#bl analysis

[absolutebl]

Genuine Question: Given how much people hate problematic topics in BL eg: kp, mame, love syndrome, etc. why is everyone so damn excited about Only Friends? Like we know nothing about the show. It's GMMTV so how sexy is it going to get? you know, like it's GMMTV. I like the cast as much as anyone and particularly FirstKhao but I don't see this 'sexiness' everyone is going so crazy over? Is it some bts thing like I know the director is jojo and he's gay. Is that why everyone so excited? Is it because we just haven't gotten anything really brilliant this year that gets the whole BL fandom together and that's why people are hoping this will, is that what's going on? I like everyone involved well enough but 'sexy', 'crazy', 'problematic', 'high heat'... I don't get it.

Only Friends & Jojo

Genuine answer.

Okay so this question got me invested enough to get off the phone, over to the laptop, and onto hotel wifi, which means typos rather than dictation homophones, but there it is.

I guess what I am saying it...

mistakes will be made

From the tenor of your question methinks you have not watched Friend Zone? It's a 2 part series. Mostly messy hets but...

Also a TON of broad spectrum queer rep (lesbian, bi, ace, demi). Real queers, not sanitized for straight consumption.

Because yeah, GMMTV will get messy and go into higher heat levels in a late night way (not in a KP way).

But actually what has most people excited about Only Friends is it being sourced in this man:

Jojo Tichakorn Phukhaotong

Jojo is a screenwriter (originals) and director, openly gay, multifaceted and a little experimental, naturally talented (on the job trained - he's an archaeologist originally), and he is behind:

The Warp Effect, Friend Zone and MOST importantly (IMHO)...

3 Will Be Free

There are others too, but for the purposes of this post, those are the 3 that count. I think of him a little as the GMMTV director version of Ohm's acting.

Jojo specializes in:

ensemble pieces,

good chemistry (NOT necessarily high heat, so by this I mean actor chemistry with each other all around - couples, cast, team, production)

working with and finding actors within GMMTV's stable who work well together (even if that means busting up a pair),

a queer lens,

queer rep,

and often very messy story (as in he is not invested in the traditional beats of a romance, let alone a BL).

AND he can shoot action (this is a specific skill set for directors and it's NOT easy),

thus he will shoot his sex/intimacy & COMEDY scenes as if they WERE action sequences.

This makes his stuff particularly exciting to watch. It's dynamic, there's a lot of movement, the eye is caught and dragged places. He doesn't use dirty/peekaboo framing or central aperture or manga style (not with INTENT the way trained directors do). In fact he does none of those things I harp on about because I like the romance stuff.

He's not being clever with us. He's being honest, but still applying skill. His stuff not quite raw, but also not really directed. You can tell he gives his actors a script, throws them together and then instructs them to just BE THOSE CHARACTERS. He has a light touch, he trusts them. He's not fussy or nit-picky. He's not doing a million takes to get that sene exactly how he envisions it. His ensemble pieces are just that, group projects.

His eye is wide, even for intimacy, by which I mean: he controls and watches for multiple actors at once when there are a lot of them on screen together, without them feeling stiff.

His style is quite organic but not too gritty.

Struggling to understand what I mean?

For example, watch a Jojo "group of friends chatting" scene where everyone is just standing around then watch the same thing in, say, SCOY. You'll see what I mean. SCOY is also a very queer ensemble piece, but it will feel quite stiff, unnatural, and "planned" (staged) by comparison.

For the giffers out there you might notice that Jojo's stuff is particularly difficult to gif cleanly? This is why.

I find him an exciting director. I didn't cover him in my directors overview because at the time he hadn't done much BL (and frankly, he still hasn't). It's not his focus.

I think Only Friends is actually not likely to be very BL. Queer = yes, BL = NO. He won't hit the tropes and there is no reason to assume it will end happily for all couples (if any). That's not Jojo's point of view.

He doesn't play our game. As a result, some of those excited by the idea of this show (or excited the general enthusiasm & anticipation around it), may be doomed to disappointment.

It's one of the reasons you don't see me getting excited about it.

I'm a fan of specifically the fluffy side of BL, this will NOT be that. And I can appreciate a director without necessarily liking the stories he tells.

I am industry enough to acknowledge Jojo's skill (and I LOVE 3 Will Be Free - just not as a BL), but I don't always like his narratives. No matter how good he is, his stuff is not why I personally watch Thai BL.

It's GMMTV, so how sexy is it going to get?

Again, see Friend Zone. GMMTV has a late night pantheon, mostly for het, but they will get salacious. Lots of cheating and terrible decisions. There will be no archetypes. Characters will exist in grey areas, even the "good" characters. There will be no paladins in this show. No seme/uke.

To answer this frankly?

Only Friends will get soap opera or telenovella sexy but no more. So we will be in Midnight Chicken territory, not Bed Friends.

I think the words being bandied about:

'sexy', 'crazy', 'problematic', 'high heat'

are used here on tumblr (and in fandom) as an attempt to articulate expectations set up by Jojo's style.

Most viewers only react emotionally to the tenor of a director with this set of skills. That's fine, that's what the production company wants: A visceral emotional reaction.

But I hope I've managed to clarify from a film-critic perspective what's bringing this sensation about?

But ALSO seeing a bunch of, essentially, lower heat pure BL pairs, have to push themselves into messy queer spaces? (Notice GMMTV only let the more established actors into this one? No JoongDunk, no GeminiFourth)

This is probably really what everyone is excited about.

They are gonna see their favorites cheat, sleep around, be gay (not BL gay, but actual gay). Some are legitimately excited about this, some are shipper excited, and the BL-stans who don't know Jojo are doomed to disappointment.

I'm mostly excited by how messy this is gonna make the fandom.

Su su na.

(source)

[kimdokja-real]

Explaining JoongDok and the other pairings

For DokJoong fans. This is in relation to my recent post replying an ask on why it's always the 'boy king' type being bottom.

Why, it's because it's a stereotype, and I talked about JoongDok being similar to a pairing Shizaya, people probably don't know what Shizaya is, so I decided to make this post to show the pairing. So people know what I'm talking about

Dokjoong fans, have this post for why JoongDok is so popular. Maybe knowing why, we can accept it better...

So I understand JoongDok because JoongDok really reminds me of this pairing I shipped, Shizaya. Picture above, left is Shizuo, the top, right is Izaya, the bottom.

These two really have the kind of chemistry that when you just see them together, you feel like shipping them together if you're a BL fan, kind of like JoongDok.

Izaya is similar to Kim Dokja, he's a mastermind, he deals with information, he's an information broker (like Kim Dokja relies and uses information from Ways of Survival), he does not get along with people well even though he claims to love humans. Shizuo is about the only person who's somewhat special to him (like Yoo Joonghyuk for Kim Dokja) but whom he fights a lot with (again, like Kim Dokja arguing and fighting with Yoo Joonghyuk). He has a slender body but knows how to fight (He can survive against Shizuo and be a match against him when Shizuo is damn strong). He's 175cm.

Shizuo is also like Yoo Joonghyuk, he's tall 185cm, he's a rough man but has a soft spot for those he cares about, and he has superhuman strength (how Yoo Joonghyuk is physically very strong). He doesn't care about most people, but it's Izaya who sets him off with his taunts and fighting him (How Yoo Joonghyuk is set off by Kim Dokja's words and taunts), he gets angry because of that. And he yells 'Izaya!' like Yoo Joonghyuk calls 'Kim Dokja!'.

And as you can see from the first picture, 'This is a story of twisted love' they have the in canon BL implication, like Kim Dokja's, 'Incarnation Kim Dokja will be killed by the one he loves the most'.

So they really are quite similar, and this is just an example of a Tall Cold Rough Man x Shorter Sly Intelligent Man

It's an easy dynamic to ship, and I believe that's why JoongDok is so popular, like Shizaya was.

Izaya also has the lonely nature like Kim Dokja, he doesn't have trauma but didn't have his parents around when he was young and he claims to love humans but he's always alone and of course he's intelligent as an information broker.

Shizuo is also actually intelligent and sharp (like Yoo Joonghyuk), but it's not one of his outward traits, he's more known as rough and violent (like Yoo Joonghyuk or at least how Kim Dokja describes him) and so people easily take him to be the Top in the relationship. Like Yoo Joonghyuk.

And just like JoongDok, they even have an in canon BL fangirl!

This girl Karisawa Erika is just an otaku at first but like Uriel, she is actually dangerous inside. She's kind of cold like Uriel can actually be and a sort of sadist. So this is the...in canon BL fangirl but serious character like for JoongDok.

ONLY in ORV, for Uriel, she actually shipped DokJoong first, thinking Kim Dokja is Top. Sadly JoongDok fans don't acknowledge this.

And yeah there's even a in canon 'You must be in love with him.' moment 'And that's why you did all that'.

Like Kim Dokja's, 'Killed by the person he loves the most' moment with Yoo Joonghyuk.

Yeha see the big LOVE sign behind Izaya.

This pairing is so popular like JoongDok even people who don't know the anime can know about the pairing

Because people create this kind of content for it.

It's like how ORV was thought to be a BL because of JoongDok. Durarara was also thought to be a BL because of Shizaya.

Yeah and Izaya and Kim Dokja have the same shit eating smile

Like the messing with people smile. I believe they're both ENTP. (But Izaya is bottom, Kim Dokja is top, for their respective relationships)

And Izaya is a very popular character like Kim Dokja. I found this randomly.

Yeah you can even see that Izaya is pictured with a small waist like Kim Dokja, with Shizuo's waist being bigger than his. They even have similar hairstyles! And the canon fanservice.

The angry man vs the calmer man.

And genderbend

For fandom, Shizaya has this

Using the smaller guy, with the smaller guy accepting it because he loves the bigger guy so much, or he's weaker somehow, is basically JoongDok porn. Yoo Joonghyuk also turns a bit evil in some JoongDok which is so OOC for him, since Kim Dokja said he's a man nobler in heart than anyone else.

I could have used a better image it kind of looks like rape but I'm lazy, like I don't mean rape but I don't know, rough sex with cold rough top.

Here are some comparisons (JoongDok images ahead warning to DokJoong fans, it's for comparison)

The looking cute trapped bottom

The undressing and embarrassed bottom

The emotional hug/kiss

The bottom thinking 'his kiss is too much I can't stand it I'm weak' complete with blushing

And lastly, the possessive top

Yeah coincidentally their eyes look the same.

Oh and oops the smaller guy 'taking charge' power bottom image

This is to show Cold Rough Top x Sly Intelligent Bottom is just a yaoi trope, for JoongDok. It hardly has anything to do with their characters at all.

Two different media, two different characters, four different characters but the way they are seen is the same, because they both have the stereotype of Cold Rough Top x Sly Intelligent Bottom.

Or Cold Rough Top x Cool Intelligent Bottom. Well, being sly is kind of like being cool.

The fanart is appealing, it's simple and catches attention, it has yaoi tropes, and is easy for BL fans or yaoi fans to like.

So JoongDok is the expression of the Cold Rough Top x Sly Intelligent Bottom yaoi stereotype or the Cold Rough Top x Cool Intelligent Bottom or even Cold Rough Top x Confident Intelligent Bottom. When you see images in yaoi form, the fics you write tend to be like those images as well. For JoongDok and Shizaya.

The most accurate description of the trope would be Cold Rough Emotional Top x Sly Intelligent Cool Bottom.

Like if a male character is very cool and capable also with slyness or confidence, all the more fans want to see him flustered in a yaoi pairing with a guy he cares about a lot, a blushing easily embarrassed bottom, because he's usually so confident and cool so fans want to see him vulnerable, that's what happened to Kim Dokja.

And like just, losing himself in pleasure or losing control since he's so in control in canon all the time, fans tend to want to see the opposite, the cool male character with intelligence losing himself.

The more independent, cool and confident a male character is, the more fans want to see him flustered and blushing and weak in a yaoi pairing with a guy he cares about. Like, more independent = more bottom. We can see this with Kim Dokja and Izaya.

If you wanna know where it comes from, it's from the early yaoi manga Finder or Viewfinder.

I'm not going to link to Shizaya yaoi fics and JoongDok yaoi fics because that would be too much, but trust me, it's very similar, JoongDok fics to Shizaya. Yaoi, angst, quarrelling, porn. Touching moments, emotional scenes, some fluff, embarrassed bottom, possessive top, smug top and even more embarrassed bottom, 'cute stuff', taking care of bottom top, sex god confident top and 'reluctant' bottom or tearful bottom, rough sex, etc.

Perhaps there are JoongDok fics which really care about Kim Dokja's character and care about Yoo Joonghyuk, but the majority is just yaoi and angst. Those fics get lost in the majority. Er I haven't spoken about angst for Shizaya, but you can imagine. Two enemies getting together, both troubled. And Izaya angst, you can just imagine too.

When in reality Izaya is like this

And Kim Dokja is like this

Neither of them are feminine bottom boys in canon.

Kim Dokja is a steady man. He stands like a man, faces constellations like a man, also faces Yoo Joonghyuk like a man (okay in denial man for that one), goes through the whole damn apocalypse with his plans like a man. I seriously don't see any of the feminineness in canon Kim Dokja that fanon Kim Dokja has.

In fact Yoo Joonghyuk has more feminineness in canon. He's tsundere, he denies his emotions like a woman, has the female form which Kim Dokja subtly lusts over (he called her eyes sultry, that implies sex), and is the one paid attention to and protected by Kim Dokja. He's a man too of course but he's a tired man, yeah the regressions.

So what do we do?

The yaoi stereotypes of JoongDok is already there in the fandom like for other fandoms with Cold Rough Top and Sly Intelligent Bottom, like for Shizaya, Durarara, the example I gave. Can't do anything about that.

Guys, we just need to create more content. We need to create more content for Dokjoong.

Don't be hesitant or think it's not good enough or something...just create content! Just Post!

I think this fandom is scared. This is just my opinion...I don't know how to express it, but I think this fandom is scared of breaking the status quo.

As if to write Dokjoong seriously is a sin.

I don't know if my work encourages people. I hope it does. To write Dokjoong

By the way guys check out Durarara if you're looking for a good anime or a good story. It's worth watching. And like ORV, has strong female characters with very individual personalities. And yeah BL shipping too (it would be like shipping JoongDok though lol you have to read the light novels if you really wanna know their personalities, okay just kidding, Izaya is a villain, Kim Dokja is a good guy, there are differences).

Okay I'm gonna end this post with ChildeZhongli (cause I keep on talking about it)

Childe

Zhongli

And that's it. The fanart is very nice but I've reached the maximum image number for this post so I can't show it. You can just google if you're interested. You can just imagine ChildeZhongli or ZhongliChilde by their looks. So to recap, Zhongli as the bottom (Zhongli is the cooler looking guy) was much more popular than Childe as the bottom (Childe is the lackadaisical friendly looking guy) for a long while (kind of like Kim Dokja, people wanted to see a cool in control guy in canon get flustered) until somehow a little bottom Childe became super bottom Childe and became more popular than Zhongli as the bottom, I think cause Childe's character showed up a lot in the game Genshin Impact and people began to like him more, and also because people kept on creating content for bottom Childe so let's create content for bottom Yoo Joonghyuk!

This is what the two guys of the pairing I kept on talking about look like. And with that I end this post.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Episode 10: The Couch

Wow @lurkingshan, it’s like you really know me! This scene is exactly what I was going to talk about for Episode 10 because the fucking TENSION put so much weight in to the air when I was watching that I could hardly breathe. 

CHRIS CHIU

THE ACTOR THAT YOU ARE

Scene Breakdown time!

First of all, I love the little couple dynamic moments we get between Lili and San Pang, where Lili has to tap San Pang in to Yuan and Qian’s fight. San Pang arrives and in a very strategic move informed by knowing Qian and Yuan for a significant amount of their lives, he arrives with food he knows will go over well with Qian and will test Yuan’s ears (he comes down the stairs from his room to throw the food away after all). 

Which, let’s just acknowledge that when Yuan comes downstairs and takes all the alcohol and greasy food away, the moment Yuan approaches the coffee table, Qian looks back towards the TV screen pretending he is disinterested in the situation at hand. But his eyes give him away because he keeps glancing at Yuan when he thinks he can steal a second. And stealing is what he is trying to do because he keeps his head pointed directly towards the television, while looking for half a second at Yuan out of the corner of his eye when Yuan leans over to collect the food. After that moment, Qian does not look towards Yuan again until Yuan has turned around and Qian can stare at his back. 

It must be said. Chris is a phenomenal actor, because even without seeing his face, just the top of his head, you can kind of tell the mood that Qian is in as Yuan walks away, because he turns towards Yuan. We see Yuan look in Qian’s direction, Qian moves his head further back to look at San Pang, then looks away shaking his head. I acknowledge I’m probably reading too much in to it, but I can feel the incredulity radiating off of that head shake. 

Yuan heads up the stairs, and Qian looks towards the staircase only after Yuan has disappeared. His head movement is so much more obvious than his previous motions that it literally looks like Qian is breaking character, or like he was previously frozen and had only now been allowed to breathe. Qian’s eyes look up towards the staircase (towards Yuan’s absence), then downward as he thinks about his next move, then back towards San Pang, then down once more as he makes a decision about whether or not he wants to Start The Conversation. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul (my savior)

Qian here is trying to check that Yuan is out of earshot because he Will Not have the The Conversation about His Feelings if there is a chance that Yuan will know about it. 

With the heaviest of sighs, Qian gives San Pang an opening: “Did you buy those for me, or for him to throw away?”  Qian asks, and once again looks out of the corner of his eye, getting serious “Or for him to throw away?” 

And there is no doubt in my mind that it is the latter. San Pang bringing food that would trigger Yuan’s care instincts towards Qian, cause Yuan to intervene, and San Pang to bear witness to the tense and angry energy from Yuan towards Qian and force the issue. I think it’s partially why Qian does not deliberate for long in starting the conversation despite his hesitancy. 

San Pang scoffs and says in response “He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t care about you. Xiao Yuan can’t bear to leave you alone.” holds up the salad as a physical example of the care that Yuan has for Qian. 

gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Qian gives another giant exhale and looks contemplative. Something that I do find really important in good acting is the use of internal monologue. Qian always has something on his mind that he is sitting with. And the benefit of a scene like this is that the production team, and the camera trust the strength of their actors to hold the silence that settles over the room as Chris runs the gambit of Qian’s internal thoughts. 

Qian is well and truly sitting with the acknowledgement of Yuan’s feelings from San Pang. Maybe I am wrong because I am not an actor, but I do not have the kind of intentional and conscious control over my face to have the kinds of lip twitches that Chris has when Qian is thinking about Yuan’s care for him. They may have twenty seconds of silence on screen, but that does not mean the scene isn’t still in motion. There are so many little things happening in the span between San Pang’s comment about Yuan and his next reflection on sending Yuan away. 

“Xiao Yuan can’t bear to leave you alone,” Qian turns that over in his mind, to me it’s like he’s feeling the weight of it on his tongue, in his body. Qian looks up, and then around, and tosses the remote to the side, breathes heavily again. That feels like a begrudging acceptance of the statement. At the very least it is permission from Qian to proceed with the difficult conversation. 

“Before I had Yuan leave the country, I had been thinking I was doing the right thing for you two. But seriously, be honest, did you feel empty when Yuan was away?”

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Qian blinks twice and we cut to a flashback of a lovely little isolated frame of Qian feeling Yuan’s absence. We cut back to a close up of Qian’s face and his lip twitches. Which I love because it feels like an involuntary admission. We know Qian, we know that boy is stubborn and stoic, that he muscles through all the pain, that he does not let many people see his weaknesses. San Pang asks Qian if he felt empty and Qian does. not. move. He holds exactly the same position, lounging on the couch with his hand behind his head like he is unmoved, unaffected by San Pang’s question. But that little twitch of his lip gives him away. San Pang has struck a nerve. San Pang has forced Qian to hold a spotlight to the feelings he’s been trying to numb for the last four years. 

“Let me tell you something. When Lili and I first got together,” 

I don’t know about anyone else, but I snorted at the way Qian turned his head to look at San Pang in warning. We still have not seen Qian approve of that relationship. And San Pang knows that he’s staring at the precipice of some truly hot water, which is why he follows up with a “hear me out.” 

Qian relaxes and once again turns to look away from San Pang. From San Pang’s position very little of Qian’s face is visible. So Qian keeps holding a position that will give San Pang as little of a chance of reading him as possible. 

“I’ve struggled too. I…I always wondered what happiness could I bring her? Was I doing the right thing? How could I face you? And then…I felt it wasn’t right. Life is too short.”

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Again, I just have to say. CHRIS CHIU IS A PHENOMENAL ACTOR. He does not move a muscle, but you know Qian is locked in on what San Pang is saying because of how he moves his eyes. When San Pang says “life is too short” you can actually see the moment where Qian starts paying more attention to San Pang’s words, because he looks away from the TV and more downward in thought. 

“Getting hung up over it for years, would it be worth all the lost time?” 

Chris changes how he breathes here. You can see Qian take in a deep breath, but he holds it for a few seconds, he lets his nostrils flare, and then you see a large release of breath in the movement of Qian’s chest. This is really really getting to Qian. That nostril flare was not because he was breathing in. Because he’d already taken a breath. It was not because he was breathing out, because we see that happen a few seconds after the nostril flare, without his nose moving again. When Qian flares his nostrils, he is holding his breath, for a rather noticeable amount of time too. 

I love Chris because he embodies Qian so well, I can almost feel the way Qian is feeling internally in all the subtle little ways Chris plays with how Qian holds and releases tension and attention. 

“Who’s been good to me?”

Qian blinks twice, letting the question hit him, and only then does he finally release his breath. 

“Who put me before themselves?” 

San Pang looks at Qian after he finishes asking these hypothetical questions. But Qian is still looking ahead towards the TV, trying to come across as disengaged in the conversation as possible. And San Pang notices that, and that is why he continues to talk. Because Qian is hearing him, he’s listening and processing, but he isn’t engaged. He hasn’t put his body in to the conversation yet, he hasn’t responded to anything that San Pang has said to him. So San Pang keeps pushing. 

“A lot of things are only between you and Yuan. Unless you really have something against being with a guy, Yuan’s the only one who will be by your side, no matter what. Are you really not going to confront it?”

And I love that we pull away from that question to Qian looking like he is lying in a therapist’s chair. And Qian holds that position he has been maintaining throughout the conversation for a few seconds longer. The number of times he blinks the only indication that what San Pang has said is getting through and that Qian is mulling it all over. 

And only then, after San Pang has said all these things about Qian and Yuan’s relationship, in a way that is not judgemental or against the idea of these brothers becoming romantically involved. Only after San Pang has said that Yuan would be by Qian’s side no matter what does Qian set his jaw and push himself up in to a sitting position to continue the conversation. 

San Pang does not know what happened at Le’s gang beyond them being beaten up. So while it is highly likely that he is aware saying that Yuan would follow Qian anywhere is opening a can of worms, he does not understand how much ammunition he has just given Qian to talk about the danger that loving him too deeply has put Yuan in.

We do not give enough credit to film actors for maintaining continuity across scenes, because this man sits up and the first thing Chris has Qian do is massage the back of his head, where the pain of his blood clot sits. I could probably sit here all day trying to talk about all the little facial expressions he does as Qian sits up and starts preparing himself to be vulnerable with San Pang. But we can leave it as merely that. Qian is getting ready to talk to San Pang about some deeply personal stuff.

Personal stuff that Qian usually does not typically get in to. Like, San Pang says he knows what Qian went through, but I do not think he does. I do not think Qian has told him about the sexual assault, or San Pang would not have been trying to throw women at Qian. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“San Pang.” He pauses, and you can see the way he is still noodling, thinking about whether or not he wants to talk to San Pang about all this. And notably, he does not meet San Pang’s eye when he begins “Do you know…” Qian looks to the side, he frowns a little bit, he taps the palm of his hand against the top of the couch arm. It feels so childish and small of him in a way that really struck me. Qian is nervous, he is redirecting that energy in to his motions. In to the tapping, in to looking away, in to not having to reveal deep personal truths sitting that close to another soul. “Do you know what my biggest wish in life is? My biggest wish in life is for them to be happy,” 

Ohhhhhh how that breaks my heart. Qian has suffered so much, he has done so much, he has survived so much. If you were to ask me, I would bet that Qian has never been happy. He was forced at a very young age to take over the role of caregiver. He is both a brother and a father to Yuan and to Lili. And it is a testament to Qian’s love for his family, and the pain he is willing to put himself through that Lili is so bright and vibrant and naive about some of the workings of the world. I believe that Lili is happy. I believe that Qian has succeeded in at least that much. But that is not something he has had a chance to do. “Even if the world comes down, I’ll hold it up.” I have not forgotten that line from last episode. Qian would hold the world together if it meant ensuring his sister’s happiness. 

I do not know what it is, but there is something in the way Chris moves his mouth after he says “My biggest wish in life is for them to be happy,” that just absolutely destroys me, because he makes himself look like this is such a huge confession. 

“Mine is the same.” 

gif from @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“I just want them to grow up healthy and happy, because I’m their big brother.” Qian’s words become so breathy and he’s jabbing his finger straight in to the arm of the couch to drive home his point. These are the words that matter, this is the wish that matters. Qian’s feelings, Qian’s happiness have nothing to do with it. If he’s empty so be it, as long as his siblings are happy and healthy he will wound himself a thousand times over. His fucking face here, once again is just…When Qian takes in a breath, it is shaky. You can tell by the movement of his jaw, which looks like it is moving from side to side a little bit. As he approaches the end of his sentence, it feels like he is trying not to cry. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Yuan’s life might be summed up in two words: Wei Qian 

But Wei Qian’s life is summed up in five: 

Because I’m their big brother. 

“We grew up together. You think I don’t know how hard life’s been on you? But you know that Yuan’s feelings for you are different.” 

Qian looks away incredulously, and there is something else there too, I think. Something in the way that Qian’s eyebrows furrow, the way his mouth hangs open, the way he breathes out. I don’t know that he can really believe that this conversation is happening right now. That San Pang would let these words reach the light of day, that he would acknowledge them so openly, so matter-of-factly. 

“We’ve tried everything. We even sent him abroad for years. You were miserable every day. You love him and he loves you.”

We get more of Qian’s thinking face here as San Pang says these words, his mouth agape, his breath quickening, his eyes moving back and forth as he sorts through his own thoughts. 

But I need to acknowledge San Pang. He has such an intriguing connection to Qian and his family. San Pang has power of Qian, because his parents are Qian’s landlords. He and Qian have been best friends for a very long time, and even though I think it is true that San Pang likely knows the most about Qian’s life history, he does not know it all. He is still, in many facets of his life, acting like a kicked dog and backing down every time he tries to push back against Qian now that Qian knows that he and Lili are together. But when push comes to shove. When Qian’s happiness is impeded, when Qian’s health is at risk, he will tell Qian what Qian needs to hear. 

Whether or not Qian is truly having a hard time parsing through his feelings for Yuan doesn’t matter to me as much as Qian getting permission from multiple people to actually pursue the relationship. In acknowledging all of this, San Pang, the man who at one point told Yuan he could like anyone but Qian, the man that sent Yuan away for four years, is telling Qian that it is okay for Qian and Yuan to be together. He is the external judge that is finally accepting this taboo relationship, because he knows that if he does not show Qian that it is okay for him and Yuan to change from brothers to lovers, that neither Qian or Yuan will have any chance in hell of long term happiness. 

“Even if you’re not together, he’ll be sad to see you sad.” 

Off come Qian’s glasses. Shit is getting serious now. Qian rests his head on his hand, he looks away from San Pang. He really sits with it, you can see the emotions rising up in him, in the way he breathes, in the way his nostrils move, in the way his lips tremble for a second before he speaks. 

gif by @ueasking

“I’m scared, you know?” he turns to look at San Pang, and he sucks in a huge breath through his nose. It’s the first time we’ve seen him breathe so obviously that way throughout the entire scene. GOD, QIAN KILLS ME. 

“You haven’t even tried. What are you scared of?” 

And this is the fascinating thing for me, right? Outside of Yuan, San Pang is Qian’s best friend, but they do not have conversations like this that often. San Pang has tried time and again to start the more serious conversations, to act as an emotional support for Qian, but Qian brushes those conversations off as much as he can. San Pang knew the medical issues, he knows the history, he knows about the pieces of Qian’s life that Qian can’t hide. But he does not know everything, Qian does not usually let himself be this vulnerable with San Pang, hell he hasn’t even told San Pang everything that happened with Le’s gang. He’s about to, but that is only because he is trying to make a point. 

I think he is only having this conversation with San Pang, only admitting he is scared, and confused about his feelings for Yuan because he has literally no one else to talk to about it, and he’s starting to break down to the point that he can’t hold it all in by himself. And San Pang keeps pushing. 

“You know he went to find Le by himself that day?”

“I know.” 

“He was surrounded and beaten by six people, and in the end…”

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

He sucks in a breath. It takes him a moment to find the strength to form the words, so he forms a gun shape with his hand, which he points quickly a few times to fill the silence and the stillness in the room as he finds the shape of the admission on his tongue. He accentuates the severity of the memory with one final large motion. 

“...they pointed a gun at…” 

Ah, and there it is. The real reason behind Qian’s comment about wanting Lili and Yuan to be happy and healthy because he’s their big brother. Qian will not act on his feelings for Yuan, especially not right now because he is feeling guilty. Not just for sending Yuan away, not just because of the letter, but because Yuan’s unwavering loyalty, protectiveness, and love for Qian got Yuan hurt. Nearly got Yuan killed. Again. 

Qian’s whole world, his entire drive was shattered the day Yuan confessed, when Yuan told Qian that he was suffering. Yuan’s love for Qian was hurting him. But Qian just wants Yuan to be happy and healthy. The chance at having that world again was nearly destroyed with the realization that Yuan almost died abroad. His world was made complete again when Yuan returned home. And it was very nearly destroyed once more when Yuan walked in to that gang in hopes of protecting Qian. 

There is pain in witnessing the kind of love someone would die for. 

Qian can put himself in danger for the sake of his siblings, because from my perspective, Qian never thought his life had much worth. His formative years were filled with horrific abuse, assault under the guise of love, pain, suffering, doing terrible things just to survive. But this is all because he cannot see the forest through the trees, of the life that he has built, of the home that he has built, of the safety that he has built for his siblings. 

Yuan is not allowed to believe his life is less important than Qian’s because no one has ever thought that Qian’s life was more important than theirs. 

“Fuck, you- you’re telling me that now? Then, you…Right now, you…So, you’ve lost…”

Another quick shout out to San Pang, and moreso to the writing for San Pang that they don’t always let him have these brilliant speeches. He was able to navigate the beginning of this conversation because he knew mostly what he was walking in to, but with the reveal of Yuan and Qian’s near death experience, he is fumbling. 

The camera cuts back to Qian. I’d say Qian is listening to San Pang, but not fully present. Chris is doing so many things with his face in that moment. His nostrils are flaring, his lips are tightening like he’s trying to hold something back, he’s rocking his jaw from side to side. 

gif by @ueasking

“So, this isn’t a decision I can make so lightly.” He is almost crying now, he won’t cry, I think the only time we’ve seen him cry is when he was staring the prospect of Yuan’s death directly in the face during Russian Roulette and when he was hugging Yuan afterwards. But you can see the growing frustration and the threat of the tears very clearly on his face. Qian emphasizes the statement by once again jabbing his finger into the couch. 

“I have to consider the future.”  

“Do you want him to have a future without you?”

Let me tell y’all the way I collapsed under the weight of that question…it is no wonder Qian, notoriously quiet Qian, immediately shuts his mouth. I appreciate how much San Pang is willing to be the sacrificial lamb, because that is exactly the question that Qian needed to hear. That is exactly the reality that Qian, Yuan, Lili all face if Qian does not get his blood clot treated. A future without Qian in it. 

Qian needs to know exactly what he is doing to the people he loves by continuing to delay this medical treatment, but San Pang had to know that in asking it, it would only make Qian retreat back in to himself. Which is what Qian usually does. It was a miracle in it’s own right that San Pang was able to get Qian to voice this many of his concerns, to tell him the entire truth, to talk to him about the fear. 

gif by @ueasking

Qian closes his eyes, he lets the blow of the question absorb in to him, and he nods his head. Which, in my opinion, is a brilliant choice because the way he nods does not read to me as a confession that yes, Qian does want Yuan to have a future without him in it, and more so is an admission of defeat from Qian. But because we don’t get verbal confirmation either way, we do not, San Pang does not, Yuan does not get any confirmation one way or the other about what Qian is thinking. 

Qian just nods, lets the silence hang one moment longer, and kicks San Pang out. 

“Go home.” He says. But there is a more promising follow up “Let me think about it.” 

Which feels like the only thing Qian has really been doing for the last four years, but we’ve already established, that boy is about as moveable as a brick wall, and he and Yuan both serve to lose a lot if this goes wrong. 

And there you go @lurkingshan! 4103 words on the mouth twitch, nervous body language, and tears in this scene :D

[ah-bee-blogs]

I have been thinking about the shifting dynamic between Qian and Yuan all week. A ton of people have written really insightful posts about these two, and I can’t get them off my mind.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again and again: the tragic backstory is not used as a shock factor or just to make you sympathetic towards a character. It is ingrained into Qian and Yuan’s thoughts, behaviors, actions, and responses. And it contributes to their compelling relationship.

Qian is hesitant around intimacy of any kind. Yuan is eager to care for the person who saved him.

We’ve seen from the beginning how much of a caretaker Yuan is for Qian. The vast majority of intimate physical contact Qian accepts is from Yuan (and by intimate I don’t mean romantic. I mean familiar, personal, etc.).

Qian rarely ventures beyond surface level relationships with people. His experiences growing up left him in a constant state of survival. He focuses on work as a means of survival and doesn’t consider slowing down as an option.

We see this at work, where he is often separated from his coworkers and rarely interacting with them outside of a professional capacity. He often stays late and arrives early at the expense of his own wellbeing.

It’s Yuan who bridges the gap. Who asks coworkers to take care of his brother. Who makes Qian sleep and eat right. Who is there at work and at home ensuring that Qian won’t overwork and exhaust himself.

But their relationship is not one-sided. Qian takes care of Yuan as well, making sure he’s able to take advantage of academic opportunities and clubs and things that Qian never had a chance to partake in. He gives Yuan a life where survival is a guarantee, not something to earn.

Qian protects Yuan through hard work. Yuan protects Qian through tender care.

When Yuan is sent away to study abroad, the time skip works because it isn’t used at the very end of the series to jump to happily ever after. Too often, time skips force us to miss important character growth and leave us unsatisfied and wanting more. By placing the time skip towards the middle of the series and using it as an actual part of the story and character development, we are able to see how Qian and Yuan live during the separation and the impact it has on their relationship.

And their reunion is more than one scene before the credits roll. There’s still many episodes for them to keep learning and growing together.

Once Yuan returns, the line between them has shifted. Qian actively seeks out Yuan’s care in a way he never did before. He’s always watching Yuan, reaching out for him, and aware of his presence. He had always welcomed it, but the separation forced him to feel what the absence of Yuan’s care was like. He was miserable.

Yuan matured on his own and still knows that he loves Qian. Being away only confirmed what he already knew. And Qian is starting to realize that he loves Yuan too.

Yuan knows exactly where the boundary is between them, but he’ll let Qian be the one to break it down. They have complex relationship, and it is being respected, not rushed. Moments are earned, not pulled randomly from the trope bucket.

[ichigokeks]

This scene was so significant and I haven't seen anyone talk about it. Sand knows about Ray's excessive drinking but not how bad it really is. In this moment he begins to understand. The brilliance of Sand immediately stopping while pouring the drink when Ray said that his mother drank herself to death. There was more than simple shock about this revelation. It was the realisation that Ray is doing the same. Sand looks at Ray and back at the alcohol because he understands so much more than what Ray said. He sees that Ray is in so much pain and tries to drown it all out in alcohol. Sand sees how Ray's immediate reaction to the fight with Boston is to open the liquor bottle.

[fanfictionroxs]

The way this fandom looks at Mew is exactly the way Boston seems to view him. They are obsessed with his virginity and his bare minimum standards for a potential partner and they seem to love villainising him in what only seems to be a desperate attempt to hide an insecure rotten core. But Mew seems to be, in actuality, a decent guy (if not slightly naive) who genuinely loves his friends and wants them to find love too. And he wants to find a guy for himself who will match his own standards. A very normal thing to desire for anyone who wants to date.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Utsukushii Kare master post

With Utsukushii Kare: Eternal becoming available on streaming in Japan and rumors of international streaming distribution on the horizon, I thought this might be a good time to do a roundup post of all of my meta writing on the series so far. There's quite a bit of it. Between the complexity of the psychological themes in this series and my capacity for hyperfocus, I ended up with a lot to say.

In case it doesn't go without saying, this post is subject to change as I continue to post on this topic.

The psychological paradoxes of Utsukushii Kare

This is a series of posts (the current plan is to write three installments) about what it says on the tin: paradoxical psychological dynamics in Utsukushii Kare. These are things about the characters that may seem contradictory at first but can be accounted for by digging deeper into some psychological concepts. These posts are focused on the series (both seasons) but will draw from the movie and from the novel and related stories when they illustrate points about the series.

Part 1: Covert grandiosity and finding status through idealization - A pretty deep dive into 1) the subtle ways Hira shows that while his self-image can be highly negative in some ways, in other respects he feels superior to others and 2) how by elevating Kiyoi’s status and humbling himself in comparison, Hira attains a different kind of status.

An addendum of sorts to part 1: Hira's parents and his self-defeating tendencies - Some guesswork about how Hira's parents could have contributed to his self-defeating personality, with some further discussion of specific self-defeating strategies he uses in his relationship with Kiyoi and elsewhere.

Utsukushii Kare through the lens of pursuer-distancer dynamics and related psychological concepts:

The pursuer-distancer dyad & how it applies to the world of BL - a primer on this psychological concept and how it applies to BL generally, with a brief reference to how this concept applies to Utsukare (also touches on Semantic Error and talks in detail about an example from To My Star 2). This one isn't super focused on Utsukushii Kare but is pretty de rigeur for understanding my UK posts on this topic.

Paradoxical roles; or, I think I finally figured out the pursuer-distancer dynamic in Utsukushii Kare - This post comes after some of the posts listed below but I recommend reading it first as this is really where (I think) I cracked the code on this aspect of the story.

Pursuer-distancer roles & attachment style in Utsukushii Kare, Part 1: Hira - In-depth discussion of Hira's role in the pursuer-distancer dyad, his attachment style, and his personality

Pursuer-distancer roles and attachment style in Utsukushii Kare Part 2: Kiyoi - In-depth discussion of Kiyoi's role in the pursuer-distancer dyad, his attachment style, and his personality

Re-evaluating pursuing & distancing in Utsukushii Kare season 1 - super detailed post working out my thoughts about pursuing and distancing in season 1

On the way Sakai Mai (the series' director) uses seme left, uke right framing and its significance in BL and other Japanese media:

Using an example from the s2e1 with the girl who hits on Hira at a party (via a reblog of a gifset from @nanons)

On the way Sakai flips Hira's and Kiyoi's position in the frame in two versions of the same scene and what it tells us about its significance

How the persistent/cute trope plays out in Utsukushii Kare season 2, plus related overanalyses of the big season 2 finale kiss:

The persistent and the cute (how "persistent" and "cute" are code words with specific meanings in BL/yaoi/other drama and manga genres/Japanese culture more broadly)

Analyzing the season 2 finale kiss in light of seme left/uke right framing and the persistent/cute trope (in a reblog of a gif post by @nanons)

Reblogging @bl-bracket to lobby for the season 2 finale kiss, with more overanalysis

Fragrance nerd discussion:

This bittersweet fragrance - on the significance of osmanthus/tea olive in Utsukushii Kare season 2, with additional information on the possible significance of the fragrance of osmanthus and perfumes that are either osmanthus soliflores or feature prominent osmanthus notes

Posts on specific season 2 episodes:

initial thoughts about S2e1

Additional (informal) thoughts on s2e1

S2e1 rundown

Hira's incongruous/misaligned affect at the end of s2e1

S2e2 rundown

on S2e2, including pursuer-distancer dynamics and seme left, uke right

Utsukushii Kare S2E4: “face me straight on” (mostly discussing relationship dynamics pointed out in topic-specific metas)

on Utsukushii Kare: Eternal:

Kiyoi and Anna: on Kiyoi’s friendship with Anna and its significance for his personal growth

[raelle-writing]

Phee is part of the reason Non disappeared

I noticed this recently and it just solidified on rewatching the show. The reason that Non was made to disappear was because Uncle Joe was convinced Non was a spy. And the two reasons he names for thinking Non is a spy are:

The two reasons he listed are because Non was able to repay the thousands of baht he'd taken from a client... and because he got the case from the police against him dropped.

And who is the reason that Non got that case dropped?

Phee. Phee interfered in the case and implicated himself, making his father drop the case against all of the teens involved. All to protect Non. But in doing that act of protection, Phee actually put Non in more danger...

There's probably something to be read into this. Phee's style of love being all wrong for Non. The two of them making things worse for each other instead of better.

But honestly mostly I just find it tragic... I hope Phee never knows what part he played in Non's disappearance. He likely carries enough guilt from his final words to Non already.

[ranchthoughts]

Hi! I'm working on a large stats project about the colour coding of superheros in a/b/o fics, and someone pointed me in the direction of BL as a possible similarity. You've written a Iot of cool stuff about BL symbolisms before, so I thought I'd reach out in case you have any insight.

I admit, I know next to nothing about BL, and while I do know the terms seme/uke have gone out of fashion, have you noticed any particular colour coding of characters in similar dynamics? In superhero a/b/o, for example, those in yellow, orange, or metalics are more likely to be alphas, where as those in brown, purple, and pink, are more likely to be omegas.

No pressure to reply, but if you have any thoughts (or know where to find some), I'd love to hear it!

Hi!

While I love data and analysis, I am not the person to come to for colour coding dynamics. You want @respectthepetty, BL Tumblr's premier colour coding expert and the true master when it comes to anything colour related.

What a fascinating question!

[absolutebl]

BL & Critical Analysis

Pop culture critique & a how to do it... or something

This meaty question came from the lovely @huachengeye Thank you!

Codicil: I do not get paid for pop culture critique (although I once wrote book reviews professionally, long story). So I’m entirely a dilettante. 

The Question!

Q1: Can you can shed some light on your process (of critical analysis)

This is a little like training your eye to edit a document (I bet you can tell that's not one my strong points). Or training your mind to look at data and data collection in terms of the results it may yield and what the initial survey says about the questioner's bias (or can bias results).

First, I have to ask... 

Do you really want to train your eye to critique?

Because it will become a lot harder to immerse yourself in a piece of media if you constantly feel obligated to step back mentally and think about it from various perspectives. 

In other words, you may enjoy BL, or all live action dramas, LESS if you try to think about them critically.

I have an intimate who is a pretty well known writer. She mostly writes humorous fiction. She's open about the fact that this means every time she laughs, she stops and thinks about why that happened and whether is could be used in her prose. She never gets to be fully absorbed by narrative ever anymore because her critical eye is always turned on, especially for the written word.

What you may sacrifice for critique, is a certain level of childish wonder. 

I’m not sure i would necessarily advise doing this. 

My Process 

My process is essentially now visible in this blog. As I watch a show I take a few notes on it (which show up in the weeklies) and then at the end I go through those notes, consolidate, try to be witty about it, and write up a review.

The review usually has something about:

characters, tropes, plot 

narrative & story structure & pace

how this BL fits in with the greater BL genre & history

any thoughts I have on the quality of the production, acting, and/or directing 

my own personal feelings about the show

Thus my reviews tend to take into account several criteria.

For #1-2 I have a background in lit crit as an undergrad (and, like I said, I did once review books for a living) so these are kinda ingrained in me. I’m working on seeing the influence of soap operas, fan fic, and non-western story structures as critically valid, so these are the things I’m actively learning more about the most these days. 

For #3: How does this fit into the history of BL? Since I’ve made it point to watch pretty much all BLs, I feel like I’m set up to think and talk about this. AKA the spreadsheet made me do it. But since I also have anthropology in my academic history, I’m very interested in how a BL represents for its country’s BL oeuvre. I try to judge KBLs against other KBLs (and Kdramas) and look for patterns and trends in how that country’s interpretation of what it “means to be BL” shift over time. 

For #4: my IRL job is tangential to the entertainment industry so that’s accidentally trained my eye for film. I don’t know that I like this part about myself, but it’s happened whether I like it or not. And I don’t have a proper background in film critique. 

Final #5: will discuss further in a bit.

Suggestion? Establish A Rating System 

Come up with your own personal 10 star (or 5 star) rating system.

Write it down. Don’t be afraid to modify or adjust it. It’s yours, your tastes change, nothing is set in stone. 

Pick one ideal example BL for each category that you’re very familiar with for your reference point. Then you can ask yourself, after you’ve watched a new one, whether you liked it more, less, or about the same as that show. (relative rating, similar to grading on a curve) 

I change my examples regularly as my taste changes and as new BLs are added. The bar gets shifted, so to speak. 

My Rating System 

Your reasoning for rating a BL will be different from mine, but here’s mine as an example. 

(Also I never feel bound by this, sometimes I give a show a 8/10 just because it feels like that’s what it deserves.) 

10/10 - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED - my favorite precious squee!, faithful to tropes, happy ending, good chemistry, few flaws, high rewatch potential, makes me happy, examples: Semantic Error, Until We Meet Again 

9/10 ABSOLUTELY RECOMMENDED - loved it and good rewatch potential but probably a few pacing issues or one big flaw, still made me feel good/comforted, examples: Cherry Magic, Bad Buddy

8/10 - RECOMMENDED - some concerns around tropes (like dub con) or story structure/filming but still satisfies as BL, moved me emotionally, rewatchable in parts or not rewatchable but important, examples: Love By Chance, Between Us

7/10 - RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS - i.e. isn’t quite BL, convoluted, not strictly HEA, too short/long, and/or chemistry issues, may have impact on other BL fans but not me (or on me but not others) examples: Make it Right, KinnPorsche

6/10 - WORTH WATCHING BUT FLAWED - probably around the ending or in narrative structure/cohesion or censorship, disappointed expectations, unlikely to rewatch, examples: My Gear and Your Gown, Love Mechanics

5/10 - WATCH IF YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO - but don’t expect much, it’s a total hot mess interesting only because it's BL and I'm probubly pretty conflicted about it, examples: Advance Bravely, Even Sun

4/10 - FATALLY FLAWED - but still basically BL, however... do we want to support this kind of behaviour? examples: Precise Shot, Work from Heart

3/10 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM WATCHING AND NEITHER DOES IT, just seriously why did this get made? examples: Blue of Winter, Physical Therapy 

2/10 - IT'S DEPRESSING - they killed/tortured/etc the gay, save yourself, examples: The Effect, HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count

1/10 - IT'S AWFUL, I WATCHED IT SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO, has all the flaws of 4-3 plus something even more egregious, personally triggering, example: My Bromance series, Round Trip to Love

dnf - self explanatory, but usually I drop because I feel like the narrative is already a #3 and/or headed for a #2 or #1 and then I’m told later that is went there, example: My Tempo

I hand out the fewest 1s & 10s. The most 8s and 7s. Everything else is pretty much on the bell curve you’d expect. 

Q2: What resources do you use to build your reviews?

I listen to a lot of pop culture review critiques in podcast form, often about stuff I'd never watch. But I like the way professionals talk about these things, even if they aren't MY things or don't jive with my personal opinions.

Mark Kermode is my favorite film critic and we like the opposite stuff, but the way he talks about film is very interesting to me. His podcast mini series on the "business of film" is probably one of my must listens. For his main podcast (Kermode & May’s Take), I always skip over all the interviews, people talking about their own films bore me to death (especially if they are actors on the promo junket, save me please). His rants are some of my favorites of all time (try Pirates 3 or Iron Man 2). Someone else’s list. 

I also like Pop Culture Happy Hour from NPR because it brings in multiple perspectives and varied cast of critics who often disagree and the "things making me happy" is a grab bag of fun.

The Bechdel Cast is a feminist critique podcast from Hollywood insiders and they do recaps as well as critique, and it's always fascinating to me to hear what people latch onto in a narrative. However, I only listen if I am already familiar with the film they are discussing.

My background is in anthropology and I've lived all over the world so that helps train me to think in terms on culture's impact on narrative as well as linguistics and so forth. As a personality I’m also quite reserved and deadpan, grumpy, stiff, strict, and kinda cold. I think I gravitate to being an observer and an outsider which helps if you want to analysis stuff. Which is not a claim to objectivity, I don't think there can be objective analysis of pop culture.

But it does make me pause to think, "that made me FEEEL something" why? What am I feeling? How did the actor do that? The script? The direction?

These shows are meant to entertain, whether they are successful or not, for me (and what "successful entertainment" means to me) and how they are doing it is the first question I always ask myself.

Q3: What are the things you look out for when watching a BL?

I ask myself a lot of things I would when looking at any piece of art. Or even when shopping for clothing or a new car or reading a book.

Did I like it? Why did I like it?

Did it move me? Why did it move me? 

Did I react? How did I react? To which bits? Why? 

What tropes and narrative beats was it using to manipulate me and my expectations? Did it meet those expectations? The promises it set up at the start? Did it fulfill the watcher-contract during the course of the narrative? 

Did the filming successfully telegraphy the journey I was meant to take? Did the actors? 

But also... would I rewatch it? Am I tempted to do so the moment it ends? For which bits?

The statistician in me wants to point out that these questions say a lot more about me and my relationship to art than it does about the art itself.

For example

Did I like it? Means... I'm motivated by pure taste and personal preference and complete subjectivity. This is in part formed by a person's background, life state, whole experience with culture and pop culture and society, family, friends. Taste is also just "that" bit. You know, that bit? Likes lemon deserts over chocolate ones, gravities to spicy food, favorite color is green, decorates with potted plants. Just my taste is my taste. I like what I like. 

Yes I have some criteria that subconsciously come into play: I look for clever story structure, subversion or manipulation of tropes, parody, not hitting any of my dislikes (like dub con). But also I have other biases impacting whether I like it (like physical appearance) which I can try to check but usually can't fix. (For example GMMTV's Gawin/Fluke looks so much like an ex of mine I really struggle with his screen presence.)

Did I like it?

The fact that this is the first question I ask myself also should tell you I'm motivated by the emotion these narratives engender. I want them to transport me and move me. I my case I want to feel comforted and satisfied and happy. The ones the make me feel discomfort, especially for too long in the narrative, I am simply going to like less. Sometimes less than I feel like I should (see my struggles with masterworks like ITSAY, YNEH, or The 8th Sense). The very BLs that most professional critics would tout as the best examples of the genre for a wider audience often turn out to be the ones I struggle with the most. (They are also, fortunately for me, the least representative of the bulk of the genre.)

In other words there is ALSO a part of me that genuinely likes and enjoys the trashy stuff. Even the trash I trash watch.

So I would advise you to come up with your own questions. Ask yourself what you want from these shows when you watch them. 

What motivates you? 

Why are you watching them at all? 

What brings you joy from an art or entertainment experience? 

What do you want them to do for you? To you?

You are going to experience them (and therefore analyze them) from this perspective whether you like it or not. So understand yourself is paramount. It's about your relationship to the art, not the art itself.

If I were to give you an assignment I would say start with one BL you really enjoyed, perhaps not your favorite but one level down. And then do one you really did not enjoy. And think about why... 

Happy analyzing! 

(source)

[rabbiitte]

Sight vs. Senses: Exploring perception in Only Friends.

Because many people seem to be confused by this scene and don't know how to interpret it or simply classify it as “creepy”, I have decided to share my interpretation of how this scene uses cinematographic techniques and symbolism to influence the visual and general narrative of the series. Let's talk about Top and Mew's relationship, cinematography, visual narrative, symbolism, cinematographic techniques and the difference between vision-based perception and sense-based perception as inherent concepts in Top and Mew's relationship.

1. An introduction to cinematography, narrative and the use of visual metaphors.

Cinematography is a central element when creating movies or series, it can be used creatively to support the narrative and emotions of the story. At the same time, it contributes to create a visual narrative through the choice of camera angles, framing, camera movements and composition of images.

Visual narrative: refers to the way stories are told using primarily visual elements, such as images, composition, colors, symbolism, and camera movements, rather than relying primarily on dialogue or writing. It's about transmitting information, emotions and messages through what is seen on the screen in movies, television series, photographs or any other visual medium.

Visual narrative uses visual elements to convey emotions, themes and meanings that affect the perception of a story. Among the visual elements that are used to enrich the narrative we find visual metaphors.

Visual metaphors are visual elements in a cinematic work that represent abstract concepts, emotions, or themes. These metaphors can be subtle or prominent and are used to enrich the narrative and understanding of the story.

With this concept in mind, we can say that the date in the restaurant is a visual metaphor to address the concept of perception.

Perception is the process by which a person interprets and integrates the sensory information they receive from their environment to form an understanding of the world around them. It involves the ability to take sensory data, such as what you see, hear, smell, touch, or taste, and turn them into meaningful and understandable experiences.

In the restaurant, diners cannot see the food they're consuming until the lights are turned on at the end of the meal. This reflects a lack of literal vision, as they cannot use their sense of sight to identify food. Due to the lack of vision, diners must rely on their other senses, such as taste and smell, to experience food. This scene highlights the importance of trusting feelings and intuitions rather than relying solely on what can be seen with the eyes.

2. Narrative, cinematographic techniques and perception.

Another element that enriches visual narrative and, finally, narrative in general are cinematographic techniques. Visual narrative can use a variety of cinematic and visual techniques to guide the audience through a story, create atmosphere, reveal characters and their emotions, and convey underlying themes or messages. For example, the moment when Top asks Mew to use his senses and the camera focuses on Mew's face is a cinematic technique called “close up” and the following moment when the camera loses focus is a cinematic technique called “generalized blurring”.

Close up in cinematography and photography refers to the moment in which the camera gets very close to the subject, object or face of a character, filling most of the frame with that element. The main objective of a close up is to highlight details and facial expressions, allowing the viewer to concentrate on those elements with greater clarity and focus.

Generalized blurring in cinematography is a powerful tool in the hands of filmmakers to enrich the visual and emotional experience of a film. In this technique, the entire image is deliberately blurred or out of focus. It's used for various purposes like to set a specific mood in a scene or to represent the emotional or psychological states of the characters, among other uses.

In the restaurant scene, these techniques are used to concentrate on Mew's emotional or psychological state after Top asked him to use his senses and not his sight to perceive the food. Based on these cinematic techniques, we can infer that something important is happening in Mew's mind. In fact, judging by what happens after the scene, we can infer that something very important happened in the restaurant and that meant a change in Mew's attitude. What changed? The way Mew perceives Top.

3. Vision-based perception and sense-based perception.

In EP1, Mew told Top that he knew who was honest (about dating him) because “his sense was always right”. Basically, Mew is able to see people's intentions and, ultimately, their essence through sense-based perception.

Sense-based perception: this form of perception involves all human senses, such as sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste. It's based on the information captured through these senses to form a complete and rich understanding of the environment and people. Sense-based perception can be deeper and more accurate than other types of perception, as it involves multiple sensory modalities.

However, this isn't the type of perception that Mew has been using with Top until now. Mew is usually extra careful and suspicious around Top. His behaviour is usually guided by the mental image (of someone considered promiscuous) he formed of Top based on his immediate appearance. This type of perception is more related to what can be seen immediately and, finally, it's a type of perception related to the use of sight.

Vision-based perception focuses primarily on visual information. This is the most common form of perception in humans and refers to the ability to observe, interpret and understand the world through sight. Visual information is important, but it's often used along other senses to gain a complete understanding. In real life, things aren't what they seem at first glance and what it's seen doesn't always reflect the underlying reality.

An example of how Mew is usually guided by vision-based perception with Top can be found in EP2. When Top tells Mew about his trauma, Mew's immediate reaction is to laugh and not believe it. This is because what Top is telling Mew doesn't correspond to the mental image that Mew has formed of Top. The fact that Top can't sleep alone doesn't correspond to what Mew perceives based on his sight of Top.

Because visual-based perception is limited and must be used along other senses, this type of way of perceiving isn't enough to perceive the complete reality or, in this case, Top's essence.

Mew never stopped perceiving Top based on the apparent, based on the observable. We know this because Mew has never been around Top without his glasses (except in the water sports and shower scene) until EP5, episode in which Mew finally spends time with Top when he has broken glasses. The change in Mew's perception coincides with the episode in which his glasses break, coincidence? No, symbolism.

Mew's glasses: In this context, glasses could represent limited perception or distorted vision of reality.

In EP5, Top asks Mew three times to perceive him based on all his senses. All these times, Mew can't wear his glasses or Top suggests him to stop wearing them.

Situation #1: At the café, Top tells Mew that he wants to be clearly seen (although Mew can see him clearly while wearing his glasses) and recommends him to try a surgery. This time, Top suggests that Mew should stop wearing his glasses so he can perceive his essence/true self, while being guided by his sense-based perception.

Situation #2: At the restaurant, Top reminds Mew of what he said in the bookstore about sense-based perception and asks him to be guided by it. This is, again, a request to see Top as he really is and not based on a mental image.

That's why everything becomes blurry, it involves ignoring appearances or what's obvious in front of your eyes. Sense-based perception involves seeing Top's essence (and the affection he truly feels for Mew) and ignoring that which is easily perceptible to vision such as signs of lies. In this case, the generalized blur is a metaphor for saying that love is blind (in a cheesy way).

When Mew starts perceiving Top based on his senses, he loses control and shows how in love he really is with Top. Even all the people who were in the restaurant disappear because Mew and Top are not focusing on what can be perceived by sight, they're focusing on seeing the essence (and the love they feel for each other). This plane isn't on the same plane that the diners are, therefore they disappear.

I guess you can also say that people disappear because Mew is in love and he doesn't care about others, but I'd say it's more than that. It's a matter of perception. It has nothing to do with seeing, it has to do with looking and perceiving the essence of the person in front. It's not a passive activity, it's an active activity that requires collecting information based on all the senses.

No, I don't think it's a dream.

Situation #3: Before Top and Mew have their first time, Mew takes off his glasses and Top asks if he can see him. However, we know Mew can't see clearly without his glasses, so Top is actually asking him if he can perceive him based on his senses (if he can see his intentions and his deep love for him, that's why he keeps telling him that he loves him. He tries to supplant the sense of sight with the sense of listening).

4. The end of vision-based perception.

If we are guided by the idea that Mew's glasses are a symbolism that limits his perception to a vision-based perception, with no glasses Mew will be able to see clearly. Mew will see through Top's lies and that's why in EP5, Mew gets rid of his glasses and discovers Top's infidelity.

As you may have noticed, the restaurant scene is the climax of a topic that has been worked on, in relation to Top and Mew, since the beginning of the series. The restaurant scene marks a milestone in the relationship of both of them and the turning point in the narrative, this thanks to the way in which metaphors and cinematographic techniques shape the narrative. Clearly, this is one of my favorite scenes in the entire series and I think it has a high level of complexity and interpretation.

If you want to read more of my analyses, you can read my Mew analysis here. Stay tuned, I'll do a Ray analysis soon.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Parallels in Unknown Episode 9

God I love the physicality in this show.

I will preface by saying once more that Kurt is doing a great job in his role as Yuan, especially lately with all the pushing and prodding Yuan has been doing to Qian, but I once again find myself having to highlight the masterful performance of Chris Chiu.

Wei Qian is a very tense and quiet character in a show that uses voice overs sparingly. This means that Chris has a very difficult job in conveying Qian’s inner monologue through body language alone. Without uttering a word we know what Qian is thinking; what he’s feeling; we understand the depth, the weight of his care for the people he loves.

For Episode 9, I want to talk about parallels. Parallels and how effectively Unknown is able to use them to bring maximum emotional devastation:

gif by @ueasking

We open with a flashback to Lili and Yuan as kids, to Lili trying to get out of going to school because she is worried the world is going to end. We open with a line from Qian:

“Even if the world comes down, I’ll hold it up.” 

Y’all. That line hit me like a 16 wheeler, holy fuck. This is the summary of Qian’s life, of his goals, of his struggle. Qian’s never had the luxury to live in a world that wasn’t falling apart. But he’s spared Yuan and Lili (especially Lili) from the trauma and the abuse and the pain he has suffered. He is already holding everyone’s worlds together, and that line struck me as the deepest and most beautiful profession of love. And of course, because he is acting as a parent to these kids he has to follow it with an empty threat.

The kids head off to school, but before the door closes behind Yuan he turns around, he looks Qian right in the eye and he says

“Ge, if the world comes down, we’ll hold it up together.”

gif by @ueasking

Double homicide. A perfect expression of Yuan’s devotion to Qian, Qian who very rarely experiences reciprocity. Qian spent a large portion of his life being uplifted and supported by the people around him: Le-ge, San Pang and his family, Xiong this is true, but for Qian most of those feel like or literally are debts to be repaid. He said it to Le-ge in this episode “I will pay you back everything I owe”, in Episode 1, Qian tells San Pang he’ll pay him back when San Pang covers his bills, Xiong helped kick start Qian’s career, but he’s in business with Xiong now so Qian’s success is Xiong’s success. Yuan is the only person to whom Qian owes nothing, and Yuan is the only person who is trying to care for him back without being owed.

Because this show has been looping in my head, I’ve been thinking a lot about trauma. The first scene we see of Qian and Yuan together, Yuan holds out a metal pipe in defense and Qian has an immediate flashback to his own childhood and the abuse he had suffered. Qian immediately establishes a connection to Yuan that he never will with Lili because Qian was incredibly successful in shielding Lili from the harshness of the world. We don’t see the trauma Yuan must have experienced as a kid, but we get the snippets, the ties in to Qian’s experiences, the illness, the hunger. Yuan has suffered, and Qian has saved him, and Yuan understands the burden that comes with care. Yuan is devoted to Qian, Yuan does not want Qian to hold everything he’s carrying all by himself.

Yuan has always been like this, and will always be like this for Qian.

Despite the overarching structural problems I had with this episode, I do think there was a strong thematic thread in paralleling space and physical touch all the way through.

The Letter

Qian discovers this letter in a box under Yuan’s bed. 

“In my life, I’ve been driven by a deviant and sharp obsession” 

Qian tenses up, taking in a deep breath, his eyes wandering away from the page. He literally has to mentally prepare himself to continue reading Yuan’s words 

“Looking back, there’s nothing else. But if my life were to cease all of a sudden-” Qian barely moves his head to finish reading, instead just casts his eyes downward.

“-not seeing you one last time would be my greatest regret” 

Qian moves the paper downward, and he looks away. Legitimately, Qian looks at that letter for as short a time as he physically possibly can. 

I’m mentioning the letter because the face that Qian makes when he is reading it is a recurring character throughout this entire episode. Because we see that face again almost immediately when Qian is at H.O.T.. That man is fully dissociating in his meeting, his mind is not at work at all. He is a statue sitting there with exactly the same face he was making when he read the first few words of Yuan’s letter. And it is not until everyone else but San Pang has walked away that he breaks from that thought paralysis and turns to get San Pang’s opinion. Dissatisfied with San Pang’s response and knowing that Yuan was hiding something from him and has not responded to his phone calls, Qian seeks additional answers. 

Rescuing Yuan

In Episode 1, Qian figures out Yuan is in trouble because he gets a phone call from Yuan’s teacher saying that Yuan applied for a leave of absence, he freaks out and goes straight to the pool hall where he barges in yelling and fighting his way to Le’s door. The second he gets in the room, he barrels straight towards Hu and grabs him by the collar. Qian has to be held back by multiple people in order to stop him from laying waste to everyone there, and the second Le-ge tells his people to let Qian go, Qian starts running straight to Le to fight him and has to be held back once more. 

While Qian is being detained, he is looking around wildly, face a perfect picture of rage and desperation. When Yuan is brought out and Qian is released, he runs straight to Yuan and pulls him in to a hug and they start to walk away, arms linked to each other’s backs in support and connection. 

And it sticks as such a vivid memory in my head that I had a visceral reaction to seeing how Qian has changed over time. Because in Episode 9 he knows something is wrong, you can see the worry behind his eyes when he tells San Pang that Yuan hasn’t answered his phone. And San Pang leaves him sitting there, still mulling over everything. When Qian enters the restaurant to talk to Le he appears calm (though there is very clearly a storm brewing inside him), he enters slowly. He is tense, and frustrated, and trying to contain it all. He is trying to keep himself calm. This is a very political conversation. He pours beer for Le-ge, he drinks with him, but you can feel it in the way that Qian sits that his every thought is like a clock just ticking away until something bad happens to Yuan. 

“Le-ge can I ask a favor of you?” 

“What favor?”

“Help me find Yuan,”

“Are you asking me to help you find him or hand him back?” Le asks bemused and we get a jaw twitch from Wei Qian. Qian is seething, but he knows how Le operates and he’s older and wiser now so he can’t just enter the scene beelining towards Le with his fist ready for a face. As a child he was willing to fight Le, as an adult he has recognized Le more as an unfortunate ally who has all the power. Le and Qian roll up to the scene and we get a far more familiar Qian the second he exits the car and starts sprinting towards Yuan and immediately decks Hu right in the face to get him away from Yuan.

Again he tries to fight everyone that comes between them, again he is detained, being held back by multiple people, again Le and Hu fight while Qian is waiting to be released so he can run to Yuan. Again Le puts an ultimatum on their freedom, before it was a boxing match, now it is Russian Roulette.

When they are set free, Qian immediately runs to Yuan and grabs him like he did when they were running away. The way he looks at everyone when he has Yuan in his arms is exactly the same way he looked at everyone when he was reunited with Yuan the first time Yuan was taken from him by the gang. 

It’s all the same, the way they walk out together, the way they are made to pause, the way Qian’s face is snarling when he’s trapped. It’s all there.   

Russian Roulette

Now, we are all about reciprocity here so we get another really tragic parallel between the boxing scene in Episode 1 and the Russian Roulette scene in Episode 9. 

In Episode 1, it is Qian that is made to play Le’s game alone: win three boxing matches, he and Yuan get to leave the gang. But Le doesn’t let Yuan off scot-free here either, forcing him to stand there and watch Qian get beat to shit over and over and over again for Yuan’s sake. And we get Yuan being the one to call out to Qian. 

“Ge, stop fighting, let’s go home!” Yuan yells, and when Qian wins we see Yuan wiping tears away, and then screaming after Qian when his opponent sneaks up behind him. When Qian and Yuan are alone together after the fight, Yuan is crying and when Qian tells him not to cry he says: 

“Sorry. You wouldn’t have been in this fight if it hadn’t been for me,” which in this case is true for reasons outside of Yuan’s control. The things Qian has done for Le are informed by the care he has for Lili and Yuan, but Yuan is not himself the cause of the problem. 

In Episode 9 however….he walks right into the gang as if that is going to do anything, and has to be rescued by Qian. This time, though Yuan does not (or at least has yet to) say it, Qian would not have been in this fight with Hu and the rest of the gangsters if it wasn’t for Yuan. 

Similarly to Episode 1, Le-ge gives an ultimatum to their release, Russian Roulette. Where before we had three boxing matches, now we have three bullet chambers. And Yuan is old enough to protect Qian now, so Yuan volunteers to go first, and we get a role reversal. Before, Yuan had to watch, crying, as Qian fought and bled. Now, Qian is the one sobbing, having to watch Yuan get a gun to the head. Yuan looks at him and mouths “wo ai ni” and Qian immediately closes his eyes because cannot look at Yuan when the trigger is pulled, just as Yuan tried to look away when Qian was getting his skull bashed in in the boxing ring. 

Yuan gets tortured right back though when it is Qian’s turn to have the trigger pulled, all we hear over the background music is this desperate and broken pleading scream from Yuan to let Qian go. When the game is over and Qian is released he runs straight to Yuan and pulls him up stating “Let’s go home, we’re going home,” another direct parallel to Episode 1. 

THE HUG

Alright, my favorite devastating blow of the evening, the hug in Episode 9 and how it parallels the hug in Episode 1. Because there are two levels to this: 

photo of the photobook that @thisonelikesaliens was kind enough to send me. gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

The hug that Episode 9 more explicitly parallels, in my mind, is the hug that Qian gives Yuan right when they are reunited. He has that boy tucked in his arms, and is holding the back of Yuan’s head with his hand. It’s a very quick moment, but the intensity of Qian’s motion, the strength of his hug, the emotional core of that hug is evident in just the briefest of seconds and matches the intensity, the strength, and the emotional core of the hug in Episode 9. 

gif by @ueasking

Then you get a secondary parallel with the hug between Qian and Yuan after the boxing match, though it’s not as much of a 1:1 visual as the brief hug above. This is mostly in the changing heights, Yuan and Qian are on relatively the same level here. And you get the hand to the back of the head as a comforting thing which Qian is also doing to Yuan in today’s hug. 

In Episode 9, they are walking back home, it is dark, it is quiet. Qian stops dead in his tracks, the same look on his face as when he read the letter. He turns to face Yuan and clenches his fist because he needs that extra strength, it is taking everything in him to follow through on what comes next and then he just grabs Yuan and pulls him into a hug that parallels the hug they shared when Yuan was younger. Qian hugs Yuan like he is that small, scared boy even though Qian is now so much shorter than Yuan and Yuan is so much braver than he used to be.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

But unlike the hugs in Episode 1, I don’t think this one is intended to comfort Yuan. I think this time, it is Qian reaching out to Yuan for his own comfort. Because in Episode 1 it is Yuan who cries in to the forehead touch, in Episode 9 it is Qian who burrows his face into Yuan’s neck as hard as he can while his face contorts in sobs. This is not necessarily a parallel, but it is the moment of the episode that ruined my life so I needed to make sure that I took you all down with me with a reminder of this scene and a gif. Oh also, they hug in front of a giant pile of wood like they do with the forehead touch in Episode 1 because they HATE US. 

Fishing Conversation v. Letter Conversation

The two big conversations that Qian and Yuan have this episode are really interesting to me because of how they play with space. When Yuan and Qian are out fishing together, Yuan places himself directly in front of, directly next to Qian for the whole length of the conversation where he asks Qian his feelings. Here they are with allllll this space around them, the water, the earth, the air they can sit wherever, they can stand wherever, they can exist wherever they want and they sit half a breadth apart. 

“Four years ago you turned and left, four years later we’re back here. This is enough.” Yuan states

“Can you stop staring at me then?” Qian asks.

gifs by @ueasking

And that in itself is a parallel to Episode 6 and Yuan begging, pleading, clutching at Qian’s knee for him to look at him. Qian could not look Yuan in the eye from the second Yuan told him he was suffering until the moment he returned home, and now Yuan refuses to break eye contact. (And as an aside, it is a very good indication that Qian is warming up to Yuan’s feelings because he says this in a very light, almost joking way. And he follows it with an empty threat, like the empty threat he gave to Lili when she said she didn’t want to go to school, one that Yuan calls him on immediately.) Yuan moves back to his seat, but even then he does not keep any physical distance from Qian, immediately reaching over to grab Qian’s rod ;-)

At the end of the episode, we get a very differently blocked conversation. It starts with the camera focused on Qian as he ices the back of his head, a place we know has caused him continual problems since the boxing match. Yuan knocks before he enters (which he did for the first time last episode), gives Qian a glass of milk (which they’ve definitely done in this show before), and in response Qian (rightfully imo) yells at Wei Zhiyuan for being dumb, then confronts him with the letter. 

“What is the meaning of this?” Qian asks, and it’s the first time he looks at Yuan in the exchange and Yuan takes it, turns around, and walks away without a word. Yuan puts the letter away and goes to sit on a chair in his room, looking across the hallway at Qian. And this is one of my favorite parallels in the episode, because of what it is doing with distance. 

gif by @ueasking

Earlier in the episode Yuan and Qian were fishing together and engaging in very intense conversation about their feelings and their relationship to one another (or rather, Qian was undergoing an interrogation about his feelings and hearing once more Yuan’s feelings for him). With all that wide open space at the river they were essentially joined at the hip the entire time. But here, when there is another very intense conversation about to happen- one where Yuan is breaking some news to Qian that is almost guaranteed to make him feel all the more guilty for sending Yuan away and going no-contact -there is as much space between them as possible.

So despite the fact that they are in their house, in a much smaller space than the river, despite the fact that they started the conversation in Wei Qian’s room, one of the few places Qian has been vulnerable in front of his family (especially when intoxicated, triggered, or experiencing symptoms of his chronic health condition), one of the few places that Qian has allowed Yuan to be completely carefree, cuddly, and affectionate with him (even sharing a bed), this space Qian has fought tooth and nail to make safe for his family, Yuan does not tarnish it by being in the room with him for the conversation. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

No, instead Qian will get this information with as much physical and emotional distance between them as Yuan can muster. 

“...some people started writing their last words” causes Qian to break eye contact with Yuan, but his posture, his breathing, all the rest of his physicality remains the same. Until…

“Everything I own is yours, whether you want it or not,”

That is what breaks Qian. Throughout the conversation as he is hearing about Yuan getting trapped, as he is hearing about Yuan thinking he was going to die, he is stoic, he is stone faced, the most movement you see from him is his eyes looking Yuan up and down in concern and his breath getting slightly quicker with each word, the turn of his head. But here he closes his eyes, he looks down at the ground, he releases his breath. It hits him so hard, the knowledge that he could have sent Yuan away and never seen him again, he sent Yuan away and Yuan could have died, where Qian was not around to protect him. 

It is just such a good mirror to the fishing scene, I love it so much. 

[akria23]

PromNont - Ep8

Before I get started I was very hesitant to post this one because it’s not as upbeat as my last & I really struggled with how to say what I wanted. This is just my interpretation and it was written without an ounce of sleep so if I missed anything…

We got two scenes for the pairing this time (I need more PromNont) and imma talk about both…

Starting with the pool scene, Nont is finally home having not received any good news but Prom is there to console him as promised - that man is addicted to a back hug and Nont’s shoulder like nobody’s business. It starts off well but for some reason Prom decides to tell Nont that he too cared for Nant. How aftercare was just aftercare for Nant but the best time for him & how there were times he thought Nant may have cared for him too. This of course is the total opposite of when he said that he has no feelings for Nant, that he was simply protective because of their contract. By the time he gets to talking about it wanting to see the video & theorizing that Nant may still be alive, Nont is clearly uncomfortable with just how far the conversation has shifted.

Even though I’ve spoken about Nant being a ghost between them - it wasn’t until the pool scene that I actually became conscious of the fact that the times Nont reinforced that he isn’t Nant has been an ongoing conversation with Prom since his reveal of being a twin - its typically a response to something Prom has said or done and not just a way to erect a wall.

Prom getting jealous / Prom pushing for aftercare / Prom asking him to stay

From Nonts perspective, Prom doing these things is just him using him as a replacement at best or trying to transition him into being Nant at worst, making the “I’m not Nant '' reinforcement necessary. Ever since their first confrontation where Nont accused Prom of having feelings for his twin and told him not to cross the line with him because he is not Nant, they’ve been dancing around the topic. Now there’s a real possibility that Nant is alive and could come home and the things that weren't allowed to be said are being said, there's no more skirting around it. Believing something, thinking it, is totally different from that person saying and confirming it. It makes it real, makes it more painful.

Nant’s existence feels like it eclipse everything because everything around Nont feels like his twin’s. He had to become his twin, he’s living his choices, he’s surrounded by his friends, he’s engaging with his lovers (some more than others) . His value feels tied to being Nant’s twin. When Prom was silently professing a desire to die at the concept of loss - who was that confession really for? As Nont speaks of classic love triangles he’s overtly speaking on Prom / Nant / Nuth & covertly of his own messy relationship with his missing twin’s lover that resides in that shadow as well.

By the time he gets the reactions of the Baddies he’s done. He’s decided there’s no benefit in finding a brother who doesn’t seem to want to be found, a brother he feels he doesn’t even know anymore.

——

The second scene opens up with Nont seducing Prom - uninhibited, bold, & wanton. Like usual Prom seems adept at reading Nont’s mood, everything about him says trouble before he even utters a word.

And when he does it’s to tell Prom to have sex with him like he’s Nant, how it’s written in the contract. Nont’s ever constant, “I’m not Nant” becomes “I’m Nant.” However it’s not a response to the will of Prom, instead it’s an ultimatum, almost a challenge and maybe on some levels even a punishment. He tells Prom that if he has sex with him like he’s Nant he’ll continue to look for his twin. Even when Prom doesn’t respond at first they both know it’s a yes. In fact there’s no verbalized response from Prom at all, instead he wraps his arms Nont’s neck and goes to pull him in but Nont pulls back, letting Proms hands slide down his body. It’s clear from the start of this scene til the end of it who is the dominant of the moment, who’s the one with the power.

It’s interesting, Nont started off seductively & then tempting - almost coaxing Prom to go along. But he escalates to an intensity rather quickly. A part of me wonders if he secretly wanted to leave his mark on Prom’s memories of Nant…

Somehow Prom has agreed to allow himself to be bound, blind folded and at the mercy of Nont’s hands. I cannot decide if he is silly, desperate, or very trusting. Maybe a bit of all three considering we saw Nont admit to being drunk.

A lot of people heard Nont say, “ Have sex with me like I’m Nant’ but me - I heard him say, “Fuck me like I matter”. Because essentially, I believe that was a big part of it. Yes, there is a bit of anger, bitterness, resentment - which ever word fits best to you - wrapped into this moment but ultimately he wants to feel special, important, cared for. There’s a desire l to lose himself not only in the sex itself but in returning to being the person so many around him seem to yearn for, including Prom, most certainly Prom.

Afterwards they rest with Prom at the head of the bed his feet resting on Nont’s stomach as he lays across the bed. I can’t say if this small bit of physical connection is done consciously or subconsciously. It’s obvious that neither is in a good head space, they’re not in the normal aftercare position Prom seems to favor & when Prom finally ask what Nont’s plans were for finding Nant, Nont responds that Prom must miss Nant badly. Though he may have won the last battle between them, clearly he’s not over it.

This episode seemed to be a step forward for the majority of the pairings, confirmations, confessions, apologies and forgiveness. It was also a shift for Prom & Nont’s…relationship, although I wouldn’t call it a positive one. Like I was getting at in he post, Prom & Nont have a consistent back and forth that typically goes the exact same way every time however this was the first episode we saw either of them deviate & it created a snowball of a mess that leaves neither of them satisfied by the end.

Note: There was a couple of things that surprised me in this episode - for one I was NOT expecting to see PromNant actually have sex nor did I think it was gonna be so similar to PromNont sex. Nant being a switcher was a big surprise - I thought that would be a difference but it seems they get down in the exact same way. Also was a bit lost when Nont said for them to do it as written in the contract because I knew they weren’t using the terms but I assumed they were still engaging in BDSM…unless the contract entails how exactly Nant gets to Dom / Top.

[magicaldreamfox1]

do u guys ever think abt how after pete escaped vegas only ever came to see him to apologise. how despite all the pleading and begging for pete to stay with him to start over together, once pete escapes vegas just accepts it. how he only comes to see pete to say sorry for everything he's done and everything that happened. not a single word abt coming back to him and starting over. do u guys ever think abt that bc i do.

[cryptidafter]

Voyeurism in Playboyy

First off, I will preface this by saying I am by no means an expert on film and it’s been years since I’ve written an essay so - uh - take that as you will! 

One of the most fascinating elements of Playboyy to me is the overwhelming feeling of being observed. The most obvious way this is achieved is through the use of video. Characters are often recording themselves or other people and those clips are integral to the progression of major story arcs (Captain filming Keen without his consent, the clips of Nant used to investigate his disappearance, etc.) There’s this omnipresent gaze that can’t be hidden from. Someone, somewhere, is always watching. You could be recorded at any moment, your most intimate and personal moments put on display for an unseen audience, and you'd have no idea. 

TV screens also play into this sense of being watched. There are often TVs on in the background of scenes. Sometimes they’re being used (Captain showing the video he made with Zouey to the rest of the rugby team, another voyeuristic act) but oftentimes they’re simply showing static (Nont has many scenes like this as do Nont and Prom together). The TV acts as a sort of window into the outside world and, in this case, we're the outsiders looking in. These characters are performing for our entertainment and Playboyy doesn't let you forget that.

Mirrors are another way that Playboyy heightens this sense of being watched. These are often most utilized with Nont as well. Private moments are being “reflected” back both to the character and the viewer. It's a double dose of being looked at. Twice the attention and judgment.

However, what I really want to touch on are the characters’ sense of being observed by us (the audience) thanks to some really neat camera work and breaking of the fourth-wall. We're voyeurs in our own way, another element that Playboyy plays with and draws our attention to (no, I will not be getting into the overarching theme of being surveilled by society because I'd be here all day).

To start, so we’re all on the same page, some basic definitions of voyeurism and the fourth wall. 

Voyeurism can be described as “the practice of obtaining sexual gratification from observing others” which fits Playboyy in regards to cam work and the sharing of sexually explicit videos (often without the consent of all involved parties). However, the definition I’m most interested in is “the criminal act of surreptitiously viewing a person without their consent in a place where the person has a reasonable expectation of privacy (such as a home or public bathroom) or of using a device (such as a camera) for the purpose of such viewing.” Merriam-Webster

For fourth wall breaks, this video summarizes things pretty well:

Okay, with that out of the way, I want to get into how Playboyy utilizes fourth wall breaks and specific camera angles to bring the audience directly into the story and heighten the sense of voyeurism. We are as much a part of the mystery as the characters. 

I won’t touch on every single instance of this in the series but a few of my favorite ones (thus far). 

In the beginning of episode 2, we have Prom welcoming us to the Playboyy Lounge. The reason I say “us” is because he is addressing the viewer. We aren’t tailing some nameless, faceless person off the street; Prom’s facing the camera and we’re put in the position of a patron. We are the ones participating, looking at the sex workers who are available, being given the rundown. I think it’s a really fun way of establishing the location and preparing us for what’s in store at Playboyy Lounge in the future. 

One of my absolute favorite scenes is in episode 6, where the university gang is talking about the best way to get all the suspects together, and the camera is hidden. It’s like the camera has been placed in a closet, left to capture whatever happens behind closed doors. We are given a glimpse into a private conversation that we should not be observing! 

And then, the university boys all turn to the hidden camera - to us - and Nont says this: 

Yes, he’s speaking to his friends but he’s also addressing the audience! We're riding along, anxiously awaiting what will be revealed next, passively watching as these characters go through difficult and terrible things. I think it’s a clever utilization of the fourth wall break that still ties into the show’s presentation overall (the characters, most specifically First, are often remarking about how their life isn’t a specific genre of movie or TV show. That’s another little fourth wall break in and of itself, but I digress). 

On to another altered perspective moment that had me screaming: the interrogation scene in episode 12. 

Nont and Captain are executing their half-baked torture plan and the camera is positioned above, lurking. We’re hiding up in the rafters, watching some very illegal activity going on that - again - we are not supposed to be seeing. We're a captive audience to some truly awful behavior but, hey, we shouldn't be here right? We've chosen to follow the story because we want to know what happens. We're voyeurs! There are also moments where the camera is low to the ground and nearest to a column, giving the illusion that we’re hiding. I just really love how these angles add so much extra tension! 

The final fourth wall break I want to touch on is the rooftop party in episode 6 (you know, the one we sneakily listened to the planning for?). The uni boys (+Nont lol) do a toast and we’re included! They’re looking directly into the camera and raising their cups to us - we, the audience, are in on the plan and now we’re explicitly being invited to see how it unfolds.

There are more instances (and flavors) of voyeurism and fourth wall breaking but I don’t want this post to get crazy long. (Reiterating that I’m not a professional lol).

I really appreciate all that Playboyy does, not only narratively but stylistically. Each choice that’s made feels deliberate and enhances the story. 

[fanfictionroxs]

It's amazing how Todd putting Black in a coma or Vegas electrocuting Pete's balls enraged me less than Ray calling Sand a whore or taunting him about his financial situation. Like by the end of Not Me and KinnPorsche, I was a strict toddblack and vegaspete shipper, but by the end of Only Friends, I wanted Sand 2 countries away from Ray. Because see, Black and Pete are more insane than the men who hurt them and there's an equality in their relationships. Black put Todd in a coma timeout and Pete is.. well Pete, like no Theerapanyakul could handle this guy if he truly went batshit. And so there's an equality in the delicious toxicity of toddblack and vegaspete which is nowhere to be found between RaySand where Ray holds the upper hand and Sand does the emotional labour and gets punished for it by Ray. And in my eyes, that makes them worse than the coma couple or the mafia torture bitches probably because they, Sand and Ray, hit so close to home. Because while men like Todd and Vegas might not exist in real life with their insanity yet true love and fucked up devotion and friendship, men like Ray do who use and abuse and return with tears and apologies only for the cycle to repeat again.