumb. He told you to relax as he went down again. He put your legs over his shoulders and you were expecting him to go back to what he was doing before, but instead you felt his tongue circle your hole. “Fuck Ray, please,” you whimpered at the idea of his tongue inside you. 

Your boyfriend was nothing if not obedient. He gently pushed his slick tongue inside, fuckign you with it. The pleasure was just as good, just less intense. While it was previously like bullets of pleasure through your body, this was like a continuous stream of pleasure that would slowly send you overflowing. You removed your hand from his head to touch yourself, your fingers gliding easily over yourself with Ray’s saliva still there. You allowed to let all the soft sounds escape you, being free in your expression of pleasure. 

Ray was a champ, who did not stop until he heard you gasp and then a hand landed on your abdomen to steady you as his tongue slid back up to replace your hand. An exclamation of pleasure left your lips, the feeling overruling the slight ache of your injuries protesting against the muscles tensing from your orgasm. You were panting as much as you could once the pleasure subsided. Ray rubbed your thighs for a hot minute, until he got up again. Your eyes were unfocused staring at the ceiling until they eventually closed, your body giving in to the exhaustion. 

[thran-duils]

Doll Me Up (P.10)

Title: Doll Me Up (Part Ten) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Tony Stark. On good days, you and Tony were a power couple. You, a perfect trophy wife with your hands in local charities to promote a wholesome image. Tony, business man but sullied with organized crime. He indulged in his illegal gambling, extortion, and political corruption. And he indulged in his escort business. Hell, that is where he had found you. You were a brat, and he loved a challenge. Words: 3,025 Warnings: Unhealthy relationships, smut, daddy kink, dom/sub, manipulation, death, violence, possessive behavior, drug use

Part Nine || Part Eleven || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

~A month ago (cont.)…

Tony walked into the bedroom, drawing your attention away from the TV.

“Thank god,” you groaned pathetically, tossing the body pillow you had been curled up with over yourself onto the ground. “Please snuggle with me. I haven’t felt good.”

“I know. But are you going to vomit?” Tony questioned, coming over to the side of the bed.

You rolled over onto your side to face him and said, “I don’t think so. I don’t feel so sick. I’m just tired.”

“Cause you know I don’t do well with that. The vomiting.”

You groaned again, throwing the blanket over your head. You just wanted him to get into bed and hold you and stop the talking.

Tony patted your hip impatiently. “Alright, dramatic. Come on. Up, up, up.”

“I don’t want to get up!” you said from underneath the comforter.

“Princess.”

“I want you to lie down with me, daddy.”

“I will, promise. Cross my heart. But business first. And that involves you getting up out of the bed.”

You whined, “What business? You just got back from business.”

“Y/N, get up,” Tony told you firmly. You knew that tone; he was not playing around anymore.

Sighing dramatically, you tossed the comforter back, looking up at him pitifully. He beckoned you with two fingers and you did as he asked. You shivered against the loss of the heat from the blanket, especially since you were just in a lounge bra and underwear.

He held out a small box and you took it from him. Your breath caught reading the label, staring dumbly down at the pregnancy test.

“What’s this for…?”

“I think it’s pretty obvious. The nausea that you’re feeling?”

Oh no.

Your mind raced with all the times the two of you had had unprotected sex recently. He had asked for it, seeming really into it, and you had obliged, wanting to turn him on. You knew it was a possibility of course, pregnancy. But you figured that problem could be solved fairly easy if it arose.

“Y/N?” Tony asked, interrupting your thoughts.

You turned your gaze up from the box and licked your lips nervously. Slapping the box on your other hand, you said, “Right. Nausea… sex. Pee on it.”

“Yeah, I think that’s generally how it works,” Tony confirmed, a smirk tugging at his lips at your stammering. “I’ll be out here.”

Grabbing your phone to keep the time, you turned away from him and made your way to the master bathroom reluctantly.

The three minutes seemed to take forever, and your hand was shaking when you turned the test back over.

I I

Your hand was gripping the test so tightly your knuckles were white as you stared down at the result.

Tony walked into the bathroom and asked from behind you, “Are you alright?”

“It’s positive,” you said sounding far away from yourself.

Tony looked over your shoulder at the test and you saw him smile in the mirror. Your face screwed into confusion seeing he looked… happy.

Tossing the test onto the counter, you made to turn to him. “Hey, love, there’s pee on that—”

“Why are you happy?” you demanded.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Tony asked, giving you an incredulous look. His hands came to your waist and he smiled. “Look at that. Making steps together.”

“W…what?” you stammered.

Tony hushed you with a deep kiss and he said, “This is wonderful news, kitten.” You tried to pull away from his grasp but he held tight, his face falling slightly at your resistance. “Really. It’s wonderful. I’ve been hoping for it actually. I think it’s the next step.”

“Having a baby?” you asked in disbelief.

His face fell completely now, his grasp letting up on your waist, and he stated flatly, “You’re not happy.”

“No! No, I’m not! I don’t…” you started to say trailing off. “We didn’t even talk about this!”

“What’s there to talk about? Shit like this happens all the time. Do you know how many unplanned pregnancies there are? Luckily for us though, we are in an established relationship, financially stable, in a good area for schools,” Tony started saying, listing off the positives. He noticed the look on your face and his hands left your waist to come up and cup your face. “Hey… look at me.” You did and his fingers caressed your skin affectionately. “This is a good thing for us.” One of his hands came to rest on your abdomen and he said sincerely, “Really. I want this for us. We can still have our fun and whatnot, cause I sure as hell don’t want to ever give that up. But this is a good growth for us. We’ve got the means to have the best of both worlds. That’s what nannies are for. Right?”

He sounded sincere, joyful about the prospect. And he was looking at you, desperately waiting for you to agree with him. Could it be so bad?

“It better be an ugly nanny,” you finally said.

Tony burst out laughing and brought your forehead to his lips. “Of course. The homeliest.”

<><><>

“Why is the fish of the day not priced?” you muttered.

“That’s pretty normal, Y/N. You should know that,” Tony commented back as the waiter brought the bottle of wine over that he had ordered. He thanked him, as the waiter poured the first glass for him and placed the bottle gently on the table. “We need a couple minutes.”

“Well, I want it, but I don’t know how much it costs.”

“It doesn’t matter. Only the best for you,” Tony told you, giving you a tight-lipped smile. There was something malicious lurking there, but you smiled back weakly all the same.

Happy shifted in his seat and you turned your attention towards him. He caught your eye and you stared at him silently for an explanation. He shrugged at you and you held back a sigh. Apparently you were going to have to prod yourself.

“What’s wrong?” you asked Tony.

He did not look up from the menu.

“Tony!” you said and that caught his attention, you using his real name. You rarely did it. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, wagging his finger at you. “I’m not having this conversation right now in the middle of a restaurant. What we are going to do is eat, enjoy each other’s company for lunch, and then we can go back to the penthouse.” You were silent, watching him and his gaze snapped up from the menu to look at you. “I’m serious, Y/N. I’m not talking about it here. So, drop it.”

“Okay,” you told him, fingers tapping on your menu.

He finished off his glass of wine and picked the bottle up, refilling it. You stared at the glass wanting to taste it but knowing you could not. The waiter came back and took your orders.

Tony and Happy fell into a hushed, masked conversation about an e-mail that Happy had just received. You looked around, seeing what other patrons were doing. Your gaze fell on a couple that had their baby in a highchair. The father was keeping it entertained with small toys, no doubt using a goofy voice based on his expression. Soon you would need to request a highchair. How old was that child? Definitely not an infant but not a toddler. You wondered if it could walk yet. What were you going to do when your baby started going mobile? Just having to chase it down constantly? Would it be well behaved?

Suddenly, you noticed a fairly attractive man was watching you from a few tables over from the couple. He smirked when he noticed he had caught your eye and he winked. You furrowed your brow in annoyance at his boldness considering you were obviously out with one of the men at the table. At your cold response you watched his smile falter for a moment before he looked at the empty seat next to him. You rolled your eyes and looked away from him back at the table to find Tony and Happy watching you intently. Had they been trying to talk to you and you had not heard?

Tony shot a quick look at the guy before looking back at you and you realized they much have caught that exchange just now.

“He seems like a prick,” you said calmly, picking up your water and taking a long drink.

“That he does,” Tony replied. “Good thing you aren’t tempted by twenties anymore, huh?”

He took a large drink of his wine and you watched him warily.

There was definitely something off about him. But you were going to follow his rule and enjoy lunch, not prod. The way he was acting, you were going to heed his warning that he did not want to have whatever conversation the two of you were going to have out in public. But now all you could do was worry about what type of conversation that was going to be.

<><><>

Tony unzipped his jacket and tossed it onto the back of the couch as he walked by towards his bar. You followed him, kicking your heels off by the couch too. You stretched out your feet, relishing in the flat ground.

Tony smacked his lips after taking a sip of his bourbon – you noticed it was the bottle you had bought for him – as he walked back towards the couch, past you. He sat back, stretching out.

You came up beside him and sat down, trying to curl up into his side, tucking your feet underneath a pillow. He did not return your embrace, instead bringing his glass to his lips again and taking another drink. He was good and toasted now. He had had the entire bottle of wine to himself, minus a glass that Happy had, at lunch.

“Daddy, seriously. What’s wrong?” you asked him tired of going back and forth.

He ground his teeth for a few moments, and you worried he was not going to speak to you. But he shifted, a little away from you, which hurt more. “Uh, I don’t know. Just… I’ve got a million things running through my mind.”

“About?” you asked.

“About what type of plans you have rolling around in that beautiful – albeit, deceitful – little head of yours.”

Your heart skipped a beat hearing the sneer in his voice and you had a feeling where you knew this conversation was going and you hoped to god it was not.

“’Plans’?” you asked uncertainly.

He leveled you with a scathing look that made you stiffen beneath it. “Yeah, ‘plans’. Like, do you have one? A fully fledged one? Were you just going to sneak off one day while I was gone and go get an abortion? Or were you planning on asking for adoption near when the baby is due?”

Your stomach sunk hearing that. He was watching you closely and you knew you were not masking your shock at his questions.

“Hmm. You look surprised, princess, that I would be saying this. Or are you not surprised and that’s just shock that I know?”

“Pepper told you?” your voice cracked.

Tony gave a wry chortle. “Of course she did. I mean, she had some persuasion because Happy happened to overhear the conversation the two of you were slinking around about.” You inhaled; you knew he had, and he had acted like he had not. “Granted, she was kind of backed into a corner about it. But she wants to stay on the board, so why would she not want to stay on my good side? By telling me my wife is scheming behind my back?”

“I’m not scheming!” you said indignantly, trying to pull away from him. But his arm wrapped tightly around your back, pulling you roughly to him. His bourbon sloshed in his glass in his other hand.

“You want me to agree to either getting rid or giving our baby away, but you won’t talk to me about it. You went behind my back to do try to get someone else to do it for you!” Tony growled.

“Because you would get mad at me!” you told him, sounding pathetic more than anything.

“I’m more mad now, Y/N!” Tony shouted, causing you to jump. His fingers dug into your side as he continued on, “We talked about this. I told you why I thought it was a good thing and you seemed to agree. And I should emphasize the ‘seem’ because you apparently were already putting on an act then. I shouldn’t be surprised about that though because you are a damn good little actress, princess. And you fucking love pushing my buttons!” He yanked you closer and said, his breath hot, “Let me be very clear that this is not something to try to press my buttons about. I am not fucking around about that.”

You tried to pull away from him and his fingers dug in deeper, causing you to wince. “I wasn’t trying to press your buttons, daddy!” you whimpered.

“You could have fooled me! You’ve been nothing but misbehaving at every opportunity!”

You felt it boiling to the surface and you just blurted, “You’re going to leave me! I know you are!”

Tony’s face screwed up in confusion and you took the opportunity to unravel yourself from the lax he gave on his grip on you and pulled away to the other end of the couch. You were breathing quickly, staring at him, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

He leaned forward and you watched him like a hawk as he placed his glass down on the coffee table before coming back to sit straight, his gaze piercing.

With some difficulty he asked, “You really think I’m going to leave you?” All you gave was a slight shrug and he said, “Why?” Your lashes brushed your cheek as you looked down and Tony pressed with more force, “Why? Answer me.”

It was hard to admit to him about your insecurity and you word vomited, “I don’t want to be a mum! That’s so much responsibility!”

Tony sighed, “You don’t have to shoulder all of it. What made you think you had to?”

“I… I am the mum. I have to. It’s on me.” You knew that was a lie. You had seen that father in the restaurant today doing just fine while the mum was scrolling through her phone, writing things down in a notebook.

“Kitten, come on. We talked about a nanny. You think I don’t want to take trips with you still, childfree?” He leaned in and said firmly, “But that’s not why you think I’m going to leave you, is it?” You stared down at the couch, picking at the fabric and he demanded, “Kitten.”

Pepper had told him; she must have told him everything. And he wanted to hear it from your lips.

In a voice barely above a whisper, you said still not looking up at him, “I’m not going to be the same. My stomach is gonna get really big and I’m gonna get stretch marks. My boobs will sag if I breastfeed…”

Tony was quiet for a few moments before he said, “Your body will be fine. Bodies change. But if you feel insecure we can talk about surgery.”

You looked up now, your brow pinched. “If ‘I feel insecure’?”

“Yes. Breast lifts, tummy tucks. Whatever will make you feel better. It’ll be up to you what and if you want to do any of that. I want you to be comfortable. It’s up to you.”

Tears came then and you did not try to stop them as they rolled fat down your cheeks. He was suggesting to get plastic surgery to correct all the damage the baby was going to do to you. The damage you expected. Like it was going to wave it all away; all the insecurity you had. And he sounded like he did not have any concern about it. It was you.

Choking out, you told him, “I don’t want to be unattractive. You only married me because of my looks.”

His face fell at that, you saw through your tears. He looked… pained.

“That’s what you really think isn’t it?” Tony could see it in your eyes and warbling bottom lip as you tried to hold it together. All the fight left him, it finally sinking in. “Oh, princess…”

Tony closed the space between the two of you on the couch, pressing in between your knees to get closer to you. He kissed you all over your face, ending at your lips. The kisses were tender, lingering. He tasted of his bourbon and you drank it in all the same. It was a comforting embrace he was giving you, a sincere one. You wanted to believe him so badly that everything was going to be okay.

Pressing your foreheads together, he held you close. He whispered, “You’ll always be beautiful.” He kissed the tip of your nose affectionately. “And mothers’ glow. Didn’t you know? You’ll be like an ethereal being.” You let out a strained laugh, hiccupping. Tony pulled you in for another kiss and he breathed against your lips as he said, “I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t voice this to me. I know I’m an asshole sometimes and I don’t always express myself well, but… that shouldn’t keep you from talking to me about this. I should do better… I’m sorry.”

His hand came to rest on your stomach, and you breathed into his touch. He kissed the tip of your nose and said, “You’re doing me a favor. Really. I know I haven’t expressed it well. But, you are. You’re giving me stability. And yes, your looks are what drew me in but it’s you that made me want to stick around after that. Do you understand that?” You gave a weak nod and he repeated his eyes glossy, “Do you understand that?”

“Yes, daddy,” you said, and you let him pull you to him again to cradle you.

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21, @undecidedsworld

Fic tags: @kvzctam @farihafangirls, @teenageregression @mrsnegan25 @lilacs-lavender @agustdowney @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @emmariexx

[somethingtowriteto]

11/09/2018

Today I went to check my FB and saw I had a friend request, so I casually clicked on the red bubble alert to view who this person was.

.

.

It turned out to be my spouse’s nephew (he’s a year younger than me). Long story short, my spouse’s nephew and I had a quick fling way back in the past (my spouse and I weren’t together at the time). Let’s call this nephew F.

.

So F and I had a fling that lasted about two weeks but F was/is a liar, had fun with manipulation, and a tad crazy. I remember a time in which it was his friends birthday so we went to go pick his said friend up. F’s friend was plastered as heck so we laid him down onto a bed to take care of him, but then F laid next to his drunk friend’s side and beckoned me to come over. I refused to move from the corner of the room for a few minutes and then sighed and walked over to the other side of the bed. F then told me to lie down next to his drunk ass friend. I refused to yet again, so I sat on the ledge of the bed instead. Meanwhile, F tells his drunk buddy he had a present for him. Yep. You guessed it.

.

I. 👏 Was. 👏 Supposed. 👏 To. 👏 Be. 👏 The. 👏 Fucking. 👏 Present. 👏

.

Literally.

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I got so disgusted and mad at F I demanded for F to take me back home but F didn’t listen; he wanted us all to have some fun together.

.

F then stuck his hand down the blanket and unbuckled his drunk ass friend’s belt and proceeded with jerking his friend off.

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You guys. I was so disturbed and still am to this day. F casually looked at me and calmly said, “It’s okay. We do this all the time.” He then tried to grab one of my hands to help him jerk his buddy off but I pulled away and angrily demanded for him to seriously bring me home.

.

.

After that, other crap went down in which he tried to play the victim when I was genuinely concern about problems the two of us had.

.

For a month and a half F threatened me with some serious texts and never ending phone calls, and then I moved out of state and he had no means of finding me so his threats became less and less. Eventually his threats came to a stop a year later (the last time we talked to one another was when he made an abrupt phone call at 4:00AM; I recall this clearly because my phone woke my friends up and he was supposedly drunk on the phone telling me he missed me or what not; he also used a private number to call my cellphone so I didn’t know who the hell was calling).

.

Getting back to the point of this post though, F found out his uncle—my spouse—and I were dating and are now engaged. So he sent me a friend request on one of four of his FB accounts but I declined it (he also tried to message me too but I also declined it).

.

Sooo, F has been trying to get me to accept his friend requests via FB for years now but I won’t, yet when F knows we are going to see each other during a family event he’ll watch me from a set distance (which is weird, and it doesn’t help that I can’t identify who he is at the gatherings because their family carry strong genetic features, but it is also no big deal because I’m not actively seeking F out).

.

.

I don’t care that he’s part of my spouse’s family because I love my in-laws a lot. In fact, I feel that it bothers him a lot more that I am marrying into the family and that they mostly accept me as their daughter-in-law.

.

What I find ridiculous and funny is the fact that F has the balls to talk to my spouse about me when I am not in sight, but can’t even fathom coming up to talk face-to-face with me (which I am okay with since we are all supposed to be adults here). 🤷‍♀️

.

The last time I saw him was last month at my in-laws funeral service. I was sitting at a table talking to my SIL’s and he came up into view from my peripheral vision to talk to my BIL. BUT. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS HIM UNTIL MY SPOUSE INFORMED ME AT THE END OF THE SERVICE AND BURIAL. 😂

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I love my spouse so much and am extremely grateful for how patient and loving he is towards me. I know he feels uncomfortable when F looms near us but I hope one day it settles into his mindset that his half-blood nephew, F, means nothing to me. As much as I hate F I have to get over it myself because I fucked up in a way with my naive past self. I’d like to think that I have forgiven F for all the shit he pulled, said and did, but I know I haven’t forgiven him for everything he has done to me. Although I do not hold a grudge against him I do not forgive him completely, and by no means do I dislike him. I hate him in a disgusted and atrocious manner and I hope he doesn’t attend my spouse and my wedding, but I’m sure he will show up to:

1.) Show face to the family because the entire family is traditional like that.

2.) Show up because it’s his uncle and he claims them to be “close” family or whatnot when they aren’t.

3.) Decides to come because he wants to be smug about his existence but it is no big deal because my soon-to-be-husband and I will look absolutely amazing and slay’n.

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We do a lot of stupid things growing up, and I pray that most of us have learned a lesson or more from said mistake(s).

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F was my second biggest mistake growing up, and he was definitely the last naive mistake I made. Now I get to aimlessly watch him stalk me again from the sidelines (which isn’t a big deal for me—it’s more of a nuisance—since I’m sure he’s into men more ‘cause he couldn’t get that thing up anyway 🙈).

[shanny-tired]

The Power of a Druid (Roleplaying it of course!)

Time for a bit of my flair on druid magic. There is a hell of a lot to cover so I may section this off into other parts or something, who knows really. Moreso writing this because I felt inspired to rather than to just ‘inform’ people on how they should roleplay things. We all have different interpretations and understandings and whatnot. If this makes you angered, then you missed the point!

Introduction

First thing to note about druid magic is that it relies on a connection to a realm separate but connected to Azeroth: The Emerald Dream. The deeper the connection, the stronger the druid essentially. There are two sides to a druid’s magic: The Nature, and the Arcane. This is where the prospect of Balance and balance druids come into play because while Arcane magic can be considered unnatural, it is a part of the natural law just like most other magic. When you use your abilities as a druid, you tap into the Dream’s latent energies and manifest them into the natural world. From mending, to shapeshifting, to cleansing poison, to beckoning a swarm of faeries, and even creating balls of solar wrath. Abilities like moonfire, starfire, and starsurges are reliant on the arcane.

Something else to keep in mind that a druid’s power waxes and wanes dependent on their location and area. For example, a druid may feel a distance within themselves were they in a heavily industrialized area, yet at peace or empowered by being in areas brimming with nature like the various groves scattered upon Azeroth, Val’sharah, and even Elwynn or Eversong Forest. Some druid abilities even rely on location. As an example, do not expect to manifest roots in the midst of a desert, or a swarm of faeries and insects in the coldest regions on the realm. A druid’s power is situational and environmental as it is dependent on their connection to The Dream.

Shapeshifting

Shapeshifting is likely the most dangerous part of the druid practice. When you shapeshift you call upon the blessing (or blessings) of the Wild Gods. Depending on your affiliation, it can be quite a few different patrons: Ursoc and Ursol, Goldrinn, Ashamane, Aviana, Aesinna - all possible patrons of the many who could grant you their blessing. This so called blessing allows you to assume a magical form of the beasts within the Emerald Dream. Stormcrows, bears, nightsabers, mountain lions, panthers, bats, sentinel owls - all possibilities.

I digress. Shapeshifting is the manifestation of the instinct and primal ability. The Dream is not only peaceful and harmonious with life, but also its more wrathful aspects. Shapeshifting is reliant on allowing those aspects to channel into you and essentially manifest themselves into you. In that change you no longer are you natural form. You become the beast, and the beast does not like to be controlled. It becomes a battle between your mind, and the beast’s mind. Be you a bear, feline, bird, or even moonkin. 

The battle can be won and more often than not, but the beast is a manifestation of yourself and the beast inside you-- inside us all. If you are a proud, determined, stubborn creature like Shanaris, expect the beast to be worse than that. Expect the beast to want control and fight tooth and claw to allow their mind to overpower yours-- seduce it to be one with it. A loose comparison would be the corrupting nature of Fel magic, but instead of being parasitic, it is twistedly symbiotic. The symbiosis takes what you know, and what the beast known and melds it into one. In that time it is either you in control, or the beast.

Winning the battle then allows you to not only understand the beast and all its capabilities, but also the magical aspects as well. Moonkin and their strange ability to empower both natural and arcane magic. A Druid in control of their bear form can dull pain, harden fur, and even cause said fur to bristle to a point of being dangerous to have any form of impact. A druid who knows their form is dangerous, but a druid who masters it only becomes moreso. 

Healing and Restoration

The restorative and healing power of druid magic is not as dangerous as shapeshifting, but can still hold dangers and consequences. Druid of the Grove, patrons to Aessina, focus upon the more delicate weaving of nature magic and by that extension, healing. This portion will focus more upon the healing and life-giving rather than the weaving and beckoning of nature’s laws.

First and most important thing to note is that druid magic does not work on the completely dead or undead. Due to the lack of living cells within the necromantic body, druid healing will have little or no effect on a Death Knight, Forsaken, or any other form of undead creature.

Now, with that out of the way, time to explain how druid healing and restoration works! Everything about the healing, has to do with potential and life. An acorn has an extreme amount of potential; growing from a simple seed to a giant oak n a manner of years. The way of a druid is to expedite that process, but just like matter, the magic cannot be simply created. Restoration needs a prior existing life energy in order to flow through another entity. The world around you would be a catalyst for the magic to take activate. With that done, the magic then flows into another living being. Living means anything biotic from a tree, to grass, to a dog, to a person, and even to the floorboards made of wood. Despite being severed and sanded, they are still alive and can be provoked to bend and grow once more. 

All druid healing, growth, and nature manipulation is the simple acceleration of natural processes. A laceration would clot, scab, and close in a matter of seconds or minutes. A scar would be left in its wake, but druid’s more skilled in the art of healing have the capability to even rid scars from the body due to the rapid speed of regeneration. A broken bone would heal back into place so long as the deformed limb is placed in the proper position prior to healing. BUrn wounds and amputations could be healed and forgotten entirely so long as a fresh wound is created, and the natural healing process is not too far along. 

However... there is a catch. The brain is a logical organ, and not many minds have the capacity to comprehend the impossibility of magic. As such, the wounds may still feel as if they are there or what I like to call ‘ghost pains’. Soreness, an inability to move, it is all due to the brain taking time to register that the wound is no longer there, and there should no longer be any pain. That process can take minutes, to hours, to days. It all depends on the wound, and the patient’s mental fortitude.

There are ways to dull the pain, however. Just as a druid can accelerate processes, they also have the capacity to slow them down. A more sinister druid could slow one’s heart rate and brain function to such a point that the patient may seem dead, or perhaps die entirely due to a lack of heartbeat for too long. A hateful druid could target the sickness within your body, and agitate the bacteria to grow at an unnatural rate, causing your wounds to fester and illness to reach such an extremity that it proves fatal. Cancer cells within each and every body, can be provoked to rapid growth, essentially destroying the living organism. More benevolent druids and slow the rate at which pain registers, and even dull the nerves so that the wounds feel more like simple accidents (think morphine, or painkillers). On the other side of the spectrum, a druid well practiced in the restorative totem can elicit hypersensitivity upon the patient, or victim. Be it pain, pleasure, ticklishness, or whatever other kind of sensation can be felt.

The last thing to keep in mind when healing is that once again, the magic is not something to be created out of thin air. When a druid heals, it takes from the life energy all around Azeroth, and more specifically their general surroundings. A druid would have a much easier time healing someone in the middle of Val’sharah rather than inside Ironforge. Keep that in mind the next time attempting to heal someone with a severed leg in the middle of Stormwind or Orgimmar!

Life-Bending and Creation

Sounds Avatar-esque, doesn’t it? Well it should, because it sort of is! Life bending is what I choose to call a druid’s more...involved actions with nature. The spells known as Faerie Swarm, Entangling Roots, Cyclone, Typhoon, and others are different forms of Life-Bending. Life-Bending involves calling nature to your aid, in whatever way, shape, or form that may be. These powers can be spontaneous spells that manifest from the energy around you, or the calling of allies and nature’s wrath. More powerful, experienced, or practiced druids can summon roots or vines from their person with so much as a cast, and preparation. While it may seem to come from nothing, more likely than not it beckons from a druid’s clothing more likely than not, or perhaps a pre-collected items like twigs, pieces of roots, or thorns. If I recall correctly, in one of the Stormrage books, Malfurion threw severed thorns at his target, and forced them to grow in mid air, creating sharp, deadly projectiles. 

A druid has the potential to call for the beasts of nature for assistance. This includes insects! Yes, insects! Despite how gross bugs are to a lot of us, many of them are a part of the natural world. After all, if a druid really dislikes their opponent, nothing says ‘hate’ like a swarm of biting, poisonous insects gnawing away at their flesh! Aside from bugs, an avian creature could likely assist a druid in scouting or sending a message to allies. Canines, Felines, Bears, and other mammals could assist a druid with tracking, hunting, and perhaps even care for another orphaned creature. Aquatic animals could assist in leading to pockets of air, or help a drowning friend in need. (Like aquaman!)

Of course, we must keep in mind that these animals are alive, free creatures that do not heed orders well, especially from sentient bipeds. While they would be likely to happily assist a druid, other beasts and creatures have the choice to reject your call to aid. This is why fauna is always a more absolute choice. A plant would likely love nothing more than to grow as much as it can, and welcomes a chance to grow further.

Some more unique druids, skilled or otherwise, have the ability to create life from what seems to be nothing. A flower, an insect, the smaller the creation, the easier. Something like roots, vines, or branches would take considerably more power. These things do not appear from nowhere. As said before, the magic does not rely on creation from nothing. These powers rely on momentarily causing the Emerald Dream to heed your magic, and assist you in your endeavors. The pure, unrefined life energy in the hands of a druid who understands the Dream, can take from that world, and place it into our own.

As an example, my druid Shanaris, during a fit of adrenaline and fury, was able to create large, piercing branches from her staff during an event where she and her party were surrounded by ghouls. The expedition of energy and focus however, caused her to collapse shortly after. While the energy came from another source, it still had to flow through Shanaris in order to understand what needed to be created in that time of crisis. Meaning, if the desired creation is small, then it will expend a small amount of mental and physical energy. If the desire is for something great, then the creation will sap you of whatever copious amounts of Life energy is required to create it. 

Give and take, there is never truly a creation from nothing. All energy and power comes from something.

Conclusion

Make it this far? Cool! This about sums up my perspective on a druid’s abilities. I would have written on the other section of ‘Balance’, but I didn’t want to make this post more lengthy than it already was. A druid has the potential to be so much more than a grower of medicinal depressants or feline warrior lady. If you choose to roleplay that, it is perfectly fine! You have the right to do what you want after all, as that is the purpose of free will. I simply wished to share that there is so much more to druids than tree-hugging, life loving hippies. Shanaris always states one thing to everyone and everyone who questions or insults her craft, as it is the one thing she is truly passionate about.

“Never underestimate a druid. Our ally is the world.”