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honeyhotteoks · 10 months

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always only you (c.sc)

summary: the date was terrible, awful even, but you just can't call your brother to pick you up. you have to call his best friend instead.

note: hi um....... i'm back and a seventeen stan now????? don't worry, i'm still working on ateez fic, but s.coups has taken hold of my brain and i needed to get this one out there so..... pls enjoy

warnings: non idol!seungcheol, fem!reader, older brother mingyu, seungcheol is mingyus bff, reader is called a sl*t in a mean way by her shitty date, v protective cheol, reckless driving, unprotected sex (wrap it up dont be like them), reader is curvy and descriptors like full, thick, etc. are used throughout, makeouts, grinding, cheol is obsessed with pussy, i mean fr he's a bonafide wap enjoyer, an oral aficionado of the wettest kind, anyways there's oral sex f receiving, hand stuff, rough fingering, rough but passionate sex, use of baby and princess, creampies b/c lbr he's gotta, anyways they're obsessed with each other

pairings: s.coups x reader

genre: smut and more smut, childhood friends to lovers

word count: 14.2K

It was a bad date.

Not the worst date you’ve ever had, granted, but still pretty up there in terms of terrible. He left an hour ago, the minute you interrupted his monologue to tell him that you were pretty sure things weren’t going to work out. You’ve never had someone leave in the middle of a date before, but then again, you’ve never actually told someone the date was bad in the middle either.

Not being able to find the right guy is starting to feel embarrassing. It’s been years since your last relationship and months since you even had a second date. Naively, you had had such a good feeling about tonight and having to be proven wrong at breakneck speed before you even got your entrees feels like some kind of poetic karma for something you must have done. You just wish for once you had kept your mouth shut, but your good feeling had been infectious and your excitement about the date bubbled up out of you to your friends and your coworkers.

You just wish you never told Mingyu.

I have a really good feeling about him. That’s what you told your brother on the phone a few hours ago. We’ve been talking for a few weeks, I think you’ll really like him.

Stupid.

You should have known he was on the rebound from the suspiciously large gap in photos on his Instagram. You should have known he was just trying to sleep with you from the minute he commented on your dress, from the way he touched your shoulder for too long for the first hug. You should have known on top of all of that that he would be boring from his joking non-answer when you asked about his most recent read. Sometimes it takes all of those things wrapped up tightly together and shoved directly in your face from across a dining room table to know for sure.

You just wish you never said a word to Mingyu. You don’t want to see that look in his eyes when you tell him he wasn’t the right guy. His eyes always go soft, mouth downturned, and it kills you every time because he means it when he says - You’ll find the right guy soon, anyone would be crazy to not love you.

Tonight you really don’t want pity, you don’t think you can handle it.

“Are you ready for the check?” The server’s voice snaps you right out of your thoughts and you look up at his sympathetic smile.

“Sorry,” You manage, “yes,”

“No rush,” He lies, immediately producing the leather billfold and sliding it across the tablecloth.

The floor doesn’t start to drop out from beneath you until you open it, despite having to sit here and eat your pasta alone. This place is expensive, more expensive than you thought.

Your eyes run through the bill. Four cocktails, two appetizers, two entrees, one slice of cherry cheesecake. The bills your date left on the table just barely covers three cocktails. You can’t afford this. The prices here were probably nothing for your date given how much he talked about his extremely smart investing strategies, but not for you.

You do fast math, panic math.

After paying the bill you’ll have 9,600 won in your debit account. You get paid tomorrow so it’s not the scariest number you’ve ever seen in your account, but it’s definitely not enough for a taxi home.

Your stomach churns.

You pay the bill quickly, quietly, the server’s hovering presence by your shoulder enough to tell you there is in fact a considerable rush. Your card is returned to you in moments, and he places a brown paper bag in front of you, “There’s an extra slice of cheesecake in there for you,” he says, “I’m sorry about your date.”

He’s gone before you can say thank you.

You suppose you can’t really sit inside anymore if you’ve paid the bill and you’re holding a to-go bag, so you step out into the chilly night air. It’s been raining lately, but barely. It’s been cloudy more than anything, and yet here you are walking outside into the cold night air and a late autumn storm of icy rain.

Your date was a special kind of bastard for leaving you stranded a half hour from your apartment in a storm like this.

The comments he made about you, about your dress and the way it fits flick through your mind and your jaw draws tightly shut. If you had had the wherewithal in that moment to slap him or toss a glass of water in his face you would have, but instead you sat frozen with your stomach in knots.

It takes you one flash of rage to scroll through your phone and delete the three dating apps installed, and then you open up your contacts and scroll for your brother’s name. He doesn’t live too far from here, and you know he’s probably out with some of his friends, but if you’re lucky maybe he’s close by. Your finger hovers over Mingyu’s contact, but you can't quite make the call.

You’re twenty-six, you should be grown up enough to get home by yourself after a bad date and not have to call him to rescue you. Embarrassment floods you, the idea of admitting you can’t afford the taxi tonight just sinks into your bones. You love your brother so much, but the idea of seeing him look at you the way he sometimes does and then slip money into your purse for you to find at home makes you want to cry. You’d call him and you’d tell him you’re returning it and he’d play dumb - What money, y/n? I didn’t put that there, maybe it’s like when you find 50,000 won in your old jeans?

No, you can’t call him. You can’t go over to his lovely little apartment with his absolutely lovely fiance and cry about the sorry state of your romantic life. Nothing about that will make you feel better in this moment, absolutely nothing.

You scroll away from his contact and you think about anyone else you could call, but there’s only one person who keeps coming to mind. There’s no way he’ll pick up, not when he sees your number on his phone, not after the way you’ve treated him for the past year, but his apartment really isn’t that far from here and if he doesn’t hate your guts you know he’ll at least give you a ride.

The rain picks up, pelting you hard enough that you have to duck back under the measly lip of the restaurants roof for what cover it provides, and you don’t realize you’re well and truly crying until your cheeks feel warm and wet and you can’t get a full breath, but here you are. Stranded alone, broke, and loveless in an apparently ill fitting dress, and there’s only one person’s voice you want to hear even if it’s just his stupid voicemail box.

Tears hiccup out of you as you dial, cold fingers shaking as you try to press the numbers you’ve had memorized by heart since you were thirteen and got your first cell phone.

The phone rings twice before he answers, “Hey, you,”

The easy sound of his voice makes your tears come faster. Your breath hitches in your chest, “Cheol?”

“y/n?” His voice shifts, “Are you crying?”

“I’m,” You hiccup again, “I’m sorry,”

“Hey,” He tries again, “y/n, is that you?”

“I messed up,” Your head is starting to throb and you press your eyes closed, leaning back against the cold wall of the restaurant and hiding as much of your body under the overhang of the roof as possible, “I’m sorry to call,”

“That’s okay,” Seungcheol says, his voice sounding strained, “what happened, princess?”

He hasn’t called you that in years, not since you were fifteen and carrying a torch for him. Not since you made Mingyu tell him to stop.

“C-can you come get me?” You wish you could just stop crying.

“Tell me where you are,” He answers immediately, and despite the rain you hear the sound of his car keys.

You give him the name of the restaurant, the closest cross streets, all blubbered out between fat tears and rain drops.

“That’s…” He sounds distant suddenly and then his voice reconnects, “twenty minutes, okay? I’ll be there in twenty minutes, princess, just take a deep breath,”

You drag in a shaky breath, “Cheol,” you scrub the tears from under your eyes, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know who else to call,”

“Me,” He says, his car starting up in the background, “you always call me if you need me,”

You haven’t seen him in almost a year, barely talked to him outside of sending reactions to each other's Instagram stories, but he’s coming.

The way you fell away from him was gradual at first, and then an intentional self preservationist wall. Mingyu had introduced his best friend to a girl, and despite your high school crush being supposedly dead and buried, you weren’t prepared for what Choi Seungcheol in love would look like. You started being busier and busier until his calls went unanswered and then eventually his calls just stopped altogether. Mingyu told you later that the relationship didn’t last, but the damage was done and in the end it was just easier not to reach out first.

You can’t believe he picked up the phone and you can’t believe the first thing he heard from you in a year was hysterical crying. Taking a set of deep, steadying breaths you wipe away the wetness from your cheeks. Your date had hurt your feelings, but you only let it last for a minute. You wouldn’t let a man with such a fragile ego get into your head, and besides, you’ve always liked this dress.

Seungcheol makes it to you in fifteen minutes flat. He’s broken at least six traffic laws to get to you, including running a solidly red, redlight, but he really doesn’t care.

He’s seen you cry before, plenty of times. When you skinned your knee at seven or that time he and Mingyu played a prank when you were eleven, tricking you into thinking you were home alone on Halloween night. He’s seen you cry at movies and at videos of puppies and the sound of moving music, and he remembers your eyes full of glassy tears watching Mingyu graduate college. He remembers the sound of it when your grandmother died when you were nineteen, the way your shoulders shook and your breath wheezed as you hid your face tightly in your brother's chest while he looked on feeling so, so helpless.

Seungcheol remembers all of it, but he’s never heard you sound like you did tonight.

Mingyu had said you had a date. Earlier in Seungcheol’s night at a bar not far from his apartment, his best friend mentioned it off hand. Mingyu said it like an afterthought as he answered one of your texts. Seungcheol tried not to notice the way his hand tightened on his beer can, enough to make the aluminum crack inwards on itself where his thumb dug into the cool metal. He tried not to think too much about what that meant, just like he’s been trying not to think too much about you at all lately.

Now his mind is racing, threading the pieces together as the wet road whips by. The threadiness of your voice turns synonymous with panic in his mind and now all he can think about is how he’ll find you when he gets there. He goes over the facts he knows while he stops behind a small block of traffic, his knuckles white as he grips the wheel.

A date, a bad date, a date you needed a ride away from. The kind of date you couldn’t tell your brother about, when he knows that Mingyu is always your first call. As the traffic disperses he presses the gas pedal and weaves around the slower cars, images flickering in his mind’s eye. A faceless man looking at you, making you uncomfortable, pressing into your space. His mind loops on the image of an unwanted kiss, of pushy hands finding their way under your blouse.

By the time he’s skidding into the parking lot of the restaurant his hands are shaking and he’s ready to kill.

When he sees you, wet and shivering on the sidewalk, he nearly falls out of the car trying to get to you. He leaves the key in the ignition, the door flung wide open with warmth pouring out into the chilly night air.

He looks flustered, rumpled like he was having a quiet night in. Heavy gray sweatpants that hang just right on his hips and an oversized white shirt. He’s wearing socks and slides and the second you see him it dawns on you that when you called him you must have sounded hysterical because he didn’t even try to dress for the icy weather.

“You look terrible,” You clap a hand over your lips to stop yourself from laughing, and you can’t believe that’s the first thing you manage to say to him after a year. You hate yourself for having no filter, no off switch, no ability to just be normal and say thank you for coming all this way.

His expression runs from panic to confusion in a split second, “What?”

“Fuck,” You laugh, shaking your head, “no, sorry, you look good, but it’s raining like hell, get in the car,”

He blinks, “y/n,”

“Come on,” You duck out from beneath the measly roof overhang and dart towards the passenger side door, “it’s freezing, I’ll explain in the car,”

Your dress is wet, but not soaked through, so you hope you won’t do any damage to his seats as you slide into the warmth of his car and shut the door. It takes him at least thirty seconds to follow you, but through his confusion at your reaction you bet he finally registers the cold wetness of his socks and it snaps him back to reality.

He leaves the car in park and turns his body to you.

You owe him an explanation, especially given the way you cried on the phone to him twenty minutes ago, but all you can think right now is that it’s really, really nice to see his face again. His hair has gotten longer, shaggier and curled a little at the neck and it might just be the fit of his shirt, but he looks broader. It’s only been a year, but he looks so much more like a man now. All you can manage is, “Hey, Cheol,”

“Hey,” He answers, shifting himself further in the seat so that he’s almost twisted up sideways, one leg tucked up to accommodate the position.

The front of his shirt is damp with rain and clinging a bit to his chest and you look down. You really do not need to be having these kinds of thoughts about him again, it’s only been a minute, ninety seconds at the most.

“y/n,” He says, his voice slow and soft, “what happened?”

Shame floods you, heating your cheeks red.

He stretches a hand across the center console, but he stops halfway, his fingers closing into a loose fist, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know,”

“I won’t tell Gyu,” He offers quietly, “just tell me what happened, and I promise, I’ll take care of it.”

Oh.

Your head snaps up at his serious tone, “Nothing happened, I’m fine,”

He looks more confused than before if that’s even possible, and you can practically see him working out his next words.

“Cheol,” You shake your head, “I’m serious, I’m completely fine, I just needed a ride,”

“You were crying,” He says, not a question but a fact.

“I know,” You sigh.

“You were crying like something happened,” He draws his arm back and runs a hand through his damp hair, “and you called me?”

“I know,” You repeat, “it was a bad date, but that’s all it was. He ditched me without a ride though and I just,”

Seungcheol’s lips close at your words as he waits for you to finish.

“The thought of calling Mingyu and telling him about this just,” You clear your throat to push back a little bubble of emotion, “yeah, I couldn’t do that,”

“Oh,” His voice drops, and Seungcheol shifts in his seat, throwing the car into drive, “got it.”

“No, Cheol,” You shake your head, “that’s not what I meant,”

“It’s fine,” He peels out of the parking lot, “I’ll drive you home.”

He’s angry, pissed at you in that way he gets pissed. Tightened jaw, heavy sighs, his knee bouncing in irritation. If you give it five minutes he’ll tell you what’s bothering him, he’ll say it in a fast rush like he’s more disappointed than mad. You have to let him come to you when he’s like this, no amount of trying to explain will fix it, so you wait.

The drive is silent, and you fight the urge to jump in with directions when he approaches each light and turn. He knows where your apartment is, he helped you move in four years ago when you graduated college. Mingyu and his friends lifting box after box and telling you to just relax and let the professionals handle it. You smile at the memory.

He stays quiet until he turns off the major road and down the side streets that will take you to your apartment, but finally he says, “You can’t just call me like that and expect me to drop everything when you have a bad date,”

“Were you busy?” You didn’t think so judging by the state of his clothes, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility. He could have had friends over, maybe a girl. You wonder idly if he’s seeing someone.

“That’s not the point,” He glances at you, “and you know it.”

“I’m sorry,” You tell him, and you mean it, “I really didn’t know who to call, and I just,”

“What, y/n?” He pushes a little.

“I just don’t want to tell Mingyu about the date,” You confess, “and I didn’t mean to call you and be such a mess, the date really was bad and I was feeling sorry for myself, and I didn’t have enough money to get home,”

“What?” He swivels his head to the side for a moment and then refocuses on the road.

“I would have called a taxi,” You explain, “but my fucking date left and didn’t pay after we ordered all this food and it was more than I was planning for,”

“He didn’t pay?” He sounds disgusted and you smile.

“No,” You tell him, “but in fairness, I did tell him in the middle of the date it wasn’t going to work out,”

He laughs sharply, and you know he’s still irritated but at least he’s listening, “That bad?”

“Yeah,” You sigh, “but it is what it is,”

He glances over to you again, “So he walked out?”

“Basically,” You nod, “he said what he needed to say, dropped twenty-thousand won on the table like that was going to cover anything and walked out. At least now I know he was an asshole, I’m not missing out on anything,”

“What did he say to you?” His voice pops up an octave.

You’d really rather not tell him, you’d be fine burying the comment he made deep down inside never to be unpacked again. You shake your head, “It’s fine,”

“It doesn’t seem fine,” He starts, but you smoothly cut back in.

“I just didn’t want Gyu to feel bad for me I guess, he knew I was looking forward to the date, and having to call for a ride like this, I don’t know. I was embarrassed,” You explain.

“I still don’t understand why you called me, though,” He admits, and you can still feel the tension in him even though the conversation has been ebbing and flowing, “I’m not your brother.”

Irritation sparks in you at the comment, “I know you’re not,” you turn to him, “but we’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Friends call each other,” He says simply, “don’t they?”

You let his comment sit in the air between you for a moment, and then you sigh, “Yeah, they do. I’m sorry I disappeared on you like that,”

“I tried calling,” He says softly, “but you were always busy,”

“I know,” You breathe.

He drives further, slower now and safer that you’re in the car, and you can see him thinking through your words. Finally he slides his hand across the center console with his palm turned up, offering you his hand, “y/n,” he says, “are you doing okay? With money, I mean, after what you said?”

“I’m good,” You tell him, “it was just shitty timing,”

“If you need anything,” He squeezes your hand as you slide your palm across his, “I’m here, we don’t have to say anything to,”

“I’m okay,” You assure him, “but thank you, seriously,”

He nods, accepting your words, but then he asks something harder, “What did that guy say to you, y/n? I know you, you weren’t crying like that over not being able to get a taxi,”

You sigh, leaning back in the passenger seat, “Can I ask you to let it go?”

“You can ask,” He shrugs, “but so can I.”

You sit quietly, looking at your entwined hands resting on your knee. His thumb strokes over your knuckles slowly.

“Fine,” You murmur, “he said he didn’t want to date me anyways, he just came to sleep with me,”

His hand tightens on yours.

“And if I wasn’t going to fuck him,” You do your best to clean up some of the language he used when he got up from the table, “I shouldn’t have dressed like a slut,”

You leave out the part that really cut deep, the part that made the more form fitting dress you chose go from sexy to something sour.

“Give me this asshole’s name,” Seungcheol skids to a stop a little too harshly at the next traffic light and turns to you.

“No,” You shake your head, “I’m fine now, it just stung,”

His lips close in a tight line and then he sighs, “I’m so sorry someone said that to you,”

“Don’t apologize, Cheol,” You squeeze his hand, “you didn’t say it.”

“I know, but still,” He holds your gaze, “it was mean, and you deserve much better from a guy you’re seeing, and you don’t look like, or I mean, you aren’t a,”

You smile as he stumbles over his words and someone behind him gently honks the horn enough to let him know the light has gone green.

He jolts and refocuses on the road, clearing his throat, “What I’m trying to say is that you look nice, pretty. The dress is good, and you, um, you don’t look,”

“Thank you,” You cut him off, trying to save him from swallowing his own tongue out of embarrassment, and you ignore the way your stomach flipped over on itself hearing Seungcheol call you pretty.

“Yeah,” He swallows, slowing down to make the final turn onto your little block, “you know what I mean,”

“Mhm,” You laugh, breaking down any lingering tension, “Cheol, are you a little disappointed you didn’t get to punch my date? Is that it?”

“Shut up,” He sighs.

“Aw,” You smile as he pulls into a space by your apartment, “You were worried about me?”

He rolls his eyes as he kills the ignition, “You were hysterical,” he says, “what was I supposed to think?”

“Don’t worry,” You smile as he throws open the driver’s side door, “I think it’s kind of sweet that you went all knight and shining armor on me,”

His lip twitches, “Don’t make fun,” he says, “I thought something bad happened to you,”

“Nothing bad happened to me,” You find yourself assuring him again even though he already knows this, and you twist the moment back to a joke as quickly as you can, “unless you count listening to a guy talk about his ex for twenty minutes,”

He grimaces, “Ugh,”

“Exactly,”

“Actually, you know what,” He grins, “you’re right, that is a terrible date and you were right to call me,”

He’s out of the car and crossing to your door and relief floods your chest. Just like that, you’re back to normal.

Seungcheol pulls open your door to let you out and says, “Do you have a towel or something?”

“You want to come up?”

“If you don’t mind,”

“You just swooped in and saved my night, Coups, of course I don’t mind.” He smiles at the nickname, the one mostly used by his friend group and coined by Seungcheol himself during their short lived Soundcloud music career freshman year of college. The nickname stuck, but you and Mingyu knew him before and you’ve both always, always called him Seungcheol.

He ducks his head, smiles, and follows you up the stairs and into your apartment just like old times.

It’s a little strange seeing him like this after so much time has passed, but no matter what has happened in your life, even when your childhood little crush on him was making your nights sleepless, he’s always been there. He’s been a constant in your life since you could form memories, and when you really think about it, you’ve never not known Seungcheol. Suddenly seeing him in your living room feels right, and it makes you wonder why you couldn’t pick up the phone and say something real to him this past year.

“It looks good in here,” He offers, toeing off his slides in the entryway and stepping into your little living room, “it looks like you,”

“Thanks,” You’re pretty sure the floor of your bedroom is still covered in clothes from earlier, but he’s not going to see that and you’re just glad you didn’t let that chaos spillover out here.

“So,” He clears his throat lightly.

“Towel,” You jump, “right, hold on,”

You disappear down the hall and Seungcheol’s chest goes fluttering fast. He doesn’t need a towel, he doesn’t need anything except a pair of dry socks and his own bed, and he can’t figure out for the life of him why he gave into the little voice that told him to come upstairs. You’ve made it pretty clear over the past year or so that you’ve grown up, you’ve made your own group of friends outside of him and your brother and the guys. He doesn’t need to be here, you don’t need him anymore, you just needed a ride.

But he’s missed you a little. A lot if he’s being honest with himself. Sometimes he finds himself asking Mingyu about you, hoping you might drop by while he’s at his best friend’s place. Your name on his phone screen earlier in the night had stopped his heart cold. He couldn’t imagine why you were calling and not just texting, and he picked up the phone so fast he thought he might have fucked it up and accidentally pressed end. He tried to sound casual, normal, but his heart was pounding.

Standing in your living room he feels out of place, like a forgotten childhood relic unboxed in the middle of a new home. He doesn’t know which seat to sit in, he doesn’t have his spot on your couch here like he did at your old place. He doesn’t know where you keep your glasses or which remote would switch on the television. He doesn’t know which book you’ve been reading from the little stack on the table or the name of the place you’ve been working, and there’s a man’s jacket hanging on the wall in the hallway that he doesn’t recognize. He hopes it’s Mingyu’s.

He doesn’t know why he’s here. He should leave. He should go.

“Okay,” Your voice comes back, and he tears his eyes away from the little details of your life he doesn’t recognize to look back at you, “I’ve got a towel, socks, and I bet I have a sweatshirt of Gyu’s around here if you’re cold,”

“I’m good,” He recovers, taking the dry items from your hands.

Your fingers brush along his as you pass everything off and your stomach jumps.

“Come in,” You wave him in, “I’ll make some coffee or something and then I need to change,”

“You should get a warm shower,” He says abruptly, “you’ll catch a cold,”

“I’m fine,” You shake your head, “I wasn’t out there for too long,”

“I’ll make the coffee then, you need to get out of that wet dress,” He shoos you away and points to your kitchen, “I assume you have a normal coffee machine and not some fancy Italian thing?”

“I think you’ll be fine,” You smile, “I’ll just be a second,”

He nods, and you dart back down the hallway to your bedroom.

It takes you three minutes to change into something comfortable and clean and then kick all of your scattered clothes into the closet and shut the door. You run a brush through your tangled hair from the rain, and you almost forget that your childhood crush is walking freely around your apartment, but then you hear his laugh and you melt into the wall behind you. You missed the sound of it so much, and if you don’t get a handle on this right now you’re going to go out there and make a fool of yourself.

But then he laughs again.

You smile as you come back out into the living room, leaving your good sense behind in the bathroom, “What’s so funny?”

“I haven’t seen these in years,” He grins, and as you come around the corner you realize he’s looking at the photos you have framed and sitting in various spots on your bookshelf.

“Oh,” You smile, seeing the one he’s holding and studying, “yeah,”

“This one,” He tips the frame so you can see the picture, but you already know which one, Mingyu and Seungcheol in their first year of college stand in the center of the frame, Wonwoo, Jeonghan, Dokyeom, and Hoshi with their arms thrown around each other on either side. You are crouching in the center with Jeonghan’s little sister, both of you holding out a peace sign.

“Isn’t this the night we went to that haunted theme park?” Seungcheol asks with a smile.

“Yeah,” You take the photo back from him and look it over for a moment, “in Daegu,”

He nods, “I remember,”

“Yeah,” You place the photo back in it’s assigned spot and turn towards the kitchen, “I just remember you and DK scaring the living shit out of me,”

“God,” He runs a hand through his hair, “we did, I felt so bad about that after,”

“Mm,” You laugh.

“Gyu reamed us out for it later,” He follows you into the kitchen and watches as you pour two cups of freshly brewed coffee.

“He never told me that,” Your eyes perk up in surprise.

“He said,” Seungcheol straightens himself up to his full height and lets his face go passive for his impression, “‘If you ever make my sister cry like that again, you’ll be sorry,’”

“Sorry?” You laugh, “Mingyu wouldn’t know how to make someone sorry if his life depended on it,”

“I don’t know,” He shrugs, relaxing his shoulders and reaching for his cup, “it seemed pretty clear he wasn’t fucking around, we took him seriously,”

“Wow,” You lean against the counter, “that’s actually kind of sweet,”

“He’s always been protective of you,” Seungcheol points out, “even now, he’ll talk about you and I can see it,”

“I’m not a kid anymore, though,” You bristle a little.

“He knows that,” Seungcheol shakes his head, “he just worries, you know, it’s his nature,”

“Yeah,” You nod, taking a long sip of your coffee, “I know,”

Seungcheol hovers, not finding a place to lean or to sit in the unfamiliar place, and finally he just asks the question that’s been on his mind for the past twenty minutes, “Is that why you didn’t call him? He worries too much?”

“I guess a little,” You move past him and back into the living room, “come sit down, you’re making me nervous,”

He blushes and every little emotion you’ve ever had for him comes thundering back in your chest. There are at least three places for him to sit that aren’t directly next to you on the couch, but he ignores every one of them and sits next to you, barely a foot away, and turns towards you so he can put all his focus on you.

“So,” He prompts you, “come on, it’s just me,”

Talking to him was always easy, always. Even in the throes of your infatuation you were able to hold a conversation with him, sometimes a long one out on the balcony of your parent’s house. It’s almost irritating how quickly that familiarity and comfort comes back.

“I just feel like I’ve been really fucking this whole dating thing up,” You confess, “and Mingyu’s been… well you know him, he’s like the number one hype man for me making all my dreams come true, and being ten out of ten happy,”

“Yeah,” He nods, but lets you continue.

“But I just haven’t been able to make it work with anyone in a while,” You bite down the reason why in the back of your brain, “and every time I tell him about a bad date he just looks sadder and sadder for me,”

“Mm,” He nods, sympathetic, “I know exactly what you mean.”

“I’m so glad you picked up, honestly,” You glance down at the edge of your cup, “you’ve never treated me like that, and I just… I guess I needed a friend and not my brother tonight,”

He hesitates, but then his hand comes to rest on your knee and he gives you a squeeze, “I get it,” he says, “but, honestly it seems like you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself,”

“I know, but,” You sigh, your words dying out as you focus on his lingering hand on your knee.

“What’s so important about getting a guy right now?” He asks, and you almost laugh at the absurdity of this man asking you that question.

“Cheol,” You shift on the couch to reposition, pulling back your knee from his touch so you can face him and admit this without being dizzier than you are about his presence, “I don’t know, exactly, but… don’t you feel like living alone is kind of fucking lonely sometimes?”

His eyes flick over you and then he nods.

The words keep coming as much as you don’t want them to now that you’ve started telling someone, telling him the truth of it and you grimace as you admit it, “The sick part is that I think it’s me. Tonight was the exception, he was a dick, but most of these guys are nice. They’re nice, they’re respectful, they seem to be interested in me, but none of them are what I want, none of them are,”

You have to stop. You have to get off this topic and off this train before you say something really and truly stupid and burn this newly restored friendship down to ash.

“Having high standards isn’t a bad thing,” He offers, “and Gyu sets the bar high for how you should treat a woman, I mean,”

“You think I’m talking about Mingyu?” You laugh sharply.

“He’s the best guy I know,” He starts to say and then the wheels start turning.

It happens fast, your absolute lightning quick strike to the match, but your poor decision making usually goes something like this. It makes you mad at first, his constant reference to your perfect brother, but then it all makes sense. Seungcheol really has no idea how you feel about him, as a person or otherwise. It doesn’t enter his brain that the guy who set your standards for men so high might be him, even after he drove illegally fast on wet roads just to come get you because he heard you cry. Up until the last year of your life where you tried to install some distance, he was always there. He was always your first call, always your last call too, and you could never really see anyone else while he was towering right in front of you. He’s never let you down and he doesn’t even know it.

“I can’t believe you,” The words slip out, and then you’re kissing him.

He takes a sharp inhale of breath at the way you collapse onto him, holding yourself up with one hand on his chest and the other on his neck, and his mouth is so warm. You press the first kiss tentatively, and then the second a little more insistently, and then you realize he hasn’t moved an inch and isn’t kissing you back in the least.

You fly backwards, your hand over your mouth, “Oh, god, I’m so sorry,”

He clears his throat and shifts, shaking his head, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it,”

“I can’t believe I just did that,” You blush scarlet, “I’m a mess, I’m so, so sorry, Cheol,”

“Really,” He avoids your eyes, “it’s fine, it was an emotional night, and you just said it yourself, living alone is lonely. We’re good,”

“I didn’t kiss you because I was sad,” You run a hand through your hair and slump back on the couch, “I kissed you because you were being a dumb ass,”

“I feel like you’re insulting me a lot tonight considering I just drove across town for you,” He’s not angry, not really, but he doesn’t let you off so easily, he never has.

“I kissed you because you’re the best guy I know,” You counter his words back, “and I’m sick of you always putting yourself down when-”

He yanks you forwards by your wrist, and this kiss is what you’ll count forever as the first one. He drags your body forwards as he leans back against the couch and kisses you hard, his tongue dipping past your lips this time, his breath mingling with yours.

You shift for better purchase, your chest and his flush together, and you moan softly against his lips when his hand slips lower on your waist.

He breaks the kiss, his forehead leaning against yours, “What the fuck are we doing?”

“I think they call it making out,” You manage, your heart beating fast like a bird.

“Jesus,” He shakes his head, “what are we doing?”

“Cheol,” You start, but he kisses you again, hungrier and hotter as he pulls you in.

You pant against his mouth, your brain exploding into little fireworks as his hands start to wander, and then he groans, “You feel so good,”

This is going somewhere fast, and with your hands twisted in the fabric of his t-shirt you swing your leg over his hips and let him wrap his arms around you.

“We should slow down,” You find yourself mumbling against his mouth, “but I don’t want to, I want you,”

He nods against you, his hands squeezing your thighs where they rest on either side of him, “I want you too,”

“We should talk more,” You manage as his kisses travel over your jaw.

“Later?” He asks, his hands dragging you closer, “God, that dress,”

“Yeah?” You’re breathless already.

“If I knew you were going to kiss me I would have peeled it off you,” He pants.

A moan gets caught in your throat, your hips jerking, nipples hardening against his chest as you throw yourself into another kiss.

“God,” He shivers.

“Cheol stay,” You can talk later, he’s absolutely right, and you beg him not to go between kisses, “please stay,”

Logic starts to pump through him at the implications of that, so much more than kissing comes with staying for the night and he starts to shake his head, but at the way you’re touching him he can’t quite tear his hands away.

“I should go home,” He murmurs against your mouth, fingers slipping underneath the hem of your t-shirt, “you’ve been drinking,”

“I had two drinks,” You connect your lips with his again, tongue dipping into his mouth, “like three hours ago,”

“Still,” He kisses you again despite his words, his hand now flat against the small of your back.

“I’m not drunk,” You pull yourself closer using his shoulders, “if you don’t want to kiss me, don’t kiss me, but don’t use that as an excuse,”

“I should go home,” He repeats, like saying it out loud might make his body follow his brain, but it doesn’t. All he does is tug you closer, your legs now fully splayed around his hips as he leans back against the couch and groans against your mouth.

“I should,” He starts again, whispered thoughts against your lips, but you push back from his chest and break your mouths apart.

“If you want to go so bad, go,” You pull your arms away from him, crossing them under your chest to hold yourself steady. Your nails press pinpricks into your palms.

“This isn’t about what I want,” His eyes soften in that tender way you love, and his hand cups your waist, thumb brushing a line over the deep curve of your hip.

“Why wouldn’t this be about what you want?” You press him, “Or about what I want?”

“Mingyu is my best friend,” He says, his mouth drawn into a sullen line, “and I never want to do anything that betrays his trust or hurts him in any way,”

“I’m not asking you to,” Your voice is small.

“Just,” He sighs, his head tipping backwards against the cushions and his hands slipping to rest over your thighs, “tell me something, okay? Be honest,”

“Okay,”

“Do you want me because you’re lonely and I’m here,” He asks, his eyes locked to the ceiling, “or do you want me because you want me?”

Your arms fall slack and you open your mouth to respond but he presses forwards.

“Because if this is a one time thing to make us both feel better,” He shakes his head, “I can’t do that, I have to go home.”

“Cheol,” You murmur, but he doesn’t lift his head. You reach for him, brushing a hand along his cheek and drawing his gaze back down from the ceiling to your face, “Seungcheol, look at me,”

“Yeah,” He finally follows your gaze.

“I love my brother, but this isn’t about him,” You tell him clearly, and you watch his lips part so he can cut in but you shake your head, “it isn’t. This is about us, and I’ve had a crush on you since I was fucking thirteen,”

He blinks, a grin breaking across his face, “You have?”

“Yeah,” You shuffle closer on his lap, “why do you think I disappeared? You started dating that girl and I just… it wasn’t my place to say anything, it’s not like you were mine, but,”

He brushes the hair back from your cheek as he nods, “It hurts to see the person you want with someone else,”

“Yeah,”

“And you wanted me?”

You nod, stroking his neck where your hand rests, “I just needed some space after that, I thought I could move on,”

“I know the feeling,” He smiles, his thumb tender against your jaw, “believe me,”

“I do,” You nod, “so believe me when I tell you I’ve wanted you for a long time and I don’t just want the one night,”

He sits frozen, his eyes studying your expression, and then he’s moving. Seungcheol pulls you down to meet his mouth again, hands roughly threading into your hair and gripping your hip as he tugs your bodies flush together. He kisses like you hope he fucks, passionate and a little messy, like his need to be inside you and consumed by you is more important than any vanity.

“God,” He groans against your mouth, “he’s going to kill me,”

“Probably,” You huff a laugh against his lips, rolling your hips forwards to slot your bodies together tightly, and at the feeling of his hardening cock pressed against your sex you can’t help the breathy moan that slips out.

He drops his hands to your hips, coaxing you into rolling them again as he presses upwards and you follow his guidance with ease. He curses softly and you roll your hips again, “Oh, fuck my fucking life,” he groans, kissing his way down your throat, “he’ll kill me, but you’re worth it,”

“I better be,” You tease him, tugging gently on his hair as he licks a stripe along your throat.

“Oh, you are,” He shifts back up to kiss your lips again, his mouth pillowy soft and hot against yours, “and I love Gyu, but,”

“Seungcheol,” You push on his shoulders.

His rarely used full name gets his attention and he leans back just enough to see your face, “What’s wrong?”

“Can you please stop talking about my brother while you’re trying to fuck me?” You can hear the whine in your own voice, “I need you right now, we’ll deal with him later,”

“Sorry, sorry,” He smiles, “of course, come here,”

You melt into him as he gathers you closer, his warm, rough hands finding new expanses of skin to touch and it’s strange but delicious to know that there are still brand new things you can learn about a person even after knowing them all your life. He gets soft beneath you like butter when you touch his ears, audibly groans when you grind against him, and gets breathier every time you kiss his neck. He’s not afraid to make little noises in your ear, to curse when you do something right or softly beg you to do something again.

With his mouth on yours and his hands exploring you, you’re just a shaky wet mess in his arms and he doesn’t even fully realize it yet, still so focused on studying your body with his lips, his tongue.

“Ch-Cheol,” You whine as his teeth nip at your pulsepoint, “baby,”

His hands tighten, sliding to cup your backside through the thin fabric of your lounge pants, “Say that again,”

“Baby?”

He exhales hot air across your neck and chest, “God, I like that,”

“You hate pet names,” You sigh, remembering how his nose always crinkled in an uncomfortable scrunch when he heard people getting too coupley.

“No, I don’t,” His hand slides up, tucks under the waistband of your pants, and slides back down to feel your skin, “I hate cringey shit. You calling me ‘baby’ while you’re grinding on my dick isn’t cringey, it’s fucking hot,”

“Ah,” You tug his hair just a little, rolling your hips again, “yeah? Like this?”

His hips jolt up, pressing his cock against your clothed mound and he groans, “Say it,” he nips at your neck again and then pushes you backwards so that you’re sitting up straddling his lap, “and let me see you,”

For a brief flickering second you feel shy, another stark moment of awareness that the man between your thighs is Mingyu’s best friend, but it flashes away the minute you see his smile. He’s looking up at you like you invented the sun and you think it just might make you dizzy enough to say yes to anything he could ever ask of you.

“God,” His eyes rake over you, “you’re so fucking pretty,”

Blush creeps up your chest, “Yeah, baby?”

He swallows hard, his hands coasting up your arms and his eyes coming to rest on the heavy swell of your chest, “The prettiest.” His fingers tuck underneath the straps of your tank top and your bralette and he glances up to your face, “Can I see?”

“Please,” You whisper.

He moves slowly, peeling down the straps from each of your shoulders first, letting the thin fabric of your tank top droop down your arms until he’s left with just the stretchy elastic of your black bralette. His fingers trace your curves, the pad of his thumb ghosting over one of your hardening nipples until it pushes into a firm peak under the fabric.

“Cheol, please,” If he doesn’t touch you soon you’re going to be a squirming mess.

“Relax,” He toys with the strap, “we’ve got all night,”

You gasp as he dips forwards, peeling the front of your top down entirely until your breasts spill out of the elastic fabric. His lips connect with your skin, tongue exploring intimate parts of you in ways you’ve never experienced quite like this with anyone else.

“These,” He cups your full breasts in his hands, kissing along each swell, “are perfect, princess,”

You shiver at that, whining in his grip as he traces his tongue down and ghosts it close to your nipple, but you smile and manage, “I really took you for an ass man,”

“I’m an everything man where you’re concerned,” He flicks his tongue experimentally across the hardened bud and hums softly when you jolt in his arms, “so excuse me if I have to slow down and show my appreciation,”

This crush is going to kill you, that’s the thought that gets instantly banished from your brain the second Seungcheol wraps his lips around one nipple while his fingers pinch the other, setting a steady pace of sucking and teasing that is sure to leave pleasured little bruises.

“Oh,” You grip his shoulders, “oh, Jesus, Cheol,”

“Feel good, baby?” He switches sides smoothly and sucks again.

A jolt of pleasure rocks from your chest to your untouched clit and you rock down, trying desperately to press your aching center against anything for a little friction.

“Yeah?” He prompts you gently.

“So, so good,” You nod, rolling again, “but I need more, please,”

He nods against your chest, pressing one more kiss to your breastbone before he says, “y/n, I don’t want to move too fast or anything, we’ll do whatever you want, but,”

“But what?” You’re about a second from pushing his hand into your underwear yourself.

“Can I eat you out?”

Your stomach flips, “Oh, fuck yes,”

You’re on your back practically the second you give him permission. He holds you tight to his chest as he pushes himself up off the couch and flips you around, dropping you back onto the cushions and tugging at your clothes. Normally you’d be a little self conscious, especially in the brighter light of your living room and not the dim strategic lightning of your bedroom, but Seungcheol keeps looking at every inch of your body like he’s starving for it, groaning in pleasure at every inch of you that gets revealed, and you’re starting to think he really does like everything about you.

You help push off your pants with shaky hands, but let him loop his thumbs under the thin straps of your underwear and tug those free, a slick wet patch in the middle where you’ve been soaking through the cotton for the past half hour. You help him with your top, until finally you’re completely bare and he’s pushing you to lie back onto the extended length of the chaise while he falls to his knees before you.

“Wow,” He breathes, his hands running along your thighs, “just… wow,”

“Stop,” You can’t stop the blush now, and you fight the urge to reach for a blanket or cross your arms over yourself at his exacting gaze.

“Nope,” He dips his hands to your inner thighs and pushes your legs apart little by little, “I’m going to enjoy every bit of this,”

“Now you’re just trying to embarrass me,” You smile.

His tongue darts out to wet hips lips and he shakes his head, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,”

Your stomach churns, flipping nervously as he looks at you so earnestly.

“I’m serious,” He kisses your knee as he opens one of your legs wider, “I’ve thought about this a thousand times, but you’re so much better than my imagination,”

“Cheol,” You whisper tightly.

“Mm,” He sighs as he tips your hips back, maneuvering your legs wide and open now and shifting your hips to the very edge of the couch so he can tuck smoothly between your open legs, “I wonder if you taste as sweet as I imagined too,”

Your fingers grip down on the cushions, your heart hammering in your chest.

“Look at you,” He sighs pleasantly, his fingers ghosting along the edge of your lower lips, “is all this for me, baby?”

“Uh-huh,” Your breath hitches as his finger just barely touches your seam.

“You got this wet just from grinding on my lap?” He smiles, his teeth catching his thick bottom lip.

“Cheol,” It’s all you can manage, you really didn’t know he was like this.

His eyes soften up though at the sound of his name on your lips, and he kisses your thigh tenderly before looking back up to you, “Doing good? Okay?”

“Mhm,” You’re fine, you are, except you think you might come the second he touches you and you’re a little terrified at just how intense he is from minute one.

“y/n,” He squeezes you a little.

“I’m good,” You breathe, “I promise,”

“Okay,” He kisses your skin again and nods, “just relax, okay?”

“I’m relaxed,” You answer too quickly and one of his eyebrows goes high.

“Mhm,” He eases up on his knees a little to see your face better and smooths his hand from your leg to your hip to your stomach, “what’s going on?”

“This is just a little surreal,” You admit, “isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” He releases your legs and shifts up so he can lean over your body, catching your mouth again in a soft kiss, “it is, but do you trust me?”

“Of course,” You kiss him back.

“Then you should know,” He nuzzles your nose with his, “that all I want to do right now is make you come on my face until you can’t think, and after that if you still want to take this further we can, but baby, I really don’t care what we do tonight. I just want to be with you,”

Your mouth runs dry, and you can feel your core throbbing hard between your legs, your heart fluttering fast.

“So, please, can I make you come?” He smiles, pressing another quick kiss to your lips, “I think you want me to,”

“Yes,” The nervous knots in your stomach release, “please, Coups,”

His nose scrunches as he laughs, kissing his way down your chest, “It’s Coups now?”

“Cheol,” You whine, “you’re stalling,”

“It’s called foreplay,” He licks a firm line between your breasts and moves lower, “have you not been getting fucked right, princess?”

“F-fuck,” Your back arches as his lips travel down over your belly, eyes slipping closed, “Seungcheol,”

He shakes his head, his hair brushing against your skin, “No more baby?” He makes a sulky noise with his tongue against the back of his teeth, “Come on princess, call me baby,”

Your mind is spinning, and you gasp sharply as his fingers finally slide through your wet slit and land at the apex, pressing deliciously down over your throbbing clit, “Ch-Cheol, fuck, oh fuck, baby,”

“There she is,” He groans, and as his fingers fall away and his lips take their place. He licks a deep stripe through your folds and groans, spreading your legs open wide with his hands anchored on the backs of your thighs, “You’re perfect,”

You moan as he sucks the tender bud of your clit into his mouth.

“I’m going to do this everyday,” He pants, licking another stripe, exploring every inch of your cunt with his tongue, “you’ll be my dessert every night,”

“Ah,” Your head rocks back as pleasure lights up your spine, “baby,”

“Mm,” He groans into your core, burying his face against you and alternating perfectly between sharp sucks and flicks of his tongue.

You are moving fast, from nothing to desperate something in the span of a couple of hours, but honestly you’ve never felt safer and better and more held than this. His hands roam your body, seeking every soft place he can grab and squeeze and hold onto, and you just know the bruises on your hips will be worth it when he finally fucks you.

“Come on,” He tips your hips back to get better access, wrapping his arms around your thick thighs, “don’t be shy,”

“Oh, shit,” Your hand flies down to grip his hair and anchor your position as he manhandles you, your other hand gripping the cushions, “just like that,”

He sucks harder and flicks the tip of his tongue against your bud again, quickening his pace and listening carefully for your sounds to know what you need. Looking down between your legs you can barely believe the sight, but there he is, Choi Seungcheol with his face glistening. His lips are puffy and red, his eyes hooded, and he grins when he sees you watching before nodding just a little and redoubling his efforts.

Your legs are trembling now, the start of your orgasm building up through the base of your spine and flooding warmth into your belly, and if he wasn’t holding you so tightly you’re sure you’d snap.

“Baby,” You whine, your voice sounding not quite your own as heat floods in your chest, “oh, God, please don’t stop,”

He sucks hard, shifting to kiss your core and push the tender muscle of his tongue inside you, “I’ve got you,” he pants as he works his tongue faster, “I’ve got you,”

He’s a mess, wet with slick across cheeks and sweat on his brow, and you think for a split second you might actually be in love with this man already, no one has ever, ever treated your body quite like this. As he shifts to tease your clit again, building the pleasure up and up higher, you grip down on his hair harder.

“I’m,” You stammer out, your back arching and your mouth falling slack, “I’m gonna,”

He nods into you but doesn’t stop the pace of his tongue one bit.

“I’m,” You gasp again, “coming, fuck, I’m coming,”

It hits you all at once, punctuated with his sharp suck to your clit and your legs snap shut around his head, your body wrenching sideways as the wave takes you from conscious to that hazy middle space of pleasure. You can barely breathe, you can't even think, all you can do is feel pulse after pulse of pleasure.

“Fuck,” He curses, and your brain connects enough to realize your legs are still snapped tightly shut around his ears but you can’t get your body to respond, “yeah, fuck, there you go,”

Everything you are is trembling in his hands.

“I could fucking die happy,” He says, shifting to nip your plush thigh with his teeth, his hands gripping down on your curves, “right here between your legs,”

You make a sound, you think, and he chuckles against your skin.

“Mm-mm,” He sighs pleasantly, his hands running from your thighs to your hips and down to cup your backside, “you’re fucking gorgeous, y/n, I love every fucking inch of you,”

“Y-yeah?” Your eyes flutter open.

“Mhm,” He flicks his tongue over your clit once more, eliciting a deep shudder from your hips before he says, “I can’t wait to fuck you,”

Your legs start to relax, and you look down, “Then fuck me,”

“I want another first,” He shakes his head, “please, let me make you come again, sweetheart,”

“Oh,” You shiver as he kisses your slit again, letting his tongue linger, “fuck,”

He sighs, “This pussy,”

“Cheol,” You blush hard.

“I would do anything,” He smiles, flicking your clit again with his tongue, “for this perfect fucking pussy,”

“Anything?”

He goes still between your legs and then he nods, wetting his lips with his tongue, pressing a kiss to your quivering cunt, and looking up over your body to meet your eyes, “Anything.”

“Will you come up here?” You reach for him, “Will you hold me?”

He eases your legs down off his shoulders and shifts up, “Yeah, of course,”

“Will you,” You nearly come again just at the sight of a sizeable wet spot on his sweats, and you tug at his shirt to try and silently communicate your need, “I want to touch you too,”

“Mhm,” He stands up, shucking off his clothes as quickly as he can, and when he pushes down his boxer briefs your muscles clench.

When you were younger, a teenager inexperienced with sex and boys, you imagined his cock. You saw the faint outline of it once through a pair of athletic shorts and you wondered what he might look like naked. You wondered if you would like his body. You wondered if he would like yours too. You can’t really remember what you imagined Seungcheol’s cock to look like, but you know this is better. It’s long, but not too long, like the guys who can’t fit it in all the way without smashing painfully into your cervix, but it’s thick. His cock is heavy, deserving of the word, and perfectly straight until the very end where it curls up towards his abdomen.

You want him inside you so badly you could cry.

“You okay?” He says as he slides up the couch next to you, your naked hip against his.

“A little nervous,” You admit quietly, turning towards him on the cushions and drawing him closer with your hand on his shoulder.

“Me too,” He says softly, maneuvering until one arm is wrapped around your back and your head is pillowed on his other, your chests flush against each other, his cock trapped between your stomachs.

“God,” You shift closer to him, tangling your legs together, “you’re so hard,”

He nods, sighing at the way your skin drags against his, “You’re making me insane,”

“Good,” You smile, finding his lips with yours, tasting yourself on him and dipping your tongue into his mouth as you deepen the kiss.

He groans against you, and you snake a hand between your bodies to wrap around his aching cock. “Oh, fuck,” he curses as you pump your hand up and down his shaft, “easy, it’s been a while,”

“Yeah?” You soften your grip a little, rolling your hand at the tip and feeling precum bead up and smear on your belly, “Saving yourself for me, baby?”

He moans softly, his eyes rolling shut, “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

“Maybe,” You kiss the corner of his mouth and pump his cock a little harder.

“L-let me touch you,” He pants, his hand pushing your hips back just enough so that he can fit a hand in between your thighs, “can I touch you?”

It’s dizzying how much he begs to pleasure you, and you’re starting to think maybe this is part of what he needs, but you’re still new to each other’s bodies and learning and you suppose you’ll have time to figure all of this out. It’s not just a one night thing.

“Touch me,” You open your legs for him and he immediately slides his fingers down your slit to your aching entrance.

“Don’t stop,” He urges you and you realize at the feeling of his fingers you stopped pumping your hand.

You smile, kissing him again and finding a new pace with a stroke of your hand and a roll of your wrist, “You feel so good, baby,”

“So do you,” He pants, and then he pushes two fingers inside your slick walls.

You choke out a wine, pushing your hips forwards into his hand so he can go deeper.

“God,” He holds you firm with his other hand, “you’re too tight,”

“Too tight?” You huff, still working your hand over his cock, “never gotten that complaint before,”

“Not a complaint, princess,” He teases, drawing his fingers out of your channel before thrusting back inside, “but I need to prep you a little, I don’t want to hurt you,”

Your muscles clench down around his fingers.

He laughs softly, “Oh, yeah, babygirl? You want me inside?”

You nod, a whine trapped on your lips, “Cheol, please,”

“Shh, shh,” He shifts, effectively sliding down the couch a little more while you slide up, and he rests his head on your shoulder and adjusts the angle of his arm so he can pump his fingers in and out of your channel at a steadier pace. He watches the way his fingers disappear inside you with rapt attention, cursing when he feels you grip down on him, “You want to come again?”

“P-please,” You’re doing your best to keep working your hand, but at the way his fingers are curled inside you and pressing rhythmically against your sweet spot you think you’re about to see stars again.

“Fuck, baby,” He sighs, “you’re so sexy,”

All you can do is moan, grip down on his shoulder and let him have you.

When he pushes in a third finger to stretch you, you gasp tightly at the sensation, the pleasure rocketing up your back and making your brain buzz.

“Are you close?” He pumps his hand harder, finding your nearby nipple with his tongue and your body arches again.

“Close,” You pant, your legs widening as you try to brace yourself, your hand falling away from his cock and gripping down on his thigh as the rolling wave of your orgasm starts to wash up over you.

“Come for me,” He’s gripping you hard, like you belong to him and he wants only to please you, and his words combined with the way his hands lay on you leaves you coming apart at the seams.

The sound of it is obscene, wet and filthy and pornagraphic and you’ve never in your life had sex with someone for the first time and had it be anything close to perfect. Your bodies want each other with such need. It's entirely outside your conscious brain, and you think if he can love your body like this then maybe he can love all the other parts of you, and you never want to let him go.

Your orgasm hits you harder than the first, locking your body up in spasmodic elation, and he curls around you when you twist to make sure he works you through the crest of it, his hand only slowing down when the pulses of pleasure start to ease.

When you come back to earth, you’re pressed face down onto the couch instead of up, your cheek against the cool fabric below you. Seungcheol is wrapped around your body like he’s glued to your back, and you feel his soft breath against your cheek and shoulder, his easy kisses on whatever part of you he can reach. His hand is still tucked underneath you and between your legs, cupping your cunt warmly and just holding you as you come down.

“Cheol?” You murmur, your brain almost a little foggy at the heady feeling of two full body orgasms.

“Hey, there you are,” He kisses you again, “feeling okay?”

“Mm,” You nod, “so, so good,”

He smiles, “Yeah? Did I get you?”

You laugh against the cushions, shaking your head, “Babe, I just came so hard I blacked out,” your body stretches, pressing your core into the cup of his hand, “you definitely got me,”

“Mm,” He rocks his hand and you sigh a little overstimulated sound, “should we stop here?”

He doesn’t know, you realize it suddenly, he has no idea how badly you want him. He’s been so focused on your body, your pleasure, your wants, but you can see it now in the hesitation in voice that he still doesn’t know for sure if you want to be here with him or if you just wanted someone.

He’s been touching you like it might be the only time, his only chance to have you and hold you in his arms. Didn’t he believe you when you said it wasn’t one night?

“Seungcheol,” You wriggle in his arms, “baby,”

“What’s wrong?” He gives you the space to roll and you twist against him.

You see his eyes when you turn, like he’s waiting for something and you curse yourself inside for not telling him like he was telling you. You smile, pushing his shoulder until he’s flat on his back, “What’s wrong is that you’re not inside me,”

“O-oh,” He gasps as you hook a leg over his hips and straddle him, your body hovering over his prone cock.

“Mhm,” You drop your body over him, your slick slit nestling directly over his cock, “but I’ve been so selfish,”

He shakes his head to protest but you lay your fingers over his lips to stop him.

“I want you, Cheol,” You drag your hips and find the head of his cock so you can dip and press it against your entrance, “so fucking much,”

He’s breathing heavy against your hand, your eyes locked on eachother.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” You stay steady above him.

He nods, just a little.

“I’ve never wanted anybody like I want you,” You tell him, “never,”

His lip quirks a little, a small smile as he presses a kiss to your fingers, “I’m all yours,” he whispers.

You sink your hips back in one smooth flush motion, taking him inside you to the hilt without warning, and his head falls back as he moans. He’s stretching you out wide and full, his thick cock pushing into every spot inside you that you didn’t know could feel like this.

“Oh my fuck,” Your body moves on it’s own, rocking your hips in a circle to take him deeper and roll your clit across his pubic bone, “Cheol, Cheol,”

He blinks hard, finding your eyes at the sound of his voice, “Yeah?”

You feel strangely like you might cry at the rush of endorphins, and you roll your hips again, whining out a need, “Hold me, please? Please, touch me,”

Seungcheol softens, his hands unclench on the cushions below him and he coasts his warm hands over your thighs, your hips, up and down your sides, “I’m right here,” he murmurs.

You relish in the feeling of it, and you direct them from their wandering comfort to a landing place on your hips, the perfect soft place for him to grip in with his fingers and keep you steady while you work him. He follows your lead, watching you above him with no hesitation, and his mouth falls slack when he watches you get your position right on your knees and lift up to draw his cock out of your warm, wet channel.

“y/n,” He pants tightly.

You sink back down hard and he groans, cursing and no doubt leaving a pretty bouquet of bruises where his fingers press down.

“Your cock,” You moan as you bounce again, finding a steady rhythm, “you feel so perfect,”

“Yeah?” He bounces you, teeth clenched as he tries not to come too early.

“Made for me,” You grind down and jolt against the pleasure, “never felt something this good,”

He groans, a hot pant of breath and then he stutters his hips upwards, “D-don’t, I’ll come,”

“Good,” You sink down and back up, feeling him stretch you open again and again.

“Come here,” He reaches up for you, tugging you down by your neck to get you close and you can feel him suddenly reposition and change the angle, take back control as he pins you to his chest and pumps his hips.

The way his cock punches into you, curved and pressing directly into your g-spot, makes you choke out a moan and dig your nails into his chest.

“Say you love my cock,” He pants suddenly in your ear, “if it feels so good, say it, tell me,”

You moan sharply, “I fucking love your cock,”

“Fuck yes,” His hand claps down on your ass and grips you tight as his hips piston upwards.

“Ah, ah,” Your legs are trembling again, “I can’t,”

“Yes, you can,” He pants, “I want to feel you come on my cock, babygirl, squeeze me,”

Your eyes slam shut.

“So fucking tight,” He breathes, “so wet,”

“For you,” You choke out and hips stutter.

“Oh, f-fuck,” He pushes up hard, but instead of thrusting he locks his hips there with your bodies pressed flush together and at the sound of his sudden moan, the way his hands lock tight on your body, the way warmth floods your belly, you know he’s coming.

Your brain somersaults and you rock your hips, trying to keep catching the friction against your clit to help push you over the edge, “Ah,” you whine, “no, please,”

He doesn’t go anywhere though, he just presses his hips up to keep giving you the pressure you need and holds your hips down with his broad hands, and you hear him hiss at the overstimulation but he groans and manages, “Come baby, you’re so close, there you go, there you go,”

You’re saying something, but you can’t really hear it. All you can feel is the bubble about to burst inside you as you drag yourself fast and frantic against his body. You’re needy and seconds away, falling into trembles again.

“So beautiful,” He mumbles, dragging your mouth up to his and locking you in a heady kiss.

“Cheol!” You squeak against him, body cracking apart into shakes as you come, probably louder than you wanted to as you fall into the sweet space between his neck and shoulder.

“I’ve got you,” His softening cock slides out as you come, but he slides a hand between your thighs and rubs fast circles on your swollen clit, “fuck, look at you, god, you’re such a mess,”

Your brain is dizzy as he talks you through the edges of your orgasm.

“So wet,” He bites down softly on your shoulder, “soaked for me and full of my cum, fuck,”

As you collapse on his chest, your orgasm receding, his hand slows, but his fingers stay slipped between your folds in the messy mixture of your slick wetness and his release. You are a mess, but he seems to like it and if you’re benign honest so do you.

“I’m so,” You breathe out, shaky and exhausted, “god, I don’t know,”

“Mhm,” He sighs, and finally he slides his fingers out of you to rest on your hip, his other hand stroking a line up and down your back while you recover together.

You need to get up, run to the bathroom and get the shower started, but you’re boneless and floating and he’s just the perfect temperature, so for a little while you don’t move.

When he shifts his hips under yours to readjust your eyes pop open and you start to move, “Am I hurting you?”

“Shh,” He wraps his arms around you and gathers you tight to his chest, “don’t you dare go anywhere,”

“Yeah?”

“You’re perfect,” He repeats and you smile against his skin, “next time I want you sitting on my face,”

You laugh against him, “Next time?”

He’s quiet, his fingers still dragging up and down your spine, “If you want,”

You shift up in his arms, settling on his chest so that you can see his face, “So much,”

He cups your cheek, brushing his thumb along your face, as he smiles, “I missed you, you know,”

Tears prick at the back of your eyes and your throat goes thick, and you don’t trust your voice but you nod and press your lips to his, “I missed you too, all the time,”

He gives you a moment, just staying calm and kind with his hands, and then he leans up to capture your lips once more, this kiss so much softer and more familiar from the frantic emotion a few minutes ago. His kisses travel from your lips to your forehead and then he smooths back the tangled mess of your hair, “We should get cleaned up,” he murmurs, “how are you feeling?”

“Like I might not ever walk again,” You joke wryly.

“I didn't hurt you, did I?” He leans to look you over, “I got a little carried away,”

You shake your head, “No, I’m perfect, I promise,”

“We didn’t talk much beforehand,” He notes, brushing his palm over the swell of your hip, dipping at your hip crease, and tracing up over again at the curve of your thigh, “I just want to be sure you’re feeling okay with everything,”

“I’d tell you if I wasn’t,” You press, “you know I would,”

“Good,” He sighs.

You stretch on top of him, your knees aching from your curled position and you smile, “You want to get a shower? We can share the hot water,”

“You’re insatiable,” He quirks an eyebrow at you.

“Not for sex,” You slap his chest lightly as you climb off him, wincing at the sudden stretch of your knees, “I can barely move,”

“I like a challenge,” He sighs, rolling off the chaise and stretching long and you catch yourself watching the strong flex of his back, the cut of his shoulders, the curve of his ass and his muscular thighs.

Maybe you could rally.

Seungcheol turns and his eyes flick over your body too, “Yeah,” he nods, “I think I can get one more out of you,”

“My shower is shockingly small, so,” You reach for him, guiding him down the hall with you, “we’ll see,”

“I said I like a challenge,” He shrugs, and all of a sudden you can’t stop laughing.

Your shower is small, but in the end it doesn’t matter. Seungcheol ends up crouched on his knees anyways, with one of your legs hitched over his shoulder while he takes his sweet time with his tongue bringing you up to your softest, easiest orgasm of the night. You trade lazy kisses in the warmth after, the suds long gone and your fingers pruned by the time you fall into bed.

You don’t have to ask him to stay, he just does. You talk for as long as you can keep your eyes open, stories of years ago when you saw him almost every single day. You whisper late into the night, until finally he falls asleep first, his head lolled to the side, but his hand still wrapped tightly around yours.

You tumble into sleep right alongside him, his skin smelling of sweet peach and nectarine.

In the morning, you wake up to something cold suddenly pressed to your cheek and you start to stitch together the world around you in quick threads.

“Kkuma,” Seungcheol’s voice reaches you first, a hushed whisper as he tries to get his dog’s attention, “come here girl, let her sleep,”

You groan a little, and you realize the something cold was Kkuma’s very wet nose against your cheek. Instead of listening to Seungcheol, she presses her nose to you again and follows it up with a lick, her panting excitement pushing you from laying on your side to your back as she collapses over your chest.

“Kkuma!” He exclaims quietly, “down girl!”

Your eyes start to pop open, and this time you see his dog’s fluffy white face inches from your own, delighted that you’re awake.

“Kkuma,” He tries to drop his voice to a lower tone to get her attention.

“It’s okay,” You yawn, reaching up to scratch Kkuma behind the ears, “I’m awake now,”

“I’m sorry,” Seungcheol moves into your bedroom, and you can see he’s fully dressed and has been for some time, “I didn’t think she would just jump on you like that,”

Your brain is still a little sluggish and you rub your hand over your face, “Did you go home?”

He grins and nods at your sleepy question, the answer obvious from the dog on your chest, “Yeah, I needed to run home and take her for a walk, I hope you don’t mind I let myself back in,”

“Not at all,” You smile up at him, “I’m just sad you’re not in the cuddle pile,”

“We can fix that,” He tosses his beanie on your nightstand and then holds up a little carrier containing two coffees and a few little pastry bags, “and I bring gifts,”

“From that place by your apartment?” You brighten, recognizing the stamped logos on the cups.

“Mhm,” He passes over your cup, “sugar, no cream,”

“You remembered,” You push yourself up in bed, Kkuma adjusting herself to snuggle into your side, and accept the cup, “thank you,”

He lays his heavy denim jacket on the chair by your dresser and slips back into bed with you, dragging the covers back over both your legs, “Of course, I did, not that much could have changed in a year, right?”

“Mm-mm,” Your legs slide together as you tuck under his arm and settle back into his chest.

His fingers play with the ends of your hair while he sips his coffee, and then he sighs, “y/n,”

Your stomach freezes and you wonder if you’re about to get let down easy. If waking up in the morning cleared his head, if a text from Mingyu changed his mind, if on the trip back to his place he worked out the right way to break your heart, if he practiced it out loud in his car with the dog.

“What’s up?” You say, hoping you sound far more casual than you feel.

“About Gyu,” He exhales heavy, his coffee leaning against his thigh as he gathers his words, “listen,”

“Don’t,” You murmur, pressing your eyes closed, “please don’t go,”

“Go?” He asks.

“I’ll tell him, and I know he’ll be fine after the shock wears off,” You twist in the bed to look up at him, “please just stay, last night was… Cheol, please just think about this,”

His brows knit together tight in confusion and he sets his coffee on your bedside table to free up his hand and brush it along your cheek, “I was going to say, about Gyu, I’m meeting him for lunch at two. I’d like to tell him about us today,”

“You what,” You blink.

“I’d like to tell him that I picked you up after your date,” He says, “and that we got to talking, and that we kissed,”

You can almost see Mingyu’s wide puppy eyes as he realizes where the story is going to go.

“And that I asked you out on a date,” Seungcheol finishes, “and he’s going to ask me a lot of other questions which I definitely am not going to answer, except one thing,”

You swallow nervously, your coffee almost tipping to the side forgotten in your hands until he plucks it up and sets it to the side.

“He’s going to ask me if I’m serious about you,” He says calmly, like you’ve discussed this before, “and I’m going to say yes, but that’s the kind of thing you should know before your brother does.”

“You’re serious about me,” You say it back, your heart picking up as the words come off your tongue.

“Yes,” He nods, unequivocal, “and I hope you feel the same way because before I drive across town and tell my best friend I’m in love with his sister, I just need to know if you feel even a tenth of that,”

Your heart should be pounding, your stomach fluttering, your body flooding with emotion at the casual confession, but all you feel is calm. Mingyu told you once that life would fall into place, you just never thought you’d have that realization while it was happening around you.

You try to keep a straight face when you say, “There’s only one problem,”

“Okay,” He says, but you watch his hand fidget in his lap.

“You never actually asked me out on a date,” You point out with a smile, “and I don’t want to lie to Mingyu about anything,”

He grins, his tongue dragging against one side of his teeth as he shakes his head in disbelief, “You’re right,” he says, “that’s my mistake, will you go out with me?”

“I’d love to,” You lean into him so you can press a quick kiss to his lips and take his hand in yours, lacing his anxiously twitching fingers with yours to hold him steady, “and if Gyu gives you any lip about this,” you kiss him again, “tell him I’m in love with his best friend,”

“You are?” His fingers tighten on your hand.

“Mhm,” You suddenly can’t keep your lips away from his, “and you tell him that if he does anything to ruin this, that I’ll make him sorry,”

“Now that,” He laughs, “that I believe,”

You pull him down to you and your body without another word, and with a hushed apology he pushes Kkuma off the bed so he can splay you out in the middle of the mattress. He takes you fast, hurried and full of need now that you have so much time ahead of you for slow. For now, you have a lot of catching up to do.

When you finally make it out of bed the coffee is cold and Seungcheol is late for lunch.

#honeyhotteoks updates #honeyhotteoks fics #seventeen ff #seventeen fic #svt fanfic #svt ff #scoups x reader #seungcheol x reader #choi seungcheol #scoups #scoups fic #scoups smut #scoups ff #seungcheol smut #seungcheol fluff

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gojonanami · 1 year

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[ last updated: 07/06/2024 ]

‧ ˚. PROFESSOR GETO SERIES ↳ Professor Suguru Geto is a renown ethics professor, and you're a straight A student whose GPA he's trying to ruin. You're more intent on making him see your brilliance -- but you get more than you bargained for, when the two of you learn about what you owe to each other.

‧ ˚. PROFESSOR GOJO SERIES ↳ Professor Satoru Gojo had never failed at anything -- until his latest research project. That's why he had found himself at a weeklong conference, where he discovers the perfect distraction -- you. And he can't help but be drawn to you - even after he finds out that you're the one person he's trying to avoid most

‧ ˚. SATORU GOJO

seeing you tonight, its a bad idea right? | smut, fluff ↳ seeing your ex is always a bad idea, except when its satoru gojo.

bigger than the whole sky | angst, fluff, manga spoilers ↳ before his fight, you and satoru have an honest conversation about the future.

dessert before dinner | smut, fluff ↳ satoru can't wait to have you until you get back from the sister school event, so he plies you with sweet words until you agree to have dessert before dinner.

all's fair (in love and mergers) | long fic, smut, fluff, bffs to enemies to lovers ↳ you're not sure what's worse -- being an arranged marriage or being an arranged marriage with the person who used to be your best friend.

three's a crowd (ft. suguru geto) | long fic, au, smut, fluff ↳ professors satoru gojo and suguru geto rarely wanted the same thing at the same time -- that was until you.

bloodsucker | smut, dark ↳ you had avoided your ex for so long, only to run into him at a halloween party, and he's the same as ever but has his teeth always been that sharp?

got you | smut, dark ↳ satoru finally found you -- and he's not going to let you go this time.

is it over now | angst, fluff, smut ↳ suguru thinks the only way you'll leave him is if he lies to you about cheating on him - and it is. but turns out, you're not so easy to leave - for him and his best friend (ft. satoru gojo). "if you want, i can come inside?" | fluff, crack, domestic ↳ nobara spots gojo with a sorcerer she's never seen before and of course hijinks ensue (aka hearing gojo's english va (kaiji tang) say the above line in apothecary diaries and i lost my mind).

i wanna show you off | sugar daddy au, smut, fluff, slight angst ↳ when you accompany your friends to a bar rich men and women frequent, you catch the eye of a certain white-haired rich man, who is more than willing to spoil you

tastes sweeter on your lips | fluff ↳ on a rare day off, you decide to take care of the strongest sorcerer - with something very sweet.

the doctor is in | smut, fluff, au ↳ when you go to your annual check-up, you didn't think you'd be crushing on your doctor - or that he's conduct such an in-depth examination.

twenty-nine | fluff, angst, crack ↳ it's gojo's birthday, and he can't help but reflect on what birthdays have meant to him over the years, especially the year you decide you don't really want to do anything for his birthday (but it turns out you do).

sit in my lap | fluff, crack, domesticity ↳ you and satoru take your daughter to see santa at the mall, and satoru proves that he's just as much of a match for his daughter, as he is for you.

just a little longer | fluff, angst ↳ after geto defects, you find yourself on a roof of a building wondering where things went wrong - and you're not the only one.

sweet nothing | fluff, angst ↳ satoru always comes running home to your sweet nothings -- except this time.

lower your guard | fluff, smut, au, longfic ↳ after the gojo family receives threats to their lives, you're hired to protect the heir to the company, satoru gojo - you just didn't realize how charming the rich heir would be - and just how hard it would be to resist his advances. don't want any other shade of blue but you | fluff, smut, fake dating, longfic ↳ you can't help but say yes when your longtime crush asks you to be his fake girlfriend for a year to get the gojo clan to stop arranging marriage proposals for him. but little did you know, he would be doing both of you a favor. love means to say goodbye | multi-lives au, fluff, smut, angst, jjk manga spoilers ↳ "would we love each other in every life?" it's the question you asked satoru the night before his battle, and he replied that, of course you would. but did that promise create a curse -- or were you both always cursed to begin with when it came to love? yakuza fiance (ft. suguru geto) | smut, yakuza au, fluff, threesome ↳ you had no patience for the yakuza lifestyle your grandfather had -- you wanted to live a normal life, but when it leaks that your grandfather is in talks to have you engaged to one of two yakuza heirs -- you realize you're in deeper than you thought -- especially when they both fall in love with you.

a house is not a home | canon au, fluff, suggestive ↳ you come home after a long day of work unable to find the person you call home anywhere — until you reach the bedroom (househusband gojo).

just wanna fuck with you, just to make up with you! | smut, modern au, fluff ↳ satoru gojo is the man everyone wants, except you - he pushed you away after you had your daughter, you divorced him. so what happens when he comes to pick up your daughter for his weekend, and he finds you ready for a date?

rumor has it that my best friend loves you (and i do too!) | smut, actor au, fluff ↳ rumors swirl about a love triangle between you and your two heart throb co-stars on the set of jujutsu kaisen. except in this case, you and your two co-stars are happily dating. but what happens when you get casted in a movie where they want you to have a PR relationship with your co-star? especially when your bfs find out who it is

break my soul in two (but you're right here) | angst, manga spoilers ↳ satoru showed no concern for himself -- so you had to, even if no one else would.

‧ ˚. SUGURU GETO

meant to be | smut, dark ↳ when Suguru defects, he asks you to come with him -- but he's not going to take no for an answer.

three's a crowd (ft. satoru gojo) | long fic, au, smut, fluff ↳ professors satoru gojo and suguru geto rarely wanted the same thing at the same time -- that was until you.

is it over now (ft. satoru gojo) | angst, fluff, smut ↳ suguru thinks the only way you'll leave him is if he lies to you about cheating on him - and it is. but turns out, you're not so easy to leave -- for him and his best friend

might hurt | fluff, crack ↳ suguru's popularity is truly a curse, especially when he gets hit on right in front of you. luckily, you both know how to handle those situations.

i just want to fuck all night | smut, fluff, sex pollen ↳ after swallowing a curse, geto finds his body in an uncontrollable state of arousal, and who better help him cure it than you?

would it be enough if i could never give you peace? | fluff, angst, smut ↳ suguru's birthday spent with you is like a dream -- the perfect day spent in bliss, but what happens when the dream has to come to an end?

yakuza fiance (ft. satoru gojo) | smut, yakuza au, fluff, threesome ↳ you had no patience for the yakuza lifestyle your grandfather had -- you wanted to live a normal life, but when it leaks that your grandfather is in talks to have you engaged to one of two yakuza heirs -- you realize you're in deeper than you thought -- especially when they both fall in love with you.

‧ ˚. KENTO NANAMI

no regrets | hurt/comfort, fluff, angst ↳ when nanami is injured from his fight with mahito, you're sent to pick him up. and both of your careful avoidance of your feelings for each other comes crumbling down.

armed and dangerous | smut ↳ nanami's arms were always so nice around your throat, but you never tried having his arm between your legs before, until.

good girls get backshots | smut ↳ nanami has always been a gentleman, but he finally decides to play rough and mark you up -- at your request.

five times nanami wanted to propose but didn't | angst, fluff, smut ↳ nanami wanted to propose to you so many times - but it was never the right time, and then, there was no time left.

best part of my day | fluff, domesticity ↳ on a bad day, you give nanami just what he needs, and remind him why you are truly the best part of his day.

all the time in the world | fluff, hurt/comfort ↳ after shibuya, nanami lets you tend to his burns and have an honest discussion about what happened there and what it means for your future. but i'm a fire (and i'll keep your brittle heart warm) | fluff, hurt/comfort, smut, au ↳ throughout your years of jujutsu tech, you take care of kento, whether its a wound from a curse or a simple cut his finger -- and when he returns he finds you still ready to take care of him -- even after shibuya.

‧ ˚. YUTA OKKOTSU

↳ coming soon :)

‧ ˚. CHOSO KAMO

it's a need | hurt/comfort, smut, fluff ↳ after you take an attack meant for him, choso can't seem to understand why -- so you show him just how important he is to you.

hey emo boy! | fluff, smut, au ↳ saw this boy at the mall last week. got the kind of look to make me freak. wanna fuck in the back of the hot topic?

best friend's brother is the one for me! | fluff, au, smut, bedsharing ↳ you've been asked whether you and yuji are together a million times - but the truth is his brother is more your type -- so what happens when you end up sharing a bed one night?

just one more bite! | fluff, modern au, smut, vampire au ↳ choso kamo is your coworker who seems to hate your guts - even though you're both always stuck working together, but the only reason he does is because he wants nothing more than to eat you up -- blood and all.

‧ ˚. RYOMEN SUKUNA

paint the town red | smut, dark, au ↳ you've always been a goody two shoes -- or so your friends say -- so what happens when you decide to do the first bad thing you've ever attempted and try summoning a demon -- and it actually works?

the girl next door | smut, age gap, modern au ↳ you had grown up next door to the itadoris, but you never had met their uncle. and for good reason, he had spent the majority of his life in and out of jail. but now he was finally out, and he only had one goal in mind -- getting you in his bed.

‧ ˚. YUJI ITADORI

don't want you like a best friend! | best friends to lovers, fluff, fwb, smut, au ↳ yuji itadori has been your best friend since you were kids, and when he offers you to teach you how to fuck, you don't expect him to be able to find his way into your heart too.

jealousy, jealousy | smut

which of the men whimper | smut

spooning the dilfs | fluff

jjk men and if they're good at singing | crack

househusband suguru

househusband nanami househusband gojo (1) (2) (3)

mindreader nanami

geto swallowing a aphrodisiac curse

gojo - maybe in another life

guitarist! suguru x opera singer! reader (1) (2) (3)

frat boy! suguru x nerd! reader (1) (2) (3)

curse! suguru (1) (2) (3) bringing suguru back to life

#sab [mlist]#sab [navi]#note concepts are my use only!

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ad0rechuu · 9 months

Text

۪ ᝰ ۫ MY OH MY ୨୧

based on my oh my by girls' generation

SYNOPSIS. ━━━━━ Yn finds out that her whole relationship has been a bet. To get over her heartache her best friend Sunwoo convinces her to take revenge.

How you might ask? By breaking the culprits heart right back of course!

10jun23 | st. 31/12/23 ━ fn. 01/07/24

pairing. ━━━━━ Best Friend! Kim Sunwoo x Fem! reader (x Choi Yeonjun)

featuring. ━━━━━ the boyz members, kim chaewon, txt members + mentions of other idols

genre. ━━━━━ smau + written: humor/crack / fluff / angst / suggestive / childhood friends to lovers / college au / revenge relationship / relationship based on bet / slight slow burn

warnings. ━━━━━ timestamps/sm numbers/hair colors mean nothing, sexism/slutshaming, crude humor (kys jokes), mentions of & illusions to of food/sex/drugs/alcohol/cheating/mental illness, use of pictures of yn but only for reference, yn is a sone (snsd fan). more thorough warnings in the actual chapters, please let me know if missed something. this story doesn’t describe the idols in real life and is written with a dark skinned poc in mind!

notes. ━━━━━ the taglist is open, send an ask to be added. spam likes are fine but consider reblogging with comments of ur thoughts (not only on my work but on other authors work too! credits to the rightful owners of all the graphics. i’m not a native english speaker! and thank you to @ari-shipping-stuff for being my beta reader / writer <3

( please give this story lots of love & check out my masterlist )

PROFILES. ━━━━━ SONES INCORPORATED ᜊ DA HOMIEZ ᜊ MORE COOL KIDS ᜊ THE PLAYLIST

STEP 1. GET OVER HIM ›

ᝰ CH 000. prologue: THE NEXT BET

ᝰ CH 001. I H8 MEN

ᝰ CH 002. DON’T BREAK UP WITH THAT LOSER

ᝰ CH 003. THE PLAN

ᝰ CH 004. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

ᝰ CH 005. *INSERT EVIL LAUGHTER*

ᝰ CH 006. ANNOYING BRAT FOR SALE

ᝰ CH 007. DON'T WORRY YOUR PRETTY BIG HEAD

ᝰ CH 008. NOT OVER HIM

ᝰ CH 009. CLASSIC SUNWOO-YN-BFF-DATE

ᝰ CH 010. THE NERVE AND THE AUDACITY

STEP 2. MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU ›

ᝰ CH 011. STEP UP MY GAME

ᝰ CH 012. SASSY CAT EMOJI

ᝰ CH 013. A NIGHT ON THE TOWN W/ YN & WOO

ᝰ CH 014. GOOD NIGHT

ᝰ CH 015. HOBBIES FOR SUNWOO

ᝰ CH 016. GRAND DISCOVERY (YN HAS AN IDEA)

ᝰ CH 017. JUNS UNAPPROACHABLE AND COLD GF

ᝰ CH 018. HANGING OUT WITH MY BFS FRIENDS

ᝰ CH 019. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

ᝰ CH 020. DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME

STEP 3. BREAK HIS HEART ›

ᝰ CH 021. CODE ORANGE

ᝰ CH 022. I FUCKED UP

ᝰ CH 023. HITCH IN THE ROAD

ᝰ CH 024. CONSIDER AND MAKE SURE

ᝰ CH 025. WHAT MAKES THE HEART GROW WHAT?

ᝰ CH 026. BALLOON FLOWERS

ᝰ CH 027. REJECTION + ANEURYSM = WENT WELL

ᝰ CH 028. MAKEUP

ᝰ CH 029. BALLOON FLOWERS VERSUS ROSES

ᝰ CH 030. MINE (HIS)

ᝰ CH 00I. epilogue: A PEAK IN SUNYN’S LOVE

ᝰ CH 0II. ASK THEM ANYTHING EVENT

ᝰ AFTER WORD

special thanks (& follow these awesome ppl). ━━━━━ to @yuyusuyu @kodzumo @tocupid @leo-seonghwa @seonghwaddict @felixsramen : i have to give you six an extra special thanks because you all motivated and supported me so much while i was stressing and being annoying, just so you know guys are my motivation! (the other message is also to you all ofc)

and to @yunstarz @nyukyujs @rieuvie @thelargefrye @i-luvsang @cybrsan @gyumibear @pocketjoong @jaehunnyy @nebulousbrainsoup @justhere4kpop @xpixie @atinycafe @brrrkdslek @phantom-webber @a1sh1teruu @starryunho @aestheticsluut @end0rchans @yourfatherlucifer @alixnsuperstxr @girls4cheol @cheollipop @mintgki @aoi-turtle @renstears @42e15 @alixnsuperstxr @mrowwww @hwaightme @paradiqms @starrysvn @tubatu-wari-wari @kitten4sannie @chokchokk @hee0soo @joong-of-gold @armysantiny @evilsailorsenshi @mundayoonimnida @aapplepii @juhakutie : first of all i don’t expect you to read or interact with this fic, you might not even stan the boyz or like this sorta thing but i tagged you all because of one reason and one reason only; to tell you that you all make tumblr such a lovely and inspirational place for me, whenever i see ur accs it brightens my day because i know what great ppl are behind them, i just wanted to say that i think that you are amazing and i want to use this post to thank you! happy new years and i love you everyone (and you who’s reading this)

my oh my © ad0rechuu, 2023. do not copy/repost.

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fbfh · 3 months

Text

curiosity is a wonderful thing - ch. 9

wc: 3.2k

genre: slow burn, little angst, childhood best friends to lovers

pairing: slow burn bff!ben x fem daughter of alice!reader, previously audrey x ben, mal x ben???? apparently????

warnings: emotional damage!!! unusual behavior from ben, reader has a lil mini breakdown, reader is a just a tad autistic coded and has kind of a meltdown??? could also be read as emotional distress so interpret how you will

summary: ben gets weird during a tourney game and your gut is telling you something you probably shouldn't ignore.

song recs: twisted - aviva, cradles - sub urban, rabbit heart - florance and the machine, heads will roll - yeah yeah yeahs

a/n: YOOOOOOOOO IT'S GETTIN JUICYYYYYY. also our cat I mentioned in the an of chapter 8 has settled in well. he's so talkitive lol. I LOVE YOU GUYS I HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING HAPPY PRIIIIIDEEEEEEE~~~~~ BEEEEE WHO YOU AARRRREEEE FOR YOUR PRIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDEEEEEEEE

tags @yesv01@magcon7280 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sunshineangel-reads @dustyinkpages @inejsknifes @tulipmagnoliaisme @ev3ningrain SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE YELL AT ME IN THE NOTES AND ILL ADD YOU LOL

You take in a big lungful of the crisp, springtime fresh Auradon air as you crawl out of your rabbit hole and back into Overland. Roots and twigs and grass stick to your skirts, but you don’t mind much. You check your pocket watch in a panic, and scurry to the tourney match. You’re merely a pebble’s throw away, so you reach the bleachers quite quickly. Late, granted, but not too late. Not horribly, irreversibly, all-endingly late. You climb up to your usual spot in the bleachers, only a few seats away from the isle kids. Well, Mal and Evie, really, since Jay and Carlos are out on the field. You try to wave at the girls, but they seem much too preoccupied with the game to notice. You understand their fascination, tourney matches are simply addictive.

You yourself hadn’t been one for sports - aside from the occasional caucus race - that is, until Ben joined the tourney team last year. He must have spent every spare moment leading up to his first match trying to explain the rules to you with no luck, but the moment the referee blew her whistle, you were enamored watching him play. And it’s simply been that way ever since. No matter what it is, you know it will be a fantastical time if Ben’s the one playing. This seems especially true today.

Ben tears up the field like an absolute animal - no pun intended - and within minutes has scored yet another goal for Auradon. The Fighting Knights are pulling out all the stops, and through even your unwavering faith in Ben’s athleticism, it’s starting to look like a close call. You pull out a teacup from your bag, the china cool under your fingertips. It’s adorned with a white catchfly and chestnut print, but you don’t pay much attention to it.

Your eyes are locked on Ben as he races down the field, and you pour the spout of your tea pot shaped bag into the cup. Warm, perfectly brewed rooibos and nettle tea trickles from its spout. You shake it absentmindedly a few times, and some lemon slices and lavender sprigs fall in, floating atop the beverage. You take a sip of the warm, perfectly seasoned herbal tea, nearly choking on it as Jay drags Carlos across the field. You watch with bated breath as they move strategically, setting up Ben to score the perfect winning goal. The ball flies straight into the net, and you jump up, cheering and applauding, not even noticing the rooibos and nettle tea stain on your skirt. The crowd roars right along with you, applauding and cheering deafeningly while the announcer congratulates Auradon Prep on their win. Before he can even finish speaking, Ben grabs the mic from him.

You stop dead in your tracks, brow furrowed.

That’s not like him.

Not at all.

“Excuse me, excuse me!” Ben pants, still out of breath as he tries to get the crowd’s focus. “Can I have your attention please?”

The stands quiet as he speaks.

“There’s- uh, there’s something I’d like to say!”

What in the Knave’s good name is he doing? Your mind races, trying to remember if he’d said anything about something like this. Were there any speeches, any announcements, anything like that he was going to make after the game? You can’t remember him mentioning anything like that. Besides, he always runs his speeches by you first to make sure it comes across the way he intends it too. Even something as small as an opening statement or homework presentation, he always gets your feedback first. You watch the way his eyes dart around, the way he hesitates as he tries to figure out what he’s saying. Your stomach drops. He’s improvising this. This whole situation feels surreal. Most peculiar, and most definitely unlike him.

After another moment of floundering, he finally addresses the crowd.

“Give me an M!”

The crowd complies, shouting out the letter and mirroring the shape he’s making with his arms.

“Give me an A!”

“A!”

While the crowd complies yet again, throwing their arms over their heads in an A shape, your eyes fly over to Audrey. You’re afraid you know where this is going, even though it makes positively less sense than the most twisting turning riddles you’ve ever encountered in Wonderland. Your horrified, bewildered expression is the opposite of her hopeful one, and you realize you’re thinking the same thing. Your stomach sinks in a sick, twisting feeling. Your mind races in a dreamlike panic.

He can’t seriously be asking Audrey to marry him, could he?

There’s no way. There’s simply no chance that the Ben you’ve known for longer than you’ve been brewing tea would do something so… impulsive. Everything about Ben is calculated. Well thought through. Ben agonizes over each and every decision, he lies awake at night paralyzed by the potential consequences of each action, each choice not being thought all the way through and analyzed from every possible angle. If proposing to Audrey was even a thought in his mind, he would have told you about it.

There’s simply no other way. There’s no possibility this was even an option in his mind. Just last week when you had quietly implied that maybe he should consider ending their relationship, his silence spoke louder than any words could have. You had seen that. You saw it in his eyes. There’s no way he could be changing his mind that quickly, and not consulting you - or someone about it? You know you would have gotten wind if he even implied he was toying with the notion. Ben does not flip-flop. So what is… this?

“Give me an L!”

Audrey’s face drops. Yours floods with relief.

He’s not proposing.

“C’mon, I can’t hear you!” Ben calls out into the mic, hyping up the crowd. They yell Mal’s name again at Ben’s encouragement. You think you see where he’s going with this. It makes sense - Jay and Carlos each got a big starring moment during the tourney game. Now, Ben is giving a shout out to Mal and Evie so they can share in the glory, and won’t feel left out. It’s a brilliant idea, you realize, but you still can’t figure out why he didn’t plan something like this ahead. Did he realize last minute that Mal and Evie might feel excluded? It’s possible. And right now, it’s the most rational explanation you have for this unusual behavior. Before you can feel too relieved, he leans into the mic. You wait for him to instruct the crowd to give him an E, beginning to spell Evie’s name, and-

“I love you, Mal!”

Your stomach drops. You freeze again, brow furrowed more than before. The world around you spins as you stand in the crowd, disoriented. He says it like a deathbed confession, the words tearing from his throat. Through your confused stupor, you can hear the sincerity, the yearning in his voice.

What?

You don’t even think to look over at Audrey, but you’re sure as anything her expression is exactly the same as yours - completely and totally shell shocked. Probably moreso, you think, she is his girlfriend after all. But is she? Anymore, that is. You can’t imagine she would want to be after a display like that, after Ben publicly-

Ben…

Ben.

His gaze flicks over to you for a split second, not even long enough for you to silently ask him what the hell is going on. But it’s just long enough for you to see a flash of something. A look in his eye. Fear. Confusion. Everything you’re feeling for him right now. His attention is ripped forcefully back to Mal. Whatever was there, you can’t see it now.

“Give me a beat!” Ben demands overzealously to the band. They start playing something for him, something loud and fast. Ben begins singing Mal’s praises. Literally. You’re still frozen, sick with a cold, confused feeling that makes the world around you feel like a strange dream. Unreal. You begin to question if you are dreaming. Through your dazed state - which you only later realize has begun to be accompanied by hot tears blurring your vision - you could swear you saw Mal and Evie share some sort of look, whisper knowingly. They giggle. Mal pulls a zip top bag of cookies out of her jacket pocket and they both start giggling. Laughing.

A noise catches your scattered attention and you notice Ben has launched himself into the stands, crowd surfing to get all the way over to Mal. He climbs down, grabbing her waist and pulling her close. It’s so intense, so passionate, so unlike him to do something like that in public. You start to gasp, but you can’t. The stands are so loud, each noise feels like a gunshot deafening you. Your lungs feel like they’re being squeezed from the bottom up like paint tubes, gripped by an artist desperate for the last drops of cadmium yellow deep.

His hand rests firmly on the small of her back.

Just like it does on yours.

Something sickening twists through you, contaminating your heart and sapping away at your strength. Audrey’s voice cuts through, piercing and shrill as she announces to Ben that Chad is her boyfriend now. You see them kiss in your peripheral vision, eyes still locked on the way Ben’s hand sits on Mal’s back. He doesn’t seem to notice Audrey either, or at the very least, he doesn’t acknowledge her. Normally you’d giggle privately at how much that would irritate her, but nothing so frivolous crosses your mind just then.

“I love you, Mal!” Ben exclaims into the microphone. “Did I mention that?”

He leans closer, aching for her, needing her. But she puts her hands on his chest, trying to keep more distance between them.

“Mal,” he begs, panting as his breath fans across her face, his cheeks flushed. He grips her tighter, leaning closer until he’s practically dipping her. The crowd watches, shocked at the sight of Prince Ben - who is known for his diplomatic reserve and continuous composure - acting so bold in public. “Will you go to coronation with me?”

“Yes!” Mal’s response comes a little too easily.

You stare off into space in his general direction, choked with disbelief. You feel so frightened and confused and unwelcome. It’s a cold, isolated feeling of strangeness you’ve been running from since you could walk. You knew what people said about Wonderlandians, what they whispered behind your back when they thought you couldn’t hear. It was always Ben who made that feeling go away. He had seen the change in you, too. The more time you spent together since you were littles, the more he included you and sent disapproving princely looks to anyone who dared to tease you or make you feel like you’re not a part of Auradon, the more it started to work. He saw you relax, saw you believe him when he said he was happy to see you. He saw the shame and paranoia from accepting the fact that everyone around you was teasing you behind your back, spreading lies and rumors fade away.

Ben watched you grow into yourself the moment he showed you that you were safe to do so. Now, after ten years, that horrible feeling is back and Ben is gone. You turn, rushing out of the bleachers, hopping down to solid ground and turning underneath the stands. You’ve barely stopped before the world caves in around you, and the familiar scent of earth and night and the good kind of confusion envelop your senses, like a hug from your mother.

You fall down the rabbit hole, and you weep. Shamelessly, loudly, uncontrolled. Your tears fly off into the air above you as you fall, no longer afraid of prying eyes. You cry and cry, losing your sense of time and space as you fall deeper and deeper away from the world that never seems to lose amusement in stinging you when you least expect it. You take in a breath, but before you can let it out as another aching sob, you’re plunged underwater.

Your eyes flare open in the deep waves around you, the black void of a sky above. You kick yourself up to the surface, gasping as you tread the current carrying you downstream. The water splashes around you, getting into your mouth, and it’s salty. A stork sails by on a little wooden raft, adjusting her captain’s hat. “Well, that would do it!” She exclaims in a thick, Wonderlandian accent. “I was wondering what caused these high tides.”

She maneuvers her raft towards you and hauls you onto it, her gangly legs wobbling awkwardly as she keeps her balance. She pulls a handkerchief out of her pocket and hands it to you, her long feathers tickling your fingertips.

“Dry your eyes there, dearie, or else we’ll be having to build a new dam!”

You sputter an apology, which she dismisses goodnaturedly, and begins singing a confusing sea shanty as she navigates the waves, coming and going as you try to calm yourself. After a few minutes, a particularly large wave pushes you two over the river’s edge and sends you spinning into the forest.

“Well, there you have it.” She says, taking off her cap and dumping out water, sand, a few shells, and a very irritable codfish. She unties the strings of her raft, gathering up the large sticks used to make it into a bundle, and tucking them under her arm.

“Quite useful, you know,” She says softly, before handing you a piece of nicely shaped paper. It reads The Two Blwo’s Shipping Survise. “And if you ever need something lickety split, I do hope you’ll give me a call.”

She tilts her hat and lopes off through the woods into darkness.

You plop yourself down on the nearest thing - a large, bioluminescent blue mushroom with little purple spots that makes a sound like a big deep drum when you sit down on it. Several smaller mushrooms varying in size scatter near the base of the one you’re seated on. As you pull your foot up to get comfortable, you graze a few of the litter ones, and let out different tones and types of drums too. Normally this would fascinate you. Normally you would be taking pictures, writing about them in your journal, and trying to learn how to play a song on them - if they’re in the right sort of temperament, of course. But today you don’t even notice.

Your mind is still spiraling, sucked down into a whirlpool of the day’s events. You go over and over what happened, hoping to make sense of it, but unable to really process anything. That was so strange, Ben is acting so strange. Why is he acting like that, you wonder. Did he hit his head? Has he somehow been possessed by a very extroverted poltergeist? Why would he do that? It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t even make nonsense. Even in Wonderland, there are still patterns, there are still rules and motivations for doing things. Even if those rules and patterns don’t make sense to anyone else, they’re still real. Wonderland is illogical and absurd, but it’s not purely random.

You rock yourself comfortingly on the bouncy mushroom, the soft noise providing an ambiance that helps you start to think again. There’s no feasible pattern or non-pattern or non-pattern pattern to Ben’s behavior. If there were one, you would be able to find it, especially if you know him as well as you do. And you do. You glance down and see some beetles marching in a line, carrying leaf umbrellas to avoid any more falling tears. You wipe them from your cheeks quickly.

“My apologies.” You say, your voice polite and fragile. The head beetle chirps, clicking his wings and tipping his hat. He ushers the others past your mushroom quickly, putting their leaf umbrellas onto an umbrella leaf bush nearby.

A few bread-and-butterflies flitter over, carrying a tray of tea and cakes. They place it before you gently, brewing you a cup of blackberry earl grey with extra honey. You thank them, and they nod, flittering off and leaving a trail of buttery breadcrumbs as their wings flap. They land nearby, listening to you mutter to yourself as the line up to form a loaf. The tea and cakes are delicious, full of jam and honey, and they steady your nerves. You take in another breath, less shaky this time, and begin to think. Not panic, really think.

“There has to be a reason,” you mumble out loud, “There simply has to be. Ben doesn’t just lose his composure like this. He’s not devoid of sensibilities and decision making. He’s worked so hard to hone his reputation as someone trustworthy, someone full of common sense and compassion, and that… being that person for Auradon is everything to him.”

You place down your tea cup firmly, brow furrowing as your confusion melts away to determination.

“Everything! He would never do something so… impulsive, and foolhardy, and- and… not like him!”

You stand up quickly, landing on your feet.

“I must get to the bottom of this.” You pause. “Or top. Either way.”

You gather your things, fix your hair, and wring out the water from your dress. Even if Ben doesn’t care about his reputation anymore, about his future, the very future of Auradon and all who reside within it, you do. Your loyalty to Ben simply cannot be broken by a day like today. You won’t let him throw away everything he’s worked towards for no reason. For any reason! If he’s just gone mad, that’s one thing to be dealt with. But there’s a good chance he’ll come back to his senses sooner or later, and you refuse to let everything to hell in a handbasket until he does.

You are going to figure this out. You’re going to do as much damage control as needed until Ben is back to you and Back to himself. And he is going to come back to himself. You’re sure of it.

Filled with tea cakes and determination, you summon a rabbit hole back to Auradon, and jump through. You flip and twist through the darkness, falling past a bookshelf that floats along with you for a moment, offering a few titles that might prove useful.

When light breaks the surface and you hear the cracking of polished stone floors, you climb through and emerge into the library. You dust the dirt off yourself and off your hands, setting down your books on a table. You begin to look around, rushing through the library and moving with purpose. You pull book after book off the shelves until you can hardly carry them to the checkout desk. Many of them will be fruitless, you’re sure, but anything is better than nothing in times like these.

“Doing some light reading, Ms. Liddell?” The librarian asks, chuckling at the imposing stack of books you’ve placed before her as she scans through them.

“There’s nothing light about it, I’m afraid.”She looks up, surprised by the unusual heaviness to your voice, the sharp, focused determination. “Thank you, madam.” You say, grabbing all your books and marching off to your dorm. You have a lot of reading to get through.

#curiosity #curiosity is a wonderful thing #ben florian #ben florian x reader #descendants #descendants x reader #daughter of alice #daughter of alice!reader #liddell!reader

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lisired · 6 months

Text

little do you know

pairing: taeyong x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, angst, bffs to fwb to lovers, cheating, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy!)

summary: After three years away from Miami, Taeyong is finally ready to return to the city. He left a world behind here, but most importantly, he left you. And being invited on a friendly get-together trip to a beach resort gives him a little too much time to resume unfinished business between you both.

word count: 14.9k

a/n: loosely inspired by don’t make it harder on me by chloe x halle. as always, feedback is appreciated!

Your heart beat for Jung Jaehyun.

That was what you told yourself, over and over again. You wanted to convince yourself that at some point, you would believe it. After all, how could you not? He was everything any woman could have dreamed of in a man. Handsome, sensual, humorous and vulnerable.

But he wasn’t Taeyong.

Darn Taeyong. He left you. For good reason, but that was no excuse for you to linger around. Especially not when you were in a commited relationship with his friend.

The moment you made it to your room after checking into the seaside resort, you immediately flopped onto the bed. A very large chunk of you wanted to draw away and hide, but you knew better. And an even larger chunk of you wanted to see Taeyong.

Three years. That was how long you’d waited. If you were being honest, your heart couldn’t take anymore. You missed your best friend.

Jaehyun came out of the bathroom, half-naked, one might add, and had a good laugh at the sight of you sulking on the bed. “Rise and shine, sleepyhead. We have a long day ahead of us.”

You made a noise of protest and wrapped your arms around one of the pillows tightly. You had little to no problem sharing a bed with Jaehyun. As expected, given you were a couple, though you slept in your own more often than not.

Even though you had been together for nearly three years, Jaehyun hadn’t moved in with you or vice versa. It would seem that you and Jaehyun were very compatible. For one, both of you made your preference to take things slow very clear. Neither of you had been in a rush to move in with each other. Regardless, you’d slept in the same bed before, because you were comfortable. But you knew you weren’t ready for the next step, and Jaehyun never pushed you, because frankly, neither was he.

Deep in your heart, you knew Jaehyun was more like a good friend to you than a lover.

You heaved out a breath. “Do I have to?”

“Yes. Everyone will be expecting you. This is one of those rare moments where everyone will be together in one place. Do you know how hard it is to get Ten to stop moving?” Jaehyun joked, moving over to the bed to separate you from the pillow, much to your discontent.

But you didn’t argue, because he was right and you knew it. You gave a wistful smile. Aging came with a vicious price, and for your friends, time was the luxury you couldn’t afford. Each of you had lives of your own, but no matter where you were, your friendship still stood strong.

“Fine,” you grumbled, rolling out of bed and fishing through your suitcase. It contained a week’s worth of clothes - including swimsuits.

Jaehyun snickered and slithered back into the bathroom to give you some privacy. In spite of the many, many times you'd seen each other naked.

You threw on a bikini and styled yourself a little. Definitely not to impress anyone. Then, you heaved a sigh and let Jaehyun know that you were ready. Maybe even he could tell that you were far from.

The entire elevator ride downstairs, you could feel your heart pound faster as you watched the numbers drop, indicating what floor you were on. It dinged and opened once you arrived at your destination, and Jaehyun held your hand in his, leading you outside.

The sweet gesture made it a little easier to breathe, but you were still uneasy. What the hell were you even so scared of? It wasn’t like Taeyong had completely ghosted the hell out of you. The distance made it harder to keep in contact, but he made every effort to talk to you. You were still best friends and no amount of miles between you would change that.

You just couldn’t get him out of your mind, no matter how hard you tried. No matter how much time had passed, you couldn’t forget the way it felt to be by his side, and you longed to feel that way again.

No, you hissed to yourself. Taeyong is just your friend. Jaehyun is your boyfriend. You love him.

And you truly did. But not the way you loved Taeyong. A love like that was irreplicable.

The moon was on display in the evening sky, bright and full. It mirrored in the water. Strings of neon lights irradiated the beach for miles. There was a large pool squarely between the ocean and the resort and an array of chairs stretched across the sand underneath your feet.

You were walking towards the group of people surrounding a bonfire at the beach, until you heard someone scream from behind you, “Boo!”

Jaehyun jumped, your hand still in his, but you screamed as if you wanted your cries to be heard from the opposite end of the ocean. Behind you, the culprit was no other than Rosé.

Rosé pointed her finger and laughed. “Works like a charm every time.”

You rolled your eyes and pulled her in for a hug. “What happened to saying ‘hi,’ or ‘hello,’” you complained, patting her back.

She pouted. “I’m sorry, guys.” Then, released you promptly once she’d had her fill to give Jaehyun a turn.

“What are your plans for the week?” Jaehyun asked, smiling sheepishly.

“Just checking in with my friends and family. As you would expect,” Rosé replied in her familiar aussie accent. Then, she turned to you. “Speaking of which, Taeyong is looking for you.”

You blinked. “Really?”

“Absolutely. He’s over there, all sullen and morose. You should go talk to him.”

Turning to take a peek, you spotted Taeyong by his lonesome at the water. He stood there, simply staring into the distance. Very much sullen and morose.

Because of me. You bade the thought away with a tiny shake of your head.

“Will you be okay?” you asked, shifting your glance to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun didn’t tie you down. “Go. He’s your best friend and it’s been three years. Besides, Rosé and I have a lot to catch up on anyways.”

Rosé gave you an encouraging nod. You gave her one final hug and your boyfriend a brief kiss to cheek before they sent you off. And you blew out a heavy breath as you marched his way.

It was no secret that when Taeyong left, your relationship - or lack thereof - was on shaky ground. Neither of you ever explained what was happening between you, but even a blind man could tell you were sleeping with each other.

You had wanted more, but Taeyong loathed labels and despised commitment. Frankly, you couldn’t blame him. He watched his parents' marriage crumble before his eyes. He gave his heart to someone and they shattered it into pieces. That was why you never bothered to try to make him yours. You feared rejection like it haunted you every night in your nightmares.

Foolishly, you had believed the feelings would eventually fade in his absence. But they only grew. No matter who tried to take his place in your heart.

You slipped beside Taeyong with heavy breath. The air was fresh, but it hardly touched your lungs. He could see your reflection in the water, and turned around to face you before you could get a word in. “Hey.”

“Hi,” you croaked, chiding your heart to calm herself down.

Taeyong smiled. You saw his eyes twinkle in the moonlight. “Long time no see.”

“Relax. I’ve seen you perfectly fine over FaceTime,” you joked.

Taeyong rolled his eyes, but smiled and said, “You know it’s not the same. Come here.”

You immediately crashed into his arms like you couldn’t bear the wait any longer. He was right - it wasn’t the same. You missed the way his embrace warmed you to the core. Taeyong's arms were always where you felt safest. As if no harm could reach you as long as he was there.

Peering up against his chest, you finally got a good look at him. Was it possible that he looked even better than the last time you saw him three years ago?

Moonlight nuzzled his skin, making him look even more breathtaking. Its beam lit his sharp features and blond hair. The last time you'd seen it in person, it was black with blue streaks. Keeping Taeyong away from his dye was a Sisyphean task.

Taeyong - arms in a loop around your waist - asked, “You know what else is different?”

“What?”

“I couldn't do this.”

He offered little to no preparation before you were being tickled mercilessly, sent into a fit of involuntary giggling. Given most of your body was exposed, you were ultimately rendered helpless against his nimble fingers.

Fighting your way out of his clasp was mission impossible. Taeyong always had ample strength over you, biceps taut with muscle. You could only arduously plead for him to stop, but to no avail, nearly on the verge of tears of laughter.

Taeyong heaved a pleased sigh and smirked. Needlessly to say, he missed this. “What’s the magic word?”

“Please,” you rasped, fighting for breath. And freedom.

“What’s that?” Taeyong mocked, molding his features as if he sincerely misheard you. “I can’t hear you. You’re laughing too hard.”

Louder, you begged, “Please!”

Taeyong dithered, but ultimately released you from his clutches. You heaved for breath, laughter fading into a smile on your lips as your ribs tensed with every inhale. Playfulness had always been an element of Taeyong’s nature, under the layer of his sober demeanor. Old habits die hard, you thought, melancholy.

“Too much?” Taeyong asked.

You shook your head, beaming. “I’m fine. Just out of breath.”

Taeyong snickered. Of course, you were. Leave it to him to milk your lungs - and stamina - for all that they were worth.

Taeyong gave you a once-over. With your body so close to his, he couldn’t ignore the way your warmth felt against his bare flesh. And promptly, his eyes fell on your figure. You were still beautiful. Some people deteriorated with age, but never you. It was like you could only become more gorgeous as the days passed.

You looked the same, but still so different all at once. Perhaps most notably was your eyes. They gleamed, a little sadder than before. He couldn’t help but think that that was because of him.

Then his eyes fell lower. The bikini you wore complemented your frame a little too goddamn well. Once upon a time, he owned your body. He recalled all those times he made you scream his name for the world to hear.

Taeyong swiftly swept those memories away. Like hell he would catch a boner at the beach, which would definitely happen the longer he thought about the way you felt around him. Besides, your body didn’t belong to him anymore. And neither did your heart.

Your heart beat for Jaehyun.

You cleared your throat. “So, uh - how have you been?”

“I can’t complain,” Taeyong replied, nodding his head. ��My grandmother is doing a whole lot better than she was three years ago. The meds have been a great help. As you can see, she’s well enough to go without me again.”

“That’s wonderful news.” You always adored Mrs. Lee. The moment you discovered the ailing condition she was in, your heart hurt for her.

Taeyong smiled thinly. “It is. It hurt seeing her like that everyday. I was so scared of losing her.”

You nodded in understanding. Above all, you knew that was Taeyong’s greatest fear in general - losing someone he treasured. He had a heart too big for his body. When he received the call from the hospital about his grandmother, Taeyong didn’t hesitate to travel across the globe to take care of her. Even on such short notice.

The entire trajectory of his life changed with one phone call. He had to drop everything to be there for her. The life he had made for himself here. Even if she didn’t make it, Taeyong knew he had to be there for her in her final moments.

You both respected and understood the rationale behind his abrupt withdrawal - which Taeyong was endlessly grateful for - but watching him leave wounded you like nothing else.

You endeavored to fill the void in his absence. That was where Jaehyun came in. You started seeing each other only a few months after Taeyong left for Seoul and began dating not too long after. You liked Jaehyun, but it wasn’t the same. And it wasn’t him; it was you. Regardless of how good a man was to you, none of that mattered if he wasn’t Taeyong.

Desperately did you want to forget about Taeyong and the way he made you feel. It would have been no use waiting around for him in the first place. He would never let you in. He never did.

None of that ever happened. When Jaehyun made love to you, you thought of Taeyong. The way his calloused hands felt on your body. How he strung you to orgasm time after time without fail. When Jaehyun took you out on dates, you imagined it was Taeyong spoiling you. You couldn’t shake the thought of him; couldn’t shake the feelings you had for your best friend.

They said time was the best healer, but you were still head over heels in love with a boy that was too scared to love you back.

“I missed you, Taeyong,” you admitted in a soft voice.

Taeyong avoided your eyes, facing the ocean. You did, too. “I missed you, too. It wasn’t easy, you know. Leaving. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare apologize for doing what you needed to do,” you chastised. “I understand. We would have all done the same thing if we were you. Don’t sweat it.”

“Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

You nudged his side a little. “What are best friends for?”

That stung like hell. What if he told you that he wanted more than that?

The two of you talked for a little on the shore, feet dug in the wet sand. You watched the moon wallow in the glistening waters. It served as a rough reminder to you. The way it felt when your body was in one place with one man, but your heart was across the pacific ocean with another.

Above all, you wished he would have never stolen it from you.

It became too much after a while and Taeyong made an excuse about neglecting the rest of friends to avoid spending further one-on-one time with you. No one interrupted. Unsurprisingly. The two of you had been closer than ever. They knew better.

You were a bit hurt, but more so relieved. You felt like you couldn’t breathe next to Taeyong. Joining the rest of your friends felt like a breath of fresh air.

The ten of you gathered around the bonfire, chatting and catching up. Taeyong wasn't the only one that had come from abroad. Lisa was visiting from Thailand, Rosé had returned from New Zealand, and Ten was… everywhere. A successful career in modeling would do that to you.

Miami was the heart of your friendship. It was where you had met and where you would always meet again. Most of you were from different places, but it would always be a special spot for your group of friends. And no matter where you were, as long as you were together, you were home.

After a while, you slipped away to grab a drink from the bar hut. From the distance, you could see Taeyong laughing.

You had gotten so used to loving him from afar. Even when he wasn’t across the ocean, he was still a world away.

Rosé stole a seat at the barstool beside you, following your gaze. “You missed him, huh?”

For a brief second, your head snapped in her direction. You would never forget what a great friend she was. Easy to confide in, capable of garnering all your secrets in her palm. But this was different. “Of course. I missed you all,” you replied, deliberately straying away from the narrow path she was leading you down.

Rosé gave you an unconvinced look. “Uh huh. And it has nothing to do with the two of you sleeping with each other?”

You were borderline affronted she would even ask you that. You glanced away. “That didn’t mean anything. We were just a pair of horny fucks. Taeyong didn’t want anything serious anyways.”

“But did you?”

You bristled. Curse her. Even in high school, she could always see dead through you. “No,” you lied through your teeth. “Besides, it wouldn’t matter if I did. That was three years ago. I have Jaehyun now.”

“Love has no expiration date,” Rosé told you, unsparing. You sensed no foul intentions from her, but something about it made you dangerously uneasy. “Some people spend their whole lives hopelessly in love with the same person.”

Your brows furrowed. That’s odd, you thought to yourself. Why was she hell-bent on trying to convince you to admit you had feelings for Taeyong?

Maybe it was nothing. You and Rosé went way back, as did the rest of the group. There wasn’t a mean bone in her body.

You’re just overthinking it, you reasoned. Taeyong coming back has you overwhelmed with emotions.

“I guess,” you said half-heartedly, downing another shot. You’d be damned if you somehow managed to get through the night sober.

Rosé discerned that you wouldn’t give an inch and stood to her feet, smiling and patting your back gently before she left to regroup with the others. You followed suit.

For the rest of the evening, you tried your best to stick close to your boyfriend. And away from Taeyong. More than anything, you needed a distraction. The closer you were to him, the more thoughts of your best friend ran rampant in your mind.

You wanted to forgo every thought of him, but it was significantly easier said than done. It was like everything stopped then suddenly hit you all at once now that he had returned, and you didn’t know how to cope.

Alcohol had the opposite of the intended effect. You were hyper focused on every tiny detail, noticing even the most mundane things about him. You could have paid your bills with your raw love for Taeyong, but under the influence, it was worth its weight in gold.

“I’m tired,” you whispered to Jaehyun, patting his arm. “I’m going back to the room. Come back when you’re ready.”

Jaehyun nodded and gave you a swift kiss to the cheek. “Don’t wait up.”

You smiled, bid mostly everyone goodnight, and went on your way. Strangely enough, Taeyong had disappeared in the millisecond that you’d glanced away.

You wrapped a towel around your body. When you were finally inside of the resort, you were relieved by the warm indoor air. It wasn’t exactly true that you were tired, but you needed a breather. Another second and it was guaranteed that you would lose whatever bit of mind you still had.

Ironically, when the elevator opened, Taeyong glanced up from his phone and faced you. He cocked a brow. “And where do you think you’re sneaking off to?”

“Upstairs,” you stammered, and promptly scolding yourself for doing so. “I’m spent and decided to call it a night.”

Taeyong bobbed his head and wondered if he had anything to do with it. You weren’t subtle in the slightest earlier, sneaking glances at him. Sneaking wasn’t an apt term.

“Would it be weird if I walked you to your room?”

You swallowed thickly. You had made so many memories with Taeyong in a single lifetime that every tiny thing reminded you of him. You remembered those days when he would walk you home, especially at night. Like hell he would let you walk home by yourself after dark.

Every now and then in high school, he would walk you to and from class, and to your front doorstep after school. You would chat incessantly in the meantime, squeezing as much conversation between classes as possible.

Everyone knew you were best friends. To see you two in the halls together, it was merely just another day. On more than one occasion, your teachers would ask you where he was on the days that you came to class alone.

You heard your name being called and reeled out of your musing.

“Sorry. I spaced out,” you said, flushing. “What did you say?”

“I said - would it be weird if I walked you to your room?”

“Of course not,” you replied, swallowing once more. You wanted to chide yourself for your lack of self-control. When it came to Taeyong, you just couldn’t say no.

Taeyong smiled. He let you inside the elevator and moved his hand out of the way so that it would finally close. You punched in your floor number and let the elevator lift you there.

He slipped his hands into his pockets. “How’s Neon?”

Neon was your pet cat. She was an adorable fat gray cat with vibrantly orange eyes. And the love of your life. After Taeyong, of course. “She’s living the life. Eating a lot, as usual. Ten’s friend Yangyang is cat-sitting her as well as Leon and Louis.”

Taeyong snickered. “Oh boy. He’s in for one hell of a ride.”

“You bet,” you chortled. “I’m expecting a call demanding we pick them up early any moment now. You know how those three get when they’re together.”

The elevator chimed and opened and Taeyong let you out. “Ladies first,” he said with a smile, all gentleman-like. “And I’m assuming they’re chaotic as ever.”

“You assume correctly,” you replied, wishing you had your phone. “Yangyang’s totally chill, though. He takes their tomfoolery in stride and even sends us pictures. They toppled over a Cheerios box and somehow Neon wore it on her head.”

“I just got a mental picture of that and it’s absolutely hilarious.”

You laughed.

Now you were thinking about who Taeyong saw when he came home. You already knew the answer, but you still asked, “I know you’ve been taking care of your grandmother, but have you not been seeing anyone since you left?”

“Nope. I never had the time or energy to invest.”

“But you have it now.”

“I guess I do,” Taeyong replied with a shrug. “But it won’t change much. It’s too late.”

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean, it’s too late?”

Rosé had told you that love had no expiration date. Now Taeyong had said he was too late. Did Taeyong love someone?

Your heart was shedding tears of blood.

Taeyong offered you a harmless smile but didn’t elaborate very much. You had already arrived at your hotel room. “I’ll tell you someday. I promise,” he swore. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Taeyong.”

Taeyong did a one-eighty and began to walk in the direction he had come. Your eyes followed him, stinging. It always hurt to watch him leave.

It hurt him to walk away. Little did you know, he had spent every day thinking about you. What could have been. When the news broke out about your relationship with Jaehyun shortly after his departure, Taeyong wanted to be happy for you, but nothing but pain and regret and longing plagued his chest.

The worst part was that he had nobody to blame but himself. He dithered too long and let another man take his place. It was unfair for him to expect you to sit around and stay. Even when he was by your side, you were still waiting for him to decide when he would be ready to let somebody inside his heart again.

Coward, Taeyong scolded himself. He wanted to love you, but he was too scared and too selfish. Every time, he chose himself over you. And now that you had chosen someone else over him too, he would have to live with that.

You both would.

You took a shower and crawled into bed. Jaehyun was beside you when you woke in the afternoon, sleeping like a rock. You took a picture for the group chat and had a good laugh while you still could, knowing he would inevitably seek vengeance. At least somebody was going to milk the absolute hell out of this vacation.

you: good morning

haechan: it’s 2pm

you: not for this guy

you: [one attachment]

ten: oh you are so, so wrong

jennie: sleeping beauty?

johnny: that’s the beast

mark: lmfaoooo

lisa laughed at “that’s the beast”

rosé: wipe the corners of his mouth plz

taeyong: he’s gonna be so mad when he sees this

you: teehee

you: beach day?

“Sleep with one eye open,” Jaehyun warned lightheartedly when you both arrived back at the beach.

You giggled. No matter what age, you and your friends would always love a great prank. The war was officially on.

Looking around for the others, your eyes fell on Taeyong. And Lord have mercy, he was mouthwatering. Had he found the time to work out? Light sheened his sun-kissed skin, dancing on his abs and shoulders. It was no wonder why you started sleeping with this man.

You saw another woman approach him and immediately frowned. As expected, it was no other than Jennie. Let there be no misunderstanding, neither of you had any bad blood or ill feeling. You simply had a lot of common interests.

And the greatest common denominator was Taeyong.

Your heart sprained in your chest viciously, taut with envy. A girl as beautiful as Jennie got everything and everyone she ever wanted. She always did. Except for Taeyong. But maybe now he would fall for her charms.

His words rang in your head. It’s too late. You didn’t know what he meant by that and it was killing you.

Taeyong glanced in your direction and your gaze instantly shifted elsewhere. You could not do this for another six days.

Time passed in a blur. You had fun and pushed him into the back of your head. Mark, Haechan and Johnny decided it would be fun to spray you and Jaehyun with water guns, which culminated in one huge water gun battle.

By the end of it, you were drenched. You draped yourself in a towel whilst the gang slowly disintegrated until only you and Taeyong remained.

Dammit, you hissed when you noticed him approaching you. Where the hell did everybody go?

From the staid look on his face, you had a feeling you would not be fond of whatever he was preparing to say. “We need to talk,” Taeyong said, humorless and stony-faced.

Your eyes flickered. “Now?”

“How much longer do you want to pretend that everything is peachy between us?” Taeyong asked you unsparingly. Which made you flinch. You weren’t used to him being so stern. “I keep seeing you look at me, and I know you see me looking at you. Why are we holding back?”

Because all I know how to do is pretend, you thought somberly. But even you got tired of playing make-believe.

Taeyong softened and asked, “Walk the shore with me?”

Finding no protest, you agreed. There was a chance this would abate your misery. Or intensify it. There was no in between.

You abandoned your towel at one of the beach chairs and began to walk side by side with Taeyong. For a while, it was quiet. The silence only pervaded your chest with dread.

Little did you know, Taeyong was at war with himself. His heart was on one side, but his mind was on the other, and he teetered between them both with every passing second. He opened his mouth to ask, “Do you remember what happened before I left?”

It was impossible to forget. Before he left, before he got the call. You broke things off, explaining that you didn’t want to sleep with him anymore. Taeyong panicked. He wondered what he had done wrong. But it wasn’t his fault - it was yours.

You winced your eyes shut. Everything had been too deep, too intimate, and you hadn’t known how to handle yourself. Every time you were with him, you were on the verge of doing or saying something you would regret.

Things became a little strained, and for the first time, awkward. You had no time to fix it before he was taking the next flight to Seoul.

You eventually got over it by simply never addressing what went wrong. But there was a sneaking question still gnawing at his heart.

You heaved a sigh. “We already resolved this, Taeyong.”

“No, we didn’t. We ignored the problem. As usual,” Taeyong corrected. You bit your lip, but didn’t argue. No argument could be made. “You never told me why.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know that,” Taeyong replied, brusque. “But that’s not an answer.”

You fought a nervous laugh. How were you supposed to explain that the reason you stopped sleeping with him was because it made you fall for him even more?

Taeyong pressed, “Was it because you had feelings for Jaehyun?”

You blinked. He was so hot but so cold all at once.

It would have been the easier answer. You could have lied and easily gave him all the closure he needed then and there. “No,” you said instead, honest. “I had no romantic interest in him at the time.”

That allowed Taeyong to breathe easier, but he was still adamant. “Then, why?”

Your pulse quickened. You felt like you were being put on the spot. Every gear in your brain grinded against asphalt to a complete halt.

You contemplated straying from the truth, but you had lived a lie long enough. Taeyong would surely be able to sense you were bluffing. “Because I wanted more,” you whispered, your voice barely above the rushing shore. “And I knew that you didn’t.”

Taeyong stopped dead in his tracks, footsteps coming to an end as he riveted in place. He spluttered, “What?”

“I can’t do this,” you said, shaking your head. It was your turn to be a coward and run.

Taeyong called after you and began to pursue you, but you had an advantage. You were barefooted. It was not easy to run in the sand while wearing flip-flops.

You hid somewhere along the shore, sinking your feet into the water. Tears stung your eyes, the only reason you noticed they were trickling warmly down your cheeks. How could you love someone that didn’t love you so intensely?

It wasn’t fair. Your heart was ripped to tatters and yet he had no idea of your pain. Three years and the wound was still fresh, dampened by your salty tears. It stung like nothing else.

You remembered how it felt to be underneath Taeyong. How hard it was to look into his eyes. Nevertheless, he would demand you made eye contact with him. And you would obey, because when you were aroused, Taeyong owned every piece of you.

You feared how much control he had over you in that state. Not only your body, but your mind. You knew that whatever you said or did under his spell and in his trance went beyond conscious control but couldn’t be taken back. And whenever Taeyong strung you to climax, you wanted to profess your love for him at the very top of your lungs.

A noise sounded from behind you, and you whirled around to be met face to face with Taeyong. “I followed your footsteps,” he explained. You nodded with a sigh and turned back around. Taeyong slipped beside you and asked, “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not.”

Taeyong fought a roll of his eyes and wiped your cheeks with his thumb. “Tell me what’s wrong,” he whispered, tender. “So I can make it better.”

“You can’t make it better,” you whimpered, shutting your eyes. It’s too late. You almost said those words, but you caught yourself when you remembered where you’d heard them before.

Taeyong studied you. His eyes were warm, gentle. Why was he looking at you like that? Like you had spawned the earth with your bare hands.

“Do you…,” Taeyong hesitated, turning melancholy. “Do you still want me?”

“Taeyong…”

He coaxed, “Tell me the truth.”

“What if I do?” you snapped. “What if it’s my boyfriend’s friend that I’ve wanted this entire time? Then what?”

Taeyong enveloped your lips in a kiss and your fears promptly vanished. For a moment, you were stunned, but you kissed him back because your body had already been so accustomed to the way his lips felt on yours.

You melted into his touch. It was definitely wrong, but it felt right. Every rational thought subsided with your fear and you subconsciously strung your fingers through his hair, running on instinct. Memories worked against you. You recalled all those times you made out with your best friend, under the sun or in the moonlight or in the comfort of his bedroom.

Tasting him on your tongue, you remember exactly how much you liked kissing Taeyong. He always kissed you like there was no tomorrow, holding you tight and sucking harshly on your tongue.

Taeyong pulled away, rasping, and said, “I just kissed my friend’s girlfriend. I guess we’re both in hot water.”

Your heart exploded with a million emotions. For the love of Christ, he had just kissed you in public. Fortunately, there was nobody around when you looked. He was so stupid, but you loved his stupid little face.

“You’re crazy,” you replied, stepping away to put some distance between you both.

Taeyong snickered. “I owe it all to you.”

Fuck. What were you doing? You were a taken woman. As much as you wanted to, you didn’t feel very guilty.

You felt aroused.

It was impossible to kiss Taeyong and not become aroused all at once. For him, it was like second nature to turn you on. A nibble here and a growl there and you were sold.

Frightened by your own lack of self-restraint, you ran again. You didn’t know what all would happen if you stayed and you didn’t want to find out, either.

Instead of chasing you again, Taeyong watched you and chuckled because he knew why you were running this time, and you were a mess. What was he thinking - kissing you? He was out of his goddamn mind, but he was out of his goddamn mind in love with you.

You rushed into your hotel room and didn’t breathe until your back was squarely against the door. It was safe to say that you were positively doomed.

Traces of Jaehyun remained scattered around the room, but he was nowhere to be found. You remembered that he mentioned he would be having lunch with Johnny and Rosé.

That only allowed for more time for you to think about Taeyong. Your body burned with arousal. You were content to feel him simply because it was him, but it helped that he was good at what he did. His touch lingered on your body and you savored the taste of his tongue on yours, craving it all over again.

But you snapped out of your trance and halted. You had been so caught up in the pleasure of Taeyong kissing you that you hardly realized the weight of that action. Did that mean Taeyong wanted you, too?

And for your heart, or for your body?

Meanwhile Taeyong was still standing by the ocean, thoughts of you plaguing his mind. He wanted to kiss you again so badly. He wished you would break up with Jaehyun and realize you were meant for him.

He wasn’t scared anymore. He wasn’t the boy that ran away. It took him some time, but he knew now that he wanted you more than anything. And he was ready to risk it all to get you.

You spent the rest of the day crammed in your room, afraid you would run into Taeyong and do something stupid. Jaehyun came back eventually and fell asleep beside you. You had officially survived two of seven days, though barely. Tomorrow might have been your breaking point.

A little after two in the morning, you woke to use the bathroom. When you came back, you noticed your phone screen lit with a text message.

From Taeyong. It read, You up?

You hesitated, but ultimately typed back a response. Barely. What’s up?

The typing bubble popped up at the bottom of the screen and you watched and waited for him to type a response. Meet me in the lobby in 10?

That was dangerous. You glanced up from your phone, looking at your boyfriend. Jaehyun was dead asleep. For certain he could sleep through a natural disaster.

Give me 5, you replied. Temptation got the best of you.

Bet.

You washed your face, slipped on your shoes, then crept out the door, careful not to wake Jaehyun. You made a beeline for the elevator.

Waiting for you in the lobby stood no other than the love of your life. Literally. For as long as you could remember, you loved Taeyong.

You saw his face before you even saw his face. Those images had been bouncing around in your brain for the entire day, asserting dominance and assuring you that they were there to stay. You were perpetually doomed.

You raised your brow when you saw him, a ball of energy. Much unlike you, but seeing him gave you your second wind. “You do realize that it’s two in the morning, right?”

“Jet lag,” Taeyong explained, amused. “Miami is fourteen hours behind Seoul.”

Like you weren’t convinced, you added, “Mm-hm. And running around in the sun didn’t exhaust you for a day?”

Taeyong lifted his arms in surrender. “You caught me,” he said, before briefly changing the subject. He couldn’t sleep because every time he closed his eyes, he saw you. Thoughts of you kept him up at night more often than not. “Wanna go somewhere special?”

“Like what?” you asked curiously. Come to think of it, you had hardly left the hotel since you arrived.

Taeyong said nothing, merely smirking with mischief and leading you to the parking lot with your fingers between his.

Oh, god. Taeyong was nothing if not trouble.

A brief car ride consisting of both of you singing horribly and off-key to whatever song blared on the radio brought you to a very familiar place. One you hadn’t been to since the beginning of college.

Taeyong opened the door for you and led you to a chained fence. Obviously, you could not go through it. Meaning you would have to climb over it.

“Ladies first,” Taeyong insisted, wanting to be on this side in case you needed help climbing over.

“This is literally trespassing.”

Taeyong countered smartly, “It’s not trespassing unless you get caught.”

“If I go to jail…,” you hissed.

Taeyong didn’t flinch. “Relax. Don’t you see this pretty face? I’ve talked a lady out of giving me a speeding ticket before.”

“Aren’t you Prince Charming,” you sneered, but moved towards the fence to clamber above. You had done it a million times before. Granted, you were a reckless teenager at the time, but memory was all the skill you needed.

“Watch your step!” Taeyong called out.

You called back, “I know what I’m doing, Taeyong.”

Taeyong snickered. It took everything for you to concentrate on anything that wasn’t the sound of his laughter so that you wouldn’t trip and get a concussion.

The moment you were safely on the other end, Taeyong followed after you, skillfully climbing over the fence like he had done a number of times in the distant past.

“I still got it,” he said unabashedly once he was beside you again.

“You’re a grown adult man.”

Taeyong argued, “I’m a boy wonder.”

You shook your head. Sometimes you couldn’t believe that this was the man you loved with your whole mind, heart and soul.

Soon enough, you were at the edge of a building, sitting comfortably on the rooftop and watching the city buzz with life even at the late hour. Miami never slept. Many things changed, but that fact wasn’t one of them.

A shroud of darkness swept over the town, combated by glimmering lights in sky-scraping structures. Cars honked faintly in the distance, a sign of life. You smiled at the familiarity. Once upon a time, you and Taeyong would sneak off to this exact place, a safe haven from your crazy lives.

Though you found that any place you were together was a refuge. As long as you had each other, you were safe.

“Taeyong,” you called, cutting through the silence.

“Hm?”

“Why did you kiss me?”

Your voice dripped with emotion. He met your eyes, and they were sad. You had been asking yourself that question the entire day, but to no avail.

“Because…” Taeyong hesitated. “Because I’ve been waiting to kiss you again for the past three years.”

Your eyes flickered. You had no idea he felt that way, and you were in a bit of denial. How could he go from being scared shitless of the thought of love to being in love with you?

There was a tug at your heart, but you tried your best to ignore it. You decided to put him to the test. “Do you want back what we had?”

“No,” Taeyong replied, honest. His eyes were big and doe-like. “You were wrong earlier. I did want more. I still do.”

You swallowed harshly. He wanted more this whole time, but had been running away from you. Like you were armed and dangerous. Little did he know, his warmth and tenderness disarmed you completely. You were weak and defenseless. “I don’t want to be just sex to you,” you said, voice barely above a whisper.

But Taeyong heard you, lurching and asking, “Is that what you thought you were?”

“What else was I supposed to think?” you asked, shrugging and blinking away tears. You weren’t strong enough for this. That was why you had derailed this conversation for so long. You knew full well it would break you.

Taeyong was full of regret. “Would you believe me if I said I’ve wanted you my whole life?”

You blinked. Your heart felt so heavy in your chest. All these years of longing for Taeyong’s heart, only to find that you already had it. It was too much.

“I was just too scared. The wound was still fresh. I was in a dark place and somehow convinced myself that the whole world was against me. If I let you in, you had my heart at your disposal, and that was too much for me. The last time I let someone that close, they broke me.”

“I would never do that to you, Taeyong,” you whispered sincerely, reaching for his hand. “You have to trust me. Your heart is precious to me.”

“I just wish I would have known that before,” Taeyong blew out a sigh, wistful. “It took me almost losing my grandmother to realize that before anything else, I’m afraid of lost. I didn’t want to lose you. But then you got with Jaehyun…”

You finished, “And you felt like you’d already lost me.”

Taeyong nodded. “I was too late. That was what I meant the other day. I thought your heart already belonged to somebody else and I started to think that maybe I never really had a chance.”

The past three years had been hard on Taeyong. He tried to make sense of his life, to pull together any explanation so that he could better rationalize it, even if it wasn’t true.

He was overwhelmed. All of these emotions were resurfacing, banding together against him and slapping him across the face. It felt like being jolted awake by a bucket of cold water. Nostalgia ran its course with him, but so did regret. And the pining and love for you that made his chest swell hotly. He was angry with himself. For being such a big baby, for not noticing that you had wanted him, too.

“Taeyong…” you called out.

Taeyong shook his head and stood to his feet, pacing around the rooftop. “This is all my fault. If I would have never been such a coward, if I would have just told you how I felt from the beginning, none of this would have happened. You wouldn’t have tried to fill the void with Jaehyun.”

“You can’t keep blaming yourself for this,” you said gently, following him. “I made that decision. I didn’t know how to cope without you and so I did something really, really stupid.”

“But you wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for me,” Taeyong said, too out of it and too in his head. He was crumbling before your eyes. Torn asunder and ruptured beyond reclaim.

Frustrated, you ran a hand through your hair and called his name again. “You don’t know that. I ended our friends with benefits relationship, remember? I would have done anything to distract myself from my feelings for you.”

To no avail. Taeyong wanted to crawl back inside his shell and hide. This world was too big and he felt as if he had no place in it. Not for any good reason, at least.

What good was he? He broke your heart, because he was too scared of you breaking his.

And you wound up breaking each other.

As a last resort, you leaned on your toes and pressed your lips to his. Just like that, he was at ease again. You yelped when Taeyong hauled you into his arms and pressed you against the nearest wall, kissing you fiercely as if you’d stirred up a monster inside him. It was wide awake and ready to raise hell.

For a moment, you both forgot about the rest of the world. You forgot about Jaehyun. He forgot that you weren’t his. It was just the two of you, two true lovers making out beneath the moonlight, making up for the time you’d lost when you could have been together.

Nothing else mattered. You were content to simply be in each other’s arms.

Taeyong dug you into the wall harder, resting all of his weight on you. It felt like the wind was knocked out of you, but you could hardly breathe before then. Taeyong took your breath away and left you begging for more.

You moaned into his mouth, pleased as you threaded your fingers through his hair. Taeyong was bent on making a mess of you, reducing you to nothing but love and lust. Warmth coursed through your bodies, scorching hot flares of heat and energy.

You pulled away first this time, eager to catch your breath. And Taeyong simply stared at you like he had never seen anything or anyone more beautiful, sated.

“None of this is your fault, Taeyong,” you reassured him, your voice breathy for obvious reasons. “We’ll figure something out.”

Now, Taeyong was convinced. As long as you had him and he had you, everything would work out. Love would always find a way.

Taeyong already knew the answer, but he needed to hear you say it. Like it would quell all his worries once and for all. “Do you love him?”

“I love Jay,” you replied solemnly. “But I’m in love with you.”

That was all Taeyong needed to hear before he was sweeping you into his arms again, smashing his lips to yours.

You continued to make noises, little groans and growls on his end and a plethora of tiny smothered moans on yours. And god, were they hot as hell. They brought back memories of when you two would fuck until you had depleted every last bit of your stamina.

It got to the point where Taeyong had to pull away from you, half-hard and afraid of getting too turned on. When you two were together - and alone - it was very, very dangerous.

“Mm, we can’t,” Taeyong hummed, calling time-out. “I’m definitely a piece of shit, but I’m not that much of a piece of shit.”

You sighed. He was right. This was going too far too fast. You needed to breathe and slow down.

Easier said than done. You obviously couldn’t control yourselves around each other.

“Let’s regroup tomorrow,” you suggested. “Today technically, but you know what I mean.”

Taeyong snickered. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

The two of you ditched the rooftop and climbed back over the fence, though in no particular rush to get back to his car. You wanted to stay. You wanted to spend every moment of your life with Taeyong, but things were, needless to say, complicated. Life simply didn’t work in your favor.

Much to your dismay, Jaehyun was wide awake when you came back to your joint room. You felt like a deer caught in headlights when you met his perturbed eyes.

“Where have you been?” Jaehyun asked. There was no hostility in his voice; only consternation.

You felt no need to lie. Jaehyun may have been your boyfriend, but he was also your friend. No matter what it came down to, you would never betray his trust by lying to his face. “I was with Taeyong.”

Jaehyun cocked a brow. “At four in the morning?”

You blinked. You hadn’t realized that it had been that long.

Jaehyun added, “You didn’t pick up your phone. I was worried.”

“I haven't checked it. I’m sorry for worrying you,” you said, approaching him and wrapping your arms around his neck. He was sitting at the edge of the bed. “I didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful.”

“It’s okay,” Jaehyun murmured, voice half-muffled into the crook of your neck. “Just don’t do it again.”

You chuckled, but for the first time, you felt ashamed. Jaehyun didn’t deserve you. He deserved better. A tear nearly slipped down your cheek, but you fought it back with everything you had. You had no right to cry.

Never did you want to love Taeyong. Love was not a choice. If you could have taken your heart back from his clutches, you would have. But your heart was under tyranny. Love was too powerful. Every beat was for him and him alone.

Anger presented itself as spasms of heat in your chest, completely directed at yourself. Why couldn’t you love Jaehyun? That would have made everything a hell of a lot easier. He had never wronged you as your friend or as your boyfriend. He took you on romantic dates and he sang to you to cheer you up after a long day and he was always there to show you love.

Jaehyun is a great guy, you thought. But he’s not the guy for me.

You knew what you needed to do. Jaehyun might have resented you for ruining what was seemingly a perfectly healthy and happy relationship, especially with no warning, but you couldn’t keep his heart chained away any longer. Somewhere in this world, you knew there was a girl for him that could love him in all the ways you couldn’t.

As you drifted back to sleep that night, there was a weight on your chest. Before this trip was over, you needed to find the strength to break Jaehyun’s heart.

Little did you know, Jaehyun sat thoughtfully awake as you slept beside him, already aware that this relationship was bound to end for some time.

The third day was eventful and a breath of fresh air. You had girl time with the ladies and left the guys to fend for themselves.

You pressed a kiss to the corner of Jaehyun’s lips then looked amongst the string of guys beside him and said, “Be good. Don’t blow anything up.”

The guys laughed. Most of them.

Ten winked and said, “No promises.” He, Mark, Haechan, and Johnny looked full of mischief.

When your eyes met Taeyong’s, he was watching you. You stepped away from Jaehyun and cleared your throat.

“Have a good time,” Jaehyun told you.

You forced a smile. “You, too.”

It was a relief when you managed to escape. For the entire day, you were for once able to shake the thoughts of Taeyong and the rack and ruin of your relationship with Jaehyun.

A spa day with the girls was exactly what you needed to palliate your sadness. And a fun couple of hours of spending way too much money at the shopping center. You wore a constant smile on your face. It reminded you of old times. It would be a while before all of you could gather together like this again, and you wanted to make every minute count.

No boy business. Although, you were very intrigued about their love lives. Grown women had crushes, too.

Eventually, you all went for dinner and drinks at a nice pub, laughing over a meal and reminiscing fondly.

“I need to slow down,” you said, shaking your head once you caught notice of how many drinks you’d chugged.

Lisa snickered. “Yeah, you do. Just in case you accidentally trip into a chocolate fountain again.”

Rosé and Jennie laughed.

You rolled your eyes. “I was nineteen and blackout drunk. Give me some credit.”

You were the laughing stock of the group, but only for a couple of days, because everyone moved on when Mark did something three times more funny and embarrassing. That was how the cycle went in your group.

That night wasn’t all that bad. Taeyong had a laugh at your expense for sure, but he helped you clean yourself up. And when he thought nobody was looking, kissed some of the chocolate off of the corner of your lips.

Don’t you dare go there. You aren’t supposed to be thinking about Taeyong, you scolded yourself.

“Remember that time we caught you and Taeyong practically fucking in the pool?” Rosé asked, heavily amused by the memory.

You flushed. And wanted to sink into the ground. Ever since you started hooking up, it had been hard for you and Taeyong to keep it in your pants around each other. Especially when alcohol was involved.

Lisa grimaced in disgust. “Ugh. I wanted to gouge my eyes out.”

“And they had the audacity to think nobody knew they were hooking up,” Jennie said, shaking your head. “Speaking of which - how was it?”

“I have a boyfriend. I am not going to think about another man’s penis,” you retorted, but it was too late for you. You were thinking about another man’s penis. And god, Taeyong always felt nice and snug inside you.

Not to mention, he was skilled with more than just his dick. The amount of times he had made you cum with his mouth or on his fingers was ungodly.

Jennie begged, “Please? I’ve wanted to jump his bones my whole life.”

Lisa laughed in surprise. “Jesus.”

“Fine,” you grumbled, displeased. “He’s good. To say the least.”

Jennie was unimpressed. “Well, duh. You kept coming back to him for some reason.”

The girls chortled.

She continued, “How big is it? Does it have a little curve? Does it lean or does it hang? Is it trimmed?”

You waved your hand for a waiter. “Check, please!”

Way too drunk, the four of you called an Uber. On the way home, Lisa started talking about a girl she’d met at the beach that was totally trying to get in her pants. Lisa, ever a tease, was delaying the inevitable.

You all laughed and prayed for that poor girl. She was in for a ride. Though Lisa definitely wanted her back, that much was clear. Otherwise she would have never spared her a second of time.

Jaehyun was in the room when you got there, evidently no less drunk than you. And when Jaehyun was drunk, he got touchy. He pulled you into his lap, and you wondered exactly what all those six had done. Jaehyun very rarely made moves on you.

To be frank, you never minded having sex with Jaehyun. It was unforced. You saw him as everything Taeyong should have been to you, but wasn’t. For some reason, things never worked that way. Your feelings and sex were too completely different aspects, but this and your relationship with Taeyong could never have that in common.

Exhausted, you decided not to have sex with him and he didn’t push, but you instead foolishly opened a bottle of wine he’d brought along and chatted incessantly, recounting the days events.

Your heart was sad. When you broke up with him - and you would - you hoped it wouldn’t tarnish the beautiful friendship you had.

It was late when you both finally decided to call it a night. A couple of unread messages sat untouched on your phone screen, but you noticed Taeyong’s first. From two hours ago.

I miss you.

Your heart fluttered. Taeyong was thinking about you.

Guilt made its way into your chest. You felt bad for responding so late. Aside from your little rooftop encounter, you had barely spoken to Taeyong at all today.

Sorry. I’m with Jay. He wants to spend the night with me, you replied. That was very true. Jaehyun had no intention of leaving this room until tomorrow and he didn’t want to be alone. It was a bonus that he enjoyed your company.

The ‘delivered’ noticon changed to ‘read’ almost instantly, like Taeyong had been waiting by his phone. It’s fine. See you tomorrow.

You frowned. You could feel his pain through the phone. It wasn’t your intention to blow him off, but your hands were tied. And every time you were with Taeyong, you felt more and more ashamed of yourself.

Not to mention, you were drunk out of your mind. You didn’t trust yourself to be around Taeyong, but you especially didn’t trust your intoxicated self.

Goodnight, Taeyong.

Taeyong flopped backwards on his bed and sighed. All he wanted was you, but you weren’t his. And a part of him feared that you never would be.

Jaehyun hadn’t been subtle earlier this evening. He left with every intention of getting some, a testament to his insobriety. Taeyong wondered if he was touching you in all the places he once did, if you’d given Jaehyun your body like you had given it to him.

He couldn’t stomach it. The thought of you below another man, calling Jaehyun’s name. Fuck, could he even please you the way Taeyong could? Did he know your body the way Taeyong did?

Maybe he truly was replaceable. You made him doubt whether he had ever been good enough for you. What if you decided last-minute that you didn’t want him - that you didn’t love him?

I’m in love with you. That was what you said, but did you mean it? Did you really love him?

A girl had lied to him in the past. He was backstabbed and betrayed. But you weren’t her and she wasn’t you. Taeyong had faith that something more could blossom between the two of you, beyond the skin of friendship.

Taeyong tossed and turned and struggled to fall asleep, staving off his demons. Meanwhile, you were in Jaehyun’s arms, safe and sound.

Taeyong saw you the next day and the day after that, but you barely spoke. A word was exchanged here and there, but you made no move to engage in conversation with him and he found it difficult to steal you away.

His fear was unabating. Had he said something wrong? A day or two ago, you had been seemingly fine. And now it felt more like you were avoiding him.

To make matters worse, he was forced to watch you smile and laugh with Jaehyun. The two of you obviously hadn’t broken up yet. He thought you would have before the trip was over, and there were merely two days left.

A bitter feeling scorched in Taeyong’s chest.

Meanwhile, beneath the facade of a radiant girl in a happy relationship, you were shattering. Time was running out. It felt like the walls were slowly but steadily closing in on you.

You knew you needed to do something, but you had no strength. You were terrified of how Jaehyun would respond. Would he be understanding? Would he resent you for breaking his heart on such short notice and getting with Taeyong even sooner?

Guilt was crippling. You hadn’t felt it before, but it was merciless to you now. Everything was so heat of the moment with Taeyong and a test of your self-control.

A knock from the door made both you and Jaehyun pause your conversation. No one announced themselves, thus you figured it wasn’t the hotel staff. And it was well past midnight.

Jaehyun went to open the door and you followed suit. And your heart promptly sank when you realized who was there.

“Hey,” Taeyong said stiffly, hands in his pockets. He nodded his head in your direction. “I know it’s late, but can I talk to you?”

“Yeah. Sure,” you replied, sliding on your shoes. You were not eager, but you needed to get him away from Jaehyun. Your heart was being rapidly in your chest, twisting with fear.

Taeyong knew it was a foolish idea to show up unannounced, in the middle of the night no less, but his restraint had depleted. He was worn and battered. And he needed his best friend.

You gave Jaehyun a reassuring smile and said, “I’ll be back, babe. Don’t wait up.”

Jaehyun was unperturbed and gave you a little nod, smiling back. “Keep her safe,” he told Taeyong.

Your fragile heart broke. Why did love have to be so complicated?

As soon as Jaehyun was out of earshot, you whispered to Taeyong, “Are you out of your goddamn mind?”

“Yes,” was Taeyong’s wry response.

His lack of somberness made you bristle. “We have to be subtle. You looked mighty suspicious popping up after midnight. Jaehyun is…”

Taeyong interjected bleakly, all of the humor in his tone absent, “You haven’t told him yet.”

You stepped inside his hotel room and blinked. “No. I haven’t.”

Taeyong shut the door behind himself then flopped on his bed with a sigh, patting the spot next to him. You were reluctant, but ultimately took a seat. A storm of emotion raised hell inside your chest. How could he have been so close to you, but so far away?

You looked into his eyes and knew something - if not everything - was wrong. Taeyong wore his heart on his sleeve. He was sensitive and tender. His vulnerability was a blessing and a curse, something he'd come to hate and you'd come to adore.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” you sang, rubbing his arm. “I can’t read your mind, Taeyong. You have to let me in.”

Taeyong decided to be frank. “Have you been avoiding me?”

Your eyes flickered, and you responded by instinct, “I was trying to balance my time. I didn’t want him to become suspicious.”

“That called for a ‘yes’ or a ‘no.’”

You heaved a breath. “Yes, I have been avoiding you.”

Taeyong said nothing. As much as it pained him, he understood. He knew what it was like to be in a relationship with someone, but long for somebody else.

Though that never eased the sting of betrayal. It wounded him like nothing else. It was a scar he would carry for the rest of his life.

“I want you,” Taeyong whispered. Even in the dark room, you could see how his eyes glimmered with sadness. “Every moment I’m away from you, I only want you even more.”

You exhaled, “Taeyong…”

“I’m not finished,” Taeyong said brusquely. “Even when I was with her, I was thinking about you. I was thinking, ‘is this really how love is supposed to be?’ And I wondered if it would be different with you.”

You just listened to the sound of your heart swelling with every passing word.

“I think part of me knew it would be. Because you had already loved me better without being in a relationship with me.”

“I…,” you searched tirelessly for words, but came short of them. “I don’t know what to say.”

Taeyong was swift. “Say you love me.”

“I love you,” you told him sincerely. You lied next to him and made him look you in the eyes. “You know, I tried to move on. That’s why I got with Jaehyun. I thought that with you on the other side of the world, and another man on my hands, I would forget how it felt to love you. But I never did.”

Taeyong leaned in to kiss you, and as much as you wanted to, you couldn’t let him. You jerked away and stood to your feet.

You shook your head, tears threatening to break through the dam. “I can’t do this.”

Taeyong rose after you. “Why can’t you?”

“Because I’m not yours!” you whisper-yelled, trying to be mindful of his most likely resting neighbors. “And you’re not mine!”

“Just let him down gently,” Taeyong sighed.

You bristled. “Do you really think it’s that easy?”

“If you love me, then yes.”

That shredded your heart and filled you with ire altogether, but because you didn’t want to fight, you turned around and chose flight.

Taeyong - hot on your heels - chose to fight. He wanted to fight for you and everything you had together. He incredulously trailed behind you, wanting to put the pieces together again instead of leaving them damaged and broken.

“Where are you going?” he called from behind you, speeding up his pace to match yours.

You continued to stomp away lividly, not turning sparing him a glance. “Away from you,” you replied coldly.

“No, you're not,” Taeyong growled, grabbing your arm and forcing you to look at him. He was fuming, eyes narrowed and his aura the most vicious you'd ever seen. “You can’t run away. You can’t hide from me.”

That was rich. You chuckled sourly. “Oh, but you can?”

“No,” Taeyong snapped harshly. His grip on your arm was firm, but cautious. “Neither of us. If this is going to work, if we’re going to be together, then we need to learn how to face confrontation.”

Breaking loose from his grasp, you shouted, “I wish I didn’t love you!”

Taeyong riveted in place. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” you said ruthlessly, trying to prevent your voice from cracking. “Do you think I’ve been miserable for the past three years out of choice? If I could stop loving you, I fucking would!”

“Baby, calm down,” Taeyong whispered, trying to placate you. His eyes scanned the area for onlookers, and though there weren’t many at this hour, there were quite a few.

You didn’t listen, taking steps further away with every step he took closer to you. This was mentally - and emotionally - wearing you down. “Don’t you feel anything? Even a goddamn ounce of guilt?”

“So then, break up!”

Shaking your head, you bitterly accepted that he would never understand. And you made a beeline for one of the doors on his floor, well aware of who was on the other side.

You pounded on the door relentlessly. “Come on, come on,” you chanted to yourself. Any second now, Taeyong would catch up to you. You wished he would leave you alone. You wanted him to get out of your head. You hated that you needed him even though you didn’t want to.

Rosé opened the door with a bemused expression on her face.

You begged her, “Please, let me in and lock the door.”

Rosé didn’t hesitate to sweep you inside, locking the door behind you. She glimpsed outside the blinds, trying to find what in the hell had you so distressed. “What the hell happened?”

“You were right,” you said, collapsing in a mess on the floor. You were giving away, coming apart at the seams. “I loved Taeyong. I still do.”

Rosé was tempted to make a snarky remark about how she already knew, but she understood that wasn’t what you needed. She held her arms wide open for you to crawl into.

You sobbed on her shoulder. You cried until you had no more tears left. Surprisingly, she never judged you. Your friend simply held you in her embrace and gave you a reassuring pat on the back, singing her consoles softly.

You were so overwhelmed. You had no strength against your emotions. They got the best of and vanquished you.

I hate Taeyong, you thought bitterly. No you don’t. You hate the way he makes you feel. You hate that you can’t undo everything you’ve said and done to each other. You hate that no matter what happens, you’ll always love him.

It seemed so simple. If you broke up with Jaehyun, you could finally have the man of your dreams, but at what cost? Being the object of Jaehyun’s acrimony? Your peace of mind?

No matter what option you choose, your heart was at stake.

A little refreshed, you eventually pulled away from Rosé. Though she had no issue with being there for you, she was still curious. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

You explained everything. How you fell in love with Taeyong a long, long time ago. How you gave away your heart in exchange for sex with him. How you tried to get over him by getting under Jaehyun. How none of it worked, and you came to discover Taeyong had feelings for you, too.

These were secrets you'd kept buried under the surface for years now, and to your surprise, you felt relieved of the burden once they were all out there.

“I’ve spent an eternity pretending. I’m exhausted, Rosie,” you confessed.

Rosé bobbed her head understandingly. “What’s stopping you from breaking up with Jaehyun?”

“It’s not that I want to keep his heart locked away. He deserves someone better than me,” you began, staring at the floor. “I just don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to get with Taeyong and make Jaehyun feel like he never meant anything to me. But I guess I’m just delaying the inevitable.”

Rosé chuckled lightly. “You are. It’s selfish to wait when he could already be trying to move on and find the girl meant for him. And who knows - maybe he already knows this moment is coming sooner or later.”

You blinked. “I guess that’s true.”

“You already told me yourself that you’re tired of pretending. Why pretend, then? What if he’s pretending as well? As long as you’re living a lie, you’ll never move on or know peace.”

You frowned.

“Look. I understand why you’re doing this,” Rosé started, reaching for your hand. “But that doesn’t make it right or healthy. You have to set Jaehyun free.”

Your eyes burned with tears again. “What if he hates me?”

“He won’t,” Rosé told you sternly, as if she knew it for a fact. “Jaehyun is your friend before anything. I think you’d have to slap his mother for him to hate you.”

You chuckled. Jaehyun was a Mama’s boy.

“Do the right thing,” she told you.

“I will,” you sighed. “But can I stay here for the night?”

Rosé nudged you. “Of course. But don’t avoid Taeyong for too long. You need to apologize for what you said.”

You nodded. Tomorrow you would make everything right. You owed it to everyone around you.

Literally. You and Taeyong made quite the commotion earlier. It seemed that raising hell was one of your strengths.

In the morning, you arranged a spot for you and Jaehyun to meet and gave him a call. Last night you texted him last-minute to notify him that you’d be spending the night with Rosé.

It didn’t take a genius to put together what you had in mind, and you didn’t know whether that was a negative or positive thing.

Waiting for Jaehyun made you dangerously antsy. You silently hoped the ocean would sweep you under and swallow you whole, never to be seen again. Last night had given you the final push to do what was necessary, but that made it no simpler a task. You were a bundle of nerves, sweat beading at your forehead.

Thank God, you thought when you saw Jaehyun finally turning the corner. Any longer and you would faint.

“Good morning,” Jaehyun greeted, casting you a curious look.

“Good morning. Your favorite,” you said, handing him a cup of coffee made exactly the way he liked it.

Jaehyun grabbed the cup graciously. “Thank you. You said there’s something you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Um, yeah,” you said, rubbing your neck. “You might want to sit down.”

Jaehyun looked and sounded completely indifferent when he said, “You’re breaking up with me.”

Your eyes flickered with surprise, but you stammered, “Yeah, I… I am. Listen, Jaehyun. You’re a great guy, but I’d be lying if I said my heart wasn’t in a different place.”

“I know.”

“And I know this is sudden, but…,” you trailed off, processing what he had said. “You know?”

It alarmed you that Jaehyun was completely chill. You half expected him to snap at any given moment. “You have always felt more like a friend to me than a girlfriend. I have known for some time that there was something missing in our relationship. It’s not hard to tell that we’re both thinking about different people when we make love to each other.”

Now you were completely confused. “Both?”

Perfectly on cue, no other than Rosé waltzed up to you, smiling innocently. Your jaw nearly hit the floor as you put the pieces together.

All of the signs had been there. In hindsight, given the amount of time the pair spent together, neither of them were exactly subtle. But you were too engrossed in your Taeyong fiasco to notice what was happening squarely under your nose.

You scrambled for words. “You…”

Rosé smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, hon. Don’t be too mad. We did nothing you and Taeyong already haven’t.”

It ended up being you that needed to sit down. You shook your head, in disbelief. You weren’t hurt, but you were in shock. “How?”

“Well, like I said, I already knew something was missing in our relationship. A couple years ago, I started talking to Rosé. We agreed not to let things get too serious until you and I broke up,” Jaehyun explained.

No wonder Rosé had been trying to pry you off of Jaehyun and into Taeyong’s arms. She wanted him for herself. Everything she told you last night was because she already knew that Jaehyun had found another girl and was expecting your relationship to fall apart any moment now.

Love has no expiration date. Some people spend their whole lives hopelessly in love with the same person. Had she been talking about herself?

Figuring you had nothing to add, Jaehyun diplomatically added, “I don’t want this to put a dent in either of our friendships.”

You peered up at him, brow cocked. “Are you kidding? I shouldn’t be this happy that my boyfriend has been talking to my friend behind my back but I am. I was afraid you were going to despise me indefinitely.”

“You aren’t exactly a saint either,” Rosé said lightheartedly.

“I know,” you sighed, then turned back to Jaehyun. “I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun was unbothered and gave you a playful nudge. “Let’s call it even.”

You smiled. With that burden out of the way, you could breathe a little easier. But your eyes grew wide as you remembered you had one more person you needed to talk to.

“Do either of you know where Taeyong is?”

“He’s where you would find any other crabby Cancer,” Rosé replied, totally amused.

You bid Rosé and Jaehyun goodbye and made a beeline for the beach.

Spotting Taeyong took no time at all. He stood at the shore with his feet smothered in the sand. His body faced the ocean, but you could recognize that back anywhere. Your fingernails had become very familiar with it as well.

Abandoning your shoes by a beach chair, you began to chase after him, bare feet roaming hot sand. “Taeyong!”

Taeyong knew the sound of your voice and warmth spread through his chest when he heard it. He turned around, met with the sight of you looking ready to pounce on him.

“Walk the shore with me?” you asked, chest heaving for breath.

His voice was small. “Sure.”

The two of you walked in deafening silence. You nervously wracked your brain, searching for the right words to say. They never came. Your mouth had so much to say last night and now you were running on empty.

Deciding to go with the flow, you inhaled and exhaled. “I broke up with Jaehyun.”

Taeyong stiffened. “How did it go?”

“Very amicably,” you replied, recalling the unbelievable scenario that had taken place merely moments ago. “Apparently, he and Rosé have been talking.”

Seeing as Taeyong had no comment, silence fell over you both again.

“I owe you an apology,” you added a couple moments later.

Taeyong folded his arms over his chest. “I’m waiting.”

Your breath got shaky. “I’m sorry for what I said last night. It was cruel and you didn’t deserve any of that. I love you, Taeyong. That’s all I want to do. And if there’s anything I can do to make it better, let me know.”

“Be mine.”

You slipped your finger through his. “I am yours. Every part of me. My heart beats for you, Taeyong.”

Taeyong couldn’t control himself for another second and leaned over to kiss you. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, in front of the whole world, where almost anyone and everyone could see you. Not that either of you seemed to care. You wanted the entire universe to know that you belonged to each other.

Noting that you weren't trying to shy away, Taeyong kissed you even harder. You moaned into his mouth, a noise that drove him positively insane.

Your now-boyfriend was high on the realization that he could now kiss you whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted. You were his, and he would make sure no one ever forgot. It caught you completely off guard when Taeyong attached his lips to your neck, and you sucked in a gasp, numb as his tongue warmed your weak spot.

Taeyong smirked. He still remembered where it was. You used to go through hell and back to cover the marks he left on your neck and collarbone, though now you had nothing to hide.

Before it got too far, you pulled away and said, “Mm, let’s not get banned from the resort. Can I come to your room tonight?”

Taeyong knew what that meant. “You know the way.”

For the rest of the day, you had an indestructible smile on your face. You had made out with Taeyong for all to see before noon, no less - and it was incredible.

And when night fell, surely enough, you were at his door.

Taeyong wasted no time in sweeping you inside, shutting the door and pressing your back into the surface. You gasped, and had a split second to react before he smashed his lips against yours. You combed your fingers through his hair, closing your eyes and letting love and lust aid you.

Your body burned with want. Never had you needed anything so desperately. You wanted Taeyong and you wanted him now.

“Fuck,” you moaned when Taeyong raked his teeth over your neck. “Fuck me.”

You both raced to the bed, shredding each other of your clothes messily. They were a mess in his room when you were finished, not even in a heap on the floor, but carelessly tossed and scattered across his room to never be seen again. The air was chill, but it was a perfect contrast to your bodies, scorching with arousal.

Wanting to see your face while he was inside you, Taeyong made you lay on your back before he fucked you.

Taeyong cursed himself when he realized he had no condoms. Needless to say, he wasn’t expecting at all to fuck his best friend turned girlfriend.

“You don’t need a condom, baby. Just fuck me,” you purred, spreading your legs as if to entice him further.

Your boyfriend was half a second away from becoming a ferocious animal. The mere thought of fucking you full of his cum again was enough to deplete his sanity. “Did you let Jay fuck you raw?” he growled, needing to know.

You shook your head. “Never. Only you.”

Satisfied, Taeyong inched between your parted legs, mouth watering at how eager you were for him and the sight of your wet cunt on display for his eyes alone. He wanted to destroy you, but that was if you didn’t leave him in ruins first.

Taeyong glided his cock to and fro on your folds, coating himself in your arousal. Your teeth clamped onto your bottom lip every time he brushed your clit, sensitive and tender, and at one point you determined the teasing had to be deliberate.

You sucked in a gasp when he finally began to push inside, teeth clamping harder. Any moment now, they would be damp with blood. Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull as soon as you were filled to the core, every inch of him swallowed by your non-loosening cunt. The grip was deathly, as if you refused to let him go. It tore a mean growl out of him that only made you clamp around him even tighter.

Taeyong set a hurried rhythm that made the bed tremble with his movements. He wanted to be slow, wanted to draw it out, but the way you gripped him so warmly and tight said otherwise. His body was on autopilot, driven by impulse and desire.

Every time he thrusted in, you whimpered. You had been counting down the hours until you could finally have him, scrambling for distraction after distraction, and it was so worth it.

“God,” you whimpered, standing at the threshold of insanity.

Taeyong was right behind you. Wherever you went, he was hot on your heels. Under your spell, he would follow you into a ring of fire.

Metaphorically speaking, he was already balls deep inside one.

Heat split you right down the middle. Nothing less than earth-shattering. It was a prominent fact that Taeyong had enjoyed both inflicting and watching you come apart under his heel. You were stranded at the very eye of a pleasure-induced vortex, with no top and no bottom. No start and no finish.

Just never-ending pleasure.

“I missed this,” Taeyong growled, making your breath crawl in your throat. “I missed you.”

You searched tirelessly for the strength to speak. “Me, too,” you croaked.

A sigh of pleasure parted your lips as Taeyong continued to rock inside you. You were in disbelief that you could have ever given this up - given him up. Surely, you had to have been out of your mind.

Taeyong knew your body like nobody else. Every scar, every strength, every weakness - the knowledge lay awake in the palms of his hands. You had been ignorant of how intimate it was until you fell for him, and now it was unignorable. The depths of the power he had over you.

Little did you know, you had the same power over him. His fate lied in your hands. He was vulnerable to you in ways the rest of the world would never see.

In the same way that he owned you, you owned him.

“God, you’re amazing,” Taeyong moaned, every piece of his self-control floating in the ocean somewhere. As was yours.

Tears of pleasure welled in your eyes. You were being reduced to tears. To be under Taeyong again, it felt natural and whole. Like this was how it was meant to be.

Your noises were spiraling out of control. Taeyong made it all too easy to forget that other people existed in this great, huge world. In your mind, it was only you and him.

Taeyong clamped a palm over your mouth and shushed you. “Quiet, baby. You’ll make somebody mad.”

He was making you mad.

You clenched the sheets in your fists to anchor yourself, but even the bed was giving way to his lack of mercy. Your sounds were smothered by his palm, but you were crying out his name and he could tell.

Taeyong proudly watched the sight of you convulsing beneath him, breasts bouncing and your skin beading with glimmering sweat. In the same vein, sweat gathered at his forehead and his chest heaved. You were making a mess of the sheets - making a mess of each other.

“I’m gonna cum,” you warned, pulse speeding as you neared release.

However close you were, Taeyong was likely even closer, and he stuffed a hand between your warm legs, toying with your clit. Your response was instant, legs instinctively trying to close, but Taeyong moved his hand that was clamped over your mouth and gripped your thighs tightly. You watched his biceps seal your movement, taut with muscle.

You could merely squirm, unable to remain still. Taeyong knew exactly which buttons to mash. You were going to fall apart in record time.

“Let go with me,” Taeyong pleaded, endeavoring to coax you into an orgasm. “Please, baby.”

You were so lost, so tangled in his web. Like a fly to a spider. You knew you were doomed then, but you had no room to desire actual release; only the kind that set your soul free.

And a billion emotions with it.

Your bodies moved in league with one another, you arching into him. You were nothing short of restless. Orgasm was calling your name in a chant, sweet and honey-like. It was impossible to ignore what your entire body yearned for.

You surrendered, shuddering with climax. Taeyong had to lock his palm over your mouth again, smothering the scream you made as orgasm reduced you to only ecstasy. Your eyes closed as your lips tore open, your heart thumping mightily in your chest. You were scorching all over, skin on fire.

Taeyong came not a moment later, cock twitching with climax. His teeth clamped into his bottom lip, and the growl that slipped between made you feel as if you could cum again on command. He anchored himself with his hands on your waist as his orgasm tore something absolutely inhuman out of him.

The feeling of his cum stuffing you full made you moan. It made you feel whole and complete. You were limp against the mattress, lips parted in shallow breaths as you tried desperately to catch your breath. Taeyong slackened, collapsing at your side once sated. Meanwhile, you fought a smile as you felt his release trickling warmly down your legs and thighs.

Taeyong’s first instinct was to check up on you, eyes big and starry as he asked, “Are you okay?“

You sighed, “Dunno. I think you broke me.”

His face tensed with concern and you busted into laughter.

“I’m kidding,” you said, pressing a brief but reassuring kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I’m all good, baby.”

Taeyong smiled softly. A moment of silence passed, but it was pleasant. You listened to the sounds of each other’s breath, comforted because it was proof that you were there. Neither of you wanted to move or leave, content to merely be in the presence of one another.

Taeyong had you and you had Taeyong. That was all you needed.

“Tell me you’ll stay,” Taeyong said, breaking the silence first.

“I’ll stay.”

Like he was unsatisfied, Taeyong added, “Tell me you’ll never leave.”

“I’ll never, ever leave you. You have my word on that,” you promised solemnly. “I don’t want to pretend anymore, Taeyong. I love you.”

Taeyong’s heart pounded with both awe and ache. His fingers laced through yours and squeezed comfortably. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I promise.”

You both lay comfortably in each other’s embrace, your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat spelling your name.

The morning you all had to check out of the hotel, you leaned your back against your car, facing the resort fondly. It had been one hell of a week here, but you were appreciative.

As always, Taeyong was right at your side.

“What have we both learned from this trip?”

“We both run from our issues like cowards,” Taeyong drawled, a wry smile on his face.

“Mm. How compatible are we,” you deadpanned.

Taeyong stole a quick kiss and snickered. “Very.”

Yesterday you announced to your mutual group of friends that you were dating, as well as the fact that Rosé and Jaehyun were dating now. Which - as expected - garnered a handful of mixed responses. It would definitely take some time to get used to.

Not like you cared. For once you were contentedly in love. No more dwelling on the days of the past, wondering what could have and should have been if you would have done this or that.

Taeyong seemed to have the same idea. His heartache finally subsided after years. It was him that had left, but you were the one that got away.

“I love you,” you whispered, wrapping your arms around his body and resting your head on his chest. “I need you to know that.”

Taeyong was beaming. Never had he been more in love. You were his first, his last, and his everything in between.

“I know,” Taeyong replied. His heart was at ease at last. “I will never forget it, baby.”

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