#both bc of false rumors about the old guy but also bc he's just. really too wounded to connect with other people in any meaningful capacity

[pippuns]

the only thing that could have improved SVSSS is if shen jiu was in the background providing scathing hateful commentary the entire time. i want to see him and shen yuan eat each other alive <3

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[enby-enderdragon]

Dude please tell me abt ur mc worldbuilding

Mx Elliott Whycraft, my beloved, I would give you the biggest hug right now if I could

Okie, okie, so its mostly just a pantheon of gods that I’ve made, but I do also have some ideas for, like, holidays and things that would happen on those holidays and things that certain followers of certain deities would do, but I digress. I’ll just tell you about the deities I chose mostly since I don’t wanna be too rambly. I can save the other details for other asks if people really wanna know about that. This is gonna go under a cut bc this might end up being a long post. Like I said, unfortunately for you guys, I’m very autistic and religion worldbuilding is a special interest of mine.

Uhhhhh, warning, possibly some bits that could be considered Slimecicle Cinematic Universe spoilers if you haven’t seen “The HARDEST Minecraft Difficulty” yet??

So, the first deity I chose, of course, is DreamXD, shortened down to XD. He’s the big king of the gods and he has the epithet of “the Prime” since he’s one of the bigger and more worshipped deities in the pantheon. Things like Church Prime in the DreamSMP and Techno’s channel member bell fall under his domain. XD is specifically the god of order and life so, as mortals began to worship the pantheon, it felt natural for XD to rise to the position of God King. XD is also the protector of the Dragon’s Realm. It’s his job to make sure that, if the Enderdragon ever has to die, that she is only killed A) she absolutely has to be because he’s very attached to his Dragons and B) he always makes the the Dragon has a successor.

The second deity I chose was Drista. No one is really sure how old Drista is, not even the other gods, because she’s the goddess of chaos, so she’s XD’s counterpart and has to have been around since the first chaotic thing happened in the mortal plane, but she appears very young compared to the other gods and she’s referred to in the mortal scriptures with the epithet of “the Young”. Drista falls under with the duty of being the protector of childhood and children in general, which only adds to her epithet. Aside from all that, she’s also the guide for souls of the dead into the Afterlife.

The third deity I chose was Grizzly. Now, a lot of mortal scripture about Grizzly was lost because his stories used to be burned when people would try to write them. A lot of people passed his stories around orally, but still, a lot of the scriptures were lost and mortals can’t truly now a lot about what happened with him. The biggest things that survived history of his stories is that he is the god of the forge and of mischief, but one day, he had a falling out with the other gods and they cast him out of the Pantheon Proper, which earned him the epithet of “the Fallen”. Nowadays, stories say that Grizzly is the King of the Damned, but no mortals know for sure exactly what that means.

The fourth deity is Condi. Condi is one of the oldest gods in the pantheon, even older than XD by millennium. Condi is the god of magick, so he was the deity that separated the Three Realms from each other. There’s rumors of a secret fourth realm that Condi uses as an escape from the other gods, but again, those are just rumors. No one has ever been able to craft a proper portal to this secret realm, but still, the realm of the Aether is mentioned too many times in scriptures for it to be a coincidence, right? Anyway, Condi also the Weaver of Fate, so, as you can imagine, he’s a very busy god. He has the epithet of “the Wise” because, if you’re gonna have this much shit going on as a god, you’ve gotta be wise.

The fifth deity is Bizly. Bizly, even by the other gods, is considered weak and useless, as he’s the god of animals and monsters. Most of the other gods will ignore him and couple of the other gods can be outright mean to him for no reason. This earned him the epithet of “the Dismissed”. Because of the way that the other gods treat him, Bizly took it upon himself to be the protector of the weak and underdogs. To mortals, he also become equivalent with the start of spring, so a lot of mortal stories call him the “bringer of new starts”.

The sixth deity is Foolish, of fucking course. He’s the god of storms and the seas and, even though his domains are usually very rough things to mortals, he himself is a very chill god (these days) and he doesn’t really interact with the other gods unless he ABSOLUTELY has to. He tends to spend most of his time as the protector of Mizu, a legendary city that is said to live under the deepest parts of the mortal oceans that houses only the most holy artifacts and important scriptures of the gods. There’s a specific rune that was created that is said to be a sigil of Foolish and it’s supposed to bring great wealth to a person if they draw it on themself. Foolish has the epithet of “the Undying” because I’m uncreative cgvhjbkgv

The seventh deity is Kristin, the goddess of death, because I have to. Again, she’s a goddess that doesn’t really like interacting with the other deities if she doesn’t have to. She tends to spend most of her time tending to the souls of the Afterlife, making sure everyone is happy and cared for and with their loved ones if they can be. The only deity that she has constant contact with is Drista, since the younger goddess helps her collect the souls of the dead. Kristin is known to take pity on a few souls that have no one every now and then and she’ll make them into angels and let them roam the mortal worlds again until they die and then they’re dead for real with no take-backs.

The eighth deity is Irene. She’s a very flighty goddess, not known to stick around in one place for long. As the protector of the Mortal Realm, she does her best to make sure that every mortal has a happy and healthy life on the earth. She’s typically the goddess of medicine and family in most portrayals of her scriptures, but there are a few places that will cast her as a more “dark” (using that word lightly because I can’t think of a better one) goddess of apathy and discord. Those mythos as that “darker” goddess are very rare, however. She has the epithet of “the Matron” and she’s the only recorded goddess to be referred to with the title of “Lady”. The other goddesses don’t seem to like that title.

The ninth deity is Herobrine. He’s the god of both the sun and the moon, so a lot of mortal legends say that the sun and moon are his glowing eyes and he’s watching over the mortals and he’ll punish any greedy or malevolent mortals. Because of that line of mythos, Herobrine earned the epithet of “the Watcher”. He’s known for collecting wayward souls that are stuck between Grizzly’s Damned Kingdom and Kristin’s Afterlife and he’ll make a wayward soul into an assistant of sorts to help him watch over the realm and punish mortals. Sometimes, his Watchers can get a little overzealous and will take in souls that aren’t ready yet, but Herobrine never forces a soul to stay if they don’t want to and lets them go back to the mortal realm.

The tenth and final deity is False. Yes, Miss False “Supremacy” Symmetry herself is a goddess. Specifically, she’s the goddess of war and blood. She, again, is a goddess that doesn’t much like the other gods and stays away from them as much as she can. In scripture, she’s never referred to by name because legends say that, if you speak her proper name, she’ll appear and kill your entire land or family or whatever. Most texts and stories refer to her either as “the Blood God” or by her epithet of “Animus”. She’s considered the herald of the winter months and she’s also the protector of the Nether Realm.

[bigmeatymudcrabchitins]

A not-so-brief overview of my Skyrim Dova OCs bc i need to scream to the digital void about my ideas

Freyora Lind, more commonly known by her strange alias “Bjorne Icepick”

A Nord-eventually-turned-werewolf who orphaned during the Great War and taken in by a Dunmeri mercenary whose residence was in Windhelm’s Gray Quarter. Grew up in a cramped boarding house setting among desperate mercenaries of varying backgrounds. Many of them would all come and go, but there was always some sort of a familial bond between them all.

From a young age she got in a lot of fights against people who insulted her for living in the Gray Quarter among the dark elves. Eventually she took a fight too far and was jailed for murder around 14, but was broken out shortly after by a band of masked vampires. Turns out some of her mercenary comrades unwittingly caught vampirism during a contract to clear out a vampire den and had to skip town, but not before ensuring one of their own wasn’t left to rot.

Lived in Cyrodil for about 15 years, but returned to Skyrim pursuing rumors surrounding a cure to vampirism, as her adoptive father would be nearing the end of his elven lifespan and had wished to die a normal death.

Seeing as she was literally a fugitive, and her long-belated parents were somewhat renowned for their battlefield prowess, she took on a false identity. AND an act to match it.

She’ll eat raw meat, chase prey with swords instead of using a bow like a normal person, harp about irrational conspiracy theories, and more. Everyone’s foul reactions to her outlandish act are plainly hilarious to her and only encourage her to act even stranger.

The alias “Bjorne Icepick” was simply the most ridiculous name she could think of.

Not the most morally outstanding. Besides drunken brawling, she’ll steal from anyone who angers her, even if it’s things she literally won’t ever need such as all the goblets in a household. It’s the pettiness that counts. “Try drinking your damn high-end wine now, jackass.”

Calls Dwarven Automatons “Gundams.” Including she herself, no one knows what that means.

Joins the Companions out of homesickness and a desire to fill in a gap that leaving home left.

Hasn’t bothered curing herself of lycanthropy because her whole schtick is being incredibly resourceful, and that includes using any means of power necessary. Still doesn’t fancy Hircine’s Hunting Grounds as her desired afterlife, though.

As her journey goes on, however, her lightheartedly eccentric face starts to fall off as a number of events push her to begin to question the legitimacy of her actions up until that point.

Some of which include the eventual death of her adoptive father (and how she was indirectly responsible for it even if it was what he wanted), Delphine’s ultimatum, the civil war as a collective, learning the tragic history behind the Falmer and the original Companions’ role in it, and killing of Vyrthur (no matter how much he genuinely deserved it).

She grows disgusted by herself down to the core. She takes to skooma to cope, and starts to be plagued by serious skooma-induced side effects. She ends up shutting herself away from all her responsibilities and distancing herself from her friends.

Does she get better? Maybe. I haven’t thought up anything past this point lol

Moureneris Alta

A very, VERY ancient vampiric snow elf, (though it’s notable she was born a considerable amount of time after the razing of Sarthaal)

Survived many atrocities. Stayed in isolation with a band of vampires for countless years out of sheer disgust for the nature of the sapient races. (I’ll explain her full story some other time. It’s pretty complicated)

She was abducted from her isolated lifestyle by a certain person i’ll talk about later. She managed to free herself south of Skyrim, and uh, walks right into that Imperial ambush. The rest is history.

Super ignorant to modern society as a result of centuries of isolation. Exploited for comedic relief. (“What in the name of Oblivion is a Cyrodilic Empire? Are you messing with me? And please, how does levitation magic simply get outlawed by this hypothetical Empire? What are you to do when you fall down a crevice? Just... let yourself perish? How degrading.)

She reintegrated herself into society with vengeance in mind under the belief that all humans are savage bloodlusting murderers who had to answer for their treachery. (And she was royally angry there was no Dwemer left to spite, but partially satisfied at the same time). But she grows conflicted after being shown genuine kindness, even as early as being freed from her binds in Helgen.

Subsequently has a very muddled redemption arc. Queue Dragonborn hero stuff

She has impaired vision, but she cultivated detect life magic to aid her in daily life and combat (think Hyakkimaru from Dororo ‘19 and his soul detection or Toph Beifong from ATLA and her seismic sense). At her peak, she can detect life from about a kilometer away.

She can just barely read, but only if she holds the text incredibly close to her face, not to mention her Cyrodilic lessons were left unfinished after her abduction, making reading a very taxing process. Weary travelers are often spooked at the sight of a floating, ghastly looking elven woman with her nose pressed up against crossroad signs, and it has become somewhat of an urban legend.

Isn’t as nearly as skilled with detecting the dead and tenses up in burial crypts or around other vampires for that reason. Unfortunately, being the Dragonborn and all, she finds herself in a lot of crypts...

When questioned about her background due to her unique appearance: “Oh, yeah. My mother was one of those mer from the east. You know the ones. Dark elves, I think? And my father was one of those er, tall elv- no, sorry, HIGH elves. Yeah. They both died in a big fire or something though. It was horrible. I can’t get the noxious smell or the deafening screams out of my head. Good talk, but never ask me about that again.”

Queue sheltered old immortal antics: “Wow, you’re THAT old? Enlighten me on how it felt witnessing the fall of the Dwemer. Or perhaps the rise of Tiber Septim’s Empire. The Gates of Ob-“ “Oblivion if I know. I lived in someone’s basement for thousands of years. And I still don’t know what everyone means by Empire. You all are messing with me, aren’t you? That really annoys me.”

She ultimately returns to faith in Auri-El and makes it her life’s purpose to help the Betrayed find peace, as well as to seek out any remaining snow elf groups. Probably good friends with Gelebor or something.

Had a crush on Serana. We all know how THAT went. Damned temples.

Was originally gonna spiral into a much darker corruption arc (another ATLA comparison being Jet or Hama) but I just felt bad for her. Moureneris can have a little found peace. As a treat.

That’s her preliminary design made. I’ll need a mod to properly play her, because that right there was made by choosing Dunmer as her race. But I can’t do that. I’m on console, and while I got the Steam port a month ago, my PC’s stone age specs can’t handle Skyrim yet and I’ll need to wait until I can afford a better graphics card (thanks economic inflation)

Alexandre Armasi, jokingly nicknamed Alexandre the Curious

A complete and unapologetic export of my character from a dead and unfinished DND campaign. Except there are no Aasimar in Skyrim, so he’s half Altmer half Bosmer. And his initial last name was Armas but I thought Armasi suited his Skyrim counterpart more, as subtle a change it is.

He’s mainly Bosmer in appearance and constitution, save for his hair and eyes, which are more similar to that of his Altmeri father’s.

I can’t really export his original backstory though because the campaign wouldn’t translate well into TES lore at all.

He’s a writer who came wandering into Skyrim in search of inspiration. While he mainly writes dramatic fables, he wanted to divert his focus to crafting his own bestiary and herbal compendium surrounding Skyrim’s fauna and flora. The ones at home are simply too vague to him!

He’s very altruistic, wishing to spread cheer wherever he goes, through the art of song (even though he was a cleric in DND and not a bard. My bad.) However, many of his verses are just blatant self promotions of his published fables.

But he’s too naive for his own good. Dangerously so. In fact, he says what’s on his mind with little forethought, with little grasp on the consequences of his actions, which lands him in lots of trouble. “I don’t favor him myself, but you guys kill people over Talos worship? That’s not very cool. A bit scary, if you ask me.” or “A Stormcloak rebel? Didn’t your leader kill a bunch of Reachmen rebels years back, or so I’ve heard. By the divines that’s not a man I’d make a symbol of nonconformity.”

He’s also insatiably curious. The type to ACTUALLY shove alchemic ingredients in his mouth with no knowledge of their properties, experiment with dangerous rune spells, throw rocks at pressure plates, and more. Needless to say he’s very accident prone.

Doesn’t know common curse words. People exploit this for laughs. Think that episode of Spongebob.

Everyone is a little baffled that HE of all people is the prophesied Dragonborn of legend. This agonizingly imbecilic writer who has absentmindedly wandered into burial crypts, troll dens, bandit forts, and more, too busy juggling his manuscripts to pay attention to his surroundings.

His past doesn’t exactly reflect his outlook on life. His mother and father fought in the Great War aligned with the Imperials despite their elven background. Both managed to live to see the war’s conclusion, but his father vanished without a trace shortly after, and it seems his mother knows something she won’t tell him.

With plenty of exposure to bad influences, his innocence is slowly lost throughout the course of his journey, and his altruism begins to grow twisted. But nevertheless, he maintains his jovial, social persona, except this time with much darker undertones. Kinda like a creepy dentist or something.

Whoops. He winds up becoming a feared Dark Brotherhood assassin. (Haha get it “Innocence Lost”???) He somehow deluded himself into thinking that the life of an assassin was the right thing to do. But he’s a funky little guy so he gets a pass for his heinous crimes against society

[mundanemelusina]

Get to Know Me 1. What is you middle name? Matthew 2. How old are you? 21 3. When is your birthday? Oct 12 4. What is your zodiac sign? Libra sun, Gemini moon, Taurus rising, Scorpio Venus and idk the rest 5. What is your favorite color? Yellow! It's always varied but I love a soft warm yellow. Like the color the sun paints the world at sunset. Like crayolas dandelion crayon. WHICH BY THE WAY CRAYOLA IS FUCKIN RETIRING. THEY ARE GETTING RID OF MY FAVORITE COLOR. 6. What’s your lucky number? 3 7. Do you have any pets? My moms house has a lot but I don't live there any more? Are they really my pets? Idk man. 8. Where are you from? Greensboro nc 9. How tall are you? 5'10" 10. What shoe size are you? 10 in both men's and women's. Idk how it works I don't make the rules I just work here. 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? In the 20s probably. Maybe more. How many pairs do I wear on the everyday tho? Like two maybe. I'm terrible. 12. What was your last dream about? Honestly last one I remember I woke up with the distinct memory of eating out a trans guy. 13. What talents do you have? Knowing exactly where peoples belly buttons are, whistling like various birds, quoting movies, remembering useless info, coming up with ideas of things I'll never do, sleeping too much, not having motivation, puns and/or bad humor, being able to identify almost any color by its crayola name. 14. Are you psychic in any way? You're asking a witch. That's a loaded fucking question. 15. Favorite song? Nah. I got loads of playlists tho. 16. Favorite movie? BOI. Ok. Listen. Stardust The high school musicals Harry potters, also third specifically Moulin rouge Hocus pocus Thirteenth year Legally blonde Easy a Anna karennina Lion king Hercules Little mermaid Hunchback of notre dam Spy kids trilogy First three shreks but specially no2 How to train your dragon(1/2) Rise of the guardians Series of unfortunate events movie Sucker punch Weekend (2011) The new beauty and the beast movie Lord of the rings Indiana jones 17. Who would be your ideal partner? This is a strange question. Not what would they be like. But WHO ARE THEY. NAME NAMES. GO. honestly idk. If I knew who it was I'd be trying to sit on their lap right now. 18. Do you want children? Error 404 answer unknown. I could be good with kids. I love kids. But do I want to raise them? Idk. And I don't want to raise any unless I know for sure that I do. 19. Do you want a church wedding? What does this mean? I would never marry a church. 20. Are you religious? All religions are simultaneously true and false. Schroedingers religion 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes. Terrible asthma. Last big attack was on my thirteenth birthday. I had my first indoor swim meet at my high school and it was a small steamy space with hundreds of people so the air got supper thick and I had the worst attack ever. 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope not do I plan to 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? I've met Julie Taymor! Famous director who directed the lion king on broadway and across the universe! 24. Baths or showers? Showers for physical cleaning, baths for spiritual 25. What color socks are you wearing? I don't wear socks I fucking hate them the stifle my creativity bc I can't think with them on. 26. Have you ever been famous? One of my selfie photo sets has 19,000+ notes does that count? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Eh. I could handle it but that doesn't mean I want to 28. What type of music do you like? Musical, pop, indie/folk/americana, idk just whatever 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. I get self conscious 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 normal full pillows, a star shaped pillow, a moon shape, and a sun. 31. What position do you usually sleep in? Side curl? 32. How big is your house? 2 bed one bath apartment that has a living room and a kitchen. That's it. The whole place. Very small. 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Harris teeter brand clusters and oats cereal with honey or bagel with cream cheese 34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yeah my dad taught me on his family's farm and my grandfather on my mothers side taught me some too. He loves hunting. 35. Have you ever tried archery? Ye with said grandfather. I didn't like it at the time but I love the idea of it now and want to again. I was pretty ok at it. Besides my terrible eyesight. 36. Favorite clean word? What the fuck is a clean word. 37. Favorite swear word? Fuck it's so vers 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? I pull all nighters all the time but never really more than 36 hours without a nap. 39. Do you have any scars? I'm sure I might somewhere but I can't really think of any 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? I wish. Usually I am the one admiring secretly. 41. Are you a good liar? I'm a thespian. It's my literal job. 42. Are you a good judge of character? Loaded question? How the fuck would I know this? Who are you? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH JIMMY 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? AGAIN. my literal job. 44. Do you have a strong accent? No. I actually have always been told o don't have one. Moms from New Jersey but grew up in the south. She doesn't have a thick one. 45. What is your favorite accent? ????? So many. Any U.K. Miami Cuban? It's specific but. Idk it's less about accents but I just love studying the way people talk. How they form vowels or little sayings they have. 46. What is your personality type? Enfp? 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I have no idea. I don't like to buy pricey clothing. I'm a goodwill hoe 48. Can you curl your tongue? Long ways sideways twist and clover! 49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie 50. Left or right handed? FUN STORY I was originally lefty but then my first grade teacher thought I was gonna be a gay witch so she made me switch. But lefty staid for everything besides writing. So batting golf all that. Writing texting jacking bowling is righty. So. Mostly right. 51. Are you scared of spiders? 4/10 52. Favorite food? *softly* don't 53. Favorite foreign food? I love food 54. Are you a clean or messy person? Messy af 55. Most used phrased? Changes weekly 56. Most used word? Changes daily 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? An hour with a shower? 30 without? 58. Do you have much of an ego? Huge 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suuuuck 60. Do you talk to yourself? Constantly 61. Do you sing to yourself? ALL DAY EVERY DAY. 62. Are you a good singer? I AM passable but I'm not gonna win a Tony 63. Biggest Fear? Myself 64. Are you a gossip? Did you hear about Samantha and Jim? 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Check above 66. Do you like long or short hair? On myself? Idfk. On men? Short 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Nope! Nor do I care. Fuck this place! (I can get most) 68. Favorite school subject? Transfiguration. Wait real school? Ok art, theatre, literature, science, marine biology was fun 69. Extrovert or Introvert? I need a balance of the two. Intro if I had to pick 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nah. Been snorkeling tho 71. What makes you nervous? Intrusive thoughts. Heights. Knives. Snakes and spiders. Fire. Mostly nervous I'll do something stupid and throw myself or my phone over the edge or into the flames. 72. Are you scared of the dark? Well I wasn't till you FUCKING MENTIONED IT. ASAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Most of the time 74. Are you ticklish? Yes but tickle and I'll rip off your pickle 75. Have you ever started a rumor? Started? No. continued? Religiously. 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Often. I enjoy it. 77. Have you ever drank underage? Whaaaaaat????? Me????? No never. 78. Have you ever done drugs? Gasp 79. Who was your first real crush? Literally. Ok. Listen. Buddy. So many. Idk who was first. All were dumb. 80. How many piercings do you have? Just ears 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ Ye 82. How fast can you type? Snail^2 83. How fast can you run? Turtle^2 84. What color is your hair? Naturally dark brown. 85. What color is your eyes? Dark green and orange. 86. What are you allergic to? Medicines some type of cat/dog/fur 87. Do you keep a journal? A book of shadows but not a journal 88. What do your parents do? Dads a muggle. Mams a witch. Bitofanastyshockwhenhefoundout Honestly I'm tired and don't wanna explain 89. Do you like your age? Age as in era of history??? Years in which I have personally traveled around the sun? 90. What makes you angry? Unfairness. My jealousy. Disrespect 91. Do you like your own name? Yeah I love it 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Nah 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Wtf is this gendered bs 94. What are you strengths? It's too late to have this crisis 95. What are your weaknesses? Seriously I'm tired 96. How did you get your name? I always forget 97. Were your ancestors royalty? Dads side had something 98. Do you have any scars? I already did this 99. Color of your bedspread? Gray 100. Color of your room? Between crayola jade and olive

[qzwrites]

so it occurs to me that i’ve done a lot of character building for the wilkins and stables who aren’t zach and tristan and posted like, none of it, so:

The Wilkins Girls

Tricia, mom

(all the drawings i’ve done of her are old as hell and never got scanned, sorry)

probably actually the one i’ve developed the least. to be fair to me, the whole point of most znt stories is that she is working all the time and so they have to take care of the kids. whatever plans and dreams she had basically got tanked when her husband got himself killed and left her with three kids and a baby on the way. she did manage to pay off the mortgage (and the car, which was used and therefore less impressive) with the insurance money, which was some burden off her back. not enough for zach to not start working literally as soon as he could to help her. she worked two jobs pretty much from her husband’s death to zach graduating and working full time. in main continuity she never remarries, but she might if it would offer more stability for the kids. (for instance in the prince’s plaything, her expy married a merchant who proposed to her basically because he offered to send her girls to school, which wasn’t available where they were living)

Sonja, oldest sister

She’s Fashion and popular. She does okay in school. She’s very good at getting people to do what she wants. Isn’t as into sports or athleticism as Zach or Nina but would absolutely have died to be able to afford dance lessons. She probably never mentioned this to her mom or Zach until she was in high school, because she didn’t want them to stress about the money. She is a pro at thrift shopping and redecorating on a budget, and probably more or less took over both the interior decorating and the wardrobe maintenance so they didn’t “look poor” when she was like, ten. Kind of doing an aimless middle child thing; goes to and later drops out of community college bc she doesn’t really want to study anything. Classic Bi Girl “didn’t realize other girls didn’t feel that way about girls” story but with zero angst about it. (She also blames her bad example brother bc he didn’t realize he was bi and definitely led her to False Expectations of how straight people relate to members of their own gender). Thinks she’s not into commitment but really just not into monogamy; it will take her so long to realize this.

Nina, middlest sister (i mean technically she and sonja are both middle children, but she’s the middle of the girls)

Sporty and athletic and a little tomboyish, but that does not mean she doesn’t like to occasionally Glam the Fuck Up. One of the better athletes at her school and high-key bitter when the boys’ sports teams get more attention even though they’re not as good. If she cared at all about football, is exactly the kind of person who would fight and rail about title ix to be allowed on the football team and/or coach a bunch of other girls to put together a girls’ football team. Her main sport is basketball. This is also where she meets the first and thus far only boy she dates. They do the classic sitcom arguing thing, yet people never assumed they “actually” liked each other, at least not where Nina could hear it, because jfc if there is anyone who will hold a grudge and hassle you for the rest of your life, it is Nina Wilkins. God help you if she’s angry enough to get her siblings involved. Anyway, the boy is just one of the only people who immediately gets that whatever bullshit comes out of her mouth in an argument or on the court doesn’t actually Mean anything to her. She’s competitive but not actually trying to be mean. It probably helps that literally everyone assumed she was gay bc she’s kind of butch. She has no idea how to flirt.

(once a dude tried to spread a nasty rumor about Nina and Sonja wrecked his social life so completely that he ended up transferring schools. she got literally everyone to ostracize this guy and dragged out all sorts of fucking receipts going back to grade school. Zach was like “why didn’t you tell me! I would have beat him up!” and Sonja was like “no one had to be beaten up for me to ruin his life”. Zach was like “I think Sonja might be a monster???” and Tristan was like “that’s my girl :,)

Meredith, the babiest sister

Meredith just wants to read everything in the entire world and be left alone. Her primary form of social interaction is sitting in the room reading while the rest of her family does shit. She does exceptionally well in school. When teachers start getting on her case about extracurriculars to look good for college, she starts writing book reviews for the school newspaper and volunteering at both the school and public library. Mastered very young the art of paying attention to multiple things; even if you think she wasn’t paying attention to what was going on around her, she was. She’s very opinionated (like the rest of her siblings lmao) but much quieter about it. She won’t fight you or yell or talk shit about you, she will just ignore you. It’s not even pointed. Most people don’t know if she hates them, even though she dislikes plenty of people. Fairly well-liked even though she’s not sociable, since she is quiet and thus people project whatever they want to see/hear. Probably gets into the least trouble of any of the kids. Kind of likes Tristan more than her actual siblings. Probably also queer but doesn’t talk to anyone about it. The only time I’ve ever written her into any sort of relationship is with a college guy she met at the library while she was still in high school. She’s not the youngest by so much (she and Nina have the same gap as Nina and Sonja) but she’s the only one who never knew their dad and the only one who’s naturally quiet, so she does feel a little left out sometimes. That’s probably part of why she likes Tristan so much; he’s the only other one sitting quietly and calmly at family functions.

Probably when her first scathing high school book review was published people were like “oh look! mary is a wilkins after all! she just prefers to tear apart books instead of people”

The Stables

Meredith, mother

[i don’t know if i’ve ever drawn her actually lmao]

look i’ma be real with you, I know nothing about her. She’s been ill and largely bed-ridden, or dead, in most of the stuff i’ve written. her husband left her and the boys when Rhys was still an infant, and she kind of. wasted away. she was utterly devoted to this man and he didn’t even say anything, just bounced. she has no idea why. she probably didn’t start getting really sick until Tristan was in high school. I have no idea how she provided for the boys bc she was definitely living that housewife life. she didn’t need to work bc her husband was a lawyer, and then he left. she did become good friends with Tricia Wilkins, and they kind of mutually helped each other out, first with the boys, and then in general. Meredith couldn’t drive after a while, and definitely loaned Tricia the car when her used POS broke down. She’s sweet and people liked her a lot, even when she got sick and sad and was always a drag, because she was that nice when she was well. They probably got lots of help from neighbors right after Gary left. She’s a good cook and has a nice singing voice.

Rhys, younger than Zach and Tristan but older than all the Wilkins girls

Rhys has got lots of the same abandonment and trust issues that Tristan does, but he doesn’t have a Zach to act like his emotional backbone. He’s also just not as stoic as Tristan. He gets drunk and calls Tristan to pick him up, crying, a lot in high school. Had a big crush on Sonja for most of childhood, but she was never interested. He also harbors a lot of Guilt that Tristan couldn’t like go to college or do what he wanted bc he had to take care of Rhys, even though he’s five years younger and couldn’t really control things like. capitalism. He plays guitar. He actually learned at a friend’s house in middle school and never told his family until someone gave him their old guitar and he just came home like “hey i’m going to be a musician”. he’s not actually good at any other part of music, he just likes playing guitar. He’s also bi and didn’t really think about it until after Tristan came out and he was like “wait. okay. how do YOU feel about boys”. He’s also pretty into video games. Most of Tristan’s disposable income probably went to keeping Rhys in relatively current video games. Rhys likes to make dark jokes about shit that actually bothers him, but he’s careful not to do it around Zach because Zach goes Full Dad and is like “wanna talk about your feelings, bud” and like, no, Rhys only wants to allude to the fact that he has feelings, he doesn’t really want to talk about them any more than Tristan does. Rhys doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life. He’s probably the kind of person who will feel like that no matter what he does or how long he does it.

(you may note that mrs. stable has the same name as mrs. wilkins’s youngest child. mrs. stable also would have named tristan “tricia”. these are coincidences but they joke that it means they were Meant To Be Friends.)