#being mentally ill doesnt make you a good character lol everyone had something wrong with them smh

[sharkface-daydreams]

well, sharkface. if someone has suggested before then maine (or bonus meta)

you are actually the first to ask about sharkface :) <3 ilu

oddly enough no bingo BUT shrakface <3 :) he is everything to me

and honestly on second though maybe he does work better as part of a dynamic bc on his own, hes very cool and scary and the ridiculousness of his dramatics works great against the reds and blues very “wait what? the fuck is that why are you so cringe” reactions to things. but characterly speaking like. this is a guy unhinged by grief. the loss of people that were close. he is unhinged BC he has no people anymore. if he had people i think that would be so good for him 🥺 kimball and wash hold fire and red team adopt sharkface challenge pls

also carolina learn what an apology is challenge jfc

i will not get into the wasted potential thing because i feel like i have screamed about that so much and i dont have the energy rn lol

BUT. thank u for ask me about shark man <3333 makes my weird little heart all glowy inside

maine gets double bingo bc hes special to me. <33333 big guy. likes to fight,  doesnt like heights, doesn’t talk much, likes big weird weapons. a man after my own heart. needed more screen time imo

like he’s not a saint but people characterizing him as some. idk. sadist evil motherfucker always rubs me the wrong way. also maine =/= meta. but maine is part of the meta. u understand.

meta also gets double bingo bc im lov them <3333333333

i want to recoup some energy so i can talk more about meta bc he is my special little guy they are my big silly blorbo blob so this is going in drafts a minute

edit: did i never fucking post this?! i thought i had..... anyway. ill post this and then go look for it bc ill forget it in the drafts again

OK IM BACK

meta!!!!! honestly. to me. meta is a journey. a transformation. never fully solidified, always in flux. by the time they are actually the meta it is no longer sigma here and maine there in the same helmet. putting more and more fragments in the same organic mind must have been mental hell in a few ways for someone unused to this. the chaos. the fragments were from the same ai but they were still their own selves. u get it.

theres no way to know what went on in there the whole time and i dont trust rt to write that but he’s still. very special to me. especially post-emp. they are gone. his(their) head is empty again. quiet. 

personal headspace stuff warning for those who’d rather scroll by:

especially early on in 2020+. i got locked in my head a lot. my little subsection of our headspace is an oubliette/panic room bunker cylinder. i’ve since been able to add windows and i know i CAN technically get out now. but for a long time it was just me, and an impenetrable wall of fog with no way out, and only a window way up in the ceiling i couldn’t reach. no one could reach me, i couldn’t reach out either. it was extremely lonely, very grey, and it just made me miss everyone i was able to talk to before. this is probably why i feel so attached to him, because i know what suddenly being shut off from all your system members feels like (idc that it was artificial bc the fragments were intentionally inserted, they were a system.)

feels like someone stripped you down to your OS when that happens honestly and you have to keep moving in a world that expects something of you yet. what do you do when you are back to being just one person alone in your head? how do you figure yourself out? other characters have said the meta was seeking more power... but that’s not right, i don’t think. when sigma& were in there, in the meta soup crockpot. they wanted to be human. be whole. reaching that metastability. and after they were gone. do u really think he would not have jumped at any chance to get one of them back? yeah AI are powerful. but so is loneliness. 

i think maybe. if he would have lived. he would have had little introjects like epsilon made. maybe a neosigma. maybe there was a partition he started putting up when everyone else got too loud and split off a separate maine that was buried when things kicked into high gear. i dont know. there’ll never be any of this in canon so it’s only my speculation but. i like them, i like to think about them.

there show distinctly separates this transformation into several parts but only because that’s all they show us. they show us pfl maine with no ai. they show us pfl maine + sigma. they show us the boogeyman the meta is made into through the lens of hte other characters. they show us a meta a bit more clear-headed but still in possession of personality, sapient thought. but my brain wants to know (always) what happens in between. because it was never a light switch moment that caused these things, it was things stacking up over time, like anything else. i want to know how wanting to help sigma achieve metastability turned into acquiring the other fragments at almost any cost. it’s canon that the freelancers’ and ais’ personalities started to bleed into each other. how much of that happened more and more with each fragment they added?

hm. much 2 think about. i do have a meta lives au which addresses some of this. but i think i have spilled all my brainbeans and now i am tired again lol <3 but. ty for asking and sorry this sat in my drafts for months x.x ilu

[angelhummel]

could you rank the degrassi next class characters?

gladly!! also sorry in advance if you love any of the characters im about to shit on lol

20. Frankie Hollingsworth. Almost had her second to last but. No. Klu Klux Fran?? The ZOO?? I can't even talk about her she's just so damn annoying and racist and omg. And she was being pushed as the new Main Girl which made everything all the more offensive and unbearable

19. Esme Song. Sorry but I do not think she had a single redeeming trait. She had nothing she stood for, no actual character beyond being an antagonist to every single other person on the show. Like she thinks Shay is stupid for being embarrassed about getting her period on her boyfriend's pants, and yet she calls Yael disgusting for having armpit hair?? So what's the truth? And people are like "well she's mentally ill" to excuse all she does. Well Maya is mentally ill and Esme makes fun of her too. So who's side are we on? Like I would've liked to see her get help and develop but we didn't get that so.

18. Hunter Hollingsworth. Terrorist. Not even interesting enough to be an actual school shooter. Just a waste of a character. Sexist, violent, had a plot about wanting to play video games at school. I'm so bored. Only not at the bottom bc I feel like he wasn't in my face as much

17 & 16. Baaz Nahir & Vijay Maraj. Thing 1 and Thing 2 to the would be school shooter. Clowns. They were a terrible group and I cringed any time they had a plot together. Annoying together, useless on their own. Hard pass

15. Yael Baron. The final member of the above group. Was mostly boring and annoying and especially dumb for being romantically interested in Hunter. Only gets bonus points for their coming out as nonbinary plot. After their makeover I was literally crying

14. Jonah Haak. Mostly disliked him for being in a relationship with Frankie. Like I'm sure they were only a year or two apart but he felt so much older than her. It was gross. And mostly he's just really blah. The attempt at a straight edge character at that point was. Hilarious. at least.

13. Winston Chu. Seemed harmless at first but idk all the boys were shifted high into clown mode when this show hit netflix. The incident with the geisha and Japanese soldier costumes? Defending Zoe against Esme? Then later telling Goldi maybe she should take her hijab off to cause less of a fuss? Bruh.

12. Saad Al'Maliki. Honestly I felt like he was the one with the most braincells most of the time. Probably pissed me off the least. But he was also in the least amount of episodes and didn't make much of an impression on me. Was mostly just boring. But I'll take boring over everything that came before

11. Lola Pacini. Degrassi has a knack for introducing the worst and most obnoxious characters and then eventually making you love them. Lola was not quite that. I hated her for the longest time but it decreased a bit near the end. I got emotional when she had her abortion. And when she gave Yael their makeover. And when she reached out to Saad and convinced him not to leave. I feel like I could've grown to like her more if the show went on, but again... Oh also I hate her and Miles together sorry

10. Grace Cardinal. Ugh Grace is confusing to me. I wasn't the biggest fan of her story with Zoe. I mean sure you're allowed to hook up with someone and then realize "oh that's not for me" but it was handled so awkwardly. Like she slept with Zoe just to be like "damn i hate when everyone thinks i'm a lesbian :/" like why. Idk she was fine but I'm not over the moon about her

9. Goldi Nahir. Ugh okay I feel like they didn't know what to do with her. Like she had the plotline about if she should take off her hijab or not. And she had to teach the poor whities about racism. That was about it? She was adorable and sweet and a bright spot in the show but ugh she deserved better than what she was surrounded with lol

8. Shay Powers. Again, it's not her fault she's stuck in a show written by 70 year old white people. But the black girl is completely oblivious to the racism of her friend? She has to ask her dad if a racist thing is really racist? She's never experienced racism? Ok Degrassi. They treat all their black girls like shit and I feel like I just stan them out of spite bc of that lol. But she's cool and a nice person and she's into sports so she's at least doing stuff

7. Rasha Zuabi. Another generally nice and cool character that I have positive feelings for. Also she was gay so yay. Loved her story with Zoe. I think there was just one moment where I was like "wtf are you doing" but compared to everyone else it's not a big deal

6. Zig Novak. I have to admit that all my enjoyment of his character comes from before Next Class. He was such a sweetie and then he left and came back acting dumb as hell. That was not my boy in Next Class. But ahhh he's still my boy sorry I love him <3

5. Deon "Tiny" Bell. Basically the same as Zig above. But I feel like he maybe had a few less moments of being an asshole? Also his promposal for Shay was cute <3 Wait didn't he also date Lola? Wasn't a fan of that either.

4. Zoe Rivas. She was the one dressed up as a geisha lol (: Oh boy Next Class was something else. Umm it was nice to see her process of accepting herself as a lesbian. I feel like it took forever tho. Which is understandable irl but this is a tv show lol. I didn't enjoy her sucking Zig off in the woods. Not fun. But her relationship with Rasha was one of my fave things about NC

3. Tristan Milligan. The amount of hate Tristan gets is faaaar too much. He's one of my favorites of the whole show honestly. I think he's funny and dramatic and a great addition to the show. But he gets knocked down bc I can't remember anything he did in Next Class other than BEING IN A FUCKING COMA FOR A WHOLE SEASON. He's already Owen's brother, he's suffered enough. But I love his relationship with Miles. And him helping Zoe accept herself

2. Miles Hollingsworth. Yes another character I wasn't fond of at first. Hated his relationship with Zoe and thought he was just boring. Truthfully I think I only became interested when he started dating Tristan lol. Plus omg with his family?? It's a miracle he got out at all. He went through so much bullshit and he was especially going through it in Next Class. He was kind of a hot mess but also I just care a lot about him. He deserves the world <3

1. Maya Matlin. Is Maya really my fave?? I guess so! Yet another character I wasn't fond of at first. Which is insane bc we just got to the part in our rewatch where she first shows up and I'm like !!! baby girl!! So precious!!! And I wanted to cry thinking of what she's about to go through. I feel like her character is treated with some of the most respect and care. Her motivations and mental health decline all make sense storywise. I just care a lot about her and got super emotional watching everything in her story, especially the later parts in NC

Wow this is a lot!! But I hope you enjoyed my ranking and explanations lol. Also like. Everyone was racist. Everyone was mentally ill. That was the whole show. It was a hot mess and truth be told I am not a fan. Even the characters I love, they were acting weird here. Like I said about Zig and Tiny and their character regression. And I think it was the same for like Tristan and Zoe and plenty of others too. Everyone was off, idk how to explain it. But that's my ranking for the hot mess that was Next Class!!

Thank you for the ask, ily <3

[jackassbroadcast]

Hello im a Tommy enthusiast who watched that one stream where he monologued to foolish for like hafe an hour bc i heard it was a cool stream or wtv to realize how much amazing character moments it had that barly anyone in this damn fandom is talking about so ill fucking do it

(Only after finishing this i realized i wrote 1.7k words LOL OOPS)

If u dont know what in talking about its this stream (apologies for linking a clips channel the actual vod on foolish's channel is deleted by now)

Also heads up /rp /dsmp every time i refer to someone here by name is their character unless stated otherwise bc writing c! Before every name Is tiring LOL

Also // suicidal idealization , death mentions

The conversation starts off with foolish and tommy mining for Wilbur, and foolish questions how simply mining will solve the problem to which Tommy reponds with "they dont get solved, do they? It just ends uo with some madman screaming 'Hes solved it!' And now look at him." And how he wants to "prevent the problem before it goes outta hand" something that clearly references Wilbur and his destruction of lmanburg, which paired with him collecting stone for Wilbur as the way to stop said problems he believes if he does anything he can for Wilbur and support him by his side enough this time around, that he wont do anything like thay again, which as im writing this makes be realize by doing that we learn hes blaming himself for what happened to Wilbur in November 16th and pogtopia and a whole, by not being enough for Wilbur in his mind.

The conversation continues, foolish off hand asks why would tommy want to stop Wilbur? Weren't they friends at some point? To which tommy leads foolish to lmanburg and tells him the story of the nation (how it was him and Wilbur's nation, how they made it to espace dream's iron fist and how they held an election "which puts your life on the line, which is good- if you're confident but- perhaps we were too confident", how they lost)

Tommy: "You know the phrase: 'treat other how you wanna be treated', foolish? People dont ever listen to it. Wilbur- he decided he wanted to be treated poorly so he treated everyone around him poorly "

This Tommy quote, to me at least, so so amazingly strong in conveying how understanding he is? To the world around him. Like-

I have not seen one person bring this quote up, and yet its (at least to me) shows such growth and understanding in Tommy i saw little to nothing like it in other streams. It shows he understands, he knew Wilbur didnt change just because, he knows he was struggling, that he thought everyone around him were againt him, were going to abandon him the first chance theyll get- and he thought he deserved it. So he, as a last way to defend himself against that, hurt them first, abandoned them first, so theyll see how much of a 'bad' person he was and take him out- and tommy saw right through that, possibly understanding it more after exile.

This next qoute was talked about much more but i still wanna bring it up

Foolish: "Do you believe in second chances?"

Tommy: "Oh, no I don't really believe that its not really a thing for me foolish its just that-" *sigh* "- i believe everyone has a little bit of good in then and this is not about giving him a second chance or a third chance- its not about *chances* foolish. Its about not giving up on the poeple you care about. "

Which. I mean. I dont know how healthy that mindset is, but comign from Tommy it makes so much sense.

Techno, tubbo, eret, sapnap. These are all people Tommy used to be extremely close to, had either a war or had been betrayed by them, and yet still found it in his heart that he still cares for them, with all of these, they did horrendous things, that hurt tommy physically and mentally, while also not being once or twice, but a contentious thing, but while tommy is to this day still effected by their actions he still found it in himself to forgive, because he knows he fucked up too, a lot, and he knoes they learned from their mistakes just as he had (except c!techno FUCKKK c!techno mf doesnt learn SHITTT) and he knows, when the time comes he knows hed want the people he hurt to forgive him too. (And he wants Wilbur to do the same)

Next qoute i will cut to a couple parts because its really so good and full of character i had to bro

Foolish: "Do you consider yourself to be the good guy or the bad guy?"

Tommy: "It really depends who you ask, isn't it? Yknow? If you asked dream he'd say im *his little toy that he plays with* you know? It doesnt.."

This part really stunned me when i first heard it because, and correct me If im wrong, but i dont think tommy ever acknowledged how dream sees him, and  how right he has his viewpoint too. Just the fact tommy is so *painfully* aware of how dream doesnt even see him as a person anymore but just a toy to mess around with for a while than just throw it away when it get too boring really hurt me. Someone give this kid a hug

(Continued) Tommy: "...foolish, honestly? I used to consider myself 'the good guy', you know? The fuckin'- second in command! But these past- these past like six months or so, foolish, everything got so much harder than it was before. Because before it was just us vs bad guys, it was all so clear! But- its not been 'clear' for so long, right? It wasn't; 'these are the bad guys! These are the good guys!' Now it's : 'he's doing this and it makes him a bit worse-' i mean, it all got so complicated, so- i don't know. Depends who you ask."

He says this, in response to foolish asking if hes a good guy- but its awfully similar to if Wilbur asked him if they were the bad guys. Because foolish just asked about him, and yet in his answer tommy made sure to keep using the words "us, he's, guys" as if hes not really talking about himself, as if hes explaining how Wilbur was wrong. Which he was. Also something interesting ive noticed, he says "the last 6 months or so", which indicated that with Wilbur he knew better to follow his word and leadership- with Wilbur he was always on the right side but when he lost him he felt much more lost alone, and couldn't trust himself enough to be on the "right side" .

Foolish: "I dont know, it all seems strange because just from, you know- hearing from others and, you know, learing a little bit, its seems like you've been the hero, you've been the villain, the conqueror, the savior, and, even now, i have no idea what you exactly are."

Tommy: "that's up to you to decide, isn't it? Im just- *uh*  i dont know. These days, foolish, I'm a little weaker than i used to be"

Foolish couldn't be more right with what he said, another example of this we see where a character acknowledges tommy never sticks to one thing us Charlie when calling him "tommy fron nowhere" which shows more how he cant stick to one thing, during the course of him on the server he had been friends and enemy with nearly everyone, been on pretty much all sides, and while never really intentionally, being in the center of conflict. When foolish says he doesnt know who tommy is anymroe at this point and all Tommy says in return is that "hes a little weaker than he used to be" does to show he misses who he used to be, with lmanburg, with Wilbur, when he knew who he was, now he doesn't know who he is anymore, but still so desperately want to be more demonstrated by the lines coming rigth after that one:

(Continued) Tommy: "..I'm not- I'm now who i want to be, but-"

Foolish: "Being honest with you, Tommy, that's the same case for me as well."

Tommy: "...heres the thing, foolish, unlike you i dont really have a choice. I have to try and be who i want to be, because if i dont, very bad things are gonna happen in this server. And now that Wilbur's back i can't- quite frankly *no one* can risk that. So i dont really have a choice."

Tommy want's to change- he wants to be better than he is now, to be closer to who he used to be, no matter how impossible that might be, but he also sees it as an immediate thing, he wants to change now, or asap, which is why hes collecting stone for Wilbur in the first place- old him would've done that with ease just because Wilbur asked and he wants to have that back so badly, asap. The way he talked about this reminded me of when he tried getting over his trauma stream before he went in the prison to kill dream: he knew he wasnt the best but he tried getting over that asap to go kill dream asap. He didnt wanna take the long road of years of healing and instead thought he could get over it just like that, and that experience clearly didnt teach him anything because now hes trying to slide back to the relationship he and Wilbur used to have and ignoring the drastic changes they both had plus the bad moments that were the reason they feel out in the first place, or maybe he knows, but at this point, after everything that happened to him and the server, he doesnt care anymore? He knows hes not the same he was and he'll never be the same, because thats not how it works, but his mentor, president, big brother is back after so long tommy felt so lost and alone he thinks maybe, this time around, with Wilbur, he could try and be better again.

[darlington-v]

I know different interpretations of a work are generally enriching and cool... but c!dream villan interpretations is like how to tell me you only watch Tommy without saying you only watch tommy.... which would be fine but its not a great place to be making statements about the whole nature of the dsmp lol

Wild speculation, but sometimes I wonder if like, because the dsmp didn't really start as a narrative, and a lot of fans don't nessecarily enter it expecting a narrative, but then there is one and the fandom is really discourse heavy and everyone is sort of excpeted to have an opinion while maybe not expecting to form one from the begining or not having a ton of experience with narrative in a way that would "expect" them to have an opinion or not take things at face value??, I don't know if I explained that well at all... and I don't really even think thats right nessecarily... but like wow sometimes some of the takes about power and government and villany...

Honestly, it makes sense!!!

I think something interesting is like.... looking at how animatics have shaped the like tone and culture of the fandom essentially. Like, an interesting fact that I didn't really fully grasp until SUPER recently is like...

c!Wilbur out the gate admits he is manipulating c!Tommy. Like his first youtube video on the Dream SMP he admits his goal is to manipulate c!Tommy and people like c!Tommy into helping him achieve a potion ("drug") empire to monopolize on potions because there were a lot of people on the server who like to min-max, which is to put all of your effort into this one specific skill essentially. so like... i know minecraft doesnt have a skill tree but if it did, it would be putting all your points into that one specific branch of a skill tree. So he wanted to exploit the labor of all the TommyInnits to.... maintain a Potion Empire.

THIS IS A LONG POST BC I GOT CARRIED AWAY SO BUCKLE UP

And I don't think a lot of the fandom who joined later on knows this. I certainly didn't until like a week or so ago? Like... I knew c!Wilbur had been manipulative from the start because I'm a mod of (shameless self promo incoming) @dsmpanalysis and we have a lot of different POVs in that mod team and discord and we talk about it really frequently. I joined the fandom as someone who was really big on L'manburg ESPECIALLY crimeboys, and have turned into.... *gestures vaguely to my blog*

And ngl I owe a lot of it to @1-michibiki-1 in terms of c!Dream "Apologism" but all of the mods there have expanded my thoughts and views on the storylines of this narrative.

My application consisted of like largely essays about like... how I think Dream was the villain but he was meant to be the villain because you don't get any insight into his character WHICH.... IS A FAIR ASSUMPTION AT FIRST GLANCE. People are easily villainized when you cannot get a glimpse into their thought process. It's easy to dwindle someone down into this flat character and starting out I knew Dream didn't stream the SMP on purpose.

And I personally came to the conclusion of "Oh! So Dream is supposed to be the villain." However as the story continued and I learned more about what Dream went through I began to realize that... it's more than likely a form of a red herring. My opinions on this were immediately solidified when I watched Ranboo's 2 MIL stream because both Ranboo AND Dream agree on enjoying red herrings.

There have been MANY times were Dream has said that c!Dream is a complex character and he's not a wholly evil guy and there have been times where the narrative has honestly just proved that.

Anyways, what's important though was that... I learned most of this from other people who were more focused on c!Dream rather than myself. Eventually I shifted from c!Tommy to c!Ranboo and c!Techno after c!Tommy betrayed c!Techno and I began to realize.... everything I learned before hopping in wasn't exactly what it seemed.

Part of this is because I'm older, I heavily identify with c!Techno's sense of loyalty and philosophies on government, but I especially identify with the anguish c!Techno voiced in... a lot of lore but especially the lore around Doomsday.

I'm not 16 anymore. I don't always feel wronged by adults, or older people in my case, whenever they absolutely have done something wrong by me, but I do feel wronged by my close friends. I also felt like c!Tommy's sense of loyalty didn't line up with mine after what felt like him constantly flip-flopping and refusing to understand c!Techno's morals on government didn't line up with his.

In short, it was easier to identify with Tommy in these animatics versus in the actual stream content because c!Tommy is played by a 16 year old. I'm not a teenager and my line of thinking doesn't entirely line up with people that age anymore. It's harder to place myself in the same shoes of someone's OC who is played closer to their actual age, because I'm not that age.

Regardless, I was still on the c!Dream is a villain train. I wasn't ever like... c!Dream is repulsive I hate him, but I was like omg hot villain lad go brrr.

Even when the first like... mellohi, panic room, Ranboo lore stream popped up I thought "Oh! c!Ranboo corruption arc?"

And I was excited because I really wanted this shy, nervous character to turn into villain buddies with his good pal c!Dream. I'm a total sucker for villains and corruption arcs and all that good shit.

SO I STARTED GETTING REALLY INTERESTED IN ENDERSMILE. I'VE BEEN ON ENDERSMILE SQUAD OUT THE GATE. NOT THE SAME WAY I AM NOW, BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THEM TO TEAM UP.

So... upon not really keeping up with c!Dream and being relatively??? indifferent? I don't think I started arguments on c!Dream back then, but I might have. But I remember like... starting to participate more whenever c!Dream came up and looking more into Dream's character BUT ESPECIALLY TALKING WITH OUR SERVER'S C!DREAM SPECIALIST MICHI ABOUT DREAM A LOT MORE.

And because Michi has been a watcher since day one and was a DTeam fan rather than a SBI fan, she was able to provide me with more information on how the server worked pre-Tommy but especially pre-Wilbur.

Now, you could definitely argue well Michi probably has clear bias but it made sense to me when I looked back on how the storyline had been constructed and was going along, and everyone in the server talks a lot about our own biases and how we want people to maybe not lean so hard on them. Michi would also provide like anecdotes on what had happened and I'm sure links were probably provided at one point but the point was I felt like Michi had no reason to lie or manipulate how the story was told and if she did, eventually someone would have pointed it out because... Group of like... right now it's around 20 or more analysts but I don't remember how many at the time there were. POINT BEING, WE'VE ALL GOT POINTS TO PROVE AND IN MY EXPERIENCE NOT MANY OF US HAVE BEEN SHY TO PROVE THEM.

So if anyone ever had any differing opinions they would be talked about and we literally had and still have discussions.

REGARDLESS.... I DIDN'T FACT CHECK IN DEPTH BECAUSE I THOUGHT PEER REVIEW WAS ENOUGH WHEN YOU HAVE LIKE HOURS UPON HOURS OF STREAMS TO WATCH.

Anyways. Eventually I started paying closer attention and looking more into c!Dream lore but only recently have I started to triple check before speaking about c!Wilbur lore because I know everyone has biases and while I did trust everyone's thoughts and analysis in the discord, whenever I make essays I typically like it to be largely air tight and if theres a mistake, I want it to be because I forgot not because I just trusted what was said. Plus, I wanted to get down to the specifics of how Wilbur had always started with manipulation on the mind.

SO I WATCHED HIS FIRST VIDEO ON THE DREAM SMP.

AND WHAT I WAS NOT BY ANY MEANS EXPECTING WAS WILBUR TO SAY WORD FOR WORD, VERBATIM,

"SO WHY DON'T I START AN INDUSTRY WHERE I USE THE TOMMYINNITS OF THE WORLD TO WORK FOR ME, TO CREATE THINGS THAT THE MIN-MAXERS OF THE WORLD WILL WANT."

Like... this is in no way an attempt to like hardcore villainize c!Wilbur like everyone does Dream, it's just more so to like REALLY outline how far off a lot of fandom interpretation of c!Wilbur is....

Because of SBI focused animatics.

Now, when I joined I watched A LOT of animatics that really highlighted like... Wilbur being this self-loathing JD-esque, "I destroyed it because I had to because the world was against me because no one loved us, Tommy" type of character. At least... that's what it came across as.

And it definitely highlighted the fact that Tommy was a victim, which he is. He is undoubtedly a victim and no not even any dream apologist can change my mind otherwise. Tommy, despite being an instigator sometimes, didn't deserve the abuse he received.

But these animatics never shown the fact that c!Wilbur started L'manburg as a shady ploy to exploit people like c!Tommy and vilify c!Dream so he could have power.

And that was easy because Dream and Tommy had wars before. They had spars and pranks and here's the plan to take back my disks and here's the plan to out smart the thieving little child etc etc.

And all of the animatics I watched never mentioned this. Neither did the recaps though. The recaps gave the events flat out, there didn't sound like there was bias, and honestly I don't really know if there was rather than like... a lack of nuance. And it's hard to provide a recap with that much nuance in a short period of time for a youtube video, to be perfectly fair.

However, this creates a perfect formula for entirely rewriting the history of a server. c!Wilbur quite literally fucking succeeded TO A META LEVEL. He slandered and ran smear campaigns against Dream and like he even does that with Sapnap in the beginning. But what's crazy is that it transferred over into the meta! Most of this fandom understands Wilbur as a victim of mental illness, and yeah maybe? He definitely wasn't mentally well by the end of pogtopia, but he never started out with honorable intentions. L'manburg was never a victim, only its citizens. The TommyInnits of the world.

I just think it's like... such an interesting case study. Because this is like... an opinion like shared by at least half of the fandom, but the vilifying of c!Dream is shared by MOST of the fandom I would argue. Which is like even more crazy for me because that was c!Wilbur's goal!!!

LIKE I GO INSANE WHEN I THINK OF THIS BECAUSE HIS REACH IS JUST TOO POWERFUL. HE'S NOT EVEN ENTIRELY REAL, JUST A MANIPULATIVE PERSONA OF SOME BRITISH GUY.

And I mean... maybe people who have watched Wilbur's video on the SMP still maintain this idea that Wilbur wasn't always the bad guy, but honestly... I wouldn't be surprised if their introduction was still an animatic. Like bias is hard to check and I'm not going to lie I could have sworn I watched both Wilbur's AND Tommy's video on the SMP in the beginning and yet I STILL was a ride or die for tragic yet on some level still honorable Wilbur and a resilient Tommy.

Like... upon watching Wilbur's first video... possibly again I was surprised because I thought I did watch it like right before I even started watching the streams and yet I was still so invested in c!Wilbur as this tortured anti-hero.

It took 6 months of... not being in an echo chamber, full of multiple different people of different ages, different stream POVS, and people who joined the fandom at different points in time.

IDK IF THIS WAS EVEN ENTIRELY RELEVANT IT JUST FELT TANGENTIALLY RELEVANT AND THIS WAS SOMETHING I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR A HOT MINUTE AFTER LIKE WATCHING WILBUR'S FIRST VIDEO AGAIN.

TLDR;

SBI CENTRIC ANIMATICS HAD A LASTING AFFECT ON THIS FANDOM AS IT'S HARD TO GO BACK AND ACTUALLY CHECK THE NARRATIVE FOR SOLID FACTS FOR YOUR OWN INTERPRETATION BASED ON THE FACT THAT THIS NARRATIVE SPANS OVER HUNDREDS OF HOURS WORTH OF TWITCH STREAMS.

[dyketubbo]

Wilbur is a Prince of Heart fucking bite me

*clears throat* now that i have your attention please watch as i become mentally ill and explain why wilbur soot is a dirk strider kinnie. all /rp of course. analysis under the cut because i talk. so much.

basic summary: wilbur is destructive about emotions, he destroys others emotionally and most notably destroys himself for being emotional, he wants to be in control and spirals when he loses it but ultimately falls down mentally from broken trust and a misguided want to care for and about others. he lashes out at perceived flaws and puts people into titles, such as putting himself as a villain, and perceives himself as a negative force overall but is unable to stop caring and as such can often turn to using how much he cares into a destructive force. he needs to learn how to healthily let go of control and how to trust others. he used to care healthily and needs to relearn how to do so, but the fact that he is growing into becoming a healthy heart player when he fell due to untreated destructive tendencies is a signifier of being a prince

oh classpects my beloved <3 as a heart player (thief of heart :]) wilbur is absolutely a heart player and anyone who says otherwise is Wrong. anyways what people not super into the classpecting buiz dont know is that while aspects can have certain aesthetics tied to them, they arent defined by those aesthetics, and sometimes themes present in characters is uh, just them being characters and doesnt have anything to do with classpects. thats why every canon heart player in homestuck has something to do with romance (especially failed romance), but being a heart player does not mean youre inherently tied to romance, not really. also characters are often influenced by others and that can mess with things, but classpects are an ultimatum, you have to look at the whole arc of a character to classpect them, and thats hard in a story thats not done yet like the dream smp

but anyways. aspect is more about worldview, its how you see things, and it can either be something youre born into or something you grow into (which is determined by your class- for example, tommy is a knight because hes always had a connection to blood [which is also why i like knight more than thief, because as a thief, thief classes take their aspect and did not always have them, but tommys always been connected to blood, to relationships, in a literal sense he protects {knight} his relationships {blood} and sticks by them {also knight}]) which i think is why it can be so hard for people to agree on one aspect- you have to consider whether or not that character always embodied it or if they grew into it. in a world of unreliable narrators, worldviews have to be actively read into and you have to often push what a character says aside because they may be straight up lying. and because theyre lying, that can affect how they come off and their actions and words may seem disconnected when they arent

wilburs hard to get a handle on his class because of how often he contradicts the fuck out of himself, his aspect is easier to figure out because we've known him long enough to see how he fits into the heart mold- he cares about others, definitely! but he does have a vaguely inherent selfishness about him (calling l'manburg *his*, destroying it because he cant have it, because he's paranoid and doesn't think theres a chance of it ever being what it was meant to be, even when hes given the chance to have it again he destroys it instead because he doesnt want to try and fix it, claiming he doesnt care even though he destroyed it because he cared too much). unhealthy heart players can be cunning but impulsive, perceptive but emotional and falling into gut instincts. exploring their own identities and others identities as well, placing importance in titles and roles and all that jazz, and what parts of this are played into or not is determined by class

wilbur is a prince because princes have a significant projection of self importance. but because princes either destroy their aspect or through their aspect, and are active destroyers, they can often destroy things (or people) if they believe its not working correctly, or if theyre losing control. unhealthy princes can often lash out and destroy others and themselves for perceived weaknesses, and will often focus on themselves. unhealthy princes often start thinking theyre the root of why theres so many shitty things going on. princes in general also try really hard to compensate for insecurities and do by justifying what happens to them with narratives that they deem to be correct. they arent actively malicious, but if they see a perceived flaw it can often piss them off and cause them to lash out

wilbur loses control (and i must note here, he also loses trust, and accepting that you can trust others and that its okay to not be in control is a sign of a healthy prince) and spirals because of betrayal and paranoia, and that only makes him want more control over what happens so that he cant be betrayed again. he tries to destroy his own emotions, becomes distant and untrusting, tries to destroy others emotions by stating his own current worldviews and stating that they cant trust others and that hes going to destroy what and who they care about. however, because wilbur is still emotional and still cares, as a apart of his character, he still often backs out of destruction (or offers himself up to be destroyed instead, "if youre going to kill anyone kill me"), its in his most conscious moments that he shows that hes not as malicious as he wants people to see him as. he sees himself as a villain and as the cause of all bad things, and encourages pursuits of power because he sees control and power as good things

tommys quote of "he treated other people badly because he wanted to be treated badly" (paraphrased of course) works well here for why wilbur is a prince. he destroyed because he wanted to be destroyed, destroyed lmanburg and hurt others and drove them to hurt others (the pit) because he saw himself as a destructive force needed to be taken down. he wanted to be in control of his life, his safety, others safety, of his possessions and of the narrative, and it all swirled into him wanting to be in control of his own death. bards are too passive, they invite destruction rather than cause it, wilbur can be mistaken as a bard because of how he often acts with tommy, but that can also be seen as a princely thing of trying to be in control of who he cares about

also the lying about what he cares about feels very prince of heart lol. bitch saying he doesn't care about l'manburg then staring wistfully at the van.. yeah. he cares. but it serves his goal more to pretend he doesn't. l'manburg itself was a decision driven by emotion, it's an emotional priority, and that's why wilbur cares about it (heart move), but wants to destroy it because he feels like the original emotions he put behind it are gone and corrupted and that he and others no longer deserve it (prince move). as such, he clashes with tommy, who cares about it because he got a family from it (blood move) and wants to protect it and keep everyone involved safe (knight move)

you could argue that wilbur fits classes like witch because of how he manipulates emotions and others but i think that lays way into how revivedbur is currently acting and not how wilbur is as a whole. he's too driven by impulses to be a witch, and i think a witch wilbur would be way more actively villainous than a prince wilbur, however surprising that may sound. princes are destructive sure, but ultimately their downfall comes from whether they trust others or not, and wilbur only trusting tommy (and maybe phil? im waiting to see more interactions between them to see if wilbur is going to really be open to phil or not) isn't enough to save wilbur from his spiral. he needs to learn how to healthily release control and how to trust others, how to step back and snap out of thinking he knows best. also i feel that it's a bit easier to see when princes are full of shit than it is to see when a witch is full of shit lmao, at least from a personal perspective, of course when you're a viewer of the story it's easier to see manipulation than it is when you're apart of the story

[citialiin]

FIVE SONGS

list five songs associated with your muse and its meaning to them as a character, or to you as the writer. this can be applied in-character or out-of-character. it can go as deep as looking at the song’s real-world origins or meaning along with the themes it carries to the muses’ story, values, or experiences, or as simple as if your muse would listen to this kind of music, or even if you just listen to these pieces for inspiration.

TAGGED BY: @dansiere​​, who did such a good detailed job they even included an “honorable mentions list” ? i am embarrassed to type mine out now TAGGING: @blossomingbeelzebug​​ @zhrets​​ @dirtyfilthysunshine​​ @prcphesise​​ @hyakiru​ @foxcharmed​

01. kaun komsott - ros sereysothea

this song actually lyrically has absolutely nothing to do with ziggy !!!!  kaun komsott /  កូនកំសត់ actually just means “poor/pitiful child” it’s just a khmer dub of a song from a taiwanese movie lol but i feel like this is the kind of music he would listen to that made him fall in love with, like ... humanity, as dumb as that sounds. it’s time period appropriate (late 60s/early to mid 70s), the song is really good and it’s SO emotional.  i could see him sitting in the apartment of his bandmates after being “found” and they teach him how to use the record player and he sits there going through each and every record they have and listening to this and its like the fucking scene in ratatootie where the goddamn rat can visualize tastes as colors but he would be so enamored with the song he would see it in colors or something i dunno.  something has definitely fucking happened to my brain because ever since nat and alex and i rewatched ratatootie we keep referencing it for our characters. anyways i ended up using an instrumental of kaun komsott in the final film i made as the song that plays during the end.  so this song just also means a lot to me because it’s part of how i made this character and the film/story i animated to go along with him, i am sure you are all absolutely sick of hearing me talk about it <3  

02. who can i be now - daveed booweyywywy now you found me, now can I be real?  can I be real? if it’s all a vast creation / putting on a face that’s new someone has to see / a role for him and me someone might as well be you

one of z’s most obvious character motifs is figuring out self identity through adopting different guises.  he markets himself as being so overly confident and almost arrogantly certain of himself -- rock god space idol whatever -- as his own way of learning who he thinks he might be underneath it all.  i think at first it started off a little innocuous, a ‘ fake it till u make it ’ thing at the least and maybe more obviously a ‘ im not a human so i have to pretend to be someone else ’ deal, but over time it became almost all consuming and just obliterated all his previously held sense of self in favor of some weirdly demented version of who he wanted to be.  683 starts off with the same core personality traits as ziggy: maybe he’s a little vain, a little selfish, but he’s very interested in creativity/self-expression and he wants to be thought of as a unique individual and appreciated for his differences.  but the difference is that 683 isnt an arrogant asshole who has no regard for other people in the slightest.  so yeah ... who can u be now ... is it worth it to adopt a different guise or should he go through the effort of figuring out what parts of his personality were corroded by human influence and what parts are genuinely him?  my big endgame thoughts for his story would be that he eventually just decides to retire from the public eye and fucks off entirely.  this would be over the course of a long long long time -- maybe he has a good 20 yr run in the industry -- but there are some things about him he has to deal with (mental health issues, drug addiction, also the fact that you’re a freaky alien creature who doesnt age like a human so you’re physically like 46 and you still look like you’re 25?) so he inevitably decides he doesnt need the horrible pressure of fame and he ought to just live his life for himself.  i think this would be a nice final song for him to sing/perform -- then he goes into the dressing room and cuts his hair and just vanishes. bye.

03. sunny afternoon - the kinks Help me, help me, help me sail away Well give me two good reasons why I oughta stay 'Cause I love to live so pleasantly Live this life of luxury Lazing on a sunny afternoon

1. i think this would sound A LITTLE like the kind of music he would write/play albeit i feel like his would be more exciting and have more samplings of like laser noises or pewpewpew or weird spaceship sounds BUT.  its also pretty time period appropriate.  even in “modern” verses ziggy is inexplicably obsessed with the 1970s, he likes bell bottoms and thinks groovy patterns are neat and he owns too many lava lamps.  anywayz. 2. just the general idea of feeling unfulfilled with luxury -- even if ziggy enjoys his fame and wealth and the absolutely insane amount of pussy/dick he gets at some level he is still cognizantly aware of how weirdly empty he feels.  he ditched atomina and came here because he felt unfulfilled and bored and unwanted.  now he feels wanted (clearly, everyone loves him) and he feels entertained (earth is So Good at fun distractions) but his fulfillment still isnt quite there.  he’s getting there -- but in exchange of being able to live this life of fame, he’s had to kind of change everything about himself and live this almost caricature version of himself, and he knows he cant keep it up forever.  the luxury will run out one day and he’ll be a washup and no one cares about celebrities once they stop being hip.  it is literally only a matter of time before ziggy has to find out who he is because no one can be a “rockstar” forever.

04. i hate jimmy page - mindless self indulgence SUCKAS CAN REACH OUT TOUCH ME EAT ME BITE DA FUTURE & FUCK DA PAST  I'm lower than most animals and fear what might be weird and all those voices in my head have every right to be there i ain't a girl just cause i rock the boat i ain't a boy just cause i rock your world

i mean he does hate jimmy page but that’s beside the point. its just a good song about being a crazy rockstar and has the same Craziness that i feel like accompanies his character ... just go listen to it you will understand. there is nothing to explain here.  even the lyric “ill show u how official midgets jack me off” like just accept it. it’s whatever  but yeah i aint a girl i aint a boy ... i guess his gender (or lack thereof) never really comes up in rp but its still an important part of his character.  if any of u guys ever call him a man in prose again ill kick ur ass.  gender is like an accessory to him and he just takes whatever aspects of masculinity/femininity he prefers and discards everything else.  to him he’s just as much a “man” or a “woman” as he is a “human” which is to say he isnt, at all, and he just pretends to be because he feels obligated to.  also ziggy’s brain kind of sounds like this...just Noises.  his brain sounds like a microwave that’s been going off for 26 years.  i think his brain is a single uncooked pinto bean rolled in glitter that’s been left in a box with a cobweb

05. ghostride - crumb daydreaming I stay in the backseat / the slow beat rocks me back to sleep keeps me on automatic  press my face up close against the glass i see the people when they pass they move so automatic you wake up when I go down / the radio reminds me I'm alive we've been hearing it all night

i care more about 683 on atomina than i do about ziggy on earth sometimes (BUT I CARE THEM BOTH. DO U?) so ... 683 feeling aimless and drifting but trying to find purpose through passion, a person, some sort of concrete meaning -- going through the motions of life makes him feel empty he spends almost every day going through the same toil while feeling guilty or like a burden and also feeling like he’s ultimately nothing more than a replaceable cog in a machine. his species had a near extinction = bottleneck which made them so genetically similar they’re almost clones of each other.  no one ever seems to do anything wrong except him, he finds no joy or fulfillment in anything at all.  all he ever wanted (which isnt a selfish desire at all) was to feel purpose, or feel wanted, or appreciated. inevitably he leaves because of his own imagination -- he yearns for something More, and he doesn’t know What, so he figured he ought to at least Try instead of waste his life away. also atomina is supposed to sound like “automatic.”  do NOT make fun of my bad scifi.  i am trying to mimic the way 1970s scifi is endearingly cheesy.  come here.  i just want to touch you with this knife.  gently tho it wont go inside of you. bro you are bleeding. bro we are bleeding and i keep putting the knife in your soft parts.

[fckeverything-v]

 1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

 2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

 3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

 4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

 6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

 7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

 8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

 9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

 10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

 11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

 12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

 13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

 14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

 15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

 16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

 17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

 18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

 19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

 20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

 21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

 22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

 23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

 24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

 25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

 26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

 27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

 28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

 29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

 30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

 31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

 32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

 33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

 34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

 35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

 36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

 37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

 38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

 39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

 40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

 41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

 42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

 43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

 44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

 45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

 46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

 47. What are you scared of? Heights.

 48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

 49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

 50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

 51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

 52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

 53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

 54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

 56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

 57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

 58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

 59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

 60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

 61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

 62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

 63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

 64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

 65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

 66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

 67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

 68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

 69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

 70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

 71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

 72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

 73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

 74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

 75. What is your life story in 6 words?

 76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

 77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

 78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

 79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

 80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

 81. Spirit animal?

 82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

 83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

 84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

 85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

 86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

 87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

 88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

 89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

 90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

 91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

 92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

 93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

 94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

 95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

 96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

 97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

 98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

 99. What languages can you speak? English

 100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

 101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

 102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

 103. Favorite food? Soul food

 104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

 105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

 106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

 107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

 108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

 109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

 110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

 111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

 112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

 113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

 114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

 115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

 116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

 117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

 118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

 119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

 120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

 121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

 122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

 123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

 124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

 125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

 126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

 127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

 128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

 129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

 130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

 131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

 132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

 133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

 134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

 135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

 136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

 137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

 138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

 139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

 140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

 143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

 147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

 141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

 142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

 144. Prized possession(s)? little things

 145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

 146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

 148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

 149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

 150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

[magalamantle]

SO THIS IS... a really long post of a bigass ask meme, all the answers, about a fallout oc!!! ummm for warnings. #violence #alcohol #alcoholism #drug abuse ?

IM LIKE INFINITELY SORRY if this is just long, and the whole dash, on like, mobile or anything, i got carried away and had a lot of fun with it um,,,,

OK SO TO START OUT a quick summary of this character: marion tremblay, 26 years old, they/them pronouns, a courier six (but i might write them into a non-six role idk) with Sight Gone Wrong. imagine savestates, but the character only experiences the "canonical" ie last save. so they go from neutral to knowing exactly how to process a situation, but it causes a LOT of stress on them, including an incredibly distinctive negative feeling when a "save" occurs and nightmares depicting all the plays gone wrong. in addition, the successful path isnt always harmless, and often leads to heavy injury - just not death. not to mention the fact that the successful path doesnt always help people theyre trying to help, just them.

http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles5/carpy-hairstyle7.htm

http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles6/hairstyle-carpy12.htm

marion is incredibly stressed and doesnt get it, runs into danger and knows exactly what to do, doesnt know why, doesnt understand how it all adds together, and doesnt understand to maybe take it a little slower. then again, when they try to chill out and live normally the nightmares just get worse and worse. so basically they self medicate to dull the dreams a bit and it just makes everything even more stressful.

theyre a courier/jack of all trades/mercenary type that uses a recharger pistol, and has no self of self preservation. is struggling, indulges often, and is impossibly easy to charm. does things for the fuck of it, anxious, hesitantly affectionate, eventually very protective and supportive, childish and constantly tired lol.

anyway heres the questions!!!

Which Fallout game are they from? new vegas :Y

Which faction(s) did they join and which did they destroy? Why? they end up joining the ncr - they have plans and intentions to go for a free vegas, but realize eventually that the ncr is probably a lot closer to a safe vegas than they were before. kind of insists that the people get a say in things.

DOES have enough time to basically fuss with all the families on the strip and various societies - basically destroys the omertas, takes a long time and a lot of trauma to fix the situation of the white glove society, keeps house alive but out of power which basically really fucks marion up for a long long time, they then spend a million years slowly working their way into the brotherhood of steel to try to get them to kind of... not be involved anymore, same with the khans

they dooooo clear out vault 3 entirely though

What is their S.P.E.C.I.A.L.? str 4; per 8; end 5; cha 4; int 7; agi 3; luk 9. peep that luck bro

Give us a summary of their backstory. OK SO... marion was part of a pretty biggish family closer up north, just kind of, they did business and were vaguely well off. they were always pretty pretentious and loved reading books n shit, tinkering with tech, so their parents were v happy with it. then around the age of thirteen their sight started kicking in, which manifested itself at first as just like a really heavy uneasy feeling whenever something was about to happen, and later kind of... worked itself into what it is now. anyway, they didnt cope very well with it and ended up fucking up a lot of relationships and things when they booked it at about seventeen.

at which point they kind of became a jack of all trades, constantly travelling, settling generally in the mojave. courier mostly at first, then eventually also a mercenary when the business started booming. they constantly had like, at least a couple dozen things going on, so occasionally they would forget a job or two. but considering their sight, they more or less had the ability to go into places that literally no one else could and come out bruised and bloodied but alive. so generally? business was good.

they did a lot of putzing around the strip, helped the followers a bit, etc. just generally has a little bit of history in most parts of the mojave.

after they got shot they forgot some... importantish things, but anyway they eventually fucked off, got ed-e, wandered around, rescued raul+visited him until they eventually just invited him along.

What’s their full name and does it have a meaning? Do they have any nicknames and how did they get em? marion tremblay - a quebecois name basically, uh pretty much their family line came from canada pre annex and were bitter about it.

What’s their sexual, romantic, and gender orientation? Do they feel comfortable telling other people? theyre nonbinary, just kind of, everythings a mess. nothing is definite. they have bigger stuff going on lol. just accepts whatever theyre labelled, but will explain if pressed

Do they have any mental illnesses? How do they cope? uhhh technically they have... some sort of flashbacks, from their sight, that gives them really horrible nightmares. they definitely self medicate its pretty bad. of course they dont really associate their habit of running into danger with their anxiety and attacks and shit, so they basically end up dissociating and confused most of the time, and figure thats just the way it is. and drink. gestures

Do they have any medical conditions? Is medicine/ treatment available for them? nah marions got nothing. theyre surprisingly physically healthy considering the fact that theyre basically useless physically

How much do they care about their outer appearance? What’s their “beauty routine”? How often do they shower/ bathe? they care just as little about bathing as most people in the mojave, but appreciate the ability to wash their hair - comb it pretty regularily. it gets really bad and knotted if they dont

What do they fear the most? their shitty vision failing to manage to do anything for people they love. its done it before

They’re biggest flaw? Do they recognize it as a flaw? their total lack of self-preservation and knowledge of self. like theyll do unhealthy stuff and get totally confused why they feel like shit, dont understand that running into things carelessly is what is making them constantly anxious and depressed, and they think that their inability to talk to people is what is fucking things up

What are they most insecure about? they pretty much lack any insecurity. they know theyre pretty bad at talking to people, but theyre not so much nervous about it as just dont really like doing it

What Wasteland threat do they fear the most? (ex. Deathclaws, super mutants, raiders) most bugs actually. since their sight kind of just keeps them from dying, it usually keeps them from dealing with deathclaws at all - but hanging around cazadores and getting poisoned just kind of means downing so many bottles of water and antivenoms, and it fucking Hurts. plus they just find the way they move really really disgusting lol

What’s their zodiac sign or which one do you think they relate to the most? What are their placements (if you know them)? (ex. Aries sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius Venus) mnmnnmn pisces sun. taurus moon. 

What’s their Myers–Briggs Type? (ex. ENTP, ISFJ) infp lol

What Harry Potter house would they be in? (ex. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw) gonna say hufflepuff because theyre a big softie when it comes to people they actually do like

Which Pokemon Go team would they choose? (ex. Instinct, Valor, Mystic) uh probably instinct? i think thats the yellow one right? 

Out of the nine forms of intelligence (rhythmic, spatial, linguistic, mathematical, kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, and existential) which one(s) are they really good at and which one(s) is(are) their weakest? theyre really good with math and rhythm - not quite as good with interpersonal stuff, or intra for that matter. they dont know shit about themself lol. theyre really good at science stuff in general, though - comes from fiddling with that sort of shit

What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil)

im not too good at pinning down characters, but honestly somewhere between chaotic good and true neutral. will help people, sure, for a price - or if they seem really really desperate. dislikes copious rules but wont go out of way to topple rules so long as they seem more or less fair

Do they have any hobbies? What are they?

they play harmonica! they like to think up songs, make harmonies to the songs on the radio. when they were little they liked to fuss with math puzzles and science shit but lost a lot of the focus as their sight got stronger, stopped being able to sit still long enough to really work on stuff. they like to fuss with ed-e sometimes lol. upgrades n stuff. polishin him

Do they have a favorite holiday? How do they celebrate it? when marion was more into consistent courier-ing, they liked pretty much any holiday that people sent gifts to each other. good for business, it was nice to see people so happy, PLUS people always tipped really well and gave them free food n stuff out of thankfulness.

What’s their favorite season? autumn, mostly - most fair weather. loves the winter when theres no storms or anything - nice to wear lots of layers of clothing and have it be appropriate.

Do they have a temper or are they level headed? pretty level headed, but when they lose their temper they sound kind of ridiculous because their voice gets really high and they??? talk like???? this?????? and theres a lot of gesturing.

they dont really so much lose their temper when they go into combat situations simply because they tend to go from zero to everyones dead, pew pew pew. it does happen sometimes in really tough, long situations, but as it turns out being angry doesnt really make your laser pistol shoot any better or harder Do they express their emotions freely or hide their true feelings? theyre so un-in-tune with their own feelings that they tend to not understand why or what theyre feeling. so its not so much hiding as like ????!??!!?!?!?!?

Are they a leader or a follower?

a leader out of necessity.

How do they come off to others? What first impression do they usually make? creepy. first impression is generally that theyre very businesslike, probably too frail to complete a job. “whys this person being so nice when they look like they want to eat me”

Do they prefer to travel alone or with company? Who have they traveled with if any? Current companion if any? they basically never travelled with a companion until recently. started traveling with ed-e, basically just because he makes sounds when things are happening, eventually found raul and after a good couple times of going back to him to get their laser pistol fixed just kind of invited him to come along. didnt realize he wouldnt be able to fix their pistol on the way lol

Would you describe them as selfless or selfish? Does it depend on the situation? they have the ability to be pretty selfless for the most part since theyre pretty well off from all the work they did before getting shot in the head. on the other hand, theyre not really used to hanging out with other people so theyre kind of selfish when it comes to food n stuff, at least until they got sassed enough for it

What do they find most attractive in others? Name at least one psychological and physical trait. (doesn’t have to be romantic attraction) they usually like people with silver tongues and wide shoulders

Do they flirt often? How easily do they fall in love? they basically do not flirt. they dont register flirting, either. its pretty easy to charm them, but marion is not... a charming person

What’s their love life like? Are they interested in anyone or in a relationship? listen i made the with the almost exclusive purpose of dating raul so. interested lol

Do they prefer to solve things diplomatically or using violence? diplomatically. they generally dislike having to actually, be in danger, but theyre really not charismatic so it usually ends up resorting to either violence, or very well-backed up threats

What is their combat style? What range do they prefer? Do they sneak? they are TOTAL SHIT at sneaking, for like no reason. theyre just... really not athletically inclined. their strategy is usually run and gun, dont stop moving, ABS - always be shooting. turns out when you have a rechargeable gun and the luck of the devil, it doesnt matter how many bullets you take as long as you win lol

What weapon(s) do they always carry with them? recharger pistol!!! they also carry a tiny bowie knife just in case. mostly used to cut plants off stems and cut meat off things. its a whole experience

Their most prized possession? pretty much everything they own is replaceable. the harmonica is nice, cause it pretty much still works entirely, but its definitely not super special or anything. theyd still sell it for a nice meal though

Their thoughts on power armor? a nice idea, but full heavy armor makes it kind of difficult to travel large distances, especially over mountains n shit

Favorite armor/ outfit? gecko-backed leather armor, plus a shitty hood they slapped on top of it. they think it looks so cool, plus its plain enough that its comfortable. they really want a tux lol

How’s their aim? Do their hands shake while pointing a gun? a gun? yes. a laser pistol? no. the second things have like, physical bullets in it, they get super stressed. using lasers instead of pistols or bullets allows a certain level of, like, disconnection from the situation.

What are their thoughts on having to kill on a daily bases in order to survive? Does it take a toll on them? Or do they shake it off rather easily? they really hate it. but honestly they get worse nightmares if they dont keep doing things, like constantly. they prefer to not really have to kill people, so tend to like... threaten and bluster their way through things pretty often. they wont chase down a fleeing enemy unless theyre really super in the zone

Thoughts on death if any? (ex. Fear it, accept it) definitely fear. they pretty much cant die, so theyre pretty confident about it, but its mostly because they manage to disconnect so much from situations that it basically just gives them night terrors. like i said before, complete disconnection from their own emotions. basically a whole lot of marions problems could be fixed by accepting that maybe running into danger is a bad idea, even if they basically cant die.

tl;dr, they think they accept it, but 100% fear

Do they move around a lot or prefer to have a place to call home? they move around SO much. marions pretty much been on the move since they turned 17, constantly doing just about anything they could get their hands on. a million jobs all at once

What’s their favorite location? the strip. they pretty much used to spend most of their spare time down there - loved the food at the ultra luxe, the booze n drugs at gomorrah, and the music company and games at the tops. a couple days of throwing caps down the drain, followed by doing a bunch of odd jobs in the area is a good way of spending a whole week. then, once they had enough messages and packages and people to kill/find, theyd take off again

Their opinions on ghouls, feral and not feral? marion kind of sees themself in feral ghouls. impossible to kill, but at what cost, etc etc. very angsty. thinks ghoul voices are actually kind of pretty

Do they scavenge for their supplies or simply buy them? combination. scavenges what they can, buys the rest. when youre as lucky as they are when finding bullets and bits, you definitely have enough caps for everything else. since theyre shit at repairing, they always get their equipment repaired while out

Are they the type to get distracted and go off to an unknown nearby location or do they stay on track? they definitely amble. long term plans are definite, but when you have maybe five jobs happening at once it doesnt hurt to step aside and grab a new one on the way

How do they sleep? Are they picky about where and how or can they sleep basically anywhere? they tend to get themself pretty blitzed to be able to sleep with few dreams. as a result they can pretty much sleep anywhere, but theyre pretty fitful about it

What’s their favorite radio station and song? (post-apocalypse) they used to like butcher pete but got pretty tired of it after a good, long amount of time. now they think aint that a kick in the head is super funny. since they got shot in the head.

theyre okay with literally every radio station, but likes black mountain radio a lot even though its a lot weirder than it was before. theyre really not sure if the people on the radio are uh ok but uh. makes it a point to eventually check that out.

What’s their favorite post-apocalyptic food? Are they a picky eater? Do they know how to cook? they fucking LOVE fresh fruit - trail mix is a huge fave, nd theyll pay pretty much any amount of money for it, especially since it keeps pretty well. theyre also a fan of like, gourmet shit, since they have the money to spend on it. good steaks are nice. theyre pretty picky, but they usually have a pretty good supply of long-keeping foods to eat on the road. they cant really cook that well though

What’s their favorite beverage? Do they drink alcohol? vodka is a fave. gets them real drunk real fast. a long time ago they managed to trade for some nuka-cherry and its basically their favourite thing in the whole world??????? has a weird distaste for sunset sarsaparilla and gives it all to raul

Do they have any tag skills? energy weapons, science, medicine. really good with e.weapons, more than decent with science, pretty good with medicine. mostly out of patching self up.

Anything they like to collect? (ex. Unique weapons, Bobbleheads) Caps Lol. nah but really they pick up anything that seems interesting to sell. they do have a big intention to buy the unique recharger pistol but its never in stock whenever they go to the kiosk

Are they good at disarming traps or do they constantly miss them? theyre pretty shitty at getting traps, but their luck is amazing with it. they can pretty much walk through a minefield just fine. like running through is safer than trying to disarm, because when you run through a minefield you either die or you dont - when you try really delicately you might blow some important bits up, but you wont die lol

[i-amusemyself]

All 100 Questions.

Bloody hell okay thank you!!! 😄😄😄

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?Yeah, Id say so.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?Aint never had anyone to fake it with 😂 Ngl tho its the sort of thing id do (which is terrible i know)

3. If you could have one super power, what would it be?Mind reading.

4. Do you think youre gonna be rich in 7-8-9 years?I’d be worried if I didnt have more money than I have now, but idk.

5. Tell us some funny drunk story?Oh jeez erm, I don’t really have any 😂 My friends occasionally remind me of the time at the school christmas ball one of the business teachers turned up and I quickly ran away while aggressively whispering “oh no he knows im a lesbian, aimee told him”.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?We work better as friends, its less stressful.

7. If you had to choose one way to die what would it be?See I’m really torn with this question. Part of me thinks itd be nice just to go in my sleep, with a heart attack or something. Its quick and painless you know.But equally I wonder if it would be better to maybe, like, have something where I knew I was gonna die. Because then I’d have time to try and do everything on my bucket list and say goodbye to everyone. Also maybe at that point I’d welcome death lmao.

8. What are your current goals?Idk? Im waiting on A level results which I really hope I’ve done well in.I hope to make lots of new friends at uni and learn how to look after myself quickly I guess. I dont know.

9. Do you like someone?I like a lot of people 😆

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?Im really not sure??? There arent many people I expect anything from and even then my standards are pretty low. So like, I dont really get disappointed by people, only occasionally by situations.

11. Do you like your body?I could hate it a lot more, but I wouldnt say I’m happy with my body or general appearance. I struggle a lot with my features and my weight and the scars I have (which is ridiculous but thats what mental illness is)

12. Can you keep a diet?I mean if I wasnt on the diet im on rn (with lots of restrictions) id probs be in hospital 😂

13. If the whole world was listening to you right now, what would you say?Honestly id pass out under the pressure of it 😂 idk, id tell them all to take a chill pill but no one would listen.

14. Do you work?Nah, i had 3 jobs at once last yeah but now I’ve ended up with none.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?Either garlic bread or chocolate I cant decide!

16. Would you get a tattoo?I’m v much planning on getting one in the near future so yh!!

17. Something you dont mind spending all your money on?Plane tickets.

18. Can you drive?Yeah! I havent driven since I passed my test, but hopefully I havent forgotten how to that quickly!

19. When was the last time someone told you youre beautiful?…I cant remember. Thats depressing (not that I blame them).

20. What was the last thing you cried for?Argh I have no idea why I was crying, my brain just wasnt doing its job so everything made me stressed and sad.

21. Do you keep a journal?I keep a blog for diary posts but besides that nah

22. Is life fun?If you allow it to be, yeah

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Tf is that supposed to mean? I guess if you know the person well it is.

24. Whats your dream car?I dont know about Dream Car, id have to research it loads to decide what my absolute fave it. Although rn I’d really love a ‘67 VW beetle bc theyre small and cheap on insurance 😂

25. Are grades in school important?My own grades are super important to me, (to the point its probably unhealthy) but in terms of how the people around me do, it doesnt really matter to me. I mean, I want everyone to do well, but I dont judge people based on it.

26. Describe your crush.She’s funny and all around awesome and interesting and good at deep convos and beautiful and way out of my league.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?The last one I read called The Bell Jar. It was unlike anything I’ve ever read and made me think about a lot of things. Also I related a lot with the main character.

28. What was your last lie?Eh, probably “im fine”.

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?Idk?? I only keep track of the good lies 😉

30. Is crying in front of people embarrasing?It shouldnt be but yeah, I try my best not to.

31. Something you did and are proud of?Umm, idk im p proud of playing basketball and representing my region/training with england. But i quit that so 👏 dicks out for my regrettable decisions 👏

32. Whats your favourite cocktail?Never had one

33. Something you are good at?Annoying people and being clingy 😂 also maths ig

34. Do you like small kids?It depends on the child, the day of the week, the lunar cycle, my menstrual cycle, how hungry I am…Yh legit sometimes I hate them sometimes I love them.

35. How are you feeling right now?Great omg I just got my best friend to watch mamma mia and now shes high on life next to me.

36. What would you name your daughter/son?🤐 there are a couple of names for girls I like and like 2 boys names? But i dont wanna say bc theyre embarrasing.

37. What do you need to be happy?Good company, good food and possibly music.

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now?Theres always at least 3 people I would love to punch 😂

39. What was the last gift you recieved?My best friend got me a necklace and I almost cried its so beautiful

40. What was the last gift you gave?The gift of my company @only-slightly-dangerous 😉😉😉

41. What was the last concert you went to?I went to to see Amber Run in february

42. Favourite place to shop at?Um, as in shop? A place called blue banana probs (england’s hot topic smh)

43. Who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander bc they helped me to understand who I am and how I feel and to be loud and proud about it.And Luke Cutforth bc he’s so open about his mental health and struggles with self harm but hes so happy now.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?18 lmao

45. How old were you when you first got high?It aint happened yet (and i dont really want it to)

46. How old were you when you first had sex?It aint happened yet smh

47. When was your first kiss?As far as im concerned never

48. Something you want to do until the end this year?What….does this mean….? Idk???

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadnt done?It’s more stuff I wish I had done tbh. I suppose I said things I shouldnt have or got too involved in drama, but you kinda need all that secondary school shit to learn from it

50. Post a selfie.Lmao nah fam

51. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friend by a mile. Privacy who?

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.Abandonment without explanation.

53. What kind of books do you read?Anything non fiction about medicine/being a doctor/disease/psycopaths.Besides that whatever has been recommended.

54. What would you tell your 12 y/o self?1. Youre gay2. You and I both know you arent joking about being “a dude trapped in a girls body” stop laughing it off and confront it.3. Stand up for yourself.4. Chill out.5. Laugh a lot more omg

55. What is your favourite flower?It’s between petunias and roses

56. Any bad habits you have?Not answering peoples messages unless theyre Certain Person A or Certain Person B.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?Ones that are out of my league and could kick my ass apparently. Also ones that are kind, listen and think a lot I guess

58. What was the last thing you cried for?Already answered

59. Is there something you dont eat? A food that truly disgusts you?I dont eat loads of stuff bc my guts hate me 😂 but besides all that I’m actually the worlds least picky eater. The only thing I dont like is raw tomato. Thats it.

60. Are you in love?I wish

61. Something you find romantic?All the clichés ngl 😂 just anything that says “i love you” or “i was thinking about you” really

62. How long was your longest relationship?Like 4 months? Barely long term.

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?Oh jeez i hate these theyre so stereotype-y1. Bitching2. Not supporting each other3. ….?

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?1. Not supporting each other2. Massive egos3. Yelling

65. What are you saving money for?Uni so I dont starve to death!

66. How would you describe your bad side?Hmm, idk, it depends what someone did to get on my bad side. I’d say stubborn, bitter and angry tho usually.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?I could be wrong but I think so long as someone has morally good intentions they are usually a good person, whether they always succeed or not. So yeah, I like to think I am.

68. What are you living for?My friends and the hope I have for my future.

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?Piracy? Thats it.

70. Do you like your money?….did I type this question wrong or??

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Okay, the honest answer? Yeah. When I was a lot younger and less mature and someone said something that hurt me, I tried to retaliate with equally hurtful comments. I like to think I wouldnt do that now.

72. Ever sent nudes?Lol no

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?Hell no

74. Favourite candy?All candy hates me 😂

75. Is there a blog you visit everyday or almost every day? Tag them.Yeah @oneshappyplace knows I regularly spam her with notes in search or Quality Memes (im so sorry)

76. Do you play any computer games? Whats ur fave?Nah, as if I have time 😂

77. Favourite TV series?Argh I canny choose? I love the IT Crowd, I love supernatural, I love Sherlock, I love in the flesh…

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?I’m not religious and personally I don’t believe there’s a god or higher power but I could be wrong.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?The Bell Jar. See 27.

80. What do you think about vegetarians and veganism?I respect it I guess? At one point I was p much a vegetarian until I had to restrict my diet sooo. Tho I could never be one now, let alone a vegan.

81. How long have you been on tumblr?Too long 😂😂😂 Like 3 or 4 years?

82. Do you like chinese food?Love it!

83. McDonalds or Subway?(Never been to subway so) McDonalds.

84. Vodka or Whisky?(Never had whisky so) Vodka.

85. Alcohol or Drugs?(Never had drugs so) Alcohol.

86. Ever been out of your country?I’m currently in the USA so yeah 😂

87. Meaning behind your blog name?It’s p self explanatory and also v true

88. What are you scared of?Abandonment, deep water, knives, toys with battery packs.

89. Last time you were insulted?Ugh, probs like when I met up with a load of school friends for our leaver’s ball.

90. Most traumatic experience?I’d rather not answer that lmao (plus itd take a long time to type)

91. Perfect date idea?Chilling and listening to each other’s favourite songs while coexisting and eating fast food 😂 that or ikea ngl

92. Favourite app on your phone?Tumblr. Even though I hate it, it also keeps me sane.

93. What colour are the walls in your room?White and blue.

94. Do you watch youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I love so many youtubers omg. Lukeisnotsexy, mileschronicles, realisticallysaying and filthy frank are faves

95. Share your favourite quote.Pick your fights.

96. What is the meaning of life?To live life to the fullest so youre happy and have minimal regrets. Also to be kind and helpful so even if you dont change the world you might help someone else to.

97. Do you like horror movies?I think….? But I’m not good at watching them alone 😂

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Eh…again, would rather not answer (we got some nice supressed memories here)

99. Do you feel lucky or special in any way?I’m still totally in awe of how lucky I am to have met my best friend from 3000 miles away. Like, the probability of it was so so slim and yet here we are.

100. Can you keep a secret?I think so yh! It’s something that I consider super important.

[irregodless]

so like. id post a real review of the bye bye man but none of you care. nor should you.

the bye bye man was just plain bad. it wasnt hilariously bad. it wasnt even cringe-ily bad. it was just plain bad.

if youre morbidly MORBIDLY curious i recommend you go see it ONLY on a nice saturday night when theres more likely to be more people watching it. those are the ONLY circumstances you should see the bye bye man under. because with any luck youll have an audience like ours where nobody took it seriously and you could all laugh about how bad it is together.

it’s not worth renting and its def not worth buying. not even for a small viewing with your friends. fifteen bucks is also a steep price to pay for a communal bonding experience, so allow me to recommend: not watching it at all. or tbh paying for a better movie and sneaking in to see it

its only any good with an audience that makes fun of it. and even then it was only good for about fifteen minutes.

in case youre morbidly curious but also dont want to LITERALLY waste your money; a review underneath:

first and foremost the bye bye man himself looks like lord palpatine and voldemort had a kid

mixed with that beauty and the beast ripoff with the guy and the tattoos

MIXED with ruvik from the evil within

now what IS it?

its a worse version of freddy krueger. nightmare on elm street had charm to it, yknow? it was kind of a comedy. it made fun of horror. freddy was an enjoyable character. there was also a story behind it, even if it took a few sequels to get to

spoilers oncoming, obviously

the bye bye man, seemingly, is an escapee from the teenagers prison part of fosters home for imaginary friends because the first and only time he was every mentioned coming up was when a kid blamed killing his entire family on “the bye bye man.”

the reason its a ripoff of freddy krueger, by the way, is because the bye bye man only exists as long as anybody knows his name. as long as someone remembers he exists he DOES exist. which makes it an obnoxious and probably lame metaphor about how we “give our thoughts power”

the film also neglects to tell what would happen if you said “bye-bye, man” to someone. we dont know if that would summon him

but basically what happens is someone learns his name and because LOL ITS SO RIDICULOUS LOL (the movie acknowledges this but acts poorly on it by not even making it interesting or a big deal) people spread it and tell others. but theres no reason hes named the bye bye man. theres no big fuck at the end where some deep hidden meaning (or even obvious meaning in that he makes you go bye bye) where it ALL MAKES SENSE AND GIVES U CHILLS

if they wanted it to be better, to prove how ridiculous it was we could “give power” to this idea and spread it because its silly they LITERALLY just should have gone with “peepee poopoo man” like honestly

but we get 0 backstory as to where he came from. not even like. “OOO EVIL INDIAN VOODOO LOL” like NOTHING WE DONT KNOW WHERE HE CAME FROM THEY DIDNT CARE THEY JUST WANTED TO THROW SOME SPOOKY AMBIANCE AND SOME JUMPSCARES TOGETHER AND MAKE SOME MONEY IT SUCKS SO MUCH

anyway

once you know the name you start hallucinating and all you can think about is the bye bye man and you end up coming into danger the longer it is until something bad happens.

HOWEVER

only one character dies because of this. she sees a car crash and a dying family and runs to save them (which is the same way the family of the person she was driving with died, which means it would have made more sense for HIM to see that and get worked up over it. not to mention she was canonically sensitive to spirits so just by being in close proximity to him itd make sense shed see their death scene which means we dont even know that the bye bye man caused that to happen. and shes the only case of the bye bye man “killing” anyone. just knowing his name torments people with intrusive thoughts and nightmares which could be explained by................................ mold or mental illness.)

so bc you know his name you get nightmares and nono thoughts and the only way to kill him is to kill everyone who knows about him so they cant spread his name. but somehow he always sticks around. BECAUSE SOME ASSHOLE WHO KNEW NOBODY COULD KNEW HIS NAME. CARVED THE BYE BYE MANS FUCKING NAME INTO A DRESSER FOR EVERYONE TO FUCKING FIND. IF HE KNEW NOBODY COULD KNOW HIS NAME. WHY DID HE PUT IT THERE? OR DID THE BYE BYE MAN PUT IT THERE? BUT CAN THE BYE BYE MAN STILL EXIST IF NOBODY KNOWS? CAN HE MANIPULATE THE PHYSICAL PLANE? if the bye bye mans name exists on paper but nobody knows it, by platos/socrates forms does he still exist in some capacity?

let me make a list of all the things the bye bye man HIMSELF has been shown to do DIRECTLY (there is no proof he even causes the nightmares)

fed his demon dog dead people

randomly appeared in the house

scratched up the bricks on the fence outside the house

poked the guy in the forehead (im not even joking. he doesnt do shit at the end. he just boops the guy on the head to the tune of the doorbell ringing and then the guy kills himself because its “too much” apparently)

the bye bye man did nothing wrong

the bye bye man LITERALLY DID NOTHING WRONG

HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING

HE JUST WANTED TO FEED HIS DOG. AND BY ALL CONCEPTS, U COULD JUST SEE THAT AS HIM BEING A DEATH GOD. THE REAPER. HIS DOG COMES AND EATS UR BODY AS A REPRESENTATION OF DECAY (since his dog is like. giant and skinless itself.)

so yeah the movie doesnt even prove that the bye bye man is doing anything actively malicious. maybe the bye bye man WANTS people to forget about him maybe he doesnt want people getting into his business

so.

-no backstory -harmless antagonist -boring jumpscares -unlikable characters (he has ONE intrusive thought his gf is cheating on him with his bff and “SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG HERE!!!!” and immediately starts grilling them, assuming they ARE having an affair) which brings me to: -barely anything happens and they start freaking out because somethings wrong (she zoned out and doodled in her notebook and he had a nightmare, and suddenly theyre super defensive about it) -a twist at the end that doesnt even ultimately matter -FUCKING OPENING FOR A SEQUEL LIKE PLEASE FUCK OFF -stupid name with a DECENT concept that was executed horribly because they didnt know wtf they were doing. the concept, btw, was only DECENT. and even if it had been a dumb metaphor about the power we give to ideas, maybe that should have been focused more heavily on than being a throwaway line ONCE during the beginning of the movie -annoying seance scene with nonbelievers and SUPER DUPER REAL PSYCHIC, WE SWEAR

it was just bad dont watch it

EDIT: also they did nothing with the fact that “ooh, you the audience thought it was silly but u all kno his name and told ppl and everyone is @ risk.... now U ALL NEED TO DIE!!!! MUAHAHALOLHAHA”

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How do I write an autistic villain without demonizing autism by accident? ;-;

I’m not really sure why you’re messaging this to me. I’m really sorry but I’m not an expert on like.. political stuff about autism stereotyping, just because I’m autistic. And it depends on which country you live in, I know that america has a far more visible sort of cultural presence for stereotypes, due to the whole Autism $peaks controversies. I dont live in america and I’m not super smart or anything, so yeah this is a disclaimer that this is just my opinion and you should probably research answers given by other people too. And maybe ask people about the specific circumstances of what you’re writing, like the context of the setting of the story and what the villain is like, etc. I’d be happy to chat to you about that if you need help! (but again, im no expert, lol)

ANYWAY!

My opinion on the subject is that having an autistic villain is perfectly fine, as long as you’re not villainizing autism. Like...* Don’t make the autism the reason theyre a villain.* Don’t make people scared of them because of the autism, rather than because they’re a villain.* Don’t treat their autistic traits as scary or inherantly villainous.* Don’t make anyone insult them for their autism and act like its justified because they’re evil.

And similarly its bad form to do any of that stuff in regard to any sort of minority really. An example that always bugged me is how Excellus from Fire Emblem Awakening is scary and evil because he’s a murderous monster, yet everyone in the game constantly insults him for the fact he acts ambiguously gay/transgender/effeminate. Like, there’s way too many jokes about people finding him ‘disgusting’ because of some random thing he can’t change, like a sexuality, race or mental illness which plenty of non-evil people have too! It also lessens his impact as a villain because the characters barely even address the actual villainous things he does, and he doesnt seem to have any motive at all. They just ride on the whole ‘the audience will find him gross’ thing as a crutch and forgot to bother writing a good villain.

Oh, and your concerns are indeed valid, yo! Sometimes it is important to think about the context you created a character in, even if you didnt intentionally create any negative messages within your writing.It’s just that the case where a character will be seen as villainizing [minority trait] for being a villain... that’s kind of only in a very specific circumstance? its just that this specific circumstance is very very common in mass media nowadays.It’s ‘The Smurfette Principle’.If you only have one character of a minority in your cast, its easy for an uninformed audience to pick up messages that you’re saying ALL members of that minority are the same as them.If you only have one autistic character and he’s the villain, then you might accidentally be villainizing him. In a world where autistic characters being villainized for their autism is already very common, people could just assume you made them autistic for the same reason all those other writers did- because they think it’s ‘scary’. It feeds the stereotype even if you didn’t conciously intend it that way.

So a very very easy way to fix this problem is just to add multiple characters of a minority into your story, filling various roles from villain to hero to helpful npc. or anything you can think of!

Another good quick fix is to have your villain be autistic, but portray their autistic traits as sympathetic/relateable/a humanizing aspect of them. Not just portraying it as something neutral that doesnt make them scary, but going out of your way to add some scenes showing how they’re just like anybody else. Or even making it one of their redeeming traits!It doesn’t have to outright be something like ‘yo being autistic makes me inherantly good and childlike’, which is a stereotype all to itself, lol. But you could show them experiencing predjudice from another character, in a way that makes the audience sympathise. Honestly having a character attack them for being autistic instead of being a villain would be a good way to do this, as long as that character is actually shown as being wrong for what they’re doing. Or simply showing the villain having common autistic traits, facing common problems, doing common everyday things... that can be enough to portray autism positively. Have them shown doing this stuff outside of the situation of them being villainous. It makes them feel more human and less of an abstract symbol of evil. And because these small glimpses of normality are lightening the mood, they become seen as a positive aspect!

KIND OF AN OFFTOPIC TANGEANT SORRYJust my personal experience as an autistic kid experiencing this story... I personally headcanoned Cyrus from pokemon as autistic. Not because he’s ‘scary and emotionless’, but because his backstory was relateable to me as an autistic person. It’s said that his parents were emotionally abusive, and that he had nobody to turn to because everyone thought he was ‘a creepy kid’. And he was able to find solace by obsessing over repairing machines in his bedroom, and apparantly has trouble understanding people because they can’t be fixed as easily. Stuff like maths and science are kind of a stereotypical Special Interest for autistic children to be given in fiction, I guess because it makes you seem more intelligent when you obsess about that instead of video games, norse mythology, or collecting tiny novelty spoons from around the world XD (Yeah i was a weird kid.)So yeah sorry I went a little offtopic there, but the point is that it might have been by accident instead of intention but that villain has a lot of traits that read as autistic. And when i first played Diamond and Pearl I actually disliked him a lot because of that, I felt like they were villainizing someone who seemed relateable and potentially redeemable. I mean, he seemed pretty depressed too! Give that man some therapy! But when I played Platinum and got to learn his backstory I started to feel like the writers actually did want us to feel sympathetic to him, because of how all those ‘scary’ traits were presented so sympathetically. Like.. the backstory isn’t that he became evil because he was an autistic kid who did creepy things like obsess about machinery and suck at social contact. No, he became a villain because he was abused by his parents, him being ‘weird’ is just intended to make it clear here that he didnt deserve it. It makes him pitiable, it makes him relateable, it makes you feel so much more frustrated that nobody listened to him and saved him from that hell, and nobody even seems to remember him fondly, just because he was ‘weird’. And hell, even his ‘emotion is evil’ philosophy seems very relateable to me as an autistic child. It seems like he learned to seclude himself to avoid angering his parents. That’s the impression I got from his final scene in Platinum, where he finally acts angry at you for beating him, then gets angry at himself for expressing emotion and forces himself to go back to how he usually talks. I get a bit pissed off whenever I see fans of the series claim he actually IS emotionless, lol! This scene made it clear to me that this is just a guy who WISHES he was emotionless, somehow seeing it as the only way to be free of pain. Someone who struggles to deal with his own emotions, or feels like he’s disgusting when he expresses them. And this is VERY relateable specifically to an autistic kid who suffered from an abusive parent! “Quiet Hands” is a kind of common concept that autistic kids might experience, that’s the name for a popular ‘parenting technique’ that really fucks people up. Focusing on making your kid never ‘act autistic’, rather than actually helping them understand things. ‘Quiet Hands’ is specifically about slapping or smacking your kid whenever they show stimming behaviour. (Hand flapping being a common way this symptom can manifest.) We’re taught never to be too loud, and to always always have to restrain ourselves to avoid embarassing our parents. We have to try and learn how to act like ‘normal people’ and become scared of harmless parts of our own brain just because theyre ‘embarassing’, leading to even worse emotional problems as an adult. i mean seriously how is it logical to tell a kid who has troubles with social interaction that they shouldnt even practise it?? Plus its a huge mess to teach these kids to do way more emotional labour than neurotypical kids are expected to do, and then treat them like they’re below average intelligence for not being able to do twice as much as everyone else...

ANYWAY! That’s a thinG! Sorry I went rambling off there about how a particular fictional character touched my heart, lol!I just kinda wish he could be canonically autistic, or if I had similar canonically autistic characters to relate to, instead. So i think having more autistic villains can’t be bad, we’re so badly in need of more autistic characters in general! And villains have a unique perspective of being able to hit our emotions the hardest. I think its easier to cry over someone who has a sad backstory of how they became evil, compared to anything else!So yeah what I was trying to say before I went offtopic is that if the backstory is ‘became evil because autism’, then people will complain. But if the backstory is ‘became evil because someone mistreated them because autism’ then that’s a good way to make people sympathise with autism. Aaaaand I’m bad at explaining this, because autism XD Well, i mean, my personal symptoms and lack of diagnosis til I was an adult means that I’m still working on learning how to communicate correctly, I don’t mean every autistic person writes terrible tl;dr advice posts that degrade into pokemon XDOh man i feel embarassed now, you asked me such a polite question and I didnt know how to answer it very well...I just hope maybe I inspired you to go out and do more research, rather than putting you off with my nonsense!

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Huh! An Idea!

Hey I just heard about a very cool-seeming anime called (I think?) Rehibilitaion Of An MMO Junkie! It seems really nice cos its one of those stories about hikkomori (I think thats the japanese word for it?)- depressed people who stay at home all day and are socially anxious about going out in public. LOL RELATEABLE, AMIRITE? no but seriously beyond just Jokes, this is a very sad modern manifestation of a timeless mental illness, and i know these feelings well and i wish people could have less stigma about this and instead just give these people the help they need. And that’s why i love this anime concept, cos its a sympathetic take on one of these people as a protagonist, and how videogames as escapism can be A Good Thing and how long distance relationships Are Also Good. Like wtf, subverting all the cliches at once?? Its a really cute looking romance story of her meeting a guy online via vidjagaems, and their love being absolutely real and pure, and it rekindling her will to live and helping her find the courage to take more risks in real life and start the road to recovery. And then they work thru all their various issues as a couple and meet up in real life and have a happily ever after! :D

Now okay, that sounds really cool and I ABSOLUTELY want to watch this show and I will make more posts about it when I do! But also it gave me a bit of a story idea so i’m gonna ramble!!!!!

Okay so kind of a wasted potential thing here is how it has a plot about the two halves of the couple playing as the opposite gender online and like.. nothing is done with it? Nothing really creative or relevant to like.. gender. It just seems like a weird way they could invoke LGBT imagery but technically not be LGBT I guess? Like neither character is trans or has any deep reason for playing that character except ‘my fave colour is pink and people would make fun of me if they knew i was a dude’ and ‘i wanna play a hot guy cos i was kinda lonely and drunk when i saw this MMO’. But then a lot of stuff about it kinda feels like the writers were.. not predjudiced against LGBT or anything?? like the lady protag has NO angst about getting a crush on a seemingly female player, it seems perfectly acceptable in-universe and nobody even mentions homophobia. And there’s a pair of characters that for all extents and purposes looks like a gay couple for half of the game its just like a footnote that one of them is female in real life. So like I don’t know if this was someone being overly careful to censor stuff while still hinting at it, or like if it was never intended to look LGBT and it was all a weird accident?? But anyway thats why it made me go WTF THERE WOULD BE SO MUCH POTENTIAL IN AN LGBT MMO ROMANCE and hey here we go!

THE IDEA TIME what if there was an anime about someone who plays a (presumed) cis dude in an mmo who is actually a trans dude irl? so you could have the same plots about keeping a secret and having a big difference between real and internet personas, but also it could be a wish fullfillment persona and the plot could be less about ‘i’m lying about myself’ and more about ‘the only place i can be the real me is online’. And how sad that is and then how triumphant it could be at the end to be able to be himself in the real world too! and also like... its already coincidental enough that two people would fall in love in an mmo and then end up to be living in the same neighbourhood in real life. so if this anime has me have to believe that silliness, its not too silly to say that two trans people could bump into each other in an mmo! have a trans man and a trans woman who meet as their online personas without knowing either of them is trans, and then their adventures online forming their relationship, learning about each othr, and like meeting a bunch of other LGBT players and forming a guild to fight discrimination in the mmo community?

Also it could be interesting to maybe combine this with the ‘trapped in an mmo world’ genre? Like it’d be extra cool to be a trans dude who’s like.. one of the only people who doesnt want to escape the MMO world. And people could think he’s just a childish jerk who’s addicted to the fantasy life, not knowing about his secret reason he loves this new life. So maybe his personality could be a very ordinary and cute looking dude whose personality is like.. absolutely fearless monster battle man! Like everyone else’s mmo avatars are all super idealized cliche buff and hot people and his is just as close as he could get to his real self but post transition. So he’s five foot tall and chubby and has big ol soulful dragon ball Z krillin eyes and then his job class is something unfitting like gladiator or barbarian with an axe twice his body size! And then in retrospect that’s the most cliche masculine class so maybe the female lead could be a not cliche feminine class, so it doesnt seem like I’m making any statement? cos ‘youre not trans if you dont act stereotypically your gender’ is a real issue within the community, sadly. Oh! Maybe! Maybe theyre both buff classes! But like he could be a tank type that protects his allies and she’s just a regular warrior with no extra functionality. Or another DPS class like thief or black mage? But I like the idea of two very shy and adorable people who both prefer buffness, and then having kind of a badass hero role amoungst their guild and the plot itself. Like, winning the actual battles against bosses is less of a challenge than conquering their various real life worries and being emotionally ready to return home at the end of the journey. Its like a slice of life hiding as an action show! Except you still do see action, its just all comparatively effortless like one punch man. Oh and maybe while male lead made his avatar look just like himself but post transition, female lead’s avatar is kind of an exaggerated ideal stereotypical female thing? Because she’s self concious about being very tall and not very curvy and stuff, even post transition. And like she’s angsting about being forced into further cosmetic plastic surgery that she doesn’t really want, to get a body that she doesn’t really want, but feels like she HAS to have. Like maybe she has some sort of friend in real life who’s like a Fedora Wearing Fake Nice Guy who keeps trying to get her to give in and date him like ‘you’ll never get anyone else’, and trying to make her change herself. Negging champion of utter hateability!

And then female lead could be kind of a mentor role to male lead because she’s post transition, and motivates him to believe that someday he’ll be able to transition too and he doesn’t need to stay trapped forever in a fake world in order to be himself. And he could also be the same mentor role to her because he’s like... happy? Well, obviously he isn’t 100% happy because that’s his whole problem, but he doesn’t have the same social anxiety issues and he’s more confident in his anxiety without worrying that he’s wrong and he really is a girl, etc etc. Like he’s at peace with being trans and his obstacle is just feeling like he’ll never pass successfully without surgery, and never be able to get that surgery. It took him ages to even get on HRT, possibly because of something like being trapped in an abusive family that didnt aknowledge his gender? or possibly just because of being in a country where he’d need a lot of money to get the treatment he needs, or because of struggling to find a good doctor? So anyway now he’s just started HRT and he expected everything to be okay now, but he’s getting frustrated how long it’s taking to have the amount of visual change he needs to be respected by his coworkers and stuff, and now he’s had some sort of other money emergency and he may not be able to get top surgery in the end. So at the time of starting this MMO he was really un-optimistic about his future and looking for an escape. And she was looking for a similar escape because she didnt have any support group while transitioning, and had got trapped into an abusive relationship with this other dude that was making her feel like a fake woman who’d never be loved by anyone except him. So she was considering giving in and falling into his trap, and that’s her reason to be terrified of going back to the real world... And so they both are all OH MY GOD YOURE SO AMAZING I’M SO TRASH about each other, and they help teach each other two different aspects of self love that they were missing, and they make a bunch of other friends in the LGBT community, and generally find the love and support they always needed! And then in the end they could go back to the real world and move in together and slap negging man in the face, and keep in touch with all the other guildmates and create a better community for all queer folks playing this game! Woo! And also maybe the final scene could be like ‘wow we havent seen you guys for ages’ ‘yeah we were so busy with the wedding, we couldnt play!’ and then the guild’s wedding gift to them was saving up for a rare ingame item that lets you re-customize your character, and female lead makes one that looks closer to her real life appearance cos now she’s happy with herself! and then we pan out and see that male lead now also looks totally identical to his ingame self, and he did manage to transition in the end! ...and then i dunno, cliche anime everyone looks at the camera and jumps and the theme tune plays, lol