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laughing-with-god · 3 years

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The Unsaid Vow (Prologue)

Synopsis- You always knew when you weren't wanted. And the way things are going in your marriage with Jungkook, a divorce is looking more and more likely. While he's getting closer to a woman at work that you're certain he's having an affair with, you're planning your escape with your four-year-old son. However, five years of marriage did not expose you to a certain side of your husband. A side of Jungkook that only gets triggered when you try to leave and break apart your perfect 'family'.

Warnings- Yandere behavior, graphic language, violence/murder, women bashing on other women, heavily implied infidelity, bad parenting, absent father, broken family vibes, very slow buildup bc Jungkook doesn't really snap until you leave him so just give him a min lol, inexperienced author writing for a four-year-old (I never wrote for a kid before pls gimme a break), also I chose my future son's name for this fic but pls feel free to name him whatever you want :)

Slow burn Yandere Husband Jungkook

Word Count; 5.4k

Unlike the vast majority of married couples, neither you nor Jungkook donned wedding rings.

Never in your five years of marriage did you regret this decision, given it was brought upon by you and your husband’s lack of funds for fancy wedding bands at the time of your rushed marriage.

Well, you were never annoyed....until tonight, that is.

The scene before you was exceptionally intimate, so much so that you felt the instinctual need to look away in respect of the two before you.

The woman was gorgeous, effortlessly attracting all the attention the small conference room had to offer. In addition to this natural charisma spurred on by her borderline enchanting looks, her short and skin-tight red dress showed off her pleasantly curvy body. Her long, silky, and jet-black hair was pulled back into an elegant ponytail that provided a simple background for her darling features. Utterly doll-like was her face; petite, creamy in complexion with bright doe eyes and berry-pink lips.

Such a beautiful woman was currently in the arms of an equally, if not more so, attractive man.

He was tall and slender, yet not at all lanky given his sturdy build that was a testament to his strict workout regime. His olive skin was complimented with occasional tattoos, a mix of faded and fresh ink that you knew like the back of your hand despite only the tats on his hand currently showing in his crisp Valentino suit. His mid-length inky black hair was down to frame his sharp face, and indeed it was a very handsome one consisting of full eyebrows, bow-like lips, a fleshy yet impish nose, and two large, yet seemingly bottomless, raven orbs.

This man had his arms encircling the middle of the mysterious woman, her expression lifting into a light-hearted giggle as she leaned forward to whisper something in his ear.

Whatever she said must’ve been amusing to the man, given his usual stoic facade briefly melted away as he allowed a small smile at her words, his pearly round teeth peeking out for a split-second appearance.

If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that these two were lovers.

But there was only one problem with this scene.

That was your husband, Jungkook.

And that woman in his arms was not you.

As if sensing your distress and wanting to soothe your well-founded suspicion, Jungkook pulled away from the woman and ran his gaze across the room- only stopping when he spotted you. Your spouse then gestured at you, the girl following his line of sight and landing on you and your pitiful spot by the snack table. Her joyful expression briefly dropped for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it second, but she quickly plastered on another grin and nodded. The two then strode their way over to you, barely giving you enough time to steel your nerves and muster a polite purse of the lips.

Before you knew it, the woman was right in front of you with your partner at her side instead of yours. Much to your dismay, she was only more attractive up close, and you narrowly held back a grimace as she held out a hand in introduction. You took it and shook it lifelessly.

“Hello, you must be Mrs. Jeon. I’m Sana, Jungkook’s colleague.” Even her voice was pretty, musical and light to the ears.

“H-Hi, nice to meet you but please call me Y/n.” A brief and awkward pause as Sana briefly sized you up and down. “Um, Jungkook has never mentioned you….” you trailed off, side-eyeing your husband in hopes he would intervene and add context to this random goddess he’s thrust upon you.

Jungkook gracefully took his cue and explained, “Sana transferred from another branch out of the city and has only been with us for five months. I’m her case supervisor and have been taking care of her, showing her the ropes and whatnot.”

Sana didn’t even spare you a glance as she fondly looked up at your husband, coyly biting her lip and saying in a much softer tone that could've been just for his ears only, “And he’s been really good at taking care of me.”

You didn’t consider yourself a jealous stay-at-home wife who obsessed over the tiniest details between her husband and other women, but the double meaning behind her badly-whispered comment was enough to make you splutter in disbelief. However before you could even gather up the courage to ask just what the hell ‘taking care of me’ consisted of, two new faces waltzed up and joined the conversation.

“Are you all enjoying this fabulous Christmas party?” A tall, broad-shouldered but nice-looking man asked in a tone of familiar amicability.

You thankfully smiled up at him, having met him many times before.

His name was Jin, and he was the one who got Jungkook this job.

It occurred about five years ago when you first told Jungkook that you were pregnant. Being the romantic but overall good guy that Jungkook was, he insisted that you two get married so that your child could have parents who were at least husband and wife. In addition it would also lessen the judgment in your two families, which at the time was extremely appealing to you. You had agreed to marry on one condition: after running to the courthouse you two would need to move in together in a decent apartment with a room for the nursery. But getting an apartment would mean month-to-month rent, and Jungkook’s tattooing gigs weren’t stable enough to ensure that.

Jin was originally a friend of Jungkook’s older brother, but when he heard through the grapevine about the issue, he bought Jungkook a couple of suits and offered him a job at the corporation he worked at.

Now Jungkook made more than enough money to support your little family, and it was all because Jin took a chance on a college drop-out and his knocked-up girlfriend.

You opened your mouth to respond but were cut off by the unknown lady beside Jin.

“I’d say a little too much fun if anything. Sana and Jungkook, we get that you're the infamous office couple but maybe tone it down a bit, huh?” She joked while raising her brows at the close proximity between the two.

A long and tortuous silence swept the scene.

Jin glanced at you, pity swimming in his usually carefree eyes.

Not trusting your voice to say anything and desperately wanting to hide your face from the piercing eyes, you distracted yourself by taking calculated sips of watered-down eggnog.

“Daehyun...this is actually Y/n, Jungkook’s wife,” Jin told the lady in an uncomfortable voice.

You didn’t know what stung more, the fact that this stranger thought that there was more chemistry between Sana and your husband than with you, or that it was Jin who corrected this mistake and not Jungkook himself.

“O-Oh, well it’s nice to meet you.” Daehyun awkwardly said to you while avoiding direct eye contact.

You offered a tight smile, “Pleasure.”

Whatever gratitude you could’ve had for Daehyun’s clear embarrassment quickly vanished when the woman went on to continue, “I’m sorry. Jungkook never mentioned being married and he doesn’t wear a ring so I didn’t even know. I bet it must be interesting for his housewife to meet his office wife though, right?”

She laughed, not realizing that she only succeeded in putting a foot in her mouth right before stomping it all over your pesky little heart. The group didn’t seem to share your uneasiness, all three of them politely chuckling along to the lukewarm joke at your expense. Once again, you focused on your dwindling beverage to avoid the burden of speaking or even facing them directly, too scared that your miserable expression would be unanimously inspected.

“Well, we just came over to recruit you all for some karaoke!” Jin cheerfully announced, clearly trying to change the subject, “There’s a machine in the break-out room and it’s more fun to sing with a group.”

“More like you want an audience.” Jungkook wittingly teased, a handsome smirk on his face as Sana playfully scolded him with a push to the chest.

“I’ll take your jabs now Kookie because I know they stem from your insecurity that I can actually upstage you in the vocals department.” Jin rebutted in good nature, even letting your husband’s old nickname slip.

Daehyun and Sana both guffawed at this declaration, exaggerated disbelief present on their faces.

“Jungkook is the best singer in the office. He’ll upstage you without even trying.” Daehyun said in a tenor of utter confidence.

“Only one way to find out!” Jin brushed the comment off, pointing to the direction of the assumed breakout room, “Karaoke anyone?”

The so-called office wife nodded enthusiastically, taking your husband’s arm and looking up at him to plead, “Can we do a duet of that one song we like?”

Jungkook, for the first time in seemingly hours, shot you with a questioning gaze.

Be married to someone for a while and you’ll learn how to decipher what they’re trying to say with just mere looks. Your husband was wordlessly inquiring if you were going to join, if he should go along with the group or if you two should break away and do something else.

The ball was finally in your court.

Not wanting to be rude but needing to get away from these people before you lost your cool, you decided on a subtle excuse.

“I need a refill, but maybe we can meet you all later?” You said, shaking your empty paper cup as if to prove your case.

“Oh, well the drinks are right behind you.” Sana condescendingly pointed out, tightening her hold on your husband and began steering him towards the exit, “We’ll save a seat for you.”

Bewildered, you watched as Jungkook obediently followed her lead with the Daehyun girl trailing behind.

He didn’t even spare you a glance.

You wanted to be angry.

You wanted to storm up to your husband, yank him out of the clutches of his colleagues and practically drag him back home under the premise that he would never speak to Sana ever again.

But instead of a righteous rage fueled by the marital vows you two took, utter exhaustion bestowed upon you and prevented any instigation on your part.

Maybe earlier in your marriage you would’ve fought for his attention, but now you simply just wanted to go home and lick your wounds with the help of a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream while self-obsessing over Sana’s outrageous attractiveness. After all, who could blame any hot-blooded man for choosing that goddess over you? What could you possibly do but lean back and accept that she was the obvious choice?

Other than her being a knockout beauty while you were merely average on your best day, she had other qualities that made her a more appealing catch. She was most likely younger than you, obviously fit, more ambitious and professionally driven than you, and presumably has no kids.

Meanwhile, you were just an old stay-at-home mom who lived off of her husband’s paychecks while he fucked his coworkers behind her oblivious back.

Before you could draw more detailed comparisons between Sana and yourself, you felt a large hand place itself on the middle of your back, successfully guiding your attention to the only person who bothered staying by your side.

Jin smiled sadly at you, sympathy shadowing his expression as he gestured with his other hand to the empty cup still in your hold. “Let’s get you some more eggnog.”

You nodded wordlessly, still speechless from the interaction, and allowed the taller man to guide you towards the snack table. Jin then took your cup and refilled it himself, providing you the opportunity to pick at the catered food in some cheap attempt at stress eating. By the time Jin came back with a full cup, you were halfway done with a sugar cookie and eyeing the meatballs next.

“Here ya go,” Jin said as he handed over the drink to you. You took it and nodded in thanks but kept your eyes glued to the food, not wanting him to see just how defeated and tired your face probably was. But, Jin wasn’t going to let the whole thing go. “Y/n….I know what you saw and heard looks really bad but trust me….nothing is going on between Sana and Jungkook.”

You snorted. “It doesn’t just look bad, Jin. It was like they were practically rubbing it in my face. Him having an affair isn’t the problem, it’s the way they’re not even bothering to keep it down. The least they could do is be discreet.”

Jin’s jaw slightly dropped, “‘Him having an affair isn’t the problem’? Y/n, do you even hear yourself? Of course that would be a problem! Do you not care about your own marriage anymore?”

And there it was.

The big question.

Did you truly even care about this marriage?

Well, let’s look at the facts.

One: The disrespect of his alleged mistress was more offensive to you than the fact that she was a mistress.

Two: Jungkook dragging you along to this office Christmas party was the first time in over a year that he bothered to take you out.

Three: You two had humble beginnings and could barely afford food, much less wedding bands when you first got married, but now he was a very wealthy man and had no excuse for not buying you or himself a ring. Unless, of course, he enjoyed acting single around other women.

Four: And on top of all this, it had to be factored in how distant he has been with overwhelming work hours that prevented any alone time with your husband. Sex with Jungkook has been off the table for almost a year now.

But did any of this really bother you until tonight? The answer was a resounding no. You were willing to take all those burdens in stride but tonight it wasn’t just about the fact that you were the unwanted wife Jungkook got sacked with, it was the fact that you were humiliated and forced to face the type of girl Jungkook should’ve been married to all along. That was all you were truly upset about.

The conclusion that you indeed didn’t care about your marriage and haven’t in some time now hit you in a sudden wave, but in no way were you shocked.

Voice shaky and brittle, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Jin and say the one thing you always secretly thought but never dared utter out loud. “I-I guess I always expected it to end like this. When we were younger, he was always the popular one and all the girls wanted him. We were only dating for three months when I got pregnant, and if it weren’t for our son he probably would’ve dumped me eventually and left for another girl. But, he stuck around for his kid because he’s a good father. And I’ve been nothing but a burden to him for a while now.”

Tears began to blur your vision, forcing you to quickly duck down and quietly sip at your drink so as to not embarrass yourself even more.

You heard a shuffle and suddenly Jin was holding you, using both of his lengthy arms to cage you in and rest you against his broad chest. It had been a long time since a man had held you like that, and you practically went boneless at the contact. You closed your eyes and tried to will away the incoming tears, even going so far as to solely focus on the scent of Jin’s cologne as he soothingly said, “Y/n, listen closely to what I’m about to say. You and Hugo were never a burden to Jungkook, and you two never will be. Your marriage was sudden, but it doesn’t make it less valid than any other marriage out there. Jungkook has been with you for so long, he just doesn’t realize when other women are interested in him because he’s been off the market forever. But I promise you, if I knew for even a second that he cheated, I would tell you right away.”

You didn’t say anything.

Although Jin’s words were comforting, they weren’t necessarily true. A marriage that started from a healthy courtship and true love instead of inconvenient circumstances was of course more valid than yours. And even though you were sure of Jin’s honesty and loyalty to you, Jungkook could’ve easily kept his affair secret from Jin as well.

However, you didn’t wish to concern Jin anymore. You already put him through too much awkwardness tonight and didn’t want to keep him by your side as some sort of emotional sponsor any longer than you already have. Jin always loved parties and was the life of any one he was invited to, even if it was just a lame annual office gathering. You then felt guilty for putting Jin in a situation where he would even have to console you when he should be out enjoying karaoke with the rest of his coworkers.

You promptly pulled away from Jin and wiped at your face. He released you and also took a step back, carefully studying you for any signs of further turmoil. Once sure that your face was acceptably dry, you gazed back up at him and offered a thankful smile. “Thanks Jin, I’m sorry I just dumped all of that on you. I really have to use the ladies' room though, can you point me to it?”

“It’s right by the conference room,” Jin informed, pointing out the general direction for you. You nodded and took a few steps toward it before he grasped your wrist to stop you and ask, “Do you want me to wait for you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll just find you and Jungkook when I’m out. Go and join the others for karaoke.”

Jin nodded but seemed unsure.

You didn’t look back to see if he actually went to follow the others, instead just advancing to the restrooms, secretly looking forward to some alone time even if it had to come from a public bathroom.

Once you entered the restroom you were relieved to find it completely empty, you weren’t sure if you could handle another run-in with Jungkook’s female colleagues. They all seemed to have a personal vendetta against you.

Instantly, you dashed to the mirror to inspect your makeup, assuming at least the mascara was ruined from your little cry. Thankfully, the damage was minimal and you were able to clean the smudges up with a damp napkin. You focused all your attention on the dreadfully small task, trying not to study your reflection too much given it would just conjure up more mental comparisons to all the other prettier women you encountered that night.

Yet the small task couldn’t last a lifetime, and you had to resort to looking at your phone in search of things to do. You weren’t emotionally ready to go out and search for your husband, so you wanted to prolong your time in the bathroom. Although it hasn’t been that long since you left the house, you decided to text the babysitter for any updates about your son.

To Emily: Hey, is everything okay with Hugo?

It only took about 40 seconds for the teenage neighbor girl to text back an answer, clearly on top of things and overly eager to provide any updates.

Emily: Yes! He ate his dinner, took his bath and we’re about to get ready for bed.

Your motherly instincts were satisfied with that response, but it didn’t do anything to subdue your desire to return back home. Your thumbs briefly hovered over the keypad, somewhat hesitant with the next text you were about to send.

To Emily: Great, thanks again for doing this. Listen, I think we might head back home sooner than we thought. Don’t worry tho, I’ll still give you the pay for the full four hours.

Before you could wait for a response from her, the sound of multiple incoming footsteps interrupted the steady silence in the restroom. Muffled female conversation could also be heard, the slight laughter and bickering amongst a group of women approaching the bathroom. Your fight or flight instinct was triggered, and to avoid any more awkward encounters you rushed to the nearest stall and shut the door- fully prepared to wait out the faceless group of female colleagues.

You heard the restroom door swish open before the women burst in, chatting and giggling with their heels clicking against the tile floor. One of the unknown females made way to the stall beside you, the others presumably hovering by the mirror if the sudden comments about their appearances were anything to go by. You quietly sighed and pulled out your phone again, ready to drown out their office politics talk.

Only for the conversation to somehow steer towards you.

“Did you see her?”

“Of course, I was very confused, to be honest.” One of them replied. “I mean….look at Jungkook and you just assume that whoever he’s with is drop-dead gorgeous, and she was just eh.”

“Yeah, she was pretty plain. What was her name again?”

“Y/n.” A third voice cut in, this one eerily familiar to you.

You glued a hand over your mouth to silence your gasp.

It was Sana.

“Did he ever mention her around you? You are the closest to him in the office Sana, and we didn’t even know he had a wife until tonight.”

“No, I didn’t know until tonight either.”

“What?! That’s insane. Literally all the time he spends with you: getting coffee, buying you lunch, driving you home after late nights, and he conveniently never mentions that he has a wife at home?”

“That’s suspicious. But I guess if I had a dog like that at home, I’d never mention her either.”

Cruel laughter from all of them.

The toilet from the stall next to you flushed, then opened as a new voice entered the discussion while she approached the sinks.

“It’s more than suspicious. He doesn’t even wear a wedding ring. And he’s so close to Sana but never mentioned that he’s married?” A pause as she washed her hands. “It’s obvious what he’s trying to do. Jungkook is trying to have an affair with Sana.”

Although this exchange was extremely hurtful to you, you felt somewhat relieved that you weren’t the only one to see what your husband was doing.

A pause hung in the air as none of the women spoke for a minute, they were willing to gossip but apparently outright declaring the obvious was a step too far for them.

Eventually, one of them chimed in with their own observation.

“Can you blame him? Sana you’re the most beautiful person in the office and you look so good next to him anyway. Much better than that cow Y/n.”

Another round of obnoxious laughter that broke your heart.

“C’mon guys. We gotta head back. Jungkook is gonna get anxious if Sana is away for too long.” Someone teased.

They all murmured in agreement, heading towards the exit as a group before one stopped them with a final question.

“Wait, Sana. If Jungkook does want to have an affair with you, what are you going to do?”

Although you couldn’t physically see Sana, you practically heard the smirk on her face as she said, “Who says we already aren’t having one?”

Needless to say, you ditched the Christmas party almost immediately after the bathroom incident.

You texted Jungkook a white lie about Emily struggling with Hugo, although a good father would’ve known something was up because your son had never given babysitters any trouble before. But luckily, your husband also wasn’t doing so hot in the dad department either.

You would’ve felt bad for not telling the truth if the truth wasn’t so fucking embarrassing.

“Hey, I’m gonna go home to cry like a little girl because I caught your coworkers talking shit about me. Oh, and also your little girlfriend accidentally let it slip that you’ve been fucking her this whole time. K talk to ya later!”

You grimaced at the thought of actually sending that text.

Sure it’s what that cheating bastard deserves, but you just weren’t emotionally ready for that fight yet. Especially after the night you endured, you needed some time to pick yourself up and figure out what to do next.

Divorce was the next logical step, but you were financially dependent on Jungkook. If you moved out and took Hugo with you, where would you two stay? How could you afford to be a single parent? And if Jungkook were to try to fight you for custody or the divorce in general, you would need a damn good lawyer. Unfortunately, lawyers weren’t cheap, especially one that stood a chance against Jungkook and all his wealth.

Your shoulders sagged with the imaginary weight of all these burdens.

When you entered the high-rise penthouse that you called home, you were surprised to see Emily anxiously pacing the foyer in waiting for your arrival.

“Hey, how was Hugo?” You greeted politely, already opening your clutch to pull out the agreed-upon salary.

“M-Mrs. Jeon, I swear I tried to have him in bed by eight like you said but he’s being stubborn and said he won’t go to sleep until you come back and read to him-” The teenager rushed out all at once, clearly nervous that you would scold her.

You held a hand out to stop her rambles, using your other hand to give her the money, and offered her what you hoped was a comforting smile, “It’s okay, Em. Thanks for doing this on such short notice. Why don’t you run home now and try to enjoy your Christmas Eve?”

Emily looked relieved that you weren’t mad, gratefully taking the cash before grabbing her jacket and shoes to make her exit. “Thanks so much for this Mrs. Jeon. Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas.” You farewelled while walking the young girl out, locking the door behind her.

You turned around and proceeded down a long hallway that led to the bedrooms, stopping at the door beside the master room which belonged to your four-year-old son. You opened it to peer inside, the familiar deep blue walls with painted-on sea creatures greeting you back, swiftly reminding you once more of Hugo’s obsession with the ocean.

Your son was bundled up in a twin bed so big that it practically drowned him, his small frame barely being recognizable in the large fish-printed duvet wrapped around his tiny frame, only his small and adorable face peeking out to stare right back at you.

Hugo was essentially a carbon copy of Jungkook. At first you were somewhat resentful about this, how was it possible that you carried a baby for nine months and he came out with absolutely none of your features? But after a while of watching Hugo grow up and come into his own slowly but surely, you were pacified by the conclusion that while he may look exactly like his father, his personality and heart took after you.

“Dumpling, why did Emily say you were giving her a hard time and wouldn’t go to bed?” You asked gently, sitting by his side and petting his black hair.

‘Dumpling’ was a nickname you chose for Hugo since you first found out you were pregnant with him. It stemmed from your sudden pregnancy craving to eat dumplings and nothing else, you once even going two straight weeks surviving off the food. There were many times where Jungkook had to bribe you into eating other things, playing on your guilt for not providing your baby all the nutrition he needed. But even now ‘Dumpling’ still stuck, if Hugo’s chubby cheeks were anything to go by.

“Mommy, I-I’m sorry but-” His big doe eyes looked up at you in teary guilt, “I really needed you here. It was a nece-necess-”

“Necessity, bub.” You finished for him, grinning at his attempt at a big word.

Part of you wanted to scold the boy for being difficult, but you didn’t have the heart to. Lately, Hugo has been more clingy to you than ever before. Yet it was practically impossible to punish him because Hugo has always been a good kid and you knew deep down that he didn’t act out unless there was something else going on. You suspected that it had something to do with the lack of his father’s presence that forced him to hold onto you like his life depended on it.

“Well try not to do it again, okay? Emily is a nice girl and she’s just following my orders when she tells you to go to bed.” You said, ducking down to peck the crown of his head and continue running your fingers through his hair.

Hugo nodded in understanding but ultimately stayed silent, basking in your cuddles.

All was silent for a passing moment, and while Hugo enjoyed his mother’s touch, your mind gradually returned to the turmoil that was your marriage.

A sudden epiphany struck you and bit your lip as you debated an idea.

Should you expose your son to your future plan?

The victim of any divorce has always been the children who were left behind. And the last thing you wanted to do was blindside Hugo. Perhaps you should play the hypothetical game just to see where your son’s head was at? It went without saying that Hugo was closer to you than Jungkook and you were more of a parent than your husband. But still, every kid deserved to have a say in their parents’ divorce.

“Bub, how would you feel if….it was just me and you?” You hesitantly inquired.

“What do you mean mommy?” Hugo titled his head in bewilderment and craned his neck to look back up at you.

“What if me and you went away to live together?” You clarified.

“Like a va-vayca-”

“Vacation? And no. But forever. Just me, you and no one else.” You whispered, as if Jungkook himself would storm in and catch you planning your escape with the toddler.

“Oh.” A pause as you could practically hear the mechanisms in his four-year-old brain trying to work out the logistics of what you just proposed. “Okay.”

The nonchalance in his youthful voice had you taken aback.

“It’s a really big decision, Hugo. You wouldn’t mind...not living with daddy anymore, right? You would hardly ever see him, dumpling.”

The boy shifted to lean more of his body against you, essentially resting against you with his head on your chest as he said, “But it’s like that already, mommy.”

Your heart broke.

You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him closer to you, feeling a maternal instinct to comfort and protect.

“Okay Dumpling. I need you to promise me not to tell daddy what we talked about.”

“”Kay.” Hugo yawned and closed his eyes, inhaling deep breaths of your scent and beginning the process of falling asleep. “When do we leave?”

“It’ll take some time, bub. You start school in a few months, so mommy will try to find a job while you’re there.” You told him, not bothering to try to explain the concept of a lawyer or apartment deposits on top of that. “But we can do this. It has to be a secret but you're my partner in crime.”

“Like spies?”

You chuckled, “Yeah, like spies. Promise to work with mommy in utter secrecy?”

You held up a pinky, one that Hugo grasped with his own.

“Promise.”

Author’s Note: So....A while ago before I took my long ass hiatus, I did a poll for which yandere story I should write next. The Unsaid Vow won but that was around the same time that shit hit the fan in my life. Recently was scrolling through my notes on my phone and found some of the plot points for this story and I needed a lil break from QQ. Plus I know so many ppl were hyped for this concept so....Here ya go lol. This is kinda short but it’s just a set up, Chapter one’s plot line will start a few months after this when Hugo will start kindergarten and Y/n will actually start looking in to jobs, lawyers and apartments. Also I’m sorry but I’m really bad at writing for kids lol, and I absolutely refuse to write that gross ass baby talk so just pretend your son is a lil genius okay? Also srry Once but I needed really pretty girls to be villians in my story so yeah, Twice girls in here aren’t likable but aren’t reflective of how i actually feel about them lol.

Big thanks to @sushireads once again for creating the cover art for this fic. They literally are becoming my go-to for fic art.

And my beta readers @bigbuffjoonie and @mustardpop! They beta’d for QQ and I came to them really early about this fic. They were with me since the beginning and have given me advice with creative choices to just simple grammar. They easily could’ve leaked the first draft of this too but they didn’t and kept it secret for a while. I was really insecure about getting out of my comfort zone with this plot but they really guided me.

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madd-devil · 2 years

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3 Nuits Par Semaine

Author Note: the translation for the title is 3 nights per week and it is a very old French song about two people having sex lol anyway, I am very happy tumblr finally let me post this one

TW: Smut, sub!Felix, kind of BDSM

He was always following you.

He became like your second shadow at this point.

You were barely tolerated inside the camp, living with them but still separated, like you were ill with a plague. The boys never spoke to you, only Pan did, and he was always mocking you. He kept you, allowed you to breathe on his island just because he thought it was funny to have a girl on the island.

You were pretty much fine with your new found solitude. You were pretty lonely in your last realm. You didn’t mind being alone. But it was soon disturbed by Pan's fierce second in command. You didn’t know when or how he started following you around. At first, you thought Pan tasked him to do this, but when you spoke about it to the little devil, he chuckled and said Felix was his own man.

The blond haired boy made you uneasy. To have someone following you like that, you hated it. You were always frightened he would watch you shower in the waterfall or the lagoon... You were pretty sure you saw him watching while you were asleep. He was such a creep.

Sometimes, Pan would order you to go on a patrol by yourself and you couldn’t refuse it. He was letting you live, and at least you were doing something else than staying in your tent reading or writing. You walked around, feeling happy that no one seemed to be behind you.

Suddenly, you felt watched and a bad gut feeling was slowly creeping in your stomach. You stopped, looking around nervously. You didn’t know how to fight, so you wouldn't be able to fight back if someone had bad intentions with you. With your back turned to the vast and dark fauna, you didn’t think you were being vulnerable.

"Boo!"

You screamed in fright, and attempted to turn to run away, but you fell. A loud laughter echoed in the forest and you rolled your eyes, quickly understanding who the culprit was.

"It's not funny Felix!" You yelled as you stood up.

"Yes it is. I appreciate how scared you can be." He talked with a sadistic grin. "Besides, Pan told me to help you for today."

"Are you forced to do whatever he tells you to do? You are a fucking dog."

Felix grabbed your face roughly, with a glare, and you grew scared for a second. You were like frozen, you knew how violent and strong the blond haired boy was.

"You are so right, I am a dog." He whispered almost mockingly before licking your cheek roughly.

"Ew! Get away from me!" You screamed in disgust, pushing the boy away before wiping your cheek with your sleeve. "You are so gross Felix!"

"Aw, you mad?"

"I fucking hate you!" You screamed back, still grossed out.

"The feeling is mutual, princess."

The nickname annoyed you so much. And he knew it. You threw yourself on the boy, like a cat pouncing on a mouse. Except, in your case, your mouse happened to be a very tall boy, who had more fighting skills than you. He easily avoided your pitiful attack and laughed again when you ran straight into a tree.

You hold your nose, feeling a warm liquid slowly rolling down. You took a glimpse at your hand and saw blood. You grimaced at the painful feeling and heard the second in command walking behind you.

"Are you okay?" He asked, almost worried.

"Do I look like I am?" You moaned painfully. "Don't touch me you psycho!" You screamed when he approached you.

He rolled his eyes and still grabbed your forearm, pulling you out somewhere. You let him drag you wherever he wanted. You both stopped inside a small unoccupied camp. Felix grabbed something from the inside of a huge tree: it was kind of a first aid kit. He opened it and took a napkin. You flinched when he sat down next to you, holding the handkerchief to your face.

"I can do it myself." You growled as you took what he was holding and put it under your nose.

"Right, such an independent woman." He chuckled as he watched you.

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Alright I will sew your damn mouth together."

He snorted at that, throwing his head back. It was an empty threat, and he knew it. You didn’t have much strength, you never had trained with the boys. You barely knew how to hunt and it was a miracle that you were still alive and in good health. After a few minutes, your nose stopped bleeding and you threw the handkerchief at Felix who caught it lazily.

"This is all your fault." You growled, knowing your nose will bruise. "Why are you so obsessed with me?"

"I am not." He snapped, his eyes growing dark. "Who would want to be obsessed with you?" He told with a mocking grin.

What he said actually hurt your feelings, and you huffed, deciding to leave. The blond haired boy may have gone too far, you were very annoyed by his behaviour. He was obsessed or something. He was still behind you when you left the little camp.

You groaned in annoyance and bothered by the sound of Felix mumbling in his sleep. His tent was not that far away from yours, Pan had told you it was that way so you were watched all the time. The lost boy was loud during his sleep, and you decided it was time to put an end to this.

You snuck out of your tent and walked quietly to his, entering without making any noise. The blond haired boy was moving a lot, mumbling and moaning, sweat covering his forehead. You grimaced, knowing that boys usually dreamt of having women during their sleep. You nearly threw up at the thought of him with other girls naked... But you were tired of him ruining your sleep.

"Felix... Felix!" You breathed, shaking the boy.

His skin was incredibly hot, it was strange you noticed. The second in command's eyes opened suddenly and you bite your lips to not let out a scream. He was so good at frightening you.

"What do you want?" He asked, confused. "It is still nighttime..."

"You... You are bothering me. I can’t sleep because of you moving and making noises."

"I am sorry princess, but you don't live in a castle."

"It's not funny!" You said, hitting him. "I have been losing hours of sleep because of you. You really are a pain in the ass, even when I can finally rest from your bullshit, you still find ways to anger me."

He laughed and brought his face closer to yours, his eyes shining with excitement and mischief.

"Then why don't you come tiring me a little?" He asked with a smirk.

It took you some times to understand what he meant and you couldn’t help but blush intensely, your face growing hotter and hotter when imagining you and Felix having sex together.

"You pervert!" You yelled, smacking his face away, not caring if you woke up some boys.

Felix fell backwards on his bed, and you watched his chest rising and falling. It seemed like he was always seeking a way to make you furious, so you would hit him or something. It was sick.

"I am going back to my tent." You mouthed, making your way toward the entrance.

"Wait-"

You prefered walking away from the blond haired boy rather than staying listening to what he wanted to say. Felix was definitely weird you thought and you decided to take some distance with him.

Some days had passed and it looked like Felix had taken the silent message well. Pan never gave you chores, however he always appointed you to get dreamshade or packages from the mermaids. They were kinder to you, and softer, you thought it was because you were a girl so they trusted you easily.

It was one of those days, where you had to walk at night, alone, to the lagoon. You didn’t like to walk at this time, because you were terrified of the dark in Neverland. It was full of dangerous creatures, and sometimes pirates were lurking around.

"Damn Pan..." You groaned, holding the weird looking shell in your hands. "Sending me at night just for a fucking shell..."

You stopped, feeling suddenly watched. You slowly reached for your sword, falling at your side. You hoped it was no pirates, if you were lucky they would be afraid at the mere mention of Peter Pan. Living on his island was a good protection.

"Who's there? State your name!" You yelled, your voice shaking a little.

Something knocked into you and you accidentally let go of the beautiful and mysterious shell. It disappeared somewhere on the ground, and you cursed at that. You couldn’t even take your sword, someone was blocking your face against the forest floor.

"Get off me!" You cried, moving your legs up and down in a panic.

"Come on, take a joke for once." A familiar voice huffed.

It was Felix. Of course it was him. You should have been used to his weird jokes by now. He thought it was funny but it really wasn't. It was uncalled for. Especially now: he knew Pan liked to send you to get his precious magical objects. The blond haired boy rolled beside you, with a frown.

"You are not fun."

That made your blood boil. You glared at him before jumping on his stomach. The second in command stared at you with wide eyes, not used to seeing you that angry. Your hands crept to his neck and you gave a hard squeeze, just to scare him and to definitely make him stop from annoying you.

It was a real surprise that he did seem to mind the precious air missing from his lungs. His eyes were closed, and a weird smirk was creeping on his face… The bastard enjoyed this.

"You sick pervert, you need to see a doctor." You growled after hitting him again.

“What are you talking about?” He asked, breathing heavily.

Your hands went back at his neck, where bruises started to form. You didn’t care about him possibly dying, you just wanted him to respect you. As you applied more and more pressure, you watched as he moved, but not trying to escape or fight back. Instead, he was… doing something weirder than enjoying you choking him: rubbing his legs together. Then, the thought struck

you and you couldn’t help but gag.

“You’re so strange Felix.” You whispered, a little fascinated by his reactions and behaviour.

You decided to go harder and choked him with all your strengths. Not only did his face become red, but he let out a moan. Your eyes widened in shock, and you slowly let go of his neck. You stood up, and walked back to the camp, not caring about the shell, and thinking a lot about what happened with the second in command.

You entered your tent, fell on your bed, and closed your eyes, hoping to forget that awkward moment.

When you woke up, it was still night time. You still had a little time to go search for the shell Pan told you to bring him back. You put a fur cloak around your shoulders, not wanting to be cold. You stepped outside, careful to not wake the sleeping boys. You frowned when your eyes caught the blond haired man's tent. Your eyes widened again when you heard some sounds coming from it. Was he… was he getting off from what happened today? He was really shameless.

But why were you so drawn to go take a look?

You shook your head, determined to go search for the magical object. It was your number one priority. Not Felix and his sick fantasies. You walked toward the jungle but stopped again. You had to admit… It was a little arousing. You always thought Felix was pretty, but in an odd way. He looked like he came straight from one of Picasso's paintings.

Why were you thinking about this again? You needed to go through your mission and succeed if you wanted to stay alive on the island, and it was not by screwing Felix that you would do that.

You closed your eyes, the second in command's moans echoing in your mind. You shouldn’t be doing this. You shouldn't… Then why were you stepping toward his tent silently. It was so wrong, it was breaking Felix's private space and you didn’t want to invade it. You stopped right beside it, not daring to enter. You thought about how the young man would look, with your hands around his throat again… what was wrong with you?

"(Y/N)?!"

You snapped out your thoughts and realised you had walked straight into the tent. Your eyes widened at Felix's naked body… and you looked away, your cheeks heating up.

"I… I am sorry. I thought… I thought something bad was happening." You lied.

"I would have liked you to at least state your name." The boy chuckled, pulling his blanket over his body. "I mean… I would have hated it if it was someone else."

"Some… Someone else?" You repeated.

So… he didn’t seem to mind you breaking in? It was unbelievable. On one hand, you were embarrassed and you really wanted to leave but on the other hand… Now, you felt more aroused. Your legs started to rub together, and you bite your tongue hard.

"I… I have to go." You breathed out before running outside.

You had avoided Felix for some time since that night. It was pretty embarrassing for both of you. You never thought the serious and cold blooded second in command was that way, into this kind of stuff… You observed him from afar, he was speaking with Pan around the main bonfire. Did the king of Neverland know his number one lost boy loved to be choked and hit?

"Pan wants to talk to you." Devin said as he approached you from behind, surprising you.

"Why?" You asked, suddenly concerned about your safety.

You had brought back his precious shell when you had seen and talked to Felix that night… You still could remember clearly.

"Don't know. Said it was important."

You nodded and thanked him for informing you. As you walked toward the brown haired boy, your eyes caught Felix's and you couldn’t describe what you were feeling. It wasn't love, and it didn't last either… But maybe a mix of both?

"How is my favourite lost girl doing?" Peter Pan questioned with his mocking voice.

"I am fine."

"I have some questions for you… regarding Felix."

"Oh…" You muttered.

"You sound disappointed… I mean, I know you aren't very close with him but Felix has been acting strange lately." Pan explained. "He is not his usual self, and I know you like to observe and analyse people. I want you to discover the reason for Felix's behaviour."

"I will try to, I don’t promise anything."

"Smart girl." Pan chuckled, glancing at you.

You nodded at him, understanding what he meant. You didn’t want to promise something you couldn’t achieve, and didn’t want to make false promises. Pan knew this, and you were glad you were that way. You never lied too, you were in fact so scared of being killed that if Pan questioned you about Felix's whereabouts, you would tell him everything.

You sighed and scratched the back of your neck, an odd habit of yours when you were nervous. You didn’t want to hurt the second in command, and revealing his secrets would actually hurt him and his position. You knew some boys lusted over his shiny job and his strange relationship with Peter Pan. Being the second in command came with a lot of advantages. Should you warn him about what the leader of the lost boys told you? You didn't want to scare him off or even… You were simply too embarrassed to speak to him after seeing him last night.

Maybe you should talk to him… Tell him to be more cautious about his nocturnal activities.

You asked around to know his location and the boys told you he was at the top of the highest mountain in Neverland, probably to observe if any enemies came. You hated hiking and you weren't prepared mentally to climb but you needed to. But Felix owned one for you. You were being a good friend.

But did you want to stay only a friend to him?

The images of Felix naked flashed through your mind as you walked with difficulty to the top. You were a slow walker, and you hoped the second in command didn't leave while you were ascending. You didn’t understand why you were so aroused the night you entered his tent, when he moaned when you were shocked… What was wrong with you? You never had those kinds of thoughts.

You were panting heavily when you reached the top and nearly fell to your knees, feeling the sudden need to throw up. You tried to catch your breath for a second, repeating the ideal scenario of talking to the blond haired boy in your head. You need it to be short and quick for your mental health.

He was standing tall before the edge, and you wondered how he could not be afraid of heights. You were terrified of them. It was a miracle you climbed all the way up there without fainting.

"Felix!" You called up to him. "Felix!"

"What is it, princess?" He asked, turning and smirking at the pet name.

"We need to talk. Seriously."

You approached him but stayed at a good distance from the edge. You wondered again how he could be so calm while being so close to death. Finding some bravery again, you looked up at the boy, your hands balled into a fist.

"Pan asked me to investigate you because you are acting weird and I think we both know why…" You trailed, observing his reaction. "So stop being a creep."

"I am not a creep. You are!" Felix said, pointing his weapon and staring at you. "It's you who entered my tent unannounced, and you were the first to start the hostility."

"What hostility? You liked when I hit and choked you!" You screamed back. "I can't believe I tried to help you…"

"Tried to help me with what?! Stop being obsessed with me!" He used the expression again, but with rage this time.

"Fine!" You snapped and turned to leave. "We both know why you behave like that, so YOU should stop being a creep!"

Of course Felix would put the blame on you and pretend nothing was wrong. He was such a coward, you couldn't believe it. You had seen him heading straight into battles, first in line, and fighting mermaids and pirates. Why was he so afraid of affirming he liked to be hurt? You could keep the secret and Pan wouldn't have to know about it.

The next evening, you found yourself roaming around the quiet part of the jungle, craving the silence and the loneliness. You hadn't talked to Felix since your confrontation on the mountain and you told Pan you didn’t see anything wrong with the blond haired boy. The leader of the lost boy didn't seem to believe you but thanked you for at least trying to help.

You stopped in front of the sea, welcoming the breeze with open arms. No pirates were present for once. It was not like you hated them, but some of them were really loud and always drunk. The captain, Hook, was quite likeable and seemed to enjoy having you on his ship. You wondered what life at sea could be like, maybe it was more exciting than living in Neverland? You rarely went on "adventures" as Pan named them, because you were a girl and so not entirely a part of the lost boys, which was stupid.

"What are you doing here?" A voice asked from behind you. "You shouldn't be away from the camp at that hour."

You rolled your eyes and didn't bother to turn. You crossed your arms over your chest, still admiring the ocean.

"Good evening to you too Felix." You spat. "I am sorry I didn't know I had a bedtime."

"There is no time for jokes. You know how dangerous the island is at night. Go back to camp now."

"Or what?" You questioned, approaching the blond haired boy slowly. "You are going to put me over your shoulder and carry me there? Or beat me up to make me obey?"

You smirked, watching as Felix's face seemed to redden a little. You had to admit, with his innocent face and look, and with the moon's light, he did look beautiful. You felt a little crazy when an idea popped up in your mind.

"Or do you want me to beat you up like I always do? It would fit perfectly, don't you think?"

"Wh… What are you talking about?" He stuttered.

You stood up on your tiptoes, staring straight into his eyes.

"Come on Felix, we both know you liked the choking." You flirted.

"I don't see what you are talking about…" He lied, stammering.

You both knew he was wrong and you needed to prove it. You bet he didn't expect you to slap him hard across the face. You watched his reaction, a bit nervous and uncertain. But you smiled as he let out a shaky breath, his hand on his cheek, his eyes glancing at you shyly. What went through your mind at this moment was incredible: you never thought you could feel that way. You felt… powerful in a way. Felix looked away, ashamed and you didn’t want him to feel that way.

Unfortunately for you, the blond haired boy ran back to the camp, not stopping when you called him. Maybe you went a little far? You didn't mean to hurt him, you thought he liked that. Maybe you should go and apologise to him later?

Later, as you laid in bed unable to sleep, you thought again of Felix. You shouldn’t have slapped him, it was uncalled for. You still didn’t understand why you did that, you wanted to test him, to see if he really liked it… You shifted in your bed, uncomfortable. It wasn't like you didn’t imagine yourself having sex with the second in command… You had those thoughts sometimes, and the thought of having him under your control was… something you desperately wanted to experience.

"(Y/N)? Are you… Are you sleeping?"

"What?" You groaned, annoyed.

Felix timidly approached, a sudden look of fear in his eyes, which was… pretty rare. You never saw him looking that afraid. You watched as he stepped in your tent in silence and he stopped, looking down at your face.

"Did… What did you say to Pan?"

His voice tried to be mean and cold, like he didn't care, sounding a little ordering. You smirked at him and decided to play a little mind game with him. Surely he wouldn't mind, he had been an asshole to you all the time.

"I don't know, what did you think I said to him?"

"I… You are the worst, a little vixen."

"Are you trying to insult me? That was pretty weak from you Felix."

He opened his mouth, like a fish and stared at you in despair. You smirked again, happy with yourself. Finally, you had some leverage against him that you could use. You weren’t a wicked one, of course you wouldn't tell Pan… yet.

"So are you going to leave or do you plan on standing there like a tree all night?" You asked with a chuckle.

He made some inaudible groan before leaving your tent in a hurry. You smiled to yourself, and with a giggle, you remembered how awkward and embarrassed he looked when he moaned while being choked…

You felt something tightening up in your stomach however it was not sickness… Actually you felt quite hot when you thought about Felix and how he would look under you, your hands around his throat…

"Oh my god shut up mind!" You whispered furiously to yourself before trying to get some sleep.

The next morning, Pan had forced you to assist or participate in the lost ones training sessions. You weren’t a fan of those, you prefered to stay alone and he knew that, still you had to go through it. However, it was rare he made you actually participate so you were just looking and judging with him. You groaned as you observed the boys, clearly bored and tired.

"Why do you have to train them in the first hours of morning?" You complained to Pan who was standing to your right, ignoring the second in command at your left.

"Because they are more concentrated and actually are doing something." He replied, not looking at you. "They are eager to eat after."

"Yeah, boys are so well known for listening to their stomachs… and dicks."

Pan laughed at your joke, his eyes twinkling with happiness. You snorted at it too, but glanced from time to time at Felix. He looked so intimidating and tough in front of everyone else, but with hands around his neck… You wanted to see the reactions of the boys a little bit. It could be funny… But harmful for the blond haired boy, and you didn’t want to look at him in that kind of pain.

"Is it over?"

"Stop complaining, it's annoying." Felix growled.

"Stop being so uptight, dog."

"Quit it, both of you!" Pan spoke loudly. "I should make you do something together, maybe it will bring you closer and stop having those silly arguments in my kingdom. You are both annoying and uptight."

"I don't want to spend time with that vixen!"

"Likewise, dumbass!"

"Enough!" Pan screamed, startling you and the rest of the lost boys. "If you do not stop those childish arguments, I will kick you both from Neverland!"

You bite your lips, restraining you from trying to reason him. You knew it was not an empty threat and you definitely didn't want to be alone in a dangerous and dark realm again… The only solution was to bond with Felix, which was nearly impossible. But still, you wanted to try.

"Fine…" You mumbled.

"Felix?" Pan called.

He didn't make any sounds but only nodded his head slowly. The boys went back to training shortly after Pan's outburst, and he sent you and the second in command in the forest, to see if the hunting and fish traps were full. You weren’t exactly happy to do it with him, actually, you were a little excited. You would have to stay some days away from the camp. Before leaving, you turned to Pan with a smirk.

"Do you have a leash to walk the dog?"

"Stop with the humour and go on your way." He replied, bored.

Being with Felix was not that bad, you believed. He knew all about the island and could keep you safe, not that you couldn’t protect yourself. Still, the blond haired boy stayed bossy and wouldn't stop commanding you around. You grew tired of that and sat down like a child in the middle of the road. He turned to stare down at you, visibly annoyed at your behaviour. He approached and gave your leg a little nudge.

"Get up."

"No."

"You are such a child, I can't believe Pan made me go collect the traps with you. You only slow me down."

You huffed and crossed your arms, avoiding looking at him. He sighed and then got angry suddenly, pulling you up harshly by the arm and throwing you on the road. You tripped but didn't fall, and glared at the second in command.

"What the heck Felix?!"

"Let’s go. I don't want to stay here at night. We need to reach the hunting camp."

"Why? Afraid of the dark, are you?" You chuckled as he walked past you.

"Shut up and walk."

"Fine, horse face." You cursed under your breath.

You hated walking for hours and without any break to rest. Felix seemed to didn’t mind, he didn't talk to you at all through it. You were walking behind him, at a slow pace, mainly to annoy him. He was always so serious, so stuck up, like he had a broom up his ass. So uptight because he liked to get hurt. You wondered if he liked to be slapped too. Then, your eyes fell to his ass and you smirked to yourself. Did he like being spanked?

"What are you thinking about?"

"Your ass."

"What?!" He stopped and turned to look at you, surprised.

"Ugh… nothing?" You grimaced as you strutted quickly past him. "Nothing."

When you reached some hunting traps, you knelt down to inspect if anything was inside. You were quite happy to be away from the camp, if you had to admit: sometimes the boys were too loud for your own taste, or they were playing pranks on you, driving you mad. At least, it was silent there.

"You know, instead of staring at my beautiful person, maybe you can lend me a hand?" You questioned the second in command.

"No I don't think so."

"Why? You know, if you continue to be that lazy, you are going to have your precious second in command place snatched by someone else."

Felix approached you swinging his club over his shoulder with a confident smile.

"And what makes you think that, princess?"

You rolled your eyes before smirking, successfully confusing the blond haired lost boy. He thought he would always maintain his Pan's most trusted? Maybe it was time to teach him a lesson. So, you swiftly grabbed his throat and squeezed hard, which made the lost one fall to his knees with a blushing face. Such a creep. You couldn’t wait until he would moan. This was so funny and amusing, it was very different from what you had experienced with other boys in your old home.

"So not very talkative anymore, lost boy." You teased.

"Shut... Shut up..." The boy tried to say but he was visibly flustered as you put more pressure on it.

He then moaned, and looked away, blushing even more. You laughed at that then let go of his throat, watching him fall and gathering his thoughts.

"I will see you at the camp." You said with a small wave, taking the meat bag with you.

Felix came some minutes after you had started the fire. There was no tent, so both of you would sleep under the stars tonight. Luckily, the boys who would often come there to install the traps would leave mattresses made of hays and leaves which was not very comfortable but they could do with some blankets. You cooked some small meal with the meat you collected earlier and ate quietly. Felix was a big boy, he could cook his food himself. But to your surprise, he didn't eat anything at all. He just removed his cloak then laid down on a mattress.

You observed him for some time, trying to understand him and understand what you were feeling about the second in command. Since the beginning of your stay, you couldn't help but mess with him and he was also doing the same for you. Uou also believed you could… you could love him. You had feelings for him, for quite some times, but you buried them within yourself. You couldn’t afford that. It was weird to feel the rush of those emotions suddenly. You guessed it was because you were completely alone with him.

"Felix, you sleeping?" You whispered. "Felix?"

"I was but not anymore thanks to you…" He groaned, his back facing you. "What do you want?"

"Why do you like being choked?"

As soon as the question came out of your mouth, you felt a sharp pain at your forehead. You winced, offended and hurt, realising that Felix had thrown a big rock at you.

"What the hell?!"

"Stop with your stupid questions!"

"But why? I promise I won't laugh at you."

"It's a lie. You lie all the time." The blond haired boy said softly, and it made your heart break a little.

"You don't trust me?"

"It's not that. It's… complicated. You wouldn't understand. You laugh all the time at people's misery." He sighed angrily.

"Hey that's mean! I only laugh because it's funny. You should try laughing sometimes. Besides, you are mean and horrible to me! Since I got there, you were so weird, mocking me or pranking me and then you started being mean." You complained. "I just want to help you."

He rolled on his side and looked at you. He seemed to search for his words, and didn’t seem to trust you that much yet. Maybe Pan knew of his dark secret? Did anyone know or had suspicion?

"Alright… But if you laugh or make one single remark, I will kill you in your sleep." He threatened before facing you again. "I… I just enjoy being hurt during sex, nothing more." He stuttered. "I had… experiences." He finished, trying to hide under his blanket.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself for that, you know? But damn, control yourself better if you don't want to get caught."

"It's fine. I can do it. But now that I told you my secret, you have to tell me yours. I swear I won't say anything."

"Well…" You said, uncomfortable. "I have to admit… I liked dominating you, in a way?" You revealed, blushing madly. "I mean… it is not the first time that… I do that and enjoy it." You continued, thinking about your past for a moment and all the people who asked you to do those practices in bed.

"Oh…"

You both stayed quiet, not daring to say another word. It was a little awkward, spilling those kinds of confessions.

"I… I never really had sex." Felix admitted shyly. "I know it's stupid."

"It's not. You shouldn’t beat yourself up over that." You told him, glancing at his face. "Did the others laugh at you for it?"

"No, I never told them. Not even Pan. I don't… I don't want to be alone again."

Boys took great pride in sexual experiences, you knew too well. It was no wonder he felt that way, especially since he was the second in command of the terrible leader of the lost boys.

"You're not alone, you have me." You smiled softly at him.

The blond haired boy didn't say anything after your little conversation. You figured out he went to sleep when you heard him snoring lightly. But you, on the other hand, couldn't bring yourself to close your eyes. You hated sleeping outside, with little to no defense. That settlement was located between huge trees and dense bushes, and you swore you saw eyes behind them. Slowly but surely, you advanced toward Felix and slipped next to him, appreciating his warmth and feeling protected.

The next morning, you both went back to camp. Felix didn't seem angry at you anymore, but he was his usual self: cold and emotionless. It was just a cover, he didn't want to seem vulnerable. Boys could be cruel when they saw someone was weaker than them. But you noticed how much the blond haired boy looked at you now. Sometimes you would wave back at him or smile, and it amused you to see his cheeks blushing a little.

Cold nights were unusual on the island but you welcomed it with open arms. You didn’t like how hot it was during the night and loved to put many blankets atop of you. You sighed, comfortable, and it was actually quiet for once. You were enjoying this weather because the boys stayed inside all the nights and didn't play any pranks on you recently.

When you were finally falling asleep, you heard someone entering your tent. You glanced over your shoulder, confused as to why someone would come in at such a time. It was Felix. You frowned, didn’t understand why he was there.

"What do you want, blondie?" You groaned. "Aren't you supposed to walk around the island?"

"I was tired. And it is cold… Can I stay here?"

The question surprised you and you didn’t refuse it. He looked so… so strangely calm. He slipped under your covers, and you regretted a little to let him do that. It was so small now and it didn't help that Felix pushed himself against you. You tried to go back to sleep but the blond haired boy was moving too much. You kicked him and commanded him to stop, but couldn't hear what was saying under his breath.

“Stop hurting me!”

“I am not, you enjoy it, remember?” You hissed.

“I enjoy it in a different setting, little miss shit.”

You smirked and turned to look at him with a wink.

“And… If I manage to put you in this setting, will you finally enjoy it?”

The blond haired boy blushed furiously but managed to nod slowly, while looking away. You giggled, finally understanding that if he requested to stay with you, it was maybe because he wanted to have sex with you.

"Have you ever been kissed?" You hummed, as you slowly moved to straddle Felix's waist.

The lost boy shook his head weakly, like he was ashamed of that. You sighed and laughed a little, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. His hair was always wild, he never bothered to brush, certainly there were a lot of tangles.

"Would you like to find out? Do you want to know what it's like to be loved?"

You had already started to kiss face, then moved to his jaw, his skin getting goosebumps and warm quickly. He gulped nervously and you suddenly wondered if you weren’t making him uncomfortable. That was the last thing you wanted, you would never hurt Felix like that.

"Yes... I would like that." He breathlessly confessed, a little ashamed as you moved to kiss his lips.

"Good... boy." You smirked as you helped him remove his clothes. "What do you want me to do to you?"

Timidly, his hand reached for your own and brought it up slowly to his throat. You understood well: the last days had taught you a lot about the lost one, and you knew what he mostly enjoyed. You gave a soft squeeze first, to test the water. You really didn't want to hurt him, only give him pleasure.

"Shit…" You heard him muttering.

"What? Already coming?" You said, mocking like he would do to you. "You truly are a virgin."

"That hurt you know."

His hands started to roam your body, and you didn't realise until he tried to put his hands under your nightgown. Your eyes hardened suddenly, and you slapped him hard. His head jolted to the side and he was panting, his eyes glued on yours.

"Not so fast " You growled, reaching to imprison his bigger hands in your little one above his head.

The blond haired boy gave you a soft and weak smile, at least he was appreciating the moment. You then remembered to be quiet or else some snouty boy will try to enter. Quickly, you took a hair ribbon you sometimes used for your hair or other things, and tied it around his hands. He gave you a questionable look.

"So you don't attack me while I am trying to please you." You explained as your hands rubbed against his scarred chest.

"What if… What if someone hears us?" He shrieked, really worried, his eyes darting at the entrance of his tent.

"I trust you to be silent then."

"It is not me I am worried about."

You hummed as you kissed him, finally silencing him. He tried to move to touch you again but forgot his hands were tied up. He groaned when he realised, but his little pained groans turned to moans when your skilled hands finally touched his dick.

It was such a sweet melody and you didn’t care if someone heard you two. Something in you warmed your whole body and you recognised it, definitely turned on by the lost boy's sounds. You didn’t want to waste anymore time: you slowly pulled up your nightgown and impaled yourself down on his dick with a loud moan.

Bringing your hands over your mouth, you started to ride him, and he did his best to be silent. However it was not working. You were almost proud of how you made him, Pan's most fiercest and trusted lost one, sing like that while you were dominating him.

After a moment, you leant down and bit him hard on the shoulder. He let out a pained moan, and glanced down to admire your artwork: in a way, you were marking him. Your mouth flew to his neck, sucking, leaving more marks. And he was still enjoying this.

No matter how rough you were riding him or hard you were slapping him, Felix loved it.

You could guess it, with his moans and his body movements. His eyes were begging for more so your hands curled again around his precious neck and you squeezed hard. His face went red for a moment, his eyes rolling back. He was being a good boy, and good behaviour was rewarded, you thought.

Swiftly, you removed your nightgown that you threw somewhere and brought Felix's tied hands to your chest. With a bit of difficulty, he started to fondle your breasts, always looking up to make sure you were okay with this.

You had forgotten how good it was, and couldn't help but release loud moans. The boy's eyes went wide when he heard you, and you didn’t know if it was because of fear to be caught in such a lewd position or arousal. He was doing his best to contain himself, and you noted that next time, you two would go to a more secluded place.

"I think… I think I am close now…" He managed to squeak, and closed his eyes, his breath rapid and his chest rising and falling quickly.

Sure, you were too but thought it was a bit too soon. It meant the fun would end in a few minutes. But, it was not disappointing for a first time. You gave him a quick nod, allowing him to come inside you.

After, it was your turn. You had your orgasm building since you were riding him, but it was not coming as fast as you wanted it to be. Riding him harder, you felt yourself come at last. You fell on the lost boy's chest, appreciating the blissful moment.

You snuggled Felix for a long moment, rubbing your nose against his scarred skin. It looked like he was sleeping, but he was still awake, his hands softly touching. Remembering they were tied with your ribbon, you sat up and delicately untied them. Realising there were some bruises on the wrists, you kissed them. Then, you laid down beside him, letting him curl against you.

"Do you know what the French call what you are experiencing right now?" You asked him, and earned a little head shake. "La petite mort. The little death." You couldn’t help but giggle a little, so did Felix.

"That's a ridiculous name."

You hummed as a reply and nodded, your hand combing his hair back, effectively lulling both of you to sleep.

"I hate you, you little vixen."

You woke up to a very angry looking Felix, staring at his own reflection with a scowl, using your mirror. It was luxury only you could afford, a reward from Pan. You didn’t understand what was the problem but quickly caught on: your love marks were going to stay for a while, that was for sure.

You started to giggle at how concerned he was and moved to help him, however he stopped you. He glared at you, and gritted his teeth together in an attempt to frighten you.

"I swear if you tell Pan, I-!"

"What will you do Felix? Fight me? Insult me?" You snapped back as you looked around for your clothes. "Stop being so ashamed of yourself for once."

The lost boy stayed silent, and looked away from your eyes. You sighed, passing a hand through your hair thinking about last night. Why was he so afraid that the boys would know about him being so submissive in bed? He was already submissive to Pan, by following his orders. It wasn't so different.

You threw his clothes back at him, eying his answer. He didn’t seem that aggressive or angry, just afraid. He looked quite innocent naked like that, with that dumbfounded and worried look on his face… You giggled at that thought which made the blond haired snap again.

"What is so funny?" He shrieked loudly.

"Calm down, blondie and lower your voice… I would have liked making you shout like that last night."

Felix blushed furiously after that, and you laughed as he dressed up quickly before darting up outside, tripping on his way.

It was for lunchtime that you finally decided to come up from your tent. The boys never noticed your absence and Pan would have come to you if he needed your person. Stretching, your eyes wandered around in search of the second in command but he was nowhere to be seen. Approaching Devin, you asked about his whereabouts.

"Pan sent him to look for the sentry. They didn't come back last night." He gave a quick reply, too busy with sharpening his dagger. "Why do you care anyway? You are like cats and dogs, you and Felix."

"So I can make sure he doesn't bother me today." You lied, and knew Devin would buy that.

"(Y/N), a word please." Pan suddenly appeared, taking your arm and walking with you at the edge of the camp.

"What's up?" You questioned, trying to sound confident but deep down you were a little concerned.

The devilish boy stood tall before you, crossing his arms over his chest, and you hesitated to run away. He truly was intimidating when he wanted to, and you knew he could kill you right now if he wanted. You gulped nervously and waited for a reply.

"I have nothing against having you in the camp." Pan stated, staring deep inside your soul. "Heck, I even tried to make you closer to some of the boys, let's admit it: you can be quite useful. However, I didn't think you would be that close to Felix quickly."

Crap, he heard. You both weren't exactly the quietest and you cursed at yourself. If you could, you could slap yourself and beg for Pan's forgiveness. He wouldn't hurt Felix, but he wouldn’t hesitate to punish you.

"Let me finish." He said, pointing his finger at you and sensing your fear. "I have nothing against your nocturnal activities with my second in command but I would very much like you to keep it outside the camp."

"I… We will." You promised with a nervous smile.

"Really, you both were insufferable last night. I couldn't get an hour of sleep." Pan groaned as he walked away. "Be grateful the boys are heavy sleepers."

Indeed, you needed to find a new place to have sex with Felix. And you knew some perfect locations. Smirking to yourself, you strutted back to camp happily, glad to be alive and breathing.

#ouat #ouat felix #ouat felix x reader #ouat peter pan #ouat neverland imagine #once upon a time felix

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jungkxook · 3 years

Text

—make it right. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ genre: punk!jungkook / band au / exes-to-lovers au / angst / smut

⟶ words: 11,528

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ summary: you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too

⟶ warnings: jungkook has a tongue piercing, oral sex because of said tongue piercing (fem!recieving), more tattooed and long haired jungkook to feed my fantasies, angsty pining clingy sex, also just general soft sex, crying sex lol, riding, creampie, slight praise kink themes, unprotected sex

⟶ disclaimer: here’s my one year blog anniversary present inspired by the first ever fic i posted on here! yes this is technically a sequel to melomaniac but not really. sort of like an alternate universe to the alternate universe but you don’t really have to read one or the other to understand the other. so, i hope you enjoy!

⟶ this is part of the melodrama tour series!

You swear you’re over Jungkook.

In fact, you would even go so far as to say you hate him ━ but you know that’s not true. It’s just that it’s much easier to believe that if you tell yourself you hate him enough times, then maybe you’ll find a way to fix your broken heart, and the pain in his absence won’t hurt so bad.

As it turns out, it hardly works.

Seven months since he had left you to travel the world with his band, basking in promised eternal glory and fame and money, and yet even miles and oceans away from where you stand, he’s all you can think about. There’s a myriad of reasons as to why trying to forget him was an useless endeavour. The hardships of trying to forget a cherished life-long friendship you had grown accustomed to was one of them, and those lingering happy moments you had shared with him as lovers however fleeting they may be was another. But then there was the ever present fact that Jungkook and his band were so quick to rise to fame, their names far exceeding the seemingly cramped and small city you had both reigned from, and suddenly the boy you had known forever, and everything special that makes him, was now being shared to hundreds of millions of adoring fans.

You were certain it was all Jungkook ever wanted, the added attention and the pretty girls fawning over him, because he had always been a casanova in many ways despite always promising you that you were the only one for him even before you had started dating. You had told him it wouldn’t work ━ I trust you as my best friend, you had said in a moment of despair, grasping at straws. I don’t have to worry about you breaking my heart. But I don’t know if I can trust you as my boyfriend ━ far before he and his band had been signed to their record label and paraded around the world, when they were still practicing in rented storage units and friends’ garages and rundown local studios, playing gigs anywhere and everywhere from dingy bars to college campus parties, supporting him every step of the way if only because he was your best friend, and he had been so persistent that it would work, chasing after you even when you tried to push him away. I would treat you right, he had urged so ardently late one drunken night after stumbling back to his apartment. I already practically worship the ground you walk on.

And how could you ━ who had already been so madly in love with him but scared of him breaking your heart, scared of losing him, scared of this happening ━ ever resist him? He made love seem so easy, and maybe that’s because it was when you were with him. But now, he was no longer yours; now, he was the world’s, and you were nothing but a mere hazy fragmented memory in his mind, long forgotten, watching from the side of the stage much like you always had from the very start of it all.

“Hey, isn’t this that band?” Jihyo’s voice bursts through your wandering trail of thoughts.

It takes you a moment to recollect yourself, finding yourself not in the arms of an ex-lover or stuck in a bygone time of months past, but in the cosy and amiable café nearest your campus and frequented by a plethora of your fellow peers. You’re fortunate to find that your other group mates have also become sidetracked, trailing far from the assignment you were all supposed to be working on. Dahyun is perched beside you, chin nestled in the palm of her hand and elbow propped on the table as she scrolls aimlessly through her phone; Jihyo and Taeyong were sat across from you, gossiping fervently about some mutual friend of theirs. You hadn’t known the pair long enough to know much about them or the tragic affair of whoever Mina is for accepting her cheating boyfriend back for the second time, and, likewise, they seem oblivious to your own self-wallowing once you realize what’s caught Jihyo’s sudden attention.

You hear his voice first.

It’s easy to discern, even after all this time and even amongst the muffled chatter and clanking of porcelain and cutlery of those seated around you. The sweet, velvety lull of Jungkook singing throughout the café from the overhead speakers, pretty upbeat melodies and synths mixed with wistful words making up the song he had written for you before he left, before the fame and fans, as a way of telling you how he truly felt about you. It feels like a dream, and maybe that’s because it is, bringing you instantly to another time, and another world. You still remember him showing you the unfinished song for the very first time, curled up next to him in his living room, listening to him serenade you to sleep, humming in places where he hadn’t formed the words yet, strumming along with his acoustic. It was yours and his until he showed the world almost a year ago on their very first show at the Seoul Olympic Stadium in front of thousands of people, as a final desperate act of proclaiming his love for you after a disastrous attempt at a first date that he had begged from you. Just one, he pleaded. To prove it to you that I can be a good boyfriend. And if things don’t work out, we can pretend it never happened and just go back to being us. That’s a promise.

At the time, you had treasured the song. It was beautiful in every way, his love transcending his words and enveloping your heart in pure warmth.

Now, you hate it.

It’s the third time you’ve heard the song that day. Despite avoiding it as best as you could, it seems to find a way to make itself known in your daily life like the nagging nuisance it is. Because fate seemed to enjoy its sadistic behaviour of having the song be one of the main reasons Jungkook and his band had skyrocketed to fame in such a short span of time and, suddenly, Jungkook disappearing from your life meant little when his voice remained as a constant reminder of what could have been, what couldn’t have been, and what fell apart at the already fragile seams. And what was a proclamation of love to you turned into nothing but a fabled tale of lovers. You wonder if people who hear it ever think about where they’ve gone, or who they’ve turned into, or if their love was made to last. You wonder, above all else, if people ever think about it at all.

“Beyond the Scene, right?” Taeyong asks. He seems just as animated to be discussing the song as Jungkook’s voice fades into Jimin’s.

“God, I love this song. It’s so dreamy,” Jihyo lets out a longing sigh as she slumps against her seat. “Y’know, I’m seeing them this Friday. It’s their first time being back in, like, five months.”

“Dude, I’ve been trying to get tickets to see them for months now!” Taeyong gaps incredulously. “How’d you score them?”

“A friend of a friend knows the guy who plays keys,” Jihyo says. “The cute mysterious one.”

“Yoongi, right?”

“Yeah━”

As the pair dive into a passionate discussion about the boys and their first full-length album released under their recently-signed-to label from Columbia Records, you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Dahyun almost immediately straightens up, eyes flickering from the pair to you and back again. You’re both fortunate she’s there, having known your past with Jungkook, and despise it a little more, wondering what her pitying gaze must mean.

“Hey, Dahyun. Y/N.” Taeyong’s voice grabs your attention now. “What do you think of these guys? Didn’t some of them used to go to this school?”

“Yeah, I had a few classes with their drummer.” Dahyun waves her hand airly, swiftly brushing over the fact that she did far more than have a “few classes” with any of the boys but was also one of their closest friends. “I think they’re great━” She glances sideways at you one more time. “Hey, maybe we should get back to the assignment now━”

“I had a class with their lead guitarist, Jungkook, last year,” Jihyo continues, her excitement getting the best of her as Dahyun’s voice drowns out in the foreground.

“No way!” This dubious exclamation comes from Taeyong.

“I tried talking to him once but he totally blew me off,” Jihyo says. “Which is fine, because he’s still hot. If I had known he was gonna be a famous rockstar, I’d have tried asking him out a second time━”

Suddenly, you feel sick.

It’s odd to hear two strangers discuss Jungkook’s life while you’re seated across from them, as if you’re nothing more than an outsider to whoever Jungkook has become now. But you can’t stand it anymore. You’re certain you look insane to them when you push your seat back abruptly, the metal legs screeching against the floor as you stand.

“Whoa, what’s wrong━?” Taeyong starts to ask but you’re gone before he can finish the question, murmuring a half-hearted excuse about how you forgot you needed to be somewhere.

You’ve rounded on your heel and have fled from the café before anyone can try to stop you, with nothing but Jungkook’s mellifluous voice fading in the distance as he croons aloud for you in a time long since passed.

You don’t care. Besides, you’re sure Dahyun will cover for you.

The worst part of it all? The dreadful realization that sinks into your mind, and into your heart, beckons the question: who’s to say you aren’t a stranger now to Jungkook’s life altogether?

“So, what are you trying to say?”

You remember the moment so clearly despite wanting nothing more than to forget it all, and the pain associated with it. Because even from then you knew you would always be in love with Jungkook, but you couldn’t have him. It’s hard to remember whose fault it is this time that caused the sudden fight, though random little arguments had been a frequent occurrence nearing the end of your one year relationship more often than not. You hate blaming it all on him, because you were certain you were at fault too. Maybe a little bit wary at times, a little selfish, wanting him all to yourself. Even though you knew he has an obligation to the world, it still hurt when he started making promises he couldn’t keep, blowing you off for soundchecks, or spontaneous interviews, or record label meetings. More and more you could feel the both of you drifting apart, maybe without even meaning for it to happen.

It was just that Jungkook was destined for a lifetime of greatness, and you were starting to think that meant without you.

You had stopped him late one night after he had stumbled home from his and the band’s nightly studio sessions as they worked through recording their debut album as a signed band. Lately, it seemed as if that was all that Jungkook cared about, and while you knew the band meant the world to him and you would always support him in his endeavour, you couldn’t help but feel lesser in comparison. That, and you hated seeing the boy overwork himself to the point of near exhaustion every night if only because their label was so adamant about having the album finished before the month ended.

“You want to, what? Break up?” Jungkook asked, this time more incredulously and less dumbfounded as he had initially been. He didn’t believe you just yet, but you couldn’t exactly tell what he was thinking anymore at that point.

“I just figured we could use some time apart,” You had suggested awkwardly. “Just a break.”

He had let out a breathless, disbelieving laugh. “Y/N, this is insane.”

You flinched. You remember having to look away, refusing to meet his suddenly sorrowful look. “Is it, Jungkook? I mean… Look at us. We’re falling apart. It was bound to happen eventually. We tried to make it work but maybe we’re on different paths now.”

“But I love you,” Jungkook gasped, exasperated. “Where is this coming from?”

“And I don’t want to have to tie you down for the rest of your life,” You continued on stubbornly, “or make you think you owe me your whole life just because you said you fell in love with me when you were thirteen━”

This seemed to catch Jungkook’s attention. He grew rigid in front of you, a look of wary agony contorting his face. “Is that what this is then? You don’t love me anymore?”

You didn’t respond immediately, instead the dread of the night seemed to finally catch up with you and you had grimaced. You had loved him even then, but the thought of voicing it aloud when you were supposed to be breaking up with him didn’t feel right. The tears began to swell in your throat and blur your vision. Jungkook must have noticed, because he always seems to spot the small things about you that even you miss. Almost instantly, the sour look on his face softened and his gaze turned helpless, with those big puppy-dog eyes that you’ve always been too fond of. He closed the distance between you at once, warm hands grabbing at your own.

“You do.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. He knew you were still in love with him ━ or maybe he’d just been hopeful. “I know you do. So then why are you breaking up with me?”

He let go of one of your hands to reach up to your face, calloused fingers gentle and soft against your cheek as they brushed away a rogue tear you hadn’t realized had fallen from your lashes. For a moment, you had let yourself get carried away. You leaned into the comforting heat and touch of his palm as he cradled your face.

“Don’t━” You choked out after a moment of silence, hating when your voice splintered into a sob. “Don’t touch me. Please, Jungkook. You’re only going to make this harder.”

His hands sprang away from your face almost at once, as if he had just been burnt by scalding fire. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull you into his arms but he had refrained the urge somehow, miraculously. So, instead, he grit his teeth and clenched his hands into fists as his arms fell limp at his sides.

“Then don’t do this. Don’t walk away,” Jungkook pleaded desperately. “I don’t understand. If you love me still, why are you making this harder for yourself?”

“Because what if that’s all we have in common anymore?” You asked wretchedly. “We care about each other. We always will. But you’re focused on the band, and this is my last year of school. Maybe we just need time to focus on ourselves.”

Jungkook blinked once. Twice. His stare was suddenly devoid of any emotion as he gawked at you, but you could tell that he was hurting. It was there in the fluttering of nerves in his jaw; there, in the way his lips pulled taut into a thin line; there, in the way even you could see his eyes begin to shimmer with wet tears that he unabashedly displays without trying to wipe away.

“So that’s it?” he asked. “After everything we’ve been through. You’re just gonna end it, like that? Y/N, come on━”

His hands had found purchase on your waist, and you had lingered for a moment too long; then, fumbling, he tried to grab delicately at your face, probing you to look at him. But you couldn’t. The moment you met his wounded gaze, you shook your head furiously. You had slithered out of his grasp, slipping through the seams of his fingers just like that.

“I━” You paused. “This isn’t some spur of the moment decision, Jungkook. How can you not see it? I’ve felt so alone these past few months. It’s like you’re here but not entirely. Your mind is always somewhere else, always thinking about the band and never about us.”

“What am I supposed to do?” he had asked hotly. “The band is my everything.”

“And what am I?” You asked. The question only mildly offended you, a shot right to your heart. Because if the band was his everything, what were you in comparison? “A distraction until you get everything you want? I can’t keep being that.”

“No!” he protested. “You’re not a distraction. You’re━” He stopped himself short, brows furrowing. “You can’t keep pinning this all on me. You just don’t trust me, do you? You never did. Always thinking I’m with some other girl when I’m not with you━”

“That’s not true,” You admonished.

“Isn’t it?” Jungkook retaliated.

“I don’t want to hear it,” You had said at once. Your tone was final, a decisive ending to your argument with him. “My mind’s already been made up, Jungkook. I don’t think we should see each other again until we sort all this out ━ or, until you sort out whatever your priorities are.”

Jungkook’s stare had hardened, a frown deeply etching into his face. He had straightened up then, perplexed and upset with your standoffish demeanour, as if thinking this surely meant nothing to you. But little did he know this would become one of the hardest decisions you would have to make.

“Fine,” he said rigidly. “If that’s how it is, then I’m gone. You’ll never have to see me again.”

You hadn’t known at the time just how terribly you had messed up ━ neither had Jungkook. He had left before you could stop him, or before either of you could change your minds. Because nothing’s worse than a broken heart, blinded by stubborn and defensive rage. Accusatory fingers and blaming him or you wouldn’t heal the wounds that had already formed, and ending things seemed to only make it worse, months of lonely heartache without Jungkook to further prove just that…

The last time you spoke to Jungkook, you told him you never wanted to see him again ━ or, at least, that seems to be how he interpreted it.

Now, you were standing in the midst of his domain, surrounded by everyone in his public sphere of friends and colleagues and acquaintances, and there was certainly no way of escaping him.

You were starting to think you’re losing mind, because you’d truly have to be insane to have worked up the nerve to agree to go with Dahyun to a party being held celebrating the band’s recent tremendous success and headlining their first world tour. Their manager, Jin, had personally reached out to you and Dahyun, calling you as a means of asking you to attend, though you had given him a timid and dismissive response at first. If it hadn’t been for Dahyun purposely and almost quite literally dragging you out under the premise that “even if you don’t want to see Jungkook, you at least owe it to the boys to go,” you don’t think you’d even be here. But while you didn’t know where you stood with Jungkook anymore, that didn’t mean you weren’t still proud of him or the rest of the boys. It just became harder to bask in their success with them when you had gone from knowing every detail of their lives, of Jungkook’s life, to knowing only what you could hear from gossiping fans around you, or plastered in tabloids, or all over any form of social media.

The party is held at some sort of fancy lavish restaurant, the entire back room rented out by the band’s record label and management, and is filled with dozens of people you don’t know. Fortunately, you and Dahyun aren’t left alone for very long, as an elated Jin and Jimin, the appointed lead singer, bustle their way through the crowd to you almost as soon as you arrive, leaving very little time for you to feel so awkward that you consider running away again. Jimin, in all his spritely and extravagant blue haired disposition, wastes no time in engulfing you both in a comforting hug as if months hadn’t passed since you’ve last seen them.

“Glad you guys could make it!” Jin smiles from over Jimin’s shoulder.

“It’s been forever,” Jimin affirms.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Dahyun says. “I’m surprised you guys didn’t forget about us, considering you’re big rockstars now.”

“Rockstar is a bit of an overstatement.” An effortlessly charming smirk unfurls on Jimin’s face, which seems to immediately dazzle Dahyun. “Besides, we could never forget you. Hey, come with me to find the guys. I think we could all use some time to catch up━”

He places his hand on the small of Dahyun’s back as he guides her away, leaving you with Jin. A moment of silence passes, in which time you can feel the boy’s eyes lingering on you.

“He knows you’re coming tonight, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jin says carefully, treading over his words lightly. It’s too painfully obvious who he’s talking about, though you’re fortunate he doesn’t bother mentioning Jungkook’s name anyway. “There’s no point in hiding. I think you should talk to him.”

“I━” You trail off uselessly, your voice croaking. Fearing an imminent breakdown, you shake your head. Then, holding your chin a little higher, Jin’s startled to hear you pretend as if he hadn’t said anything. “It really is good to see you guys again. If you’ll excuse me, I think I need a drink.”

And you’re gone once more before he can say anything else. On your lonesome, you find refuge at the bar, though you only order water because you’re certain you won’t be able to stomach anything stronger. You don’t know how long you spend there, blankly staring at a spot on the wall as your mind wanders everywhere and yet nowhere at all until━

“Y/N?”

There it is again. The familiar sound of his voice, only this time it’s much more attainable, closer to your world and not elsewhere so high in the clouds like a hopeful dream. You brace yourself before turning to face him.

This close, Jungkook looks breathtakingly and painfully beautiful.

As always, he’s adorned in all black, the first few buttons of the silky blouse he’s wearing left undone so that it teases the exposed flesh of his collarbones and the rose tattoo that inks his chest, the thorny stems crawling up the side of his neck just below his ear, accompanied by a pair of leather pants. He’s the same as ever. The same imperfect tattoos that decorate his fingers and arms that you’ve always loved, the same ring-clad fingers painted a chipped black, the same hoop accentuating his button nose. His hair is still his natural dark ebony color (something he’s seemed to stick with much more as of late despite dyeing it wild colours throughout his past), only it’s a little longer than you last remembered, and the sides of his head are shaved in the form of an undercut. You’re foolishly surprised to find he still looks the same, but almost a year away from someone can both change nothing and yet everything all at once.

“Jungkook…” You want to say something more, but your words fall short.

It’s hard to tell if he’s angry or upset at seeing you there, but you don’t think he’s either, and you have an inkling of a thought that he purposely sought you out amongst the many faces. Instead, he looks hesitant, apprehensive, as if dreading how you’ll respond to see him. As if you’ll yell at him, push him away. You do neither, fortunately.

Just when the dense silence starts to become almost unbearable, Jungkook clears his throat. “I━ Wow… You look great.”

You blink once, a flustered blush warming your face that you hope he doesn’t notice. “Oh. Thank you. You do, too.”

His eyes flicker over your presence as he nods absentmindedly. Then, he’s offering you a pretty smile, soft and sweet in nature. No malice, or ill-intent. “Um━ How have you been?”

You hate this. You hate the awkward pauses, the prolonged periods of silence. A year ago, even despite knowingly pining for one another, your moments alone with Jungkook were never so terrible. He always found a way to say something cheekily flirtatious even when you were just friends, if only because he knew it would make you blush and giggle because, no matter how many times you would roll your eyes or nudge his sides, he also knew you secretly loved it. All the inside jokes, the milestones shared together, the ardent fleeting touches ━ where did it all go? And while you were both noticeably trying to maintain the peace and pleasantry between one another, it didn’t feel the same. It felt forced, fake. Distracted.

“I’ve been good,” You lie. “How about you? Actually, don’t answer that━” You let out a breathless chuckle. “You’ve clearly been doing amazing. I mean, your album, and your world tour. And tomorrow you’ve got a big day with the hometown show. I heard it sold out in the first ten minutes.”

“Something like that,” Jungkook says modestly. “It’s been kind of crazy. Namjoon says it’s good, but I miss━ I just miss a lot of how it used to be. The slow pace. I dunno. The quick burn up is quick to burn out, right?”

“Maybe,” You admit. “But I think you’ve all got it in you. You’ve worked so hard for this moment. Enjoy it while you’re in it. You deserve it, Jungkook.”

His stare softens as it meets yours. “Thanks.”

Another beat of silence passes. He looks as if he’s warring with himself, as if he’s fighting the urge to say something more, gnawing at his lower lip, brows knitting together.

“Yo, Jeon!” A foreign voice from amongst the crowd beckons aloud abruptly for the boy.

Jungkook glances over his shoulder swiftly in search of the source, then waves his hand as if to motion he’ll be there later. Then, he turns back to you. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I won’t keep you,” You say. “I know you’re busy.”

“But━” He stops himself, his jaw clamping shut. Changing his mind, he decides to ask hopefully, “Will you be at the show tomorrow?”

“Of course.” The affirmation seems to relieve him, even though it’s a spontaneous decision made by you on the spot. Before this moment, you hadn’t been so sure you could go.

“Promise?”

You can’t help but shake your head, a chuckle slipping past your lips at the innocent boyish question he asks. “Yes, Jungkook.”

His smile widens a little more, however sheepish it may be. “Then can you promise me one more thing?”

“What?” You quirk a brow, intrigued to say the least.

“Will you drop by the hotel we’re staying at tomorrow morning, so I can take you out for a coffee? Just to catch up. It’s been a while,” he says timidly. Then, feeling a little stupid for being so bold, scrambles to explain himself. “And no pressure if you don’t want to. I just thought━”

You can’t possibly say no. Not when it comes to Jungkook, all your past struggles seemingly vanishing without a trace. “I’d like that a lot, Jungkook.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Then he’s positively beaming, his self-indulgent grin making your own heart flutter in your chest. When he leaves your side that night, you find yourself looking forward to the future perhaps a little too optimistically. But how terrible could grabbing coffee with your ex be, if you had survived the first wretched encounter?

So, in the morning when you wake, there’s not a stutter in your step or a wavering flicker of your confidence as you make your way to the Four Seasons hotel Jungkook had told you to from the night before. In fact, a selfish part of you almost thinks that maybe things will start to look up. That maybe you and Jungkook can finally make amends. That maybe you never had a reason to fear Jungkook breaking your heart if he made such an effort to heal it.

The hotel itself is one of the most luxurious ones in Seoul, a considerable contrast from when the boys were slumming it on friends’ couches and in their run-down van touring the country. The room Jungkook tells you to meet him at is one of the hotel’s grand suites, located on the higher levels of the building. But as soon as you reach the landing and have begun making your way towards the designated door, it flings open and a pretty girl comes stumbling out. She’s giggling at something that has just happened inside, her hair a dishevelled mess which she ruffles up in an attempt to fix it. She’s adorned in a pretty little dress, the skirt of which is hiked a little higher up and one strap falling down her shoulder, as she clings her shoes and bag to her chest. She smiles at you on the way past, though she’s too far gone in her own little daze that you wonder if she even notices you at all.

But you certainly notice her, and, all at once, your reverie of him and what could be comes crashing to the ground once more.

Maybe you should have stayed, should have waited for Jungkook to let him explain, but you were too afraid to hear an answer you weren’t looking for. You try desperately not to imagine Jungkook loving someone else. You try not to think about him holding her the same way he held you, his lips finding purchase on some other girl. But by trying to avoid the thought, it beckons the unwarranted memories of how it felt to be loved all over by him once upon a time. You wonder how many girls he’s hooked up with in your time apart, and the overwhelming sense of regret washes over you.

You don’t bother to wait. You know fleeing is the easiest option rather than facing your fear, but you’re far too timid of rejection again. Instead, even before you can approach Jungkook’s hotel room and knock on the door, you turn on your heels and run.

You’re long gone by the time Jungkook comes to the door, prying it open in search of you on a whim. When he doesn’t see you, he glances up and down the hallway but to no avail. Namjoon comes slinking past inside then in his own disoriented haze, having just woken up from moments ago when the girl he had taken back to their room the night before left. Even then, Jungkook had warned the rhythm guitarist against bringing the girl back, pointing out the fact that they had much to do today ahead of their concert. Namjoon had promised it wouldn’t be long, that she would be gone in the morning, and Jungkook was fortunate enough that the suite had two separate bedrooms on the opposite ends of one another so that Jungkook didn’t have to hear whatever it was the pair were doing in the other.

“Did Mina leave?” Namjoon asks through a yawn, digging the heels of his palms into his tired eyes. When Jungkook nods, a sliver of a reminiscent smug grin tugs at Namjoon’s lips. “You missed out, Jungkook.”

The cheeky quip is met with a roll of Jungkook’s eyes. “I’m sure I’ll survive. You know I’m not like that.”

Like that━ As in midnight hook-ups and cheap thrills alike. He tried it once, far ago when you had first broken up with him, on a drunken spur of a moment as a way of healing the anguish in his heart. It hadn’t worked then; he assumed it would never work.

Namjoon seems to understand this immediately. He gives Jungkook a look that the boy doesn’t notice. “Well… is Y/N here yet?”

“No. But I’m sure she’ll be here,” Jungkook grimaces. He hopes. “Something probably came up.”

Namjoon clasps a reassuring hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, humming aloud, “Good luck, dude.”

But you never arrive, even though Jungkook waits for most of the morning, nervous eyes flickering to the door at every commotion outside, running to check only to see room service delivering breakfast or concierge showing guests to their rooms. He has no choice but to give up on the thought of you coming when Jin knocks on their door, prompting the boys to get a start on their day. Interviews and soundcheck await, but how could he possibly go on with his life without knowing what happened to you?

Which is why you stay on his mind for the rest of the day, distracting him in every aspect, mixing up his words when he’s in the midst of his interview, tripping up on stage as the boys set up and begin to rehearse. As the hours wane down to just an hour before the show, the thought of performing in front of thousands of fans starts to make him nervous and he doesn’t know why. He’s done this countless times before, almost nightly during the tour, so what stops him now? Of course he knows the answer, had grown all too accustomed to the feeling the first few months in which the break up had been so recent. It would always be about you.

But just before the show starts, Jungkook is making his way backstage from the greenroom, where the band had been waiting, to the stage. Fiddling with his in-ear piece, he almost doesn’t notice you and Dahyun weaving your way through the roadies and sound tech, being guided by Jin to the pit on the side of the stage where only family and friends are allowed. You don’t see him, and there’s a split moment where he thinks he should just let you go, until he doesn’t.

As he makes his way to you, the tour manager for the band intervenes part way, shouting out to the boy. “Where are you going? We’re on in five, Jungkook!”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back━” He waves the manager off as politely as he can, wasting no time to chase after you. He calls out your name, though it drowns out in the sound of the music being blasted through the speakers of the arena and the screaming fans. “Y/N, wait up!”

He’s relieved when he sees you stop in your tracks, turning to face him as Dahyun and Jin become lost in the chaos of the backstage. He comes to stand just before you, smiling breathlessly at you, unaware of the way your shoulders tense at the sight of him.

“You didn’t show up this morning,” he says as a way of greeting, his voice a curious prob. “What happened?”

You try desperately not to get lost in his big beautiful eyes, laced with such hope. Instead, you fold your arms over your chest, looking away. “Something came up.”

It’s then that Jungkook senses something is wrong. You’re upset with him, though he can’t tell why. Aside from the obvious rift in your relationship that had initially split you two up, you had been so pleasant to see him the night before. But he doesn’t give up just yet. “Well… you’re here now.”

You meet his gaze with your own hardened one. “For the boys.”

A shot right to his heart almost makes Jungkook gasp for air. He flinches, and then his stare softens, and you wish he wouldn’t look at you like that, out of fear that you might just relapse into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” He closes the distance between the two of you. He wants nothing more than to reach out and touch you, but refrains with much difficulty. There’s dozens of things that could be wrong, and he braces himself for your retaliation. “You didn’t want to come, did you?”

When you don’t respond, but also don’t stray from his side, Jungkook hurries to speak again if only to fill the tense silence.

“Look, last night… Maybe it was just me, but last night seemed like things were okay,” he says. “Was I wrong to feel that way?”

“Jungkook…”

“Please, just let me know,” he begs. “Because you’re all I can think about these days, it’s driving me crazy. And I don’t know what’s going on, but the reason I wanted to see you this morning was because I hate how things ended between us, and I wanted to tell you…” He swallows nervously as he trails off uncertainly. “I wanted to tell you that I’m still in love with you. And I can’t get you out of my head. These months away from you made me realize that I━”

Suddenly, you’re shaking your head and he knows you don’t believe him. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets saying it, if only because they seem to enliven you. Now, you push yourself away from the boy. “I’m not doing this right now. You’re not doing this right now.”

As if to further your point, the band’s tour manager can be heard calling out frantically for the boy. “Two minutes, Jungkook!”

But Jungkook is hardly paying attention now, instead solely focused on you. “Please, Y/N━”

“No, you don’t get to say that to me,” You admonish hotly. You can’t bite the words back, no matter how hard you try. “You don’t love me. You think you love me, but you don’t.”

His jaw clenches, and his brows furrow into a frustrated stare. “I do.”

“You don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Stop.” The harsh word makes Jungkook clamp his mouth shut. You shake your head furiously, but you know it’s only to distract yourself so that you don’t let the tears fall. “You’re being selfish, Jungkook. You don’t get to take all of me, love all of me, and leave, only to come back months later and pretend you’re still in love with me. And whatever this━” You gesture vaguely between the two of you, “is, or was, doesn’t exist anymore. We both need to stop pretending otherwise.”

Jungkook winces, eyes tinged with pain. “You don’t mean that.”

You don’t respond. Elsewhere, his tour manager starts to grow impatient, scolding the boy aloud, “Jungkook, we’re gonna be late. Hurry up!”

“Yeah, I’ll be there!” Jungkook calls back, irritated. Maybe he is being selfish. He’s wasting precious time by not leaving, all the hard work that the crew put into tonight’s show, and the fans awaiting his and the band’s arrival. He can still hear the crowd, this time their buzzing voices amalgamating into unanimous chanting muffled by the walls that sounds akin to the band’s name.

“You should go,” You say now. “Don’t wanna disappoint them.”

But he’d throw it all away for you if you told him to. He promised you that even before he had left for tour, before the band had been signed. Had you forgotten? Because he surely hadn’t.

“Y/N…”

“Good luck out there.”

Then, you’re gone before Jungkook can even make a move to stop you ━ but even if he did, what could he do to make you stay? The feat seemed impossible, and you always seem to find a way to slip from his grasp no matter what he does. Only this time he has no choice but to let you go, out of fear of being berated further by his tour manager or angering the boys so much to the point where he gets kicked out of the band.

He makes it on stage in time, the band filing out to take their places one at a time, deafening screams blowing out their in-ear pieces that stand no chance as each member joins the stage. The lights fizzle out until complete darkness cloaks the venue, but Jungkook still looks for you. He finds you in the pit on the side of the stage, Jin and Dahyun standing beside you, and finds it hard to keep his eyes off of you even though you attempt to pretend as if he’s not even there.

After their first adrenaline-filled opening song of the night, Jimin takes to the microphone to greet the crowd who scream back an indiscernible shout as, elsewhere, you notice Jungkook pry himself away from the microphone stand on his side of the stage to wave the rest of the boys over to Hoseok’s drum kit. They murmur amongst themselves briefly, though they go unnoticed by Jimin or the crowd as the lead singer entertains them.

“Seoul! It’s good to be back. We’ve missed you all so much━”

Jimin’s words get cut short when Jungkook, having just parted ways with the rest of his members for their impromptu meeting, beckons the lead singer over, out of range of the microphone. They seem to discuss something just as shortly as Jungkook had talked with the rest of the boys, in which time Jimin nods understandingly, then steps away from the microphone. Then, Jungkook takes to the microphone, the rings on his fingers glistening under the spotlight as he grips the stand.

“I know the night’s only getting started,” Jungkook’s voice wavers as he speaks, “but we’re gonna slow things down for a moment. We hope you don’t mind.”

Intrigued murmurs echo around the crowd, suddenly buzzing with excitement as they watch Jungkook with eager eyes. A few encouraging bellows has Jungkook smiling smally. Jin, on the other hand, looks perplexed.

“What is he doing?” Jin asks no one in particular, a quizzical look on his face. “This isn’t part of their set.”

“I think a lot of you might know this next song,” Jungkook continues, “but I don’t think I’ve ever expressed how much it means to me. This next one, I wrote for a special someone, and it sort of helped us achieve all of this. So, I think it’s time that person knows how much they mean to me.”

Jungkook glances nervously over at the boys standing behind him, each in their own respective spots. Then, sweeping his gaze across the crowd, he finally finds you already staring up at him. His own eyes soften into a look of longing, however hardened by past tribulations and sorrow it may be. As if he’s determined not to lose you again; determined to make it up to you.

“This next one is for Y/N,” he says timidly. He has to turn away from you in the next second, afraid he might just break down before the fans and the boys and you. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

As the boys take their place, with Jimin taking an acoustic and fading back from the limelight, you wonder why. But then you hear it, the familiar beginning chords making up the song you had so wholeheartedly claimed you hated. Only this time they’re gentler, made up of acoustic strums of a guitar, Hoseok’s drums, and Yoongi’s keys, all amalgamating into a pretty song almost unrecognizable.

Then, Jungkook starts singing, and what was once a wistful dreamy song of prospective lovers suddenly turns into a melancholic requiem for you. Some lyrics are changed, present tense turning to the past, and Jungkook sings his way throughout the entirety of the song in contrast to the one that plays all over the radio featuring the other member’s voices. The fans sing along, their voices melding with Jungkook’s into some sort of celestial mellifluous choir, and you’re left no longer wondering if the fans would ever know the meaning behind the song that Jungkook had brought to life. Because now, it wasn’t just Jungkook singing to you; it was the whole world. And yet, paradoxically at the same time, it felt all that much more intimate. As if it were just you and him once again, seated on the couch in his small apartment, listening to the beginnings of what would be their number one selling song.

Above all else, you realize that you don’t seem to hate the song as much you claimed to.

That night, you can’t sleep.

You find yourself leaving the venue earlier than everyone else, even when the boys invite you and Dahyun to join them for celebratory drinks, returning to your home in the hopes of forgetting the night altogether. Instead, you stay up tossing and turning, your mind filled with memories consisting of only Jungkook and his haunting voice singing to you, and for you. But at some point during the night nearing one or two in the morning, just when you give up on the idea of sleep, the sound of incessant knocking at your front door rouses you from your trance.

When you finally answer the door, you’re more than surprised to see that Jungkook stands on the other side of the threshold as if coming to you from a dream. But then you register the fact that he’s a complete mess. Dark circles line his weary eyes, now smudged with that faint hint of charcoal liner he had worn for the concert, hair so messily mused beyond repair, and you notice quickly that he’s crying, fresh tears glazing over his pupils and streaking down his face. It’s startling to see him in such shambles, a complete contrast to how effortlessly charming and confident he usually portrays himself. But though you’ve seen him cry before on various occasions, now is all the more unsettling.

“I━I’m sorry.” It’s the first thing he says, screwing his eyes shut tightly as he shakes his head. He fumbles over his words, slurring them together in his rush to get them out. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but I needed to see you.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No, no, I swear━” He pries his eyes open to meet your desolate stare, tears unabashedly falling from his lashes. His voice thins with desperation. “You said we need to stop pretending, but I’m not pretending. I never have been. And if you think ━ if you truly believe ━ that there’s nothing here between us anymore… Tell me. Right here, right now. And I’ll leave you alone forever, you’ll never have to see me again. I just━ I’ve missed you every moment and it kills me.”

You’re silent for a long period, pitying gaze sweeping over him, but he doesn’t care if he looks insane. He just needs you to know how he feels.

“Well, how do you think I felt?” You ask the question carefully, but then the memories come flooding back and the semblance of a scowl forms on your face. “You leave and suddenly everywhere I look I see you. Your song is playing everywhere, you and the guys are everywhere, and I’m reminded every day about how we ended. About how you left me.”

Jungkook blinks. He shakes his head stubbornly, the nerves in the corner of his jaw fluttering as he grits his teeth. “You were the one who said we should take a break.”

“A break!” You snap sternly. “Fuck, Jungkook. I didn’t want you out of my life forever. I wanted you to fight for me.”

“No, don’t put this all on me,” Jungkook pleads helplessly. “I have always fought for you. But the minute things got rough, you bailed. You told me you never wanted to see me again. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“I was scared!” You try to swallow the tears away that start to form as a lump in your throat but to no avail. “I was, and I still am, so fucking scared of losing you. And you━ It felt like you gave me no choice. Like you were over it. I would have wanted to make things work but you left. You just… You left, and suddenly it was like you were never in my life at all. Seven months, and I get no word from you.”

“I fucked up, okay!” He cries out so suddenly, it silences you at once. He bites at his lip, and straightens up half-heartedly, running a hand through his hair. When he meets your stare this time, he’s zealous yet sincere. “I know that I messed up. I know. And it fucking kills me every single day. I don’t know where it went wrong, but it did, and I know it’s all my fault. When you said we should take a break and I agreed, I was only thinking about you. Because I knew I was disappointing you every day, and I was afraid that was all I would ever do, and you don’t deserve that. I thought it would be better this way, if I was just gone from your life for good. But I can’t forget you.”

“How can I trust you?” You ask. When his pained stare gawks at you, you tilt your chin a little higher. “I came by your hotel room yesterday morning, just like you asked, only to see that girl leaving.”

Jungkook’s gawk turns into a dumbfounded expression. He looks weary as he shakes his head, as if struggling to keep up with the way you accuse him now. He tries not to focus on the fact that you actually came to the hotel, then feels inconsolably terrible when he realizes why he never got to see you. “That girl was Namjoon’s fling. We were sharing the suite, and they were in a whole other room. I didn’t even think about her━”

Your stare droops from him, and he knows he’s struggling to keep you on his side.

“Okay, fine. You want trust? I’ll give it to you,” he says. A newfound sense of confidence seems to possess him, though he approaches the topic with extra caution anyway. “After we broke up, I was crushed. I couldn’t move on from you, and the guys thought I should get drunk, find a random girl to bring back to our hotel one night on tour. And I listened, because I wanted to forget you, but it didn’t work. All I could think about was you. Every time she touched me, every time she kissed me, I could only imagine it was you. And when she left that night, I broke down because I felt like such a fucking idiot. I instantly regretted it. Like, even though you and I weren’t together, I still did something to hurt you by sleeping with that girl. And all it did was hurt me too in the process.”

He pushes himself forward, taking a step over the threshold. Even despite him admitting his wrongs to you, you can’t find it in yourself to hate him. Because, at the end of it all, he’s here at your doorstep, pleading for you to forgive him, but he had already won the moment your eyes had landed on him.

“You’re the reason I am who I am today.” His voice is hoarse when he speaks, almost in a whisper. “That I get to do what I love for a living. But all of it means nothing without you. You saw me at my worst, and my best. And you were the best I ever had, and I ruined it, and the worst part of it all is that there’s nothing I can do to make up for it. But I promise I can make it better ━ I can make it right again ━ if you just give me a chance.”

There’s a short pause filled with poignant silence in which Jungkook thinks you’ll push him away or scream at him. He’s fortunate when you do neither; instead, he hears you whisper faintly.

“Kiss me, Jungkook.”

And it’s more than enough for him. His heart thrums in delight as he wastes no time in reaching out for you. His hands are warm as they come to grasp at your face, holding you delicately; then he’s leaning in to you, drawing you closer and closer until his lips are pressed against yours. It’s unadulterated, but not without feverish passion, noses smushing together in both your eager hastiness to close the distance between the two of you. It doesn’t last long either, though that’s partly because Jungkook can taste your tears mingling on your lips, and can feel your faint smile form against his mouth. Kissing him feels both foreign yet familiar at the same time. You know the feel, the taste, and the sense of comfort that comes with it, but months apart from one another has left it feeling different.

Jungkook’s thumb wipes away at the tears on your face. “Why are you crying?”

It’s a useless question, he knows, but he needs something to fill the silence. He’s relieved when he hears you snicker. “Because I miss you, you idiot. And I’m sorry I’ve been acting like such an idiot. I’ve messed everything up.”

His own shoulders quiver with contented mirth. “It’ll be okay.” As he leans in once more for another kiss, you can feel him murmur against your mouth, “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Then make it right,” You say, “right here and now.”

“I’ll do anything for you,” he promises earnestly.

Jungkook understands the underlying yearning in your voice even without having you explain yourself. He knows, if only because he can feel it too. As his hands fall to your waist, fingers digging into your skin, your own arms wrap around his neck and pull him into your apartment. He has you pressed up against the nearest wall within seconds, kissing at your throat, then up to your jawline.

“It’s been so long,” he sighs.

You hum in agreement, though your mind is already spinning, and all you can muster is a weak yet urgent croak of his name. “Jungkook.”

Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging at the roots and he croons with delight. His lips finally meet yours again, only this time he lets his tongue lav at your lower lip. Almost as soon as he does so, you notice something strange. It takes a moment for you to register the small metallic object that grazes your lower lip but when you do, you pull away from the boy.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks in a confused dazed.

“Is that…” You rasp. “Did you get your tongue pierced?”

Suddenly, Jungkook is smirking, one brow shooting up to his hairline in a smug demeanour. He sticks out his tongue for you to see the silver ball poking through and you almost moan at the sight of it as the thought entices you.

“Oh.” Your face warms with a flustered blush. “That’s new.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Always wanted to get it done. Guess I was saving it for the right moment.”

“Right moment, huh?” You scoff as if the implications don’t already have your thighs rubbing together. “Care to explain?”

“I think you’ll find out soon enough.”

You dissolve into a fit of giggles, marvelling at the way Jungkook’s familiar flirtatious bantering can soothe your troubled heart at once. It’s almost as if time hasn’t lapsed between the two of you.

“I’ve missed this,” You sigh. “I’ve missed you, Jungkook.”

You spot him smiling before he’s kissing you again, this time his tongue slipping past your parted lips to meet yours midway. The piercing is strange to adjust to, but you get used to it quickly, humming at the feeling of it against the soft flesh of your tongue. It’s easy to get lost in one another’s lips as you pull and tug at Jungkook, guiding him to your bedroom, nearly tripping and stumbling over one another in the process. He knows the path like the back of his hand, the same way he knows every curve and dimple of your body as his greedy hands explore you. He has you sprawled out beneath him on the bed in a matter of seconds, carelessly shedding each other of your clothes until you’re left naked and he’s without a shirt.

As he’s tugging off the hoodie you’re wearing, he realizes two things abruptly. One: you’re not wearing anything beneath it, your bare body dazzling him at once. And, two: a sudden thought jogs his memory that makes him ponder aloud, “Is this my sweater?”

“Yes,” You admit sheepishly.

He smirks. “Was wondering where it went.”

“You forgot to take it back when…” You don’t finish your sentence. Instead, you tug your fingers at the hair at the nape of his neck, as if scared he’ll leave again. He doesn’t. Instead, he nestles his body between your legs, tonguing patterns on your neck. “I wear it sometimes, especially when I’m missing you. I don’t know… It just━ It still smells like you, even after all this time.”

Jungkook’s heart nearly implodes. He wonders briefly if he’d prefer fucking you without or with the hoodie; but then he’s letting himself time to study your naked body and he deduces he needs to gaze at you in your entirety a little longer.

“Keep talking,” he murmurs. He starts kissing down your body now, starting from your throat to your collarbones, between the valley of your breasts, then your navel. “Tell me more. How badly did you miss me?”

“So badly,” You whimper. Your legs instinctively part to make way for him as he shifts downward, kissing just above your core. A shudder runs down your spine when he kisses the inside of your thigh. “Sometimes I’d put your sweater on and touch myself to the thought of you.”

He grunts against you, teeth softly biting at your flesh. His tongue pokes against your thigh, the metallic piercing a dully cold sensation as he licks upward to your core. He laps at your folds, as if to taste the glistening cum that starts to form.

Your breath audibly hitches in your throat, hips jutting forward to meet his mouth. “I missed your hands, and the way they made me feel. Missed your mouth between my legs. Missed cumming on your tongue, or your fingers.”

Now, you’re starting to understand what he meant by waiting for the right moment to use the piercing to its fullest potential. As he lifts his head higher to tongue at your clit, the piercing makes your head spin. The contrast between his soft tongue and the harsh metal works wonders against you, rubbing you just the right way that has you a moaning mess beneath him within a matter of seconds.

“Fuck━” You cry out, hands twisting in his hair. “My hands never feel the same. You always made me feel so good, Jungkook.”

He hums something in response, the sound reverberating up your spine. He busies himself by replacing his tongue with his finger, rubbing small, controlled circles against your clit as he lowers his mouth to your folds. He teases the piercing against the sensitive flesh before lapping at your insides, burrowing further into you.

“Ooh, Jungkook━”

The noise that eclipses your throat is a piqued sob of delight. The piercing that scratches against your walls has your insides throbbing, body twisting and turning beneath him. You grab at your breasts, fingers pinching at the perked buds as you imagine Jungkook’s hands in replace of yours.

His mouth wraps just right around you and he sucks hard, earning a beautiful moan from you. It doesn’t take long for you to draw closer to your high, sputtering and whimpering at every action he does. Soon he’s burrowing his face even closer against your core, nose nudging against your clit in a way that makes you writhe and squirm. Before he can get carried away (and he certainly could), Jungkook decides to come to a stop which seems to thoroughly surprise and upset you. When you feel his missing warmth between your legs and the sticky wet mess accentuated further by the cool air that hits you, you pout like a child.

“That’s not fair,” you whine.

“Sorry, baby. Need to feel you.” He pulls away from you and crawls over your body once more. He kisses your lips, sloppy and heated, and lets you taste your own succulence on your tongue. “God, I need to feel you so bad.”

You’re just as much startled as you were seconds ago to hear the slight whine in his voice, a sound hot enough to almost push you over the edge.

“I’ve missed you too, just so you know,” he moans, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. Your fingers continue to scratch delicately at his scalp and he simpers delightfully against you. He ruts his hips eagerly against yours, the bulge in his pants rough against your core. “So fucking much.”

“How much?” Now it’s your turn to ask, your curiosity getting the best of you once you find your voice.

“Every day,” he sighs as he continues to grind his hips into yours. “Get so hard at the thought of you. Your pretty mouth moaning my name. Your hands in my hair, just like this━” You pull a little tighter at the roots of his locks, and he has to stifle his contented moan. “And your body━ Fuck, your body. You take my dick so well, baby.”

“Jungkook,” You mewl impatiently. “Wanna feel you in me.”

“Fuck, okay. Okay━”

He hastens to rid himself of his pants and you help, arms momentarily tangling with one another in your rush. Then he’s kneeling before you, one hand planted firmly on your hip, rings digging roughly against your skin, as his other hand wraps a fist around his hard length, slowly pumping himself. He guides the tip of his leaking cock to your core and pushes himself forward carefully. He easily slips past your folds, coaxed by your slick walls, that he has to pause to give you both time to adjust to the feeling. It’s just as he remembered, though somehow better, and he isn’t so sure how long he’ll last. You don’t know either, marvelling in the way he stretches you open.

“Oh, shit,” he grunts.

He watches as your jaw drops open in a silent gap, your eyes fixed only on his. You grab at his hips, fingers scratching delicately over the laurel tattoos inked there, prompting him to move. He does so in one languid movement, burying deeper and deeper into you until you feel so full and he feels so warm. He fucks into you a little sluggish at first, taking his time and enjoying the way your clenching walls feel around his throbbing cock. It’s a pace so maddening that it soon has the both of you panting, heavy moans filling the space around you. Your own fingers dig into his shoulders, his back, his hips ━ anything to keep a hold on reality as you slowly lose yourself to the pleasure. He reaches for one of your hands, eager to feel you in more ways than one, and laces his digits with yours, pressing your clasped palms above your head. You squeeze tightly, his name falling from your lips in a cry.

“Doing so good,” he mumbles through gritted teeth. “Feel so nice, baby.”

Jungkook grasps at your hips and flips the two of you over. He lands on his back on the soft mattress and you fumble to not break the pace. Firmly planting your hands on his chest, you grind against him, sweat coating your forehead. He watches you with a dark fascination, brows screwed together and jaw clenched as your own cum starts leaking down his length. Not wanting to waste another moment without being beside you, he sits up and shifts you in his lap. Then he pulls you close to him, chest pulled flush against chest to the point where he can feel the rapid beat of your heart against his. You whimper aloud, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck as he guides your hips back and forth on him. There’s little to no space between your gyrating bodies, sweaty skin sticking to one another.

At some point, Jungkook notices you’re crying again, steady tears tangling in your lashes and wetting your face. Despite the way you’re driving him to near euphoria, he brushes your hair out of your face and manages to ask, “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m sorry━ fuck,” You gasp. He can tell you’re genuinely sympathetic for whatever’s making you cry but it’s hard for you to convey it properly when you’re still so consumed by him. “I’m so sorry━ I’m okay. I just━ You feel so good, Jungkook.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers, rubbing tender circles against your waist that contrasts with the fierce burn between your legs. “You’re okay, baby. Doing so well for me, aren’t you? Cum for me, yeah?”

You won’t tell him why you’re crying ━ not yet, at least. But Jungkook thinks he knows why; he can feel it too. The bitter sense of longing and mingling regret for all the time lost. The overwhelming feeling of love of finally being reunited. You continue to roll your hips against his, and he, breathless, rubs his nose faintly against yours, resting his forehead against yours.

It doesn’t take much longer after that for you to come tumbling to you high. He strokes your hair so lovingly as you ride him recklessly, leisure rolls of your hips driving you to your high. When you cum, the feeling completely washes over you and electricity crackles in your veins, warming your entire body. He holds you close to his chest the entire time as you writhe with pleasure, your walls clenching around his cock.

“Fuck, I’m gonna━” His voice splinters off as you busy yourself by sucking a bruise onto the underside of his jaw.

He reaches his high moments later just as you’re beginning to wince at the feeling of oversensitivity. He grunts and groans, spilling his hot seed into you, and then, with his hips slammed against yours, grinds leisurely to ride out your highs.

Then, the room falls silent.

Neither of you move from your warm embrace, with you still perched on his lap, his cock softening inside you as his cum runs down his length and onto your thighs. Your face is hidden in the crook of his neck, and he waits until you’ve both calmed down from your orgasms. You’re running your fingers through his sweaty hair, but he knows you’re still sad. He kisses you all over in the meantime, a few ticklish kisses that make you smile sleepily and a few loving ones that have your heart swelling. Then, he gingerly shifts your head to look at him.

“Why were you crying?” he asks silently.

It takes you a moment to respond. You cling to him tightly when you do and all he can do is cradle you closer to him. “I don’t want this to be some kind of drunken one night stand thing. Like we both needed one last fuck to get over each other, or something."

“You mean more to me than a one night stand,” Jungkook says and it makes you smile smally, a little timidly.

“That’s good,” You say, “because I’m not over you or us. I want us to work out. I love you too much to lose you again, and I’m scared this might be the last time I’ll ever see you.”

“I’m not letting that happen,” Jungkook shakes his head furiously. “I’d be an absolute idiot to let that happen. You won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere this time. You’re my priority, Y/N. You always have been. Not the band and definitely not the record label.”

“I’m sure the boys will love to hear that,” You snort to yourself.

“Yeah, well, I’m sure they’ll understand,” Jungkook grins. But you’re only joking, and you know he sort of is too. That’s not to say the band isn’t still important to him, but you take precedent over it. “Without you, I wouldn’t even have the chance to be where I am now.”

You nuzzle your nose against his own, and he steals one sweet kiss from you.

“Do you really mean all that?”

“With my whole heart.”

And, when he says it, you know he means it. There’s no reason not to trust him.

You’ll both move eventually from one another’s arms, soft touches from Jungkook peeling you off of him and wrapping you in your covers before falling asleep beside you, and waking up in the morning with you in his arms. But, for now, it’s just you and him, a little broken still yet all the more in love.

While you both know healing a broken heart will take time, you’re both prepared for it because you’re both worth it to one another ━ and that’s all either of you really need in the end to make it right.

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

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hakuyeo · 3 years

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– * ; ; “tignan mo lang ang aking mga mata !”

pairing: yang jungwon x reader

genre: fluff (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡, best friends to lovers, jealous jungwon LAWL

a/n: the title is in tagalog but the fic is still english lol!!! it basically just means "look into my eyes only"<3! it's based off a song called "habang buhay" by zack tabudlo!!

a/n: also this is pretty fast-paced lol i'm sorry</333

you sigh for the nth time that day, watching your long time crush from afar with a lovesick gaze. jungwon only rolls his eyes and pouts, suddenly snapping you out of your trance as he speaks. "what's so great about minseo anyway?" you were obviously taken aback by the question, confused as to why he was suddenly acting that way. you hum, thinking about several things you liked about him.

"well, he did help me one time with homework..." you mutter, jungwon groaning in annoyance. "i help you everyday with homework! i wasn't there that day because i was sick!" he complained, making you raise your eyebrow in suspicion. "ah, he bought me snacks that one time i was sad!" you point out, smirking as you saw jungwon burying his face into his hands. "you act as if i don't buy you snacks everyday after school!"

you laugh light-heartedly, brushing off his unusual behavior. you decide not to question him, only thinking that he was acting that way because you both haven't been hanging out lately.

"oi, [y/n]!" you turn to the voice, the owner being minseo. trying to keep your composure, you face him completely and smile. "yo, what's up?" he sends you back a polite smile. "i wanted to know if you wanted to go to the party this friday? i have someone i'd like you to meet." curious, you decided to accept the invitation. though it did give you a bad gut feeling, you decided dragging jungwon with you would be a good idea.

jungwon was never a big fan of parties. he only accepted because it was you who invited him. after getting out of a vehicle, you offered your hand to him and he looks at you with a confused expression. "there's gonna be alot of people." you say, taking his hand with a gentle grip. he just nods, the blaring music from the front already unbearable for him.

you two walk in the loud house and immediately you search for minseo, looking around the crowd. jungwon spots his group of friends in another side of the house, tapping your shoulder and telling her he'd go up to them for a while. she nods and walks up to minseo after she finally spots him, her eyes landing on the girl beside him.

"oh hey [y/n]! meet my girlfriend, ari!" he enthusiastically says. [y/n] could only nervously smile at ari, shaking her hand. "it's very nice to meet you!" you lie through your teeth. the three of you talk casually, though jungwon, who was on another side of the room, noticed your nervous demeanor.

he apologizes to heeseung, who he was previously having a conversation with, and walks towards you. he grabs your hand, pulls you out of the awkward conversation and leads you to a more secluded area. you could only continue to stare at them in grief, letting a few tears finally fall.

jungwon stares at you in pity before mustering up all his courage to gently place a hand on your face. "hey, [y/n]." you look up at him with glistening eyes as he wipes your tears away. "look only at me, okay?" you suddenly felt your heart racing the longer you stared at jungwon.

since the first day of meeting you, jungwon had thought you were the most captivating person he'd ever laid his eyes upon. everything about you was endearing to him, he was convinced at some point you drove him crazy. but right here, right now, even in the most emotional state you're in, he still thinks you're the most stunning person in the world.

he spent several years waiting for you to catch on, and it was an understatement to say he was at his limit. he gulps as he stares momentarily at your lips, eyes nervously looking back and forth.

"jungwon." you quietly speak up. "how long?" he chuckles a bit, hand never leaving your face. "since forever." you tear up in guilt, finally gaining courage to lean up and kiss him. he freezes for a bit before gently kissing you back.

in that moment, all of his problems seemed to fade away. when you both pull away, he continues to stare at you with admiration. "god, i really do love you."

#enhypen au #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #yang jungwon scenarios #jungwon x reader #jungwon fluff #hhhahahaha this is awful im so sorry #anywhas he's just. woww oohhhblord wow. he's. ohhh wow.#yang jungwon x reader

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caramelcal · 3 years

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Request: Luke x reader? Luke tries to distract reader throughout the day (like he did to Julie) especially when she tries to talk to Nick? Which reader gets mad about and starts to ignore Luke (because she’s been trying to distract herself from her growing feels for him) and he eventually poofs into he room to talk to her about it?

Word Count: 2k

a/n: hi! sorry this took so long, instead of sitting down and working on one fic i’ve been working on five at the same time. incredibly stressful, i’ll try not to do that again lol especially considering it meant it took me ages to write them all...also someone pls give me something to name this lmao ty, and thank you for the request!

also just in case anyone asks i will not be making a part 2 sorry ! :(

disclaimer: I do not condone the use of my work/writing without my permission. The only place this has been posted is on my (rosemoonmist) tumblr account. This has not been posted on any other platform either. If you see any plagiarism of my work please let me know! <3 People work hard on their fics, so don’t steal them ty.

Masterlist

“So y/n I was thinking,” Luke starts, popping up out of thin air beside you whilst you walk along the corridors. At his unannounced presence beside you, you jump and let out a surprised squeal, gather attention from other students.

Looking around, you notice all of their stares and a blush coats your cheeks. They couldn’t see Luke, you knew that, so they thought you jumped at nothing and your squeal definitely didn’t help. Your head ducks down in embarrassment, trying to avoid the gazes of the students as you start to hurry to your locker.

“Y/n! I’m trying to talk to you here? Hello!” Luke shouts, following your quick, embarrassed walk to your locker. He leans against the locker beside you, arms crossed over his chest, “Y/n, stop ignoring me please.”

“You know Luke, normal people don’t sneak up on others so you definitely shouldn’t,” You mutter quietly, trying not to attract any more attention from those near you. You had already embarrassed yourself enough, you definitely didn’t need to be caught talking to yourself.

Luke watches you as you get your textbooks from your locker with soft, hazel eyes, shrugging his shoulders before he speaks again, “I don’t see what’s wrong with coming to share my ideas with you.”

“When you practically ambush me in the middle of the halls and embarrass me in front of my classmates then there’s something wrong,” You whisper harshly towards the teenage ghost, who gives you a playful smile in return.

“Don’t worry about it, I think your little scream was cute,” Luke tries to playfully comfort you, but you only end up more embarrassed. Ducking your head, you clear your throat, not meeting Luke’s eyes, “Plus, if I don’t talk to you then who is? Flynn and Julie aren’t here.”

“I have friends other than Julie and Flynn, you know,” You replied with a small smile, rolling your eyes at the boy whose eyes go slightly wider in amusement.

Leaning closer to you, he whispers, “Yeah, one of ‘ems behind you right now.”

With that he pulls back, his amused smirk going wider when he sees your eyes widen in panic. At least he’s getting some enjoyment out of this because you certainly weren’t. It was almost as if you were unfrozen, whipping around after several moments of doing nothing and just standing still to see him there.

“Heyyy y/n,” He says, trying to mask the slightly judgmental look he is giving you but you notice. At this rate, you just want the ground to swallow you whole, melt into the floor or just disappear.

“Nick! Hi,” You say, feeling your throat close up as you look at him. You try to keep your eyes on him, but they quickly stray when Luke appears behind him.

“You alright, L/N?” Nick asks, looking at you strangely with concern etched into his voice.

Waving your hand about weirdly, you nod your head wildly, trying to act natural but very much not. Luke glances at you with a judgmental glance, one that he wants you to see as you laugh, “Of course I am! Why would I not be?”

“I don’t know, you’re just acting a little strange.”

“Me? I’m always strange,” You try to wave it off, hoping that soon enough this nightmare would be over and you could go back home. This has to be the most embarrassing day to ever exist, for anyone. You would give anything just to disappear right now.

“Uh oh,” Luke’s voice sounds from behind Nick, his voice teasing as he looked at you with a smile, “has someone got a crush on Nick?”

“What! No!”

Your eyes snapped over to Luke, his smile growing wider. You know that he’s messing with you, but you couldn’t let him believe you had a crush on Nick of all people. No way. You already liked someone else, Luke, so to let Luke believe that you liked Nick was not going to happen. Your eyes hesitantly look back towards Nick, where he looks at you with a confused look.

You know that you can’t explain you were talking to a ghost, he’d think you were even crazier than you actually were. Giving him an awkward laugh you rub behind your neck, “Sorry, Flynn is across the hall and is trying to be distracting.”

“Flynn isn’t even in scho-”

“Sorry, Nick! Nice talking to you but I gotta go, bye!” Cutting Nick off quickly, you wave your hand before whirling around, walking in the opposite direction. A pair of shoes caught themselves up with you, and you knew who it was. The black and white vans were kind of a giveaway.

“I think that went well.”

“Shut up, Luke.”

. . .

Thankfully, your bad and embarrassing day didn’t get much worse. You managed to get through your first classes without Luke trying to annoy you anymore, which meant that you didn’t embarrass yourself even more and when it came to lunch you holed yourself up in the library. Being in the library meant that there was no one around to embarrass yourself in front of.

Your last class rolled around and you were trying to get your head down and do your work so that you could go home and forget that this day ever happened. It wasn’t going to get much worse than it already is considering the day was practically over, so you were just waiting for the time to pass by.

“Y/n, psst,” You hear a voice whisper from in front of you, making you look up. Maybe you spoke too soon, because there Luke is, sitting on the desk in front of yours, that was thankfully empty.

You knew that Luke just liked to talk to people other than Reggie and Alex from time-to-time and you were normally a good option but not in school. And especially not after the embarrassment that happened earlier on in the morning; that’s why you ignored him.

However, it seemed that Luke really wanted your attention and was willing to do anything to get it. Whether it be constantly talking to you, distracting you from doing your work, or humming new songs, he seemed to be doing anything to be annoying.

“What do you think about this one, n/n?”

Often, you were used to Luke just using your first name, so the sound of your endeared nickname falling off of his lips effortlessly caused your heart to flutter. Luke frowned a little, he knew you were listening, he could see you press your pencil down a little harder on your paper every time he spoke, almost as if you were trying to restrain yourself from answering him.

A smirk lit upon his lips, he knew exactly what to do. Jumping off of the table, he made his way over to your desk, taking the pencil out of your hand. Your eyes went wide but you knew you couldn’t make a big deal about it, imagine they seen you jumping after a floating pencil.

Looking up at Luke, you mouthed ‘Luke, put the pencil down’ with a glare, but Luke simply smirked at you. At this rate, you thought that Luke was just trying to get you grumpy. He brought the pencil down to your level to tease you but you caught onto it, tugging it closer to you.

Luke didn’t seem to want to let go, finally glad to get your attention but it shouldn’t have been a good thing, because he was just angering you even more.

Finally managing to yank the pencil off of Luke, you heard a voice whisper beside you, “Hey y/n, are you planning on actually doing any work, or are you gonna continue to cast spells with your pencil?”

The day definitely couldn’t get worse after that.

. . .

After that, you were determined to ignore Luke by any means necessary, even if he stole a pencil and let the class believe that the class was haunted. Thankfully enough, Luke realized that he shouldn’t push your buttons anymore and left you alone. On your walk home you practically wallowed in self-pity and embarrassment and found yourself swallowed in a hole of blankets and pillows watching a movie when you got into your bedroom.

You did not want to go back to school, and you found yourself dreading it more and more with each passing moment. After Luke realized how embarrassed you were the first time, he should've stopped, but he didn’t. Maybe he just liked to torture you and embarrass you in front of all of your peers.

It was a well-established thing that you liked Luke, not that he knew, of course, you knew he didn’t like you back like that. And after today, you struggled to believe he would ever see you as more; it was like he didn’t care about your feelings.

“Y/n, there you are,” Speak of the devil, “I need opinions on these new lyrics-”

“No, Luke. I’m busy.” You snap, eyes keeping on the screen. You hoped that he took the memo and stopped talking and left, but he didn’t, they never do.

Walking towards your bed, Luke sat beside you and grabs the remote that was tucked in between two blankets, holding it up to you, “No you aren’t, you’re only watching a movie. I’m sure you could stop it for two seconds.”

“What if I don’t want to?” You reply sassily, reaching for more popcorn that sat in the small bowl in front of you.

“What’s up with you?” Luke asks, his voice slightly annoyed as he looks at you. He seems confused like he’s completely oblivious to everything that happened today.

“What do you think is up with me?” You ask, finally turning to look at him, e/c eyes meeting the hazel ones you were so fond of.

Luke stares back at you with the same intensity, eyes looking over your blanket-covered figure before realization dawned on his face. Yet, with the realization, annoyance seemed to follow closely behind, “Is this because I embarrassed you in front of your crush?”

“I don’t have a crush on Nick!” Your voice is slightly louder than you had intended, but you don’t bother to apologize anyway.

Maybe you were both overreacting, and you were getting a little too defensive but you couldn’t help it. Luke didn’t seem to listen to you, you had already told him you didn’t like Nick, couldn’t he just listen to you for once in his life?

“Why are you shouting? I’m just asking a question,” Luke says, his voice calm. You had never expected the day where Luke would be the voice of reason between the two of you but here we are.

Eyes looking back up to meet Luke’s, a frown falls onto your face. Sighing, you feel guilt pool in your stomach, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you.”

“It’s alright, y/n. I shouldn’t have embarrassed you in the first place. I’m really sorry,” You’re pretty sure that’s the first time you have ever heard Luke apologize to anyone, and you’re surprised at how sincere he sounded. Maybe Luke does care about your feelings more than you expected him to.

Soon enough, the calm and comfortable atmosphere you have created in the room because uncomfortable as you both sit in a silence. You don’t know what to say, or what to do but thankfully, Luke saves you from that.

“Listen, I- uh,” Luke hesitates to speak, feeling nervous when your attention is turned back to him. His gaze looks down at the bed before glancing back up, looking very fidgety under your gaze, “I’m sorry for what I did this morning. I don’t know I just seen Nick, and I thought you guys liked each other and I didn’t like it so I embarrassed you in front of him and that’s not okay.”

“You didn’t like it?” You ask with a smirk, quoting what Luke said as your smirk goes a bit wider. Noticing your words, Luke’s eyes go a little bit wider as he starts to stutter but you quickly end his stuttering, “Were you jealous, Patterson?”

It takes him a few moments to respond, your full body turning towards him when you begin to tease him. You had hoped that he was going to get embarrassed in front of you but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

“Maybe I am, what are you gonna do about it?”

#luke julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms #charlie gillespie x y/n #julie and the phantoms x reader #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson #jatp #julie and the phantoms luke #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie #luke jatp #luke patterson x y/n

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jatphatones · 3 years

Text

Fuel to Fire, Water to Tame | One Shot (Alive!Luke Patterson x Reader)

Fuel to Flame, Water to Tame | Oneshot (Alive!Luke Patterson x Reader)

A/N: Finally finished my freaking studying and tests so I’m here to release this lil thing. Idk how I managed to make it a little steamy at the end but we just gonna roll with it lol. Very sweet with a lil make out sesh at the end. Enjoy!

Word count: 2.1k

Warning: swearing, typos, steamy make out ;)

|||||

For a boy who wanted to rule the world with his band and therefore took any chance to talk about it, there’s only been a few times that Luke’s been rendered speechless. One of those times was when Julie introduced her sweet neighbor, Y/N, to the band. The lead singer explained that you always heard them practice and, wanting to know who was responsible, knocked on the Molinas’ door one day. Julie excitedly told her friend about her new band and eagerly invited you to their next rehearsal.

You and Julie have always been friends - not exactly close, but closer than acquaintances. Growing up, you went to private schools and occasionally hung out with Julie during school breaks. Julie never had a problem with you - rather, she always felt peaceful and light whenever her neighbor was around. The singer will always remember when you kept her company at her mom’s wake. You did share your condolences, but instead of leaving or sharing more pitying words, you took a seat beside the grieving girl and held her hand. Where the stares, the sad memories, and the pitiful smiles were too much, the singer appreciated the silent, comforting presence of her friendly neighbor.

“Boys, this is Y/N. She’s my next door neighbor and heard our music from her house.”

“Sorry if we’re being too loud. Are we too loud?” Reggie’s apology quickly falls from his mouth.

“You’re apologizing as if being too loud is a bad thing,” you thoughtfully comment with an amused yet kind smile.

“Well, do you like our loud music?” Luke asks, his mouth quirking up at the cute stranger’s first sentence.

“Now, that’s the question you should be asking.”

And with that quick wit and cheeky smile, Luke saw something in you. Of course, he appreciated your praise after they all introduced themselves (disinterest in his music would be a real turn off). He understood right away that you were a special kind of girl, and you got the feeling that the guitarist would become significant part of your life.

The reasons for your attraction the guitarist were obvious. At first, you were definitely thrown off by the confident boy who came on a little too strong for your liking. He sought after you - shameless flirting and banter always in his back pocket. Luke did what any musician would do - use his music and confidence to charm the girl. It worked to an extent. You were slightly embarrassed, but overall smitten for you had never been someone’s muse. But you were also smart, not naively falling at the first siren note. No, throughout your time with the band, your attraction gradually grew with all the late night conversations, entertaining car rides to and from gigs, and romantic songs. The initial spark from the fateful introduction only grew into a full blown relationship between the unlikely pair.

Everyone knew who Luke was and what he was like. The idea that the guitarist could sit idly and watch the world go by is a ridiculous thought. His passion for music and ambition to rule the world knew no limits. The heart that he so clearly wears on his (lack of) sleeve creates art in the form of lively guitar riffs and beautiful lyrics. The unbridled emotions are channeled through his explosive movements as he rocks the stage with his friends. His love for you carried the same exact energy.

“Y/N, Y/N, babe, if Alex says that drums aren’t for you, then it isn’t for you,” Luke slightly winces at the last bang you produced from behind the drums.

He had no problem poking fun at you, knowing that you never took his jokes seriously. It’s what made your relationship so fun. You throw your arms up in protest, still gripping drumsticks, as if that gesture would dissuade the musicians from their current criticism.

“You can hold a beat, but drumming is a bit more complicated than just stomping your foot. Sorry, Y/N,” Alex apologizes, trying to hide the amusement in his voice.

“Okay, fine, I’m not the best at drumming. But I can learn!” Luke admired the determination despite your reluctant agreement with the drummer’s feedback.

“And I know just the right blonde with impeccable street fashion sense.” He then rolls his eyes at your schmoozing, but found it endearing.

“You know none of us can say no to you. Alright, let’s try this again…”

Another thing - the way you both commanded attention continued to attract you to one another. Whereas Luke’s passion thoroughly radiated like sunlight, your passion was more subtle. Luke blazed so bright, it was almost blinding. However, your passion was hidden in your eyes, constantly simmering, providing a warm hearth for those that you loved. You were silently confident - never an air of arrogance. Your thoughtful demeanor always gave way to both kindness and protectiveness. Although you weren’t as artistically inclined, your fierce loyalty and love for your loved ones always warmed Luke’s heart. You were his biggest supporter and protector, as evidenced by your current predicament.

“I wish I could say I enjoyed that, but then I would be lying,” Carrie, the Dirty Candy lead singer and Julie’s ex-friend snidely comments.

Julie and the Phantoms just finished another successful set at a local gig. It was relatively small theater that was hosting a series of local bands. The crowd was consistently in good spirits with every band, Julie and the Phantoms not excluded from the rowdy joyfulness. All four members bounded off the stage breathless and absolutely ecstatic over the crowd’s energy. You and Flynn excitedly met them side stage, jumping excitedly for their friends. Julie barrels down Flynn with a hug while Luke twirls his girlfriend around. Alex and Reggie let out loud cheers, trying to let off some steam from their performance. Luke just finished taking your breath away with a passionate kiss when Carrie distracts the group with her rude remark.

“You know what Carrie? Why don’t you take your little Barbie dolls and bother someone else,” Julie shoots back, waving off the girl group before crossing her arms. Flynn rested a hand on her hip and popped it out with a noise of agreement. The boys stood behind the girls, slowly coming down from their adrenaline high as they witness another showdown between the ex-friends.

Carrie scoffs and rolls her eyes before mimicking Julie’s stance. “So, who did you have to bribe to get a gig here? There’s no way you made it on the setlist without help.” She tilts her head, mocking feign interest. You roll your eyes and steps up next to Julie.

“That’s rich coming from you.” Your eyes blaze as you stare down the blonde singer.

“Excuse me?” Carrie’s shocked expression is mirrored by your own group of friends. You never confronted people, perfectly content in watching your friends handle any situations, especially with Carrie. You were more about deescalating arguments and settling for calm conversation. But this time, well, you were pissed. Too many times has the blonde ruined band celebrations - frankly, you were fed up with the bitch.

“I know it’s hard to see people more successful than you, so why don’t you focus energy on working on your group rather than hilariously embarrassing yourself in front of someone else’s,” you fire back with a controlled voice. With a smile, you say, “Now, please fuck off somewhere else with your fucking bubblegum pop music.”

Carrie scoffs, but doesn’t argue back. Instead, she turns her chin up and stomps off, her cronies quickly trailing after her. You let out a breath and turn to your friends to see them all looking at you with a mixture of shocked and impressed looks. Your confrontation was out of character and none of them have ever heard you truly swear at someone.

“Okay, Y/N, I see you!” Flynn nods in approval. You roll your eyes and throw your arms around your female friends, biting your lip at all the attention.

“Where did that come from Y/L/N?” Alex asked, awe dripping from his voice.

“I’ve just had enough of Carrie always ruining our excitement after your shows. Girl had it coming.” You shrug your shoulders.

“Besides, I learned from the best.” You squeeze your friends’ shoulder who cheer with pride. You avoid your boyfriend’s eyes, afraid of what he’ll say about your behavior.

“Honestly, if Luke isn’t turned on right now, I would be shocked.” Reggie lets out a shout of protest as Alex smacks him upside the head. You finally peak at your boyfriend who had a triumphant smirk and smoldering eyes that pierced your own.

“Shut up Reg. Now, let’s go celebrate another successful show!” Julie offers. You all cheer and gather our stuff.

Already forgetting about the rude performer, your group’s mood was back up as the band chattered about their favorite parts of the performance. Your group had taken two cars to the venue. Alex’s car hauled the people while Luke’s car carried all the big equipment and you. When you and Luke separated from the rest of the crew, he threw his arm around you. He laughs at your scrunched up nose, clear disgust written on your face as you feel his drenched shirt and sticky arm. You sigh and hold the hand hanging off your shoulder.

“You were on fire tonight baby.” Your eyes twinkle with pride. He grins at your compliment, always appreciating your honest praise.

“Thanks babe. I could say the same to you miss ‘please fuck off’,” Luke’s amused smirk disappears as you get in the car.

“Like I said, girl had it coming. She’s always dishing it out, it was my turn to put her in her place,” you huff as you settle in the passenger seat. Luke chuckles at your behavior, not used to seeing you so disgruntled. It was adorable.

“Well, you can put me in my place any day honey because that was hot.” You blush, not missing the innuendo in his comment.

“So Reggie was right?” You rest your forearm on the console, leaning forward as you tease the boy in the driver seat.

“Hell yeah he was.” Luke mimicked your stance and reaches forward.

He lightly touching your chin, taking the time to admire your face. He had always seen and admired your tenacity. But when you stood up to Carrie, he couldn’t be more proud (or hot and bothered). Hearing the bite in your voice heated him up from the inside, and he wanted to see if he could bring it out of you again.

He grabs your chin and guides your head in the direction he wanted, tilting it so that his mouth could perfectly fit yours. As your lips met, you already knew that your friends would make fun of you two by the time you met up with them with how much you pushed and pulled at each other’s lips. The fingers gripping your chin spread out and gently cradle your face as the kiss becomes more passionate with every second. You rest your hand on his shoulder, trying to ground yourself - not to reality, but to him. Your thumb rests over his pulse point, feeling the rapid drumming that surely mimicked your own.

He swipes his tongue against your bottom lip, prompting you to open your mouth. He quickly dominated it and tangles your tongue with his. He stole your breath away, making you take a breath through your nose and smell his cologne. Luke cups his hand around the back of your neck and pulls you closer across the console, which makes you moan at his movements. When you bite his bottom lip in response, he pulls away just a little to let out a shaky breath, jaw slack with lust.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Luke whispers, his pupils were blown wide. His heart pounded in his ears while he watches you send a sultry smirk his way.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” I tease, caressing his cheek.

“No, I kiss you with it. Maybe my dirty mouth might be starting to influence you a little,” he says, referring to your profanity from earlier.

His low voice and quick glance at your bruised lips makes your thighs clench for relief. You tug at the hair on the back of his neck, making his breath hitch and his eyes meet yours.

“Honey, I was always like this, you’re just always on my good side.” He brings up his other hand and moves some hair out of your face before dropping it to your waist and gripping you tightly. Luke pulls you in closer with a mischievous smirk.

“Well, let’s get on your bad side and see what other words you know.”

Well, damn.

|||||

A/N: yeah idk what that was. Sorry if it was a little choppy - wrote this real fast. Girl really said talk shit, get hit, bitch - badass Y/N right there! Anyways, I’m back and ready to start writing again. I hope y’all have a very lovely week - Titi xx

Taglist: @aunicornmademedoit @lolychu @phantoms-julie @pixiethefirecat7

#jatp #Luke patterson #Luke jatp #Luke patterson one shot #Luke patterson x oc #Luke patterson x reader #luke patterson imagines #Luke patterson imagine #Luke patterson fanfiction #Luke patterson fanfic #Luke patterson fic

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ultraintrovertedgryffindor · 4 years

Text

Swiss Ghoul (Ghost) 18+

I realized a while ago that I always shoulder shimmy whenever I hear a song with a particularly good beat (usually Hispanic music lol), so it was about time I wrote something about Multi.

Warning: The reader has night terrors. I don’t have night terrors myself, so I apologize if I portray it incorrectly! +SMUT.

Edit: I’m adding smut at the end of this...don’t know why. This would be the first time writing something so explicit. So, 18+ 18+ 18+!!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Every night, you’d get these horrible night terrors.

It started when you were a young, after your parents died. You’d always cry or scream in your sleep. You went to the church’s Priestess for help, but she told you that there was nothing she could do. You prayed to your lord every night, hoping that he could take away your suffering. He never answered.

Eventually, almost a week of screaming every night, it was decided to move your room to the most secluded part of the abbey. You didn’t blame them. You were sure you’d get tired of listening to your screams every night too.

You knew everyone felt sorry for you, but you didn’t need their pity. You just wanted one good nights sleep...was that too much to ask?

In your room, no human could hear your screams. No human. But unfortunately, the Ghouls could. Curse their super hearing...

The Ghouls didn’t have to tell you that they could hear you, you could tell by the way they looked at you with pitiful stares every time you’d pass them in the halls in the mornings. You felt so embarrassed...

The worst part for you was everyone in the abbey treating you like you were made of glass. You had lived with night terrors for so long now that you knew how to make sure that you didn’t get hurt. You did not need their help with that.

After one practically awful incident, you grew more and more careful of how you slept. It was when you were living in foster care, about a year after your parents died. You had already dealt with the night terrors, but that night, you got hurt. You don’t usually remember what happens when you have these episodes, but your foster parents told you that you flailing around so hard that you fell off your bed, hitting your head on the bedside table in the process.

You had to deal with the risk of getting concussions after that, and ever since you’d make sure to wherever you slept was basically safe enough for a child.

After becoming a Sister of Sin, the night terrors mellowed out for a while, but it didn’t last.

You sighed, pushing your fork around, some scrambled eggs and a sausage being the only thing left on your plate. You looked around the mess hall, it was pretty empty. You were usually one of the first ones to arrive for breakfast since you rarely got your full eight hours.

Even if the night terrors were detrimental to your sleep, you were still thankful you didn’t remember them. But ever since you got hurt, you’ll admit, you’ve been afraid of sleeping. Nowadays, you get about four or five hours every night at the most.

You suddenly think back to a psychology class where your teacher said that lack of sleep can cause early deaths and heart attacks...oh well.

“Good morning, Y/N!” Swiss’ voice called out, making you drop your silverware in shock.

“Morning.” You sighed and yawned.

“Sleep well?” He asked, making you glare at him. He grinned nervously, knowing full well of your predicament. “Bad joke? Sorry...”

Being annoyed, you still chuckle. “It’s alright.”

“Gonna eat that?” He asked, pointing at your neglected eggs and sausage.

You smiled weakly, and pushed the plate over to Swiss. “Knock yourself out.”

Swiss licked his lips in anticipation, a puddle of drool already pooling on the table. He grabbed your previously held fork and stabbed it into the greasy piece of meat. He lifted up the impaled sausage and brought it to his mouth, only to bite the bitter metal of the fork.

Swiss whined and looked around for the culprit of his stolen breakfast, only to see Dewdrop already scoffing it down. “Hey! That was mine!” Swiss fussed.

Dewdrop grinned and sucked off the leftover grease that coated his fingers. “You don’t eat sausage with a fuckin’ fork. You were basically asking for it to be stolen.”

“Civilized Ghouls use their manners!” Swiss growled.

“Swiss, when has Dewy ever been civilized?” You chuckled, making Dewdrop narrow his eyes at you.

“I told you not to call me that, brat.” He growled.

“Ha! You’re calling me a brat?!” You laughed loudly.

“You wanna meet your maker early?!” Dewdrop shouted.

“Ugh, children. Stop fighting!” Aether said suddenly, sitting down beside you, opposite of Swiss, making you feel quite protected from Dew’s empty threats.

“She started it!” Dewdrop pointed a sharp claw at you.

“If you wanna get technical, it actually Swiss that started it.”

“What?!” Swiss squeaked.

Dewdrop suddenly grinned evilly. “You know what, you’re absolutely right.” He said, Swiss immediately begging for his life before Dewdrop tackled him to the floor.

You and the rest of the Ghouls watched in amusement as Dewdrop and Swiss wrestled each other on the floor, Aether enjoyed his breakfast while watching the show.

“Hey! Hey!”

You all looked to see Sister Imperator storming towards the group, a spray bottle in hand. She quickly sprayed a still fighting Dew and Swiss with water, forcing them to break apart.

“You Ghouls are supposed to be at practice soon! Copia is gonna waiting!”

The Ghouls suddenly remember that they had to go on tour soon, frowning when they had to leave you alone. But shooed them off anyway, you didn’t want to be the cause of their possible punishments for blowing off work.

“We’ll hang out later, okay?” Swiss smiled at you, showing his pearly white teeth, water still dripping off his silver mask.

You nodded and smiled, but frowned as soon as his back turned and headed off to the studio where they usually practiced. “Y/N,” Sister Imperator said, “can I talk to you?”

You held your breath for a moment, nervous about the grim look on her face, but you answered anyway. “Yes, of course, Sister.”

Sister took a seat where Aether previously sat, and put a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Your terrors haven’t stopped.” She stated.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “H-how...?”

“The Ghouls.” She answered. “They haven’t been getting much sleep lately. The band is suffering because of this. They just can’t focus on their music due to lack of sleep.”

You looked down embarrassed. “Sister...I’m-”

“I know it’s not your fault, dear. But...” She sighed. “It needs to stop or else they won’t be tour ready.”

Your heart almost stopped. “...are you kicking me out?” You almost cried.

“No, no, no!” She said. “Not permanently.” You nodded tearfully. “It would only be until they go on tour, dear. I promise. It’s just...they need their sleep to get the most out their practice time.”

“I understand.” You said, your voice barely passing a whisper.

“You won’t be homeless. We’ve already set up a living arrangement with a member of the church that’ll be happy to house you for awhile. Okay?”

“When do I leave?”

“Anytime tomorrow.”

You bit your lip to keep it from trembling. “Okay...I’ll go pack now if that’s okay with you Sister.” You said and got up without waiting for an answer.

You dug your nails into the soft material of your habit, willing yourself not to break down on your way to your room.

The waterworks started flowing at soon as you closed your door, throwing yourself onto the familiar comforting feeling of your bed, remembering that you wouldn’t have this bed until you got back.

It made you cry for hours, until you fell asleep...

You suddenly gasped awake, quickly trying to escape the claustrophobic feeling you felt around you. “Hey, hey, hey...shh...” You heard.

You looked up, and quickly realized who the voice belonged to. “Swiss...” You smiled, but Swiss didn’t smile. He looked worried. “What?”

You tried to sit, finding it difficult when you suddenly felt a sharp pain in the palms of your hands and forearms. You hissed in pain and looked at your arms. They were covered in scratches, and your palms had deep crescent shaped indents in them, all bleeding.

“Y/N...” Swiss frowned. “We got to take you to the infirmary.”

“No, no.” You groaned. “It’s okay. I have a first aid kit in my closet. Bottom shelf, I think.”

Swiss immediately rummaged through your closet and pulled out the kit, bringing it over to you as you sat up. “Does this happen often?” He asked while take out some antibiotic ointment.

You sighed. “Not really. I usually don’t hurt myself...it hasn’t happened in a long time.”

“I didn’t know it could get this bad...” Swiss gently took your arm, uncapping the tube. “I’m sorry.”

You smiled. “It’s not your fault. If anything, I’m the one who’s sorry.”

Swiss briefly gave you a confused look, continuing to treat your self inflicted wounds. “What do you mean?”

“Sister...she told me I’ve been keeping you all awake because of...my screaming. You Ghouls have always had better hearing than humans.” You laughed nervously.

Swiss’ eyes darkened. “She told you that?”

You nodded. “Practice hasn’t been going very well for you guys.”

Swiss sighed and shook his head, starting to wrap your hands with gauze. “I...yeah, it’s true. But it’s not your fault!”

“You’ve lost sleep because of me! How is that not my fault?”

“You can’t control what you do in your sleep, Y/N.”

“I have to leave tomorrow.” Your statement made Swiss halt his actions. “I have to stay at a Clergy member’s house until the band goes back on tour.”

“Fuck that.” Swiss suddenly said, making you blink in shock. “I’m not letting you leave.”

You chuckled bitterly. “It’s not like you have a choice.”

“I don’t care. You don’t deserve to be kicked out, even if it’s temporary. because of something you can’t control. I will go on strike, hell, all of us will.”

“Swiss...” You tried to scold, the determination in his voice making it hard for you to crush his hopes.

“Nope. Shut up.”

“Swiss.” You laughed.

“I’ll talk to Sister Imperator. I’ll convince her to let you stay.” Swiss said, looking you in the eyes. “Okay?”

You sighed in defeat. “...okay.”

Swiss finally finished treating your wounds, and put the first aid kit back in the closet. “Move over.” He ordered when he got back over to your bed.

You were confused but listened anyway. “What time is it?” You asked.

“Hmm, about ten.” He said and sat beside you.

You frowned. “You should probably leave then.”

“No, I’m staying with you.” Swiss said, making you blush. “If you want that it. Maybe it’ll sleep better?”

“Swiss, I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Swiss giggled. “I don’t know if you remember, but I’m a Ghoul babe. You’d have to be really freaking strong to even leave a scratch on me.”

You giggled. “Okay then. Fine.” You said and snuggled up against Swiss, finding his muscular body quite comfortable.

“I’ll make sure you don’t hurt yourself again.” You heard him whisper before his warmth lulled you into a deep sleep.

The next morning, you woke up still in Swiss’ arms. You found it surprising that you hadn’t scared him away. You looked up to see a sleeping Swiss. His mask was slightly crooked, showing a tiny bit of skin underneath. You smiled when you heard his soft snores. You always found him adorable.

But you frowned, remembering that you had to leave the abbey today...you had to leave Swiss.

You reached up and gently poked his jaw, him groaning in reply. “Hmm?”

“It’s morning.” You said softly, looking back towards your window that had sunrays shining through.

“Oh, really?” Swiss yawned, finally opening his eyes to look at you. “Guess what?”

“What?” You smiled.

“You didn’t scream in your sleep.” He smiled.

“Really?” You almost shouted, making Swiss wince slightly.

“Mhm, you didn’t even more around that much. You mumbled a little, but other than that, you pretty much slept like a baby.”

“Huh...that’s odd. I mean, it’s great but still, kinda odd. That doesn’t usually happen. I guess that means the others Ghouls finally got some sleep too.” You laughed.

“Oh, don’t worry about them. You should be focusing on yourself.” Swiss snuggled into your neck, the cold metal raising goosebumps all over your body.

“I have to leave today...” You frowned. Swiss stayed silent, not loosing his grip on you. “Swiss...”

“I told you I’d take care of it.” Swiss said, slightly muffled. You sighed and decided to sit up, making Swiss groan. “No, come back.”

“I have start packing.” You started to get up but Swiss grabbed your wrist, pulling you back down and looking at you with an intense glare.

“I told you, I’d take care of it.” Swiss said and stood up. “Stay here. Don’t fucking leave.” He ordered.

You rolled your eyes and fake saluted him. “Yes, sir.”

As soon as Swiss left your room, you started packing your suitcase. It’s not like you didn’t trust Swiss’ abilities to talk his way out of any problem, but talking to Sister Imperator was a whole other thing. She wasn’t one to take anyone’s shit, so that was worrying.

You didn’t exactly know how Swiss was going to try to convince Sister, but you hoped he could anyway.

Meanwhile, Swiss gathered up his fellow Ghouls and explained the situation. Dewdrop made the mistake of joking around that he wouldn’t mind if you left, making Aether slap the back of the head.

But they all agreed to help out, quickly going to Sister Imperator and successfully convincing her to let you stay.

You however decided to change out of your habit, not really thinking you’d have the need to wear it in your new temporary home. It felt like you were being put in foster care all over again...

You swiftly removed your habit, neatly folding it and placing it on your dresser. You picked some comfortable clothes and briefly wondered if you should take a shower. But before you decided, Swiss barged in through the door without knocking.

You squeaked and quickly got underneath your bed covers, hiding your half naked form. But it was too late, Swiss was already wearing a smirk. “Oh, learn to knock, will ya!” You blushed furiously.

“Sorry.” He laughed. Yeah, he obviously wasn’t sorry.

As if he wanted to make you more embarrassed, he sauntered over and sat in front of you. “Swiss...” You whined and sighed.

Swiss smiled, looking over to your open suitcase and frowned. “You were packing?”

“...uh, yeah.”

“I talked to Sister Imperator. She said you could stay.” He said, still frowning.

But you grinned. “Oh my...wow, really?! That’s...Swiss, I don’t know how you did it, but thank you! I’d totally hug you right now, but well, you know.” You giggled nervously.

“Y/N...” Swiss said lowly. “Didn’t I say that I’d take care of it?”

“Uh, um...” You stuttered, suddenly nervous by Swiss’ gaze.

“Use your words, babe.”

“Uh, yeah. You did say that.” You sighed.

Swiss moved closer to you and placed a gentle hand on your knee. “So, why is it that you’re packed, huh? Did you not have faith in me?” He pouted.

“N-no...I didn’t have faith that Sister would be convinced.” You chuckled.

“Hmm, I suppose I can understand that.” Swiss said, moving even closer to you and placing his hand on your cheek. “Guess you’re stuck with me now, huh?” He smiled.

You suddenly became aware of how close he was to you when you felt his warm breath on your face. He would not stop looking into your eyes. You glanced down at his lips, feeling the urge to taste them.

Swiss smiled and leaned in, the cold metal of his mask hitting your face first then his soft lips.

You almost moaned at the pleasant feeling. You always had a soft spot for the charismatic Ghouls, now, you were finally his.

Slowly but surely, you started to feel the fabric of your duvet slid off your body. “Is this okay?” Swiss whispered.

You nodded rapidly, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders.

As soon as you gave consent, Swiss ripped off your coverings. Moving closer to you, he rubbed his large hands up and down your thighs. You could already feel yourself become slick with excitement.

Swiss brought a hand up to your underwear, delicately moving the article of clothing out of the way. You gasped when his cold fingers started moving in between your folds. “You’re so wet for me already, babe?” He grinned beautifully.

Swiss then inserted a finger into you, pumping in and out at a rate that made your head spin. You panted and tangled your fingers into his hair, placing the other hand on his bicep to try and steady yourself.

You moaned in pleasure when Swiss added another finger, then rubbing tight circles on your aching clit with his thumb. “Fuck, Swiss...”

Feeling a little guilty that you were getting all the pleasure, you brought your hand down from his head to palm his hardening length through his pants. “Eager, are we, Y/N?” Swiss groaned, throwing his head back slightly and chuckled.

With Swiss’ consistent pressure on your clit, you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Quick shocks of intense pleasure making your body jolt occasionally. “Swiss...I’m gonna-”

Swiss quickly pulled his hand away, making you whine and almost let out a sob at the loss of contact. He grinned and brought his hand up, licking and sucking you off his fingers. “Can’t have you cumming just yet, babe.”

Swiss stood up from the bed to remove his clothes, taking off his briefs released his throbbing cock, a bead of precum already leaking out of the tip. He then hovered above you, placing himself in between your legs. “Again, you sure about this, babe?” He asked softly.

You almost groaned in frustration. “Yes, Swiss, I’m sure. Now please just fuck me!” You begged.

Swiss quickly obliged, thrusting up into you with a snap of his hips, not worrying about getting you to adjust to his size since you were already so prepared. You moaned loudly, finally feeling him stretching you out. “You feel so good.” Swiss moaned.

Swiss kept up a steady pace, his length hitting all the right places.

From already being so close to your release from his fingers before, you could feel the knot building up inside you once again. “Swiss, I’m so close.” You stuttered.

Swiss nodded and picked up the pace, close to his release as well. He thrusted into you fast and hard, making your tits bounce and your head close to hitting up against the wall. His mouth pouring out delicious moans every time he felt you clench around him.

You soon felt that familiar sensation flow throughout your entire body. The knot in you finally snapping, causing waves of ecstasy to burn through you like lava. You moaned loudly, eyes tearing up and your vision becoming hazy as you rode out your orgasm.

Swiss’ thrusts became sloppy, chasing and finally catching up to you in reaching his own climax. The shots of his warmth filling you up, making you moan in unison with him.

Swiss pulled out of you with a huff, throwing himself beside you and soon wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Wow...that was-”

“Fuckin’ amazing.” You giggled.

~~~~~~~~~~

I came up with a really dumb, cheesy title for a Multi Ghoul story. “Shimmying his way into my heart.” But I have no idea what to write to fit that title😂

Also, that was my first time writing smut so I’m sorry if it sucked. The cringeeeeeee 🙈

#the band ghost #ghost band fanfiction #swiss ghoul #multi ghoul #the band ghost smut #god I suck lmao

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