#bitch plays football

[nikitatheweasel2]

Vijeko chilling in Maksimir

He is on his 9th cup of coffee 👁👁

[chubphoe]

their sibling relationship was actually so pure

[geekysprinkler]

at this point the best survivor strategy is to pretend you’ve never watched the show. They’re targeting people for saying they liked a bitch who played the game 3 times and everyone’s like ‘oh she knows too much oh she’s crafty’ ‘this person can name a former survivor player that means they know what they’re doing’ ok girl sure yeah. ‘He said Boston rob that means he’s a real superfan that’s dangerous’ I mean. No but whatever.

[gulski2]

[butchlifeguard]

apparently the guy taking her to homecoming really pressured her and she doesnt even like him .... im not gonna say anything

[yikes-ajax]

Thinking about how deranged this thanksgiving was.

I hit a kid with my cane. I popped so many painkillers. I hit a kid with my cane again. I went black Friday shopping and came back only with things that weren't on sale. I hit that kid with my cane so hard in the shin he's gonna need a cane, too. I had a religious crisis. I threw my cane at that kid in the passenger seat because he said I don't need handicap parking. Some dude dressed in a really nice santa costume was just standing at the end of his driveway waving at cars and I barked violently at him. I fucking punched that kid. I spent more money on a dog than my family. I still bought that kid ice cream because I hate him but I hate the company I took the money from more. At some point I just fell asleep under the dinner table. I played Minecraft with that kid and he's a fucking loser. I had a whole therapy session in the car trauma dumping for the two hour drive home. I'm going to ruin that kids life I'm just too tired right now. It's been days and I still feel hungover. I didn't even drink.

Needless to say I think the spirit of doctor House possessed me for thanksgiving. Either way 10/10 would do again and Christmas is either gonna put me in jail or back on Lexapro

[doinggreat]

idk i didnt see how that’s a yellow :-)

[lokilickedme]

The pure cuddly joy of spending a cold Colorado morning sending Instagram cat reels back and forth with the love of your life because he's in Utah for the week and you're not

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

[fearnotthedemons]

houndposting below 👇

the beautiful thing abt hound is that they’re very much the same no matter what universe i decide to stick them in. irish (or the fantasy equivalent), affable, competent, fit to burst with bad dog puns. from a broken home of some sort and raised by a loving grandfather. a frustrated youth that comes off as angry and only cools off with time and maturity and proper Outlets. attracted to big, sad, hairy men. they all earn the nickname hound one way or another and that’s the Heart of them but jack healy is what shows up on government documents. short for jacqueline? weird nickname for john? just jack? depends on which hound you ask.

the biggest changes are backstory, gender, and to a lesser extent physical appearance. hound fifa2020 is a boy and hound dragonage is a girl largely for game mechanic reasons. the hound that lives in my head is delightfully ambiguous (though it must be said that there is an element of fluidity and nonconformity to every hound’s gender). hound callofduty is the most difficult to nail down, and that’s intentional bc i think it’s so fun to fill in the extra details a million different ways, but my other hounds more or less have the same or similar physical appearance as seen in this post. love is stored in that nose 🙏

wayyyy too many backstories for one post so i’ll just blab about the Default modern day nonfantasy hound origin……. jack healy, born jan 19 of some year or another in kildare, ireland to seamus and catherine healy. their parents weren’t outright abusive, but they were certainly neglectful, so by the time jack turned 11 they were deemed unfit and forced to give up custody. jack moved in with their granddad, one kenneth healy, shortly after. their grandmother nancy, affectionately referred to as ‘nancy nan’, died years ago and auntie dierdre never came around much with her family so it’s just jack and granddad for the most part. they both really needed each other. together they manage the small, struggling family farm, sorting sheep with their border collie named bad dog. jack throws themself into the work and this new life bc it’s easier than dealing with their complicated emotions surrounding. well. Everything. and though they do eventually settle outside of their anger it’s a long road to get there. granddad gets pretty regular calls from school about jack getting caught brawling. in an attempt to harness their energy for good and not evil, granddad gets jack their very own border collie pup for their 14th birthday. they call her fly, and spend just about every waking moment training her up to work alongside bad dog…

unfortunately there is much more And i skipped over parts but. i will shut up now 💖 sacred hound lore be upon ye @meowtavish 🐺❤️‍🔥

[allpromarlo]

rodgers coming back less than 3 months after tearing his achilles to play 4 games on a non-playoff team behind an o-line that couldn't stop a child from taking candy. what are we doing here man

[yellobb]

My dad: why don’t my children like me as much as they like their mother 😔

Also my dad: *throws a hissy fit because my sister’s 21st birthday is the day of a football game he wants to watch on TV, asks if we can celebrate it on a different day, and complains about where she wants to do it*

[escapaldi]

going to the ballgame tonight and lemme tell ya it's EMBARRASSING how long it's taken to get to a baseball game with my fiancé since it's not for lack of want or trying it's just hard to coordinate when I easily burn and melt simultaneously on top of summer being so busy otherwise T_T

...but on the bright side, we've only got one more sport to see and then we've ticked off the major Detroit sports. Two if you really wanna count DCFC.

[punsbulletsandpointythings]

WELP I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS

[iamarec]

“I’m not sure what a corset is” “I’ll explain it to you later honey” player has rib injury and said his extra padding feels like a corset