#birdy collects nerdy things

[jedi-bird]

There's a store in a mall we go to sometimes that sells blind box figures and kid be would have been obsessed with it. Adult me is currently obsessed with it but usually tries not to buy much. Except today. I took a chance because I loved all the display figures and got my favorites.

[dandelionflower]

She hikes alone

Marinette skipped to her friends, tapping Adrien on the shoulder before hugging him tight.

“Hey, Princess,” he gave her a smile that melted her heart, “we were just talking about things we could do on our free day.”

He gestured to the class, who were all deep in a debate over ice cream place or pizza parlor.

“I was thinking we could go to a park; a new friend of mine has a couple of places we could check out. I think it would be really good as a lazy activity to get rid of jet lag, or in Kim’s case, excess energy.”

“Sounds really nice!” He smiled and began to open his mouth to tell them; he had become Marinette’s representative to the class, when Lila stood up.

“Hey guys! What if, since today doesn’t have anything planned, we went to a park and hung out?”

“That’s a genius idea, Lila!”

“I could play frisbee!”

“I’d enjoy observing the local flora.”

That’s genius Lila. You’re so smart. Marinette growled under her breath, Lila obviously overheard her talking with Adrien and took credit for her idea.

“I actually know some parks we could go to, from when I visited with Jagged Stone a few months back. We could go to one of those, if you want?”

“That sounds great Lila!” Adrien cut in before Marinette could protest. “Let’s go now!”

“Don’t worry,” he whispered to her as the class cheered and stood up, “I’ll make sure we go to a nice park.”

That’s not what I’m worried about. Marinette thought as she watched Lila attach herself to Adrien’s arm.

She followed at a fair distance from the class; not by choice, her friends just seemed to speed up whenever she tried to walk near them.

“Marinette!” Grace tapped on her shoulder, a broad grin on her face. She was wearing the headband. “Where did you decide on going?”

“A park.”

“That’s great! Which one are you going to? Because if you haven’t decided, I have a ton of great places for you to go...” she plucked some pamphlets from her back pocket and displayed one. “I think this one would suit your needs best.”

“Thanks, Grace, but...” Marinette spared a glance at the pack of students, led by Lila and Adrien. “I think it’s already been decided.”

Grace’s expression soured. “Okay, but keep ahold of that pamphlet, will you? You might end up finding time to go.”

“I hope I do.” She waved Grace a quick goodbye and dashed back to her friends, who were already going through the door.

—

They hopped on a bus and Marinette smirked as Lila worried her lip, eyes darting towards every sign that could possibly lead her to a park.

As fun as that was, Marinette quickly got bored and began perusing the pamphlet Grace handed to her.

Quarry Stone Park

Known for its towering pillars of black stone, it is rumored that Quarry Stone Park was where the brick for the famed Culpa Manor was mined.

While the parks naming is rather obvious, it also contains many hidden paths, leading to waterfalls, gem-filled caves, and even the ocean.

A popular landmark of the park is Quarry Ledge, which overlooks the ocean. The natural black spires and stark white sands make for an amazing view.

That’s where we should be going, Marinette mused, not wherever Lila’s going to take us.

“Here we are!” Lila sang. “The best park in the whole town.”

Sure... Marinette glanced at the rotting wooden sign, the crumbling letters reading, Wooded Glade Park.

The class ran in, Alix already tossing a frisbee for Kim to catch. Adrien fell back and greeted Marinette with a silent smile and had just grabbed her hand when everyone fell silent and stared at the open field surrounded by borderline rotting trees.

“Uhh, Lila?” Ivan asked, shielding Mylene’s eyes from the mistreated plants. “Are you sure this is he place? It looks a little run down.”

“Definitely!” Lila protested, and though her back was facing Marinette, she could almost see the false tears welling up in her eyes. “I- I don’t know what happened; it used to be so beautiful... I’m so sorry everyone.”

“What if we helped you clean it up?” Rose offered. “Got rid of any trash and planted some flowers!”

“Yeah!” The class cheered, voicing their agreement.

“You- you would all do that for me?”

“Of course!”

“I can’t believe this! I... thank you!”

Mylene pulled Ivan’s hand from her eyes and glared at the offending trees. “Babe? I need a lift.”

Ivan picked her up and placed her onto his shoulders.

“Alright everybody!” She shouted, voice abnormally loud. “I need someone to carry heavy stuff, a couple people for trash and, Marinette! Can you organize our efforts?”

She smiled and was about to pull out her notebook, when Lila opened her mouth, which had proven to be a tragedy in itself.

“I don’t know guys, remember how late Marinette came in? She didn’t even get to have breakfast, we don’t want to tire her out what with the jet lag and all. I can just organize, you know I was an organizer to a famous charity.”

“That’s a great idea, Lila! I’ll help!” Adrien leaned over to whisper in Marinette’s ear. “Don’t worry, I can keep her out of trouble while you just relax and walk down one of the trails, it’s a win-win.”

But I want to walk the trails with you...

She smiled, gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked to the closest trail as fast as she could so Adrien couldn’t see the tears collecting in her eyes.

She loved how selfless Adrien was, she did. It was just... he never seemed to choose her.

She stood there for a moment and allowed herself to cry. This was supposed to be a fun trip where she could hang out with her boyfriend and friends as they all explored her favorite place in the world.

Marinette finally looked up and observed the signs marking the different paths she could take.

Daisy Walkway.

Riverside.

Quarry Stone Path.

Quarry Stone?

Marinette pulled out her pamphlet and compared the names.

Maybe I will get to see Quarry Stone after all.

—

It was a fair hike to Quarry Stone, but it was so worth it.

The trees were lush and green, every bench and table were in perfect condition, people were everywhere, and interspersed across the field were dozens of giant black pillars of rock.

Marinette gave a glance to the other trails.

Waterfalls, meadows, beachside.... there were so many choices.

“Excuse me, sir?” She touched the arm of a nearby elderly man, who was exiting one of the trails. “I was wondering, do you know these trails well? Could you maybe recommend one to me?”

“Never been to Quarry Stone, have you dear?” He gave her a friendly smile.

“No.”

“Well, when I was young and adventurous, I would go on the Nymph’s River path. On a sunny day like this, it’s sure to be a magical sight.”

“It’s cloudy, you old coot!”

A frail old woman in a worn pink dress stumbled from the same path.

“What?” The man put on a thick pair of spectacles and squinted at the sky. “So it is.”

“I’m Henry’s wife, Meredith, and what’s your name, sweetie?”

“I’m Marinette. It’s nice to meet you.” She grinned at the familiar banter that reminded her of her parents.

“Likewise, dear.” A bony hand grasped her own. “Now, what’s a little thing like you doing out here all alone?”

“Um, my class, we’re here on a field trip and we had… a disagreement on what to do.”

“Ah, and they let you do your thing but it’s not as fun alone, is it?”

“No, not really.”

“I’ve got just the place for you dear. Henry, what about...” she leaned in to whisper in his ear.

“You’re a genius, Mere. Kiddo, just go down that path,” he pointed her to the forest, “and I promise it will be a sight worth seeing.”

“Okay, thank you both so much!” She waved to the couple as she headed down the path, memorizing their faces in case they encounter one another again.

—

It truly was a sight worth seeing, as promised.

When Marinette finally broke out of the dark greens in the surrounding the trail, she was met by the most soothing sight she’d ever laid eyes on.

She was standing on a large ledge carved out of the hill; metal posts and railings were surrounding the platform. Nothing noteworthy.

But the sight it was there to show was unimaginably perfect. The sand was a pure white, which would have been blinding if it wasn’t for the clouds covering the sun. The stone spires that decorated the entire forest were dotting the beach in all their splendor, rising proudly and casting barely noticeable shadows across the sand and the pale, rolling waves.

She leaned on the railing; taking in the soothing spectacle. It was almost like she was falling asleep, her consciousness drifting until she had no other thought but the muted colors in front of her...

“Meow?”

Marinette screamed and leapt away from the sound, pushing her back against the railing and gripping it with both hands likes she was on a crashing elevator.

A black cat with startling blue eyes stared at her, tilting its head in a quizzical motion.

“Mrrrrrr.” Was its only reaction to her panic.

“He- hello?”

It stared at her waved hand, like it was the most interesting thing it had seen.

She held it out tentatively, in an open gesture, leaving enough space for it to leave.

It stared at it for a moment longer before tentatively leaning forwards to place its head in her palm. It purred as she scritched its chin.

“What’s your name, kitty?” She mused. “Garfield? Like the Culpa that started the mansion?”

It leaned its head into her pinky in a silent gesture to go on.

“Harriet? Darrian? Abigail?”

No cigar.

“What about Culpa?”

The cat purred and nuzzled her hand with a vigor.

“Culpa it is.” She brought her other hand to pet at the newly-christened Culpa’s ear.

Culpa mewled with a satisfaction that seemed... almost human on the face of the pitch cat.

—

The rest

@miraculous-of-salt @calliopeia @drama-queen-supreme @kaydenth3gayden @mcheang @nomiegnome @never-say-donuts @vixen-uchiha @miracul0us-multishipper @hauntedfreakdeputyhero @chocolatecustarddanish @iwantswifttoblessmysoul @digitalmagpie @ilseofskadi @nerdy-and-a-little-birdy @minty-goose @nataladriana9 @aestheticnpoetic @constellation-king @animegirlweeb @persephonebutkore @ahalloweengirl @r0sebutch @marinettepotterandplagg @beelzzebop @akalovelymaybe @pleasefollowmeuwu @angelost4r @constancetruggle @speaknowtome @some-oxymoron @nerdy-scifi-birdy @toodaloo-kangaroo @purplesundaze @aestheticnpoetic @neptuningkai @2confused-2doanything

[memetaped]

king of the hill taken from the tv show.

would it cheer you up if i stuffed some fig newtons up my nose? 

i like this new generation of music. (puts on headphones) mother of god, it’s all toilet sounds! 

boil up some mountain dew. it’s gonna be a long night.

i’m all jacked up on america right now! anyone want to hear me recite the constitution?

oh, god. what if i’m average?

you and your white people.

god said to me, “don’t do it.” but you know what? i knew better.

trust me, i’m an expert hater.

i don’t know whether to laugh or vomit.

yes, the penis. 

god, i’m too high to drive. that’s a side effect of the marijuana poisoning.

i don’t feel bad about it. and just because there are some people in the world who want me to feel bad about it, doesn’t mean i have to.

why would anyone do drugs when they can just mow a lawn?

go away, satan.

at least if you’re feeling full, you’re feeling something.

if we don’t hold hands soon, i’m going to lose it.

yoga? isn’t that a cult?

education is the sleeping pill that makes dreams happen.

we’re stealing a news van.

oh, god. that’s street talk for “marijuana”.

all of my emotions demand cookies.

it’s never too early to think about dying.

i’ll never use toilet paper in anger again.

the peanuts are emitting toxins as an evolutionary defense mechanism. they’re tired of being eaten, and now they’re fighting back.

hey, i didn't go looking for trouble. trouble came-a-knockin’ and ___’s foot answered the door.

i am not moping, i am having trouble supporting my head.

can’t you see you’re not making christianity any better, you’re just making rock and roll worse?

dang internet. they don’t care whose life they ruin.

i can’t have you disco dancing in the alley.  

that makes a whole lot of sense. a whole lot of nonsense! 

i am finally getting the recognition i have always given myself.  

my sloppy joe is all sloppy and no joe!

what do ya got under the foil, mr. party pooper, some party poop? 

people are gonna think we didn’t teach you shame. and i know we have.

i try to start each day doing a little something special for myself. 

do i look like i know what a JPEG is?

i’m approaching you with romantic intent. 

sometimes, i wish the government would just ban itself.

don’t play mind checkers with me, man. i’m not in the mood.

i heard on talk radio you don’t even need them. they’re just an egghead government plot.

that’s not the right sort of attitude for you to have. whatever you do, you should do right, even if it’s something wrong.

maybe i should tie the long hair on your head to the short hair on your ass and kick you down the street!

i am not single. i’m available.

no way. no got-dang way!

i don't have an anger problem, i have an idiot problem. 

but this peanut butter’s not going to eat itself.

i’m kind of busy after dinner, with dessert and all.

your heart is telling you?! who’s the boss, you or your heart? you are! your heart is your employee! so get your heart off its butt and back to work! 

i thought we agreed to never discuss the horrors we saw on the killing fields of the family fun center.  

you’re calling me weak?! look at your little birdy arms, they’re no thicker than a cigarette! i could smoke them little arms!  

is it me or is it getting a little nerdy in here?

computers don’t make errors. what they do, they do on purpose. by now, your name and particulars have been fed into every laptop, desktop, mainframe, and supermarket scanner that collectively make up the global information conspiracy, otherwise known as...”the beast”. 

me? i don’t go to church, church goes with me.

mister, i have not begun to project my anger onto you! 

i’ve quit more things than you’ve started.

i don’t think i like this club. you all whine too much, and the coffee’s bad. 

[thestarkerisobvious]

a sneak-peak of my WIP (which is an AU which is stupid because I DON’T DO AUs) that involves Peter Parker as Spider-Man, and Demon!Tony.

But my 666th follower PASSED and I still wasn't anywhere close to a place where I COULD do this so really this is in honor of follower #777.

#777 is the NEIGHBOR of the Devil, so that’s just as good, right???

...bit number one...

The Ceremony Hall

The thunder was deafening.  Still, Spider-Man did his best speak over it, apologizing profusely to the Goetia worshipers whose Seal-of-Murmur ceremony he had interrupted.  He was just there to apprehend the diamond thief, not disrespect their worship service just because it was different from his.  He didn’t want to be disrespectful.  

Altogether the Goetia worshipers were the most polite group he had ever encountered.  Yes, they were an intimidating-looking lot with their black robes and twisted-stone knives.  But when a reasonable voice called out (over the thunder) that the ceremonial knives were easily-broken irreplaceable relics should be safely stored away until the misunderstanding was cleared up, and the knives put away into their ornate wooden boxes, the group became much friendlier.  

…the hoods were removed to reveal the group for what they were, a collection of old white men (and one woman) all attempting to recreate a New York City fad from the 1920’s.  All bepeckled elderly bookworms with encyclopedic knowledge of their particular nitch (and willing to overshare.)  All a little appalled at the idea of actual violence (and all a little stark-struck at the idea of meeting Spider-Man.)

All together, Peter realized, it was just another geekfest.  Spider-Man felt right at home.

The unlikely diamond thief, too, was unusually cooperative (ultimately dispirited, it appeared, when it turned out his fellow Goetia worshipers did NOT approve of his illegal methods.)   Somewhere a tinny jazz trumpet was playing in the distance (the cultists had an excellent sound system) as a hastily-called board-meeting was held and a motioned passed to allow to suspend the celebration until the matter of the stolen Amulet (the famous Infernal Star from the X museum, an ugly art-deco pendant made from 5 cloudy unmatched diamonds) was cleared up.  

Spider-Man was invited to wine and cakes while they argued about how their jewel-thief would turn himself in.

Spider-Man was struck by how polite they all were.

Sitting in a folding chair surrounded by a few of the younger members of the group (all in their 60s and 70s) he was regaled by stories of how popular it had among wealthy New Yorkers to attempt to summon demons from the Ars Goetia in the 1920’s.  Particularly popular, ‘rival magicians’ (all the rage in the roaring twenties!) who inevitably tried to throw wrenches into the works, making sure the ceremony wasn’t perfect.  Two men with identical Boston accents and identically bald heads (Spider-Man eventually figured out that they were brothers) explained why the ceremony had to be perfect.  They went into quite a bit of detail on the subject, until they themselves got into an argument over the order of the ceremonies.  They reminded Spider-Man of Star Trek nerds arguing over who was the better captain, Kirk or Picard.  He was wondering if they were going to come to blows before they were called away for the final vote.  Spider-Man sat back in his chair and enjoyed his crescent-cake.  He had seen similar fights at Star Trek conventions.

They weren’t “cultists” so much as New York City history nerds, he had decided as he sat the sole woman of the group, the only non-voting member, told him even more stories over the cakes and wine.  The Ceremony Room was no more ominous than a fan-art auction.  Those long black robes no more bizarre than elaborate Klingon costumes at a convention. Recreating the roaring-twenties craze of celebrating demons?  Pure history geekdom.

He told himself that over and over again.

(The truth was, he wasn’t entirely sure why he was compelled to sit in this folding chair, his mask half-up to eat the dry crescent-shaped cookies and sip wine from a plastic cup as the white-haired old lady told endless stories of rival magicians were constantly sabotaging each other’s ceremonies as points of pride.  Oh yeah, he was waiting for the board to vote on how their law-breaking member was going to turn himself in.  That’s what he was waiting for.)

“Who could research the most powerful demon from the Ars Goetia, and who could recreate the ceremony the closest? Amduscias was the most popular. Amduscias was the voice heard in storms, and when he spoke he was always accompanied by the sound of trumpets,” she bragged in her tiny, birdy voice.  “He could give concerts on command, given by invisible instruments. He was very popular during the Jazz movement,” she informed him.

“That explains the music,” Spider-Man said around his seventh dry crescent cake, gesturing toward the tune (currently an all-brass rendition of “It Don’t Mean A Thing If It Ain’t Got That Swing”) playing overhead.  But the woman didn’t quite seem to understand what he meant.  There were several things she didn’t seem to quite understand. That’s why he declined her first invitation to come back next week to for the re-attempt at the ritual to summon Amduscias, Duke of Hell, Commander of the 29.  Nor did he take a lyric-sheet for the chant to Open The Seal Of Murmur.

He was the Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman, but that seemed a little TOO friendly.

In the early hours of the morning the storm quieted and the elderly worshipers ran out of stories to tell (and wine to serve)  Spider-Man finally managed to pull himself away, escorting the diamond thief to the police station and turning in the Infernal Star medallion as evidence.  He didn’t consider the evening waisted.  After all, there had been no blood shed, no punches thrown.  He considered the entire adventure a win-win.

Especially because he got to meet Anthony, the shy, nerdy but brilliant librarian who had joined the entire affair at the last moment as a translator.  He was seemed very overwhelmed by the series of events but very taken with Spiderman’s open-minded view of the ceremony he had interrupted.  In a dark underground room full of mournful men lamenting into their plastic cups of wine, (‘rival magicians’, they all assured each other.  This was because of ‘rival magicians’) Anthony was electric and elated.   

And if college student Peter Parker just *happened* to wind up in that obscure section of the Music & Arts library the next day where said librarian and mentioned (when quizzed about his dayjob?)  What could Peter say?  The man was shy and brilliant and adorable.  

I was asked to tag:         @somechick842 

[readbythestarlight]

c2e20

Can you guys believe it’s been 20 episodes already?? I can’t

LOL oh Sam we love you even if you are a nerdy loser

“IM A REAL ACTOR AGAIN”

I hate him and his ads

I knew it wouldn’t take them long to get into mischief over Nott’s never-empty flask

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

“I think four?”

“How many members of the Mighty Nein are there?”

“Nine.”

“She’s fine.”

Good job changing the subject Caleb xD

F: “Are we not worried about the ambush thing?”

Everyone: “nah”

Yasha liking to snuggle Frumpkin gives me life

Molly just… using the Platinum Dragon tapestry as a blanket and Nott wanting to make it into coats smh

Clouds??

OH ARMY

oh no the cart!

leave the cart get away from the army plz go go go

or ask for help that’s possibly a good idea maybe…

Oh yay Jester, magicing it up!

Aw not enough tho…

Hey @Matt why make them lose their cart that was rude

They are SO BAD at planning on the fly it’s amazing

Hello Captain Maximillian

Laura, grinning: “What do he look like?” Laura is me I wanna know what the NPCs look like always

NOTT

NO

omg Nott plz

omg did it work

lol its food xD

Female solider: looks at Yasha

Yasha: *most awkward grin ever*

I apologize Matt thanks for letting them keep the cart

Jester loves showing off her strength and it’s the best thing ever I love it so much

Beau asking Fjord about his dreams. Beau is gonna singlehandedly dig up everyone’s backstories.

Fjord being a shifty boy about the dreams…

So much rain…. I don’t like it, it’s going to take Ashley/Yasha away soon isn’t it I can tell

YOOOOOOOO YASHA BACKSTORY

IVE BEEN WAITING

baby giiiiirl

BABY GIRL

matt I asked for a week without being sad for one of my children. just a week. that was all i asked for.

jesus matt why do you have to make me sad

Storm god??

stoRM GOD????

“You walk the right path. Be strong. Don’t forget who you were, and decided who you will become.” IT’S FINE IM FINE.

Ashley’s face is the same face I’m making right now

Yasha being an umbrella for Nott lol. For all of three seconds.

My life gets better every time Yasha speaks I’m not even kidding

Yasha and Nott bonding over collecting things is cute

I swear Sam just adds strange new things for Nott to collect every week

Seriously Nott and Yasha are just so precious

Caleb wants to poof in a house all the time

Molly and Nott are the Caleb cheerleading squad and totally believe he can magically poof in a mansion someday

LOL Caleb and his one push up

Please don’t melt the cart, Nott

YAY one vial of acid good for her

Idiots doing bird calls and Fjord and Caleb are jus like “oooookay really tho”

omg are they gonna find a pet crow in a trap i want them to

“THANK YOU OSCAR—I MEAN FJOOOORD”

creepy moving thing in the swamp 0/10

BIRB PERSON?

CREEPY SWAMP LIZARD

goooo Jester!

B: “What are we saving??”

N: “I don’t know, we’re—right now we’re saving Jester!”

SWAMP MAP SWAMP MAP

Haste on Nott, nice!

Oh wait except haste in a battle can be bad…

Matt with a sneaky second gator monster

Nat1, the bird lives!

“A 2, are you fucking serious!?” lol Matt! He’s so salty.

LOL then being like “wait the bird is restrained…” he really wanted to fuck up the bird xD

Fjord just like “why are we doing this”

Enthrall?? Have we seen that happen yet?

I love their enthusiasm about their new spells/attacks

Travis gets so excited every time Yasha rages its my fave

And Liam gets excited every time Nott does something sneaky/rogueish

Not how do you always end up pinned by/inside something

HURRY THE BIRB IS DYING

fighting in a swamp is the worst they’re so slooooow

oh wait i blinked and Yasha is the one in the gator’s jaws now I’m confused

My girl Yasha with the first HDYWTDT of the night again I’m so proud.

RIPPING THE GATOR’S JAWS APART LIKE SHE’S KING KONG YO

oh man poor Not! grappled again. thank goodness for uncanny dodge tho.

Nat20 to beat it on the nose go Beau!

Curse of the Eyeless?? What are all these things??

Liam all like “no no no matt no hurting nott” is such a mood

SAM DONT RISK IT WHAT THE FUCK

Jester is the worst cleric/Laura is the best worst

poor Fjord has been so useless xD

I TAKE IT BACK showed up just in time to get the other HDYWTDT

“Nott today!” xD

“A slop-dolly of epic proportions!”

Oh the bird! Yay!

Adorable little bird person!

IT SPEAKS

A LIL BABBY BIRDIE??

I LOVE HER ALREADY

i can’t believe the mighty nein are gonna take care of a kid

she wrote thank you awwwwwwww

Four she’s four she’s such a babby

Kiri I’m gonna adopt you

SHE’S LOST POOR BABY

Jester/Laura is in mom mode and I love it

I can’t believe she got stuck and her family just left her poor baby Kiri I’m cryyyying

“Nowhere to go, can I come with you?”

I CRY

“Can you handle a weapon?” CALEB SHE’S FOUR SHE’S A BABBY

omg she put her little wings like she was gonna fight I cryyyyyyyyyy

LOL the way she mimicked Fjord’s voice

omg Nott got that pouch of oats and corn. How convenient!

Beau please don’t hit Kiri

LOL she rolled a Nat20 to hit Beau good for her

OH NO DID THEY EAT KIRI’S FAMILY

Caleb totally playing dad to keep Kiri away from the talk about her family possibly being dead I cryyyyyyy

BEAU YOU CAN’T JUST ABANDON HER

she’s so tiny i love her

YOU WILL NOT DROP HER OFF YOU WILL KEEP HER AND LOVE HER UNTIL YOU CAN GET HER BACK TO HER FAMILY

The mighty nein have 8 members now!

Nott and Jester losing their shit over how cute Kiri is is such a mood

Aw poor baby is scared of Frumpkin xD

Caleb sharing his comfort cat is the cutest sweetest thing ever

Ashley why are you insight checking my sweet bird child

Nott gives to Kiri, Jester gives to Nott, Caleb tries to give to Jester. What a bunch of nerds.

Jester and the cranky old lady

“What the FUCK is pocket bacon?!” xD

Caleb is NOT getting into this place lol. An eight foot climb up a rope? Skinny boy can’t handle that.

Beau, honey, please don’t antagonize the Crown’s Guard

“I don’t like you”

“I get that a lot” Poor Beau

LOL then the awkward face off I love Beau so much

“that was me at 16 with every cop” Taliesin Jaffe backstory

NOTT NO ALCOHOL FOR KIRI

“We’ll get her a Tirly Shemple”

“Is it haunted?”

“….Do you like things that are haunted?”

“Yeah.”

“Then it’s haunted!”

Caleb making an intimidation check oh no

Oh wait it worked? holy cow

“It ain’t worth the coin!!”

“What if we gave you a hundred coin?”

“I’d come for that.”

lol Jester forcing the dude to sing

omg is Matt gonna sing??

I’M CRYING

do not trust the guy to take the cart that’s probably a horrible idea…

Nott darling sweetheart light of my life your problems are not a burden talk to Caleb if you need to

wow listen can we go like three weeks without making me sad about Caleb’s past and Nott’s issues

CALEB MIDDLENAME WIDOGAST DO NOT CALL YOURSELF A GARBAGE PERSON (unless you mean it ironically which I know you don’t) I WON’T STAND FOR IT

Matt’s face while Beau and Jester are talking about Captain Max

DO NOT LET KIRI READ YOUR SMUT BOOK JESTER

Molly like super locking up his room is smart, 10/10, that’s using your head

Fjord are you really just gonna sleep in two inches of swamp water

Yasha is having none of this gross guy’s shit good for her

This episode was sooooo good! I hate that I missed it live. It’s all good though. I’ll be back next week!

ALSO I’M SERIOUSLY GONNA ADOPT KIRI

ending it on teasing Marisha about her notebook

GUEST GUEST GUEST GUEST GUEST

[foxtrotparadox]

Egg hunt

Disclaimer: Lance won a bet and got to pick everybody’s names.

-

(Voltron: A group chat between Sharpshooter, Chef Hunk, Mullet, Nerdy Birdy, Space Dad, Princess Salt, and Coran Coran The Gorgeous Man)

Sharpshooter: guys

Sharpshooter: guys

Sharpshooter: guys

Nerdy Birdy: what Lance?

Sharpshooter: I've prepared a challenge for you guys ;)

Nerdy Birdy: Oh god.

Chef Hunk: Oh god.

Mullet: Oh god.

Space Dad: Oh god.

Princess Salt: Oh god.

Coran Coran The Gorgeous Man: Oh god.

Sharpshooter: OMFG i hate you all.

Sharpshooter: but in all seriousness, I've prepared an... *Drum roll for dramatic effect*... EASTER EGG HUNT!

Space Dad: It's Easter already? Lance how the hell are you keeping track of Earth time?

Nerdy Birdy: I managed to remember what day it was when we left Earth and made a mini calendar. It's probably incorrect but let Lance have his moment.

Princess Salt: Wait. Wtf is Easter??

Chef Hunk: It's a holiday that's supposed to celebrate the day a religious figure came back to life but was replaced by a rabbit who hides chocolate eggs for kids to find. But it's really the parents hiding the chocolate.

Mullet: We aren't actually doing this? How did you find eggs Lance?

Sharpshooter: Well.... I didn't exactly hide 'eggs'.

Sharpshooter: Hunk baked some egg shaped cookies for this event.

Nerdy Birdy: Hunk, you helped him?

Chef Hunk: Yeah! Easter's one of my favorite holidays I don't wanna miss it!

Coran Coran The Gorgeous Man: What're the rules?

Sharpshooter: Glad you asked! It's simple, really. Just find as many of the cookies as you can! once you find them their yours. You can eat 'em, share 'em, whatever.

Mullet: But that means you and Hunk don't get to participate, since you know where all the eggs are.

Sharpshooter: No need to worry Keith! Me and Hunk didn't want to miss out so we we got Slav to hide them since he didn't want to join us in the hunt.

Princess Salt: Sounds fun! When do we start?

Sharpshooter: On your marks.

Space Dad: Alright, guess we're doing this.

Sharpshooter: Get set!

Nerdy Birdy: -Imma beat all of your asses-

Sharpshooter: Go!

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After Lance made sure the message had sent properly, he tossed his phone onto the bed and ran out from his bedrooom. Everyone else had also gotten out from the rooms. Allura looked around happily before picking out a direction to start with. Keith looked apathetic as usual, but he still jogged out from his room to find the cookies. Hunk's mouth seemed to be watering at the thought of eating the cookies he had cooked himself. Pidge had a determined look in her eye as she ran down the hall. Coran ran from his room, dramatically sliding into the wall across the hall, before marching off in his own direction. Shiro looked out from his room with a slight smile on his face, walking down the hall after double checking that everyone was actually going along with this.

Lance smiled proudly, ecstatic that his plan had played out. Now all that was left was to collect the most eggs. Lance ran past Keith with a shit-eating smirk on his face. Keith scowled under his breath before picking up speed and running past Lance. The kept up like this until they eventually got to their first place to start searching, they had picked the training deck. "Good luck, sharpshooter." Keith mocked, making fun of the name Lance picked for himself for the group chat. "I'm gonna kick your ass, Mullet." Lance teased back. Keith rolled his eyes and started checking the corners of the room. The room was pretty empty so there were little to no hiding places, but it didn't hurt to look.

Keith eyed the corners of the room until something caught his eye. A pastel blue shape was on the ground in the corner of the room decorated with a pastel pink polka dot pattern. Keith picked up the egg and his first thought was to rub it in Lance's face.

"Got one!"

Keith and Lance looked at eachother, shocked that they had just said the same thing simultaneously. Lance's egg was the same design as Keith's just reversed colors. "The fuck..." Crap not again! "Stop that!" Oh god let this end. "Okay! Now you're doing this on purpose!" They shouted at eachother from across the room. "No I'm not!" They screamed again. Holy shit this was embarassing. "Just shut up!" They yelled one last time before sighing, frustrated. They both figured that they had found the only eggs in this room and left, not saying anything else.

Meanwhile, Allura searched the control deck of the castle ethusiastically. The mice already knew where all the eggs in this room were, but they didn't want to help her cheat. She was looking under a chair when someone's voice startled her. "Morning, princess." Shiro greeted from the doorway. Allura jumped from the sudden noise, banging her head on the bottom of the chair. "Ow!" She exclaimed silently. Shiro chuckled softly. "You alright princess?" He asked, helping Allura up. "Yeah, yeah I'm alright." She responded softly, rubbing her head. What're you doing here?" She asked, looking up at Shiro. "To find the eggs of course." Shiro said, lettting go of Allura after making sure she was standing up properly.

"Joke's on you, I'm finding all the eggs in this room." Allura joked, putting her hands on her hips for dramatic effect. Shiro chuckled softly again. "Alright, princess, challenge accepted." Shiro smirked and had his eyelids fall halfway. Allura blushed slightly before rushing to the next chair, getting on all fours and looking under it. Shiro Went to look under the control panel. "Found on- ow!" Allura exclaimed, saying 'ow' because she had just her head on the bottom of the chair, again. Shiro laughed while he watched Allura stand up, holding an egg shaped cookie in one hand and her head in the other. The egg was a hot pink with thin, spread-out black stripes.

After about half an hour later they all regrouped and counted their eggs. Pidge got the most saying "Told ya!" Keith and Lance tied second place and Pidge wouldn't stop teasing that they probably worked together, flustering and or disgusting the two boys. Allura got third, excited she got top three. Shiro was fourth tied with hunk while coran got last place, poor, poor gorgeous man. After counting they agreed to pool together the cookies and split them equally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Princess Salt: Well, that was quite fun! Are we to be expecting any more up coming Earth holidays?

Sharpshooter: You bet your quiznak we got something ready!

Coran Coran The Gorgeous Man: Do we get to know?

Chef Hunk: Nope.

Nerdy Birdy: I want in on the surprise. Like behind the scenes action

Sharpshooter: Too bad. Me and Hunk got this in the bag.

Space Dad: Can't wait for it.

Mullet: Me neither.

Chef Hunk: seRSGYUHHYvyugbtdvfg

Sharpshooter: Hunk, buddy, you alright?

Chef Hunk: Chef Hunk's out of comission, it's Nerdy Birdy. I'll be texting Lance in his private chat with Hunk and we will be discussing the next event. Don't worry, Hunk can still help.

Sharpshooter: Okay geez, didn't have to be so

Sharpshooter: WAIT PIDGE STOP!

Chef Hunk has left the chat

Sharpshooter: Shit!

Sharpshooter has left the chat

Princess Salt: Wow. Pidge is a savage.

Mullet: I have a feeling we'll enjoy the next event.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(The Legs: A private chat between Chef Hunk and Sharpshooter)

Today: 1:15

Chef Hunk: Well, well, well. Lance it looks like you and Hunk have been discussing more than just mother's day.

Lance: Busted...

-

Wow, rich text is a pain in the ass.

[jedi-bird]

Day two goody haul @legendsconsortium plus photos from some of the panels we attended. I couldn't decide between the lightsaber and since it was a special day I gave in and got both. Got a few more books signed and bought some extra signed ones from the Mysterious Galaxy booth (and regret passing on one but can't do anything about that now). This was probably the most fun I've had at a convention in a while, and not just because it was my first one in four years. Everyone was awesome and made it so much fun. I'm looking forward to going again in the future.

[jedi-bird]

My new blind box kitty is super cute. He's going next to my sewing area once I get it back.

[jedi-bird]

Today I accomplished a dream I never let myself truly have. I got my Art of Chicken Run book signed as well as for a poster signed for the sequel. I got to meet Sam Fell and Peter Lord (something I truly never believed would happen). They were wonderful and it was so much fun to listen to them talk about the movies and about Aardman and art in general. Chicken Run has and always will be in my top ten movies, so this was a great day.

[jedi-bird]

My pretty new art pieces. The one on the left is by Andrea Rawson and the one on the right is by Amber Feng. They will hopefully be matted and framed soon and displayed for us to enjoy.

[jedi-bird]

There are a few books that I read while growing up that influenced my desire to be a writer (I'll get there someday, I swear). One of those was the Green Rider by Kristen Britain. At the time, it was the exact fantasy book I needed and craved. Recently, I had the opportunity to order a special signed edition in honor of it's 25 year since publication. And of course it came today, in a very heavy rain storm.

Box was soaked all the way through, but thankfully the book was wrapped in plastic and in perfect condition. It might seem silly to buy a book I already own two copies of yet again (my original falling apart mass market paperback and a used library copy with heavy duty binding that I've switched to using for rereads), but I love collecting new versions of beloved books.

[jedi-bird]

The market had the exact batteries I needed to get my ornament working, so now it sings "I Want a Hippocampus For Christmas" every time I push the button.

[jedi-bird]

Today I hung up the first ever art print that I bought at a convention. This is still one of my favorite @pascalcampion pieces and the first big art piece that started my print collection. It's spent years in the frame, sitting in a box or in storage, waiting for a wall. Today was finally that day.

[jedi-bird]

Isn't she just the cutest little thing?

[jedi-bird]

Every year I buy myself one really nice thing for my birthday. This years (very, very, very) early birthday present is a very heavy and very colorful Cal Kestis lightsaber. Testing it out will have to wait until tomorrow, but I couldn't resist opening it as soon as it was delivered.

[jedi-bird]

The saga of the frame and mat has come to a close today. The frame arrived yesterday; thankfully the notification came quickly so it didn't get soaked in the rain. The mat came today, so I stopped what I was doing to put them together with the print.

I am very very happy with it. None of it was easy to find due to odd sizing, but it's almost exactly what I pictured in my head. Now to decide where to hang it (I've got a couple of options that would work well).