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One Piece Crack Ship War - Round 4 Side D


Propaganda under the cut.
CrocoRosi:
LOOK people I know everyone is all over Dofuwani and it's great, everyone wants the other brother with crocodile one of the most shipped men I've witnessed in some time but I just think that Corazon and Crocodile is simply one with potential to be ICONIC. Crocodile & Corazon while being opposites in the Sense of what they do (Pirate & Marine respectively) would possibly work together due to Crocodile being a Warlord. I'd imagine the bickering would be quite funny but one of them would need a light for a cigar/cigarette and then they'd just sit there in silence smoking until Corazon eventually lights himself on fire. I could wrack my crazy little brain so much about the potential of these two and I'd think they'd be chaotic yet strangely cute at the same time. So I'd like to shove them into a boat together and let that ship sail my lords, ladies and jesters
everyone has heard of dofuwani or dofladile. the classic villain pairing. but hear me out. crocodile and the OTHER DQ bro. stay with me folks personality-wise, think about the amount of sanity crocodile would retain. rosinante is far quieter, much more pleasant for an introvert to put up with. sure, he can goof off at times, but he can read the room. he can be serious. crocodile can be a little violent and testy, but rosinante’s dealt with it all before. he knows how to either ignore it, or diffuse it. think about the possibilities their relationship could have. crocodile was a warlord. they could have met when rosinante was still a marine, before either of them got tangled up in doflamingo’s schemes. or, maybe crocodile met corazon, doflamingo’s brother and right-hand man. maybe what started as an attempt to piss doflamingo off turned into a night he couldn't forget. what if someone actually showed crocodile some love? what if someone who was drawn to harmful people found himself snared in crocodile’s grasp, too? so many different spins on their relationship it makes me dizzy.
Potential dynamic fascinate me.
Bennhawk: cmon CMONNNNN the two pillars keeping shanks from fucking dying...... guard dog and prissy cat...... two very smart and sexy men who see each other with vast respect.... if you peruse the 7 fics they have on ao3 you will understand.... Please see the vision here.....
#one piece#op crack ship war#bennhawk#crocorosi#sir crocodile#donquixote rosinante#benn beckman#dracule mihawk#tournament poll#round 4#side d
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I remain obsessed with them
#one piece#dracule mihawk#benn beckman#bennhawk#I think that’s their ship name?#I’m still not entirely sure#leerart
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I'm Interested in the Benn x shanks x Mihawk polycule. Might I suggest to bridge the gap between Benn and Mihawk the dynamic of:
Benn: why does your boyfriend hate me, what have I done 🤔🤨
Shanks: oh no 😂 he thinks you're hot, actually
#mishanks#Bennshanks#Bennhawk#akagami no shanks#dracule mihawk#benn beckman#One piece#One piece live action#Opla#I still think it'd be funnier if bennshanks and bennhawk got going before mishanks tho
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assorted benn mihawk shanks i just had to get it out there
mishanks married cause like of course they are. they are just so... so FOND OF EACH OTHER........ they are married and tender and come back to each other always because they are married and love each other and maybe shanks loves the sea more but he has space in his immensely large heart for mihawk as well. and shanks is mihawk's best friend, his only friend, really, because mihawk has had enemies and targets and challengers and people of interest but he's never really had a friend, not like shanks. and mihawk gets lonely sometimes, yes, but all he really needs is to feel rough straw under the pads of his fingers and the smell of smoke and everything is suddenly alright, when the odd ray of sunlight wanders to kurigana he knows who's doing that is. And he recognizes himself when he meets Croc - that man is missing someone too, he can tell, always with that far-off look in his eyes and a drive that Mihawk has since taken a step back on when he realised life wasn't all duels, but he could afford a friend, maybe two, maybe even a few kids to entertain if the halls ever got too quiet. And shanks gets lonely too, he gets lonely but he takes reprieve in the salt-spray of the sea and the burning bright sun and in his first mate, his constant anchor beck, beck who is older and wiser and ruffles his hair like a little kid and it always brings him back to when they first started on this journey, and it brings beck back too - he's always felt too old for whatever this batshit insane little brat drags him into, but its shanks, its akagami, its redhair, and thats enough - maybe hes incorrigible in his brash actions and maybe he reminds beck a bit too much of an easily-excitable puppy, but gods he is strong and he is benn's captain, and benn his first mate. and his husband is easy on the eyes too, hawkeyes through and through, and though benn doesn't think he will have the honour of ever being as devoted to mihawk as shanks is, the lovebirds they are, he is still proud to have a claim, however small, on the man's heart and and and guhhhh
edit: if you enjoyed this post, check out my bennmishanks series on ao3: need to be youthfully felt (cause god, i never felt young)
#FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK#i have a fucking exam in three days. but apparently my brain wants to think about these three instead#benn beckman#akagami no shanks#dracule mihawk#bennshanks#mishanks#bennhawk#finn rambles#one piece
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This was originally part of the ship bingo post, but it spiraled out of control and became a very large pile of thoughts. So instead, the Wings of the Emperor AU is getting its own ship dynamics post for Shanks, Mihawk, and Benn because it's sorta its own thing, and I'm having a hell of a time trying to figure out how to even tag for it because none of their relationships fit in neat boxes very well.
(Wings of the Emperor AU is my early Red Hair Pirates era AU where Mihawk chooses to not become a Warlord and ends up not joining, but semi-sailing with the Red Hair Pirates. It mostly focuses on Mihawk's early dueling years with Shanks, his interactions with the Red Hair Pirates, and eventually getting swept up into their sailing shenanigans. TL;DR: I had the thought of "who would Mihawk be if forced to answer the question of 'who am I beyond just being a swordsman'" and it all spiraled from there.
For the record, some of the earlier posts aren’t 100% accurate anymore — big one being that I traded the “Mihawk was almost Shanks’ first mate” bit for something else — but this is an indulgent ship post, not me correcting my own lore post LOL.)
So, here’s a pile of thoughts to get my brain in gear to actually write more of the fic itself, haha. : )
This AU is… complicated? I'd say it's endgame Mihawk/Shanks/Benn triad in a very non-traditional relationships way. For example, by the time Mihawk semi-joins them and turns down the Warlord position, even Shanks and Mihawk don't have a concrete romantic relationship, and theirs is still the closest to that, haha. I guess it's best classified as:
Shanks and Mihawk: close relationship bordering on romantic; there's mutual interest, but their definitions of romantic also don't match "standard" definitions of romance, so it doesn't always read as that to others. Rivals/partners with a romantic flair?? Since Mihawk turning down the Warlord position and choosing to join them comes with a good chunk of other upheaval, there's a conscious decision to not really label anything, but they're on the same page of being mutually interested.
Shanks and Benn: hellooooo complex intertwined captain-first mate relationships. The fun duality of being both incredibly simple and incredibly complex. I'm team "many working captain-first mate relationships basically become life partnerships", and they're probably the prime example of that. Inconveniently for tagging purposes, it's smack dab in the middle of "&" and "/" relationships for AO3, so… eh, the vibes are vague. The details past the fact that they're basically each other's most trusted person stop mattering at a certain point.
Benn and Mihawk: Complicated, haha. By far the side of the triad with the most development to be had; right now, it's more like they're separate sides of a V polycule, rather than a triad, but the foundation's there. An odd, unexpected friendship turned an even more unexpected camaraderie as the years go by and Mihawk's around more and more. Absolutely no one outside of them (and occasionally Shanks) can really parse out what's going on here. Again, just over the line of what I'd tag as "&", and develops veeeeeery slowly over the years in its own undefined way.
…That ended up as a whole ass wall of words, haha. Shorter summary if you're looking for general relationship shifts:
Mihawk sails with the Red Hair Pirates (~6 years after the RHP start): only Shanks/Mihawk are semi/almost-romantic
Sailing time until Dawn Island: Shanks/Mihawk slowly get their shit together; Shanks/Benn inch toward maybe another realization or two, Benn/Mihawk "two introvert cats" bond starts really kicking in
Post-Dawn Island: Shanks/Benn get their shit together (thank you, realizations about mortality)
The decade-ish between Dawn Island and current canon: It's a polycule between an Emperor, an Emperor's first mate, and the World's Greatest Swordsman. Who cares if it makes sense to anyone else; it works for them, lol.
If you read this far, thank you, and I hope you enjoyed an unexpectedly long analysis drop for an AU I haven't posted for in a while and mostly exists in my brain right now, haha!
#wings of the emperor au#mishanks#bennshanks#bennhawk#bennmishanks#red haired shanks#dracule mihawk#benn beckman#one piece#akagami no shanks#is it a ship? is it not? who knows but it sure is Something
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One Piece Crack Ship War - Round 3 Side D


Propaganda under the cut.
Cricket x Wyper:
They most honor their ancestors and their "friendship".
Their ancestors couldn't be together, but they can fix those bonds!! They can resolve the tragedy!!!!! They can be the gay lovers Noland and Kalgera were always meant to be!!!
Bennhawk: cmon CMONNNNN the two pillars keeping shanks from fucking dying...... guard dog and prissy cat...... two very smart and sexy men who see each other with vast respect.... if you peruse the 7 fics they have on ao3 you will understand.... Please see the vision here.....
#one piece#op crack ship war#bennhawk#benn beckman#dracule mihawk#mont blanc cricket#wyper#tournament poll#round 3#side d
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save point
(Gen | One Piece | Benn/Mihawk; Benn/Mihawk/Shanks | 1.3k words)
Summary: Observing how things often devolved as the night went on aboard the Red Force was always a good time, one that Benn had become very acquainted with over the years. His keen eyes caught details often missed by others — such as noticing a particular swordsman appearing, coming into view as he deftly traversed the crowd of increasingly drunken pirates.
(Or: Mihawk comes back to the Red Force after a few weeks away, to the two people he can let his guard down around.)
Read here on AO3 or below!
Observing how things often devolved as the night went on aboard the Red Force was always a good time, one that Benn had become very acquainted with over the years. It certainly wasn't that he never joined in, but sometimes, there was just as much amusement to be had in watching the chaos unfold instead of being at the center of it. His keen eyes caught details often missed by others — such as noticing a particular swordsman appearing, coming into view as he deftly traversed the crowd of increasingly drunken pirates.
Mihawk had boarded the Red Force once more earlier that evening, his raft appearing on the horizon after multiple weeks of being away, just as the crew began to settle across the deck after dinner. Benn had half-expected him to simply disappear into the privacy of Shanks', or his own, cabin, regardless if either of them were there. He certainly joined — or at least, joined in as much as he ever would — in the near nightly festivities more than he would have years ago, but rarely so after long journeys.
Despite that, he was approaching Benn at his place on the edges of the gathering. While he still donned his hat and coat, Yoru wasn't attached to his back, a once rare sight that had become slowly more common over the years. With a tilt of his head, he perched himself atop the other half of the crate Benn was sitting upon.
It was odd seeing Mihawk without a wine glass in his hand at such a gathering, something it seemed he had made no move to grab. They had long since kept some of his preferred wines available — some, because it'd destroy Benn's carefully crafted budget if they got the rarer of his favorite vintages — and even some half-decent glassware.
“Don’t want anything?” Benn asked, gesturing toward the open crates of various bottles stacked off to the side of the deck.
“Mm.”
Mihawk's curt response pushed Benn to take a closer look at the other man. The faint bags under his eyes and the odd set to his shoulders were undeniable. Those who didn’t know him well wouldn’t see anything but a menacing figure staring down the deck. To Benn, though, it was obvious how far exhaustion had seeped into the swordsman. Mihawk never slept that soundly when he was off sailing alone. Few people sailed alone for so long for a reason; keeping up navigation, watch, and every other duty left room for barely more than catnaps. Mihawk's observation haki and strength combined certainly left him in a more secure position than most, but wear on the mind and body was inevitable.
That wasn't even accounting for Mihawk's naturally odd sleep patterns. They was outright baffling at the best of times, even aboard their ship, and the rumors of him being a vampire were only fanned by his insomniac tendencies. More than once, Benn had ran into him in the middle of the night, more awake and alert than even the crew on night watch.
Shanks’ presence at least did something good in getting Mihawk to sleep more regularly. Really, they were both much more manageable the next day if they had snuck off to curl up in Shanks' cabin the night before.
But it had been weeks since they had even had the opportunity to do so, and it showed.
"Surprised you're willing to put up with this on your first night back."
Mihawk huffed, a dry, exasperated noise that spoke volumes on its own. “The noise would be as inescapable as always, a deck between or not."
Benn snorted at that. Indeed, there was nothing stopping a party aboard the Red Force. Even an attack would be nothing more than a brief interruption — hell, if it wasn’t really a threat, he doubted most of the boys would even put down their drinks.
Benn let any further response drift away in favor of a comfortable quiet, one that Benn was content to sit in. Their time together was often quiet in the first place, and quiet company was good company. Company that not just Shanks had missed over the last few weeks.
It wasn't long before Benn felt the lightest of pressures pressing against his side, warmth spreading across his arm. Out of the corner of his eye, the brim of the swordsman’s hat tipped down ever so slightly, shading his face from view. Something warm and bright stirred in his chest as he realized that Mihawk had found somewhere to sleep after all.
His arm snaked out from its pinned position between them, coming to rest at the exposed strip of skin on Mihawk’s hip. It was barely a hold, much looser than Shanks’ own were, but it kept him snug against his side all the same. A nearly imperceptible sigh slipped from the other man’s lips, and Beck felt the last tendrils of tension leave the other man’s form as he sunk into the contact. (If Mihawk was willing to allow physical contact — in initiating it, even in front of the crew — he could meet him in the middle.)
“Wasn’t planning on getting up anyways,” he murmured, lighthearted, fondness openly seeping beneath his low tones. "Glad to have you back."
The raucous sounds of the deck carried to his ears, and he let them wash over him, lazily smiling at their antics. Whatever drinking game they had been playing had devolved beyond comprehension while he wasn’t looking — not that it was anything more than a flimsy excuse in the first place. It was easy to spot his captain, even right in the midst of the crowd, between the shock of red hair and the familiar laughter and shouts echoing across the deck. It didn't take long for his captain to turn back towards him, no doubt having felt his eyes on him with his usual keen sensing.
What he hadn’t felt, evidently, was the relaxing of Mihawk’s haki as he had fallen asleep. Benn saw the half-formed call on his lips fail to make a sound, the man frozen as he stared blatantly at the sight before him.
It was nearly comical at how transfixed Shanks was. One would have thought Shanks had never seen the other man before; it was a miracle his beer bottle was still intact in his hand and not spilled or dropped. The other pirates around him paid him no mind, too drunk to notice his sudden pause — or too used to his antics to care.
Shanks would make his way over before the night was through, Benn was sure. Keeping him away from his swordsman was an impossibility, but for the time being, he was getting more than his fair share of amusement from where he was. His smile, both fond and impish, said enough by itself as he stared intently at them and raised an eyebrow teasingly.
Even though a vehement, crude gesture would have been warranted in return, Benn didn’t dare move beyond a scowl and a rolling of his eyes back at his captain as he turned away. Mihawk’s breathing had just begun to even out, and between the man’s observation haki and his near-constant raised guard, it'd take even less than a jostle to awaken him. Considering the man’s… temperamental reactions to being awoken too early, even when well-rested, he had no interest in facing that.
(And if Mihawk's slumbering presence at his side meant sleeping sitting up on the deck for the night... some things were worth indulging, no matter the aches and pains that were sure follow by morning.)
So, carefully, Benn relaxed into the solid wood of the ship's exterior behind him, idly rubbing his thumb against Mihawk's hip as he settled back in to watch the night's antics unfold once more.
#dracule mihawk#benn beckman#red haired shanks#bennhawk#bennmishanks#akagami no shanks#benn beckman/dracule mihawk#(this ship is so rare idk if bennhawk counts as a solid ship tag yet lol)#one piece#ao3#allbluefics
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wrote another mihawk/shanks/benn, in the same vein as "Under the Palm of My Hand" - this one has a LOT MORE explicit nsfw though so. yeah just a warning!
#one piece#one piece fanfiction#benn beckman#akagami no shanks#red haired shanks#dracule mihawk#mishanks#bennshanks#mibenn#bennhawk#akataka#finns fics
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Realizing I never made an actual post about it sooooo here is a Benn + Mihawk + Shanks fic I wrote a few weeks back! It's very short but sweet :)
warning for nsfw!
#finns fics#benn beckman#red haired shanks#akagami no shanks#dracule mihawk#one piece#one piece fanfiction#bennshanks#shanksbenn#shanks#mihawk#beckman#bennhawk#mibenn#mishanks#akataka
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third fic of the benn/shanks/mihawk series!
This one has... a lot less shanks haha. Hope you guys enjoy regardless!
(Here are the first and second fics in the series!)
#one piece#one piece fanfiction#benn beckman#akagami no shanks#red haired shanks#dracule mihawk#mishanks#bennshanks#mibenn#bennhawk#akataka#finns fics
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One Piece Crack Ship War - Round 2 Side D


Franky x Blueno art by @flimflamfranky
Propaganda under the cut.
Bennhawk: cmon CMONNNNN the two pillars keeping shanks from fucking dying...... guard dog and prissy cat...... two very smart and sexy men who see each other with vast respect.... if you peruse the 7 fics they have on ao3 you will understand.... Please see the vision here.....
Bluenky: LISTEN…they have so much potential to be such an interesting ship. the friends to lovers to enemies of it all….just imagine. blueno is in water 7 running his bar, isolated from the others. and then franky comes in, and he’s weird and new and interesting. franky, on true mob boss fashion, ends up choosing blueno’s as his bar. blueno stocks cola for franky, gives him gossip, and points him to people for his gang/family. franky protects blueno’s from ruffians and pirates. they become friends. and then blueno sees franky with kokoro and they’re familiar with each and suddenly this is part of the Mission. blueno gets closer to franky, fishing for information. their relation turns flirtatious. franky gives blueno an excuse to do things he couldn’t before, try new things, as part of the Mission. he doesn’t think franky is Involved, so he lets his guard down. he’s a government spy after all, he doesn’t do feelings. he starts to fall in love. and the robin arrives. and franky is involved, the key to the whole thing. and blueno denies, denies, denies. it was all an act, he doesn’t have feelings, he is a tool of the government and nothing more. and franky is betrayed. blueno was his friend, maybe more, but the whole time he was a spy for the government, the thing franky hates more than anything. they’re taken to enies lobby. blueno, instead of fighting luffy, takes a key and goes after franky, for reasons he won’t, can’t, admit to himself. they fight. franky is hurt and so so angry and blueno is cold, calculating (and conflicted). the fight is intense and bloody, but franky wins. he gets the key. he asks, was any of it real? and blueno denies to the end. someday i will actually write this fic. also this makes their meeting in film red so fucking funny.
#one piece#op crack ship war#benn beckman#dracule mihawk#cyborg franky#blueno one piece#tournament poll#round 2#side d
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tag game !!!!
Rules: Go to your (current/main) AO3 account and find the following:
Got tagged by @reservoirmonks mwah mwah
What ratings do you write most of your fics under?
for some reason equal between teen/E? very surprising. I feel like everything I ever write is E (<- lack of shame)
What are your top three fandoms?
one piece easily takes the cake.... skz is tehcnically second but like. i really dont consider myself writing for anything other than onep as real because that was yearssss ago.
What is the top character you write about?
the realness of a tie between benn beckman and red hair shanks. so painfully on brand
What are your top three pairings?
again, bennshanks. crazy. and then bennhawk (how?????) and bennmishanks (real.)
What are the top three additional tags?
fluff
dom/sub
puppy play
ok. well. hm.
Does any of this surprise you?
the only thing i'm surprised about is the amount of teen+ fics here???? literally when is the last time ive written something non-explicit.
Tagging: @gellavonhamster @thehoardofthegreatdragon @snailpaste @bananawanis @allbluedepths if u want !!!!!
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For ask game! 🍓🍄☁️
how did you get into writing fanfiction?
the ideas in my head..... too many...... LOLLL i got into reading first, obviously, but in . 2017 (?) i thought too much about bts (the kpop group) angst so. yeah here we are. I've actually taken a break for three years or so from lack of inspiration but.... wanpis...... the middle aged men Compel me. I also write fic out of love for my friends! I believe my first fic (long since orphaned by now) was a gift. idk if i answered this.
share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings
I said I would share my bennhawk date night thoughts with you so I guess I can do it here!
three keywords: wining + dining and flirting
the rome ants... the rome ants of it all..... in the soft atmosphere of a candlelit dinner they are not two exceptional people. just two men who love each other very much
shanks is not invited
mihawk smiles softly and takes a bite of his food. beck winks. they flirt /so/ much...... teasing and flirting, very, very sweet to each other.... just wining and dining.....
they don't fight over the bill because they alternate who pays. they did argue the first time though
they are traditional - bring each other flowers, walk down to the restaurant together holding hands, beck tells mihawk he's very handsome and mihawk blushes but flirts back... etc etc
very just. sweet and wholesome
I'm sure no one else wants to hear more so i will be spilling my further thoughts into your dms
what made you choose your username?
ahhh my pfp on all my non-fandom social media is bad badtz-maru from sanrio - badtz comes from that. I was formerly on twitter [character]luvbot, so i decided to keep the bot! alas, badtzbot.
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If y'all want more..... read my (very short) recent fic :) it's mostly bennshanks but theres mihawk mentions at the end
assorted benn mihawk shanks i just had to get it out there
mishanks married cause like of course they are. they are just so... so FOND OF EACH OTHER........ they are married and tender and come back to each other always because they are married and love each other and maybe shanks loves the sea more but he has space in his immensely large heart for mihawk as well. and shanks is mihawk's best friend, his only friend, really, because mihawk has had enemies and targets and challengers and people of interest but he's never really had a friend, not like shanks. and mihawk gets lonely sometimes, yes, but all he really needs is to feel rough straw under the pads of his fingers and the smell of smoke and everything is suddenly alright, when the odd ray of sunlight wanders to kurigana he knows who's doing that is. And he recognizes himself when he meets Croc - that man is missing someone too, he can tell, always with that far-off look in his eyes and a drive that Mihawk has since taken a step back on when he realised life wasn't all duels, but he could afford a friend, maybe two, maybe even a few kids to entertain if the halls ever got too quiet. And shanks gets lonely too, he gets lonely but he takes reprieve in the salt-spray of the sea and the burning bright sun and in his first mate, his constant anchor beck, beck who is older and wiser and ruffles his hair like a little kid and it always brings him back to when they first started on this journey, and it brings beck back too - he's always felt too old for whatever this batshit insane little brat drags him into, but its shanks, its akagami, its redhair, and thats enough - maybe hes incorrigible in his brash actions and maybe he reminds beck a bit too much of a puppy, but gods he is strong and he is benn's captain, and benn his first mate. and his husband is easy on the eyes too, hawkeyes through and through, and though benn doesn't think he will have the honour of ever being as devoted to mihawk as shanks is, the lovebirds they are, he is still proud to have a claim, however small, on the man's heart.
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Both seemed like fun ships, but Bennhawk could attract more votes this round, and they'll move on to round 3!
One Piece Crack Ship War - Round 2 Side D


Franky x Blueno art by @flimflamfranky
Propaganda under the cut.
Bennhawk: cmon CMONNNNN the two pillars keeping shanks from fucking dying...... guard dog and prissy cat...... two very smart and sexy men who see each other with vast respect.... if you peruse the 7 fics they have on ao3 you will understand.... Please see the vision here.....
Bluenky: LISTEN…they have so much potential to be such an interesting ship. the friends to lovers to enemies of it all….just imagine. blueno is in water 7 running his bar, isolated from the others. and then franky comes in, and he’s weird and new and interesting. franky, on true mob boss fashion, ends up choosing blueno’s as his bar. blueno stocks cola for franky, gives him gossip, and points him to people for his gang/family. franky protects blueno’s from ruffians and pirates. they become friends. and then blueno sees franky with kokoro and they’re familiar with each and suddenly this is part of the Mission. blueno gets closer to franky, fishing for information. their relation turns flirtatious. franky gives blueno an excuse to do things he couldn’t before, try new things, as part of the Mission. he doesn’t think franky is Involved, so he lets his guard down. he’s a government spy after all, he doesn’t do feelings. he starts to fall in love. and the robin arrives. and franky is involved, the key to the whole thing. and blueno denies, denies, denies. it was all an act, he doesn’t have feelings, he is a tool of the government and nothing more. and franky is betrayed. blueno was his friend, maybe more, but the whole time he was a spy for the government, the thing franky hates more than anything. they’re taken to enies lobby. blueno, instead of fighting luffy, takes a key and goes after franky, for reasons he won’t, can’t, admit to himself. they fight. franky is hurt and so so angry and blueno is cold, calculating (and conflicted). the fight is intense and bloody, but franky wins. he gets the key. he asks, was any of it real? and blueno denies to the end. someday i will actually write this fic. also this makes their meeting in film red so fucking funny.
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