#before the hayes code

[weirdlookindog]

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

[coffinflop]

reading about old hollywood “open secret” gay figures always makes me cry

[rexcaliburechoes]

an///tis are just... sad. imagine basing your entire personality around policing others for what you think is “good“ to consume

[jennelikejennay]

Watched Errand of Mercy today. This is one I don't remember ever seeing before.

First great thing about it is the outfits. Dang, these two manage to look good in everything.

At the beginning I was annoyed by Kirk's incredibly colonialist, Cold-War attitudes. "Hi, the Klingons are coming and will take over your planet, we want to take over instead but we pinky swear we'll do it nicely! We'll just industrialize you and educate you and turn you into something we have no reason to think you'll want to be!"

Little did I know that was going to be the entire point. Good job, Gene L. Coon, I was entirely fooled.

Also points for the way Kirk and Spock are flirting over their odds of survival.

KIRK: What would you say the odds on our getting out of here?

SPOCK: Difficult to be precise, Captain. I should say approximately 7,824.7 to 1.

KIRK: Difficult to be precise? 7,824 to 1? 😏

SPOCK: 7,824 point seven to 1.

KIRK: That's a pretty close approximation. 😊

SPOCK: I endeavour to be accurate.

KIRK: You do quite well. 😍

Just kiss already, it couldn't break the Hayes Code more than what you're doing.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

I'm taking a break from my regularly scheduled WIP to bring you this Scoops Ahoy AU one-shot. It's a long one.

Eddie was about to enter Scoops Ahoy when he saw Steve in front of the counter, his back to him. He was in full uniform, hat on top and all. He was practicing drawing his scoop like he was a cowboy. Eddie's eyes wondered over his backside, giggling at Steve being a dork, and his heart was beating rapidly. Yeah, he liked that a lot, especially the legs attached to the ass. Steve twirled around and smiled at Eddie. He drew his scoop and pretended to shoot him. Eddie clutched his chest and dropped to the floor. He heard Steve’s laughter ring out, and it was the best thing in the world. Shit. He liked Steve Harrington. Eddie jumped up and took off, barely listening to Steve screaming behind him.

"It was just an ice cream scoop!"

Eddie ran all the way out into the parking lot and jumped into his van. He turned it on and thought about where he wanted to go, and then he cursed. Shit, he was supposed to meet Jeff here for a movie. He turned off his van and jumped when someone knocked on his window. He yelped when he saw that it was Steve Harrington. Eddie looked at him wearily before rolling down his window.

"Making special deliveries now, Cap?" Eddie asked, hoping he was actually as calm as he thought he was being.

"Only for people who drop their wallets," Steve grinned, holding up his wallet.

Eddie squeaked and went to grab it, but Steve pulled it back with a grin.

"Never took you for a bully, Harrington," Eddie smirked.

"Seriously?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, a little bitchy? Yes. Bully? No. Not even you would do that. Too busy hiding secrets in that hair of yours," he said, his eyes twinkling.

"Oh. And what secrets are hiding in your hair, Munson?" Steve asked, leaning on the frame.

Eddie trailed his fingers across Steve’s arm. Shit, was he really flirting with him?

"How about you climb into the back of my van and find out?" Eddie asked.

He surprised both of them with that question. He didn't think that he would be so forward. Steve grinned.

"Okay, but I only have fifteen minutes," Steve said he set his watch.

Steve started walking around to the other side, and Eddie quickly scrambled into the back. He flopped onto his back and onto the blanket he kept in the van. Steve opened the door, crawled into the van, and closed the door behind him, lying down beside Eddie.

"So, I have to ask," Steve said, leaning on his elbow. "Why did you run away when I shot you with my ice cream scoop?"

"Uh, there was a bee. A really big bee," Eddie said.

"A big bee, huh?" Steve asked.

"Yeah. I, uh, I really didn't think I ever liked bees before, but I saw this bee, and it was actually kind of cute. A cute dorky bee," Eddie said. "It scared me how much I liked this bee."

"So, was this bee blue, white, and red?" Steve grinned.

"Hmm, you cracked my code," Eddie said. "Damn."

"So is it the fact that I'm a jock or the fact that I'm a guy?" He asked.

"I've always liked women, and I never even questioned it even when other people assumed it about me," Eddie said. "And they always did."

"Funny, people always assumed I was straight even though I wanted them to think otherwise," Steve said.

"I'm obvious. You're not," Eddie grinned.

Steve laughed and placed his hand on his chest, dragging his nails gently across his chest.

"So, you really didn't think I was an asshole in high school?" Steve asked.

"No, mostly because I know how much you tried to stop the basketball players from beating the shit out of us," Eddie said. "Even Tommy Hagan was harmless. He was all talk and too much of a chicken shit to actually do anything about it. Plus, Gareth told me all about how you once stopped Tommy Hayes from beating the shit out of him."

"I fucking hate that guy, him and Jason Carver both. I tried to go to Principal Higgins about it, but he seemed like he was really out to get you. I don't what the fuck that guy's problem with you is but I kind of wanted to kick his ass," Steve scoffed.

"There's a picture," Eddie grinned. "So, did you always know you liked guys? I mean, I should have known at some point, right?"

"I don't think that you can put an exact time frame on something like this, especially since it's different for everyone. I was reading a parenting book, and it suggested that you shouldn't compare your child with other children because they grow and develop at like different rates," Steve said. "I figure that probably works the same with sexuality too."

"Why were you reading a parenting book?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, these kids that I babysit have been having nightmares, and I've been trying to figure out the best way to help them," Steve said.

Eddie pinned him down and climbed on top of him. Steve looked at him in surprise.

"You're the fucking cutest," Eddie said.

He leaned down and kissed him. Eddie mewed softly against his mouth when Steve kissed him back and grabbed the back of his head. His other hand was pressed against Eddie's lower back. Eddie kissed him roughly, rocking his hips against his. He liked the feeling of Steve’s lips against his and the way his hands felt in his hair. He definitely liked the way his hand felt against his backside. His entire body was buzzing. Eddie reached behind him to grab Steve’s hand and moved it so it was cupping his butt. Steve chuckled against his mouth. Suddenly, the van door flew open, causing them to break the kiss. Jeff stood there, staring at the scene with wide eyes.

"Hey, man," Eddie said casually as he continued to straddle Steve Harrington.

He couldn't explain this one away, considering Steve’s hand was on his ass.

"What?!" Jeff exclaimed.

"This is exactly what it looks like," Eddie said.

"I didn't know that you were into guys," Jeff said, looking at them both.

"Is this going to be a problem?" Steve asked with wide eyes, and Jeff laughed.

"No, man, I'm gay," Jeff said, and Steve breathed a sigh of relief.

"You didn't know I was into guys?" Eddie asked with a scoff. "I didn't know I was into guys."

"So, new discovery then?" Jeff asked, and Eddie nodded. "Want me to close the door?"

Jeff wiggled his eyebrows at Eddie. He was about to reply when Steve’s watch went off. Eddie frowned.

"Damn it!" Steve cursed. "I have to get back to work."

"We were making out longer than we thought," Eddie said with grin. "Can we do this again?"

"Yeah, you got a pen?" Steve asked.

Eddie dove towards the front of his van, grabbing a pen out of a cup holder. Steve whistled at his ass and Eddie cackled as he turned around, handing Steve the pen. Steve grabbed his arm and began writing numbers into Eddie's skin. Once he was finished, he bent down and blew on the ink to let it dry, looking directly at Eddie while he did it. Eddie shuddered as his breath hit his skin.

"Call me," Steve winked and hopped out of the van. "See you . . .?"

"Jeff," he replied.

"Jeff," Steve said, nodding at him and walking off.

"Wait, my wallet!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Check your back pocket!" Steve yelled.

Eddie frowned and checked his back pocket. Sure enough, his wallet was there.

"You sexy magician," Eddie muttered.

"Dude, that thing with the number was insanely hot," Jeff said. "Are you going to be able to concentrate on the movie?"

"I'm going to do something to screw this up. I know it!" Eddie exclaimed and buried his head into the blanket.

A couple of weeks later, and so far, Eddie hadn't screwed anything up. It was going well for him and Steve. He had called Steve that very same night, and they had talked for an hour before agreeing to meet at Steve's house for their first date. The asshole had cooked him dinner and everything. Eddie had insisted on cleaning the dishes with Steve, which had turned into them splashing soapy water at each other. After that, they sprawled onto the couch to watch TV, which had turned into a heavy makeout session that had Eddie losing his shirt and Steve nibbling on his tattoos. According to Steve, they're hot. Now, here he was bouncing into Scoops Ahoy to visit Steve. Steve’s co-worker, Robin, rolled her eyes at him.

"Hey, Stevie, is it your breaktime yet?" Eddie grinned.

"Yes, and for the love of God, do your little drug deal in the storage closet," Robin said. "If you must."

Steve grinned as he pulled Eddie into the break room and then into the storage closet, turning the lock.

"She thinks I'm selling you drugs," Eddie laughed as Steve pushed him up against the wall.

"Yeah, I got you something," Steve smiled and started digging around in his pockets.

"Yeah, you do," Eddie wiggled his eyebrows.

"No, not that," Steve snorted. "Although, maybe later if you're a good boy. Here."

He pulled a bumblebee pin out of his pocket. Eddie grinned and took it, an overwhelming wave or affection for the guy in front of him. He quickly added it to the pins on his vest.

"Thanks, Stevie," Eddie said and kissed him softly before cooing at him. "Sweet boy."

Steve blushed as he fiddled with the pin on his vest.

"I was hoping to ask you a question, and I'd get if you don't want to or if you want to keep thing the way they are but - ," Steve said.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Eddie blurted out.

"Yeah!" He exclaimed, his eyes bright. "That's what I was going to ask you."

"You should know that I've never wanted to be someone's boyfriend before, not until you came along," Eddie said. "I don't know even know how to be a boyfriend."

"We'll figure it out together," Steve grinned.

Eddie kissed him, pulling his body close to his as he wrapped his arms around his neck. Steve smiled against his lips, slipping his tongue into his mouth. Suddenly, the door opened, and Robin burst in.

"I need help - Shit!" Robin exclaimed.

"I, uh, lost something," Eddie said.

"What? Did you lose your keys in his mouth?" Robin asked.

"I might have," Eddie scowled.

"And you searched for them with your tongue?" She asked.

"It's really good search method," he said.

"Try again," she said.

"He really wanted a discount," Eddie said.

"Hm, that's a little more believable," Robin said.

"Steve," Eddie whined.

"Relax, Munson, I'm a lesbian," Robin said.

"Really?" Eddie and Steve grinned.

"Yeah, I hate to pull you away from your boyfriend, but there are a lot of customers now, and I need help," Robin said softly. "Oh, did you know that the lock on this door is broken?"

"I do now," Steve replied.

"Nice bee pin, Munson," Robin said.

"Thanks, my new boyfriend gave it to me," he said, batting his eyelashes at Steve.

"That's cute," Robin said. "He pinned you."

"I know! We're sooo going steady. I'm hoping he'll give me his letterman and takes me to the sock hop," Eddie squealed, batting his eyelashes again.

"Okay," Steve rolled his eyes and pushed them out of the closet. "You two are not becoming friends."

"We're all becoming friends, Harrington," Robin replied.

"Oh. Well, that's okay then," Steve said softly.

And friends the three of them did become. Eddie even invited them to see their band play at the Hideout. They had both enjoyed it immensely to his delight. Robin and Jeff had hit it off, most likely laughing about Eddie and Steve. Eddie didn't think that Steve would pull him into the bathroom and get on his knees for him. He didn't think he was that good, but Steve, apparently, thought differently. Steve had been a big hit with all of his friends, especially when he remembered Gareth by making note of the fact that he didn't have his braces anymore. The only thing left to do was introduce Steve to his uncle. Coming out to Wayne had been easy because it didn't change anything between them like he thought it would.

"You're my nephew, and I'm still your uncle. If I didn't give up on you when you robbed that truck full of weed, then there is nothing you can do or be that's gonna scare me off, son," Wayne said.

Now, here they were, waiting for Steve to arrive. He should have been here by now. Eddie was pacing the floor of the living room, his stomach in knots.

"Relax, son, he's going to be here," Wayne said.

"I feel like something is wrong. Something is seriously wrong," Eddie frowned.

Suddenly, there was a loud mechanical roaring sound like the sound of a helicopter. Eddie and Wayne walked outside to find several military looking helicopters flying overhead. Eddie quickly scrambled on top of the trailer to see where they were flying. Eddie blanched when he saw the smoke, and he quickly scrambled back down.

"What?" Wayne asked.

"There's smoke coming from Starcourt," Eddie said. "Steve works there. I need to go!"

"We're both going, and I'll drive," Wayne said, clapping a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I knew it, I knew it," Eddie kept muttering as they drove.

When they pulled up to Starcourt, they found a military blockade in front of the mall. They were denied entry as soon as they walked up. Wayne pulled him aside.

"I'll distract them. You go find your boy," he said.

Eddie looked at him doubtfully for a moment before Wayne started yelling at the guards. Eddie took the opportunity to run past them.

"STEVE! STEVE?!" Eddie shrieked as he fought through people's arms.

He was full on sobbing, his eyes blurry with tears. He didn't notice until he ran into Hopper.

"Munson, what the hell are you doing here?" Hopper asked.

"I'm looking for Steve. Is he okay? He's not - tell me he's not - " Eddie started to babble.

"EDDIE?!" Steve’s voice sounded from across the parking lot.

Eddie let out a strangled sob and ran across the parking lot. He threw his arms around Steve’s neck, hugging him tightly. Steve was stunned for a moment, but he soon wrapped his arms around Eddie, hugging him back just as tightly. Eddie pulled back slightly, but not out of his arms.

"Oh my God, baby, what happened to your face?" Eddie asked and then sighed. "It's okay. You don't have to talk about it right now. I'm just glad you're okay."

"Steve. . .who is this guy, and why did he just call you baby?" A curly haired boy in a hat asked.

"This must be Dustin," Eddie grinned.

"Oh, you talked about me?" Dustin asked with a grin.

"Dustin, this is Eddie Munson," Steve rolled his eyes.

"Oh! He's the friend you wouldn't shut up about," Dustin said.

"You wouldn't shut up about little old me?" Eddie batted his eyelashes at him and paused. "You can tell your kids, I don't mind."

"Eddie's my boyfriend," Steve said.

"Boyfriend?!" Dustin and the kids exclaimed.

"Eddie, the redhead is Max Mayfield, El Hopper, Lucas Sinclair, Mike Wheeler, and this is - "

"Will, right?" Eddie asked.

"Oh my God! You're the guy from the music store!" Will exclaimed excitedly.

"Huh?" Steve asked.

"Mom! It's that guy from the music store that I told you about!" Will said excitedly. "The one who took the baseball for me!"

A short woman with brown hair and brown eyes came wondering over.

"You're the one who did that for my boy?" She asked.

"Yeah," Eddie said.

"Thank you. I'm Joyce Byers, by the way," she said and hugged him tightly. "Did I just hear you're Steve’s boyfriend?"

"Yes," he said.

"Oh, that's so great. I'm happy for you, Steve. He sounds like a great guy," Joyce said. "You guys are cute."

"Thanks, Joyce," Steve smiled.

"I didn't know you were gay, Steve," Mike said, not unkindly.

"We're bisexual," Steve and Eddie said in unison.

"We like both," Eddie explained when some of them looked confused.

"You can do that?!" Lucas exclaimed.

"Yes, idiot," Max said. "I think it's so cool that you're both bisexual."

"We think so too," Steve said.

He felt Steve leaning against him, and he looked over at him in concern.

"I'm going to get this one to a hospital," Eddie said.

Robin parted her way through the kids and stood on Steve’s other side.

"I'm going with you," Robin said.

"I don't need to go to the hospital," Steve said.

"Yes, dingus, you do," Robin said.

"I'm not taking no for an answer, sweetheart," Eddie said.

"Okay," Steve said as Eddie slipped an arm around his waist.

His uncle was waiting by the van, and he grimaced at the sight of Steve.

"You okay, son?" Wayne asked.

"He will be once he gets to the hospital," Eddie said.

"You must be Wayne. I'm glad to finally meet you. Wish it was under better circumstances, though," Steve said.

"Me too, son," Wayne said and helped Eddie get him into the van.

Robin climbed up front while Eddie climbed in the back with Steve. He pulled him into his arms as Wayne drove off.

"You scared the hell out of me," Eddie whispered.

"Sorry," Steve replied.

"Nothing to apologize for," Eddie said. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too," Steve said.

"Steve - I, uh, - " Eddie said nervously.

"Yeah?" Steve asked.

"I love you," Eddie whispered.

Steve picked his head up and gazed at him. It was true. He loved him. This time, he wasn't going to run away or sabotage it. The only direction he wanted to run to was towards Steve.

"I love you too," Steve said.

Suddenly, there came a loud sniffle from up front.

"Uncle Wayne, are you crying?" Eddie asked.

"No!" Wayne exclaimed, and Eddie cackled. "Shut up, boy!"

Eddie threw his head back and laughed. His life was complete.

[dathen]

One of the weirdest arguments for why people who think Dracula fed on Jonathan are Wrong is that “no one ever thought this before 2022 and no interpretations included it” when there’s a little thing called The Hayes Code. Acting like something that Stoker had to self-censor about in a book published right after the Wilde trials is a 1000% completely neutral topic on par with “what color is Lucy’s hair” or something is just BEYOND baffling to me. Homoerotic subtext has been leeched out of and censored from adaptions of all kinds of stories for ages (where is my Frankenstein adaption that actually includes his intimacy with Henry); all that proves is society’s homophobia.

And then there’s the fact it simply isn’t true. The very first Dracula adaption/spin-off, Nosferatu, had the Count drink from the Jonathan stand-in several times. The scene implying that Dracula fed on Renfield, the 1931 stand-in for Jonathan, almost got censored by movie makers anxious about the homoerotic implications—but the creators pushed it through and refused to cut it. Michael Pink’s Dracula ballet with its incredible sequence of Jonathan struggling with Dracula before being bitten premiered in 1996, just a couple years after the notorious Coppola film that reinforced so much of modern mainstream perception of the story. Freaking Moffat even used it in 2020. This is not an interpretation invented wholesale by Dracula Daily readers on Tumblr Dot Com in 2022.

But on top of that, haven’t we been ranting about how inaccurate and heteronormative adaptions have been this whole time?? How Jonathan’s story in particular is almost never treated with any care or caution, whether by cinema or by academics trying to make him the boring cardboard stand-in for everything wrong with the Victorian era? These are the same adaptions and readings saying that Lucy is a slut who was asking for it and that Mina is in love with Dracula; putting these obscenely heteronormative readings on a pedestal to say “THEY didn’t think Dracula fed on anyone but women, why should we??” is honest to god making my brain dissolve.

I don’t care if anyone personally has a different theory. If you feel that after “tonight is mine!” Dracula changed his mind last-minute and decided to chow on some random worker nailing the boxes shut, knock yourself out. But this weird backlash against the reading and the insistence it’s wrong because it’s not explicit enough on the page isn’t just baffling, it’s downright ignorant.

[raya-hunter01]

Homecoming

One Shot

Carmelo Hayes x Black Female OC! (Kayla)

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut

Summary: Carmelo is nervous about returning to his college alma mater FAMU for its homecoming. An alumni ball between his fellow brother Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity and sister sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha is taking place.

Why is he nervous, you ask? A special someone he took for granted is going and he has no idea how to make things right. Follow Carmelo down memory lane as he tries to figure out how to fix the mess he made. Will Kayla forgive him or will this end in disaster as Trick travels with Carmelo to be his wingman for homecoming weekend.

This was a story request from royalkay23 who gave me the music and ideas that we put together. I hope you enjoy it!

NXT Show

Carmelo POV

“Damn, another night, another show,” I sighed sitting down trying to unwind a bit before I showered and got on the road. Pulling out my phone I checked my messages.

“Damn, I already told Darnell, I was comin’ so what the hell he keep calling for?” I hissed putting in my code to listen to his voicemail.

“Man, I forgot you had a show, I talked to Angela, and she convinced Kayla to come this weekend. You better get ready to do some groveling to get yo’ woman man. I’ll see you down there, later bro,” his voice making my stress levels rise.

What does he mean she’s coming down? Fuck, should I even go? Will she even wanna talk to my ass?

“How did shit get so complicated,” I whispered pinched my nose truly frustrated.

Things used to be so easy; then we made it complicated by giving in to our desires. If only we never crossed that line, we would still be close.

I missed her, I knew the first day I met her that I wanted her to be apart of my life forever.

--------

FAMU Move in day 2019

“Remember we’re gentleman, carry their bags to their rooms. Be welcoming and act like ya’ll got some sense. Give them a couple weeks to get used to campus life before ya’ll start aggravating them,” our oldest fraternity brother Scott said as we all snickered.

“We got you, boss,” I said trying not to laugh as Darnell hit my shoulder trying to hold it together himself.

“No funny business Carmelo, this ain’t an opportunity for you to schedule your next hookup,” Greg hissed as I nodded scoping the parking lot not listening.

“Damn, I got her,” I said pointing to a beautiful young lady standing with her parents about to start pulling luggage outta their trunk. Oh, she bad….Legs and ass for days.

“You ain’t slick, you tryin' to holla at her,” Darnell whispered as I grinned. “I don’t know what you talkin’ about. If ya’ll will excuse me, I’m going to see if they need some help,” I said quickly making myself scarce before anybody could get a word in.

Making my way over to the family I couldn’t help but hear her mom fussing over leaving her daughter here. Smiling, I listened quietly trying to give them a minute before I interrupted.

“Mama, I will be fine,” she said reassuring her mother as they had her surrounded in a group hug.  “You go to your classes and back to your dorm, these folks are a little too wild,” her mom said looking at a couple making out not far from us as I snickered.

 Sorry mama, that’s something I wouldn’t mind doin’ to your daughter…Damn, Melo play it cool…

“Mama, I can handle it, I’m not going to be out here actin’ a fool but I will have fun sometime,” the Carmel beauty said being honest with her parents as her dad smiled.

“As you should, all work and no play sucks, babe give her a break. We raised her right,” her dad said as her mom took a deep breath.

“Yes, ya’ll did, now trust me,” she pleaded with a beautiful smile. Damn, a smile that could start a full-blown war….

 “I do trust you, baby, it’s just it’s your first time away from home, and I’m worried,” her mom said looking around at their surroundings.

“Have you talked to your little boyfriend who couldn’t bother to be here,” her dad said with disgust.

“Daddy, Justin is getting ready to go to college too. It’s ok, he’s going to come up soon,” she said her tone trying to keep the conversation light and positive.

Well, let me introduce myself, maybe that can change the subject, it seemed the mysterious beauty didn’t want to talk about it.

“Excuse me, do you guys need some help?” I asked said as she turned around and instantly blushed when we made eye contact.  

Damn she fine, fine, ok act like a gentleman and don’t embarrass yourself.

“Hi! Um, I guess we do,” she said looking around at all her things on the ground and in the trunk.

“What’s your name son?” her dad asked, as I grinned.

“I’m Carmelo, and I’m from the Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, sir. I’m apart of the fraternity welcoming committee. We help students move in on campus,” I said shaking her dad’s hand as he smiled at him.

“An Alpha man! I like that, I pledged to that fraternity when I was in college, my daughter here is a junior transfer and is pledging to your sister sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha,” he said proudly as my ears perked up at the new information.

“You don’t have to tell everybody, Daddy, I might not even make it. Hi, I’m Kayla,” she said shaking my hand as I felt myself falling into those beautiful brown eyes.

“It’s always nice to meet a fellow sister, welcome to the family,” I said gently kissing her hand. Her mother scoffed, clearing her throat and interrupting our moment as I reluctantly let go of her hand as her dad laughed.

 “It’s nice to meet you as well ma’am,” I said taking her mother's hand in mine, kissing it as her smirk grew by the second.

 “Oh, you charming, stay away from this one Kayla,” her mom said as I smiled nervously at her…Alright, don’t let her see you sweat.

“Uh, let’s get you moved in Kayla,” I said trying to change the subject, helping her dad pick up some of her bags. “I would love that,” she said smiling brightly at me.

 For the next hour, I tried to learn all I could about her as we moved her into her dorm.

Her phone also had been ringing nonstop, but she ignored it. “He knows I’m movin’ so why blow me up like this. I’ll call him back in a minute,” she said as we carried up the last of her things.

 “When you do….Tell him he should have brought his ass here to help us move you in if he wanted to know what you are doing every fuckin’ second of the day,” her mom said as Kayla rolled her eyes behind her back.

Poor thing was getting it from all ends, I could see she needed a break from her mother, and it seemed her boyfriend.

Her parents walking ahead of us into her dorm gave me a chance to be nosey.

“Is that you and your man?” I asked, pointing at the wallpaper on her phone. Looking at the photo seemed to have her conflicted, almost nervous.

“Uh, yeah he is, we’ve been together for two years,” Kayla said as I observed her uneasiness.

“Ok, well maybe when he comes to visit, ya’ll can come check out one of our parties. We throw the best ones on campus,” I said trying to make conversation not wanting it to end as I sat her bags down inside.

“That would be cool, thank you for helping us, maybe I’ll see you around,” Kayla said as I felt the excitement dancing in my chest.

“Yeah, you definitely will, might as well call me your new best friend,” I said turning on the charm as she laughed.

“Well, maybe I’ll see you around best friend,” Kayla joked as I walked out of her dorm with a pep definitely in my step.

Senior year was definitely shaping up.

------

“Aye, you planning to shower or what?” Trick asked bringing me out of my thoughts. “Yeah, I am, just was thinking about Kayla and if I want to go to the Alumni ball,” I said as Trick sat down in front of me and stared intently.

“Well, you deserve to have fun too, maybe ya’ll can talk and work this shit out. I mean it’s been four years, she can’t still be mad,” he said as I sighed.

“I said some fucked up shit that I can’t take back, I don’t even know how to approach her,” I said feeling helpless.

“You go up to her, apologize, and try to make it right. That’s all you can do,” Trick said as I stood up shuffling around the room gathering my things.

“Thanks, man maybe it’ll all work out and I’ll have fun this weekend,” I said as Trick smiled.

“Now that’s it, be positive and have fun this weekend. I’ll even go with you and be your wingman.  I can tell you when to talk and when to shut the hell up, 'cause you talk too much sometimes,” Trick said as I laughed truly thankful for him and our friendship.

“Well, I might take you up on that, let me shower so we can hit the road,” I said heading to the showers.

“Aye, you gon’ get her back, you just gotta shoot your shot!” I heard Trick yell as I started my shower.

I truly hoped so but for now, I had to be realistic, I had a lot of groveling to do, and I was prepared to do it if it meant Kayla could be in my life again.

---

Delata Flight 193

Kayla’s POV

“Angela, I’m going to have fun and stroll with my sorors. I’m not going to resurrect issues from four years ago,” I said as she rolled her eyes at me.

“Ya’ll two need to talk and squash this shit, you know he didn’t mean it. He was jealous because he was in love with you…Still in love with you might I add,” she said as I scoffed.

“In love…..Carmelo…… Girl bye!” I exclaimed rolling my eyes. “Even if he was in love with me, it don’t make it right what he did.  Have a conversation like an adult and not say spiteful shit. And can we just drop this conversation, you are ruining my buzz,” I said finishing my glass of champagne as Angela sighed grabbing her phone.

Damn, I guess she was going to be team Carmelo all weekend. Love my ass.

“So, he wrestles, that’s cool,” Angela said as I looked over and saw her scrolling through Carmelo’s Instagram as I smiled.

Many of our late-night talks about our dreams began to invade my mind. He was always passionate about wrestling so it didn’t shock me that he made it to the WWE.

Leaning back in my seat I sighed trying to get in the right head space for this weekend. I wanted to have a good time, it would even be better if I could avoid him.

“Girl, he got to work with the undertaker, look!” Angela exclaimed as I leaned back over and looked at his latest Instagram post on her phone.

“That’s awesome,” I whispered happy him. He looked so happy. As she scrolled to the next picture My focus went to the tattoo of an eye on his upper arm, it seemed to stir something in me, but I didn’t know what.  

I felt like I knew the meaning of it but I couldn’t piece it together as I looked at the beautiful tattoo of a woman’s eye with makeup smudged. Angela quickly swiped to the next post before I could truly process it.

“So, are you going to talk to him this weekend? Angela asked as I sat back in my seat and closed my eyes trying to tune her out.

“No, I have no desire to talk to him, I’m over it,” I said as she laughed. 

“Bullshit, you were in love with Carmelo, and you still are,” she countered as I snapped my head back looking at her wearing a frown.

“Don’t look at me like that, you gon’ put your big girl panties on this weekend, and get yo' man back,” Angela said with determination as I shook my head.

“He was never my man Angela; we just were two friends who had sex one night and it ruined our friendship. Worse mistake ever, I should have taken my ass home that night,” I said smartly as Angela sucked on her teeth.

“Nah, I don’t agree with that. Ya’ll were two friends who loved each other and were scared. He self-destructed jumping to conclusions and you were hurt by his assumptions,” Angela said as I got my air pods out of my purse.

“I’m done talkin’ about Carmelo, I’m takin’ a nap now,” I said putting my air pods in, turning my music on low.

“I know you can hear me so I’ma say this. I know he was wrong, but I think you are takin’ the one bad thing he did and erasing all the good. It wasn’t always bad Kayla and one mistake shouldn’t define him or his love for you, or your love for him,” Angela said as I continued to tune her out.

Yes, he did a lot of great things for me, I couldn’t deny it. Did the good truly outweigh the bad?

---

Crossing Day 2019

Kayla’s POV

This is supposed to be an amazing night for me, but I feel shitty. It’s nothing but chaos all around me as I see Carmelo and some of his fraternity brothers helping set up the stage for our ceremony that starts in an hour. I hate we got a late start.

My phone ringing for damn near the tenth time within the last thirty minutes is pissing me off as I see Justin’s number.

“What do you want Justin?” I asked, truly fed up, especially after the bomb he dropped this morning.

“I just wanted to make sure you were good,” he said as I pulled the phone away from my ear in disbelief.

“Justin, how am I good? You called me this morning to tell me you’re not coming. You knew how important this was to me,” I said trying to keep my emotions in check not wanting to mess up my makeup.

“It’s not that big a deal, it’s just a sorority thing,” he said as I felt the tears coming. “Really, so something I want to do isn’t important to you. Even though everything you do, I come and support you,” I said raising my voice as Carmelo made his way towards me.

“You ok Kayla?” he asked as shook my head, sighing as he put a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Who is that? Is that your so-called homeboy, I shoulda known his ass was there. I ain’t blind I know ya’ll like each other,” Justin hissed.  

“Look, I got to get ready, I need to get my mind together,” I said trying to end the call.

“Well, that’s cold, you don’t even wanna talk about it. You must be spreadin’ your legs for his ass. Maybe we just need to call this shit off,” he said as I scoffed knowing where this was going.

Gaslighting 101, chapter five, Hide Your Guilt and Accuse Her of What You Are Actually Doing.

This bastard was cheating, and I knew exactly who it was with.

“You know I’m not cheating on you. Just grow a set and tell me you want to break up instead of playing games Justin. I know you sleeping with Regina, the jig is up, ok,” I said as the line got quiet.  

“Look, it ain’t about her, I’m just sayin’ maybe we just need to end this. Experience new people and just have fun, I don’t want to be tied down right now Kayla,” he said as I took a deep breath and looked at Carmelo, who gave me a nod of encouragement.

"I'm here Kay," he whispered as I fought back tears. He was always there to pick up the pieces and wipe my tears.

“Justin, why did you have to do this today? It could have been any other day but today. Look, just lose my number because you’re officially blocked, it's over,” I said hanging up and blocking his number as Carmelo took me in his arms and I broke down.

 “Hey, I got you,” he whispered as I cried. “I don’t think I can do this today,” I cried as his strong arms pulled me closer.

“Oh, yes you can and will because you have worked hard for this. Today is your day, don’t let him take that away from you,” Carmelo said as I nodded slightly pulling away a sad smile adorning my face as he carefully wiped my tears.

“No more tears, go get ready. I’m excited to hear your Crossing Introduction tonight. I know it’s gon' be fire, just like you, and make sure to shake that beautiful hair for me,” he said gently playing with my freshly silked-out hair.

“Ok, I’ll make sure to remember that,” I said reluctantly stepping back as Angela came running up.

“Girl, ya’ll can flirt later, we need to finish getting ready. See you in a few Melo,” she said pulling me away as I laughed.

“Never change Angela, and congrats!” he yelled as she waved back at him.

These two are a mess but it was time. It was time to step into my sorority destiny.

Everything seemed like such a blur as we waited in line with our heads down. I was getting more nervous as each new soror went before the crowd introducing themselves.

Focus Kayla you did well on the march, now it’s time to let them know who you are.

“Alright Kayla let’em know,” my new fellow Soror whispered as I smiled, tossing my head back and whipping my hair back and forth as the crowd screamed. Here goes nothing…

Stepping out of line and going to the front of the stage I felt nervous till I looked out and saw Carmelo about three rows back smiling at me.

“My…… Name….. is!” I shouted, loud and clear pausing between each word.

“What’s your name?!” the crowd asked as I smiled and began moving my body and hands in sync with my words.

“Kayla!”

“Yea!” (crowd)

“Belle!”

“Yea!”

The crowd participating as I said my name had my heart racing. Pausing, taking in the moment, I saw Carmelo wink at me.

Giving him a sexy smirk, I tossed my head back and began shaking my hair again just for him.

“Peaches!”

“Yea!”

 Slowly lowering my head, I paused, building excitement as they waited to hear what my last name was.

“Taylor!”

“Yea!”

“And I am from the Peach State, the one and only Atlanta, GA! And this Georgia Peach has joined this great sorority and I’m this line’s number 17! I shouted with pride bending down into our stroll stance with a bright smile.

Finally releasing the breath I was holding, my eyes found Carmelo again as he licked his lips. His gaze grew more intense as Darnell whispered something to him.

Were they talking about me? I saw Carmelo dap him up sharing a mutual nod before he turned his attention back to me and winked.

"A'ight Peaches, I see you Ms. AKA!" he shouted as I smiled getting back in line.

Yes, it was over! I had done it!… I was an AKA….

----

Later that night

Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity House

Carmelo’s Room

“You sure you good?” Carmelo asked as I sat my drink down and curled up next to him on the couch. “I’m fine, thanks for being there tonight,” I said glancing up at him as he seemed to be in deep thought.

“It’s no problem, it was no other place I’d rather be,” he whispered caressing my face as I felt myself melting under his gaze.

“What are we doing?” I whispered as his lips slowly descended towards mine.  “What we've always wanted to do,” he whispered gently taking my lips in a kiss as I moaned in pleasure.

“We can’t, I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” I whimpered against his lips as his arms encircled my waist pulling me onto his lap.

Feeling his hardness underneath me had me shook. He was hard from just a simple kiss.

 “Mmhm, you feel that Kay? That's what you do to me," Carmelo whispered as I shivered. "Melo we can't," I pleaded as he silenced me with another kiss.

"We both want this, stop fighting it, baby. It won’t change anything, we'll still be us,” Carmelo whispered, his sexy voice casting a powerful spell over me.

 Looking into his beautiful brown eyes I saw nothing but the truth in his words. Kayla just let go and give in to what you want.

"Tonight...Just for tonight," I whispered as Carmelo's grip on me tightened. "I got you," he whispered slowly undressing me.

I felt shy, as he tossed my dress, anxiously over his shoulder before caressing my breasts. “You are so beautiful, just everything I imagined you’d be and more,” Carmelo whispered kissing my neck as I moaned in pleasure, his masterful hands making quick work of my bra.

 His words eased my nervousness and awakened the boldness in me.

Playing with the waistband of his sweats, Carmelo bit back a moan in anticipation. “Go ahead baby, you can touch it. I want you too,” Carmelo moaned as I purred at his words.

Nervously stroking him, his moans urged me on as his mouth feasted upon my neck. “Mmm, yes,” I moaned continuing to stoke him as he slid my thong to the side.

“You got a condom?” I whispered into the air as he nodded, reaching over, fiddling around in the drawer of the small lamp table beside us, as I claimed his lips in a powerful kiss.

His moan of triumph as he retrieved the condom and ripped it open made me tremble against him.

 “Let me,” I whispered against his lips, climbing off his lap, slowly sinking to my knees, holding his gaze I slowly placed the condom over the tip of his length.

Damn he was way bigger than Justin, it caused me to pause in my actions and stare.  

“Don't be scared, I'ma make you feel real good baby. I promise, now gon’ put it on and come take a ride,” Carmelo groaned, picking up on my nervousness as continued to stroke him.

My pussy quivered at his words; it excited me. Using my mouth, I slide the condom down over his hardened length as he bit back a growl, entangling his fingers in my hair.

“Shit! It’s like that baby?” Carmelo moaned, looking at me in amazement.  “Uh huh,” I moaned looking at him, while taking him deeper into my mouth

“Got dammmn Kay,” Carmelo hissed as his head fell back against the couch in pleasure. “You like that,” I whispered as he looked at me through hooded eyes. “Hell yea, I love it but if you don’t stop, this gon’ be over before it starts,” Carmelo panted as I smirked releasing him.

“Mmm, I wouldn't want that, ” I whispered climbing back on his lap nibbing on his neck as he growled grasping my hips, slowly inch by inch filling my wet center with his hardened length until he was to the hilt.  Our moans of satisfaction filled the tiny room.

“Fuck, you feel better than I ever dreamed,” Carmelo groaned against my neck as I began to ride him.  “Mm, you too,” I confessed wrapping my arms around his neck as he began meeting my thrusts in desperate need.

“Yea, ride… Mmhm ride dat shit……Just like that Kayla,” Carmelo moaned encouraging me as we chased our end. “Promise me nothing changes….Mmm,Melo!” I exclaimed as he began gently massaging my clit with his thumb as I used his shoulders to steady myself bouncing with a purpose.

 “Mmhm, nothin’ gon’ change, I promise Kay. Now let’s get this nut together baby,” he whispered as he took me higher and higher. “Yes! Melo, Mmhm I’m ready!” I cried as I rotated my hips against him hearing a low growl escape his lips that began to grow in volume as we shared each other’s love.

That’s what it was, love and it was scaring the hell outta me and by the look on Carmelo’s face I could tell it was scaring him too.

“Kay…Kay..Fuck!” Carmelo moaned, finally finding words as we were reaching our end.  “I know, God I know," I moaned shuttering against him as our lips met in desperation.

“I’m cummin!” I whined against his lips as he caressed his tongue with mine, deepening our kiss.

“I’m right there with you,” he moaned as we exploded together. Collapsing against his shoulder I struggled to catch my breath as he held me tight.

For awhile, nothing was said as I relaxed in Carmelo's arms. I felt overwhelmed, I knew I had messed up…I had fallen hard for him.  I felt my tears coming as Carmelo caressed my back.

“Don’t cry Kay, we good. See you doin' all this cryin' lately, I'ma have to get a tattoo of a tear on this shoulder. Better yet, ima put your whole eye up there with the makeup smudges and all," Carmelo said kissing my shoulder.

“See why you gotta tease me,” I said caressing his arms as he sighed.

“Look at me Kay,” Carmelo said lifting my head off his shoulder wiping my tears.

I would never tease you. I’m just glad you trusted me and allowed me to be there to catch your tears,” Carmelo whispered caressing my face, placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

Yep….We fucked up….Big time.

---

“We're about to land Kayla,” I heard Angela say as I opened my eyes taking in my surroundings.

“I’m sorry I just meant to catch a small nap, not sleep the whole flight,” I said taking my air pods out and putting my seatbelt back. on.

“You good girl, it ain’t nothing like listening to music and letting it take you away,” she said smiling at me.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I said trying to shake the memories that were clouding my mind, and the other pieces of the puzzle coming together had me feeling overwhelmed.

Pulling my phone back out I went to WWE.com, turning slightly in my seat so Angela couldn't see. I would never hear the end of this if she knew I was looking at Carmelo's photos but I needed to see the picture again.

In my search, I found an article with the picture in question attached with several other backstage shots. I began skimming through the article and a question threw me for a loop.

WWE.com Exclusive

"So, what is the significance behind this tattoo of the eye with what seems to be makeup smudged?"

"I got it about three years ago, I got it to remind me of a special someone I knew in college. She was my best friend and my number one supporter. She encouraged me to chase my dreams, and I never forgot that."

"Well, are you two still in touch?"

"Uh, no we aren't, but who knows what the future holds."

---

“I can't believe he really got that tattoo,” I muttered to myself in disbelief. “Who got what tattoo?” Angela asked leaning over, trying to look at my phone as I quickly opened another tab.

“Uh, nobody I know, I was just thinking about the dream I just had,” I said which technically I wasn't stretching the truth very much. My memories with Carmelo were creeping into my brain and it scared me.

“I hope it was a good dream to start your weekend because we gon’ have fun these next few days,” she said as I sighed.

Girl, if you only knew I would rather be anywhere than Florida this weekend. This was dangerous, I had to keep my guard up.

Maybe I should have just stayed home.

---

The Next Day

PHIRSTPHAM Cookout

Carmelo’s POV

“Damn, it’s thick out here,” Trick said as I grabbed us a beer. “Yea, they partyin’ hard, half of them probably ain’t making it to the ball,” I laughed looking around trying to find Kayla. 

“Aye, didn’t her homegirl tell you they’d be here?  I’ma need you to chill man,” Trick said as I tried to shake my nerves still looking around.

“I know I’m jus…just,” I said stuttered as I spotted her. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Trick asked turning around to see what had me shook.

“Damn, is that her?” he asked smiling as I nodded still unable to speak.  “You stupid as fuck if I may say so myself,” Trick whispered shaking his head as I growled.

“Look you ain’t gotta rub it in, you supposed to be helping me, and stop looking at her like that,” I hissed as Trick shrugged his shoulders.

“I am here to help you but I ain’t dead. Is that her friend?” Trick asked pointing at Angela. “Yea, that’s her, a straight pain in the ass but I adore her,” I said as Darnell came running up.

“Ooou! I know you see yo’ girl, she out here serving body for days!” Darnell exclaimed as Trick smirked.

“Man shut the fuck up,” I said seething as he laughed. “Now is that how you talk to your frat brother who just talked to the DJ and he’s about to play our favorite stroll with the AKAs,” he said as my eyes widened in shock.

“I know you didn’t,” I whispered as he smiled. “Yep, so get ready,” he said taking off towards the crowd.

"This idiot here is just fuckin’ stupid,” I said as Trick seemed confused. “What’s the issue, I mean a dance can’t hurt nobody,” he said as I sighed.

“In the stroll, I lead the Alphas and Kayla leads the AKAs,” I said as Trick's eyes lit up. “Oh, shit that’s perfect, maybe it will break the ice with Kayla,” he said as I drank the rest of my beer.

“If anything it may entice her to choke my ass out for being so close to her, but I guess I ain’t gotta choice,” I said as I heard the opening cords of Knuck if you buck by Crime Mob

“Class of 2020 and 2021 I need you on the floor it’s your time to shine,” the MC said as I saw the girls already dancing falling in line behind Kayla as she smiled brightly swinging her hips and arms.

“Aye, you betta get yo’ ass over there,” Trick said as Darnell was waving me over as I went to join my frat brothers.

“Taking my place in line across from Kayla felt weird as she seemed to not pay me any attention as she strolled with her line sisters.

“Let’s get it fellas!” I shouted blowing my whistle as we began steppin’ in sync with the girls doing our own stroll.

I saw Kayla look over at me in shock for a second before she recovered and continued leading her line sisters.

“Knuck if you buck!” Angela screamed as the AKAs kneeled deeper in their stance, killin’ it.

“I see ya’ll!” I heard someone yell as I cracked a smile.  It felt good to stroll with my frat brothers and most of all Kay.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of her as she danced, whipping her hair back and forth almost teasing me. She knows what that shit does to me.  Trying to refocus I cut my eyes towards Angela as she smirked at me.

“Yeah, act like you know! Stop playin’ wit her, take us on out Peaches!" she yelled, swinging her arms as Kayla smiled, walking as only she could pretending one of her hands was a mirror as she fluffed her beautiful hair with the other.

The crowd parted, cheering them on while allowing them to pass as we followed closely behind them.

Damn, Kayla still could command a room like no other. “Uh, you can thank me now,” Darnell said as I looked back at him and rolled my eyes getting out of the line, trying to find Kayla again.

Kayla’s POV “We still got it, that was fun,” Angela said as I laughed. “Girl, AKAs gon’ always bring that heat,” I said smiling at her. “I know you saw him, so when ya’ll gon’ talk,” Angela said as I sighed.  

Jeez can I have a moments piece without somebody telling me to talk to Carmelo.

“I didn’t see Carmelo, what are you talking about?” I said playing dumb.

“Oh, so you don’t know me now,” Carmelo said as I sighed looking at the amusement dancing in Angela’s eyes as I slowly turned to face him.

"I’ll let ya’ll two talk," Angela said practically running away as I scoffed. “I hate you!” I hissed as she laughed.

“Look can go talk, I think we both can agree it’s overdue and we don’t want to make a scene here,” Carmelo said as I looked around at everyone having a good time.

“Fine, but I’m not going far,” I said following him through the crowd as he led me to the side of the building.

The silence was defining as we both were trying to think of words to say to each other. It had been three years since we last saw each other after all.

I don’t know what came over me but I slapped him as hard as I could the sound echoing around us as Carmello stumbled rubbing the side of his face.

“A’ight I deserved that,” he said as I took a deep breath trying to not make a fool outta myself. I couldn’t let him know how he truly broke me.

“Yes, you did and more. You’re lucky that’s all you got from me,” I said as Carmelo raised his hands in surrender.  “Kay, I know I hurt you and I’m sorry,” he said as I looked at him my expression unreadable.

“It's Kayla to you, only my friends call me Kay. Look, can you make this quick, I got something to do,” I said folding my arms over my chest.

“So is this how it’s gon’ be the whole weekend, you just ignoring me. I’m trying to apologize, Kayla,” Carmelo said as I tried to wrangle in my feelings.

“Why are you apologizing to a whore. I mean that’s what you said I was right?” I said as a look of defeat and horror crossed his face.

“I didn’t mean it if you would just let me talk,” he started as I cut him off.

“I’m just a needy whore that will ride any dick right,” I said slightly raising my voice as he cringed at my words.

“Look, I was drunk, and I said some shit I didn’t mean alright. You know I lo—,” Carmelo's voice trailed off as he looked down unable to look at me. What was he going to say?

“Carmelo, being drunk ain’t no excuse, I thought you were my best friend!” I exclaimed frustrated that I was letting him get to me.

I am your best friend! Regardless of how you feel about me, you are my best friend Kayla and I miss you. Can you please just forgive me? he pleaded as I tried to walk away. "Carmelo, please stop," I begged trying to walk away as he blocked my path. "Say you can forgive me, please," Carmelo pleaded, his eyes drawing me in as they stared into my soul. I couldn't look away if I wanted.

“Kay, you know I didn’t mean it, can we just agree to talk sometime before we both leave Sunday,” he pleaded as I finally nodded, not trusting my words as I saw Angela walking over.

“Hey, ya’ll good, Kay?" she asked rubbing my shoulder as I held back tears.

“Uh, yeah we were just talking about not letting the drama of the past ruin the weekend," I said wiping a few stray tears that had fallen as Carmelo sighed in relief.

“Well thank God, we all deserve a good weekend of fun,” she said my eyes still focused on Carmelo as he glanced quickly at the tattoo on his shoulder before looking back at me.

I felt a shiver run down my spine, as I tried to shake it off.

“Well, uh, I’ll let ya’ll get back to the party and I will see ya’ll tonight hopefully,” he said giving me a hug, catching me off guard.

Carmelo’s POV

I knew I was pushing it but I couldn't help it. I had to hold her in my arms. Come on beautiful hug me back.

I couldn’t let her go until she hugged me back.

I felt her trembling hands touch my back as I sighed in relief pulling her closer. “I’ma make it right, just let me please. I’m sorry Kay,” I whispered in her ear as I felt her relax against me. Angela smiled at me before leaving us alone.

"You hurt me, Mel," Kayla whispered as I felt my heart sink. “I wish I could take it back, baby,” I whispered honestly.

I didn’t know what else to say, I had played the scenario over and over in my head a thousand times. How different everything could have been if I had just told her how I felt that night. If I did, we wouldn’t be in this shit now.

“I need to go," Kayla whispered pulling away as I felt empty again.

"Yeah, me too, I hope I see you tonight," I said as she flashed a half smile.

"Maybe, I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there," she said not looking me in the eye slowly walking back back to the party.

Don't give up on me yet beautiful I whispered watching her walk away from me and carrying my heart right along with her.

----

Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity House

End-of-Year Party

Carmelo’s POV

It was the last party of the year, graduation was near but Kayla was occupying my mind.

We kept our word, after our night nothing changed. We woke up that next morning and went back into our regular routine. Two best friends who adored each other.

 I had gone out with a few girls since then and Kayla was into her sorority life and wasn’t dating.

She had told me how she wanted to heal from the breakup with Justin before she dated anybody. I can’t help but admit I wanted more, and no girl could compare to her but I didn’t even know how to tell her.

"Let me get this straight 'cause you are confusing the fuck outta me. You like Kayla, but instead of telling her you bring Robin to this party. The girl who has made her life hell since she joined the AKAs. You stupid as fuck,” Darnell scoffed hitting me on the back of the head.

"Shit, you didn’t have to hit me, I know I’m wrong,” I said rubbing my head as I saw Kayla on the dancing floor dancing with Angela as I saw Anthony approach them.

"What the fuck is he doin'?" I hissed seeing my frat brother whisper in Kayla’s ear as she blushed, nodding as he pulled her away from Angela and they began dancing.

“Looks like he knows a beautiful woman when he sees one and he asked her to dance,” Darnell said as I growled.

“Fuckin’ freshman thinking he can come in here and do what he wants. Let me set his ass straight,” I hissed finishing my beer.

“Um, why can’t he ask her to dance? She’s single and so is he," Darnell said as I stormed past him not wanting to talk to his ass anymore.

Soon as I got closer Robin slid in front of me catching me off guard. "Hey, I have been looking for you, let’s dance," she said throwing her arms around me as I reluctantly danced with her.

I didn't know how to feel as Kayla looked at me in shock and uncertainty as Robin and I danced. I knew by her eyes she was hurt by my dating choice of the night.

Sighing I tried to play it cool as our eyes seemed to fall deeper into each other before she laid her head on Anthony’s shoulder avoiding my gaze as he seemed to be enjoying it a little too much for my liking.

"Motherfucka," I whispered as Robin pulled back looking at me. "What’s wrong babe?" She asked as I played it off. " Uh, nothin’ let’s go upstairs after this song. I know better things we could be doin', " I said as her eyes lit up.

Yea, I was wrong but I didn’t care at the moment.

"Hands up here now," I heard Kayla say as she moved Anthony's hands back to her waist. He had been trying to caress her ass.

"I'm sorry beautiful," he said as I saw red, I don’t even know what came over me as I stepped away from Robin and went towards them.

"What are you doing!? I know you ain't going over there, she don't need you to save her!" Robin hissed following me. Hell I don’t even know what I’m doing, but I know he ain’t gon’ be touchin’ on her like that.

"Aye, you need to keep your hands to yourself," I said interrupting their dance gently grabbing her arm and moving her behind me as I stepped in Anthony’s face.

"What is your problem, Melo?! We were just dancing," Kayla said as Anthony smirked.

"Ain’t it obvious, he can’t take somebody else takin’ an interest in you Kay, he just wants you to be his little plaything," Anthony said as I grabbed him by the collar snatching his ass up.

"My problem is every time I turn around yo’ bitch ass tryin’ to take something that belongs to me,” I hissed dangerously low as he laughed. "Oh, so she's yours huh," Anthony taunted as the music stopped and people began to stare.

"Let me talk to you for a minute," Kayla whispered grabbing my hand, as I let go of Anthony. I was getting more pissed by the second looking at his cocky ass.

"I know you new freshman, so you don't know me. Keep smirking, I'll knock all your fuckin' teeth out," I hissed, his smirk dropping instantly.

"No your not, let's go," Kayla said steering me towards the stairs as the music started back up.

"Don’t you go up there with her Carmelo! If you do I’m going home!" Robin yelled following us upstairs as Kayla rolled her eyes.

"Just go home, I'll call you later Robin," I said trying to not cause a scene seeing a few people were still looking at us.

"I’m serious, you go in there don't ever call me again," she said as Kayla opened my door pushing me inside before turning to face her.

"Good! It'll save him a trip to the free clinic! Anybody fucking you ends up with something bleach can't wash off and a ten day perscription of penicillin, Bye, irrelevant!" Kayla yelled slamming the door in Robins's face as I heard her scream on the other side of the door before walking away.  

"Aye, you didn’t have to be so rude," I said as Kayla laughed sarcastically.

" Really, you wanna talk about rude. All I was doing was dancing with him and you come over acting like an asshole," she said as I invaded her space pushing her up against my door towering over her.

"I’m sorry ok, I just saw him touchin’ you and I wasn’t thinking," I said honestly caressing her face as she nervously bit her lip before my lips gently grazed hers.

"We need to talk Mel," she whispered as I groaned reluctantly stepping away from her. She was right we needed to talk badly but I didn't want to do it now.

"Ok, what are we talking about?" I asked frustrated the moment was ruined as she looked at me in disbelief.

"Are you serious?  Well, let’s talk about why all of a sudden you actin’ like you my man," Kaylas said as I sighed feeling the anger in me boiling. She couldn’t see that I liked her.

 "We’re friends Carmelo, remember that night wasn’t supposed to change us," she rambled running her hands through her hair, pacing.

"I know what we agreed on, I ain’t dumb!" I yelled as a knock on the door interrupted us.

"I heard yelling….Are you ok in there, Kayla?" Angela asked as she tried to calm her breathing before she responded.

The last thing I needed was Angela bustin’ up in here making matters worse.

"Yeah, I’m good I’ll be down in a minute so we can go," Kayla said as Angela tried to open the door.  

"She’s fine Angela, damn!" I hissed as Kayla sighed. "Don’t get no attitude with me 'cause you fucking stupid. Jealous ass, I’ll be downstairs Kayla,” Angela said as quietness filled the room.

"What are we doin'? This isn’t us, why are we arguing with each other Carmelo. What’s really wrong?” Kayla asked.

Ok, tell her how you feel…This may be your last chance.

" I’m cool, we’re cool. I’m just trying to say before you put yourself back out there, just know women can’t do what men do," I said as Kayla frowned at me.

"What are you tryin' to say?" she asked as I tried to choose my words wisely. "I don’t want a bad reputation following you, I mean all it takes is you opening your legs to one of these idiots and then you are labeled as a whore," I said as I saw the flash of anger cross her beautiful face.

Fuck, I opened the gates of hell.

"Are you saying I’m a whore!?" Kayla exclaimed as I growled. "No! I ain’t sayin’ you’re a whore! I’m sayin’ don’t be out here in these streets grinding up on these clowns like a needy whore that will ride anybody’s dick," I said as Kayla reached up and slapped the fuck outta me.

How dare you? I wasn't grinding on no motherfuckin' body, we were just dancing. Meanwhile, you fuck anything with a gash and me simply just dancing with someone leads to a conversation as to how you don’t want me to be a whore..You're unbelievable," Kayla said throwing her hands up in frustration as I rubbed my face.

"Look, I ain’t gon’ argue with you. I said what I said and if you don’t like it, you can leave. I’m sure Anthony is ready to make you his new little plaything anyway. I’m sure he’ll love that lil trick you do with your mouth,” I said not believing the words coming out of my mouth.

I was supposed to be telling her I loved her, but here I was spewing venom towards her because another man was interested in her.

"I tell you what, I’d rather be his plaything than your so-called best friend?  Hell, maybe he can actually satisfy me better than you did, so fuck you! she yelled storming out of my room, slamming the door behind her.

"DAMN ITTTT!!" I yelled sinking into the couch as I realized the finality of my words.

I had lost my best friend and the woman I loved.

-----

"Aye, earth to Melo! I heard Darnell yell as I cringed. "Stop yelling, I heard you," I said trying to get myself together. " I saw ya'll talking is everything good now? he asked as I smiled.

" We're gonna get together before the weekend is over," I said honestly feeling a little about the weekend. "That’s good to hear, hopefully, ya’ll move past this,” he said as we went back to join the party.

I hoped so, I knew one thing was for certain tonight was the time to shoot my shot and I planned on making my intentions loud and clear.

I wanted Kayla and nothing was going to stop me from telling her this time, not even myself.

------

liked by darnellAlpha, AKAangelaLove, @Carmelo_wwe, and 1,000 others

KaylaAKA4Life: Enjoying this weekend and living life to the fullest with my Sorority sisters and fellow Alpha brothers. Let's Party Ya'll! #AKAsDoItBetter #FAMUHomecoming2023 #FAMUAlumni

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-----

PHIRSTPHAM ALUMNI BALL

Kayla's POV

“Angela thank you so much for helping me find a dress,” I said looking myself over in the mirror as she touched up her makeup.

The Emerald gold hue colored dress looked good on me. The dress being off the shoulder with the built in bra enhanced the beauty of it. Also, who could go wrong with showin' a little leg. Yea, I’m wearing the hell outta this dress right now if I may say so.

“Yea, I was gonna comment on your Instagram post, but you disabled your comments bitch,” she said as I shrugged my shoulders.

“Yes, I did because when Carmelo liked it I kind of panicked. I knew he was going to comment next, then his fans would see it and I ain’t with all that attention,”  I said as Angela nodded in agreement.

“Ah, I get it, I actually don’t blame you on that one,” she said as we made our way back into the dining hall. The night had been going well but I was getting ready to soon leave.

Two hours was enough for me and I hadn’t seen Carmelo yet so my nerves were a little on edge. I can’t believe how just a hug from him was breaking down the walls I had built up. But for now, I’m going to enjoy the rest of my weekend.

“Heeeyyy, the party jumpin’ now,” I said looking at the crowded dance floor. “Gril, here come Anthony, don’t look,” Angela said as I sighed truly not in the mood.

“Damn,I was hoping he wouldn’t see me,” I whispered. I knew he was going to ask me to dance. Now don’t get me wrong, “I’ll give all my love to you” by Keith Sweat is one of my favorite songs but I ain’t dancing with his ass.

After the blow up with Carmelo I pretty much stayed away from his frat house all together. That didn’t stop Anthony from spreading rumors that he and I had slept together. So, yea I had to rock his shit one good time too.

“You ladies look amazing,” he said sizing us up as Angela cleared her throat. “Thanks, Anthony” I said as he smiled brightly at me.

“Kayla, may I have this dance?” he asked as I felt someone grab my hand gently bringing it to their lips. I actually sighed in relief seeing it was Carmelo as he smiled at me.

“She’s with me Anthony, ain't nothin' changed Bruh. Let's go Kay, I owe you a dance,” Carmelo said smoothly steering me away as Angela smiled.

“Well ok then Melo, come through boo,” Angela said as I blushed. She always hyping him up in his bullshit.

“Thank you, I was about to have a flashback and was probably gon’ rock his ass again like I did you earlier,” I said as he laughed pulling me close on the dance floor as we danced.

Carmelo’s POV

Step one complete I had her in my arms again our foreheads touching as I caressed her waist swaying to the music. She felt so good, this was a dream it had to be.

I love you in the night

I wanna take it real real slow, my baby

I understand what you told me

And if I, I didn't know

I always wanted someone just like you

“Thank you for dancing with me,” I whispered as she pulled back slightly, those beautiful eyes stirring something deep in my soul.

“Thanks for saving the day like you always use to do,” she smiled as I felt all my troubles melt away. She just didn’t know but I would always protect her.

I really need to hold on, hold you

I'd give the world to you, oh my darlin'

You know I will

Yeah yeah you know i will

I surely will

“You are so beautiful; you know that right?” I asked, caressing her face as she looked away.

“Carmelo,” she started as I cut her off gently grasping her face making her look at me. The more I stared into her beautiful eyes, it seemed the more I got lost.

 “Just be in the moment with me,” I pleaded, gently kissed her forehead, as she relaxed in my arms.

I will never do anything to hurt you

I'll give all my love to you

(I'm gonna give you every bit of my love, my love)

And if you need me, baby, I'll come runnin' (yes I will)

Only to you (yes my baby yes I will)

I looked over and saw Trick dancing with Angela as he smiled at me giving me a thumbs up. Smiling, I closed my eyes just enjoying Kayla being in my arms again as she laid her head on my chest.

One of her hands resting on my back as the other caressed my arm and not just any arm but the one that contained the tattoo I had joked about getting four years earlier.

“You remember, don’t you? You know it’s your tattoo,” I whispered in her ear,unafraid of the answer as she nodded against me.

I no longer had anything to hide from her.

Girl I've been longing for you baby for a long long time

Let's make love tonight

I can make me feel real good baby

I can make feel real good baby

Sometimes, sometimes I get a little lonely, baby (so lonely baby)

“Why,” she whispered as I leaned down and gently placed a kiss on her bare shoulder. “Why wouldn’t I? I wanted to carry you with me always, you’re my best friend and I love you,” I whispered as I felt her still in my arms.

And I need a little love that I can call all mine (I need some lovin')

Girl, you are the one for me, babe

I know that you are the world for me, babe

“I can’t do this, I’m sorry,” Kayla whispered pulling away, walking off the dance floor.

Defeated, my eyes met Trick’s who pointed, silently telling me to go after her.

He was right, I couldn’t let the chance pass me by again. I rushed off the dance floor determined to catch her before she left.

Kayla’s POV

“Don't fall for it... He didn’t mean it Kayla, stop being weak,” I muttered to myself pacing. I felt in flight or fight mode as I saw Carmelo rushing towards me. “Look, I forgave you ok, so you don’t have to do this,” I cried trying to put some space between us as I tried to leave again.

“Kayla we can’t keep running from this baby,” Carmelo said blocking my path as I felt my anxiety rising.

This couldn’t be happening right now, he didn’t love me, he couldn’t.

“Why are you doin’ this!?” I cried as he caressed my face. “I’m doin’ It because I should have told you that night. I should have told you that I loved you,” Carmelo confessed as I felt the room closing in.

“No, no, you couldn’t have,” I whispered as I felt the air rushing out of my lungs.

“I’m sorry to just spring all this on you but, I don’t wanna make the same mistake twice. I can’t let you walk away from me again without telling you. I still love you Kayla and I know you love me too,” Carmelo declared without fear, claiming my lips in an eager kiss.

I will never do anything to hurt you

(I would never, never do one little thing to hurt you)

I'll give all my love to you

My mind was fuzzy as our kisses became more passionate, was this really happening right now.

“I’ma leave, and give you some time,” Carmelo whispered against my lips as I whimpered at the loss.

“I want you to come to me when you’re ready to admit you love me just as much as I love you, he said gently brushing his lips against mine before rushing off towards the elevators.

And if you need me, baby, I'll come runnin'

Only to you

Running towards the bathroom I locked myself in a stall trying to process what had happened. All this time he loved me, all this time lost.

Did I love him? Who am I kidding, I’ve always loved him and I thought I was over it until I saw him today, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

His words continuing to echo in my head as I got myself together.  Finally building up the courage to come out of the bathroom I ran into what felt like a brick wall as a strong set of arms steadied me.

"Hey, I'm Carmelo's friend Trick. I was looking for him, have you seen him,” the gentleman said as I looked at Angela,who stood behind him.

“He left and went upstairs,” I said as Trick frowned. “So did ya’ll talk?” Angela asked as I nodded.  

“Kayla, did he tell you how he felt?” Trick asked as I nodded again.

"Uh, can you give us an answers and stop all that damn nodding," Angela said I sighed.

“He told me he loved me and that he always had,” I said overwhelmed as Angela squealed in delight. “I knew it! My eyes don’t fool me," she said as I wiped my tears.

“How do you feel about what Melo said?” Trick asked as I contemplated his words.

“I love him too;” I said feeling relieved to say it out loud as Angela hugged me.

 “Then go to him,” she whispered as I nodded in understanding. I guess this is what she mean the other day about me putting my big girl panties on.

I had to tell him he wasn’t wrong, I did love him.

 “Trick, Do you know what room he’s in?' I asked as he smiled. “Room 984,” he said without hesitation as I gave him a hug.

 "Thank you and it was nice meeting you," I whispered as he laughed returning my embrace.

“Nice metting you too Kayla, and I’m sure we will be hanging out soon. Especially if your friend Angela here gives me her number,” he said as I smiled at him before I took off towards the elevator.

“Get ya’ man and have some mind-blowing sex you deserve it!” Angela yelled as Trick laughed. "Trick you better keep your eyes on that one," I said getting on the elevator anxiously waiting for the doors to close.

I felt nervous, the elevator seemed to be going so slow. I almost changed my mind, but the loud dinging noise let me knew I had reached my destination as I walked in a daze to room 984.

Taking a deep breath, I lightly knocked hoping he wouldn’t hear me, and I could leave.

“Damn no such luck,” I muttered as I heard him fumbling around the room. Just do what you feel Kayla, you already know he feels the same. Speak your peace and leave it at that.

Last night I thought to back to when we made good love

Listenin' to some Marvin Gaye all night long

Now I want that old thing back

 It was like time stood still as he opened the door clad in only a towel and a surprised look on his face. Wasting no time and closing the distance between us, I leaped into his arms, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.

 It’s power startling us both as we moaned in pleasure as our ever-present need for each other continued to grow more intense by the second as we got lost in each other.

 Reluctantly parting to catch our breath, Carmelo looked at me in wonder, caressing my hips.

Make these moments once again a fact

So won't ya, won't ya, uhhh, do it for us, babe

“So, you do love me?” he whispered in disbelief as I caressed his face his piercing gaze had me under his spell.

“I love you, Carmelo,” I whispered against his lips as he groaned reclaiming my lips, pulling me against his bare chest and into his room, slamming the door.

“I love you too, baby,” he moaned as his hands masterfully unzipped my dress causing it to fall at my feet as I shivered feeling exposed under his intense gaze.

“Are we really doin’ this?” I panted as his eyes continued to roam my body. “Yes, and your even more beautiful than I remembered,” he moaned, his breath now hot on my neck as he slowly grazed his lips across my neck, helping me out of my underwear.  

I couldn’t contain my moans of pleasure as Carmelo entangled his fingers in my hair, kissing and nibbling on my neck.

 Purring against him I felt myself losing control as his towel fell, a barrier no longer between us.

Good lovin, body rockin' knockin' boots all night long yeah

Makin' love until we tire to the break of dawn

But oh, come on, a-come on

“Melo, baby,” I moaned as he growled, his hands caressing my breasts as he teasingly sucked and nipped at them as my grip on his head tightened.

“I need to taste you, Peaches, I bet you taste so sweet,” he groaned using his tongue, licking a path from my stomach to my pelvis as he kneeled before me.

And turn the lights down, and let me get on it, yeah

‘Cause when I do, just me and you, it'll be so right

“Can I taste you, Peaches?” he moaned caressing my thighs wrapping them around his shoulders as I trembled with anticipation as he kissed my inner thigh trailing his tongue over my wet center.

Carmelo’s POV

“Yes! Please baby,” Kayla gasped, arching her hips against my tongue as I tasted her. Her hands gripping my face as I licked and sucked on her clit. “Mmm, you taste so sweet peaches. I knew you would baby,” I praised, her eyes rolling back in her head as I pleased her. 

Her moans urging me on as I swirled my flattened tongue around her swollen sensitive clit over and over as she whimpered underneath me.

A-give me some good love

(Somebody rockin' knockin' da boots)

A-give me some good love

(Somebody rockin' knockin' da boots) Somebody rockin', baby, ooh

“Carmelo! Oh, fuck!” Kayla moaned as I groaned savoring her taste. Gripping her ass and standing up while still lapping up her juices, I lifted her higher into the air.

 “What are you doing!” she gasped in shock and pleasure as my hungry eyes met hers. Her back planted firmly against the wall as she shivered against my mouth.

“I'm eating my dessert baby,” I moaned devouring her sweet wet center as her legs trembled around my neck.

I feel so good when I'm near you

That's why I always wanna be close to you

“Give me what I want Peaches,” I moaned against her as her gasps were coming in short spurts, I knew she was close.

 “I want it now Kayla,” I moaned swirling my tongue one last time around her clit before taking it in my mouth sucking it gently as she rode my face, her head thrown back in pleasure.

"Oh God! Melo, I...." She trailed off as her whole body began to shake as her orgasm hit her strong as I slid my tongue inside her making her scream and writhe against my mouth as her orgasm continued to overtake her.

I moaned loudly as her essence drenched my mouth as I welcomed it.

Enjoying watching the pleasure on her face, I gently unwrapping her thighs from around my neck.  Maintaining my grip, I slowly slid her down my body as she leaned forward kissing me with urgency.

“I need you,” I panted against her lips as she arched her back against the wall as I entered her swiftly, as a strangled moan escaped her beautiful lips.

I'm so addicted, I'm so addicted

To makin' love to you, baby

All night long, baby, all night long, long, long, long

Her moans mixed with the feel of her pulsing around me had me reelin’. “Fuck! Shit, I missed this Kay,” I confessed reclaiming her as she clawed at my back.

“I missed you too Carmelo,” she moaned as I bounced her with ease on my dick. Her arms around my neck and her knees locked on top of my arms as we rocked against each other.

“Yea, bounce on this dick… Bounce on it like a good girl. You like how this dick feels in this pussy don’t you?” I moaned.

“Carmelo, yes! Fuck me! Umph,” She groaned sucking on my neck, her wetness soaking my dick as it got louder with each thrust.

Kayla’s POV

“Yea, this that grown man shit, you like it don’t you? That pussy so wet for me Peaches, you takin’ it so good baby,” Carmelo praised as I whimpered against him. “Yes! I love it!” I screamed holding on for dear life.

He was right, we weren’t shy college kids anymore.  This truly was real grown folks shit and I loved it.  Clawing at his shoulders in disbelief and pleasure, I felt that familiar tingling starting to surge downward. Good lovin', body rockin' all night long, oh, oh

Makin' love until we tire to the break of dawn

“I feel you baby, don’t fight that shit,” Carmelo panted as I whined not wanting to cum just yet. “I got you, I’ma make you cum,” he groaned as I gasped, his thrusts becoming more powerful as he revealed his plan for the night.

“Tonight, you gon’ cum again…and again…and again…and again,” he groaned as I fell apart in his arms, his mouth swallowing my cries as he held me tight.

“Yea, that’s it, you so fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispered against my lips.

But oh, come on, come on and turn the lights down, and let me get on it, uh

‘Cause when I do, just me and you, it'll be so right, so right, so right

Each stroke masterfully takin’ my breath away. “I want you to cum baby,” I whispered wanting him to let himself go.

I wanted to see his face as he found his sweet release as he eased us onto the bed towering over me. “Spread them legs wide for me Peaches, we gon’ get this one together, baby,” he groaned, his mouth once again overpowering mine as his strokes became deeper and harder.

“Yes! Carmelo! Cum with me,” I gasped as the new position allowed him deeper inside me.

“Mmhm, I’m real deep in this pussy, it feels so good too baby,” he praised. Moving in sync with him I knew he was close. His muscles began to twitch under my touch.  

A-give me some good love

(Somebody rockin' knockin' da boots)

“Your mine,” I moaned as a low growl fell from his lips as I traced my tongue against his lips as he caught it between his lips gently sucking on it.

“You mine too, you always been mine,” he moaned as my pussy pulsed tightly around him again. Smirking, he placed two of his fingers inside my mouth as I gently sucked on them.

“Fuck yea, good girl Peaches,” he whispered taking his fingers and begins rubbing against my clit matching in tune with his strokes.

“Ahh! Baby I’m cumin!!” I exclaimed, his growls becoming louder as his body shook in ecstasy exploding inside me.

‘Cause I'm ready

(Somebody rockin' knockin' da boots) I'm so ready

I'm so ready, baby

“You felt so fuckin’ good. Shit, that was amazin’” he moaned gently kissing me as we came down from our trip of ecstasy.

 “You ain’t never lied. Can’t wait until we do it again,” I whispered as he groaned against my lips.

(Somebody rockin' knockin' da boots)

To give you everything that we've been waitin' on

(Somebody rockin' knockin' da boots)

“Best homecoming ever,” he panted collapsing beside me as I laughed.

“I have to agree, it’s definitely one for the books,” I said smiling.

“So does this mean you gon’ be my girl,” he whispered running his fingers through my hair as I laughed.

“Uh, I would hope so, you done gave me head in the air…The damn air Carmelo, that definitely was a first for me and the rest I can’t even talk about right now because the feeling in my legs ain’t back yet,” I said as he laughed.

“That was hot as fuck wasn’t it. It’s you, I ain’t never done no shit like that, you make me this way,” he whispered pulling me close as I kissed his tattoo.

“Well, tonight was definitely happy tears,” I said caressing his tattoo as he smiled.

“I promise as long as you my girl, it’s always going to be is happy tears, I promise you baby,” he declared as I snuggled further into his arms.

 “I love you,” I whispered as I felt his heart beating faster.

“I love you too Kayla,” he replied dropping a tender kiss on my forehead.

Where do we go from here, I didn’t know but I knew he was my man and it was going to stay that way.

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[sahonithereadwolf]

I went down another research hole the other night. Y'all might know about "Big Rock Candy Mountain" from O Brother, Where Art Thou...

But it, like most of the songs from that movie comes from a tradition of American folk songs. Big Rock Candy Mountains very specifically this tradition of hobo ballads. And, like setting aside the overtones of American colonialism that purvey all these sort of "there is a dreamland to the west for you to claim" songs, there is a cultural tradition of these. "Life is a struggle but there is a place where it's not if you can find it" is a very human sentiment.

There are plenty of medieval works on Cockaigne, which has a similar kinda tone to it. A land where the harsh realities of a blue collar or peasant class struggle can not exist.

But did you know about the secret gay lyrics of Big Rock Candy Mountain?

After Harry McClintoc recorded his version of this ballad, which he claimed he wrote in 1895 based off the stories he heard as a kid working on the railroad, a bunch of people took him to court because they claimed he stole and took parts of his song from a bunch of other hobo songs in the same traditions. Sweet Potato Mountain, Hobo's Heaven, An Appleknocker's Lament... As part of the court dispute, McClintock was told by the judge to perform the song. As art of the court record we have a last stanza which is not used in the cleaned up version used for records and "reputable venues". This was recorded as:

"The punk rolled up his big blue eyes And said to the jocker, "Sandy, I've hiked and hiked and wandered too, But I ain't seen any candy. I've hiked and hiked till my feet are sore And I'll be damned if I hike any more To be * * * * * * * * In the Big Rock Candy Mountains." Now NO ONE KNOWS what that last lyric is. However we can make some very educated inferences. This is about gay sex.

And it's not like "Big Rock Candy Mountains" is immune to commentary despite the more sanitized versions you'd see later from the likes of Burl Ives.

I'm thinking very specifically: "In The Big Rock Candy Mountains All the cops have wooden legs And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth" and

"In The Big Rock Candy Mountains The jails are made of tin And you can walk right out again As soon as you are in There ain't no short-handle shovels No axes, saws or picks I'm a-goin' to stay where you sleep all day Where they hung the jerk that invented work In The Big Rock Candy Mountains" Going back to the lyrics "The punk rolled up his big blue eyes"

Punk in this context and original use, especially in it's use in hobo culture refers to a younger man or boy being kept for sex and other menial task.

Which, you know, should put a whole new context to see how it's been used against other forms of youth culture. Hippies, greasers, punks,ect. And at least for me makes it's misuse feel even more slapdash and pathetic.

If you doubt this, it is quickly followed up by the term "Jocker" "And said to the jocker, 'Sandy," a slang term of the era referring to an aggressive and usually straight passing dom top, especially in the context of prison.

To be a little flippant, this is a twink grumbling to a daddy.

As I mentioned before, no one actually knows what that missing lyric is. Or at the very least it's never been made public.

But give it's proximity to "sore" and "more" a lot of guess tend to jump to the word "Whore".

Sam Eskin actually interviewed McClintock for Folkway Records and which, when asked about the lyrics said “the ambition of every hobo was to snare some kid to do his begging for him, among other things,”

This is something you see in a lot of early gay panic lit all the way up through the 80's. Especially as the moral authoritarianism of the Hayes code kicked in. But it also found itself in the early pulp lit where queerness could still exist (if behind a little mask and a performative, if dramatic, finger shake)

Queerness and homelessness were intertwined. Still are, both from my own personal experiences and if you look at the statistics. And it's not much of a leap to understand why. ---

But we do have some offered lyrics from other authors: "To be buggered sore like a hobo’s whore,” Is a popular one, which has it's origins from a 2002 folk music site called mudcat and waaaaay too British to read naturally if you ask me.

“And be cornholed till my ass is raw.” is another one you see passed around a lot. Which feels too forum humor.

George Milburn in 1930 offers "To be a homeguard with a lemonade card.” which is naive and sweet to say the least.

The fact is we still don't know this lyric, gay punchline (or at least gay panic) as it might be. All we know is that Big Rock Candy Mountain "Was never meant to be a parlor song" in McClintock's own words.

Well that and the insight it offers into social perceptions of queerness at the time and how it's shaped and shifted in the future.

What do you think this secret gay Big Rock Candy Mountain lyric is?

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

Canon Polycule Showdown

(vote for your favorite! check the description if you don't know them)

[ID: 1. Picture of George, Gilda and Thomas from Design for Living. 2. Picture of Alice Asmodeus, Clara and Iruma from Mairimashita! Iruma-kun /end ID]

Meet the contestants!

George/Gilda/Thomas

Status: Canon

Description: I offer you what is (to my knowledge) the very first depiction of polyamory in film all the way back in 1933. It released just one year before the Hayes Code was put into effect, which meant it was banned for re-release a year later, so it's amazing we got it at all! Both George and Thomas are in love with Gilda, so the three of them agree to move in together with limits put into place to keep anyone from being hurt. And they even get a happy ending!

Alice/Clara/Iruma

Status: Implied

Description: The trio is made up of Iruma, a boy who can't say no to anyone, Clara, a chaotic little gremlin, and Azz, a prideful boy who grew up very isolated. Due to their own circumstances, none of them had any real friends before they met each other, with Iruma being the one to connect them. The three of them do everything together, refer to each other as "soulmates", say they'll "always share everything" and call themselves "the love trio" while swearing to always be there for one another. They're also very cuddly and miss each other greatly whenever they're forced to be apart.

[weirdlookindog]

Forbidden Sweets (1929) - Tivoli Opera House, San Francisco, original poster illustration.

[sirfrogsworth]

This discussion you're having reminds me a bit of how mental health professionals have made guidelines on how to address heavy topics like suicide or self harm in media so as to not risk exacerbating those tendencies in the audience. They aren't, like, laws or anything (before people come in and bring up censorship or the hayes code) but useful points to look at while doing media criticism. Maybe there can be something similar for depicting smoking.

But I also think that it's sort of a circular problem. When I was younger it seemed like smoking had lost or was in the process of losing any of it's Coolness Appeal. Now it's somehow seen as Cool again and the media is both reflecting and perpetuating it. I wonder if the vape trend had something to do with it. Lots of people who weren't addicted to nicotine in the first place started vaping bc it was trendy. Or maybe it's the cyclical nature of nostalgia. Idk.

As someone else mentioned, it could very well be the tobacco companies. The amount of lobbying and propaganda and just evil shit they have done over the years has been immense. They probably waited for everything to settle down again and are now slowly trying to regain that influence.

I do think the problem is mostly the depiction though. We have a lot of media showing the consequences of violence. We have media showing the horrors of addiction and alcoholism. But smoking is always just a cool visual and nothing else.

Seriously, I think if once a movie they just had a character say, "That person stinks and when I'm around them I feel sick." it would go a long way to neutralizing that influence. Kids are so sensitive to being embarrassed and they are already having to deal with hygiene issues around that age. Perhaps they wouldn't want to add another one.

If people really want to keep smoking in media, showing some of the realities would go a long way.

Otherwise, I say we just skip it.

Or we just skip it anyway.

[occasionalrpmemes]

Amigo the Devil: Volume 1 Starters

sentences taken from the 2015 album. edit as desired. warning: this one does NOT pass the Hayes Code lmao. content includes, but is not limited to: sex, violence (both domestic and otherwise), alcohol, strong language, religion, general moral degeneracy, et cetera

It's all for you.

I'd rot in hell with you, if you'd just ask me to.

Come on, believe me, follow me home, there's no judgement here.

Take the shot.

This night is going to end horribly for someone.

I'm not so much afraid of letting go as much as scared of giving up.

Open up to me.

The Devil came and sold his fucking soul to me!

If I've hurt you, please forgive me. Love makes you do funny things.

This fire feels so real.

Don't say a word, my darling. I know how you feel.

On rainy days, we'll drink until the gray is left in nothing but our hair.

I know you want it, too.

I'll lay by your side 'til everything is rotten through.

Tonight, we'll celebrate life! Eat the best food and drink the best wine.

I hope your husband dies.

Are you feeling upside down or even empty inside?

Meet me down by the bar. We'll go and take this drink out to the stars.

Death is just one moment.

Some people follow rules, some people go around.

As an elephant, I'm only really relevant when I'm standing in the room.

I am the son of an asshole.

No one deserves my world quite like you do.

I'm not so much afraid of being alone, just kind of feel I've had enough.

God knows I'll do what I need.

These hands are stronger than you're led to believe.

We'll never have a house to decorate, a place that we can call our home.

If I can't have you, nobody will.

There's only one thing in this life that makes us living.

I want to be where all the stupid shit I say sounds so romantic and true.

Live with me in this sin forever.

There's nothing left to lose, 'cuz I've already lost it all.

Tonight, I'll follow you home and start up a fire that'll keep us both warm.

Hang around, let down your hair.

So you should start to undress and just… try a little less.

Now you're with this asshole- you expect me to believe it's gonna last?

Let me have this dance with you.

Your eyes look like diamonds still stuck inside the mines.

When your tongue is putrid and your skin is sagging down, I'll stick around.

It's true, I hate everything but you.

We'll laugh a little, drink a little, see what you're made of.

All the bridges in the world won't lead you back to fix what couldn't be erased.

This fairytale just ain't coming true.

I'll drive my car like I stole it, drink at the bar like I own it.

These wrinkles are the maps of all the places we went no one else would dare.

I'd rather have a reason I should stay.

There's always gonna be a better high, and a lower down.

We take things a little far, but you couldn't name a place I wouldn't go with you.

I'm capable of making you disappear.

I have a couple different faces if you need a place to hide.

The time we spent together when the light was out became my thought of you.

I am the agent that decides your fate.

There's only one kind of people in the world: people who die!

It doesn't matter what you've heard or if you're good or bad and everything between.

I love the shitty things we do together.

It's been a while since I've held anything as close as I have you.

I'd like to live my life just like a dog. Humble as can be and unconditional in everything I love.

I'll make you famous one way or another.

Home is the last place that I'd stand to be with anyone but you.

I'd crawl in bed with you. Even in someone else's blood, on top of someone else's love, in the worst motel we find.

This life is a maze with only one way out.

Every dime spent is worth looking good- and that's Hollywood!

They'll write about our story here for years to come and maybe even more, cuz there's never been a love like this before.

I'll cut to the chase, just don't try to leave.

Trust me, I'm not jealous, I'm just hoping that he really messes up.

When I had you near me I just couldn't think of anything to say, but now that I'm alone, I got the perfect things to tell you everyday.

We'll leave the world the way dreamers do.

All the parties we can throw - we'll dress like anything we please!

All the distance that we've spent apart will never have to mean a thing. Every mile I traveled was to find the perfect stone to fit your ring.

Living in the moment's hard when everything I want is in the past.

When the night falls, out comes the terror.

Your heart will always have a place to live with nothing left to be.

[underhisplumbob]

Day in my life-sahm to nine month old twins 👶🏼👧🏼

I always start off my day with my grooming, your body is God's temple so you should make sure you look your best at all times.

Then I head down to get started on morning chores. I wake up at 5 so I'm usually very tired so I start off with a large mug of coffee with some scoops of smexus™ (join today with my code: "N1naColbert"). You might think it tastes bad but the smexus adds a lovely floral taste and all the good nutrients keep me going 😋🙌🏼.

I wave Hubby off before I go and wake the babies. I like to spend at least three hours outside with them, no need for nasty jabs if you've got God's immunity on your side 🙌🏼. After our long day of playing, I put them to bed just before Hayes gets home, this way we can have our one on one time without crying babies.

Comments:

@/renegadeonmyd: good to see women like you still exist, most girls at my school are whores @/motherandwifeinChrist: reply to (@/renegadeonmyd) what a disgusting thing to say young man! You should guide those girls to the Lord, not insult them. @/fundiedramallama: wait so your husband doesn't spend any time with his children?? Wow

[lokiinmediasideblog]

On "Lady Loki" PSA: You mean Loki being Femme?

“Lady Loki” is NOT Loki being genderfluid. The name is a mixture of “Lady Sif” (because Sif’s title is “Lady” like “Lord”) and “Loki” because Loki stole Sif’s body after Ragnarok ensued, and trapped her in a dying old lady’s body. Loki first shows up possessing Sif’s body in Thor Vol. 3 # 5 back in 2007. Loki continued to use male pronouns in Sif’s body, but just gets misgendered by everyone else. And as much as I love aspects of Loki’s characterization in that era, having that plotline in this political climate would be awful, incredibly damaging, and way more problematic than anything the Loki show gets accused of. I need people to know what the fuck they’re talking about before they refer to wanting "Lady Loki" in the Loki show because this is what you're talking about.

I will be open and say I am not a fan of much of the majority of Thor comics. They are fucking annoying and read like some Gary Stu male fantasy because they’re always going off about how Thor is the fucking best and his plot armor makes him the only and best choice to be Asgard’s ruler despite there being other characters with similar qualities in Asgard but Thor’s “just better”. The misogyny is off the charts in these with all the ridiculously and impractically scantily clad “warrior” women that all want to fuck Thor and have little personality past that. I also loathe the “Loki’s just evil” crap. My fascination with them is more like gawking and wanting to be pissed off. Plus, I find pre-reincarnation Marvel comics!Loki to be a fascinating study of a Comics Code Authority/Hayes code era villain (and I kinda root for him because the narrative annoys me). He’s up there with all the Disney villains despite not originally being Disney.

In those pre-reincarnation comics that often piss me off, Loki is meant to evoke disgust and to “disturb” through his failure to be the epitome of manliness. Marvel has tried to distance themselves from that once they had their “Are we the baddies?” epiphany by retconning Asgard to be more progressive. It kinda annoys me because panels exist where they’re being queerphobic to Loki. To me, it’d feel more organic if Asgard was shown going through societal change rather than “We have always been progressive, what the fuck are you talking about?” But that's just me.

I remember when Loki was about to come out as bisexual in the comics on 2013 after becoming very popular largely due to Tom Hiddleston’s Loki (Young Avengers #13 where he flirts with Prodigy, followed by Agent of Asgard revealing he's a genderfluid shapeshifter in 2014), queer organizations expressed concern over the whole “queer-coded villain á la Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.” If you are not familiar with Buffalo Bill, he is the main antagonist from Thomas Harris’s very copagandic and transphobic book, Silence of The Lambs, the book with Hannibal Lecter (played by Anthony Hopkins who plays MCU!Odin lol) where he’s like “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. T-sss-tsss-tss.”

Buffalo Bill is said to not be a “real transgender”, whatever the fuck that means especially with all the policing around bodily autonomy, and some statistic about how transgenders are the least likely to be violent is shoehorned in, but everything about the character ends up being a queerphobic trope. The “difference” is that Jame Gumb “thinks” he wants to be a woman but doesn’t actually want to be (the transphobia in this book is off the charts).

I am glad Loki has gotten redemption arcs of sorts, because a lot of the tropes employed on comics!Loki just pissed me off. And I am glad MCU!Loki never went through the transphobic possession storyline in the name of being "comics-accurate".

The easiest way to represent genderfluidity in the MCU with a casting choice that predates Loki's coming out in comics would be through dialogue in the magic-less TVA. Have Loki say that her pronouns are she/her while looking the same because people can't shapeshift in real life.

I have seen criticism about the comics' "Genderfluid Shapeshifter" trope not being accurate. But even if it's not "accurate" to the real world, from what I've been told, Loki being a part of the genderfluid shapeshifter trope or that trope in general is not an issue, because lots of genderfluid and trans folks enjoy that kind of fantasy. And Marvel's Loki is based on a shapeshifter of the same name from Norse mythology that is most people's first introduction to the concept of genderfluidity (myth!Loki was my first exposure to the concept and they're a shapeshifter).

[lushthemagicdragon]

I keep seeing commentary about Henry ranting about Lord Byron and recommending The Picture of Dorian Gray but y'all. While Henry the Repressed British Homosexual is recommending queer British literary classics written by people during centuries of repression, Alex is watching Some Like it Hot. He's also watching Some Like it Hot right at the beginning of the movie, right before they get into trouble and start the queer plot. And the exact shot is when Jerry is speaking.

This is an INCREDIBLE choice of film for him to be watching. Alex is, at this point in the story, in sort of denial that he's bi even though he has already had a couple of gay sexual experiences. While I've argued before and will argue till the cows come home that Jerry/Daphne's story in Some Like it Hot has always been a trans allegory, the less allegorical, more direct story is just that Jerry, who is full of hot air and bluster about flirting with girls but never manages to actually score like Joe does, realizes that he's bi, maybe even gay (it's not discussed directly being a film made in 1959 but boy it's about as clear as you could get without saying it directly). This is also widely considered the film that put the nail in the coffin of the Hayes Code, which is foundational American Cinema History and is a signpost of coming out of this era of heavy repression and into a (somewhat, idealistically) freer world.

I sure did not expect a two-second shot to have an incredible analysis of one of my favourite films in it (because I would bet money too that Jerry HAD fooled around with a guy before Osgood but kept it hush-hush) but, y'all, those microdetails. Incredible.