Through Your Eyes
Writer Nonnie coming through with another Shirotember fic for us! We’re spoiled and this is a super good heart feels one. Enjoy!
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((A little late because I wanted to sleep in…. which to me means waking up at 7 and not 6:30. Enjoy!))
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Another day, another one of Coran’s old school Paladin training courses.
The exercise was quite similar to one of their first ones, a blind free fall where the Paladins had to see through their Lions’ eyes. Only instead of a free fall it was an obstacle course of asteroids and giant worm-like creatures that shoot lasers from their mouths.
They were going one by one, starting with Hunk, then moving to Lance, Pidge third, Keith next, then finally Shiro. Then reverse, order. Then all at once. Then back to Hunk and all over again.
Shiro was listening to the others as they went through the course.
“Where the quiznack did that one come from!?” Hunk was doing fairly well avoiding the asteroids and lasers. “Come on Big Guy you got this!”
“Same to you Hunk!” Lance encouraged from his position.
“Remember, see through your Lion’s eyes!” Coran advised. “It should be much easier now!”
“Doesn’t mean it’s any less dangerous!” Hunk argued just as he dodged a laser with a shriek.
Eventually, the Yellow Lion appeared on the other end, judging by Hunk’s relieved sigh.
Enduring.
A familiar voice echoed in Shiro’s mind.
Just like the first.
“Woohoo!” Lance hooted. “My turn!” Lance charged in. “Oh my god this was a bad idea!”
Shiro shook his head, smiling.
Eager.
The Black Lion repeated. She seemed to have quite the commentary.
Eager.
Just like the First.
“Go with the flow Blue,” Lance and the Blue Lion were a bit more graceful in their dodging, though at some point it was more to show off than anything. Especially with the last push and exit. “Beat that Keith!”
“Oh now it’s on.” Keith and Red also charged in, only to be stopped by Pidge as she sped past the both of them.
Impulsive.
Just like the First.
Black’s voice echoed again.
Shiro laughed to himself. “You’ll get your turn Keith.”
“Yeah yeah,” Keith sighed. “Patience yields focus.”
“Let’s go girl!” Pidge was smarter about this, of course. She jumped the asteroids, using them as shields whenever the lasers came her way. Invisibility was used sparingly, usually to confuse the worms. No one was actually keeping score and tracking time, but it seemed she was faster than Lance. “Your turn Keith!”
Before she even finished, Keith was already heading in.
Just like the First.
“You’ve been awfully quiet Taka,” Ryou, from his spot on the other side of the course, said. “What are you planning?”
“Me?” Shiro faked surprise. “Planning something? I’m not devious like you.”
“Bull.” Ryou argued. “Oh hey Keith.”
“How fast was that?” Keith asked as soon as the Red Lion stopped.
“Oh I’m keeping track of that?” Ryou jokingly asked.
Keith growled.
Ryou laughed at that. “Same as Lance. Two second difference.”
“Ha!” Keith and Lance both laughed. “Wait.”
Ryou laughed even harder as Keith and Lance wordlessly glared at each other.
“Your turn Shiro,” Hunk called.
“Let’s go.” Shiro said to the Black Lion.
Let’s.
The Black Lion moved forward and the last thing Shiro saw with his eyes is the entrance of the course. From there, Shiro was seeing through Black’s eyes. They weaved through the gaps, lasers barely touching and missing by incredible margins.
Shiro emerged on the other side.
“And Shiro passes with flying colors!” Coran cheered. “Again!”
“Nothing less from the Golden Boy.” Ryou’s smile was quite audible.
“Alright Paladins,” Allura also sounded like she was smiling. “Part one of training is complete. Now for the next part.”
“Shiro, you’re leading this round.” Coran said.
“Alright Black, ready?” Shiro asked.
Always.
Once more they flew into the course, gliding through with ease. Shiro practically hummed along the way.
As they flew, an image flashed through Shiro’s mind. The first night he flew through the open fields on a hoverbike, modified by Ryou’s own hands of course. The night sky was bright and full were the stars he loved.
Another image. The first flight simulation.
Another. His first mission.
Another. The first flight with Black.
One more.
The wings.
“Whoa.” Pidge gasped softly.
They were already on the other side of the course.
“Nice work Taka,” Ryou sounded proud. “Do you have a secret pair of wings you never told me about?”
“Maybe.” Shiro smiled teasingly.
“Keith. You’re next.” Coran said.
“Alright. Let’s go Red.” Keith went in, possibly more confident knowing Shiro was waiting on the other side.
The rest of the training was quite grueling, if only exaggerated by the occasional whining. As the Paladins rested up in the lounge, Allura was positively beaming, despite aforementioned whining.
Ryou had holed himself up in his work room again, though he said he’d be back by bed time.
Ambitious.
There was the tiniest hint of hesitation in that comment from the Black Lion.
“He’s not… you know who.” Shiro whispered to the air, sensing more of that hesitation.
Silence.
“He can be a little petty and a bit hammy, but he has a good heart.” Shiro continued. “And I’m sure…” He sighed, knowing he won’t believe his own words. “You trust me. And I trust Ryou.”
I’m sorry.
“It’s okay.” Shiro smiled a little. “I know it was hard. To be used like that. To constantly feel him in your head.” He felt her reassurance. “But we’re doing our best. Together.”
Another image. The Lion pyramid.
Shiro couldn’t help but laugh. “You really liked our silly human logic, didn’t you?”
Amusing.
The Black Lion purred a lullaby, and Shiro fell into a comfortable and floating sleep.
Through her eyes, he could still see the endless stars above.
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The only Chimera!Shiro I’ll ever accept is the “clone” wasn’t ever a clone, but Shiro’s actual literal body that like 60% of his soul got seperated from and uploaded into the BlackLion as a safe-keeping OOPS
That Black really did find Shiro (or, his body) and it’s running around with 40% of a soul and just feeling outright physically terrible and emotionally out of sorts and drained.
But Soul!Shiro doesn’t know that. Soul!Shiro feels lost and replaced and why can’t anyone hear him?
Body!Shiro senses Soul!Shiro’s animosity and backs off when BlackLion seemingly rejects him, and tries so hard to get Keith to stay because...BlackLion...just doesn’t want him. (The Lion actually does. But what a mess with a Split Shiro into what’s fast becoming two seperate entities that hate eachother. And it’s the Lion’s Fault. She tried to save her Paladin but lost that tuggawar and ultimately ripped him apart.)
(And Body!Shiro grows just as convinced that he’s Not Right, that he’s WRONG, maybe...even a clone. An imposter. Where is the Real Shiro? He’s so sorry. He never wanted any of this. He’d give it all back...but he doesn’t want to lose it, either.)
And Allura eventually does restore Shiro.
But Body!Shiro can’t accept that he is Shiro. Soul!Shiro now has “two men’s” memories and emotions. One body, two partial souls out of sync and repelling eachother.
It nearly kills him.
Shiro survives, but BlackLion’s grief is harrowing. Shiro wants to trust the Lion, but his body&soul(s) are still in flux, even if the trauma of it all wasn’t so raw.
Allura takes over flying with the BlackLion, and bears the brunt of the Lion’s grief and shame, while doing her best to reasure Shiro that the Lion will always be ready for him when he is. The Bond will never be forced. But if Shiro is willing to give it another go, so is the Lion.
Shiro doesn’t reclaim his seat with Black immediately. Instead he slowly falls back into the old rhythm of coordinating and planning the other Paladins’ movements. He feels like a coward. He wants to fly again. But he can’t bear of flying with anything other than Black, but his own fear and shame at his cowardice is so much rawer than he remembers it being when it was “only” flashes of repressed memories and feelings of torture, or two sets of memories overlapping as a labrat.
It’s easier to fall into “Jiro’s” Role and still do something to help. “Shiro” is just too difficult.
But, the gentle tug of the Lion remains. And one day, months after being restored, they fly.
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Oneshot (ish?) Idea:
Keith actually TALKS to the Team and just expresses that he doesn’t want to lead. Which, still leaves the Team Stuck since...they’re once again without a Black Pilot. (And no amount of pleading will get Keith to stay.)
Shiro visits the Black Lion’s hangar yet again. He promises he isn’t there to force a Bond, but if Keith isn’t going to do it anymore, they’re kinda stuck. Shiro tries giving the Lion his quintessence through what feels like a frayed Bond and allowed the Lion to find him at all—he can’t pilot, but maybe he can give his energy so that the Lion won’t need one?
Black Lion takes the quintessence—freely given, no demand for Paladinship—and uses it to take Shiro to the Astral Plane.
Except...there’s another Shiro there, and his presense feels so much more solid and assured than Shiro’s ever did since waking on that Galra cruiser. (And maybe he isn’t “Shiro” at all.)
Black Lion returns the clone, who immediately calls the rest of the Team. They don’t know HOW to get Shiro back out...but surely reverse-engineering the Balmera Ceremony but with their Voltron Bonds is a good place to start??
Thankfully it works, and Shiro’s reunited with his Team. Adjusting to having his own body again (and seeing a clone. And his Team not recognizing their differences) takes time to adjust to (and a longer time to accept and heal from.)
But. Shiro’s finally home. Everyone’s reunited with their first Lions. The rest can come later.
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Shiro has several prosthetics.
Getting his brother free from unknown tech literally grafted onto him was kinda at the top of Ryou’s To Do list—made worse by the Galra continuously finding them and Hunk being of the same mind, too. Ulaz literally storing data like his brother’s a Flash Drive was the last straw. (Shiro fought Ryou on getting it removed Immediately after Allura’s capture—“more pressing matters” with Pidge chiming in that she can just hack around it.) MAYBE it’s Just the Black Lion. But Ryou’s done taking any chances (and the Lion having a tyrant in her circuitry doesn’t explain everything.)
So...Shiro ends up with a new arm, and then some. All detatchable, some weaponized, some not and simply designed for Everyday Comfort and Durability. At least one arm is basically a glorified swiss army knife, which gets heavy use from Shiro. Ryou’s constantly fiddling with the remains of Shiro’s Galran Tech removed to try and figure out how the darn thing admittedly functioned with such a high degree of response. (Ryou also discovers other secrets that cause him to wake up screaming. Shiro always demands to know what’s wrong, but all Ryou can do is hold his twin tightly—Taka’s better off not knowing if Ryou can help it.)
Besides constantly tinkering with Shiro’s prosthetics and the old one, and always looking ways to improve his designs, Ryou also makes Shiro arms that are simply for Just Fun. (well, so long as the fingers and wrist and elbow respond. Style doesn’t entirely substite substance.) Arms with hands that float freely. Arms that are transparent. Arms that glow an ever changing gradiant of colors. Ryou’s pride and joy is an arm that glows and shimmers with starlight and can even display charts both on the forearm and project from the palm and fingers.
However, none of Ryou’s designs can hold a candle to the Black Bayard in comfort, function, versatility, and power...which he’s completely okay with. (Shiro does insist on using Ryou’s Designs fairly frequently, especially after he learns to make other forms with the bayard. But on days when his remaining flesh is simply too tender for anything to touch for long periods, Black’s Bayard is Shiro’s preference. Especially if there’s a chance on getting called on a mission.)
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When the BlackLion drags Jiro home and demands to keep him, he’s absolutely overwealmed by the sheer variety Ryou’s made for Shiro, and touched that Shiro’s insisting that Jiro can share with him until Ryou can make something a little bit more specific for Jiro’s wants and needs.
This timestream may be different in ways Jiro couldn’t anticipate, but this time Jiro isn’t stuck waiting for an arm that isn’t designed to hurt him or wondering if he’s accepted.
(He does want his own StarChartSpacArm. Taka’s not sharing that one.)
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