#poor clarke

[robinhuntr]

Me seeing the new Superman content we’ve been getting and realizing that we’re finally healing from the “Evil Superman” era:

[frownyalfred]

Imagine having a hopeless crush on Batman and telling yourself it isn’t real and it’s just the mask you’re attracted to and the whole illusion will be ruined if he takes it off.

Clark, to himself during a JL meeting: maybe he’s ugly under the cowl and you just have a weird mask fetish

Clark .2 seconds after seeing Bruce take off the cowl one day after a battle: oh my god it’s so much worse

[reebmiester]

apparently “and yet you're bi yourself” is not an appropriate response

[cicerobussytransplant]

a point worth making when talking about the decrease of sexually explicit movies is that its happening simultaneously with an increase of intimacy coordinators and stronger awareness wrt making actors comfortable performing them. and potentially contractual power to refuse to do them without shooting your career in the foot

like yes, sure a lot of ppl watching are uncomfortable with sex scenes in many ways tumblr routinely dunks on, but also like lmao exploitation of young women who had to make rent-money and could be coerced into nudity/sex scenes they werent comfortable with was an issue in the industry for the longest time (and still is)

[sisaloofafump]

Wrong.

[p1nkshield]

Superman: Hey Batman congratulations on adopting your son! My mom insisted I bring you this… are you okay?

Batman, looking especially bedraggled, dragging a hand down his face: huh? Yes. I’m fine. I it’s just that I can’t find him.

Superman: What? do you mean you LOST HIM?

Batman: shhh, be quiet

*scuttling from above*

Batman, squinting: he’s in the rafters.

Superman: the wHAT!?

Batman: what did you bring?

Superman looking up frantically: the rafters?!?- I brought pie but why are you asking me tha-

Batman: ROBIN COME, PIE!

*scuttling stops, then rapidly moves closer*

Robin!dick: please give me some pie please

Batman: come down here first. If you try to eat upside down you’ll choke.

Robin!dick: not true I’ve been practicing!

Superman: 0_0

[violent138]

My personal headcanon for Clark Kent interviewing Bruce Wayne (when neither of them know each other's secret identity) is that Clark is the one person Bruce doesn't flirt with and leaves with a halfway coherent interview. A reluctantly impressed Perry White sends Clark repeatedly to get quotes, and work on more articles, leading to Bruce and Clark having several calls, some of which jokingly get called "off the record calls". This goes on for several months before they realize that's just called being friends, they hang out, and they have their identity reveal, it's less jarring because they know a lot about each other and Bruce informs Clark that he's sending Clark a suit made of more durable materials when Bruce realizes how rippable it is during making out.

[toytle]

superblorbos in their teen years

[fairyroses]

— Alex Lex Luthor & Jimmy Olsen in My Adventures With Superman, "More Things in Heaven and Earth" (2.01)

+ bonus:

[bet-on-me-13]

Lois Lane is actually Ellie Phantom

Idea came from a comment @ourrechte-blog made on This post

So, back when Ellie was traveling the world, she saw quite a few things that she really didn't like. War Crimes, Humans Rights Violations, Poverty, etc.

And she really wanted to draw some attention to those problems, but she knew that as some random kid those stories would never receive the press they deserved. So she decided to Become the press instead.

She went back to Danny, who was also on the run, and they both got new Identities. Danny became Sam "Daniel" Lane, and Ellie became Lois "Ellie" Lane. (Also she reverted to her true age, so the ages matched up)

Ellie, now Lois, began to go to School so she could establish her new identity. Eventually, she managed to get to College, Graduated, and got a Job at the biggest newpaper she could, the Daily Planet.

She was now living her best life. She was a credited reporter, her dad was a Military General, and she was spreading the word about all the problems in the world that often got overlooked.

Then, one day, Lois met a really nice guy named Clark Kent. He was such a sweetheart, and had such a kind personality. She was immediately smitten.

Even Danny liked him, and Danny barely liked anyone for fear of them hurting his daughter.

And it got even better when she figured out that he was Superman, a Superhero just like her dad used to be. She proved it when she jumped off of the roof of the Daily Planet and he caught her. (She was never in danger, she can fly too. But she did decide that even if he wasn't superman, she trusted him enough to tell him that she had powers)

They got married, and one day Clark came home looking disturbed about something.

Apparently he just found out that a company called Cadmus had tried to Clone him.

She was not happy when he told her that he didn't want to accept the kid.

"Clark. So help me Ancients, if you left that poor boy alone and rejected him after he did nothing wrong I am going to string you up by your toenails and let my Uncle Fright go to town on you with his Magic Sword!"

"I-I know what I did was wrong honey, but why are you so angry about it?!"

"Clark, I'm also a Clone! You know I don't have a Mom, how did you never ask my dad or me about that!?"

"I thought he was dead or something! I'm sorry!"

"We'll talk about this later, let's go talk to that poor kid."

"Yes ma'am."

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #73

Danny was on the run from the GIW and he was damaged badly on the verge of retreating into his core. He was almost at Metropolis and was hopeful that he could leave his core with one of the supers. He spots Superman on top of the Daily Planet. Somehow he’s able to explain this to Superman and he actually agrees to take care of his core.

Superman realizes he may have bitten off more than he could chew. After Danny retreated into his core Superman felt weaker, this wasn’t as bad as actual Kriptonite but it did weaken him like it. He brings Danny to the Watchtower and the JL takes turns keeping an eye on the core.

Constantine walks into the room and in his shocked stated blurts, “How the hell did you get ahold of a baby ancients core!?! How did it get hurt!? I swear to god, do you want an inter dimensional war?! Because this is how you get an inter dimensional war!”

[aimtodraw]

Babysitting as a love language (superbat)

Richard: Don't get me wrong, he loves me too (obviously) just not enough to go through today again.

Bruce: What the hell did you guys do today anyway??

[frownyalfred]

okay but consider the hilarity of Dick Grayson actually making a name for himself as a REALLY good detective over in Blüdhaven, the Gotham tabloids catching wind of it, and printing a whole story about how Dick “…clearly doesn’t get it from his father!”

his father being Bruce Wayne, known in certain circles as the world’s greatest detective. like imagine the dinner table conversation after that story drops.

[superbat-love]

Superman attempting to ask Batman out on a date until Batman hits him with a “We need to talk” moment

[rosa-gaze62]

Clark transforming his superman suit into one that doesn’t have shorts

Ma, hundreds of miles away in Kansas: something just happened

[shinynewwriting]

I am frankly never going to recover from the fact that the Superman (2023) run started with the reveal that:

Lex is constantly doing a running commentary about his day to Superman because he knows Clark instinctively listens to him. This includes trying to backseat drive all of Superman's fights.

Clark's reaction to Lex's steady stream of "CRUSH KILL MAIM DESTROY" during combat is to gently shush him, like he's a dog getting slightly too amped up about the mailman being outside.

and the two of them only got weirder about each other from there. Clex shippers have truly been given such a rich bounty in the recent years.