#being self indulgent with the other idiots next

[sesshy380]

Ship Ask- Longfic AU Kat x Marik edition

I had seen a ship ask game, and I wanted to be self-indulgent and just answer like 99% of the questions without having people ask them. After encouragement from others that I should just do it, I began slowly working on fulfilling my self-indulgence.

If certain things have already happened in longfic, I’ll mention the chapter where it can be found. Anything that might be a potential future spoiler (meaning it hasn’t been posted yet), I will avoid anything beyond the hinting of it being possibly explored.

Important notes for those who haven’t read longfic: Bakura, Malik (Yami Marik), and Kat (OC) are immortal elemental beings. Their canon pasts are butchered and mutated to fit my AU. Also, so people don’t freak out when reading some of the answers, the Yami’s are the biological paternal figures to their hosts. I’m not dragging out the yarn board to explain how it all works. If you really want to know, just read the insanity. It’s called Tangled Web of Fate for a reason.

Another thing to note: Kat is chronologically 5,000 years old. Physically and mentally, however, she is 16, just like Marik. I have stuck with that age for Marik since the story itself picks up one month after Battle City. If the whole ‘age’ thing bothers you, this is a good time to follow the age old art of ‘Don’t like; don’t read’.

1. Describe their first date.

Found in Chapter 11. Their first ‘date’ was the result of Kat dragging along a reluctant Marik as a distraction to calm down, and it ended with Marik being really confused about why he felt the way he did towards a girl. They both still refer to that day as the ‘not-a-date’.

2. Who wakes up early/Who sleeps in late?

Kat is not a morning person. Marik is indifferent…except when he’s up too late, as is evident in chapter 86. That happened to also be one of those times when Kat was up early…and once she’s up, she’s up.

3. What was their first impression of each other?

I know this question is meant more for the typical couple, but with these two it’s not as simple as ‘they saw the other and thought they were cute’.

Marik’s first time ‘meeting’ Kat (that he knows of) was in chapter 5 in a vision/dream…and she was a cat. He was pretty annoyed with the cat.

Kat, on the other hand, first ‘met’ Marik not long after his birth. She was more focused on her own current situation, so she only saw him as her friend’s heir and nothing more at the time.

4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

They are both equal in the ‘initiates affection’ department. Kat has always been affectionate even on a platonic level, as can be seen with her weird relationship with Bakura (Marik occasionally questions if the two are really just friends, but he’s not going to be an ass and tell his girlfriend she needs to change how she acts with her bestie). Because of how affectionate Kat is on a physical level, Marik is at ease showing the same level of affection in return. He found he actually likes it.

5. Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?

They’ve had a few arguments, but it’s usually because Kat has this bad habit of trying to keep herself emotionally distant (for good reason). Chapter 57 is where shit hits the fan when she confesses to having a moment of weakness and offering herself to her ex (Atem). Marik is understandably upset, and he blows up over it and storms out of the house.

6. How do they make up/apologize after an argument?

Cuddles. Because I’m the author and I am a sucker for post-argument cuddles. No other reason.

7. How often do they say “I love you”?

Marik is the only one to have said it, and he says it often. Kat has implied it, but she’s still emotionally wounded from her marriage with Atem and the fear of being hurt again is strong enough that she actively avoids saying those words.

8. What do they love most about the other? Why?

Kat- How patient and understanding Marik has been with her. Also how he is able to relate to many of the things she says and does in his own way, and it makes her feel more ‘human’ as a result.

Marik- How Kat makes him feel like he’s in a dream he doesn’t want to wake up from. He gets to explore and learn more about himself without feeling judged.

9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?

Kat- Dislikes when Marik calls her out on some of the things she does, because she’s been oblivious to a lot of her own behavior for several millennia (too many idiots let her get away with just about everything).

Marik- Dislikes that Kat has this bad habit of doing things that benefit others at the cost of her own happiness. Too much of her personality revolves around making others happy.

10. Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?

They both like to work in the garage. Kat on muscle cars and Marik on motorcycles. Their first ‘date’ took them to a motorcycle shop that Marik had been wanting to check out, where Kat bought him his first Harley Davidson jacket (it was jean of course, because he’s vegan and won’t wear real leather). They also shared their first kiss in Kat’s garage.

11. How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?

They both use nicknames/terms of endearment.

Kat- Was the first by calling Marik ‘Pretty One’, which quickly evolved into the Egyptian Arabic ‘gamiil’. After Marik said ‘I love you’ the first time, ‘gamiil’ became replaced with the ancient Egyptian ‘sehedj-ib’, which loosely translates to ‘the one who gladdens my heart’. This was her way of expressing that Marik makes her happy.

Marik- Since they made things official between them, he has taken to calling Kat ‘habibty’. It’s his way of showing her that he considers her someone special.

12. Do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

Mildly independent on both their parts, unless something happens that prompts the need for concern when apart, like Marik’s concern after the events of chapter 91.

13. How do they keep in contact when they’re apart? Do they write letters, talk on the phone, or simply wait out the time?

Their time apart is mostly due to Marik attending school. They spend his lunch period texting.

14. Do they enjoy PDA, or are they more private with affection?

They have no problem expressing how they feel with one another out in the open.

15. What songs remind you of their relationship?

Blinding Lights by the Weeknd

16. Would they ever get matching tattoos? If yes, what would these look like?

So this one is a bit tricky. Kat’s body instantly heals and is resistant to scarring, and Marik doesn’t like the idea of having anything that is ‘permanent’ (for obvious reasons). They would, however, both get airbrushed tattoos. It would probably be some form of a phoenix to symbolize being reborn from their past. Plus, there has to be fire to symbolize Kat’s element, which Marik found he isn’t afraid of.

17. How well do they communicate? Are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? Why?

Marik is more open in his feelings. Kat is still reserved and has a hard time saying how she feels. This is due to the emotional trauma Atem caused her across the millennia.

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

Kat doesn’t really have to worry about wounds or illness, but that doesn’t stop Marik from trying to protect her when someone does something to hurt her, or from worrying when she’s not exactly up to par. Chapter 26 and chapters 58 & 59 are good examples of this.

When Marik was nearly drained by Kat in chapter 33 (during a moment when she wasn’t entirely in control), Kat stayed by his side. She only left when Bakura woke up so she could do some damage control with her bestie, but Malik was present and she knew he would take care of Marik in her absence.

19. Do they wear each other’s clothes/jewelry?

They do! Kat has no issue with some of Marik’s more effeminate clothing choices. If anything, she finds it cute. Marik’s only issue is when she borrows something and doesn’t put it back after. Kat has a bad habit of setting things in places she can find them later, instead of where they belong.

20. How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

Cuddles and talking. This is most effective towards Kat. Marik needs a bit more, and Kat usually sweetens the pot either with motorcycles or sex. Both are extremely effective.

21. Do they enjoy domestic life?

Domestic life is okay from time-to-time, but it’s not something they would enjoy long-term. They both enjoy the thrill of living on the edge and feeling ‘alive’.

22. Are they comfortable joking around with each other and being silly/playful?

Very much so. They were both robbed of having a real childhood, so they are basically big children some days.

23. What are the defining characteristics of their relationship?

Patience, understanding, and acceptance. Also, the exploration of an unknown future and discovery of self.

24. How do their personalities affect their relationship? Do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

Both are a mix of two different eras, which makes it where they can be genuine with each other. Marik doesn’t feel he has to hide any of his Tomb Keeper past or his time running an international crime organization. Kat doesn’t have to hide that she’s an immortal being from 5,000 years ago or any of the ‘not-human’ aspects of herself.

25. Do they share a room/house? If so, what does it look like and how does it compliment their personalities?

At the moment, they live in Kat’s house, but she’s made space in her room for his stuff. Her vanity has a lot of Marik’s jewelry boxes on it at the moment, along with his makeup. Kat is often minimalist when it comes to these things, but she still owns her share of it. It should go without saying, but Marik obviously keeps his motorcycle in the garage as well.

26. What sacrifices do they make for the other?

Kat- Restricts how much meat she eats in Marik’s presence since he’s vegan (and she’s literally the opposite).

Marik- Made a deal with Apep, the Serpent of Destruction, to help keep Kat’s vampire-like nature a bit more under control (Chapter 34).

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

Have I mentioned these two enjoy cuddling and just being near each other?

28. Who’s the better chef? Do they cook for the other?

Kat is forbidden from cooking (she doesn’t have the patience for it). Marik isn’t really interested in learning. Both are content with take-out.

29. Describe their nighttime routine.

Marik attempting to remove his jewelry and makeup and getting distracted 99% of the time before he’s finished. He’s 16 and sharing a house and bed with his girlfriend. Hormones are in control come nighttime.

30. What are their respective love languages? Do their love languages work well together?

Kat- Gift giving and physical touch. This is her way of showing that she is paying attention to a person’s likes/wants/needs.

Marik- Giving affirmation and physical touch. Affirmation is his way of showing that the person is important enough to him that he understands what they need/want on an emotional level. It’s progressive on his part as well to step away from the ‘ME’ mentality he had before.

Physical touch is a big one that connects them (hence all the cuddling). Kat likes to touch and be touched. Marik allowing it is his way of showing his trust in her, and he enjoys wrapping his arms around her (she fits just right on his lap where he can rest his chin on her head).

31. Do they often go out on dates? What are these like?

‘Dating’ is still a new concept for Kat. She understands its purpose, but it’s something she’s never done before. Atem was Pharaoh, and they knew each other prior to that. There was no official ‘courting’, it was just Atem asking her to stand beside him and she had feelings for him so she said yes.

Marik never dated in a serious sense. All of his dates were purely casual flings or manipulation to get what he wanted (like with Remi, explained at the end of chapter 45 and continued in 46).

Chapter 85 kind of explains Kat’s side of things and continues for the next few chapters.

32. Do either of them drink? If so, who’s the lightweight, and how does their partner care for them?

Being that alcohol doesn’t affect Kat as quickly, Marik is obviously the lightweight in comparison. His first time drinking alcohol in general was with Kat (Chapter 18). He didn’t drink prior to that because he needed to keep his mind clear to control his puppets with the Rod. Kat only drinks when she isn’t concerned with the side-effect of it dampening her ability to use magic.

33. How do they flirt? Who’s the worst flirt?

They are equals in that area. They both love flirting with each other.

34. Do they have any inside jokes?

Mostly sexual innuendos when flirting.

35. Is their relationship a secret? If so, why?

Nope. Though it was a huge shock to Atem who was okay with it until he regained his memories and realized that his wife had moved on with an Ishtar (he had stolen her from an Ishtar 5,000 years prior, so the irony was not lost on him).

36. How do they feel about having kids? Are they in agreement?

It’s not something that’s been discussed, because Kat has informed Marik that she is incapable. She had to enlist the aid of her father, Anubis, to speak on her behalf to the goddess Meskhenet for Yugi and Imhotep to exist.

37. Who’s more emotionally sensitive/cries more often?

Kat all the way. Marik only cries when he’s emotionally overwhelmed.

38. Who’s got a quicker temper?

Kat has a temper to match her fiery element, and it manifests on a physical level. Something has to really hit the right nerve for Marik to fly off the handle.

39. When and how did they admit that they loved each other? If they haven’t yet, why?

Marik was the first, and he regularly says it (Chapter 44). Kat has yet to say it due to emotional trauma from Atem.

40. Do they have any regrets in their relationship?

In the relationship itself, no. Things they have done since being in the relationship, yes.

41. What would they do if they lost the other?

That may or may not get explored in future chapters…

42. What’s their relationship like with each other’s friends/families?

Fairly decent. Imhotep was an issue for a bit, but he chilled out after the events in chapter 91. Kat isn’t a fan of Ishizu…for reasons.

43. If they picked out outfits for each other, what would they look like?

This kind of already happened in chapter 79. Marik convinced Kat to dress in something more ‘fun and lighthearted’, instead of her usual all-black ‘doom and gloom’. Kat likes seeing Marik in his Battle City get-up.

44. Do they cuddle often? Why or why not?

If you read this far and don’t know the answer, I have to ask: Have you really read any of the previous answers?

45. How do they support each other? How do they rely on each others support?

Marik is able to take a lot of things Kat says and does and relate to it in his own way. By voicing those comparisons, it makes Kat feel understood and seen.

Kat does lean on Marik more in this way, but the fact that Kat doesn't judge Marik for things like how he dresses or his sexuality preferences, helps him feel less like a society outcast (considering he's still getting back on his feet from the whole Battle City fiasco).

46. Do they consider their relationship casual or serious? Is the answer different depending on who you ask? Why?

While Kat's original intention was to make Marik her casual plaything, he charmed her in an unexpected way.

Marik had no intention at all at first, but he found himself oddly drawn to Kat.

They both decided to take things seriously when they became 'official'.

47. Do they sleep beside each other? Why or why not?

Absolutely. Nothing like falling asleep cuddled up together (after having some fun).

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

Both are still recovering from their past, and it's kinda hard to bring up a future when one of them doesn't age or die. It's one of those depressing things they'd rather not explore at the moment (plus they've technically only been dating for two weeks).

49. Do they keep secrets from each other?

Unfortunately, but not because they want to. Marik is magically bound to keep the secret of Apep’s current existence (first seen in chapter 34). Kat is also bound in a way as well, in that she can’t explain the true purpose of her 3D chess table (explained a bit in chapter 60).

50. Would they ever break up? If so, why? Who would handle the breakup better?

This one is kind of hard to answer, but something may be coming in future chapters that will delve into possible break-up territory. That’s all I’m going to say on this.

And that’s all 50 questions for this pair! I am going to (regrettably) do these for longfic AU Atem and Bakura next. If you love those idiots as much as I do, keep an eye open for their version in the future. I’m hoping to have it done and posted before I go downstate for Youmacon.

[ashes-writing]

stranger things ● summer of 86 pt 2 ● e.munson

warning

eddie is oblivious to being flirted with, flirty reader / PDA / eventual filth. this is very much an attempt at 'idiots in love'. mentions of alcohol / w**d, other vices, a little angst here and there, seasons 1 through 4 obviously did not happen, barb is gay and we're here for it + internalized fear and guilt, maybe some self esteem issues and anger pent up because it wasn't fun to be 'different' in the 80's in a small town ( barb +robin because they're gay and that was frowned upon back then, + eddie bc the 'freak' thing and small towns will cling to whatever they see you as with their dying breath, trust me on it ), mentions of depression / gifted kid burnout ( reader / you ), mentions of previous bad relationships (reader/you) ...

reader/you are the oldest byers + female. reader/you also have a very specific backstory / personality / female parts. I've kept everything else vague as I can, babes. This is self-indulgent and I am not sorry at all.

word count

roughly 3k. for the context necessary, see ( part 1 ). welcome to part 2, babes.

(( are we sick of me being back on my bullshit yet? lmaooo ))

summary

– it’s the summer of 86 in Hawkins, Indiana. And all Eddie Munson has to show for himself so far is his diploma and his job as a record store clerk / manager. you’re back in town for the first time since 83, fresh off a break up and you’ve just made the life-altering decision to drop out of college. all your plans are abandoned and it’s driving you crazy. Enter Eddie Munson, a guy who lives by no plan other than whatever will make him happy in the moment.

A summer romance? Or more than that? Who knows.

(( my summaries are traaaash. look, it’s a record store employee!rocker Eddie thing, alright? Alright. Also, i decided we needed hints of mechanic!eddie and biker!eddie cos he's getting a motorcycle, babes. ))

taglist + shoutouts

-- to be added to my taglist please ( click here ) or let me know if it's not letting you add / you want me to do it. if you joined for steve/gareth other characters and do not want to be tagged, let me know.

@eddiemunsonspantschain i had to tag you in this bc i know you love him and i love you. feel free to ignore babes!

@tbmunson bestie.. babeeee.. babesss... i really hope you like this because you're my inspiration and you're amazing and also, you didn't talk me out of it, so.. oopsie?

@allelitesmut your tags and comments always leave me feeling 🥰🥺 and i cannot even begin to thank you enough. seriously. they make my day. i'm so glad you enjoy this!

@caravelofthesun

@chaoticcancer

@dylanwritesgood

@just-a-blue-nerd

@slyisbehindyou

other links

masterlist ● eddie's masterlist ● about + rules

The plain white flier catches your eye as you leave Big Buy with the groceries your mother sent you out for. You pause at the community bulletin board as your eyes dance over the bold wording.

Live music tonight. 8 pm. The Hideout. Be there… if you dare.

You laugh a little. “It’s probably some kids in Jane and Will’s grade and they’re playing Flock of Seagulls.” you muse, but then the name of the band catches your eye and you raise a brow. “Corroded Coffin? That’s.. Actually kinda clever.”

A throat clears from nearby and you look up from the paper to lock eyes with the amusement filled doe eyes of Eddie Munson, the hot record store manager. He’s chuckling. “Have just a little faith. I’ll have you know Flock of Seagulls isn’t in our setlist a single time, babe.”

And the way babe just rolls right off his tongue has you snickering quietly. But it’s also got the lovely little after effect of butterflies in your stomach. Your hand raises, catching in long and thick hair. “There isn’t, huh? I won’t hear “And I ran.” A single time?” you question as you try to stop it from happening but you can’t and you wind up stepping right up into him. You’re pretending to pout. “That’s uh.. That’s too bad. I was really looking forward to the cheese factor.”

“Whitesnake. That’s just as cheesy and I can stomach singing Slow an’ Easy.” Eddie’s trying so hard to behave himself but the way you’ve just stepped up to him really close has a lump forming in his throat. And your sweet and creamy perfume has his head spinning as it hangs heavy in the air all around. He just barely stops his hand from resting way too close to your hip but doe eyes are roaming. All over you. He’s careful about it, he looks you up and down in a way that somehow does and doesn’t make you feel like a hunter studying his prey just seconds before he moves in for the kill.

You laugh softly. “You don’t have t’ go to all that trouble.” you flash him this little grin that leaves him wondering if you’re flirting with him or just being nice and then with a little wink, you explain, “I work at the Hideout two nights a week now. So I’m gonna be there.”

His heart feels like it’ll beat right out of his chest. And he tries to keep himself calm. He tries to seem as if this doesn’t bother him one way or another but… It’s the first time in the history of ever that he’s been just a little too excited for a live gig, like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Yeah? Since when?” he’s laughing softly. He shakes his head at himself, it’s stupid, he’s probably stupid, standing here in the front of the grocery store making his most pitiful attempt to flirt but if he had one tenth of a clue what he was doing to you right now..

You’ve stepped even closer. There isn’t a sliver of space left between your bodies. When you tilt your head, your hair falls away and it exposes a deep purple patch of hair beneath the top layer of your hair. He’s staring at that deep purple patch as he rubs his chin thoughtfully, mesmerized by what’s happening.

It’s not even that hot today and he feels like the air is so heavy he can barely breathe.

You’re playing with the design emblazoned on the front of a black sleeved white raglan. You look up from doing that and laugh quietly. “Since last week? Angel, she uh.. She needed a bartender. I tended bar in Boston for a while.”

“Oh you did, huh?”

“Mhm.” you answer. Biting your bottom lip and Eddie catches himself getting way too caught up in staring at the way pearly teeth dig against plush skin.His breath hangs in his throat for a second or so when you go back to toying with one of letters on his Hellfire Club t-shirt. “Among other things.”

Eddie chuckles. “Other things, huh?”

You laugh softly and nod. “A girl’s gotta eat, Eddie.”

You’ve stepped away a little and before Eddie can stop himself, he’s the one stepping closer. “Maybe you’ll have t’ tell me about it sometime, ___.”

You’re laughing again. But there’s this pained look you get when he says it and it has him studying you intently for the next second or so. He realizes that maybe Boston wasn’t the fun time you pretend it was so he adds in a quieter tone, “If you want to.”

You nod. “Maybe so.” and you don’t want to take your hand off the front of his t-shirt but you know you have to. You should really get going.

“I hate to, but.. I need to get the groceries back to my mom.” you give him a little smile and then  you’re stepping away. Gathering your bags. By now, Wayne has walked up to Eddie and he’s heard -and observed, most of the conversation that’s taken place, so he nudges his nephew. “Don’t just stand there, kid. Didn’t I teach y’ anythin’?”

“Huh?”

“Carry out some bags, kid.” Wayne grumbles, rolling his eyes in exasperation as he gives his nephew a light smack on the back of his head and laughs. “If you’re gonna hit on her, at least do it right, kid.”

“I wasn’t.”

Wayne chuckles. He got the distinct sense that you were definitely being more than a little flirtatious with his nephew. Eddie might stand there and tell him he wasn’t doing the same right back, but.. He’s known his nephew, he’s raised his nephew long enough to know damn well that Eddie was.

Eddie gives his uncle a dirty look but he catches up to you in the parking lot, just as you’re stopping at a Pinto that definitely looked as if it’d seen better days. He taps your shoulder and waits until you turn around.

You’re laughing softly when you find yourself body to body with Eddie Munson all over again. Eddie’s brain stammers, for a second or two, he forgets what to do with himself. You’re staring up at him with your head tilted just slightly all over again. Amusement gleaming in your eyes. “Something you want, Eddie?”

“I thought I’d..” he gives up on words and gestures to the groceries left in your cart. “Help you put those in your car.”

“ Oh, so you wanted an excuse t’ talk to me, hm?” you’re teasing him gently. And you’re well aware of it, too. But you can’t resist because the heat that rises to his cheeks and the smile that tugs at kissable lips, oh wow.. You’d do anything to be the cause of those two things. Anything.

Eddie flips you off. “I can go back in, sweetheart.” and he’s laughing. Now he’s the one teasing. When you pout up at him, he chuckles all over again. “Maybe that’s exactly why I came out here. You’re not supposed t’ call me out on it though, woman.”

You laugh a little more. Toss your hair so that it settles over your shoulder. “Oh. Right. I’ll keep that in mind next time, Eddie.” you’re giving him that playful little look and his head’s spinning all over again. He just knows that the second he’s back inside the Big Buy, he’s going to spend at least five minutes collecting himself from all this.

He helps you load the remainder of the shopping bags into the back of your mom’s car and then he closes the hatch , giving the car a firm pat. Your little brother Will and your stepsister Jane wander over from the arcade nearby and Will spots Eddie, giving him a wave. “Hey! I didn’t know you and my sister knew each other!”

You laugh softly. “Wait.. Is he Eddie the Banished?”

“Yeah!”

You shift your gaze up to Eddie. “You play that game too? You’re just full of surprises aren’t you, Eddie Munson?” and you step up to him again because Will and Jane, after a little whispering, have walked away with the empty shopping cart to place it in a cart return nearby.  “Your brother is a damn good dungeon master.”

“Yeah, he’s always been really creative.” you’re laughing softly. “I made his costumes though.”

“Oh you did, huh?”

“Home Economics in 9th grade?” you laugh and he does too.

Will nudges Jane, nodding to where you and Eddie stand. “She’s flirting with him. She didn’t do that before. Like.. you remember? She barely talked to anybody.”

Jane laughs softly. “So maybe Boston was a good thing.”

“Or maybe my sister’s been replaced by a pod person.” Will’s joking, he laughs quietly. “In all seriousness.. I’m glad she’s letting everybody else see the side of her she always showed me and Jonathan.”

Jane nods. “Me too. I think she likes him. Max told me..” she trails off and Will clears his throat. “Max told you what?”

“That whenever we.. Girls I mean.. Whenever we want to flirt, we tend to get touchier. And she’s got her hand on his arm right now, see?” Jane nods to the way your hand rests against Eddie Munson’s bicep as you throw your head back to laugh at something he’s said.

They finally make their way back over to your mother’s car and you give Eddie another little smile and laugh. “I’ll see you tonight, Eddie.”

“You know where I’ll be, ___. Maybe after the gig.. Maybe I can buy you a drink.”

“If it’s soda.” you laugh and smile, giving him another bold little wink as you nod to the car. “Alright you two. Let’s get the groceries home, yeah?”

“Hey. Mike’s mom is for sure doing the Hellfire night thing. It’s gonna be on Saturday though. Not Saturday night. And it’ll probably be at the park.” Will tells Eddie before he ducks into the shotgun seat of his mother’s car.

Eddie watches you drive away and he’s joined by Wayne who takes one look at his nephews face and starts to laugh so hard he’s immediately doubling over. “Who is that, kid?”

“ ___ Byers. She uh.. She went to Hawkins High too. Graduated the year I was supposed to the first time, actually.” Eddie answers, giving a little shrug. Wayne chuckles. “Hopper’s stepdaughter, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Hopper’s an alright guy. I think I’ve seen her around a few times, too.” Wayne shrugs. And then, mostly to get a rise out of his nephew, he smirks at him. “So.. when’s the wedding, kid?”

“Shut up.” Eddie laughs and shakes his head. “Girls like that don’t date guys like me. I’m still trying to figure out how the hell she’s still talking to me in light of… y’know.” he goes quiet and Wayne sighs, nodding. “People are assholes, kid. But not all of ‘em. Maybe you met somebody who doesn’t hold with what everybody else thinks, huh?”

“Or maybe she just doesn’t know yet, man. We need t’ get goin. I’m fillin in for that prick Hargrove down at the garage this afternoon. Idiot called in with a hangover.” Eddie rolls his eyes and laughs. “Kinda knew it was coming though.”

Wayne chuckles. “Yeah, let’s get you down to the garage, kid.” and as they pull the van out of the Big Buy parking lot, Wayne speaks up. “I don’t do mushy shit.. But I’m.. I’m proud of you, kid. You’re not only the first Munson to finally graduate.. But you’re provin’ to me you’re gonna be okay at this adult shit so far.”

Eddie smiles and laughs. “You don’t do mushy, you’re right.” and as the laughter dies away, he speaks up. “I uh.. Thank you. For everything, man. Because you didn’t have t’ take me in when Al got sent up.”

“I wasn’t gonna let you end up with strangers, kid. You’re my brother’s kid. You’re family.”

Eddie smiles to himself even more. 

“How much longer until you pick up that motorcycle you’ve been eyeing, kid? Still say there’s no harm in getting a safe vehicle.” Wayne mentions and Eddie laughs. “I’m getting the motorcycle.”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying, right?” Wayne chuckles. 

Eddie thinks it over. “Next weekend, I think.” he’s grinning at the thought of owning a motorcycle, the second of his little list of dream purchases. “I go pick her up next weekend.”

“I’ll warn everybody.” Wayne jokes. Eddie flips him off and gets out of the van, disappearing into the garage’s back exit.

Wayne chuckles to himself, shaking his head. “He’s a good kid.”

–

The bar is packed wall to wall when you burst in, yelling at Gin behind the bar that your mom’s car tried to burst into flames on you on the way over. Angel is laughing and shaking her head as she tosses you your apron. “You haven’t just broke down and gotten your own wheels yet?”

“Not until I don’t have two grand hanging over my head. But I’ve been looking, trust me. I’ve got my eyes on this sexy little red Trans Am?”

Angel’s laughing even harder.

“What? It’ll match the only shade of lipstick I wear.” you shrug it off. And you wander down to the end of the bar. Some of the guys who work the afternoon shift at the factory are sitting there, watching a game of pool in the back room.

“What can I get ya?”

Wayne chuckles as he looks up and sees you. “Soda. Waitin around t’ drive somebody home.” he nods his head towards the front of the bar and you glance over. You can see Eddie's band setting up and you find yourself staring at Eddie. And maybe it's a little too long that you stare, but you honestly don't care. He's almost devastatingly beautiful, you simply can't just.. resist a few stolen looks.

You go to grab the group of men a round of sodas and bring them back, setting them down on top of the bar. 

Up front, Corroded Coffin is getting ready to start their set. You’re drumming your fingers against the hardwood surface and humming along. Angel’s talking to one of the regulars at the opposite end of the bar.

And then a stockier guy with a blond mullet and piercing blue eyes wanders over and you laugh to yourself because he’s nothing if not bold. He locks eyes with you and he gives you this little smirk. “Get ya anything?” you ask as you wipe down the top of the bar.

“Tequila shot?” Billy Hargrove asks. Studying you intently. Because you look familiar.

You look up at him and laugh. “Yeah, I’m gonna need to see some id.”

“No problem.” Billy pulls out his license and shows it to you. “Now your turn.. Because there is no way you’re old enough to be working back there.”

“I just turned 21 actually.” you pop a bubble with your gum. The fact that he’s hitting on you isn’t lost on you, you’re just.. Deliberately ignoring it because looking at his ID reminded you that yes.. You do know him. And apparently, he hasn’t changed at all in two years.

He still wears his stupid cologne strong enough to strangle someone with it’s essence. He still thinks he’s the hottest shit in this town. He still thinks girls are supposed to just throw their panties at him and you read him like a book not even a second after he sat down on the stool in front of you.

He’s staring at your self cropped Metallica concert shirt. “You’ve seen ‘em?”

Billy Hargrove is more than a little shocked. He never would’ve taken you as a metal fan back in high school.

If anything, you were the kind of girl he’d have assumed listened to oldies.. Classical or some shit.

You laugh and nod. “Seen ‘em? I was up right in the front row. I could’ve caught Lars’ drumstick.”

Billy chuckles. You pass him his tequila shot and he slams it down. Watching you again. You walk away. Wandering over to the makeshift stage set up in the front of the bar because the bathrooms are close.

As you place a hand on the doorknob to the bathroom, you lock eyes with Eddie.

Eddie chuckles, nodding to your shirt. “Nice shirt.” he mouths and you give him a thumbs up before disappearing into the bathroom.

As you’re washing your hands after you’ve used it, you gape when you hear Eddie announce that he’s gonna play a newer song tonight. One he only just learned in March. When he starts to play the opening to Master of Puppets, you’re gaping.

“Holy.. Okay, he’s amazing.” you mumble, mostly to yourself. You wind up making your way out of the bathroom and finding a seat. Dragging it closer to the front. As you watch lithe fingers make the guitar in his hands come to life, you can’t help but think of the old saying..

Guitarists are notorious for being good with their hands. And you’re really trying not to but.. As you sit and watch Eddie Munson play Master of Puppets, you can’t help but wonder to yourself just how true that really is.

[purple-babygirl]

yours to hurt, yours to love

Pairing: (dom)!Bucky Barnes x (sub)!f!reader

Word count: 8,050

Summary: They had a deal. She would surrender her control; he would take it. Love had no place in such a relationship, did it?

Warnings: 18+ Content: friends with benefits, blowjobs, lots of cum, cum eating, cum in pussy, unprotected vaginal intercourse (don't do that), mentions of cheating, angst, crying, dom x sub dynamics including a sir kink and the use of puppy as a petname, BDSM features including begging, following orders/instructions, mentions of ropes, being tied/suspended, mentions of edging and overstimulation and the use of toys, ass whipping with a belt, mention and use of a safeword, chocking, two insecure idiots being in love, metal arm kink, fingering, rubbing of cock on pussy, multiple orgasms, aftercare. Let me know if I missed anything.

A/N: this is a self-indulgent fic I wrote simply because I wanted to read and now it's finally done so I'm sharing it with you, babies:"💜💜 I just started at a new job and it's very tiring and energy and time consuming so I thought I'd post something before I get swept up in the real world of numbers and targets and not being broke. I really hope you like this one and I love you all with every bit of me💜

~

As most one-night stands start, they had met at a bar.

She was sitting all alone with her palm hugging a beer bottle, her face carrying the saddest look. She had turned down every guy that had tried to approach her that evening.

Bucky had been watching her all night, lost in deep thought as she barely raised the warming bottle to her lips, the melancholic look marring her features never leaving.

She had only smiled once that night, and it was for Bucky.

She was snapped out of thought when a louder song abruptly came on, startling her back to reality and that was when she saw him.

The most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on had his eyes on her from the other side of the crowded nightclub, and she found herself smiling at him.

He quickly turned his gaze away, suddenly shy that he was staring.

She wanted to ignore the man, telling herself she had a lot on her plate already, that it would likely be a mistake to go talk to him; that she needed to keep her distance from men for a while at least. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t ignore him.

Even with his back to her, his presence was too strong to simply be ignored.

So she disregarded her minds’ screams and went to talk to him.

Bucky almost chocked on his drink when he saw that it was her who had approached him, but he managed to compose himself.

“Were you ever planning on talking to me?” She teased with a smile as she sat down next to him at the bar.

And just like that, they were talking.

They talked about anything and everything, the deepest things as well as the silliest.

She was so easy to be around and she actually made the man laugh.

She had no idea, but Bucky didn’t think he had even cracked a smile in weeks.

Before she could decide what was right and what wasn’t, she had her lips on his, and before he could overthink it, Bucky was taking her back to his place.

It has been a long time since the man had had the chance to like someone, and he liked her even more when she didn’t make him feel bad about himself that night.

The metal arm didn’t faze her.

She didn’t ask intrusive questions or even let her gaze linger. She treated it just like his other arm, wrapping both around her back as she straddled Bucky on his couch, making out with him like she has been waiting for him her whole life.

But that wasn’t the only reason Bucky appreciated her so much that night.

She had gotten on her knees for him, both of them fully naked at that point, her boobs swaying lightly as her hand pumped his hard cock, lubing him up with his pre-cum.

Her hands were magic and he didn’t want to tell her that he was too close to exploding just from her soft hand palming his tip.

She had barely gotten Bucky in her mouth when he had started cumming all over her.

The sight of his fists clutching the couch, mouth open as groans left his chest while copious amounts of cum covered her mouth, chin, neck and boobs had her wetness dripping down her bare thighs.

When he was back on earth again and his vision was no longer black, Bucky started apologizing profusely when he realized what had happened.

He had come way too fast. All over her. Without her getting to finish even once. He didn’t even get to touch her down there.

Bucky thought she was definitely going to leave.

“It’s okay,” she said with a kind smile as her clean hand caressed up and down one of his thighs, “I don’t mind.”

And before Bucky could explain that it has been a long time for him, she was collecting his cum off her skin with her fingers and slipping them into her mouth, maintaining eye contact with the man and almost giving his old heart an attack.

Bucky stared with parted lips, cock already hardening again, as she shut her eyes and moaned over the taste of him.

She had managed to eat every bit of cum that had gotten on her face and neck before Bucky unfroze and lost it.

He grabbed his shirt and hastily wiped her chest clean of his cum before eagerly carrying her to his bed.

He thought her surprised giggle as she called him a “caveman” had to be the sweetest sound he had ever heard until he pushed his cock in her and her wail of his name echoed throughout the quiet bedroom.

Bucky was hooked on the sight of her, the taste of her, the smell of her, and the feel of her.

Her walls were hugging his cock so tight that he thought he wouldn’t be able to get the rest of it inside. Her hands were scratching at his back as she tried to adjust to his size with a silent scream on her face.

“Relax,” Bucky had told her softly.

It was a simple word, but it was the most exhilarating thing when she had immediately listened, her pussy muscles relaxing for him at once, thighs spreading wider to accommodate him better.

Bucky was amazed by her ability to listen to instructions; it awakened an unmatched feeling inside of him.

Once he was buried to the hilt inside of her, Bucky wanted to see what else he could make her do; how much she might obey, so he stayed still.

“I’m ready, you can move.” She had nodded to him, thinking he was waiting on her.

But that wasn’t why Bucky wasn’t moving. He knew she was ready, her juices were ruining his sheets for heaven’s sake.

“I mean, if you ask nicely enough…”

He was just giving it a try, and if she didn’t go along with it he would still give her what she wanted—

“Please,” she begged, eyes pleading as she wiggled her hips, “please fuck me, Bucky.”

Fuck.

Bucky couldn’t think much after that, his body moving of its own volition as he pulled out and slammed back inside her pussy.

It was one thrust. One single thrust had her arching her back and shouting out his name.

He completely broke down, fucking her with abandon, just wanting to hear more of her; feel deeper inside of her.

The bedpost slammed against the wall repeatedly as she screamed with every hit of Bucky’s cock to her g-spot.

The way she was scratching his back, whining, wailing and writhing under him as he pounded her into his bed should’ve and could’ve been enough for Bucky, but he couldn’t help but want more.

“Open your eyes,” he gave her another command, knowing it might be hard for her to manage that one with how deep he was giving it to her.

But her eyes were instantly on him, fighting to stay open as his fat cock filled her up again and again.

“Keep looking at me,” Bucky had told her, his right hand coming up to wrap around her neck.

He was slow and gentle, just waiting for her to stop him or refuse what he was doing.

But she had managed to surprise him again because instead, her hand had come up to his, fully wrapping his palm around her throat before showing Bucky the right amount of pressure to apply.

Fuck, she had to be an angel sent specifically to him from heaven. It seemed like whatever god was up there had finally had mercy on him.

She wasn’t only okay with Bucky’s hand being on her neck, she was showing him how to choke her as his cock fucked her raw within an inch of her life too.

Bucky felt his thrusts stutter as he almost came at the sight of her: mouth open with nothing but his name coming out of it, throat held in his palm and eyes battling to stay open as they rolled back in her head, her pussy chocking his cock.

And when he thought she couldn’t get anymore perfect, she started screaming out a request, “can I please cum? Please, Bucky!”

She was asking his permission to let herself feel the pleasure he was so willingly giving her.

Bucky felt high as he groaned, “cum”, and watched her hand hastily come down to rub her clit once, twice before she fell apart around his cock.

Her thighs involuntarily clasped around Bucky as they shook with the rest of her body, her orgasm hitting her like a thousand trains, making her back bow.

Bucky’s hand tightened around her throat the slightest bit as he felt her pussy shutter around his cock and felt himself get closer to his own release, thrusts becoming erratic.

“Please cum inside me, Bucky. Fill me up with your cum, need it,” she pled and the man could only take so much.

Bucky came and he came hard, proving the cum he had painted her body with earlier to be just a sample of what his cock really had to offer.

When they could both breathe normally again, she found herself in his arms, pitching him an idea, too satisfied and full of cum to stop herself and rethink.

And to her happiness, Bucky actually agreed.

~

When they first started that type of deal, she said she didn’t want a relationship.

Bucky respected that and he was okay with it because although he liked her very much, he knew he wasn’t the relationship type himself. He didn’t believe himself fit for romantic relationships. He thought he was too messed up for such stuff.

And she was just like him.

She didn’t know how to be loved; didn’t know how to receive love. She didn’t think she deserved it. She didn’t think she was worth it. Never thought of herself as beautiful enough or attractive enough or lovable enough.

So the dynamic they came up with was their best option.

They were going to be friends with benefits. Except, the benefits were much more extreme than the usual, vanilla sex that would come to mind. So friends with benefits with a fun twist.

After being manipulated for so long, Bucky wanted nothing but to be in charge of his life, body and mind; to be in a position of power where he had the upper hand.

She, on the other hand, needed her freewill to be taken away from her. Being as responsible as she was in her everyday life, she would get too exhausted; drained. She wanted decisions to be made for her as she only obeyed and conformed. She wanted to be used until her head held no thoughts of her deadlines or tasks.

She wanted choking and spanking and bondage. She wanted domination.

Bucky needed to feel in control, and she needed to give up control.

Take mine, she said, take my control away and make it yours.

It was a perfect match. They had clearly communicated their boundaries, wants and needs. They had established their roles, likes and dislikes. And they had agreed on a few simple rules:

It was strictly sex; only sex.

No kissing on the lips no matter what.

No cuddling afterwards even if aftercare took place.

No strings attached.

The safe word meant they stopped; no questions asked.

Bucky wasn’t exactly on board with number 2 because he knew what her lips felt like on his and he wanted more of that. But she said it would only complicate things; that it might get feelings involved and they couldn’t have that.

So he agreed. He really just wanted her to be as comfortable as possible.

And they had almost done it all in 6 months. She had let Bucky tie her down, spank her, choke her, use toys on her, edge her, overstimulate her, fuck her in every position known to humans and on every service that could take their weight and Bucky’s pace.

But deep down, Bucky knew that she still needed more even if she had claimed otherwise.

He knew that she was frequently going on dates in between their sessions, desperately searching for the one that would manage to sweep her off her feet and magically change the way she looked at herself with his unconditional love.

So when she sat with him that one day and told him she wanted to stop what they were doing because she wanted to commit to her new boyfriend, Bucky wasn’t surprised. He was heartbroken, but not surprised.

And so he let her go.

He didn’t want to. He never wanted to. But Bucky knew that he couldn’t give her what she wanted, and so he was going to let her have it with someone else. He needed her like the air he breathed, but he couldn’t bring himself to stand in her way.

Bucky was addicted to her, yes, but he wasn’t going to be selfish and get in the way of her possible happiness with that new boyfriend whoever he was. He just hoped that that new man deserved her.

~

The real surprise came when Bucky opened his door one day and she was standing there looking like an abandoned puppy three months after their last meeting.

Three months without her that have been torture. Three months during which Bucky couldn’t bear the mere idea of bringing another woman to his bed. Three months of replaying their intense scenes in his head with his hand down his pants.

Oh how he missed seeing her choke on his cock. He missed her begging for him to touch her, to relieve her heavy shoulders of everything they had to carry. He missed seeing her come for him so hard that tears would start rolling down her face.

But now she was here, and she didn’t look okay. And it made Bucky realize that he has mostly missed her being her.

“I need you, Buck,” she whispered and he instantly opened the door wider for her.

Bucky let her inside and she climbed on his lap the second he sat down. He held her in his arms on his couch for as long as she needed, internally aching to know what had gotten her looking so dejected.

He knew it had to do with the new man in her life and he could only calm himself down by imagining his fist slamming against the faceless man’s nose.

“What did he do?” Bucky finally broke the silence, making her pull her face from his neck and look at him.

God, she looked so hurt, so broken.

He wished he could fix it, but how could he when he himself needed fixing?

“If I ask you for a favor, would you do it for me?” Her faint voice asked instead, pulling away from their hug.

“You know I will,” Bucky replied without reluctance.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He would do anything for her. He would kill again for her, burn down whole cities and cross oceans on his bare feet for her if she asked him to.

She got up from Bucky’s lap, getting down on her knees before the couch just like the first night he had brought her home, “I want you to punish me, Bucky.”

“What?”

Where did that come from? She wanted to start a session? Now? In that state?

“I want you to spank me. Punish me.” She repeated calmly.

“Doll, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Bucky tried to remind her, wanting her to know that whatever that man did to ruin his relationship with her wasn’t her fault.

And he wasn’t seriously about to give her a spanking when she looked like that, so small and worn out and wounded.

“Please, Bucky.”

Damn, she begged so sweetly. But he just couldn’t.

Bucky never thought he would say no to a scene with her, especially a passionate one, but he couldn’t hurt her even more than she looked to be hurting.

That was not what they did this for.

“Doll, get up. Sit down and talk to me,” Bucky said softly, trying to lift her up by the shoulders.

“Buck, you said you’d do it.” A sad frown settled upon her delicate face with a look that Bucky knew well.

She was getting more heartbroken at his rejection. She really did want this. She needed it and she could only come to Bucky for it. How could he keep turning her down?

“Okay, doll. How many?” Bucky asked despite himself, rubbing his palms together.

“Not with your hands,” she said with a smile, getting up and walking inside the bedroom to his closet.

Bucky carded a hand through his long hair as he waited for her to come back with whatever item she was choosing, knowing this was going to be the hardest time he has ever had to cause her pain, even if it was pain she wanted and asked for.

“With this.” She left the belt she brought on Bucky’s lap as she got back to her place by his feet.

“Doll, this is the thickest belt I own,” Bucky told her, wanting to intimidate her into changing her mind.

He needed her to change her mind. He couldn’t hit her with that thing. Not today. Probably not ever.

“I know.” She nodded with the same sure smile.

“Doll, why?” Bucky touched her cheek tenderly, desperate to understand.

If she would just talk to him, he would do his best to fix it. He probably couldn’t, but he was ready to try.

“Please, Bucky. For me, I need this.” She, again, avoided answering his questions.

“This is gonna hurt, doll,” Bucky warned, examining the belt in his lap.

Damn, it was heavy.

“I know. That’s the point.” She nodded in acceptance, “I need it to hurt.”

“Doll.”

“C’mon, Buck, we’ve done this before. You’ve had me dangling from your ceiling for god’s sake!”

He remembered that day. It was a week after she had gotten promoted and everything was becoming too much for her.

She had Bucky suspend her upside down from his ceiling as he spanked her rear raw before getting her down and fucking her into oblivion until all she could worry about was if she would be able to take another orgasm.

She looked even sadder today, and she was asking for far less.

Maybe he could give her what she wanted.

“How many?” Bucky asked again with a clenched jaw, seeing that there was no way he was going to change her mind.

“As many as it takes for me to cry,” she replied and her answer sent a pang into Bucky’s chest.

So that was it. She needed to cry and she couldn’t. She just needed to cry; to give release to her pent-up tears.

Bucky knew that crying was something that she struggled with. He knew that one of the things she loved about what they did was the fact that she could cry during it all; during a spanking, an edging or even an intense orgasm.

But couldn’t it be done any other way this time? Maybe he could make her watch a sad movie or something?

“Doll, if it’s about you crying—”

“Bucky, please,” she stopped him, shaking her head with determination, “please give me this. I need it.”

If she could, she would have cried to get him to say yes faster.

Bucky sighed, glancing at her one final time before asking, “do you remember your safe word?”

“Red.” She smiled gratefully, adrenaline already pumping through her blood in anticipation.

Bucky slipped the hairband on his wrist down to his fingers, pulling his hair in a low bun before taking his shirt off, leaving himself in his white tank top.

Keeping his eyes on hers, he ordered: “strip and get on the bed, puppy. You know your position.”

“Thank you, Bucky.” She jumped up, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“What was that?” Bucky’s tone was deeper and his eyes darker.

It has started.

“Thank you, sir,” she quickly corrected herself.

“Go.”

One nod of his head and she was running to the bedroom to do as she was told.

As she took her clothes off, folding them piece by piece and leaving them on the chair in the corner of Bucky’s bedroom, he was outside readying himself for what he was about to do to her.

Bucky had pledged months ago that he would give her anything she needed or wanted during their sessions.

Leaving her fulfilled made him feel fulfilled and the first time he had his bare cock in her, Bucky knew he was wrapped around her littlest finger. It seemed like he was the one in control of those meet ups but control was actually always in her hands.

Now, if what she needed was a spanking to make her cry, Bucky knew how to give it to her, but he didn’t want to. He knew this belt was going to hurt a lot and he wished she would’ve chosen something less bad.

But a deal was a deal and he couldn’t back out now that he knew she was waiting naked on his bed.

She heard Bucky’s heavy steps coming closer and tried to regulate her breathing, reminding herself that she wanted this, that she begged for this, that she deserved this.

She trusted Bucky with her life, not just her body. She knew he was going to stop the minute she said her safe word and that made her a little calmer.

“You ready, puppy?” Bucky asked, gliding the tip of the belt across her bare ass from one cheek to the other.

She shivered, fixing her gaze on Bucky’s bedpost as she whispered, “yes, sir.”

And just like that came the first spank.

But it didn’t hurt, not like she had expected, not at all.

Bucky was going easy on her; too easy.

She didn’t like it.

“Harder, please,” she begged, lowering her head and sticking her ass out.

“Doll—”

“Bucky, please, you promised,” she pled, her voice thick with frustration at her inability to get what she needed from the one person who could give it to her.

Another spank came, a little stronger than the first, but still not enough.

“Did your arm get rusty in those three months?” She threw angrily, raising her eyes to glare at Bucky, “hit me like a man!”

Bucky knew she was just trying to rile him up, make him angry enough so that he would actually hurt her and even though he didn’t want to, he decided he would finally give her what she came for.

“Fine,” Bucky growled, pushing her face into his pillows by the hair and she immediately gave him a full view of her lower half, ass in the air and thighs spread.

He wasn’t going to be able to look at her face as he hurt her this time.

Bucky took a deep breath before finally giving her a real whip and she gasped at the force of it, “is that what you wanted, puppy?”

“Getting close,” she moaned, her words muffled into the pillows as she wiggled her ass for him.

Another similar spank hit her and then another and another until suddenly her body was getting hotter and her butt sorer.

She needed more. Just a little more to break the dam and get suffocating thoughts and burning tears out.

“More, please, sir,” she begged, voice so desperate that it had Bucky swallowing.

He gave an experimental whip on her thighs and she let out a startled scream.

“What’s your color?” Bucky asked at once, hesitant that he might have actually hurt her.

“Green.” Came her reply as she looked up to Bucky, “green, sir, please.”

She was begging for more of this.

Bucky recomposed himself and spanked her thighs with the belt again and she wailed out a “yes, thank you, sir!”, urging him on.

For the first time ever, however, Bucky was not enjoying this. He was not enjoying causing her pain and he was not enjoying knowing that he was supposed to make her cry by the end of it all.

His whips got faster and harder as his thoughts ran wild with worry, just wanting to get this over with as her moans and cries egged him on.

“Color?”

“Green!” She would answer every time he checked in with her.

Pictures of her boyfriend in bed with another woman flashed throw her mind and she stuck her ass out more, hiding her ashamed face in Bucky’s pillows. He let her touch him the way only she was supposed to touch him. He made her shout out in pleasure the way she never did with him. He made her scream his name; the name that was supposed to only roll off her tongue during intimate times.

Her mind kept replaying it all, making her squirm and stick her butt out further. She wanted it all to stop.

She needed this. She deserved this. She was stupid.

“Thank you, sir,” she muttered, a lump finally forming in her throat.

It seemed like whatever had happened this time, had been so bad that the normal amount of whips weren’t enough to get her mind off of it. She was still her, well out of sub space and still very much aware of the ache in her heart.

She needed that ache to move somewhere else, preferably to her ass.

“More, sir, please.”

Bucky’s shoulder started to slightly ache as he kept whipping her, again and again, just wanting it to be over so he could comfort her after as he heard her sniffles, and finally, with a particularly harsh spank on her lower thighs she screamed out, “red!”.

Bucky’s arm stopped immediately, dropping the belt on the floor as he listened as her soft cries get louder.

She burrowed her face in his pillow and let it all out, sobs wracking her entire body as she cried her bleeding heart out.

“Doll,” he whispered, regret filling him at the sight of her body trembling with each wail she let out of her chest.

He looked at her lower body and her ass and thighs were a crime scene, her skin painted in angry red welts all over.

“Please, leave me alone, Buck,” she wept, her face still hidden in his pillow.

“Let me take care of you, doll—”

“No, no. Just leave me,” she pleaded without turning to him.

“At least let me put something on your skin—”

“Please just leave me alone. Please, Bucky,” she sobbed harder, her fingers clutching the side of the pillow as she let her tears flow.

Bucky reluctantly left the room, giving her the space she asked for as guilt ate away at his heart.

He shouldn’t have listened to her. He shouldn’t have done that to her.

It was only when he sat down on the couch outside that he had realized how hard he had actually whipped her. His right shoulder ached, a few strands of his hair were out of place and sweat had forced by his hairline. All the realization did was make him feel more terrible about himself.

He knew he has done it before so many times, but this time was different.

She came to him hurt emotionally and instead of helping her feel better, he ended up hurting her physically too.

She did ask for it, but he could have said no. He could’ve insisted on not doing it.

The sound of her cries seemed never-ending and was absolutely heart-wrenching to listen to. Bucky could all but cover his ears to prevent it from reaching him as he beat himself up for causing it all again and again.

She winced as she sat up on the messy bed, hand on her naked chest as she tried to calm herself down, still hiccupping while her cries slowed down.

God, she had needed this so bad. She had needed it for days and she was so grateful for Bucky for giving it to her.

Being able to cry and let everything out was a blessing that people didn’t appreciate enough; one she was kind of deprived of and had to do a lot to get to enjoy.

When her heartbeat was somewhat slower and her tears have ceased, she slowly pulled herself down the bed and on her wobbly feet.

She looked out to the living room from the bedroom door to see Bucky back on the couch, leaning forward with his head in his hands and she knew he was blaming himself.

So she wiped her tears as much as she could and went back inside. She opened the drawer she knew too well and pulled out the Calendula cream Bucky had bought specifically for her.

She carefully walked to Bucky. She didn’t want him to feel guilty so she made sure not to wince as she took her steps.

She had wanted this. She had asked for it because she had needed it and he only helped her. She wasn’t going to let him berate himself for that.

She left the cream on the coffee table and gently removed Bucky’s hands from his face, guiding him to rest his back on the couch so she could sit herself back across his lap.

Bucky stopped her, standing up to take his pants off so that the material wouldn’t rub against her sensitive skin.

She smiled, her heart lurching at his gentleness and thoughtfulness.

He let her manipulate him into position, closely watching her red-rimmed eyes and swollen nose and lips as she made herself as comfortable as possible on his lap, the new lashes covering her behind out of his sight for now.

Bucky hugged her close, his hands stroking up and down her bare back as she pushed her nose in its place in the crook of his neck, “thank you.” She breathed gratefully.

Bucky only patted her back, pulling her closer in reply. He knew she meant her thanks, but he was still mad at himself for doing it.

She pulled back and let him take her in for a second before leaning in, making Bucky swallow.

“Now fuck me,” she whispered on his lips, grinding down on his covered cock despite the pain it gave her every time she rubbed her inflamed skin on Bucky’s boxers.

“Doll, I think you’ve had enough for today,” Bucky sighed, softly trying to get her off of him.

“Please, just once. I won’t ask for anything else.” She pleaded, her hands clutching the material of Bucky’s tank top, not wanting to leave his lap.

She didn’t want to be away from him. She just got here.

“Doll, give me the cream so I can take care of you,” he demanded, trying to maintain a stern tone so she would listen.

“You can take care of me this way too!” She whined, needy and desperate as she ground herself harder, smiling when she found him hard beneath her.

“I can’t, doll. I can’t. You’re hurt.” Bucky shook his head, gently pushing her to the side and getting up before she could straddle him again.

“Please, Buck,” she croaked out, on the verge of crying again as she grabbed onto his waist, “please don’t walk away.”

“Do you promise not to try anything if I sit back down?” He asked although he knew the answer.

“But I need you!” Anguished tears rolled down her flushed cheeks, “just one orgasm. Please, just one.”

Her constant begging was making Bucky’s cock leak inside his briefs, hard as a rock as he tried his best not to give in.

He had missed her so damn much, but this wasn’t right.

“Doll, come on, quit it. You’re hurt—”

“I haven’t cum in three months.” She cut him off, sniffling as more tears left her eyes, “he— he couldn’t— please.” She begged yet again, her hands cravingly clawing at Bucky’s tank top, wanting him to be close again.

“What?!” Bucky sat back down, wiping her tears away as he took her back into his arms.

She nodded in shame as she cast her eyes down, burrowing her face in his shoulder, “he couldn’t make me cum”.

“Not even with his mouth?”

“Especially not with his mouth,” she muttered, hating the memory of a different man touching her.

“And you didn’t get yourself off?”

She shook her head, still embarrassed as she hid from him.

“Why not?!”

“Couldn’t touch myself without your permission.” She looked up to him, her teary eyes sincere.

Bucky let himself just look at her for a beat longer.

She was with another man that she supposedly wanted to be committed to, but she still followed Bucky’s rules during that relationship.

“I can make you cum, doll,” Bucky said, his gaze darkening, “but I have one condition.”

“Anything,” she whispered, desperate for his touch, his lips, his cock.

She had missed Bucky beyond compare.

“Allow me to break a rule.”

“What—”

“I need to kiss you, baby.”

She smiled, her heart relieved despite its fluttering as she answered by pressing her lips to Bucky’s.

He laid her on her back on his couch, careful not to rub himself against her lower region as he devoured her lips. Bucky sighed on her lips, the first taste always the best.

He hasn’t tasted those lips in nine months, since their very first time together. He remembered them tasting of beer back then, but today it was chocolate lacing her tongue.

It was Bucky’s turn to be desperate as he ate up her whimpers, his tongue dancing with hers as he deepened the kiss. He wanted to gobble her up, get as close to her as possible, taste every inch and swallow every whine.

He realized he couldn’t get as close as he wanted without his boxers scratching the welts on her sore skin.

Bucky pulled away for a second, leaving her to chase his mouth as he chuckled.

She whined, making grabby hands at him.

When he was done taking his boxers off, he got back on top of her, tenderly pushing her legs to her chest to keep them from bumping against the couch before slotting himself between her open legs as his mouth found its way back to hers.

“I can’t believe I let you take this away from me for so long,” he groaned, biting down on her lower lip.

She moaned in reply, pushing her hips up so she could get his cock to stroke against her.

She couldn’t believe she had deprived herself of those kisses either because she knew that she had fallen for the man anyways.

One swipe had Bucky hissing as he felt how wet she was under him. He has needed her for so long, not letting himself find any kind of relief with another woman in her absence.

“Do you want my fingers, doll?”

“No, no, gimme your cock, Bucky, please,” she pleaded, squirming on her back on the couch, pushing her hips up.

“I can’t do that, baby. You know it. It would be too much,” he sighed, his thumb stroking her cheek.

“Bucky, please. I can take it. I’ve taken worse!”

“I can’t. I can’t hurt you anymore, doll.” Bucky admitted, his hand sliding her hair behind her ear.

“Bucky,” she whined and his eyes gave her a firm look, making her shut up at once.

“It’s either my fingers or you get nothing, puppy. What do you want?”

“Your fingers, sir,” she replied obediently, pulling her legs further against her chest to give him all the access he would need.

“That’s a good puppy.” Bucky smiled, thumb circling her swollen clit.

“Please,” she breathed, already throwing her head back at the simple touch.

Bucky chuckled, though he was internally fuming at the fact that she was with a ‘man’ who didn’t make her cum for three whole months, “ready for the first one, puppy?”

“Yes, sir.” She nodded quickly.

Bucky carefully slipped two of his metal fingers inside of her dripping cunt, groaning at the tightness he has missed so much, “I know this hand’s your favorite”.

“I thought you said one!” She moaned in surprise, pushing down on his fingers still.

“I meant first orgasm, puppy,” Bucky laughed, scissoring his fingers inside of her, opening her up exactly like he knew she liked.

And when he curled his fingers just right? She was wailing out the yes’s and thank you’s like it was the last time she would ever get fingered in her life.

“Fuck, baby, squeezing my fingers so hard already,” Bucky groaned, the tips of his vibranium fingers nudging her sweet spot with every indulging thrust, massaging and abusing until he saw her thighs quiver with her first orgasm.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she squealed as Bucky let her come down from her high, fingers slowing down their movements without leaving her leaking pussy.

“Thank me when we’re done, doll.” He smirked, twisting his fingers inside of her.

Bucky got them out for a second only to slip back three fingers instead of two, feeling her cunt hungrily swallow them as she cried out at the delicious stretch.

He bit his lip, shaking his head as he got to business, “fuck, I’ve missed you so much”.

~

“How we feeling, puppy?” Bucky asked her as he saw her legs tense again.

“So good, so so good, sir. Thank you,” she sobbed in pleasure, feeling her thighs shake for the fifth time that afternoon.

“You’re such a good puppy, cumming so hard for me,” Bucky groaned, feeling the pull of her pussy as he tried to take his fingers out, moving them on her clit instead, “keep cumming baby”.

“I can’t take anymore. Please, I can’t.” She shook her head as she tried to squirm away from Bucky’s skilled fingers.

“Okay, okay,” Bucky chuckled, raising one hand up in surrender as his other went into his mouth.

She was gasping for air as she let her legs go, grimacing when her ass touched the couch. She raised her thighs back up, opening them when Bucky hovered over her body for another kiss.

His cock swiped against her sensitive pussy, making her clench when she felt how hard he was. Bucky was so hard it must be getting painful by now.

“Bucky, I can do one more,” she said against his lips.

“Oh you getting greedy on me, puppy?” Bucky smiled, instantly complying as he brought his hand down between their bodies.

She shivered at the mere tracing of his fingers on her pussy lips, “not with your fingers.”

“Come on now, baby, I thought we’ve already talked about this,” Bucky said, ready to pull away from her body.

“You don’t have to put it inside.” She held onto his waist with all her might, “just rub it on me. I can take that.”

“Baby,” Bucky hesitated, his resolve getting weaker as he imagined the feeling of her silky, drenched pussy under his cock.

“Please, Bucky, just rub it on my pussy. Use me. Make yourself cum.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Bucky whispered, getting hold of his cock.

He swiped the tip between the lips of her cunt, moaning lewdly at the feeling he had missed for months.

She was so wet, so sensitive and so soft.

Bucky was never one to cum fast; not after his very first time with her. But she looked so good under him, already fucked out of her mind. She felt even better and he could only handle so much.

He couldn’t believe she was going to make him cum this quick just by letting him nudge her pussy with the tip of his cock.

“Fuck, baby, this beautiful pussy’s gonna make me bust and I didn’t even get to fuck her!” Bucky groaned, feeling his abs get taut as he tried to hold off his orgasm for as long as physically possible.

He didn’t know where to look; she looked gorgeous everywhere and it was making it harder for him not to cum right then and then.

“I’m cumming,” she gave a shout before shaking underneath him for the sixth time.

“Fuck, yes, cum for me, doll.” Bucky groaned, squeezing at his base to hold his orgasm off.

“Slip the tip inside me, Buck,” she begged, still catching her breath and writhing underneath him needily as if he hadn’t just given her five mind-blowing orgasms on his fingers.

He shook his head, trying to focus on not cumming.

“Please, Bucky, just the tip.”

“Shit, don’t say stuff like that.” Bucky’s head tipped back as he closed his eyes for a second to keep from staring into her imploring ones.

“Please, Bucky. Give me your cum. I missed being filled up of your cum so much.” She begged further, “I’m clean, I promise.”

“I never doubted you, puppy.” Bucky opened his eyes, pressing his lips to hers at once.

“Then give it to me,” she moaned on his lips, holding his face close to hers by the cheek, “give me all of your cum, Bucky. Fill me up until I’m leaking all over myself and your couch.”

“Fuck, doll, I can’t hold back anymore. You wanna be filled up? I’m gonna fill you up,” he growled, popping the fat tip of his cock inside her pussy.

She arched her back for Bucky, desperate to feel more of him, “thank you.”

She missed this cock stretching her to her limits so bad. She missed its girth and its veins and the hot cum it paints her walls with.

Bucky could all but let go at the first clench of her pussy, feeling his cum shoot inside of her until it had filled her up to the brim.

He watched her sigh in satisfaction, a smile spreading on her sweet face as Bucky’s hot load filled up her pulsating cunt.

Bucky reluctantly slipped out of her, watching his cum leak out of her ruined pussy, “oh thank you, doll.”

She couldn’t keep her thighs off the couch anymore, body limp and exhausted. She hissed once again when her raw skin touched the rough couch but didn’t pull her legs back up.

Bucky sighed, kissing her forehead lovingly before going to the bathroom to get a wet cloth to clean her up.

He tried to be gentle as he moved around her skin, wiping away the cum and the sweat. He went to leave the cloth in the bathroom and when he came back, she was tiredly perching herself on his lap.

Bucky smiled, taking the calendula cream from the coffee table to finally rub some against her marked butt and thighs. Aftercare was the most important part and he wasn’t about to forego it.

“How the hell did he fail at making you cum?” Bucky couldn’t help but ask as his palm rubbed circles on her sore skin.

“I guess it was me and my unorgasmable pussy.” She chuckled, making Bucky even madder at the man.

He had caused her to think there was something wrong with her and her body?

“Seems pretty orgasmable to me, doll. He’s the one with a broken penis.” Bucky grunted, focusing on keeping his touch gentle on her skin.

“Could make the other girl cum just fine, so not that broken.” She mumbled into her forearms as she rested her chin on them, wanting nothing more than to disappear.

“What?”

Now Bucky really was angry.

“He cheated on me.”

Her voice was so sad, so shattered.

“Doll,”

Bucky didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if there was even something to say to make this better.

“Yeah, found them together in his bed and everything. They do try to cover up with the white bed sheet just like the movies.” She chuckled again.

She was making jokes, trying to make light of her pain like she always would, but Bucky wasn’t laughing.

“Doll, I’m so sorry. He’s an asshole.”

“It’s fine, really. Doesn’t come as a surprise to me that I wasn’t enough for him.”

“It isn’t fine and you are enough. You’re everything.”

“Bucky, you don’t have to—”

“Be my girl.”

“What?” Her head whipped back so fast, thinking she must have imagined the words.

“Forget about the rules and the deal and forget about our fears. Be my girl, doll,” Bucky repeated.

“Buck, I—”

“I know I’m messed up beyond repair, but if there’s one thing I can’t mess up, it’s loving you, doll. And if I suck at it, let me die trying my best for you.”

“Why’d you have to go and talk about dying now!” She sat back up, not waiting for her skin to fully absorb the cream as she straddled him again.

Her body was hot all over as she took it his words; words she had imagined him saying while standing alone in the shower so many times before that she’d lost count.

“Be my girl.” Bucky smiled, “let me love you like you deserve, doll.”

“You—”

“Yes. I love you,” Bucky admitted, shrugging, his blunt nails clawing at the small of her back nervously.

“You love me love me?”

“I love you love you.” His palms flattened against the small of her back as he nodded with a bigger smile.

“I love you love you!” She exclaimed angrily, “why didn’t you say anything!” She punched Bucky’s chest.

“Ow!” Bucky laughed, holding her hand midway before she could hit him again, “I didn’t think I deserved you.” He kissed her fist.

The gesture left her quiet as a smile formed on her face despite herself.

She cupped Bucky’s cheek and kissed his lips softly, “you’re an idiot.”

“Still think I don’t deserve you, doll. But I can’t pretend like I’m not madly in love with you anymore.”

He tried to deepen the kiss but she pulled away, shocked.

“Bucky, what are you talking about? If anything, I don’t deserve you!”

“Baby, you deserve the whole world.”

“I don’t want the whole world!” She threw her hands in the air, “just one idiot who would hold me on his lap after a good spanking,” she mumbled shyly, making Bucky laugh.

“This one idiot is all yours if you’d have him, doll.” Bucky’s smile was for once reaching his eyes as he brought her in for another kiss.

“I love you,” she repeated, throwing her body around his, holding him tight, fearing it might be a dream.

“I love you too, baby. I don’t deserve you but fuck I love you so much it keeps me up at night like a teenager,” he confessed in her hair, his big hand pressing her closer to him.

“Stop saying that.” She looked him in the eyes, “you deserve everything good in this whole universe and then some. I just hope I could be enough.”

“Could be enough— doll, you’re enough. You’re just right. The exact amount. You’re it. You’re the best for me and the only one I want.”

She didn’t know what to say to that so she put her lips on Bucky’s again and let the kiss demolish her fears and insecurities.

She was in Bucky’s arms and she was enough. She was safe and loved.

This was Bucky. Bucky, who was never intimidated by her professional success. Bucky, who has met her at her worst. Bucky, who has never done her wrong. Bucky, who has gotten to see the real, raw her and never turned away.

It was in that very moment that she realized that running away from Bucky to find love with other men was the worst crime she had committed against herself because now the mere idea of being out of this man’s arms and heart was too illogical and incredulous to even consider.

“I love you,” Bucky repeated on her lips as they caught their breaths.

And she could see it all in his loving, blue eyes as they adored every inch of her face: she was home and she was never getting lost again.

~

Tag list: @harrysthiccthighss @tinystudentfirepurse @lavendercitizen @tumblin-theworldaway @pretty-pop-princess-hs @lilymurphy03 @idontwannagomrstarkk @glxwingrxse @littlelioncub43 @mathletemadison @canned-rootbear @pandaxnienke @loveisallyouneed1125 @floral-recs @littlemoonkiller @hallecarey1 @vespasianphantom @vicmc624 @winters1917 @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @blkmystery @millercontracting @trappedwriter @am-3-thyst @obsessedwithquinn @sydnielauryn @alittlerayof-pitchblack @olipiaa @peterparkersgirl-blog @buckybarnessweetheart @thealyrs @colorfulbluebirdpainter @stuckysgirl27 @ihavetwoholesforareason @princess-bee0 @pastel-noah168 @steeph-aniie @buckitostan @onthr-dream @sapphirebarnes @123iloveyou456 @ciaqui @lindasweetie @justherefortheficandsmut @xxdiaqiaoxx @morgthemagpie @wintrsoldrluvr @goldylions @serendipitouslife90 @sebastians-love @leelee1234love @tiedyedghoulette @saint-marvel @helenaellie @onceithough @raynelbabe @a-very-fictional-girl @justabeluga @lindababe69

[wonwoonlight]

take a chance / jeon wonwoo

Wonwoo x Reader // 1.7k words // nothing but fluff lol they're idiots

a/n: if you cant tell im absolutely insane abt this wonwoo. 100000% self indulgent and 100% not proofread as always ehe <3 v lowkey inspired also by niki - take a chance with me

He drives me crazy, it's so beyond me

How he'd look at me dead in the eye and stay unaware

Niki - Take A Chance with Me

[☆]

Wonwoo has never really been interested in romance.

When he was six and his friends started talking about girls were icky, he couldn't have cared enough to even think about girls in particular.

When he was fourteen and his close cousin who was practically his big brother told him about his first girlfriend, Wonwoo had simply nodded and congratulated him because the older guy looked like he was waiting for it even though he didn't get what's there to congratulate.

When he was seventeen and another cousin got married, he thought a little about what it'd be like to commit yourself for the rest of your life to another person.

Anyhow, now he's twenty seven and still pretty much free from the dating experience.

He just simply couldn't be bothered to try nor was he even curious enough to try.

There's too much risk. Too much things to do. Too many factors to think about. It's too complicated and Wonwoo has never been a fan of complicated.

Sure, the older he gets the more he understands about the attraction and whatnot. But the few dates that he has been on (which he could count with his two hands) was entirely due to his friends setting up with someone and his inability to say no the second time even though he did reject their so-called-help the first time around.

They eventually get the hint and stop setting Wonwoo up on a blind date.

He never sees romance as a necessity and he doesn't feel the need to have a partner, what is there more to say?

“I lost the floor 12 Abyss again.” You pout, half tempted to throw away the joystick in your hands. “I'm never playing this game again, I'm telling you.”

Wonwoo chuckles and tells you to move as he slides next to you, taking the joystick away and getting ready to restart your game.

“You just suck at this.” He teases, not minding your glare because he's way too used to it at this point. “And you say that everytime but here you are, still playing.”

“Shut up.” You pout, both impressed and unimpressed at the way he easily goes through the stages.

“Done.” He grins, all nine shining stars looking back at you.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don't.”

“I do!” You take back the joystick from him and close the window. “You don't even play this game! This is bullshit!”

He laughs under his breath and ruffles your hair, saying something about how he can't help being good at it.

You like that side of Wonwoo, as you often tell him, because people have always said that Wonwoo is quiet–that he doesn't talk a lot and it could be awkward being left alone with him.

And whilst it's not entirely untrue and you've been there too, you also know that Wonwoo is much more than his lack of words.

Wonwoo talks a lot once he's comfortable. You just need to be very patient and understanding about his silence before he gets there.

You… have been plenty patient, amongst other things.

You're patient enough to get where you are even though you've never imagined you'd get here.

Here, meaning being close enough with Wonwoo for him to be comfortable with you that he doesn't mind inviting you over to his place with no other companies.

Here, meaning being close enough with Wonwoo for him to not mind the fact that you like him and not act weird about it.

Here, meaning being close with Wonwoo despite the fact that you've confessed to him about your feelings but you're still here in his place, right next to him with not a single air of awkwardness between you two.

Turning off the Playstation, you settle on Wonwoo's sofa and decide to scroll through Instagram instead. You sigh, catching his attention, and when he asks you what's wrong, you simply shake your head no.

“What are you sighing about this time?”

This is something that people don't know about Wonwoo either: he prods when it comes to people he cares about.

Granted, he does it exactly three times to see if the other party would relent by then. He does that because that's how he is, he once tells you, because he rarely opens up at the first question but eventually cracks on the third time. That, by the third question, he's already had enough time to consider whether or not he really wants to talk about it.

“Nothing important.” You try to reassure him. “Just silly stuff.”

Wonwoo looks at you pointedly, but you simply smile and turn back to your phone, which he supposes means you don't feel like bringing it up just yet.

He closes his book and puts it on the coffee table, leaning closer to you to see what you're up to.

You wonder if Wonwoo knows what his action means to your poor, poor heart. If he's aware that, as much you said you're cool despite your confession, you still have romantic attractions towards him and confessing doesn't mean you're no longer affected by anything and everything he does.

After watching you go through your phone for a bit, it is quite easy for Wonwoo to realize what might be the core of your problem.

“You're thinking about why you're single again, aren't you?”

Your fingers freeze and so does your entire body, and Wonwoo would've laughed at how surprised you look right now, but he knows you're actually bothered by this problem from time to time though he doesn't exactly understand why.

And for someone who's observative and quite sensitive when it comes to things around him, Wonwoo can be a bit dense, still.

On what kind of universe does he think this topic would be okay to talk about with someone who literally confessed to you and somewhat got rejected though not explicitly?

“I don't want to talk about it.” You whine despite the fast beating of your heart. You honestly don't think you have it in you to talk about this with Wonwoo. At least not just yet.

“Why?”

You look at him, incredulous. “You know why.”

“Because you like me?”

You shrug, not wanting to deny it.

“Can I ask you something?” He asks, voice very gentle and careful.

“What?”

“I'm sorry if this sounds insensitive.” You press your lips together as he starts. At least, he has the conscience to know that. “But… what is it about being in a relationship that appeals so much to you?”

You pause before you answer, wondering what to say. “Do you want me to actually answer that?”

“If you don't mind answering.”

Wonwoo wonders if he makes you uncomfortable by asking such question. But if there's anyone he can ask about this, it can only be you. No one else would answer it in a way that he would understand. No one else would give him the sincerity that you'd give in your answer.

He feels bad knowing you like him and still asking you like this. But he supposes you're both close enough for that discussion, that he doesn't want to let your feelings get in the way of your precious friendship.

Perhaps he's selfish, but he doesn't want to be too conscious when it comes to your relationship with him despite everything.

“I guess it's just the fact that someone's always there for you.” You start, not looking at him even though his gaze is locked at you. “That there's this person who… you can tell everything to, from your secrets to what you feel like eating today. That when you want to do something, you can always run to them first before wondering if anyone else is available. That–”

“But that's already how we are?” He cuts you off.

You stare at him wide-eyed, wondering if it's some kind of prank even though you know he's not that kind of person.

“That's already what I do with you.” He says one more time–more firm and somewhat determined with a hint of confusion. “Why do you think you're in my place so often?”

“I… I– I don't know? You're… bored? And I happen to be free?” You stutter a little, not used to the way he's staring at you.

“I am bored.” He agrees, things suddenly crystal clear in his eyes. “But I'm bored because I don't have you around. And I want you here. That's why I asked all the time if you're available.”

You open your lips to say something–anything, but nothing comes out because your heartbeat is ringing throughout your body right up to your ears.

“You're the only person I send those posts about places I want to visit because I want to visit with you. I don't send them to anyone else. I don't even like going out all that much.”

“I… I don't understand?”

“Are we in a relationship?” He asks rather bluntly, mixing all your feelings together with one single question.

“Wonwoo, I don't think this is how you should go around it–”

“Have we been dating all this time?” He asks one more time, not even seemingly nervous about it.

He looks at you like he's expecting an answer, but how are you supposed to answer that? You've simply been happy that you get to spend time with him. You didn't think for one second that he might be into you despite all the time he asks you to accompany him somewhere and all the time you're alone in his place.

“I've been too oblivious, haven't I?” He concludes by himself, your silence doesn't deter him at all.

He reaches for your cheek, and if he notices how warm your face is, he doesn't mention it. But he caresses the apple of your cheek as he looks at you with the gentlest reflection you've ever seen in his eyes.

“I'm sorry it took me too long.” He whispers, and you bite your lip so hard to hide your smile because you don't want to be too happy before anything's decided. You're not sure what he's trying to say, your head is spinning with thoughts and your heart is beating at an erratic rhythm. “Do you mind… letting me learn a bit more?”

“About what?” You whisper back.

“Being a good boyfriend?” He smiles when you do too, feeling warmth all over his chest at how shy you seem to be. “You know I've never done this before, right? Let me take a chance with you?

You finally let yourself grin at this, no longer able to control the happiness blooming within you at whatever this might mean.

And as you lean your face more into his palm, Wonwoo thinks he's ready to take all the risks that might come together with whatever the future has in store as long as he has you by his side.

[endlessthxxghts]

What You Need

no outbreak!neighbor!joel miller x afab!reader || W/C: ≈6.3k

Summary: You come home from a horribly stressful day at University to everything in your family home a complete mess only for you to take care of. Joel helps you and gives you exactly what you need.

Warnings: SUUUPER self indulgent (sorry guys - it makes for a good plot tho, so i’m not all that sorry <3). no use of “y/n”, age gap (22/42), LATINO JOEL MILLER (idc what anyone says, he needs a warning), established relationship, no physical descriptions of reader, pet names (darlin’, sweet girl, pretty girl, princess, etc.), reader “takes care of everyone but who takes care of her” plot, more porn than plot lol, [SMUT 18+ MDNI] daddy kink, sir kink, heavy on the D/s dynamic (reader falls into subspace), cockwarming, unprotected piv (don’t be like these 2 idiots), breeding kink, cum eating, creampie, finger fucking, finger sucking (briefly), choking, hair pulling, brief thoughts about anal, overstimulation/multiple orgasms, hickeys/marking kink, squirting!, toy use, fluffy ending… i think that’s it?? (dear lord pls forgive me, for i have sinned)  if i missed anything, lmk pls!

Quick lil author’s note (see bottom for extended a/n): In all honesty, I wanna dedicate this (nasty) little one shot to @javierpena-inatacvest because if it wasn’t for our interactions as of late plus reading your “It’s Never Too Late” fic, I never would’ve said fuck it and just start writing with the intention of potentially showing it to the world. Thank you for inspiring me. You’re amazing & I literally love u so so much. You deserve phenomenal head all the love in the world for everything you do <3.

MAIN MASTERLIST || ONESHOT COLLECTION

It was a long day at university today, as per usual, but something about today completely drained you. 

You went to bed past midnight last night because you were busy finishing up a paper, only to get up at 7am the next morning to spend the next 13 hours juggling between classes, assignments, and studying in your “free” time. By the time you were ready to head back home, you were on your very last thread, begging to snap. You also completely spaced on nourishing your body today, the only thing running through it being water and coffee — lots of coffee. 

That’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that the minute you entered your family home, the entire house was an absolute mess, your pets weren’t given their food yet, and no dinner was made. And just like every other day since you grew into an acceptable height to reach the kitchen stove, you took care of it. All of it. 

You were so grateful to your family for allowing you to stay at home during your undergraduate years. It makes your in-state tuition even cheaper, and you get the comfort of your own bed. You knew not many people could rely on their parents and family like this, so you don’t want to sound selfish when you think about how you really wish you had your own place right about now. 

It’s been an hour and a half since you've been home, and you’re barely finishing up getting the food for your dogs when your phone dings in your back pocket. 

Didn’t text me when you got home, baby. Everything okay?

It was from Joel. The neighbor directly across from you, and a quickly growing family friend of yours. Your heart both saddens at the fact that you forgot your unspoken ritual, but it swells at the way he can read you. 

It all began at a small family party last year. You were 21 at the time, and for some reason you could not take your eyes off of your neighbor — who was 20 years your senior. It was always just shared glances or you bringing baked goods from your stress-baking endeavors, but at that party, there was a good period of time where your entire family went outside to the bonfire in the backyard to drink until their hearts gave out, leaving you with the dishes and a trashed house to clean. Joel noticed this, how much they relied on you. Whether it was coming over for a beer with your brothers or your father, or to fix an appliance for your older sister, they always walked all over you — when you did absolutely everything for them. So, he took matters into his own hands and went inside to help you clean up. 

You insisted he didn’t need to, but you knew he wouldn’t let up. So, there, you two worked, harmoniously, straightening up your home in half the time it would normally take you by yourself. The second you completed the last task, you reached for the remote and plopped yourself on the couch, half expecting Joel to go back outside with your family. Except, he plopped himself on the couch right next to you with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen, “What are we watchin’, darlin’?” 

“You know you could’ve stayed outside with everyone else, Miller,” you say as you turn your body to him with an eyebrow quirked up. He matches your expression, “Well, where’s the fun in that?” 

You break into a breathy little giggle, satisfied with his comeback, and you turn on the TV. With your family completely occupied outside, it was easy for either of you to make a move. And although Joel had been planning to for the last few months before this party, you took matters into your own hands and lifted his arm closest to you, tucked yourself into his side and pulled his arm back around your body. He looked down at you, smirking at your boldness while your eyes remained fixed on the movie before you. 

The next few hours of the night were filled with secret caresses and stolen kisses, and you have never felt more loved and appreciated in your life. From then on, you’ve been absolutely smitten with him, and he with you. 

Instead of replying, you dial him instead. Not even a third ring goes by before he answers, “Baby.” 

“Oh my god, hi, baby, I’m so sorry. I completely spaced. The minute I got home, the house was a mess, the dogs weren’t fed yet, dinner wasn’t even cooked, and I-”

“Mi amor,” he says with a deep breath, implicitly telling you to take one, “it’s okay, baby. I don’t wanna hear sorry from you. I’m sorry everythin’ is a mess, baby. Can I help? Need me to come over?”

Your rapid heart rate immediately starts to slow at how calming, ready and willing he is to give you anything you need. Your family would go absolutely insane if Joel just showed up right now with the sole intention of helping you take care of the home and yourself, but you don’t mention that. “No, baby, I promise I’m okay. I just need to relax. I need-” you pause for a moment to take another breath because you feel your body going panicky again. “I need…honestly, I just need you.” 

After the shitty day you’ve had today, having to take control of every single thing, honestly all you really want, and need, right now is for your control to be taken away. You don’t want to think, you don’t want to decide, and you don’t even want to figure out your dinner even though you haven’t eaten all day. 

He pauses for a moment, hearing the slight whine at your last statement. And just like that, Joel is at your rescue. “You need me, huh, babygirl?” 

“Mhm, please.” 

“Cross the street, darlin’, right now,” and he hangs up the phone. 

You bolt out of your seat, and sprint straight to the front door, quickly locking it. You think to say something on the Ring camera, letting your family know you’ll be back, but you know they won’t even think twice at your absence. You already cleaned the house and took care of the animals they begged for but don’t care for — why else would they look for you? 

Just in case they do check the cameras, however, you immediately veer to the left side of your driveway into the blind spots of your front door. 

Within seconds, you’re at his door about to knock, but he’s already opening the door, whispering a soft hi followed by your name, and pulling you into a tight embrace. He pulls you away for a second, assessing your face, assessing your needs. He sees your brows pulled together, eyes glossed over, and a pout beginning to form. You don’t need soft and comforting. You need stern, dominating control. You need nothing but pure bliss, and he’s going to give that to you. But first: 

“Safe words. Repeat em’.” 

“Red for hard stop, yellow if I’m starting to get uncomfortable, and green to keep going.” 

“That’s my girl,” he says and finally pulls you in for that rough, all-consuming kiss you’ve been craving. It’s a battle of teeth and tongue, and obviously he wins. His hands are roughly sliding down to the underside of your asscheeks, tightly pulling you into his hardening bulge. You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, but pause for a moment because he never gave you permission to. He senses that, and pulls back for just a moment. “Such a good fuckin’ girl for me. Go ‘head, baby, touch me.” 

You immediately bring your arms back up to grab ahold of him but too riled up in how he’s making you feel, you don’t notice the huge grumble your empty tummy makes. He pulls both your wrists back from his neck and puts an insufferable amount of space between you two. 

He says your name, filled with both concern and slight anger. “When was the last time you ate?” 

Silence. 

He lets go of your wrist and grabs your chin between his pointer and thumb, forcing you to meet his eyes. “I’m not askin’ again, baby.”

“Y-yesterday night,” you stumble out. 

“I’m not givin’ you a heavy meal ‘cause that’ll just upset your stomach, but I am fixin’ you somethin’. Go upstairs, change into the clothes on the bed, come back down and position yourself on the ottoman, like I taught ya last week, hm?”

Too enamored by his roughly smooth voice, all you can muster up is a nod. His eyebrow barely shifts, but that’s all a warning you need. “Yes, sir.” 

Padding up into his room, already feeling your insides start to float, you reach the edge of his bed to see a pair of black cheeky boxers, and a thin, fitted black tee. You quickly strip off everything you arrived here in and slip on the garments he gave you. Wasting no time, you head back down in a bee line to the ottoman. 

Like I taught ya last week, hm?

His words echo in your mind as you begin to recall last week’s endeavors. 

You were straddling his lap for a while now, slowly swallowing each other’s moans and making every part of each other’s body ingrained into your memories. Until suddenly he pulls back, eyes dead set with intention. “You trust me, baby?”

“Always, Joel,” you say back with as stern a voice as possible, confused as to why he’d ask such a thing. “Can I teach you somethin’, then, darlin’?”

You pull him into one more kiss before you breathily tell him yes and pull yourself off his lap to stand before him, fully at his disposal. 

He stands up, and without any verbal indications, he’s grabbing onto you and molding your body onto the ottoman in a position that begins to drift you off into subspace. You don’t know if it’s the fact that you're sitting on your knees with your legs tucked under you, or if it’s the slow drag of his hands caressing your inner thighs, pulling them farther apart from each other. Or maybe it’s the way he softly places your hands, palms up, atop of your thighs. Whatever the hell it is, you absolutely fucking love it. 

He feels you melting into every little touch he makes and he notes every little moment you slip further and further into your space. “Doin’ okay, my sweet girl?” he asks, voice dark and sweet. 

All you can pull out of yourself is a pathetic little whine and a head nod. 

“This is position number one. Remember it. We’ll learn more later, but this’ll do just fine for a while, baby.”

And with that, he kisses you ever so softly but with such a dominating, addictive energy that you feel yourself try to push up into him, and immediately he pulls away. 

“Sweet girl, Imma let it slide this time, but you do not move from this position unless given permission. Ya hear?”

You return to your original position and assure him how good you’ll be, “Won’t happen again, daddy, I promise.”

His jaw clenches at the honorific; that’s your number one tell that signifies you’ve completely submitted and fallen into subspace. He had originally planned on giving you what you asked for two days ago — “Please, Joel, I need you to fuck me, hard.” — but seeing you all docile and ready for him just makes him want to absolutely praise you in the most beautiful ways possible. 

So that’s what he did. For hours. An hour of bending you over the ottoman to eat your pussy like a man who had all the time in the world, an hour of fingering orgasm after orgasm out of you while his mouth switched between licking and marking your tits, and a few hours after that just slowly fucking you into his mattress, caressing and loving on every single part of your body he could reach. 

Let’s just say, your family didn’t see you for the rest of that day or the next, and you did not care one fucking bit. 

You shuffle onto the ottoman, your form now perfected after secretly practicing each night to increase your endurance of staying in such a position for however long Joel needed you to. 

You wait for about five more minutes before he comes back with a platter of all of your favorite fruits — strawberries, mangoes, and pineapple — and sits on the cushioned seat right in front of you. He melts at how good you sit for him, immediately disregarding his original plan and wanting you as close to him as possible. 

“My good, beautiful girl,” he says softly, in a way that you’re not sure if it was even meant for you to hear, but you still melt nonetheless. “Come,” he says as he pats his lap while setting the plate off to the table beside him. 

You shoot up like a lightning bolt, too excited at the thought of being able to feel him again, but before you can climb up, he grabs your hips, stopping you for a second. He slides his fingers into the hem of your underwear and slowly slides them completely off of you, setting them neatly on the ottoman behind you. He slowly reaches for his belt, then slides it off, letting it fall somewhere on the ground. You stand completely still, patiently waiting for whatever he’s going to give you, although your pussy is proving anything but patient. 

He undoes the button and zipper of his jeans and signals for you to come up. “Take me out, cariño.”

You climb up on his thighs, not fully straddling him to give yourself some room to tug his jeans and boxers down enough to pull him free. You pull him free with a small moan escaping your lips, wanting to dart your tongue out and lick his angry tip, but he didn’t give his permission for that. So, you begrudgingly let him go, and wait for what comes next. 

“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” he states nonchalantly as if his dick isn’t absolutely begging for you to reach out and grab it. “You’re gonna sit on my cock, keep me nice and warm. Without moving. Only until you’ve eaten all the fruit on this plate will I think about what’s gonna happen next. Got it?”

Your voice trembles, “Y-yes, sir.” 

He nods his head, while bringing his hand up to your mouth, signaling for you to let your drool fall. You scoot closer and lift your hips up while he pumps himself a few times to completely cover himself in your spit. With how much your cunt is dripping, you knew his lewd act was for his benefit and his only. 

The second his tip catches at your entrance, you can’t control the high-pitch whine that falls from your mouth, and he can’t stop himself from gripping your hips with a bruising force in an attempt to keep from mercilessly pounding up into you right here. 

“So f-fucking full,” you breath out as you sink lower and lower, to which he nearly growls with a strained, “So fucking tight.”

You finally bottom out, and you both take a moment to breathe and settle any impulsive thoughts of forgetting the purpose of tonight’s scene. You shift a little to adjust to settle your legs more comfortably at his sides, while he leans over to bring your plate of fruit closer. Both your actions together make you hiss in desperation.

“Color, baby?”

“Green, sir, green,” you promise him.

He smiles, genuine and bright, before his face goes dark and smug again. He picks up a piece of pineapple with his fingers. “Open.”

You lean in and take the sweet fruit from his fingers, making sure to lick any residual of the pineapple’s sweet juices. This goes on until you’ve finished every last piece he cut for you. Towards the last few pieces, your pussy was absolutely drenching his cock with your slick, both your thighs and his soaked. He could feel every pulse and every flutter, and no matter how patient he usually was, something in the air tonight was testing every ounce of his strength. 

He sets the plate aside and licks a mix of fruit juices and your spit clean off his fingers. You watch him, completely entranced by the way his tongue wraps around his thick fingers, and you can’t help but feel such an aching need to throw yourself at him. 

So you do. And to your surprise, he allows it. You pull both his arms to wrap around your middle and you push yourself into him for a searing kiss, whimpering for him to slip you his tongue. He indulges, and you immediately begin grinding your hips down onto his cock. He growls and wraps his arms tighter around you, adding more pressure into your grind, forcing you to break the kiss to regain your breath. “Fuck, baby. Such an impatient little one, aren’t ya?” He rasps out. 

Your hips move faster at his words, trying to will yourself to say something, anything, but you can’t. He notices your effort. “It’s okay, I’ve got you, baby, hm?”

And with that — with the notion that he’ll take care of you with anything you need — you completely fall. “Y- yes,” you moan out, “Da- fuck- daddy’s got me.”

Ah, there she is. Daddy’s girl. His back straightens so he’s towering over you more. He grabs your jaw tightly while you continue to pleasure yourself on his dick, forcing you to hold his stare. “Oh, sweet girl, daddy’s always gonna give ya what ya need. Promise, baby. Now be the good little girl I know you are and cum for me.”

You can feel him meet every movement of your hips, coaxing your high out of you faster than you realize. The wet, squelch your pussy makes every time you suck him in is enough to make him release his load, but he won’t. Not until you’ve came more times than ever before, not until you’re left completely fucked dumb. 

He snakes his hand down to the front, reaching for your clit, using his thumb to make mind-numbing, calculated circles. Your back arches at the sensation, head thrown back, and he brings his other free hand to the back of your neck to pull you closer into him. He ravishes your neck all over, sucking and biting all your weak spots, your pulse points, only to run his tongue over it in soothing motions, getting even more worked up at the marks that’ll form tomorrow. Then, he rips your shirt right in half, letting it fall to the ground. So much for makin’ you change, he thinks. He brings his mouth lower and lower, sucking one of your nipples in between his teeth, throwing you over the edge.

Your vision goes white, your entire body goes rigid, and your pussy uncontrollably flutters around his dick as he peppers your neck and chest with more kisses while you come back down. 

Your body is now soft and pliant, fully ready for whatever more Joel is going to give you. Your head is still high up in the clouds, and it will be for a while, but he always knows how to take care of you. You feel him slowly lift you off his dick and you hear him groan as he looks down. 

“God fucking damn, doll, look at you all over me. Such a fuckin’ mess.”

Your face heats up immediately, “I- I’m sorry, daddy, I-”

He grabs your jaw again and pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, all teeth and tongue. He pulls away bringing your bottom lip with him until he lets go, letting it fall back into place, now wet with his spit. “Don’t fuckin’ apologize for that. You made daddy so proud, baby. So much so that you’re gonna do it again for me,” he says as he squeezes your ass cheek. 

You squeak out a gasp and a breathy please. He stands up and makes his way to his bedroom with you still wrapped around him like a koala. 

Immediately he throws you on the bed, and before you’re able to scramble up towards the pillows, he’s already pushing you up by the thighs and kneeling between your spread legs. 

He releases one thigh for a quick second and holds his hand out, “Pillow, baby.” It takes your blissed mind one moment to register, but as soon as it does, you don’t waste a second, grabbing the pillow next to your head and eagerly handing it to him. He takes the pillow and taps your thigh twice, signaling for you to lift up. He secures the pillow under your hips then brings both his large hands back to the underside of your thighs, pushing your legs up so you’re nearly folded in half, giving him complete access to your dripping heat. 

If there’s one thing about Joel Miller, it’s that he loves to make a fucking mess. You thought your first sensation would be one flat lick up your cunt, but instead you feel warmth. Wet and warm and everywhere, and finally you realize, he let his mouth fill with spit only to absolutely drench you with it. Once he’s satisfied with his mess only then does he dive into you like a man starved. Licking and pushing into your slit while the tip of his nose rubs against your clit has you climaxing in an instant, your back arching and your hips lifting as much as they can with the weight of his hands on your thighs keeping you in place. 

He lets one hand slowly slide off your thigh and up your belly until he reaches one of your tits, switching between grabbing your entire breast and pinching your nipple. He continues to lick at you and circle your clit with his tongue until you’re a complete whining mess from the overstimulation. “Daddy, please,” you moan. 

He lifts his head, eyes as black as ever, “I’ve got you, princess, you can take it.” He reluctantly breaks away from your cunt and kisses his way up your body, taking his time with sloppy, open mouthed kisses near your hip bone and your sternum, knowing those areas drive you crazy the most. He makes sure to bite a little extra hard in some areas on his journey up, knowing you love to admire all the marks and bruises he makes on you. 

He sucks another bruise right underneath your jaw, making you push up into him more, while his hands continue to wander and grasp every part of your body that he can. Finally he reaches your mouth and gives you a sweet, long kiss to your mouth, distracting you enough that you don’t see him reach for the vibrator in the nightstand beside the bed. You feel him slide his hand back down your body, but you still don’t realize the vibrator’s presence until you feel the buzz directly on your clit. 

Out of pure reaction, your hand flies to the nape of his neck and tugs sharply, all while obscenities fall pathetically from your mouth, “Oh- f-fuck, daddy, yes! J-just like that, please, please don’t stop…” The quick-paced, blinding pleasure builds so fast it cuts off your dirty mouth and reduces you down to moans and gasps and whines of daddy, daddy, daddy. 

He slips two fingers into your pussy, sliding in with so much ease with how wet you are from a combination of your cream and his spit, all while he uses his other hand to push the vibrator into your bundle of nerves. 

You don’t know whether it has been one minute or one hour of this, but all you know is that you’ve got sweat lining your forehead, beading down your body, and you absolutely can’t take the buzzing pleasure with the constant come-here motion with his fingers anymore, you have to let go. Although this time, it feels different than the rest of the times Joel has made you cum. This time… this time it feels like- you have to pee? 

Immediately you start to panic and try to break away from his hold, unable to allow yourself to fucking pee all over him. “Daddy, wait! Please stop.. it- it feels different, like I.. I think I’m gonna pee..” you gasp, trying to articulate your thoughts while he continues his torture on your cunt. 

His eyes go wide and it immediately registers for him, “Fuck, baby, don’t worry about that, just let go. Come on, daddy’s got you. You trust me?” 

You hesitate for a moment, but still, you know the answer, “Y-yes, daddy.” 

“Good, my princess. Cum for me, fuckin’ soak me. I told you I wanted another fuckin’ mess,” he demands and fucks you even harder with his fingers and increases the pressure of the vibrator. 

You all but scream, definitely sure the neighbors can hear you, but you don’t give a fuck with the fireworks erupting behind your eyes and all throughout your body. Your body is still convulsing and you’re sure you’ve gone unconscious for a moment, but what brings you back to the Earth is the feeling of a warm, flat tongue licking you all over, cleaning you up. Then another sensation hits you: your bottom half is completely fucking drenched. You muster up all the strength you can to open your eyes and look down to see what’s going on. 

You see your big, broad man licking you up so sweetly, but from his mouth down he is also absolutely soaked, down to the collar of his dark green shirt he was wearing. 

Holy fuck. You fucking squirted. That was new. And with Joel’s reaction to it, you’re definitely sure that’s not gonna be the last time he pulls that out of you. 

He doesn’t realize you’re up again until you’re softly calling his attention back up to you and not your pussy. He makes eye contact with you, and his eyes fucking sparkle. Yeah, there’s no way this was a one time kind of thing. He sits back up on his haunches and strips himself of his shirt. He never pulled his jeans back up from when you used him to get off in the living room, so his dick has been patiently waiting for attention since your last two orgasms. 

He strips himself completely at the bottom half, too, leaving you with a perfect view of his toned chest, softer middle, and bulging arms and shoulders. Your cunt, all used and abused, fucking clenches on nothing at the naked sight of him. Of course, he fucking notices. 

“Oh, my poor baby. She’s just fuckin’ beggin’ to be filled, huh?” His southern drawl always intensifies whenever he gets spurred on like this. And, fuck, if it doesn’t make you fold more than you already do. 

You whine at his words and spread your legs even wider for him to see what’s rightfully his. 

“Just beggin’ to get pumped full of my fuckin’ cum, huh, princess? Is that what she wants? That what my babygirl wants?” 

“Please, daddy! Yes, that’s what I- what I need, daddy… need you ins- fuck- need you inside, daddy,” you ramble out, already fucked stupid but still begging for more. He situates himself on top of you, stopping your begging with a harsh kiss that leaves your already swollen lips throbbing. “Shhh, I’m gonna give you what you need, darlin’,” and he kisses you one more time as he begins to notch his tip at your entrance. 

He hooks his arm underneath your knee, hiking your one leg up higher to open you completely. You feel him start to push in deeper, and neither of you can help the initial gasp of how good it feels to be consumed by one another. He leans down again to kiss you, unable to get enough of your lips on his, and you bring your hand back up to the back of his head, keeping him close to you, feeling the exact same way. 

He completely bottoms out into you then, his breathing labored and you, a whimpering mess. No matter how many times you two have fucked, his sheer size always makes you feel like it’s the first time. He stays still to let you get used to the feeling again. You both lay there for a few minutes, kissing and consuming each other’s breaths and moans while he gives you rhythmic little grinds to stimulate your clit. Your pussy is sobbing at this point, enough wetness has accumulated that he’s able to slide right out until just the tip is in you and he pushes right back in, hard. 

He fucks you hard, maintaining this rhythm for a while, completely consumed by the way you wrap around him so perfectly. What started off as one leg hiked up around him turned into a complete mating press, giving you the maximum sensation of his length and girth pumping in and out of you. He always gets so foul-mouthed whenever you two end up in this position, not that you’d ever complain because you love hearing that rough, sexy Southern drawl utter absolute filth that only your ears will ever get to hear. 

“Fuck, darlin’, it’s like she was fuckin’ made for me. Wrapped around my cock, so fucking tight and warm. I could spend fuckin’ forever here wrapped up in your tight fuckin’ cunt,” he groans. 

“All for you, daddy, always,” you respond, purposefully squeezing your pussy tight in time with your words. That drives him absolutely fucking crazy that he pulls his arm upwards in between your legs that are resting on his torso and brings his hand up to wrap around your throat. “Say it again,” he growls, “tell me who the fuck this pussy belongs to, baby.” He squeezes the sides of your neck tighter, creating an even lighter sensation in your head coupled with the submissive daze you’ve been in since you got here. 

“F-fuck, d-daddy- shit,” you can’t focus on anything but the way he feels wrapped around your neck while balls deep inside of you. 

“Darlin’ girl,” he warns, “don’t make me repeat myself.”

You sob out, willing your body to respond to him, willing your body to obey, “Th- this pussy belongs t- to-“ you take a breath, “to you, daddy, only you. Forever.” 

He releases your throat and pulls your legs down from the mating press, wrapping them around his waist instead. He places one hand at the back of your head and the other on the headboard, then kisses you furiously before breaking away, “God damn f-fuckin’ right, princess. All fuckin’ mine to do whatever I fuckin’ want.” And with that, he’s slamming into you, his hand on the headboard in a (wasted) attempt to save the wall from the constant banging. 

“Touch that pretty little clit, princess,” he breathes out, chasing his own release now with the sole intention of marking you with his seed. One hand still on his neck, the other snakes down to rub your clit in fast, messy circles, your body begging to cum for a fourth time tonight. “Daddy,” you whine out again, the honorific clearly being your only vocabulary for tonight. 

“I know, honey, I know,” he coos, “Cum for me, mama, and I’ll fill you up right fuckin’ now,” he sucks on your bottom lip, “You want that, baby? To be pumped full of me?” He knows your answer, yet he still asks anyway knowing how much his words affect you. 

“Please, God, yes, fill me up… I need your cum so fucking badly, I need to feel you, please,” you beg, only spurring him on more. 

With both of your mouths spilling such dirty words, his lips anywhere they can reach with the combination of you playing with your clit and him pounding into you, your body enters the astral plane yet again for the fourth time tonight. Though, this time, you force your body to come back down, so you can feel his warmth spill into you. 

It only takes but a few more thrusts after you climax for him to follow suit, roaring out as hot, thick ropes of cum spill into you, overflowing and dripping out of your sore cunt. He slowly pulls out, labored breathing, sits back up and just watches. Watches as your pussy clenches to keep him locked inside of you, watches as his load drips down your folds over your tight, little asshole. Another day, he thinks to himself with a smirk. 

He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until his fingers are engrossed in the thick combination of your releases. You moan out at the sensitivity of your pussy, but Joel doesn’t care. He slips his middle and ring finger in, feeling just how much he filled you up. And before you know it, he’s pumping in and out of you yet again, his eyes completely focused on your glistening sex, hitting that spongy spot inside of you that has you fluttering for another fucking release. 

“Ahh,” you hiss, not knowing whether you want him to stop or keep going. He uses his other hand to rub on your clit. Fuck. Yeah, okay, you want him to keep going. “Shit, daddy, I’m gonna cum again,” you say as you scramble to get ahold of the bedsheets. 

Joel’s gaze breaks away from your cunt to look at you, he smirks like the devil, “Oh, yeah, honey? Gonna give me another one? Come on, baby, I know you have it in you,” he slips a third finger inside. You whine at the stretch. “One more mess, baby, and then I’ll take care of you, I gotcha,” he says for comfort. 

You’re nearing the point where you guys usually begin to transition into aftercare, and he knows. He always knows. But he also knows that today you need a little extra push, so he gives it to you. 

The thrusts of his fingers don’t come to a stop, but they exponentially slow. “Give me a color, mi amor,” he softly encourages. Even with your erratic breathing, you’re able to force out, “Oh my god, daddy, green, green, green, please go faster, just like before, please-” 

He quickly leans forward and stops your blabbering with a chaste kiss and chuckles when he pulls back, “My god, I love you so much, princess.” Then his fingers pick back up to the speed you were so desperately loving before, his and your cum leaking out all over the inside of your thighs. 

“Fuck, daddy, I love you so fucking much, fuck, thank you, thank you,” you cry out. A few more pumps and a few more circles to your clit and you’re cumming for the fifth (and final) time tonight. Joel groans at the way you finish on his fingers, and it’s his mouth that blabbers out this time.

“Shit, baby, yes, soak my fuckin’ fingers, let me feel you, fuck-” He’s so enthralled at the sight before him, he doesn’t hear you pleading for him to stop pushing in and out until the honorific fades, “Baby, baby, baby,” you frantically breathe. 

He makes eye contact with you again and realizes how caught up he was in you. “Oh, darlin’, shit, I’m sorry, mi amor. What’s your color, baby? Fuck, I’m sorry-” 

It’s you this time who forces your entire wobbly body to push up and meet him in a bruising kiss. “Stop, daddy,” you say with a lilt in your tone, signaling to Joel that you’re back from subspace. You smirk, “My color is green, cowboy, but I really need you to run me a warm bath now because I can’t move a single muscle with how you had me, baby,” and pull him in once more for another kiss. 

His smugness returns and he pushes you back down on his bed, peppering your face and neck with kisses, forcing sweet out-of-breath giggles from you. “That, I can do, baby. May I join you?”

Your face completely softens, your stresses and worries from the last 24 hours completely nonexistent. “I’d be mad if you didn’t, Miller.” 

The next hour and a half — or until the bath water becomes tepid — is spent with him cherishing your body, washing you with your lavender, oat milk body wash you love so much, ultimately just helping you softly come down from your oxytocin high. 

You’ve never felt more loved, appreciated, or taken care of in your life. He always makes sure your come down is smooth and unnoticeable as you fall from a blissed state of mind to one of pure love and adoration. As long as you have him in your life, you truly believe you have all of what you need. 

As he’s drying your body up and slipping you into one of his t-shirts, your stomach growls… loudly. 

“Darlin’...” 

You pull away from his grasp, jokingly rolling your eyes while smirking, “Yeah, yeah, Miller. Come on. Gotta fill me up again, don’tcha, cowboy?” 

“Jesus Christ,” he breathes out followed by your name, “Tryna put me in an early fuckin’ grave or what?”

Author’s note - extended: Hi guys! I birthed this little one shot on a Friday night while sippin’ on a glass of whiskey and stressing about the stressful entire week I just had. This isn’t my first time writing, in general, but this is my first time writing with the intention of truly producing a story out of it.. this is also my first story I’m posting, so I’m very nervous. Even if just one other person reads this and enjoys it, that’s all that matters to me <3 I also wanna give a quick thank you to my bestie, who’s an AVID smut reader, for proofreading this. She said, and I quote, “gotta change my panties” and “she’s growling” after reading this LMAOO. So, thank you for that, bestie. I love you with my whole heart.

As with any fic, reblog and comments are very much appreciated!! All feedback is appreciated, too!!! Please do let me know how you liked this, and if there's anything specific I could work to improve, I'd love to know! I hope I did okay for my first actual attempt at smut.

Much love to everyone! <3

.

EDIT: As of the new year 2024, I no longer do taglists!! Follow @endlessthxxghtsnotifs and turn on the notifications to be updated when new stories come out!!

[whiskeyghoul]

Pt2. || She blinded me with science || [Spencer Reid x Goth!Reader]

Read part 1 here

Read part 3 here

A/N: OMG I can’t believe how much people enjoyed part 1? Seriously, as I am finishing this part up it has reached over 500 notes, I am shocked and so very thankful for the love. I didn’t expect it. A silly little fic not proof read, totally self indulgent, really this is so wonderful and I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read it and reblog, like or comment on it. I hope part 2 doesn’t disappoint. Part 3 is going to be here soon too, which will be the unofficial date.

WC: 1,9K ~

Tags: Fluff, just fluff, Spencer is a flustered mess, Alt!Reader, Goth!Reader, 2 idiots flirting, Reader and Penelope are besties, use of Y/N, Penelope has been playing matchmaker, alluding to a date, crushes.

Warnings: None. 

Your pov.

It was a late Sunday afternoon. You were sitting on Penelope Garcia’s couch, cup of hot tea in hand. Legs curled up on the couch with a colorful blanket over your lap. It clashed just ever so slightly with your dark outfit. The two of you are in complete contrast to each other. Penelope was a ball of color in a bright purple dress with a lemon pattern, large yellow earrings and a blue bolero sweater. Compared to your all black ensemble she was a ray of sunshine. An array of snacks spread out over the coffee table. The aforementioned peppy blonde was sitting next to you on the couch. Deeply engrossed with the romance show playing on the TV. You watched it together every Sunday, when a new episode would come out. Today your mind was somewhere else completely.

“He hasn’t called yet.” You spoke up. Penelope eyed you curiously, “Who?” She asked, her focus gone from the show. Her eyes peered at you with interest from behind the cat eye glasses she had picked out that day. “Doctor Reid.” You turned your head back to the TV casually, trying to not seem bothered. You could hear Penelope hold back a small squeal. It sounded more like a gasp that way. “Oh my god! Are you interested in him? What did he do to impress you? I have been trying to set you up for ages! You have shot down any person I have discussed with you. Always something wrong.” She started rambling, hearing the clink of her glass being put on the coffee table. Her hands grabbed yours, making you look back at her and rolling your eyes. “Firstly: I am not ‘interested’ in him. Secondly: I just thought he would have called by now. Or stopped by at least.” You shrugged noncommittally. You were just a little interested. Thinking back to that meeting.

When Spencer had stepped into the lab earlier that week, courtesy of Penelope, you had found his awkward demeanor endearing. He was hot, that was for sure, and tall, you remembered having to look up at him, Those dark brown eyes pinning you in place. Especially when you had stood so close together. You had wanted to tease him after watching him stumble over his sentences. See him even more flustered. It made you somewhat excited. When you had given him your number you could feel his pulse racing under his skin. He had shown many signs of being interested yet he hadn’t even texted you. It made you rethink the interaction. 

“Well, he couldn’t have stopped by. They got called on a case in Utah so he’s not really in the area right now.” Penelope clarified. Those words put your mind at ease more than you expected them to. “Oh, I guess he can’t really get to the lab then.” You shrugged. Just a little disappointed but feeling relieved that apparently he hadn’t meant to not visit you. Or maybe he had done so on purpose if he would be close. Your earlier relief was replaced by a mild panic again. Trying to convince yourself you weren’t interested in Dr. Reid. Although, he could have texted.

You could practically feel Penelope smirk as you turned your attention back on the TV. Unable to focus but pretending to. “Spence is not one for texting. He probably has been getting to the hotel at ungodly hours and hasn’t had time to call.” it was like she could read your mind. “Don’t do that.” You said with a shudder. “Do what?” Penelope questioned innocently. “Read my mind like that. It’s weird.” You answered, making her laugh. “Just goes to show how well I know you.” She answered with a smile. It was true. She knew you too well you would even argue. The fact both of you were women in a male dominated field, both dressed eccentricly, and both with a passion for cheesy movies and tv shows. It was only a matter of time until you were best friends after your first run in.

Your phone, which was placed on the table, lit up at that moment. The ringtone played at a high volume, making the cure blast through the room. Your eyes quickly flickered to the screen. Caller ID unknown. You picked up the phone, hesitant of the unknown caller, deciding to hang up instead. You had been plagued by telemarketers for the past month and really didn’t want to deal with that right now. If it was important they would call again. And they did, you still had your phone in your hands when it went off again. “Just pick it up! I will keep watch over our show, fill you in later.” Penelope said, motioning her hands for you to get up. You got off the couch, soft blanket falling to the ground as you picked up the phone. Softly padding away to the kitchen to be out of earshot of Penelope. “Y/n speaking.” you answered, waiting to hear from the other end of the line.

“Hey… ehm… is this not the right time? Are you busy?” The voice on the other end of the line made you straighten up slightly in surprise. “Doctor Reid.” You breathe out his name quietly, adding a “Now is a perfectly good time.” to your sentence. Wondering how hearing his voice through the slightly tin-like phone speaker made you feel a little flutter in your stomach. “Good… I didn’t want to bother you. You can just call me Spencer by the way. Doctor sounds too formal. I just introduce myself like that. It’s a habit. I don’t call you Doctor L/n either. So call me Spencer.” He started rambling. A smile spread across your lips, this rambly version was different from how speechless he had been in the lab. You held back a giggle. Apparently you had rendered him speechless in the lab. “Alright, Spencer.” You answered, the humor in your voice apparent. His breath hitched a little on the other side of the line. 

“Why did you call?” You asked, trying to continue on without dawdling. “Oh eh, the report, I ehm…” He was quiet for a moment. It crossed your mind that maybe he didn’t need to speak with you, but he wanted to. “Yes?” You urged after a silence had fallen on the other side of the phone line. There was an intake of breath from Spencer, a moment that signaled he might be trying to raise some courage. “I didn’t want to talk about the report.” He finally spoke. It made you smile, your cheeks flushing ever so slightly. “Oh, well then what did you want to talk about?” You added a bit of playfulness in your tone. You pictured him, holding the phone to his ears that were tipped red. His face was probably just as flushed as it had been in the lab. 

“I ehm- I haven’t been able to focus, on the case that is. Because I keep thinking about the lab. How I probably came off as a mess, I just didn’t know what to say because you looked so… Not that you look bad because you don’t, you looked really nice. Emily says my IQ gets slashed down to 68 when I am around pretty girls. I wanted to make a good impression. I couldn’t find the words though. I usually don’t make great first impressions, because I tend to ramble. Just- I really really hope I didn’t make a bad first impression.” His sentences flowed into each other like word vomit. Nervous, quick, and hardly understandable. Luckily, you were trained in the art of understanding nervous rambles when Penelope would spiral into one from time to time. However he had called you pretty. “Spencer.” You said his name almost like a question. There was a beat of silence. “Yes?” He asked softly, he sounded so nervous.

“You didn’t make a bad impression. I gave you my number for a reason.” You told him with a smile, a little giddy as the words ‘he called me pretty’ kept bouncing around your head. “And I am sorry I called without any real reason to… I know it was for talking about the report. Though Morgan tried to convince me it wasn’t.” Spencer answered. You rolled your eyes at that. Ofcourse, this hyper intelligent man would mix up what you were trying to do. “I gave you my number because I wanted you to call me. Not about the report. I just wanted you to call me. About anything.” There was apparently a need to clear up that confusion. It was silent for another moment. “Oh.” It was like realization dawned on him. “So I should have called sooner, right?” His question made you laugh softly, trying not to clue in Penelope on your call.  “Yes, you should have. Or could have at least. I was waiting.” You answered back, smiling at the ground. You fidgeted with one of the large rings on your free hand, twisting the cool metal round with your thumb.

“I’m sorry I didn’t.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice. The slight uptick in his pitch. You imagined he was still fiddling with the sleeve of his sweater, or was perhaps looking at his shoes with a grin. “You can make it up to me by buying me a coffee when you get back.” The suggestion came naturally, you didn’t even have to think about it. The words left your lips before you could, really. “What do you like?” Spencer asked without hesitation. “Cinnamon latte.” You answered it softly, a little surprised he agreed so readily. A giddy feeling in your stomach. “Alright, cinnamon latte, I’ll remember.” Spencer sounded a little breathy, like he too was feeling giddy at the prospects of having coffee together. Like the idea of taking time to get to know each other at work over a warm beverage was the perfect first date. “What do you like?” You asked in turn, wanting to know what he would usually get. Knowing more about him would feel so domestic and sweet. “Black coffee, usually with tons of sugar.” He had a hint of embarrassment in your voice. A little muffled like he had covered his mouth to hold in the confession of drinking it so sweet. You smiled at his answer. Of course he had a sweet tooth. “Tons of sugar, I’ll remember.” You mirrored his words. 

“Oh! My! God!” You heard Penelope gasp from the living room. Knocking you out of your little phone call bubble with Spencer. “I think I have to go. You better call me tomorrow.” You said it lightheartedly. Just wanting to hear from him again soon. “I will. I’ll call you.” Spencer answered. “Bye Spencer.” “Bye Y/n.” You hung up with a smile, already turning and walking back into the living room. Penelope turned around on the couch to look at you, “They shot Richard!” She looked absolutely shocked as she gave you the news of your favorite character being hurt. You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face though. “Spencer called.” You saw her face form from a shocked to surprise expression, “Oh! My! God!” She sounded a lot happier that time, and you knew you wouldn't hear the end of it.

[blue-aconite]

the offside rule || j.h.s

Summary: Jake learns that his girl is crazy about football, but not the kind he expected.

Warnings: jake being a sweetheart, no use of y/n

Word Count: 1.5k

Pairings: Jake Seresin x f!reader

Authors Note: This is inspired by @roosterforme's Sundays Are for the Boys and @teacupsandtopgun's Jake and Flick universe. This is also very self-indulgent and somewhat based on parts of my life.

“What are you doing?” Jake emerged from the bathroom, only to find his girlfriend on the couch, watching what looked like soccer. 

“I’m watching football, what does it look like?” She didn’t take her eyes off the screen as she reached for the beer bottle on the coffee table. 

Jake didn’t know how to respond. He knew what soccer was, he wasn’t an idiot but he never knew that his girl enjoyed the sport. 

“Soccer, baby. It’s called soccer.” 

Jake knew it was the wrong thing to say as she turned around, an unimpressed look on her face. 

“I’m going to forgive you this time. But in the future, for your information, it’s called football. Not your ridiculous term soccer.” She was all business, a sharp edge to her tone that Jake hadn’t really experienced in their relationship so far. 

There was a sparkle in her eyes that told him she wasn’t as serious as her tone suggested though. Jake flopped down on the couch next to her, plucking the beer out of her hands. “Is this MLS?” 

She snorted, rolling her eyes as she looked him up and down. “MLS is a shit league. It only got interesting since Messi signed for Inter Miami and it’s still shit. You know, we call it the retirement league because it’s where all the greats come to wind down and just kick around.” 

“Hey!” Jake protested. “Doesn’t it have a somewhat good reputation?”

She shook her head. “Baby, I love you but you’ve been greatly deceived.” She patted his cheek, opening another beer, seeing as he had stolen hers. 

Jake grumbled, sinking lower into the couch. Granted, his soccer knowledge was limited but he thought that MLS at least was a popular league. 

“What’s this then?” He pointed to the screen where the game was playing. 

His girl clapped excitedly, tossing the cap onto the table. “This is the greatest league in the world. I give you the Premier League.” She dramatically spread her arms, as if showing him something of great importance. 

In a way, Jake guessed that she was. He had no idea she was this passionate about this but he found it endearing that she did. 

“I recognise that, it’s England, yeah?” Jake was 80% certain he was right but he could also be wrong. Like he said, his knowledge of soccer was limited. 

“Yes! PL is played in England and it’s hands down the most popular and watched league. But there’s obviously others as well.” 

He was a bit intrigued and Jake also wanted to know more about something that made his girl this excited. “Others?” 

“Oh, you’ve got La Liga for example, and Ligue 1. And then there’s Serie A and Bundesliga. My dad used to watch a lot of Eredivisie too. He was a lifelong fan of Ajax.” She quieted down a bit at the end, a sad smile on her face as she remembered her dad. 

Jake pressed a kiss to her shoulder, hand finding hers. He gave a supportive squeeze. He understood now why this was so important to her. 

“Did you guys watch a lot together?” He asked as the game seemingly was paused, the players leaving the field. 

“Yeah. He took me to my first game when I was 4. I barely remember it but I remember the feeling. And he coached my team for as long as I played.” 

That surprised Jake. “You used to play?” It wasn’t something that had come up but he guessed it was somewhat of a sore subject. 

“From the age of five til I was fifteen, maybe sixteen,” she paused. “Uh, I quit playing when he got sick. He wanted me to continue but it just wasn’t the same. It was our thing and then all of a sudden he wasn’t there and..” 

Jake pulled her into his arms, lips pressed to her forehead. “Baby, why haven’t you told me about this before? I would have loved to know more about football if I knew it meant this much to you.” 

She smiled when he called it football and Jake counted it as a small victory. “I honestly don’t know. You’re more of an American football fan and I just figured you didn’t care about this.” 

“I would have cared if you told me. Hell, I know you don’t really care about the Cowboys but you still hang out with me when they play. And wear the jersey.” 

She laughed then, leaning back from his embrace but kept their hands intertwined. “I wear the jersey because I know it gets you all hot and bothered.”

“Well, that’s definitely a perk. You do look very good in blue.” Jake kissed her then, hands sneaking under her shirt to trace her skin. 

She was blushing when they pulled apart and Jake grinned, proud to be the one to make her that way. 

“So is Ajax your team?” He asked, playing with the hem of her shirt. 

“No. As much as I respect and enjoy Dutch football, the Premier League always called to me more. And then I fell in love with Manchester United.” 

Jake’s eyebrows shot up, teasingly pinching her sides. “Fell in love, huh? That means I got competition?” 

She rolled her eyes, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you for the Red Devils.” 

“Good. Is this them then?” He gestured towards the screen, where the game had resumed. 

“No, they play Aston Villa tomorrow. This is Newcastle vs Arsenal.” 

Jake watched as the team in black and white kicked the ball back and forth. “Okay, you’re going to have to explain this to me. I know nothing.” 

She launched into the game, explaining what was happening as well as informing him about the rules and terms. Jake tried his best to keep up but figured he was going to have to do some independent studying to catch up. 

If this was important to his girl, it was important to him. He watched as she kept on talking, gesturing back and forth with her hands, eyes alight with excitement. 

“But there must be leagues outside of Europe, yeah?” He asked after learning that the ones she had rambled off earlier were all based in European countries. 

“For sure, but those are the most popular ones. And considering how much of an impact the Champions League, Europa League and Conference League have, it’s difficult for leagues outside of Europe to compete.” 

Jake’s mind was reeling, trying to piece all the information together. “Wait, Europa League and Champions League? Conference? Where’s that?” 

“All of those are played by teams in Europe. You qualify for UCL when you win your league in your country, and the second tier goes on to play in the UEL and third tier in UECL.” At Jake’s confused expression, she smiled apologetically. 

“Sorry, this is way overboard. How about we keep that for another day and we just keep to the basics for now?” 

Jake breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes please.”

She handed him another beer, smiling softly. 

“So, do I get a Manchester United jersey? It’s only fair, I got you a Cowboys one.” Jake asked. 

He was comfortably leaning back against the armrest of the couch. Initially he had tried to get her to snuggle with him but quickly found out that she wasn’t going to sit still while watching the game. 

“Babe, you’ll get a jersey when you deserve one. Maybe earlier if you can explain the offside rule to me.”  

He was screwed then. “Never mind. I’ll wait.” 

“It’s really not that difficult. A player would be seen as offside if their entire body is in front of the last defender of the opposing team, on the opposing team's half.” 

Jake tried to imagine what it would look like but his mind came up blank. “You’re just speaking gibberish, that doesn’t make sense.”

She smiled softly, a gleam in her eye. “Don’t worry, I’ll make you a football fan. Just you wait.”

“I can’t wait. I’m also very excited to see you watch your team play.” 

The game was now over and she climbed into his lap, hands finding the back of his head. “Oh, you’re in for a wild ride.” 

Making the most of their position, Jake grabbed a hold of her thighs as he stood up, ignoring her squeal as he headed towards the bedroom. “How about I give you a ride right now?” 

Two months later, when Jake officially got the offside rule right, a package was waiting for him on the kitchen table when he got home. 

His heart swelled as he pulled out a bright red Manchester United jersey, embroidered with his callsign on the back. There was a note inside the box as well and Jake laughed as he read what his girlfriend had written. 

Now you’re a real football fan. Glory glory Man United! 

Ps. Come find me ;) 

“You’re playing a dangerous game, sweetheart.” He called, jersey in hand as he stalked the house. 

Her laughter echoed through the house. “Come claim your prize, cowboy.”

Taglist: @wildbornsiren​ @ryebecca @imjess-themess @reels-and-wheels @antiquitea @writercole @hederasgarden @yanna-banana @bobfloydsbabe @hollandorks @anniesocsandgeneralstore @ereardon @luminousnotmatter @roosterscock @thedroneranger @fandomxpreferences @honkytonk-hangman @princessmisery666 @bradshawsbitch​ @a-reader-and-a-writer @green-socks @angstybluejay @seresinhangmanjake @ayorooster​@notroosterbradshaw​ @indynerdgirl @gigisimsonmars @girl-in-the-chairs-void @bradshawbabes @unhinged-btch @horseshoegirl @sadpetalsstuff @bradshawbaby @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @ummjustfics​ @septemberrie​ @somenamewithepineapple​ @seresinsweetie​​ @crescentwolf​ @seresinhangmanjake​ @waklman​ @roosterforme​ @rosiahills22​ @dempy​ @i0veless​ @ilovewriting06​ @kmc1989​ @demxters @amortentiadrops @teacupsandtopgun @hangmanscoming @hangmanssunnies

[cheolhub]

YOU GET ME SO HIGH — VERNON CHWE ࿐

summary. smoking with your best friend (who you totally don’t have a crush on) is super fun till all you can think about is him… well, doing him, to be more specific.

wc. 6.2k

warnings. recreational marijuana use!!, dubcon (kinda? sex while high), bf2l + idiots to lovers, kinda fluffy!! weed is referred to as ‘green crack’ several times lol, fingering, hehe big d!ck!vernon, mentions of masturbation, unprotected sex, pet names (baby), brief tit worship, naked confessions, vernon is kinda shy, jealous, nervous & rlly likes boobs and reader is v needy lol <3— MINORS DNI 18+

note. havent seen anyone write for vernon in like 3 years so here’s my lowkey cringey, poorly-written, self-indulgent fic that i was supposed to post for his birthday 2 months ago ++ guest appearance from weed dealer!cheol bc yeah :3

if you had told vernon that his best friend was someone he’d met in a biology lab–one that he was accidentally put into his freshmen year– he’d say you were a liar. nonetheless, it’s true– you’re his best friend and you have been for years now. in your fourth and final year of university, you still sit on the balcony of your apartment with him like you have every other day for the past three.

“happy birthday, vernon,” you smile cheekily, passing him a snack-size ziplock baggie. “i got you an eighth since you’re always begging to smoke my shit.” 

he laughs and gives you a lazy smile, “Y/N, my birthday was over two months ago… plus, you know you didn’t have to get me anything.”

you scoff, rolling your eyes, “hansol vernon chwe, you are my best friend, of course i had to. and… i was waiting for a few of my checks to hit, that's why it’s a belated birthday gift.” you take his hand, placing the bag into it. “now take it and don’t smoke it all in a day, got it?”

he nods, eyes softening, “thank you,” he says. “must’ve cost your broke ass a fortune, though, so next time– don’t get me anything.”

you giggle at the joke that’s actually, not really a joke. “i really don’t think you have any room to speak– who here has a real job?” 

he rolls his eyes, “my job is real, thank you very much.”

you chuckle, shaking your head. “reselling limited edition vinyls for seven times what you bought them for isn’t a job, vernon, that’s called being a dick.” you tell him. “and actually, the prices weren’t too bad. cheol gave me a discount.”

vernon almost visibly clenches at the name of your awfully-sweet dealer. though he can attest, cheol is only ever sweet to you. every time he’s bought from your favorite supplier, he’s been a total asshole and upcharges him for no reason which is one of the basis’ why he’s always smoking your stuff. you always tell him it’s karma for selling records at such a high price, but vernon begs to differ. he knows that cheol just doesn’t like him and he has a gut feeling that it’s because of you. 

“oh yeah? how’d you get him to do that?” he asks, but he’s pretty sure he knows the answer. the answer being cheol has a thing for you.

you bite your lip, looking over your apartment balcony. “mmm, he showed up here while i was… you know…playing around…and…”

vernon knows you well enough to finish your sentence for you. “masturbating?”

“vernon, be modest!” you whine, hiding your face in your hands. “you knew, you didn’t have to say it!” 

he chuckles, “it’s normal, Y/N, we all do it. no need to be embarrassed over it.”

it’s true. everyone does it. but not everyone masturbates thinking about their best friend. he thinks that might just be him. 

“yeah, but you’ve probably never done it thinking you’d be finished before your hot drug dealer shows up at your apartment.” you blush. vernon doesn’t say anything for a while and you’re afraid you’ve made him feel uncomfortable (even though he claims you never have). you bite the insides of your cheeks before uttering, “can you pack a joint or something?”

truthfully, vernon doesn’t mean to be so quiet. he’s just trying to imagine you in that state without letting his dick get hard, though it’s proving to be extremely difficult. you probably looked so pretty in cute short shorts and a shirt that you could see your nipples through. or worse, you were wearing a tank top that was snuggly wrapped around your torso where you could see everything. he wants to be a gentleman, wants to be respectful… but, god, your tits are out of this world.

he hums trying to rid the dirty images in his head, taking your box of goods to grab the grinder and paper cones. “finish your story.” he urges.

you look at him, searching for signs of discomfort, but there is only that stoic look he always wore. with a sigh, you continue, “anyway, i was… you know… and he texted me and said he was here– i was a mess–”

he can imagine.

“–and i think he could tell ‘cuz when i got down to his car i was so disheveled and was about to start crying. i literally looked like i got edged or something,” you mumble, twiddling your thumbs out of embarrassment.

you’re painting a picture for vernon and he has to bite back a groan. 

it’s not the first time you and vernon had talked about sexual things. there had been several conversations on the topic. he knew almost everything about you except for… you know… what you tasted like and how tight you are– his vivid imagination couldn’t give him all of those pleasures. 

“and, vernon, i kid you not, he literally knew. he was all smug and shit,” you groan. “it was kinda humiliating.”

you remember how much wetter you’d gotten the moment you slipped into his car. he was calling you all types of things– all types of pretty pet names–and you’re genuinely surprised it didn’t escalate further because the sexual tension was heavy.

“and then i told him i wanted a quarter– an eighth for me and an eighth for you– and he told me he’d give me a special strain of sativa for half the normal price.”

vernon’s eyes widened, “half the price?”

“that’s what i said!” you exclaim. “pretty sure it’s because he could see my tits… i wasn’t wearing the best outfit …”

of-fucking-course he could see your tits. vernon holds back a groan, seeing as his suspicions about you in a tank top that night was right. instead, he chuckles airly. “now who needs to be modest.”

“stooop, just grind the weed.” you cry. 

vernon does as you ask, muttering, “maybe he laced it.”

“cheol wouldn’t, i’m pretty sure he just likes me.” you humbly reply, shooting daggers at your best friend for even suggesting that. “plus the strain was called ‘green crack’ or something like that… it was from the ‘st. patty’s day special.’”

“saint patrick’s day was like 4 weeks ago.”

“well then he was either trying to get rid of it or my tits must’ve made him feel generous.” you joke, giggling a bit at vernon’s poker face.

vernon is hiding it really well, but he’s filled with so much annoyance. your stupid dealer doesn’t deserve to see you like that. hell, vernon doesn’t even think he deserves to see you like that, but, fuck, he wants to. so badly. seeing you all hot and bothered with your tits on full display would be a dream come true. 

“would you fuck him for free weed?” he asks all of a sudden, making you blush furiously. he knows now that he doesn’t want to hear your answer when your mouth parts in shock. 

“vernon! what kinda girl do you take me for?” you put your hand over your chest as if it’s something you wouldn’t do. you break your facade when he gives you a knowing look, mouth cracking into a grin. “probably, i dunno. he’s kinda scary but i feel like he knows how to please a woman– i can’t say the same about a lot of other men.”

he internally rolls his eyes. cheol doesn’t know you the way he does. vernon could please you, he knows he can. 

he switches the subject back to the packed joint in his hands to keep from spiraling. “wanna spark it?”

you shake your head with a hum, “mmh-mmh, belated birthday boy gets the first few hits.”

he smiles, pulling the joint to his lips taking the lighter, igniting it with the pressure of his thumb. he lets the flame burn carefully through the paper, inhaling a large rush of smoke. he holds it in for a bit before he blows it out– away from your face– creating a white, potent-smelling cloud.

you reminisce while watching him. your balcony is like home to you and vernon. contrary to your neighbor's beliefs, smoking isn’t the only thing you do. you laugh and cry and talk for hours about people you hate and people you love. sometimes, you’ll do homework out here and when vernon is bored at his own place, he’ll come over to yours to keep you company. he provides a comforting presence and never-ending encouragement while reminding you to take breaks.

 it’s where you told him about your puppy crush on soonyoung from your statistics class and it’s where he told you about how he awkwardly lost his virginity to a girl during orientation week. it’s where the two of you are always together– it’s kinda like your place.

and watching him after all these years, you’ve never really realized how attractive your best friend was. well, that’s a lie. you’ve always thought vernon was likely one of the prettiest men to ever walk the earth, but if you truly admitted that, then you’d have to admit to the other things. things like how kind and considerate he is and how he’s boyfriend potential and how you totally don’t have any type of feelings for him whatsoever. it’s not a crush, you constantly have to remind yourself, it’s admiration for your best friend. there’s a difference.

but those admirable traits are things you can’t think about because he doesn’t see you that way. there’s no reason why you should see him that way if it’s not reciprocated. it only makes sense and prevents brutal rejection from the most perfect man on earth, aka your best friend. 

but your not-crush manifests itself sometimes. like when he smiles at you or when he randomly places his headphones over your head and tells you to “listen to this song” or when he spends the night in your bed because he’s too lazy to drive home. it gets harder and harder to hide every day. 

he passes the joint to you with an even lazier grin and you take it, parroting his actions. you let the smoke fill your lungs, hold it there, and exhale, shutting your eyes just as he did. 

and vernon thinks you look like a goddess. how could you make a simple action seem so attractive?

you take your hits, passing the joint back and forth till it suddenly hits you. all at once, you feel your body start to ache, your tummy flipping in anticipation, your mind fogging over leaving your entirety to buzz. you shift a bit and you feel your cunt dampen causing you to let out a sharp exhale.

“you good?” vernon asks, his deep voice filling your ears.

then you look at him. like… actually look at him. his face is a bit tired, his eyes red from the weed coursing his system, and his hair a bit disheveled from running his hand through it too much (this is why he wears the beanies)-- nevertheless, he looks fucking fantastic. 

your usual munchies are replaced with strong, burning sexual desire. just at the sight of your best friend, your pussy is soaking through your panties and your shorts.

“‘sol,” you murmur out the nickname. “do you feel… different?” you ask, eyes fluttering and lips parting.

you’re truly unaware of how seductive you look and how it’s slowly taking years off his life. vernon has been rock hard in his sweats for a solid 15 minutes now. and, yes, he feels extremely different. turned on to say the very least. 

“mmm, a little,” more like a lot. “maybe it’s the strain you got,” he mumbles, implying what he had said earlier was true.

it makes sense that cheol provided you with a strain that feels like you’re smoking a fucking aphrodisiac, but you’re starting to wish you were alone so you could at least do something about it. 

for a split second, you think you might be fine, then you’re hit with yet another wave of arousal, your core pulsing at the ideas that are incessantly popping into your head. ideas of him taking you right now, sitting on his face, sinking onto his cock– it’s too much. 

“vernon,” you say breathily and he freezes, pulling the joint away from his lips. “i… i think…”

you try to think about how to kick him out kindly so you can have some much-needed alone time, but you can’t– you can only think about having alone time with him. alone time that leads to shoving his hand down your pants. 

stop, you tell your hazy brain.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asks, scooting closer to you. 

his scent floods your senses– a mix of weed and his cologne causing sensory overload in your poor brain and aching core. 

he’s internally worried that you’re greening out. though it doesn’t happen as much as it did when you first started smoking, there are rare occasions when you take more than you can handle. 

“c-can… you do me a favor?”

“‘course, anything.”

“vernon… it… i…need your help.” you whimper, leaning into him. “please…feels like ‘m gonna die.”

you’re being dramatic. 

he furrows his brows in confusion, panic becoming apparent on his features. “what hurts, Y/N? how can i help you?”

you take his hand in yours, slowly guiding him to the ache in your body. you gasp when his warm fingers come in contact with your clothed cunt. “here… it hurts here.” you exhale.

vernon has definitely lost it. his hand is between your thighs and your smaller one has moved to tightly wrap around his wrist. you’re a mess– he can feel it. he can feel the warmth radiating from your core, he can feel how you’ve soaked through your panties and how it’s seeped through the thin pair of shorts. he’s holding his breath and he fears he may pass out before getting a chance to touch you like you deserve. 

“y-you’re not in your right mind, Y/N,” he whispers, afraid his voice may betray him. “you smoked too–”

“uh-uh, it’s okay– vernon, it’s okay, i want you… please,” you whimper, grip around his wrist tightening as you buck your hips slightly for more friction. 

you want him. you… want him. 

“but–”

you’re growing frustrated, “if you won’t… then i-i think you should go ‘cuz i need… i need to be alone.”

vernon takes this as an implication that you need to fuck yourself if he won’t fuck you and he’ll be damned if he’s not the one making you see stars. 

so, he asks one more time, “Y/N… are you sure?”

“yes… yes, ‘m sure. ‘m so sure, please, ‘sol,” you beg, using the nickname that makes him fold every time. 

he doesn’t hold back, putting out the joint in his hand and leaving it in the ashtray. his now-free hand cups your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. you moan, eagerly allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth as your hands needily fist at his shirt. 

despite having smoked, vernon’s lips are soft. softer than the lips of men you’ve kissed before. and he still tastes good even with the pungent lemony flavor lingering on his tongue– overwhelmingly good. it seems that he’s just as eager and turned on as you are, too, nearly devouring you whole. you can’t help but fall in love with the heated, now-sloppy kiss.

and vernon truly feels like he’s died and gone to heaven. he’s not sure if this is even real or if the weed has him hallucinating… it wouldn’t be the first time, but you biting down on his bottom lip has him coming back to earth and lets him know that you’re real. that you are very much real and very much grinding on his fingers desperately. 

“vernon,” you pant, pulling him closer by the shirt in your grip. “please, more— feels good, but i need more.” your hazy eyes look into his and you see how they’ve darkened.

“fuck, Y/N,” he groans and his voice has you clenching around nothing. “we need to go inside…”

you’re both sure that this might ruin your relationship, but you decide it’ll be a problem for tomorrow. right now, all either of you can think about is getting off on each other. 

that’s why you’re quick to stand on your feet, holding out your hand for him to take. when he stands, grunting, you pull him into your apartment and leave all of your goods on the balcony without a second thought. 

you drag him to your room before attacking him with another kiss and pulling at the ends of his shirt. you’re a bit disoriented, swaying and stumbling over your steps, but when your legs hit the bed and you nearly fall, vernon’s quick to catch you by the waist. 

“careful,” he murmurs, gently laying you on the plush mattress. you scoot to the head of the bed, laying on your back as you wait for him. 

he takes your expectant face as a sign to remove his clothing and he does so quickly, knowing how impatient you are at this very moment. his shirt comes off and then his sweats, leaving him in boxers where his bulge becomes… apparent.

you have to hold your breath at the dizzying sight of his naked torso and the massive tent in his underwear.

you make grabby hands at him, urging him to come take care of you on the bed. he obliges, getting on your bed, hovering over you while his own head spins. he’s truly unsure if this is actually his real life or if he’s having a dream sent from the gods above. 

he decides not to wait any longer, taking control of the situation by placing his lips on your heated neck. his lips trail down, leaving sloppy, wet kisses on your skin, reveling in how you desperately whimper for him though he’s barely doing anything. 

his hands reach for the hem of your loose top– one that might actually be his– pushing it up and tugging it over your head and arms, leaving your chest bare before him. he groans before diving to your tits, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples, sucking and tugging at the bud hungrily. 

you gasp at the sight. you’ve never seen vernon so eager to do anything in the time you’ve known him and now he’s making out with your tits as if it were his last day on earth. 

that’s hot, you think to yourself. so hot– you’re so fucking hot right now.

you can’t see it, but you feel his hand come down to your sleep shorts, digging in past the elastic band of both the satin fabric and your cotton undies. his fingers dip into your lips, running them through your soaked folds. 

“you’re so wet.” he hisses. 

you whine at the contact, apologizing softly, “‘m sorry– can’t help it.” 

his fingers find your hole, circling it before easing two of them inside. “don’t apologize, baby. it’s really hot.” he whispers, the pet name slipping past his lips without completely registering. 

you clench and moan at the domestic name. “fuck, ‘sol,” you whimper. “a-again… call me that again…”

his face burns, whispering out, “you like when i call you ‘baby?’” 

knowing vernon, it was meant to sound like a genuine question, but being in the state you’re in, it sounds so seductive… so enticing that it has your back arching. you nod your head, an even darker blush falling over your already-red cheeks. 

you let out a clipped, “yes.” and he just moans, thrusting his fingers in and out faster, digits stretching your tight, gummy walls out to prepare you for his cock. 

he wonders how you could be so tight because, holy fuck, you’re squeezing around his fingers like you’re trying to trap them in there. 

you whine softly, “vernon, please give me more…”

he definitely just fucking died. 

his cock twitches uncontrollably in his boxers, begging to be set free, but he decides to give you another finger instead. vernon knows he’s… a bit on the bigger side, and judging by how you feel right now, there’s absolutely no way he’ll easily fit inside of you. the last thing he wants to do is hurt you. 

so he slowly pulls his hand out of your shorts and helps you out of them. he throws them to the side and has you spread open. he huffs at the sight before taking three of his fingers back to your hole. he pushes them in gently, groaning at the tighter fit. your moans are bouncing off the walls and vernon looks up to see your mouth hung open with your head thrown back against your pillow. 

he checks on you, throat dry at the sound, sight, and feeling of you. “i-is… are you doing okay?” and when you just whine, he bites the inside of his cheek anxiously. he remembers your fondness for the pet names from a few minutes prior, so he tries again. “baby… does it feel good?”

and he’s not sure what to expect, but when your body jolts and your hand's fist at the sheets, you get even tighter, clenching around his fingers desperately. you really do have an affinity for being called ‘baby.’ 

your brain is jumbled, intoxicated from the weed and his fat fingers stretching your cunt open. “‘m okay… f-feels so good.” you tell him breathily with a whine bubbling in the back of your throat at the feeling of his fingers pushing further into you. “fuck, vernon– it’s so good.”

and it’s true, you don’t think you’ve ever experienced pleasure this intense before, but you remember your senses are heightened by 10 because of the drug. that ‘green crack’ is insane.

he moans at the confirmation, curling his fingers up and fucking your messy cunt, the palm of his hand bumping against your clit with every thrust. he feels a rush of your honeyed arousal soaking his fingers and he swears he might cum before he can even get his cock in you. 

you gasp loudly when you feel his pace quicken, eyes squeezing shut. an array of mewls and high-pitched whines shamelessly slip past your lips. “oh! fuck, i’m close, i’m so close, vernon.” you warn, wet walls clamping around his curled fingers.

he exhales sharply, voice low when he urges you, “cum for me, baby.”

his voice and harsh thrusts are more than enough to throw you over the edge, stomach knots unraveling. you gush all over his big fingers, pussy pulsing as it’s doing its best to push his digits out, but he continues his ministrations to work you through your blinding orgasm.

feeling you cum may have been the best thing life has offered him. 

“fuck, that’s it– are you okay? did that feel good?” he asks breathily, pulling out his fingers, a string of arousal connected to your hole following them out. he bites his lip at the sight, keeping a moan bottled up. he wants to taste you so bad… and the cum on his fingers taunt him. 

you nod your head, still panting, “w-was so good, y-you’re really good… don’t usually cum that fast…”

“really?”

you shake your head, “t-told you that guys don’t really know what they’re doing most of the time.”

he shakes his head in disapproval, “well… you deserve the best.” 

“... like you?” your heart races and the weed from earlier still lingers like a cloud over your brain. you look at him, the soft light from the moon illuminating his flawless skin. your eyes trail down his torso, eyes landing on the big bulge in his boxers again. 

he chokes, masking the sound with a nervous chuckle, “me? i-i’m not…no.” your eyes widen, realizing you’ve completely misread him, feeling panic flood your body. you quickly shut your legs, arms coming to cover your bare chest. 

he’s quick to notice that you’re starting to spiral, though, so he re-registers what you said and then what he said and his eyes widen, too. his words come out rushed as he attempts to do damage control. “no! not no, as in i don’t see you in that way, but no because you deserve the best and…”

“but… you are the best, ‘sol…” you tell him softly, hugging yourself tighter. “and before you say anything, the weed is wearing off– think you finger-fucked it out of me,” you joke to lighten the mood, but when you see he’s still frozen, you internally cringe at yourself, continuing. “i’m being serious. i’m in my right mind and i’m telling you that you’re the best because you are. you always have been.”

he shudders nervously, “Y/N… don’t.”

you frown at him, turning your head away to look at your window instead, mentally face-palming yourself. “did i make it awkward again?” you ask nervously. you don’t even wait for his response, continuing your anxious ramble. “can you just forget i said anything? and that i made you do this? i…i don’t wanna lose you– i never want to lose you.” you whisper. “you’re my best friend.”

he shakes his head incessantly as if he’s trying to tell you something with the simple action, but you aren’t even looking at him, so he takes a deep, shaky breath. “no, you didn’t make me do anything. i just mean don’t say things like that if you don’t really like me because i…” he trails off and you turn back to look at him, concerned by his sudden halt. “Y/N, i… like you. so much. i have for forever now, but you were always talking about soonyoung or cheol and then there was that whole thing with that pretentious art kid– minghao, i think– i dunno.”

what!?

you look at him incredulously, eyes wide and lips parted in genuine shock, “why didn’t you tell me…?”

he sighed, hands coming to rest on your thighs. “it seemed like i never really had a chance… you’re my best friend, too… and i didn’t want to lose you either.”

you sit up, exclaiming, “but you’ve liked me this entire time and i didn’t even know?!”

he gives you a small grin and a shrug, “what can i say? i’m discreet.”

you scoff, sitting in silence for a few seconds before opening your mouth again. with your voice meek, you say.“i wish you would’ve told me.” you inhale sharply, continuing to hug yourself tightly. “i like you, too, you know… i just didn’t think you liked me back so i tried to not like you– which is really hard, by the way, because you’re annoyingly pretty.”

“sorry, i’ll try to stop being so pretty.”

you playfully slap his bare chest, “i actually hate you so much.”

he jokingly sulks, placing a hand over where you hit him. “aw, baby, you just said you liked me.”

you shudder, body naturally leaning into him as your mind gravitates back to your not-so-innocent thoughts. “i do… and i’d like you a little more if you kept calling me that.”

his breath hitches as you get closer and closer, “yeah?”

“mhm…”

he whispers against your lips, a cheeky smile on his, “you’re such a baby.”

“you’re so mean,” you hum, letting your lips graze his. “am i not your baby?”

he rests his forehead against yours and looks into your eyes for any sign of playfulness. you seem to be serious so he asks, “is that what you want?” he’s nervous you can hear the way his heart is about to pound out of his chest. 

“duh… idiot.”

“okay, cool.” he says nonchalantly even though he’s internally freaking out. “you’re my baby.”

your heart skips a beat and your cunt dampens again at the title, “okay, cool.” you parrot casually as if your heart wasn’t about to lurch out of your chest. “you can… kiss me. if you want…”

vernon utters a soft ‘right’ before finally closing the gap between the two of you. his lips mold to yours and you know for a fact that there is no one else on earth you’d want to kiss. his big hand comes to cup your cheek and you melt under the touch, mouth opening for him to slip his tongue into. 

naturally, the kiss heats up and before long, you’re whining into his mouth, hand blindly reaching for his clothed cock. he groans the second you find the aching hard-on, nimble hands stroking him through his boxers. 

“Y/N,” he pants breathily in between kisses. “are you… sure you wanna… do this?”

you think it’s sweet that he keeps checking on you, and sure, you’re still a bit fuzzy from the after-effects of the ‘green crack’, but you need him to give you what you want. so you nod, breaking from the kiss to lay back in your original position under him. 

“please fuck me, baby,” you beg in the most sultry voice you can conjure up. when he stays frozen, you pout. “hansol, please.”

he curses, quickly getting his boxers off and revealing the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen. precum beads at the slit of his flushed tip and prominent veins run through the length. he’s so big, surely enough to have you see stars. you’re starting to feel grateful that he prepped you because his dick would have completely ruined you without it.

“‘s big.” you simply state, bottom lip finding sanctum in between your teeth as you gawk at it. 

“you think so?” he gives you a wobbly smile, stomach-churning at the subtle praise. he moves in between your thighs and spreads you out for him. “is it okay?”

you blush, nodding your head, “mhm, don’t worry,” you tell him. “i’ll let you know if i need you to stop.” 

he nods, huffing softly, “do you have any condoms?”

you chuckle breathily. “not for your size… but it’s okay, i’m clean and safe. you don’t need one. you can pull out if it makes you feel better.”

his throat runs dry– fuck, fuck, fuck. he’s fucking you raw?! how the hell is he supposed to last hitting it raw?! you were already tight around three of his fingers and he can’t even imagine how you’d feel wrapped around his cock.

he realizes he hasn’t replied in a few seconds when you say his name softly. he sees you growing restless under him and he apologizes and nods again dumbly. 

he runs his tip through your folds, moaning when he finds you’re just as wet as you were earlier. he aligns himself with your leaky hole, slowly pushing himself inside of you with a groan to find that you’re still so fucking tight.

you’ve found that, despite vernon’s laid-back and chill personality, he’s quite loud in bed. he’s nothing like you expected and you’re pleasantly surprised. 

when his cock slides in between your tight walls, the both of you are instantly a mess, panting and moaning in pleasure. your walls envelop him so snugly that you fear the thick veins that adorn his length will imprint into them.

“fuck, vernon.” you moan, praying the burn in your pussy melts to pleasure soon so he can fuck you the way you want it. the way you need it. . “your cock.”  

he hisses, pushing in past the resistance. “you feel so good, baby, oh my god.” he grunts, head falling back at the way you hug him. “god, i’ve wanted this for so long– wanted you for so long.”

you cry, clenching around his girth because, god, you’ve wanted him, too.

when he finally bottoms out, you both pause to take erratic breaths, positively going feral over each other. he attempts to recollect himself and check up on you again. “are you–”

you don’t even let him finish, nodding your head vigorously. “yes, vernon, just need you to move, please.” you plead. “need you to fuck me– please, need it so fucking bad.”

you’re so needy for him and he knows it’s because of the last bit of weed that looms, but he can’t help but wonder if you’re like this on a normal day. if you’re always begging for a cock to fill you up. not that it would matter– he’d do anything you asked of him. you’re so fucking pretty to him and his brain is constantly yelling at him to cater to every single one of your wishes. the chokehold you have him in is so tight. 

tight like your pretty cunt that’s now gracefully swallowing his cock with every thrust of his hips. your room is full of panting, moans, and the lewd squelch of your wet pussy taking him. it sounds better than any song he’s ever heard and, if he’s being completely transparent, he hopes to experience this for the rest of his life.

vernon unexpectedly comes down, craning his neck to latch his mouth around your nipples again, stimulating you there, too. you’re sure the position is a bit straining, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he moans loudly into your chest. his hand plays with the other nipple, switching every minute to give both of them love and attention all while his cock steadily rams in and out of you. 

your hands tangle in his hair, smothering his face into your tits while he moans and whines some more into them. 

and when he adjusts slightly and his tip hits that spot, the one that makes you crumble in seconds, a sob wracks through your entire body.

“there! shit, baby, right there, please.” you gasp, back arching into him. 

vernon asks breathily, removing his face from the comfortable spot on your chest, “there? that’s it?” 

and you nod, chest rising and falling at a rapid pace as you feel the pressure build-up at the bottom of your tummy. he continues to hit the spongy spot inside of you, bringing you closer and closer. 

his own face is pinched and he can’t stop the soft whines that come out of his mouth. you just feel fucking amazing. 

“a-are you close? i’m not gonna last long.” he pants out. 

and you weakly sob out a reply of ‘yes,’ hand moving to toy with your swollen clit. the action immediately has the tightrope inside of you coming undone for the second time in the night. you mewl out his name, clamping around him tightly and coating his cock in slick cum. 

it’s like a chain reaction that has vernon cursing and pulling his dick out of you. he eagerly fists at his cock, jerking himself off till he releases all over your puffy pussy. he’s moaning softly, prettily calling out your name. his heart pounds rapidly and his entire body twitches at the feeling of release. 

his eyes finally open after a few seconds of trying to regulate his breathing. he sees the way your cunt is dressed in white and how you're slowly, but surely, coming down from both of your highs. 

“hey,” he whispers. 

“hi,” you mumble, eyes fluttering open. your hands reach for him and he can’t help but find you so cute. “c’mere.”

he smiles, leaning down to kiss you again. unlike your past few kisses, it’s soft and innocent. loving. he parts after a minute or so, hand moving to sweep the hair out of your face. 

“are you sure you’re alright?” he whispers. “i feel kinda bad…”

“don’t, ‘sol, i wanted it. i’m really happy.” you tell him sincerely. “are you alright?”

he sighs, “i’m really happy, too… i just wish i would’ve taken you out on a date or something before… fucking you.” 

you shake your head, “we did it kinda backwards, but, seriously, i’m just happy you’re here… happy that you’re mine.” he blushes, moving to hide his face in your neck while you giggle. “if you wanna, we can go on a date now?”

“where?” he mumbles into your neck.

“7/11– channie’s working so that means free big gulps and rollers… you know, since some of us can’t afford to eat real food because of their ‘job.’”

vernon scoffs, pulling his face out of your neck and giving you a stern look. “dude, it’s a real job–”

you laugh, effectively cutting him off. “okay, scammer– if it’s a real job, why are you always stealing my fucking weed instead of buying your own?” 

“because weed is scarce these days and your bitch ass dealer hates me– why should i have to pay $20 for a gram when you only pay $5?” he nearly cries. “and, since we’re on the topic, i don’t like him. he’s too friendly with you.” that’s code for “he obviously wants to fuck you.”

“you’re jealous of cheol!”

he groans, rolling his eyes, a tiny pout appearing on his face, “so what if i am?”

you coo, “aw, baby,” hand coming to cup his blushy cheek. “you don’t have to worry about him,” you relay to him, voice laced with sincerity. “you’re the only one i want.”

he goes a little bug-eyed at your words before clearing his throat and nodding. “good. that’s good.” 

you raise an eyebrow, “just good?” 

“no… it’s great…” he mumbles cutely. “you’re also the only one i want.”

© cheolhub — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

[mrsbrookemunson]

I've seen a few stories about the reader being Eddie's secret admirer but what about the other way around? Eddie is your secret admirer and leaves you little notes in your locker. He praises you and encourages you-- maybe a little pick-me-up when you're feeling down. Occasionally he'll slip small gifts into your backpack. Anything to see you smile :)

I love this idea. This is going to be a little self-indulgent, not gonna lie.

Warnings: TOOTH. ROTTING. FLUFF. a lil angst, insecure reader, no use of pronouns, no use of 'y/n', Eddie's a little bit of an idiot, very low-key stalker!Eddie, Robin, mentions of unrequited feelings (it's rumored he likes Chrissy), not proofread so most likely grammar and spelling errors (sorry)

Word Count: 3923

Eddie Munson was absolutely enamored by you. He didn't quite know what it was that drew him to you. You weren't part of the popular crowd, you only had your small group of friends, and you always seemed to be so... self-conscious - or so he noticed.

Maybe that was where he got the idea in the first place.

He noticed you were especially quiet one day. Head down, headphones over your ears as you wrote seamlessly in your journal. He wondered what you were writing about, what you were listening to, and why you had a small frown etched onto your face.

Had someone said something to you?

You suddenly raised your hand.

His head snapped forward.

Had you caught him staring? Were you going to say something? Humiliate him? He pictured a thousand ways this could go.

"May I go to the restroom, please?" you asked, timidly.

But, that wasn't one of them.

"Quickly please..." the teacher granted.

You got up and walked out of the classroom. Eddie glanced over at your journal, a pen in between the pages, bookmarking where you left off. He bit his lip, concentrating on something before a lightbulb lit up in his mind. He glimpsed at the teacher than at the door before ripping a small piece of paper out of his notebook. His tongue ever-so-slightly poked out as he scribbled down something in a hurry before leaning over to slip it in between the pages of your journal.

The bell rang right when you stepped back into the classroom, giving Eddie the perfect opportunity to leave undetected. He smoothly slipped passed you, your shoulders brushing each other's. It sent sparks up through his body. The feeling lingered and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

He wanted to watch your reaction, but that would risk giving him away. He forced himself away, already planning his next plan of action.

You on the other hand were in shock.

Good job on the test. I saw you got an A. You're too smart for the rest of this school... and too pretty. - Love, your secret admirer &lt;3

Your eyebrows furrowed a little. Neither one of this person's statements were necessarily true. There were people way prettier than you here, not to mention smarter. But, nonetheless it was nice to hear. It brought a smile to your face, but it slowly fell.

Surely, this is a joke.

You were surprised to say the least the next morning when you opened your locker and a note fluttered down, out and onto the floor. You leaned down to pick it up and carefully looked around whilst standing upright. You unfolded the piece of paper.

Did I mention you were pretty in my last note? I did't mean to sound creepy - not to say you aren't pretty because you are very pretty, I could stare at you all day. Don't read that. - Love, your secret, not creepy, admirer :)

You giggled at the slight awkwardness the writing held. It was almost endearing. Key word: Almost. You still couldn't help but think this was some kind of joke.

"What's that?" Robin asked, pointing to the note in your hand.

"Wha-oh nothing!" You stuck it in your pocket.

"Oooo, does someone have a secret admirer?" she teased

"What?! No, that's-that's silly," you denied "It was just trash, something from an old assignment."

"Uh huh, sure."

"Robin!" you scolded, annoyed. "I'm being serious."

She put her hands up in surrender. "Whatever. You. Say."

You rolled your eyes, as the two of you began to walk side-by-side to your first period.

"But, if it is a secret admirer, who do you think it is? Who do you want it to be?"

"Look." You stopped walking, cuing Robin to also stop. "Even if it is something, it's probably a joke. One of the jocks playing some cruel prank on me." You glanced behind you and saw none other than Eddie Munson standing there staring at you. You smiled when you met his eyes.

His eyes widened a slight blush creeping up onto his cheeks, as he rushed off.

Robin caught the interaction. "What was that all about?" she asked, excitedly.

"Nothing!"

"What if it's him?"

"Who? Eddie?"

"Yes, Eddie!"

You shook your head. "No. That can't be possible, wasn't it rumored he liked Chrissy a couple of months ago?" You started to walk again.

"Firstly, that was a couple of months ago, and secondly, it was 'rumored'. It was never confirmed."

"Doesn't sound unreasonable to me," you said, not trying to sound too upset. "Guys like Eddie, don't like girls like me."

"You want it to be him, don't you?"

"Forget it, it's not important. What is important is the Econ test."

Robin groaned loudly, reluctantly stepping into the classroom. You turned back to where Eddie was previously standing and with a loud sigh you entered the classroom.

Eddie's eyes were glued to you in the cafeteria. You were cheerfully talking to Robin about something and his heart couldn't help but flutter at the way your eyes lit up. What he'd give to be able to talk with you, and listen to that sweet voice of yours for hours.

He watched, intently, as your eyes suddenly caught your reflection on something. He saw the way you slumped before attempting to sit up more. The grimace on your face growing more evident by the second.

Why the Hell were you looking at the love of his life that way?

He ripped out a piece of paper and wrote something down. Standing up, he stormed out of the cafeteria and to your locker where he slipped the note in. He scanned his surroundings and saw no one around to ruin the secret before it had really even started. Whistling, as he goes to his locker. He opened it when a note fell from it. He picked it up and read it.

Meet me in the woods at 12:15 tomorrow. Bring whatever you have. - C.C.

C.C.? His eyes widened in realization.

Chrissy Cunningham wants to do a drug deal?

You smiled, softly, when you saw your secret admirer had left you yet another note.

No matter what you think, you look absolutely beautiful today - and everyday. I like you in blue. - Love, your secret admirer &lt;3

You felt as though you were in a daze. You looked down at your blue sweater which - until now - you felt like a blimp in. Guess, whoever your secret admirer is thought otherwise. You bite your lip and tucked the note in between the pages of your journal where you'd keep - like all the rest of them - it there for safe keeping.

"Anymore love letters?" Robin asked, scaring you.

"Don't do that!" You put a hand over your heart as if it'd help slow it down from its rapid pace. "Yeah, if you consider them love letters."

"Do you want me to try to help you figure them out?"

"If you say-"

"I'll start. Eddie."

"Robin!" You slam your locker and walk away. "It's not him."

"Talk to him, be friendly, see what happens-hey, I might be right!"

"That would be the first."

"Hey!" She grabbed your shoulder to stop you. "I know it's really hard to be brave because you're scared of what the outcome could be, but think about it-if this person is being genuine, you might have something really special here."

You sigh. "I'll think about it, okay?"

Robin grins, widely. "Now, start with Eddie."

You roll your eyes. "Fine, but only to get you off my back, and cross him off the list."

It can't be him, it's impossible.

You sat down at your usual seat, now being awkwardly aware it's next to Eddie's seat. You pull out your journal, smiling when you see the note previous notes you've received. You turn back to your backpack to grab your pen but are surprised to see that there is a new set of pens next to your pencil bag. You pull it out and observe it. They were nice, really nice. One in blue, pink, red, black, orange, green, and purple. A note attached to them.

Thought you might like these since you write so much. I noticed you color code things sometimes so I bought you a couple of different colors to give you some options. Hope you like them - Love, your secret - now broke - admirer.

You laugh, pleasantly surprised. You remembered leaving your backpack on a chair in the cafeteria that morning while you used the bathroom. You tend to forget to go at home due oversleeping, leading to the frantic rush of trying to get ready in time.

Eddie perked up hearing the sound of your laughter beside him making him look over. His breath hitched in his throat - you liked his note, you liked him present, you were liking him. He cleared his throat. "What's that you got?"

You froze for a moment. "Huh?" You looked at Eddie.

He pointed toward the note. "Got a secret admirer or something?"

You bit back a smile. "Something like that." You couldn't hide your giddiness.

Eddie found it absolutely adorable. "Any ideas of who it is?"

"Nope, not a clue." You narrowed your eyes at him. "Wouldn't be you, would it?"

Eddie nearly choked, but he somehow held his composure. "Sorry, sweetheart, but it is not."

You shrugged, not even noticing the slip of the pet name in his answer. "I figured."

He gave you a confused expression. "You-you figured?"

"Well, yeah, everyone knows you-" you leaned closer toward him. "You like Chrissy," you whispered.

He gaped at you. "Chrissy?"

"Yeah."

"Where on Earth did you hear that?"

"People were talking about it a couple of months ago. Don't tell me it's not true."

His posture straightened. "What if I told you it wasn't?"

You weakly smiled. "I'd call you a liar," you replied, softly. Paying attention to the teacher as she started the class.

It made it so you didn't catch the way Eddie sunk further into his seat.

What had he done?

That was his chance to tell you how he felt, and he blew it.

Chrissy Cunningham?

Now, all he thought about for the rest of class was the fact that he was having a drug deal with his so-called 'crush' tomorrow in the woods.

Wasn't it obvious he was in love with you?

The answer is no, no it wasn't because if it was maybe you would've already pulled the plug and ask him out, but you hadn't and you wouldn't especially not after his lack of denial for liking Chrissy Cunningham.

Robin was wrong.

"You were wrong," you said to Robin, passing by her quickly in the hallway.

It was the next day, the bell for the lunch period had rung just a few seconds ago and you were briefly explaining your avoidance to your best friend.

"But, I'm never wrong!" she claimed in a shout over the crowd. "He's lying!"

You rolled your eyes, leaving the hustle and bustle of students going to the cafeteria. You needed to be alone. Alone in your thoughts, where it's just you and your journal... and maybe a few tears.

Because though Robin may have been wrong about it being Eddie, she wasn't wrong about you wanting it to be Eddie. You had gotten a note from your secret admirer yesterday before school ended saying,

I know you don't know who I am, but I need you to know I like you... a lot. And I know we don't talk that much, but I want to, because you are so amazing and why wouldn't I want to be with you? Who wouldn't want to be with you? Everyday I question myself on why I haven't bit the bullet yet and asked you out and it's because I'm afraid. Of how you'd react, of how others would react, and I don't want to risk having you hate me. Which I doubt you would anyways because you're you, the nicest person I've ever spoken to. So, please, give me time to work up the courage, don't give up on me, I don't think I could take it. I'm done now, maybe this scared you off - probably scared you off... um... bye- your secret admirer.

You thought back to how your heart squeezed as you read every word. You wished you knew who it was, so you could put their mind at peace. So, you could put your mind at peace.

You found yourself in the woods, setting your stuff down on the wooden table that was placed in the most secluded part of the area. Hardly no one goes out there. It was a place you could allow yourself to pace around and think things through.

Who is it?

That was the number one question. You attempted to conjure a mental list of possible candidates but you always drew a blank every time you tried.

Who would ever like-

You screamed as your back collided into something behind you. You spun around.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Eddie chuckled, holding out a hand.

"Eddie? Wh-what are you doing out here?"

"Confidential," he said, analyzing your overall physical presence. "You okay?" he asked.

"Define 'okay'." You dryly laugh, sitting down at the table.

He frowned and sat across from you, setting his metal lunchbox next to your stuff. "You want to tell me about it? Or do I have to guess?"

You rest your forearms on the table. "Do you ever feel like-like you don't fit in?"

He looked taken aback. "On-like-a daily basis," he answered, a wide smile taking over his face, directed toward you. "You forget you're talking to 'the freak', sweetheart."

You groaned softly.

That made his smile falter. "Why d'you ask?"

You shrugged, suddenly your hands become fascinating as you stared at them fidgeting. "Guess I haven't been feeling-" You cleared your throat, "-great about myself lately, that's all?"

He propped himself up slightly on the table. "Something happen?"

"More like someone." You glanced up at him to gauge at his expression. It held concern. You carelessly threw your hands up. "You know that admirer I spoke about the other day?"

He nodded, slowly. "Yeah."

"I've been wracking my mind trying to figure out who it is, and I just... can't. Sometimes I believe I'm a little unlovable at times."

"What?!" he blurted. "Sweetheart, that's not true, you are so lovable!"

You grew very confused by his sudden outburst, but he didn't seem to catch on as he continued.

He stood up and walked over to your side of the table to sit next to you. To have your full attention. "You are smart, funny, talented and so, so beautiful." Your heart skipped a beat. "God, who wouldn't want to be with you?"

Your eyes shot up to meet his. "What did you say?"

"Huh?" He tilted his head. "You-you didn't hear any of that?"

"No-yes! I mean what did you say at the end?"

"Who wouldn't want to be with you?" he repeated unsure.

Why wouldn't I want to be with you? Who wouldn't want to be with you? You recalled from the note.

"Eddie?" you called out in the same tone as his previous one.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to ask you this one last time, and I want you to tell me the truth." You took in a deep breath. "Are you the person who has been writing to me?"

He suddenly turned pale. His eyes nervously flickered away from yours. "Ummm..." He couldn't seem to form any words. "Maybe-well-I-um..."

You shifted a little closer to him.

His eyes moved back to focus on you and how close you've gotten. "Hi," he whispered, taking in every single inch of your face. Every flaw and imperfection.

So goddamn beautiful.

He exhaled shakily. It fanned your face causing your eyes to flutter shut. Both of you gravitating toward each other unknowingly. Your noses barely brushed each others when another voice broke the silence.

"Am I interrupting something?"

You abruptly moved away from Eddie and met the eyes of none other than Chrissy Cunningham. You gaze averted to Eddie who looked rather frantic and disheveled.

"Confidential," he said.

Oh.

"Oh," you said aloud. "No-I-um-I was just leaving." You rapidly gathered your stuff.

Eddie watched helplessly, instinctively reaching out to grab you, to stop you, but you dodged it. He got up to try again, this time he was able to catch your hand, gently grasping it. He leaned toward you. "It's just a drug deal, I swear," he said, lowly. "You have to believe me." His eyes pleaded.

You dared a glimpse at Chrissy. She looked uncomfortable as she scanned her surroundings as if anyone could be watching. At that moment it didn't seem like a lie, but at the same time your mind brought you back to the rumor, and the fact that you didn't know if that was a lie or not.

You formed your lips into a tight-line. "I'll see you around, Eddie," you bit back before pulling away and storming off.

Eddie debated on running after you, but instead he took in a sharp breath before shooting a fake smile at Chrissy. "So... let's get started, shall we?"

Your foot tapped against the tiled floors. Peering straight in front of you, not really paying attention to the lesson. How could you when you felt Eddie's eyes on you the entire time next to you? From your peripheral vision you saw Eddie writing something down on a sheet of paper. He slid his foot over to nudge yours, trying to get your attention to take the paper out of his hands.

The devil won the argument in this case as you carefully grabbed it and set it down on your desk.

Can we talk, please?

After reading it, you grabbed your pen and wrote back.

What is there to talk about?

You handed him back the sheet of paper without looking at him. You heard him sigh loudly along with a scribble of something. He pushed the paper back into your hands.

I need you to know the full story. Five minutes? That's all I'm asking for.

You thought through it. You clicked your pen twice then wrote a response.

Fine.

He let out a breath of relief.

Thank you. Meet me by my van at 4pm.

Your eyebrow quirked up.

Are you planning on kidnapping me?

If that's what it takes to get you to listen to me Does 4pm work for you?

I read that. And yes, that works for me.

Eddie's hope grew a little at your words. He prayed - to whichever god was out there, ones in which he didn't believe in - that he didn't ruin what hasn't even had the chance to begun.

'Cause God, he's in love with you.

You stood by his van with your arms crossed. The front of your shoe kicking a nearby pebble. Eddie rushed over to you.

"You're late," you said.

He looked down at his watch. 4:10, he read. "I'm sorry."

"For what? Being late or....?"

"Everything," he paused. "You know when you told me that thing about me liking Chrissy I knew I messed up."

You shifted your weight to one side. "How so?"

"Because, I thought it was so obvious how I felt for you. I thought people saw it from miles away, but I guess showing my feelings is just another thing I fail at doing in my life."

You frowned.

He continued, "I hope you know now that I've always liked you." He bit his lip. "Man, I think I liked you before I even knew I liked you." He chuckled. "I was scared though, even if you said you felt the same I was scared you'd back away once you realized what a freak I am. I'm not someone who can give you everything you've wanted... but I would try."

You smiled a little. "Eddie, I don't like you because I thought you could give me the world, I like you because-as corny as this sounds-you are my world. I never believed in the how soulmates thing, but ever since I met you, it was always you. And I have to admit I wanted you to be my admirer so bad, but my life-it never seems to go easy on me, so the first thing I thought was that it was a joke, and then when it seemed to be becoming more real and Robin of all people was telling me how she thought it was you... I didn't want to give into the hope. Then you told me it wasn't you, and I didn't have any proof to convince me otherwise."

"I'm your world?" he asked, breathless.

"That's all you got from that?" you joked.

He shook his head. "No, but it definitely was the part that lingered the longest."

"Eddie, I-"

"I meant every word I wrote, and it wasn't even half the things I've wanted to say to you for so long. Because there's so much I want to tell you, and we have so much to make up for, but that's only if you want me."

You opened your mouth then closed it. Finally you spoke, "Where do we start?"

He broke out into a large smile. "You mean it?"

"Yeah," you reply, mimicking his smile.

The two of you stared at each other for a few moments.

"You can kiss me now, if you want," you said.

"Oh, thank fuck," he breathed.

He leaned in, cupping your jaw to bring you lips to meet his. You breathed him in immediately, the smell of cigarettes, cologne, and a hint of mint clogging your nose. Delightfully suffocating you in his warmth. You wrapped your arms around his neck to bring him closer as the two of your fell in a fast rhythm, making up for at least some of the lost time, then slow and steady to savor the moment as this was something neither one of them every wanted to forget. Ever.

A note fluttered out of your locker.

"Another one?" Robin groaned.

You picked it up with a lovesick smile plastered onto your face. "Don't sound so annoyed Robin, you should be pleased."

"Just because I'm always right, doesn't mean I like to be always right."

"You're right. You love to be always right," you quip back, unfolding the piece of paper.

Morning sweetheart, just wanted to say I love you and I can't wait for our date tonight. - Love, Eddie.

"Why can't he just tell you that when he see's you at school today?" Robin asked.

You dreamily sigh. "He wanted to keep the memory of how we got together alive, so we decided to continue writing each other notes. It doesn't matter what we say in them." You eyes met Eddie's figure a few feet away from you. "It's the thought that matters." With that last word to Robin, you run toward Eddie who immediately picks you up and spins you around.

"How are you doing today?" he asked.

"Good!" you chirped. "I got your note."

"Oh, did you? Have any thoughts about it? Responses?"

"A few..." You smiled, and pecked his cheek, making him blush profusely. "I love you too."

[tyrantisterror]

I think a lot more people need to realize that extreme pessimism is just as naive and self-serving a mindset as extreme optimism. Believing that everything is shit and everyone is their worst selves and that nice things are a lie is a way to try and exert power over a world you do not fully control - by believing the outcome is always doomed to failure, you give yourself an excuse not to try, and little sense of validation to pick you up when things do end up turning to shit (because you didn't try). You get to feel like the smartest person in the room when you're next to people who are actually happy, because they're foolish idiots and you're the one who knows the truth that there's no good reason to be happy and that misery is the only thing that makes sense.

The harder truth to accept is that reality is nuanced and contradictory - that we have more power than we realize, but also can never have complete control. That every person is capable of great good AND great evil, and that every person will commit great good AND great evil, and that doing one doesn't cancel out the other. That we are complicated - that existence is complicated, and that we live our whole lifetimes and never fully understand it, but have to try and do our best with it anyway. That we will fuck up sometimes despite meaning well, and that sometimes we'll do everything right and get fucked over by circumstance anyway, and that sometimes we'll know we're doing something fucked up and get away with it when we know we don't deserve to.

It's complicated. You have to accept that if you truly want to do your best and live your best life. And it's hard, believe me it's hard, I write this because I have indulged in an extreme pessimist mindset for most of my life. I still do in some aspects of my life that I feel I have too little control over - it's an unhealthy coping mechanism. So I know from experience if you wallow in that mindset, you are being selfish, and, paradoxically, you are hurting yourself.

[writingmeraki]

min ho as your bf hcs !

genre : fluff ! romance !

pairing : min ho x gn!reader, strangers to friends to oblivious idiots to lovers :)

warnings : insecurity and jealousy ( not anything too alarming ), attempt at comedy, kissing, not proofread ! ( lmk if i missed anything ! ) also self indulgent at times 😔

author's note : dawg it's 5:30 am pulled this out of the two last living braincells of my brains to dip my toes into this xo kitty craze i am having, especially for min ho but anyways! idk if i like this, ( it's normal I'm so sorry I'm never sure if i like what i write at times because i end up writing at the ass crack of dawn and that too unhinged 😔) i kinda find it longer than i intended it to be but hope you like it <3 I'll be writing more if I get feedback and expect something else soon :)

word count : 3.4k (💀)

how you met !

- You'd both met when it was your first day at KISS.

- Well since it's Min ho, i feel like it would take a lot for someone to put an impression on him to make him remember them.

- At the welcome party, he was pretty bored, already used to these types of parties when you'd walk in, clueless looking like a deer in headlights, in your pretty little outfit.

- It definitely made him curious nonetheless, even though you seemed lost, you still had a smile, maintaining a confident aura.

- You'd probably be nervous on the inside though, but lucky for you, someone like you, that was Kitty, happened to also seem lost.

- You both connected immediately, her being new to Korea wanting to get to know her own roots and ofc her boyfriend more while you were there because you'd been wanting a change from your life back home and what better city than Seoul !

- Well okay, you didn't really pick it, it was more so of you just throwing a dart at the map back in your room to choose where you wanted to go as a fresh start and it landed on Seoul. You'd call it fate.

- Now back to the party, as you chattered with Kitty, you walked into someone and you felt your breath hitch, upon seeing him.

- It did feel like those cliche weird movie moments, when you think that this is probably it.

- As he was obviously annoyed at Kitty, he turned to the person beside her and his eyes widened.

- It was you. The one that caught his eye right at the beginning.

- Before anything, you flashed your soft smile at him, an apologetic look in your eyes, apologizing for bumping into him, on behalf of Kitty

"I'm sorry, we didn't mean to bump into you, I can get you some paper towels?" You said gently and Min ho definitely wanted to continue hearing you, already really loving the way you sounded.

Q would definitely be shocked though, seeing him look flustered, and staring at you, blinking twice. He never thought he'd ever see his best friend being so…speechless.

He literally had to bump his shoulder to snap him out of daze which seemed to have worked, for the most part.

- You all introduced yourselves, finding out they'd been Dae, Kitty's boyfriend's best friends, and with the way she seemed a bit taken aback by the way she looked at Min ho made you feel like you'd definitely didn't know something.

- And unknowingly both Q and Kitty did notice, sharing a puzzled look, at Min ho's state. They'd met a while ago but clearly there was already something there. A new thing, blooming slowly.

how you got together !

- And fast forward a bit, Kitty who was true to her matchmaking skills, knew you both liked each other.

- You'd both hang out often over the few weeks, connecting more and despite her own love life being confused, she was determined to make you both realize you were oblivious idiots who liked each other, idiots nonetheless.

- He'd upgraded to talking freely around you more, but you found out he wasn't the shy person you thought he was the first time you met him, the very next day, when he began to compliment himself and flash his annoyingly handsome smirk at you.

- But despite his cockiness, you knew he cared about those he loved. Small gestures and actions are proof enough. He was someone who cared without showing it much, giving gifts was his love language and that only made you more convinced you'd definitely gained feelings for him.

- And alas, you came to her, spilling out your feelings, how you had already found him attractive since the first time you saw him, at first you genuinely thought he'd be a jerk, knowing better than to think a handsome face had a good personality.

- And as much as you were terrifyingly nervous of having such a revelation regarding a boy you'd met only a few months ago now, you don't think you'd ever regret liking someone like Min ho.

-Now it was up to the matchmaker to make you both realize you were meant to be.

-The perfect match, in her words and Min ho definitely scoffed at her words when she confronted him about his own feelings, definitely not because you had said to never ever mention anything about how you felt to him, she just wanted to make sure, and as always her gut was right.

- As much as he scoffed at her words recalling his own family, he couldn't stop his own heart from fluttering as he thought of being together with you, and even to him, this revelation made him a bit taken aback but he was sure, he was sure about how he felt about you.

- They all planned to get you to confess during the camping trip, unsurprisingly all of your mutual friends knowing you had both liked each other and agreed, getting tired of seeing you pining for each other in secret, as cute as it was.

-Kitty would tell you to dress up nicely, saying she had planned a dinner, making up excuses about how there was this spot, perfect for chilling, you did find her behavior a bit odd, but with her persuasive nature, you agreed.

- She made you wear this one outfit, it was one you'd bought and adored a lot, you didn't even know you had packed it, but it made you look amazing and was made for you, in Kitty's words.

- Then she did your hair and applied light make up, your suspicions being even more, asking her a million questions about whether all this was really necessary if it's going to be just us chilling, her just dismissing your questions.

- Min ho wasn't too different on the other end, but Q knew him. Min ho was one who dressed to impress, more of himself nonetheless, he knew he wouldn't hold back on his style.

- And he was right because when he just told Min ho to dress his best tonight and Min ho being Min ho dressed in a fucking suit. Yeah he was not one to mess around his fashion game.

- Q made up a similar reason, something about a dinner at this cool spot. And Min ho didn't really question much, going along.

- When you were almost near the place, Kitty suddenly placed her hands on your eyes from behind you, making you chuckle nervously, asking her if she'd suddenly had a grudge and had really just brought you out to kill you.

- Kitty rolled her eyes, you not seeing her of course, having your vision being engulfed in a sudden darkness.

Whispering softly into your ears, she told you

"Just trust me on this one and you should thank me later."

- On the other side, Min ho almost screamed when he felt his eyes being covered in a sudden darkness by a blind fold, Q choosing a blind fold knowing if he kept his hands, Min ho would go on a long rant about how to not touch his face, and would probably snap back saying how he said that but he allowed you to touch his face to poke his cheeks.

"Q, bro, as much as I love you, I am not into thi-"

"Shut up."

He led Min ho, now only a feet away from the spot,

"And thank me later genius, preferably with your fancy water, it tastes amazing."

- Kitty and Q looked at each other making sure, you both were facing each other.

- Knowing you both were probably going to say something, they both just smiled at each other and let your eyes become uncovered.

- As you adjusted your eyesight to your surroundings, you'd both spotted each other, surprised was probably what you felt.

- Yet upon seeing the way your hair was done, the way your makeup only enhances your features, your gentle eyes sparkling under the soft moonlight, your outfit only adding to your beauty, Min ho just wanted to treasure you forever if he could as his heart picked up in pace, more enchanted by your mere presence.

- You were no different, a reminder that he was definitely sculpted by Aphrodite herself as the moonlight fell upon his face, his suit only making you more trapped, fitting him perfectly, his hair styled to perfection, some strands escaping and gently resting on his forehead.

"Well! Now that you're both here, enjoy! And oh, don't mess this up, please for the sake of all of us fed up with you oblivious idiots!"

Kitty said suddenly making you look at her, furrowing your eyebrows at her words and upon hearing Q's agreement Min ho narrowed his eyes at being called an idiot and before the both of you could say another word they turned around and left.

- You took in the surroundings, now noticing the glittering fairylights and the table set up in front of you, a rose bouquet placed in the middle, filled with specifically red roses and some candles.

"Looks like they set us up."

Min ho said, already catching onto what this was all about, and it made him just a tad bit nervous

"Oh and uh if you feel uncomfortable, we can go back-"

Giggling at the way he seemed sheepish and nervous at the same time, you shake your head,

"Not at all, we can't let their efforts go to waste now can we? After all, we shouldn't mess this up."

You air quoted the final words, moving forward to take a seat.

Min ho had a small smile on his face as he heard you giggle, nodding along

"Yeah you're right. Covey will probably throw me off this cliff."

You chuckled as you both sat down

"Don't worry, I'll jump after you to save you. Can't let my date be murdered by my best friend."

His eyes widened a bit at your words, you paused a bit wondering if you spoke too much maybe, but all your doubts dissolved when he replied

"What no! You can't hurt yourself because of me!"

- You were sure your cheeks would have hurt from the amount of laughing and giggles you'd share with Min ho that night, convinced you'd never laugh this much in one night your entire life.

- And as the night came to an end, you both sat on the cliff, looking at the stars, sharing sneaky glances and adorable grins. You knew it was the right moment to just let it all out

"Min ho."

Humming at you, he looked at you from his previous stargazing, sitting beside him with his jacket over your shoulders to top off the clicheness, looking just unreal and you had done nothing but call him yet he loves it a lot more than he'd admit.

"I think I'm in love with you."

You said it, there. Out in the open. Out of the temporary home the words had found on the tip of your tongue and you braced yourself for the worst of the worst.

You looked away, gulping back up at the stars.

"Come on now, you can't just look away after that."

Min ho gently cupped your face, to make you look at him, his cooler fingers a contrast to your warm cheeks.

He smirked at you, leaning closer,

"I know you do."

Frowning a bit at his answer, you narrowed your eyes at him, but he had more to say

"But, I don't think I am in love with you though, I know I am definitely in love with you."

You gaped at his words, staring into his sincere eyes, moving yourself closer as he leaned in more and more.

"Can I ?"

He asked softly, foreheads touching each other, your breathing in sync.

"Please."

- It was slow and gentle, something unknown to the both of you, letting your feelings be conveyed through the touch of your lips. You had placed your hands around his neck pulling him closer as his own hands moved to your waist.

You pulled away shortly, needing to breathe, foreheads still touching each other.

"So does this mean we're official ?" You timidly asked and he responded,

"We'll take it however you want it to be but I won't lie, I would love to be your boyfriend."

He finished with a cheeky grin and you giggled

"Okay then, boyfriend."

Pecking him one more time as his grin grew wider, you knew this was probably your biggest happiness till date.

how being in a relationship with him is !

- It was no joke when he said giving gifts was his own love language.

- He spoiled you to the brim, despite your protests. You didn't mind them of course. It's just throughout your life you'd only get such special gifts on big occasions but he got them for you on random Tuesdays and you felt like you were getting more than you deserve.

"Baby, you know how much I love you, this is my own way of showing it." He'd pouted it to you when you had protested once and you being the best partner you tried to be, just accepted them and of course treasured them safely in your room.

- As much as Min ho didn't mind showing affection to you in public because for one he didn't really care about what others thought of his actions,it was his life, he'd been living it how he wanted and wouldn't let anyone change that.

- But he was protective of you in public, holding your hand, though you didn't mind that at all when his larger hands seemed to perfectly wrap around yours as you pulled him closer to you.

- He'd probably let you and only you use his skincare routine products, in fact going in the extra mile and teaching you how to use them and what to use them for, applying them for you, a little like your very own spa treatment, and you giggled sometimes seeing him focused and serious when talking about how you didn't really need them since you were already perfect.

"You're already beautiful though." He told you as he applied a moisturizer on your face that for the love of all good things, you didn't know the name of. "This will just keep your skin looking healthy but if you don't want to use it, we can stop of course."

"It's okay. It feels nice." You hummed as he trailed his fingers gently on your face, massaging it, and he smiled at your content look. He knew you were a little stressed due to some tests hence why he insisted you take a break with him at the moment.

"I'm glad then."

- He knew you loved his cooking, even before you got together, he'd always been making food for you when you would be at his dorm. He already knew your favorite dishes so when you felt down, he'd be ready with your comfort food.

- He loved to hear your little reviews about his cooking, you always had something to say about any dish he made, whether it was just the right amount of spice or how the tofu made the dish even more delicious, he listened to your suggestions and would use that to improve his skills.

- He'd teach you how to cook as well, starting with smaller and less complicated dishes,feeling his heart swell with happiness when you were successful at one and even if you failed, he'd reassure you that it's alright and we can try it again or another dish.

- Kisses were often shared anywhere and anytime even if your friends would complain about it, calling you gross and lovesick fools, you didn't care about what they said when you felt the familiar butterflies in your stomach as your lips touched his.

- You made him a very long playlist consisting of all and every song that reminded you of him, reminded you of moments with him, reminded you of how he made your heart flutter.

- He'd listen to it, telling you what parts he loved and he too had a similar playlist, it was probably the cheesiest thing to do, as Kitty said but then again you felt all kinds of so called cheesy emotions whenever you were with him.

- He would introduce you to his mother, and that too very proudly. You were nervous but he reassured you about how his mom would probably love you and she did, a sigh of relief coming from you when Min ho told you that.

- Your parents, on the other hand, were definitely charmed by him. He knew his way with words and what to say and nonetheless they loved him!

- Study dates in the libraries tended to end up with you giggling at his ridiculous jokes and him teasing you about how you were so cute, making you slap his arm lightly as you would feel your cheeks warm up.

- Playing footsies was always convenient when you were not paying attention to him, too focused on your novel and you just shook your head on the way and stifled your laughter at his pout.

- He was not a jealous person, not at least after you became his. Before sure, he'd glare at those who tried to ask you out, being happy when you turned them down.

- Q reminding him you weren't dating him for him to get jealous but now that you were, he didn't feel the need to get jealous.

- If he felt like someone was looking at you in that way, he'd either wrap his arm around your waist and kiss you cheek, smiling with a certain glint to the other and they got the message alright. Nothing serious but sometimes he can be jealous.

- You, though, you weren't jealous but maybe you tended to get insecure at times. Thinking Min ho could have whoever he wanted yet he chose you as you would find a pretty girl leaning onto him.

But the scoff of disgust as he leaned away, and said something to her which would make her turn around in shame and walk away with her head down, made you look at him, him coming towards your way, smiling as he finally spotted you.

"Hi baby! I was just looking for you." He grinned widely as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side, his eyes shining brightly as he looked down at you, in those moments you knew, even if he wanted whoever he wanted, you had him and he had you.

- He's talkative, talking about anything and everything under the sun and moon, you'd give your attention those times, nods of confirmation to questions and gasps of shock when he said something particularly astounding.

- He was grateful to have someone who'd listen to him talk, as simple as that gesture is, he's grateful for that someone to have been you.

- He loves it when you play with his hair as he lays his head on your lap, brushing through his soft locks, easing his worries.

- You love to just cuddle with him when you can, him just holding you when you need it or pulling you onto him from your previous position of sitting beside him on the couch.

- Expect all kinds of date ideas to be pulled off, sometimes by you or by him or even by your friends. Movies, adventure parks, haunted houses, you name it but you think that no matter what, even if you could stare at paint dry on a wall, as long as you have Min ho with you, you couldn't ask for more.

- Despite his cocky moments at times, you sometimes would roll your eyes at him and just sigh softly, or better yet, you love to see his flustered expression whenever you agree on his self praises.

"We all know that my existence is probably the highlight of your day, guys, just admit it." He would say with a smug grin, Q already rolling his eyes and Kitty just scoffing and you replied

"Of course baby, you're the highlight of my life!" You grinned widely at him, chuckling when his ears got a little red and he just nodded "Y-yeah see!"

"I'll be b-back!" You laughed at him,

"Oh he's so whipped for you." Kitty said which only made you laugh more loudly.

- In the end, Min ho was convinced that even if he didn't believe in star crossed lovers, he'd definitely have to thank fate to make someone like you become his.

- And oh Kitty of course.

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri.do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2023

feedback is always appreciated 💗

links : main navi !

[joelalorian]

Fall Into Me - Chapter Seven: I'll Catch You Darlin'

dbf!Joel x f!reader

Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.

Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.

Word Count: 3.9k

Chapter Warnings: Explicit, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. Lots of feelings, unprotected p in v, flirting, dads being dads. Two idiots falling in love. Joel is his own warning. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname used only by her dad and Joel uses various terms of endearment (darlin', sweetheart, etc.).

Thank you so much to everyone who reads this self-indulgent story and extra thanks to those who comment and/or reblog - you all make me feel like a rock star!

Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics

Some of the tags aren't working in the taglist - if you're not getting the notifications, please check your settings to make sure you are taggable. Thx!

Chapter Six | Main Masterlist

Moonlight peeked through the gap in the dark curtains, beams of soft light dancing across your face. Blinking your eyes open, you glanced around the room, momentarily uncertain where you were. Even in the pre-dawn light, the walls were noticeably darker than your room, furniture a rich mahogany, the bedding a deep blue. The spot in the bed beside you was empty but warm, and it jogged your memory.

You were in Joel’s room, in his bed.

You slept with Joel last night… but, no, wait. You didn’t, you know, sleep with him, though you wanted to and now wished you had.

The two of you made a mess of each other on the couch – you still couldn’t believe you made Joel come in his pants. You’d never done such a thing and it was so fucking hot! Even hotter was the fact that he wasn’t even embarrassed about it. Instead, he let you know how much of an effect you had on him, murmuring affectionate words in your ear. Afterwards, you both cleaned up, Joel loaning you a pair of boxer briefs and joggers to replace your soaked jeans and panties, and finally sat down to watch a movie and order pizza. It was a perfect Sunday date night in. When Sarah and Tommy returned, they joined you for a bit, Sarah cuddled into your left side as you cuddled into Joel on your right. Somehow, after Sarah went to bed and Tommy left, you ended up in Joel’s bed, the dark sheets covering you as he held you in his broad arms. Too tired for anything more, you fell asleep.

It was the best night of sleep you had in your entire life.

Glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand, you sighed. Too early to rise, you huddled under the covers wondering where Joel went off to. Just then, the bathroom door creaked open, and Joel emerged, climbing back into bed next to you. His arms encased you in the warmth of his body and you hummed happily, placing soft kisses on his chest.

“Mmm, what are you doin’ awake, darlin’,” he murmured, nuzzling his nose in your hair.

“Dunno,” you replied, fingertips dancing along his arms and over his shoulders. Joel pulled you closer still and, with a tilt of your head, you pressed a kiss to his pouty lips, the scruff of his beard and mustache tickling your skin.

Just being in his arms, in his bed, caused a wave of arousal to pool in your lower belly. Thinking of last night on the couch, your hips pressed forward without conscious thought from your brain and your lower belly brushed against the swelling length of Joel’s cock.

“Is someone feelin’ a lil’ needy?” Joel asked, voice thick and velvety, as one hand wandered down the length of your back to squeeze at the plumpness of your ass.

“Always need you, Joel,” you practically whined, internally cringing at your own neediness. You always swore you wouldn’t beg for a man but with your skin practically burning for his every touch, you’d give anything for Joel to be inside you. You never wanted someone so much you felt like you could shatter from the wanton desire pulsing through you.

Shifting forward, Joel rolled you onto your back and hovered above you, bracing himself on one veiny forearm. The thumb of his free hand swiped slowly across your bottom lip, pulling at the pouty flesh, his dark eyes searing as your tongue darted out for a taste of his skin. With a growling moan, he darted forward to press his mouth to yours, nipping at that bottom lip while his hand traced a path down your neck and chest, seeking the roundness of your breasts. Precise in his movements, Joel swallowed your little mewls as he plucked at your nipples one at a time until they were hardened peaks. You squirmed as each delectable pinch sent a bolt of arousal straight to your pussy.

Without a word, Joel read your movements, his hand gliding further down your body to dip beneath the elastic of your panties. Leaning back slightly, his eyes met yours, pupils blown, and arched a single eyebrow. You were absolutely drenched, your arousal seeping through the fabric of your panties to coat the flesh of your inner thighs.

“All this for me? I’ve been so neglectful, you poor lil’ thing. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you, darlin’.”

Joel’s eyes never left yours as he swiped through your folds, the rough pad of his index finger strumming at your clit for a few beats before slipping inside you. It had been a while since you had anything other than a tampon inside you and your breath caught at the feeling of his thick finger stretching you. Soft mewls quickly turned to panting moans as he added another finger to the mix, curling them both to hit that little fleshy bundle of nerves that made you desperate to come as his thumb teased your clit.

“Shhh, darlin’. We need to be quiet,” Joel whispered, his breath in your ear causing goosebumps to prickle across your scalp and along your arms. Biting your lip, you did your best to stay quiet, breathing heavily through your nose as Joel scissored his fingers, opening you up to take the fullness of him.

Suddenly realizing you’ve been so focused on what Joel was doing to you that your hands hadn’t moved from his waist, you shifted. Hips arching up chasing the orgasm that teetered just out of reach, you slipped one hand around Joel’s hip, digging your fingers under the waistband of his boxer briefs to take the heft of him in hand.

Fuck, he was huge. Joel chuckled and your faced heated at the realization that you said that aloud. “That’s why I’m making sure you’re ready to take me, darlin’. I don’t want to hurt you, ever.”

How was this man real? He was everything you never knew you always wanted and then some. And God damn did he know how to work you right over the edge. Afraid of being too loud, you bit into the flesh of Joel’s shoulder to drown your moans as an intense orgasm washed over you. Joel’s fingers worked you through it, soothing you through the trembling aftershocks until you came back to your senses.

“Please, Joel. I need you. I’m ready. I need you now. Please,” you babbled, hands scrabbling at his underwear, wanting him as naked as you. So much for not begging.

Pushing back, Joel tugged his boxer briefs down his hips and thighs, kicking them away as he settled between your thighs. Your eyes widened when you caught a glimpse of his cock, mouth watering with the desire to taste him. Next time, you thought, as he tilted his hips forward, balancing his upper body on his arms. This was the moment you’d both been waiting patiently for.

Joel’s big brown eyes met yours, seeking confirmation that this was what you wanted, and you smiled. “Please, Joel,” you whimpered, hips bucking in search of friction.

Sealing his lips to yours, Joel pushed forward, easing his cock into you with an exaggerated slowness. The mixture of pleasure and slight pain was exquisite as inch after inch of his cock caressed your walls, eyes rolling back when he finally bottomed out.

“Fuck, baby. Y-you feel so fucking good wrapped around me, squeezing me so tight. I could live here, just like this, forever.” Joel’s voice a deep whisper as he rocked into you, cock sliding along your fluttering walls, hitting just the right spots with every movement. He was do deep inside you; you’d swear you could feel him deep in your belly.

The broadness of him surrounded you as he fed you his cock with steady thrusts. Sex never felt so good, and you knew it had everything to do with Joel and the way you felt about him. You’d never felt this way about anyone before and, though it overwhelmed you, it was the greatest thing in the world. You were bursting to tell him the true depth of your feelings, but hesitated, not wanting to be the first to make such a declaration, especially in the heat of the moment.

The pace picked up, Joel kissing you deeply as he rocked into you. You swallowed each other’s moans as you wrapped your legs around his hips, drawing him ever closer, ever deeper. The brush of his lower belly and coarse curls against you created just the right amount of friction on your clit it threw you right over the cliff, moaning into Joel’s mouth, fingernails digging into the skin of his back. No doubt there would be a dozen half moon markings on his back later.

Within a few thrusts, Joel’s pace turned erratic as he sought his own pleasure. Tearing his lips from yours, he frantically blurted, “Where?”

“Inside. Come inside me, baby,” your mewled, aching to feel him pulse inside you.

Two more thrusts and Joel came, his low groan muffled by your neck as he burrowed his head into the pillow. “Fuck,” he drew out the word, followed by a sigh of your name before he collapsed half on top of you. The bulk of him like a weighted blanket covering your body. “That was amazing. I can’t wait to do it again.”

Still delirious, you both chuckled as quietly as you could manage, chests heaving as you tried to catch your breath. Rolling off you, Joel pulled you close so that you were now sprawled half over him and cuddled you until your heart rates returned to normal.

A glance at the clock let you know you were out of time. Sarah would be up any minute looking for breakfast before getting ready for school. The thought of unwrapping yourself from Joel and leaving his bed pained you, but you both got up. You did a quick cleanup while Joel jumped in the shower. As much as you wanted to join him, you both knew you’d lose track of time if you did. Instead, you jumped in after Joel finished, letting him deal with getting Sarah’s breakfast.

It wasn’t until you emerged from the shower that nervous energy coursed through you at the thought of going downstairs. Did Sarah know you stayed over? Did Joel want Sarah to know that you stayed over? You should have talked to Joel about this before he went downstairs, but it was too late now. The questions still swirled in your head as you slipped on the borrowed joggers and scraped your hair into a knot at the back of your head. You wore a tank top to sleep in and were about to put your shirt from the night before on when one of Joel’s flannels caught your eye. Holding the fabric up to your nose, you breathed in the scent of him – fresh cut wood and a musk that was so uniquely Joel – and slipped the shirt on with a tender smile. Time to face the music, you thought.

Steps light as you walked down the stairs, you heard Sarah chattering away to Joel and smiled when Joel’s deep voice muttered responses. Their connection warmed your heart and you wanted so badly to be part of this family unit with them.

Catching sight of you as you turned the corner, Joel’s dark chocolate eyes lit up, lips twitching into a half smile. “Good mornin’, darlin’,” he greeted once you stepped through into the kitchen, leaning down to kiss the top of your head as if the two of you hadn’t spent the last hour getting full carnal knowledge of each other. “How’d you sleep?”

“Mmm, good morning you two,” you replied, slipping into the seat next to Sarah with a smile at the young girl. “That was the best night of sleep.”

Joel looked pleased with himself as he placed a glass of water on the table in front of you along with a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. “Just what I hoped to hear.” He took the seat across from you at the little four-top table and the three of you dug in.

Sarah kept up a stream of chatter as you ate, telling you all about her ice cream date with Tommy the night before. About mid-way through breakfast, you nearly choked on your eggs when the little girl blurted, “You’re wearing Daddy’s clothes. Does that mean you’re officially his girlfriend now?”

Sputtering, your wide-eyed gaze darted to Joel. He sat there looking cool as a cucumber, lips quirked in a grin and umber eyes twinkling with mischief. “Yeah, darlin’. Does that mean you’re officially my girlfriend now?”

Eyes narrowing at the menace of a man sitting across the table, you smirked. Two could play this game. “Well, I don’t know. What do I get for being your official girlfriend?” you asked, voice dipping toward sultry.

Joel visibly gulped, eyes searching your face before he cleared his throat. “Anything you want.” He said it so simply, the words leaving his lips so effortlessly, and it threw you.

“What about what you want?” you deflected.

Sarah gazed between the two of you, nose scrunched, equal parts happy and confused. Why did adults make everything complicated?

Playfulness glinted in Joel’s eyes, winking at Sarah before turning back to you. “I want you to be my official girlfriend.”

“Okie dokie,” you replied with a nonchalant shrug of your shoulders, feigning indifference as you took the last bite of eggs on your plate to hide your smile.

Joel shook his head, wide grin splitting his face, and went to reply when his phone buzzed. He shot a brief look to you before answering. “Hey JB,” he greeted, listening as your dad spoke. “Yeah, she’s here. Just getting the nugget ready for school.”

One thick-fingered hand tapped a rhythm on the wooden table, phone to his left ear as he gazed at you. Your dad was talking a lot, the echo of his voice carried in the air, but you couldn’t decipher what he said.

“It’s no bother, man. She’s a good girl and we love having her here.” Joel winked at you again before motioning for Sarah to go finish getting ready. “Yeah, JB, you can talk to her.”

Accepting the phone as he passed it across the table, you sat back in the chair. “Hey Dad. What’s up?”

“What’s up with you, ya dirty stay out? I didn’t see your car last night or this morning and wondered where ya were. Guess I shoulda known you’d be over there.”

There was something off with your dad’s tone and you panicked, trying in vain to think of an excuse on why you would’ve stayed the night. Mouth opening and closing a few times, your dad beat you to the punch.

“Don’t be makin’ a nuisance of yourself over there, ya hear? It’s one thing to have a crush on the guy, but it’s another to force yourself into every aspect of their lives, Spud. Don’t be getting’ in the way of their family time. You know how important that is.”

Your dad kept going, rattling off some other advice you didn’t ask for, but you were stuck on one thing. He thought you had a crush on Joel. He was much more observant than you ever gave him credit for. You and Joel would not be able to keep your now official relationship secret for long, not with good ol’ JB nosing around.

Joel’s eyes burned into you, but you couldn’t meet his gaze, staring down at the flaws in the tabletop instead.

“Anyway, I just wanted to wish ya good luck on your meeting at the school today, sweetie. You make your old man proud,” your dad said. “Tell Joel I’ll see him later. Love you, Spud.”

“Thanks Dad, love you too,” you uttered, the line going dead before you finished speaking. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, your eyes met Joel’s, finally. “He thinks I have a crush on you and shouldn’t interfere with your family time.”

Tilting his head to the side, brows pinched, Joel reached a hand across the table to link his fingers with yours. “We’ll tell him real soon, darlin’. Don’t want you keeping secrets from your dad like this.”

“You sure? What if…”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m here, in this, for the long haul,” Joel replied imploringly, his fingers squeezing yours. “I haven’t felt like this in too long, if ever, and I’m not givin’ it up for anything. Okay?”

The tell-tale tickle of tears welled but you refused to let them spill over, nodding with a watery smile. “Okay.”

The day started off cool, but the southern sun beat down on the back of Joel’s neck by early afternoon, causing him to shed the red flannel he wore to the job site. Gulping down a bottle of chilled water, he glanced at his phone hoping for a message from you.

You were on his mind constantly. Something triggered a memory or thought of you at almost every moment of the day. He’d see a bird and wonder if you knew what species it was. Or he’d hear something funny and wonder what you’d think about it. Or memories of you in his lap and in his bed would hit suddenly, making him hot under the collar and below the belt.

Joel Miller was a man falling in love and powerless to stop it. Not that he wanted to, anyway.

Just then his phone buzzed with a message from you asking him to call you when he had a moment. He’d always make time for you, he thought, his fingers already hitting the call symbol.

“Hey handsome,” you answered on the second ring, breathless as if you were running.

“Howdy darlin’,” he replied, voice deep and rumbly, just the way he knew you liked it. “How’d the meeting go?”

You were silent for a moment too long, and Joel pulled the phone from his ear, checking that the call didn’t drop.

 “Well, you’re talking to the new middle grade science teacher, so I’d say it went well.” He could feel the pride in your voice and his heart swelled.

“Congrats, darlin’. I knew you’d get it and you’ll be the best damn science teacher those kids will ever have.” He was already thinking about how lucky Sarah would be to have you as a teacher. Letting his voice go a little deeper, he added, “We should celebrate this weekend. Sarah has two sleepover birthday parties to go to, so we’ll have the house to ourselves. I can take my time in showing you just how proud I am of you, and we can be as loud as we want.”

Your breath audibly hitched on the other end of the phone, causing Joel’s lips to twitch into a smirk. “I’d really like that, Joel,” you breathed, and his jeans suddenly grew tighter.

Adjusting himself as subtly as possible, Joel sighed. “I should go, sweetheart. There’s a ton to do at this site and I’m already looking at a few long days this week. Call JB next. He’s dropping by in a bit, and I don’t want to let something slip that I shouldn’t know yet.”

Sighing deeply into the phone, you said, “Alright, I’ll call him now. We gotta tell him soon, Joel. This is only gonna get harder, you know.”

“I know, sweet cheeks. We will, I promise.” Hearing his name, Joel nodded to one of his crew before saying goodbye. Your sweet voice echoed in his ears as he worked like a dog the rest of the day. JB was a proud papa when he stopped by, bragging about you to anyone who would listen. Guilt gurgled in Joel’s gut knowing the two of you were keeping a secret from the guy, but he pushed it down, pretending that he didn’t know anything about your new job and let JB share the details. The sun set long before he left the site, and he arrived home to find leftovers warming on the stove while you got Sarah ready for bed.

The sight of you walking down the stairs, smiling sweetly at him, set his soul on fire. God, how he longed to be with you all the time, to wake up next to you every morning and come home to you every evening.

“Come ‘ere, my sexy teacher girlfriend,” he greeted softly, pulling you in for a scorching kiss. He wasted no time, tongue dipping into your mouth to tangle with yours. “You’re so beautiful and smart, I’m so lucky I get to call you mine.”

You laughed with a little shake of your head. “I’m the lucky one, Joel. I can’t believe some lucky lady hadn’t snatched you up before I came along.”

Even though he was dirty and probably stunk of sweat from working all day, Joel hesitated to let you out of his embrace. As if sensing his feelings, you nuzzled into him.

“I wish I could stay the night, but I should get back to my dad’s,” you said, reluctantly.

“I know, darlin’. We’ll tell him soon and then you can stay over whenever you want.” Joel walked you out the door, thanking you for taking care of Sarah and cooking dinner. He kissed you a few more times on the way to your car and even ducked down to buckle you in and kiss you one last time before finally stepping back. “I’ll see you in the mornin’. I—”

That pesky little four-letter word had been bouncing around his heart and mind for weeks, even before the two of you decided to give this thing before you a shot, but he hesitated to say it first. He’d never said it and meant it, and to him it was a really big thing that he needed to time just right.

The rest of the week passed in a blur of work for Joel. Business was good, keeping him, Tommy, and a few other guys busier than any of them preferred. It was getting to the point where Joel needed to hire another crew so they could run two jobs at once. Though it was a great thing, making changes to his business always increased Joel’s anxiety. Management wasn’t his forte and he was terrified of screwing something up, but maybe that’s what made him a great small business owner. He was hyper vigilant in both the business and construction side of operations, going the extra mile to make sure things ran safely and smoothly.

The downfall of being so busy was, of course, the complete lack of time to spend with Sarah or you. It made him extra happy to know that Sarah had you to lean on and spend time with while he was busy, though. You were the piece of the support system that Sarah had been missing and seeing the bond between the two of you grow stronger every day warmed his heart to the point of bursting.

Finally, Friday arrived, and Joel busted his ass to get done early, rushing home to shower and setup a little something in the backyard to celebrate you landing your first teaching position. He had the perfect evening planned.

tbc

Taglist: @mellymbee @untamedheart81 @anoverwhelmingdin @runningmom94 @leilanixx

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[prettyboykatsuki]

keep me close to you | i. yoichi

✮ tags ; childhood best friends to lovers / idiots to lovers, reader is implied to have grown up a tomboy, stereotypical shoujo manga tropes rip, reader wears makeup, a lot of sexual tension, kissing, confessions 18+

✮ wc ; 3.6k (i don't know. don't ask me.)

✮ a/n ; the worlds most self-indulgent horseshit in the world. sorry! but im not at all actually. this is the very typical 'i didn't see you that way until i realize i did the whole time.' bc i love that trope and i love isagi ok....

reader in this kind of feels awkward in her femininity and that appears in the fic more than once!! please be forewarned.

✮ synopsis ; isagi has never seen you as much more of a friend. so he thought at least.

Isagi is in love with you.

He isn't sure when that happened. He'd love to be know but in all truth - there was never any big eureka moment that made such a thing apparent. If Isagi had to think of all the moments he maybe, sort-of, possibly loved you, they come up to him as bits of nothing-much memories.

That's exactly the problem, really. A long few years of little nothings, accumulated over time, Isagi finds that his whole life has been made up of you. There was no grand gestures of confessions or singular standout moments for him to mull over.

But there was rough-housing with you back when your hair was a little shorter and your chest a little less noticeable. And there was plenty of bike races to the store for ice-cream, and lots of bonding over music you both liked. Isagi remembers sitting on your floor in the 6th grade and watching you play video games much better than he ever could.

A lot that stuff persisted into your teen years, and even into adulthood. Isagi has never thought of it as weird. Play fighting or bike races or being reckless together felt natural - and in some ways, you were the only person who ever brought that out of him.

It was normal. You were friends and you got along as friends. Isagi never thought about it any more than that.

Just a few months ago, you got a boyfriend. Said boyfriend didn't think your friendship with Isagi was entirely appropriate. He had approached Isagi first. You talked to Isagi after, said you'd still hang out but no more rough-housing and that was that.

Isagi had heard about your boyfriend, though you didn't talk about him much. And after meeting him, it was easy enough to conclude that he was genuinely a good guy. Objectively good for you, accepting of your personality, kind and thoughtful. A good stable job There was nothing bad he could say about him. He wished there was.

"Just the being touchy. I know you two don't think anything of it since you've been friends for so long," He leans in, friendly, as he pats Isagis shoulder "But you wouldn't like if your girlfriend was being touchy with another guy right?"

Isagi had nothing to say. He'd never thought about. Never had a proper girlfriend, though he was interested in a few girls. He'd lost his virginity out of the country and had some hook-ups and talking stages. Never a girlfriend.

Would it bother him? He couldn't say. He didn't know who to think of. There was not a hypothetical girl he could conjure to give him a conclusion. Ultimately dazed, Isagi had replied with something along the lines of "Yeah man, I get it," and then left for practice without turning his back.

It bothered him for weeks. He couldn't do anything without pondering that very question. He couldn't stop thinking about the way he'd described you as his girlfriend. You'd always been a friend, and Isagi knows you as a girl. But you're you before that, and he's never quite put both things next to each other.

But he'd never even thought to look at you as a girlfriend. He brushed off such comments and so did you. You were his friend. One of the very best. You'd know each other until you die, and in a way - this is just proof of your next stage of life. You'd settle down with a partner and so would he and everything would be fine.

But, the thing was - he'd never actually conjured up the future. There was never any assured belief that you'd go and find someone to nest with so soon. It felt unnatural. Disorienting. There was an order to this strange and mad world and your relationship went against it.

Even in thinking that, it'd take Isagi weeks to figure out the extent of his feelings. Weeks of practicing, of going on group dates with his team, of drinking. Weeks of missing you. Being conscious of the sudden absence of his very best friend in the world. You still saw him but it was no longer every other day. And you still called and texted, still told him stupid stuff about your life.

But he'd go on Instagram and see pictures of you from someone else's account. You'd be wearing something he'd never seen you in before. It was pretty. You were prettier. He'd never thought about that before, if only to say that you were and always had been. And plenty of guys had noticed in highschool, too. He'd never thought about it then either.

Isagi had never really considered a lot of things. It didn't dawn on him that he loved you until Bachira pried the information out of him one night on the road.

("Yocchan is stupid,"

Isagi leans on the bench in the locker room and frowns, throwing a confused look Bachira's.

"What the hell? For what?"

It's not Bachira who tells him the information - but Rin, who walks towards his own locker with a tired expression and a towel around his shoulder.

"You're in love with her, you stupid jackass.")

Right. It'd been Rin who told it to him straight, and Rin would know a thing about love. Apparently he'd been with the same girl since highschool and he knew a thing or two. For Rin to tell Isagi such a thing made Isagi really think on it, and when Isagi finally sat down and thought about it - it was clear that he was head over heels in love.

Isagi is in love with you. It has been a tremendous pain in the ass trying to live with this information. It made sense - it really did. It made sense that everything suddenly felt so wrong. It made sense that he never new anything about love and that he could never keep a relationship.

When he thought about it, he'd never stop comparing everyone to you. If it were you—you'd be clumsy at fancy restaurants but it'd still be so much fun to go. If it were you—he might've cared much more about valentines day chocolates. It would've been so novel, so lovely - to imagine how hastily you would've made them. Not obligatory friendship chocolates but something just for him.

If it were you, he might've wanted to buy you expensive things. They'd be different. Clothes and shoes but game consoles and concert tickets. If it were you, he'd always take his sports car. He might've liked the way you fawned over them, with that wide-eyed sense of adventure he's spent his whole life getting to know.

Yes if it were you, Isagi might've gotten angry. Now that he knows, the idea you're getting so touchy-feely with another guy makes him sick. He knows he has no right to feel that way, but he can't exactly help the feeling either.

From the start, if Isagi had realized love started and ended with you, then maybe he would know a thing or two about love by now. He might've cared more about everything, had he realized it even a little sooner.

A few months ago would've sufficed.

Isagi is in love with you.

He has no idea if you feel the same, but in a way that doesn't change anything.

He's seated on his couch, alone in his apartment - and thinking wistfully that he probably has been this whole time.

He looks around his apartment, feeling a little sorry for himself. He's drinking. Even this tipsy, his mind is clouded with memories. You looked at this place together and you helped Isagi move in many months ago.

A place with a good view of the city, Isagi stands to his feet and watches near the cool glass of the window.

It takes him a while to hear his phone ring. When he does, he almost feels like he's hallucinating when he sees your name on the other side. He stares, wonders if the kami like playing malicious tricks on him, and then picks up.

He speaks slowly.

"Hello?"

He knows your crying, even though you're trying harder to hide it. That desperate sniffle that you get is an easy tell.

"Yoichi," You mutter, soft and sad "Can you come to the park?"

"At this hour? It's late. Your boyfriend is gonna be pissed."

You hiccup on the other side of the line. Isagi wants to run to you as soon as possible.

"Just come," You sniffle again, a little sadder. You're crying this time forreal "...I want to see you."

"Okay. Are you alone?"

"Mm,"

"Stay on the phone with me. I'll come soon. Stay on the line."

"Okay."

__

Isagi comes to find you at the park like you've asked. He keeps you on the line the entire Uber ride there and then as he comes through the playground to find you.

Somehow, he knows exactly where you'll be. It's the park you two grew up coming to. It's dark out, damp from the night, and Isagi finds you tucked in the same corner you always are.

You still fit there somehow, just beneath the slide. It's a big space, enough for two people. So, wordless, Isagi climbs into the little box and sits next to you. Close but not close enough, he hangs up the phone and turns his head to stare at you.

"I'm here," He says, mostly because he doesn't know what else to say.

You look up at him, obviously having been crying. You're wearing a sweatshirt and shorts, but your face has some light make-up on it like you were on a date. He forces himself not to frown as you gaze at him - pouting.

"You're here." You repeat, like you don't know what else to say. You lean your head on his shoulder. It's the most natural feeling in the world, but right now - it makes his breath hitch "Thanks for comin'"

"Are you gonna tell me what happened?"

"Well I don't want to."

"Can you really say that after crying like a baby, begging for me to come over, huh? All I want to see you—"

You elbow him without mercy.

"Shut up you jackass. Sorry to interrupt your late night jerk-off session with my tears."

It's not said with any malice, a joke - but there's insecurity laced in. Sorry for making you come see me, you want to say he's sure. He shakes his head.

"I could've been hooking up with a girl."

"Yeah? It's a miracle anyone would wanna get your dick wet, you should go back and finish the job,"

"Can't," Isagi mumbles, trying not to look at you closely "Some girl is making my shoulder wet instead though."

"Sorry," You croak, so horrifyingly sincere Isagi doesn't know how he's keeping himself upright "I can move."

"I was kidding," He says, hurriedly "It's fine. It reminds me of when we we're kids."

You huff a laugh.

"You only remember annoying stuff."

He mumbles something in agreement before there's a brief bout of silence. He speaks again first.

"Gonna tell me what happened?"

"We broke up," You mumble. Isagi feels his heart race, immediately riddled with guilt afterwards. "He broke up with me."

"I thought things were going well?"

"They were," You sniffle. It's the first time in your lives you've opened up to each other about something like this. You've talked about it, but it was always more him talking and you listening. He'd never heard about your crushes before.

In such a vulnerable, innocent position. Alone with him, confiding in him. He wants to stay with you forever "He was really good to me."

"So what? Why'd you break up?"

"I didn't love him. I liked him. And I thought I'd come to love him, but I didn't...I just couldn't love him. He knew it too, so he broke up with me."

"Was he mean about it?"

You laugh.

"Course not. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met in my whole life. Told you, he was good to me."

"So then...? Are you sad about hurting his feelings?"

You nod, almost meek.

Isagi loves you more than life itself, he thinks.

"I wanted to love him. I thought I could."

"Why couldn't you?"

A brief pause of silence. You're debating on what to say before you seem to settle on something.

"Already someone else."

"Someone else? You love someone else?"

A whisper of hope. So small Isagi almost can't bear it. You nod.

"And what about them?"

"Doesn't love me back."

"How long?" His voice is shaking. He has no idea if you can tell. You laugh.

"A long time."

"Do I know him?"

You laugh again, a little throatier. More melancholy. Isagi feels like he's looking into an abyss. A dangerous place to fall in if he's not careful. He's already in love, already too deep. But he already steeled himself not to hope too much.

"You do know him, I guess."

"Tell me about him," Isagi almost urges. He has to be sure. He has to be sure this isn't one long dream, and that everything is real. "What he's like."

You look at him surprised.

"I thought you hated when I talked about stuff like this?"

"Changed my mind."

"Weirdo. It's nothin' special. We've known each other a while. We get along well. He likes the stuff I do and I like being around him."

"When'd you realized you loved him?"

"Middle school? Probably."

Ah. You've known each other a little longer than that, haven't you?

"You're being awfully secretive about it. Nothing more specific?"

You frown at him.

"Piss off. Go back to not caring about it. It's a dark part of my past and I already gave up on it forever ago."

"What if..." Isagi swallows. He's really the dumbest guy in the entire world for this. It could always be someone else. He knows that. "If your feelings were returned? What then?"

"I've never thought about it," You say, not even considering it might be the case "I'd be happy but I don't see the point in getting my hopes up. His type in girls is like...cuter I guess."

Isagi wants to knock himself out. Idiot. He's gone and ruined his own chances. He wish he could go back and kick the ass of his highschool self. If he called you cute right now, you'd definitely think he was trying to coddle your feelings. You are cute to him.

He can't get the words out.

"And you don't think you are?"

You shoot him a surprised look then burst out into laughter.

"Well, no. Daisuke used to say it but I don't know. Most guys wouldn't think of me as...cute? Sexy maybe? Apparently some of the guys from department see it that way."

Aah. Isagi hates this. He hates hearing that guys name without honorifics. His first name, at that.

"You should listen to the guy you used to date and not whatever knuckleheads you go to school with."

"Are you saying I'm cute, Yoichi? Started feeling bad?"

"It's not pity, alright? But you're not..not cute."

You pause before breaking out in genuine, unruly laughter. Isagi adores the sound of your voice, adores every inch of you as you giggle yourself into a fit.

"You'll never get a girlfriend like that. You have to at least be able to pretend."

It's not pretending. He wants to tell you that you're cute. The way you laugh is cute and the look you get playing stupid claw machine games is cute and the way you get excited by the 7/11 carrying your favorite things is cute. It's never been different and you still look so delighted. Everything about you is cute. Isagi wants to say all that, and that he finds you sexy too. For different, ordinary reasons those stupid guys in your department could never begin to know.

But words are useless - inconceivably pointless to try and make you understand.

"You're cute," He says first, staring at the place in front of him. Then adds "That's not pity."

"So you know how to smooth talk too?"

"It's not that either."

"Then what is it?" Your voice is wavering.

Now or never.

"A confession."

Isagi feels you tense. Feels you freeze. You start to stutter another joking, lifting your head from his shoulder to turn away but Isagi is quicker. Quick to hold your shoulder, to turn you towards him, to hold your cheek and make you look his face.

"Yoichi?"

"Is it me? Am I the person you like?"

You shake your head trying to look away.

"I don't want to answer that."

"I like you," Isagi grips your shoulder tighter, presses his forehead against yours as he holds on for dear life with hope "I only figured it out recently."

A bout of silence passes before your voice sounds again. It's shaking so hard. Isagi can hear how hard your heart is beating.

"This is fucking mean." You whisper. He frowns at you.

"Do I look like I'm joking? Huh? Does it even kind of seem like that?"

"But since when?" You're arguing. Isagi just confessed his undying love for you and you're arguing with him about it. It's so you. "I'm not even your type."

"No one is my type but you, you idiot." Isagi is exasperated explaining this. It's embarrassing but he's a lot of time to reflect and this is as true as it gets "Every single time I'd ever tried dating someone else or doing things with them - I didn't care. I just did it without thinking. But I always thought if it was you...I'd always want it to be you."

"You're not attracted to me." You assert, maybe trying to compensate.

"Fuck you, I couldn't tell you that you were hot to your face. You kicked my ass every time I mentioned the fact your tits got bigger in highsc—"

You shove him with your shoulder.

"Because you talk about it like that you shitty jock." You hiss.

"Then what do you want me to say?" Isagi mumbles, looking at you "I think you're sexy. What else is there?"

"God this is so embarrassing,"

"I'm being serious," Isagi adds, pouting, face flush with heat "You're just...you've always been attractive I guess."

You give him a small frown. Isagi thinks it's the cutest thing in the world. He wants to kiss you absolutely fucking stupid.

"Are you sure? Like really sure?"

He snorts, laughing humorlessly.

"I've been agonizing about it for weeks. Yes I'm sure."

"What if I told you to kiss me? Could you do it?"

Isagi stares at you in disbelief. He turns himself slightly, staring at you before reaching his hand out towards your cheek. You make a soft noise of surprise as he brushes his thumb underneath your eye. Your face is so hot it's burning against the palm of his hand. He lets his hand settle on the back of your neck before leaning into kiss you.

He kisses you hard but slow. Passion imbued into each tiny movement, drawing as deep as he can go without pushing his tongue between your lips.

You let out a soft moan that makes him pull away, eyes widened. Humiliated you try to shove him away, but Isagi manages to catch you by your wrist.

"Is it starting to click or do you need me to prove it one more time?"

"Ugh. Fuck, you're so,"

He grins wolfishly as he stares at you, watching you shrink so slightly under his gaze. He's not used to winning against you in any capacity with the exception of soccer. It feels good.

"I'm so?"

"Annoying."

"That's it?" He leans in again, lips brushing your cheek and pressing a kiss to it before moving down. He presses kisses down your jaw, relishing in the way you squirm. "Nothing else to add?"

"You're enjoying this too much, Yoichi," You reprimand, though you don't make any effort to move "Are you fishing for compliments?"

"I'm wondering if you find me sexy too, that's all."

You pause before leaning in. He watches the gears turn in your brain before turning your voice low.

"Wanna touch me and find out yourself?"

He pulls away instantly in shock as you blink at him innocently. There's an air of smugness about you. He feels his face burn red immediately, blood rushing up into his brain. He tucks his chin looking away from you. His brain feels like it's full of static.

He's embarrassed. By what you've said but more by how naturally everything falls into place. By how effected he is by something so simple. It usually takes so much more to get him like this.

"What the hell was'at..."

"Karma. Don't be all cocky. I've known about my feelings way longer than you."

"Didn't think you'd know jackshit about stuff like that though."

"Just cause I spare you my sex stories doesn't mean they don't exist."

Isagi feels a pang of irritation as he scoffs.

"I don't want hear about them now either."

"I thought you weren't the jealous type?"

"I just wasn't that into any of those girls."

"But you're into me? Enough that you get jealous?"

Isagi laughs at that.

"Yeah. I'm way more into you than you're ever gonna get through your head anyways."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Means I wanna get all lovey-dovey with you and embarrass you all the time."

You flush and Isagi feels like he's won. Instead of feeling elated or cocky, this time he just feels a little dazed. He stares at you through lidded eyes.

"I'm so into you," Isagi mutters, leaning his head against your shoulder "You're never gonna get it unless you look in my brain,"

You pause momentarily, leaning back enough that Isagi sits up. He looks at you curiously before he feels you tap foreheads. You close your eyes and hum, before peeking just one open.

"I looked," You say softly "I still win,"

Isagi groans internally. God. God you're so fucking cute. It's so you and it's so cute and he loves you.

"Can I please kiss you again?"

"You don't have to ask every time."

"No takebacks."

Isagi leans in again, to kiss you a little softer this time. When he pulls away, the look on your face makes him want to do it all over again. You'll be here all night if he doesn't get a hold of himself.

"You wanna come over to my place?"

"Isn't a little early for that?"

Isagi knocks your foreheads together.

"Not like that. It's late and the trains aren't running. I don't want you taking a cab,"

"I'm a big girl, Yoichi," You say sardonically "If you want me to stay over, just ask. You're still my best friend, dummy." You add the last part a little softer.

He grabs your hand.

"Then stay with me."

You nod.

"Okay. And we can have sex if you want."

"Fuck yeah."

[spirit-hotline]

Dr.Ratio x Student!Reader

Word Count͟͟͞͞➳❥ 6.6k (One-Shot)

Reader is gender neutral !afab // Not proofread

A/N͟͟͞͞➳❥English is not my first language so I apologize for any grammar errors. I've never properly written NSFW before as I'm violently Ace. I'm also more used to writing longer stories so I apologize if anything feels rushed. I've tried my best. This is purely self-indulgent

Cw ➳❥ age gap (reader is 25, Ratio is 30), porn with plot, dubcon?, P in V, masturbation, mutual pinning (they’re in denial), slight OOC, Cunnilingus, licking, Dr.ratio being mean, Ratio being referred as Veritas(towards the end), mentions of private parts, softcore porn, soft dom, kinda slow burn?,

Summary ➳❥ When you arrived at the academy, you immediately caught the eye of Dr.Ratio. The genius felt both amazed and irritated by your methods.

Dr. Ratio was thought to be free of carnal emotions. The man pried himself on being free of idiocy, free of impulsive thoughts and actions. Everything he does is meticulously planned. From the way he teaches to the way, he bathes in the evening. He was known to be one of the strictest and hardest teachers in the guild, his class barely making the 10% pass mark. Not only did you need to figure it out yourself, but you had to prove you wanted to learn. His reputation was kept up carefully and preceded him. Even though he wasn’t liked by the majority of students in the academy, everyone knew better than to disrespect him. He’s earned his attitude, to everyone’s misfortune. 

Every day was the same for Dr.Ratio. The same idiotic student asking the same idiotic questions, the disappointment he felt towards his coworkers, and the stability of his reputation keeping its ground. Only when you arrived, that his foundation start to crack. You weren’t special at first, simply a new arrival to the academy. Your attitude was over-optimistic and light-hearted. He hated the way you were carefree about your teachings. It didn’t take long for him to indirectly target his attitude towards you. For what you had in personality, your intellect deceived it. Every time he came at you with an impossible equation or theory, you would calmly come out with multiple answers, no matter if they were wrong or not. He’d berate you for your ‘’stupidity’’ as he said it. You stayed unfazed, simply stating:

-’’ You can’t succeed without failing, that is the process of learning.’’ 

He was both annoyed and somewhat impressed by your calm, carefree answer to his berating. He scoffed before leaving you alone for that day. The interaction gave you some attention from classmates who were more afraid of him. Over the next few months, you became more popular with the students in his class, even tutoring some of them. You had a more gentle approach than Ratio when explaining material to your fellow students. 

Ratio heard about your little tutoring work and decided to observe from afar. He stood away from the table you and the student you’d be helping that way were seated. His plaster mask was on his complexion to hide his expression, helping him concentrate on the work you were doing. He listened as you talked calmly to the student who was having a hard time. He was expecting you to just give the answer away, like any other idiot would to make another idiot shut up, but you didn’t. As the student looked distressed from the assignment, you stayed optimistic asking questions to direct the student in the right direction without giving them the right answer. You listened to the student as they spewed an egregious amount of terrible theories. You never lost your cool, explaining the equation as much as you needed to. When the students apologized for being stupid, you shushed them. 

-’’ If you were stupid, you wouldn’t give me answers in the first place. They may be wrong, but it proves you’re thinking. You’ll figure it out soon or later.’’ Your voice was soft, caring and hushed down. A bold contrast to Dr. Ratios's class. 

Ratio witnesses the interaction with a seemingly blank face. He didn’t understand how you were able to deal with so much idiocy. You had potential, potential wasted on helping idiots. Nonetheless, a part of him was impressed by your patience and stable emotional state. He didn’t necessarily agree with your methods, thinking you were too soft, but credit is due where it’s due. He left the premises with a wandering thought. 

The next class with him arrived and you sat in your usual spot. It took a while for everyone else to arrive. Once everyone was seated, you all waited patiently for Dr.Ratio to arrive. To everyone's detriment, your teacher arrived with an enormous pile of papers. He slammed the stack on his desk making a loud slamming noise before he turned towards the blackboard to write today’s plans. Everyone groaned as the words ‘’surprise test’’ appeared on the board. Some students started to freak out while others just sighed in exhaustion. Ratio wasn’t going to make it easy for you huh? He took the plaster mask off of his face and placed it on his desk before facing the class. He looked unimpressed by everyone’s reactions. 

-’’ Today, we’re going to see if you have been listening so far this semester.’’ He beamed loud enough for the whole classroom to hear. ‘’ You have an hour, no more no less, to answer these questions.’’

The whole class reluctantly mutters a ‘’yes, sir’’ as Ratio starts handing out the papers to each student. You reached out to your hand to take the papers. When it was your turn you carefully grabbed the papers but it resisted your pull. Ratio wasn’t letting go of it until you looked up at his eyes. He was staring you down mischievously, piercing your gaze with his gold, crimson eyes. The fainted grin on the corner of his lips. You felt your heart skip a beat as you helplessly stared at his face. He let go of the paper when your gaze reached his. 

-’’ I expect better from you, y/n.’’ He states coldly, before continuing his route. 

You were left speechless and flustered. You had to force your heart from skipping too many beats. You always thought your teacher was good-looking. You thought his attitude would be enough to throw you off, but your feelings were speaking otherwise. When the test started, you tried your best to concentrate, but the image of his eyes gazing into yours was making your brain overheat. Somehow you manage to write down mostly acceptable answers. You didn’t know how you kept your cool through it all. Not only was the test unprepared, but it was challenging. You could hear the discouraged sighs of your classmates. An hour passed and Ratio hollered the students to put their pens down. As he collected the paper, the tension in the classroom escalated. The students weren’t happy and it showed. When it was your turn, Ratio took your copy out of your hand. He gave it a quick look, frowning but scoffing and placing it on the pile. Well, that’s encouraging.

When every copy was collected, Dr.Ratio announced for the class to be dismissed, to which every student ecstatically ran off. You sighed in relief, ready to walk home and relax. As you pack your bags, a voice disturbs your thoughts. 

-’’ y/n, stay here, I want to have a word with you.’’ Ratio exclaimed loudly. 

Some of your classmates gave you apologetic looks, feeling bad for you. You gave Dr.Ratio a look, annoyed at the sudden order. You reluctantly sat back down on your chair. By the time everyone left, you were all alone with him. He took his sweet doing whatever he needed to do. You decided to bring out a book from your bag, reading meticulously. After a while, you looked up from your book to find Dr.Ratio grading the papers in front of you. Was he seriously going to make you wait here until he finished grading the entire stack? You sighed, aggravated. You look back down on your book, reading for what felt like hours. Suddenly, a slam in front of you breaks your concentration. You put your book down, only to see a graded paper in front of you. It’s a failed mark. You thought it was your copy until you read the name.

-’’ That’s not my name.’’ You stated calmly, staring up at the man towering over you. Your heart jumped again, but you kept composure.

-’’ Good to know you can read.’’ He says with a scoff on his face. ‘’ Your tutoring student hasn’t learned it seems.’’ 

You widen your eyes slightly, it was indeed a classmate you tutored the other day. You raised your eyebrow suspiciously at Ratio. How did he- 

-’’ I saw you trying to tutor him, it was excruciating to watch.’’

Oh, that’s how. You winced at his with an air of confusion. Then it clicked in your mind. The sudden test happened the day after your tutoring session. Did he seriously prepare an entire test because he felt disdain at your attempt to help your classmates?

-’’ Did you create this test to prove me wrong?’’ You mutter, slightly aggravated. 

He looks at you for a while, his eyes piercing deep into yours. You couldn’t help but think how pretty he was even with his dignified attitude.

-’’ How perceptive of you.’’ He grinned, amused by your reaction. ‘’ I wanted to prove to you how unproductive your methods are.’’

Your eyes widen, taken off guard by his bold confession. You couldn’t keep a snarl off your face. He has all the right to be unreasonable with you, but not with people who struggle to understand his teachings. So what if you were softer than him? So what if you had a more empathic approach to teaching than he did? You were more emotionally driven than him, but what is the issue with that? It made you feel some anger at the thought. If it wasn’t for the way he made your heart skip beats, you’d have the courage to tell him off then and there. Unfortunately for you, you folded way too easily to his expression on you. He observed your expression closely, a smirk appearing as he noticed your change in composure.

-’’ That is all, you are free to go now.’’ He says waving you off. 

You were left speechless, was he serious? This righteous, prideful asshole. You backed your bag without a word. You were fuming at this point. Hurt and baffled. You stormed towards the door, Ratio watching you leave. You opened the door with force before turning around to face him. ‘’ Just because you’re smart and handsome, doesn’t mean you have the right to bash people on the ground!’’ You exclaimed with a poisonous tone before leaving the room, letting the door slam shut behind you.

Your sudden outburst amused Ratio, before realizing what you’ve said. A look of surprise flashes on his face.

…Handsome?

You arrive at your apartment, throwing your bag on the floor, ready for this day to end. You shower, make dinner and watch the news. Blissfully unaware of what you’ve done. It’s only when you read your book in bed, the clock ticking slowly that you suddenly realize. Oh god, Oh no, You’ve just called your teacher, the man you unfortunately kinda have the hots for. You press your hands on your cheek, red from the sudden embarrassment. How were you going to face him tomorrow now….

...

The next day, you dreaded his class the entire time. You couldn’t concentrate on your other classes with the sheer anxiety you felt. Throughout the day you kept trying to rationalize yourself. Maybe he didn’t hear you. Maybe he did but simply ignored it. Maybe he’d just ignore you for the end of time now, which was honestly the better option for both of you. You couldn’t date him even if you wanted to. He was your teacher after all. Yes, the age gap wasn’t outrageous, but nonetheless. You both knew better than to succumb to these feelings, right…?

It’s finally time for your class with Dr.Ratio and you couldn’t be more dreadful about it. You take a deep breath, composing yourself to ask like everything is fine. You enter the classroom, happy to see you’re not the only one who has arrived. You sit in your regular spot, taking out your notes. The class fills slowly. Hours seem to pass as you anxiously await Ratio to enter and start today’s lesson. You still felt insulted by his game yesterday, the feelings mixing, confusing you further. You couldn’t wait to see him, as much as you dreaded his presence. Your thoughts wander, visualize his eyes, his hair and his chest. Wait, What? You shook your head, brushing the thought off. No, you could let yourself have a crush on him. At this moment, Ratio enters the room, bringing the class to a hush. He looks at the students in front of him, with an air of disdain. His gaze suddenly jolts towards you. Your heart jumps again, unable to tell the emotions behind his eyes. He sighs coldly, turning towards the blackboard to write down today’s subject. -‘’ Today’s lesson is about the basics of combinatory. Do not disappoint me.’’ He states. You couldn’t help but feel as if that warning was targeted at you. 

     The class ended, and you’re putting away your notes and pencils. You have tutoring planned for after class. Considering the subject you were freshly taught, it wouldn’t be a surprise if multiple showed up. You hurried your pace, rushing towards the door. Before you were able to leave, you felt a strong hand take hold of your wrist. The grip itself was firm, but not too harsh. You looked back in surprise to see Dr.Ratio next to you. Your thoughts exploded, anxiety rising. Did he hear what you said? Did he not forget? You try helplessly to hide the flushed expression on your face, hoping it won’t throw him off. He towers over you, his expression blank, his eyes devouring yours in interest. You gulp silently as you slowly meet his gaze, unable to avoid his muscly chest in the process. He squints his eyes in response. 

-’’ I-Is there an issue professor?’’ You manage to murmur out. His grip on your wrist loosens. He gives you a seemingly unamused look.

-’’ Mind if we…discuss before you head toward your tutoring?’’ He asks coldly.

You gulp silently, surprised by this impromptu proposition. You accept reluctantly. A smirk appears on his face. He leans towards you slightly. 

-’’ Wait here, while we wait for the crowd to leave.’’ He states with an expressionless look on his face.

Dr.Ratio watches you as you head back to your seat. He watches you as you sit down nervously. Unbeknownst to you, he’s been thinking about your words all night last night. He as always found you attractive from a distance. You’re even more beautiful from up close. The ways your eyes shine, and the way your cheek turns rosy from his attention. Unfortunately, he wasn’t here to fulfill any type of fantasy. Actually, he was going to break your heart. A teacher-student relationship is less than ideal, and you both had a reputation to keep. You weren’t hard to read, especially for a genius like him. Although the thought of making you cry gave him a pit feeling in his stomach, it was the best for everyone. To shatter your wishes, whether you knew they were impossible or not. Keeping you at a safe distance even if it meant never having a chance to rebuild any kind of interaction with you ever again. 

His gaze goes back to you once everyone has left. The class is silent as he locks the door. He doesn’t anyone to barge inside, making this hard moment harder for you. He was going to shatter you after all. He walks slowly towards his desk, the sounds of his shoes and your breathing echoing through the room. He calls you over. You put away the book you’ve been reading, awaiting him. You sit up and approach him as he leans on his desk. You stand in front of him, feeling minuscule.

-’’ What do you wish to discuss?’’ You ask, avoiding his gaze.

Ratio studies your face carefully, feeling his dedication falter now that you’re close. He gives you an unamused look, which raises your anxiety. He sighs. He raises his hand, about to speak before you cut him off. 

-’’ If it’s about my outburst towards you yesterday, I apologize!’’ You exclaim, your cheeks were rosy from embarrassment. You bow to him in respect. 

Ratio is caught off guard, staring at you with widened eyes. You manage to blank his thoughts for a few seconds.

-’’ I shouldn’t have lost composure in front of my superior, I take full responsibility.’’ You continue. Your heart squeezes when you hear him scoff. 

Dr.Ratio looks at you still bowed, a conflicted look on his face. He couldn’t help to think how adorable you looked, but he couldn’t help to also fear his feelings towards you. He was here to break your heart, to make you run away from him, but your sudden apology caused his brain to stop for the first time in forever. He finds himself wanting two things at the same time. He wanted you, your lips on his, but inside he fought those thoughts. He couldn’t. It would be unjust for you. He couldn’t let himself play with such a fragile dynamic. His rationality was slowly losing its grip on his conscience.

You stayed bowed, awaiting a scolding or any kind of punishment, but it never came. You feel a gentle hand on your shoulder. 

-’’ Stand up y/n.’’ He says, guiding your shoulder up. 

You meet eye-to-eye with him again. You notice a change in his expression. He looks embarrassed and conflicted. You decide not to comment on it. Your face flushes from the sight. You both stare at each other like this for what feels like an eternity. After a while, he takes his hand off your shoulder. 

-’’ You are forgiven. Go home.’’ He says almost sheepishly.

You nod slowly, taking a few steps back. You could cut the tension with a knife, as you slowly take your bags and head for the door. Ratio watches you. His gaze never leaves your body. When you leave his class without a word, he sighs, dejected. He wasn’t able to break your heart.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧NSFW Past This Point✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

     It's the next day, and although today was free, you couldn’t stay inside. As you walk around the guild station, your mind wanders to the events of last night. 

When you finally went home after the tutoring session, you couldn’t get Ratio out of your mind. Before bed, you were unable to dissipate the tension inside your body. Shamelessly, you ended up stimulating your clit with your fingers, imagining they belonged to Ratio instead. Pathetically moaning out his name softly out of your lips. 

You snapped yourself back to reality, hoping to forget that shameful night. You couldn’t keep fantasizing about him forever, it would hinder your studies, He was way out of your league anyway. He’s your superior, not your classmate. Yet, you couldnt wrap your head about how he acted with you yesterday after class. He was acting strange as if he had more to say. Maybe he felt something that day too? You quickly shake those thoughts away. You end up walking through the academic district, finding a bench to rest on. You quietly observed the trees and the plants around you, enjoying the calm. 

Dr. Ratio walked out of his office, plaster mask on his face. He was growing increasingly infuriated at the lack of concentration he was getting. His mind is still on the adorableness of your expression when apologizing to him, unable to decide if he can embrace you or not. You bring out the worst of him, the carnal desires that he so hopelessly tries to avoid in the name of intellect. He leaves the premises, deciding to take a well-deserved walk, surely some fresh air will bring him back to his senses. As he walked through the academic he thought about how his life as been out of balance since you appeared. Your body, your mind, it makes him go insane. He couldn’t keep his gaze off of you in class and it frustrated him. He can only hope to keep his distance from now on. Ratio knew you somehow had some form of attachment towards him. This game was getting more and more dangerous. This isn’t something you’d want so carelessly. Something suddenly caught the corner of his eyes. He turns around and sees you sitting peacefully on a bench across from him. His mind reels. He sighs heavily in frustration, his rationality thrown out of the window. 

Your eyes are closed, breathing deeply to enjoy the fresh air. Your mind slowly calms as you find yourself free of thoughts. Unfortunately for you, fate had other plans. You feel the bench shift in weight, someone has sat down next to you. You open your eyes only to be welcomed by Dr.Ratio himself. He sat, his legs slightly spread his profile face to you, His mask was on as he stared in front of him. He doesn’t speak for a while, as if he’s ignoring you. Your mind goes haywire once more, flashbanging you with thoughts of last night and recollections of yesterday’s events. You visibly blush, turning the back of your head against him. Tension sets above the both of you, and an uncomfortable silence sets in.

Your body lit a flame inside of you, once you desperately tried to distinguish. You wanted him, there was no denying it, yet you couldn’t find yourself to admit it. 

Ratio finally looked at you, witnessing your overwhelmed behaviour. He called out your name, to which you turned to face him. Behind his mask, Ratio’s eyes widened slightly. Your face was flushed, frustrated. He looked away from you once more, covering the mouth of his mask as if he was pondering. You looked at him curiously, your mind reeling. He groans heavily before grabbing your hand and dragging you away from there. You’re forced to follow him close behind, you try to free yourself from the grip, but he won’t budge. Ratio enters the building with you and barely throws you into his office. -’’ Hey! What the hell!’’ You shouted as he shut the door and locked it behind him. 

The mask made it impossible for you to read his emotions or his intentions. He approached you angrily, making you back up until your ass eventually bumps on his desk. Your arms reach behind you, gripping at the edge of the desk to hold yourself. Ratio stands in from of you, towering over you. You stare helplessly at the blank-faced mask. He leans towards you, preventing you from running away. -’’ Confess to me.’’ He blurts out, seemingly unfazed. You widen your eyes, a gasp leaving your throat. -’’ I- Excuse me?!’’ -’’ I know how you feel about me, you’re not hard to read. Quite easy actually. So confess, let me reject you, and we can move on and forget anything ever happened.’’ You stare at him appalled. A mixture of embarrassment and need curling inside your stomach. You felt insulted by the hurtful words, but you found yourself questioning what he meant. If he knew how you felt from the start, why pressure you like this? It’s not like you were planning to confess. You were ready to let these feelings die, so why was he so insistent to reject you in person? It clicked. Heat rises to your face. -’’ You feel the same.’’ You blurt out, sounding less surprised than you intended to. 

Ratio’s body tensed. He should’ve known that you would’ve figured it out. You were one of his top students after all. He sighs, unwilling to let this get out of control. -’’ Even if I did, it would be detrimental to the both of us.’’ He murmurs. -’’ I happen to be aware of the same consequences.’’ You whisper, your words rolling out of your tongue. 

Your needs starting to exceed your reasoning. The memories of the sins from all night plaguing your mind. The way moaned his name and the way you yearned for his touch. Something has never felt so forbidden to you. Yet, your core felt like it was on fire. Ratio noticed the gradual fissures in your expression. He leans in closer, irritated by both you and the way his body yearned for the same things as you.

-’’ Are you aware of what would happen if-’’ You cut him off, placing your lips on the lips of the masks. You stayed there for a few seconds before pulling your head back, waiting for a reaction from him. Behind the mask, Ratio’s eyes widened. His face felt hot anf his reasoning shattered as soon as he felt the pressure on his lips. He takes a step back from you, waiting to see if you’ll run. The longer you stayed still on the edge of that desk, the more his restraint was crumbling away. He removes the mask from his face. His eyes were furrowed, piercing deep inside your gaze. His face was reddened and startled by your bold move. An almost unperceivable grin on the corner of his lips. Your eyes never left his as he placed the mask on the corner of his desk. He leaned back. You couldn’t tell if he was annoyed at you or not. His lips would graze yours if you moved an inch.

‘’ Not a word about this outside this room. Understood.’’ He whispered dominantly, his breath leaving shivers on your skin. 

-’’  Not a word.’’ You whispered shakily, barely holding on to your conscience as it melted in front of him. 

-’’ Damn you.’’ He groaned, placing his lips hungrily on yours. Your mouth collapsed onto each other, months of attraction crashing in this moment. You wrap your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Ratio lifts you slightly, placing you on the top of the desk. His hands wander on your back, making you gasp. Ratio takes the opportunity to evade your lips with his tongue, exploring its every crevice. The kiss lasts for a while until Ratio breaks it. A soft moan escapes your lips as he trails kisses from your jaw to your neck. His hands trail back to your chest, slowly unbuttoning the first few buttons of your shirt revealing your bra and breast. He moves his kisses to your collarbone.

-’’ Fuck, Ratio…’’ You whimpered. 

You feel his hand grab your chin as he pulls off of you to look into your eyes. He seemed to enjoy the view, a grin at the edge of his lips.

-’’ Veritas. I order you to call me Veritas in private.’’ He commands you. 

You don’t find the words to answer, but you nod eagerly. Satisfied by your obedience, Veritas places his lips on the skin of your collarbone, bruising it slightly where no one would see. A low whine opens your mouth. You could feel his grin on your skin as you sweetly sang for him. He moves one of his legs between yours, passively rubbing your core, making you whimper more as he continues to bruise your skin. He pulls back, observing his canvas with a satisfied expression. Your eyes were watery from the fire burning in your core, and your cheeks were now a deep crimson. You looked pathetic to him and he reveled at the sight.

-’’ Look at you, is this what you wanted.’’ He purred, leaning back next to your ear. His hand slipped inside your bottoms, rubbing on the wet fabric of your panties.

You simply whine as an answer, letting him do as he pleases with you. He stops teasing your folds to swiftly pull off your bottom clothes. Leaving you with only your panties on. His lips find their way back on yours, devouring your mouth once more. He goes back to teasing your folds with his hand while the other trails its way to the clips of your bra. With a swift movement, he unclips your bra, pulling it off your body to reveal your bare breast to him. He escaped you with a pop, making you whimper at the sudden loss of heat. Without rest, he teases your nipple with his tongue. You moan softly at the way he treated your body, your head melting from the arousal you were drowning in. Your panties were now wet and sticky from the stimulation. A low chuckle escapes his lips at the sound of your blissful noises. He separates his lips from your nipple, making them perky from the chilly air.

Veritas traces kisses down your waist to the inner of your thighs. Your body shutters at his touches,  boosting his ego as he sees you melt before him. His thumb draws a circle on your clothes cunt, drawing sweet honeyed mean out of you. Your whole body felt hot, your core twitching at the pleasure he was giving you. Veritas scoffs at the slick on your panties.

-’’ You’ve been thinking for a while, haven’t you?’’ He growls, dangerously close to your soaking folds. The vibration makes you whimper lowly in your throat. ‘’Be a darling and take that thing off.’’ He purrs, slipping a finger under the fabric and stretching it before letting it go, slapping against your skin. 

You exhale heavily, raising your thighs towards you. You push your underwear away with your head, undressing your cunt in front of him. His eyes glisten with hunger and lust. He can’t help to lick his lips, witnessing your glistening cunt. The gesture makes you embarrassed, causing you to close your legs together slightly. Veritas frowns, grabbing your thighs with his hands, and spreading them. You choke a gaps, feeling the cold air. 

-’’ That’s better.’’ He chimes. 

His words made you hotter, feeling more slick pooling down your cunt as he eagerly place a kiss right on your clit. You shutter, unable to move your thighs out of his rough grasp. Ratio starts leaving small pecks around your cunt, teasing you as you struggle to keep yourself together. He left a long lap with his tongue between the folds of your cunt as a warning. You barely catch your breath before he dives in, finally devouring you as if you were his last meal. A loud moan escapes your lungs, resonating in the room. Your noises decorate the room as his tongue makes its magic on you. Veritas knows how to make you feel better than you could ever imagine. He closes his eyes as he fucks your hole with his mouth, tracing circles around your folds with his tongue. He takes his time, making you feel your edge as your back collapses on his desk, spread like a piece of art only he can savour. Your juices drip down his chin as he continues to taste your essence. You were about to reach for his hair before he let go of his grip on your thighs, leaning away from your cunt. The filthy display of his chin covered in your slick twist a knot in your core. Your needy walls clench at nothing, making you desperate for some sort of release. He gazes at your expression, like a predator in the middle of devouring its prey.

-’’ Take those legs and hold them there darling~.’’ He whispers, lous enough for you to hear. 

You took no time to fulfill his request. You held your thighs close to your chest, freeing his hand to properly treat you. Veritas goes back to lapping at your cunt. He slowly inserts two fingers into your soaking cunt, getting a whine out of you. He pumps them in and out of you at a slow pace, building up your high. Your breaths are erratic, and your mind is completely blank apart from the pleasure you’re receiving. Soon after, Veritas leaves a few kisses on your puffy and reddened clit, giving it a suck from time to time. The sensations make you shiver. Your skin jolts every time his mouth pleases your clit. You mewl pathetically as he curved his fingers, applying pressure to your g-spot. Veritas separates his mouth from your puffy to give you comforting kisses on your inner thigh. He fastens the pace of his fingers, driving you to the edge of insanity. As soon as you clench his fingers, so close to your release, he pulls his fingers out of you. You muffle a cry, the knot in your core loosening painfully. Your body is begging for friction, something to fill and stretch you. 

Veritas gets up from his knees, whipping your fluids off his chin with his arm. A pleased grin appears on his face as he watches you lay mostly bare on his desk. You shuffle your weight slightly, feeling exposed by his gaze on you. Your hand is still holding your thigh against your perked-up breast. He leans over you, pressing the clothed prison of his hard cock twitching near your cunt. He forces the fingers he use to fuck your pussy into your mouth. You instinctively suck on them, rolling your tongue on his fingers to lick them clean. He pulls them out with a satisfied look on his face.

 He gently holds your cheek within the palm of his hand, moving your face up so that he’s able to plant a soft kiss on your lips. He pulls back, a line of slick connecting you both. His gaze has softened momentarily, observing the now visible hickeys on your shoulder and collarbone.

-’’ You are a magnificent display of art.’’ He whispers, his lips gazing at yours.

You didn’t have the strength to muster an answer, only holding back a soft whine. Veritas chuckles deeply, trailing his back back on your cunt, giving it a few teaseful slaps. You squeal, feeling your hole clench at nothing. You could feel the twitches of his begging cock on your inner thigh. Veritas gets off of you to free himself from his trousers, never losing eye contact with you. His eyes glisten at the thought of fucking you right there on his desk. You shiver in anticipation. His member almost bounces out of his boxers, aching in search of relief. You stare in awe at the display in front of you. You raise your hand towards your face, attempting to hide your embarrassment. Once free of cloth, he leans back towards you, his member sloppily grinding on your cunt, soaking itself in your slick. You gasp at the sudden pressure on your core. Veritas takes hold of your wrist, moving it away from your face to reveal your flushed erotic expression. He hums, pleased with the view. He places a firm kiss on your jaw.

-’’ You’re beautiful.’’ He chimes with a heavy breath. 

He positions the tip at the entrance of your cunt, applying minimal pressure to prepare you. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, placing slow and sloppy kisses. You choke a cry, wanting nothing more but for him to spread you. He answers your cry, plunging slowly inside avoiding breaking you. You gasp at the fullness as he hisses in the crook of your neck. You wrap your arms around his back, keeping him close to you. Your pussy clenches around his length as he penetrates you.

-’’ You’re so damn tight, you haven’t done this a lot haven’t you?’’ He scoffs, lifting his head to meet your gaze. 

You look dazedly at him, and a few tears drop at the edge of your eyes. He kisses them off softly. You bring your arms around his neck, urging him closer to you as he starts moving his hips into you. Your hands find their way to his cheeks, pressing your lips on his and he melts into it. You both deepen the kiss between stifled moans. The obscene noises of wet skin slapping were melodic to your ears. Your pussy clenching desperately on his cock as he gradually quickens his pace. Veritas takes hold of your leg, spreading them further to fuck you to his liking. His thick cock hits all the right spots, giving you pleasure in the form of friction. He breaks the kiss with a raspy groan, feeling himself succumbing to his high. He raises his upper body, sweat dripping off of his muscles. With a hand, he pushes back the damp hair sticking to his forehead. Such an appealing view brings you close to the edge. He looks inhumanly attractive, like a statue made of marble. He seems to read your mind as you carelessly stare at him in awe. A chuckles escapes him, as he uses his now free hand to apply pressure on your neglected clit. You mewl at the sudden stimulation, but you welcome it, your legs shaking erotically. Veritas continues to fuck you, reaching deeper into you. His thumb rotates gently around the swollen clit. You feel the tip of his length barely kissing your cervix. The knot in your core tightens more and more, feeling like it’ll burst. At this point you can only shutter pathetically, exhaling gibberish begging for Veritas to let you come. Veritas is more than happy to let you, as he continues to bully your clit, slapping his cock deep into you. He grabs you waist, strong enough to leave bruises, slapping your body harshly on the base of his cock. The base of his leg now lines with a white ring of filth. He leans closer, whispering with a honeyed tone, his breathing erratic and hot. 

-’’ You’re going to come for me now, right darling.’’ 

-’’ Ugh~Ah~ p-please fill me~’’ You manage to beg in between hot breath and the mush your brain has become. 

Veritas titters breathlessly, amused by your fucked-out behaviour. He wasn’t expecting you to beg for his seed inside of you so easily. As much as he was honoured by the proposition, he was conscious enough to know this wasn’t a good idea. He kisses your sticky forehand gently. 

-’’ I’m sorry, maybe next time.’’ He whispers. You feel the knot inside of you ready to burst, moaning loudly with tears in your eyes. Veritas purrs praises next to your ear, encouraging you to come on his cock. He licks a tear dripping down your cheek. The knot snaps, causing your body to vibrate vigorously under him. You grip his back with your hands, leaving marks with your nails. Your cunt clenches tight on his cock causing him to let out a single moan. He releases his grip on your thighs to hold you, guiding you through your orgasm. You whimper softly, your head buried in the crook of his neck. He suddenly let go of you, forcing a cry out of your sore throat. He pulls his cock out of your cunt to pump it with his hand. Veritas moans a swear as he lets his release splatter all over your stomach and chest. His warm come glistening on your skin. 

You stare at the ceiling, unable to formulate any kind of thought. You stayed still on that desk for what felt like hours until you felt a humid rag cleaning the filth off your body. You lift yourself with your elbow, witnessing Veritas cleaning you up. In your daze state you call out to him. He turns his head towards you with a soft smile appearing on his face. He’s now fully clothed, his hair still moist from all the sweating. After finishing your clean up he leans to press a kiss on your cheek. 

-’’ Let’s get you clothed, darling. We need to discuss some things.’’ 

You nod slowly, not sure if you understand his words. He gently lifts you from the desk, making sure you're sitting comfortably. You wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him tenderly. He huffs affectionately, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. 

-’’ Let stay like this a while…’’ You murmur. 

-’’ alright.’’ 

This is bound to be an interesting semester.

[katiexpunk]

Reporting for Duty | Pairing AirMarshal!Javier Peña & Fem!Reader

Summary:  You're a flight attendant. You need to be fucked, and that much becomes all the more obvious when a hot, flirty Air Marshal named Javier shows up to fly your leg with you. That's it. That's the fic.

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI Word count: ~6.2K Warnings: Airplanes, reference to a gun/badge/uniformed authority, pet names, unprotected p in v sex, pining/flirting, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), bathroom sex, airplane sex, size kink, creampie, references to the "bend and snap" from Legally Blonde lol, some fluff at the end. Also image above of the flight attendant is for graphic purposes only, there are no physical descriptions of reader apart from clothing. Authors Note: This is a purely self-indulgent fic that I wrote ON A PLANE. Literally, full brightness down on my screen, hoping to god people weren't reading this filth as they walked past me. And to the woman next to me catching glances at my screen, reading your little romance novel, this one is you. Also, the seat I assigned Javier was the seat I was in. As @sydneyinacoma put it ~ when life imitates art ~ ya know? Enjoy.x

Horny airplane sex below the cut.

There wasn’t always an Air Marshal on your flight, but when there was, you knew the routine like the back of your hand. 

It was drilled into your head in training, to always know where the armed passengers are in the event of an emergency. 

They would be brought down the gateway by a gate agent before the flight in order to show their badge to the crew and share their seat number.

They would introduce themselves, share the necessary information, and then get back off the plane to join the other passengers in the general boarding process. 

After your last leg, while the plane is being cleaned, and there is still plenty of time before the next flight, you keep yourself busy in the front of the plane, waiting patiently to meet the Marshal you had heard from the pilot who would be joining on this leg. 

You didn’t expect to lose your breath as the man stepped onto the plane. 

He’s tall, tan, and well-built with dark brown hair dusting his forehead and a well-trimmed mustache. He dressed casually, unassuming like they were all supposed to be, but you nearly feel your knees buckle as you study his simple t-shirt, his tight jeans; and the black jacket that’s pulled taught over his shoulders.

He had to conceal his weapon, but God, you want to pull his jacket off to see where he’s stashed it. You suspect it might be in the waistband of his jeans on his back.

As your eyes travel down his form, your mouth goes dry and you stare – probably less than discreetly – at the front of his jeans.

Oh.

It was only when he walked past you that you realized you hadn’t blinked since he stepped onto the plane.

He went into the cockpit to meet with the pilots doing their pre-flight paperwork. 

You shake your head slightly, taking yourself out of your daze. What was that?

You try to ignore the fluttery feelings in your stomach as you wait for him to come back out. Why are you so flustered, you think to yourself, hoping that you appear normal to the rest of the flight crew.

You spend the next few minutes anxious, chewing your lip, playing with your hair, attempting to look like you’re taking inventory of the soft drinks. But you’re not, you’re too busy internally chastising yourself for acting like an idiot, for not even greeting him, just eye fucking him. 

You walk to the back of the plane, trying to conjure up more time to compose yourself before he comes out to make his additional rounds of introduction. 

He finally comes out of the cockpit and starts to say hello to the rest of the crew, shaking hands and engaging in light conversation with your fellow attendants up ahead. 

He walks down the aisle of the plane, his frame so broad he has to slightly angle his body to make himself fit. You feel your palms get sweaty as you watch him near closer. 

You wipe your hand on your uniform as he extends his out to you.

“Javier Peña,” he says gruffly, giving you a firm handshake. His hands are so much bigger than yours and his dark eyes seem to bore right into you. 

“I suspect this flight will be business as normal, but let me know if you see anything unusual.”

Besides a ridiculously hot Air Marshal? 

You realize you’re still holding onto his hand, and you awkwardly drop it, cringing as you try to laugh it off. 

“Oh! Of course! Yeah, sure – no problem! I will definitely let you know if someone catches my eye. Uh – something, I mean,” you say. 

He looks at you curiously and you wonder if he can hear the sound of your rapid heartbeat. 

“Right. Thank you,” he says, finishing the statement off with your name. 

Hearing your name come out of his mouth nearly knocks the wind out of you. 

“Wait, how did you…?” you question, realizing you never gave him your name.

He raises a brow and glances down at your jacket before making eye contact. “It’s on your name tag.”

“Oh!” You flush as you look down at the small, golden rectangle pinned to her lapel that has your first name engraved clearly in black, uppercase lettering. Name tag. Obviously. “Right…”

He places both hands on his hips and looks at you with amusement.  “Well, thanks again. I’ll be in 37D,” he says, giving you a little wink that you barely register before he’s turned around and heading back down the aisle. 

You feel lightheaded as he moves on, the musky scent of his cologne lingers around you. 

One of your co-workers walks up behind you and shakes her head with a big smile, obviously noticing your fluster from the interaction. 

“Hey, don’t worry about him,” she says.

“What?” you respond, her voice snapping you out of your stupor. 

“I’ve flown with this guy a few times – he can be a bit intense, but pretty fun once you get him to loosen up. No need to be nervous,” she says. 

“Oh, um, I’m not…uh, thank you,” you say, not very convincingly. 

You give her a weak smile and head up to the front of the plane to welcome the passengers beginning to file into their seats. 

When you first started this job, the thought of anyone on board having a firearm did frighten you a bit, but you’ve been doing this job for a while now and it doesn’t bother you anymore. 

X X X X

Everything moves like clockwork, but you feel antsy as the passengers board the plane. You put on your biggest smile and welcome them aboard like you normally do, but you’re waiting for Javier to board. You know it’s lame, but you really just want to see him again. Stupid considering you’ll have six hours in the air with him. 

Of course, he would board when his section when called, just like everyone else, so he’ll be among the final few to file in.  

You greet each passenger with the other flight attendants, a fake smile plastered on your face. Usually, you love your job and your smiles are normally genuine, except for when you have a difficult passenger, but you’re growing impatient. 

It was rare to get eye candy like this on a flight. 

Sometimes there was a guy who you and the other flight attendants would giggle about and argue about whose turn it was to go down the aisle, but never one like this.

Javier has such intense eyes and strong shoulders and you imagine he would so easily be able to lift you against a wall and –

“Hi!” you say a bit too eager as he finally comes on board. You feel your entire body go warm as you attempt to silence your intrusive thoughts. 

“Enjoy your flight, sir,” you say.  

You almost missed it.

The corner of his lips lifts up in a small smile before he turns his head with a quick “thanks” and walks down the aisle.

You didn’t realize, but you bit your lip as you watched him walk away. You could’ve watched that for hours, but instead, you go through your routine as the stragglers make their way onto the plane. You do your final crosschecks and close the plane doors. 

You begin to run through the safety instructions. People never pay attention; whether it was their first flight or their hundredth, most people just glare at their devices as you and your colleagues walk them through the procedures, clicking the unattached seatbelt above their head or pretending to fake blow into the flotation vest. 

People rarely ever pay attention, but you feel a pair of dark eyes trained on you as you continue your demonstrations. 

He has flown hundreds, if not thousands, of times – that’s his job. He was probably just trying to blend in and make it look like he was paying attention. 

You catch his gaze and he gives you another half-smile, and you nearly forget the last step of the safety demo.

X X X X

Time creeps by. By the time the plane takes off, reaches elevation, and the seatbelt lights are turned off, you feel like you want to jump out of your skin.  God, what is wrong with you? 

You hadn’t felt this level of frustration in a long time. 

Maybe it was his eyes or the way he smiled at you. 

Maybe it was the fact he stretched his arms above his head as you wrapped up the demonstration, revealing a little skin on his tummy, and you practically forgot your own name. 

Maybe it was the fact that it was going to be a long flight, and you would have to go down the aisle multiple times. 

Maybe it’s because you haven’t been properly fucked in well over six months, since your last, rather disappointing, hook-up on a layover. 

It’s probably everything.

You look at the thin watch on your wrist, and it’s time to offer the first round of drinks to the passengers. You try to remain calm as you walk down the aisle, politely addressing everyone and handing them their requested drinks. 

Almost to Javier’s seat, you catch his gaze and see him scanning the aircraft until they land on you. 

Did his face just soften or are you just imagining things? 

You feel your pulse quicken as you approach him. 

You turn to the row across from him first, feeling his eyes on your backside as you hand them their sodas. 

When you turn back to him, you freeze, forgetting how to form proper sentences. 

“Hey,” he says, voice cool and nonchalant, like he didn’t just send off a chorus of butterflies inside you.

“Thirsty?”

What the fuck. That’s definitely not what you’re supposed to say, nor what you had intended to. 

“I’m okay, thank you,” the older woman next to him in a pink sweater responds before she puts her earbuds back in and turns her attention to a game of Merge Mansion on her iPad.

You close her eyes in total humiliation before gathering the courage to look back down at him.

“And – and you?” you ask, trying to keep your voice calm. 

His mouth quirks up in a smile. Fuck. 

“Am I what, sweetheart?” he says, a flash darting across his eyes, not really questioning, just wanting to fluster you some more. 

He knows. He must know. It was his literal job to be observant and you’re about as transparent as fucking cling wrap. 

“Are you thirsty, sir?” you ask, again. 

“Maybe. What do you recommend?” he asks. 

You feel your heart pounding against your ribs. 

“I like water,” you blurt. 

Stupid, so fucking stupid. Who says water?

He tries to conceal a laugh and says, “Water would be great, thanks.” You curse yourself for what feels like the millionth time this flight as you pour him a blue plastic cup of lukewarm water. He watches you with an amused grin on his face. 

You could hand him his drink and awkwardly walk away, or you could get even. 

You choose the latter.  After handing him the drink, you pull your hand back and accidentally knock over a cup on your drink cart. 

“Oops, clumsy me,” you say, and he glances at the cup on the ground before bringing his gaze back up to your face. 

You give him your best five-star customer service smile before turning around to pick it up. You hold onto the cart and lean over, slowly reaching toward the floor. 

Your uniform was modest and consisted of the same top for each attendant, but women could choose to wear either pants or a skirt. 

You’re glad you decided on the skirt. 

As you grab for the cup, you look back, and the way Javier is openly staring at your ass makes you think he agrees with the skirt verdict. 

His eyes flicker to yours, and he immediately looks away, a clear blush spreading across his face as he stares at his interlaced hands. 

Oh, so he is embarrassed now? Good.

You rise with the cup in hand. You smile at him once more before moving on to the rows behind him. 

He turns around. As you’re grabbing the next set of drinks off the cart, you glance out of the corner of your eye. There’s no doubt in your mind – Mr. Impossibly Hot Air Marshal is definitely checking you out. 

You feel giddy; his job literally involves stealth, but he seems to forget that as you turn your head the slightest bit to meet his eye. He quickly faces forward as if he wasn’t just obviously caught. 

You make your way back down the aisle, walking past his aisle seat, and you feel something brush against your calf.

You turn around to see Javier pulling his hand back to himself. 

His eyes meet yours. You feel goosebumps erupt over your entire body. 

You give him a shy smile, not your over-the-top flight attendant one, and he returns it in full.

A while later, as you bring the food cart through the aisle, you’re still nervous, but slightly less so knowing you’re messing with him too. 

And fuck if it’s not exciting. 

You keep your friendly demeanor up until you get to his row. 

You look at the woman next to him, she’s switched from her iPad to some thick romance novel with a toned and chiseled man on the cover, and you smile before asking if she wants some pretzels or anything for purchase. The woman shakes her head and quickly buries her face back into her pages. 

You then look at Javier and he glances up at you curiously. 

“Hungry?” you ask, lowering your voice in a flirty tone, the question laced with suggestion. With the engines of the plane, you feel safe knowing that only he could hear you. 

“Starving,” he says, dropping his hand so his fingertips brush your leg discreetly. 

X X X X

You don’t have a ton of opportunities to make your way back to his seat, but you take every chance you get. You even found yourself disappointed when another attendant offered to go out to collect the trash. 

You stand at the divider between first and economy class and grin as you see his face. He’s far away, but you can tell he’s disappointed too. 

The hours pass and each time you go to the back of the plane, you both seem to get more daring. 

You were suddenly clumsier than usual, dropping things by him. You make sure not to crouch as you pick them up, emulating your best “bend and snap” from Legally Blonde. 

Javier’s hand reaches higher, even gently squeezing your thigh at one point. 

He’d hit the call light, and ask for tiny things, another cup of water, a pen, headphones even, although he already has his own. 

Anytime you handed him something, your fingers brushed. 

You can’t take it anymore – you feel like you’re going to explode, the irony is not lost on you it’s a result of the Air Marshal. 

You look out the window of the plane, and the sky is turning orange from the setting sun and full of fluffy clouds. Naughty thoughts plague your brain.

His hands are so big. When he squeezed your thigh, you wished his hands were under your skirt.

You think about how badly you just want to rip off his jacket and feel the muscles you know are hiding under the sleeves. 

If it were just you two on the plane, you’re sure you would already have your skirt hiked up on your waist, grinding him for all he’s worth. 

But you’re at work. 

He’s at work. 

And though you’re in public, the thought of him leaves you positively soaked.

Utterly annoyed and beyond sexually frustrated, you excuse yourself to the bathroom in the back of the plane, close to his seat. 

You try to fix the problem yourself, making quick circles on your clit in a desperate attempt to cum, but you don’t make any progress. You quickly give up and sigh, leaning your head against the wall. 

The tiny bathroom is not doing anything to help you get off, no matter how turned on you are. 

Unless…

An idea floods your brain. 

Fuck, you’d be so fired if you were caught. He’d be fired. If he was even interested, that is.

But it’s worth a shot.

You quickly clean yourself up, straighten yourself out in the mirror, and go back out.

X X X X

The flight only had another two hours or so left, and the overhead light would soon be turned off. You and your fellow attendants are set to bring out the last round of water.

You casually stroll down the aisle, smiling and nodding, thinking of nothing other than getting to Javier. 

When you make it to his row, the woman next to him is asleep; the spine of her book is cracked open, the pages facing down in her lap, fully revealing the cover title Dangerous Connections. 

Without asking, you pour him a cup of water. As you hand it to him, you tilt the cup a tiny bit, and a few drops of water land on his lap.

It was only a tiny spill, but you make sure to give your most convincing fake gasp. 

“I am so sorry – here!” you say, handing him the cup before grabbing a few cocktail napkins, pressing them to his thigh, dangerously close to his cock.

Javier freezes. 

“How clumsy of me,” you continue, pretending like you didn’t notice the way his breath hitched at your touch, how his stomach tightened. 

“I hope I didn’t get you too wet,” you say, pulling back, fingers gently brushing against his now-growing bulge. 

Water splashes on the floor as Javier clenches the flimsy plastic cup in his fist, his eyes dark as he gazes up to your face. 

You grin and bend over to clean the bit of water on the floor, and when you look back at him, he has his eyes shut. His jaw is clenched and his breathing is undeniably shallow. 

“I’m very sorry about that, sir,” you say, bending closer to him. 

Javier opens his eyes and tries to say something, but he stays silent. 

“If there’s anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to ask,” you say, the statement once again laced with suggestion. 

He shifts in his seat, and you don’t miss the way he pulls on his jeans, trying to adjust the thick denim to accommodate for the growing lack of space. 

You stand up and pour another glass, taking the moment to let out a shuddering breath. You weren’t sure where all of your boldness was coming from, but you’re proud of yourself. 

You like making him sweat. 

You lean down to him once more and hand him the cup, speaking into his ear, 

“This airline strives to make sure that all of your needs are satisfied, sir.” 

You hear him audibly gulp, and you stand back up, smiling as you walk away. 

X X X X

The sky is now pitch-black, the overhead lights are off, and most of the passengers are asleep.

Now or never.

You psych yourself up to go back to him, but you’re dying.

You’re lightheaded as you bring out the last trash bag, you wonder if you might need an oxygen mask. 

You look up as you make your way down and even in the dim light, you can see his face – his eyes are dark and hungry, and they follow your every movement. 

No, you definitely just need him.

Since most people are asleep, you’re able to move through the aisle much quicker, and soon enough you are once again by Javier, smiling as you hold open the trash bag. 

The screen of the sleeping woman was lit up with the map showing the plane’s progress across the country, and the colors light up Javier’s face as he throws out the napkins, one by one, prolonging your presence.

“I really am sorry about earlier,” you say, not actually sorry, and he damn well knows it.

He doesn’t throw out the last napkin, he simply sticks it in his pocket.

“You’ve been a really good passenger,” you say, suddenly nervous again, realizing what you’re about to offer. 

“Have I now?” He looks unsure, but questioning, like he can’t tell what you’re about to say. 

“I was wondering if…” you trail off. 

He was looking at you in that way and you feel your stomach flip.

“Never mind, I’m sorry, you’re probably busy, so I’ll just – ”

You close the bag and turn to leave, but Javier grabs your wrist, his grab on you gentle but firm.

He whispers your name. It’s the first time he’d said it since the flight started, and you wonder if he can feel your pulse quicken under his grip.  

He doesn’t say anything else, just raises a single brow in a signal to go on. 

You sigh and he lets go of your wrist. 

You bite your lip and play with the bag in your hands. “Since I got – um – accidentally spilled water on you earlier and just because you’ve been a wonderful passenger this evening…”, you look at him and give him a smile. “I was wondering if you would let me personally introduce you to the mile-high club.”

His smile grows throughout your confession and before you let nerves get the better of you and decide to ditch the whole idea, you lean down and whisper, “Bathroom; three minutes.” 

Without letting him respond, you turn on your heels and walk back to the front of the plane. You excuse yourself to the bathroom again and take a deep breath, opening the curtain, and walking straight to the back of the plane. 

The people in the rows behind Javier were luckily all asleep, and you keep your eyes on the bathroom door, not daring to look at him as you pass.

You quickly open the door and slip inside, leaning against the door as it shuts. 

You have three minutes, if not less by now. 

You look at your reflection in the mirror and adjust your hair. You pace around the small space, chewing your lip in anticipation. 

What do you think you’re even doing? This is a bad idea, he’s probably not going to even come. 

But before your mind can convince you to back out, the door slides open. 

Javier steps inside the bathroom and closes the door quickly behind him. 

The rush of the engines seems especially loud in this bathroom, but you’re glad for that. He seems even larger in the small confines of the room, and you realize you’re holding your breath as he engages the lock behind him. 

You lean against the sink and he crosses the small space to you. His arms bracket your body, his hands gripping the counter on both sides behind you. You trail your hands up his chest, finally feeling the thickness of the muscle under his clothing. 

Your knees buckle as he grabs your waist and pulls himself against you, your faces inches apart for seconds before he finally closes the distance as you revel in his solid form.  

He tastes so good and almost immediately, you shove your tongue into his mouth – you’re needy and frustrated and very tired of waiting.

The kiss is sloppy and desperate, but so hot as you tangle your fingers in his hair, moaning as he bites your lip, his mustache tickling the delicate skin on your face.  

You feel something hard bump into your thigh and grin.

“Is that a gun in your pants?” you ask, panting into his mouth, or are you just happy to see me?” 

“Gun,” he torts.

“…oh, you say. 

“But this,” Javier says as he positions his hips and pushes his quickly stiffening erection against your thigh, “is all you.”

You practically squeal in excitement and crash your lips back to his, sighing as his hands trail down your waist and he grabs your ass in a tight squeeze. 

He kisses down your jaw and nips at her earlobe, all hot breath and lust, the sensation causes you to scratch your nails against his scalp, holding onto his shoulder for dear life. 

“I’ve been half-hard this entire fucking flight,” he grows into your ear, grinding his hips against yours. 

You feel your entire body heat up as you shove him against the opposite wall and slide your hands under his jacket, pushing the garment off his shoulders.

It crumples to the floor and you grip his now free biceps, grinning before kissing him again, hot and heavy.

“Then let me take care of that for you,” you say against his lips and you hear him groan. 

You give him one last kiss before pulling away and slowly dropping to your knees in the cramped space. 

“Wait,” he says. 

You pause, your brow furrowed, wondering if he was going to ask you to stop. 

He reaches by his side, unholsters his gun, and sets on the little ledge next to the sink.

You didn’t want to admit it, but knowing he is the only person with any real authority on this plane turns you on. 

“Sorry, go on sweetheart,” he asserts. 

You go back to the job at hand, popping open the button on his jeans before dragging the zipper down, moving rather slowly, enjoying how fidgety Javier is.

You grab the waistband of his boxers and jeans, pulling them down all together in one movement.  

You could tell he was big when you felt him pressed up against you, but holy fuck.

Your thighs clench in anticipation, your panties growing more soaked by the second. You can’t wait anymore. You take his length in your hand and slowly move your hands up and down.

Javier nearly slams his head back into the wall and you see him bite his lip, stifling a groan.  

You bring one hand down to cup his balls and the other teases up the side of his shaft, thumb ghosting over the red and weeping head.

A bead of precum forms at the tip, and you dart your tongue out to lick it. 

Even over the roaring engines, you hear his sighs, and a rough “fuck, baby.”

You trace your tongue under the underside of his cock, before giving the tip a kiss.

Javier’s fists intertwine with your hair, slightly tugging on it as he reflexively thrusts forward. You firmly grip his hips and hold them in place as you take him into your mouth. His hands remain fisted in your hair as you bob up and down on his cock, relaxing your jaw to take him as far as you could, bringing your hands back down to do the rest. 

You suck and suck, and suck, working him through moans, until you decide to pull back with a satisfying pop. Seeing him rock-hard, and the taste of his skin has you soaking for him. You need him to fuck you. 

You stand up and Javier cups the back of your head, pulling you in for a deep kiss. 

“God, you’re incredible,” he mumbles against your lips.

“Do you have a thing for flight attendants, Marshal Peña?” You tease, already fighting with the material of your skirt so you can pull it up around your waist. 

You know your job was a turn-on for a lot of guys, and the humor of an air marshal having a kink for it wasn’t lost on you. 

“Do you have a thing for Air Marshals, Ms. “oops sorry about that,” he says, grabbing your skirt and hiking it up, before pushing you up against the sink and hiking your thigh up his side.

You angle your hips and feel his fingers curl around the cotton material of your underwear, and he drags them off in one swoop. 

For a quick second, you wish you’d worn something sexier, but clearly, it doesn’t matter because they’re ruined anyway.  

Javier’s mouth is at your throat, and his large fingers make their way to your core, where you need him the most before he drags them through the slick coating of your folds, one eventually slipping inside your wet and waiting hole. 

You bite into his shoulder to muffle your moan and grind against his digits as he works to add a second finger, skillfully stroking and curling them inside you. 

He pulls his fingers out and you whine at the loss, but then he brings them to his mouth, sucking your slick from his fingers.

“I told you I was hungry,” he says, both hands now massaging your thighs. “Think you can help me with that?” 

You whimper as you nod, the back of your head hitting the mirror as he kneels into position, trailing soft kisses up your inner thigh.  

“Javier, fuck, please,” you beg. 

He slides one hand up your body and you take a few of his fingers into your mouth, stifling your loud moans as he licks a trail up your center, his tongue darting in and out of you, lapping at you like you’re his final meal.

Your hands card through his hair as you suck on his fingers, pulling hard with your teeth as his tongue works against you, his nose ghosting your clit. 

He removes his fingers from your mouth and returns the length of them back inside you, and moves his tongue up to your throbbing clit. 

You’re so close, but before you can come, he pulls back, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and grins up at you. 

You grip his shoulders, trying to pull him up, but Javier stands up and suddenly tucks his hands under your thighs, picks you up, and pushes you back against the first wall.

You were right – he had no problem lifting you as you wrapped your legs around his waist, panting as you feel the tip of his hard cock teasing your slick entrance.

“Oh God – Javi-”

The rest of his name is cut off as he lowers you onto his length and you nearly cry out from the stretch of him, but you nuzzle into his neck to keep quiet.

Holy shit; he feels better than you imagined as you slide down fully on his wet thickness, taking him in fully, moaning as he nips at your throat. 

“Javi – Javier,” you moan into his ear, begging him to move, to just take you.

He starts slowly as he positions you in his arms, then picks up his pace, grunting as he begins to pound into you. 

“Gonna fucking wreck you,” he says through a moan, “ugh, so fucking tight, Cariño.” 

The pet name causes your walls to clench harder around him. 

You are both already so close to the edge, your crawl to the cliff of your orgasm turns into a sprint as he fucks you against the wall. 

You bite his neck, whimpering into his ear, and beg for him to fuck you harder; faster. 

He obeys, your skirt and jacket riding up against the grainy surface of the wall as you try to find something to hold on to – his hair or shoulders – but all you can focus on is how hot he feels, how well he fills you, and how this is undoubtedly the best fuck you’ve ever had. 

“fuck – sh-should I pull out?” he asks, his brow furrowed. 

“N-no – I’m on-” you gasp as he tilts his hips, continuing to thrust into you at a new, perfect angle. “The pill,” you finish, bringing a hand down to your center to touch yourself. You can tell Javier is nearly there, just holding back for you to come first.

“I’m-” He pants, bouncing you against him to let you finish first.

“Javier,” you moan, your head falling back against the wall as waves of pleasure course through you, your vision going white, hooking your ankles behind his back as you ride him out. Your orgasm builds in waves and continues to wash over you as Javier buries himself within you. His groans are soon to follow, and he lets hot ropes of cum fill you up, still with a bruising grip on your thighs. 

You breathe together, your chests falling and rising rapidly as you look into each other’s relaxed, sedated eyes.

“What the hell was that?” Javier asks, that ridiculously attractive smile on his face.

You shrug lazily against the wall and grin down at him. “I don’t know – I guess I have a thing for air marshals,” you say, and wink at him. 

Javier laughs as he gently pulls out and then places you back on the floor, your legs still shaking; he places a hand on your hip to steady you. 

“You know, you make it impossible for a guy to do his job around here,” Javier says, grabbing his jacket off the floor and tucking himself back into his jeans. “You weren’t exactly making things easy for me, either,” you smile as you start to collect toilet paper in order to clean up the cum dripping down your thighs. 

“What was I supposed to do? Not follow you? I’m pretty sure that would make me the biggest idiot on the planet,” he says. You can’t help but to kiss him again. It’s soft, and the warmth of it extends down to your feet. 

You’re both silent as you finish cleaning yourselves up. Once you look like you hadn’t just fucked each other's brains out in the airplane bathroom. 

“Okay,” you say, turning back around from adjusting yourself in the mirror. “I think I should go out first, then you wait a few minutes, then come out after me.”

“Good idea,” he confirms. 

You’re about to unlock the door when he calls out to you. 

“Wait...”

You turn around and his lips are on yours, giving you one last lingering kiss before you leave. 

You smile as you slip out the door. 

X X X X

The cabin looks just as you left it, and anyone who was awake was turned away from you.

You take a deep breath and make your way down the aisle, worried someone might be able to read your mind.

You feel better as you peek through the curtains and watch Javier sneak out of the bathroom. 

You couldn’t stop the giggle that left your throat and you sighed as you stepped away from the curtain.

X X X X

Soon after, the pilot’s voice comes over the speaker to announce your descent. The overhead light comes back on as people wake up slowly and you and your fellow attendants walk down the aisles, instructing people to put on their seatbelts or push their tray tables up.

You avoid going to the back because you don’t know what to say. Now that it was over – would you talk again? Would you even see each other again? Not likely.

Would he just pass you on the way out without even saying goodbye?

No, that didn’t seem like something he would do.

Maybe it was only meant to be a one-time thing, but you don’t want it to be. As you and the other attendants buckle into your jump seats for landing, you chew on your lip and dread the next 20 minutes.

The plane lands and taxis to the assigned gate. The seatbelt sign clicks off with a chime, and eager passengers fill the aisle and grab their luggage, slowly beginning to make their way off the plane. 

Like with boarding, you are distracted, spending most of your time trying to look over people’s heads to find Javier’s, but you can’t see anything.

Finally, after what felt like forever, the line began to thin and the last few people stepped off the plane.

Javier was last.

The other attendants make their way to the back of the plane to begin picking up a few things, but you stay behind, awkwardly looking around as Javier comes up to you. 

“Uh…” he begins.

“Um...”

You both grin at each other, not sure what to say.

“I want to say goodbye,” Javier says. 

“Goodbye,” you say quietly, realizing how sad you feel.

To your surprise, he leans over, gives you a kiss on the cheek, and slides something into your palm.

He steps off the plane, and you watch him turn down the jet bridge and disappear. 

You look down at your hand and see a wrinkled, folded napkin.

You smile as you remember he saved one. 

You open the napkin and see a phone number written in blocky letters. 

Under the number was a message. 

See you at the club next time, Cariño. 

END

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[pocketjoong]

ATEEZ REACTIONS TO YOUR FRIEND ABANDONING YOU AFTER THEY FIND AN S/O | ot8 x reader

GENRE | reaction, headcanons, angst, fluff

WARNINGS | Kinda sad. Mentions of bad friends. Mentions of friends abandoning you and acting like you don’t exist anymore. Self-indulgent. Lmk if I missed something.

NOTES | Just a little something bc I’m kinda sad and angry lol. These are based on a situation I found myself in recently, and this is how I’m coping ig lol.

Hongjoong

☆ Hongjoong is furious, but he reigns in his anger and instead, focuses on being there for you. That doesn’t mean that he will not express his frustration at your so-called “friend, though. He will definitely tell you what your friend did is wrong and that you deserve to be treated better.

☆ Hongjoong says things you want to hear in such a situation and validates your feelings of hurt, anger, and confusion. But, he also says things that you need to hear, telling you things like, “Don’t let other people’s actions define your self-worth. You are an amazing person, and you should not let someone like that make you feel like you were a bad friend.”

☆ If you want to, he will help you write a diss track so that you can channel your frustration and anger into something that will allow you not to feel sorry for yourself.

☆ By the end of this little collaboration, as you watch Hongjoong's proud smile from where he's seated in front of the studio equipment on the other side of the window, you will definitely feel a teensy bit better.

☆ If he has a personal SNS account (and if your “friend” follows him in said account), he'll post a bunch of pictures of you both enjoying convenience store snacks and of you laughing with a passive-aggressive caption. Something like, “Some friendships are like a bag of chips in the aisle of a convenience store—they're there one moment and gone the next. But our friendship is a timeless classic, always on the shelf, waiting to be enjoyed, and never going out of style.”

Seonghwa

☆ Seonghwa is going to be angry, too, but he prioritises your well-being and emotions above all else. 

☆ So, as much as he wants to have a word with your “friend”, he lets it go in favour of hugging you as you cry out the feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal that have been building inside of you. Seonghwa rocks you back and forth in his arms, gently patting your back and handing you tissues when needed. He even makes sure to have a bottle of water nearby and prompts you to drink some from time to time so you don't get dehydrated.

☆ When you’re done crying, he wraps you in his softest blankets with a mischievous grin and brings out snacks before turning on the TV and watching sappy movies with you.

☆ If you’re not in the mood to watch movies, expect him to bring out a new Lego set for both of you to build together, seizing the opportunity to create a relaxing atmosphere so you’re distracted from your pain.

☆ While the two of you work on building the set, he makes funny sounds with a character he has finished and acts all goofy, especially when you become too silent or daze off. Sometimes, he smiles at you sweetly, gently encouraging you and reminding you that he is there for you, no matter what.

Yunho

☆ When Yunho learns that your friend has basically abandoned you, his protective instincts kick in. He is positively murderous, and he is very vocal about how he feels about your friend acting like a jerk.

☆ “How dare that idiot act like this?!” His words might be coloured with anger, but he really wants you to know that he stands firmly by your side and that he won't tolerate anyone mistreating you.

☆ He will drive you around the city because he knows how much a change of scenery can help and also because you love driving with no particular destination in mind. Yunho plays soothing music at first, slowly changing the mood of the songs until both of you are basically screaming the lyrics to Guerrilla as you drive past the city streets.

☆ If by any chance you happen to cross paths with your friend while you are out with Yunho, he does everything in his power to gently guide you away (ideally, you don't even notice said “friend” as Yunho jokes around, gently guiding you to his car while blocking your view of them).

☆ If he’s alone, though, he definitely confronts your friend. He uses his intimidating presence to subtly tell them that he doesn’t approve of what they did, “If I ever see you near y/n, I'll make sure you never have your kneecaps.” His words hang heavy in the air as he walks away, a stark reminder that he is willing to go to great lengths to protect you from any harm.

Yeosang

☆ Yeosang will be there for you, but silently. He gives you time and space to process your feelings, but he is there as a quiet yet reassuring presence because he won't leave you on your own when you need someone to be there. But he also waits for you to go to him and talk when you are ready.

☆ Though Yeosang doesn't push you to share your feelings, his presence gives you the comfort you need. Him just bring there serves as a reminder that you don’t need to face this painful situation on your own.

☆ His care for you manifests in subtle ways: snack delivery, random funny text messages, or him telling you something ridiculous the other members did. But the most noticeable thing is that he is around a lot more.

☆ He makes sure that you know he’s available for hanging out or just talking. He will mention it in passing that he’s free lately and use his busy schedule in the past few months as an excuse to see you. He arrives at your door, smiling widely, “I was free, and I haven't seen you in a while because of the tour. So, I wanna hang out. Let's get fried chicken?” (And how can you say no when he asks so nicely?)

San

☆ San is also very livid at how your friend treated you and is one of the members to let you know his take on the matter. His first reaction is to confront your friend directly. You will have to stop him from calling the friend or marching up to their house to give them a piece of his mind. You can feel his simmering anger as you tell him to let it be, but he agrees with your wishes (reluctantly).

☆ When it comes to comforting you, he provides you all the emotional support you need, letting you cry in his arms. But he also says cheesy things like, “Why are you crying over someone who doesn't know the difference between a gem and a lump of coal?” His attempt at being funny elicits a weak smile from you, causing him to smile as well.

☆ San is also someone to take you out on a surprise outing to stargaze, especially if he knows that a meteor shower is supposed to take place. As you both are laid out on the blanket, watching the stars, he softly reminds you of your worth. “You know, you shouldn’t waste tears on meteors that pass through your life when you have a bunch of stars in your galaxy.”

Mingi

☆ Mingi is sad when he learns about how your friend had treated you, and he is genuinely concerned despite his awkward attempts to comfort you.

☆ He pats your head or your shoulder as you cry, but at the same time, says something deep like, “I know you have a kind heart and that this situation has hurt you, but some people don’t deserve the love you carry within you.”

☆ Instead of assuming, he directly asks you what you need and how he can help, and he does it with no questions asked. Even if that means he has to pay unreasonable shipping to get you your favourite chocolates as soon as possible.

☆ He also orders takeout so that he knows that you’re eating properly and then puts on an old comedy show he knows you have watched countless times. By the time the sun sets, the weight on your shoulders lifts and you find yourself quoting the show line-for-line with Mingi while laughing into the night.

Wooyoung

☆ Wooyoung goes attack-mode but also protect-mode because he’s not one to let anyone mistreat someone he cares about.

☆ In attack mode, he calls your friend and tells them exactly what he thinks of them. He won't hold back, and says something like, “Don't mess with me. Because I can and will make your life hell, and I'm not scared of people like you who think it’s okay to treat people badly, especially if they have treated you with nothing but kindness.” His words, though playfully exaggerated, are stern enough to deliver the warning to your friend.

☆ Then, because he knows how much you are hurting, he does everything to comfort you. He cooks your favourite meal, knowing the recipe like the back of his hand. While cooking, he cracks jokes, hoping to get you to smile.

☆ With the meal prepared and the table set, Wooyoung opens a bottle of soju, and lets you get tipsy enough to relax. He listens as you say not-so-nice things about your friend, allowing you to vent without judgment. And if you are feeling up to it, he might put on some music and dance goofily, smiling when you laugh and encouraging you to join him.

Jongho

☆ Jongho, like Yeosang, is a silent supporter. He gives you the space you need to process your emotions but also lets you know that he is there. “I’m here whenever you want to talk or if you need anything.”

☆ He will be the pillar when you need him to be. Jongho lets you curl up next to him even though he’s not very fond of skinship and eventually starts humming under his breath, and when he notices you relaxing, sings gentle melodies to lull you to sleep. He smiles to himself when he feels the way you relax against him, forgetting the hurt, even if for a little while.

☆ To alleviate some of the pain and anger that you are feeling, he makes witty jokes and humorous comments to lighten the mood. In a moment of lightheartedness, Jongho might playfully break an apple in two pieces and hold it up for you to see, saying, “Hey, isn't this,” and show you the two pieces of the apple, “that idiot who let go of one of the most amazing friends he could ever get?”