#best pregnancy test 2016

[wosoamazing]

Trying & Trimester 1

Baby x3 | Baby, Baby... Baby?

Summary: The first trimester of pregnancy

Warnings: IVF, Pregnancy (morning sickness at end)

“Bebé, if I have to sit it’s only fair you sit too,” Alexia whined from her position on the couch.

“I’m coming Ale, I am just getting you a hot water bottle,”

“Per què?” 

“You know the answer to that,” you told her as you sat down next to her handing her the hot water bottle which she immediately put on her stomach as she pulled you inside her side.

“Thank you,” she whispered before focusing back on the match you had playing on the screen.

You’d met Alexia when you signed for Barca in 2016, having previously played for Chelsea, you were in the academy there before making your senior team debut in 2013. A month into you being at Barca Alexia asked you out, and a year later you tore your LCL, ACL and your internal meniscus, ending your playing career, and ‘ruining’ Alexia’s proposal plans, however 6 months later Alexia proposed to you and you of course said yes. You were both now happily married and you worked for Barça as the assistant coach for the women’s team. 

—————

“You’re doing IVF now aren’t you?” Mapi asked when you walked out onto the pitch the next day at training. You’d grown close to Mapi over the years, due to her being one of Alexia’s best friends.

“Why do you say that?” you asked.

“You were both away yesterday, Alexia is only doing light training today and she has been snappier than usual for the past two weeks,”

“We are, but we didn’t want to tell anyone other than Eli because we’re not sure if it will work or not,” you admitted and Mapi nodded before hugging you.

“If you need anything just ask,” she told you firmly before going to warm up.

“Bebé, are you feeling okay?” Alexia asked as she emerged from the office, having taken the day off for your egg transfer, only to see you laid on the couch in a foetal position, under a blanket despite the heat. 

“What if it doesn’t work again,” you mumbled, having already tried three times, all three being unsuccessful, you just really wanted a baby and it wasn’t working.

“Then we try again or we look at other options,” she reasoned with you and you nodded, before climbing onto her lap, she wrapped her arms around you tightly placing her chin on top of your head before she felt you start to softly cry, “It will be okay, we’ll be okay,” Alexia said and you were unsure whether she was reassuring your or herself, she was unsure about that too.

“You’ve been having a lot of blood tests lately, are you sure you’re okay?” Aitana asked you as she’d noticed the tape on your arm.

“Yes I’m sure, when they did the first one, some of my levels were out, so they are just doing subsequent ones to check they’ve fixed themselves,” you lied to her, but thankfully she believed you and nodded before walking away.

“Are you okay?” Mapi asked, knowing the real reason why, it was just you and her left in the meeting room.

“I think. We will find out this afternoon, so it’s just a waiting game,” you told her and she nodded giving you a brief hug before you both left the meeting room and headed out to the pitch.

—

You were visiting Eli when you got the email, having stepped foot into the kitchen when you got the notification.

“Ale, Babe, come here,” you said and she was quick to leave her spot on the couch and to be at your side, “it worked?”

“It worked?”

“Sí, look here,” you said as you put the phone in her hands, she looked down to read it and her face softened before she looked back up to you.

“You’re pregnant,” she said quietly.

“We’re having a baby,” and with that she hugged you tightly.

“Felicitats,” Eli said through tears before hugging you both.

“Què està passant? Per què tothom plora? (What’s going on? Why is everyone crying?)” Alba asked as she emerged from her bedroom.

“You’re going to be a Tia,” you told her and her face twisted in confusion before she soon realised and was joining the group hug, starting to cry as well. You messaged your parents to tell them the exciting news, knowing they wouldn’t be able to answer your call currently, before Alexia messaged Mapi to also tell her the news.

Leading up to your six week ultrasound your breasts had started to become more tender and you were peeing a lot more than you used to, which you expect to happen until further into your pregnancy, and it was safe to say the multiple trips to the bathroom every day was getting old fast. It was during your six week ultrasound that you found out you were having multiple babies, it was decided that you would be booked into see a perinatologist, in four weeks, to confirm the number but also make a plan for your pregnancy.

—

“And if you see here we have three babies, who have perfectly split and all have their very own sack,” the perinatologist said as he pointed to the screen, where your three babies were displayed.

“How’s that possible?” Alexia asked in pure shock she knew how it was just crazy.

“It’s a one in a million chance that an egg with split into three, so yes, very rare but it all is looking good, I’ll print those off for you whilst you get cleaned up and then we can talk more about the pregnancy and how we’re going to approach this,”

“Three?” you asked as you looked at Alexia, both still shocked.

“Sí, but we are going to love all of them, we can do this,” she reassured herself.

The perinatologist explained some things to look out for in the pregnancy, he also told you that your symptoms would most likely be worse than a single pregnancy due to having more hormones, which explained why you already needed to pee so much. He spoke more on what conversations and tests would also need to happen further into your pregnancy.

“Bebé,” you heard Alexia say groggily from your position on the bathroom floor, “are you okay?” Before you had the chance to respond you were leaning back over the toilet, “Oh bebé, estic aquí,” Alexia said softly as she positioned herself on the ground behind you, rubbing your back, “do you need anything?” she asked as you collapsed back into her, having finished.

“Stay,” you replied out of breath.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” she said as she settled in more leaning up against the wall before pulling you into her side.

“You were up all night last night with me, and the night before, and the game this weekend is important, you need to be rested,” you said as you sat up again.

“Et tinc, estàs bé,” Alexia murmured as you sat back up to lean over the toilet, once again collapsing back into her once you were done.

“You’re more important than a game bebé and don’t ever think otherwise, if you’re worried about me getting injured I won’t play, you matter more than football does, promesa.” Alexia said and you hummed in reply, “Do you want to go back to bed or stay here? I bought some sick bags this afternoon,” you let out a sigh of relief at that, the stress of accidentally throwing up somewhere other than the toilet could be lowered.

“Bed please,”

Alexia helped you stand up and clean your teeth before she guided you back to the bed. Helping you sit up against the pillows before sitting beside you, wrapping her arm around your shoulders as you rested your head on her shoulder, she placed a sick bag in her lap, so it was easy to grab if you did end up needing it.

“T'estimo,” she said into the crown of your head, placing a kiss there as her hand ran up and down your side.

“I love you too, thank you for helping me, I’m sorry I keep throwing up,”

“Bebé, of course I would help you, and it’s not your fault, you’re growing three little babies in there. But I still think we talk to the doctor, just incase it doesn’t go away,”

[kpopcafeeee]

𝐀 𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 ⚾️

➪𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐝! 𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨 𝐱 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

➪𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝, 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫, 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐧'𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦. 𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧.?

➪𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐲, 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚

➪𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫:

➪ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @deltamoon666 , @chngbnwf , @soso59love-blog , @cara-rey , @nanaspeaches , @sannieily , @jaerisdiction , @txpxwxk , @yothangie , @darkerrdaze

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐

2021

As you settle into your new home with your son and sister , it’s almost surreal to think how far you’ve come. There were times when the future seemed uncertain, especially as a single mom with only your sister to lean on—her job making it possible for you to stay home with your baby. Now, with your son turning 5 and a trustworthy babysitter in place whenever you’re sister was not home, you’ve gained a sense of stability you once thought was out of reach. Yet, no matter how much time passes your concern for your child remains the same forever.

But sometimes, when you look at your son, you’re reminded of Yunho, a man you once cherished and loved deeply, only to be let down by his pursuit of fame. In 2016 when you discovered you were pregnant with Ye Joon, you were hesitant to tell Yunho because he was eager to wait before starting a family. Fearing that your news would upset him, you kept it to yourself. As morning sickness worsened Yunho noticed something was off. Despite your attempts to hide the truth he urged you to take a pregnancy test. In a moment of desperation you used water instead of urine, hoping to avoid revealing your secret. When you handed him the test, his face brightened as he saw the negative result. “You’re not pregnant” he said with a relieved smile. “Yeah” you replied forcing a smile to mask the truth. “I guess you were just sick. I’ll make your favorite soup for you baby” he added, kissing your forehead and hugging you.

You regret hiding Ye Joon from his father, but was there really a choice? Telling Yunho would have upset him, and with his career keeping him so busy, you knew he wouldn’t have time for either you or your child. You couldn’t bear the thought of being a burden or adding to his stress, so you made the decision you believed was best for everyone: to raise Ye Joon as a single mother. Now, you find yourself living a life you never expected, grappling with the consequences of choices made in the name of protecting both Yunho and your son. Sometimes there’s good times but most of the times there’s been bad times and even worse but that’s old memories we are In the present were your in a new environment with your son and your number 1 supporter your sister and life was good for a year.

Present

You would always take Ye Joon to school and watch his practice sessions whenever your work schedule allowed. Even if you couldn’t attend every game, your sister was there to support him, showing him how much both of you loved and were proud of him. One day, after practice, you noticed your sister seemed unnervingly shocked. Concerned, you wondered what could have happened.The reason for her shock became clear over dinner when Ye Joon excitedly shared the news. “Mama, we have new coaches from a famous league staying to coach us! They’re really cool, and I know all their names. Do you want to hear them?” he asked with a bright smile “Of course, sunshine,” you replied, smiling back “Okay, so we have Coach Jung, Coach Kang, Coach Choi, and Coach Jeong. They’re all amazing!” Ye Joon said, proudly listing their names. The name “Jeong” hit you hard, and you glanced at your sister, trying to confirm the truth. She nodded slowly, her expression reflecting your shock. “Mama, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost, like Auntie?” Ye Joon asked, his little face full of confusion.“It’s nothing, sweetheart,” you said, forcing a smile. “We’re just surprised by how cool your new coaches are.” “Yeah, bud,” your sister chimed in with a smile, “we’re just amazed at how great your coaches are. Now, eat up before your food gets cold.” She picked up her utensils and began to eat, trying to mask her own concern.

After putting Ye Joon to bed, you went downstairs to talk to your sister about what happened at Ye Joon’s practice. You were anxious to know whether Yunho recognized her or noticed any resemblance in Ye Joon. As you sat on the couch in your living room, you asked, “Did he recognize you?” “Luckily, no, thanks to my dyed hair,” she replied, pointing to her now different hair color.“Yeah, luckily,” you said, still feeling a bit concerned. “Don’t worry. He probably doesn’t even realize the kid looks like him,” your sister reassured you, patting your shoulder. “I’m going to sleep now, and you should too. We have a fun day tomorrow,” she said, heading upstairs to her room. You stayed downstairs for a little while, sipping some wine and reflecting on the situation. Eventually, you went to bed, trying to push the worries from your mind as you drifted off to sleep.

Waking to the sound of your alarm in the morning, you find yourself in a cold bed, yearning for someone you can’t quite say the name of. As you get up and head downstairs to start breakfast, you discover that it’s already on the table.

Standing proudly by the table are your sister and Ye Joon, beaming at their creation. “Mama, do you like the breakfast Auntie and I cooked for all of us?” Ye Joon asks, his face alight with pride. “Of course I do, sunshine!” you reply, excitement in your voice. “He really wanted to help cook, so I let him. But I did most of the work” your sister adds in a sarcastic tone, grinning. “Auntie, that’s not true! I helped a lot—I did most of it!” Ye Joon protests, disbelief written all over his face.

You chuckle at their playful exchange. “Fine, fine, we both worked hard to make breakfast for all of us. How about that, Joonie?” your sister says, negotiating with the eight year old. “Hmm, okay! Now let’s eat before the food gets cold,” Ye Joon declares. “And before Mamas food gets cold, too, and she can’t eat it” he adds with a giggle. “Right, let’s dig into this delicious breakfast you guys cooked” you say, sitting down and taking a bite of the pancakes on your plate.

You’re working peacefully on some papers when your phone starts to ring. “Hello?” you answer, confused. “Is this Y/L/N, Ye Joon’s mother?” an unknown man asks. “Yes, is there something wrong?” you reply. “Hi, I’m Coach Jang. Your son got into a fight with one of his teammates,” the coach says. “I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” you say, quickly getting up from your desk and hanging up the phone. And speed walking to your car quickly to get to the school. As you approach the nurse’s office by the field, you see the back of your son’s jersey. He’s holding an ice pack to his lip. “Ye Joon!” you call out, running past a tall figure to reach your child.“Mama!” your son says, turning around. You kneel in front of him, checking his body to make sure nothing is broken or bruised except for his swollen upper lip. “What happened, baby?” you ask, holding his face in your hands.“One of my teammates told me I couldn’t pitch right, and he threw a ball at my leg, so I taught him a lesson,” Ye Joon says, pouting. You glance to his left and see a kid crying, with dirt smeared on his face and clothes, his cheeks flushed red. “Y/L/N Ye Joon, you shouldn’t handle things like that. You should’ve told one of your coaches. Don’t put your hands on anyone else, and go say sorry, okay?” you scold gently. “Okay, Mama,” he replies, pouting. He turns and walks up to the kid, apologizing. After forgiving each other, they start talking about their favorite TV shows and their favorite toys. “Y/N,” a familiar voice calls from behind you. You turn around, and your heart sinks to the bottom of your stomach. It’s Yunho, the father of your child, staring at you in shock to see you with one of the kids he’s been training. Your sister, arriving at the scene, freezes as she sees the name on the jersey of the man that you’re staring at in shock. Just then, the other boy’s mother approaches, bowing deeply and apologizing for her son’s behavior. “It’s not your fault,” you assure her, trying to defuse the situation. You exchange polite words before she left, the air thick with unresolved tension and the realization that this encounter is just the beginning.

A/N: it seems boring at first but the drama and tea are brewing and it’s getting hot so stay tuned and keep reading and dm if you want to be added to the taglist!☺️😏💕💕

PLEASE DO NOT COPYRIGHT, OR PLAGIARISE!

➪ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐: @deltamoon666 , @chngbnwf , @soso59love-blog , @cara-rey , @nanaspeaches , @sannieily

MADE BY KPOPCAFEEE ©

[kellyvela]

Do you think you would be as big of a Sophie Turner fan as you are based on her other works alone and not Sansa? I ask b/c i think many ST fans (myself included) have become biased in Sophie's favor and tbh not sure she deserves the unwavering support she gets simply b/c she played Sansa Stark.

Sophie's Vogue interview was a shock b/c the lies she told that could be easily disproven as well as being incredibly disrespectful to her kids. Throwing the pregnancy test to her husband and then contemplating abortion b/c her 20s were a time to be frivolous - what was the point in making that story public? All it does is hurt her daughter who will no doubt be bullied by her classmates once they learn how to Google. Sophie is not a planned parenthood ambassador so really the story was fruitless to make public. She should have waited until her daughter is old enough so she hears it from her mother first then if ST decides to share it fine but to do it this way seems selfish and disrespectful to her daughter. The other albeit frivolous lie she told was how she was so used to going with her ex to the LV shows yet last year she clearly went by herself and she went by herself in 2016 when she went for the first time.

Lastly, Sophie's whole having fun dating lie. Sophie lied about barely dating b/c a simple Google search (2019) shows that she said she said on the record that she dated so much that she was ready to marry. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but her actions say otherwise. Sophie soft launched Peregrine at her first public work event not even 2 months when her divorced was filed. Her brothers and dad are huge rugby fans, why did she take someone she barely started dating or is being frivolous with where he would be photographed? Celebs don't take flings to places where getty photographers are esp in the middle of a divorce/custody battle unless the guy is serious. But what shocked me was when she deleted her IG post to launch Peregrine. If her marriage was already crumbling why did she do an IG story wishing her then husband a happy birthday (in a gushy way right after their fight) then then proceeded to do an IG post where she's kissing his hand which she only deleted to post her ski post with Peregrine and his friends?

I will always love Sansa esp book Sansa. I say that b/c maybe you can provide counter points to everything I said which is why i'm doing the ask. Sansa is an amazing character that deserves love and Sophie well for as fun and cool as she appears to be, her actions show she's prob the exact opposite of Sansa.

Maybe a lot of Sophie fans love her mainly because she played Sansa Stark, but in my particular case, I started loving Sansa Stark because of Sophie Turner.

But right now, I care about Sophie Turner for more reasons than Sansa Stark. Since Game of Thrones aired the irrational and undeserved hate for Sansa Stark that surpassed the fiction to reality and became irrational, undeserved hate and bullying for the actress, made me very protective of Sophie Turner. So I decided to love her even more, and protect her, and defend her, and support her career after Game of Thrones, and wish for her happiness and wellbeing.

I'm not saying she's perfect and never did wrong, but I won't judge her because at the end of the day I don't know her personally, I don't know her reasons, I don't know her circumstances, she's not my best friend.

Now, about the *lies easily disproven* and being *incredibly disrespectful to her kids,* that is your opinion, and I doubt whatever I can say to you will change that opinion.

It would be easy to argue every one of your critics and accusations against Sophie, but I think it's pointless, not only because you can think whatever you want, but because you pretty much sound like one of those Sophie haters from Twitter that is really a fan of her ex.

However, I recommend you to actually read/re-read the interview and stop repeating the clickbait headlines that took lines without context and/or twisted her words.

Have a good day.

[boldlyvoid]

No Longer Alone Together

Part One | Masterlist

Sunday, November 27th, 2022: The Recap

She’s standing in the bathroom, it’s a cold November morning, evident by how frigid the tiles are on her bare feet. She’s up because the kids are in her bed now, Spencer isn’t home, the world is still quiet but her mind was not. She has so much to do, she doesn’t feel good at all and she thinks she knows exactly why… its just the worst time ever to go through the first trimester again. 

Last December it was hectic as all hell with 3 kids. Atlas turned 7 just 5 days before Christmas, his birthday always took priority over the month, but this year she was nervous she wouldn’t be able to give him all the attention he deserves… Not when she’s currently gripping the kitchen sink like her life depends on it, nauseous as ever, waiting for this pregnancy test to tell her what she already knows. 

They weren’t actively trying… though, when were they ever? They’ve never used protection in their time together, resulting in Atlas in 2014, Noelle in February 2016 and little Luna in September 2019. There was a big gap between having Luna and taking this pregnancy test… not that they weren’t having sex in that time, they were just too busy dealing with COVID and zoom school and young immune systems every single day for almost 3 years. 

Life was stressful enough as it was with 3 kids under 10, they didn’t need a newborn on top of it all while the world was shut down… at least Y/N didn’t want that right now.

On the other hand, Spencer was sharing his seed with anyone who asked for it.

She liked to phrase it that way as if it wasn’t just her best friend and her wife who wanted Spencer’s sperm to have a genius family of their own. It always made her laugh to see people's reactions to finding out Spencer now had 2 kids with another woman and that Y/N babysat said baby from time to time. 

At the height of the pandemic, Emily and Laura were locked away in their DC mansion wishing they had a baby or two to share their time with… Laura always knew they wanted to be pregnant one day, she was fully ready to book an appointment with a clinic and look through books of donors when the world shut down. 

Emily, ever the planner, said: “if you want a smart and cute kid, we should ask Spencer to be our donor and we’ll do it right here at home, just me and you and the turkey baster.” 

Only the last part was a joke… until the device they bought to help do the inseminating looked a lot like a turkey baster. 

Emily and Spencer always joked about being siblings separated at birth, she cared for him like a big sister and he’d kill for her if he had to. He almost did during the Scratch era of their hell job… So when Emily asked Spencer if he’d ever considered donating his sperm to help her make a family, he didn’t have to think too hard about it. 

Asking Y/N if she was okay with it was the hard part for him, for some reason he really thought she’d have a problem with it… but it was actually quite fun helping him provide a sample in a cup. With Emily and Laura doing it on their own without doctors' help, not wanting to go to a doctor's office during the pandemic, it took a few tries, and then they had Peter Joseph, better known around their house as little PJ, in February 2021. 

Now Laura is pregnant again, at 35 weeks currently and on baby watch for all of Christmas, her due date is 1st of January, 2023 but you can’t really expect a second baby to come on time… the BAU family was all placing bets on just when this new Prentiss baby was going to join their ranks, Y/N thinks the baby might even get to share a birthday with Atlas. 

Derek also had a son right after they had Noelle. Hank Spencer Morgan was adorable, it must come with the name. JJ and Will had Michael not too long after, rounding their total to 3 kids which made them try for Luna to even it up again. 

Before Spence left the FBI for good, they had a few new members join too, one of which was a lovely man named Matt who had a wife and 4 kids, they had their 5th right before Spencer quit— literally about a month before the accident that decided it all for them. 

Much like JJ and Will, they had agreed early on that if things at work got to be too much, if what happened with Hotch ever started to happen to them, then Spencer would quit. They never expected it to actually happen, then Spencer was caught in an explosion, he went down hard and came home feeling fine. But he wasn’t fine. 

Finding Spencer unconscious on the floor was the scariest thing she’s ever been through and poor Atlas saw it too. 

They called 911, and Spencer was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance while she had to stay behind with the kids and wait for someone to come and watch them before she could follow him. It took 20 minutes for Will to show up, 20 minutes that felt like hell on earth, and then she was at his bedside for 2 days. 

With Diana and Liam there too, they held Spencer's hands after surgery and waited way too long to see if he’d ever wake up again. It was a slow brain bleed, he was lucky his wife was coming home to find him, otherwise who knows how long he would’ve been on the floor, waiting for help, unable to ask for it himself. 

He didn’t go back to work after that, he recovered at home with his babies and decided that he was going to stay there with them for good. He loved being a stay-at-home dad, it allowed Y/N to take up more hours at the museum again and he got to do crafts and take adventures and watch them grow up. It was fun until the kids both started school, Luna was still really little and day trips to the science centre and big crafts weren’t really her speed. He was bored most of the days when the house was empty and quiet during nap times…

So he wrote a book. 

Almost like an autobiography, he took the things that happened to him in his first few years of being an agent and turned it into a Sherlock Holmes-style novel. Retelling the adventures of Dr. Sebastian Reeves and his colleagues at the FBI, getting caught in the middle of a serial killer's sick games… Fishing For A King was published on October 14th, 2021 and the sequel, Where Dead Men Rise was just released, taking Spencer away on his first-ever book tour around the country. 

Which is why he’s not home currently. He’s not beside her for the first time ever as she takes a pregnancy test… Instead, he’s doing book signings, TED talks and being interviewed by every news outlet in North America. And tomorrow he’s on Jimmy fucking Fallon. What?? It was insane how much their little life has changed since 2013.  

You see, normally when they planned for a baby they were testing all the time, they always caught it early… this time they didn’t plan at all, she wasn’t testing because she didn’t expect it at all but then the nightmares started up again. Her boobs hurt, she could smell everything from a mile away and she wanted to cry all day long over everything and nothing at all… she knew exactly when she got pregnant too, and even joked about it right after he pulled out for a matter of fact… 

They had some of the best sex of their life at the start of Spencer's press tour thanks to Aunty Penny who watched the kids so she could go to New York with him. It was the first time in 7 years that they’d been completely alone for more than a few hours and they spent all of their free time in bed. Of course, she got pregnant, and they were so fucking happy, it was just like in the beginning. 

The test is positive. 

The brightest positive she’s ever seen, too, seeing as it’s been over a month since she saw Spencer last, she was a lot more pregnant now than she was with any of the other kids, when she saw their first positive tests it was after 1-2 weeks… right now she’s about 8 or 9 weeks pregnant. 

She’s going to have 4 kids. 

They’re going to be a family of 6. 

They were catching up to the Simmons, slowly but surely… hopefully, this isn’t twins cause then they’d match up perfectly. 

She puts the test in the cabinet behind the mirror, knowing the kids can’t get into it so they’d never see it. They knew what it was, at least the older two did. Being 6 and almost 8, they remembered when she was pregnant with Luna in 2019. They had their dad’s memory after all. 

The kids are up and in her bed, the girls cuddled into each side of their brother as he holds their iPad in the middle, his legs crossed with his cute little toes moving to the music on his show. She found a cartoon Santa Clause series from the early 2000s and put it on for them, they have watched almost the whole first season in the last few days. It’s so cute seeing them so peaceful and happy together, getting excited for their favourite time of year. 

They’ve been sleeping in bed with her a lot without daddy being home. They wanted to call him the moment they woke up, but being in LA now meant they couldn’t. They didn’t understand at first, so she had to get out the globe from Spencer’s office and taught them about timezones and how the earth moves around the sun while rotating on an axis, making a 24-hour day.  

Holding her phone flashlight up, she pretended it was the sun in their very dark room (it was 6am.) they understood from then on that when daddy was on the other side of America, he was 3 hours behind them and probably still asleep, so they had to wait for him to wake up and call them.

“You guys hungry?” She asks as she walks back over to the bed. 

They all nod and scramble to pause their video so they can jump out of bed and race her down the stairs. They each get their choice between Eggos and scrambled eggs or cereal and fruit, she ends up making them all scrambles and waffles with some cut-up grapes and orange juice just to round it into a full meal. 

Thanks to an episode of the Waltons one night, the kids have started saying a sort of grace before every meal.

“Dear father, we miss you, we hope you’re having a good day in Los Angeles and that mommy lets us watch your interview show tomorrow,” Atlas leads. 

“And bring us back something cool,” Noelle teases with a smirk. 

“Can he hear us when we do this?” Luna whispers across the table to her big brother who just shrugs, having no clue what they’re doing, they just want to wish their dad a good day while he’s gone. 

She doesn’t have the heart to tell them that they say dear father as a way to talk to god, to bless their family and their food and insure that good things come to them… they weren’t a religious household in the slightest, but if the kids wanted to be spiritual in their own way and send a blessing out for their dad, who was she to stop them? 

They have little conversations with each other that just amaze her, she somehow created 3 amazing little geniuses with the biggest hearts to match. Much like her, Atlas was into dinosaurs for a while, he was often asking to come to work with her on weekends and snow days off from school, he would give anything to dig something up and learn about it all day. He collects rocks, he knows everything about space and the moon (which is just a big rock) and he plans to work at the Smithsonian one day too… just on the Air and Space side. 

And he probably will, seeing as he has his dad's genius brain after all. He’ll probably be able to get a Ph.D. or two by the time he’s 25. 

Noelle is more into learning how things work and move, she loves the cars movie franchise and thus all things with wheels. She’s been spending a lot of time with Henry and Michael, playing Tony Hawk games on the play station which caused them to build a skate ramp in the backyard while Will wasn’t looking and using her as the test dummy. 

She broke her arm in 2 places and the cast comes off next week, with just enough time for Spencer to come home and sign it before they cut it off. 

Luna, on the other hand, she wouldn’t be caught dead near a bike or anything that can get her dirty. She’s always been very meticulous, she learned fine motor skills long before she wanted to walk, which wasn’t helpful when babies also love putting things in their mouths. Spencer’s knowledge of CPR came in handy a few times, unfortunately. Now she’s 4 and her attention to detail is mainly spent on legos which she has learned don’t go in her nose, mouth, ears or anything thing that’s not lego branded… 

She has the LEGO art pieces that match the art at mom's work, they’re her favourite. She’s also started to draw a lot, she was probably going to be their artist. 

The 3 of them are so incredibly different yet so wondrously alike. They absorb knowledge like a sponge, they respect each other's talk time, and they butt heads often, but they never hate each other. Fights never last long. They end with hugs and apologies and understanding that they’re all learning how to be good people and mistakes are bound to happen. 

That was always their fear when they became parents; that their kids wouldn’t get along. You see, not having siblings meant that Y/N and Spencer didn’t know what it was like. From what they knew about JJ, she took her sister for granted till it was too late and wished every day that she still had her around. Then there’s Hotch, he loved his brother but they were so different and had such an age difference that now they never talk. 

They didn’t want that for their own kids. So seeing them so happy together, they were best friends and co-conspirators, 3 unstoppable forces that could band together within the blink of an eye… How was she going to add a 4th to their already perfect group without it disrupting everything?

“Are you guys excited for Aunt Laura to have her baby soon?” She cuts into the lull in their conversations, thinking that was a good segue. She wanted to know their thoughts on having another baby in the family without asking them outright. 

“I’m excited,” Luna answers with a sweet smile, “I want it to be a girl cousin.” 

“Me too,” Noelle agrees. “Mama, do they know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?” 

“I’m not sure,” she genuinely didn’t know. “I think they’re keeping it a surprise.” 

“Like a present,” Luna says, often vocalizing every thought she had, as always. 

“Yeah… speaking of, on December first we’ll really start to celebrate, but what if we used this time while daddy is away to go get his Christmas presents?”  

“So we don’t have to worry about him seeing it?” Atlas completely understood and his smile told her he was on board. 

She nods, “yeah, we can go out today if you guys want?” 

They all chant a very enthusiastic yes, bouncing in their seats with excitement. 

They celebrate Christmas and a little bit of Hanukkah with Emily and Laura most years, the All-idays party was also coming up, which meant they all had to get another present for that… before they get dressed and ready to head out, she keeps them at the kitchen table with a piece of lined paper and asks them what kind of gifts they want to get for their family members. 

“Because Christmas is about a lot more than just a man in a red suit giving you guys things, it’s about showing everyone in your life how much you love them, as well,” mom explains, like every Christmas, but this year they seem to understand it a lot better.  

For white elephant they each had to bring in a gift, something that could be picked and stolen and loved by the person who eventually ends up with it. So they had to brainstorm some really good gift ideas that everyone else in their family group would like.

Each year the list of guests gets longer, this year there are 10 cousins, possibly 11 depending on when Laura goes into labour, and that’s not even including Y/N’s 3. Soon to be 4. 

Thats 15 BAU kids… 16 if you count Jack, but they’re not coming this year, perfectly happy back in Seattle with Hailey’s extended family. 

They needed to also consider all their aunts, uncles, and grandparents… it was so many people. Thank god uncle Dave had a big house. 

They get all bundled up for their trip to the mall and go over their rules of being out in public on the drive over. They have to always be touching the kart or holding each other's hands, they can’t walk away from Mommy even if they’re excited about something, they have to bring her to the excitement so she doesn’t lose them. And they know scary people do exist and not everyone out there is kind for good reasons. They’re hyper-vigilant, they stick together and they’re always rewarded with a sweet treat at the end of the day because of it. 

Spencer calls when they’re in the middle of the game store, shopping for the older kids, like Henry, Jake or David, getting them a new game for the switch, which everyone has. She has to decline the call cause the store is too loud and hectic, sending him a quick text saying they’re out right now and she’ll call back soon… but with so many things in her hands and 3 kids to watch over all alone. 

She forgets until they’re home later that night, after getting dinner at Mcdonald's in front of the TV, they’re watching Harry Potter for the first time when Daddy calls again. 

Atlas sees her phone light up with Spencer’s face behind the FaceTime caller ID, she’s in the kitchen cleaning ketchup off Noelle's cast, so he picks up for his mom. 

“Hi, daddy,” he brightens right up, Luna comes running to his side, shouting his name at him with excitement. 

“Hello munchkins, where have you been? Mama said she’d call me earlier and then she never did?” 

“We went out and then got McDonald's,” he turns the FaceTime around and shows the carpet picnic happening in front of the TV. “Mom is helping Noa get some ketchup off her cast, it fell out of her burger and landed right on it.” 

“We should sue McDonald's, then I guess,” he teases making them laugh. “Did you have fun at the mall? Did you get any gifts for Grandma and Grandpa?” 

“And for you but we can’t tell you what it is,” Atlas explains, “we promised mommy.” 

“Yeah, pinky promised,” Luna gives even more detail. “And you know about those…” 

“I’m so excited to open it, do you know how many days there are till Christmas left?” Spencer asks, they’ve been counting down since after Thanksgiving. 

They take the phone running into the kitchen, where the countdown exists on the fridge, showing him that there were 27 days left. 

“What are you— oh gosh, Spence, I’m sorry, I never called you back!” Y/N calls out when she realizes what the kids are doing with her phone. 

She’s drying off her hands before she lifts Noelle off the counter and back to the ground, Atlas hands her the phone and Spencer explains how it’s fine, he just wanted to check-in. They catch up in the kitchen for a few moments alone, only to go back out to the living room and finish dinner. The movie is paused, and they set him up on her laptop instead of the phone, the kids all sharing memories from the day with their dad… they missed him so much, they never wanted to hang up but it was bedtime.  

“I miss you, daddy,” Luna sighed, resting her head on her brother's shoulder so they could all fit in the frame. 

“I miss you, too, looney tunes,” he tries not to get too choked up. “Just a couple more days and then I’m coming home and I’m snuggling you all for hours, you’re going to be sick of me with how much love I’m going to give you.” 

She laughs because she knows it’s true, she’s heard him cry on the phone too many times about having, what he could only equate to mom guilt, about not being home with them again when they’re so used to it. He missed them. He missed watching them grow. He felt horrible that he wasn’t there for Noelle in the hospital when she got her cast, he missed Halloween, Thanksgiving and Henry's birthday… he felt horrible without them. 

But the kids have school tomorrow, so they can’t stay up late to talk to their daddy. He lets them go just in time to have a bath and head to bed, only to call back 2 hours later that for his alone time with his wife. She answers with her headphones in, all 3 kids in her bed on Spencers side, missing him too much to sleep alone, sound asleep all cuddled into each other already. 

They whisper their goodnights, he reminds her just how much he loves her and sends her a kiss all the way from the other side of America. “Did you get it?” He whispers, even though he didn’t have to. 

She nods, touching her cheek with a smile. “I love you, Spence… Thursday can’t come fast enough.”

[thekimspoblog]

Responding to a comment on my latest drabble.

Here is an abridged version of the timeline:

Seasons 1-5 and the first couple episodes of Season 6 happened. Then on June 10, 2004, Kim had an extremely vivid dream (quite uncharacteristic of her) loosely based on this short film: https://youtu.be/8v87Pqi3gCc?si=yNHge91wQ_0SbilX That was my "Sheepdog" fetish fic. The test came back negative, but it did get Kim thinking; re-evaluating what she wanted. Then Howard was murdered, and the pregnancy scare was just one more reason this situation suddenly seemed so unsalvageable. Then Breaking Bad happened. Then in 2010, the final events of "Saul Gone" occurred. And frankly none of what Saul did even mattered; whether it was ethical, whether it was respectful of the justice system. Because all the while Kim was having a more abstract struggle, with God, time, and the narrators. She might not remember everything that happened in the dream, but she still wakes up with a splinter in her brain, a feeling like another reality is knocking at the door. Between 2010 and 2016, they were both lying low. Both on their best behavior. But as Jerry Seinfeld famously said, "Never bet against the backslide". Because Glenn is fucking useless, and CFLA may be a worthy cause, but it brings with it the same frustrations that trying to defend the disenfranchised from a fundamentally corrupt system always have.

Finally, starting in 2016 we get my magnum opus (which I haven't written yet): An eight episode sequel fic: "Slippin' Kimmy Season 1". I won't give it all away, but it starts with Kim promising she's figured out how to get Jimmy out on parole, and ends with them as the de facto leaders of a Unitarian church. And somewhere in between all those events, is a moment where Kim is given the chance to bury the hatchet with her mother. The story I want to tell is mostly focused on themes of faith, magic, and political radicalization, specifically from a feminist perspective in a country that is increasingly hostile to women. I want to borrow a lot from the aesthetic of horror classics from the 70's.

"August 2017" is a short fic, set after the events of Season 1. That one was mostly more domestic fluff and pregnancy fetishism, with only minor angst about waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I don't have Season 2 mapped out as much, and this snippit is set sometime during that, so that's why it's so vague. But we know Kim's portrayal as an action hero is going to continue to escalate. And Bob Odenkirk is clearly getting sick of playing this character and wants to be written out permanently, so by Season 2 I'm happy to oblige... but we know Iris is going to blame Kim for whatever happens.

We skip around a lot in the timeline. We see Iris as an adult, trying to continue to survive and fight the good fight in the post-climate change/post-American fascism world they've inherited. We see how their bond with their sister is the only real relationship they have. And ultimately, I'm hoping things will come full circle: there's this idea I keep toying with that thematically, Iris is still carrying around a fragment of Howard's soul. And if Iris really wants to be at peace, they're going to have to accept that maybe they can't be the hero their parents had raised them to be.

#overeagerlyexplainingmywholeheadcannontoyou

[thickness-protection-program]

Hoe Phase Story Time:

I was a virgin until I was seventeen. My "high school sweetheart" was a geek and virgin just like me. We dated on and off and he took me to prom and we remained friends after graduation.

Two years later, we reconnect and start dating again. We had sex in the back of his truck and I don't think I ever even went into his house but like once. We were really good friends, but not soulmates.

I got pregnant in 2016.

This was a complete accident since I didn't have the money for a plan B that weekend. I took a pregnancy test in the back bathroom of a Walmart and it was positive. I took another one. Positive. We are both 20/21 and it shook us both pretty bad and I don't ever remember being so scared as the night I told my family I was pregnant.

My family made us get married right away to cover up the fact that I had a baby out of wedlock.

We got married and six months later

My sweet boy was born in May of 2016 and even though his dad and I are no longer together and I am with someone else, that is still one of the best decisions I ever made and one that I do not regret. ❤️

And your son is gonna grow up with such an excellent mother! 😭 Im so happy for you that you were able to turn an accident into a treasure 😭

[levi-supreme]

Rei, Rei! How was the pregnancy with Renée? How did you deliver the news to Levi and maman heheh

Lots of hugs :3

🥰

Charlotte my precious I— 🥺💖 I adore you so much TAKE MY LOVE!!!!!!! I'm gonna answer this below the cut because knowing me, I'm going to go sappy and talk too much.

Warnings: Block the tags #levi x rei and #reivi to avoid the cringe. It's EXTREMELY cringey hehe. Also talks about pregnancy and all that jazz so. Don't mind me and my unhinged thoughts.

So. It happened after the events of Dance with Me. It was about two weeks after Levi's birthday, and then I got worried because my period wasn't here. I was paranoid because my period was always regular, so I felt something was up. Levi and I bought a home pregnancy test kit, and oh boy we were so damn nervous when we were waiting for the results. That five minutes of waiting felt like the longest five minutes ever. Levi kept pacing back and forth, and I was just sitting on the chair fidgeting around and..... nervously waiting for time to pass.

And then..... once five minutes were up, we checked the kit and.........

We saw it. Two lines. On the test kit.

It took us a while before we registered that oh. It's positive. It's a baby. WE'RE HAVING A BABY. WE'RE GOING TO BECOME PARENTS. And then Levi and I just hugged each other and cried because we never expected ourselves to be so lucky (like.. oh god. We hit the jackpot on our first try...? hehe >//<).

We didn't know what to do, so Levi called Hange to ask for help because they were a gynaecologist. Hange then arranged an appointment for us at the hospital they work at, and that's how Hange became our gynae hehe. And somehow, Hange got Moblit along too, so they were the first two to know about our pregnancy.

Levi and I decided to wait before telling Maman partly because of superstition haha, and also just to make sure every thing went well, because Hange told Levi that the first trimester is the most crucial time. Once we were sure that everything was going well, we asked Maman over for dinner one night. I was about 10 weeks pregnant and even though my bump was tiny, it was kinda obvious too. After dinner, we told Maman to join us in the living room, and then, Levi just... casually slid over a sonogram on the table XD

Maman was like "eh?" until she took a closer look and realised what it was 🥺 she was really happy for us too!! We all just hugged each other and wept tears of joy haha. And then... knowing my mother-in-law..... she casually commented, "is the baby a birthday baby?" and then Levi and I just went (●__●) because... uh... indeed the baby was the result of some hot steamy birthday s*x LOL. She touched my bump and guessed our baby is a girl XD

But yes!! Aunty Kuchel was so supportive during my pregnancy, and Levi was being so attentive to me too. This was our first child, and we were all so careful with everything. My morning sickness was pretty bad at first, and then it got better by the second trimester. We listened to every thing Hange and Moblit told us to do, and we even started to baby-proof our house. Levi even wanted to buy books on parenting and all that to read.

Deep down, I know he's scared and worried, because he grew up without a father, and he's afraid that he can't be a good father to our baby. I told him I didn't have confidence that I'll be a good mother too. No one is born a good parent, and we learn along the way. I told Levi that I had absolute faith that he's going to be the best Papa in the world.

Come 16 September 2016..... my contractions started in the afternoon. Levi was so worried, he flew me to the hospital where Hange and Moblit worked. I didn't tell Levi, but I was really scared. What was I afraid of? The pain? Perhaps. Levi stayed by my side throughout. He was also really nervous too, but he tried to hide it.

Come 10-ish pm or so... Hange said I was really close, and you know... it's the part where you keep going 'PUSH!!!!'. And let me tell you.....

Ow. The pain??????????? I angrily told Levi that I am never giving birth again. I clenched his hand so hard while I tried to push. And then, at past 11pm, Renée Naomi Ackerman was born 💖

When Hange passed her to me, and the moment I saw her, I felt like all the pain I went through was worth it. Levi and I brought a little angel to this world, and we are going to give her the best we can. Of course, there was lots of crying (from me XD). Levi tried to hide it, but I know he shed a few drops of tears too. Moblit told him to cut Renée's umbilical cord and Levi was like ????? hahaha. Moblit had to guide him on how to cut the umbilical cord and boy let me tell you.... that moment was so precious too.

As much as we don't show our children favouritism and bias, Levi and I both know that Renée will always be our favourite child haha, because she's a (literal) gift to us ❤️

----

Okay this is all for my little journey with Renée hehe. Of course, if you wanna know about the twins and/or baby Charlotte, then hehe let me know. I adore you a lot my darling Charlotte, and thank you for sending me this 💘

[imaginationstimulation]

SHORT STORY: Things Will Never Be the Same by Chelsea Harris (2016)

I’m eating breakfast at the kitchen counter when he comes in and says, “You’re pregnant.”  He sets down a pregnancy test and I pick it up like it’s a slice of toast and I bring it into the bathroom and shut the door. It is negative. I splash water on my cheeks and I come out and I say, Oh my god, we’re having a baby, in my best surprised voice. “I know,” he says. “I already bought a crib online.” I watch his body move as he turns and opens the door. It is stiff. As stiff as the door. I go to the window and look out and I see him out in the yard. I see him digging a hole next to our failed attempt at a vegetable garden with a toy shovel that he stole from the turtle-shaped sandbox next door, and he is sweating.

When he comes back in I’m asleep on the couch and he shakes me awake and he says “Get dressed, we’re going to the hospital. You need to get an abortion. I just met with a banker and there is no way we can cover the costs of having a child.” He is right. We’re living in a studio apartment and our dishwasher is broken and our shower takes twenty minutes to heat up and I haven’t bought a new pair of shoes in a year and a half and he works at a call center and I take online surveys and I don’t know the first thing about  properly installing a car seat and we don’t even have a car. We go to the ER and he calmly explains our situation to the receptionist. I watch the stripes on the back of his shirt zig and zag as he speaks, like they’re dancing. She shakes her head and tells him to take a seat. I think she tells him to get out instead but I don’t argue with what he says, I never do. It is easier that way. There is a lifetime movie about a couple who is about to have a baby playing on the TV in the corner. Except they have a two bedroom house and an SUV and a family who throws them a baby shower at a venue on the ocean, and there are little storks with blue and pink ribbons tied around their necks strung up everywhere, and a cake shaped like a baby stroller, and not one person has a pimple. I sink back into the chair and I pick up a brochure about Hand-Foot-and-Mouth disease and I only make it through the first panel when he tugs my arm and tells me that we have to go.

When we get home I notice a mound of dirt next to the hole he was digging earlier and he says, “The baby has died.” He says, “We must bury it.” He says, “I will call a priest.” I say, But you don’t know any priests. And I am right, he doesn’t. We’ve never even been to church. He grabs his messenger bag off the chair by the door and he leaves. He doesn’t come back for a very long time.

We’ve been together since that time I was a taxi driver and I was driving him to his friend’s place on the west side of town and I never stopped. He said, “You missed the turn.” He said, “I could be a murderer you know. I could be a rapist. I could be a psychopath.” I said, That might be nice, I’ve never met any of those kinds of people before. What do you think murderers eat for breakfast? Do you think they buy scratch tickets? Do you think they go to fairs? Do you think they like cotton candy? He said, “I know where we can go.” He said, “Pull over and let me drive.” And I did. And he took me to a dead end an hour away. And at that dead end he crawled into the backseat with me and he kissed me harder than anybody had ever kissed me and he said, “You taste like melancholy which is also kind of like stale chocolate” and he said, “Take off your shirt I want to see your breasts in the moonlight” and he said, “Your nipples are as sharp as thumbtacks” and then he fucked me and I fell asleep and when I woke up in the morning he was on top of me looking down at me and he said, “Don’t worry,” and he held my face like I was the smallest thing in the world, like he just discovered me. Like I was always his.

I fall onto the couch and turn on the TV. The lifetime movie about the pregnant couple is still on. They’re in the hospital and they’re about to have the baby and the woman isn’t even sweating. They’re wheeling her to her room and the man is by her side and he’s rubbing her neck and she is smiling and holding her tummy and every time she passes someone they say Good luck! or You get em girl! or they give her a really exaggerated high five and I think, is this a football game or a maternity ward? I think, boy, this is the happiest hospital I’ve ever seen. I think, is everyone getting paid extra to be this nice? And then I remember that this is a movie and they are just actors and I bet in real life this woman wanted to walk the red carpet but she was only good enough for the lifetime network and then I feel bad for her.They’re in the room now and the woman is in the bed and her family is there and they’re holding balloons and one of them has a six-pack of cupcakes and all of them are radiating happiness. Like this is a game show and they all won six million dollars and four corvettes and a jet-ski and they’ll never have to worry about paying their electricity bill again. Sometimes I think I want this. Sometimes I want this life with the Coach wallets full of cash and the Ferraris and a husband who works 9-5 Monday through Friday and on the weekends takes me and the kids out for ice cream, or to the beach, or on a vacation in the Alps because he can. Sometimes I want it. But then I remember that that life takes choices, takes decisions, and I think that this is easier. Being with him, here. Watching these other lives when I feel like I might want them, just to get a taste. Just to convince me I don’t.  

He comes home and I am standing at the stove making a grilled cheese and he says, “Pack your things. We’re moving.” I turn off the stove and open the fridge and begin throwing food into the trash can across the kitchen like it’s a game. He says, “Don’t you want to know why?” I shrug. It doesn’t really interest me. He says, “The neighbors.” He moves closer to me and he says, “The neighbors know about the baby.” He puts his hand on my shoulder and he says, “I killed the baby.” I try to look surprised but not too surprised, I don’t want to give him the wrong impression, I don’t want to freak him out. I put down the carton of eggs I’m holding and I stand up with his hand balancing on my shoulder like a parrot and I cup his cheeks between my hands and I can feel them oozing through my fingers and his eyes are saying things that I’m pretending not to see and I kiss the tip of his nose and I say, in my best soothing voice, I say, Don’t worry.

[alarakcplan]

TASK ONE - Character Intro

Full Name: Alara Banou Kaplan

Nicknames: Lara, Banou (but only by her father)

Age & Birthday: 33 years; July 26th, 1991

Occupation: Boxing instructor & part time paramedic

Preferred Pronouns & Gender: she/her & cis-female

Sexuality:  Bisexual

Hometown & length of time in Briar Ridge: Briar Ridge, SC. Moved away shortly after high school, came back for 2 years in 2016, and then just recently returned this year

Neighborhood: Beach Front

Family: Eymen Kaplan (father) Leyla Yilmaz (cousin)

Faceclaim: Melisa Asli Pamuk

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Trigger Warnings: parental death, postpartum depression, insensitivity to mental health struggles, heart attack

Alara Kaplan is the only daughter of a single father and a mother who left her family when Alara was just six months old. Because of this, Alara has never been very good at allowing anyone to see her vulnerabilities. She puts up a rough front to mask the fear she constantly feels of being abandoned. After finally tracking down her mother 9 years ago, only to lose her to a heart attack shortly after, Alara's walls grew even thicker. She came back home to lick her wounds, only to leave again two short years later, when she caught herself developing deeper feelings for her boyfriend than she was comfortable with. The young woman has spent the last six years in Australia, and only returned to Briar Ridge when she got the news that her father had passed away. As she wraps up his affairs and deals with the guilt of not coming home sooner, she's not sure if she'll ever put the pieces of her broken heart back together again.

Eymen Kaplan moved to small town America shortly after graduating from high school on what was supposed to be a gap year, but quickly turned into a life choice. Heir to Kaplan Jewels, he grew up as the oldest son of a very successful mineral mining family from Turkiye. But Eymen desired the simpler things in life, he never wanted to take over a multi-million dollar company.

So when he moved to Briar Ridge, South Carolina, he was hooked by the small town pace of life and charm. Not to mention by the woman who would eventually become Alara’s mother. Eymen fell fast and hard for Ashlihan and for several years, everything seemed perfect. He was building the dream for himself with a community that he adored and a woman that he loved.

That all came to a screeching halt when Ashlihan’s period was two months late. Several pregnancy tests later and she finally came to accept that she was in fact pregnant. Eymen was thrilled, it was just part of the natural progression of their relationship for him. Ashlihan, not so much. It wasn’t until she was pregnant with one that she realized how much she didn’t want to have children. With unresolved trauma from seeing her mother die while trying to give birth to Ashlihan’s youngest sibling, the pregnancy was a terrifying and harrowing experience for Ashliah.

After an extremely complicated and difficult pregnancy, Alara was finally born. She came so quickly, they didn’t even have time to get to an actual hospital in the next closest city, instead she came into the world kicking and screaming at Turner’s Family Practice.

In the months that followed Alara’s birth, Ashlihan really struggled. Her postpartum depression made it hard for her to connect with her daughter and her husband just couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just love their daughter, why she didn’t love being a mom. It caused the rift between them that had been slowly growing ever since Ashlihan found out she was pregnant to become a huge chasm.

Eventually, when Alara was six months old, Ashlihan left. With a note on the fridge simply saying “I can’t do this anymore” Eymen was left alone with a six month old and no clue how to raise her.

But what he lacked in maternal instincts, Eymen made up for with love and sheer willingness to try. He did his best, raising a daughter as a single parent, but Alara spent a lot of time with Eymen’s  best friend’s family, who was also a fisherman.

Alara loved her childhood, but there was always a part of her haunted by the fact that her mother abandoned her. Eymen couldn’t and wouldn’t talk about her at all, the only reason Alara even knew her mother had left of her own volition was because she eavesdropped on a conversation one time between Eymen and his best friend. It created a rough exterior on the young girl, not wanting to let people around her get too close before she knew if she could trust them or not.

As soon as she graduated from high school, Alara took off. Armed with her mother’s name that she’d managed to convince her father’s best friend’s wife to tell her, because her father still wouldn’t, she left Briar Ridge in pursuit of something bigger, and better than the small town could offer her. And maybe, just maybe she’d find her mother.

During this time, Alara traveled around the U.S., picking up odd jobs here and there in order to provide for herself.  Shortly after leaving Briar Ridge, she’d stumbled upon a boxing gym and the woman quickly fell in love. Not only was she hooked on the endorphins she received through the exercise, but the feeling of being able to protect herself as a woman traveling and living alone. From then on, wherever Alara moved to, the first thing she would look for was a boxing gym.

In 2015, Alara found a lead on her mother. When she introduced herself and explained who she was to Ashlihan, the woman had a heart attack. Alara called 911 and the paramedics who responded literally saved her mother’s life. It was during the ride in the ambulance to the hospital, where Alara watched them work, that a newfound passion was born in the young woman. As her mother healed, Alara went through the training and certification to become a paramedic herself. She got to spend less than a year with her mother before a second heart attack took her away. Alara was devastated, couldn’t cope with losing her mother for a second time, so she went back to Briar Ridge, to her father in the hopes of picking up the pieces of her broken heart.

While she was back home, Alara learned about and joined a local motorcycle club. She had always loved riding motorcycles, and had one herself, so it seemed like a natural choice. And it was in this motorcycle club that the woman found her real family, outside of her father. They might not be related by blood, but these are some of the people she loved most in the world. With her skills as a paramedic, the club would often send injured members to her instead of to the hospital for fear of stereotyping and raising suspicion.

But when Alara found herself in a relationship with Emil Moreno, someone she’d had a long term crush on and found herself falling deeper and deeper for him, Alara ran scared. She bought a ticket to Australia, quite possibly the furthest place from Briar Ridge, for what was supposed to be a short trip, but once there, sent Emil a text that simply said, “Don’t think I’m coming back. Wish you the best.” And hadn’t been heard from since.

Five years passed, and suddenly Alara was forced to return to Briar Ridge again. This time, for her father's funeral. The one person she loved most in the world and Alara was too stubborn to come back home to see him, assuming that he would eventually get better. But he didn't. He passed away a year ago. Alara returned for the funeral and then promptly fled town again, only returning now to deal with her father's belongings. Now, she has to deal with the consequences of her stubbornness and unwillingness to show vulnerability. Not getting to say goodbye to her father in person has wrecked her, and she’s not quite sure how she’ll recover this time.

[oaresearchpaper]

Fetal Fibronectin Test Accuracy for Predicting Preterm Birth Risk

Abstract

Preterm delivery is the leading cause of neonatal mortality. One of the best predictors to assess the risk of preterm labour (PTB) is by measuring fetal fibronectin (fFN) in cervico vaginal secretion after 26 weeks of pregnancy. The aim is to evaluate the diagnostic accuracy of qualitative cervico vaginal fFN in symptomatic women and asymptomatic high risk women during antenatal care. Prospective study which was conducted in Basrah Maternity and Child Hospital. It included 106 pregnant women at gestational age more than 26 weeks who had uterine contraction with or without pervious risk factors for PTB. Cervico vaginal fluid sampling was undertaken from all women included in the study after the age of 26 weeks of gestation and qualitative fFN assessment was done with 50ng/ml is the cut off point for positivity. As regard qualitative fFN assessment for predicting of PTB sensitivity, specificity, PPV, NPV, were 71%, 87%, 40.50%, 94% respectively in symptomatic women. While in asymptomatic women with previous high risk had 26% sensitivity, 84% specificity, 32% PPV, and 87% NPV. Qualitative assessment of fFN in cervico vaginal fluid is good predictive marker in detecting of PTB.

Introduction

Preterm labour is defined as regular contractions of the uterus starting before 37 weeks of pregnancy that result in cervical effacement and dilatation. Globally, about 15 million babies are born preterm each year. The incidence of preterm birth varies significantly across the globe (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, 2016).

Approximately 30-35% of preterm birth PTB are iatrogenic due to medical or obstetric complications, 40-45% are related to spontaneous preterm labour, and 25-30% to preterm rupture of membrane. Spontaneous pre-term birth is most commonly caused by pre-term labour in caucasians, and preterm prelabour rupture of membrane in black women indicating the existence of potentially different causative mechanism (Offiah et al., 2012).

Fetal fibronectin is a glycoprotein variant of fibronectin family present in amniotic fluid, placenta and the extracelluar substance of the decidua (Bennett, 2018). Its synthesis and release is increased by the mechanical and inflammatory events which occur prior to the onset of labour (Bennett, 2018). Fibronectin is often described as "leaking" from disruption to the fetal membranes and decidua in the lower pole of the uterus associated with early biochemical events of parturition. 

However, it is also an inflammatory response gene, and therefore concentrations of fibronectin in vaginal fluid can be considered to also be marker of inflammation (which may be pathological or a normal part of the onset of labour at term) (Bennett, 2018).

Fetal fibronectin may normally be detected in vaginal secretions at levels in excess of 50ng/ml. However, it is now being increasingly used to predict risk in women who are asymptomatic but at risk for other reasons, in particular cervical shortening (Foster and Shennan, 2014; Kuhrt et al., 2016). 

Since fFT is present in amniotic fluid and placental tissue, mechanical or inflammatory-mediated damage to the membranes before PTB might result in its release into the cervix and vagina (Honest et al., 2002).

The presence of cervico vaginal fFT in the second and third trimesters of pregnancy identifies a subgroup of women who are at high risk for PTB. This phenomenon may reflect the separation of the chorion from the decidual layer of the uterus, with the release of intact or degraded chorionic components of the extracellular matrix into cervical and vaginal secretions (Lockwood et al., 1991). Thus, early detection of PTB is difficult because initial symptoms are often mild and may occur in normal pregnancies.

Even an interesting works, mostly in USA, have been carried out among different population (Lockwood et al., 1991; Honest et al., 2002; Imas, 2003; Hezelgrave et al., 2015; American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists, 2016; Bennett, 2018) but unfortunately, there is no work which has been done among women in our region. Thus, it is of value to know its accuracy, sensitivity and specificity in predicting spontaneous PTB in women with or without symptoms. It is expecting to use the results of this study to predict and diagnose PTB. In addition, the usual treatment in clinical practice depends on accurate prediction of spontaneous PTB.

Source : Accuracy of cervico vaginal fetal fibronectin test in predicting risk of spontaneous preterm birth

[becomeparentsurrogacy]

Why low cost surrogacy options may not always be the best?

 Surrogacy is world recognized as a procedure where a where a woman carries and delivers a child for another individual or couple. Whereas it offers a big ray of hope for many who cannot have children, the surrogacy cost aspect often pushes the intended parents to seek cheaper options. However, low-cost surrogacy can come with certain risks and challenges for the intended parents right from the start. That said, we will investigate in the following sections of this blog why going for cheaper surrogacy might not be the right way to go ahead. Moreover, we will quote down some real time examples in the same regards.

Risks attached with low cost surrogacy

Risks related to health and safety

In low-cost surrogacy alternatives, the quality of medical care may well be compromised. Moreover, you may not get the right medical attention with the support of top class medical experts. In 2013, an Australian couple's story made all the big news when they found their surrogate twins had Down syndrome. The couple opted for surrogacy in Thailand due to the higher surrogacy cost in Australia.

Moreover, the couple was not prepared for this, mostly since the low-cost clinic they chose in Thailand did not offer comprehensive hereditary testing. This highlights how cutting costs can lead to sub-standard medical screening and care, influencing the health of the child and the surrogate.

Challenges related to legal and ethical issues

You cannot kick start your surrogacy journey without proper legal guidance. Moreover, in low cost surrogacy options, the legal counseling may be negligible, driving to complex issues later on. A recent case is that of child M in the United States in 1986. That said, the surrogate mother, who was paid a smaller amount as surrogacy cost, chose to keep the child. This dispute triggered a legal fight among all the parties. Also, this case underlines the significance of having a strong surrogacy regulation, which is frequently missing in low-cost surrogacy options.

Compromise with the surrogate welfare

The welfare of the surrogate is another basic issue. In 2012, an Indian surrogate passed away due to complications amid pregnancy. This case, among others, raised questions regarding the care and support given to surrogates in lower-cost surrogacy programs. Also, it is basic that surrogates receive satisfactory healthcare, support, and compensation, which may not be ensured in cheaper alternatives.

Lower success rates

You can expect the lower success rates with low cost surrogacy options. That said, in a low-cost surrogacy in Georgia, a couple went through multiple miscarriages before finally succeeded two years later. This not only increased their general costs but also led to severe emotional trauma. So, we can say that high-quality medical care and careful screening options, regularly found in more costly programs, can essentially increase the chances of a effective pregnancy.

Bringing emotional stress and trauma

The emotional and mental affect of surrogacy is significant. In a case from 2014 in Ukraine, a surrogate mother could give up on her child due to the emotional attachment. This drove to severe mental trouble post-delivery. Even though she was been paid good surrogate mother cost in Ukraine, she refused to give up on the child. That said, such emotional viewpoints can be ignored in low-cost surrogacy, where counseling and mental support are often minimal.

Higher chances of surrogate exploitation

There are also numerous concerns regarding surrogate abuse in the low cost surrogacy in Georgia or any other country. For example, a report from Cambodia in 2016 highlighted how women were being misused as surrogates. As per the reports, the surrogate mothers were only receiving a small portion of the money paid by the intended parents. On the other hand, this exploitation becomes a bigger probability in low cost surrogacy programs.

At the same time, the long-term implications of surrogacy programs can prove to be critical. In a case from Ukraine in 2018, a couple confronted legal challenges in bringing their surrogate child back to their nation due to some missing medical documents. According to reports, this came out due to lower surrogate mother cost in Ukraine paid to the agency and the surrogate on board,

Lower quality of life for the surrogate and the child

The quality of life for the child and surrogate is paramount in a surrogacy program. In a 2016 case in the United States, a surrogate mother carrying triplets was influenced to go through a selective reduction by the intended parents, leading to ethical and legal predicaments. Also, this case highlighted how lower-cost surrogacy programs can lead to circumstances where the quality of life for both the child and the surrogate isn't enough considered.

Final words

While higher cost of surrogacy can be a tough ask for many intended parents, going for a cheaper option may bring all the complications mentioned above. So, being a responsible intended parent, you must take care of all the elements while keeping the interests of the child above anything.

Also, it is vital for those considering surrogacy to understand that this is often not a cheaper course of action. Besides, It includes the well-being of the surrogate and the child, as well as the emotional and mental wellbeing of all parties included. Hence, choosing a surrogacy arrangement that prioritizes these elements, with affordable costs, is significant for a secure, moral, and effective surrogacy journey.

Source: https://becomeparentsurrogacy.blogspot.com/2023/11/low-cost%20surrogacy%20.html

[humantraffickingorganizations]

Kratom Products No Further a Mystery

Kratom products No Further a Mystery

Mitragaia is one of the most well-liked and quality kratom brand names that gives a variety of kratom strains.

Crimson Vein kratom makes quite possibly the most sedating effects from all shades. People can hope euphoric effects in little doses. Crimson Vein kratom also provides sedating Houses, which include aiding in pain relief and anxiety reduction.

Together with missing an About Us page, there's no corporation aim description published on the website. When transparency isn’t always a crimson flag, some buyers choose to see extra evidence that their enterprise is reliable. On top of that, the company doesn’t hold an accreditation from your American Kratom Affiliation (AKA), and it only mentions one element on its website about third-get together lab assessments. It appears Kingdom Kratom analyzed up to now but has since stopped doing so, as it's only described in a single blog site write-up. Triumph Botanicals.

Most of the issues that happen with agony prescription drugs take place when these medication are made use of at substantial doses or above a lengthy timeframe. It isn't known just what exactly amount of kratom is toxic in persons, but as with agony prescription drugs and recreational prescription drugs, it is feasible to overdose on kratom.

Kratom also adversely influences infant enhancement. When kratom is employed during pregnancy, the child could be born with indications of withdrawal that call for therapy.

We are the only real kratom vendor online that gives clean leaf from totally experienced kratom trees. All of our leaf is picked from trees various in age from 5 – eleven many years aged. Each and every leaf is picked to ship, for freshness we recommend you choose 2 working day transport.

Find out more regarding how to work with kratom for soreness reduction. Withdrawal signs from kratom can also be milder and website brief-lived.

Golden Monk can be a well-recognized Kratom vendor who has long been operational because 2016. The corporate promises it provides end users with only pure high-quality Kratom products. Golden Monk sells numerous Kratom products, like Borneo Kratom, Sumatra Kratom, Malay Kratom, and Bali Kratom. In the same way, Golden Monk products can be categorized As outlined by their leaf vein color, weather conditions, and grown resource. Each individual Golden Monk Kratom color represents a unique therapeutic characteristic and may only regulate distinct health and fitness circumstances. There exists a lot of to love about this brand name and it can be one of the best choices for many who wish to invest in bulk Kratom powder for lengthy-phrase use or wholesale/retail needs. For anyone who is someone who is purchasing Kratom on the internet for The very first time, then that is a manufacturer that you should contemplate. If you are consuming Kratom, lawful dosage needs to be followed to prevent circumstances like Kratom withdrawal signs. You do not need to bother with them when employing products made by this manufacturer.

It’s technically achievable to inject kratom, and that is a common approach to administering the herb to mice in health care investigate — nevertheless, it’s not useful in authentic-life programs.

These days purchasing Kratom products online has become quick and protected. Also, you can find Kratom firms that supply products that match your spending budget.

The commonest technique of using kratom, by far, is the “toss and clean” process. This involves “tossing” again a spoonful of your Uncooked powder and next it up which has a significant gal of h2o (the “clean” aspect).

The gold common for tests is to use third-celebration screening — meaning the corporation ships a sample to an unrelated facility for Assessment. This is the only method to ensure the screening is totally impartial and accurate.

In reduced doses, the kratom plant only gives gentle discomfort relief but activates the central nervous system to make users feel more warn and energized.

There are actually a few most important types for different kratom strains based upon the colour on the leaf veins — purple, white, and inexperienced.

[pussygreys]

I worry when im away from my kids

Pregnant women who aren’t immune to chickenpox but come into contact with it can get an injection of varicella zoster immune globin (VZIG). The chickenpox vaccination cannot be given during pregnancy, unfortunately. While chickenpox vaccinations do exist, the best thing to do if you want one is to vaccinate against it three months before you start trying for a baby. Breastfeeding passes your antibodies to the baby whether you are immune or have caught chickenpox too. If your newborn baby gets chickenpox, breastfeeding can help protect them. The medicine may also be given before 20 weeks but do check with your GP." "If you are more than 20 weeks pregnant, you can be treated with antiviral medicine to reduce fever and symptoms. When babies are exposed to chickenpox after they are born they may be slightly more at risk than older children but death is extremely rare (RCOG, 2015a 2015b NHS Choices, 2016). If a woman has chickenpox within seven days after birth, her baby may get neonatal chickenpox up to 28 days after birth. The virus may become active again in the first few years of the baby’s life, causing shingles.Īfter 36 weeks, your baby could be born with chickenpox. Foetal varicella syndrome can damage the baby’s skin, eyes, legs, arms, brain, bladder or bowel.īetween 28 weeks and 36 weeks the virus lives in the baby’s body without causing harm. It’s a complicated one to answer and depends on where you are in your pregnancy.īefore 28 weeks, there is a small risk of your baby developing foetal varicella syndrome (FVS). If you do get chickenpox during pregnancy, one of the biggest worries will inevitably be whether it will affect your unborn baby. After a few days, the blisters burst, crust over and heal but that can take up to two weeks (RCOG, 2015a 2015b). When they appear, symptoms can include a fever, feeling generally unwell and the formation of watery, itchy blisters. Symptoms take between 10 days and three weeks to appear from when you caught chickenpox. You can get a blood test to see if you’re immune. See the GP as soon as you know you’ve been in contact with someone who has it. But if you are pregnant and aren’t sure if you’ve already had it, don’t take any risks. A person is contagious from two days before the rash appears to when all the blisters have crusted over. But the start of chickenpox is not that obvious to spot. Who to avoidĪs you may know if you have children of school age, it’s very easy to catch chickenpox from being in close contact with someone who already has it. The risks of developing complications increase if you smoke, have a lung condition, have taken steroids in the last three months or are over 20 weeks pregnant. But in the worst cases, complications of chickenpox during pregnancy can include pneumonia, encephalitis and hepatitis and can cause fatalities. The risks of having chickenpox during pregnancy are lower than they had been thanks to improved treatment (NHS Choices, 2016). get chickenpox up to seven days after giving birth.are pregnant and have been near someone who has it.Speak to your midwife or GP immediately if you: Just three in every 1,000 women catch chickenpox during pregnancy (NHS Choices, 2016). Catching chickenpox in pregnancyįor all of the worry around getting chickenpox when pregnant, actually catching it is very rare. Yet it is serious when caught during pregnancy or by a woman who gave birth less than seven days ago. Once you’ve had it, you can’t catch it again because your body will produce antibodies to fight the infection. Chickenpox is a common, viral infectious disease that produces a rash.

[skepticalarrie]

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[imaginationstimulation]

SHORT STORY: Things Will Never Be the Same by Chelsea Harris (2016)

I’m eating breakfast at the kitchen counter when he comes in and says, “You’re pregnant.”  He sets down a pregnancy test and I pick it up like it’s a slice of toast and I bring it into the bathroom and shut the door. It is negative. I splash water on my cheeks and I come out and I say, Oh my god, we’re having a baby, in my best surprised voice. “I know,” he says. “I already bought a crib online.” I watch his body move as he turns and opens the door. It is stiff. As stiff as the door. I go to the window and look out and I see him out in the yard. I see him digging a hole next to our failed attempt at a vegetable garden with a toy shovel that he stole from the turtle-shaped sandbox next door, and he is sweating.

When he comes back in I’m asleep on the couch and he shakes me awake and he says “Get dressed, we’re going to the hospital. You need to get an abortion. I just met with a banker and there is no way we can cover the costs of having a child.” He is right. We’re living in a studio apartment and our dishwasher is broken and our shower takes twenty minutes to heat up and I haven’t bought a new pair of shoes in a year and a half and he works at a call center and I take online surveys and I don’t know the first thing about  properly installing a car seat and we don’t even have a car. We go to the ER and he calmly explains our situation to the receptionist. I watch the stripes on the back of his shirt zig and zag as he speaks, like they’re dancing. She shakes her head and tells him to take a seat. I think she tells him to get out instead but I don’t argue with what he says, I never do. It is easier that way. There is a lifetime movie about a couple who is about to have a baby playing on the TV in the corner. Except they have a two bedroom house and an SUV and a family who throws them a baby shower at a venue on the ocean, and there are little storks with blue and pink ribbons tied around their necks strung up everywhere, and a cake shaped like a baby stroller, and not one person has a pimple. I sink back into the chair and I pick up a brochure about Hand-Foot-and-Mouth disease and I only make it through the first panel when he tugs my arm and tells me that we have to go.

When we get home I notice a mound of dirt next to the hole he was digging earlier and he says, “The baby has died.” He says, “We must bury it.” He says, “I will call a priest.” I say, But you don’t know any priests. And I am right, he doesn’t. We’ve never even been to church. He grabs his messenger bag off the chair by the door and he leaves. He doesn’t come back for a very long time.

We’ve been together since that time I was a taxi driver and I was driving him to his friend’s place on the west side of town and I never stopped. He said, “You missed the turn.” He said, “I could be a murderer you know. I could be a rapist. I could be a psychopath.” I said, That might be nice, I’ve never met any of those kinds of people before. What do you think murderers eat for breakfast? Do you think they buy scratch tickets? Do you think they go to fairs? Do you think they like cotton candy? He said, “I know where we can go.” He said, “Pull over and let me drive.” And I did. And he took me to a dead end an hour away. And at that dead end he crawled into the backseat with me and he kissed me harder than anybody had ever kissed me and he said, “You taste like melancholy which is also kind of like stale chocolate” and he said, “Take off your shirt I want to see your breasts in the moonlight” and he said, “Your nipples are as sharp as thumbtacks” and then he fucked me and I fell asleep and when I woke up in the morning he was on top of me looking down at me and he said, “Don’t worry,” and he held my face like I was the smallest thing in the world, like he just discovered me. Like I was always his.

I fall onto the couch and turn on the TV. The lifetime movie about the pregnant couple is still on. They’re in the hospital and they’re about to have the baby and the woman isn’t even sweating. They’re wheeling her to her room and the man is by her side and he’s rubbing her neck and she is smiling and holding her tummy and every time she passes someone they say Good luck! or You get em girl! or they give her a really exaggerated high five and I think, is this a football game or a maternity ward? I think, boy, this is the happiest hospital I’ve ever seen. I think, is everyone getting paid extra to be this nice? And then I remember that this is a movie and they are just actors and I bet in real life this woman wanted to walk the red carpet but she was only good enough for the lifetime network and then I feel bad for her.They’re in the room now and the woman is in the bed and her family is there and they’re holding balloons and one of them has a six-pack of cupcakes and all of them are radiating happiness. Like this is a game show and they all won six million dollars and four corvettes and a jet-ski and they’ll never have to worry about paying their electricity bill again. Sometimes I think I want this. Sometimes I want this life with the Coach wallets full of cash and the Ferraris and a husband who works 9-5 Monday through Friday and on the weekends takes me and the kids out for ice cream, or to the beach, or on a vacation in the Alps because he can. Sometimes I want it. But then I remember that that life takes choices, takes decisions, and I think that this is easier. Being with him, here. Watching these other lives when I feel like I might want them, just to get a taste. Just to convince me I don’t.  

He comes home and I am standing at the stove making a grilled cheese and he says, “Pack your things. We’re moving.” I turn off the stove and open the fridge and begin throwing food into the trash can across the kitchen like it’s a game. He says, “Don’t you want to know why?” I shrug. It doesn’t really interest me. He says, “The neighbors.” He moves closer to me and he says, “The neighbors know about the baby.” He puts his hand on my shoulder and he says, “I killed the baby.” I try to look surprised but not too surprised, I don’t want to give him the wrong impression, I don’t want to freak him out. I put down the carton of eggs I’m holding and I stand up with his hand balancing on my shoulder like a parrot and I cup his cheeks between my hands and I can feel them oozing through my fingers and his eyes are saying things that I’m pretending not to see and I kiss the tip of his nose and I say, in my best soothing voice, I say, Don’t worry.

[jackandjackiekennedylover]

Fan and Baby Mama

Imagine you are a huge fan of Bill Skarsgård and you met him in a bar and it ends up with both of you getting so drunk and having sex and you end up getting pregnant with Bill's baby.

February 20th," 2016

Fuck," You said as you looked at the positive pregnancy test.

What am I going to do," You said with panic as you run your fingers threw your blonde hair.

I'm having Bill Skarsgård's Baby, " You mumbled.

I can't ruin Bill's career over this," You said with a sad smile.

I'm going to raise this baby by myself and I'm doomed if the baby comes out looking like Bill," You thought.

So. Why did you want to meet here," Your Best Friend Nicole asked ?

Do you remember when I had met Bill Skarsgård , " You asked ?

Oh yeah. I had told you that you were the lucky son of a bitch to meet him ," Nicole said with a grin.

Well. More the meeting happen ," You said.

What happen then ," Nicole asked ?

Well. We both kind of got drunk and had sex ," You said.

No way. You had sex with Bill Skarsgård and I'm so jealous of you right now, " Nicole said with a smile.

You shake your head at her.

I wasn't on birth control and Bill didn't wear a condom. I had found out that I'm pregnant ," You said .

No way. You are having Bill Skarsgård's baby and I'm so jealous, " Nicole said

What am I going to do? Bill is a famous actor here in Los Angeles and I'm just a nurse and fan of his's that is pregnant with his baby. I don't want to ruin his career over this ," You said with a sad smile.

Hey. Everything is going to be ok ," Nicole said as she smiled at you .

You told Bill your name when you had met him didn't you ," Nicole asked ?

Yeah I did and He knows that I have blonde hair and blue eyes," You said.

He is going to remember your face too. We are so doomed bc he knows what you look like and your name and he will know that you are carrying his baby," Nicole said.

Please tell me that you didn't wear your nurse's uniform when you had met him in the bar," Nicole asked?

I did and my name tag was on my uniform," You said

We are so doomed," Nicole said.

You aren't. I am doomed," You said with a sad smile.

( Four Months Later ) July 8th, 2016

I can't believe just in four months that the baby will be here," Nicole said with a smile as she looks threw baby clothes.

Yeah. I'm excited for her to come, "You said with a smile as you look threw the girl's clothes.

Ik that you are still a little upset about Bill getting a girlfriend, " Nicole said with a sad smile.

I was but I'm happy for Him and Lilly," You said with a smile.

Ik that y/n. she is a little cute but she isn't carrying his baby now is she," Nicole said with a smirk.

You shake your head at her.

When I had looked her up. I had seen that she was 5'6 and Bill is 6'4 ," Nicole said .

Yeah so ," You asked ?

Lilly is to Bill's shoulder in her height," Nicole said with a grin.

Ok ," You said .

How tall are you , " Nicole asked ?

5'11," You said.

You are to Bill's neck in your height. So you are five inches taller than Lilly. So your guy's daughter is going to be tall bc both of her parents are tall," Nicole said with a grin.

You are enjoying this aren't you," You asked.

Yeah, I am," Nicole said with a smile.

I'm happy for them," You said.

I called bullcrap on that," Nicole said.

You looked at her before you continue looked threw the baby clothes.

Both of you heard cameras snapping.

Paparazzi," You mumbled.

Why don't you go and see who it is, " Nicole asked?

Fine, "You said as you walk out of the store.

You see a tall guy with dark brown hair .

His green eyes locked on you.

Bill ," You mumbled .

Fuck," You mumbled.

Bill looked at you before he glance down at your huge belly.

Y/n, " Bill called .

This isn't happening," You said with panic as you walk back into the store.

Y/n wait," Bill said as he walks after you.

Are you ok , " Nicole asked ?

No. I had seen who the person was, "You said.

Who was it," Nicole asked?

Bill. His eyes were on me and then on my stomach," You said.

He definitely knows something now bc he had seen your baby bump and you didn't have that last time ," Nicole said .

Bill did say my name and I had panic a little and walk back into the sore. I'm hoping that he didn't follow me ," You said .

Um. Look who just walk in ," Nicole said .

Bill ," You said .

Yep," Nicole said.

Crap. We have to go now," You said.

Y/n," Bill said as he walks towards you.

Um Hi," You said with an awkward smile.

I had said your name twice and you walk back into the store," Bill asked as he raised an eyebrow at you.

I just panicked when I saw you again," You said with a sad smile.

You still looked the same as the last time that I saw you but now you have a baby bump and if I'm correct. We had sex back in February and it's now July so the baby that you are carrying now is mine," Bill says as he grinned at you.

Ok. She is yours," You said.

She. I'm getting a daughter," Bill said with a smile.

Yeah," You said with a little smile.

Why didn't you tell me sooner about you being pregnant but I had to find out about me becoming a father like this ," Bill asked?

I didn't want to ruin your career about this and you have a girlfriend now and ik that you are happy with her and I didn't want to ruin that for you ," You said with a sad smile.

Bill glanced at you with a little smile.

You aren't going to ruin my career over this. I broke up with Lilly two months ago and you didn't ruin anything for me," Bill said as he smiled at you.