#best dunkle ever

[notjosieyouremy]

every edsheeran book ive ever read and what i thought

*reblog without tags please

update #1: i just finished reading Letting An@ Go by anonymous. the teenage drama and romance is gross and annoying. the protagonist has a lot of strong opinions about peoples weight, especially her mother’s, which is very triggering. plenty of m3an $pO if that’s your thing. rampant fatphobia. i give it 3 out of 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

5 star tier ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

• hunger: a memoir of (my) body by roxane gay. one of the best edsheeran books ive read. it’s about sa, food addiction, boolimia, feminism, fatphobia, the struggles of just trying to exist black woman in a large body. would recommend

• i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy. it’s so good. i think i finished it in a day. it’s about a lot more than edsheeran. highly recommend. go read it right now

• unbearable lightness: a story of loss and gain by portia de rossi. a gay actor’s struggles with edsheeran. one of the few i’ve read more than once. would recommend

• wasted: a memoir of an0rex!a and boolimia by marya hornbacher. really deserves to be in a class of its own. it’s the best written edsheeran book out there. it’s sad, hilarious, intelligent, perfectly captures the internal voice of mania. highly tr!ggering, so proceed with caution. after wasted was published she relapsed, which she speaks about in madness: a bipolar life. it’s also a very good book but edsheeran is not the focus

4 star tier ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

• insatiable: a young mother’s struggle with an0rexia by erica rivera. if you wanna read about someone who takes fistfuls of bisacodyl and exercises intensely, you might like this book. it’s very good. would recommend

• dying to be th!n by nikki grahame. imagine being so severely malnourished as a child that you never go through puberty. thats how serious her illness was. she basically grew up in treatment facilities, managed to recover against all odds, went on big brother (the reality show), published a book, relapsed, and tragically passed away in 2021. the covid lockdowns were hard on her mental health. would recommend

• the girls at 17 swann street by yara zgheib. semi-autobiographical work of fiction. what sets this one apart is the protagonist isn’t a teenage girl. she’s, like, 28 i think? something like that. would definitely recommend if you get tired of reading about teens and preteens all the time

• elena vanishing by elena dunkle. at a certain point, all these books can be summarized in one sentence: she had to choose between recovery or death. it’s a very good memoir. would recommend

• born round: the secret history of a full-time eater by frank bruni. we love to see male representation in the edsheeran community. he was a chubby kid, turned to unhealthy means to achieve we!ght loss, eventually learns to heal his relationship with food and becomes restaurant critic for the new york times (ever heard of it?). would recommend

• sure, i’ll join your cult: a memoir of mental illness and the quest to belong anywhere by maria bamford. if you don’t know who maria bamford is, she’s one of the best stand up comics, period. that’s not even my opinion, it’s just an agreed upon fact within the stand up community. she’s brilliant. the book is about her mental illnesses and all the different self help groups she joins (so many!). she does go into her struggle with exercise boolimia, though that’s not the primary subject. it gets 5 stars as a book, but 4 stars as an edsheeran book because there just isn’t a lot of dis0rder talk

3 star and below ⭐️⭐️⭐️

• stick figure: a diary of my former self by lori gottlieb. good but i had trouble relating to the protagonist because was quite young and immature

• the art of st4rving by sam j. miller. some much needed male representation in edsheeran literature. and some lgbtq representation. it’s YA (young adult) fiction, not really my taste. would recommend for those who like YA. great cover art!

• wintergirls by laurie halse anderson. a lot of people love this book. i thought it was ok. it’s a work of fiction by an author who isn’t really part of the edsheeran or recovery community. it’s another YA book. i will always prefer memoirs and non-fiction

• fat chance by lesléa newman. this was the first edsheeran book i read. it was assigned reading for my high school health class. it’s a YA novel about a 13 year old girl who wants to lose we!ght. she re$tricts, she b;nges, she poorges, she becomes boolimic. i can trace my edsheeran back to this book. i started d;eting, b;ngeing, and abusing lax4tives as a direct result of reading this material. it did the exact opposite of its purpose, trying to steer young people away from toxic d!et culture. my take away was, i’m overweight, therefore i should be willing to do anything to get th!nner. it’s not very good tbh. maybe if you like YA you’d like it but otherwise, would not recommend

[randomfandomasks]

Sansgoriel Headcanons

In my headcanon. Sans is the one accidentally bring Toriel and Asgore back together. I feel like Sans and Asgore got together first while Toriel and Sans were best friends, who were making puns together. Before Frisk fell down. Sans spent time making puns and jokes with Toriel while also spending time with Asgore. After Frisk freed them all from the Underground. Toriel and Asgore were still tense for a while, but Sans continue spending time with one and the other. Despite Sans and Asgore being in a relationship both Sans and Asgore also had feelings for Toriel (and for each other of course) I feel like Toriel did had feelings for both of them as well, but she still had a hard time forgiving Asgore. After all she truly cared about the human children. Toriel blamed Asgore, but she also blamed herself for not protecting them better. All Monsters and Frisk definitely get therapy sessions after they left the Underground. But overtime Toriel and Asgore were managed to move on. With time Toriel joined Sans's and Asgore's relationship I feel like Toriel never truly stopped loving Asgore, but it was hard for her to be around him. For Toriel and Asgore it was awkward again, but Sans always lightened the mood with his puns. It also helped them having Frisk around as both Toriel and Asgore see Frisk as their chance to be parents again. Asgore and Sans are definitely whipped for Toriel. I think Toriel sometimes watches Asgore interact with Frisk and she cannot help, but to remember Chara and Asriel. Sans stays the dunkle to Frisk. I'm not sure if Toriel and Asgore ever will have another child (besides Frisk). If they will then you can bet Toriel and Asgore will get overprotective and Sans have to tell them to chill. Their relationship is filled with Toriel and Sans making puns and Asgore either laughing or being clueless. Frisk has three parents now. Technically this will make Sans the King as well.

[ochrearia]

omg based fossil fighters fan??????? i swear it's so hard to find other people who enjoy the series

do you have. a favorite vivosaur

oughfgfeuh I feel lik I have to say Lagia because that's my dinauriansona base. extraterrestrial Lagia but like I have. so many. Toba is the only starter I ever pick and I will never not pick my baby Toba. I seriously think that sauropods have the best 3rd stage attack animations and I will hold to that

Pelto. I don't really know why but Pelto makes my brain happy. Carchar. Centro's goofy but I like that one. Einio too despite not likin most of the tricera-adjacent ones. Guera. Shanshan. Cryo. Yango. Dunkle. Dilopho. ohhh I'm probably forgetting a bunch because there's so damn many I like to begin with FRICK

I'm gonna remember more later and I'm gonna kick myself every time uhh Dacerus. Salto. These are just not even considering super revivers either

[atlantic-riona]

I read a lot of books in the last ten days - a lot of them were very light, since I was on vacation - but since it's been so long since I read for fun, I thought I'd note down some things for each of them.

Completed

The Hollow Kingdom by Claire B. Dunkle: Still an absolute favorite of mine - I personally think it's one of the best books featuring a Goblin King, and Kate is such an interesting protagonist. I won't spoil anything, but I do like how the book actually doesn't follow a more traditional plot for these kinds of books.

In the Coils of the Snake by Claire B. Dunkle: Probably not my favorite, per se, of the trilogy, but I do find it fascinating. It brings back the elves, and I love the questions that get raised about the future and past of the goblins and elves. Can they ever escape their own tendencies?

Entwined by Heather Dixon: Best retelling of the Twelve Dancing Princesses ever, in my opinion. Really good characters and I loved the family relationships.

Keturah and Lord Death by Martine Leavitt: I kept seeing this in various lists and it is very good! I enjoyed reading it a lot. Kind of Scheherazade-like, where Keturah keeps Death from claiming her by telling stories and then promising to finish the stories the next day.

The Vampire's Promise by Caroline B. Cooney: Genuinely unsettling descriptions of the vampire, but in a good way. There's something about this genre of supernatural fiction that I love (pre-2000s small town America encounters something supernatural) but it's hard to find nowadays imo, because so much of it is just romance now. I enjoyed it a lot, and there's two other books in the trilogy, but I have to put off reading those because of how unnerving the first was, lol.

Mixed Magics by Diana Wynne Jones: Very fun! I always love the Chrestomanci stories, they're funny and also just brilliant worlds to visit.

In Progress

Wintersong by S. Jae-Jones: Going to be honest, I'm probably not going to finish this one. I started it after The Hollow Kingdom, because I was looking for more Goblin King-esque stories, but this one is not for me. I like some of the premise - the music aspect is interesting, and so too is the childhood friendship with the Erlkonig - but it's veering into "historically women were so repressed by society and religion and now I'm going to glory in being violent and hedonistic" and that's just not my cup of tea. I may try to push through it, but not if it's going to continue down the current path.

Fated by Benedict Jacka: This one's interesting. It's a bit like the Dresden Files, but Alex is definitely a bit more level-headed, which is interesting. I'm also interested in the world itself, but I will admit I got distracted partway through reading it and so I'm not very far in yet.

Captured by Maggie L. Wood: Didn't think I would like this one, but it reminds me a lot of the kinds of books I would devour in middle school. It's an interesting kind of portal fantasy, and I like Willow and her reactions to learning that she's not from Earth originally. The chess aspect is interesting, but I do wish they'd focus more on Willow's skills with chess, since it's so integral to the plot.

Nightwing, Vol. 1: Bludhaven by Dennis O'Neil: I have gotten maybe...five pages into this one, haha. I do like it, though! I'll have more to say later, though I do think it's funny that everybody's like "yeah, Gotham is bad, but Bludhaven is even worse." Like...you have seen Gotham, right? Maybe I just need to read more of the comic.

Stolen Songbird by Daniell E. Jensen: Another Goblin King-esque story, though here they're trolls in some kind of fantasy France? It was interesting, but I'm not going to lie, it's turning into a slog. I don't particularly find it interesting to read about characters that flip-flop their minds every five seconds, and I wasn't interested in the romance part, which is turning into the focus (I don't know what I expected, it's marketed as a romance, bahahaha). I probably will also not finish this one.

The Light Ages: The Surprising Story of Medieval Science by Seb Falk: Only made it through the intro and first chapter so far, but it is FASCINATING. It will probably take me a long time to finish, but that's just because I find so much of what's being explained interesting that I have to track it down further or include it in my own stories.

Ladies of Liberty by Cokie Roberts: Didn't get through much more than the intro (it was buried in the car during the trip), but I love this period of time, and I love when historians dig into women of history without acting as if only women pursuing masculine activities are worth studying, and the intro makes it seem like this is one of those books where all kinds of women are being studied. So fingers crossed this one works out!

[cleopatras-library]

📚🗓 Mid-Year Freakout Tag 2023 🗓📚

jumping on the hype train because it’s fun

How many books have you read so far?

69 including comics & graphic novels (nice)

What genres have you read?

Mostly fantasy and sci fi, but also a bit of historical fiction.

Best book you’ve read so far in 2023?

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson! The first two books in the series were dubious, but things really came together for me in this one and I'm so excited for the conclusion. Also Baru is the character ever.

Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2023?

Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir; it really recontextualizes the first two books and is therefore the best at being a sequel.

New release you haven’t read yet, but want to

Titanium Noir by Nick Harkaway (saw it at a festival), Translation State by Ann Leckie (I really liked her other books), and also New Suns 2 (I read New Suns last year and it had some really good stories!)

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

Alecto the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir! After reading Nona I need to know.

Biggest disappointment

It's a tie between The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson (boring and somehow shallow-feeling worldbuilding, and managed not to get me very invested in the characters even with over 1000 pages?), Dune by Frank Herbert (all the worst parts of 60s sci fi), La passeuse de mots by Jennifer and Alric Twice (all the worst parts of 2000s YA fantasy), or Der Dunkle Schwarm by Marie Grasshoff (somehow uninteresting despite what could be a very compelling world). I can't choose between any of these because none of them really got under my skin, they were just meh in ways I wasn't expecting them to be.

Biggest surprise

The Well by Jake Wyatt; I convinced myself it was going to be mediocre despite the awesome cover, but it's actually my favourite graphic novel of the year so far! The art is gorgeous and the story is a fun spin on traditional quest narratives.

Book that made you cry

Small Game Hunting at the Local Coward Gun Club by Megan Gail Coles. This book reminded me why I don't read sad literary fiction, even though it was really good (highly recommend if you can tolerate it!)

Book that made you happy

A Pho Love Story by Loan Le; I really appreciated how the characters learned to live with their immigrant parents and also the romance was really sweet!

Most beautiful book cover of a book you’ve read so far this year

Either Even Though I Knew The End by C.L. Polk (I am a sucker for vintage anything) or Squire by Sara Alfageeh and Nadia Shammas (I am also a sucker for clouds)

How are you doing with your year’s goal?

Don’t have one!

What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

De Profundis, The Secret History, Lord of the Flies, The Origins of Political Order, and After the Victorians (I think I've given up on reading War and Peace, at least for the moment). Oh, and Alecto, when it comes out. (There are, as always, Too Many Books)

(and since they haven't done it yet I tag @maddiesbookshelves and @yourneighborhoodbibliophile (but only if they feel like it))

[takealookintheback]

Goodween confirmed to be best person ever

[Der dunkle Taipan; als ich gelesen habe, dass Goodween hier seinen zweiten Buchauftritt hat, musste ich es mir kaufen. Er wird ca. fünf Mal namentlich erwähnt, aber HONEY, you are the best <3 So wenig Details, aber diese kleine Geste, ihr ein Megafon zu geben ist so chaotisch gut, i love it.]

[beerselfie]

#Repost @craftyhalfpint One of Nashville's hidden gems for me was @barriquebrewing . I thought they were unique with having all their beer barrel aged. Their low-lit barrel-lined tasting room was extremely cozy, and their Pressed: Chambourcin might have been the best sour I've ever had.🙌🏆 I also loved their Baltic Porter and Dunkles Bock. I would say this is one brewery that shouldn't be missed when visiting #nashville . 🍻 Their bar staff, especially Kyle, was very friendly and knowledgeable about all the beer as well. 😊🍺 #nashvillehiddengems https://www.instagram.com/p/Cnhnip3PqiQ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[kakusu-shipping]

💕 for Undertale & Deltarune? :3

Thankyou very much for asking!!

I'll be honest here I haven't gotten super into Undertale or Deltarune shipping. I have a lot I like sure but I didn't really go out of my way to find content for any of them like I do for other fandom ships?

That also means anything not mentioned I'm probably neutral towards tho, sense I don't have strong opinions on the one's I like anyway fdkgjdfk

Problematic ships under the cut

Undertale Ships

I really liked Toriel/Sans back in the day, and still reblog it from time to time. They're losers and I think that's funny. Step-Dunkle Sans for the win

In that same vein Asgore/Gaster is so very *chefs kiss* Devoted Royal Scientist X The Depressed Lonely King. My god. What dreams are made of

Because of those two I got really attached to Asriel/Papyrus, just to continue the Goat/Skeleton thing??? fdkgjkdf Mostly tho Post Pacifist Flowey or Souless Asriel. I think they're cute. "I think I'm the evilest thing to ever live" 11 year old mentality X "I think I'm the greatest thing to ever live" 12 year old mentality (Papyrus is a grown-ass man though I am not infantalizing him)

ACTUALLY though Papyrus/Frisk was my OG Papyrus ship, while everyone else was all about Frans and Papyton, I was on the Stupid Little Guys train. I ADORE them. Frisk didn't want their Gender so they gave it to Papyrus

Does liking Alphys/Undyne even need to be stated at this point? It's like the default of Undertale shipping. They're cute. Good for them.

Alphys/Madds/Undyne is INCREDIBLY cute though I hope she gets pulled into the Alphyne polycule so badly she is their little meow meow

There was like a week of my life where I got super hard obsessed with Asgore/Mettaton spesifically because of one artist who drew the thottiest Mettaton with a Biggest little guy Asgore I'd ever seen and I'm still on that. Mettaton deserves to be a Sugar Baby to the King of Monsters

Chara/Asriel is extremely cute they are best friends they are siblings they are partners they kiss and snuggle and one day they'll rule the underground together and Chara is convinced they don't deserve Asriel

I think Asgore/Chara would be a very cute ship but there's probably no content for it. I just think on it sometimes.

Frisk/Chara Queerplatonic body sharers post game is very good to me. I've also seen an AU where Frisk gives up their soul for Asriel to come back and they share a body and I think the three of them should vibe like that.

Frisk/Monster Kid is always appreciated in this house we love Monster Kid content in this house

On that note I love you artists who make the briefly mentioned Suzy an Undertale version of DR's Susie and have her hang out with Frisk. They are buddies and I love them so much.

Deltarune Ships

Kris/Berdly is the only one that actually hard matters to me I love them I love them so much they are gaymers. Especially love it with Transfemme Berdly for no other reason than I love her my baby girl

Kris/Spamton is!!!! So good!!! I love Spamton a little freak an old man who's really weird about this teenager he just met he makes them so uncomfortable I think it's hysterical

Kris/Ralsei while we're on the train is incredibly cute and another instance of a Darkner being very Unnormal about Kris in a way that makes them uncomfortable. Ralsei infantalizes Kris while also putting them on such a high pedestal. Good uncomfy Yandere content

Another probably doesn't need to be said but I think Susie/Noelle is pretty alright. My opinion on it is very same as Alphyne it's fine it's canon gays and it's cute. No complaints from me

Lancer/Susie/Noelle though?? Incredible. Top tier. Susie will go nowhere without her little guy Lancer, and Noelle thinks he's cute as can be and incredibly silly. Is he involved romantically? Unclear but he sure is there

Roulxs Kaard/Spade King was very juicy back when we only had chapter one. The last bit of porn I witnessed before Tumblr fully closed it's doors was some nasty shit of the two of them. RIP the OP of that work they got hard banned four separate times.

Roulxs/Queen has sense filled the Roulxs Kaard malewife shaped hole in my heart however and it is so much funnier than whatever he and Spade King had going on. Queen talks about him like how we all talk about Spamton and I think that's glorious

Queen/Swatch Queerplatonics my dearly beloveds

Are Sweep Cap'n Cakes a polycule? Someone said they were brothers and I cannot remember who or if it was canon. I like them as a polycule. They kiss on the mouth

I love you Jevil/Spamton divorce does it count as a ship if my favorite part of it is they're broken up?

Jevil/Seam is incredibly cute I love them soft I love them angsty I love them devoted and broken and wishing for the old days and I love them together and happy and silly old married couple

Spamton/Addisons any Addison or all Addison I love Spam/Addi ships a lot because it can't be sweet they left Spamton homeless and alone in the streets. The good ol days only kinda ship.

[allesiathehedge]

✨ ✨ Happy UT 7th Anniversary ✨ ✨

[doll-r-t]

The Lost Pearl Part 11

Syverson x reader

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Masterlist

TW: Angst

gif cred to owner

Syverson was looking up at Warhorse. His eyes on their own accord went to you, the wind was making your dress flutter. Although he liked the incorporation of his people’s style into your clothing he adored the way the wind carried your flowing dresses, giving him glimpses of your figure underneath. His gaze went to the hand you had around Rosamund. She was giddy with joy and it made him smile even broader at seeing his family again. It had been a tough trip. His people were starving and he had no idea how to fix it. He was sure that the shed the grain was in had been set on fire. He had no idea what it meant other than his people were under attack by an invisible enemy. He was never very good at practicing his patience and figuring out what was going to happen. He was straightforward, charging into battle head first. Cella had often reprimanded him for it but it was his instinct. He dismounted his horse, catching a running Rosamund. He sat her atop his hip, tweaking her nose. She started to giggle. He had been worried about leaving her after what had happened but she looked at happy as ever. Sy made his way up the stairs hugging his sister to him. He looked at you over Cella’s head, smiling at you. You gave him one of your soft smiles, it made something flutter in his chest. Clearing his throat he stepped back taking the wine and bread. Once the welcome was over he went to his room. 

This evening, after Rosamund, was in bed Cella you, and Sy took some tea in his study. Syverson had wanted you there, you were smart, far smarter than him and Cella would tell you everything anyway. He told you about his trips around the villages, and how some reported livestock missing. How most people had not enough food. He breathed in deeply preparing himself for what he was about to say. “At the outskirt by the dark wood, we were attacked, by Dunklings.” Cella gasped, “You did not write me that.” “They were quickly bested, but we found some of the livestock that had been missing.” “And you think that it was them who set fire to the shed with the grains.” You concluded. “Further, you are worried at how they could get into Trollhjem and if there are more. What if they have infiltrated or someone may have changed loyalty or was bribed to let them in. “NO,” Syverson called out, sighing deeply, “Yes.” He sank back into the chair. “Is there a way to find out?” Cella asked. You mulled the question over, “it would be difficult but not necessarily impossible. The first step is to figure out whom you can trust and who had the opportunity to set the fire.” Syverson nodded in agreement. “I will set up a team to investigate this. Only my most trusted. We have to keep this quiet. I cannot have my people be even more scared.” He stood up walking to his desk. “I need to sort out my papers and correct the resource reports.” Cella and you got up. You hesitated at the door but understood he needed time to be alone. You quietly closed the door. Instructing one of the servants to bring Syverson some mead and to get you if something was the matter. 

The next few days Syverson looked worse and worse, he bearly slept and hardly ate. He tried so hard to find a solution but could not, he could not help his people and it was slowly destroying him. A servant burst into his room making Syverson flinch. The young man looked flushed and was breathing quickly. “What is it?” Syverson was reaching for his sword. “There are wagons-.” Deep breath. “Many wagons, and riders with white and blue armor.” Syverson frowned. “They are almost here. They are riders from the seaside, from Princess Y/N land.” He went on. Syverson nodded knowing the blue and white armor. He walked past the servant in search of one of his soldiers. He still had no idea what was going on. “Cap.” Ocre greeted him. “seems like our allies have sent us some stuff.” Syverson’s face showed that it was no time to speak in riddles. “Wagons full of food, grain, conserved fruit and vegetables, potatoes. All kinds of things according to the rider.” Ocre let him to one messenger standing in the great hall. He bowed deeply. “Captain Syverson. It is an honor.” Syverson reciprocated the formalities. “The high Prince Imrahil sends you, his best wishes and may this helps you through troubling times. The Wagons are expected to be here soon.” Before Syverson could say anything soft-sounding horns sounded outside. He walked past the messenger and looked out, he saw for himself five Wagons and over two dozen soldiers. Quick footsteps sounded behind him and you appeared next to him, you were smiling at seeing your people. “They are here, they brought food.” You breathed out when seeing the Wagons. Syverson turned to you. Before you could take a step further he grabbed your arm. “You knew about this?” He hissed. You were shocked at the grip on your arm and the fire behind his eyes. Before you could say anything riders were coming up the hill toward them. The men were all dressed in blue and white, with a symbol of a fish in a seashell with a pearl in his mouth. The pearl in the fish's mouth was the symbol of the royal riders of the seaside. Your father must have been worried about sending so much-needed food without proper protection. Syverson sent the servants to get wine and bread. He had given you another side-eye glare before walking toward the men. A tall man got off the horse laughing loudly, greeting Syverson with a pat on his back. “Who is that?” Rosamund asked tugging at your skirt. “My brother, Ethos.” You replied shortly. You could not believe your eyes. What was he doing here? 

“Ethos,” you breathed. He gave you a nod before taking a glass of wine and a piece of bread as a welcome. Once the greeting ceremony was over you walked inside toward Syverson’s study. The soldiers were given accommodation as well as their horses. Syverson sat behind his desk Ethos seated himself across and Cella next to him. You stood next to Ethos's chair. “Don’t get me wrong brother I am happy to see you again but why?” Ethos shot you a questioning look. “We are here to assist you of course.” Ethos stated as if it was obvious. “When Y/N wrote us telling us of your misfortune my father complied as many recourses as we could to send you aid. Y/N told us your country was badly hit and then the grain burning down.” Syverson clenched his jaw, the vein in his neck was pulsing wildly. You could see from your standing position that he was clenching his fists. “Did she now?” He growled out. A servant interrupted updating Syverson on the procession of distributing food and taking inventory as well as where they put the soldiers. Ethos took this opportunity to grab you by the hand pulling you down. “You did not tell him?” He hissed. You looked at him innocently. “I don’t know what you mean. I just wrote a letter. I did not demand you do this.” “You knew we were going to send aid. How could we not from your letter? You described in detail how people were dying of hunger. How they sacrificed everything to help us in the final battle.” You looked away. Of course, this was your intention, for them to send aid. “I did not ask you to do it.” You replied again. The servant left and you rightened yourself. Suddenly you were not feeling as confident as before, but you had to do something people were dying. You did not exaggerate but you knew the rhetoric you used would leave your father no choice but to send food especially if it came to light that the high Prince knew about their suffering and did nothing. 

Ethos turned to Syverson again. “We were informed of your predicament and my father the High Prince of the Pearl could not stand aside why not only an Allie but a brother to us was suffering.” He stood up, bowing deeply. “I apologize for not sending a letter first informing you of our intention,” we thought you knew, Ethos added in his head but did not speak it out loud it would not help. From what he had seen the Woodland people were proud and hard workers. And since the alliance was so new, after being broken for so long it was a delicate situation. The Northmen had still hostility in their heart from years of prejudice against them. Now handing them food without wanting something in return was not seen as an act of kindness but as an act of insult. 

Syverson stood as well. “I am sorry Ethos you must be tired from the ride. Please Cella could you bring him to a room and send a servant.” Cella stood up, forcefully smiling. Ethos and Cella left the room. You had a feeling you should stay. Your mind was racing trying to come up with a solution without this turning into chaos. Syverson was stubborn and quick to anger. You knew that so you had to focus his mind on his people who needed this help. 

As soon as the door closed Syverson’s anger came out he looked at you in a way that made your chest tighten. Before he could say anything you decided to be honest and straight. The word tricker worked in your own court but here it would not get you far. “I had to,” you simply stated. He stood up so fast the chair was falling back. “Why because we are simple-minded savages not capable of taking care of our own people?” You tried to keep your face blank but he stood so close his anger coming off in waves. It made you subconsciously reach for your dagger, even though you knew he would not hurt you. It made you angry, feeling the cold handle of the dagger. You had not reached for it in your entire stay in Warhorse. The cold steel broke your composure. “Get over yourself.” You stepped closer to him, your voice a whispered hiss. It was the wrong thing to say. “How dare you. You walk around here like you own this place. You are a guest, and from now on an unwelcomed one.” He pushed past you. You were about to grab his arm not done with him when he whirled around again. “You are so high and mighty with your silver tongue slithering into our court changing Cella to what you think is civilized with your split tongue. Taking over slowly. Don’t think I do not know how you took over once Cella and I left. Is this your plan? To take over my court. MY COURT.” Syverson got more amped up. You could only stand there and look at him, never in your life had you been described as a snake, and it broke your heart. “Was that your plan when you took Rosamund to the wall? to off her? But then you chickened out. You people have no spine. No idea what it is like to work hard to make hard choices. You walk around with your fancy clothing and your head held high like you are something more but you aren’t you are just a pretty face distracting from the rotten core within your people.” You stepped back, swallowing hard. You opened your mouth trying to set him straight but your throat was tightening by the minute you could not say anything. A strangled gasp left you and without a word you left his study. You stopped for a second seeing Cella look at you with a mixture of sadness, pain, and betrayal. You could not take it, you walked to your room, shaking from anger and hurt. 

What do you guys think? Did she ruin the alliance and her friendship as well as the blossoming trust between Cella and Syverson?

Taglist: Something is wrong with my tags so let me know if you got notifications.

@tumblnewby, @irishprincess89, @omgkatinka, @lunedelorient, @wheretheriversrunintothesea @amberangel112 @sofiebstar @enchantedbytomandhenry @snowbellexx @daddys-littlewhitegirl @pjkimrn @zealoushound, @lunedelorientnt​, @tragicphoenix13​, @alexa-fangirl-forever​, @vhjlucky13​ @bourbonwithice

[puppyc00lmarzipan]

Hey Frisk is Sans the best Dunkle (Dad/Uncle) you’ve ever had?

unironically posting this on father's day XD

[laceymorganwrites]

Musashi headcanons that are the Brat to my wurst

listen listen, the beer clichee is true, alright

I mean I personally can only drink beer cause I´m lightweight, it´s the only thing not making me throw up

and it´s canon that he likes to drink beer as well, a lot of it

but I do think he prefers Dunkles (irdk what it´s called in English rip, but it´s like ale I believe?)

Helles for him is too weak, he does drink a few of those but in the end he always goes for Dunkles

I fully believe that he does not get drunk, or that´s what everyone thinks

but there´s this point where he drinks one beer too much (this happens veryyyy little, he doesn´t like being drunk, just drinking)

Musashi usually only drinks to be more sociable at events and such

so when he drinks he talks more to people and overall is a bit more included and involved

but there´s this point when he gets drunk and suddenly he´s everyone´s best friend

giving everyone advice, taking silly pictures with them, the guy who gets su hyper and suggests going to karaoke or someplace (Also the guy who will sing Rammstein and knows all of the lyrics)

team: clingy

if you´re sitting next to him you´re gonna have one of his arms around you, he laughs at everything when he´s drunk

he doesn´t like warm weather too much because of his condition, that´s why he also doesn´t like to go on vacation

but if he would: he´d definitely wear socks in sandals

the typical dad ones too, the brown ones that are already way too worn out with the white socks

also if he ever was to go on vacay he´s team rent a cabin in the woods and go hiking

Ik ik ppl always say Germans are meat lovers, I mean we got Schnitzel and Bratwurst etc. buttttt this man gives me veggie vibes

and not to flex but our veggie meat is delicious 💅

Musashi also likes to cook, especially for others or overall eating in company is great to him

king of Raclette because he somehow makes that even more fancier 

and don´t get me started about soccer

that man gets passionate about that shit

he invites all of his friends and prepares all the food and drinks

they all yell at the screen together

okay but he´d totally invite cell 13 to watch a match with him

they all are so freaking confused because they just don´t know him this way

he has to explain Abseits to Nico and Jyugo about ten thousand times

he bonds with Uno because of course he does, Brits and Germans just know how to do soccer

honestly he´s the type of person who listens to either classical music or die Ärzte, or Rammstein

a huge fan of literature, especially Goethe and Shakespeare

Faust, die Leiden des jungen Werther, he also loves every romcom by Shakespeare since he just cackles to himself at the wittiness every time

I feel like he´d love Oscar Wilde too, overall gothic ltierature from that time (or maybe I just self project but psht)

oh he´d definitely come over to cell 13 with his Freundebuch

he bought a new one since the last time he had one was in elementary school

he explains the whole thing and everyone might be crying just a little bit

Nico plasters stickers all over his page and everyone gives it their best shot

[herzlak]

Tatort episodes from Alberich's POV:

Der dunkle Fleck Alberich und 10 zu 2

Fakten, Fakten Alberich und der Durchschnitt ihres Männerverschleißes

Dreimal schwarzer Kater Alberich und wir brauchen einen Exorzisten!

Sag nichts Alberich und was ist eigentlich los mit dem Diebeck?

Mörderspiele Alberich und die Einmann und Einefrau SOKO

Eine Leiche zu viel Alberich und der Betriebsrat

Der Frauenflüsterer Alberich und die Überraschungseier

Der doppelte Lott Alberich und die falsche Solidarität unter Kleingewächsen

Das ewig Böse Alberich und schon wieder eine von Boernes verrückten Ideen

Das zweite Gesicht Alberich und der Föhn

Ruhe sanft! Alberich und das Sekttablett

Satisfaktion Alberich und zwölf Stiche

Krumme Hunde Alberich und Wotan - die Rheingoldtruppe wächst!

Wolfsstunde Alberich und mal versehentlich in den Chef verliebt

Höllenfahrt Alberich und ihr "freier" Tag

Tempelräuber Alberich und... oh oh, sie hat Boerne schon wieder im Büro eingesperrt

Fluch der Mumie Alberich und die Geiselnahme

Spargelzeit Alberich und die letzten Laborergebnisse aus der KTU

Herrenabend Alberich und der Töpferkurs

Zwischen den Ohren Alberich und noch eine von Boernes Sinnkrisen

Hinkebein Alberich und das gehässige Lachen von irgendwo aus der Asservatenkammer

Das Wunder von Wolbeck Alberich und der Betriebsausflug aufs Land

Summ, Summ, Summ Alberich und die Shoppingtour mit Boerne

Die chinesische Prinzessin Alberich und... Frau Haller?!

Der Hammer Alberich und das Superhelden Faible

Mord ist die beste Medizin Alberich und die Kunst des Krieges

Erkläre Chimäre Alberich und das schönste Seitenprofil ever

Schwanensee Alberich und die Boerne-Statistik

Ein Fuß kommt selten allein Alberich und die Polymerasekettenreaktion

Feierstunde Alberich und massive angst

Fangschuss Alberich und die Leuchtstoffröhre

Gott ist auch nur ein Mensch Alberich und die erste Mittagspause seit zehn Jahren?

Schlangengrube Alberich und schon wieder so ein beklopptes Hobby vom Chef

Spieglein, Spieglein Alberich und das Rektalthermometer

Lakritz Alberich und Boernes überschwängliche Dankbarkeit

Väterchen Frost Alberich und keiner hat sie zum Glühweintrinken eingeladen...

Limbus Alberich und Boerne.

Es lebe der König! Alberich und das Praktikum beim Fotostudio, oder war's Verkehrspolizei?

Rhythm and Love Alberich und schon wieder eine Geiselnahme

[moonyinatrenchcoat]

Okay ich hab gerade die neuste Folge der drei Fragezeichen gehört. Lasst mich sagen was ich beim Hören von "Der dunkle Wächter gedacht habe:

Bob macht eine unnötige Sprachnachricht, damit Peter seiner Stimme beim Einschlafen zuhören kann, jetzt wo er nicht mit seinem bf surfen kann

Bob verschwindet und Peter gets into complete protective boyfriend mode

Das muss die erste Folge sein in der Peter nicht konstant darauf beharrt ein gruseliges Haus im canyon sofort wieder zu verlassen und das liegt nur an Bob

PETER KENNT DAS MUSTER SEINER SPORTSCHUHE. UND ER KENNT BOBS JACKE. UND DEN KNOPF SEINER JACKE ANHAND DER MARKE. PETER WIE GENAU SCHAUST DU DIR BOB 24/7 AN?? OBSESSIVE MUCH.

Peter denkt ausnahmsweise mal wie ein Detektiv und analysiert Fußspuren

"Ich habe gesehen, wie Peter aus dem Kühlschrank geklettert ist." Bestes mental Image ever

Warum hat Bob JUSTUS' Geburtstag als PIN? Hat er Angst, dass Peter all seine Angsty Nachrichten über Peter findet, die er konstant an Just und Liz schickt?

Wie eifersüchtig Peter klingt, als er das mit dem pin herausfindet (vielen Dank dafür Jens 😍)

Schicken Peter und Bob wohl öfter geheime Seemannsknoten?

Alles in allem hatte diese Folge nicht annähernd genug Peter/Bob content aber da die beiden trotzdem süße Momente hatten, sei es verziehen.

[allesiathehedge]

Sans in the Minds of Fans: *GigaChad Sans*

Sans On Reality: *Think of a very poorly drawn Sans who makes an uncle joke about bone.*

Best dunkle ever 👌

[invisibletinkerer]

Fic: The Secret Journal of 'Stanford' Pines

Size: ~3000 words AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20864183

Stan Pines keeps a journal of brief daily notes during the summer of 2012.

Note: We all know that the Gravity Falls timeline makes no sense whatsoever. Therefore this is based on a headcanon timeline I made a year or so ago, trying to incorporate as many of the canon dates (in show and published J3) as possible, but ignoring the ones that were contradictory or made no sense. This still means some episodes did not happen in a strictly chronological order.

June 1

Kids are here. I have no idea what to do. Why did I agree to this.

Boy is a grump and girl made macaroni art in the kitchen. Did I even have macaroni?

 June 2 Sunday

I think boy got spooked in the forest. He seems fine, though. Good taste in gold chains.

Girl is now dating some punk kid.

 June 3

Kids looked like they’d been run over by the golf cart when they got back tonight. Not good.

Gave them some free gifts from the shop to cheer em up. Yes I know

Boy got a new hat. Should get him to wear a Mystery Shack shirt next. Girl found a grappling hook that was not in my inventory. Bold choice.

What would they say if they knew about me?

June 4

Fishing Season Opening Day – took the kids fishing.

Of course, they got excited about monster hunting instead. They’re listening to reason about as well as I and Fo did as a kid.

But. They came back to me in the end. We had fun.

I love those kids.

 June 5

Soos found those cursed old wax statues I sealed up some ten years ago. Don’t seem all that cursed now. One had melted.

Mabel’s gonna make a new one for the wax museum. Meaning I’ll have to figure out how to make suckers pay to look at wax statues again.

 June 6

Mabel’s wax creation nearly gave me a heart attack. It looks just like my twin me.

She’s crazy talented.

 June 7

I’d say the wax museum reopening went well. Assuming “well” means “profit”.

Did anyone actually think I’d hand out free pizza?

 June 8

Hanging out with my wax twin Stan, and the moment I turned my back he was murdered.

 June 9 Sunday

Tried to hold a funeral for Wax Stan. Failed to keep it tounge-in-cheek.

Face it, Ford is long gone

 June 10

Guess the wax people were still as cursed as I remembered. Kids killed them with fire – I should have done that long ago.

Dipper crawled in the vents all day looking for a wax head that got away.

If I keep telling him he’s delusional, he’s got to stop looking for trouble eventually, right?

 June 11

Mabel decided I should date Lazy Susan. Couldn’t stop her. Now Susan and her cats keep calling me.

This was a bad idea. (I will never tell Mabel that.)

 June 12

Went on a date with Lazy Susan to shut her up. That ended just as well as expected.

Need to figure out some more specific excuses.

 June 13

The worst thing is, the Portal should work now. It’s functional. I just can’t get it to start.

Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all along

I did fix that old copier. Don’t know if it still makes copies of people, but at least it makes copies of paper again.

Caught Dipper making oogly eyes at Wendy. I smell drama.

 June 14

Did not expect “The Duchess Approves” to be that good.

 June 15

The traditional Mystery Shack party that has nothing to do with any birthdays.

Mabel is a great singer, and that Northwest brat cheated.

Happy birthday, Sixer.

 June 16 Sunday

Gideon Gleeful’s running TV ads again.

Of course my family goes to his show just to spite me.

 June 17

Mabel played with Gideon today. Did not see that one coming.

As long as she’s happy, I guess.

 June 18

I hate Pioneer Day.

Stupid people acting even stupider than normal, nothing works, then someone (me) ends up in the stocks.

 June 19

Gideon and Mabel are dating!?

Seemed like a horrible idea, but Bud Gleeful has a point on the moneymaking opportunities if we play it right.

 June 20

So if Mabel marries Gideon, his business will be incorporated into mine. I sure like the sound of that.

Bud is already making t-shirts.

 June 21

 June 22

OK, no. No deals with the Gleefuls. Not now or ever.

Mabel broke up with the little pest. Good riddance.

Got me a nice painting from Bud’s house, though.

 June 23 Sunday

The Mystery Fair! It may look cheap, but it brings in the money.

Though someone broke all safety protocols and brought a futuristic laser gun to Dunkle the Grunkle. That’s unfair.

Mabel has a pig now.

 June 24

Got roped into the gaming arcade with the kids.

Maybe get one of those games for the Shack?

 June 25

Mabel decided to fix my fear of heights.

I can say this – being on top of a water tower about to fall over was unpleasant. Compared to that, a high but stable ground isn’t so bad.

Dipper got into a fistfight with Wendy’s boyfriend over teenage drama, but good on him for standing up for himself.

 June 26

For some reason Gideon has gotten it into himself that he wants the Mystery Shack now.

Good luck, kid. I’m a better conman than you’ll ever be.

 June 27

Mabel is slightly taller than Dipper. This is funny.

Gideon Gleeful trying to be threatening while throwing a hysterical fit after breaking my new mirror maze – mostly confusing. Wish I knew what went on in that kid’s head.

 June 28

Kids made me wear the golden teeth. Guess they think I’m a dishonest man.

Fortunately, I’m good at bullshitting even when telling the truth. Think I scandalized the poor things. Hilarious.

Could have been disaster, though. Could have easily made them hate me.

 June 29

Spent half the day falling down the Bottomless Pit.

 June 30 Sunday

Summerween, now that’s a respectable local holiday.

Scaring children for fun and profit. Celebrating true evil together with family.

 July 1

Hottest day of the year. Wax Stan was permanently murdered by the weather.

Closed the Shack and went to the municipal pool with the kids.

Gideon stole my perfect pool chair. It’s on.

 July 2

Broke into the pool area at night to get the chair to myself. Which was a good plan, until I wanted to get up later in the day. The pest had coated it with glue.

The kids broke into the pool at night, too. Didn’t ask.

 July 3

Opened the Shack again.

Can’t be too lazy. Tourists to fleece and all that.

 July 4

 July 5

Mabel bet she could run the Shack better than I can. Well. I’m nothing if not a gambler.

So, three days of vacation, in which I will make more money than she will make running the Shack. Winner takes the Shack, loser sings a silly song.

Best case scenario, she learns something about business and stops complaining. Worst case, she actually makes money and then runs the Shack for me the rest of the summer. Not bad.

 July 6

Made it past the line to be a contestant on Cash Wheel, using my Old Man powers and lack of common decency.

Why is it so hard to sleep

 July 7 Sunday

Well. I lost at Cash Wheel.

Guess that means I lost the bet with Mabel, too. Unless I go rob a bank or something in the time I have left. Hm.

 July 8

Turns out Mabel barely broke even when running the Shack. She did win the bet, but she didn’t want my job, no surprise there.

I’m proud of her for learning something.

She still made me sing that song. On video tape. It’s kinda catchy.

 July 9

Mabel’s friends came for a sleepover. They make a lot of noice.

 July 10

Soos managed to uncover the door to Ford’s that old study I sealed thirty years ago the very moment the kids demanded separate bedrooms.

I never wanted to see that room again. His glasses were still there

Guess they didn’t want the room in the end, but now it’s open. Can’t re-seal it.

I think they messed around with the freaky carpet. Took it away at the end of the day just in case.

 July 11

I fucked up, but I fixed it.

I got Mabel’s pig back, even when I had to punch a pterodactyl in the face for it.

She doesn’t hate me.

I love that kid so much.

 July 12

That weird egg I pocketed from the dino-cave hatched. Dipper says it’s a compo-whatnot.

I call him Compy. He’s now my Mystery Pet.

 July 13

Soos’ birthday. The kids tried to throw a party, which is. Bad idea.

Think he appreciated laser tag, though. And the magic pizza they got him. Never seen him so happy on a birthday.

 July 14 Sunday

Turns out Compy is a very tiny dragon. Hoards stuff, mostly cash. In places I can’t reach.

It’s no good. Gonna hand the chicken-lizard over to farmer Sprott first thing in the morning before he bankrupts me.

 July 15

Mabel and her friends went to some boy band concert. Got back late with a large pack of spoils. Probably robbed someone.

Wendy’s boyfriend is charming her with homemade music. Dipper suspects magic. Can’t rule that out.

 July 16

There was a hypnotic message in the music, but telling Wendy about it only made the teenage drama worse.

Went bowling with Dipper afterwards to cheer him up. Should have a chat with Wendy, too.

 July 17

Gideon   I’m   How could

Didn’t know Gideon was that serious.

As if half-lucid dreams about that yellow triangle wasn’t bad enough. (The kids know something. Not asking. I want them to stay away from that stuff.)

We’re staying with Soos as I panic figure out how to fix this.

 July 18

I can’t fix this.

Gideon’s got the whole town eating out of his hand and I’m just a grouchy old man.

Doing the responsible thing. Got bus tickets to send the kids home tomorrow.

Whatever I do next, don’t want them to watch.

 July 19

GIDEON IS A LITTLE SHIT AND I AM AWESOME.

Figured out his trick, proved it in public and now he’s in jail.

Got the Shack back. Got the kids back.

And. Get this. Gideon had one of Ford’s missing journals. I have it now.

 July 20

I can’t believe it. Dipper. Had the third journal all summer.

All three of the dumb books are right here in front of me.

I activated the Portal. Simple as anything.

It’s scanning for Ford right now.

I’m actually bringing him back.

 July 21 Sunday

Grand reopening of the Mystery Shack turned into a zombie-fest.

Kids could’ve died because I was too busy with the Portal to pay attention. That won’t happen again.

Should have talked to them about weirdness sooner. Hope they believed me when I said I have no more secrets.

A little worried that government might have picked up signals from the Portal.

 July 22

Repairing the Shack. Too much undead slime to attract tourists like this.

 July 23

Re-reopened the Shack.

Dipper got himself an old laptop computer from somewhere. Probably stolen. He tried to hide it.

 July 24

Went minigolfing with the kids.

Mabel challenged Pacifica Northwest to a duel at midnight. I’m so proud of her.

Letting kids into minigolf courts at night to take a rich snob down a few pegs – finally putting my skills to good use.

 July 25

I still can’t believe the Portal works.

It keeps scanning.

 July 26

Tried to bring old Goldie back to the gift shop but apparently he’s unhip and scary. Had to throw him away before the parents sued me.

What I do need is a singing animatronic robot badger. That’s what kids like these days.

 July 27

Soos missed work for the first time ever. Seems to be girl trouble, but the kids are handling it.

Would’ve stolen myself a robot badger if it hadn’t tried to kill me. Saved by old Goldie. No way I’m not keeping him now.

 July 28 Sunday

Went for a Vegas vacation because I deserve it.

Not because I’m nervous.

Brought Goldie, might have gotten slightly drunk. And slightly married.

 July 29

Mabel found herself a new obsession with hand puppets.

She’ll throw a big show on Friday. Made me rent Gravity Falls theatre for her. (Can’t believe I did that.)

 July 30

The Shack is full of sock puppets and kids and Mabel keeps singing.

Guess this is my life now.

 July 31

 August 1

Soos went to his cousin’s wedding with his new girlfriend. Good on him.

Mabel’s still obsessing about puppets.

Dipper looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Can’t blame him with all this ruckus.

 August 2

Play was good! Think it paid for the costs, too. Mabel’s got showmanship.

Don’t get the ending, though.

I mean. Children fighting always makes for good footage, but was it necessary to beat Dipper up that bad? I swear Mabel don’t know how strong she is.

A little worried about Dipper. He seemed high as a kite all day. Probably sleep deprivation. At least he’s sleeping now.

 August 3

 August 4 Sunday

Gravity’s going more crazy around the Portal the longer it’s on, but I don’t care.

It hasn’t found Ford yet.

It won’t find him if he’s dead

 August 5

The Portal ate my notebook.

Got a nasty cut on the back of my hand from some debris, too. Could have been worse.

 August 6

Tried to advertise the Mystery Shack for the kids at the Woodstick Festival. Hilarious disaster.

Being feared is worth more than being loved anyway.

 August 7

 August 8

IT FOUND HIM.

He’s alive. There’s a lock on his position.

Fuck I don’t  I have to

I know how it works. It needs to calibrate for a while. It needs to be fueled for the big moment.

I’ll go rob a government facility right now.

(So glad the kids are off at the Northwest party tonight.)

27 hours and then I’ll see him again.

 August 9

Ford is back.

I had to run from the feds and the kids found out everything the wrong way but it worked and he’s back.

But he doesn’t  He still hates me.  

Why would I expect anything else.

Don’t know what I’d do with myself if the kids weren’t here.

It’s fine. I fucked up everything, but. Mabel trusts me. Dipper forgives me. I’m fine.

not crying

 August 10 Sunday

The Shack needs repairs again.

Spent most of the day making Duck-tective finale preparations with Mabel. We had fun.

Told the kids to stay away from Ford.

 August 11

Dipper has predictably decided to be nerd friends with my brother.

Can’t stop him. He looks happy. Both of them do.

Still can’t figure out why Ford would have reality altering dice lying around in his sci-fi pouch.

Anyway. I knew Duck-tective had an evil twin.

 August 12

I hate everything.

Ford will take my his place here soon enough, does he have to undercut me while I’m still here?

I’m running for mayor now.

 August 13

Kids are helping me with a political campaign. Apparently I know nothing about politics and have unpalatable opinions. Bah.

 August 14

The Stump Speech went great! I relax, words happen, people cheer.

Dipper got a lucky tie for me. Think it really works.

 August 15

Should’ve tried being a politician before. Almost feels like people like me.

 August 16

Nope. Politics is not for me. Too much mind control.

Should’ve known it wasn’t me making those speeches.

(The kids shouldn’t get into politics either. Can’t always be there to save them from murder.)

Turns out I’m not mayor material, but I’m a HERO.

Take that, Ford.

 August 17

Rented an RV and took Soos and the kids and Mabel’s friends on a road trip.

Pranking the tourist traps. Good old Mystery Shack tradition for the last time.

Dipper’s practising flirting like a pro.

 August 18 Sunday

Almost got eaten by a spider-woman. That could have gone better.

Have to admit, the kids are heroes too.

Don’t think Ford noticed we were gone.

 August 19

Opened the Mystery Shack for the final stretch.

Two more weeks, then I’m gone for good.

 August 20

Made a good deal on illegal pugs. Still got it.

Ford and Dipper put some magic mojo on the Shack. Not gonna ask.

Might have something to do with how badly Ford is sleeping.

 August 21

Ten days left until the kids’s birthday and the end of summer.

Guess I’m doing a countdown now.

 August 22

Nine days left.

 August 23

Eight days left.

I’m gonna order a ponytail kit.

 August 24

HELL NO I DON’T NEED THIS.

It’s the literal end of the world and the kids are missing.

Suddenly orange skies, goats turning into monsters, the whole shebang. I thought I had enough troubles.

That magic on the Shack seems to be protecting it, but. THE KIDS ARE MISSING. So is Ford.

 ??? 1

Day and night are replaced by eternal glowing orange and every single clock is busted, so no more dates.

Went out looking for the kids, but all I find is other people. Also demons. No sign of Soos or Wendy, either.

Been taking people to the Shack. Safest place on Earth for all I know. I have enough brown meat and elected myself Chief.

The kids are fine. Probably with Ford. That’s the ticket.

 ??? 2

Went out looking again. Found the Northwest girl dressed in nothing but a potato sack. She was crying and I don’t want to know, but she didn’t deserve it.

Been told the head honcho is the yellow triangle. He calls this Weirdmageddon.

Old McGucket showed up more coherent than usual, herding a whole flock of forest creatures into the Shack. Starting to get crowded here.

The kids are fine. Of course they are.

 ??? 3

There’s still people alive out there. I heard cars over at Gleeful’s place.

Didn’t see anyone else.

I’ve lost  I couldn’t even

Mabel and Dipper are definitely still alive. So is Soos and Wendy. And Ford better be.

 ??? 4

They’re alive!

All four of my kids, bursting through the door like cops doing a raid but they’re alive!

Now all I want is for them to stay here and be safe. Why can’t they see that?

I’m done saving my brother’s skin and getting nothing but scorn for it.

Ford made his own bed with that demon. Forget it.

 ??? 5

Did I mention, the plan concocted by five kids, Soos, and a known madman is utterly insane?

They’re rebuilding the Shack. I just had it repaired, too.

It’s my house, but no one’s listening to me.

 ??? 6

I keep having this bad feeling about Ford.

It’s dumb. My brother has made it perfectly clear how he feels about being saved.

 ??? 7

Well then.

Not letting the kids lead an apocalypse rebellion against a demonic triangle without me.

 August 25 Sunday

 August 26

 August 27

 August 28

Huh. I can’t remember writing this, but it does ring a few bells.

It’s like I

I need to talk to Ford.

 August 29

So. The apocalypse is over, and we’re all fine.

We killed the demon by burning my mind out when he was inside, pretty much.

My mind’s still there, but it’s kinda. Well. In need of repair.

Spent a few days reliving good memories.

Turns out there’s more than a few bad ones, too. But.

Everyone is so good to me

I don’t deserve this

 August 30

I remember how Ford looked at me after I brought him back.

Now he acts like  he likes to   he thinks I’m

Now it’s like he’s my brother again.

He said. “Thank you.”

 August 31

The kids have left. I’ll miss them, but I’ll see them again.

Until then, my brother and I are going sailing.