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kloxbian · 5 years

Text

Promises Painted on my Skin

Synopsis:

Lexa felt her heart go out to her. Clarke’s face was a scattering of dark bruises, blood leaking from a split lip. Her cheeks were swollen red and her eyes, the color of a fading sky, darted around nervously, looking anywhere except Lexa’s face.

Tears pooled in Clarke’s eyes, tears that she fought to contain but a single one dripped down her cheek. Lexa brushed it away, careful to not pressure any of her bruises. “Oh, you poor, sweet girl,” she breathed. “You deserve better than this.”

Or the canon-divergent AU where Bellamy's an abusive bastard and Clarke is the innocent victim

WARNING: This fic contains mentions of physical and emotional abuse. If this makes you uncomfortable, don’t read.

Notes: Okay, now, I would have done a better job with this if I didn’t finish five hours before it was posted. I wanted to lengthen it, and may eventually, but I already have many other things to write, so it won’t happen for at least a few more months, if at all.

A bit disappointing that Clexa Week is over. This is my first time joining, and I’ve really enjoyed it. I’ll definitely be back next year. A few of the things I’ve written are fics I never would’ve written otherwise. I’m very happy I finished it all.

Thanks to everyone who read my fics, as well as to @clexaweekofficial for hosting and sharing Clexa Week. You’re amazing.

The two riders swerved between the trees, the sunlight shining brightly through the leaves illuminating the golden hair of their target. She didn’t look up at the sound of the horses, standing in place, her body shaking. One of the men scoffed. “Dison laik gada yu’s krei fir raun hashta (This is the girl you’re so worried about)?”

“Em laik Skaikru. Heda na gaf em (She’s Skaikru. The Commander will want her).”

She didn’t fight back as a rope was tied around her wrist. The rider scoffed, looping the other end around the horn of his saddle. “Kwelen (Weak).”

“Emo Skaikru laik (All Skaikru are).”

They turned to ride back to TonDC, a sky-fallen girl with shining golden hair behind them.

Lexa twirled her knife in her hands, sprawled lazily in her throne. The scouts were supposed to be reporting back any minute now and she frowned at wasting this time waiting instead of being able to go over her duties.

To her right, Anya was leaning against the sturdy canvas of the tent. “If you keep playing with your weapons, Heda, you’re going to cut your fingers off.”

The guards standing at the door of the tent shifted uncomfortably. No one spoke so casually to the commander, and when someone did, it was expected that they’d be cut down. But this was Anya. She did what she wanted.

“If I do then you’ll be the one writing everything down for me.” Anya scoffed, looking at the sprawl of papers across the planning table. Anya was not very adept in her written language, and Lexa knew that well.

A guard ducked into the tent. “Heda, the scouts have arrived. They bring a Skaikru with them.”

That piqued her interest. “Send them in.”

He backed out and moments later two scouts came in, throwing to the ground a young girl. “Heda, we found her wandering the territory alone. She was miles from her camp.”

Lexa let her eyes linger on the girl, examining her. She was frail, skinnier than even a babe, bones jutting out of her bruised, worn skin. Her clothes hung off of her and her shoes were nonexistent, feet bloody and scraped from wandering the forest. Her golden hair, dirty and matted with mud, obscured her face from view. She didn’t move from where she’d been tossed.

Lexa raised an eyebrow at the scouts. “Is she alive?”

“She walked here on her own two feet. Didn’t try and fight or anything.”

Lexa nodded, turning her eyes back to the body at her feet. “What’s your name, Skaigada?”

She shifted then, rolling to sit on her legs. Her head stayed bowed and when she spoke, her voice was quiet and raspy. “Clarke.”

“What were you doing outside of your camp alone?”

She jerked, her body going stiff. “I wasn’t doing anything, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do anything wrong, please don’t hurt me, I-”

Anya stepped forward. “We’ll only hurt you if you don’t answer the question!” She barked. Clarke looked up sharply, hair lying in waves over her cheeks. She shrank back, curling in on herself. “Well?”

“I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I swear!” Her voice was small and scared, pathetically weak. “I’ll do whatever you want, just please don’t hurt me, I didn’t mean to-”

“Heda, this girl is mad,” Anya hissed, leaning in close to Lexa. “She will not tell us anything. Let me kill her and be done with it.”

“No.” Lexa didn’t believe that. Anya called this girl - Clarke - mad, and perhaps she was, but Lexa refused to believe it. She’d heard of such cases as these, dealt with the aftermath of them, but she’d never seen anything quite like this. Clarke had no defense for herself, begged, pleaded to not be hurt, that she had been doing what she was supposed to, that he had been obedient. She acted like a dog, one that knew nothing other than obedience to its owner.

“Onya, Gona, gyon ou.” The guards bowed and followed her command, exiting the tent without a word. Anya sent her a questioning look, one that Lexa returned with a fierce glare. Obey. Anya bowed her head and left.

Lexa stood from her throne, stepping off the small dais. Clarke ducked her head, repeating the mantra over and over again.

“Quiet.” Her voice was loud and commanding, stopping the young girl in her tracks. She bowed even lower, her face almost against the floor. She immediately felt guilty. Lexa crouched down in front of her. “Are you alright?” Clarke nodded, staying hunched down low. “Can you look at me?”

She did as was asked and Lexa felt her heart go out to her. Clarke’s face was a scattering of dark bruises, blood leaking from a split lip. Her cheeks were swollen red and her eyes, the color of a fading sky, darted around nervously, looking anywhere except Lexa’s face.

Lexa slowly undid her pauldron and jacket, realizing how her intimidating attire wasn’t helping the situation and wished she wasn’t decked out in warpaint and armor. “What happened to you, keron? Why are you colored so?”

Clarke began to visibly shake. “I was bad. I deserved any punishment he saw fit.”

“What did you do?”

Clarke once again lowered her head. “I ate too much food. He said that it could have fed someone more in need of it instead of a- instead of me.”

“Why did you take more food?”

Clarke’s shaking got more violent and she bit her lip. “I was hungry. He only gave me a piece of what everyone else was having and when Octavia and Raven offered me more I thought- I thought it would be okay.”

Lexa’s heart broke. She reached forward, hesitating before gently resting her hand on Clarke’s cheek, coaxing her head back up. Her entire body trembled, torn between accepting the touch or rejecting it. Clarke stood still, though, taking whatever was given.

Clarke looked nervously at her face, opening her mouth as if to speak but thinking better of it. Lexa dropped a hand from her face, delicately taking Clarke’s own. “You can speak freely.”

She bit her lip nervously. “What’s going to happen to me? Are you going to send me back?”

“I will if you want to,” Lexa said, not even thinking about what her generals would say about it. “But I’d like for you to stay here. You shouldn’t have to go back to anyone who treats you like this.”

“NO!” Clarke squeezed her eyes shut, fingers hesitantly linking with hers. “No. Please don’t send me back. I don’t want to go back.”

“Then you won’t,” Lexa said, ducking down to look Clarke in the eye. “You’ll be safe here. I promise that whoever did this to you will never touch you again.”

Clarke took a shaky breath in and nodded. “Thank you.”

Lexa smiled, watching Clarke smile back, though it didn’t reach her eyes. It was nothing more than polite. Lexa vowed to kill whoever would dare do such a thing to this sweet girl.

“I thought…I thought I was supposed to meet the commander,” Clarke croaked. “That’s what those men said.”

“The scouts, yes.” Lexa stood, offering a hand down to Clarke. She took it, still quivering slightly. “And you have.”

“I have…” Clarke looked at the throne behind Lexa and her eyes widened. She stumbled back, falling back down to her knees. “I’m sorry, commander, I-”

“No no no, be quiet, sweet girl,” Lexa rushed over to her. “Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you, and I’ll make sure no one else does either.”

Clarke’s eyes held some of the same feral instinct they had earlier. “But- why?”

“Because you don’t deserve what’s been given to you.” Lexa helped her to her feet, tracing the bruises on her face ever so lightly. “No one deserves this. To be owned. I want you to have a chance to be yourself, keron.”

“I-” Clarke began to cry, pulling away to wipe furiously at her tears. “Thank you. I promise I’ll be good.”

“Don’t think like that.” Lexa took her hands once more, rubbing them soothingly. “You don’t have to please anyone here. Yes, there are rules you will have to follow, people you will have to obey, but you will not be punished for being hungry nor anything so meager.”

Clarke nodded, her stomach growling at the mere mention of food. Lexa gently released her hands. “Come, sweet girl. I will get you food enough that you won’t want to eat for days.”

Lexa knocked lightly on the poles that held up the tent she’d set Clarke up in. She heard a quiet acknowledgment from inside and ducked beneath the tarp.

Clarke was sitting on a small wooden table that had been set up in the corner, staring at the fur-covered cot. There were heavy bags under her eyes that had only gotten worse since yesterday.

“Good morning, Clarke,” Lexa greeted, standing a few feet away. “Did you sleep well?”

“Fine.” Clarke’s voice was dry and cracked. Lexa frowned, stepping closer. Clarke held up a shaky hand. “I’m fine. Really. I’m just… not used to it.”

Lexa cocked her head. “Not used to what?”

“This.” Clarke waved her hand at the bed. “Having comfort, and having it all to myself. At the dropship, and even before that, I never had anything this good. Not anything that was mine.”

“If you would rather a different arrangement I would be happy to find something more suitable for you.”

“No, this is fine. It’s just different. I’ll get used to it.” Clarke looked over at Lexa for the first time since she’d stepped into the tent. “Thank you, commander. This is the most anyone’s ever done for me.”

“Of course, sweet girl.” Clarke blushed slightly at the name, eyes flickering from Lexa’s face to the ground. “And please, call me Lexa. Just when we’re alone.”

Clarke’s blush deepened and she nodded. Lexa smiled. “Come sit on the bed with me. It’s time we talked about what you will be doing.”

Lexa gave her a quick overview of the Trikru and TonDC, laying out the do’s and don’t, what was considered offensive and appropriate. The rules were laid out, also quite simple, and Clarke sat in silence, listening intently. She was determined to fit into this new environment, where she was being given a chance to start over without a neglecting parent and overbearing ‘friend,’ though being with Lexa she was beginning to realize that he was not someone she should consider under that term.

“The question I pose to you is what do you want to do?” Lexa asked. “If you want to become one of us, you will need to earn your keep. There are many ways to.”

Clarke shrugged. “I was the healer back at the dropship, and my - my mother is a doctor.”

“You are a fisa.” Lexa nodded. “We could get you set up with Nyko if you wish to continue pursuing that here.”

Clarke bit her lip, chewing on it thoughtfully. “I want to, but would that be all I would do? I don’t want to be cooped up in a hospital all day, even if it is to help people.”

Lexa rolled the word hospital over in her head a few times before she realized it meant their infirmary. “I suppose we could try and find someone willing to train you half-time. Though I warn you, it may eventually reach a point where you will be forced to choose between one or the other.”

Clarke exhaled slowly. “What are the options?”

“There are many. The most abundant are the gona, our warriors, defenders, guardsmen. I hope we will not have so many in the future now that all the clans are at peace but there are still many threats.”

“Like my people?”

“Sha, like the Skaikru. And the Maunon.” Lexa folded her hands together on her lap. “A few of the other jobs you could take around TonDC include a merchant, cook, seamstress, stonemason, and a wide array of different crafts. We’d have to teach you our language before you could find a mentor, as only the gona can speak gonasleng, but whatever you like we could find a job for.”

Clarke tapped her fingers nervously on her thigh. “Your warriors, what exactly do they do?”

Lexa cocked her head, pleasantly surprised to find the girl looking into a gona. “They do many things, some depending on how good of a fighter they are. We have guardsmen who take shifts standing at the gates, regulating trade and keeping watch for any potential threats. There are the personal guards like mine, who are assigned to a figure of power and it is their duty to keep that person defended. Some that are more adept with long-range weapons will help to hunt. If you were to take on the role of a gona, if there ever was a large conflict you would be called upon to fight.”

Clarke’s face was scrunched up in thought. “This… might be a bit much to ask, but could I be taught to fight without officially becoming a warrior?”

“That is not at all much to ask. There are many gona who only fight when called upon, and have duties as craftsmen or merchants when not required. It would be a good match if you don’t want to commit to a full-time job as a healer, and would do well to fill up your time.”

Clarke nodded. “Then that’s what I want to do.”

Lexa smiled. She was proud of Clarke despite only knowing her for, well, less than a day. She still had a strong spirit within her, one that, with the proper care, could rise to the surface and ignite. Lexa felt that learning how to stand up for herself physically was the perfect start for her. “Good. I have someone in mind who I think you would like.” Clarke smiled shyly at her and Lexa couldn’t help but grin back. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have another question to ask you.”

“What is it?”

Lexa squeezed her hands almost painfully tight. “I am only here in TonDC to deal with the Skaikru. Once a decision has been made about how to deal with them, I will be returning to the capital to rule. You don’t have to decide now, but I would ask if you’d like to accompany me to Polis and make a home there. It’s much larger, and has many more opportunities.”

“Where is it?”

Lexa dared to hope. “It’s about a four-day ride to the east. We would be going further from the ‘dropship,’ I believe you call it. If Skaikru were to cause trouble, you would be less likely to have to deal with it in Polis than here.”

Clarke nodded. “Then yes. I want to go.”

Lexa frowned. “Are you sure you don’t want more time to consider? You can decide closer to my departure.”

“I’m sure. I want to be as far away as possible.”

“Okay.” Lexa smiled shyly. “We’ll depart once Indra and I have agreed on how to handle the skai people. For now,” she stood from the bed, offering a hand down to Clarke. “Would you like to break your fast with me?”

Clarke nodded, hesitantly taking Lexa’s hand. She squeezed it tight as she led her out of the tent, releasing once back out in public.

Clarke scampered after her nervously, looking around warily. “There are so many people.”

“There are many people in the tribes, and Trikru is the most populous.” She took in Clarke’s anxious expression. “I promise that everyone here is loyal to me. You will not be harmed.” Clarke nodded.

Lexa took them into the pavilion, ignoring the elevated table meant for her and the other generals, sitting herself and Clarke down in a secluded corner after snagging two plates of food. “If you wish, I can have you start on your training after we eat.”

Clarke perked up at that. “Which one?”

“Whichever you like. It is early, so the infirmary would be slow and Nyko would have time to teach you our ways of healing. If you’d rather start the physical training, I can have your planned mentor brought in.”

“Planned mentor?”

“Yes. There is a certain person I have in mind who is adept at combat but is one of the kindest, most gentle souls I know. He looks a bit intimidating, but I think you will like him.” Lexa’s mind wandered. She hadn’t seen Indra’s son (she was still unsure of whether it was biological or adoptive) since her last checkup almost a year ago. It would be nice to catch up.

Clarke shifted, looking uncomfortable with answering. “Can I do the physical training first?”

“If that is what you want.” Lexa hated how uncomfortable Clarke seemed with making the decision herself. She wondered how long it had been since she’d been able to do so.

She would fix this broken girl. Even at the sacrifice of her heart.

Lexa was in the middle of explaining all the different weapons to Clarke when she felt her draw in closer, her breath accelerating.

She turned to see Lincoln entering the arena, still in his scout outfit. He dipped his head politely to her. “Heda.”

“Hello, Lincoln. Lovely to see you again.”

He smiled. “The pleasure’s all mine, sister.”

She felt Clarke press herself as close to Lexa’s side as she could without actually touching her, talking so quietly Lexa had to strain to hear. “He’s your brother?”

She smiled at that. “Brother in all but blood. Lincoln and I grew up together.” She looked back at her friend. “Lincoln, this is Clarke. She comes from the Skaikru, but I have agreed to accept her under my command.”

Lincoln frowned, switching to Trig. “Choumoda, Heda? Yeson yu don gaf emo in ste daun (Why, Commander? Yesterday you wanted them dead).”

She clucked her tongue, considering telling Lincoln of Clarke’s situation. She knew he could be trusted with it, but would Clarke want him to have it? Likely not. “Em laik noseim. En’s nou get yu daun (She is different. It’s not your concern).”

She changed back to English for Clarke’s sake. “Lincoln, I’d like to ask if you could help train Clarke in the ways of our warriors. She is inexperienced from her time with the Skaikru and wishes to learn.”

“I’d be happy to teach her.” He looked at Clarke, smiling politely. “Hello, Clarke.”

Clarke eyed him warily, muttering a quiet ‘hello.’

Lexa turned to her. “Clarke, this is Lincoln. He may be large, but he is very gentle and wouldn’t ever hurt you. If it’s okay with you, I’d like for him to be the one to train you. He is one of the few I trust.”

Clarke stared at him for a minute, wide-eyed and afraid, before mumbling a quiet “okay.”

Lexa smiled. “Wonderful. If you would like to begin now, I can stay for a bit longer to watch.”

Clarke nodded. “Yes, please.”

“Alright then. I’ll stay a bit longer.” She turned to her friend. “Lincoln?”

“I will train her whenever you require of me.” He dipped his head respectfully to her.

“I know you will.” Lexa gave Clarke one last smile before departing from the arena, leaning against the side railings to observe.

It was a process, but they’d push through it.

Their swords clashed with a fly of sparks.

Clarke slipped under her opponent’s sword, darting to the left and letting them stumble forward with their momentum. It only took them a second to rebalance, spinning to block Clarke’s swipe from behind.

Clarke danced back, just barely avoiding a leg aiming to knock her down. She dodged every slash and stab, keeping on the defense, never making a move. She knew that her opponent was getting frustrated.

She rolled beneath a swing at her shoulder, contorting herself to kick them in the back of the knee. It gave out and sent them to the ground.

Clarke was on her feet in an instant, driving her sword down. They twisted out of the way, lunging up and grabbing Clarke by the wrist. They began to twist and Clarke cursed aloud as she dropped her sword, lashing out with her foot and hitting them in the stomach. They lurched forward slightly before they were rising back to their feet, and Clarke looked at her sword wistfully, knowing she had no time to retrieve it. She’d have to do without.

Her opponent’s blade was coming back toward her. She smacked it away by the flat, moving closer and throwing a fist. They caught it in their free hand, a foot wrapping around her ankles and sending her flat on her back. The cold metal fell against her neck before she could move. “Set yu daun.”

Clarke put her hands above her head. “Ai giv op.”

The blade left her throat and she heard the sharp shriek of a sword being sheathed. A hand came into her vision, one which she gladly accepted. “You did well, Clarke. That’s the longest time yet.”

She preened in her mentor’s praise. “Mochof, Onya.”

“Indeed. I have no doubt you could hold your own against any esteemed warrior.” Clarke smiled widely as Lexa wandered into the arena, greeting Anya with a firm clasp and returning Clarke’s beaming smile.

Clarke smirked. “Even you?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t go quite that far.”

Clarke scoffed in mock annoyance, appreciating Lexa’s quiet laugh. At the far end of the arena, there was nobody near enough to witness their commander drop her mask in front of her mentor and companion. “Oh, don’t you get egotistical too. Anya’s already too much to handle.”

Anya grinned, pointing the end of her knife (who knows where it came from) at her. “You’re spichen right, and you’d do best to remember it.”

“Just don’t train her too well,” Lexa teased. “You might make her better than you.”

“Oh, please, I’ve learned from that mistake. You’re bad enough.” They laughed, falling into step walking side by side back toward the tower, Clarke proudly flanking her Heda’s side.

She, Lexa, and Lincoln had left TonDC to travel to Polis only a week and a half after Clarke’s arrival. The Skaikru, it was decided, were to be given clear boundaries not to cross. Guards patrolled along the river, keeping them away from the mountain and the capitol. Due to their proximity to the Mountain, there were no villages in the opposite direction and the Skaikru were forced to expand in that direction, leaving the Trikru safe for now. If they were to retaliate, the offenders would be taken prisoner and punished accordingly.

Clarke had fallen in love with Polis and its culture. Lexa, despite her many duties, took the time to teach Clarke as much as she could about the tribes, the customs and folklore, as well as their language. Trigedasleng wasn’t a hard tongue to learn, but it was harsh and took her mouth time to adjust before she could produce some of the rougher sounds.

She’d come to see Lexa as her dearest friend. Even if she was the commander, a legendary force spoken of as more goddess than human, she’d shown Clarke her other side, the side of her that had survived the burdens of leadership. Her youthful, innocent side was what a twenty-year-old should be like. She took responsibility for Clarke, not in the way Bellamy had, but in the way of a caretaker. She’d thought she loved before, but Lexa was so much more.

When Lincoln had exhausted his skills, she’d been tossed around by multiple people until Lexa convinced her to give Anya a chance. Anya was tough, but she knew what was too much, and she had also been given a very watered-down version of the blonde’s story. With knowledge of Clarke’s past, she took certain measures to make her disciple was comfortable.

She had also settled in well as a healer’s apprentice. Her foreign medical skills had proved beneficial to expanding their capabilities, though it wasn’t always easy to replicate considering they were much more underdeveloped technology-wise. She’d met many people through that apprenticeship and was very recognizable as the quiet healer; especially with how vibrant her hair was.

The most vocal opposer to her position was, of course, Titus. But nobody really cared what he had to say.

Anya split off from them in the tower, heading off to meet with the official Trikru ambassador (Both Lexa and Indra had wanted Anya to have the position, but it would be viewed as biased by the other clans) while Lexa led Clarke to her personal quarters. She called for a meal to be brought to them and they both sat down on the couch.

“Clarke,” Lexa said, her voice serious. “A letter arrived from Indra earlier today. It’s about the Skaikru.”

Clarke stiffened. Lexa reached over to tangle their hands. “She wrote that they approached the border, asking for an audience. It was granted, and Indra met with them personally. She said they’re asking for our help to survive, but don’t have anything to offer in return. She would take them in as one of her people, but they refuse, asking to stay separate from us.” Lexa tightened her grip on Clarke’s hand. “I’m telling you this not only because they are your origin, but because Indra’s asked permission to forward them to me. And I accepted.”

Clarke was silent. Lexa squeezed her hand, worried about how she was dealing but not willing to push her. After a moment, she spoke. “Who?”

“There is an Oktevia, Reivon, Montee, Jeisper, and Belomi.” Lexa heard Clarke’s breath falter, watched her eyes widen, and pleaded to the spirits it didn’t mean what she thought it did. But it did. She knew it did. So she let go of Clarke’s hand, wrapping her arm around her shoulder and tucking her into her side.

Lexa sat there rubbing her arm for a few minutes, pressing soft kisses to her hair, before muttering, “Clarke?”

She said nothing. Lexa tried again. “Sweet girl, are you alright?”

Despite her anxiety, she felt her stomach warm at the pet name. She shook mutely against Lexa’s chest. Lexa rested a hand on her cheek, kissing her temple long and slow before resting her cheek on her head. Letting Clarke work out what she needed.

It took time, but eventually, Clarke tried to talk, only to dissolve into choked coughing. Lexa didn’t falter. “Which one?”

She had to take a couple of deep breaths to reign herself in. “The last one.”

“And the others?”

Reivon - Raven, probably - she didn’t know, but the others… “Octavia and Monty were always nice to me. They tried to help when they could, but he had the support of most of the camp. They’d back him up if anyone ever challenged him.” Her mind drifted back to her two friends, smiling slightly. If there was anything she missed from her old life, it was them. “Jasper was nice, but he was too afraid to do anything about it. He would just stand there and watch.”

Lexa scowled. “He is a coward. Just as most of them are.”

Clarke nodded, remembering back to when Jasper had been speared in the chest, the panic that ensued. “On the Ark, they’re still children.”

“Branwodas,” Lexa scoffed. “Even a yongon knows right from wrong.”

Clarke shrugged. “Some of them do.”

The affection in her voice made Lexa pause. “You mean Oktevia and Montee?”

“A couple others, too, but yes.”

“Would you like me to arrange for them to meet you? I know you could seek them out yourself, but if you’d rather not risk the others…”

Clarke smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

“Then I will make it happen.” She leaned down, nuzzling her cheek. “I will be there if you need anything, and there is no one in Polis who would let anything happen to you. You will be safe.”

Clarke nodded, turning to bury her face in Lexa’s arm. She smiled softly, stroking her hair. “Thank you,” she mumbled into her skin.

“Anything for you, sweet girl.”

The day the Skaikru arrived, Clarke didn’t leave her room.

Lexa visited her the following morning. Clarke was curled up in the armchair, her sketchpad resting on her legs. She wasn’t drawing, only staring at a blank white page.

Lexa leaned down behind her, kissing her cheek. “You cannot stay here all day.”

Clarke’s voice was quiet, broken. “What if he tries to take me back?”

“He could never.” Lexa wrapped an arm around her chest. “You are so much stronger than you were. Should he try, you could shame him enough that he’d never want to see you again. You are strong.”

She could see that Clarke was still hesitant. “If it makes you feel better, I can ask Anya or Ryder to accompany you around the city.”

She bit her lip. “Please?”

“Of course.” She stood up. “Come to breakfast with me. The Skaikru won’t be there.”

Clarke nodded, tilting her head back. Lexa leaned down to kiss her on the lips, leaving it at a quick press. She heard her groan as Lexa moved over to the door, laughing. “Come enjoy breakfast and I’ll give you more.”

Clarke set her items down on the chair, not bothering to put them away properly. Lexa grinned widely at her, sharing one last short kiss before she slipped into commander mode, all emotion falling from her face. With her kohl on (all for the intent to scare the Skaikru) she was a terrifying figure, but Clarke could see through it all. Beneath all the armor and strength was her loving niron who’d taken her in without anything in it for herself, saving Clarke from a life of servitude.

But no one could know that.

Clarke had been training with Anya for the past hour, all of her worries forgotten. She was taking a quick break now, gladly accepting a pouch of water from one of the guards. She downed half of it, pouring some on her hands and rubbing her face. When she opened her eyes, she saw three familiar figures standing at the railing.

A grin threatened to split her face. Octavia, Monty, Jasper, and another girl leaned against the fence watching her. With Clarke’s attention, Octavia waved. “Hey!”

She strode over to them, forgetting to bring her sword. She and Octavia shared a hug, Monty more hesitant to show her any affection after knowing what Bellamy had done. When she opened her arms to him, he sighed in relief, happily accepting it.

“What are you doing here?” He asked. “Did they capture you?”

Shit. She’d forgotten about how much the grounders were hated within the Skaikru. “No, not at all. I ran from camp, and they brought me to their town. The commander was there, and she made sure I was comfortable.”

“The commander?” The unknown brunette said, hands twitching idly. “The scary lady can be nice?”

Clarke was tempted to tell her about their relationship but knew better. Even if it would get a hilarious reaction out of them. “I don’t know how, but she was able to tell that I came from a… less than ideal situation. She took me in, offered to bring me to Polis, and I’ve made a life here. It’s amazing. They aren’t anything like we thought they were.”

“Really?” Jasper said. “Did they apologize for spearing me in the chest?”

“They didn’t know who we were,” Clarke said. “We were unknown intruders in their land. You can’t blame them for that.”

“Then who should I blame? Myself?”

“Clarke!”

She glanced over her shoulder to see Anya in the middle of the pit, waiting impassively for her. She turned back to smile at her friends. “Sorry. I’ll talk to you more later, I promise.”

She ignored their questions and darted back over to grab her sword, standing across from Anya. Her fos unsheathed her sword, nodding over to the fence. “You ready to show off to your friends?”

She smirked. “Hell yes.”

Anya began to advance. Clarke positioned her sword defensively in front of her, body tensed, ready to move however she needed. The first attack came right at her neck, a reckless and normally outright stupid move, but this was Anya. Her other hand knocked Clarke’s sword away, leg coming up to kick her in the stomach. She grunted, stumbling back. She charged once she’d regained her senses, meeting Anya in the middle.

The loud clang of their swords reverberated throughout the pits, telling of the immense force put in by both sides. Clarke dodged a swipe at her legs, aiming a stab at Anya’s shoulder while using her free arm to grab at her opponent’s wrist. She twisted out of the way, recovering too quickly for Clarke to take advantage of her pause.

They fought for some time, Clarke gaining small cuts on her arms, her torso, her legs, even a tiny nick just below her ear. Aware of their audience, Anya went for the most impressive disarming maneuver she knew. Hooking an arm around Clarke’s hip, she used the momentum to swing her over her shoulder and slam her into the ground. Anya’s sword fell against her throat.

“Yu win au. Bilaik otaim (You win. Like always).”

Anya smirked, helping Clarke to her feet. “That is why I am teaching you. Because you aren’t as good as me.”

“Uh-huh. Show off.”

“Oh, I couldn’t help it.” Anya looked over at the fence. “You should have seen their faces.”

Clarke looked over and grinned at the awestruck expressions they wore. With Anya’s permission, she went over to them.

Octavia reached for her, pausing last second before dropping her hands to her sides. “Oh my god! That was amazing!”

Clarke blushed. “Thanks.”

“Thanks? That’s all you have to say? You just blew my fucking mind! Do you think you could teach me to do that?”

“Woah, O, slow down,” the brunette said. “Let her breathe.” She held a hand out to her. “Hey. I’m Raven. I’ve heard a lot about you from these bitches.”

“She says like she isn’t the bitchiest of us all,” Jasper said. They all laughed.

“They’re right, Clarke.” She felt a bolt of electricity go through her, stiffening all her muscles and freezing her in place. “That was impressive.”

She ground her teeth together, trying to reel in her disorganized mind. The four at the fence had quieted, heads watching him, but Clarke refused to look at him. She was afraid of what she would do.

“Look at me, Clarke.” Her first instinct was to obey. She fought against it as much as she could, struggling against her fear. “I said look at me.”

“She doesn’t answer to you, Skai boy.” She breathed a sigh of relief. Anya hovered beside her shoulder, resting a comforting hand on Clarke’s back. With her fos by her side, she risked a look.

Bellamy didn’t look any different than when she’d left him, maybe a bit more ragged. He was still the entitled, arrogant boy he’d been before, but Clarke felt her head pulse. He doesn’t own you, she thought, repeating it over and over in her head like a mantra. He doesn’t own you.

Bellamy scowled. “And who are you?”

“That’s none of your concern, and neither is my sekon.” Anya’s hand tightened on her shoulder. “We should get back to the tower, Clarke.”

“No.” She wanted to scream in frustration. Why couldn’t he just let her go? “You can’t make her go.”

“And you can’t make her stay.”

Bellamy snarled. “Just back off! Clarke, come here.”

Anya was about to retort, but Clarke raised a hand, looking Bellamy straight in the eye, blocking out her instinct. “No.”

He was taken aback. “No? You don’t tell me no, Clarke. Come here.”

Her hand went to her sword before changing her mind, instead drawing a dagger from her coat. “Make me.”

Bellamy growled, striding toward her. She knew the tactic, he’d used it on her many times before. Intimidation. Make her think he was going to do something worse than he would. She wouldn’t fall for it again. Drawing back her arm, she aimed her dagger at his throat. He paused, but continued, walking until he was only a few feet from the fence.

With a quick look at Anya, she threw the knife.

Clarke wasn’t a killer, no matter how much Bellamy deserved it. The knife struck his arm, far enough to not cause any major damage, but he went down howling. Ignoring the startled looks from everyone around, she turned and marched out of the pits. With a last scalding look, Anya followed.

Anya left the elevator a couple of floors beneath Clarke while she carried on to one of the very top floors. Pushing through the doors, she fell back against them as soon as they fell closed, clutching her chest. She’d done it. She’d resisted her captor, she’d finally escaped his hold. Before, she’d known that Bellamy still held a part of her, that she still feared his influence, but now that she’d stood up to him, she finally felt… free.

“Clarke?” She perked up, a wide grin spreading on to her face. Lexa stood in the doorway between her solar and bedchambers, looking curiously at her niron. “Did something happen?”

Her heart swelled, looking upon her lover, her savior, perhaps the most important person in her life. Her smile threatened to split her face in half. “I did it, Lex,” she breathed. “I- he tried. He tried, but I did it. I’m free.”

Lexa matched her beam, rushing toward her. They met in the middle, Lexa sweeping her up into her arms and lifting her off the ground. Clarke laughed as kisses were peppered all over her face. “I’m so proud of you, keron,” Lexa said, kissing her passionately. “You’re incredible.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she said, leaning forward to kiss her softly. “Without you, I’d still be with him.”

Lexa squeezed her tight. “I’m glad you aren’t. I’m so glad you aren’t. You don’t deserve that life. You never did.”

“And now I have a better one.” They shared bright smiles, kissing messily. Clarke leaned into her. This life was something she’d never expected to get.

Lexa’s hands pet her face, stroking her cheeks and making her groan into the kiss.

Yes; she could ask for nothing more.

#clexaweek2020 #clexaweek2020 day 7 #day 7 free day #free day #clexa fanfic #clexa deserved better #emotional abuse #physical abuse #recovery #poor clarke #lexa's a sweetheart #bellamy's a sadistic asshole

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mak23686 · 6 years

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Opinions about / views on The 100

Noone cares about what I post anyway, so that gives me the freedom to post whatever the hell I want.

If you feel the need to react to this post, feel free to do so. You can always point out flaws in my logic and give your own view.

If you just want to go “lol ur dump all heel bellmu bleik and pik petrun sehnts of ski krew and strehgt bois“, just don’t. Jacking off to Lexa’s death scene again is a more reasonable use of the calories you burn with that.

SEASON 1

Spearing Jasper was understandable. He cheered when they reached Mount Wheather. Combined with the superior technology (coming from the sky and the gun), it gave reason for the assumption that the 100 wanted to ally with the Mountain.

Was it over the top? Could the Grounders just have stepped out and confronted them? Sure, they could have. But I suppose decades of being at war with the Mountain Men gave them a “better save than sorry“ attitude in dealing with anyone possibly involved with the mountain.

(WARNING: ASSUMPTION FOLLOWING!) Also, based on the Grounder’s skill in stealth and use of weapons displayed in later episodes, they were rather lenient here. The kids didn’ bother being stealthy (since they didn’t know anyone was on the ground), so the Grounder scouts probably noticed and tracked them for a while before they reached the river to see what they were up to. They also probably could have killed the others, but they just attacked the one who crossed the river, and they didn’t use a bow or a throwing knife, they used a big ass spear for shock effect to send a clear “don’t cross this line” message.

Stringing Jasper up on the tree might have been a test of skill for the sky people. Would they be able to find their comrade? Would they be able to discover the traps? How are they dealing with the injury? The Grounders had Lincoln as a watcher near the camp. Gathering intel is important when dealing with an unknown force.

Also, no Grounder killed a sky person in the first five episodes. Up to then, it was two accidents (dropship landing), two acid fog deaths (Trina and Pascal), one mercy kill (Atom), one murder (Wells) and one suicide (Charlotte).

The first kills in the Grounder-Skaikru conflict were when the flares burnt down the grounder village (this can technically be blamed on Bellamy because he sabotaged every way to communicate with the Ark since the beginning and made the flares necessary, but whatever). Granted, it was an accident, but still, as Anya pointed out in the bridge meeting, it can be seen as an act of war.

Torturing Lincoln and the sky people firing the first shots at the bridge meeting certainly didn`t help either. And while at least a momentary truce may have been achievable, Anya had a point: Why agree to an alliance the Sky People could break as soon as they come down, especially since the kids have shown so much aggression up to now?

SEASON TWO

Absolute high time of the show. Great story with the Mountain Men as villains and Sky People and Grounders allying, hints of deeper Grounder culture (”My spirit will find the next Commander”) exploration of the value of “Good guys / Bad guys” in war. Bellamy was also at his high, courageous (the infiltration of Mount Wheather was his idea), smart (infiltration missions can’t be pulled off by a dumdum), at Clarke’s side during the irradiation ... honestly, I wouln’t have minded season two Bellamy and Clarke being together.

I don’t blame Kane for shocklashing Abby because it was a purely political move. She had broken the law (again) by freeing and arming prisoners. It wouldn’t have looked good to the general populace if one of the “elites“ had gone completely unpunished again. Maybe it was unnecessary to have them bang later, but well ... I’m neutral / slightly against when it comes to that ship.

Lexa haters sometimes say Lexa wouldn’t have needed to kill Finn. Seriously? Finn murdered 18 people, the call for his execution was literally the least morally questionable thing ever done on this show. When she first said it and they cut away all dramatically, I just thought “Yeah, reasonable request. Have him on a silver platter with a bow.”

The reaper cure proved Skaikru could be of worth to the alliance, but that still didn’t give the people of TonDC justice. Ask a lawyer if you’re allowed to kill a bunch of people if someone of your family made a medical breakthrough, I’m pretty sure the answer is no.

Finn used to be a great guy in season one, but then, he went crazy. Accepting his punishment and delivering himself to the Grounders gives him the status of “Fallen / Redeemed hero” in my book.

The battle of Mount Wheather should be considered from the Mountain Men’s point of view before screaming “Lexa evil, betrayal!”

The Mountain Men were facing annihilation. Their only hope was to break the alliance between Skaiku and the Grounders. Best way to do it? Take the motivation to fight from one party.

The Grounder Prisoners were worthless to them now that they had Skaikru bone marrow, so they could easily be traded. But do you honestly think they just went out and said “Hey Grounder queen whose people we’ve been bleeding dry for decades, here are your people, goodbye?” and Lexa just waived “Jus drein jus daun” and walked away? I don’t think so.

THEORY: They probably went out with guns held to the prisoners’ heads, making it clear that refusal of the offer would result in the death of every single one of them. How would that have sat with the Grounder warriors? It was clear from before (Arrival in TonDC / Quint) that the alliance wasn’t really popular with the Grounders, and if Lexa had sacrificed hundreds of them for the sake of 40 Skaikru prisoners? I very much doubt she would have survived that. Someone else (probably Nia / Ontari) would have seized power, and if the Grounders fighting at Mount Wheather wouldn’t have turned on Skaikru and slaughtered every single one of them along with the Mountain Men right away, the new leader certainly wouldn’t have been as open to an alliance as Lexa was. The death of the Grounder prisoners would likely have led to all-out war against Skaikru they wouldn’t have survived. Sure, the betrayal hurt, it led to another major emotional scarring for Clarke and Lexa never assumed the Mountain would fall and Skaikru would prosper, but as things are, the alternative would probably have been much worse.

The fact that it was never shown or explained from the Grounders’ POV could be seen as a sign the writers never cared about the Grounders as valid people.

SEASON THREE

First few episodes were good. Nia could have made an interesting antagonist. As badass as Lexa killing her was, she could have been more.

Pike ... don’t get me started on him. I get that he distrusts the Grounders after his experiences in Azgeda, but more than that, he invalidates the experiences the others have made that peace is possible (three months since Mount Wheather without an attack), is ignorant of the clan-based conflict-ridden nature of the coalition and simply considers all grounders the same and ignores the fact that an act can have different meanings in different cultures (comparing the Coalition Brand to branding cattle).

Pike was right there in the same room when Lexa ordered the Protection Squad to Arkadia. He could have brought up his issues with Kane and Kane would have brought it up with Lexa and then, arrangements to calm Pike’s fears could have been made (examples: more guards on Arkadia’s walls, ordering Grounder soldiers to lay down their weapons as soon as Arkadia comes into view, allowing Arkadia guards to shoot any Grounder who doesn’t). I wouldn’t be surprised if Pike planned his takeover from the second he saw Indra.

Kane also didn’t do good there. He and Abby were too confident that Kane would be the next chancellor, not considering the option that someone else could enter the election at the last minute.

If his “this land is ours now“ speech and the reaction to Monty pointing out there was a Grounder village right on the land Pike wanted to claim didn’t make you consider him a genocidal colonist ... watch them again.

Considering his part in defending Farm Station off screen during season 2, he could be called a fallen hero. During his on-screen time, he was an asshole.

You can explain Bellamy joining Pike with his grief over Gina (yay, plot device character!), but he still stayed loyal to him for an awfully long time. Gives me the impression that he simply latches on to the person with the most authority until they REALLY screw up. Bellamy is a good soldier, loyally following orders, but definitely not a leader.

I could (VERY grudgingly) accept the fact of Lexa’s death, but the timing was outright cruel and the manner was incredibly stupid. “Accidentally“ shooting her and then draw out her death scene painfully long with a nice shot of her still face and Clarke closing her eyes I mean what sadist wrote that?

Miller and Bryan do NOT even out Lexa’s death in terms of LGBT representation. Lexa was the most powerful person in the world, a badass warrior and her decisions were relevant to the plot for pretty much all her time on the show. Miller and Bryan are low-ranking soldiers with no authority of any kind and mostly just standing around next to someone.

“My spirit will find the next commander.“ in season two sounded like kind of a mythical thing. They still could have done that, with the AI making a mental evaluation who is most fit, but nope, just a bunch of kids killing each other. Make the Grounders more barbaric so people have less problems with them getting killed.

By the way, it’s very interesting that according to this post, Rhiannon Fish (Ontari) refused to wear Lexa’s cape when they originally wanted her to because she felt “it was like Lexa’s superhero cape”. Seems like the woman who played the bitch intent on killing Lexa and destroying her legacy (by murdering all the nightbloods Lexa raised) actually respects her more than the creators did.

The whole AI story was weird.

Letting Octavia and Pike hold the same room during the attack on the tower was pretty dumb. Let the girl fight alongside the guy who murdered her lover, what COULD go wrong there?

VERY satisfying to watch Octavia run Pike through in the end.

SEASON FOUR

Meh. Some interesting bits, but mostly ... meh.

Bellamy and his company blowing up the hydro generator to free the farm station survivors was a failure at third grade math.

People in Arkadia who will die in Praimfaya with the hydro generator: -400

People in Arkadia who will die in Praimfaia if we blow it up to free the slaves: +25

LET’S BLOW THAT SHIT UP!!!

Really, who in their right mind thinks that’s a good idea?

At least Bellamy admits he’s a dummy (”You have to use your head.” - “I’ve got you for that.”)

Ilian blowing up Arkadia seems a little bit like it was done to make that blunder irrelevant. Can’t have Bellamy (who broke the tie on the vote) be held accountable for a major screwup.

Also, what’s up with Kane (major advocate for the alliance up to then) telling Bellamy he just did what he thought he had to?

Loved the scene when Bellamy’s Rover got stuck in the mud and Bellamy was unable to save Peter and his father, mainly because of his “People die when YOU’RE in charge.“ line in season three. Sounded as if he would just save everyone. Well, you can’t.

Clarke is acting kinda welcoming of death the entire season. I mean, she didn’t put herself on the list (if it wasn’t for Bellamy), injected herself with experimental nightblood, tried to take the flame without knowing for sure if it will actually be compatible, volunteered to give up her suit for someone else although her nightblood is untested and actually accepted her death (“My fight is over”) before setting up the com system in the finale. I wouldn’t call her suicidal, but she doesn’t seem to mind the possibiltiy of dying if it saves others.

Can agree with Clarke, it’s admirable what Bellamy does for his sister. Family first.

Pointing guns at each other / almost killing each other is not romantic though. Neither is delivering someone to a ruler who’s likely to imprison or execute them.

Jasper killing himself after it was cut from season three because it was “too dark“ (BS) kinda seems like backpedaling.

Bellamy’s definitely gonna bang Raven or Echo (or both) during their time up in space though.

Season Five

What Clarke and Madi’s life was like on the ground during the last few years is the only interesting thing I can think of so far. How did they meet? How did they bond? How did they help each other through their emotional scarring (and I imagine Madi has a lot of that as well since she probably saw all of her friends and family die of radiation sickness).

Still thinking about how to watch that.

Possibilities I have come up with so far are:

a) Just read the episode summaries on wikipedia / The 100 wiki.

b) Get super-drunk every few episodes and binge them.

c) Watch the episodes one at a time and take a shot of 75% rum (strongest stuff I have in the house) whenever something stupid happens.

Not sure if option b or c will get me more drunk.

Feel free to add stuff / point out flaws. Just do so without getting personal.

#The 100 #Watch this get zero notes #Whatever #Just had to get it out of my head

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