#behaviour modification

[basicallyanotherwitchesthing]

Erwin Lausch - Manipulation - Dangers and Benefits of Brain Research - Aidan Ellis - 1974

[teine-mallaichte]

I’ve been brainstorming (and when I say brainstorming I really mean "daydreaming about while at work") a concept I’m now dubbing “Neurobehavioral Conditioning” or “Neuro-Operant Training” — basically an advanced way to "train" a whumpee by combining behavior conditioning, operant conditioning, and behavioral modification. Think of it as a futuristic shock collar, but with a twist.

The general concept is that of an implant. This implant would be remote, controlled by the trainer, owner, whumper, etc, and at eh press of a button would "reward" the whumpee for good behaviour, following orders, being submissive, or whatever else.

I have three ideas for this implant:

Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS)

Mechanism: DBS involves implanting electrodes in specific brain areas, like the nucleus accumbens, to stimulate pleasure and reward centers.

Control: A remote control would adjust stimulation levels to reward good behavior.

Pros: Highly targeted, adjustable stimulation.

Cons: Requires surgery with risks like infection and brain damage.

Real World Inspiration: DBS is used to treat conditions like Parkinson’s and severe depression, showing its ability to enhance specific brain functions.

2. Insulin Pump-like Device Administering Euphoric Drugs

Mechanism: This device would release small doses of a euphoric drug into the bloodstream.

Control: The trainer can control dosage and timing to reinforce positive behavior.

Pros: Easier to implement than brain surgery, easily adjustable.

Cons: Risks of addiction, tolerance, and side effects.

Real World Inspiration: Think of insulin pumps but for mood-enhancing substances. While not perfect, the concept of continuous, controlled substance delivery is pretty similar.

3. Insulin Pump-like Device Administering Neurotransmitters

Mechanism: Releases neurotransmitters directly into the brain, affecting mood and behavior.

Control: Like the drug pump, it’s remotely controlled for precise neurotransmitter release.

Pros: Direct and potentially faster-acting than drugs.

Cons: Requires precise control to avoid imbalances and side effects.

Real World Inspiration: Current research on neurotransmitter modulation in psychiatric treatments.

Now… Imagine This:

The whumpee is unaware of the implant. Every time they follow an order or please the whumper, the button is pressed and they experience a wave of pleasure. The sense of joy and satisfaction becomes so intertwined with their compliance that eventually the button may not even need to be pressed. In Whumpees mind the wave of pleasure comes directly from obedience.

** Whumper glanced up, catching Whumpees eye. “You’ve done very well today. I’m proud of you.” Whumpees chest swelled with warmth at the praise. They didn’t fully understand the source of their happiness, but in that moment, it felt perfectly aligned with their purpose. The sense of joy and satisfaction was so deeply intertwined with their compliance that they couldn’t imagine anything else.**

**Whumper called out gently "Could you please tidy up the coffee table, dear? It looks a bit cluttered." Whumpee "Of course!" They move swiftly to the coffee table, clearing away magazines and placing them neatly in a stack. As they work, they hum softly, a look of contentment on their face. The moment they finish, a wave of pleasurable warmth washes over them, originating from deep within their mind. They feel a sense of happiness and fulfillment, a smile spreading across their face as if they had just accomplished something truly meaningful.**

I feel the subtlety of influencing the whumpee’s emotions makes this concept all the more intriguing (and creepy). Sure, the whumper could crank up the remote to enforce submission, but the quiet conditioning might be even more satisfying.

Honestly, maybe it's a good job that I never actually qualified as a doctor what this is the sort of thoughts I have while stood in a gym yelling at someone on a treadmill 😂.

Mandatory science dump Under the cut

Key Neurotransmitters and Their Functions:

Dopamine:

Function: Often referred to as the “feel-good” neurotransmitter, dopamine plays a crucial role in reward, motivation, and pleasure. It also influences movement and emotional responses.

Theoretical Effect of Artificial Addition: Increasing dopamine levels can enhance feelings of pleasure and reward, potentially improving mood and motivation.

Too much = addiction and psychosis.

Serotonin:

Function: Serotonin is involved in regulating mood, appetite, sleep, and memory. It has a calming effect and helps maintain a balanced mood.

Theoretical Effect of Artificial Addition: Boosting serotonin levels can improve mood and reduce anxiety and depression.

Too much = serotonin syndrome.

Norepinephrine:

Function: This neurotransmitter is involved in the body’s “fight or flight” response. It increases alertness, arousal, and attention.

Theoretical Effect of Artificial Addition: Enhancing norepinephrine can improve focus and energy levels.

Too much = anxiety and high blood pressure.

GABA (Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid):

Function: GABA is the primary inhibitory neurotransmitter in the brain. It helps reduce neuronal excitability and promotes relaxation and calmness.

Theoretical Effect of Artificial Addition: Increasing GABA levels can have a calming effect, reducing anxiety and promoting sleep.

Too much = excessive sedation.

Acetylcholine:

Function: This neurotransmitter is involved in muscle activation, memory, and learning.

Theoretical Effect of Artificial Addition: Enhancing acetylcholine can improve memory and cognitive function.

Too much = Muscle cramps.

Key Brain Areas for DBS for this purpose:

Nucleus Accumbens (NAc):

Function: The NAc is a central part of the brain’s reward circuit. It plays a crucial role in processing pleasure, reward, and reinforcement learning.

Theoretical Effect of DBS: Stimulating the NAc can enhance feelings of pleasure and reward, potentially improving mood and motivation. This area is often targeted in treatments for depression and addiction.

Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA):

Function: The VTA is involved in the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward.

Theoretical Effect of DBS: Stimulating the VTA can increase dopamine release, enhancing reward-related behaviors and potentially improving mood.

Medial Forebrain Bundle (MFB):

Function: The MFB is a pathway that connects the VTA to the NAc and other brain regions involved in reward processing.

Theoretical Effect of DBS: Stimulating the MFB can modulate the entire reward circuit, potentially providing a more comprehensive enhancement of pleasure and motivation.

Central Amygdala (CeA):

Function: Traditionally associated with fear, recent studies have shown that the CeA also has neurons involved in reward processing.

Theoretical Effect of DBS: Stimulating the reward-related neurons in the CeA can promote positive behaviors and enhance feelings of reward

A few real world related technologies and research that explore similar concepts:

Automated Insulin Delivery (AID) Systems:

These systems combine insulin pumps with continuous glucose monitors (CGMs) to automatically adjust insulin delivery based on real-time glucose levels1. The technology and principles behind these systems could be adapted for neurotransmitter delivery.

Neurotransmitter Modulation in Psychiatric Treatments:

Treatments for conditions like depression and anxiety often involve modulating neurotransmitter levels using medications such as SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) to increase serotonin levels2. While not delivered via a pump, the concept of adjusting neurotransmitter levels to influence behavior is similar.

Research on Neurostimulation and Neurotransmitter Release:

Studies have explored the use of electrical stimulation to influence neurotransmitter release in the brain. For example, deep brain stimulation (DBS) can affect dopamine levels, which is relevant for treating Parkinson’s disease.

[muttsmischiefacademysblog]

Head halters or haltis

*** Please read fully before making comments. ***

So a guardian surmised this perfectly: “Until I knew about Truelove Harnesses, I felt the only way I could walk my dog was with a halti for fear of being pulled over. I never enjoyed using it and did wonder about the damage it could potentially cause.”

For the purpose of this blog I will refer to halters/ haltis as halters to clear any confusion as I have found in Europe we seem to say “halti” as the brand and in the US the term halter is used. So to make this internationally friendly I am just going to use the term halter.

I would like to clarify as well. I am a full time wheelchair user and I also have arthritis in my shoulders and very limited feeling or sensation in my hands. I use Y Front Harnesses.

I don't think I've spoken to one fear or force opposed professional who has ever said, haltis are fine as a permanent solution. Instead what's normally said is: “although we understand the risk and damage from haltis etc we make it clear that we need to get it off and replaced with a Y Front harness as soon as possible.”

This is very much lesser known information across search engines and scholar papers, trust me I have searched over many hours over many months before completing this blog.

Head halter's can cause severe damage to our dogs. They are a tool that's been designed to "stop dogs from pulling" by altering dogs movement into a way that suppresses their natural behaviours.

They are merely a crutch to make walking easier for dog guardians and most trainers can agree are a very aversive tool and some even claim worse than other aversive tools.

This maybe news for you, this may come as a shock and this maybe upsetting, this information isn't personal or aimed at anyone as individuals, this information is factual and here to improve your dogs welfare.

Sadly there is very little research available as to the damage of these tools, but after much sleuthing, I have found some gems of information to help inform you.

A craniosacral therapist has done a lot of research on the use of head halters and found them to be very harmful in their research of the cranial area and the physiology of the dog. Which is exactly the information I was seeking to pass along.

Halters are rarely fitted well, the halter isn't actually designed for the dog's anatomy, the dog can suffer injuries within the head and neck areas unknown to the guardian, trainer and even the vet! Dog's can still try to express natural behaviours and be adversely inhibited by the halter causing injury.

Over time physically this can lead to serious misalignment of the cranial and facial bones possibly resulting in further symptoms such as headaches, ear ache, blurred vision, impaired swallowing, breathing problems, difficulty swallowing, chewing food, altered mood and much more! (1)

Recent research was done at Nottingham Trent University recently in 2020. The research found that guardians themselves are concerned as to the damage that flat collars are doing to their beloved companions, likening the pressure to that of a tourniquet. (1)

More research was conducted by the Myerscough college. Using temperature as a guide to navigate the emotions of the dog's they were able to work with 22 dogs to assess the changes in temperatures. They did this by using thermal imaging and focused on the areas of the dog's body that indicate stress levels and changes in stress. Dogs' core temperatures will change drastically according to whether they are about to go into a state of fight or flight.

A baseline was used from taking the dogs ear temperature before beginning, they used 21 pet dogs in total and used Y Front harnesses and head halter's.

The findings were that the temperatures of the dog's drastically fell when the halter's were used, which indicated extreme stress.

Physical body language communication could be seen too such as yawning and lip licking, which all points to the damage to the welfare of the dogs.

The dogs had not experienced harnesses before either but they did not attempt to shake or roll to take them off whereas 62% of the dog's attempted to remove the halter, by face rubbing, pawing or shaking the halter off. (2)

Internally the dogs have lots of nerves, specifically the halter affects the cranial nerves, these govern the eyes, ears, throat and nose. They become stretched, distorted and tweaked with the damage to them and the changes in the bone structure.

This can be temporary or permanent depending on whether the bones can realign on their own or whether they become permanently altered. More often than not due to the bones locking into this position, this becomes permanent.

The vagus nerve also runs through the cranial nerves, the vagus nerve travels beyond the throat to the lungs, heart and digestive organs, it also controls swallowing, barking, breathing and regulating the heart.

All body functions in every organism is regulated and controlled by the brain, the cranial nerves are direct extensions of the brain, they send information to all areas of the body.

Trauma whether acute or chronic can negatively impact a dogs health and make life altering changes, making the dog extremely ill. (3)

Suzanne Clothier shares that head halters can compromise dog welfare, even if the dog seemingly gives into the halter . Sharing an experience from her own blog "The problem with head halters."

Suzanne shares that a Labrador was happy and enthusiastic on entering a class and playing tug, when the halter was put on, the dog became very depressed, tail tucked, head lowered and no longer interested in engaging with the trainer who she had previously been playing with. This is a stark contrast from a dog who was previously alert, engaged and happy.

The halter for dogs is also likened to that of the halters used on cows and horses. Whereas halters sit along the long bones of the horse and cows face and away from the eyes, many halters for dogs ride into their eyes causing further discomfort, because when it comes down to it the canine anatomy isn't designed for halters.

Dogs also use their muzzles for their communications, not just amongst their own species but to also engage in the environment and to communicate with us too.

The damage that halter's can do are soft tissue injuries, damage to the spine and cervical bones. (I'll expand on this further along).

Dogs are also not prepared for the jerk that the halter will give, when the human stops and because of the halter working in the way that it does, it's too easy for the human to not be engaged. The halter is merely a crutch and not solving the behaviour or teaching the dog anything at all, but when the human stops unaware of their dog's movements, the halter can snap the dog's head back both sideways and upwards. Or as many of us have seen when the halter is used to jerk the dog deliberately if they try to engage with the environment.

When people have argued that dogs can also go through this in other activities, Suzanne argues that when the dog is aware of a situation, they can engage their muscles and brace for the situation by the brain telling them to, just like us when we engage our muscles in preparation for an abrupt stop or climbing stairs. halter's do not give dogs this grace, thus causing severe injuries in dogs. (3)

Halters are punishment, they are an aversive tool and with this comes adverse effects to emotional safety for dogs. Many trainers including Kommetijie Canine College have shared their experiences of seeing dogs suppressed and emotionally shut down due to head halters. Despite still going through the motions of taking treats and not reacting, this is only due to the suppression of the halter . Which you can read here https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02BEc9YJoDhUMvykRK7ijKnK46nr6RyFyxGXeUH419UXqBcyh5CauKsQosZyK5QXqNl&id=857426880942607&sfnsn=scwspmo

From the study by Myerscough college it was found that the dogs were adversely affected in their behaviour and behaviours that guardians believed they could Control with a halter such as lunging at dogs, vehicles and people and the study found the halter actually increased this behaviour.

It was also considered that the dogs were forming associations of anxiety with the leash due to the pressure that the halter applied to them and the negative emotions that they experienced on walks. (4)

It should be considered that using head halters cause discomfort to the facial area for dogs both externally and internally. (5

Although scientific research is limited, as we have seen scientific evidence is available, as well as of course information shared from trainers, behaviourists and a craniosacral therapist.

So what's the answer? Use a Y shape harness, with a front and back clip attachment. Find a Trainer who can help you to learn to enjoy walks with your dog, communicate with them, engage with them and safely walk together.

If you need help finding the right harness for you we have guides within the Do No Harm Dog Training Group and I also have a tutorial for you to condition your dog to a harness safely. https://youtu.be/D3c5HeSrmK8

Draw what you can from this blog, but please let the take away be the negative effects to both emotional and physical welfare of your dogs when a halter is used.

References

Hambley , A. (2014) Gentle Leader Dog Leash — Potential Health Risks. Available at: http://whitetigernaturalmedicine.com/craniosacral-therapy/gentle-leader-dog-leash-potential-health-risks (Accessed: 31 May 2023).

CARTER, A., MCNALLY, D. and ROSHIER, A. (2020) Canine collars: an investigation of collar type and the forces applied to a simulated neck model. Veterinary Record. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32303668/

Hambley , A. (2014) Gentle Leader Dog Leash — Potential Health Risks. Available at: http://whitetigernaturalmedicine.com/craniosacral-therapy/gentle-leader-dog-leash-potential-health-risks (Accessed: 31 May 2023).

HAUG, L.I., BEAVER, B.V., LONGNECKER, M.T. (2002) Comparison of dogs’ reactions to four different head collars. Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 79, 53-61 .https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0168159102001156

Clothier , S. (2022) The problem with head halters, suzanneclothier. Available at: https://suzanneclothier.com/article/problem-head-halters/?fbclid=IwAR1cd0NMwBBtDGSDW9mJfpMkwZ5p-qwsn-PeJCJoQfAmxNJJ9wwE6QIHaNU (Accessed: 31 May 2023).

OGBURN, P., CROUSE, S., MARTIN, F. and HOUPT, K. (1998) https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Comparison-of-behavioral-and-physiological-of-dogs-Ogburn-Crouse/77439cd747a01465e05236e5d9abbeee60e9050c

Dogs Today (2020) Headcollar vs Harness – which is better for our dogs’ welfare? Available at: https://dogstodaymagazine.co.uk/2020/05/18/headcollar-vs-harness-which-is-better-for-our-dogs-welfare/?fbclid=IwAR1ypdsnfs19B48xsaVZQbMRjI2D0-8cjZDDWk39sCK7xEoqXoRf00CJBIc

Image References

Page one image: Anatomical diagrams muscle location and bone names from Micheau, Dr.A. and Hoa, Dr.D. (2022) Canine myology: Normal anatomy: Vet-anatomy, IMAIOS. Available at: https://www.imaios.com/en/vet-anatomy/dog/dog-myology

Page two image: Suboccipital Muscle Group reference Chau, L. (2022) Suboccipital Muscle Group: Radiology Reference Article, Radiopaedia. Available at: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/suboccipital-Muscle-Group

Page two image: temporal, masseter and pterygoideus medialis muscle. Stone , I. (2023) Don’t use a head halter unless you have to: What you need to know, Simpawtico Dog Training. Available at: https://www.simpawtico-training.com/dont-use-a-head-halter/ (Accessed: 08 October 2023).

Anatomical diagrams muscle location and bone names from Micheau, Dr.A. and Hoa, Dr.D. (2022) Canine myology: Normal anatomy: Vet-anatomy, IMAIOS. Available at: https://www.imaios.com/en/vet-anatomy/dog/dog-myology

Page three image: Anatomical diagrams nerve locations and names from Micheau, Dr.A. and Hoa, Dr.D. (2022) Canine myology: Normal anatomy: Vet-anatomy, IMAIOS. Available at: https://www.imaios.com/en/vet-anatomy/dog/dog-myology

Page four image: Vagus nerve diagram Palazzi, X., Pardo, I. D., Ritenour, H., Rao, D. B., Bolon, B., & Garman, R. H. (2022). A technical guide to sampling the beagle dog nervous system for general toxicity and neurotoxicity studies. Toxicologic Pathology, 50(4), 432–465. https://doi.org/10.1177/01926233221099300

Image description

Skeleton: a diagram of a dog like a German shepherd showing the skeletal system to the last rib of the rib cage. The arrows point to the: hyoid bones, occiput bone, mandibular joint and cervical vertebrae.

The first black splat which is a text box reads: The bones in the skull area can become negatively impacted and even altered due to the pressure from a halti device. Damage to the hyoid bones can impact swallowing and vocalisations. https://www.simpawtico-training.com/dont-use-a-head-halter/

Muscles: a diagram of a dog like a German shepherd showing the skeletal system to the last rib of the rib cage. The muscles in the jaw area are highlighted in red. The arrows point to the: temporalis muscle, rectus captitulation dorsalis, semispinalis capitis, masseter muscle, pterygoideus medialis muscle, Obliquus capitulation cranialis and the Obliiquus capitis caudalis muscle.

The black splat which is a text box reads: These groups of muscles can become tender and sore, contribute to headaches, earaches and general aches and pain around the facial muscles.

This condition is medically known as TMJ disorder or Temporomandibular joint disorder. Stone , I. (2023) Don’t use a head halter unless you have to: What you need to know, Simpawtico Dog Training. Available at: https://www.simpawtico-training.com/dont-use-a-head-halter/

The second black splat which is a text box reads: This is the suboccipital muscle group, these four muscles are paired, three of these muscles form the suboccipital triangle.

They are found below the occipital bone, they are the postural support for the head. They are also responsible for extending, lateral flexion and rotation. They are small muscles that act in unison. Chau, L. (2022) Suboccipital Muscle Group: Radiology Reference Article, Radiopaedia. Available at: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/suboccipital-muscle-group

Nerves: a diagram of a dog like a German shepherd showing the skeletal system to the last rib of the rib cage. The nerves of the dog affected by halters are highlighted. The nerves are listed below.

The first black splat which is a text box reads: 12 canine cranial nerves, 1. Olfactory nerve, 2. Optic Nerve, 3. Oculomotor nerve, 4. Trochlear nerve, 5. Trigeminal nerve - branches are the ophthalmic nerve, maxillary nerve and mandibular nerve, 6. Abducens nerve, 7. Facial nerve, 8. Vestibulocochlear nerve, 9. Glossopharyngeal nerve, 10. Vagus nerve (see below), 11.Accessory nerve, 12.Hypoglossal nerve. Admin, V. (2016, July 18). Cranial nerves. Veterian Key. https://veteriankey.com/cranial-nerves/

The second black splat which is a text box reads: Vomeronasal nerve also known as the Jacobson organ. This is a specialised sensory nerve which connects the vomeronasal organ within the nasal cavity to the brain. This nerve detects chemical signatures and pheromones, dogs are able to process the information and communicate thanks to this nerve! Dzięcioł, M., Podgórski, P., Stańczyk, E., Szumny, A., Woszczyło, M., Pieczewska, B., Niżański, W., Nicpoń, J., & Wrzosek, M. A. (2020). MRI features of the vomeronasal organ in dogs (canis familiaris). Frontiers in Veterinary Science, 7. https://doi.org/10.3389/fvets.2020.00159

Vagus nerve:Nerves: a diagram of a dog like a German shepherd showing the skeletal system to the last rib of the rib cage. The vagus nerve of the dog is highlighted in blue. The vagus nerve runs from the stem of the brain to the stomach.

The first black splat which is a text box reads: The vagus nerve also directly communicates with the gut and is responsible for controlling how the body responds to stimuli. Such as "rest and digest" and "freeze, fight and flight".

The second black splat which is a text box reads: Has the largest concentration of tissue after the brain and the spinal cord. The vagus nerve also has its own nervous system independent of the brain.

The third black splat which is a text box reads:

The vagus nerve is connected directly to the brain and is responsible for connecting and regulating internal organ functions. The vagus nerve is also responsible for some involuntary reflexes. Breit, S., Kupferberg, A., Rogler, G., & Hasler, G. (2018, March 13). Vagus nerve as modulator of the brain-gut axis in psychiatric and inflammatory disorders. Frontiers in psychiatry. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5859128/

[marcowalker148]

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[in-sightjournal]

Ask A Genius 1050: The Paul Cooijmans Session 2, Extended Thoughts

Rick Rosner, American Comedy Writer, www.rickrosner.org Scott Douglas Jacobsen, Independent Journalist, www.in-sightpublishing.com Scott Douglas Jacobsen: This is Paul Cooijmans, session two. Go ahead.  Rick Rosner: So I asked an AI, which is called Claude 3.5 Sonnet, what would be some ways to check if AI has become conscious? And it responds: “Determining whether AI has consciousness is a…

[courtorderclasses77]

Behavior Modification Classes Now Available!

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[gothgirlkisses]

I love behaviour modification and slut training sooo much its no surprise im slowly gaining a hypno kink

[bubblegumgothglados]

How to actually train a submissive, a how to guide

+Thoughts on the pervasive misinformation surrounding punishments and their usefulness.

Step 1. Make sure your submissive actually want to be trained. I'm into dom breaking, I'm into kidnapping, I'm into all types of situations where you forcibly change a person into the perfect submissive. But that's all fantasy, and they're fun fantasies to play out with willing participants. (Yeah i know this is pretty obvious stuff, everyone should know this already, but it is an important first step and it cant hurt to repeat)

Step 2. Pick a goal. The perfect example is getting them to take their pills at the same time each day. Its something they already want to do, its something that will benefit them greatly, its something that's very obviously pass/ fail, and its simple. Those are the criteria for a good behaviour to modify (with "want to do" flipped to "don't want to do" if its a behaviour you're trying to stop). The fewer of those things are true the more difficult its going to be to get the desired result, not impossible mind you but more difficult. As you and your submissive gain experience and become more comfortable with this process you can begin to modify more complex behaviours, but keep it simple to start.

Step 3. DO reward success, DO NOT punish failure. I'm gonna let myself rant about this at the end of this guide but for the moment just believe me when i say punishments are not a useful tool in training. So reward them every time the succeed. The best rewards are small things that stimulate the pleasure centre of their brain. Praise is a great place to start, stickers, snacks, tiny animal erasers, maybe shiny treasures if they have corvid like proclivities. Whatever it is make sure you give it to them personally, make sure you show you're genuinely happy with them, and make sure its something they cant get or aren't allowed to have otherwise. If the do fail (and they will sometimes) don't reward them, don't punish them, and don't let them punish themself. They want to be good for you, they will take failure hard. You need to make sure they know failure isn't a bad thing, everyone fails sometimes especially when starting to learn something. You need to reassure them that you're not angry or sad or upset and especially not disappointed.

Step 4. Be consistent. Reward them every time until they have a perfect record for a significant period of time. The specifics of this depend too much on the specifics of the behaviour and the reward so i wont try to give guidelines. Once they have that perfect track record start reducing the frequency of the rewards, stress to them that this isn't a punishment this is a really good thing. It means the training is working and they should be proud of themself and you are proud of them. Once you've weaned them off of the reward all together give them a big reward as a congratulations. And then sporadically reward them as a reminder that you're proud of them and to keep the habit strong. If the behaviour begins to drift you might need to go back and start rewarding them again, this shouldn't be seen as failure, its a normal part of training.

Step 5. Start again. Do they still want to be trained or are they happy with where they are? Is there another behaviour you want to modify? Is it time to try a more difficult modification? Do you need to switch up the reward to keep them motivated? Do you have the bandwidth to be consistent?

A note on brats. Specifically type 3 brats as described in THIS post. None of my advice changes. They still want to be good for you they just also want to play a fun game with you. Enjoy the fun game and train them to improve their lives. Just, don't try to train them out of being a brat, they're enjoying their game don't take away something that they enjoy, if you don't want a brat don't get with a brat.

Finally here is the as promised rant about punishment.

To the submissive reading this. You don't deserve to be punished, you never deserved to be punished. Even if you were a "problem" child you didn't deserve to be hurt for it. You still don't deserve to be hurt in ways you don't want to be. To the dominant reading this, yes you can rule through fear it is possible, but gods why?! If your ultimate goal isn't for your sub to be as happy and self fulfilled as possible, whatever that looks like for them, then what the fuck are you doing. And aside from that punishment isn't even an effective method of training. A dog kicked whenever it barks will learn to fear you and wont bark around you. A child spanked whenever you feel they've done something wrong will learn to resent you and will hide everything from you. An adult punished for stealing will learn to steal more effectively. Your submissive is no different from any of those examples. Kill the cop in your head, stop thinking of punishment as a legitimate means of control.

[muttsmischiefacademysblog]

Medical check first!

This will be a mini series of weekly blogs, to create a true understanding and to give as much information as possible.

If you work with a behaviourist the very first question should be have you had a veterinary check. Which details what the vet check should have explored. This will also be within your behavioural consultation pack prior to the appointment.

A Vet check with an integrative vet can ensure that there is nothing going on medically, and that there is no pain causing the behaviour that you are struggling with. This will help to narrow down the why of the behaviour and help the dog with triggers or in beginning the journey of identifying the why of the behaviour.

We highly recommend a Vet check with an integrative vet to ensure that there is nothing going on medically and that the behaviour you are struggling with is behavioural and not medically related as pain is fluid and vets tend to simply look at isolation pain and not chronic pain or unwellness. An integrative vet will see your dog as an individual and do a blood panel, possibly a pain trial and ask you lots of questions to get a better picture. Recording videos of your doga movements and behaviours can also be a great starting point for the vets.

Just as we respect individuals with invisible disabilities we should also respect that we don't know what is going on internally within our dogs bodies.

Not all invisible conditions cause symptoms that we can see such as vomiting, changes in stools, limping, lethargy. During the chronic pain symposium - the ‘Prevalence of radiographic appendicular oa and associated clinical signs in young dogs’ with - Dr. Duncan Lascelles, I witnessed a dog from his study of a year old dog with arthritis in comparison to an older dog with arthritis both going up a set of steps. The older dog showed physically signs of struggling, the young dog did not but to their trained eyes an altered gait.

Another research paper looked at the impact of unwellness in dogs of all ages and the impact on owners and found that the owners of elder dogs were resigned to their dog becoming arthritic whereas owners of younger dogs couldn't believe it as they didn't see any obvious symptoms. (1)

This is why it is so important to seek out an integrative vet who will spend a good amount of time with you and your dog, observe their movements and want to know every detail about your dog to make a diagnosis or clear them. Which I will expand on in the next part of the series.

I just created a post about how to find an integrative vet as unfortunately most do not have their own practices and tend to work in a traditional vets with allopathic medicine. Allopathic medicine is pharmaceutical based medication for those who don't know.

Being holistically based, if you find yourself working with a holistic practitioner we prefer to work within an integrative team, so the other professionals within the team maybe wholly holistic such as hydrotherapy, chiropractors, physio, acupuncture but the vet will most often be integrative. We acknowledge that conventional medicine has its place but so does holistic.

Reflect for a moment if you still don't quite understand holistic, whichever dog food you feed whether you are BARF die hard or a kibble connoisseur most likely now in your cupboard will be salmon oil, some form of herbal supplements. You may also use Pet Remedy and Dorwest herbs for problems you feel confident in handling yourself.

Until the industrial revolution in the 1800’s pharmaceutical was the snake oil, until Beechams became popular in the mid 1800’s, we didn't have aspirin until the early 1900’s and until the first and second world war there was no insulin or penicillin.

In 1957 this is when the NHS in England as we kind of know the shell of the original NHS, wasn't entirely built so the poor could afford healthcare as was the original purpose. But to fund the exciting new world of pharma. (2)

In the early 1900’s the idea was to close medical schools which did not jump into pharma and still focused on herbal medicine as pharma was discovered as the cash cow. By the 1930’s there were no more medical schools that could teach unless it was pharma based.

Herbalist’s have been famous throughout history and also key people from ancient times to now such as Hippocrates. The hippocratic oath is recited by medical professionals still today!

Herbal medicine has also played a vital role in many cultures and for the empowerment of women too, which Hollywood coined and turned into snake oil peddling. All sorts of clever techniques will be used by capitalists to make cash fast.

The last homoeopathic school in the US closed its doors in 1920 because all of the medical students wanted to work with the exciting and revolutionary new pharma. However in the 1970s only 30 years after the boom of pharma going mainstream, homoeopathy made a comeback.

Sadly like the dog training industry pre 1970s many people turned to homoeopathy because like dog training there were no regulations and anyone could set up as a homoeopath and peddle snake skin oil and liver pills.

This all changed with one doctor called Dr. Samuel Hahnemann of Germany. From studying on himself he quickly found that medicating a well person could cause the symptoms of unwellness to a lesser degree and used the cowpox vaccination to cure smallpox with the famous term "like, cures like" or "Principles of similars." (3)

When the 1950’s began to see a revival in herbalism as soon as big drug companies realised this was another way to grab another section of the market they did that too, but had to now convince people it wasn't quackery and also they have decimated many plants and endangered species as well as contributed to species becoming extinct in the name of greed.

The European Union brought in new measures to decree that herbal medicines had to meet similar criteria to that of pharma medicines in 2011. (4)

So holistic doesn't necessarily mean herbalism and plants all the way or hoodoo, as it is sometimes referred to as. Herbalism is deeply rooted in science because it has had to prove it's worth to come back into circulation alongside pharma.

Holistic means an individualised focused approach to that one individual working within a multidisciplinary team, sure there maybe herbalists or aromatherapists involved or even elements of zoopharmacognosy elements because animals teach us so much about their needs through their own self selection both in the wild and domestic settings.

So this is why we rely on integrative vets, they have studied the path of pharmacy first, become qualified, practised and become seasoned and then evolved into their own practitioner based on their scientific learning. You can hear this directly from an integrative vet herself here following the link! https://canineflow.com/insights/how-to-find-a-holistic-vet-in-the-uk

References

Belshaw, Z., Dean, R. and Asher, L. (2020). ‘You can be blind because of loving them so much’: the impact on owners in the United Kingdom of living with a dog with osteoarthritis. BMC Veterinary Research, 16(1). doi:https://doi.org/10.1186/s12917-020-02404-5. ‌

Pharmaphorum (2020). A history of the pharmaceutical industry. [online] pharmaphorum. Available at: https://pharmaphorum.com/r-d/a_history_of_the_pharmaceutical_industry.

Loudon, I. (2006) A brief history of homoeopathy, Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine. U.S. National Library of Medicine. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1676328/

Anon, (n.d.). Legislation | British Herbal Medicine Association. [online] Available at: https://bhma.info/legislation-on-herbal-medicines/#:~:text=Traditional%20Herbal%20Registrations%20(THRs)

[local-hellhound-steals-spaghetti]

Let's talk about zoo animal welfare for a second...

(And I want to preface this by saying I have a 4 year Bachelor degree in Animal Science (focusing in welfare and behaviour with a major in Canine and Equine Science) before I got sidetracked into zoo animals and did 3 internships working with wild canids, ungulates and marine mammals - this involved both hands on behaviour modification/desenitisation as well as hands off behavioural observation and welfare study. I worked for 2 years as a marine mammal specialist and worked specifically in facilities to improve husbandry, behavioural training and welfare practises.

I also worked in a facility in the Asia Pacific, working to improve welfare standards for bottlenose dolphins and continued to work with cetacean welfare researchers after this. I also did a course in zoo management, husbandry and welfare and this involved working in an accredited zoo facility learning things like exhibit design, behaviour management and husbandry with multiple species.)

So a few points to say about zoo animal welfare when discussing zoo standards and practises:

The average person does not have the expertise to do behaviour observation and welfare evaluation in zoo animals - that's why when the general public visits a zoo and says "the animal looks sad" it's worth being skeptical of that claim. But it doesn't mean a gut feeling about a zoo's quality can be completely invalid. Just that it might be worth researching further or seeking more information.

However, with experience, it is possible to analyse behaviour in the context of welfare. And context to that behaviour is always important (for example, Moo Deng showing stress related behaviour towards the specific context of being touched or followed around by her keeper - very much an indication of poor handling practises)

Poor animal husbandry and welfare is not limited to specific countries or regions, however it can be more normalised and accepted under the influnce of cultures and laws. Or even just the culture of the zoo itself such as the "this is the way we've always done it" places.

Being an accredited zoo is a start to good welfare, but it doesn't make any sort of welfare concern obsolete. And accreditation is supposed to ensure that welfare concerns are addressed but because they are mostly run as a volunteer based organisation, they often don't have resources to check into every concern (unless it's a government funded organisation)

A zoo contributing to conservation research is great, but not if it is at the expense of the animals' welfare - welfare should always be prioritised, with research and conservation efforts to follow.

Welfare is a state that is in flux. So a negative welfare state can move into positive welfare state under different influences.

There are multiple factors that influence zoo animal welfare: enclosure/habitat, expression of natural behaviour, guest interaction, diet, enrichment, water quality, hygeine ect. It'll rarely just be one factor, though it does depend how salient that factor is.

Just because a keeper or management of a zoo have been there for a long time, doesn't mean they can't be criticised - it is possible to be still using outdated practises and believing in methodologies and management practises that need updating - that's the whole point of continued education

Having limited resources can often impact welfare. Giving a facility the resources they need to improve is a good start to improving welfare.

Even if an animal is being handled in an inappropriate way for a short time, that doesn't mean that can't have long term implications for welfare eg. if every time your dog jumped on you when you got home and you smacked him in the face once before going on with your day, that doesn't mean that your dog won't learn negative associations with your arrival just because it was one time.

Best practise husbandry of zoo animals involves:

Use of positive reinforcement based voluntary husbandry and health care

All interaction based on choice and voluntary interaction that is reinforced with primary reinforcement such as food

Mostly hands off approaches for the species that require them (ungulates, large primates, large carnivores)

Relatively stable social groups with aggression only in specific situations/contexts that are normal for the species

Back areas for animals to rest outside of public view

Species appropriate habitats to meet species specific behaviour requirements

Five freedoms of welfare being met but goes above and beyond the bare minimum

Poor zoo animal husbandry involves animals:

Being forced into anything such as presentations, education programs, medical procedures/gating

Any use of physical punishment such as chasing, slapping, pushing or poking - negative reinforcement such as bull hooks are also fairly outdated in handling species like elephants

Being excessively handled, chased and touched/restrained for no reason (eg. for social media videos)

Showing signs of avoidance and aggression constantly towards their keepers

Have constant conflict happening in their social groups

Are living in enclosures that are not suitable for their specific specific needs - size is only one factor in this. Substrate, habitat design, water quality ect. are also things to consider.

Are too close to the public/at risk from the public

Have no areas to retreat from the public/rest away from potential stressors

Have no enrichment program/no daily enrichment

Those are all flags that there could be some poor welfare happening and that a zoo is not prioritising welfare

Okay there's the ramble of the day done. Feel free to ask questions for further clarification if needed.

[ialreadymadeyouapromise]

𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃.

PAIRING: evan buckley x fem!reader WARNINGS: kissing, no use of y/n GENRE: FLUFF SONG INSPIRATION: no lie - sean paul, dua lipa WORD COUNT: 890

navigation | inbox | evan buckley masterlist

you’d been worried about evan for a while now. 

his lip biting habit was getting completely out of hand. it started as something you barely noticed, just a quick nip here or there when he was deep in thought. but over time, it had become constant. 

stressful situations? he’d gnaw at his lip. awkward silences? there he was, tugging at the tender skin with his teeth. even when he was doing something as mundane as scrolling through his phone, his lips bore the brunt of his absentmindedness.

it was driving you mad. not because it was irritating, though you had half a mind to grab his chin and physically stop him, but because his lips were perpetually red, swollen, and sometimes even cracked.

one particularly bad day, he’d been so lost in thought that his lips had started bleeding. you’d seen it happen from across the room, wincing as he dabbed at the cut with a tissue, looking sheepish when he caught your concerned gaze.

that was the final straw.

the solution came to you in the middle of the night. you’d been lying in bed, scrolling through your favourite online shop, when you stumbled across a set of flavoured lip balms. a lightbulb went off in your head. if evan couldn’t stop biting his lips, maybe you could make it more interesting, and beneficial – for both of you.

the next morning, you arrived at work armed with a plan and your first flavour was honey. sweet, subtle.

evan was sitting at the kitchen table in the station, staring blankly at his phone, his teeth worrying his bottom lip as usual. you’d been watching him for a few minutes, waiting for the perfect moment.

“buck,” you said, pulling the lip balm out of your pocket.

he glanced up, his brow furrowing as he took in your determined expression. “what’s up?”

instead of answering, you twisted the cap off the balm and applied a generous layer to your lips. then, before he could ask any more questions, you leaned over and kissed him.

it wasn’t a long kiss, just enough to transfer the balm, but it left him wide eyed and speechless.

“what are you–”

“fixing your problem,” you said simply, sitting back in your chair.

his fingers brushed over his lips as he stared at you, his cheeks turning pink. “you kissed me.”

“yes, and i’ll do it again if you keep biting your lips.” you smirked, leaning forward on your elbows. “think of it as behaviour modification.”

he blinked, still processing what had just happened. “that’s... definitely one way to go about it.”

“exactly,” you said, popping the cap back on the balm. “now stop biting them. they already look so sore,” you pout.

it didn’t take long for your new routine to become a new kind of habit. every time evan started biting his lips, you’d pull out the balm, apply it to your lips, and kiss him. 

each time, you’d surprise him with a new flavour – vanilla mint one day, strawberry the next, even coconut on a particularly warm afternoon.

at first, he’d get flustered, his cheeks turning red as he stammered out a protest. “you don’t have to–” he’d start, but you’d cut him off with a raised eyebrow and a quick kiss. over time, though, he stopped protesting altogether.

one evening, after a particularly grueling shift, you caught him absentmindedly nibbling at his lips while the two of you were watching a film. without a word, you grabbed the balm from the coffee table and applied it. this time, you used a cinnamon roll flavour. warm, sweet, and comforting.

evan didn’t even hesitate. as soon as you leaned in, his hands found your waist, pulling you closer. the kiss was deeper than usual, slower, more deliberate. you could feel the way his lips softened under yours, the balm working it’s magic. when he pulled back, his lips were shiny, free of any signs of his nervous habit.

“you’re not even trying to stop me anymore,” you teased, brushing a thumb across his cheek.

“why would i?” he replied, his voice low and warm. “best treatment plan i’ve ever had.”

the lip balm kisses became a running joke at the station. the team started noticing how often evan’s lips looked glossy, and when they caught on, you couldn’t stop the teasing.

“hey, buck, what flavour is it today?” chimney asked one morning, leaning against the counter with a knowing grin.

“peach,” evan mumbled, avoiding everyone’s gaze as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“peach?” chimney laughed. “man, you’re whipped.”

evan didn’t deny it. instead, he shot you a soft smile from across the room, and you felt a certain warmth flow through you as you gave him a shy smile in return.

weeks turned into months, and the habit that had once driven you mad now became something you both cherished. you started keeping track of flavours, surprising evan with his favourites and experimenting with new ones.

some nights, he’d pull you into his lap, his hands cradling your face as he kissed you just to guess the flavour.

“chocolate mint?” he’d ask, his voice soft and teasing.

“wrong,” you’d reply with a grin. “it’s mocha.”

“close enough.” he’d kiss you again, and you’d both laugh,

the habit forgotten in the warmth of the moment.

reblogs and comments are appreciated ᯓ★

© ialreadymadeyouapromise 2024.

[bluemerakis]

────────── ᝰ bluemerakis ༝༚༝༚ ────

❝ feelin’ fuckin’ fantastic ❞

part i/iii

read part ii here

─ ۶ৎ ─

pairing ୨୧ soldier boy x fem!supe!reader — how they met

warnings .ᐟ cussing, angst, masturbation m receiving, let me know if I’ve forgotten any!

synopsis ─ after the love of your life—soldier boy—is kidnapped by the russians, you strike a deal to work under them as a scientist so that you could keep tabs on your boyfriend. over the years, you managed to make modifications to compound v as per the russians’ orders, so that soldier boy could receive the treatments and be remade in a far greater image than any other living supe—a biological weapon. but it all comes to and end when you make contact with a strange group and conspire to get yourself and him out of dodge.

word count ~ 6.8k

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“He’s ready for you.”

Those very words crept past the nape of your neck to caress your ear as a warm breath, yet you felt the way it instilled chills down the expanse of your spine, whisking your attention away from one of the lab assistants you’d been checking stock with. You placed an apologetic hand on her shoulder, braving a thin-lipped smile as you excused yourself and handed her the clipboard of listed supplies.

“Take care of that for me, will you?” You murmured kindly, to which the assistant relieved you of the board with a meek of course, and you thanked her hastily before sending her on her way.

Turning to face the bearer of bad news, you were confronted by the guard you’d tasked with pulling Soldier Boy from his induced coma. Immediately, your attention snagged onto the faint trail of blood smudged above the curve of his upper-lip. It formed an incomplete line that told you he’d attempted to obliterate the evidence of his known temper with a hasty swipe of his thumb—but more so, it told you that Soldier Boy was in one of his fouler moods today.

The Supe was quite physically capable of inflicting more damage whenever he pleased, but his compulsive urge to do so only surfaced on his worser days—which seemed to be growing more frequent.

All courtesy of the godsent fucking side effects of induced sleep.

The technology was still so new despite being in use for these last couple of years, and hence you hadn’t been able to successfully map out any tangible links between behavioural alterations and manual arousal of the brain—you only knew that it happened. The how was as good a guess as anybody’s.

“Trouble?” you asked the guard pointedly, the hand at your side making a subconscious reach for your lab coat as you throttled the white material in anticipation.

You didn’t know why you still bothered to ask, really, when the answer to that singular question had always been the same. You couldn’t have Soldier Boy without the trouble. They were the sort of two-for-one special that you couldn’t have said no to—but at what cost?

The guard rolled his shoulders with a husk of embarrassment as he spoke, drawing your attention back to him. “You know the prick,” he grumbled, averting his gaze to acquaint every aspect of the hallway other than your own expectant stare. “He’s on some of the crazy shit today. . . jumped me and decided to lay one on me after we put him in the room—but don’t worry, I put him in his place.”

“Uh huh,” you murmured distractedly, your attention slipping past his figure to tune into the door that loomed like a menacing figure at the end of the facility’s pristine hallway.

The reinforced steel frame adorned with high-tech locks all along the perimeter could identify itself as Soldier Boy’s door—because who else could possibly warrant such caution within this secret facility?

Truthfully, you’d allowed the guard’s explanation to slip through your care entirely. You had bigger things on your mind—for one, what sort of greeting you could expect from Soldier Boy this time around. The induced sleep has been rough on his brain. It made him feral at times—made him blindly lash out like a rabid animal of prey. And he wasn’t notorious for restraint, either—god forbid or you’d have never had to expel the name Herogasm from your waking mind.

“If you’ll excuse me.” You brushed past the guard to put an end to the suspense you felt inevitably building at the idea of seeing Soldier Boy again—after all this time. Your fingertips seemed to tremble in solidarity.

“I’ll come with you,” the guard insisted, and the unpleasant screech of his heavy duty boots followed shortly after as he pivoted on his heels to follow.

“No, I’m going in alone,” you called over your shoulder without so much as a glance to spare.

“Well, be careful!” the guard called to the back of your rushing figure. “He’s wilder today—not using a single goddamn braincell!”

Seems to be the common trend around here, you thought, birthing a mental scoff. Men. The last thing you needed was to add another twig to the fire by bringing along the guard Soldier Boy had already popped one on. He’d gone easy on the guard, you knew him well enough to deduce that, but it also meant that the flimsy punch responsible for the bloodstain above that guard’s lip was merely a promise for a truer beating somewhere down the line. That time would not be now—not if you could help it.

You hurled a dismissive hand over your shoulder that told the guard not to worry—a gesture to brush aside his concerns, but also to hopefully coerce away yours. If you wanted to feel braver, maybe a good place to start would be to act as though there was no reason to feel scared.

Would Soldier Boy hurt you?

You couldn’t help but lift a hand to ghost across your neck for a few seconds before lowering your hand back to your side.

The door that would give sure way to that nagging question seemed to grow with each passing second as you closed in on it, and when you came face to face with the worn, thick steel, the breath in your chest stilled. Your gaze lowered along the various locks, which had been left unlatched—not a bad finding, surely, if it meant he was tame enough to temporarily forsake the extra security. That thought gave permission to your lungs to breathe as per usual.

But when you really tried to listen, head slightly turning to tune in your hearing, you could make out a cluster of grunting and thudding from beyond the six inches of steel. It wasn’t a finding that eased away the dread your fingertips so insistently clung to—you’d hoped for an entirely different scenario.

Fuck, you cussed internally, taking your lower lip into a frustrated bite, before you decided to push through the anticipative haze by fastening your hand around the door’s handle.

You pushed the door open, your vision bombed by the blaring, overhead lights that beat down on the even whiter room. You’d always thought the room had been purposefully modelled to convey the impression of a void—it was no wonder the test subjects often went insane in here. The room swallowed up your senses for a moment, and you fluttered your eyes in an attempt to adjust to the blinding air before you came to focus on Soldier Boy’s figure in the centre of the stage.

He lay plastered along the length of a reinforced operating table, fist-drawn hands sentenced to his side by thick, steel-linked chains. There were a few sets to match, which secured his torso and legs to the table, intended to immobilise him as best as possible—but Soldier Boy seemed determined to test out the limitations of their purpose as he thrashed vigorously between the fortifying steel, guttural sounds filling the silence of the room.

He only laid the effort to rest when his head lifted from the table with a grunt, and his eyes fell onto your familiar figure. His sudden calmness seemed to ease off the four guards lining the table—their weapons long since drawn as a show of force, and a promise of death, should the subject make a successful escape.

Your airways thinned as you caught Soldier Boy’s stare, the rage that framed his eyes simmering into a semblance of relief as he drank in your presence.

He called your name. Your name.

Your lips parted as a slight breath of disbelief pierced its way through—forced from your lungs by the sudden jolt in your heart.

“Leave us,” you ordered, your attention lingering on the Supe for a few seconds longer before you broke the mental tether to whisk a hard stare across the idling guards. “Now.”

The guards all exchanged a look that seemed to communicate a shared feeling of doubt, but neither of them wore a pair big enough to outwardly criticise your command. So, hesitantly, they holstered their weapons in practiced sequence, then in complete silence, they streamed from the room in an orderly fashion.

The last one to slip past you lingered at your ear only to murmur, “we’ll be outside to intervene if anything goes wrong.”

Don’t bother, is what you wanted to say—you knew just the way to go about handling Soldier Boy. After all, you’d been doing this for years. But you also knew that this was standard protocol set in place to protect any and all employees—especially when said employee was as valuable as you.

So, instead, you turned your chin slightly to offer the guard an acknowledging nod, which allowed him to slink through the doorway and lug the heavy door closed behind him. The mechanism clicked into place, and it echoed brashly between the four walls of this inspired asylum.

You turned your attention back to Solider Boy, who still had his eyes patiently fixed on you. The hands at his sides had stilled completely, and his body had relaxed against the cold steel of the table, but there was still a tension bracketing his jaw that was yet to release, even at the sight of you.

“The hell was it this time, huh?” His sombre voice dampened the hollow air—you’d almost forgotten how profound the rumble in his throat was, and it tickled your senses in all the right ways. “Three, four months? A year?” He seethed, the muscles of his jaw faltering with great restraint.

“Six months,” you told him levelly, chin lifting slightly as you endured the brunt of the guilt that was evoked under his resentful glare.

You didn’t hold any joy for this procedure—pulling him in and out of an induced sleep throughout the years only to inject him full of experimental compounds that burned him from the inside out. You hated it, almost as much as he did. But that was just the way things had to be—for now, at least. It’s what the Russians had brought you here to do—and funnily enough, it was the only way to keep him safe.

There was a scoff from Soldier Boy, followed by a soft thud as he allowed his head to collapse back onto the metal frame. “Yeah, you’d know. . . fuckin’ stewardess on the sidelines, draped in that goddamn lab coat while they pluck your guinea pig from the greatest fuckin’ nap of his life.”

You let loose a light huff at that, the trembling in your fingertips beginning to slip away at last. “Yeah?” You began moving off to the side of the room where various tables lined the walls, coming to a stop at the nearest one. It was adorned with nothing but a black, sealable case with a label signed sample 246. Your own handwriting. “And what’d you dream about?” You asked, reaching to unclip the case before lifting up the top compartment to reveal what horrors lay inside.

“You.”

Your hands faltered on the case, your chin slightly buckling to take in the view of the table as that singular word bounced about the dark corners of your mind. Suddenly, your breathing sounded a lot louder in your ears, and you managed to catch a slight hitch in your airways.

“What about me?” You pushed on almost timidly—dreading the honest answer to such an open-ended question.

Throughout the years spent in this facility, there were various versions of yourself that you could recall—creatures you’d become in order to endure and survive the brutalities of your work under the Russians. None of those versions had a commendable reputation—not one of them. And that scared you—the thought that Soldier Boy had come to meet so many of those prior versions, and that he might’ve forgotten the one he’d fallen in love with all those years ago. If you were put in front of the mirror, you couldn’t honestly say that you’d recognise yourself, either.

There was a pause from Soldier Boy, and the silence was so loud that your ears began to ring. “Don’t play stupid with me,” he said at last, coupled by the soft clinking of chains against the table.

Instinctively, you glanced over your shoulder with an undertone of panic. But when you took in the view of him, he was still cemented in the same position, and his head was already turned toward you—likely to prowl after your every move like a waiting predator.

“Yeah, that’s right, look at me,” he grinned, but the gesture wasn’t genuine, and it was plucked from his lips quicker than you could blink it away.

“It’s the same dream, every fuckin’ time,” he continued. “Birdsong, all around—god, the fuckers never stick their beaks in the bark. . . Anyways, there’s sun streamin’ in through the windows. And there you are, in my bed, a mewlin’ mess between the sheets with not an inch of modesty anywhere on that fine body of yours. I’ve got you pinned, and I mean really pinned between the sheets—skin’s fuckin’ bruising—and instead of pleadin’ for some sort of release, you’re telling me you love me. Pretty sure I remember the feelin’ of my ballsack puckerin�� up at that.”

A smile crept its way back onto Soldier Boy’s lips as his gaze raked over your stunted expression, and this time, it was founded on blatant curiosity.

“You look surprised,” he remarked, and there was a lot of room for him to poke at any aspect of your reaction, but he held onto his tongue with a practiced calmness. You couldn’t help but feel as though he had some unspoken motive.

You drew in a steadying breath, fighting to control the influx of mental pictures that his dream seemed to coerce into your brain. But it was hard to deny something its rightful place, especially when said dream of his was not a dream at all, but a memory.

Slowly, you turned your head back to the case at hand, focus falling onto the singular needle cushioned within a foam imprint. With one hand, you reached to free the needle, and with the other, you clicked the the case closed again.

“I am surprised,” you admitted, bringing the needle up to your eye line as you studied the blue serum behind the glass.

“Do tell.”

You waited and watched as a bubble soared through the compound to cling to the uppermost point of the vile, then you flicked your finger across the glass to dissipate its fragile skeleton. You lowered the needle and turned to face Soldier Boy, who entertained a mildly curious look on his features.

“This sleep you’ve been under, it’s not exactly. . . well-understood. We’ve hit a few bumps in the road. The worst of the effects has to do with the patient’s cognitive function.”

He scoffed. “What, you mean to tell me I’m goin’ dumb?”

“No,” you answered carefully, taking a few steps toward the table. “It’s your memory. There were times after we’ve woken you where you failed the standard procedure questionnaire—things about your life. . . thing’s that you’ve answered a hundred times before. You should know it all by now—it’s really just there as a sanity ritual. But, like I said, there were times you’ve failed it, and it doesn’t always happen, but it’s becoming more frequent.”

You stopped before the table with a few inches of space to spare, noting the way the confusion on Soldier Boy’s face seemed to deepen with each passing second that you spoke.

“There’s some retrograde effect to it, though,” you continued. “Sometimes, you wake up in a fit state. You’re calm, and you’ve got a memory as best as it’s ever been. . .” You trailed into uncertainty, feeling at war with your role in his current memories.

You knew perfectly well where you stood with him, but you wanted to—needed to know what version of you currently stood with him, and that all banked on just how much his drug-addled brain remembered this time around—details of his life before the sleeping tank, about his purpose, and about his relationship with you.

His brows furrowed as he gazed up at you. “And the other times?” He prompted you to continue.

You cleared your throat self-consciously, your eyes wandering down to the hands chained at his side. “Well, the other times, you wake up explosively, blindly dealing fists faster than the guards can reach for their weapons. You even managed to kill a guard, once.”

“Badass,” he chuckled smoothly, deeply—the familiarity of it tugged at the fibres of your heart. “But don’t you get any ideas about what today’s little skirmish was all about.”

Those words caught you off guard. You tore your gaze away from his knuckles, brows kneading together as you acquainted the mischievous glint in his eyes—those goddamn eyes. A dick move from heaven to give him a feature as beautifully persuasive as that. You couldn’t help but drown in their green depths whenever he sentenced you to a hearty stare, and it’s an ocean you’d never need, nor want rescuing from.

“What’re you on about?” You asked.

“Don’t tell me you weren’t thinkin’ ‘bout that guard I fisted back there.” He lifted his first from the table to make a commotion that aided his words. “He tell ya I went berserk on him, hm?”

The hum in his voice sent a barely perceptible shiver down your neck, and it pulled forward a sudden memory of his frame pressed up against your back—broad, bare chest cushioning your exposed shoulder blades as he sank you deeper into the mattress with each, drilling movement of his pelvis into yours. His lips would find your ear, murmuring endearing words of encouragement to spur you on, doin’ so good for me, sweet girl—my sweet girl, and he’d hum ever so sweetly at the sound of your rapid undoing.

You pushed the memory away, reinforcing the grip on the needle that had begun to slip under your frail focus. “He said you were a hassle, that’s all,” you told Soldier Boy. “And that he put you in your place.”

He gave a scoff the most scornful you’ve heard thus far. “Please, dickhead’s got the swing of ninny. Didn’t even leave a scratch. I, on the other hand, gave him the slightest taste of my dick with that punch—and I’ll tell ya, I knew damn well what I was doin’ for every glorious second of it. It wasn’t the goddamn drugs pumped into me.”

A hopeful spark lit up in your chest as you slowly began to confirm the parameters of his mental state, and you felt eager to ask him just how much he remembered this time around, but you fought to compose yourself. Instead, you asked, “did you pass the questionnaire?”

Soldier Boy held your stare with an almost devilish glint to his eye. “Cum laude,” he said.

You couldn’t help but let slip a breath of a relieved chuckle, but Soldier Boy’s charm sobered up pretty quickly as he forged a more serious look. His eyes wandered down to the needle in your hand, which he acknowledged for the first time since you’d pulled it out.

“This the part where you stick it in me?” He caught himself with a sultry chuckle, his eyes fluttering closed as he turned his head to face the ceiling again. “Man. . . never thought I’d hear those words outta my own mouth, that’s usually your line.”

Heat momentarily flushed your cheeks at that comment, but you pushed it away and lowered your gaze to the needle in grasp, a heavy sense of regret coupling your words as you pushed out a soft, “I’m sorry.”

“Well, what’s it gonna be this time ‘round? Burnin’ me blind? Cramps that feel like a fuckin’ mole tryin’ to explode from my stomach? A full body burn-up and debilitatin’ seizures seem to be a favourite.”

You listened to him with a guilt in your heart that had long since hollowed out much of your chest—there was not much else to feel in all the time between his ritualistic awakenings. “I’m sorry, Ben,” you told him again, only because you were unsure of what else you could be saying.

You let slip a heavy sigh of defeat at the circumstances, before you seized up on the name you’d accidentally let slip. You tore your gaze away from the needle to glance at Soldier Boy with slight anticipation, but he only turned to stare at you with a quieted expression. The use of his real name didn’t seem to come as any unfamiliar shock, and that gave you some solace on the mental debate of how much he remembered about your relationship.

He gave a small jerk of his chin. “Come on, then, do your thing and get it over with. Don’t care for all the fuckin’ edging.”

You closed in on the last of the space separating your bodies, and you took the time to observe the clean pair of scrubs he wore this time around, as well as the gentle whiff of soap radiating from his skin. They made a habit of washing him shortly after pulling him from sleep, usually once the questionnaire was completed. As much as they considered his bodily hygiene, you only wished they’d taken it a step further to address the growing beanstalk of a beard plastered to his chin—not his best look by far, but it was something you could work with.

You reached out your free hand to hover over his arm, eyes trailing up to his. He watched you closely, intensely, with an emotion not quite decodable by your means. “I’m going to inject it into your arm,” you warned him.

“And take your damn time with it, apparently,” he said, lifting his arm to cover what little distance he could manage before the chains reinforced their hold.

You turned your eyes onto his presented arm, and hesitantly, you reached to snake your hand under his elbow. His skin felt so warm against you—it was comforting.

“In these six months you’ve been asleep, I tried my best to modify the compound to have as little side effects as possible. I’ve tested it on the animal subjects, and at most, they showed an elevated body temperature.”

“Yeah, well, let’s just see how much my primal DNA counts in my favour,” he scoffed as he watched you at work, but never once did that look in his eyes waver.

Your lips tackled silence as you focused on the task of inserting the needle. You didn’t have to do much searching to choose the vein to victimise—the vessels were quite open to appreciation along the length of his arm. You lifted the needle toward your vein of choice and slowly inserted it through the skin. Carefully, you began to press down on the plunger, watching as the contents drained from the vile and into the vessel streaming beneath the skin.

Ben sucked air through his teeth, which snapped your attention to his face. His eyes were screwed shut, his teeth displayed in a clench as his head burrowed back slightly further into the table.

“Are you okay?” You asked him.

“Feelin’ fuckin’ fantastic,” he pushed out sarcastically, the squeeze of his eyes yet to let up.

“Good to know,” you muttered with a brief, dismissive flick of your eyes before you focused on the needle once more.

With the last of the contents emptied, you carefully released the hold on his elbow to draw a swab of cotton from your coat. You pressed the material over the insertion point of the needle and applied a light pressure before you began withdrawing the steel length from his skin.

You set the needle onto the table beside his arm and retrieved a plaster from your pocket, and after removing the paper film, you secured the cotton against his skin. You reclaimed the needle and briefly left Ben’s side to place it back into the case before you returned to monitor his vitals.

“Do you feel any different?” You asked, coming to stand beside his arm.

“I’m hot as fuck and more sober than I’d like to be,” he answered wryly.

You were tempted to be snarky, but then you realised that compared to his usual state—the one you’d often come to find him in back in his prime days—this very well could be considered a difference of note.

There was a silence that carried out for a few minutes as you stood waiting to observe any worrisome changes, and it was never uncomfortable—not with him, but Ben eventually put an end to it.

“You know,” he began, a singular brow slightly cocked with curiosity. “You didn’t ask why I punched that dickhead asshole back there. I mean, we’ve established that my brain’s pretty much like that . . . what’s his name? The dude was born somewhere after me, smart as fuck—Stephenson fuckin’ somethin’—anyway, who gives a fuck? I got all my shit in one place, I’m not a goddamn freak show of flying fists, so ain’t ya the least bit curious about it?”

You glanced at him with a hint of surprise. “It’s not exactly off-brand for you to go around punching people, even on your good days,” you pointed out with a hint of amusement.

He rocked his head side to side in a gesture of acceptance. “Eh, fair enough. But I’ll tell ya,” he said.

You watched him closely, a soft smile on your lips. It felt good to talk to him normally. You’d missed this dearly. “I’m listening.”

“The fucker made a jab at me about you, said he’s been keeping one hand in your panties since they put me under—takin’ sweet care of you all the while. So I gave him a light face fuck, the only action he’s ever gotten, and I’d have done a whole lot more had the four assholes out there not strapped me down like some kinky bondage plaything.”

Your heart fluttered at the idea that he’d gotten so protective over you. But you barely had time to process the emotion before he continued.

“He ever touch you?” Ben’s stare was hard, but despite the soldier act, you caught the way his eyes briefly flickered down to your lips.

“No,” you answered instantly, bristling slightly at his nerve to ask. “Never. He’s all talk, no show, and even if he had something to show for it, I can handle my own.”

Am impressed smirk stretched Ben’s lips. “Yes, ma’am,” he drawled. “And I always did love that about you.”

Those words paved way for the question you’d been itching to ask since the beginning. You dropped your gaze to your hands, planted against the table beside his.

“Ben,” you began softly. He gave a deep hum of acknowledgment. “Just how much do you remember about me?”

There were a few uncaptioned moments of silence, and you almost wished you could see his face to decipher his thoughts, but some other emotion kept your eyes glued to veins of his arm.

“Everythin’,” he answered at last. “Every damn thing.”

You glanced at him, feeling a mixture of surprise and relief at that confession, and released a long sigh. “You have no idea how relieved that makes me feel.”

Ben held your stare intently, his eyes softening a fraction. “Those times you said my memory got fucked. . . did I forget you?”

You nodded hesitantly and saw the slight ghost of disbelief whisk across his eyes, which caused your heart to ache with the less fond memories between the two of you.

The first time it’d happened was twelve years ago. You’d been right beside the pod they’d pulled him from, and in the midst of his confusion and blind rage, he’d grabbed ahold of you at the neck—another strange face, nobody of any significance to him. Just another damned Russian. You’d been strangled in his grasp for quite a while; the guards coming to your aid were unable to pry his hands from your windpipes in time to escape a blackout.

You’d woken up a day later with severe bruising to your neck and collar bone, and the only news that could’ve been considered good was the fact that you were lucky enough to escape his rage alive. The force with which you were choked should have killed you, you knew that. The only reason you’d survived is because you, yourself, were a Supe.

You’d met Ben back in his prime, before the team had staged the coup that had landed him here. When he was taken by the Russians and betrayed by everybody around him, you’d struck a deal with the higher-ups to get a foot on the inside of the entire operation. Under them, you worked as a scientist to formulate compounds that would enhance Ben to the level that the Russians needed him at.

The first time Ben saw you walk into the medical room, he’d nearly imploded with relief, panic and betrayal all at once, but you’d never let on your relationship with him to anybody within the operation. So to any outside onlooker, you two were strangers to one another, only connected by the duty of the experimenter and her experiment.

It was crucial to keep things that way, especially when you’d been in the company of some of the Russian generals who wanted to witness the first experimental injection on Ben firsthand. Upon his recognition of you, you had to convince everybody that he was undergoing an episode of psychosis—formulating a romantic relationship between the two of you that had never existed in the first place. You had blamed it on the effects of the induced coma, and it had easily passed as an excuse due to the little knowledge possessed on its side effects at the time. Granted, not much progress was made in that field even in this current day and age.

Eventually, when you’d managed to gain enough reputation to demand treatment sessions alone with Ben, you’d gotten the opportunity to explain everything. He had little to be happy about, given that everybody he once trusted had betrayed him in a blink, and the one person he had left to cherish and love was currently pumping him with unreliable modifications of Compound V.

But with time, he’d come to accept it.

You weren’t proud of it. And in the moments that Ben would awaken only to forget you, he’d made sure to toss out every vile insult and cuss word he could each time you slid that needle into his arm, which only broke your heart further. But it was the price to pay to ensure nothing worse would happen to him.

The only barrier that had been set between him and a fate worse off, was you, and that’s a fact you’d tried hard to remind yourself of in all the passing years you’d spent drowning in guilt for your sins. But even then, it never made enduring his mind-swept states easier, and especially not when he looked at you with such hatred solidified in his gaze that it became all you could think about.

You came back to the present when Ben’s hand struggled through the restraints to graze your fingers. You flinched at the touch, at first, but it wasn’t long before your hand relaxed within his hold. So warm, so gentle, even considering all that he’s been through. It was comforting to know just how human he still was.

“Untie me,” he said, and you opened your mouth to argue before he cut you off with an air of eager reassurance. “I feel fine. It’s been a good couple of minutes, and nothin’s happened. Don’t ya trust me?”

You tilted your head slightly at him. “You know I do,” you murmured, your hand tightening within his. “But Ben, there’s something el—”

“Untie me first, then tell me about all the shit I’ve got comin’ for me,” he insisted.

Your eyes scanned the room self-consciously, picking out the two corners that had cameras mounted to their wall. “You know they’re watching us,” you told him. “Our every move.”

“Yeah, fuck those fuckers,” he sniffed, following your gaze to do his own quick sweep of the room. “Fuckin’ assholes!” He called aloud, and you tightened your hand in his as a warning. He glanced back at you with a slight scoff. “What? They’ve seen my bare balls and ass—shit, they’ve even stroked it. They know damn well how I feel about them.”

“Don’t provoke them,” you told him, and he flashed you a look that screamed bet, though he chose to resort to his best behaviour as he clamped down on his tongue. “I can’t take your chains off, they’ll storm the place the moment I do. I’m sorry.”

Ben held your gaze for a moment as he considered the circumstances, then his attention slid past you and lifted to the ceiling above your head.

You turned your head to follow his gaze. “What?” You asked, turning back to him with curiosity.

“Every time they roll me in and outta this room, I get a glimpse of the security room,” he said in a low murmur, raw emphasis on keeping his words out the enemy’s ears. “There’s two cameras in this room. One behind ya—“ he made a gesture with a flick of his eyes, “—and one behind me in the opposite corner. And it’s my lucky fuckin’ day, cause the camera behind me’s busted.”

You frowned as he spoke. “And what favours has that got to offer you?” You asked.

Ben seemed content to explain. “Camera behind you’s the only one still workin’. But your body—god bless it in its fuckin’ entirety—is blocking their dandy view of my dick.”

You listened carefully, the crease in your brow beginning to loosen at the understanding of where he was headed. “Absolutely not,” you scolded him, a dumbstruck smile poking through.

“Oh, come on,” Ben drawled. “Why the fuck not? I’ve been all pressed up in that sweaty fuckin’ tank for weeks, months, years on end and every time my eyes close, I get that goddamn dream of you and I, hittin’ pound town like there’s no fuckin’ tomorrow—shit, and I mean no tomorrow. Seriously, all day, all night—“

“All right, all right,” you cut him short, heat beginning to flush into your cheeks.

“Now, it’s not gonna be a recreation of that sweet, sweet day,” Ben said regretfully. “But if you could give a man a taste of relief by using that hand for somethin’ other than sticking a needle in my arm, I will fuck you senseless as a reward as soon as I’m freed the fuck outta these chains—you just gimme a time and place. That sound like a plan, baby?”

You couldn’t deny the hot burn that jolted it’s way into your core at the sound of that promise, but you pushed it aside to address the other issue you hadn’t yet been given the chance to voice.

“It’s a date, Ben, but you need to listen to me about that something else,” you told him, releasing his hand.

Ben puckered his lips as he coaxed forward a shushing noise, jerking his chin toward his hard on. He didn’t often need a lot of pampering to erect his dick—the bloody thing could get off on the scent of your perfume alone.

With a frustrated sigh, you tossed a quick glance over your shoulder, glimpsing the camera that had been peering over you since you’d set foot in here. You saw it blinking with a red light at its centre, the dead giveaway of recording. You then turned to look at the opposite camera, and it didn’t hold the same red dot in its core, which meant that Ben was, indeed, right.

Of course he was.

“Oh, for fuck’s sakes, Ben,” you muttered in disbelief, tensely guiding the hand that had held his only seconds ago toward the bulge in his pants, simultaneously shifting your body to shield the scene more firmly. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Try not to make it too obvious,” Ben advised smugly, his eyes dipping to where your hand slipped under the flimsy waistband of his scrub pants.

“Shut up.” You were immediately greeted by his firm hard-on, not having any underwear beneath the scrubs. It felt warm and swollen against your palm, and when you passed a curious thumb over his tip, you felt the damp kiss of his pre-cum.

“Yeah, he’s a little excited—you felt it, get a move on,” he ordered impatiently.

You’d forgotten just how much of a curt dick he could be when it came to anything remotely sexual.

You wrapped your fingers around his length, your thumb gathering all tangible pre-cum to spread it along the head before you began to pump him with slow, fluid strokes.

Ben’s head collapsed back onto the table, his mouth falling slightly ajar with breathy grunts of pleasure.

“I need to make it less obvious?” You sniped in a harsh, low tone. “How about you?”

“Fuck,” Ben spat, lifting his head with what looked like great effort to face you. “Forgot just how good you feel, you’ll forgive a man for being expressive.”

Your heart fluttered at his compliment, and you tightened your hold on his girth to applaud his behaviour. “Keep on talking to me,” you said. “Make it look like we’re having a conversation.”

“Yeah. . .” Ben stammered distractedly, a clear indication that he was struggling to multitask.

“Oh, for fuck’s sakes,” you muttered under your breath, picking up the pace of your strokes. You made sure to come down on his balls with considerable force to add to the stimulation, and he let slip a strangled, gruff moan that caused your core to ignite its own fire.

“Atta girl, pumpin’ it almost as well as your pussy does,” he praised breathlessly as he struggled against his restrains with a frustrated grunt. “These fuckin’ things. . .” He trailed off and met your gaze. “What was it you wanted to say?” He asked, his chest beginning to heave more rapidly now.

You were doubtful that you had his full ear to unload the importance of what you were about to tell him, but you decided to spill that can anyways, simultaneously making sure to keep up the pace of your strokes.

“This is the last injection you’ll ever have to get, Ben,” you told him softly. Ben’s sex-addled haze sobered up real quickly at that, his eyes now fully focused onto your face.

“The fuck you on ‘bout?” He asked.

“Tonight, you’re getting out,” you told him, feeling as the heat around his length began to build with each continued stroke. You could see Ben strain with the movements, wanting desperately to reach his release while trying to focus on your words. “I made contact with this group, they’ve been looking for you for a while—followed your trail all the way out here. You wanna know what the Russians intended to use you for? Well, Turns out, you’re the one strongest biological weapon that planet Earth has to offer.”

His eyes widened briefly at that before screwing shut as his head collapsed back onto the table with a strained growl, and then you felt him implode, his warm seed trailing down your hand. You gave a few more slow pumps to urge the last of it out, then gently released his manhood and discretely pulled your hand from his pants.

“Feel better now?” You asked, bringing your hand to wipe his juices onto your coat.

Ben lifted his head just in time to catch that act, which caused him to grunt in disappointment.

“Do it right next time,” he scolded you. “You know you love the taste of it.”

You did, but this wasn’t exactly the time or place for you to express that particular savoury tooth. “Listen,” you continued the earlier conversation. “This group, they need you, and come tonight, they’ll break you out of that fucking tank you’ve been stuck in all these years.”

Ben’s expression seemed to knead both relief and anticipation as he considered your words. “Where will you be?” He asked earnestly. “I’m not leavin’ without you.”

You took his hand into your own, and he squeezed it tightly. “You won’t,” you assured him. “I’ll be right there beside you when you wake up. But for now, you’ve got to go along with everything—act normal, like it’s any other day.”

Ben nodded slowly, the most docile and compliant you’d ever seen him. “These people . . . how much do you know about ‘em?”

You shook your head slightly. “Not a lot,” you admitted. “But enough to know they’re the lesser evil. They get us out of here, you do what you need to do, and then we run.”

“Yeah, fuck it, I’ve had worse odds,” he decided, something which you could contest to. “This group, they have a name?”

“Yeah,” you said, recalling the blatant stupidity of it. “They call themselves The Boys.”

──────────────────────

a/n ─ man, this was pumped out of me at 3 am because my biological urges just decided to go full-blown FUCK YEAH for jensen ackles. i NEED him.

thank you for reading! all likes, comments & reblogs are deeply appreciated

tags — @gibson-g1rl @bohemianblasphemy @fallbhind

want to become part of the taglist for any future soldier boy works?

other works ─ the boys masterlist

© bluemerakis ─ do not plagiarise or steal any of my works.

[narendur]

The funniest thing to me about this is that you are actually doing the one thing my Italian grandmother insisted was important to make good pasta sauce and that is actually cooking the tomatoes all the way down.

You are doing it right except for your onion crimes (and overcooking the peas but I guess that's a matter of opinion).

You could get weirder with the spices and veg too imo, including stuff like cinnamon, fish sauce (not together), chopped spinach, and zucchini. Big recommend trying balsamic vinegar - add before you cook it down for caramel notes (like burnt edge but nice).

If you want it to cook faster (but probably splatter more) you can use a large pan to spread it out. Also also if you want meat in it you can add it in at onion time (before tomatoes!!! Please. Ur poor boiled onions). Or slow cook half covered in the oven but that kinda blurs the line with stew and roasts. Or mix in hot water at the end to make a tomato soup (cold water may de-emulsify tasty oils from onion frying, flavour additions, or meats). Many options with a good cooked tomato!

I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I'm not going to stop

[sukunasweetheart]

to satiate, seduce, and to sin.

HEED THE WARNINGS; fem!reader, half human(?) and half snake sukuna, its highkey yandere, mentions of eating people, DUBCON elements, dacryphilia, degradation, HEAVY smut, breeding, cum inflation, use of threats, squeezing/constricting, brainwashing, manipulation, body modification, trueform sukuna (two dicks), mentions of pregnancy and lactation.

Word count: 5k+

sorry guys, i kind of went all out with this one...

you are a researcher, and you’re looking for a rare specimen that most have assumed has disappeared or simply never existed in the first place. but recently, a few traces of activity from one has arisen, and you’re on the case to try and find him before he vanishes without a trace again. unfortunately for you, you decided to embark on this journey during the heat of his mating season... which leads you to making an interesting deal with him.

snake hybrids are and always has been extremely rare as a species - you’ve only seen them in books and blurry images. the information obtained on them - diet, habitat, behaviour - are also mostly just speculations. how they reproduce is shrouded in mystery. despite being half snake, they are much, much biologically different from actual snakes. many believe they are just a fabricated species.

you however, are confident that they are real, and that they’re still around somewhere. pursuing your passion for them, you’ve started another one of your many solo expeditions in search of any clues, or hopefully, one of them in the flesh.

and in this current one, you’ve seemed to hit a jackpot. you’ve been following this enormous snake trail for hours now. you’re really close to finding him, you’re certain.

after another hour or so of walking, a large cave can be sighted a good distance away, to your excitement. you tread carefully through the dirt, dead leaves and tree bark on the ground, making your way towards it.

standing at the entrance to the cave, you hesitate for a moment, heart thumping wildly. you’re so close. this could be a groundbreaking discovery, or it could be another false lead. you’re unable to see the other end of the cave at all, due to how ominously pitch black it is inside. good thing you brought a flashlight with you.

you put your backpack onto the ground and take it out, turning it on and off a couple of times to make sure that it was working. good as new. putting your backpack on again, you take in a deep breath before beginning to carefully make your way inside.

it’s awfully quiet. that’s usually a bad sign.

and if it weren’t for your flashlight, you would’ve needed a lot of time to let your eyes adjust to this darkness, as there’s little to no light that reaches into this cave. your footsteps echo against the walls, the noise bouncing off and heading down further, catching the attention of something lurking within the deepest end of this cave.

“hello?” you say boldly, letting your voice ring out, reaching out to whatever might be sitting in the dark before you. no answer.

you continue your walk, pointing your light towards the walls occasionally, and then the path in front of you to make sure you didn’t trip over anything. with every step, you start to feel more afraid. what if there’s nothing here? what if this whole trip and the expenses and the time you spent was all for naught? the thought of going back empty handed makes your stomach sink.

you halt altogether when your light falls upon something on the ground. a small creature...? no... it looks like...

the end of a large snake’s tail. 

in the blink of an eye, something wraps around your whole body tightly, rendering you completely immobile. your eyes widen and a frightened yelp escapes your throat, but you’re still holding on tight to your flashlight. a deep voice resounds in your ears, a voice that sounds so human.

“look at what’s wandered aimlessly into my den. a free meal. did you come in hopes to get devoured?”

you do your best to point your flashlight towards the source of the voice.

a man that has his arms crossed... looking closer, he has an extra pair that rests at his sides. a large mouth on his stomach. and from his waist down, he has the body of a snake. he stares down at you, amused. his giant tail coils tighter around you, noticeably more around the swell of your chest.

“...and a woman, no less. what do you want?”

your eyes continue to wander around his features, taking note of everything that stands out to you. glowing red eyes-- and just like his extra arms, he has extra eyes too! they’re a lot smaller than his main ones, however. oh, you’re so curious and ecstatic. so many extra features nobody had thought this hybrid would have.

“answer my question, vermin. who do you think you’re dealing with here? i’ll crush you until you’re choking on your own blood,” he spits harshly, wrapping around you tightly. you’ve come at a bad time. 

he’s in a rather sensitive mood right now, being so...pent up.

“i-i apologise... i’m a researcher. i’ve come this way to look for you,” you begin to speak carefully. “i wanted to prove your existence to the world. and it’s been a long while... but i’m finally here.”

he lets out an exasperated sigh. what a pathetic, insignificant goal you have. humans really love treading into places where they don’t belong, following their foolish curiosity, like a dog being lead around by its nose.

“i wanted an opportunity to observe you, if i may. just write some notes down... and a couple of pictures. would that be alright? please? it won’t take long at all.”

your eyes begin to wander again, being out of your control as you instinctively end up doing so, as if to prove sukuna right about your kind.

the scales of his tail... they have a very unique pattern to them, being adorned with beautiful shades of red and black. similar patterns run down his face and upper body as well. you’re itching to give him a sketch in your notebook. without thinking, you wriggle your arm out from his grasp and run your hand along them.

“ah... so magnificent. it feels exactly the same as a normal snake’s. i want to know more,” you mumble to yourself, loving the texture that runs underneath your fingers and palms. it makes him give a slight jolt, giving you a startle as you instantly take your hands off of him.

“i’m sorry! did that hurt? or...”

he narrows his eyes at you, staring into your innocent gaze as you blink back at him. a pleasant idea rises in his mind. his expression shifts into a gentler one, all too suddenly, as his tail loosens around you.

“...very well, then. i’ll let you observe me,” he relents, looking down at you with mischievous eyes.

“in exchange,” he very obviously gazes upon your physique lustfully, “your body is mine to use.”

being a rare species, its been a while since he’d had someone to breed with in the recent years. especially during mating seasons- it’s been frustrating, to say the least. he never thought he’d become so desperate as to resort to use a human for satisfaction, but he’ll take what he can get.

“huh?? i- well-” you begin to say, flustered by the sudden demand. your thoughts start racing, wondering if you were misunderstanding him, by any chance.

“do you mean...” 

“yes. i’m going to mate with you. although, humans can’t get pregnant from my seed. so there’s no need to be concerned about offspring.”

he says it so matter-of-factly that it startles you. you don’t want to know how he found out about that last bit of information... but you mentally jot down some notes about it anyway. so snake hybrids can’t crossbreed with humans despite being relatively similar in appearance... interesting...

you seem lost in thought again and sukuna grows impatient.

“so? what’ll it be?”

you shouldn’t agree to such an outrageous idea. it’s wrong, and... and researchers shouldn’t do such things with the subjects of their studies. and yet-

he notices you squeezing your thighs together, and grins. what an indecent woman. he’s never seen one so willing.

what can you do? you can’t afford to go back without any pieces of evidence. how would you prove your discovery? you fool yourself into thinking that you’re only doing this for the sake of your career.

“...alright. we have a deal,” you tell him meekly. you can also take this chance to find out more in depth information about... his reproductive system. what better way than to experience it yourself? ...you internally smack yourself in the face for that last part.

“where do you want to start?”

“i’d like to have a closer look at your upper body, please.”

his tail shifts to bring you closer to him. you make proper eye contact with him for the first time, and being so close to his face makes your heart thump faster. if you forget about the tail and all... he’s just a handsome looking man.

you grip onto your flashlight tightly. he has pretty eyes, too. you ask for his hand, and see that his nails are dark, and sharp. for someone who’s half-reptile, he feels oddly warm.

“i want to see your teeth next,” you tell him.

“don’t be surprised if i bite,” he responds, before opening up his mouth for you. you hope he’s only joking.

you inspect the inside closely, watching his snake tongue wriggle slightly, and his well-pronounced fangs that gleam as your light hits it. 

“are you venomous?”

“i can be. it depends.”

you ask him a series of questions, pushing your limits to get as much information as possible from him.

“and the mouth on your stomach?”

he brings you down so you can have a look for yourself. this one is much bigger, but pretty much has the same basic features as the first one. fascinating. when you touch the lower lip, he suddenly encloses your hand with his larger mouth. shocked, you gasp and retract your hand quickly, to find out that it is still intact. he chuckles sinisterly above you.

“p-please put me down so i can grab my things.”

he lets you go and you immediately begin taking various items out of your bulky backpack. you place your flashlight down onto the ground facing up, so that the light hits the roof of the cave and illuminates your surroundings a bit. you start off by writing down a few pages of notes.

...was a little hostile during the first interaction...communicates sufficiently in human language... was found resting in a cave...four eyes, and four arms, including an extra mouth on the stomach...

it was pages and pages worth of description, anything off of the top of your head. you’d have to rewrite and tidy it up later. a thought suddenly comes to mind.

“do you have a name?” you ask him.

“a well-asked question. i’ll have you pleading with the name ‘sukuna’ later on, once you’re done with all that,” he tells you arrogantly, watching as you scribble into your little notebook.

...the specimen goes by the name of ‘sukuna’.

next, you grab your polaroid camera and aim its lens towards sukuna.

“there’s gonna be a small flash of light,” you warn him.

“yes, i already know what those things do.”

the last guy that tried to take his pictures without asking first, suffered some nasty consequences. it was all for naught though, because he didn’t taste very good at all.

you take as many pictures as you please, and he patiently remains still as he promised. you take a look at the results and once you’re happy enough, you neatly set them aside and shove everything back into your bag. truth be told, your heart could leap out of your mouth right now, from how intensely it was beating.

you had felt his eyes resting upon you from behind the whole time, feeling the way he was watching your body with his lecherous gaze, undressing you with it. 

“all done?” he voices gently, voice dripping with sweet poison. nothing like the tone he’d used when you first arrived here.

“...yes. are- are we doing it straight away?” it was a stupid question to ask, but you felt the need to say something, anything.

"i might lose myself if i have to wait any longer,” sukuna confesses, slithering closer to you.

“wait! let me just- i’ll get myself undressed.”

you had a feeling that if he did it, he’d simply rip everything off your body. you need something to wear for the trip home. sukuna smirks at you.

“...go on, then. put on a show for me, will you?”

the phrasing flusters you immensely, but you work hard to make your trembling fingers work to unbutton yourself and unhook your bra yourself. your breasts bounce lightly with every movement, and sukuna watches with incredible restraint.

“nothing like watching a meal prepare itself in front of your eyes... it’s a shame you’re only here to satisfy my lust and not my hunger too.”

the thought of it sends a shiver down your spine.

you swallow on nothing as you avoid his eyes, taking your last bit of underwear off. you’re scared, but in a strangely arousing way. have you always been this perverted?

“i-i’m done...” you say with a small voice, instinctively attempting to cover yourself up to maintain some form of decency.

“wonderful. let’s start with a little taste, shall we?” 

sukuna picks you up effortlessly with his arms, and without any stalling, your pussy is pushed up directly against the mouth on his stomach, his hands placed on your ass to support you while you wrap your legs around his waist.

“i’ll need to get your holes nice and loose for me. better it be pleasure than pain, right?”

something wet and warm slithers out and rubs up on your sex.

you nod with gratitude, watching the large tongue in anticipation. your arms loop around the back of his neck, and you’re looking down as he laps at your clit, making you quiver against his strong grip that holds your hips in place.

you timidly moan, immersing yourself in the feeling of this once-in-a-lifetime cunnilingus, of this strange snake’s tongue that rubs up against your sensitive cunt without holding back. it slowly slips its way inside you, making your hips jump in surprise.

“you’re sopping wet. i don’t think i even need to do much for this one,” sukuna comments, enjoying your little reactions. you continue to only stare at the tongue going in and out of your hole. he cocks his head slightly to the side.

“why won’t you face me up here? afraid to meet my eyes?” he voices rather sulkily, lifting your head up by your chin. once you see his lustful expression, something in you throbs without control.

“hah! your hole’s clenching around me so lewdly. it’s being honest, unlike you.”

the focus seeps out from your gaze, and you begin to enjoy yourself.

“yes... you needn’t be so shy. relent yourself to me.”

he pulls your face in closer to his, and kisses you in a feverish manner, shoving his forked tongue into your mouth. you moan pleasantly against his lips, and one of his spare hands claws at your breasts, groping them without mercy.

his bigger tongue slips out of your sopping cunt, and sinks itself into your ass instead. the saliva it secretes does a good job at being a lubricant for it.

your own tongue savours the strange shape and texture of sukuna’s one - lapping up at his lips desperately, like you would to a lover. he likes your eagerness. his own cocks are beginning to throb and unsheathe from the slit on his lower half, unbeknownst to you.

something about you... is quite intriguing. timid and coy as you seem, you’re not hesitating to unmask your true desires; your obsession with his body. even now, you’re sucking on both his tongues with such greed, it’s hard not to be captivated.

when he breaks the kiss, a thick string of saliva still connects the two of you.

“a harlot, you are,” he tells you with a mean grin.

you look at him with teary, vulnerable eyes. the tongue that had been thrusting in and out of your ass slips out, leaving both of your holes twitching for more.

“i suppose you’re all set now,” sukuna tells you. he finally reveals his aching two cocks, twitching with the need for release.

so that’s where they come out from... they don’t look too different from a human’s, besides the ribbed tip-

“you like them? they’ll be sure to grant you a pleasure you’ll never feel from anyone else.”

you begin to brace yourself, your holes clenching around nothing. your chest rises and falls quicker, indicating your excitement.

he lines them up, and pushes them into you, at a steady pace. your body trembles, and sukuna has to keep you in place as you gasp and hold onto him for dear life. he stretches you so mercilessly. you feel him twitching inside you, as he forces his way against your clamping walls.

“haa...so tight. you fit me like a glove, sweetheart,” he pants, the term of endearment slipping out accidentally. perhaps he’s gone without mating for too long. he feels himself getting easily attached.

when he pushes the rest of himself in fully, reaching all the way, both of his cocks fit snugly inside and forms a bulge on your abdomen-- they press up against a certain spot within you and something seems to erupt in your mind. an unexpected orgasm rips through your body without warning.

you let a string of moans as you arch your back, your walls spasming around him as a result of this sudden climax.

if it were his normal self, he would’ve teased you harshly for reaching your high just from putting it in. but his current sensitivity causes him to also fall off the edge.

“f-fuck, if you keep squeezing me like that, i’ll-!”

sukuna grits his teeth, drool running down the side of his lips, as his cocks also begin to release-- giving him an intense orgasm for the first time in years. they pulse strongly inside of you, spilling spurt after spurt of his thick, hot cum, in large amounts.

he shudders against you, being lost in the pleasure, and begins to lift you up and down, using you like a fleshlight even while he’s still orgasming. the feeling of it bubbling up inside you is something obscene, like it should be forbidden to feel this good and drunk with lust, especially at the hands of a devil like this.

you lean forward to kiss him again, wanting to feel his groans against your lips, and needing a taste of his tongue again. he does exactly that for you, as if reading your mind. had you been one of his kind, he would’ve kept you as his permanent mate. he makes out with you for so long that you’re left gasping for air by the end of it.

“tch. i can’t believe i’ve stooped this low, cumming so quickly like a virgin,” he murmurs with half-lidded eyes.

“nngh...sukuna- i’m already so full,” you whine pitifully. you can feel his spend leak out of you, even though he still has your holes plugged up with his two dicks.

“that’s not good. i’ve still got much more to give,” sukuna teases, liking the way his name sounds on your lips.

“you’ll just have to withstand it.”

he begins to move in and out of you again.

lewd, wet slapping sounds echo throughout the cave as he fucks you in earnest, already mindlessly going after his next climax. you shiver in his arms, yelping each time the tip kisses your cervix. the double penetration doesn't help your case - as both of them rub up against each other within you, making your eyes roll back in ecstasy.

"i-i can't... it's all too much," you mumble, the bulge in your abdomen continuing to disappear and reappear with every thrust of his.

"you agreed to let me use you. no going back now," sukuna tells you with a grunt, brows furrowing when you tighten up around him again, threatening to milk him dry. it drives him mad.

"and i'll be sure to use this slutty body to my heart's content."

his previous loads makes for an even better sensation, making you nice and slippery for him. creamy, white rings are already starting to foam up at the base of both his dicks.

"it feels too good- too big- too big-" you babble, fresh tears piling up in your eyes as he continues to pummel into you, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass.

when the tears begin to roll down your cheeks, sukuna darts out his tongue and gets a taste.

"sweet..." he mumbles.

the urge to cum spills over, and he's releasing inside of you again. his seed repaints the walls of your womb and ass as he groans against the shell of your ear, making you dizzy with arousal.

"oh- my god-" you manage to let out, as you feel yourself getting filled up again.

"you're taking me better than anyone else has before...like a good little whore," sukuna compliments breathlessly, continuing to pump you full with his seed. he's never felt better. his head feels all fuzzy and the edges of his vision is a little blurred, as he focuses only on your sweet little face, lost in a state of euphoria. he leans into the crook of your neck, and darts his tongue out to taste your skin, desperately resisting the urge to sink his fangs into you.

as fast as he empties himself, his cocks fill up again even faster.

"sukuna...i feel... like i might burst," you pant, referring to your poor abdomen.

"...is that so?" he tells you, carefully sliding both of this cocks out of you. you feel a little relieved from the fullness, but also a bit empty simultaneously.

you gasp and jerk your hips when his large hand suddenly applies a bit of pressure to your stomach. everything that he'd stuffed inside you comes dripping out in large globs, falling into a little puddle on the ground.

"there we go," sukuna grins maliciously, watching as you tremble in his arms, enjoying this sensation of his cum oozing out of you... like the freak that you are.

"such a waste. i'll just have to stuff you full, over and over..." he whispers against your ear.

"nngh- sukuna... sukuna..." you chant, hips shaking as he re-inserts himself into you - both of his veiny cocks throbbing once again, aroused by witnessing you indulge in your pleasure.

he sighs erotically, as your plush walls welcomes him back inside, allowing him to slip inside so easily from the amount of slick you're producing.

you might actually go insane.

...sukuna uses you like a fleshlight for god knows how long. by the end of it, you're surprisingly still conscious, despite being ruined irreparably. fucking with such a sinful snake should've dragged you to the deepest pits of hell-- yet, being with him felt so heavenly.

"you ended up being more durable than i thought, love. i'm pleasantly surprised," he praises you, embracing your limp body closely.

"...might be worth trying on you..." he seems to speak to himself.

whatever it is that he's talking about, you're in no state to be pondering. you breathe heavily, eyes half-closed, trying to calm yourself after being so overstimulated for a period of time.

"rest easy. i'll keep you warm throughout the night."

his words hit you like magic, and the fatigue seeps into your consciousness, making you fall asleep in his arms.

-

your pillow...feels a little too firm. and- scaley? it's warm, though. and this texture is addictive.

when you open your eyes, you find yourself laying in a tangled pile of sukuna's long tail - your bare body covered with the clothes that you'd taken off before...

"you're awake. did you enjoy groping my tail in your sleep?" sukuna asks, recalling to the moments where you nuzzled against him with a perverted smile on multiple occasions.

flustered, you immediately want to voice your denial but your dry throat prevents you from doing so. you hold onto your own neck, coughing. he looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

eventually, you're able to point at your backpack that's still sitting towards the side of his cave, which he grabs for you. you rummage your bag for your bottle of water that you'd stashed carefully, and you take a big gulp from it.

"sorry. throat was parched," you tell him, your voice still a little hoarse.

"right. forgot how sensitive you humans were," sukuna says nonchalantly.

"but still, you sufficed better than i expected," he adds on, with a smirk. he reaches out and brushes the back of his fingers against your cheek.

the praise makes your heart race, and you recall your memories from yesterday. it feels like a fever dream. this will be a secret you'll tell no one.

and that brings you back to reality. you remember that you need to get back home. there's a mountain of things you need to do! but... somehow, the thought of leaving made you feel a bit melancholic. will you ever see him again?

"you know... i originally intended to eat you after using you for sex."

the sudden phrase makes your blood run cold.

"...but i changed my mind. that would be such a waste of potential."

potential? potential for what?

"...look into my eyes, sweetheart."

"sukuna, i... i need to return home," you bring up carefully.

his tail tenses up, making you feel even more nervous. it coils around you tighter, and lifts you up to him. he gently grabs your face, lifting your chin up.

you can't help but do as he says - like taking his orders had been ingrained into your muscle memory - and once your pupils meet his, escape becomes infinitely more impossible.

"you don't wish to leave. you want to stay here," sukuna coaxes you, eyes gleaming red. your mind becomes... clouded. his voice rings in your head. it hurts a little, but you can't look away.

"but...home..." you protest for the final time, eyes turning blank. the words leave your lips like the last spark of a dying light.

"this is your home, my love. i am your home."

he takes you in his arms and nuzzles against your neck. a tongue darts out and licks a stripe against your skin, making you shiver. your arms snake around him, like you can't get enough.

"tell me again, sweetheart. where is your home?" he whispers darkly against your ear.

"...my home...my home is..." you drone on, still having some urge to fight back against his manipulation. he embraces you tighter, and possessively lets his teeth nibble on your earlobe.

"my home is you..."

the phrase gives way for a gleeful smirk to form on his face.

"wonderful. i'm glad you feel the same way," sukuna emphasises, withdrawing his face from your neck.

"now, let your tongue out for me."

you do it without question, and he leans forward to capture it with his mouth, initiating an intimate kiss. tongues roll around against each other, and you feel yourself sink deeper into him. when he pulls away, you're left breathless, a string of saliva still hanging off between. he takes it with him, by giving a soft lick to your lower lip.

"how amusing...this ability of mine isn't even that potent. had your determination to go home been stronger, it wouldn't have worked. makes me feel pleased, knowing that you had a strong desire to stay with me."

"sukuna..." you cling to him lovingly, making his heart give a tug. it makes him want to mess you up. but your fragile human body couldn't possibly handle that. which is why...

"i'm going to grant you a snake's tail. to make you completely mine," he suddenly confesses.

"is that... possible?" you still ask questions, even in a state of hypnosis.

"for me, it is. i didn't bother correcting you when you mistook me as one of those common hybrids, but i'll let you know now. i'm something more akin to a god."

he doesn't elaborate further. the new piece of information shrouds his species with even more mystery. perhaps it should stay that way.

it's a risky process, and you might end up losing your life. but he believes you can endure it.

"i'll be honest. it'll hurt a lot, love. but my venom will soothe you. i'll numb the pain."

within the next few seconds, his fangs sink into the side of your neck.

some additional dot points and what happens after;

so you do survive the ordeal, and you wake up a week later after being essentially modified to become a snake hybrid yourself

memories are hazy, but youre still sound of mind and you eventually get used to this new body with sukuna's help

he did tell you that humans can't carry his seed, but now that you're also a half-snake, you can...

now he has a permanent mate that he can use whenever mating season comes around

he doesnt have to lift you up when he wants to fuck you anymore, it can be done in a missionary way, where both of his dicks can fit into your snake cooch at the same time (its still a bit of a stretch tho, hes so big)

whenever he mates with you, both of yours and his tails coil around each other's, like how real snakes do (itd be cute if a heart would be made with the tips at the very end)

there are still some human aftereffects on your body, like when you get pregnant, you start lactating... he has the privilege to drink it all up himself when they get sore and full, since his young won't be needing any of it anyway

at first, you intensely miss your human life, weeping pitifully in the darkness of the cave,,

he gets you curled up against him, licking your tears away, and then kisses your forehead, promising you that he'll protect and love you forever, since youre his one and only mate...

"convincing" you that there is nothing to miss about being human.

Masterlist