lake-90

[demitrius-kahnum]

Warcraft [Movie] NSFW 🔞 alphabet One-Shots

Alright everyone! This is gonna be my first post—> (let's just ignore that I was gonna write and post a one shot for the kdrama Eve first but just decided to do this instead). 

I'm posting the template of this first just in case there are some newbies to Tumblr, and so that all of you can just prepare yourselves 🙂😏🥵

Now, just to get this out of the way as a reminder, I haven't played the World of Warcraft games nor read any of the books. I've only seen the movie and watched a SINGULAR video speed running the history/summary of the storyline of the World of Warcraft games. So these one-shots are only going to be from the movie with the main cast of characters (and yes: even Gul’Dan and Blackhand despite me HATING the former). 

So with that out of the way, and a plea for y’all to forgive me and my writing, I hope you enjoy and I'll post the first one later. See ya!

NSFW alphabet template

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

[skymagpie]

An extremely non-canonical exchange between Shazi and Blackhand because she is so desperate in TWW she would even go to him for advice, given that her own ancestors are not warlords and she is too ashamed to go to Durotan and Draka and tell them she is becoming the same monster she helped their AU selves fight on Draenor

[neff-zhul]

area girlboss falls asleep on her girldad, drools on the dadtits

[couldtransitionsaveher]

BLACKHAND (ALTERNATE UNIVERSE) from WORLD OF WARCRAFT: WARLORDS OF DRAENOR

JUSTIFICATION:

"Most of the hostile NPCs that guard blackhand’s boss room are women. The boss(or bosses) you have to kill in order to get Blackhand to fight you are women as well. After their death Blackhand even states that “they were my favorites” and while Blackhand is cruel,cunning,brutal and doesn’t seem to care much about the wellbeing of pretty much anyone, Blackhand seems to genuinely be hurt that those three died. That and I just feel the vibes that if things were different she could have been happier, not less cruel and violent mind you, just generally happier." - @goblin-enjoyer

Reminder: Submissions are always open! Submit here!

Did you make your daily click today?

[goblin-enjoyer]

Guess what these characters have in common? Hint:A very specific headcanon I have for the both of em sometimes.

They'll figure it out eventually.

[azerothtravel]

Blackhand Triumphant?, Talador, November 15, 2014.

[a-midnight-rest]

After watching a walkthrough of Warcraft, Warcraft 2, and Warcraft 2 The Dark Portal, I have officially decided that Warcraft 3 and beyond is non canon.

Like, sooooo many things are different. The elves are a snow people from the northren regions, humans are a maritime power first wich is how they came to dominated the continent in the first place, the dwarves lives not in caves but on the mountains... It”s difficult to know exactly how the Horde works, beyond that they are led by a Shadow Council which more or less pick the leader of the Horde (they had Blackhand assassinated when he got outplayed by Doomhammer), and they are locked in a permanent fight for more power. We do know half orcs exists, and that they have a place in the Horde. We also know that they are willing to ally rather than conquer, as they did with the trolls, the ogres, and the human nation of Dalarac, so it seems the only thing standing between getting killed or recruited by the Horde is you proving your strength and willingness to follow the Council.

The maps, the politics, the cultures, the magic... Warcraft 3 feels like a fanfic.

[the-firebird69]

💪 King Ragnar has just deserved respect of ALL the orcs in #warcraft

And our son picked up on this and there's a problem the guy's voice sounds very familiar and he's trying to sound like Stan but he does not and he's taking over like half of them and it's not a huge problem and they picked up on it and they fought and they stopped them and they pulled them out no they got rid of all of them and they found their people know but they preserve the bodies because they know about the situation

This is coming up pretty soon after Trump gets kicked out let's find out to be a bum

He's going around and he's ruining these groups and his own and he's disgusting does not have the program and is a loser we need to stop him and get him the hell out of here

Thor Freya

He's just a very weak Charlottan what he's doing is absolutely meaningless except he's ruining his entire realm.

Hera

My son says I want him in the office first thing in the morning and they're supposedly his offices but no he's sitting there saying he owes the company all the time and we're going to have a discussion with him and at one of the companies it's pretty big and was sick and tired of him saying it and he's slanderous and he's evil mean he's running around the company telling lies trying to get people to do stuff so you'll start to force him to sell the shares again and we're going to force his idiots out and we know what what happens after this we know what to do he's going to disappear fully

Thor Freya

Olympus

My husband says Trump also needs ESL courses but we don't provide them for idiots who are our enemies and I want my name taken out of his family and I want their lawsuit to go ahead and the way we described he said there's pieces that are started and I want to know what they are when they're going on or want to know here unless it's secretive and I want to know why it's secretive it's probably tell him and it's going to get out but so he's going to try and look at that

Hera

We noticed that these two are crying about it all the time and that this guy is a huge a****** and they need some satisfaction and her son has some and Hera has some and it really is nice about both of them and now this wonderful complete moron needs to leave Dave and it is working his life seems to be getting a little better and we will back them off but she needs to know what we're doing and there's a couple pieces that have happened to approach it and that is how it's going on and people can actually see it happening he is being stricken from the records that have her name on it and they're pulling them out and they're rewriting them and putting them in and the records are things that are able to be modified and is things that he was associating with her and had no right to and we're doing it with lawyers and he's getting really mad and it's in Boston and it's about co-owning businesses that she did not own and we're taking her off the records because he doesn't own those businesses anymore and the ones that he owns and she's on there we are taking apart and we are going to take her name off and when the company is in pieces and we have the pieces and we're doing it now he's getting pretty angry about it and she says I went out of the companies and so we're going to ask her and talk to her and he says that's fine we don't need her on there as a fulcrum it's not necessary she gets removed from the company and he thinks they're the company is not protected so we're going to talk to her about it cuz it's a pain but really they're doing tons of stupid crap anyways and he needs some heat and we're going on it now they sent another group out there of 300 million ships and they're gone and the warlock only have around 2 billion left and they're going to have nothing right now they're contemplating going up there to where the pseudo empire is to try and fool them and no they've already done it and they're amassing huge armies all over the place to go up there cuz they think that they're fooled and they're going to get surprised

Lobo and proxima midnight

We are going to assist here right now there's a mess these trumpsters are assholes bja is a****** and they think they can force whatever they want and they're going to lose a huge army and several contingents after and they're going to continue to search North and they're going to try and take these pseudo empire out and hv been harming them for a long time which is true. We're also looking at our son's idea of shipping out Porsche kits and several people want them and their son suggests you know like 20 20,000 ft speed shops that aren't doing anything or something along those lines and people agree that's a great way to do it and it won't attract that much attention and they want to start doing it and what we say is they're sitting around there's a bunch of kids for real and it's the normal five people that want them and there's probably a million kids for the Porsche 944 there's 200 million for the 928 300 million for the 911 and so on and their older kids but they all fit on the '80s version or '90s and '90s version and so on the VW and some of them are for the scirocco which not many people have and so we're going to pack them up and ship them out and we're going to either arrange to sell them cuz we co-owned a company or we have possession of them and then storage and we might need the company toy Warehouse there's a lot of these places that have them stored and really they're old and Dusty they've been around for a while but they still work

Thor Freya

We want to buy the whole lot and we want to talk about it

Meghan Markle

We have offers already yours is very good and it's for different stuff

Thor Freya

Good so send it and if you find more send that he says there's more because you haven't gotten there

Meghan Markle

It's true there's more and we're going to send them

Thor Freya

This idea is approved and he says that the Porsche program of his is a go and Ken is saying yes and they're going to begin it

Olympus

I'm really excited and I do want the 928 and he agrees it's one of the best and it's a certain year I believe 2007 and people say it'll fit on the newer Volkswagen and there is a Volkswagen that year but you can have a different one but still we're going to try and do this it's an outstanding idea because the Porsche it's not really that famous anymore but it's a very nice car and it's fast and you look like you're doing okay and you can make money with that look and I want to try and do that and see what the problem is here it's impossible for him we can go on day trips and we can go to Miami this place is for the birds they don't want to do anything make any money I can say I know like my auntie and there's plenty of women who want to be an old aunt that can fund some dumb project of ours Aunt Rose for example and she's into cars and for crying out loud that's a good idea in Miami there's a bunch of people and he might bump into Brian Gerard and he knows he knows how to do stuff this is what's nice we can do stuff like that and make it work and gerard can be grown up LOL just like a GF but no contact is needed

Ken

What the f*** that's stupid she didn't know me as a grown up person like in Hawaii Five-O I got to get this going that's pretty cool just say that I was stunted or something and he said no you're a late bloomer and people were saying that and sometimes happens when you started by something you didn't know we were stunted by and then I can be late bloomer and it works for the Max and others I'm going to get ready this is so much fun he wants to show us something about it and it's really farther so he doesn't know and mother and he still doesn't know

Bg

Olympus

[shamanofthewilds]

Orc hand size appreciation post 1/?

[neff-zhul]

happy belated valentine's day to the og couple and the romance i completely made up for them

[hitchell-mope]

Good film. I’d definitely watch it again

[goblin-enjoyer]

Revealing what my niche headcanon for blackhand is.

[azerothtravel]

History Up Close, Blackrock Foundry, March 24, 2015.

[harvestmendonthavefangs]

out here suffering from orc brainrot so i made this playlist for playing my mag’har orc, Nazgorom.

[ivorytowerblr]

NaNoWriMo 2021: Nov 9th

Food coma due to delicious meats almost did today’s writing in, but I persisted. That and still not quite adapting to DST ending.

Title: Warcraft: Invasion (Vol 1 of Reborn AU) Word Count: 13925 (of 50000) Includes: Violence, mature sexual content, strong language. Summary: It was a dark and stormy night when the rift opened. From it spilled warriors of an alien culture bent on finding and destroying the cause of a sickness that plagued their world, all unknowing that the true cause was right under their noses all along.

Five years after the birth of his son, Llane Wrynn, Crown Prince of Stormwind, would learn of a terrible threat to his people, his nation, and his very world. The only natural thing to do is send his son to the protective walls of Northshire Abbey and, all unknowing, to the protection of a great hero, the prodigy-knight Mara Fordragon.

When sickness ravages your very world, you have no choice but to do whatever it takes to cure it, even if it means traveling to another world by means of the foulest of dark sorceries. It means standing at the side of a butcher, a monster, an abuser, a warrior, a chieftain, a hero to your clan. It means putting aside what is right to do what you must.

All these threads and more weave together to bring about a war like any other; two worlds will never be the same again.

Previous: 1st . 2nd . 3rd . 4th . 5th . 6th . 7th . 8th. 

“What?!” Blackhand’s voice rose, and Griselda flinched, shrinking back a little. She had not been speaking -- she was in fact entirely uninvolved with the conversation -- but she still feared her father’s temper.

Not that I can blame her, Garona thought from her place in the shadows. Not everyone can hide as I do. Brainless thugs are still very dangerous to those around them.

“The soft-skins are guarding their borders more closely now,” repeated the scout, Vestak, his eyes fixed on the hard mud floor of his chieftain’s hut. The whole place was damp and uncomfortable, much like the rest of the Sorrowlands. “They have armoured warriors riding great, fierce creatures with hooves bigger than a talbuk’s and great teeth.”

They’re called humans, and realistically their skin isn’t significantly softer than ours, Garona corrected mentally. Though the horses are a problem.

“Then we need our own mounted warriors,” Blackhand growled, and smashed his fist against his makeshift throne. Garona eyed him with distaste. “The Thunderlord have promised worgs, where are they?!”

“They are cautious because of the red pox,” Gul’dan cut in smoothly, and Garona’s eyes darted to him. He was not tall as orcs went -- Blackhand was a third again his size, even without his heavy metal armour -- and his features were twisted into a permanent sneer. He was not ancient; he was only fifty summers old, and his hands were smooth and firm as he gripped his cane that was as much affectation as a focus for his spellcasting. He wore wine-dark cloth robes, woven in the tradition of the ancient Shadowmoon clan, though he did not carry that name.

Instead, he was the Stormreaver.

“Bah, he can just avoid the Shadow Wolves if it means so much to him,” Blackhand said, gesturing dismissively. “He may have promised their old chieftain a litter, but he promised them to us years ago.”

“They will be brought,” Gul’dan said. “But for now, it will be dangerous for your warriors to push further into enemy territory. They need to wait for scouting reports.”

“We orcs are not meant to wait!” Blackhand rose, and began to pace the small room like a caged wolf, snarling and jerking his head from side to side. The stench of alcohol wafted from his person. Invisible, Garona pulled a face in disgust.

He’s a useless fool, Garona thought. The humans are organized. They have military leaders. They have clearly been at war before and know how to wage it. Orcs rely on overwhelming strength and fear to win. Once warned, the humans will overcome us.

“Then let us examine the situation again.” Gul’dan snapped his fingers. “Garona. The maps.”

Immediately, she took a step forward, causing Blackhand to grunt in surprise, and Griselda to suck in her breath in shock. Garona ignored both of them, and moved to the crude slab that had been set up to function as a table. She unhooked a long, slender cylinder from her belt and cracked it open, tipping out a roll of thinly scraped leather and unrolled it.

Blackhand reluctantly moved back to his throne and sat in it heavily. “We are in Stonard, not far from what the soft-skins called Bluemarch.”

“Correct,” Gul’dan said, gesturing towards a pair of symbols. “We have traveled north from the staging area for the Dark Portal in an effort to hide where we have come from. Few humans live in this area, and those that do live in small villages, isolated from each other due to the swamp. We established Rockard closer to the Dark Portal as our place to gather supplies so they can be given to our armies and scouting parties.”

“I know all of this,” Blackhand growled. “I was there. My sons named these settlements.”

Which explains why they are so bog-standard and stupid, Garona thought sourly. What’s next, Dirtennar? Rend-and-Maim-ard? You had twins who are all ass and no brains. Maybe Saksha was saving it all for her daughter.

“We can’t keep relying on supplies from Draenor to sustain us,” Griselda whispered. Three sets of eyes -- including Garona’s -- fixed on her. She shrank back a little, but continued. “The supply lines will run too long, and it will be easier for the human patrols to cut us off from them. They don’t know where we are right now, but that won’t be true forever. Especially if they speak to the survivors.”

“There are no survivors,” Blackhand growled menacingly, then glanced at Gul’dan. “Are there?”

Gul’dan smiled thinly. “Not once we’re done with our prisoners, but if there are any who survive battle, they might be recovered and healed by the human necrolytes or shamans. If they can answer questions, they will be able to give their account of us.”

“Then we slaughter them all!” Blackhand roared. “We butcher the soft-skins and we get our food from Draenor.”

“...where people are starving, and the land is dying,” Griselda noted. “That is some of why we have come here, isn’t it? To stop that from happening. We can only take so much. If you will not allow for hunting, we must find another way.”

She’s right, but wrong in equal measures, Garona thought. If she knew... if anyone outside of Gul’dan and his inner circle knew...

“Then where do you propose we get food from?” Blackhand demanded. “Will you call it from the air?”

“No, we would need to farm,” Griselda said. “This is a swamp, it’s true, but it’s possible to farm here. I have done some tests.” Blackhand made a face, but didn’t interrupt. “We can drain some of the land, shore up drier areas, and grow simple grains. We could bring living boars here, or we could take animals from the humans. They farm too. They would know what can and cannot be grown here.”

Blackhand grunted. “So we’re to just stop our war and start farming? My warriors will go mad with boredom while the peons work.”

“They could... help?” Griselda offered tentatively, and Blackhand snarled at her. She shrank away from him, and Gul’dan raised his hand to forestall any violence.

“We need the warriors to go to war, just as we always have,” Gul’dan said smoothly. “However, there are others within the clan that can work, or we can force some of the humans we capture to work. Especially the farmers.”

“Fine, we have a plan for farming,” Blackhand said, sneering. “What about real work? What about the fighting we need to do?”

“It is simple,” Gul’dan said. “The humans cannot guard every pathway. We will go around them. Send your warriors against them here, at the border of the red and brown lands.” He indicated on the map. “While they do that, the scouts will go to the borders of other lands and see where the warriors stand ready, and where they do not hear of our coming. In those places, send an overwhelming force.”

“Won’t... won’t the warriors you send to Redridge die?” Griselda asked softly. “If there are armoured riders and experienced warriors guarding it?”

“They will if they’re weak,” Blackhand said. “In fact, I know just who to send.”

Griselda’s chin trembled, but asked, “Who would you send?”

“An outsider,” Blackhand said, dismissively. “Eitrigg. His sons are too young yet to be proper warriors, but they can serve as runners if needed. I hear the Great Sands are good at running away from things. If he survives, he’ll gain my respect. If he dies, we’ll have two more for your farms.”

I’m sure it would have been Doomhammer’s son if he were still here and not off scouting the southern jungles, Garona thought. He would have done it to hurt her, I am sure. He is so cruel to someone so undeserving.

“Then it is settled,” Gul’dan said. “Garona, I want you to scout to the west. Blackhand will divide the rest of his scouts as he sees fit. By your leave, Chieftain, I would speak with my scout about other matters.”

Garona stood, and kept her gaze fixed downward. “As you say, Chieftain.”

“Yes, yes, go,” Blackhand said. “Leave the map. We may need it.”

Garona looked to Gul’dan, who nodded, and swept out of the chieftain’s hut, and walked briskly towards his own tent. Garona followed behind silently, staring at the back of his head, trying to penetrate his mind to read his thoughts. Gul’dan refused to speak until they were within the tent, under the protective glyphs that kept away prying ears with a sound like droning insects.

“I want you to go and speak to Medivh,” Gul’dan said without preamble. “Let Blackhand waste his warriors testing the human defenses, they will not fall easily. I was promised assistance and I will get it. Go to him and ask him where it is.”

“Yes, Master,” Garona said, keeping her voice hushed. “Do you not trust him to answer you directly?”

“Of course not,” Gul’dan snapped. His anger was different from Blackhand’s; a low, dangerous rasp where the Blackrock chieftain was all bluster and intimidation. “He is keeping secrets, I have sensed it from the beginning. I would know more. I will know more. You will bring that information to me. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Garona said. “I will leave when you ask.”

“Now,” Gul’dan said. “Gather some supplies and go. Not too many. Warriors need that food.”

And I am no warrior, Garona finished mentally. I’m not even an orc.

“Go,” Gul’dan said, cutting through her thoughts. “Do not be seen.”

Garona nodded, and left the tent, sighing nearly inaudibly as the buzzing faded from her senses. She moved quickly, avoiding the clusters of warriors that were drinking, polishing their weapons, or fighting duels that were half out of boredom and half to establish a pecking order.

Eitrigg, son of Harnuth, was sitting on a stump, telling a story to his sons, Vestagg and Ariok. The older warrior’s expression was animated as he gestured in places, emphasizing one point or another as he described a great hunt.

I should warn him, Garona thought, pausing as she did so. His sons don’t deserve to lose both their parents, and while I could never fight an illness, the least I can do is tell him--

“You, Eitrigg,” called one of the scouts. Garona turned, seeing Vestak. Her heart sank. “The Chieftain has orders for you.”

“I’ll finish the story later, my sons,” Eitrigg said, his voice a deep burr. He hefted himself upwards and mussed first Vestagg’s hair, then Ariok’s. “When the Chieftain speaks, all hear, including Papa.”

The pair stood and saluted. “For the Blackrock! For Chieftain Blackhand!”

“Something to say, Spook?” hissed Vestak as he passed her. “Do outsiders all stick together?”

Yes, Garona said. She ignored his words, and hurried off to collect supplies. It won’t take a moment to write a word of caution... assuming he can read. Which isn’t a given, all things considered. Damnit, should I tell his sons? They’re only twelve and ten, they may not be able to remember. I’ll think of something. I must.

If nothing else happened, Garona had decided: Eitrigg would live.

[fitzefitcher]

fel orc dadlord concepts!! from my fel orc AU, featuring gul’dan as fel pope lmao