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#bodhi x y/n
lady-of-tearshed · 5 months
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The healer said
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Bodhi Durran x Reader
This fic is rated 18+. Read at your own discretion. Warnings below.
A/N: SO! First smutty fic, first Bodhi fic... a lot of firsts in this fic! Anyways. Hope it's not too bad and readable. Enjoy! 💕
Summary: Bodhi reminds you of what "the healer said" about what you can and can not do because of your concussion.
Word count: 4,182k
Wanrnings: smut, oral (f receiving), penetration, talk of concussion, talk of broken bones, blood
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Professor Emetterio had surely planned to kill you by choosing Felix Braun as Y/N’s sparring partner. Bodhi was sure of that. You stood no chance against the guy. Bodhi knew that you were strong, wise, devastatingly beautiful… You could easily make lots of guys and girls in this room tap out. But cadet Braun… The guy was viscous, fast, tall, and built like a bear. No weapons, no signets, professor Emetterio had insisted. Bodhi was standing on Xaden's side, arms crossed, as he looked over the woman he became ridiculously smitten with. He could still recall the day he’d seen you cross that parapet with the same determination Amari herself, queen of the gods, was described to hold in her eyes. The spar started, moving his attention back on the mat, his eyes were glued on you, Xaden chuckled beside him. Bodhi shot him a glare, his eyes burning with annoyance as he clicked his tongue, turning his attention back to his… dearest friend. 
You managed to throw a kick in Felix Braun's ribs, he stumbled a little, and you jumped on the opening you had to throw a few jabs at him before dodging his next attack. Xaden whistles discreetly when he notices the damage the woman did on Braun, “She is quite sturdy,” Xaden compliments her, making Bodhi grin proudly. “Yeah, she is,” He whispers, his eyes shining with adoration. He tried not to flinch when you failed to dodge a few punches from Braun, he frowned, keeping his focus solely on you. He crossed his arms tightly on his chest and watched the spar carefully, ready to jump in and break every codex law if it got too dangerous for you. He knew you could handle it, but Braun was known to be cruel, and Bodhi didn't like that for one bit, that this girl had to spar with this asshole. 
Bodhi would have loved to be the one to spar with you, he would've let you break his nose and force him to tap out happily, if it meant being pinned down on the mat between those thick delicious thighs of yours. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to distract himself from these thoughts before it became too obvious. He sensed Xaden smirk beside him, “What.” Bodhi snarled, “Nothing… Nothing,” Xaden taunted, his hands rising in front of him as if he was oh so innocent. Bodhi rolled his eyes and looked over Violet standing on the other side of the room, he pointed his chin in her direction, “Don't act like you've never thought anything like that about her, cousin.” He winked at his cousin, and Xaden’s teaseful grin faded. “It's not like that,” He muttered under his breath, and this time, it was Bodhi’s turn to smirk like an asshole. He was way too pleased to have managed to make his cousin feel embarrassed for once. 
But his grin quickly faded when he saw your frail body being propelled in the air, Braun lifting you above his head in one swift movement, before crashing you to the mat in a loud thud. He heard all of the air escape from your lungs with the force of the impact, and if it weren't from Xaden's shadows, he would've jumped from his place when Felix's clenched fist met with your perfect cheek bone. “She didn't tap out yet.” Xaden warned, both of them staring attentively at the fight. Braun kept hitting, and hitting your now unconscious body, Xaden's shadows left Bodhi's ankles the second you passed out, unable to defend yourself in your condition, “That's enough,” Xaden ordered Felix, trying to sound nonchalant. Bodhi quite literally ran to your side. “She didn't tap out-” Felix Braun tries to argue as Bodhi rushed dangerously closer to him, “Get the fuck away from her.” Bodhi yanked Felix off of you, swinging him full force into the nearest wall. 
Bodhi wasted no time to get his attention back on you. He cradled you carefully up into his strong arms. Bodhi looked towards Emetterio who was staring from the other side of the room. “He taps out,” Bodhi snaps at the professor, then he walked quickly out of the room, his blood boiling with rage by how fucking stupid Felix Braun was. Braun could've killed you. He almost did. Bodhi looked down at your limp unconscious body in his arms. Your body was coated in a thin sheen of sweat, blood stained your clothes, and your cheekbone and nose were twisted in an unnatural shape. But Gods, did he find you beautiful nonetheless.  
All eyes turned on him carrying you when he kicked open the healer’s quadrant door with his leather boot. The healer quadrant was buzzing today, everyone too busy to pay attention to him, or the unconscious stunning angel in his arms. Bodhi was growing frustrated at the thought that no one rushed to take care of you as he did, but he calmed down only slightly when he met Nolon’s eyes. Bodhi held his gaze, and even though the man looked quite busy he sighed and headed toward them. “She needs healing. Now.” Bodhi pressed, reluctant to let go of your frame when Nolon motioned him to lay her down on the medical examination table. “Oh I’m quite sure I know what this cadet needs, wingleader Durran. It’s pretty much my job.” Nolon accentuated their respective titles. You were a cadet. A cadet who wasn’t on his wing. A cadet whom he wasn’t responsible for as a wingleader from a section that wasn’t hers. She was a cadet that Nolon, as a healer, was supposed to take care of. Nolon’s tone made it pretty damn clear that it was best for everyone that Bodhi would just exit this room to let the healers do their jobs.  So, reluctantly, Bodhi left you in the skillful hands of the healers. ‘You’re so pathetically smitten by her.’ Cuir's voice resonated annoyingly from his side of the bond. And Bodhi’s cheek slightly turned a shade redder as he walked through Basgiath’s halls, his thoughts racing towards you. He couldn’t hide the obvious truth from his dragon, so he simply answered, ‘I know I am.’
°●°●°♥︎°●°●°
When you finally slipped out of your restless slumber, you had to pry your eyes open. They were dry, and the bright lights of the room made your head pound. Your stomach churned as you rolled off what you now realized was an examination table, and you emptied what little food you had consumed today before sparring. You recognized Nolon's hand holding up your hair as you heaved, and your nausea ceased as soon as you felt his powers running through you. “Felix Braun had it rougher.” Nolon reassured you, managing to get a weak chuckle out of you. He linked his arm underneath your armpit and helped you up on your wobbling legs. You wiped the remnants of vomit and saliva off your lips, then your fingers gently traced over the curve of your nose. Your nose was now perfectly straight, still sensible, but straight. “Bodhi helped me I suppose?” You roll your eyes. You were glad of your friend's help, but sometimes you just wished you could be strong like him. Nolon shrugged his shoulders, and you knew he was lying when he told you that Bodhi “Barely,” helped you out. 
When you felt your muscles strong enough to support you, you took a few steps away from Nolon, heading towards the door. He raised his eyebrow at you, “Where are you going like that, young lady?” He crossed his arms, his voice a clear warning that you were better not to leave this room like that. You sighed at Nolon's caring nature, and slowly turned to him, “I was… going to get some rest.” You lied, knowing that you had at least one hour left before curfew to practice what mistakes you've made in your spar against Braun. Nolon shoved a paper bag into your hand, and your eyes widened at the tons of different pills there were in there. The blue one was for when you'll wake up in the mornings, the light yellow and the white one while eating, and the two big red ones before going to bed. The suspicious brown syrup was to be taken if you were to be in too much pain, Nolon explained. 
You barely registered anything he'd just said, and you probably wouldn't need to recall all of these pills posology since in your opinion, it was unnecessary. You would probably not even take them. You were a rider. A strong, powerful rider. Rider's don't have time to be sick, or hurt. You thanked Nolon nonetheless, and headed towards the sparring room. It was empty, not to your surprise. It was Friday, and cadets were probably gone celebrating for whatever reason they made up, like still being alive. You tucked an elastic band beneath your boot, the other part of it trapped inside your hand, and you pulled on it to stretch the muscles of your sore shoulders. After thoroughly stretching, you moved to the punching bags to practice your jabs. You tried to ignore the thrombin pain in your head and the tensions on your muscles as you kept giving it your all in your training. Sweat was dripping from your forehead, landing on your cheeks, and you sighed, moving a few steps back from the punching bag to take your breath. 
“You shouldn't be out here.” You heard a familiar voice call out from behind you. That deep, rich voice that sent butterflies flying in the pit of your stomach everytime he was around. “It's not curfew yet.” You stubbornly answer back, wiping your forehead and getting ready for your next set of punches. “You just got mended, you shouldn't overwork yourself like that,” Bodhi's concerned voice was now closer to your right ear, and you felt his hand hesitating to rest on your shoulder. Without warning, you spun around and placed your hands on his chest, sending his cheeks ablaze at your sudden closeness. “And you're not my wingleader, you shouldn't be ordering me around like that,” You say, your voice dangerously low. You can't help yourself but to stare at those scrumptious lips of his, then back into the depth of his soft brown eyes, his pupils were wide. “Then, your healer said you shouldn’t overwork yourself like… that…” 
Bodhi gulped as you walked closer to him, his fingers sneaked almost shakily on the curve of your hips. He roamed his fingers over the fabric of your shirt, then laid his palm flat on your hip, caressing it gently as if he risked breaking you. You get yourself even closer to him, your bodies tightly pressed on eachother, and you internally wondered where this sudden boldness of yours was coming from. It wasn’t a secret that you and Bodhi were eyeing constantly eye-fucking eachother in class, at trainings, at meetings with the other marked ones around… You had exchanged a few fleeting touches with him before too. Your fingers had sometimes sneaked over his to rub them softly when the two of you were sitting beside each other, but never have you been pressed against Bodhi Durran's delicious body before. You must’ve hit your head pretty fucking hard to dare try making a move on Bodhi, your childhood friend, a second year, a wingleader. 
“Did the healer forbid anything else?” You whisper, moving your lips dangerously close to his neck. His scent… His scent was driving you crazy. His aroma of leather and embers made your nostrils flare in delight, and it lit up your whole body in flames. He shivers as your nose brushes over the skin of his neck, and you feel his fingers digging into the soft skin of your hips. You raised on your tippy toes, your lips finally making contact with the skin of his jaw, and you almost moaned in delight at how heavenly it felt to place kisses over his jawline. It felt natural, familiar, and Bodhi was fighting every urge he had, probably because he still doubted that this goddess wanted a man like him, to throw his head back and buck against her. “Mh?” You pressed, still waiting for his answer. 
Your voice vibrated on Bodhi’s neck, sending shivers up his spine, and he instantly felt himself harden only from the sound of your voice. Gosh he was pathetically smitten with this woman. He gulps, and you feel his Adam apple bobbing, making you want to dig your teeth into it. “I do not recall if he forbade any other activities…” He slid his hand from her hips to her lower back, venturing lower, and lower, until he cupped both of your buttcheeks in his palms. His voice rumbled when he felt how your ass moved when his fingers massaged it while you kept kissing his jaw, his neck, his collarbone. “Then I suppose that if I feel like climbing you like a tree, and that you allow me to, I can?” You purred, and Bodhi groaned, he bucked against the hand you sneaked between the two of you, increasing the pressure of your palm placed on the bulge of his pants. “Shit- Y/N,” He warned you, trapping your chin between his thumb and index, forcing your head back to look up at him, “You have no idea what you’re implying right now, what you’re getting yourself into…” 
You plunged your eyes into his, the pounding of your head replaced by the loud thuds of your heart. You pressed your thighs together, biting your lips at the friction, and Bodhi stared down. He sucked in a breath, and before he could chicken out and walk away to lead you to your room to rest like the gentleman you know he is, you told him, “Trust me, I do. Can we stop eye-fucking eachother and just get at it?” His eyes squeezed and you felt him shudder, as if he was fighting some inner demons, overthinking wether it was right, or terribly wrong to fuck you in this state. He opened his eyes, fire dancing in the depths of his eyes.“Fuck yes we can.” His voice was low and sounded primal. He attacked your lips like a starved beast, and it felt as if your souls had merged from this kiss. You could feel him, smell him, taste him everywhere. Feeling him was dizzying, arousing, tantalizing. 
You barely even registered how you stumbled into Bodhi’s bedroom, nor if you had been seen by people on your way there. Your lips had not left Bodhi’s once since he lifted you up into his arms and dragged you here. The last thing you remembered was proposing him to just fuck in the public showers, but Bodhi just didn’t feel like having anyone catching the two of you like this. To be honest, Bodhi just didn’t want anyone to see you, his beautiful girl, naked. Were you his though? He wasn’t sure. And he clearly did not feel like stopping what they were doing, or about to do, right now just to put a name on what they were. He’d fuck you, mark you, and treat you like his tonight. He’d treat you right, love you right, and fuck you right too while he’s at it. 
You were breathing loudly, your lips crashing against his. Bodhi’s neck was already coated with your saliva as you occasionally moved your lips away from his to nip at the column of his neck. Clothes were flying over the room, landing on the floor haphazardly, a weird contrast to Bodhi's immaculately neat bedroom. He lets out a filthy hum when you tug his underwear off, leaving the both of you now completely naked. You slid away from him slightly, his hands leaving your behind as you sank down on your knees. You stick out your tongue, his heavy head sliding on your tongue. You barely have the time to taste the slightly salty pearl of precum shining on the tip of his cock before Bodhi snapped out of his daze, lifting you by the armpits and laying you down on the bed. You raise an eyebrow at him, worried you might’ve done something that upset him, but he kissed your worries away. His lips met your cheek, and he gently bit it. “Tonight, I’m taking care of my sweet girl.” He growls in your ear, kissing the spot right beneath your earlobe lovingly before tracing his tongue down your neck, all the way to the swell of your breast. 
You combed your fingers through his dark curls with your right hand, your left hand already intertwined with his. You squeezed his hand gently as he placed kisses all over your breasts, nipping at the skin to leave small love bites on them. “And… Will I be the one to take care of you tomorrow?” You bit your lips, wondering if maybe you had been too bold to presume there would be other times. But he snickered, moving down to kiss your stomach. He looked at you through his thick eyelashes, and you could see a feline grin plastered on his face as he got further down your body. “Patience, lovely, we have plenty of time to think about what we’ll do tomorrow…” Before you could think of a smart thing to answer back to his teasing tone, his tongue lapped a long stripe of your arousal. Your head tilted back as you softly moaned, and you pulled on his hair, instinctively bringing his mouth closer to where you needed it most. 
His nose pressed against your throbbing clit while his tongue slowly swiped through your soaked folds. He squeezed your hand softly, his thumb stroking the back of your hand.  “Look at me, your eyes are too pretty to be shut…” His voice rumbles in his throat, and you pear at him through half lidded eyes. Gods… he was beautiful. He had painted  your neck, your stomach, your breasts, with dark red marks. It was like a gentle reminder for tomorrow, and the days to come, of all the places his lips had been on you. He pushed your thigh back against your stomach with his free hand, sticking his tongue further into your folds, teasingly pushing in your hole. You bit your lip, and you would’ve shut your eyes closed from the overwhelming pleasure Bodhi was giving you, if it weren’t from the clear warning in his eyes. You bucked your hips against his face, making his tongue disappear deeper into you. Bodhi lustfully sighed, his breath caressing your cluster of nerves.  
You squirm underneath him as a pleasurable tingle rushes into your lower abdomen. “Bodhi,” You moaned his name, and he grunted, rubbing his shaft against the mattress at the sound of his name coming out from those beautiful lips of yours. That only could’ve been his undoing if he didn’t fight the urge to calm himself down to prolong the pleasure. “What?” He had the audacity to answer, slightly lifting his face from between your thighs. His chin was glistening with a mix of your essence and his own saliva. You tugged his hair toward you, and he raised on his elbows, his predatory eyes fixed on yours as he crawled up to your face. He slid his needy lips on yours, tilting tugging your head back to sneak his tongue into your mouth. You tasted yourself on him, a thing you would’ve never considered hot until now. It made your face heat from how naughty it felt to taste your arousal on his tongue. Her inner walls were clenching around nothing, craving for something the emptiness Bodhi’s skillful tongue had left down there. 
“I need you,” You whispered against his lips, and his cock twitched between your pressed bodies. “Inside,’ You clarified, making him chuckle slightly as he positioned himself, sliding his dick against your pussylips to lube himself with your cum. “Inside, mh? What do you need inside,” Fucking prick. “Your cock-ah…” You pressed your forehead against his as he kept holding onto your hand, his other one gently massaging your inner thigh as he sheathed into you slowly, watching your every reaction. “Is this okay?” He frowns slightly, his forehead moving away from yours to kiss your nose gently. His heavy breathing fanned over your cheeks, tickling them slightly. You smiled and squeezed his hand in reassurance, moving your free hand to cup his chin. “Yes,” You affirm confidently, rolling your hips against him. 
He groaned, plunging his cock in your entrance in one thrust of his hips. His jaw twitched under your fingers, and you moved it to his shoulder. “Don't hold back, I can take it,” He tilts his head back at your words and growls, as if you had unleashed the beast in him. He rutted into you, his head hitting you deep, and fast. The sound of your raspy breathing and the slapping of his balls against your wetness echoed in the room, and you prayed to the gods that he had warded his room, because if he didn't, the whole quadrant would probably hear you chanting his name like a prayer. There was no way you could hold it back. Not when he was fucking you as if it was the last time. 
Your thigh trembled, your eyes rolled back, and Bodhi held your chin between his fingers so he could admire your features contorting as you came. “That's it… Good girl…” He grunted, his pace slowing nust for a moment as he led you through your orgasm. You breath out a needy whimper when Bodhi's cock slipped out of you, and he flipped you onto your stomach. You could feel the drenched sheets pressing against your pelvis in this position. He slid a pillow underneath your hips, pressing his hardness against your throbbing cunt, and bent down to reach your ear. “Think you can take a bit more for me?” You nodded, wiggling your hips to rub against him.
He hummed, biting onto your shoulder as he entered you once again, this time, slowly. You felt his abs twitch against your back with every thrust, his hand had left yours, now caressing your body with both hands. He held your hip gently, and his other hand worked on your perked niple, gently rolling it between his thumb and index. You were seeing stars, and you felt like you were floating on a cloud. Sex had never felt like this before, and you'd give your soul to Malek if this was the last time you'd have the chance to experience that. His thrust started to feel sloppier, and you could hear his breathing getting raspy. “Fuck,” He swore, his fingers digging tightly into your the flesh of your hip. His other hand slid between your legs, his fingers applied a light pressure to your overstimulated clit and you screamed in pleasure, arching your ass up. Bodhi couldn't hold it back anymore, he grunted, pulling out in one swift movement and his sperm spurted on your back. 
He almost came again at the sight of your ass and your back covered with his semen and love bites. Gods you were beautiful, sprawled like this on his bed, panting, sweating, disheveled… He would keep you in his bed, dress you in his clothes, and cover you with his marks everyday if you'd allow him to. He sat on his knees, his fingers running through your hair in a failed attempt to untangle them. He gave your ass a small smack before reaching his arm towards the tissue box on the nightstand to clean you up. He wiped your back clean, then massaged your muscles with his large hands. He bent over to kiss your cheek, and his heart melted when you turned on your back to pull him on top, kissing his lips as lovers would. 
You stroked his hair when he pulled his lips away from you, still snuggled on you, his elbow holding his weight a little so he doesn't crush you. “I need to use the toilet.” You smiled tiredly, and you rolled out of bed, wincing at how sore your legs were. You extended your arm towards Bodhi’s shirt on the floor and slipped it on. “Will you…” You heard him speak up hesitantly. You pear at him over your shoulder, je was sprawled on the bed, propped onto his arm, the sheets messily covering all the way up to his waist. “Yeah?” You insisted to him to continue his request, “Will you… Come back to bed, after?” You smiled, leaning in the doorframe of his bathroom. “Yeah. Is that okay?” You winked at him, and his heart skipped a beat. “Excellent…” He exhaled, a dumb grin stuck on his face as he plopped down onto the bed, stretching his legs as he waited for you to come out of the bathroom. Cuir was right. He was pathetically smitten by this woman. And he was fucking proud of it. 
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velvetlilacsdaisies · 8 months
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Stay Still | B. Durran |
Bodhi Durran x fwb!fem!Reader
Word Count: 2.8k
Warnings: NSFW, SMUT, MDNI, swearing, p in v, (unprotected sex pls pls be safe), cockwarming, not proofread well, switch!Bodhi, possessive!Bodhi, bratty!reader, poorly written smut, smut with little plot
A/n: hehhe this came out of my ass idk what got into me during my reading bonanza last night 🤭. I just felt truly inspired to try to write a full smut. This is my first official smut I’ve wrote so I would love feedback to improve on it if you have it, but I hope you find this as fun as I did!!
You sighed boredly laying on Bodhi’s bed, stomach pressed against the plush mattress, idly looking over a book about runes you tried to occupy your thoughts with. It had been thirty minutes since you arrived at the Section Leader’s door looking for some company in nothing but your black dressing robe and matching tiny nightgown underneath. Anticipating when he opened his door, he’d haughtily pull you into his quarters and ravish you like a man starved…but no. He merely gave you a once over before letting you in, and sat back at his desk doing his research on wards for Xaden.
You wanted to help as much as he did with resurrecting the wardstones for your friends, but now it had impeded on yours and his arrangement. It’s been two weeks since you last found yourself in the embrace of the man you craved, and you were desperate for the attention you lacked. It had become an unspoken routine you two had secretly engaged in since after Threshing last year. Only using each other other than for just distractions from the trials of surviving the Rider’s Quadrant at night, while during the day you were just squad mates.
You could feel another wave of heat go through your core at the thought of the secret that the two of you shared. You had been fighting the wanton desire since the last time you had found each other. Not that you weren’t satisfied by Bodhi, but you never stopped wanting him it had become glaringly obvious for you. You had even resorted to giving into flirty banter with Ridoc in front of him to get the Flame Section Leader’s acknowledgment, left with not even a sarcastic remark or scolding look on his part. Since Violet returned from Samara, there was a dire urgency to find answers on the wardstone.
But today was exemplarily tougher to push that ache down. After a rather intensive Flame Section sparring session after classes, you had been forced to watch Bodhi spar without drooling. His shirt discarded halfway through the session when he was challenged by Sawyer, the sweat glistening off his chiseled muscles. As if he knew the effect he had on you. The relic that swirled over his bulky biceps and veiny forearms and his dragon relic that loitered on the back of his left sharp shoulder blade down to the side of his refined torso. You had to take an extra cold shower once all the girls left the locker room to calm the burning desire that consumed you which proved to be no help.
You got off the bed, and made your way to him feeling impatient as your core throbbed once more. His back was towards you, displaying his relics that you admired and worshiped in the solace of the night. Your arms wrapping around his chest from behind, your nails lightly scratching his broad bare chest.
“Boh,” you whined, nipping at his earlobe. “Are you done yet?” You asked, a simper to your tone. The arousal in between your legs getting too heavy to bare, and clenching your thighs was no longer an option to fight the want for him. You wanted him now. No—you needed him, and you weren’t going to deprive yourself another minute.
“I don’t have much longer until I finish this section.” He murmured. He screwed his eyes shut trying to focus on the text in front of him, tilting his neck out of instinct to the side letting your lips press needy kisses down to his shoulder.
He had known when he saw you at your door in your skimpiest night clothes what you wanted. Finally making a move in the unintentional stalemate between the both of you. It didn’t fall on to blind eyes the way you went out of your way to be bratty throughout the last two weeks, attempting to get a rise out of him. It almost worked, but never being a jealous man, and clever enough to see right through you. The flirty comments to Ridoc, the way he could feel your alluring eyes burn holes into him during any time he was in the vicinity of you. He almost felt guilty leaving you hanging and to resort to blatant facades of making him jealous, a silent plea to just take you already.
He wanted to do nothing, but to fuck you and remind you who you belonged to.
You looked enticing, and every primal thought that flooded his mind he pushed down to the back of his mind when you appeared in front of his door. The churam he smoked an hour ago doing nothing to stop his chest from hammering, and the blood rushing to his manhood, twitching, at the sight of you. He had to use every ounce of his self discipline to keep his composure in check, letting you in without pouncing, devouring you like he wanted. Xaden would arrive back in Basgiath tomorrow expecting intel, and he hadn’t gotten very far in his research besides dead ends.
Your name got stuck in his throat barely sputtering it out as you sucked on the spot that you knew drove him wild, the conjunction of his neck and shoulder.
You weren’t exclusive with Bodhi, but you had learned everything about him that made him tick. From the littlest things like how his eyes lingered when your flight jacket was slightly undone bearing the slightest bit of cleavage in the low cut tank top you wore underneath—to what made him absolutely feral—the feeling of your lips with your teeth marking his sweet spot that would be barely concealed by the collar of his tight black training shirt the next day. Noting how he would wear the mark proudly like the patches on his jacket. Having a boyish grin when a squad mate would bring it up playing coy. No one knew they were left by you.
“I’ll help you after…” you purred, your hands traveling down his torso to the waistband of his night pants. Fingers nimbly tracing the barely grown out hair that led underneath the cotton. “I’ve been waiting weeks for you.” You pouted before peppering more kisses on his cheeks, feeling satisfied at the sharp intake of air he took at the movement.
You would get your way, there would be no other outcome of you showing up at his door tonight than to be ruined by Bodhi Durran.
“I’m expected to have something to report on tomorrow.” He protested weakly, savoring your mouth against jaw, but still keeping his eyes on the parchment.
His dissolve was close to crumbling, feeling the cold fingertips slip underneath his waistband. All he wanted to do was bend you over his desk, imagining your cheek pressed to the ancient texts laid out on the wooden surface as he railed into you from behind. His cock hardened more at the idea of him inside you.
“Xaden won’t-” you were cut off by the scrape of the wooden chair against the stone floor making you stumble backwards slightly. Bodhi abruptly slid his bottoms down, revealing half hardened manhood, sitting back down in the chair.
“C’mere,” he growled. His tone had a dangerous lilt to it, only making the wetness that had pooled in your panties grow more. His usual warm brown eyes blown out filled with something more than lust.
Your throat ran dry, obeying as you stepped in between his legs. He leaned his forehead against your stomach, inhaling steady breaths as if he could smell your arousal. His rough hands gripping your bare outer thighs before slipping under your nightgown, roughly kneading the soft flesh of your ass. Then he hooked his fingers around the fabric of your undergarments dragging them down your legs.
“You want me to fuck you, but have another man’s name leave your lips?” He gritted out through his, barely speaking above a whisper.
Bodhi knew he was overreacting, but when his cousin’s name came out of your mouth, his primal instincts came bubbling to the surface. A feral fire fueling him, no longer to be tamed. How dare you bring up Xaden, when you came here solely looking for relief from him after acting the way you’ve been.
You were taken aback by the words, leaving you stammering. “I-I’m sorry, Boh..”
This was a new side to him, you’ve never seen before. A nervous pang made your heart skip a beat, though excited at the aggressiveness in his actions.
“You think I haven’t noticed what you’ve been doing the last two weeks?” He cupped the back of one of your thighs, bringing a leg over his. “Think you were being sly?” He questioned.
You shook your head furiously, forgetting how to speak momentarily.
He pinched the inside of your thigh, only adding to the fire that blazed in your core, a soft gasp leaving your slacked jaw. “Use your words, babygirl.”
“N-no,” the words airily released from your throat, a pink tint to your cheeks.
He smirked, a dry laugh escaping him. “That's what I thought.” He dragged your other leg over his so you were now straddling him, knees perched on the extra wide seat. “Since you want to be a brat, you can sit on my cock until I’m done here.” He held his member with one hand, pumping slowly. “You got it?”
You gulped, watching how it twitched ever slightly, and his shoulders relaxed as he held himself. Nodding eagerly, biting your lip, still looking between the both of you awaiting for him to be inside you.
His free hand wrapped around your hair, pulling it, forcing you to look in his eyes. “What did I say about your words?” He growled. A soft moan left your lips at the gesture. His darkened brown eyes wavered in hunger and pride at the reaction.
“Y-yes, please…” you begged, feeling him rub the tip against your slick folds.
“Good girl, so wet for me,” he groaned.
He slowly inserted himself at your entrance, his hand finding your hip to help lower yourself on to him until he bottomed out inside you. His thick member stretching you out in a blissful sting that he could make you feel. You both sighed at the feeling, and you rested your head in the crook of his neck holding on to him with a near death grip.
You could feel yourself throb as he went back to working. His hands lightly brushing your sides every time he flipped a page or went to jot a note down in his notebook, causing jolts to go down your body. You tried to grind your hips to provide the teeniest bit of relief, Bodhi would only grip your thighs with a bruising force.
“Stay still,” he hissed, his head rolling back as he felt you clench around him again. A small smirk graced your lips, an idea coming to your mind.
One of your hands slid in between you, and found your clit. You moaned, as your fingers circled the sensitive nub.
“Y/n…” he warned, listening to the sweet noises you made in his ear, gripping the quill in his hand tightly. He had thought he had the upper hand in this, but as you touched yourself, his cock warming your insides, he felt the remaining bit of his dissolve crumble. “You’re such a fucking brat.” He held your hips, halting your movements.
“Do something about it then.” You challenged, pressing a chaste kiss to his full lips.
He thrusted up into you, sounds sweet as sin coming from your throats. A wicked smile twisted on to your face, finally. “I fully intend to.” He mumbled, pulling you into another kiss, this time longer and heated. You nipped at his lower lip, earning a hiss from him as you slipped your tongue into his mouth.
Drilling into you at a slow agonizing pace, your tongues fought for dominance, the kiss becoming broken up between strings of noises leaving the both of you. The slow burn pleasure painstakingly from the pace he had set. You tried to lower yourself up and down to go at a faster pace and to your dismay he slowed his movements more, squeezing your hips in caution.
You pulled away panting, “more.” You were a whimpering mess, frustrated to find your release. “Please, Bodhi.”
“Just because you get what you want doesn’t mean you still can’t be punished.” A lazy smirk etched on to his broad jaw. “I have to remind you who you belong to.”
He slowly thrusted up into you again, making you cry out. His face contorted to a look of pleasure as he provided deep slow strokes into you, the sight of him biting his now bruised lip heavenly.
“I’m yours, please.” You begged, nails biting into his shoulders. “Only yours.” You cried when he thrusted particularly harder when you said that.
“Y’ feel so good around me.” He drawled. “Like your pussy was made for me, sweetheart.” His words caused an effect on your whole body from your pussy clenching harder around him to your heart swelling from the praise.
The atmosphere felt entirely different from the usual casual hook ups from before. His forehead resting against yours, occasionally nuzzling your nose with his whispering lines of worship for you taking his time.
“Feels so good,” you panted, looping your fingers in his curls at the nape of his neck. You could feel yourself go dumb as his fingers found your clit, circling it with the same agonizing pace of his cock. You don’t know how much of this you could take. “Please, please, please let me ride you.”
“Do you deserve to ride me?” He taunted in between thrusts.
You nodded vigorously, “please let me make you feel good, Boh. Please.”
He stopped playing with your clit, bringing his fingers to your swollen lips. You sucked your juices off of them, tasting yourself as he leaned back in the chair.
“Mm, since you’ve been begging so nicely.” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
The moans you released as you fucked yourself onto Bodhi’s cock were angelic. Letting you lower yourself up and down, watching as you got lost, getting drunk on his manhood. His hands had a firm grip on your waist, helping guide you down his length.
“That’s it, ride me like the good slut you are.” He watched your cunt sink onto him, swallowing his length whole.
You could start to feel the familiar coil of release start to come undone, and you knew you weren’t gonna last long. The sounds of your slick and his pants encouraging you to go faster.
Bodhi sensed the way you gripped him, you were going to climax, and met your rhythm bucking his hips upward. “You gonna come f’me?” He asked.
You could only mewl in response, the pleasure rendering you speechless as you rode him harder. Your vision blurred with stars, your body going rigid from the surge of tingling pleasure that electrified your body. The coil finally unraveling in your core as you orgasmed. You let out a throaty moan that was muffled by his lips, kissing passionately.
The tawny skinned man didn’t stop his movements, feeling his own release chasing yours. His aching cock twitched in need of relief. He muttered curses, his pace getting sloppier as he whimpered your name.
“Come for me, Boh.” You whispered softly. His arms wrapped tightly around your midsection, clinging to you like his life depended on it as he kept fucking you.
You felt the twitch, and his release shoot into you, a guttural groan following it. Feeling the mix of your arousals seeping out of you, his cock throbbing.
The heavy breathing from the both of you was the only noise in the room, you two staying in the position. You lightly scratched his scalp letting him regain his composure, his arms loosely holding you still. After a minute, he leaned away looking at you silently.
The intense gaze made you self conscious, clearing your throat as indication you were getting up. His arms only tightened around you once more, but he let his cock sink out of you, feeling your releases cover both of your thighs.
“I should get going,” you stated bluntly.
“Stay the night?” He reached over for the t-shirt that was crumpled on the floor beside his desk. Gingerly wiping you off first, being extremely gentle and careful to not be too abrasive with your sensitive parts, before he cleaned himself off.
You blinked in surprise, he never asked that before—let alone so nonchalant. You two never stayed too long in one another’s quarters after, let alone spend the night with one another. This would encroach the boundaries you mentally placed on this arrangement, ultimately entangling what you had already felt for the man in front of you.
“Aren’t you worried someone will see?” You asked warily.
He offered his usual boyish grin. “That’s kind of the point, sweetheart.”
Personally the pacing was weird for me to write, but I hope it gave you guys what you needed! The idea of fwb possessive Bodhi now has me in a chokehold lmao. Like I said, I am always open to improvements and feedback as this was a bit out of my comfort zone 🫶🏻🩷
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midnighttrainns · 2 months
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secrets always come out, bodhi durran
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bodhi durran x marked fem!reader
warnings: sadness ig, swearing like once, that’s all i can think of :)
summary: when bodhi keeps secrets and reader finds out things don’t go too well, things are said and done that can’t be undone but maybe it will be forgiven.
word count: 917
a/n: this is short & shit cause i pulled it out of my ass. i wrote this in like 1hr and it’s barely edited it’s also only me second fic so yeah. anyways hope u enjoy 💋
masterlist
part 2
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It’s my first year at Basgiath War College in the Rider’s Quadrant. Imogen is as close to being my sister as she can without being blood-related, I couldn’t have made it this far into the year without her. Xaden and Garrick too, are like brothers to me. I was never that close to Bodhi growing up seeing as he was the reason my pet butterfly flew away and like any little girl, I was devastated. Now, he is my boyfriend. 
I’m sitting on my bed in my shared room with my friend, Hannah when a knock at the door interrupts my reading. I open the door to Violet standing on the other side looking quite distressed. 
“Violet, what’s wrong?” I question. Luckily Hannah isn’t here,
“How do you do it?” Violet asks.
“Do what?” At this point, I’m confused. She has come to me for advice when we are barely friends and I have no idea what she is talking about.
“The riders quadrant, relationships, the rebellion. Although I’m guessing that your boyfriend doesn’t lie t-”
“Rebellion? What rebellion?” I cut off Violet’s rambling not caring enough for what she is saying next when she just mentioned a rebellion. I see her face drop as she realises I didn’t know and she just let something secret slip.
“I-I thought you knew because you’re dating Bodhi and- and are friends with Xaden and everyone else.” she rambles trying to explain without giving me an actual answer.
“What rebellion Violet?” I ask harsher this time. She explains everything she knows and as soon as she finishes explaining I rush out the door leaving her in my room. I walk down the hallway to Bodhi’s room, knocking on the door and when there is no answer I go to Xaden’s room.
“y/n are you okay?” He asks after opening the door and seeing how I must look.
I look past him into his room seeing Bodhi in there. “Let me in,” I demand Xaden and he opens the door wider, grabbing my arm and pulling me through the wards of his room, shutting the door behind him.
“I cannot believe you,” I point an accusing finger at Bodhi before turning to Xaden “I can’t believe neither of you told me!”
“Told you what, y/n?” Bodhi questions, stepping closer to me.
Tears are welling in my eyes and a few escape running down my cheeks. “The fucking rebellion! What else would I be talking about?” I see Bodhi’s face drop. He stands there for a long second running his hand through his hair, looking at Xaden unsure what to do next and if he was allowed to explain.
“We were going to tell you,” Bodhi starts.
“Really? When?” My voice rises, I’m getting angrier and tears are welling in my eyes.
“Look, it’s complicated, y/n. We don’t want to put you in danger and I knew if we told you, you would want to do weapon runs with us. It’s just too dangerous, you need to focus on your first year.” Bodhi tries explaining again.
“Not too dangerous for you though” I snark back at him.
Before anyone could say anything else Xaden jumps in, “Y/n, you are overwhelmed right now. How about you take a walk and return in an hour then we can explain everything. Okay?”
“No. No. Once I walk out that door I am not coming back. I am done with all of you. You are no longer my friends. I never want to talk to you again save your explanations because I don’t care. Once I walk out that door don’t ever think of me again, don’t come after me and don’t try to speak to me.” With that, I storm out the door tears running down my face.
I get to nearly Bodhi’s room before he comes chasing after me. “I told you to leave me alone,” I say spinning around to face him.
“Not out here y/n,” He responds gently grabbing my arm and leading us into his room.
“Bodhi look, maybe I’m overreacting but you lied to me and kept secrets. You have broken my trust and I don’t think I can be with someone that I don’t fully trust. I’m sorry.” The hurt look on his face makes me want to hug him and make him happier and to know that I caused it makes me sadder than it should considering the pain he has caused me today.
“I’m so sorry. I am extremely sorry y/n I- ”
“I don’t care for your apologies or explanations just let me go. Let me leave and if you earn my trust back I might give you a second chance.”
“So you're breaking up with me?”
“Yes. Bodhi I’m so sorry. I really am.”
“Me too y/n. I’m sorry too” He steps closer wrapping his arms around me. I let him, hugging him back equally as tight, this could be our last ever hug. And just then, I realise that I just broke up with the love of my life. I already regret it but it was for the best. I can’t be in a relationship when I don’t fully trust him and he doesn’t fully trust me and if I’m capable of helping the rebellion. And as I break our hug and walk away from Bodhi I can feel my heart breaking, my world turning upside down, my life changing for the worst. And it’s all my fault.
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sapchat · 7 months
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Fourth Wing idea
What if, like in House of the Dragon(GOT too I guess) that when a dragons rider was pregnant, their dragon laid an egg?
Cuz like in HOTD, Syrax would lay a clutch each time Rhaenyra was pregnant.
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soulofapatrick · 4 hours
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Between Battles and Breaths - Bodhi Durran x female reader 
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Summary: You can’t sleep, terrified of your enemy you’re facing tomorrow in the challenges and you find yourself seeking comfort in Bodhi 
Warnings: None 
Words: 2.6k
Y/N's POV
I can't sleep. The thought of who I’m up against in tomorrow's challenges has kept my mind racing for hours, churning over every possible scenario. My nerves are a live wire, and the gnawing certainty that this is one I’m not going to win gnashes at me. The others are better, faster, more experienced—and me? I’m just trying to make it through each day without making a fool of myself.
My feet drag across the floor as I pace, the creak of the wooden boards below me a repetitive comfort in the stillness of the night. I know I’ve practically worn a path into the carpet by now, walking the same few steps over and over, but it’s better than lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the panic to consume me. With a huff, I finally stop and run a hand through my hair, frustrated.
I can’t do this. Not like this.
Before I can think twice, I grab my flight leathers, pulling them on with shaking hands. It’s reckless, stupid even, to sneak out so close to curfew, but if I stay in this room for one more second, I’ll go mad. The air feels thick, suffocating, and I need to breathe.
The dormitory halls are quiet as I slip out of my room on the first year’s floor, the faint hum of the academy settling for the night, a reminder that I should be too. But instead of heading outside like I’d planned, something draws me upwards, my feet carrying me to the second-year floor before I’ve even realised what I’m doing.
I hesitate at the top of the stairs, wondering what exactly led me here. I’m not even sure how or why I ended up in front of his door—Bodhi Durran’s door. But I stop there, my hand hovering over the handle. The smart thing would be to turn back. He’s the last person I should be bothering right now, with my nerves as raw as they are, but there’s a pull in my chest that won’t let me leave.
Through the narrow gap in the door, I catch a glimpse of him.
Bodhi lies there, his chest rising and falling with deep, even breaths. The dim light from the window barely touches his face, but it’s enough to see the peaceful, almost boyish look that settles over him in sleep. His sharp features, usually so intense, are softened in this moment of calm. Tousled dark hair falls across his forehead, and there’s something about the way his brow is relaxed, the usual storminess in his expression completely at ease, that makes him look younger than usual, more vulnerable.
I should go, I think, taking a step back, but the thought sticks in my throat when he stirs. The slight rustle of the sheets is enough to send my heart skittering, and before I can react, Bodhi’s eyes flutter open, dark and still heavy with sleep.
He squints at me through the dim light, confusion crossing his face as his gaze lands on me standing hesitantly in the doorway. For a second, I don’t think he’s going to say anything at all, and I wonder if I should just leave before he fully wakes up.
But then his voice, rough and gravelly from sleep, cuts through the silence. “What are you doing here?” His tone is low, hoarse, and it sends a shiver down my spine. It’s not accusatory or irritated, just… curious, like he can’t quite believe I’m standing there.
And in this moment, neither can I.
His dark eyes take in my appearance, sweeping over me with a sharpness that leaves me feeling exposed, bare. A crease forms between his brows as he pushes the blankets aside and sits up, the confusion shifting into something else, something that makes my heart beat even faster. Without a word, Bodhi swings his legs over the edge of the bed, the sheets rustling as they fall away, revealing his body—lean and muscular, his chest broad and defined. He’s only wearing boxers, and it takes everything in me not to let my eyes linger on the way his muscles shift under his skin with each step as he moves toward me.
I feel breathless, like the air has been sucked out of the room, replaced with a thick tension that presses against my chest. My throat tightens with nerves, and I force myself to breathe, but it’s hard to focus when he’s so close, when the sight of him leaves my thoughts scattered, my body anxious in all the right ways.
Bodhi stops in front of me, his presence overwhelming, his gaze dark and steady. For a moment, neither of us says anything, and the silence between us feels charged, like the crackle of a storm about to break. Then, slowly, his hand reaches for mine.
The moment his fingers wrap around mine, it feels like I’ve been set on fire. His hand is large and calloused, rough from training and fighting, yet somehow warm and steady. My pulse quickens at the simple touch, the anxiety in my chest twisting into something deeper, more intense. His thumb grazes the back of my hand, sending a shiver racing up my spine, and I bite my lip to keep from gasping aloud.
“Come on,” he murmurs, voice still thick from sleep, tugging me gently into his room. The door closes softly behind me, the click of the latch echoing in the quiet space. His room is dimly lit, the moonlight slipping through the curtains casting long shadows across the floor. It’s sparse, with only a few personal touches—a pile of worn books on the bedside table, his boots kicked off haphazardly near the window—but it feels so undeniably him. Practical. Focused. Just like Bodhi.
He leads me toward his bed, his hand still holding mine, and the closer I get, the more overwhelmed I feel. The air between us is thick with unspoken words, a tension that leaves my thoughts spinning. I’ve always had a crush on Bodhi—who wouldn’t? But I never thought he’d look at me like this, with an intensity that makes my knees weak, that leaves me wanting something I can’t quite put into words.
“Sit,” he says softly, guiding me to the edge of the bed. My legs feel shaky as I lower myself onto the mattress, and Bodhi moves to his knees in front of me. The sight of him kneeling there, his face inches from mine, sends a sharp ache of longing through my chest. It’s a position that feels intimate, almost too intimate, and I have to resist the urge to reach out and touch him, to run my fingers through his dark, tousled hair and pull him closer.
I’m still trying to process what’s happening, still trying to catch my breath, when Bodhi’s hands reach for my boots. He works in silence, deft fingers unlacing the leather with a skill that speaks of years spent in flight leathers himself. When he finally pulls the boots off and sets them aside, his hands return to me, grazing the skintight leathers of my pants legs as he slides his palms slowly, deliberately, up toward my hips.
The touch sends a rush of heat through me, my pulse quickening as his fingers trail higher, a soft, feather-light touch that makes my breath hitch. His hands find their way around my back, moving with purpose but not rushing, until his fingers find the lacings of the dragon armour my brother made for me before I walked the parapet.
He undoes them with practiced ease, and I feel the tension in my chest loosen as the bindings fall away. The weight of the armour lifts, but it’s nothing compared to the weight in my heart, the yearning that’s only grown stronger the closer Bodhi gets.
I’ve wanted him for so long, and now, with him this close, his touch so careful and his gaze so intent, I can’t help but wonder if he’s wanted me too.
Bodhi stands and lifts the now-loosened corset armour from my shoulders, handling it with surprising care before placing it neatly on the chair by his desk. The room feels heavier in the quiet after the sound of the armour settling, my heart beating wildly in the stillness. When he turns back to me, his eyes drop to my waist, his fingers hovering just above my hips. His gaze flickers up to meet mine, and for a moment, everything stills.
He hesitates, his touch light, asking for permission without words.
I nod slightly, barely noticeable, but Bodhi catches it, and as soon as he does, my hips rise instinctively. His fingers deftly find the buttons of my flight leathers, working through each one with an unhurried precision that makes my pulse race. The heat of his touch burns through the leather, and when he finally shimmies the pants down my legs and to the floor, the sensation is almost overwhelming—his hands, warm and firm, feel like fire in my veins.
Once I’m free of the leathers, Bodhi moves away from me, crossing the room toward the washroom. I watch him through half-lidded eyes as he disappears for a moment, only to return with a worn shirt in hand. He approaches me with a soft look in his eyes, holding it out like a peace offering.
The shirt smells like him. There’s a faint woodsy scent, warm and earthy, like pine and leather, mixed with the sharper tang of the wind that always seems to cling to him after a day in the sky. Beneath it all, there’s something uniquely Bodhi, something comforting, steady, that grounds me even as my mind whirls with everything happening between us.
He turns his back to give me some privacy, and I waste no time. My shirt and bra come off quickly, discarded without thought, and I pull his shirt over my head. It’s too big, falling to mid-thigh and swallowing me in its softness, the fabric still warm from his skin. I take a breath, letting the scent of him wrap around me like a second skin, comforting in a way I didn’t expect.
By the time I’m done, Bodhi is already shuffling around me, his movements slow and sleepy, but purposeful. He climbs back under the covers and without hesitation, wraps a strong arm around my waist, pulling me toward him. The warmth of his body presses against mine, the heavy weight of his arm a reassuring presence as he draws the blankets over both of us.
He’s close—so close I can feel the rise and fall of his chest against my back, the heat of him chasing away the lingering chill in the room. His nose brushes against the back of my neck, and I shiver, not from cold but from the sensation of him so near. Bodhi’s thumb rubs slow, soothing circles along my waist, and it’s enough to make my body relax, melting into the space between us.
“What’s got you up in the middle of the night?” he mumbles, his voice soft and rough with sleep. His breath tickles my neck, warm and steady, and I can’t help but smile faintly at the quiet concern in his voice, even half-asleep.
I don’t answer right away, too lost in the feeling of him holding me, the weight of his arm a comfort I didn’t know I needed. The anxiety that had gnawed at me all night is still there, but it’s quieter now, softened by the way Bodhi holds me like I’m something worth protecting.
Finally, I murmur, “Just… tomorrow.” The words are barely more than a whisper, but Bodhi seems to understand, his arm tightening slightly around my waist in silent reassurance.
Bodhi pulls me even closer to his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat resonating against my back, anchoring me in this moment. His voice, still laced with sleep, drops to a low murmur, sending soft vibrations through me. “You’ve got this, you know,” he mumbles, warmth pooling in his words like honey. “You’ll kick their asses tomorrow.”
His confidence in me feels like a shield against the anxiety that had clawed at me all night. I can’t help but smile, feeling the tension in my chest ease just a little.
“And if that other guy tries anything outside the rules,” he continues, his voice dipping even lower, “he’ll have to deal with me.” There’s a protective edge to his tone that makes my heart flutter, the notion of Bodhi standing up for me sending a thrill through my veins.
He rests his chin atop my head, a gentle weight that feels comforting and safe. “You’re stronger than you think,” he adds softly, each word wrapping around me like a warm embrace. “Just remember that, and you’ll be unstoppable.”
In his arms, with his sweet reassurances washing over me, the fears that had once felt so insurmountable start to dissipate, replaced by a sense of calm. I close my eyes, breathing in the scent of him, feeling utterly enveloped in his warmth and unwavering support. 
Just as I’m falling asleep in, Bodhi is nudging me gently, urging me to roll over and face him. I comply, shifting so that I’m looking directly into his dark, expressive eyes. His hand finds my cheek, his touch warm and inviting, and heat floods my skin at the contact. It’s as if his palm ignites a fire against my cheek, sending a shiver of warmth spiralling through me.
He studies my face for a moment, a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips, and then he leans down, brushing a barely-there kiss against my lips. It’s sweet, feather-light, and it leaves me wanting more. My heart races, and before I can think, my hands find their way into his dark curls, relishing the silky softness of his hair between my fingers.
But it’s that soft kiss that sends all coherent thoughts flying from my mind, leaving me breathless and craving. Bodhi deepens the kiss, tilting his head to fit us perfectly together, and the world around us fades away. The taste of him is intoxicating—warm, with a hint of mint and something uniquely Bodhi that sends a spark of electricity through me.
His lips move against mine with a gentleness that contrasts the intensity of my racing heart, each brush igniting a heat that spreads through my entire body. It’s as if he’s exploring, learning every curve and contour of my lips, and I’m lost in the sensation.
Every nerve ending tingles as he kisses me properly, the connection between us growing more profound with each passing moment. There’s a sweetness to the way he cradles my face, a tenderness that makes my heart swell. I can feel his warmth radiating through the kiss, wrapping me in a cocoon of safety and longing.
When he finally pulls back, our lips lingering just a breath apart, I can’t help but chase his mouth for just another taste, a whisper of connection that leaves me craving more. The air between us is electric, thick with unspoken feelings, and in that moment, I know I’ve stepped into something beautiful, something I never want to end.
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Fourth Wing Masterlist - To be made Comment to be added to tag list
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biggestsimponhere · 1 year
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Cant wink - Cassian andor x reader, I don’t know what this is truly, i saw someone request it under a post i got tagged in except they made the comment in 2018 so this is for you, @dude-watchin-with-the-brontes , thank you for tagging me in that post ♥️ @hoeforevery1 , Gif from: @definitelyoneoftheguys
A/n - A little ooc cass at least i’m not sure if it’s really i’m character or not. Just enjoy it
When you’d entered the fresher shortly before lunch to find Cass looking in the mirror and blinking strangely you figured he had something in his eye. You didn’t mention it cause it didn’t seem worth mentioning so you just went about your day. When you’d caught him doing it a second time you assumed he must not have gotten it out of his eye. You didn’t know what he was trying to do until you all were sat trying to eat in the canteen.
He had attempted to wink following a flirtatious joke at you. Which he had failed the wink miserably. He had started eating a cookie before his lunch and you pointed it out. “Dessert before lunch is unusual for you cass” You said skeptically. “I know something else i could have for dessert before lunch” He commented before blinking strangely. You looked at him for a solid thirty seconds before bursting out laughing. In between breaths you spoke “Cass, did you just try to wink at me” you laughed breathing in heavily. Jyn laughed too. “Is that what you’ve been doing all day, i thought you had something in your eye” She said hitting him on the shoulder.
You continued laughing as you agreed with jyn. “If you’re just gonna make fun of me, i’ll leave” Cassian said pouting slightly. “I’m sorry honey, i just assumed with the fact that you’re such a good spy that you would know how to wink” You said taking his hand in yours. It only took a minute for everyone to start laughing again. “I can’t believe you can’t wink” Bodhi said snickering. “Alright i’m done” He said getting up and walking out of the canteen. You noticed he’d left his food so you slid your food onto his tray and then headed towards the kitchen.
Quickly asking if you could take the tray and the dishes the staff agreed as long as you promised to bring it back (you usually do). So you left the canteen with the tray and went off in search of Cassian. He was right where you expected him to be. Sat on his bed absentmindedly drawing on the spare pieces of paper. “Cass” You said drawing out his name as you say by him. “I brought your lunch… and the rest of mine” You continued as you settled in next to him. He leaned in closer to your touch but otherwise didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry” You said quietly. He shook his head “No, no, it’s silly, you don’t have to apologize” He said rushing it out.
“Cass, it clearly affected you so i do have to apologize and i am sorry, if i knew it was gonna hurt you like that i wouldn’t have done it” You said leaning into him while wrapping an arm around him. He smiled and leaned into you. The two of you just sat together before he pointed out that the food was getting cold. You ate together before he stopped and looked at you. He stared at you a few seconds before you spoke up. “Yes cass?” He looked down and then back up quickly. “Will you help me learn how to wink?” He said fast as if the words wouldn’t come out any other way. “I can definitely try” You said brushing the hair off his forehead.
The rest of your time before dinner was spent laughing together as you attempted to wink at each other with his blushing and you actually winking while he continued to blink strangely. He’ll get it eventually.
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samspenandsword · 2 years
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Kinktober 2022/23 Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Summary: Kinktober Day 24 — Tender Sex with Bodhi Rook Pairing: Bodhi Rook/Reader; fem!reader with no mentions of her appearance. Rating: Explicit, 18+ (Younglings, foundlings, and cadets BEGONE!) Warnings: Explicit sexual content, smut; tender sex, unprotected PIV (PRACTICE SAFE SEX), oral sex (f!receiving), “we survived” sex, romantic sex, fluffy bullshit in Kinktober sue me, body worship, Bodhi Rook and Rogue One deserved better, no dialogue.  Word Count: 2.2k
Sam's Pen and Sword Kinktober 2023 Taglist Form
The last few days were a flurry of blurry memories flashing past your eyes at the speed of light. And the way certain parts were illuminated, perfectly clear, and other parts were darkened and hazy definitely reminded you of hyperspace.
Your life in general had practically shot into hyperspace this last week. What had started as a simple mission to Jedha to recover a defected Imperial pilot and the message he carried had turned into a crucial turning point in the war against the Empire.
The sound of the beaches of Scarif echoed in your ears, the crashing of the water on the sound, the mild crunch of boots dipping into the sands and scattering the grains in their determined, rebellious wake.
You could feel the phantom weight of the blaster in your hands, the weight of the vibroblade down your boot, the weight of the bandolier and rifle strapped across your chest and back.
You could feel the lingering tension gripping you — a tension born from not only desperation, but the thrill of battle. The intoxicating idea that this might it.
You could do it.
You could beat the Empire.
And even if you couldn't, you could still give them the proverbial middle finger and drag them down to hell with you.
Now, a week later, the victorious Rebellion had scattered, evacuating Yavin 4 as soon as possible following the destruction of the Death Star. You could see the flash of light still, a glorious sight and one you'd thoroughly dedicated to every comrade and innocent lost to the Empire.
Even before they'd risen to power, the Empire had destroyed the lives of millions. As far as you were concerned, you would fight for them as long as the Empire dared to exist.
You rolled your shoulders against the rising feeling of anger. A lingering thing. The devastation would come later, you knew. The loss of your home of Jedha was a loss shared by many, including Chirrut and Baze. Your family had long been gone but you could remember so clearly the days of walking the streets with your mother, buying groceries for your family. You could remember the days of your father combing the grains of sand from your hair. You still couldn't look at a comb without seeing his smile in your mind.
The destruction of the Death Star flashed across your memory again, pushing away the way you still, all these years later, grieved for your family.
A knock sounded at the door of your new quarters. Until the Rebellion could find a suitable moon or planet to house a new home base, the Alliance was scattered across the Outer Rim, occupying safe houses and outposts until the call was raised saying a new base had been found.
Answering the door, a smile grew across your face.
Bodhi's hair was loose and damp around his shoulders, and he wasn't wearing the usual jumpsuit he'd practically lived in the last week. Between everything that had happened, there'd been no time to stop, no time to pause. From Jedha, to Eadu, to Yavin, the Scarif, to Yavin again, to the siege against the Death Star, to the award ceremony and evacuation, there hadn't really even been time to stop and breathe.
And now, as you looked into Bodhi's warm eyes, you felt as if you were finally coming out of hyperspace and emerging into the calm of the stars.
Bodhi kissed you tenderly. Tension released from him the second his lips touched yours, the contact calming something inside the both of you. His usual anxiousness melted away into a calm, gentle affection, his hands cupping your face reverently.
It felt so natural to kiss Bodhi like this. Tenderly, languidly, slowly. Actually taking the time, as much as you wanted, to express how you felt. None of the frenzied, harried tearing of clothes or mashing of lips as a result of the fear of battle and death and defeat.
You and Bodhi had experienced more than enough battle and death and defeat in the last week. Just as much as you had experienced hope, and determination, and victory.
Jedha may have been gone, and this war with the Empire was not over by a long shot, and you weren't sure what the future had in store for you, but you were here now. With Bodhi.
And the knowledge of that, the sheer relief it brought, sprung tears to your eyes as you basked in his achingly tender kiss.
Inhaling deep against his skin and enjoying the clean scent of him, and the softness of his hair tickling your cheek, you and Bodhi guided each other to the bed.
His weight against you grounded you better than anything else ever had. Ever would. With Bodhi here, you didn't think about the sting of sand or the heat of blaster fire against your skin. You didn't think of the ringing in your ears, brought on by the onslaught of explosions and walkers shaking the beaches. You didn't think of the water lapping against your boots, so warm and sloshing so loud in your ears it felt and sounded more like blood. You could smell him, the lingering memory of the spices of home comforting you instead of distressing you, blocking out the burning, metallic, ozonous scent of space and your burning cockpit. You could feel him, not the rumble of the ship around you as Jedha City collapsed into ash on top of you. Behind your eyes was nothing but blissful peace, not the foreboding sight of a strange, shadowing eclipse on the horizon. His hands stroked along your back, so much more soothing than the onslaught of Eadu's rain. His beard against your skin made you shiver pleasantly, the feeling of it so familiar, and yet so unlike the terrible scratching of your battle-worn fatigues.
Bodhi was here. You were here.
Together.
And you focused on that, preferring not to think about how very close the both of you came to not being here.
Bodhi's hair was silk against your calluses as you pressed yourself into him. Legs entangled, hands stroking and gentle, neither of you were in the mood to rush this.
You could never get enough of this. Never get enough of Bodhi. Sweet, gentle, brave Bodhi. A rebel to the core, this victory would not have happened without him. If he had never defected from the Empire and brought Erso's precious message to Saw Gerrera, the Death Star would still be out there. And more than just Jedha City, Scarif, and Alderaan would have been lost to their relentless pursuit of domination. He was an endlessly brave man who stuttered when he was anxious. An ace pilot who still got nervous when he flew. An Imperial traitor, a rogue rebel. Sweet, precious Bodhi who reminded you of home, of everything you'd lost, and every reason why you chose to fight. Bodhi, who'd been tortured at the hands of Saw Gerrera but had still chosen to join the Rebellion anyway, because he believed in Galen Erso's message, and believed in the cause. Bodhi, who in a moment of panic, had given your crew, your family their name, and piloted you into the heart of a hopeless mission. Bodhi, who wanted to be brave, to do better, to make up for his mistakes, who volunteered for a suicide mission to Scarif, escaped by the sheer luck of a faulty charge, and then jumped right back in when it was time to attack the Death Star.
Just... Bodhi.
You couldn't help pulling away from his kiss, just for a moment, to stare at him. To make sure he was real. He was there with you. He was here.
With you.
Oh, those eyes of his. They not only reminded you of home, but had perhaps become your new home.
You weren't sure what Bodhi saw in your expression, but whatever it was made him bring his lips to your forehead.
A tear fell down your cheek.
Bodhi kissed his way down your features, pressing his lips to you like he was tracing the constellation of your body. Your temple, your cheek, your nose, your jaw, your ear, your neck, your collar, your shoulder, your chest. Down, all the way down your middle, to your waist, where he slid his hands beneath the hem of your shirt to peel it away from your skin.
He kissed his way back up, mapping each new part of you that was revealed to him. He lingered at your collar, nuzzling his face to your chest and listening to your heart beat for him.
He pressed a kiss to your heart, and you swore you fell even more in love with him right then and there.
Bodhi caressed down your body, stroking every dip and curve, his tender kisses following just behind. His touch was warm, but it still made goosebumps and shivers rake your body, the attention gentle, but oh, so thorough. As Bodhi dipped into the valley of your breasts, pressing a firmer, lingering kiss there, you gasped quietly, your knees crooking to cage his slim body between your thighs.
His lips trailed across your breast, tongue darting out to massage across your nipple, and a gasp of his name escaped you.
Bodhi.
He hummed into your skin, nuzzling the warmth of your breast and stroking your skin comfortingly.
Bodhi lapped and sucked at your breasts steadily, enjoying the feeling of your little nipples swelling under his tongue. He released them long enough to watch them pebble even further without his warm mouth worshipping and warming them. He loved the sight.
A warmth had started to build in your core, tightening and curling inside you in an achingly wonderful, slow climb.
His soft hands massaged your breasts as his lips trailed down the curve of your waist. You sighed into the touch, legs falling further open as he slid down your body, until his shoulders were seated between them.
His fingers, soft from the constant wear of his pilot's gloves, popped the button of your pants, lips kissing the skin beneath your navel as he dragged the zipper open.
He breathed a question into your skin, and as you gave your permission, he helped you slip from your pants, him continuing to kiss and worship each new part of you.
Until he decided to worship a more intimate part of you.
His kisses were still so tender and oh, so thorough as he covered every inch of your most intimate areas with affection. His tongue darted out, lapping up your folds, unhurried in his tasting of you. You sighed blissfully, fingers slipping into his silky hair. Bodhi's praise was rumbled into you, before he pressed an open kiss to your clit.
You trembled beneath him.
Bodhi's pace was still unhurried, languorous, but held a fervor to it as he alternated licking through your lips and core to swirling your clit in his mouth with gentle sucks. Your gentle moans mixed with his, both of you contentedly caught up in the other.
Bodhi prodded your entrance with his tongue, one of his soft fingers replacing it seconds later. He slipped into you with ease, your moan louder than before. You felt the curve of his smiling lips press against your clit again, closing around it as he crooked his finger in a massage of your slick walls.
Bodhi. Bodhi. Bodhi. It was a chant encompassing your mind and heart as he brought you to your high, a second finger slipping inside you as he sucked your clit in a wonderful, blissful pulse. You were being consumed by the feeling of his ministrations, caught up in the knowledge that he was there with you, that you were alive, you survived, against all odds, and consumed in Bodhi, and the bond forged in the fires of war and loss and shared hope and impossible victory.
Your walls fluttered as Bodhi coaxed you into a shattering orgasm with nothing other than his tender affection. You trembled and shivered as it raked through your body. Bodhi kissed his way up your shaking body, drinking in your moans and scent. Your voice, your scent, your touch. It all reminded him of how far he'd come, and of home.
You were his home now.
And he basked in that feeling as he slid into you.
As he came home.
So overcome were the both of you, in the feeling of simply being there, in the feeling of each other, the thrust of his hips into yours, the heat of your silken walls around him, his lips on your neck, your hands in his hair, his own cupping your hips and back, your breasts against his chest. It was all so intimate and passionate and still so unhurried.
You didn't know what tomorrow would bring. But for now, you had this. Him, inside you, and you, holding him close.
Bodhi came first, his cum warming your core and heart. It triggered your own release, your walls pulsing around him.
You and Bodhi came down together. His fingers trailed over your curves as he softened inside you. Warm in the afterglow, you stroked his hand into a semblance of order, unable to swallow your smile at the swell of his lips and darkened hue of his gorgeous eyes.
Bodhi returned your smile and brought your lips back together.
Again, you didn't know what tomorrow would brin. If it would bring retaliation, or danger, or a new base, or a new mission. But for now, you had here. And now.
You had each other.
You were home.
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scorpioriesling · 4 months
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Tight Black Leathers
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
Pairing(s): Liam x reader
Warnings: SMUT, mdni, 18+
Summary: As Liam's girlfriend, you've been feeling rather... fed up, lately, that he's been ordered to hang out all day with another female. So... whatever will you do about it?
SR’s Note: Ooh, switching it up with a Fourth Wing fic? Okay, okay... and yes of course, Liam is my favorite character from Fourth Wing. No, I still haven't recovered. No, I probably never will. Denial is a river in Egypt-
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
You clicked the power button on your phone once more, checking fruitlessly to see if your boyfriend had responded to your message. Of course, he hadn't -- but you'd expected as much. It was Friday, which meant he was on Violet-duty today, per usual.
With a sigh, you tucked the device into your pocket, zipping it shut as a familiar voice approached behind you.
"Hey Y/N!" Rhiannon's usual bubbly tone made you smile, and she took in your state. Her face softened as she took you in a warm embrace. You appreciated the kindness she offered you -- her friendship was a priceless one you'd made after crossing the parapet. She was one of the only people, other than your boyfriend, who truly understood how hard it was to be a rider when you were meant your whole life to be a healer instead.
"Still haven't heard from him?" She asks softly, releasing you. You shake your head, and she loops her arm through yours, pulling you with her in a cadence down the dormitory hallway.
"Well, there's no point in waiting around doing nothing," she starts. "We may as well have some lunch, hmm?" As if on cue, your stomach gurgles, and you both chuckle at the sound. You truly couldn't be more grateful -- you hadn't eaten all morning.
Entering the cafeteria, you find your squad -- well, most of them. Imogene's unmissable pink hair shakes back and forth as she listens to a ridiculous story Ridoc recounts; Sawyer is laughing at something Bodhi is saying across the table. You can't help but wonder...
"Hey guys!" Ridoc greets Rhiannon and you with a smile, but you only continue to search the tables near you. Imogene folds her arms over her chest, sitting back in her chair.
"He's not here," she says, and you look to her. Rhiannon takes a seat, motioning for you to sit by her, but you only stare at Imogene in hopes she'll keep talking. "Violet took the lunch break to get in extra training time, so-"
You squeeze your eyes shut, head dropping to face the floor. You'd been missing him so much recently, since Xaden assigned him to follow your fellow cadet around like a guardian, you barely saw him anymore. Your own boyfriend. He was spending time with another female. That was really starting to get old.
"Of course." You clip. Ridoc huffs a laugh, and Rhiannon glares at him.
"He's only doing what Xaden tells him-" Bodhi begins, and your eyes slide to his.
"Anymore, I don't really care what Xaden-" Your rage begins to bubble over, and the table falls silent as their gazes drift behind you. Shadows curl around your fists, the cool tendrils working against your warmed skin.
"Care what Xaden... what, exactly? As your Wingleader, I would love to hear you finish that sentence, Y/N." Xaden's lethally calm voice sounds from behind you, and you glance over your shoulder, face falling at the realization. You shake your head.
"I... it's... look, I just think it's a bit much to have Liam following Violet around all day, don't you think? Can't she defend herself?" You ask. His hard gaze on you only intensifies.
"I would say Liam is one of the strongest in this wing, wouldn't you agree?" He asks, and you nod.
"Yes, but-"
"So he will continue to defend what's most precious to me." He says in finality, turning to walk away as you scoff, throwing your hands in the air.
"What about what's most precious to me, huh? I never get to see him anymore because you're always having him whisked away to defend your girlfriend -- isn't that your job!?" You nearly shout. The entire room goes silent, and Bodhi slaps a hand over his mouth. Rhiannon's jaw is practically on the floor, but your eyes are only met with Xaden's searing gaze as he turns to face you once more. He steps close to you, speaking again in his constrained, calm voice.
"I highly suggest you take the rest of the afternoon off, cadet y/l/n. You seem a bit high strung -- wouldn't want you too worked up for the challenges later this evening." The muscle in his jaw ticks as you turn on your heel, beelining for the exit and stomping all the way back to your dorm room.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
You know what? Xaden was right. The afternoon off was exactly what you needed before a night full of challenges. You spent the whole afternoon getting yourself more riled up within the confines of your dorm, pacing back and forth and glaring into your mirror. Did you nap? Nope. Try to calm down, do some meditation, maybe? Absolutely not. Perhaps stretch, or read a book so you were at ease before the night began then. Hell no.
You were ripping a brush through your long hair, slamming it down on your desk when you decided the strands were untangled enough. You yanked at the band around your wrist, muscle memory causing your hands to wind your hair into a ponytail atop your head when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. You glance down at your phone still dark on your desk, and an idea sparks in your mind. Dropping your hands, you run them through the strands a few times before separating the mass into three sections. Since he likes the Sorrengail so damn bad, you thought. Maybe you'd show him you she wasn't anything special. She was just like everyone else here; she was just like you.
Securing the band at the base of the tight braid, you sway side to side, pleased with the result. Pulling on your tightest-fitting leathers and boots, you sheath your finest daggers and head out of your room. Within minutes, you've crossed the courtyard and are in the training center, approaching a mat near the center where you find Ridoc and Bodhi and Rhiannon gathered. Rhiannon turns when Ridoc whistles loudly at you. You lighten your steps on instinct, realizing you're still stomping your way across the mats toward them.
"Ohhhh my, Y/N," she looks you up and down, taking you in fully. You huff a breath, pretending not to notice her stare. Or Ridoc's. Or Bodhi's. Or Violet's...
Or Liam's. From three mats over.
"New tactic?" Ridoc laughs, and you roll your eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Uhhh, distracting your opponent with the tightest black fighting leathers you could find?" Rhiannon giggles, and you scoff, feigning innocence. Bodhi only groans.
"CADETS, attention please!" Emmetario shouts. He stalks closer to the mat you stand before, calling off more pairs for challenges. You and your friends watch as people fight and wrestle match after match. Rhiannon wins her challenge, Ridoc hands Jack Barlowe's ass to him, and your attention snags on the mat a few feet away as a new pairing is called forth. Your perfect, wonderful boyfriend is taking the mat, shucking off his tee and revealing his perfectly toned body, abdominals flexing as he laughs at something Xaden says. He takes a fighting stance as another guy from third wing stands opposite him, and they begin. It's not long before Liam has the poor fella on the floor, tapping out. Being the kind male he is, Liam hops off and helps him up, shaking his hand and offering him a kind smile after they finish their challenge.
As he is exiting the mat, his eyes meet yours and widen slightly, raking over your body as he slowly steps off the platform. They linger on the straps clinging to the curve of your ass, then trail back up to the form-fitting compression shirt you've chosen and his brows knit in confusion when he notices your new hairstyle. You tilt your chin up and flip your hair over your shoulder, just as Emmetario bellows once more.
"Bodhi and Y/N!"
You walk onto the mat, Rhiannon cheering from the sidelines. Bodhi looks to you in silent apology, and you position yourself close to your friend, taking your beginning stance. You can see the worry in his expression, and you glance to your left as Liam, Violet, and Xaden flank the edge of the mat to observe as well.
"Bodhi, it's alright. I know you won't hurt me for real," You say. He grins at you.
"Never." Is all he says, taking his beginning position, not-so-subtly drinking in your form so close to his. You smirk.
"Begin!" Emmetario calls. Bodhi immediately lunges for you, but you're quick and dodge his advance, and he stumbles forward -- you've trained with him countless times, you knew he'd make the first move. You snake to the side, wrapping your arms around his midsection and using your whole body weight to throw yourselves both to the ground. You cry out as you land on your own elbow, and he tries to roll you onto your back. You dig your heels into the ground, fighting with all your strength to stay to the side of him and not let him get on top. He's stronger though, flipping you with his hands around your knees. You plant both feet in his ribs, knocking into him with as much force as you can muster and he falls back with a sharp cry.
The growing crowd winces and you jump to your feet once more, him following suit and clutching his side only for a moment before charging you once more. You crouch; but you're too slow this time. In seconds, his hands wrap around your waist and your thrown over his shoulder, hands smacking against his back.
You know what comes next -- this is the part where your opponent will throw you onto the mat, onto your back, knocking the wind out of you. You won't let that happen; not tonight. You tap into the rage you felt, all day, all week, and unleash it, feeling every feeling all over again.
Anger. You push against Bodhi, his hands losing grip and you tumbling haphazardly down his back. "Keep pushing, Y/N!" Rhiannon shouts.
Hate. You turn, Bodhi's still doubled over. Now's your chance. You run, jump, cling onto him, grabbing his neck and wrapping your legs around his waist-
Jealousy. It was a ploy. He whips you around, throwing you to the mat, hard. You shriek, breath catching in your throat as he holds you down with his forearm. He gazes down at you, his familiar friendly orbs glowing with warmth as he shifts uncomfortably above you.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Y/N, but... I'll be damned if anyone ever climbs me like a fuckin' tree-" the words die in his throat as your red-hot emotions dissipate, laughter rising and breaking free past your lips as he chuckles along with you.
"I don't care! I said she's done!" The sharp tone has your gaze turning to the left, the crowd making way as Emmetario calls after the tall male entering the mat and heading straight for you. In seconds, Bodhi's weight is completely lifted off of you and you suck in a breath of full, delightful air.
"Yep, and you can stay the fuck off of her, thank you very much," Liam gripes, bending down to grasp both of your hands in his and pull you up. You gasp as pain blooms in your back, and he begins leading you off the mat, away from the crowd. Toward the exit.
"Liam... Liam... I didn't tap out; my challenge wasn't over-" you stutter. He turns, his raging blue eyes narrowed on you. Yours widened in shock as you register an emotion so rare, especially for him you almost missed it.
Sadness.
"Trust me. It was over."
✧・゚: *✧・゚
"Liam, it's only a bruise, it'll be healed in a few-"
"He shouldn't have been man-handling you like that."
You stare at him, pacing back and forth in your dorm room from the bed where you sit. He half carried you back here a half hour ago, ending your challenge early and ignoring orders from a professor in the process. Now he seemed all worked up over your injuries, which were rather minor, at that.
"Like what, exactly? Liam, I've trained with Bodhi a million times. I know he would never hurt me. Not for real, anyways." You say, and Liam meets your gaze. His deep blue eyes are as dark as the midnight sea, only illuminated by the candle lights in your room. He chews on his bottom lip, halting his pacing.
"He trains with you?" He asks quietly. You scoff incredulously, fiddling with the band at the end of your braid and loosening the strands.
"Yeah? He's my friend, Liam. I have to have someone to spar with, right? It's not like my boyfriend is exactly... available..." you trail off, casting your eyes toward the floor. You finish undoing your braid, the strands hanging in loose waves over your shoulders. His brows knot in confusion.
"Y/N, what are you... what do you mean?" he walks close, kneeling before you, placing his hands on your knees. His face is level with yours, and Gods damn you if you don't want to kiss him-
"You know I'm always here for you Y/N..." he says softly. You meet his gaze, sucking your bottom lip between your teeth to keep it from quivering.
"Liam... I barely even see you anymore." Oh boy, here we go. "You always have to be with... with Violet... and if I do see you, it's never in our own privacy... I never just get you alone, to myself..." you trail off. He presses a soft kiss to your knee, and you praise yourself for changing into shorts and one of his big shirts when you returned earlier.
"Baby... you know I just have to hang out with Violet for now, just because of all the attacks and such, but," he places another soft kiss further up your thigh, and you feel your pulse quickening by the second. "...you have me alone... right now, right?" He asks sweetly, his eyes meeting yours again. You lean back on your elbows, and though his tone is sweet, the lust swirling in his irises tells a different story. You nod wordlessly, and he continues moving up your body, softly pushing up the hem of your shirt with his fingertips. His eyes remain in contact with your as he plants soft kisses up your abdomen, the muscles flexing as you fight to remain calm under his searing touch.
He pulls back, lips curing into a wicked grin as his eyes waver to your waistband, and he hooks a finger under the seam.
"If you wanted to be... man-handled... you could have just... asked." He says, your eyes widening at his words. Heat pools between your thighs, the incessant need for your boyfriend to ravage you only growing with every passing second he teases you. He chuckles, slipping a hand beneath the bands of both your shorts and underwear and wasting no time sliding a finger through your folds, easily gliding through the slickness. His lusting gaze meets yours again, and his free hand pushes himself closer to you on the bed.
"Mmm... you really have been missing me, haven't you?" You nod, looking up at him doe-eyed and innocent. He shakes his head, cupping your jaw and running a thumb over your lower lip while continuing to tease your leaking heat with his other hand.
"Such a good girl... I haven't been around as much as I should, have I." He says it more to himself, his forefinger circling your entrance and you rock your hips forward, aching for more.
"I haven't been as good of a boyfriend lately, and I'm sorry for that, okay?" He cups your cheek, and you meet his gaze.
"Liam... please..." you beg.
"Let me make it up to you?" He asks. Your nod of confirmation is all he needs as he slips both his index and middle fingers in -- knuckles deep. You gasp, jolting forward a bit and he pulls out, reinserting and driving them back in again. You bite out a moan, leaning back on your hands and looking up into his eyes. He's smirking down at you, drinking in every inch of your complexion as he massages that spongy spot inside of you.
"Liam..." you chant. "Liam, oh... my..... please-" He rises from his knees on the floor, continuing to curl his fingers inside you, to hover over you. He cuts off your whimpers with a beautiful, bruising kiss that is both sloppy and salivating. A mix of tongue and teeth clash as you make out with a primal need, his teeth finding your swollen bottom lip and playfully latching on. You groan once more, feeling the warm band in your stomach tightening.
"Gods I'm... I'm so-" Liam retracts his fingers and you groan, his lips finding yours again. He shucks his trousers off, kicking his boots off moments later. He breaks the kiss, yanking his shirt over his head and pulling yours off after, your bottoms following. Laying bare before him, he breathes deep, loosing his breath through the nose as he hovers overtop of your naked form.
"Y/N, you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen," he says sweetly. You blush, even though this is the hundredth time you've had sex with the man and probably the hundred millionth time he's called you pretty. You feel his hard on grounding against you, and you wiggle your hips, only creating more friction. Liams hand meets your hip, holding firm.
"Tsk tsk," he says, kissing your nose. His hand snakes between the two of you, his knuckles brushing against your pelvis making you shiver. His fingers wrap around the length of his cock and stroke a few times as he inches closer, and when the head finally makes contact with your dripping core, you whimper.
"Li... please..." He flashes you a devilish grin, his cute dimple warming your heart as your hands find their way to his built shoulders atop you.
"Since you asked so nicely," he says lowly, and pushes into you. You suck in a breath, the small stretch increasingly painful as he continues to push in, inch by delicious inch. The pleasure courses through you when he is finally fully sheathed inside of you, a growl escaping his throat as his hips retract and slam back in with immeasurable force.
"LIAM-" You shout. He pulls his hips back again, only pulling out half way as he continues to pound into you relentlessly, relishing in every breathless moan and scream of his name he can pull from your perfect lips.
"So tight, baby.... my gorgeous, gorgeous girl," he praises. Your hands slide down his tones arms, and the calloused fingers on one of his hands thread through your delicate ones, holding them to the mattress above your head. His breath comes out in short pants, and you let out a particularly sharp gasp.
"Ugh, fuck Liam; just like that," you breathe. His fingers let go of yours and wrap around your lower back, pulling you flush against his chest. HIs pace quickens as your breasts bounce with every quick thrust he delivers.
"You feel so good, Y/N," he says between breaths. His soft grunts almost send you over the edge, the new pace and angle spurring the impending orgasm from within. His warm breath tickles your neck, and his lips find your cheek, placing a single kiss as he continues to savagely thrust into you. "So perfect..." he whimpers.
You can't hold it together long enough to warn him this time as you fly over the edge, your orgasm barreling through you. You cry out, hands tugging on the ends of Liam's hair as your walls squeeze around his throbbing cock that hasn't yet slowed, riding you through your high. Your thighs start to shake, and Liam's mouth drops open as his eyes meet yours once more.
"Oh fuck, Y/N-" he jolts, releasing inside of your pulsing core as his movements begin to slow. Your combined ragged breaths are the only sounds filling the room, and his fingers trace the curve of your collarbone as his eyes lovingly gaze into yours again. You offer him a soft smile in your fucked-out state and he chuckles, slowly slipping out of you and retrieving a cloth from your desk. You move to take it from him, but per usual, he insists on cleaning you up himself.
Ahh, the gentleman he is.
He returns from tossing the cloth in the wastebasket, and you pull his big tee over your head for the second time today. He frowns at you, and shrugs, reaching for his pants and pulling them back up over his hips. He takes the spot on the bed next to you, propping up on an elbow to stare down upon you.
"I meant it," he starts, and you sigh.
"Liam-"
"Really, Y/N. I know its shitty that I have to always hang around with Violet. I know it sucks that it means I have less time with you. And... and I know it isn't your favorite thing. It isn't mine either." He says, taking a strand of your hair and twirling it around his index finger before letting it fall, and going for another piece.
"I know this, and I still listen to Xaden's orders. I know that doesn't make me a very good boyfriend, and I need to do better." He says in finality with a nod. "I'll talk to Xaden in the morning about it." You lean up off the bed, planting your lips on his. His hands cradle the back of your head, kissing you back with all the love he has to give. When you pull away, you know that no matter what, no matter how much or how little time you have together, there's no changing the connection the two of you share.
"Liam, I don't think I could find a better boyfriend than the one laying next to me in this very moment. You're as good as they get, my love."
✧・゚: *✧・゚
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callsign-rogueone · 8 months
Text
keep her safe - g.t.
Garrick Tavis x Marked!Pacifist!Reader  This one is for my fellow tired, chronic pain girls who just want their suffering to serve some purpose, and those who trust everyone they meet, even if they shouldn’t. wc: 4.7k -- the longest work I've ever put on this blog! second chapter is here! 🏷: spoilers for both Fourth Wing books (I’m currently 500 pages into Iron Flame, and y’all... 😭) people refer to you with she/her pronouns, canon-typical violence and torture, mentions of canon character death / death of a family member, bad coping mechanisms, Dain and his memory reading (I tried to make him more tolerable), one (1) reference to sex, I gave you a last name (Avan) and Garrick calls you angel as a pet name, because I refuse to use y/n. Your dragon's name is Tab.
Your stomach drops as your name is called for a challenge. “No weapons today.” Emeterrio adds. “I want you to work on your hand-to-hand.”
The pair of you unsheath nearly a dozen knives apiece, you handing yours to Bodhi. Disarmed, you extend a hand to the boy, as is the Tyrrish tradition before a friendly spar, but he doesn’t take it. No unmarked ones ever have.
He charges first, tangles a hand in your hair and pulls, jerking your head back, and the crowd of freshmen gasp, but you plant your feet and move with him, twisting your spine with practiced ease.
That gives you enough distance to kick a leg out at his right knee, hitting him squarely in the back of it. He releases you. Another swift kick to his legs has them sweeping out from under him. You dig a thumb into his collarbone, finding just the right spot, and he crumples, giving you a split second to wrap your arm around his throat.
He claws at your elbow with blunt nails, wasting breath as he attempts to rise to his feet, but you keep him pinned with your body weight, bearing down as hard as you can. He bucks, and your left boot skids against the mat. 
You bend your knee to brace yourself in a lunge. Your arm is starting to falter, he can feel the muscle straining around his jaw, but he’s tiring too — running out of air. If neither of you moves, he’s going to die.
“Enough,” Emeterrio commands.
You release him, extending a hand to pull him up, but he smacks it away and dives straight at you, clearly not done. “I’m not letting you off that easily, traitor.” 
You squeak in surprise, your back hitting the mat with a thud, and he lands another blow to your jaw. You struggle to take control back, gasping for breath from how hard you’d hit the floor.
He gathers your wrists into one hand easily, the other closing around your throat.
“You are going to die on this mat if you don’t do something, now. Use the failsafe.” 
There’s one dagger you hadn’t removed, that you’d won from Garrick in combat your first year, that he’d let you win, really, and promptly ordered that you never remove it from your reach, for situations like this.
He doesn’t have your legs pinned, so you kick out, catching him in the thigh, and his grip falters. You manage to wiggle one arm free to pull the blade from the inside of your jacket, rolling onto your side and holding the point millimeters away from his chest. “Yield,” you order, loud enough for everyone to hear.
“You won’t kill me,” He snarls. “Everyone knows you’re all bark and no bite. That’s why you keep him around.”
You drag it down, just enough to tear his shirt. “Yield, or you’ll meet Malek today and you can explain to him what a cheating coward you are.” The words surprise you, but you fight to maintain the hardened look on your face, trying to convince him you’re serious. 
“Fine,” he spits, “I yield.”
Heart still pounding, you move to lean against the wall with the other marked ones, Bodhi handing you back your arsenal blade by blade. 
“She cheated!” Jason protests as soon as he’s standing again.
“She did what was necessary after you defied a direct order from a superior officer,” Emeterrio says narrowly.
Jason glowers, but returns to his friends without further argument. The rest of the pack takes note of their faces; they’re likely as conniving as him, and as liable to try to kill you, too.
“I’m gonna end that motherfucker,” Garrick mutters, checking you over for injuries as subtly as he can. He hands you a scrap of cloth and you wipe the blood from your nose, wincing, but grateful it isn’t broken.
“He’s been at this for months. One of these days, he’s going to kill you.” Bodhi says quietly, his gaze not moving from the next sparring pair.
“Why not kill him first?” Imogen asks. “You had a knife to his gut, you should have used it.”
“No.” You say firmly. “To kill anyone unmarked, especially an officer’s son, would confirm what everyone else in this army believes about Tyrs; that we are bloodthirsty animals.”
“Let them believe that,” she scoffs. “They’ll never change their mind.”
You sigh. Maybe she’s right.
You don’t see your friends for the next ten hours, when you’re finally excused for dinner.
“Where the hell have you been?” Bodhi asks. 
“Medical wing,” you rasp, sliding into a seat at the end of the bench. “Mending infantry with Carr.” 
“You should eat,” Liam says softly, pushing a plate toward you, but you shake your head no, every muscle in your body screaming. 
You look like your head is going to hit the table, your neck no longer able to hold it up. Bodhi pulls you into his side and you slump against him, boneless. “Her signet isn’t fully developed yet,” you hear him explain to Violet and Liam. “She’ll be okay. She just needs to rest.”
When you wake, it’s dark out, the room nearly pitch black, but you can tell it’s not yours — the furniture is arranged differently.
“Welcome back to the land of the living, gentle one,” Tab greets as soon as you’re cognizant. He can only be this dry about it because he knew you’d pull through. “If he makes you do that again, I’ll eat him.”
You laugh, wincing at the pain in your ribs. Your entire body aches. There’s no way you got up the three flights of stairs here yourself — you didn’t even have it in you to chew food at dinner.
There’s a comforting scent to the room — all the soap and detergent everyone uses is standard issue, but something about the sheets smells like Garrick. Your theory is confirmed when he walks through the door, the hallway light illuminating the hilts of the two swords strapped to his back. “If you want me in your bed, Gare, you just need to ask,” you say in greeting.
He laughs dryly, waving a hand to activate a small mage light. “The damage can’t be too bad if you’re already cracking jokes.”
“I missed physics, didn’t I? Did you carry me up here?”
“Of course that’s what you’re worried about. You can copy Violet’s notes, they’re way better than mine.” He strips some of the weapons off, shedding his flight jacket along with them. It’s something you’ve seen many times before, but it never fails to make your heart flutter.
He sits on the edge of the bed, a gentle hand moving up to lay against your cheek. “And I did carry you. I’d do anything for you, angel. It scares me sometimes.”
He brushes a piece of hair from your face. You’d been freezing cold when you fell asleep, so he’d draped you with every blanket he owned before leaving, and it seems to have worked — your skin is pleasantly warm against his hand.
“Anything, hm?” You ask, a lazy smile on your face. 
His eyes sparkle at the mischief in your tone, but he’s responsible enough to think before he acts. “Not until you’ve recovered,” he says sternly. 
You yawn. “D’you have section leader stuff to do tonight?”
“That’s what executive officers are for.”
You crack an eye to look at him in disapproval. “Gare, you can’t skip duty. Melgren will have your head.”
He sighs. “Fine. Don’t go anywhere.”
“I won’t. Your bed is more comfortable than mine anyway.”
He presses a kiss to your forehead, tugging the jacket back on and strapping in the swords.
/////////
Someone is standing in front of your yoga mat. Dain. “No bodyguard today?” He asks.
You’re silent, your gaze flickering between him and the longsword by your side, the one Garrick had insisted you take with you everywhere when he wasn’t there to protect you.
“You may find this hard to believe, but I don’t want to kill you.” He says with a sigh. “I just need to-”
“Quit talking and join me, or leave.” You interrupt, settling into a deeper stretch, eyes closing as you gesture to the floor next to you with an open hand. By the grace of Amari, Carr had given you enough time off to recover, but he’ll likely be making you work another shift in the infirmary today. This will be your only pocket of calm for the next twelve hours. You aren’t going to skip it for Dain, of all people.
He chooses the first option, surprising you as he drags a mat over beside yours, attempting to copy your movements. “Do you really do this every day?” He asks, uncomfortable.
“Even a soldier must take time to be at peace. Clear your mind. Whatever you’re thinking about is so loud it’s distracting.”
He startles, his foot slipping on the mat.
“No, my signet is not mind-reading.” You say, eyes still closed, though there’s an amused look on your face. “Relax. You’re killing the air in here with that nervous energy.”
For the next five minutes, you both stretch in total silence. “Now,” you decide, bringing your arms back to your body, focusing on your breathing, “what was so important that you needed to find me here?”
He cuts straight to it. “Varrish wants me to… practice on you. He thinks you’re hiding something, that all of you are.” He doesn’t need to specify who he means by you. 
You don’t seem to react to the information, instead looking at him with curiosity. “How do you feel about your signet?” 
He blinks. Nobody’s ever asked him that before. “I don’t know.” He says quietly. You shift again, but he doesn’t follow you, folding his legs underneath him instead. Your silence presses him to speak, needing to fill the air. “I used to think it was cool, but now… now I’m wondering if it’s really a gift at all.”
“What do you see when you view a memory like that? Are you living it through their eyes, or from above, watching it unfold? How far back can you see?”
“Through their eyes.” He answers, throat dry. Why is he telling you this? “A day, maybe two. It depends. Varrish wants me to learn to push it farther.”
You weigh the consequences. If he’s being honest, he won’t see anything confidential — at worst, a gathering of more than three marked ones to exercise, but is he really petty enough to tell Varrish about that, when he’s giving you a warning in the first place?
“Okay.” You say, opening your eyes. Better it be you than one of the kids who can’t shield their memories yet, or Garrick or Bodhi, who would rip him limb from limb if he tried to touch them.
“What?”
“I’m going to go about my day now as if this conversation never happened,” you say, looking him in the eye, unflinching, “and you’re going to do what you have to do to satisfy Varrish’s demands — with me and only me. Are we clear?”
“Yes,” he stammers, shocked that you’re letting him do this.
“Good.” You pick up the longsword, strapping it back in along your spine. “Dain?” You call over your shoulder. “I won’t make it easy for you.” You say, and he knows that’s a promise.
“That was an incredibly stupid decision, gentle one. A noble decision, but stupid nonetheless.” Tab speaks into your mind on the way back up to your room. “You cannot always assume everyone has good intentions. It would have been your downfall by now, if not for your mate’s protection.”
“Stop calling Garrick my mate. That’s weird.” You deflect, not wanting to unpack his earlier words.
“Forgive me. Dragons do not have a word for a relationship as trivial as a boyfriend.”
You build up a mental wall like Xaden had taught you, ending the argument. 
When Varrish calls you into his office that afternoon, you already know what it’s for. “Take a seat,” he says with a smile that you know isn’t meant to be friendly.
He sees the way your eyes immediately narrow at the sight of Dain — everyone knows how the quadrant’s golden boy feels about marked ones, and how you feel about him. You’re going to be doing some very good acting today.
The door closes and locks behind you, and your stomach flips as you feel the sound shield form and press up against the office walls. There’s no escape, and no screaming for help, but you know what you’ve walked into. You signed up for it this morning.
“To what do I owe this meeting, Major?” You ask respectfully, lowering yourself into the chair beside Dain.
“Professor Carr has made me aware that both of your signets have been slow to develop. We’re going to spend your leisure time today practicing, in hopes that you will finally improve.” A very convincing lie, you’ll admit. If Dain hadn’t come to you this morning, you might have believed it. “No objections?” He asks, waiting for you to protest.
“No, sir.” You say calmly, Dain answering the same a beat behind you.
“Good. Aetos, you first.”
It takes every ounce of self control not to squirm as Dain stands, stepping toward you. You lift your chin, closing your eyes -- a gesture of consent small enough to fly under the Vice Commandant’s radar.
You may be letting him try, but you’d told him this wouldn’t be easy. You block him out completely, raising your mental shield and barring the gates.
“What do you see?” Varrish asks.
Dain doesn’t answer. He does not push, does not attempt to kick the door down or dig below the foundation. He stands outside, waiting for you to give him something. 
The crack of his nose breaking has your eyes flying open, the coppery scent of blood starting to fill the room immediately as he staggers back into his chair.
“Your turn, Avan."
You stand, laying a gentle hand on Dain’s jaw to tilt it up, stopping the blood from pouring down his shirt. 
He looks up at you, stunned, but lets you touch the broken cartilage with your fingertips, and moments later it feels like nothing ever happened. It’s mind-bending.
“Very good. Aetos, try again. What was she doing this morning?”
Dain stands, angling his body between yours and Varrish’s so that the Major can’t see the apology he mouths before his hands touch your forehead. Whether he can see his conversation with you in the gym is unclear. He lies through his teeth either way. “She was alone,” he answers, “on a run to the flight field and back.” 
“And then?”
He shifts uncomfortably, his eyes not leaving yours. “A shower, breakfast. Eggs. An apple. Toast. She sat with Tavis and two other marked ones.” He leaves out Violet from the group, not wanting to implicate her. Interesting. 
That much is true, but it’s part of your everyday routine — he could have easily gleaned that from watching you across the mess hall. Is he still locked out?
Varrish stands, rounding the corner of his desk. “Let’s make this a little harder, shall we?”
Dain screams as a dagger pierces his arm, thrashing in his chair. Varrish twists the blade as he pulls it out, letting Dain’s blood drip to the floor. This is why he needed the sound shield.
Your eyes widen, and the adrenaline has you leaping to your feet to fix it. You press a hand into the wound, apologizing when he winces. It takes you longer than it should for the muscle to repair itself.
“You care more about him than I thought.” Varrish muses.
You turn to him, anger flickering in your chest. “It is my moral obligation to help the wounded.”
He tuts. “You would have made an excellent healer, had your parents not committed high treason. Aetos, again. Find something older.”
Dain trembles as he stands, and you take pity on him. You push an older memory forward, a happy one, remembering it as vividly as you can.
You watch together as you sprint through the forest, stopping dead in your tracks as you see two cadets fighting. The one losing is a smaller girl in your class whose name Dain can’t remember, a tall, muscled boy towering over her, sword ready to strike.
You spring forward, catching him by surprise and effectively disarming him, and he chooses to abandon the sword and run rather than fight the both of you. You extend a hand to pull the girl to her feet and her eyes widen further, staring up not at you, but behind you.
You feel a burst of heat against your back — not hot enough to be fire. Steam. You bow your head in deference, turning slowly to give the girl time to run… And the dragon bows back. What the fuck?
“You did not kill the boy.” It says directly into your mind.
“I did not.” You answer aloud, not sure if humans can do that.
“Have you ever killed before, gentle one?”
“I haven’t.” Should you be embarrassed? Dragons are violent, surely they would see this as a sign of weakness.
“Not all of us.”
“Holy shit, you can read my mind.”
The girl laughs in disbelief, and you realize you’ve just bonded a dragon.
“In time you’ll learn to control that. But your friend needs to get moving, and so do we.”
You wish her luck before scaling the leg of your dragon and taking a seat.
“Hold on.”
You shriek in happiness like a child as he jumps up, and seconds later you’re thousands of feet in the air, looking down at Basgiath and the valley below. When you return to the flight field, you find Garrick there with a giant brown Scorpiontail, bloodied but happy as he stands next to Xaden and the biggest blue daggertail you’ve ever seen. You pull them both into a hug, just grateful they’re alive.
“Careful, angel,” Garrick warns, grinning into your hair, “we just might make it out of here.”
You cut Dain off there, yanking back the memory before slamming your shields back up. He can have that moment, but only that moment.
“Threshing,” Dain says. Thank the gods. “She helped another cadet who was being attacked. That’s why Tab chose her, for her kindness.”
You both look at Varrish for further instruction. Your shields have been weakening with every injury you repair, but so have Dain’s abilities. You don’t know how many more rounds either of you can take. 
“I think that’s enough for today,” He says, sounding pleased. “I’ll see you again on Wednesday morning, to check your progress. You’re dismissed.”
The sound shield dissipates, the door unlocking. The only evidence is Dain’s blood, smeared across his face and arms, drying on the floor and under your nails. You commit the sight to memory, tucking it into the same folder that holds the death of your parents, and slam the drawer shut.
It takes you five minutes to scrub the blood out of the cracks in your palms and from under your nails. Your fingertips are wrinkled when you step into the gym.
“Why did Tab tell Chradh that you were called into Varrish’s office with Aetos?” Garrick asks, remarkably calm as he toys with one of his smaller daggers.
“Because he’s a meddling mother hen.” You answer, avoiding the question.
“Watch it.”  Tab warns. “Tell him the truth, or we will.”
You know he’s not bluffing. “He wanted us to practice our signets on each other.”
“Dain practiced his signet, his memory-reading signet, on you?” He asks, already simmering with anger.
“This morning, he came to me to warn me about Varrish’s plan, and I told him it was okay. I used my shields, and I only showed him what I wanted to. We’re supposed to do it again Wednesday.”
Your eyes communicate something else you won’t say aloud, not in front of everyone, and not when you know Dain might be able to see this conversation in two days. I did this to take the heat off of the others. You know I was the safest choice.
Garrick sighs. “I can’t tell you what to do, but I’d like to state for the record that I hate this plan. Literally everything about it. Except for Aetos being stabbed, maybe.” Of course Chradh told him about that. He’d have been delighted by the news, despising both him and Cath.
You give him a look.
“Okay, fine. I take that back.”
He doesn’t. 
By Wednesday, the pain in the bridge of your nose is gone, but your arm is still tender where Dain had been stabbed. Bodhi joins you in the gym, stretching with you for a few minutes before he settles into a plank at your side, his eyes never leaving the door.
Dain does not make an appearance at breakfast, notably absent from the leadership table.
Garrick excuses himself as soon as he sees you stand with your tray, catching you by the doors. “Remember that you’re stronger than both of them in all the ways that matter,” he says quietly. “I’ll find you as soon as you’re done.” You both tap your chest twice before parting ways, as has been your tradition for years -- a reminder that even though you’re leaving, you still hold the other in your heart.
Each step up to Varrish’s office is another reminder of what’s to come when you reach the top. “Cadet Avan,” he greets with another sickening smile. “Just in time. We were beginning to think you weren’t coming.”
Your jaw drops at the sight of Dain slumped into the same chair as last time, bloodied and exhausted.
“Nothing fatal,” Varrish reassures. “Not if you act quickly. Go ahead, get started.”
The Vice Commandant’s words have you on edge as you assess him, looking for gaping wounds or broken bones. Dain winces as your hands move over his ribs, and you whisper an apology, pressing in deeper. When your chest starts to ache, you know it’s time to move on. You mend two broken ribs, dissolve a purple bruise on his arm, and fix a split lip, but Dain still hasn’t woken up.
You turn back to Varrish. “One left,” he says. “Use your head.”
Oh, gods. He’d given Dain a concussion, because he knows the migraine it’ll give you will make it harder to shield. You cradle the second-year’s head in your hands, breathing out deeply as you transfer the pain from his body to yours, healing the bruised tissue. Dain blinks himself awake as you stumble, the room suddenly spinning.
“Well done. Aetos?”
You fumble for the arms of your chair, vision blurring at the edges, but you manage to sit back down.
“Say the word, and I get your mate,” Tab offers. He can probably feel your disorientation, concerned you won’t be able to block Dain out in this state.
“No,” you rasp back. “If he shows up, Varrish will have us practice on him instead.”
 You need to pick another memory to satisfy Varrish, something older, but your brain isn’t firing on all cylinders. Dain gives you a moment to gather yourself, a small gesture of mercy.
“A moment of pure happiness,” Tab suggests. “Something with the wingleader and your mate.”
You flip back in the book of your life, nearly all the way to the beginning, opening it to the right page to give to Dain and slipping it under the gate with a nod of your head — you’re ready.
Dain’s hands are warm against your freezing cheeks. A boy no older than five that he recognizes as Garrick crouches under a desk across the room, holding a finger to his lips. 
“Wherever could those children possibly be?” Someone muses aloud, and you fight laughter as the voice grows closer, thinking it amusing that this adult has no idea you’re hiding in the curtains.
Footsteps retreat, and Garrick signals for you to move. You make it down the hallway before you see someone searching — presumably whatever parent you’d convinced to play with you. Small hands tug you both behind a plush velvet couch. Xaden. 
You press yourselves up against it, trying to be as quiet as possible, watching as a shadow forms on the wall in front of you, then a head peers over the back of the couch — that must be your father. He looks just like you, has the same warm smile.
“One more, and then I need to get back to work,” He says, already moving to cover his eyes and starting to count to one hundred. You each run off in a different direction, and the scene fades there.
“A childhood memory,” Dain says. “Playing hide and seek in her father’s office with Riorson and Tavis.”
Not good enough for Varrish. “Give me something I can use,” he snarls, a Freudian slip, but nothing either of you hadn’t known already. 
You flip forward in the book, settling on a page you never look at, that you can’t bear to, but that Varrish will revel in. You rip it out, sliding it under the gate. “Bad,” you whisper, the only warning you can manage.
Dain nods in permission, ready to watch whatever memory you’ve pushed forward.
Someone presses a small stone into your hand, an intricate overlap of shapes and lines engraved on one side, the other perfectly smooth.
“Do not put it down, even for a moment,” your father says. He’s aged between now and the last memory, starting to go gray at his temples. “Keep it in your hand until the end. It will protect you when we can’t.”
He looks next to Garrick. “She is everything good about the world.” He says quietly. “Take care of her.”
Garrick promises he will, and your father pulls you into one last embrace before he leaves. Tears blur your vision, Garrick pulling you close. “It’ll be okay,” he soothes. “They’ll come back.”
Hours pass that Dain can’t see, because you don’t remember them. 
There’s an ache in your palm from clutching the stone so hard, the rounded corners digging into your skin. Garrick takes your free hand in his, interlocking your fingers. Then there’s only screaming and fire and rage, heat burning up your arm as it’s marked with inky swirls. Until the end, your father had said. This must have been what he meant.
“Her parents’ execution,” Dain says, a note of genuine hurt in his voice. “They gave each child a runestone before they left, as protection.”
Varrish’s eyes rake over to you. He leans forward, yanking on the leather cord that disappears into the neck of your shirt hard enough to pull your body with it. “A runestone like this one?”
“Yes,” you answer before Dain can, saving him the lie. You shut your eyes, wincing as the cold edge of a knife brushes against your neck and the cord breaks, a single drop of warm blood running down your collarbone. You don’t protest, you can’t, your mind still hazy and eyes wet with tears from reliving the memory with Dain.
“That will be all.” Varrish dismisses. He doesn’t make an appointment for you to come back. He has what he needs.
You stand, relying on your knowledge of the office’s layout to navigate your way forward until the door closes behind you.
“I’m so sorry,” Dain breathes once you’re down the hall far enough to avoid being heard. “If I had known,”
“It’s okay. The rune is long dead, and he has no idea how to recreate it. I’m just glad he didn’t hurt you again.” You blink, trying to clear your head. How are you going to get down all these stairs? You can hardly see.
“Here,” he says quietly, extending a hand. You take it, letting him loop an arm over his shoulders — your right, the one that Varrish hadn’t bruised black and blue on Dain — and lead you one step at a time.
You’re halfway down when you hear heavy footsteps running up the stairs. Garrick. He’d promised he’d find you when you were done. He doesn’t spare a glance at Dain, gathering you into his arms and apologizing when he puts pressure on your not-broken ribs.
Dain watches as the older boy carries you down the rest of the stairs, murmuring reassurances to you all the while. Your father’s words echo in his mind. “Take care of her.”
Garrick Tavis is a man of his word.
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marvelsmylife · 1 month
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Breaking Point
Pairing: Bodhi Durran x reader
Plot: you start ignoring Bodhi after he lets it slip he let Violet borrow his flight jacket before she goes to see Xaden.
A/n I’ve had this idea in my head for a few days. Let me know if you would be interested in a part two
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Ever since you started dating Bodhi, you’ve asked him if you could borrow his flight jacket. You knew it was silly, seeing as you had your own. Still, you just wanted to show off that you were with Bodhi, and there was no better way than to wear his clothes.
Unfortunately, each time you asked, he would have an excuse for you not to wear it. You told him time and time again if he didn’t want people to know you were together. He, of course, always denied it. He told you that he did want you to wear it but then proceeded to give you every excuse under the sun as to why you couldn’t wear it.
So you were shocked when he let it slip that he let Violet borrow his jacket when she went to Samara. Sure, he had a valid reason to give it to her; you would have to if you were in his position. It didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt that another girl got to wear his jacket before you, his girlfriend of two years.
You tried your best not to show it bothered you, but Bodhi noticed you were quieter than usual and decided to bring it up during lunch. “Come on, I know something’s wrong. Please tell me so I can help,” Bodhi tried to get you to speak to him for the fourth time in the past twenty minutes.
You were about to reply when Violet strolled into the dining hall and handed Bodhi his jacket. “Thanks again for the jacket,” Violet gave Bodhi a slight nod before she sat next to Rhiannon.
You stiffened when you noticed Bodhi’s jacket, and Imogen put two and two together. “Oh, gods. Are you fucking kidding me, Bodhi?” Everyone looked over at Imogen confused, before Imogen added, “You let another girl use your flight jacket before your girlfriend.”
Bodhi’s eyes widened, and he tried to drape his jacket on your shoulders, but you yanked it off. “I don’t want your stupid jacket,” you threw Bodhi’s jacket back to him and decided to unleash all the anger you’ve been bottling up. “I’m fucking mad at you because I’ve asked you if I could borrow this jacket for the past two years. You’ve had an excuse not to let me borrow it each time, but you give it to Violet like it’s no big deal.”
Bodhi felt himself shrink at your words as he realized he fucked up. He hadn’t realized how important it was for you to wear his jacket. Looking back, all the times you had asked were when other guys would give their jackets to their girlfriends. Bodhi was about to reach out to you, but you stood up and stormed out of the dining hall.
Everyone around Bodhi was telling him to go after you, and he was about to listen to them when Violet said, “You are probably the last person she wants to see right now. I’ll go talk to her.” With that, Violet got up and followed you out of the room.
Violet apologized profusely to you the second she stepped foot inside your room. “Violet, you have nothing to apologize for. This fight was a long time coming, and unfortunately, you got stuck in the middle of it,” you reassured her.
You then spent a solid hour explaining to Violet why you were so angry with Bodhi, and by the end, she started to get upset on your behalf. “I swear, men are such idiots,” Violet commented as you both stared at your ceiling, “Xaden acts like that sometimes, too. Maybe it’s genetic.”
You laughed at Violet’s comment, “I wouldn’t be surprised. Ugh, life was so much simpler when we used to believe boys had cooties.”
“Yup” Violet replied with a sigh, “I wish-”
A loud knock interrupted Violet and caused you to sit up. “Y/n, please let me in,” a frown appeared when you heard Bodhi’s voice. “Sweetheart, please.”
“You have to talk to him eventually,” Violet got up and started walking towards the door. 
She stopped at the door and waited for you to give her the ok to open the door. “Ok,” you whispered and braced yourself for the conversation you were about to have with your boyfriend.
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Heart Sutra ~ Buddha x Goddess! Reader
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Gate gate para gate para sam gate bodhi swaha...
"Your pronunciation is getting better, Y/N." King Jataka laid on the grass, underneath a tree, watching the beautiful woman besides him create various models of flower crowns with her magic. "Really? You truly think so?" her charming smile seemed to radiate as bright and warm as the Sun itself. "Yes, I think so. A little more, and you can sing the Heart Sutra perfectly." Jataka found himself smiling also. "Ahh, you are being far too nice, 'Taka." she waved her hand dismissively, returning to her idle work. "Y/N, do you mind if I ask you something?" she hummed, encouraging him to continue. "You are a Goddess. Why have you been staying at my court, disguised as a Bodhisattva?" he asked, deep in thought. Y/N turned her head to look at him properly. "Why, you ask?" Y/N didn't have an immediate answer. "I suppose because it makes me happy." "Does it, really?" he murmured, intrigued. "I think so, yes." she smiled kindly. "Every time I see the smiles of people that I healed, my heart bursts with happiness, and I feel lighter. In this prospect, I suppose that yes, being here, among humans, and aiding them does make me happy." "You are always smiling." Jataka nodded his head, pensive. "You have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen." "Jataka." she called out his name, placing the flower down and leaning back on the tree. "What is bothering you?" "Ahaha... Saw right through me, didn't you? No wonder you're a Goddess governing the nature, peace and serenity. Only someone pure and benevolent like yourself could understand my troubled heart." the King spoke softly. "I am nearing the end of my life, and through this, I have come to realise that although I have done my duty well, made my people happy and that my kingdom is flourishing... You see... I feel... Unfulfilled. I feel... Empty. Like there is something missing. I feel... Deep unrest and... Sadness. As though I am nostalgic over something that I have never had... And never will."
"Your reason for sadness is the very reason over which I took a leave of absence from home, up there." Y/N gently wrapped her arms around the King, placing his head on her lap. "There is no creature alive that can feel happiness over being controlled by a higher being. We blame destiny and duty, or even Gods for out sadness... But the truth is, Jataka... We are the masters of our own destiny, and only we have power over our own lives." Y/N looked away with a sarcastic smile. "If only that were entirely true, huh?" "Lavishing in all these material luxuries, being hidden away from any misfortune, I have been ignorant over what it meant to live." the man sighed deeply. "As I watched the starry skies one night, from the balcony, I realised how vast the skies are - And if the skies are endless, then so must the Earth be. I watched birds fly, unhindered by any restraint, and I realised that I was nothing more than a caged falcon, bound by a rope, never allowed to venture too far. Since my birth, I have been told that I must uphold my duties as a prince - As the future King - And I did everything as best as I could, out of filial love and duty for the people I am responsible for." Jataka felt a sense of relief, feeling the Goddess' hand gently caressing his silvery locks. "Do you think I am selfish, Y/N? For wishing for my own happiness, for once?" "No, Jataka. I do not think you are selfish. Truth is..." though Y/N smiled, it was bitter, and a tear escaped down her cheek. "I am just a little upset that you did not realise it until it was too late." a few more tears followed close behind, surprising the young King. "You are such a good man, Jataka. It always pains me, seeing young men and women like you, who have done only good in their life, and are repaid with only misfortune. I hate how unfair life can be, and I hate that I am unable of meddling with diseases that humans cannot conquer yet. If I were to keep every living being alive, forever, than it would only bring calamity and a disbalance of life." Jataka felt a pang of pain in his heart, realising the emotional woman before him cared so much for him and all the people she governed over - Despite all the births, deaths and rebirths that she's witnessed over the course of aeons, for as long as she has been alive - She still couldn't get over the suffering of loss. "But if I make an exception with you, then I would have to make an exception with everyone, as my heart wouldn't allow me to spare one over the other. A cruel fate, out of which I cannot escape. And you, Jataka, are correct, you are no different - A beautiful song bird, trapped in a golden cage, embellished with the most precious jewels, forced to sing the songs of the nobles, yet unable to break free and witness and experience the world in front of your eyes; Unable to spread your wings and feel the air brushing through your feathers."
Y/N felt two gentle hands cradling her face, wiping away her diamond beads of tears which created blooming flowers where they fell on the ground. Jataka smiled, and kissed her forehead. "Having your love means more to me than anything else in the world." he spoke in a soft voice which mellowed the Goddess' heart further into trembling with emotion. "Though I cannot live the life that I wished, nor live eternal in this mortal husk that my body is - I have a single wish, that only you may fulfill. It is the only thing that can bring me a little comfort. Can you promise me something, please?" "Of course. I will do anything." she placed her hands over his own, intertwining their fingers together. "Please, take care of Siddhartha for me. He is still young and naive, still fooled by the luxuries of the palace. He needs you, the same as I do. He is a good man. Please, care for him the same as you did for me." the two locked eyes, and their hearts came to a deep understanding. A vow was formed, for millennia to come. "I will."
Weeks passed by, and though Siddhartha had no clue that Y/N was actually a Goddess, he enjoyed his time spent with her and Jataka. Ever since she appeared at his Kingdom, quite a while ago, he felt that those two were kindred spirits, in ways that few could accomplish, as though they could understand each other simply through looks and smiles. Or maybe that's how mature adults think. One of the two, he wasn't quite sure. Either way, he often teased Jataka about taking her as one of his wives. He always got scolded when he did.
Y/N wasn't the most talkative, but he always appreciated her care for everyone, including him. All her kind words and sweet actions towards people made the young man want to spend more and more time with her.
At some point, he even came over to her, offering flowers - He had the most innocent, boyish grin - He was so adorable, really. Still, for some reason, Y/N only smiled sweetly at him, kissing his cheek and went away. Though he was flustered, he also felt... Rejected? Maybe his intentions weren't obvious enough? He wasn't quite sure - Not to mention, Jataka just laughed, but gave him no answer. Was he teasing him? Ha!
Jataka's time was nearing its end, and for the first time since they've known each other, Siddhartha was met with a confusing confession for his elder brother figure - The validity of his happiness. Was he happy, truly? Was the material world was the soul's fulfillment was? Or perhaps he was too shallow to realise... Or too inexperienced? Jataka said he realised how much he wanted to see the world and... Live. Alas, he couldn't, not only because of his illness, but because of his duties as a King, trapped in the comforting gold of his kingdom.
He panicked, seeing his older brother's bitter smile, looking into the horizon at the setting Sun, and he felt dread, watching the blood dripping down his hand as he continued to cough.
When the country went into deep mourning, he was shocked not to see Y/N anywhere. She must be glued to the coffin, no doubt. Everyone knew she was the closest person Jataka ever had. As Siddhartha rode towards the kingdom, he saw the people sobbing and weeping for their deceased King.
"The life I lived, who did it belong to, in the end?"
"Do you truly think I am a happy person?"
These questions rung through Siddhartha's mind, as soon as he heard that one assumption - "The king must have been truly happy."
But was he, really? Who's to say he was actually happy? The kingdom's prosperity? The people's well-being? No war, nor famine or plague in the lands he was governing?
At once, Siddhartha came to a revelation. He jumped off his horse, and weeping, he started cackling loudly, making people believe his grief drove him to madness.
As expected, as soon as he entered in the temple, he was met with sobbing people, lots of flowers, and a single woman glued to the King's coffin. Yes, Y/N loved flowers, and consequently, so did Jataka - Hence why Siddhartha gathered a whole basket of field flowers and strutted all the way to the coffin, throwing flowers around.
"Siddhartha...?" Y/N's sweet voice called out to him softly as she rose her crying face to look up at him. "You were right. I understand now, and I admit, you were right." he smiled at her. "I won't say it a second time though." "What are you talking about?" Siddhartha moved his gaze to Jataka, and offered a melancholic smile. "Hey, bro. You 'bout ready to go out of here?" with extraordinary strength, Siddhartha picked Y/N and placed her gingerly on his shoulder, as his other hand held Jataka's coffin. He was completely deaf to all the others yelling at him to stop his mad actions. "Piss off. Whatever Gods you're praying at today - My bro Jataka doesn't need their blessings. Because happiness... Comes from within."
Y/N gasped hearing his bold words - And she started crying. She was proud of him. Afternoon came, and the two knelt on the ground, gazing at the beautiful King amongst the flowers, having his coffin lowered onto the river sheen. "You are free, my friend. Now go and find your happiness yourself." they watched him disappear into the horizon, engulfed into the red rays of the beautiful Sun.
For the first time in the many years since they've known each other, Siddhartha witnessed Y/N offering him her undivided attention. As soon as the silhouette of the coffin was visible no more, she threw her arms around his torso and sobbed like a child. Siddharta smiled, moved that someone cared so much for his bro, and he held her smaller form into his embrace. "Why are you crying so much, you little crybaby? Don't you know - Suffering is only a concept bound to the material world. One day, when we enter Samsara, our souls will reunite with Bro's, and we will be friends again, in our next life - Again, and again, until we reach awakening and attain Nirvana." his words sounded so wise, unlike the childish beliefs of yester-year. "It is alright to upset, the wound is still fresh and ablaze. But Y/N - One should find happiness in remembering the beautiful memories guiding your future, rather than mourning the past." "I am so proud of you, Siddhartha." her words were nothing that he expected, and the young man was taken aback. "You are right. Yes, you are entirely right. If only that life was kinder to benevolent souls like yourself and Jataka." she continued vaguely.
Y/N rose her head to look up at him, a wide smile through her tears. "But, Siddhartha, you see - That truth only applies to mortals. As a Goddess, seeing beautiful souls die so young... Beautiful flowers withering all around you, as the garden you tended with so much love and care dies upon winter... It hurts every time, and no matter how many thousands of years pass, I cannot get over the suffering that loss has on me." Siddharta frowned slightly, confused at her statement. "Goddess, you say? Ha! That's funny." he grinned at her. "You see, I have just come to the realisation that I absolutely despise anything that tries to control my actions. I am a firm believer that we seam the tapestry of our own lives through the choices we make. Now I understand why Bro was so upset last time we met. You knew all this, didn't you, you little minx?" "Of course I did." she huffed lightly. "Siddhartha - Do you hate me for not saving Jataka? Now that you know my identity, you must be very upset that I just let him die." The young man let out an over-dramatic hum, placing his hand to his chin as if to mock thinking, before he popped out a negative answer. At least he retained his childish vitality. "What are you Goddess over, anyway? You healed people. Goddess of Life or what?" "Nature, Peace and Serenity." Siddhartha let out a sound of understanding. "No wonder I and Bro felt so good around you! It's like everything was good around you!" he cackled weirdly. "Must be hard on you, huh?" his theatrical expression turned more gentle and kind. "Having to take care of so many things at once. You know, my wife told me once that she can feel what our child feels. I'm not sure how it works, but it must be similar with you and everything you create right?" Y/N nodded her head, albeit, bewildered at the accurate comparison that he figured out on the spot. "Having to feel the emotion of every living being must be a huge pain in the ass." Y/N giggled in amusement. "I love and care for every living being, Siddhartha. It is like a gardener tending to a flower garden. Every human, every animal, every tree. Everything has life, and their vitality, their energy surges through my veins." she explained, taking a step back. She rose her hands up to take his hair away from his tail, letting it swish with the wind. His hair was so long, that it matches her own. "You dig in the dirt with your own fingers, and you bury the seed of life. Every morning, every afternoon and night, you tend to this seed, and care for it - You water it and fertilize it, protect it from parasites and the harsher weathers. When it comes up from under the first, you see the cutest, littlest sprout, braving to live and grow more. You watch it get bigger, and stronger over the course of many days, until finally, it reaches maturity, and it blossoms into the most beautiful flower." she smiled widely, creating a gorgeous flower crown, which she placed on his head. "But once it reaches maturity, the risk of illness increases. It matures until it grows old. You watch it lose its vibrant colours, the petals fall off one by one, until only a frail stem remains, falling from the faintest breeze, until finally, the roots rot, and the flower is no more." Siddhartha's grim comment about life made Y/N's beautiful gem-like eyes gleam with emotion. "So is life, yes." despite being overwhelmed with emotion, Y/N continued to speak. "Out of all my flowers - Siddhartha, you are my most beautiful lotus flower, and I am most proud of you." the young man blushed in surprised. "Creating humans, creating life - It is the effort of the collective of Gods, not mine alone; But creating, and caring for, is different. I may not be able to look over every living being in this large, large world, but I am most honoured that I was able to meet you and see you grow into such a wise young man."
At once, Siddhartha pulled Y/N into a tight hug, swinging her around enthusiastically. "Awwww, you're the sweetest! You're making me blush!" Y/N was quickly beginning to get dizzy from all the twirling and swinging around from the awfully strong prince. "What did you promise Bro?" "Oh? You knew about that?" Y/N chuckled softly, trying to regain her balance. "I promised that I would take care of you, the same way I did for him." Siddharta grinned widely. "Nope!" Y/N looked at him, a little confused. "I've got a better idea, actually." he brought Y/N at arm's length, his hands placed firmly on her shoulders. "You knew I liked you, didn't you?" Y/N nodded her head. "But a mortal doesn't live long enough, so they can't hang around an immortal, huh?" Y/N's eyes lingered towards the river, before nodding again. "Welp, I've got an idea!" his dazzling smile was more charming than any God. "You see, I want to go on a pilgrimage, all by myself. I want to find myself, and my own happiness. I want to find my purpose. I need to do this alone - Though don't worry, if I am to encounter a like-minded friend, then we will travel together." he spoke. "Will you wait for my return, Y/N? Until I reach my Enlightenment and become an iteration of myself with which I can be proud of?" Y/N smiled dearly at the young man, glowing like the morning Sun. "I will wait for you for as many cycles it takes you to find me again. I hope that, by the time you return, you will have achieved true happiness, and I can see your beautiful smile again. Siddhartha."
The young man smiled brightly before pulling Y/N into a sweet kiss. "Something to look forward to." he gave her a peace sign before walking away. "See ya, Y/N! Laters!" "Have a safe journey, you little troublemaker." Y/N smiled dearly, waving at him. Though life as a God was long and tedious, and relationships were shallow, she felt a pure love like she's never experienced before. Whether she sees the young man again or not, she knew he was going to be just fine.
Since then, Y/N returned to the Gods, continuing her boring life, watching over the nature of Earth from above. Life truly wasn't all that exciting for deities living so long, but once in a while, something big happens - Big enough for the whole foundation of Valhalla to shake to the core.
If a human becoming a demi-God wasn't exceptional enough, considering the bravery and righteousness that Heracles displayed; A man had somehow attained supreme spiritual awakening, and ascended to the title of Buddha the Enlightened, the Wise. A human achieved Godhood.
Siddhartha Gautama
As soon as he saw the Goddess, completely frozen from shock of seeing him in Heavens, he let out a childish squeal and leapt on her, rubbing his cheek on her face as though he's a kitten or something. He told her how much he missed her and what not - Surprise! He even had his own brand of delicious lollipops to share with her! And lots and lots of chocolate too! Oh, and they had so much to catch up!
He told Y/N all about his journey and the people he met, those he guided on their path to achieving happiness, and all the sightseeing he did. Best of all, he reminisced all the awakening he did over the years - And how much he missed her! Haha, a joke - He is always determined to get what he wants, so of course, he was patient. Craving would only bring him suffering, thus the knowledge of knowing the Goddess was there, waiting for him, soothed his worried into a calm peace of mind.
Siddhartha - Now, Buddha - Still felt so giddy, being called by his name. Only Y/N could call him that, of course! No one else had that privilege. The more she spoke his name, the happier he was. Buddha ended up playfully pinning Y/N to the bed, kissing all over her face and tickling her, feeling his heart lighter with every sweet giggle she let. When she couldn't take the tickling anymore, the Goddess wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him flush against her chest; She took off his hair tie once again, and the pretty crown-like accessory holding it in a lotus-like style, and she caressed his locks soothingly. "I missed you." three simple words, yet they had the strongest effect on him. He felt compelled to engulf her in his strong arms, cuddling together, two hearts soulbound for an eternity of spiritual happiness.
Many, many years passed, and Buddha and Y/N were inseparable. Gods may argue, and so do humans, but never once did anyone even see them disagree on anything, let alone argue. Was it the endless patience and compassion of the Buddha, or that Y/N was always too kind to say anything that might upset someone, and detested confrontation; She'd rather walk away, or smile, instead of disagreeing with anyone.
That was their biggest similarity, but also, their biggest difference - Buddha was never one to back away from a fight against someone he couldn't stand - In his case, most of the Gods. Ironic, isn't it, he told Y/N so many times; How one can detest the very being they became, with the same strength that they love another just as much. He was a God who hated Gods, yet a God, who loved a Goddess as much as he loved the happiness and freedom he achieved.
"You have to find your own happiness within you." he told her once, watching Y/N dancing around the forest. Everywhere she stepped, flowers grew. "That may be so, Siddhartha - But my happiness increases whenever I see you." she bent to his side, grabbing his wrists and pulling him up to dance with her. Though all kinds of flowers bloomed wherever she stepped, hence why she always walked with no shoes on; Where Buddha stepped, beautiful white lilies grew. Together, they created endless flower gardens, more ethereal than any other God could make.
One would think eternal bliss was in store for them - Alas, one so connected to Nature as Y/N, was bound to suffer greatly, to the hands of the mankind she cherished so much. Buddha often saw how Y/N would try to sneak away into the forests, all alone. Though he hadn't seen her, he could sense her distress, her agony. After the third time that she refused to confide in him, preferring to keep the problem hidden, the newly Awaken God decided to confront her himself.
Instead, once he arrived at the edge of the forest, he found Y/N collapsed on the grass, writhing in pain. Panicked, he fell to his knees, cradling her in his arms, calling out her name; She seemed feverish and weak, but Gods couldn't contract illnesses, could they? Surely, they can't. He held her tight in her embrace, wishering the Heart Sutra in her ear over and over again, until finally, her breathing evened out, and the pain subsided.
"Pfeww, don't scare me like that, gorgeous! You're going to give me a heart attack!" he collapsed on his back dramatically. "Forgive me... I didn't want you to see me like this." Y/N sighed, rolling on the grass next to him. "I did not want you to see me cursing the humanity that I loved so much." "Humanity caused you this pain? What do you mean?" he turned to his side, his blue water lily eyes widening. "Take a look for yourself." she guided him to the edge of the floating forest. "Look there - They are at war. Countless people are dying all at once, the grass is drowning in blood, the animals are perishing." she sighed softly, before pointing to the opposite side. "And there - The deforestation, the excessive hunting - That whole hill is bare of life and decrepit, all so that humans may build and build and build some more." "Ahh, I see, so I was more right than I realised, though to think it would affect you to the point of being physically ill. My poor, poor baby Y/N!" he threw his arms around her, rolling on the grass with her dramatically. There was nothing that he could do to save her from this - It was the course that humanity took for itself, but perhaps there might be a way to somehow detach her, even by a little bit, from her connection with that which was created. Perhaps, that-a-way, the suffering may subside. Until then, however, he can only distract her with his love and playfulness. It was working wonders.
For thousands of years, humanity existed, with the will of the Gods, until that will was no more. Even Aphrodite herself, disgusted with the state of the world, agreed to decimate mankind. Shocked with the outcome, Y/N was the first to step forward and protest. Though she couldn't see Buddha looking at her, she could feel his presence and his lingering gaze. She wanted to fight for the mankind that destroyed her from within. None of the actions of humanity were directly affecting either of the Gods, except for her for the most part. She was the only one with the validity of voting, and if she wanted mankind to continue living, she had every right to vouch for them.
But they didn't care for her opinions - Instead, they laughed, saying her pain will disappear along with the humans, and she can achieve serendipity. How ridiculous. Thankfully, Brunhilde's plan of inducing Ragnarok worked, and thus, the thirteen fights were to take place.
Worried, Y/N quickly rushed out of the conference room, needing some time alone to regain herself. She was panicking and afraid. True, eliminating the humans was bound to relieve her heart of suffering - But at what cost? There were so many good people, innocent people out there, who did nothing wrong. Why should they perish, for the mistakes of others? Like how Adam and Even were cast away from Heaven, due to the disgusting lies and deceit of the Snake, so will billions and billions of other people suffer eternal Doomsday.
It wasn't fair.
A mother doesn't kill their own child for misbehaving. The Gods were being as selfish as always.
"N'aww, sweet-cheeks, don't tell me you're crying again! You know it breaks my heart seeing you like this!" though Buddha wasn't expecting to be pinned to the wall, Y/N's fingers digging deep into his shoulders. "We can't let them die, Siddhartha! We can't! They are innocent!" Y/N cried out, looking into his beautiful eyes. "Please, don't tell me you're on their side! We can't - We can't let them die! But what can we do? We are so few, against so many of them - And they're all so unreasonable and short-sighted." Buddha felt pain in his heart, listening to the distress of her voice, seeing the glimmering of her eyes. "I know! I'll... I'll fight for mankind! I... I've never fought in my life... But I am the Goddess of Peace. To know Peace is to know War; and to know War, is to know Peace. One must protect that which he holds dear. That's right, isn't it?" "Y/N." he called out in a gentle, calm voice. "Please, calm down." "Siddhartha...?" she found herself calling out his name. "You and I - We are soulbound, aren't we? We want the same thing. And you, more than anyone else in this world, know how much I hate being told what to do." he pulled her into a deep kiss. "And I'll be damned before I allow anyone to make you cry." Her distressed look turned into a content smile of relief, and she snuggled into his arms. "I love you so much." those words never failed to make his heart leap with joy.
Once Ragnarok began, Heimdall would call out the champions of the Gods, while Y/N would call the Mankind warriors to come over. It was the least she could do, apart from encouraging each of the fighters.
Mankind had a staggering two consecutive losses, and each time, Y/N took the short pause between matches to weep and regain herself. Staying in the ring for the duration of the fight, she used her magical powers to create a strong shield for the audience, so that none of the match-attacks would mistakenly harm anyone watching.
She felt sad yet emboldened seeing Lu Bu's tragic death, but also, his horse and brothers in arms asking for death, to be reunited in Niflheim with their General. She saw Thor smile for the first time in his life, after having fought with all of his mind against an honorable and strong member of mankind. Likewise, her heart shattered watching Adam's conviction is protecting his children from perdition, the very same she wished.
Thankfully, the great Sasaki was able to slash to death none other than Poseidon himself; Though not the most agreeable person, she still felt sad to see him gone forever. Alas. Y/N hugged the old man, thanking him for his resilience and strength before picking him up and bringing him to the infirmary.
The same happened with Jack the Ripper, a man despised by all mankind and humanity for being the scum of the earth. Y/N knew better - She knew all of their lives. In truth, though she disagreed with his actions, she pitied Jack, the poor man. He truly was a pitiable one. Unlike Poseidon, Heracles was wept by all, Gods and humans alike, whilst Jack got ostracised, ridiculed and insulted, even having stones thrown at him, despite already being injured. That angered Y/N.
"How dare you speak ill of the man who put his life on the line for humanity to keep living?! He has no descendants, he has no family - He fought for humanity, though he had nothing to gain out of it! He got the recognition of Heracles himself, and tied the score against the Gods with his shrewdness and wit - And yet you dare talk down to him? I don't see you in here, facing the wrath of the Gods who want you dead!" Buddha felt himself cackling from the stand, watching the Goddess pick up a grown man like he was a bride and actively healing him with love and care like none other before. What a darling she always was.
Unfortunately, Mankind lost the 5th match, with poor Raiden dying against Shiva, the God of Destruction. Still, the only good thing coming out of all the matches was that Y/N could sense the fighting Gods getting genuine admiration for the strength, selflessness and righteousness of humanity, beginning with Thor calling Lu Bu his friend, Zeus acknowledging Adam's strength in protecting his kin, Sasaki defeating Poseidon himself, Heracles loving humanity and Jack himself, and Shiva admiring Raiden's power.
And thus, the sixth match was to take place. The doors opened, and two rows of seven pink water lilies appeared - The familiar silhouette of Buddha appeared. Y/N looked at his unbothered face, blowing up bubblegum, his weapon lazily swung over his shoulder. He was smirking, winking at Y/N mischievously, reveling in the spotlight before he stepped by the Goddess' side and pulled her over into his side as he got to where the human representative was to stand.
He spit his gum in Heimdall's hand, snatching away his Gjallarhorn. "Excuse me. Testing. Testing." he spoke into the horn. "Uhhh... I'm gonna fight for Mankind. Ya dig?" the whole arena was in ecstasy. Numerous comments were thrown around, denigrating Buddha as he shattered the horn in his grasp. "Piss off." he pointed with his weapon towards Zeus. "Y'all made my girl cry. Screw you. If the Gods aren't going to save mankind, then I will. And if any God gets in my way..." he slammed the butt of the weapon into the ground, his expression now serious and devoid of any joy. "I'll kill 'em."
He truly is the kind not to take orders from anyone. Though Heimdall tried to press on that he can't switch sides, Zeus himself approved anyway. "Are you prepared to make enemies with all of the Gods?" "Dang, you're such a pain!" Buddha scoffed at Odin, pulling Y/N even closer to his side. "Remember what I said before? Whether you're allies or enemies, good or evil, Gods or Humans, none of that matters!" Buddha was glowing brightly with intense confidence. "In all universe, nothing else matters, except me!"
Such a narcissistic comment, added to the intense frustration of the Gods, made Y/N burst into laughter along with him. Two weirdos. "So, who am I fighting?"
The Seven Fortunes stepped into the arena and fused into a single deity. Vaisravana was no more, and instead, one called Zerofuku appeared. The Eight Gods of Fortune were actually a single entity. This Zerofuku guy was a real weirdo, even for their standards, and he confessed his intense wish to slaughter Buddha with all of his might, as he created his sinister weapons which got bigger and bigger the more misfortune he encountered.
Though Y/N didn't know of Zerofuku's past, he knew Buddha. He was able to take the misfortune of the humans into his own body, until he couldn't any more, only to receive discontempt and realise that those he tried to help were in no way less misfortunate than before. Material luxury and sinful indulgences did nothing to appease the soul. Instead, Zerofuku had to witness strings of people following Buddha in his path to Enlightenment. He got jealous, unable to understand his teachings - Yet somehow, no matter how cryptic or enigmatic Zerofuku found Buddha's words, the other people - Including those whom he helped previously - Began following the Awakened One close behind.
The more Zero attacked, the bigger his weapon grew, for Buddha could see the flickers of his soul and evade all the hits before they even happened. He was even taunting the God, intentionally or not, driving him into a mad frenzy. The few attacks that Buddha threw all landed with tremendous effect, earning cheers and applause from the audience.
Though he couldn't see Y/N reaction, Buddha was sure she was a worrying mess - That's her caring nature, after all - Yet seeing Zero's weapon growing as large as the whole arena, and him not moving from his spot, well - He feared she might be fainting on the spot, like a poor damsel in distress. Well, he'll just have to sweep her off her feet and protect her like the chevalier of light that he is!
Y/N knew, in theory, that Buddha's weapon transformed in each of the Six Paths identities depending on his emotions, and with his being a master at controlling his moods, he could form anything at will, more or less, so she wasn't all that surprised when the weapon transformed into a Shield to block the huge weapon. Still, she almost wished she could see all of the Paths.
Next, he used the Spiked Club of Nirvana, trembling to charge in an attack - And so he did, sweeping to the ground and causing lethal damage on the demon's side. The demon's weapon turned into two swords, to which Buddha made his weapon turn into a large halbert, easily countering every one of Zero's attacks. His misfortune was increasing, and his weapon turned into a multitude of hooks acting like snakes - He retaliated with a Vajra, running around and cutting them away to bits.
"Love yourself!" Buddha encouraged the poor demon. "I actually like you quite a lot, Zerofuku." that comment made the misfortunate one start sobbing and staring at the graceful God, shining brighter than the golden Sun. Zero's anger subsided and he finally understood who he really is, and what he wants from life. His weapon disappeared, and Buddha also threw his own to the ground, proposing an outright fist-fight. What a child, Y/N giggled, watching that playful smirk on his face as he intentionally allowed the pitiable demon to strike him back. Y/N could never image ever letting herself feel physical hurt just for fun - Alas, men were weird, and Buddha especially, was one of a kind.
Zerofuku was on the ground, sprawled, with all his misfortune and anger seeping out of his in a cloud. His purple hair turned pure white, and his blissful grin, that childlike innocence and glee were sparkling in his eyes. Buddha, also, was happy to have helped another worthy person achieve spiritual happiness - Until the horns on either side of his skull penetrated deep into his brain, worming their way inside his body. Zerofuku was engulfed by two dragons, one blue and one red. Buddha could do nothing to safe his new friend. Instead, he was forced to watch Zero disappearing, and a true evil appearing in his stead.
The Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, Papiyas, was reborn.
Buddha immediately leapt back, afraid for the first time, for there was a creature of pure darkness, whom he couldn't read. He hadn't an inkling of brightness in his soul which he could read. Y/N, like everyone else, was trembling from the sheer malevolence of the demon. Terrifying, Y/N ran in front of Buddha, standing protectively in front of him - She knew, if need be, her defense magic was second to none in Valhalla.
There goes this legend about a terrifying foe from Helheim - Hades told her this story once, dating before he was ruled of the Underworld - That this enemy destroyed half of the realm... Or rather, it was lucky enough that even half of it was left intact, to some degree.
Once Papiyas turned his arm into a weapon, Y/N summoned her polearm into her grasp, parrying the attack. The Gods all gasped - It has been thousands of years since they've seen the Goddess of Peace fight. In truth, it was only during the Titanomachy that she fought - To protect her Peace, one must go to War. It was an irony that she had to accept as a true axioma.
"H-Hey, Y/N, it's not your fight! Two people can't fight for a single side!" she heard Heimdall's shaky voice call out. "To hell with your rules, Heimdall! If this freak doesn't die, we're all screwed!" Y/N growled, struggling to push him back, counter and block all of his strikes that came at the speed of lightning. "If Zeus accepted the intervention of the Valkyries for all the other fights, then for goodness' sake, there's hardly any difference, is there?!" "I SHALL ALLOW IT!" Zeus' amused voice called out from the stands, as Y/N leapt back, just a step in front of Buddha. She was breathing heavily from the effort. "Siddhartha, stand back." her overprotectiveness was taking over her senses. "I will fight with my fullest power." Papiyas glared at the two. "THAT WAS YOU HOLDING BACK?!" Y/N cried out at him. "Gosh... Buddha, come over." quickly, Y/N placed a few flowers in his hair. "This will protect you from harm... I hope." she muttered the last bit, watching as Papiyas was preparing a drill-like strike called the Pandaemonium Cycle. Before she could react, Buddha dragged Y/N behind him, pulling his shield up - But the drill was capable of penetrating through it, gouging his left eye out.
"S...Siddhartha...?!" Y/N started, shuddering in distress at her lover's injury. He protected her, while he got his eye drilled into mush. "Don't worry about me, worry about that monster!" Buddha transformed his weapon into the sword away, engaging in an exchange of slashes that barely left a scar on the demon's neck. Buddha had to make adjustments to his attacks, because of his blindspot. fighting with one eye only as he was gradually being whittled down.
"Judgement." Papiyas smirked, impaling Buddha's foot, urging him to leap back once again. Y/N couldn't believe there were idiot Gods out there, begging for Buddha's death - Idiots. The Demon King pointed out Zerofuku was no more - He ate him - Shocking both Buddha and Y/N. What a monster, they thought, and the Enlightened one was feeling even more angered, enough to curse at him. "I've made up my mind. I'm gonna KILL YOU!" Y/N, nor anyone else, ever saw Buddha's wrath. Hopefully, it will serve him and humanity well. His staff transformed into the Hatred Emotion which created a weapon he's never seen before, the Warscythe of Salakaya, which had a menacing head of a roaring lion on it. "Preposterous." Papiyas spat. "For a piece of trash such as you, to defy a supreme being like me... I will waste no time passing judgement! And nothing could be more pleasant than that!" his laugh roared through the whole arena. "Stick that judgement up your ass, you sick fuck!" the audience gasped with the curse of the Goddess as Buddha attacked first with his blade, before unleashing an infernal fire towards the demon.
Blood spilled to the ground, though Buddha was the most confused of all. He was the one who initiated the attack, and it was his blade that cut away at Papiyas' arm. It was him who was supposed to get impaled by the enemy's weapon - So why the hell was Y/N standing before him like a meat shield, while he was unscathed?! "Y/N...?" his single remaining eye was wide with shock, staring at the blood splattering to the ground, and the soft tremble of her body. "The flower protected you." Y/N smiled weakly. "That is my happiness in life. Caring for those I hold dear to my heart." she giggled softly. "How pathetic. Any last words?" Papiyas grunted menacingly. "The whole world shall freeze over before I allow a pathetic little shit like you hurt my children. You, and all the Gods that oppose us - All who wish for mankind's erasure - I will fucking burn you all to death until there's nothing left of you to commemorate your wretched existence." Y/N smirked, grabbing Papiyas' arm and forcing herself through the weapon, sticking her own blade into his shoulder. That pissed the demon enough to kick her into the God behind her, toppling them to the ground. "Never do that again!" Buddha briefly scolded her. "Sorry, love, but I will do that, for as many times as my body keeps holding me. I am not strong, but I am resilient. It is you who can kill him, not me. If you are alive, we can win this. Together." Buddha got up, glaring angrily at the demon. "You have twice more, Siddhartha. That is my limit. After that, you're on your own. Use my power wisely." Buddha understood the implication well enough without any explanation - If he gets careless again, Y/N will die, protecting him. Similar to the story of the Moon Rabbit, so is she; Whilst the monkey, the fox and the bird gathered fruit, mean and nuts for the traveler to eat, the rabbit, knowing it could only gather some grass, threw itself into the fire for the man to eat him. Moved by the selflessness of the rabbit, the traveler, who was actually Sakra himself, made it so that the fire did not burn the rabbit, and instead, created the moon in its liking, and the fumes that would have burnt it, the fog surrounding it.
Still, Siddhartha did NOT want to see Y/N actually killing herself like that; Though an admirable and selfless act, he did not want to mourn her, the way he did Jataka long ago. He had to win. He MUST win.
"You're weak. Way weaker than Zero." Buddha taunted the Demon King into attacking him, and he parried all of his hits for as long as he could, before getting kicked away again. His continuing of the mocking caused the Demon King such rage, that he managed to find the perfect opening through his attack, impaling him again - Only, it wasn't him, but Y/N, much to Buddha's dismay. "Damn it, Y/N! Damn it, damn it, damn it!" he wanted to destroy the last flower in his hair, but he didn't have the strength. "One last chance, Siddhartha. Don't waste it." Y/N felt so weak as she got thrown away to the other side of the arena, rolling to the ground like a used ragdoll. "Y/N!" she heard her lover called out, afraid for her life - But as long as the flower of life was pulsating energy within him, he was reassured she was still alive and continuing to actively heal him.
Buddha continued his plan of mocking the enemy, causing him uncharacteristic fright, to the point that he tore off his arm to create a mighty weapon.
Buddha attacked again, though surprisingly, the blade of his Scythe got cut off and shattered to the ground. "Seriously...?!" he gasped, not having expected his Divine Treasure to break, of all things. He tried to defend with his staff, but that, too, broke, sending him away. He was sent to the ground, crashing down with such force that he couldn't move. "SIDDHARTHA!" Y/N cried, crawling to his side and holding him in her arms. She tried desperately to heal him, but he was unconscious, thus nothing she could do. As Papiyas was menacingly approaching, Y/N used her weapon to hoist herself up, creating a shield to protect the two until he woke up.
Thankfully, Buddha achieved enlightenment once again, and he got up, holding Zerofuku's old weapon. The crown holding his hair together shattered, and his gorgeous hair was shown for all to see. "Thank you, Y/N, Zero. Let's fight together, yes?" Y/N smiled sweetly, seeing him confident once again. "Yeah. Let's." despite her bloodloss, Y/N smiled, preparing her weapon. "Samavadhana Volundr!" Buddha and Zero together created a Divine Weapon that only Buddha could attaint through sublime enlightenment. A gorgeous and strong weapon, containing the strength and feelings of all the Gods of Fortune.
Ready to fight, Buddha kept up perfectly with the Demon King, parrying all of his attacks as strong as never before - And he was grinning, confident and self assured, even managing to inflict massive damage, at the cost of some minor injuries on himself. Still, he had to finish things fast, before either he or Y/N perish. He managed to slash away perfectly at his chest one again, though it wasn't as deep as he'd have liked. The climax was approaching fast. Y/N stepped by his side, holding his hand to transfer the last bit of energy into him, so he could keep going - At this rate, he'd only get more injuries, so at least he must keep his vitality and strength, for as long as it lasts. The one sided exchange of life that only Y/N could gift to another.
No matter how Papiyas continued to attack, Buddha was so fast and accurate that no more hit grazed him. The last ultimate attack of the Demon King - All thought landed, but instead, it was a clone, crumbling in an array of petals. Y/N grinned impishly, pointing behind him, as Buddha was ready to kill the foe.
Just as he turned, the last thing Papiyas saw was Buddha's Godly form, perfect beyond boundaries existent to Godhood, and the sword of light, love and compassion shined bright through the dark arena, slicing down the Demon King in two or three. different parts. It didn't matter that Papiyas tried to attack again, for Y/N slapped his hand away, watching as Niflheim was crumbling him to dust.
Somewhere in the sky, the light of heaven showed the happy soul of Zerofuku and the other Seven Gods of Fortune, ascending to Nirvana - Together, in friendship. Buddha couldn't contain his tears of glee, as he brought Y/N into his side, holding the sword dearly into his grasp. Everyone was chanting Buddha's name as he reveled in his win. The sword disappeared, but a bird that loved Zero sat on it, weeping for the loss of its benefactor.
Barely able to stand up, Buddha used all of his strength to drag Y/N out of the arena - Somehow, he was rather sure she was in a far worse shape than he was, having taken two direct hits like that. Not only that, but the refreshing feeling of the gentle caress that Y/N's energy felt, healing him, was keeping him very much alive and giddy. "You were so cool, Y/N. I didn't know you could do all that." Y/N smiled enigmatically. "They say true strength can be found when protecting that which is dearest to you. The truth is, Siddhartha, that I love you more than anything else is this world. You make me the happiest I've ever been." "Ha! Hear you, all sappy and sweet! Y'know you're gonna make me melt!" he cackled, pulling her into a gentle kiss, afraid of causing her more pain. "Let's get all better and continue rooting for humanity, yes? We've done all we could. The rest is their burden to bear - And I think they've done a pretty damn good job so far, don't you think?" "Hella." when she lost strength in her legs, Buddha immediately reacted, picking her up and cradling her in his arms like a princess. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you did that intentionally." he teased her, kissing her forehead. "If most of my blood was inside of me, and not out in the arena, it would have been intentional." she smirked back at him just as comically.
After getting the much required medical care, they continued watching the matches from the comfort of their chamber, laying on the comfortable, fluffy bed, cuddled in each other's arms. Y/N had tied his hair up again, and instead of his golden crown, she replaced it with one made of flowers. He, in return, caressed her hair until she relaxed completely, singing softly the Heart Sutra for her, for as long as it took for her to achieve a much needed peace.
All things are empty: Nothing is born, nothing dies, Nothing is pure, nothing is stained, Nothing increases and nothing decreases. So, in emptiness, there is no body, No feeling, no thought, No will, no consciousness.
There are no eyes, no ears, No nose, no tongue, No body, no mind. There is no seeing, no hearing, No smelling, no tasting, No touching, no imagining. There is nothing seen, nor heard, Nor smelled, nor tasted, Nor touched, nor imagined.
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lady-of-tearshed · 4 months
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Bodhi Durran masterlist
One-shots:
The healer said (Smut) (Fluff) (Angst) (X Reader)
Bodhi Durran taglist:
Artists credits:
drsoarresrex
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velvetlilacsdaisies · 6 months
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Shit at Feelings iv
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Bodhi Durran x fem!reader
Synopsis: Bonding with dragons? No issue. Killing venin? Unfortunate, but doable. Confronting your feelings towards your childhood best friend? No thanks.
Word count: 6k 🫢
Warnings: swearing (ofc), drinking, angstttt, y/n lore, lmk if I missed anything, not proofread at the end lmaooo
A/n: the long awaited part 4!! Hope y’all aren’t disappointed, trying not to think so hardly on this part bc I scrapped and rewrote this so many times 😅
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You're unsure of when it started during the night, but as you sat at the booth with Violet, Rihannon, and Nadine; something stirred in your chest. You desperately tried to look interested in the conversation, trying to meet the eyes of Rihannon trying to focus on the way she animatedly told a story. Laugh when the women poked fun at Violet for something cheeky she’d bring up. Adding input to Nadine’s questions despite having to ask her to repeat herself without having your eyes dragging themselves to look at the other side of the bar.
Who was she?
She wore a dressed down pale blue healer uniform, her skin flawless free of relics and tattoos, glossy perfect red hair that cascaded down her back in waves. She radiated bubbliness from what you observed as she laughed at whatever Bodhi said or did a little dance when her friend sunk a billiard into a pocket. She always seemed to go right back to chatting with him. You couldn’t bear watching her cling to him, but you couldn’t drag your eyes away.
You were well aware you had no right to be sitting there, stomach churning with a bitterness of cold ire…but here you were doing just that.
Rihannon clicked her teeth, making you snap your attention back to the group. You didn’t even try to offer a coy look—this was the second time one of them caught you. You had tried the last two hours to hide your irritation, but it just kept beckoning to the surface. Slowly ticking away within you as if you were going to burst at the seams.
“Okay, what is going on between you two?” She laid her palms flat on the table.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You took a sip of your drink, acting as nonchalant as you could.
She gave you an incredulous look. “The fact you shied away from him all first year, then the first night of break whatever that was.” She waved her hand. “The other day during breakfast, when Dain came to grab him for the leadership meeting, and it was clear as day he was practically undressing you with his eyes when we first arrived.” she rattled off.
“It’s like I’m watching a romance novel unfold in real time.” Nadine said dramatically, a hand moving to her forehead feigning fainting.
You cringed, “it’s-it’s definitely not like that.”
“Not like what?” Quinn interrupted walking up to your own group. Bodhi and Imogen still had been at the table.
The mystery girl touching his built bicep. He had discarded his jacket an hour ago, his rebellion mark on display underneath his tight short sleeve t-shirt. “Ohhh,” she followed your gaze to Bodhi. “Immy told me all about this.” She said in delight to your dismay, taking a seat next to Nadine.
You brought your attention over to the curly haired blond girl. “Does everyone know about this ‘something’ except the two people this ‘something’ is about?” You snapped.
Everyone seemed to have an exciting interest in the nonexistent relationship between you and your childhood best friend.
Quinn merely raised her hands defensively, Rihannon and Nadine awkwardly sipping their drinks looking at the table interested in the wood grain.
“We’re all in the same wing, same section, Y/n it’s hard to ignore the hot and cold between the two of you.” Violet had a softened look in her eyes, being the most sympathetic toward you.
You flushed realizing your outburst, not meaning to aim it at your new found friends. The gnawing bitter feeling was just eating at you, and you couldn’t stop it from being all consuming.
“Sorry,” you mumbled, a scowl on your lips, staring into the clear fizzy liquid in your glass. Despite the tension you created, you looked at the bubbly girl across from you. “Quinn, who is that girl?”
She had a hesitant look on her face, her brown eyes swirled with trepidation. “Ariante, a third year healer.” She offered a short response, seeming to know more than she let on.
You only nodded, turning back to the other side of the bar watching the billiards tables. Ariante, the beautiful young woman, was lining up to shoot the shot, and shot Bodhi a wink before shooting. A small snarl left your lip unknowingly at the sight, leaving all the group to cast worried glances your way.
You grimaced at your behavior, not entirely sure why you had visibly been so riled up at the sight. “I’m gonna get some water.” You stood up, and left the group without another word.
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Ariante skimmed her dainty plain manicured hands over Bodhi’s biceps as she giggled over something he told the group he played with. Usually her advances didn’t bother him, last year he had given in to them as a distraction many times when Y/n avoided him like a disease. Tonight though, his chest hammered in annoyance—maybe not just with her in general, but everything tonight seemed to be so overstimulating.
The loud tavern, how he fought a flinch every time the que would knock against a billiard, the musty smell of alcohol and fried food permeating the space, and how fucking unbearably hot he was.
He knew it had nothing due to the summer weather, that the heat that festered deep within him was caused by something wholly different.
Usually he’d use churam to block Cuir out, but the effects of the few drinks he had made it harder to keep that mental shield up and his dragon’s emotions started to take over. Of course Cuir and Cleasaí chose tonight of all nights to fight.
He had spent a year being accustomed to this, but he worried about you.
You still had been clueless to everything, your dragon stubbornly kept you in the dark, which had frustrated both him and Cuir. You didn’t deserve any of that, and he couldn’t help the pang of guilt he felt when he thought about it. He watched how tense you were at the booth, the girl’s giggling at what seemed like your expense; a scowl on your pretty lips at the interaction.
Another wave of heat filled and irritation rippled through him, and he screwed his eyes shut trying to ground himself. He had ripped his jacket off an hour ago, but to no avail aided any relief to his skin. It seemed it only made the pretty third year healer cling to him more. And the only aid that was brought, was to the disdain that rose with the proximity of her.
“Damn it Henrick!” Quinn stomped her foot frustratedly, making him open his eyes again. “I thought I was playing with an amateur?”
Sawyer had a broad grin as he nabbed the gold coins on the corner of the parallel table across from the one him and Imogen played at. “Beginners luck?” He shrugged casually.
The curly haired blond furrowed her eyebrows at the redhead. “Mhm, sure. Beginner’s luck my ass.”
Imogen cackled at her friend. “You’re the one that suggests putting coins down.”
Quinn mimicked Imogen, before a playful glare settled on her features. “Shove it Cardulo, I’m gonna go wallow in pity now if you need me.” She handed the cue to Sawyer before flouncing off to the rest of the group they came with.
Bodhi’s brown eyes not paying any mind to the feisty third year rider as she joined the booth, he instead had been focused on you again. Watching how your tongue darted in between your soft looking lips licking them, the same scowl still lingering on your face.
He had longed to get a feeling of what your lips felt like since he was barely an adult. Doing anything at this point to have a taste of you, knowing he shouldn’t have felt that way. You had always been just barely out of his reach, but he would have risked anything to have that moment as selfish as it sounded.
You were his best friend.
It was more than the idea of blurring the lines of your friendship that stopped him in the past; you were never meant to be anyone else’s, but who was chosen for you. Your parents had made you a lady of the Aretian aristocracy. The intent to secure a cushy life to make sure you would never have to experience war and hardship like they had—even if it wasn’t a love match. You were forced to take the decision they made for you with poise and grace. Exposed to the corrupt society of the aristocracy that lurked behind the violence since a preteen, never supposed to know war and violence like he had. But by the time the peak of the rebellion happened, and Execution Day arrived—it had been too late for the first hand you had been dealt with. Another decision instead handed to you from a choice that hadn’t been yours to ever make.
It was self indulgent thought, but the moment he knew you safely crossed the parapet—there was a hope that ignited in Bodhi’s chest he hadn’t felt in a long while. Despite the blatant act of avoidance on your part, he quietly watched your every move the first year.
Made sure Imogen spent extra time training with you so you’d be ready for your next challenge, telling her what she needed to critique you on from sparring lessons. Insisting Garrick to convince you to eat more than what you usually did so you could bulk muscle to help ease through the gauntlet. Pleading with Xaden to rearrange squads in the flame section so he could keep a better eye on you. Every action in efforts to aid you from the help of your mutual found family was a coercion from him; so he would know you’d have a shot at surviving this hellscape.
For only a measly chance of you to finally acknowledge him.
It had only been a coincidence (or was it? Cleasaí was known to be petty) you had bonded with Cuir’s other half. The mated dragons hadn’t talked since the end of his first year. The first half of being bonded to the notorious green filled with tumultuous arguments that he didn’t know what started from. They had only been recently mated in the last decade from what Cuir told him.
Bodhi swore he did more supply runs for churam than weapons by the end of the year before they went no contact, and just coexisted in the Vale with one another.
He would have preferred that over feeling the wavering aggression through the bond at this very moment.
“Handsome boy,” Ariante cooed, snapping her fingers to get his attention from across the table. Realizing he had zoned out again staring at you, Ridoc clapped him on the back.
“Yeah handsome boy...” he purred mockingly. Bodhi shrugged his hand off quite hastily. He was not in the mood for the second year’s comedic relief…and the overly inebriated physical touch of the counterpart.
Imogen sensed his discomfort by how tense he had looked, his posture usually more lax, or a boyish grin that had been replaced with a grimace. “Gamlyn, go get us some water.” She barked, face set to a hard grimace.
Ridoc with wide eyes in the fear of the short woman, saluted the group before walking off to the bar.
Bodhi reminded himself to thank her later once he was in a better mood. Instead he twisted his face into something that barely showed interest, not like it mattered, the healer was two shits to the wind at this point. Just caring his eyes were on her. Smiling brightly once he turned back to her, even if it was a stoic look he had on.
“I need you to watch as you lose this round.” She giggled, grabbing the cue from her friend’s hand.
The tawny skinned man watched disinterestedly as she made a show of setting her shot up. She swayed her hips to the table, making sure to press her chest down into the polished wood edges so her low cut tank top showed her cleavage as she lined up her shot. She made eye contact with him, offering a seductive wink, before clumsily shooting and completely missing the pocket. If he wasn’t so aggravated, he could have laughed at the scene.
It was Imogen’s turn now, and he subconsciously let his attention wander back to the booth again, noting you were now absent from the table.
It shouldn’t have been a big deal, but his heart skipped a beat in panic. He scanned the tavern looking for a glimpse of where you could have gone. He could spot you out of a crowd anywhere—from the way you wore your hair to the way you carried yourself.
His brown eyes searched the makeshift dance floor in between tables, the line for the bathroom, the exits of the tavern. The sense of relief when he finally found you should have eased his heart, instead it pounded louder and louder as his vision tunneled. Bodhi’s stomach churned with a burning green feeling, watching you sit at an empty side of the bar with Ridoc, smiling at him as the pair of you talked.
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“So yeah, then Imogen told me to grab some water for them, and now I’m here doing that.” Ridoc rambled on about his night. Unbeknownst to him, you had spent the majority of the night meticulously eyeing the group from the booth. But you nodded along, idling swirling your finger along the lip of your cup, letting his word vomit become a white noise in your brain. “Imogen has a scary way of demanding things.”
A smirk had crept onto your face, replacing the frown you wore. Ridoc was always honest, but it was amusing to hear him drunkenly bare his soul at the bar over the silliest details. It had almost been enough to forget the prying animosity that filled your veins.
“Who are you telling? I have known her my whole life.” You reminded him rather distractedly.
Despite talking to him, your attention was still flicking towards the quieter side of the tavern—still invested in the man you’ve been stubbornly hiding your feelings from poorly and the pretty girl that clung to him. The game of billiards was dying down, only her friend and Imogen still playing one another.
Bodhi sat backwards in a chair off to the side, his chest pressed against the back, arms casually draped across the wooden top rail, and head hung low as he sipped from the bottle of ale he had been nursing. Ariante perched in a chair beside him, leaning over into his ear to talk. Her lips mere centimeters from him had your heart thumping so hard that you could hear it in your ears.
“Yeah, but you’re not like her or them in fact.” He shrugged.
That made you turn back to Ridoc, who didn’t realize you were only half heartedly invested in the conversation. Or if he did, he didn’t make it known.
“Like they’re all scary broody motherfuckers, and you're just you. Intimidating sure, but not all broody and aggressive.”
You let out a dry chuckle, “language please, they are my friends.”
He raised his full hands defensively, ignoring the fact he sloshed water all over him. “Sorry. You know what I mean though.”
You leaned your head to the side, a quizzical expression on your features. “Elaborate Gamlyn.”
You might have been aware of what he meant, just for the sake of your entertainment you didn’t mind hearing the inebriated man’s ramble of what he thought. It was the only thing that was keeping the pent up emotions beneath the surface.
“Well, you’re kind of lady-like?” He tested the word then nodding. “Yeah, lady like. Not that they don’t have manners—they have better manners than me, but you’re like a refined woman.” His eyes got big and arms were flailing as he animatedly spoke, water sloshing on him.
“Would you be surprised if I said I had been a lady?” You interrupted his spiel.
“No shit, like tea and biscuits, go for a promenade around the garden kind of lady?” He slurred in disbelief with an attempt of an accent.
The way he had said it made it hard to stifle your laugh. “Dowry to my name and all.” You mocked using a posh accent as well.
He made a strangled noise, as he puffed his cheeks out to prevent laughing. “Shit that was the worst accent I’ve ever heard.”
You tilted your back, laughing loudly as he snorted, unable to contain himself. “Thanks for your honesty, yours was just as awful.” You tried to compose yourself.
“I’m not the one that comes from the Aretian aristocracy though.” He said through a fit of giggles. You scoffed, shoving him slightly, giggling more when you had to grab his arm to keep him from stumbling over.
Once the laughter died down, Ridoc had started to talk your ear off again, but of course your focus went elsewhere. Your breath caught in your throat, the amusement on your face slipping.
Bodhi was shamelessly staring at you when you looked over this time. His eyes dark, and stone faced watching the side you resided on. He tilted his head back, draining the remainder of his drink. You couldn’t help to watch the expanse of his throat as he drank the rest of his drink, watching how his Adam’s Apple bobbed as he did so.
You gulped quietly, suddenly imagining how it would be to nip at the column of his thick neck. If he would squirm under your touch or make any soft noises if you kissed up his jaw…you were just torturing yourself at this point.
He the. swung his leg over his seat, muttering something to the pretty redhead, not waiting for a response as he made his way towards you.
Shit.
You panicked drifting back to the drunk man in front of you.
���So did you have—like—a betrothed before this?” Ridoc asked, rubbing the back of his neck, still oblivious you hadn’t been listening. “Is that why we’ve never seen you hook up with someone?!” He gasped as if he solved the biggest mystery, connecting non existent dots.
You could throttle him, trying not to watch the towering figure approach you.
“No, no, no!” You covered your face in your hands, cheeks flushing. “It never got that far, well there were a few arrangements that never went through.”
“Damn, your parents were slacking.” He scoffed jokingly.
“Ridoc,” you glared at him. Any amusement or relief from Ridoc now gone, hitting a nerve within you. The thought of your late parents always causing an ache in your chest and a knot in your stomach.
“Yeah?”
“Shut up,” Bodhi finished for you, coming up right behind him. He jumped, obviously startled by the new presence, and that it was Bodhi nonetheless. But he quickly recovered, turning to the taller man.
“You always jump right in at the most convenient times, handsome boy?” He questioned in a teasing tone. Handsome boy?
Bodhi glowered, stepping closer to your squad mate. “Call me that again—”
“Bo!” A high pitched shrill voice cut him off. It resembled nails on a chalkboard causing you to wince. Ariante appeared from behind Bodhi, a bright bubbly smile as she stumbled around him, grabbing his arm for support. “You didn’t wait for me.” She pouted playfully.
You had to fight the noise of disgust that wanted to escape your lips, but your facial expression gladly showed what you couldn’t verbally. The rational side of you knew you shouldn’t be reacting this way to a girl you’ve never met. You were past the point of rational though.
She then acknowledged you, her eyes a bright teal that sparkled sticking out her manicured hand. “I’m Ariante.”
You subtly glanced at your hands that were unkempt, nails nearly to the nubs with hangnails.
Gods, she really was everything you weren’t even down to the fingers.
You politely stuck your hand out, limply clasping hers. You hoped she wouldn’t feel your calloused fingers or notice how unladylike your hands were compared to hers as you introduced yourself.
“You know Bo?” She mused. Her hold still on him, despite her being perfectly stable. And the way his nickname came out of her mouth, you think you could regurgitate everything you’ve consumed today.
You offered a strained smile. “We grew up together actually.”
“How sweet!” She practically squealed. “I think it’s great how close knit all of you are!”
The tone deaf statement snipped the final straw of your patience and self control. No, you couldn’t let the feelings lay idly underneath any longer.
“I would say we all are,” you nodded. “I guess that’s what happens when all your parents are murdered in front of you.” You said it as if it was the most casual thing to leave your lips. The smile she wore faltered, and you could see Ridoc shove his hands in his pockets, whistling.
“Y/n…” Bodhi warned.
It could be treason speaking so freely of this, you hadn’t cared at the moment.
“What?” You said innocently, brushing off the warning look you know so well. She had started to sputter an apology, but you cut her off. “But how does such a sweet thing like you know Bodhi?” You asked, a smile growing sinisterly.
In your peripheral vision, you see Bodhi’s face pale.
“We’re acquainted.” He quickly answered, getting out of her grip as he reached over and grabbed the water out of Ridoc hands that were nearly empty from him constantly spilling. He gulped the water like a fish needing water, clearly uncomfortable.
“Very acquainted.” She fluttered her lashes towards him, tone suggestive. Brushing off your awkward interaction.
You made a noise of understanding. Everything you thought was confirmed by two words. Your thoughts lingering and spiraling. The idea of Bodhi intertwined with someone else was nauseating…even infuriating. Everything had drowned out by your heartbeat in your ears, Ridocs words were now inaudible, but assuming he was making a joke. Ariante shrilled giggles didn’t even affect you.
Why were you so mad? You had no right, you’ve been so awful to him the last couple of years—there was never a chance for you. Every interaction you two have had was just rekindling your friendship the past week not meaning anything more. Every poke and prod from your group of friends was something they misinterpreted between the two of you. You knew you shouldn’t have thought too hard on their words and jests, but deep down you only felt crushed of the hope there could have been.
Crack. You looked down at your glass that had been in your hand, the glass in between your knuckles nearly crushed.
The group flitted to you and the cup, even some of the surrounding patrons looked towards you warily.
“Are you alright?” Bodhi was the first to speak up.
“Just absolutely peachy.” You murmured, sliding the object towards the other side of the bar.
“Wow, all you riders are so strong.” Ariante laughed nervously. If this could have been any worse, you weren’t sure if you wanted to punch something or cry now.
“Excuse me,” fighting the lump in your throat. Standing up quickly walking towards the nearest exit without a word.
You walked outside, not quite being able to comprehend what just happened in the matter of seconds. Clenching and unclenching your fists, your chest heaving as everything felt as if it was closing in, pacing on the cobblestone outside the tavern. The smell of incoming rain permeating the humid air that blanketed over the quaint town. Usually a smell that eased your mind, was an overbearing semblance to the internal storm inside you.
“Y/n!” Bodhi called out your name, walking out the door you walked out of moments prior. The bass in his voice stoked the fire that formed in the pit of your stomach, ready to burn you from the inside out. Turning on your heel you faced the 6’3 man, brows already furrowed in glaring daggers towards him, chest still heaving erratically unable to control your breaths.
“You need to breathe.” He didn’t let your behavior deter him. His tone smooth and even, several feet away, not meeting your gaze like if he did he would combust into flames from your glare.
You scoffed, “shouldn’t you be inside with Ariante?” Her name dripped off your tongue with venom.
He opened and closed his full lips, setting his hands on his hips; absolutely dumbfounded. “Y/n…” he said through staggered breath. “I came here with you tonight.” He took a few steps towards you cautiously. “I came up to talk to you at the bar, trying to leave her with her friend.” His focus seemed to be on the wall behind you, and not your own eyes as he still walked towards you. “I followed you out here, leaving her in there.” His words slow, as he stepped right in front of you. “Does it look like I give a fuck about her?” He didn’t let you answer.
“Has everything this past year made it look like I give fuck about anyone else, but you?”
Despite the tug in your heart you felt at his words, pulling you out of your blind rage and jealousy for a split second—it was frustrating how he refused to look you in the eyes.
“You were letting her hang all over you tonight, how can I believe that?!” You held your chest with one arm, the other outstretched to the door.
He gave an aggravated shout, lunging and grabbing your arms. You stiffened at his touch, his hands were just as hot as you felt. He seemed to notice as well, flinching at the realization, but his hold stayed secure on you. He leaned down, his breath warm against the shell of your ear.
“If you watched my every move, you would have noticed I wasn’t interested in her. I was only watching you the whole night.” That Gods forsaken deadly calm tone sent a shiver down your spine despite the heat you felt. “Now lift your arms up.” He ordered, the sentence barely above a whisper.
His usual honeyed brown eyes finally locked with yours, dangerously darkened. A silent gasp leaving your mouth agape, unable to pull away from his dark orbs submitting to his quiet demand, your arms rising up slowly.
His rough calloused skin brushing your arms ignited a solely different fire within you as he slid the sweater off your frame. “Fuck, you’re burning up.” He muttered, throwing the sweater on the cobblestone leaving you in the corseted tank top you had on underneath. Lightning flashed in the skyline, thunder following a moment later, and rain started to pour from the clouds moments later. The droplets are warm from the summertime, but still cooler than both your skin, creating a steam that ghosts around the both of you.
“So are you,” you said breathlessly. “Do you have any idea why?” You two were so close your chests brushed together, every time one of you breathed. You anticipated what he would say next, but Bodhi kept quiet, tugging on his lip, seeming to be fighting a battle with himself. He turned away from you, rubbing a hand over his face, looking up at the rain stricken sky.
“You do know don’t you?” You rasped.
“I just want to preface I wanted to tell you—”
‘Don’t. You. Dare. Tawny. One.’ Cleasaí dangerously seethed through your head.
It had been silent on the other side of the bond all night, you tugged the invisible string to her countless times, but no answer. Now she wanted her presence known? Known to someone that couldn’t hear her nonetheless.
‘She deserves to know what you’ve been hiding.’ Bodhi glowered. You were still watching him, and he hadn’t opened his mouth…and he heard your dragon?
A new deep sophisticated tone entered your mind, ‘Cleasaí the inevitable is going to happen—‘ Cuir?
‘That I’ll find out?’ You stood in that mental art studio you were taught to use as your source for grounding. The door wide open letting in the thoughts and voices that freely flew through your mental guards. That one invisible string that led to the door seemed to have an added two now.
“Shit,” Bodhi hissed.
“How long?” You gritted your teeth, focusing on the man in front of you. He stayed quiet. “How long did you know?” You repeated louder.
He looked at the ground, “since my threshing.”
You tensed, how come he knew, but you had been clueless this whole time?
‘It’s not ideal to have one rider running from the other while their supposed mated dragons aren’t even on speaking terms.’ Cuir explained.
You fought the tears that lined your eyes, ‘he gets to know, while I’m left in the dark?!’
‘That was for Cleasaí to tell you, my rider had no choice to listen to us dragonkind.’ Cuir explained with a steeliness.
‘And I told her I would tell her in due time.’ Cleasaí chuffed in the corners of your mind.
It felt crowded in your brain, two additional voices, on top of your grappling emotions. You inhaled deeply, blinking tears away furiously.
“Y/n,” Bodhi came towards you. “I wanted to tell you.”
“When was I going to be told?” You snapped. “When you graduate?!” A couple tears now silently slip down your cheeks.
You didn’t know where to point the frustration at. Cleasaí should have told you it was her responsibility, but if Bodhi wanted to talk to you so badly that would have been the topic to start with.
“Our luck would be they would stick you in Samara like Xaden!” You shouted.
“When was I supposed to tell you? When you were running the other direction?! Or would you have preferred a note during Battle Brief only for you to go into a volatile meltdown?” He argued.
You laughed harshly, “I would have not—”
“Oh yes you would have.” Bodhi rolled his eyes. “That’s why Xaden warned me not to.”
Your eyes widened, “Xaden knew?”
‘Why wouldn’t the Wingleader know?’ Cleasaí snorted humorlessly.
‘I don’t want to hear it from you.’ You growled shutting the mental shield up from her and hopefully Cuir. You didn’t know how this all worked.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “He’s known since before you even crossed the parapet.”
“Does anyone else know?” You crossed your arms.
“Assumedly Violet, but no one else.”
Your eyes narrowed, she seemed to know everything didn’t she?
You grew quiet, mulling over everything as the rain was the only sound that filled the streets. You felt betrayed, not only by the creature that put their faith into you and vice versa, but by the man you had grown to love. Was that why you had felt like your irritation was an out of body experience earlier?
“Why do you think I have a churam dependency?” Bodhi bit the corner of his thumb, looking at you.
“Can you get out of my mind?” You frowned, picking the soggy sweater up off the cobblestone. You sniffled, wiping your face, before proceeding to walk towards Basgiath, wanting to get out of the vicinity of him. To think you could have died without even knowing… what would have happened to the dragons—yet worse—him? You didn’t even want to ponder over the details that entailed that yet.
“Trust me I’m not trying, but your thoughts are so fucking loud.” He muttered, following you.
“Then can you not follow me?” You turned, walking backwards wiping wet hair out of your face. The sting in your eyes is almost blinding from fighting the glaze of tears.
“It’s not safe to walk by yourself this time at night.” He said as if it was obvious.
“I’ll be fine,” you tried to reassure as you slipped the dagger out of your top, you tucked between your breasts when getting ready.
“You’ve been drinking, Y/n. That’s not going to do shit.” He tried to catch up to you, but you were a step ahead, even walking backwards.
“I feel stone cold sober at this moment.” You half lied, quickly turning back around, putting the dagger back where you kept it. You didn’t want him to see how your lip trembled, and you were ready to break. That was the last thing you needed was to have a ‘volatile meltdown’ in front of him. Though that’s what this whole night felt like, a tantrum of a fever dream.
You two came to a fork in the path that led to Basgiath from Chantara. You may have forgotten which path you took earlier in the night. So you hoped as you veered left, you would be going the right way, anything to just get away.
But his hand caught your arm, pulling you around to face him.
“I just got you back, I’m not letting you just be barely out of my reach again.” He seethed, his grip firm, but gentle. His touch was still blistering against your own skin.
“I’m not doing it, Y/n. I’ve already spent years running for you when you just kept running backwards for whatever reason!”
The tears had silently begun to fall again down your cheeks, this time unable to stop. “Do you want the reason, Bodhi?” You could feel yourself start to shake as the words left your mouth. “Because I love you!” You finally admitted, the confession a hushed whisper.
You watched with tears flowing freely as he staggered back a couple steps at what you said. He remained quiet as you continued. “I was never meant to love someone freely. And everyone I loved left—”
Your declaration is cut off by his lips smashing to yours. A primal fiery heat as your lips connected, his hands cupping your jaw, your lips melted with his realizing he was kissing you. The taste of the saltiness from your tears mixed with the essence of alcohol on both your lips was dizzying.
This was everything you could have imagined and more since you were a young woman. Everything you wanted the past five years. You felt his thumbs brush underneath your chin as you relished the feeling as you continued to kiss him with a fervor you never experienced. Your hands sliding up his chest around the back of his neck, gripping on his wet dark curls you’ve always admired. A soft sigh left his lips, and it was a noise you could listen to forever, but of course your thoughts spiraled.
A much more important secret was withheld from you, not only by him, but Cleasaí. A petty love confession that you withheld as a way to protect yourself and what you thought would protect him, when the secret of bonded dragons affected four beings outweighed it all. Whether it was his choice or not.
You pulled away abruptly. “I-I can’t.” You said, feeling your own heart break.
“What do you mean you can’t?” He sputtered, confused.
“Me professing my love doesn’t change any of the circumstances.” You shook your head, letting go of him reluctantly. “If anything it only adds to the risk of this whole situation.”
You needed to think about everything thoroughly, and away from him. If not, you might not think straight. You had to go.
“Y/n,” Bodhi pleaded desperately. He watched you turn and make your way back to the war college. You ignored him, even when your bones itched to turn and run back into his arms. “Do my feelings mean nothing to you?!” He shouted, standing where you left him.
Your steps faltered, and that break you felt in your chest worsened. You turned, with a strained smile on your face through your tears.
“They do, more than you could ever realize.”
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Y/n is definitely Violet coded I’m sorry 😅 and the y/n lore will thicken in part 5 hehe
Thank you sm for the comments and support, it means a lot to have people that actually enjoy what I put out and try to have patience for my posting inconsistency!! I love talking with you all about it and hearing your conspiracies through out the whole series. I think there will be 2-3 more part before I finish and move on to my next ventures, but as always like, reblogs, and comments are appreciated 🫶🏻🫶🏻
185 notes · View notes
midnighttrainns · 1 month
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secrets always come out pt. 2, bodhi durran
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bodhi durran x marked fem!reader
warnings: nothing really that i can think of
summary: a month after breaking up with bodhi, they still haven't talked but eventually work everything out and reader forgives bodhi, becoming friends again.
word count: 701
a/n: ik this is short but i hope you enjoy <3
masterlist
part 1
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It’s been one month since I broke up with Bodhi. At first, he kept his distance, giving me time. Then, he gradually started to come back. I’d be lying if I said this past month wasn’t one of the worst months of my life.
I’ve forgiven Bodhi, but it doesn’t mean he has fully earned my trust back. It was awkward for everyone at first because we still had to be around each other. Especially now since I’m involved with the weapon runs and rebellion stuff.
I refuse to look at him whenever we are around, but I can feel him staring at me, willing me to look in his direction. His longing, sad expression I accidentally catch breaks me but I need time. Bodhi misses me and I miss him but I need my time to process everything.
“You need to talk, work out your problems. I can give you some advice,” Ridoc says from beside me during lunch and I snap my head towards him when I realise I have been staring at Bodhi. Since we broke up I have been hanging out with Violet and her friends more in a poor effort to avoid my problems.
“What are you talking about?” I sigh, knowing that whatever Ridoc says can’t be that helpful.
“You and Bodhi. Everyone can see it-” Rhiannon starts.
“Yeah, just make-out and makeup. Easy,” Ridoc interrupts.
“And has that worked for you before Ridoc?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
“Well not exactly,” he says and I raise my eyebrows as an ‘I told you so’ look.
I shake my head at my friends before standing up and walking out of the hall. We have no classes for the rest of the day so I decided to go for a ride with my dragon. I walk up to the flight field to meet my dragon but instead of seeing her, I see Bodhi casually standing there watching me walk closer towards him.
Where are you and why is he here? I ask my dragon. Your classmates are right, you need to sort your relationship out. He has been trying to talk to you but you insist on being stubborn. I give an annoyed look she can’t see and huff out a breath turning towards Bodhi seeing him walking closer to me.
“Hey,” He says quietly. It’s the first time we have spoken since we broke up.
“Look Bodhi,” I sigh trailing off not knowing the right words for what I want to say to him.
“I know. I know you don’t want anything to do with me but I want to make it up to you. I’m so sorry. I–all I can think about is you and–and how I would do it differently if I could go back in time. I would tell you, I would fight to keep you, I wouldn’t lose you. I don’t want to lose you y/n,” He says his voice raw with emotion.
I don’t know what to say. I don’t think there is anything I can say. If I’m being completely honest with myself I want him back. I was happiest when I was with him but the fact that he lied is all I can think about when I am near him. I don’t think it will work.
“Bodhi,” I walk up to him and wrap my arms tightly around his body. He returned the hug, burying his head in my neck. “I don’t want to lose you either but I don’t think–” The words die on my tongue and I break the hug taking a step back.
“I know, I know,” He runs a hand through his hair looking around before setting his eyes back on me, “And I don’t expect you to forgive me yet or even want me back but can you at least talk to me? And maybe be friends again?”
“Yeah and who knows, maybe I might forgive you,” I tell him a wide smile making its way onto my face as he laughs lightly at my words, making me happy because he is happy.
I’m glad we made up because I don’t know how much longer I could go without Bodhi.
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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 4 months
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Hello friend I was wondering if I could request a fourth wing x reader fic with xaden? Maybe where instead of Violet being tortured by varrish its reader? And maybe we see a bit from xadens pov?
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Hurts like hell
The pain was like no other. The concept of time had slipped away a long time ago. Your body was sore and stiff. Nor could you distinguish if it was the sound of your blood dripping on the floor or the condensation of the cellar walls. “This could be so much easier, wing leader”, Varrish's venomous voice fills your senses and suddenly you wish you hadn’t blinked. Hadn’t made him aware of your consciousness. “What do you know about the rebellion, girl?”, he takes fistfuls of your hair, yanking your head back. Your angry eyes glare up at him, “Eat. My. Shit”, you hiss through gritted teeth as the back of his hand slams into your cheek. The rings he’s wearing crack the scabbed-up cuts all over again.
And it’s as if he feels it. Every blow. Every cut. Every scream. Xaden had lost the amount of time he had vomited since they had taken you. Or more since you had saved Bodhi’s and Garrick's asses and was taken instead of them. Had he beaten both of them up for it? Yes. And he planned on repeating it once you were back in his arms.
“There’s nowhere else they could be keeping her”, Imogen says, tapping her finger on the map. Everyone had been looking for you for three days now. “Unless he’s usually magic he shouldn’t”, Bodhi adds, making Xaden let out a growl. It was driving him mad knowing that you were taking a beating for his slip-up. They weren’t being careful enough. They weren’t thinking about the consequences when they smuggled such a big load of weapons out. “Tonight. There’s an upper-hand meeting at seven that leech of a man should be there”, he grunts, his shadows drowning his hands in the darkness. “Imogen you will make sure he stays there for as long as possible”, and for the first time, she only nods, because she too can feel that Xaden is on his last straw. “You two will come with me. Fuck knows what they have going on down there”, running a hand through his hair, Xaden watches as both Bodhi and Garrick nod. Hold on, he pleads, just for a bit longer. Because he would kill them all. Burn this whole academy down if you were… and that’s enough to make him go ridge once more. He couldn’t let himself think about it.
His heart is beating so fast and so loudly that he doesn’t even hear his footsteps as they navigate the dark corridors of the dungeons. Checking every nook and cranny. Every room. Every floorboard. Until the metal gates leading to the back cellar catch Xaden’s eyes, and the way his shadows rush to it in a frenzy. His legs step forward before he even realizes it. Breathe hitching in his throat.
“Y/n”, he mutters rushing forward. His hands are shaking so much that he can barely push the hair away from your face, let alone look for the pulse. Face. Barely recognizable face. So cut up and bruised. Drowned in angry purples and blacks. “There’s a pulse”, Xaden’s head snapped to the side, he didn’t even realize that Garrick had followed him in here. “Faint but there”, he clasped Xaden’s shoulder, “But we need to get her out of here”.
And he tries, tries so hard to get the ropes of your wrists but it’s as if his own body is going into an overdrive. “Bodhi, get Xaden out of here”, Garrick orders, freeing your legs, reaching to press his fingers to your neck once more. “No”, Xaden argues, pulling at your hand, “Baby, you need to open your eyes”, he mutters looking at you, “Tell me that you hear me”. But there’s nothing. Just your limp body. Drowning in blood and filth. A firm palm presses against the back of his neck and his head is turned away from you.
“We are getting her out. Do you understand?”, Garrick’s firm words slip past the haze. “You will go with Bodhi because you can’t help out anymore and I will carry her and keep her safe”, and it’s no longer a question. It’s a statement. An order. One that Xaden follows. With Bodhi reassuring with the whole way. Catching one last look at you. Of Garrick carefully scooping you up as he mumbles, “Come on, girly, we need you here. Don’t you give up yet”.
Xaden doesn’t move from your side after Brennon meds your wounds. The Rioroso house was the only place they could think of that was safe for you. But even here his mind doesn’t ease up. It’s been a week and you haven’t shown any signs of waking up. So just like any other night when he came to visit you, he’s carefully running the healing balm into the cuts on your face and arms. Needing to know that he’s doing something. Helping in some way.
And it’s the pain sigh that leaves your lips when his fingers brush over the cut on your temple that has his stalling. “Baby”, he breathes, gaze now fully fixed on your face. His lips brush over your knuckles, “Please, open your eyes. I need to…”, and it’s as if his words coxed you out of your slumber as you blink rapidly. Scared eyes scanned the place.
Xaden leans closer, carefully bringing his fingers through your hair. Trying to soothe you with the feeling of him. “Xaden”, his name on your lips is enough to finally make him crack. He lowers his head onto your shoulder as ugly sobs echo through the room. He knows that he should be strong. To be calmer and colder but he was convinced that he was never gonna hear the sound of your voice ever again. “I’m here, my little fighter”, he sniffles, looking back up at you, “l will never let you hurt like that ever again”.
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angstywaifu · 4 months
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He's Watching You Again - Bodhi Durran x Reader
Request: You’ve been catching Bodhi staring at you for weeks. Each time he quickly looks away and is too shy to actually speak to you. Until one day when you’re trying to carry too many books or weapons or something and you drop them all. Bodhi rushes over to help you pick them up and offered to help carry them which causes you to strike up a conversation, and suddenly shy little baby Bodhi becomes YOUR little baby Bodhi A/N: I am such a sucker for some cute Bodhi fluff. I hope you guys enjoy. Requests are open if you guys want to send anything in! Masterlist
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It had started a few weeks ago. At least I had started noticing it a few weeks ago. Every now and then I would catch his eye before he quickly looked away, his cheeks flushed. I couldn’t help but admit it was cute, even peaked my curiosity about him. But every time I approached him or got close to him, he would bolt in the opposite direction like I was the plague. Often earning confused and worried glances from his friends at his sudden disappearance.
”He’s watching you again.” Imogen teases as we grab our packs and head out of battle brief.
I roll my eyes at her and shove her shoulder as I push past her, leading our way over to the Scribes Quadrant where we had been instructed to pick up some books for training later with some of the first year cadets by Xaden.
”Don’t know what you’re talking about.” I mutter as she catches up to me.
”Oh come on Y/N, we’ve all seen him starting at you. Or my personal favourite, when he runs away from you like you’re the plague. Never seen that boy run so fast in my life.” She muses as we push through the crowd trying to get to lunch.
”You’re looking too much into it.” I try to tell her confidently as we finally break through the crowd of cadets.
She cocks an eyebrow at me as she bites into an apple she must have snuck into her pack at breakfast. A smug look on her face.
”Something tells me his stares have caught your attention.” She teases, her turn to shove into my shoulder.
There was no hiding it from Imogen. We’d practically been attached to each other since day one here in the quadrant. We had never known each other prior to the rebellion or starting here, but we we’re one of the few marked ones in our year and in the same squad. So it was only natural we had gravitated towards each other. But despite that, it had not granted me friendship with Bodhi who she knew quite well.
”Look, I won’t deny it’s caught my attention.” I tell her as we stop in front of the doors to the archives, waiting for a scribe to come and help us. “But thats it. He wants nothing to do with me Imogen.”
”Are you sure about that?” She asks.
”He runs away anytime I am near him or go near him. Trust me, he either wants nothing to do with me or he’s scared of me or something.” I state as I hand the list of books to the scribe that has approached us.
Imogen’s laugh echoes off the walls, a few scribes in the archives glaring at the sudden outburst. “Girl he hangs out with Xaden and Garrick. Trust me, he ain’t scared of you.”
”Then he wants nothing to do with me. Simple as that.” I tell her bluntly.
”You keep telling yourself that.” She muses as the scribe returns with trolley laden with way more books than I was expecting.
We aren’t allowed to take the trolley, but the scribe is at least nice enough to help us stack the books into our arms before sending us on our way with strict instructions to have them back within the week. The walk back to the riders quadrant is slower than our trip over as we can barely see around the stack of books in our arms. Imogen and I tactfully using each other to help navigate our way back. Which so far had been a success. Right up until my boot catches on a small lip in the stone floor in the courtyard, books flying everywhere as my hands dart out to catch my self. I barely register the sound of rushed footsteps approaching till someone is kneeling in front of me.
”Are you ok?” The slightly unfamiliar voice asks.
I look up to see Bodhi kneeling in front of me, hands stretching out to see if I’m ok. As our eyes meet, his eyes go wide as if realising who he has rushed over to help. I can’t help but get lost in his dark brown eyes. They’re almost dark enough to pass as black, but up close I can see the dark chocolate hue to them.
”Yeah I’m ok. Just couldn’t see where I was going is all.” I tell him softly with a smile, hoping it might ease his nerves and not have him running away from me.
Bodhi breathes a sigh of relief and nods before looking at the books strewn across the ground. They we’re everywhere. I turn to find Imogen, but all I find is her retreating back as she leaves Bodhi and I alone in the empty courtyard. Bitch.
”I can help you carry them if you like. But it’s ok if you don’t want me to. And I’m not saying you can’t carry them, you’re definitely more than capable of carrying them yourself. Definitely don’t need my help. But I can if you want and-” Bodhi rambles before I reach out and place a hand on his arm, his body going rigid as he looks up at me in shock.
”Bodhi.”
”Y-yeah?”
I stand up and offer him my hand, pulling him up as he takes it. Gods he was tall. My neck craning to keep eye contact with him as he stands to his full height.
”I’d love for you to help me.” I say with a smile.
Bodhi smiles so wide it takes up most of his face before he rushes to pick up the scattered books, dropping a few in the process. He rushes back over to me with a far smaller pile than I had before. Clearly wanting to make sure I had a clear view of my path after my incident a few moments prior.
”Can’t have you falling in front of me again can we?” He jokes as he starts walking off in the direction Imogen had gone in with a pile of books placed firmly in his arms.
But little did Bodhi know, I was. I was falling. But instead of falling towards the floor at an alarming rate, I was falling head over heels for the shy and bumbling boy in front of me.
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