#is this something sj could have gotten on his own if someone had reached out to him first?

[pippuns]

the only thing that could have improved SVSSS is if shen jiu was in the background providing scathing hateful commentary the entire time. i want to see him and shen yuan eat each other alive <3

[megalony]

Pretty Please

This is a new Eddie x Buck x Reader imagine I've come up with, based on a few different requests I've gotten. I should be doing a follow up part to this if anyone is interested. Any feedback would be amazing.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@butlegendsneverdie@langdonzvoid@jennyggggrrr@rogmeddows@radiob-l-a-hblah@rogertaylorsbitontheside@chlobo6@rogertaylors-lipgloss@sj-thefanthefan@omgitsearly@luckytrashgooprebel@scarsout@deaky-with-a-c@killer-queen-ofrhye@bluutac@vousmemanqueez-blog@jonesyaddiction@milanosaurus@httpfandxms@saint-hardy@7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls@mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen

911 Masterlist

Summary: Eddie and Evan used to be single parents, but not anymore. Now, alongside (Y/n), they're co-parenting their kids, Chris and Lottie, and are about to move in together.

Enjoy.

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"Are you okay? You've been looking at your phone every five minutes," Evan pushed his weight down onto the pull-up bar, swaying his feet back and forth in the air for a few seconds before he dropped down to the floor.

"I'm just… my boy likes it when I pick him up from school, and I'm not, so,"

A gentle smile formed on Evan's lips as he watched Eddie wave his hands about before he settled them back on his thighs and stared down at his phone. It was a look Evan had worn quite a few times over the past year, one he wasn't used to seeing on anyone else.

"So, you're hovering?"

"I guess. He's got a new home and a new school, and now it's not always me getting him from school. It's a lot to get used to, and it's just us now." Eddie tried to smile but he couldn't find it in himself to do so, it was too hard contorting too many muscles when all he wanted to do was sigh and go home. "Doing this alone ain't great- I don't expect you to understand,"

Pulling away from the weights, Evan wiped his hands on the towel before he plonked himself down next to Eddie on the bench in the gym. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, tilting his head to the side to look at his new work partner with a perplexed look.

"You're not the only single dad here, you know." Evan tried really hard to keep the snarky tone out of his voice but he couldn't quite manage it.

Something inside him told him to be protective, put his defences up around someone new. Someone who didn't know Evan like the rest of the team. But if they were going to be partners, they may as well open up and share a few things.

"You have kids?"

Evan reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone, tilting it so Eddie could see his lockscreen. "That's my baby girl," A calmer, more soothing tone came to Evan's voice and he cracked a smile when he looked at the picture. It was a more recent picture, he had only just changed the lockscreen. For the past year and a half the picture had been the same. The picture Maddie took of Evan the first time he held Lottie.

Now she was a bit older, Evan finally changed the photo to a selfie of them both where he finally got her to grin at the screen after almost twenty minutes of trying to take a good photo of them both.

"She's sweet… sorry, I uh, I didn't think you…" Whatever way Eddie worded it, he was going to sound rude. When he looked at Evan, he didn't think of him as a dad, but then again people probably thought the same thing when they looked at Eddie.

"No one here believed me when I told them, either. And I get it, being here is hard when you just wanna be home, and when you're all they have… it's tough."

Part of Evan still had a tiny, miniscule bit of anger towards the team, despite how much he loved them all like his own family. He was angry that after working with them for three months, none of them took him seriously when he said he was going to have a baby. And Evan understood why. He had fucked around a lot since before he started at the 118 station and he couldn't remember half the girls he slept with.

So when Leigh turned up on his doorstep and said she was pregnant, Evan hadn't been as thrilled as he should have been.

But he thought the team would have been more considerate and he had blown up when they acted like it was a joke.

"Her mum's not in the picture?"

"Nah, I'll admit I wasn't great at the time, I fucked around and I thought I was careful… Lottie proved me wrong though." He clasped his hands together in his lap and bowed his head. "My ex wasn't happy. And you know I tried, I went to the scans, I sorted my shit out and I was there when Lottie was born. But Leigh left. She seemed to take one look and just… just decided she didn't want her. But I did."

Evan knew if Leigh had the choice, she wouldn't have chosen Evan to be her baby's father. He barely remembered her name when she showed up on his doorstep, he didn't even remember that he'd brought her back to his apartment- more than once.

From the moment she told him, Evan cleaned up his act. He tried harder at work, he stopped sleeping around from the moment Leigh showed up. He attended all her appointments and he had been there when Lottie was born. Maddie made him do a DNA test, she didn't trust Leigh but when it came back positive Evan didn't care. It could have said he wasn't Lottie's father and he would have kept her anyway.

When she was in his arms, his world slotted into place. And Leigh's world fell apart.

"One week later I had sole custody and I haven't seen her since."

It had been the right thing for all of them. Evan wanted his daughter, Leigh didn't and they just drifted immediately. After one week, Leigh was certain a baby wasn't what she wanted in her life. She signed all the papers and Evan didn't have a contact number or a forwarding adress, and that was how he wanted it. If she didn't want contact, Evan would make sure Lottie knew that all she needed was him and her aunt Maddie. No one else mattered.

It was just the two of them against the world.

"Buck?" A tender smile flitted across Eddie's lips as he leaned over the back of the sofa and looked down at his partner. He clasped both hands on Evan's shoulders and pressed a kiss to his temple, jolting him back to the waking world. "If you need some sleep, go in the bunker room."

"I- no, that was a two minute power nap, I'm good." He groaned through the words as he pushed himself up so he was sitting upright instead of slouched down on the sofa. He had barely nodded off for five minutes, his watch proved it. He didn't mean to fall asleep, he just got comfy, slid down and then he was out.

"Aren't you getting enough sleep at home?" Eddie jested as he slouched down next to him on the sofa and took a gulp of coffee.

"Not when Lottie's coughing her lungs up in my ear I don't."

He usually slept like a log and Lottie was at the stage of sleeping fine through the night. Until four days ago, when she got a chest infection. Since their trip to the doctor, Lottie had been sleeping in Evan's bed and she only managed to sleep when he wrapped her up in his arms and snuggled her against his chest with a blanket. And then she would cough and splutter and wake herself up, going into fits of tears.

She fell asleep properly just two hours before their morning alarm and screamed when Evan told her he had to go to work and she was going to spend the day with Maddie.

He hated leaving her when she wasn't well and she made it impossible for him to leave. Now he was regretting not calling in sick and just spending the day in bed with Lottie. It would have calmed his raging nerves to know that she was tucked up safe with him and that she was alright. Being at work just made him panic that she was getting worse without him there beside her.

"Chris used to get a lot of infections. In the end he'd just spend hours in the bath, the hot water worked best for him."

"Do you remember the last time you were round my house at bath time? My daughter somehow believes she'll get sucked down the drain." Evan had never heard his daughter scream as much as she did when bath time was over and it wasn't even in a tantrum or protest.

Lottie had a horrible fear of going down the plug, she thought as soon as the water started to disappear that she would also get pulled down the drain and be lost in the pipes forever. Either Evan had to get her out the bath first, or he pulled the plug and risked her launching herself on him and harming them both so she could get out as quickly as possible.

And she wasn't even three years old yet.

"Then it's a good job my place has a shower," Eddie grinned around his coffee cup and drained the last drops while he jabbed his elbow into Evan's side in jest.

In about two weeks, Evan, Lottie and their partner (Y/n) would be moving in with Eddie and Chris. It was going to be a big step for all of them and a change for the kids.

Chris couldn't remember the time when his parents had lived together, it had been years and he was only a toddler when Eddie and Shannon split up. And for Lottie, all she knew was Evan. No one else had ever lived with them, she had her dad and that was it. Now, Lottie was going to go from having one parent to gaining two more. She adored Eddie and she seemed to attach to (Y/n) whenever they were in the same room, but living together was a new experience for everyone.

Eddie's last relationship was his marriage and that ended horribly. (Y/n)'s previous relationship hadn't been enjoyable and she had never lived with any of her partners before. And Evan had lived with only one girlfriend before and that had lasted all of three months before he found out about Lottie and the relationship ended on the spot.

All three of them were praying this move would be the right choice for everyone and that it would go smoothly.

"Buck… I think you have some visitors,"

Evan's hand found Eddie's knee and he gave a light squeeze before he leaned his head over the cushion, rapidly looking around to see where Bobby was. He found the Captain at the top of the stairs, smiling as he pointed over his shoulder to signal where the visitors were.

He could feel himself livening up as he jumped up from the sofa and headed over to the stairs. There weren't many people it could be visiting him and he had a sneaking suspicion it was his daughter. A bubble of panic burst to life along with adrenaline in Evan's stomach at the thought of it being Maddie and Lottie turning up. That had to mean Lottie was getting worse if Maddie was bringing her down to the station to see him.

He scooted past Bobby, trying not to trip as he hurried down the stairs towards his sister who was just walking past one of the trucks.

She was smiling at him which was a good sign and calmed down one of Evan's many nerves. She had Lottie's bag on her shoulder and the two year old bouncing on her hip, clinging to her as she coughed into Maddie's neck.

"Hi babygirl,"

The moment Lottie registered Evan's voice cooing at her, she lifted her head and her pale lips pulled into a smile, briefly obscured by another cough. She stretched her arms out and whined, bashing her feet into Maddie's stomach and back until Evan was close enough to scoop her up.

He flashed his pearly whites, grinning like a shark when he picked her up and reeled her into his chest like a fish on a hook. His large hand smoothed up and down Lottie's back, rubbing soothing circles to try and help ease her cough. Evan could feel her nimble fingers scrunching up in his shirt and she smothered her face against his exposed neck, bending his collar out of her way so she could breathe crackling breaths into his neck.

"Poor baby," Evan mused with his lips meshed into her wild sandy curls that resembled his own. His nose ruffled her curls and he turned his head, squishing his cheek against the top of her head as he started to sway her side to side.

When his eyes locked on his sister, he could see the exhaustion on her face and it made him feel bad. He definitely shouldn't have come to work today. Lottie played up for anyone but Evan when she was ill. If she was her usual self, she would be a Godsend, never made trouble or put a toe out of line and she loved spending time with Maddie. Just not if she was sick.

"How's she been?" He wasn't sure he dare ask and when Maddie pursed her lips and raised a brow, Evan winced.

"Mostly coughing and crying which wasn't a problem at all… it was the screaming when I tried to use this that nearly made her pass out." Fumbling around in her bag, Maddie found the inhaler and spacer that had caused such havoc between her and her niece.

"Oh dear."

When Evan took Lottie to the doctors a few days ago, they could see how congested she was and how hard she was finding it to breathe. So the nurse suggested trying an inhaler but with how young she was, she would need a spacer to go along with it.

A spacer was a plastic tube that the inhaler slotted onto and once the inhaler was pressed, the tube spaced out the steroids so Lottie could inhale it much slower rather than one bout of medicine all at once.

But it did look frightening. She barely let Evan use it with her and when Maddie tried, all she did was scream and say her aunt was being mean. She acted as if Maddie was trying to hit her with it or as if it was full of poison that would kill her instead of make her feel better.

She needed to use it to feel better, she had barely been breathing due to coughing so much. And when she started to scream, her little face went red and she fell down, lightheaded and close to passing out. The only thing Maddie could think of doing was bringing her to the station to see if Evan- or possibly Eddie- could get Lottie to use it. He always managed to calm her down and she knew an hour with him would settle her enough until he finally came home from shift.

"Pass it over, I'll give it a try." He leaned his chest back, tilting Lottie further into his chest so he could reach out and take the inhaler and spacer. Hiding it behind his thigh so Lottie wouldn't see. "Come on baby, let's go watch tv while Maddie gets a drink."

Evan looked over at Chimney, then back at his sister. He knew if he took Lottie for a bit and gave Maddie a break, she could have a drink with Chimney while Evan tried to work his magic on his daughter.

He kept his lips pressed to Lottie's head, smiling to himself when she started to mumble 'daddy' over and over into his neck. His eyes locked with Eddie when he got upstairs but the moment Eddie clocked onto the inhaler, he whistled and raised a brow as he passed to go towards the kitchen. On his way past, Eddie pressed a quick kiss to Lottie's temple, muttering a round of 'good luck' to Evan on his way past.

"You're not sitting with them?" Hen leaned around Eddie as she watched Evan move towards the sofa in front of the tv that was blaring out the latest news. She thought Eddie would have sat with them and made the most of Lottie's visit before they had to get on with their work.

"Oh I'll be able to hear her scream just fine from over here," He dumped his cup in the sink and leaned his forearms down on the kitchen counter. Arching his back out as he looked over at his partner across the kitchen. He wasn't standing close if Lottie was going to try and use her inhaler.

When Evan first tried to get her to use it, Eddie had been on the phone and Lottie had screamed so much Eddie thought he had gone deaf. He heard her call Evan a meanie and cry and wheeze until Evan was almost crying that she was about to turn red.

Eddie would rather wait until Evan had tried his luck with the inhaler before he went to sit with them for a little while.

"Alright babygirl, deep breath for me." Evan sat down on the sofa, hiding the inhaler behind his feet as he perched Lottie on his lap. He pressed a hand to her back and one to her chest, feeling her crackling lungs when she tried to inhale deeply, ending in a cough.

Lottie tilted her head back to look up at Evan, wheezing and tensing her shoulders to try and smother another cough. Her eyes were already watering from the need to cough and she looked paler than she had this morning when he left her. Just looking at his poorly girl made guilt rack up in Evan's stomach and sent him reeling.

"Alright baby, you need to have some medicine."

Evan pursed his lips as he glanced over his shoulder, catching sight of Hen, Bobby and Eddie all looking at him with smiles and nodding his way. They weren't going to help, only spectate.

He lifted Lottie up and set her down next to him so he could slide off the sofa and kneel down on the floor in front of her instead. She tucked her legs up beneath her and held onto her little legs, leaning back and forth as she continued to cough and croak. Her tiny button nose crinkled at the end and she shivered.

Her little eyes stayed closed for a few moments which was long enough for Evan to clip the inhaler into the spacer but once Lottie opened her eyes, she paled and leaned back.

"No! No daddy."

Evan predicted Lottie would try to swat at the spacer which was why he held it up above his head, out of her reach. He held his free hand out and gently grabbed her hand as he shook his head.

"Hey now, I thought you liked magic?"

"S'not magic. Nasty, don't want it,"

"It is magic because it will help you breathe better. Come on, be a big girl. Look, I can do it." Evan pretended to press the inhaler and pressed the spacer against his nose and mouth. The last thing he wanted was a deep breath of steroids he didn't need but he would happily play pretend if it got Lottie to go along with him.

He told her it was a toy when she first saw it and pretended to speak into it so she would do the same. But when he pressed the inhaler and she took a deep breath, it tickled her throat and made her chest ignite. It helped, she had enough air to scream at Evan and she didn't trust him after that. Every day since, Evan had to bribe her to try and use it and it was trial and error with her.

Lottie shook her head and leaned as far back into the sofa as she could until Evan reached his arm around her and pulled her back towards him.

"No!"

Eddie winced and hid his grimace behind his hands that were clasped together in front of his face. He could see the pain in Evan's eyes from this distance when Lottie tried to scream but all she ended up doing was slouching forward with a horrid gargling cough.

"Please babygirl? Come on, where's Lottie gone?" For a brief moment, Evan pressed the spacer near his eye, acting as if it was a binocular he was trying to look through.

That was enough encouragement for Lottie to lean closer, apprehension vivid in her eyes but when Evan asked where she was, curiosity got the better of her.

As quick as anything, Evan pressed the inhaler and puffed out his chest, trying to get Lottie to copy him and take a deep breath. He held his breath and puffed out his cheeks that curved into a grin when Lottie tried to breathe into the tube. Her eyes snapped closed and her small fingers scratched into Evan's arm as she tilted her chin down into her chest and squirmed. The deeper breath she took, the more her chest hurt and tickled and it felt like something was physically expanding her lungs for her.

But it helped. She coughed before taking a crackling breath and itching around in Evan's arm until she could push the spacer away. Her head flopped forward onto Evan's shoulder and she curled her arms around his bicep, clinging to him as she took deep breaths.

She felt his arm coil around her waist and his large hand engulfed her hip so he could pull her up into his chest while he kissed the back of her head.

"See? You're so brave. One more for me, just one more then you can go see Eddie, hmm?"

Evan balanced on his heels, feeling a pain burning in the back of his calves from crouching for so long, shifting from his toes to his heels. He kept his left arm around Lottie, holding her against his chest and shoulder and wrapped his right arm around his front until the spacer was near her face. He would gladly cuddle her and hold her close if she would try the spacer again. If he could get her to use it tonight before she went to bed it might help them both sleep better.

She tilted her head from side to side, grumbling and whimpering until Evan pressed the inhaler and held it as close to her nose and mouth as he could manage.

It didn't quite cover her mouth properly and Lottie clenched her hand around Evan's hand that held the spacer, preventing it from completely pressing into her face. She breathed as quickly as she could, inhaling half of the air she was supposed to from the spacer but it was enough for now.

"That's my baby, all done. Good girl," Evan placed the spacer down on the coffee table behind him before he scooped Lottie up in his arms and stood up.

He let her bury her face between his shoulder and chest and curl her legs around his broad chest. Her arms tightly cocooned around his neck until Evan had no choice but to lean forward or have his neck snapped. He kissed the top of her head and pressed his free hand to the back of her neck, smoothing his thumb up and down her cheek as he walked over towards the kitchen.

"See? Didn't I tell you she was brave?" Evan bounced her on his hip, raising a brow when Eddie reached forward to take her. He wasn't so eager when she was screaming but as soon as she returned to the little doe-eyed girl, Eddie was all for her.

"Hi Lottie-cake," Eddie kissed the top of her head, wearing a broad grin when she easily slid from Evan's arms and into his.

He missed having a toddler. He had missed out on a lot of Chris's early childhood and it had taken a lot of trial and error after Shannon left, but Eddie wouldn't have it any other way. Getting together with Evan and (Y/n) had been one of the best things to happen to Eddie. And he got another child in this new relationship. A little girl to spoil, which was exactly how everyone felt when they met Lottie.

"And she's asleep." Eddie wasn't sure whether he was insulted or proud as he looked down and realised her eyes were closed and she was breathing evenly into his neck. He could feel how croaky she was and little grumbles and huffs left her lips every now and then, but she seemed very settled.

"Can you stay like that for the rest of the day? Pretty please?" Evan slumped himself down onto the counter and ran his fingers through his hair while he looked lovingly over at his boyfriend.

Couldn't Eddie just stay at the station for the remainder of their shift and hold Lottie? If she was sleeping in his arms like that, she might just get a good rest and feel a bit better. She would wake up as soon as Eddie let her go and when she realised Maddie would be taking her home soon, she would start crying and screaming again.

"I wish. Go sweet-talk Cap and see what he says," A proud smile lit up Eddie's face and he leaned his hips back against the counter, smoothing his free hand through Lottie's mess of curls. He couldn't resist kissing her head and he started slowly swaying from side to side, lightly bouncing Lottie in the crook of his elbow to try and keep her settled and drifting off to sleep.

Evan knew one thing for certain, he wouldn't be at work for the rest of the week if she continued to be this sick.

***

Eddie hummed a quiet tune at the back of his throat to try and keep himself awake, but he could feel his eyelids flagging and his view of the bathroom was starting to blur and become obscured.

He coughed and let out a small grunt before he went back to humming and looked down at the little girl in his arms. Every few seconds, Eddie jostled his arms up and down, moving Lottie up and down while he kissed the back of her head and hummed into her hair.

He trailed his lips down to kiss her cheek and tilted his neck so he could check and see if she was still awake or not. She had suddenly gone rather quiet in his arms.

It had to be sometime around one in the morning.

This was the first time Evan, Lottie and (Y/n) were staying the night with Eddie and Chris. They were all moving in next week so they were doing a trial run for two nights to try and get the kids used to being under the same roof and see how things went.

The night would have gone a lot smoother if Lottie still wasn't down with a chest infection. She loved her room here which was almost finished and she had been so tired she fell asleep during the movie with them all in the living room. Evan put her to bed and every hour or so, one of them checked in on her.

The three of them actually managed to go to bed and get two hours sleep. Then Lottie woke up.

She had been crying and coughing so Eddie gave her some medicine but she suddenly started to croak and wheeze and then she could barely breathe. He had resorted to the bathroom to try something new. Eddie filled the sink with boiling water, put some vapour drops in the water, lathered Lottie in vapour cream to try and clear her airways. And now he was holding her over the sink, getting her to breathe in the steam to clear her chest.

He thought she would scream at him like she did with the inhaler, but the steam seemed to help straight away. Her coughing got worse but in a good way, it was deeper and allowed her to take proper breaths.

Almost twenty minutes Eddie had been doubled over the sink with Lottie in his arms and he felt like he could sleep standing up. But she was keeping him awake on his toes, if he stopped bouncing her in his arms for more than ten seconds, she would whine and bat at his hand to make him continue.

"Atta girl Lottie-cake." He spoke quietly, grinning when he realised she was asleep. Her head lolled onto his bicep and she snuffled, croaking as she dozed off in his arms.

As gently as he could, Eddie lifted her and turned her around in his arms until she was settled on his chest. Her head fell just beneath his chin and she slumped against his upper chest with her palm pressed over his collar bone. Eddie left the sink full and turned off the light, he was too tired to deal with it now when he could tidy up in the morning. After they all got some sleep.

"You can come sleep with us," Eddie kissed the top of her head and made his way to his room. He knew what would happen if he put Lottie down. She wasn't fully asleep yet and if he woke her whilst trying to put her in her own bed, she would start to cry. It would be easier to let her stay with them tonight and try her in her new room again tomorrow.

When Eddie padded back into his room, he carefully eased himself back down onto the bed, making sure Lottie stayed motionless against his chest. He laid out on his back next to (Y/n), inhaling slowly to adjust to the new weight on his chest. Lottie snuggled up until her head was pressed right beneath his chin near his Adam's apple and her arms secured around his neck to keep him close as if he was going to try and escape.

A smile worked its way onto his face when (Y/n) pressed her face up into his shoulder and draped her leg over his, rubbing her foot against his lower leg.

"Goodnight,"

***

"Come on, breakfast is ready!"

Evan jolted forward when a pair of hands grabbed his shoulders and nudged him until he moved off balance. His eyes snapped open and he gasped as he rolled from his side and onto Eddie's chest, promptly scaring his partner awake in the process.

"Breakfast!" Chris whined again, nudging Evan until he groaned and ran a hand up and down his face to try and wake himself up.

"W-what time is it?"

"Where's Lottie?" Evan pressed a hand against Eddie's chest and pushed himself up until he could sit up in bed. He ran his fingers through his hair while he looked around the bedroom. Early in the morning he remembered Eddie going to check on Lottie so he and (Y/n) didn't have to and an hour after that, Eddie found Lottie snuggled in bed with them.

Every now and then when she coughed, Evan had reached out to rub his hand up and down her back or kiss her temple if he could reach her. She had climbed over all three of them, moving between who she wanted to lay with.

When Evan's words sank in, Eddie's hands moved to his chest that suddenly felt light and empty. Lottie kept coming back to lay on him during the night, he hadn't realised she had left the room. And so had (Y/n).

"They're making breakfast."

"Alright, we're coming," Eddie pushed up, stretched his arms above his head and climbed out of bed behind Evan. It seemed like the girls had gotten up and got breakfast sorted while the rest of them stayed in bed. Chris's hair was all over the place and he was still in his pyjamas.

A grin took over Evan's features when he padded into the kitchen, still rubbing his hands over his eyes to wake himself up.

There was Lottie, perched on the kitchen counter beside the fridge, a teddy in her arms and (Y/n) stood beside her with a spatula in hand and plates of food all served up around her.

"Morning girls, what are we making?" Evan wrapped an arm around (Y/n)'s waist and reeled her into his side like a fish on a hook. His bare chest pressed up into her back and he tucked his face into her neck, pressing a tender kiss there just to feel her shiver against him.

His free hand moved out to cup Lottie's chin and he brushed his thumb across her cheek, smiling when she grinned up at him.

"Bacon and eggs."

"Buck… aren't you forgetting something?" A smirk flooded Eddie's face as he picked Chris up for a morning hug and leaned across to put the kettle on to make some coffee. He watched his partner tilt his head and frown in confusion that mixed in with tiredness.

Reaching out, Eddie grabbed the spacer and inhaler from the counter and waved it over at him. He grinned when Evan's jaw slacked and his shoulders slumped before he dropped his face back into the crook of (Y/n)'s neck and curled around her like he was pretending to disappear.

Morning and evening, Lottie needed to be encouraged to use the spacer until her infection cleared and she wouldn't let anyone but Evan use it.

He smiled shyly into (Y/n)'s neck when she turned her head to press a gentle, wet kiss to his forehead. They all knew he needed to be more awake and alert if he was going to bribe his daughter to take her inhaler. Breakfast would have to come first to ensure he woke up.

He was glad they all had the next three days off together.

[dc41896]

Favorite

Pairing: Paul DiskantxBlack Reader

⚠️: Fluff!

“Cmon baby girl please stop crying. She just left for a little while.”

Bouncing the fussy six month old, his pleads fall on deaf ears as her wails continue and seem to grow louder with each passing second. He tried using her favorite bear, her rattle, and play her favorite lullaby but nothing worked. She acted as if he was just showing her random items that were of no interest to her.

“Aww what’s wrong munchkin?,” you ask putting down your keys and purse before walking up to the both of them. “What did daddy do huh?”

“Nothing! I’ve tried her toys, food-,” he starts as he places her in your arms.

“Honey, relax I’m kidding. I know you didn’t do anything, Noelle’s probably just cranky.”

“Seems like she’s only cranky when I try to take care of her,” he mumbles sitting on the couch.

“That’s not true.”

Raising his brow, he reaches out to take Noel from your arms making the currently calm baby begin whining as soon as she felt space between the two of you.

“See?,” he counters returning her to your chest as she snuggles into your neck.

“She’s sleepy. Let me go put her down, you try to relax okay?” Watching you walk away while softly humming, he tried to reassure himself that it was in fact her sleepiness making her fussy and not that his own daughter hated him.

But thinking about the past couple weeks only made it more difficult to believe.

All throughout your pregnancy he was there talking and reading books to your stomach trying to bond with Noelle. When she was born, all she wanted to do, besides eat and sleep, was stare at her father and even flashed her first smile at him.

After returning from his recent three month undercover assignment though, all those memories seemed to go out the door. She treated him like he was a stranger and favored being with her mom over him. And when she was left with him, even for a few minutes, she’d squirm in his arms whining while trying to escape. It left him no choice but to either lie her on the blanket on the floor with her toys or place her in the bouncer.

Sighing, he flips through the channels eventually stopping on the news, but not really caring about anything the anchors had to say.

“Whatcha watching?,” you ask in a childlike tone entering the living room, slowly making your way towards the back of the couch.

“News,” he weakly smiles as your hands rest on his shoulders gently massaging the tense areas. Relaxing into your touch, he slowly exhales while his eyes close and head leans back hoping you never stop. “Noelle hates me.”

“No she doesn’t. Where did you get that from?”

“Her and how ever since I’ve gotten back she wants nothing to do with me.” Feeling your lips on his forehead, his eyes flutter open to your upside down sympathetic smile.

“She’s probably going through a time where she wants to be with her mom. Pretty much all kids go through it, including a certain mommas boy sulking on the couch.”

“Am not.”

“Are too. When you get sick now you’re all stuffy on the phone like ‘mom my head hurts’ or ‘can you give Y/N the recipe for the soup I like?’,” you tease imitating his voice and making him roll his eyes as he chuckles.

“But seriously though, Noelle loves you. I’m sure once she gets used to you being home again, she’ll be back to her old ways.”

Arms now draped across his chest, you lean down kissing his cheek before resting your head close to his neck. “Hey, I think I know what’ll make you feel better.”

“Hmm?”

“How about I make you a bath with that soap you like and those bath salts you say make your skin feel soft?,” you smile fiddling with the chain around his neck. “How does that sound?”

“Very relaxing, but one thing though..” he pauses gently pulling on your arm so you’d join him on the couch sitting in his lap. “Will you be coming with that bath too?”

“I can if you want,” you giggle as his pink lips peck and graze your neck. “We gotta be quick though, there’s no telling when- Paul!” A short squeal leaves your mouth feeling strong arms suddenly lift you in the air.

“Shh, before you wake her up,” he smirks taking you down the hall and eventually your bedroom.

———

Peacefully lying in bed with sheets sprawled across his body, a light draft against his bare chest causes him to stir extending his arm to pull your body closer to his for warmth. However feeling nothing but more sheets, he cracks one eye open to find you gone and a beam of light from the hall shining through the cracked door.

As he sits up, he hears you frantically talking on the phone making him quickly slide out of bed following your voice to Noelle’s room.

“Hey what’s wrong?,” he asks seeing you close to tears gently bouncing the hazy eyed baby.

“I-I think she’s sick. I heard her coughing so I came to check on her and then when I picked her up she sweating and hot. Now she’s acting off and not really responding to her name or when I try to tickle her which isn’t usual-,”

“Baby breathe, okay?,” he says kissing your temple. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

“And what if it’s not?! What if something’s going on that we don’t know and then-,”

“No don’t think like that. What did the nurse say?”

“She said that it sounded like she might have a cold and I could give her liquid Tylenol. To be safe though, she said I could bring her in tomorrow morning.”

Shifting their attention to the little girl in your arms, Paul takes her small hand in his softly smiling at her as you kiss the top of her head.

“You’re gonna get better baby girl, okay?” Hazel eyes on her father, her gaze doesn’t last long before she turns her head in the opposite direction making his smile fall. “Did you give her anything yet?”

“No not yet, I have a feeling I know how it’s gonna go though. Can you hold her for me?”

“Um yea...a-are you sure though? You know with how things were earlier?”

“And like I said earlier she doesn’t hate you,” you reply placing her in his arms. “Plus I don’t think she really cares who holds her right now.”

This was the first time since she was born he felt nervous holding Noelle. With how she had been acting as of late, he was afraid of doing anything that would make her start crying and thus, make her feel worse and you stress more.

“Okay sweetie, time to take your medicine,” you smile holding the small syringe near her lips. You couldn’t even release any in her mouth before she scrunched her face in disgust starting to whine and squirm in his arms. “I know, but you gotta take it so you’ll feel better.”

Trying to keep it close to her mouth, you manage to get the syringe in and squeeze the medicine out, but your daughter had other plans immediately spitting it back up all over her onesie and the upper part of Paul’s abdomen making you groan.

“Okay, um you stay here and I’ll go put some juice in a bottle and see if she’ll drink it mixed in or something,” you state wiping the medicine off both of them before leaving for the kitchen.

“Alright come on Noelle I know it tastes funny but you need it to get better,” Paul softly explains using his free hand to refill the syringe. He figured he’d probably get the same reaction, but he could at least try once to help out. “It’s like the Winnie the Pooh story we read that one time. Where he ate too much honey and the mommy kangaroo made him the soup to feel better? You probably don’t remember but trust me it was a good story.”

Looking up at Paul, she seemed so entranced by what he was saying he could easily stick the plastic in her mouth squeezing out the medicine before gently blowing on her face making her rapidly blink as she swallowed.

“And then she rubbed his tummy and sung the song that always makes Koo feel better,” he adds beginning to rock her. “Get well soon my Noelle, there’s better days for you. Get well soon my Noelle, always remember I love you. Of course her voice sounded better though.”

“Looks like someone doesn’t hate you anymore,” you smirk leaning against the doorframe.

“Or she’s just really calm since she’s sick.”

“You saw how she was when I tried. Yet when you gave it to her, it was like she was drinking from her bottle,” you giggle. “Why’d you blow on her face?”

“I was told it makes them swallow. I got it when I was in the hospital talking to a witness and saw a nurse do it giving some medicine to a baby.”

Slowly moving towards the crib, he attempts to reposition Noelle so she’d be easier to put down, but once she wasn’t able to feel his heartbeat, her eyes immediately open and head sits up as faint cries come from her mouth.

“Okay I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he laughs watching her calm down once placed back near his chest. “Guess she’s sleeping with us tonight?”

“It’s fine and probably best so we can keep an eye on her. Plus I know you don’t want to let her go.”

“Never,” he chuckles kissing her hand as her lips curl into a small smile.

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[writingwithadinosaur]

“Under the Knife” - Part 10 (Finale)

“Under the Knife” - Part 10 (Finale)

My Masterlist - Here

Story Masterlist - Here

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Hannibal Lecter x Reader, Will Graham x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 3,800-ish

Key: Chunks of text in italics are (Y/N)’s thoughts. Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Cursing, talk of violence, talk of death

Summary: You are Will Graham’s sister who works with him at the FBI. When you get offered a job promotion, life starts to change. Some changes for the better; Some for the worst.

Author’s Note: Well, we are finally at the final chapter. This has been such an incredibly challenging story to work on, but I have learned so much from this process that will no doubt help shape my future stories.

Thank you to all of the readers who have liked, reblogged, commented, messaged, and reached out to me. This has been the best response I’ve gotten on a story and it has filled me with a level of appreciation that I wasn’t expecting. <3 

With the sappy stuff out of the way, please enjoy the final chapter of “Under the Knife.”

This is beta-read by @theeactress​, but please let me know if there is something that we missed or that we should look at again! 

<3

- DreaSaurusREX

Tag List: @fruitloopzzz @theeactress @melconnor2007 @ashenfallsof @geeksareunique @all-by-myself98 @sj-thefan​ @fuck-your-bad-vibes-dude​ @ntlmundy​ @a-person-unlabled​ @germansarechill​ @rentheanonymous​ @liadamerondjarin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Taking into account that Henry Urik was left-handed, I was able to throw my head back, causing him to falter, and then lean to my right in order to escape his grasp and not have my throat sliced open. This gave me enough time to get back to the table and get my hands on the gun.” 

“Unfortunately, the gun was empty. It’s common for killers to use unloaded or fake guns as intimidation techniques with their victims. My mistake gave Henry enough time to stabilize himself and grab hold of me again, resulting in a mild concussion and being knocked unconscious until a few hours later. Luckily Dr.Lecter was able to fight, thus saving me until Special Agent Crawford and his team could come.” You looked around and saw a few people taking notes while others just nodded their heads. Checking your watch, you saw that you had a few more minutes left to fill up. “And with that, I have time for one or two questions before we leave.”

The lights faded up a little bit, nothing too harsh for you. You quickly scanned over the larger than the normal crowd in your lecture hall. 

The fact that you, a survivor of the Virginia Scalpel, were giving a lecture on the case had attracted the minds of not only your normal trainees but the higher-ups as well. 

It was a slightly dizzying feeling to see the faces of management in your lecture hall, but that could also be the still healing minor concussion from a serial killer slamming you into a table a little less than a week ago. Either way, you took this time to sit on your desk and drink some water as you pointed to one of the trainees in the first row.

“I don’t want to bring up anything too triggering, ma’am, but I--”

“Kid, if I wasn’t okay enough to jump back into the shitstorm named Henry Urik, I wouldn’t have agreed to be here today.” A scattering of chuckles echoed through the hall. You were glad to hear that your lighthearted comment helped ease the tension in the room. “Please, continue. I’ll be okay, I promise.” The agent nodded and took a breath, whatever they were going to ask must have been weighing on their mind enough to scare them. You could tell that they were trying to hide it, but your ability to read people's subtleties was strong.

“Thank you, ma’am. I wanted to ask for your advice. What should we be aware of if we’re ever in a similar situation with an unstable or unpredictable suspect? What do we do?” 

You nodded and thought for a moment before you responded. You had a feeling that this type of question would come up now or through an email later on. Fiddling with your ring, you spoke.

“To be honest, you have to be able to assess everything at the moment. I may have seemed to have a handle on the situation externally, but internally? I was a quivering, frantic, and terrified mess. With Henry’s focus being solely on me, I knew I couldn’t just sit there. I knew that if I froze, it could have cost not only my life but also Hannibal’s.” You took a deep inhale through your nose before continuing. The thought of losing Hannibal hurt your heart. “My advice: really focus on the suspect. What are they saying? How are they saying it? What are they doing? Are there any mannerisms o-or phrases that hint at any sort of soft spot?” 

You held up a finger and turned to your computer, scrolling back through your presentation until you found the slide you were looking for. It was a diagram showing how all of the victims tied to Henry as well as Henry’s symptoms. You turned back towards your class.

“While I knew a majority of this information before my encounter with Dr.Urik, I only knew the facts at face value. When he and I talked about his experiences with all of these doctors, Henry let his anger and annoyance towards these men out. His voice changed from the seemingly calm and confident man that had just had a gun pointed at me, to a frustrated patient who just wanted answers that he believed in.”

“Now if we want to talk about more physical tells, that is the premise for another lecture entirely. You can tell a lot about a person without either of you having to utter a word.”

You looked at the trainee, they were watching you, truly listening to everything you had to say. From the almost unnoticeably tensed jaw to the stiff posture, this future agent was using all of their power not to tremble in fear at the thought of being in a scenario like this. You saw the fear in their eyes.

“As long as you breathe, remember your training, and let yourself fully assess the situation at hand, you’ll do the best you can do. Trust me, there were two very distinct moments that night where I thought and accepted the possibility that I was going to die. That’s a risk we all take with this job. But I focused on what I could do next and kept going. And that’s what you’ll learn throughout your time in training and in the field. You cannot stop, you have to keep going.”

You ended with a smile directly to the trainee to try to calm their nerves even a little bit. They visibly took a deep breath and nodded, giving you a quiet “thank you” before writing something in their notebook. Your saw movement out of the corner of your eye. Will and Hannibal were now standing off to the side, letting you know that you were almost done. Will was more rigid than usual. You assumed he heard the part about accepting death and he did not like that thought. 

Hannibal caught your eye as he tapped his watch. Nodding, you looked back to the class, prepared to dismiss them. That was until you saw a hand near the back. Before you could say or do anything, the man with the raised hand spoke. 

“How were you able to confirm the Scalpel’s motive? What stood out with him that made him suspect number 1?” You took a slightly larger breath as you realized it was one of the assistant directors speaking. Blinking a few times and gathering your thoughts you tried to sound as professional as you could. 

“Well, we originally were looking for an active doctor. Someone who could have access to the equipment and drugs needed for these killings. But then we realized that it could be a former doctor who was now a patient of these doctors.” You gestured to the slide projected behind you. “As for motive, we could only theorize until we talked to Henry himself. And while talking to him face-to-face last week revealed a lot, we cannot actually confirm anything when it comes to his psyche.”

“But you said it yourself, he was frustrated at the answers that these doctors had given him. So wouldn’t the Virginia Scalpel murders be crimes of passion, making his motive emotional overload?” The man spoke. You were thrown off just a bit, but found your way back to correct wording.

“They actually weren’t crimes of passion. Those are usually impulsive and emotionally driven. The Virginia Scalpel crime scenes, especially that of Dr.Pencalt and his wife, showed us that Henry was methodical and purposeful.” 

“Yes, there could have been an emotionally charged aspect to it. He was upset with these men. I theorized with Dr.Lecter and Special Agent Crawford that these killings could have been some sort of pain relief for his headaches. The act of slaying these men took all of his focus, alleviating the pounding in his head.” 

“At one point, he said that killing was a form of mercy and life could be considered torture. So he could very well have just wanted to spare them from this mortal coil. Or maybe Henry saw these murders as a way of honoring them. Maybe there was even a thrill-seeking aspect that he got a kick from.” You stood up from your spot on your desk, feeling yourself getting a bit weary after so much talking over the last hour or so, and tried to politely wrap this all up.

“Where I’m going with this is the fact that we can theorize all we want-- Hell, we can even settle on what we believe his motive was. But that’s all it’ll be: A belief. We will never truly know because Dr. Urik was found dead in the woods behind his former office building, stabbed a handful of times, and had enough of his own paralytic drug in his system to take down an ostrich.”

They were out of your sightline, but Hannibal and Will both smirked at how well you had handled the situation. It wasn’t often that managerial positions were proven wrong in front of a classroom full of people. However, both of their smiles slowly fell as the assistant director continued.

“I guess his death is a breath of fresh air, right? You can sleep at night knowing that the Virginia Scalpel is no longer out there. No more target on your back.” The assistant director tried to say that as a lighthearted joke. Something to lighten the mood. But you forced a pained smile and spoke your mind.

“Yes. I am thankful that I don’t have to worry about a scalpel cutting into my cheek again, or almost slicing my throat, or finding Dr. Lecter chopped into pieces in his bed or maybe even Henry breaking his pattern and going after the last bit of family that I have left. I guess sleeping should be easier, shouldn’t it?” 

You looked directly at the man as you spoke, the gravity of your situation and the insensitivity of his statements hitting him. You shifted your gaze to the trainees that were in the first few rows and continued, straightfaced. 

“But I am curious as to what he would have to say and how that perspective could have helped us catch others like him. I hope that you all can find that same curiosity as I do. If we can catch them and talk to them, we could learn what makes them tick and get information that could help us catch the next one before it's too late.” You let a beat of silence pass, letting your words sink into the minds of the young ones. “Thank you all for your time. For questions regarding the Virginia Scalpel case, please contact Special Agent Crawford and he will see if you are authorized to view the file notes. If you need to reach me for any reason other than the Virginia Scalpel case, you all have my email. Stay safe out there.” 

You turned away from the class and shut down your computer, trying to gather your things as the room applauded. You raised a hand as a way of saying “thank you but please stop” and they all filed out of the room. 

“I think that went well despite Assistant Director Ass-Hat’s commentary at the end there” Will made his way to you, grabbing your jacket from the chair behind you and holding it in his hands, gripping it tighter than normal as if doing so would solidify in his brain that you were here and safe.

“Thanks. For someone with a shaken brain, I think I did pretty good today.” You joked back at your brother. Looking over your shoulder, you saw the beginnings of his brain spiraling with worry. 

If he was being honest, Will still hasn’t fully gotten over the events of last week. It was his exact fear almost coming true. And while he was forever thankful that you were alive today, he was worried that this near-death experience wouldn’t be enough to stop you from continuing to work active cases. The fact that you wanted to give this presentation so soon after you were released from the hospital validated his worry more and more.

“I still think it’s too soon for you to be back here.” 

“If you had your way, I would never step foot near this building again, Will.” You joke over your shoulder as you slide your laptop into your bag. “But I also think that that is just your way of trying to get me to be a 24/7 dog sitter.” Will huffed out a breath that sounded like a dry chuckle.

“I’m not saying that, but if you ask Winston or the others, I’m sure they would be all for that idea.” 

You finally turn fully to Will and lightly smack his arm. His face fades from a small smile to an unmasked face of worry as he looks down at the jacket in his hands that he is still fiddling with.

“I know this isn’t going to change your decision on whether or not you stay with Jack’s team, but I really don’t like that idea.” 

“You said the same thing the first time we had this conversation.”

“Yes, but that was before you got seriously injured while working a case.”

“I wasn’t seriously injured.” Will was going to interject, but you kept talking. “But I understand. What we do is dangerous. But I’m going to say the same thing I said last time: I have the chance to save lives, and that is a good enough reason for me to stay.” 

Before either of you could continue, Hannibal finally made his way over. His hand landed comfortably on your lower back for a long moment to alert you of his presence. 

You and Hannibal had talked about your mutual feelings for one another and agreed to start exploring a romantic relationship. That being said, you haven't told Will yet. Luckily, the gesture from Hannibal was easily passed as friendly to your unknowing brother.

“The assistant director wanted me to pass along his apology, (Y/N). He didn’t mean to insult you with his statements.” You waved your hand dismissively.

“I know he didn’t mean to. But it was a nice excuse to hand a ‘powerful male’ his ass in front of a whole room. I’m sure his ego will bounce back in no time.” You let a devilish smirk grace your features, earning a smile from Hannibal and a chuckle from Will. 

Hannibal looked to Will and saw how he was holding your jacket. Hannibal just offered his hand.

“I can take that, Will. You should go. You don’t want to be late for your own lecture. I will make sure your sister is safe.” 

The hospital discharged you, but you were still healing. The cut on your cheek was almost healed, but you kept a bandage on it to be safe. A scar would surely form, permanently reminding you of your first case. Most people would associate it with the fear of impending doom by the hands of a serial killer. But you were actually okay with it. You saw it as a reminder of what you were able to survive.

The most inconvenient thing was that you weren’t allowed to drive yourself. Between the healing concussion and the medications you were on, driving was not the safest thing. So Hannibal and Will took it upon themselves to compare schedules and be your drivers. 

When Hannibal had afternoon patients or had to work late on something, you would stay with Will. On days where Will was needed at work, you would stay with Hannibal. Sometimes you would stay in their homes, and sometimes they would crash on your couch. Well, Will would crash on your couch. Hannibal would share the bed with you, protecting you from anything that would try to get you physically or mentally. 

Even when you decided to stay at Hannibal’s home, you felt safe. The dining room was a bit haunting. But you knew that no matter what, if something felt off or if you were in any sort of danger, Hannibal would step up and help the best he could. 

Your boys (and the dogs) made sure you were safe no matter where you were.

 If there was anyone Will trusted to watch over you, it was Hannibal. He was the reason you weren’t the Scalpel’s ninth victim.

Will just nodded and struggled to hand over the jacket. Your heart ached because you knew how easily concerned he got when it came to you. But you could also see that he was trying to let go of some of that worry, letting himself see that Hannibal was a safe man to have in your life. You closed the gap between you and Will and wrapped your arms around him, feeling how tense and distraught he was. 

“I will text you as soon as I get home, alright?” Will nodded his head as he squeezed you just a bit tighter. You squeezed back, knowing he needed the reassurance. He pulled away and you patted his shoulder. “Don’t give your kids too much shit today.” 

You both snorted, knowing there was some truth behind the joke. Will said goodbye to Hannibal and left the room, leaving you and Hannibal alone. 

As much as you wanted to hurry up and get out of here, you had to lean against the desk as you zipped up your bag, really feeling your lack of energy now.

“Are you alright?” Nodding, you took a sip from your water bottle before speaking.

“Yes? Did a lot of talking and thinking today. I think I’m starting to get tired.” You let a chuckle-esque exhale come through your nostrils. “Gotta build my energy back up.”

Hannibal stood in front of you, gently placed your jacket down on the desk, and took one on your hands in his. To any normal person, it just looked like he was holding your hand to comfort you. But you knew him. He was gathering data: Pulse, temperature, if your hands were clammy, and whatever else he could find out. But he was also holding your hand to comfort you a little.

After determining your vitals to be manageable, he lifts his hand to brush a few strands of hair from your face, letting his thumb stroke your cheek for a moment.

“I think it's time to go home and rest, don’t you?” Hannibal proposed. You nodded and grabbed your jacket from next to you.

“My place or yours?”

“Your choice, my love.” You couldn’t help but smile at the new and special sobriquet that Hannibal had started using more frequently. Hannibal kissed the back of your hand before helping you stand up, putting your hand on his arm to guide you out.

“I think my place tonight. And maybe we can stop at the store on the way and you can finally show me how to cook something worthy of the esteemed food artist, Hannibal Lecter?” Hannibal smirked at your dramatics.

“Do you think you’ll have the energy for that?” 

“No. But I’d still like to try.” You leaned towards Hannibal and felt a pleading smile make its way across your face, knowing Hannibal was already going to agree to your idea. He still pretended to think it over before nodding. 

“That sounds like a lovely evening.” You felt yourself wiggle just a bit out of happiness, Hannibal smiled at the cuteness of the motion.

Hannibal reached out and touched the doorknob, but before he could open the door, you were distracted by your phone buzzing in your pocket. When you looked at the caller ID, your feet stopped moving and your heart dropped. You couldn’t tell if it was out of fear or excitement. Maybe a weird mix of both.

Hannibal turned to you, watching your face carefully as you answered.

“(Y/N) speaking.” 

“How you feelin’, (Y/N)?” You hadn’t heard Jack’s happy voice in a while. You weren’t sure if this one was real or fake. So you proceeded with caution.

“I’ve been better, but I’m also doing a lot better compared to a few days ago.” 

“Good. Good...” Crawford trailed off, his mind obviously on something else. 

There was an awkward silence. You knew Jack was trying to figure out how to phrase something without stressing you out after the last couple of weeks. You knew what that something was and you appreciated the effort to try and not overwhelm you, but you didn’t like this small talk part. So you took a deep breath before kick-starting the conversation that you knew Jack was trying to ease into.

“I get the feeling that this isn’t a social call, is it, Jack?”

“No. It is not, (Y/N). We have another odd case that we could use your help with.” 

You felt your thumb subconsciously go to wiggle your ring. You knew this conversation was going to happen eventually, but even knowing that didn’t lessen the anxiety you felt. Hannibal stepped closer and took your hand in his, lightly running his thumb across your knuckles. You knew he was trying to ease your mind with the small gesture. You mouthed “Thank you” to him and smiled. 

Jack continued before you could say anything. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now. But the sooner the better.”

“How about I get back to you tomorrow afternoon?” You stated more than asked. Jack agreed to that and hung up. Hannibal could see that you weren’t stressed but you also weren’t excited. 

“I take it Agent Crawford wants to borrow your mind again?” You nod your head, going back and forth in your mind about whether or not to take him up on his offer again or let yourself rest for a bit longer. “What’s stopping you from saying yes?”

“Not much to be honest.” You look at Hannibal and see him watching you, ready to react to anything you say or do. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” 

“Could you be my partner, Hannibal?” You ask and almost fear his response. You didn’t want to be a burden. But very quickly you are met with that lovely rare smile of his. 

“It would be an honor to be your partner, in life and on a case.” You smile as you lean towards him and he meets you halfway, pecking your lips softly, his hand smoothing its way to your back. The two of you pull away and he ushers you out of the room. “After all, someone has to protect that beautiful and reckless mind of yours.” 

You shot Hannibal a look as the two of you walked to his car, ready for one more relaxing night before jumping right back into the chaos.

[shownuslaugh]

The Aftermath (Part 3)

Series: Bigbang 6th Member AU

Pairing: SJ/Jiyong

2031

           The courtroom isn’t what Jia expected at all. She thought there would be a lot of people staring at her and Dami with sad expressions on their faces and saying things like “oh you poor girls”. That’s what happened to a girl at school when her parents got divorced. She told Jia that the room was filled with strangers just dying to show how sorry they are you’re going through such a terrible thing. Jia should’ve known better than to believe the other girl. There’s only three other people besides Jia, Dami, and their parents. A judge and two lawyers.

           Dami starts pitching a fit when the judge asks her if she wants to stay with Mommy or Daddy.

           “Shh,” Jia calms her baby sister, shooting the judge a cold glare. “It’s okay Dami.”

           When the judge asks Jia the same question, she already has her answer prepared. “I want to stay with Mommy.”

           Jiyong hides his heartbreak.

           The judge scribbles something on his notepad before calling for a recess. Momentarily, Dami smiles, thinking it means she’ll get to play. She realizes differently when Taeyang and Hyorin come inside the room and practically drag her away from Jiyong. Her smile fades and she cries loud enough people all the way down the hall turn their heads.

           “Do you want to talk about what happened?” Taeyang asks her as the five of them sit down at a diner across the street. Jia, Dami, Hyungsik, Taeyang, and Hyorin snagged a corner table away from prying eyes. Jia is young, but she already knows people are desperate to hear any detail about what’s happening with her parents.

           “No,” Jia says.

           At the same time, Dami responds, “the mean man asked us to pick if we want Mommy or Daddy!”

           This starts a fresh wave of tears and Hyorin has to hold the little girl close to her chest, smothering her little red face in kisses. Dami goes from bawling to slightly whimpering in seconds.

           “I said I wanted to stay with Mommy.” Jia picks at her sandwich, not quite hungry. “I think Mommy needs us… but I don’t think she wants us right now. I’ll stay with her to remind her she can want us again.”

           Taeyang looks at his face, both of their faces alight with anger. Beneath the anger is a layer of hurt. They hurt for Jia and Dami, they hurt for Jiyong, they hurt for SJ. The whole situation has gotten so terrible and out of hand that no one knows what to do anymore. SJ moved in with Top. Top helped her detox from the alcohol, helped her get her head on straight, and the first thing she does is go to Jiyong and demand a divorce. She begged him for months. There wasn’t a day that went by where Taeyang wasn’t getting a phone call from a crying Jiyong.

           “Youngbae, I don’t know what to do anymore,” Jiyong would choke out. “She keeps telling me it’s for the best, but I can’t do it. I can’t… she’s the love of my life… we have children… I don’t know if I can make it if she leaves me.”

           He didn’t know what to say then and he certainly doesn’t know what to say now. None of it makes any sense. Why does SJ want a divorce so badly? Why is she giving up so easily? Does she not care anymore? Has she reached some sort of breaking point? The only other person who could possibly know what the hell is going through SJ’s head is Top, and he’s keeping his lips permanently sealed.

           “Hyung, I know you and SJ understand each other better than anyone else, but please for the love of God talk sense into her!” Taeyang pleaded one night when the alcohol got the better of them. It was after an extremely rough day where Jia refused to go back home to Jiyong because it didn’t ‘feel like a home’.

           “I’ve tried.”

           “Then why isn’t she with her husband?! I don’t understand!”

           “SJ needs to heal-”

           “SJ needs to rely on someone other than herself! She’s always been a selfish bitch!”

           Top looked at him with a gentle expression. “You don’t mean that. You love SJ just as much as I do.”

           “And that’s why I’m so mad at her! She’s being so fucking dumb! They hit a rough patch, so what? She should be an adult and work through her shit instead of running away from everything like she always does!”

           “You haven’t said any of this to her, have you?”

           “No.”

           “Good. Keep it like that. I’ll talk to her.”

           And some talk it must’ve been for them to all be sitting here right now. Taeyang can’t help but wonder if Top was the one to first bring up divorce. His view on love has always been skewed and SJ’s clearly emotionally vulnerable enough to be swayed. No, Top wouldn’t do that. He wanted Jiyong and SJ to have their happily ever after just as much as everyone else.

           “Youngbae,” Hyorin rips him from his thoughts with a gentle touch to his hand. “We need to get the girls back.”

           He nods. “Right. The day’s not over with yet, guys.”

           “I wish it was,” Jia tells him miserably.

           “Me too, kid.”

           While Hyorin and Taeyang took the kids out for lunch, Jiyong and SJ ate lunch together in the courthouse cafeteria.

           “Is this really it?” Jiyong asked not long after they sat down. “You’re really leaving me?”

           “Jiyong-”

           “Is there someone else? Did you meet someone and decide you love them more? OR are you going back to someone? Will I see an announcement about Siwon and Jisu’s divorce soon?”

           SJ sighed. “Do you really think they’ll be divorced?”

           “I never thought we’d be divorced, but here we are arguing over who gets custody of our daughters. Our daughters, SJ. I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

           “There’s no one else, okay? I’ll never love another person alive on this planet as much as I love you.” SJ stabbed at her salad. “I just… I can’t be with you anymore.”

           “I don’t understand.”

           “And I don’t expect you to.”

           Jiyong looked at her with so much sadness she had to shut her eyes. “Don’t you think you owe me an explanation though? You asked me to wait for you to come back, and that’s exactly what I did. Every single night I waited for you, hoping the next day would be the day you showed back up. What went so wrong in two months that you decided divorce was the only option?”

           “It won’t make sense.”

           “I don’t give a fuck.”

           SJ put down her fork, squared her shoulders, and looked him dead in the eyes. “Every single time I looked at you or the girls, every single second I spent trying to pretend it didn’t happen and we were a whole family, just reminded me more and more that I’m a failure. Not just for losing our son. I’ve come to terms with that. I’m a failure because being away from all of you is the best I’ve felt in years.”

           “What?”

           “I’m happy without you,” SJ admitted through tears. “I thought I would be miserable and my depression would get so much worse, but I’ve been fine.”

           Jiyong didn’t believe it. He’s been living his worst nightmare every day since SJ left, and she was fine. “How?”

           “I don’t know.”

           “Wait… so… w-what if that happiness goes away? What if it’s just one of these situations where you need, like, a vacation? We all get sick of vacation some time or other and want to go home.” Even to his own ears he sounded like a desperate man, but in all honesty he was beyond desperation the second SJ brought up divorce, willing to do and say anything to keep her.

           Even though she clearly doesn’t want to be kept.    

           SJ simply shrugged her shoulders. “Then I’ll have made the single worst decision of my life.”

           “And you could live with that? You could live with knowing you did something you shouldn’t have?”

           “Maybe. It depends.”

           “On what?”

           “If you’re happy.” SJ took his hand and looked at him softly. “I want you to move on, Jiyong. I want you to meet someone who will be a good stepmother for Jia and Dami… regardless of who ends up with custody.”

           Jiyong pointedly ignored the first bit of her sentence. “I told you I want joint custody.”

           “Don’t ignore what I’m telling you to do.”

           “How can I listen when you say the most idiotic things? You really think I’ll let you go so easily?”

           “You should.”

           “Then you’re a bigger idiot than I thought you were the very first time we ever met.” Jiyong stood angrily, grabbing his lunch. “The recess ends in two minutes.”

           Once they all reconvened, the judge announced his final decision. SJ and Jiyong would have joint custody; however, the girls would remain primarily with whichever parent could provide a stable home environment. In this case that was Jiyong. He kept the house after all. No one was happy with the final decision, but is anyone ever really happy in these situations? Despite her early words, SJ certainly doesn’t seem so. Every time Jiyong stole a glance at her it looked like she was crying.

           Jiyong isn’t sure what the future holds, but he’s certain it isn’t another wife.

           SJ isn’t sure what the future holds, but she’s certain there’s no use in looking back.

[londontoseoularchive]

favours, part i.

➵ characters: leeteuk x reader ➵ genre: fluff ➵ wc: 2.9k ➵ part ii

➵ summary: finding out you’d be bringing work home as one of the artists you work with is your neighbour, it’s not as a bad as you had initially thought. look at that i made my own gif ➵ masterlist ➵ disclaimer

“Hello everyone,” you bowed deeply, “my name’s Y/N and I am proud and thankful to a new member of the choreography team here.”

The room of dancers and fellow choreographers was filled with applause, smiling faces all around, as you stood there trying to hide how incredibly nervous you were as you stood next to Sanghoon and Jaewon, who too clapped.

“She will be working alongside Rino for now,” Sanghoon said in her direction, “until she finds her feet in Seoul and around the building. Let’s all be welcoming to the new girl, alright?” The overwhelming response of ‘Yes!’ was so loud you almost lost your cool but were still grateful everyone was so welcoming.

Jumping at the opportunity when you saw an opening place at an entertainment label’s choreography team, you got a call to come to Seoul for the second phase of the job application; they wanted to see you dance. You and four other people were the candidates, having to get all negative thoughts of ‘they’re going to be so much better than me’ instantly out of you head, getting into your dancing zone immediately. That phase must have been impressive enough that you were called for an intensive interview, thinking it was more nerve-wracking than the dancing portion. Despite your nerves, you proceeded well under the pressure, exuding a confident persona. Fast approaching the return date of your trip back home, you had almost lost hope, until a ring of your phone late one evening determined your upcoming future. And now, here you were.

Here you were making your way to the apartment the company had offered to place you in, amid your first year goes well and you have already settled in, running away from the pelting spring rain.

“Oof!” you didn’t anticipate the amount of strength you put into opening the front entrance to your complex’s door, somewhat stumbling, as you tried to escape the impeding rain as quickly as possible. As soon as you stood up straight again, you straightened your long overcoat, looking around if someone had seen the moment that could have been potentially more embarrassing, seeing Mikyung at his usual post as the receptionist of the building. You smiled warmly at him, bowing respectfully as he did the same, reciprocating the warm affection.

“You’ve finally started receiving some mail, Miss,” he said, pointing to your designated mailbox.

“Oh, really? It can’t be my pay check yet, I haven’t been working in Seoul for a whole month yet,” you joked, making Mikyung chuckle slightly. “Maybe my magazine subscriptions.”

“What magazines are you into?”

“Oh, just a few,” you used your appropriate key to go into it, pulling out a couple of plastic-wrapped editions. “Some dance ones for work, Vogue because it’s a classic, that popular food one for me to drool over food I’ll never get to eat.”

He laughed harder this time around. “You really like to make fun, don’t you, Miss?”

“Have to be light-hearted in such a depressing world,” your eyes were down at the magazines in your hand, looking up to Mikyung with another smile.

“I wish more people had that mentality. Not everyone can be so positive. That neighbour of yours could use some cheering up…” The last phrase he said lower than the others, making him difficult to understand.

“Hm? My neighbour?”

“Ah, don’t worry,” Mikyung quickly tried to dismiss it. “He’s usually not here anyway. Have a lovely eveving, Miss.”

“You too, Mikyung,” you waved at him as you started to walk in the direction of the lifts to take you to the floor, one of the last ones in the building. Not your choice to be up so high, the company placing you in a posh district of the city you felt slightly out of place in, but with time you’d get accustomed to.

Since arriving, other than your new co-workers, the acquaintances you have made are either the ones you met during nights out, other dancers or helpful people like Mikyung. You understood that deep friendships would only occur over a long period of time, but that first friend to at least show you around still had not been established. Even though you sighed at the fact, you were patient and willing to wait.

Once you entered the lift, you started to question what Mikyung really meant by that last comment. What about your neighbour? Introductions were still on hold as, indeed like Mikyung said, they’re barely here, and so have never seen them in these first few weeks. But now you knew it was a man. And that’s as much information you have on him so far, not thinking Mikyung meant anything by the fact he needed some ‘cheering up’.

Exiting the lift, your attention returned to the magazines in your hands, skimming through them briefly as you walked. You reached your door, but your eyes were still down, reading the headline and the small features on the cover of Vogue Korea. You hadn’t noticed how long you had stood there, your awareness drifting because when you felt a sudden but rapid touch to your shoulder, you were very shaken by it.

“Holy s…” you yelped and turned in the direction of the presence that you now felt behind you. Your scared expression turned into a perplexing one as you looked up at the face of the person, swearing that you had seen that face before.

“Do you live here?” was his first question, his voice creating more links but still not the final picture. However, as you were trying to figure out his identity you couldn’t come up with a response until after a while.

“Oh! Uh…” although the answer was obvious to you, words still did not form, your heart still trying to control itself after the jump-scare you experienced, as well as trying to decipher the person. “Yes, I live here.”

He narrowed his eyes at you as if he didn’t believe you, scanning them from your head to your toe before finally stepping back from your personal space. With a turn of his heel, he was heading back to where he came from, from your understanding to the apartment door that was open that you saw from over his shoulder. “Hey, I’m your new neighbour!” you tried to say quickly before he had disappeared.

“It’s nice to meet you,” sure didn’t seem like it as he didn’t even turn his back to say so, still walking to his door.

“Are you—” you tried to speak again but this time, it was too late, his door had already slammed and had closed you out, leaving you confused yet again.

Carefully holding the stack of Tupperware under one hand, you used the other to ring the door’s bell, hearing the traditional tone. Placing both hands under the plastic boxes again, you waited. And waited. And waited for so long that you contemplated ringing the bell again. As you shifted your hands once again to press the bell, as your finger was just about to apply the pressure upon the button, the door quickly became unlocked, making you freeze in place.

The only part of you that moved were your eyes as he made himself shown, looking at you expressionless. “Can I help you?”

“Uh…” you slowly straightened up your body. “Sorry, I don’t think we’ve introduced ourselves. My name’s Y/N, I’m your new neighbour.” You thought carefully if you should call him by the name you thought he had. “I believe you’re Le—”

“Jungsoo,” he interjected. Holy shit, it was him.

“Ah, right,” you pretended not to know exactly who he was, but you nodded regardless. You didn’t speak again, as if you were waiting for him to talk. He wasn’t talking either. “Oh! I thought I’d bring you some dinner to, maybe, you know, have this as a peace offering. We could have gotten off on a better foot—” The hot tupperwares were suddenly taken from your hands, not snatched, but still some considerable force used. Your hands jolted at the quick movement, gagging over your words. “Uh, those were just a few things I made earlier if you—”

“Is this japchae?” he asked, trying to investigate the contents of the meal boxes.

“Uh, no, there are things there to make bulgogi bibimbap, the fried egg is at the top, right at the bottom is some kimchichigae you can also have—”

“Thanks.”

Just like earlier that day, the door was slammed closed, but this time close enough that the wind blew in your face. You released the breath you held, exhaling deeply. “You can return them when you’re finished…” you said loudly enough that you thought he would hear.

With a loud sigh, you cursed inwardly. Whether your placement was strategic or pure coincidence you didn’t know. But now there’s something for you to worry about: you’re living next to one of SM Entertainment’s artists.

The following day went as normal as a normal day could have went, arriving home at the usual time of a few minutes after eight, saying hello to Mikyung once you did so and checking your mail again. This time, there were actual letters in the mailbox. Opening one as you went up the lift to your floor, you walked almost without conscience but in a path that you knew would get you to your door, reading the letter that you had received. So, when you arrived at the door, you had almost missed the plastic boxes that were at your feet, only noticing them when you looked away from the piece of paper. You crouched down to pick them up, looking at the yellow sticky note attached to it. Thank you for the dinner :), it read, the signature on it being autograph-like, barely tangible. The initials that you could make out, however, read SJ.

This made you wonder for how much longer, one, you could do without telling him who you were, and two, not seeing him at work, walking into your kitchen and placing the Tupperware boxes down on the counter. In fact, you could have sworn Sanghoon said something about a Super Junior comeback soon, but as you were working with Rino and the upcoming comebacks for the summer and fall, this wasn’t your calling. However, what were you supposed to do? Duck and hide every time you saw him coming your way? At work and at home? What if he thought you were a stalker? What if he tells everyone that too? Fuck! These senseless moments of panic were recurring, until you’d come up with a solution soon after. Just tell him. But he keeps closing the door at every encounter. Another meal, perhaps? No, the one was enough for now. Though worrying, you tried getting your mind out of it with other tasks at hand.

You had an early morning the following day, out the door by seven. Due to the fact you had earphones with music obstructing your hearing, you did not hear Jungsoo’s door open, when you had straightened your head, his sudden appearance making you jump. Again.

“God!” you exclaimed, clenching your chest and almost dropping your bag on the floor. “Don’t… don’t do—”

“Do you get scared easily?” he said with a smirk. He was dressed in somewhat relaxed clothing, tracksuit bottoms, oversized hoodie and a baseball cap, his shoes looked comfortable enough to dance in. You, on the other hand, were dressed more formally with white shirt and black slacks, a long overcoat on and shoes that were definitely not comfortable to dance in, but still possible.

“No, I—I didn’t expect to… Good morning, Jungsoo,” you finally greeted him.

“Good morning to you too,” he now smiled cheesily. This was a change of mood from that of the previous days. “Going somewhere important?”

“Um…” you scrambled to find an excuse for your outing, “yes. I am going to… work.”

“Where do you work?” was his quick follow up question.

“In a place… where I need to dress… so… important…ly…” you sound like a fucking idiot, you thought.

“Oh, right,” you both walked to the lift. “Going to the car park, I’m guessing.”

“Ah, yes!” you said exuberantly, “yes… I am.”

He gestured a hand to indicate you to enter the lift first, following suit soon after. Having began the descend to the underground floor, Jungsoo still had a question ask. “Are you nervous around me?” He figured you were jittery and hyper for one reason or another, wanting to know which it was.

“Oh, no, I—” you looked at him as he gazed back at eye level contact. “Not nervous, just trying to get my head around Seoul. And this place…” you narrowed your eyes at him to try and understand what he was getting at. “I feel perfectly fine around you.”

“Good,” he gave you an assuring smile. “New people around me usually start off nervous.”

“Around you?” you said sarcastically. “Never. You are human after all.”

“Thank you, most people don’t see it that way. The more normal you act, the more comfortable it’ll feel.”

“Oh, totally.”

Arriving at the underground floor, he allowed you to exit the lift first also. You both had to walk to the designated corner that was for your floor, even though the spaces were tightly packed together. Because there was a space free between yours and Jungsoo’s car, he was able to enter his easily. However, you had to tightly squeeze between your car and the one next to yours, who seems to have parked in such a way you could barely fit.

“Why did you park like that?” Jungsoo was quick to ask. As far as you were concerned, you were parked well enough.

“It’s not me, it’s this damn Mercedes,” you said, finally manoeuvring in a way you could get to your door without dirtying your clothes. “Mind if I go first now too?”

“Sure,” he agreed as you were able to get inside your car. And so, you were able to get on your way to work. As could Jungsoo. One and one finally came together in your head. He’s going the same way as me, isn’t he? The dread started as Jungsoo was, in fact, close behind you, in the packed road. You only knew one route to SM, for now, and figured that’d be the one he’d be taking also. Checking your review mirror after every few hundred metres, as well as at every turn possible to see if he would take them, he was still close behind. That was until he took a left at a junction. You knew you were heading the right away and you could sigh in relief. He was going somewhere else.

You were able to be more relaxed for the time being, heading to that meeting planned for eight in the morning. As it was a day full of them, and of less dancing, there wasn’t much chance you’d bump into Jungsoo. After a much-deserved break for lunch, you returned with Rino who took you to her office, her too in formal attire.

“Ugh, these shoes are killer!” she kicked her high heels off as soon as she entered, sitting down to massage her feet, noting how the discomfort did not phase you. “Are you dying in those?” she pointed at your black leathered heels.

“Eh, I’m used to it,” you dismissed the pain, your insides screaming for you to get these instruments of torture off your feet.

“Ah, trying to make a good impression, I see,” Rino smiled, leaning back on her chair. “We haven’t got much to do until three p.m., you could go over that file of rookies that Sooman possibly wants to bring into NCT soon that’s on the table outside. You can go into the dancer’s common room and review it there. It’s usually empty around this time.” When she finished, you smiled at her, doing as she asked, leaving and closing the door behind you.

You sat down at the adjacent sofa to the coffee table, seeing the pile that Rino mentioned. Sitting down you were able to take pressure off your feet slightly, parting your knees and placing your forearms on them. Flicking through the pages for a while, you became distracted when you heard the ding of the lift go off. You peered up to see a crowd of men leaving it, all of them rushing to the other side of the floor, none of them paying you any attention as their view of you was obscured by a dividing wall, but if they looked hard enough they would see you.

Which is what happened when the last man looked over his shoulder and behind him to look at the figure, being you, that was there. You recognised the outfit instantly as soon as you saw the back of it, and when the man did a doubletake to look at you again, you knew it was Jungsoo.

“Y/N?” he called out your name, your eyes widening at the revelation. You stood up as he was starting to make his way to you. But he was stopped by someone from the initial group coming back to retrieve him.

“Hey, Jungsoo,” he said placing a friendly hand on his shoulder. It was Donghae. “What are you doing?” He looked in your direction, smiling warmly at you, but you were too frozen to react. “What are you gonna do, terrorise the new girl? Come on, man.” Donghae didn’t even wait for a response when he started to pull Jungsoo back by his shoulders as he stuttered your name.

Well, you thought, fuck.

part ii.

[batchaoticcollectionnight-blog]

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Why is it the LAW that we have car insurance?? I honestly think it's stupid. Shouldn't we, as free Americans, be able to make the choice of whether or not we want insurance, and still legally drive a vehicle, as long as we have a license, at our own risk? Kind of like if you go skiing or snowboarding, you go at your own risk, you're not forced to get skiing insurance , or boarding insurance , or anything like that. I mean, think of this situation: I have no insurance, and I wreck into somebody. They have insurance, so they are covered. I don't, so I will either have to get rid of my car, or pay for repairs myself; that's the risk I took and this is how I'm paying for it, by being car less or spending tons of money on repairs. But why must we be forced by law to have it, or NO DRIVING FOR YOU says big ole' government?? This is angering me because I'm currently in college, without a car, and while I can walk to my work and school, it's still about 30-45 minutes each way to walk, and if I could get an old car for cheap, it would make my life MUCH easier and less of a hassle.""

Can i sue my car insurance company.?

I have had an car accident and made a claim through my car insurance, however they have failed to compensate me for the accident and rather than compensating me they have cancelled my policy claiming that i had provided them with incorrect information, which were genuine minor mistakes on my part, however i did not find out about any of these indiscripancies until my accident as my insurance company had not initially provided me with documents showing all the information i had provided to them to make sure everything was correct, they only provided me with the certificate. Since they didn't provide me with these details and a form to sign to say all the information is correct. Are they allowed to cancel my policy as i wouldve corrected this information if i had found out about it. And do i have any grounds to complain to the financial ombudman.""

Car Insurance agents!?

I am going out of state and plan to rent a car. I have been driving for 25 years with an excellent driving record. Do I have to have my own Libability and Collision or just Liability in order to save money and refuse the rental agents insurance?

Can my employer drop group health insurance coverage while I am pregnant?

I live in Oklahoma and I just found out that I am pregnant and my employer is considering dropping my group health insurance. Are there any laws that prevent me from being dropped? How do I continue my health insurance to cover my pregnancy?

Can I sell my own shipping insurance?

I sell products online that I make myself. So in the past it has been a pain for customers to deal with the postal service in case of damaged in shipping. So instead I would like to just offer my own shipping insurance. Then customers can deal directly with me and everything will me a lot faster and smoother. Is this legal since I am not a real insurance company? If it's not legal how do I have to word it so I can charge like $5 and handle shipping damage myself?

How to write a appeal letter for denied life insurance?

my mom passed away now the insurance company denied her life insurance policy over a form that was not filled out but we never knew about form was not told or mailed to us already went to lawyer he said i still need to write a appeal letter does anyone know how to do this???? help please

Car insurance costs for a newly qualified 18 year old?

Because of where I live I am getting a Land Rover for my first car and I was looking at either a Land Rover Defender 90 2.4 diesel or a 2nd generation Range Rover (the Range Rover P38) 2.5 diesel and i was wondering on average mow much it would cost me to insure one of these?? thanks :-)

How much will my insurance go down if i am on my dads policy ?

Hi i have just passed my test and obviously looking to get a car, i will be most probably having a friends car as he is getting a new one, its a 1.6 W reg Citroen saxo, if i have my own insurance (third party only) its around 3500.00 which is well out of my price range, if i did go on to my dads or moms policy, how much less would it be roughly, my dad lives in a nice area but did lose his licence for 3 months a few years back, my mom lives in a mediocre area but has no points and no history of any problems, i am 19 and i work as a clerical officer if that helps at all :S""

Can insurance company tell you were you can have your car fixed?

I have had a few cases were a relative has been in an auto accident and I could have fixed the car for them and done a much better job but the insurance company tells them they have to take the car to a preferred body shop for the insurance to pay. Can the insurance company actually tell people were to get their car fixed now a days? Is there a way to get the money out of the insurance company so they can take the car and have it fixed were they want the car fixed?

Hope New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88250

Hope New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88250

I might be starting a new job out of state. how do i provide health insurance for my family?

I might be starting a new job out of state. how do i provide health insurance for my family?

""Help, I need car insurance, best quote 1356 pounds?""

Help, I need car insurance, best quote 1356 pounds 9 years no claims, driving licence for 20 years, the car is a 2 lit and 5 years old Helppppppp""

""Where can I get free health insurance in San Diego,California?""

I need health insurance, but can not afford any because of bills, and paying off college. I realy have alot of health problems, but have no money to fix them, I need free health insurance fast. Please help.""

What is the cheapest health insurance I could get?

I live in Nebraska, and am a healthy 20 something year old male who does not smoke or drink. I looked on google and found quotes for like 200 bucks a month! maybe that's cheap for a lot of people, but I was wondering if you can get something for like 50 dollars a month, with a really high deductable or something. I just want coverage against major catastrophies, like if I got cancer, or heart disease or something, so I'm not financially ruined. Any ideas? a year or so ago I remember coming across some cheap plans for like 30 dollars a month, but I can't seem to find anything like that anymore. Any help here would be greatly appreciated thanks!""

Is it legal for an auto insurer to raise your rate without notification and debit that out of your account?

I reside in Texas and have auto debits monthly for my auto insurance. I just checked and they raised my rate this month without telling me and debited the new rate out of my account, but i agreed to debit monthly my rate but was on a lower rate for over 2 years and up until last month. I never got notice, is this legal? Do i have any rights to recover that extra $ they took for a new rate that i was not notified of?""

I missed my Insurance payment and my room mate wreck my Jeep do I have legal grounds to sue him?

I am a Marine Stationed at Camp Pendleton, California. About eight months ago I allowed my room mate to drive my Jeep while I was away attending pre-deployment training for Afghanistan. While there he rolled my Jeep literally down a mountain while under the influence of alcohol. Needless to say the Jeep was totalled and is Unrecoverable from the canyon were it now rests. I missed my Insurance payment by about a week because I was in the field training and didn't have access to a computer or phone. I understand that this is no excuse. Because I missed the payment my insurance company rightfully under California state law refused to pay for the totalled Jeep. Do I have legal Grounds to sue him for what I owed at that time, about 12,000.00. I have continued to make payment on the Jeep. The reason I have waited so long since the accident to purse legal action is because I was in Afghanistan on a 7 month deployment. If you have an Information please help. Thank you for your time.""

Someone crashed into me will their insurance pay for my car?

So I was going down a main street when this guy passed the stop sign. We made a police report and he took the blame but the cop wanted to blame it on me. Now the other car has insurance but it wasn't the guys car. Will their insurance still pay for mine. Some one please answer quick.

How much do you pay for your car insurance if you are insured under your parent' policy?

im 19 yrs old

Can I put car insurance in my name on my brothers car?

My brother recently got a dui and he already has sr-22 insurance. His license is going to be taken away and he lost his job because his job involoved driving a vehicle. He wont be able to pay for his insurance and car. I don't have the credit to out right buy his car from him but loan is in his name. I want to take over his payments for him cause he wont get back out of the car what he owes the bank. The bank will let him keep the car as long as the payments are made I know that, but will they allow me to put full coverage insurance on his car and drive it? I am trying to save his credit and his car from gettin takin""

Does an not guilty accident effect the insurance rate in California?

the type where the opposite side confesses of their guilt but the case goes to insurance. will next time my insurance raise or it will be unaffected?

Cheap motocycle insurance?

Ive got 1 claim and 1 conviction so finding insurance is hard enough does any one where i can find the cheapest cover for my bike its a 125cc bike and im 18 please help

Best car for cheap car insurance England?

i'm looking for an affordable car for my first one i'm a 19 year old female, i''ve checked a 2001 ford ka 1.3 and it was the second cheapest one for insurance which was 1500 the only thing putting me off is my friend had one and she said it guzzled petrol :P which i think she means it wasted petrol, the cheapest was a fiat 500 the insurance was 1300 but i really can't afford one so just want a cheap run around until i've saved up enough to buy a new one, does anyone know any affordable cars max price 1500 with cheap insurance thanks!! oh and if anyone has had a ford ka do you recommend one?""

What accounts affected by liability insurance?

What accounts affected by liability insurance?

Looking for an insurance that will take my pre existing condition?

Hi, I have a double ureter in my left kidney causing me infection 4 times a year, I've been having this for almost 13 years and is painful and I can't have a normal life. No insurance wants to take me because this pre existing condition and if they do my monthly payment is between $300 to $400 monthly because of my condition, I've already applied for Medi-cal and I wasnt elegible. I tried so many antibiotics and I want to start a treatment and without insurance it is impossible, could anybody tell me if there is a insurance that will accept me without paying so much. I live in Southern California. I want a normal life. Thanks.""

Will one accident and citation make ur car insurance go up?If so how much?

Im a 23 yr old guy and ive only been insured for a month, will my insurance rate go up immediantly?If so,how much?""

""Insured vehicle in NY, and registered in CA, Is that legal?""

I have lived in NY all my life untill 2 months ago when i moved to CA. Now I'm looking to get a second truck for transportation. My current and only car is still registered and insured in NY state, what will happen when if i buy this and want to add this for my second vehicle on my current insurance? Will registering it in CA and have insurance on it in NY work? thanks.""

""Does anyone know an insurance company that insures parts of the body i.e. hands, legs, etc?""

I've always said that people that use certain parts of their body to make a living should get that part insured. I've been looking for companies that do that but can't seem to find any. I know celebrities do it, but commoners should be able to also.""

When does car insurance take effect?

so i have car insurance on 3 cars now the third one i asked to be insured like 2 or three weeks ago is my car insuraed from the day i call and get insurance on it or wat plz ten points

Recommended Car Insurance Coverage?

I'm 18 years old and have to buy car insurance for the firsr time on my one. I don't know what level of insurance to get... what's the recommended car insurance coverage amounts?

Anyone know any sites I can go to to get life insurance and car insurance quotes? I don't want to give my?

phone number to any company because they hound you forever, I just don't need all the phone calls and presser.""

""WHY the hell is motorcycle insurance SOO expensive in Ontario, Canada?""

I took identical information and filled out a progressive quote for both DETROIT and LOSANGELES and both are 2356 FULL coverage (im 16 years old with zzr600), While when i got a quote from TD Bank they said 6000$ what the f u c k my damn bike doesnt even cost that much got damn it.""

How much is the average insurance cost for a new driver?

Hi in 3 months, my daughter is getting her drivers license. I just want to know the average cost to insure my daughter. I have a great insurance company, but I am sure they would be too expensive for a new driver. My daughter has all A grades in high school, but I dont know any more information that would change the price. We have a Honda Minivan, so she would drive that, not a fancy sports car. Thanks!""

What is car insurance for a first time driver?

Okay i am 18 and have never had my license before and am going to be getting it at the end of this month...soon we are going to start getting insurace quotes for my car, we have been talking about what would be the best way to go about getting the cheapest insurance...so would it be best to put the car in my name but then just be added to my parents insurance and have me as the primary driver OR would it make a difference if we put the car in one of my parents name and then had me listed as the secondary driver for the car ? OR maybe you know a better way to go about this please give me all the advice you know about this! thanks""

Cost of liability insurance for medical doctor?

What's the average cost for a private physician's liability insurance? What tips and advice do you have for someone starting a private practice?

Car Insurance - Excess and Premiums after a bump?

I am asking this on behalf of someone else, not sure which ins company with but the scenario is- reversed out of a space and made a dent in this guys car- swap details and he has rung to say cost for repairs will be 500 quid. IT IS going through on insurance so we know its all legit and he cant mess us about. The excess on the car ins policy is 500 and the claim is for about 500. Will the insurance company just bill me that? As they will be paying the full amount of the claim, will it affect the premiums alot? (20 yr old male, pass less than a year!)""

Hope New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88250

Hope New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88250

If someone hits me do I file a claim with his insurance company or mine?

on new years eve a man backed into my car, I'm kind of behind and starting to finally get on it, when we called state farm (my company) they said it would make our rates go up because we were filing with them, do I have to call his insurance company or mine? and is there a certain amount of time i have to file a claim?""

Motorbike insurance for a 17 year old?

hey so i was wandering i havent got a full liscence uet but am planning on doing it soon and was just wandering how much insurance would be for a Kawasaki ninja 250R i no there are other factors but just on average for someone of my age or if my dad who has a full bike liscence for a long time was to insure it and have me as named rider?

""Attention young driver's, where did you get insurance from?""

My 17th is coming up soon and I really want to be able to drive however every time I look for insurance the cheapest ones I can get are in excess of 2500 at least! Also are there any cars or small hatchbacks that are best to insure, keep and drive in your opinion???? Is it best to get my own car and have my parents as named drivers or the other way round? Thanks! :)""

Looking for supplemental health insurance?

my mom currenlty has health insurance through her job, but of course, the health insurance company does not pay for everything of which some of the things her doctors really thinks she needs. Are there any companies that offer resonable supplemental health insurance to help pay for copays, shots, medications, etc., that her current health provider wont pay for? Also, are there any that will accept pre exisiting conditions, or do you have to be perfectly healthy to be eligible. Please help............""

Best insurance company for a 16 year old driving a v6 or v8 camaro?

best insurance company for a 16 year old driving a v6 or v8 camaro? my thought is that while a v6 camaro might be reasonable to insure a 16 year old driver with, the v8 wouldbe some unuearthly figure in the 8 digits. i know its based on SO many things, but im just asking if anyone has a HUNCH about what insurance company is the best/cheapest for a teen driving a camaro? assume its a v8, ad it cant get any worse if it ended up being a v6, if you know what i mean. btw dont say american faimily. they wont even insure a person with less than 5 years driving experience driving a v8 camaro AT ALL, let alone at a huge rate. finally, do you think there is any way on earth for insurance for a 16year old driving a (2000 lets just say for example) camaro v8? including all the little bonuses like good grades, clean record, etc. all of which i have. thanks so much for your answers! they REALLY help!""

""Motorcycle questions? Good old, cheap and cool bike? Insurance?""

Im looking at buying a motorcycle! :) I dont need one that is too quick, I just learned how to drive one and I loved it. I want to get one for the summer. I dont want to pay over 1500, and it doesnt need to be too fast. (what is the 2002 honda civic of motorcycles?) I just want it to be kind of cool looking. I saw a 1985 honda (with the wing on it?) that looked really cool. Im 17, and I want to get one that will only be insured for the summer. For one with a small engine, what is the insurance cost? I know it varies, but does anyone have any ideas? Thanks Matt""

What is homeowners insurance declaration page?

im getting a loan but im not sure what a home owner's insurance is

How much does motorcycle insurance cost?

How much does insurance for motorcycle cost? Whats the average? Is it monthly?

Car insurance renewal ques?

i have car insurance with admiral and its going to be automatically renewed tomorow at 17:30 so can i cancel before that, am i within rights or will they charge before that? the reason being i have found a much cheaper quote else where, i paid admiral for the car insurance using debit card so will payment be taken same day tomorow on renewal date?""

""How much is insurance going to cost me, 18 and driving a Nissan altima?

How much will it cost to insure myself at this age?

Will my car insurance be able to transfer over to another car without extra fees?

My mother-n-law has an extra car that she doesn't have insurance on because she doesn't drive it shes letting me use it for a month. If i get my own policy and pay the 6 month premium in full and add that car to it when I take that car off after i give it back to her will i have a credit that I can transfer over to my car when i get one in a couple months without paying anything extra?

Is Arizona's new law racial profiling against persons without driver's licenses and automobile insurance?

Is Arizona's new law racial profiling against persons without driver's licenses and automobile insurance?

""Spouse suspended license, live together, can I get auto insurance?""

Actually, it is my son in law who has a suspended license. My Daughter's policy was canceled and she wants to start a new policy, but she says that no insurance company will touch her because she lives with someone with a suspended license. Is this for real? Sound like a bunch of hog-wash to me. She lives in Massachusetts.""

How long will my insurance quote last for?

I got a quote for 2184 on a car, but i haven't the car as of now, soon to get this week, no doubt the insurance will rise over the week so im wondering if my 2184 quote will expire straight away or i have a month or so to claim that 2184 insurance quote. Using Money Super Market.""

Car insurance?

how much would it cost to insure a car. if the driver was sixteen. it wouldnt be a fast car. so how much for third party insurance. and how much to get my car insured

How would would car insurance be for a new driver in Rhode Island?

The car i'm getting is a pontiac grand prix, its older like 94 I think. I got my licence a few months ago, but i'm 20 years old. I haven't taken any driving classes or anything like that though. I'm just wondering if anyone knows about how much it would be so I know beforehand.""

Do you have to be a licensed insurance agent to do this?

Do you have to be a licensed insurance agent to quote Medicare Supplement rates in Texas? Please cite a source of your information.

When should I buy insurance?

I want to buy a used car from a dealer. So can I drive the car home, and then buy insurance? Or I should buy the car and insurance at the same time? First time to buy a car.""

What is a good place to get insurance for my Dell laptop?

I am studying abroad for 5 weeks and would like an affordable insurance plan for my laptop.

What is the best affordable Health Insurance in Las Vegas I'm 24 and don't have any medical conditions ?

What is the best affordable Health Insurance in Las Vegas I'm 24 and don't have any medical conditions ?

Homework / car insurance question?

I have to do a budget for the next 5 years of my life and im lost on how to get the car insurance part figured out. I have to figure out hom much i would be paying for car insurance if i was to buy a car in the future? can someone please help, i'm so lost. and plz dont just give me a website to go to, plz explain it a little. thanks""

Do I need insurance to drive anothers' car?

Someone is telling me that I cannot drive another persons car unless I have insurance. I do not own a car, but I do have a driver's license so what insurance am I suppose to have? or are they just pulling my leg?. And yes I am waaay over 21.""

When you first get your drivers permit do you have to have car insurance to drive with adults?

When you first get your drivers permit do you have to have car insurance to drive with adults? Or are you automatically covered by theirs?

How can i find a good health insurance company?

I have health insurance right now and i just got a HUGE bill in the mail for what the health insurance did not cover. HELP are all insurance companies out to screw you!? I am sooo frustrated! I am a young person barely making ends meet

Red camoro or mustang or white effect car insurance (boy)?

Hello I am driving in a few months. I am getting a 2011 chevy camaro 2lt or a ford mustang gt. does the color of the car effect the price of the car insurance. I do know being a boy I will have to pay higher insurance. But red is my favorite color. If I get a red camaro or mustang will insurance be higher than getting a white or yellow mustang or camaor. And what is better for everyday driving and safety. and features. and what is best for the money the Camaro or mustang. and trim wise to. camaro 1LT or 2LT or Mustang GT or V6Premium???? help

Hope New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88250

Hope New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88250

Voluntary excess and insurance?

if getting insurance what is a voluntary excess ? should you select to pay a high amount, like 500 so you can get the cheapest insurance?""

Insurance Premium?

My partner has had 2 car crashes within 2/3 months, which were both his fault. Will his insurance premium go up alot?""

Average house insurance in Canada?

What is the average amount of money you pay in house insurance in Canada? It would be nice if you have a site link, because this is for a school project. Also, how much do ...show more""

49cc scooter insurance? license? im 16 in Alaska?

what do i need to drive a 49cc scooter in Alaska? i am 16 and have a instructional/ learners permit only. also how much will minimal insurance cost? thanks! :)

Car insurance for an 18 year old?

I was thinking about buying something like this: http://www4.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201136414321909/sort/priceasc/usedcars/price-to/1000/model/corsa/make/vauxhall/postcode/hp100bg/page/1/radius/10?logcode=p (it's a 1996 1.2 Corsa LS), would I be able to get cheap(er) insurance if I asked to go on my dad's insurance (with Direct Line)?""

Car insurance confusion?

Ok, I'm 17 and I just moved to Florida with my 18-year-old boyfriend. He just got his license suspended so in a few days I'm going to get my first license here in Florida because I have a job to get to. (I've had my NC learner's permit for over a year) My question is basically, what are my options for car insurance? Can I have my own policy or is my only option to be put on his insurance? Please help!""

Do you get cheaper insurance for older cars or new cars?

Do you get cheaper insurance for older cars or new cars?

Do you think car insurance should be mandatory in all of the United States?

I live in Wisconsin. Car insurance is not required for cars trucks and anything else on the road. I think this is wrong with medical and car repair bills being so expensive these days. Worst part about it is some of these non insured people drive like lunatics and if they do hit you they have nothing to even sue them for. I think it's disgusting.

Average cost of insurance and registration in Utah?

My husband and I are looking into getting two different vehicles and I am just trying to get an estimate on how much its going to cost to register them and how much I may need up front for insurance. I am 24 years old, my husband is 23 and a former truck driver. The two cars are a 1996 grand caravan (red if needed) and a 1980 Chevette (black if needed). I do not know mileage yet for either one.""

Is this a new car insurance con?

Just tried to get car insurance through that confusing website. We chose the cheapest one and when we went to pay for it, the swines said error phone this number bla bla bla . So we phone up and they add another 35 onto the quoted price. Of course we said on your nelly . Is this a typical con? Have you experienced that?""

Who knows the cheapest insurance in jesey for a 19 year old dude?

hey, my pal wants to get an insurance for my car cuz i can't my self, (police reasons) we want an insurance with the lowest price, lowest of all, i don't even care if it covers me well or whatever cuz if something happens to the car i will just use the other, it is just to register it, i got 2 cars, they the same but only one of them is gonna be register, so if u know anything about insurance with a low price or not nessesary legally but that can let me register it let me know (chevy lumina 97)""

Can Switching To Geico Really Save You 15% Or More On Car Insurance? Is it the cheapest?

Can Switching To Geico Really Save You 15% Or More On Car Insurance? Is it the cheapest?

What car insurance company has the policy that you insure on person but anyone can drive it and be insured?

What car insurance company has the policy that you insure on person but anyone can drive it and be insured?

Do car insurance quotes go up daily?

I am being quoted much more now than a fortnight ago

HELP! Do I need car insurance if I don't own a car and don't drive much in the state of Florida?

I am 16 years old and State Farm is calling me and it is getting annoying. I don't own a car and I don't drive much. When I do drive I borrow the car that is under my sister's name. My parent's don't drive. My dad's license is expired and he doesn't drive anymore, and my mom doesn't know how to drive at all. I keep hearing conflicting things, some say that it is a law in the state of Florida (where I live) that anyone with a license needs to have insurance, while others say that it is not necessary to have insurance if you don't own a vehicle and don't drive much. My question is: Do I need car insurance in the state of Florida if I do not own a car and don't drive much? Thanks!""

I'm trying to get life insurance for myself and my son. what company offer best benefit?

where from los angeles, ca. i never smoke...don't drink alcohol.. and what things that i should know for getting life insurance? and what is the best coverage? advice pls?""

300cc Moped Insurance...about how much would that cost?

I know lots of factors go into calculating insurance costs, but about how much do you think insurance for a 300cc moped would cost per year or per month? Thanks.""

""Why is it cheaper to add another person to your car insurance, shouldn't it cost more?""

I am going to add my boyfriend to my car insurance and it is going to be cheaper, (not that I am complaining any) but wouldn't it make sense to charge more? So why is it cheaper to add another person to car insurance.""

Where can i get cheap car insurance?

iv found a car ita a puegout 206 n its 2002, 50000 miles n its a 1.1. i expected the insurance to be cheap but everywhere i look i keep getting insurance quotes which are around 2000 quid im like what the hell!!! so does anyone know anywhere tht gives gd qoutes???""

Cancelling car insurance?

I currently have car insurance through State Farm and I pay $318 a month. I looked into 21 Century insurance and the quote says I will be paying about $180 a month. My current insurance expires June 11th but my next bill is due May 25th. How do I go about buying/cancelling insurance? I would like to cancel State Farm by May 20th and begin my new insurance that day so I won't have to pay those crazy premiums anymore.

Car Insurance?

Hi I have just passed my test, and was thinking about getting a car. i was wondering how much (roughly) the insurance will be, with a standard car, most probably not new, for a 17-18 year old in the UK thanks""

Young drivers car insurance!!?

I am 17 at the moment but planning on getting the insurance when i turned 18 at the end of this month to make it that bit cheaper, I already own a Renault Clio (1.2L, 16v, 02 plate). The cheapest quote ive got is 4,000 (300 a month) and that's with co-ops new fit smartbox for young drivers, and i also have my dad as an additional driver and my mum on it with her provisional licence and I really just cant afford that price, any ideas on what i could possibly do?""

What's the cheapest car insurance company?

What's the cheapest car insurance company?

Ex-friend was using my car insurance for 2 years without consent?

While looking for a new car and insurance (I am on my mothers insurance) i discovered that an ex-boyfriend has been using my last name and claiming i was his husband to get car insurance. The policy was expired last year but he had multiple car accidents. Now my name is somehow connected to his in the car insurance world and I cant get insurance at a decent price. Can I charge him with a crime? How do I get him off my records? Any suggestions?

What happens if someone who doesn't have car insurance hits a BMW?

Someone without car insurance hit my car. Luckily it won't cost much but just say they had hit an expensive car and actually wrote it off, how would they pay for that?""

Hope New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88250

Hope New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88250

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/which-state-united-states-car-insurance-required-wayne-armstrong/"

[megalony]

Teacher’s pet- Part 21

This is the latest part of my dad! Ben Hardy series, I’m planning one more part of this series and then a follow-on series. I hope you will all like it, thank you for the lovely feedback, comments are always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogermeddow​ @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez​ @jonesyaddiction​ @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @crazylittlethingg​ @allauraleigh​ @ceres27

Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish​​ @gwilymleeisbae​​ @k-k0129​​ @haileymorelikestupid​​ @glittrixvibe @youngpastafanmug​​ @ultraviolencezs​ @kdatthecastle​ @darlindolan​​

Series masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) teaches at the school Ben’s boys go to and they soon start a relationship. But they have their ups and downs with the problems Ben faces with his boys and how quickly the relationship progresses.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Carter told me she was pretty, I think he was being modest." A tentative, gentle smile pulled at the edges of Gwilym's lips as he stood just inside the doorway of the neonatal room.

The teacher ruffled his hand through his curls, brushing them from overlapping on his rounded glasses that were perched neatly on his nose. He slowly moved his hands into his jean pockets as he leaned his shoulder against the wall behind him. When he had seen Carter at school, the eldest boy had been talking about seeing his sister and he kept repeating how tiny and slightly weird-looking she was. But he did repeatedly tell Gwilym just how pretty his sister was, although Gwilym knew the little newborn was sweeter and prettier than he had first thought.

"Yeah... she doesn't get that from me." A lopsided smile came onto Ben's features but it was overshadowed by the exhaustion clearly shown on his face. His eyes were red-rimmed with dark circles underneath them and his pupils were bleak and strained.

Constantly switching between home and the hospital everyday and worrying too much to sleep was taking a toll on Ben and it was clear to anyone who looked at him. But he was trying and he could do little else right now.

"So, how's she doing?"

It felt nerve-wrecking for Gwilym to approach Ben, he didn't want to feel like he was intruding on personal space or being around when he wasn't wanted. But when he stood beside Ben, he could feel a wave of calm washing over them both when their eyes were both staring down at the newborn in front of them. The little girl was fast asleep with one of her mitten-clad hands pressed against her button nose like she had fallen asleep in the middle of scratching her nose.

Ben and Gwilym had known each other for years, they had been through a lot together and during the period where Ben had to go to court against Lucy, Gwilym had been there through it all.

But this was different.

Gwilym had never seen Ben in a situation where he was close to losing someone dear to him. He had never witnessed Ben where he was worried about turning up to the hospital and finding his partner had passed away or gotten worse whilst he wasn't there. And when Ben was here with (Y/n), he was still worrying that something was going to happen or go wrong and she was going to get worse. (Y/n) was part of Ben's world now, she meant everything to him just like his boys and now his daughter. Losing any one of them would crush Ben to pieces and he didn't like how close he had come so far to losing (Y/n).

"She's doing great, another week or so and I can take her home." Ben leaned his hip against the incubator as he stared down adoringly at his little girl. He was desperate to get her home and out of this incubator so she could be cuddled and fed and washed and dressed properly. He wanted her to sleep in her cot and be surrounded by her family and just held and nutured rather than being kept cooped up in here like she was still in the womb waiting to be born.

But at the same time, Ben didn't want to take her home if (Y/n) wasn't going to be there with him. He couldn't look after a newborn as well as three young boys on his own. And if Ben did take her home without (Y/n), he would be doing everything without her, (Y/n) wouldn't be there to put their daughter in her cot for the first time. She wouldn't be there to wash her or dress her or get her up during the night. She would miss out on everything and Ben didn't want to do any of this on his own, he'd done that with all his boys, it had to be different with his daughter.

"It... it doesn't feel like a week since she was born, you know? It's like, two hours ago I was holding (Y/n) and she was born. A whole week and (Y/n) hasn't even seen her yet."

It hurt and scared Ben to think that it had been seven days since his daughter had been born. Seven whole days and she and (Y/n) were still cooped up in the hospital, when he had the boys three days was the longest they had been in hospital before coming home. And (Y/n) hadn't even set eyes on her baby yet, nor did they have a name or even a birth certificate for her. It was like time inside the hospital had completely stopped but when Ben left, time raced past him without his consent.

"I know, it barely feels like a year since you were both starting to go out together. Why don't we go visit (Y/n), I haven't seen her yet." Gwilym rested his hand on Ben's shoulder, his eyes lingering on the newborn in front of him before he looked at Ben.

When (Y/n) went into labour, the last time Gwilym had seen her was when he helped her get into the car and whispered that she would be fine. Since then he hadn't visited (Y/n), he still had to go to work and with how ill she had been, he didn't want to intrude. (Y/n) needed her family around her and as much as Gwilym thought of her as his family, he wasn't immediate family and therefore decided it was better to simply get updates from Ben. But it had been a week now and Gwilym wanted to see her and see how she was.

Ben took a deep breath before he nodded in agreement. He had held his daughter this morning and spent the morning here with her, it was about time he went down to see (Y/n).

Moving his hand, Ben slipped his hand into the incubator and gently brushed his finger against his girl's cheek, smiling down at her before he and Gwilym turned and left the room of sleeping newborns.

A comfortable silence enveloped the pair as they walked down the halls to reach (Y/n)'s ward, but a look of fright took over Ben's face when he looked towards (Y/n)'s room. Doctor Mills was stood outside her room with another doctor that Ben didn't recognise. The doctor was never normally here at this time, for the past few days he visited (Y/n) early in the morning and later on in the afternoon and if he didn't visit then it was just a nurse. No one should be here right now.

"Doctor Mills, is everything okay?" Ben's voice was packed with nerves but there was a sense of apprehension in his voice. He didn't know what the doctor was going to say or if anything was wrong with (Y/n) and Ben couldn't take any more bad news or set backs right now.

When they approached the room, Ben leaned to try and look into (Y/n)'s room and catch a glimpse of her but all he could manage to see was two nurses in the room with her. If they were in there with (Y/n) and there were two doctors talking about her outside, something was clearly going on.

"Ben, good I was just about to call you."

"Is she okay?" The panic was clear in Ben's voice but there was anger in his eyes. (Y/n) had been through enough, Ben didn't know how much more she could take.

"I came to check on her this morning and she's improved, we've been running tests and (Y/n)'s lungs have improved enough for her to breathe on her own without the ventilator. We're about to take her off the ventilator now, I was going to call so you could be here when we do that."

Doctor Mills had told Ben yesterday that (Y/n) seemed to be getting stronger but they couldn't take her off the sedatives because she was still weak and would panic about the ventilator. But to know they were going to try and get her to breathe on her own brought tears to Ben's eyes because it meant she was actually recovering. Once she could breathe on her own she should start to eat and drink and get better enough to go home if the sepsis didn't develop any worse.

"You- you mean it? What about the sepsis?"

"Her infection has cleared up and the sepsis is finally starting to receed as well. We have to keep her on antibiotics for another week or so just to be on the safe side and it will take a few weeks for her to fully recover. But if all goes well, she won't have to be in hospital for much longer."

Gwilym reached over and patted Ben's shoulder when he saw the tears forming in his friend's eyes. Ben had been so deaperate to hear news like this but he didn't think it would ever come. (Y/n) still didn't look well and none of the doctors could give Ben an answer as to if she might recover soon or if she was getting worse or not. To finally be told that (Y/n) was starting to get better and her recovery was now going to start, made Ben elated because he could finally stop worrying that he was getting close to losing her.

"Thank you." Ben ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands as he tried to catch his own breath. He couldn't believe it, (Y/n) would be able to talk and be awake and look at him properly in a couple of hours instead of being sedated every single day.

"I took her off the sedatives this morning so she will be awake and responsive when we remove the ventilator but I think you should be in the room to keep her calm so we can remove the tube and check her vitals. There is a chance she won't respond or breathe very well without the ventilator so we have to see how it goes."

"She'll be fine, she's a fighter." Gwilym spoke quietly to Ben, smiling encouragingly to him before he moved to stand by the window. There couldn't be too many people in the room and Gwilym knew he wouldn't be of much use but he didn't want to go home, he had to know how (Y/n) got on. And if he stayed out here then at least he could watch the situation and possibly talk to (Y/n) if everything went okay.

Ben nodded with a fearful smile before he headed into the room when Doctor Mills motioned for him to go first.

The moment Ben entered the room, his eyes locked with (Y/n)'s and it was as if someone had struck a match up in his heart. He could feel his body tensing and growing hotter as his heart started to hammer away in his chest. (Y/n)'s eyes were full of so many emotions, there was surprise, fear, pain but there was such a sparkle in her tired eyes that made Ben smile. He couldn't remember the last time he looked into her eyes.

"Baby, oh baby you're awake." Ben breathed through his words and when he stood beside (Y/n) he could feel her hand immediately reaching out for his. He interlocked their fingers together and brushed his free hand through her hair slowly and methodically to try and calm her down.

He could see the panic in her eyes, it was clear she hadn't been conscious for very long and she was typically going to be scared and confused. She didn't know how long she had been sedated for or what was happening and the fact that there was a tube stuck down her throat was clearly scaring the living daylights out of her. Ben had to calm her down so that they could help her and remove the tube so she could breathe on her own.

"Shh, you're okay, baby everything's gonna be just fine. The doctor's here to help you."

"Okay (Y/n), we understand this is confusing and worrying for you but you are doing very well. This tube is to help you breathe but I can remove it now, it's going to be uncomfortable but please try and stay still, it will only take a few seconds."

Ben kept running his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair before he bent over more so he could be closer to her. He could feel her hand tensing and holding his hand tighter and her eyes were starting to water. Ben hated how panicked and frail she looked because she didn't understand what was going on but she was doing well not to panic or sob or even lash out from confusion and pain.

"Right, let's turn the ventilator off." Doctor Mills looked to the nurse behind him who nodded before turning off the machine which would give them chance to see if (Y/n) was still able to breathe first. Even with the tube down her throat.

The exact moment the oxygen stopped pushing into her lungs, it was as if (Y/n) had been given an electric shock. Her chest jolted before her lungs started to work but it was distressing.

(Y/n) could feel the tube down her throat, every time her muscles constricted or tightened they pressed on the tube and each time it sent a shock through her system. She felt like she was choking and being suffocated even though she could breathe around the tube. All (Y/n) wanted to do was either to pass out or press a magic button and have everything go back to the way that it should be. This wasn't how things were meant to work out.

"(Y/n), I'm going to remove the tube now, just try and hold still for me."

Doctor Mills locked eyes with Ben before he moved to unclip the tube and when he started to remove it Ben moved his hands to gently push (Y/n)'s shoulders and chest back onto the bed. She couldn't try and sit up or bend her neck whilst the tube was being removed even though it was clearly hurting and scaring her. The gagging sounds that (Y/n) made sent Ben's stomach reeling and the moment the tube was free a strangled sound left her lips before she started to cough.

She no longer had the feeling of air being forced into her chest, she was back to breathing on her own and her throat felt dry and scratched.

Doctor Mills moved the small piece of plastic in (Y/n)'s lips that kept the tube stable in her mouth and her jaw clearly hurt the moment she tried to move it and press her lips together.

"Well done, it's going to hurt for a few minutes but just try and breathe normally, I'm going to check your lungs and if all your vitals seem okay we can leave you and Ben alone for a little while." Doctor Mills pressed his stethoscope to (Y/n)'s chest to listen to her lungs as she tried to take deep breaths. "Good, you're lungs are holding up enough that I don't even think you need any extra oxygen. I'll come back and check on you in a little while, if you need anything just press the button."

The moment the doctor and nurses left the room, Ben leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of (Y/n)'s head.

There had been a small part of him that worried that (Y/n)'s lungs would give out or not be strong enough yet after one collapsed and the sepsis had taken a big toll on her. But to see her breathing on her own and actually awake and recovering like this made Ben's heart soar.

"Thank fuck... baby you didn't half scare me back then. I thought I was gonna lose you."

Ben crouched down beside the bed, his hand smoothing over her cheek as his other arm moved to rest over her stomach. He was desperate to cling to her, to pick her up and hug her and hold her to his chest like he wanted to fit her into his heart. But he couldn't do that just yet, she had only just woken up and was still in bad shape.

He didn't bother to wipe away the tears of relief falling from his eyes that moved to watch (Y/n)'s lips when she mumbled something that he couldn't make out.

"What, baby?"

"E-Ella... where's Ella?" (Y/n)'s voice was hoarse and very quiet like she had been crying rather than having not used her voice for almost five days now. But Ben heard and worked out what she was saying and after a brief second, realisation hit him.

She wanted to call their daughter Ella.

"She's in the neonatal unit, oh baby she's beautiful... they let me hold her, she's only four pounds. You can see her soon, and the boys are so fucking desperate to come see you. I love you so much, please don't scare me like that again."

Ben couldn't waste anymore time, he moved before his mind could comprehend what he was doing and he pressed his lips to hers. He could feel that (Y/n)'s lips were slightly chapped like he expected but when her hand moved to cup his cheek he nearly burst out crying. Nothing compared to how nearly losing (Y/n) made him feel, not even the way he felt when Lucy broke his heart and his mind. He needed (Y/n) more than he ever thought he would and that scared him more than anything.

He couldn't let her go, he loved her far too much.

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"Boys, remember what we said?" Ben ran his hand over James' hair, ruffling the strands as his eyes darted between his boys.

Carter was switching between bouncing off the walls with excitement and scratching his hands from anxiety. He was finally able to see (Y/n) after just over a week without her and that made his adrenaline go sky high but at the same time, he knew that she wasn't well and that made him anxious in case she really didn't look well when he saw her.

James was holding Ben's free hand swinging their hands between them as he looked around the halls, having rarely been into a hospital. He just wanted to go and see (Y/n). And Finn was perched on Ben's hip, nervous about being in a hospital but excited because he had missed (Y/n) more than anyone thought he would over this past week. Every day he had asked Ben if she was okay and when he would see her again.

"Yep, mum is still poorly so we can't stay long in case she gets tired and not to be upset if she doesn't look well." Carter's voice was hyper and he held his head up to show and prove that he had been listening and had done well to remember what Ben had said.

"We can give mum a hug but we have to be careful." James added quietly, looking up at Ben when they all stopped in front of the room he guessed was (Y/n)'s.

"Alright, let's go see her." Ben let go of James' hand so he could open the door before both Carter and James nudged him out the way and barged passed so they could get to (Y/n).

"Mum!"

(Y/n) felt her breath hitching in her throat when she saw all four of her boys coming into the room. She moved her arms out but she wasn't quite ready for the impact of Carter and James who both went to one of her sides before launching themselves at her. Admittedly, James was more cautious, he wrapped his arms loosely around her middle and huddled under her arm. He rested his head on her shoulder, gazing up at her with a smile.

Whereas Carter was a bit more heavy handed, wrapping one arm around her neck and the other around her middle before he buried his face into her neck, clinging to her like he thought she was going to disappear.

"Boys! Be careful with your mum." Ben scolded, shaking his head at them with raised brows. He had told them two minutes ago to be careful and then they run in and shake her and attach to her like a leech. (Y/n) was breathing on her own now but her lungs were still weak and she was going to have a long recovery. The boys couldn't be rough with her no matter how much they had missed her.

"We missed you."

(Y/n) could feel tears welling up in her eyes when James spoke, looking up at her like she was the only thing in the world worth looking at; he definitely took after Ben. She smoothed down his hair before pressing a kiss to his temple. Even though she had been mostly sedated during the last few days, it had still felt weird when she woke not to have the boys surrounding her.

"When are you coming home? It's not right without you." Carter pulled back enough so that he could climb up onto the bed and sit as close to (Y/n)'s side as he could. Grabbing her arm and making sure it was still wrapped around his side so he could still be close to her. Even though they had just moved house Carter was starting to think of it as his home but he couldn't fully do that without (Y/n) there. Nowhere was going to be right if she wasn't there with them and he wanted her back home now.

"I should be able to come home in a few days, honey. It won't be much longer I promise." (Y/n) looked between Carter and Ben who sat down on the end of the bed with Finn on his lap.

(Y/n) didn't feel great, yesterday it had taken a few hours for her to fully wake up and feel able to talk and breathe normally. And the painkillers and antibiotics were making her drowsy, doctor Mills said she would be moving very slow, her chest was going to hurt and her breathing would be uneven for a while. And she had to get back into eating properly since she had been on nutrients and drips for a week.

When they knew for sure that her sepsis had gone and she had no other immediate issues she would be able to recover at home with her family which is what they all wanted.

"Is your tummy better now?" Finn slowly crawled from Ben's lap and moved up near James so he could be closer to (Y/n). He reached out and slowly patted her stomach and (Y/n) could see the intrigue in his eyes. The last time Finn had seen her he remembered her stomach being very round, now it was almost back to how it used to look.

The easiest way for Ben to explain it to Finn was to say that the baby was born but (Y/n) wasn't very well, she had a poorly stomach and a bad chest and Finn seemed to understand that.

"A lot better now, sweetheart, have you seen your sister yet?"

"Baby sister is very pretty, daddy said she looks like you."

(Y/n) drifted her eyes from Finn up to Ben as a smile formed on her lips. She knew Ben had held Ella the other day and this morning since (Y/n) was feeling better she had managed to see and hold Ella for the first time. The picture Ben had taken of his girls was one that he was definitely going to get printed because so far, it was the only good memory of this event.

The first week of Ella's life had been traumatic and distressing for them all, now it could start to be wonderful like it should be.

[megalony]

Teacher’s pet- Part 20

So I have about two more parts planned for this Ben Hardy series but I am going to be doing a follow-on series because I love this story and still feel I have more to write for it. I hope you will all like this part, feedback is always lovely to hear.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogermeddow​ @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish​ @gwilymleeisbae​ @k-k0129​ @haileymorelikestupid​ @glittrixvibe @youngpastafanmug​ @ultraviolencezs @kdatthecastle @darlindolan​

Series masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) teaches at the school Ben’s boys go to and they soon start a relationship. But they have their ups and downs with the problems Ben faces with his boys and how quickly the relationship progresses.

Enjoy.

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"I'm gonna go and see our baby girl now, they said I can finally hold her today."

Ben's fingers slowly and methodically carded through (Y/n)'s hair, moving the strands into waves and brushing them from her face as he talked quietly in a soft voice. He didn't know if (Y/n) could hear him or not, she was sedated but he knew that some people in comas could still hear voices around them so he hoped that even though (Y/n) was asleep, she could hear his voice.

He had spent most of the morning here with (Y/n), holding her hand, brushing his fingers over her skin to try and show her he was still here and talking to her in case she was listening. But now he had to go and see their daughter before he went home to the boys.

Every time he left (Y/n) here he felt guilty and in pain because something could happen when he left and he didn't want anything to happen when he wasn't here. And if felt awful to leave (Y/n) here on her own and he didn't like being apart from her, but he had to go and be with the boys until everything settled and he could bring (Y/n) home.

"I'll be back tomorrow, baby." He pressed his lips to the top of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair as he was desperate not to let her go.

It hurt that Ben couldn't wrap his arms around (Y/n) or kiss her or even talk to her. He wanted to take her home and have everything be as it should. Ben wanted (Y/n) in his arms, he wanted her and his daughter in his arms in a hug and he wanted the boys at home with them and for them to be the family they should be. He didn't want (Y/n) to be ill and in pain and their girl to be stuck in an incubator without her family surrounding her every hour of every day.

The moment Ben got out of the room he just wanted to turn back around and go lay with (Y/n) but he knew if he did that then he wouldn't leave.

"Ben, how is she today?"

He didn't get more than two feet away from (Y/n)'s room before his eyes suddenly locked on her mother heading towards him.

The first time Ben had met Alicia was worrying for him since he had met her only a month before he and (Y/n) found out they were going to have a baby. He had no idea how she would react to her daughter being in a relationship with someone who already had three children of his own, he knew it wasn't the best kind of image or the best situation her parents would want for her. But he had been more than surprised when her parents had taken to him straight away and Alicia was very welcoming to the boys, she was practically another grandmother to them already.

It crushed Ben more than anything when he had to ring (Y/n)'s parents and explain that (Y/n) had suddenly taken a turn for the worst after he had told them she was recovering well the night before.

And it was too hard for Ben to stay with (Y/n) when her parents came to visit her. They came every day like Ben did but he made sure they had time alone with (Y/n) or else he didn't know what to say, where to sit or how to act. All he wanted to do was sit beside (Y/n) and hold her hand and suddenly make her better but he didn't feel comfortable when her parents were in the room. He couldn't cry in front of them either.

Ben was engulfed in a rather comforting but still crushing hug the moment Alicia was in front of him.

(Y/n) always told Ben that he had charmed her mother almost like he had charmed (Y/n) herself. His smile won Alicia over and his nature and just generally how he was made Alicia accept him into their family straight away.

"They're keeping her sedated, she got too distressed when she was awake with the ventilator and she's still on a lot of antibiotics... but the doctor said her heart isn't affected, so that's good." Ben scratched at the short hairs at the back of his head before he rubbed his hands over his face, trying to wake himself up a bit more.

When (Y/n) had woken up early in the morning, they had to sedate her because it was distressing for her to try and move and realise that she couldn't breathe. Feeling a tube stuck down her throat was too much for her, especially when it made her focus on her lack of breathing and she couldn't communicate without panicking. It was kinder and safer to keep her in a sleeping state, at least until she started to recover.

But the sepsis was still attacking her system and her lungs weren't working on their own. The antibiotics were treating the infection (Y/n) had gotten after labour but they couldn't control the sepsis. The only good news they had right now was that (Y/n)'s heart was still strong and wasn't effected by sepsis because if that happened, her chances would be next to none.

"Well s-she needs the rest... how's the little one doing?"

It was clear that Alicia was about ready to burst into tears but she was doing her best to push the tears back and keep her voice under control. (Y/n) was her only child, she had no other kids so (Y/n) had been her world and Alicia didn't have much other family other than her husband and her sister. If she lost (Y/n) she wouldn't have anyone around her except for Ben and her granddaughter and the boys.

Alicia had been to see her granddaughter along with (Y/n)'s dad, Jeremy, they visited the baby every day they visited (Y/n).

"They're letting me hold her today, I just can't do the birth certificate yet... (Y/n)'s supposed to be picking her name."

Ben could feel a bad headache forming behind his eyes, causing him to rub ferociously at his eyes to try and relieve the feeling. Their girl was four days old now and by this time Ben usually got the birth certificate sorted but he couldn't do that when he didn't have a name for her. He and (Y/n) had three names but they never managed to decide on one before labour happened early. Ben picked the name for all three of his boys and he said he wanted (Y/n) to be the one to pick the name for their daughter but right now she couldn't so he wasn't getting the certificate done until (Y/n) was better.

"There's plenty of time for that. I'll visit her after I sit with (Y/n) for a while, and if you want to stay here with (Y/n) at any point, you just ring me and those three boys can stay with me. You know I think of them as my own."

Alicia rubbed her hand up and down Ben's arm as a silent look of appreciation filled his eyes before they parted ways. He couldn't carry on this conversation without wanting to cry and it was very clear to see, Alicia didn't want to push either of them too far. Ben knew and appreciated that she would look after the boys whenever she could because she thought of them as her own grandkids. But Ben had to be at home with them as well as being here with (Y/n) because the boys were starting to get worried and he couldn't have that.

It was only a short trip from (Y/n)'s room down to the neonatal unit where is girl was and it was a route Ben walked three or four times a day. Switching between seeing (Y/n) and their daughter before he went home and spent the night with the boys before coming back to the hospital as early as he could.

When Ben reached the room that held four other newborns as well as his daughter, he headed straight over to his little girl and where a nurse was doing her routine checks.

"Mr Jones, are you ready to hold baby today?"

Ben nodded his head, finding a smile already on his lips just at the thought of having her in his arms. The moment she had been born she was taken out of the room to be looked after and she'd had a tube down her nose to help her breathe since she inhaled some fluids. But now she just had an IV for some nutrients and a few monitoring clips and stickers to check her vitals.

Doctor Mills had checked up on her yesterday and said she just needed the incubator for another week to make sure her lungs were developed enough to work properly on their own. So Ben could take her home in just over a week.

At least one of his girls was okay.

Ben tried to stop his leg from jittering up and down when he sat down, anxiously waiting for that strange yet intoxicating feeling of holding his baby for the first time.

When he first got to hold Carter, Ben had never felt a wave of emotions like that before. He didn't want to put Carter down, he just wanted to sit and hold him for the rest of his life. Then when he had James it was the same emotions but more intensified, he had another life depending on him and another boy he could cherish and look after. Finn was the smallest of all his boys, he felt like a little baby doll in Ben's arms, the kind he remembered playing with as a kid. Finn was so small and delicate but he had been beautiful.

After Finn, Ben had been sure that he had all his kids. He didn't think he would want or even get the chance to have another child, especially not after things between him and Lucy evolved in the worst possible way.

But here he was now, about to hold his fourth child, his first daughter.

The moment she was placed into his arms, Ben felt a shiver running down his spine and tingling throughout his body. He thought Finn had been his smallest child but his daughter was here, proving him wrong. She was four pounds and three ounces which was definitely underweight considering the average baby was supposed to be around seven pounds.

But she was perfect.

She had a tiny button nose that didn't reflect Ben's bumpy, slightly crooked nose that both Cater and James had inherited from him. Her hands were tiny but formed behind the rose pink mittens stuck on her hands so she didn't scratch her face. Her body fit along the expanse of Ben's lower arm perfectly and the way she curled up in his arm made him grin. She tucked her face into his chest and it tickled when Ben felt her nose brushing against his skin through his shirt.

"Hey, girlie. We don't have a name for you yet, but I'll talk to your mummy about that soon. She's so desperate to come see you when she's better, and the boys are all in love with you already, even Finn says your so pretty. My first girl."

Ben slowly brushed his finger across her cheek, smiling at the way it made her head lean into his touch before it seemed to tickle her. When he brought the boys to see her yesterday, all of them had been in awe of their little sister. Carter looked like he wanted to pick her straight up and cuddle her, James had reached his hand out to take hold of hers. And when Ben picked Finn up so he could see her, the first thing he said was that she was very pretty and sweet even if she was very small. They all seemed to instantly take to the thought of a sister now that she was here with them.

All they needed now was for (Y/n) to get better so she could hold her daughter.

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"Buddy, come on it's past your bed time, you need to try and settle down you have school tomorrow." Ben tried his best to sound sympathetic and understanding but it was hard when he didn't have the patience or the effort left in his system.

It was half past ten, both James and Finn were fast asleep in their room and all Ben needed was for Carter to either settle down or for once, actually fall asleep. They all had school tomorrow and Ben needed to try and calm his own mind down because he had to take them to school then go to the hospital to see (Y/n) and their baby.

Ben had seen this coming. He had seen the state Carter was in after his mum dropped the boys back home, he was anxious and hyper and that was a big sign that he wouldn't settle tonight.

"No, I don't wanna." Carter shook his head with a defying look on his face before he planted himself down on the sofa.

His eyes followed Ben's movements in the same way they normally did when he tried to defy his dad. He didn't look anxious or irritated, he looked blank like he didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Carter watched what Ben did in case his dad was really riled up and to see what he could get away with doing. He watched Ben down the last bit of beer in the dark brown bottle in his hand before he got up and moved to put it in the kitchen.

But the moment Ben came back into the living room, he turned the tv off and looked at Carter expectantly. He knew well enough to know that Ben wouldn't let him sit up and watch tv all night when he had school in the morning. Even if Carter wouldn't be tired if he stayed up all night, it still wasn't good for him and would break his routine of trying to settle for the night.

"Carter, listen to me. I'm tired, okay? I'm knackered, I've been at the hospital every day for the last five days and then I'm coming home to be with you boys. I can't sleep either but I need you to keep your routine, I can't deal with you being unsettled from no routine."

If Carter didn't have a routine it unsettled him because routines helped to calm him down and give him structure. (Y/n) and the baby being away in hospital and Ben running between home and hospital definitely didn't give Carter routine or structure. So Ben had to keep that routine for Carter wherever he could and right now that was keeping him at school, bringing him home and keeping set times for getting up and going to bed.

"No, you just want to deal with mum and not let me see her. I miss her and I can't sleep, I wanna go see mum! I wanna see my mum!"

Carter stomped his foot down on the carpet as he stood to his feet, his height making him just below Ben's shoulder. Carter had trouble sleeping but he was normally fine with laying down and thinking until he fell asleep. But when he was anxious like this all he could think about was what was worrying him and that was (Y/n). He thought about her and how he hadn't seen her in over five days but Ben saw her everyday. He missed her and he was jealous and angered that he couldn't go and see her yet.

"Carter she's ill, I have to be there and make sure she's getting better you know that-"

"I wanna see my mum-"

"I wanna see her too!" The way Ben's voice rose and his words bellowed back at Carter made the eldest boy take a step back. He wasn't expecting Ben to shout at him and he certainly wasn't expecting him to say that.

Ben saw (Y/n) every day so far, he did see her whereas the boys didn't get to, Carter didn't understand what he meant by that.

"Every second I'm away from her I want to go back to her Carter because she's sick! I wanna see her wake up and look at me and talk to me and kiss me and just to hold her. But I can't because every fucking second I'm with your mum, she's asleep because she is so fucking ill she can hardly breathe. I miss her even when I'm sat next to her because it doesn't feel like she's there, do you get that? If I take you to see her you'll get upset and when I go see her I cry so no, you can't go see her and I'm fucking sick of all this shit."

The tears that fell from Ben's swollen, red eyes made Carter start to cry silently because he never saw Ben cry. It was something that hardly ever happened and it showed him just how poorly (Y/n) was and how badly it was hurting Ben.

"I want your mum home with us and I want your sister here too, she's at the hospital all alone until I can go hold her. She's my daughter and I can't look after her like I did when I had you boys and it kills me." Ben's tone softened like slowly melting butter and his voice was quieter when he realised he had scared Carter which he never meant to do.

His daughter was all alone in the hospital without her family and even though she wouldn't understand what family was, Ben knew she would have that maternal and paternal instinct and know who he and (Y/n) were. When Ben had the boys they were all home within two or three days and he was looking after them. But with his one and only girl, she was at the hospital without her family and that cut Ben up into pieces.

"I miss mum."

Those three words were the only ones Carter could think of and could manage to say. And the moment they registered in Ben's ears, he went down on his knees in front of Carter and engulfed him in his arms. It didn't and would never matter to Ben how old any of his children were, he would always want to pick them up in his arms and cuddle them like they were all still toddlers.

He picked Carter up and stood to his feet until the eleven-year-old wrapped his legs around Ben's hips and tucked his head into Ben's neck, breathing in his scent which started to calm him down.

Ben kissed the side of Carter's head, moving one of his hands so he could slowly smooth his fingers over the hair at the back of Carter's head. No words were spoken between the pair as Ben silently headed out of the living room and made his way upstairs to his room. If Carter wasn't going to sleep and Ben didn't think he was either, the best option was for them to stay together and try to settle and calm down. They both needed comforting right now.

Carter stayed clinging to Ben like a monkey even when Ben laid down on the bed with his upper body leaning up against the cushioned headboard. Carter put a bit of strain and weight onto Ben's chest as he laid on his front but it didn't bother Ben, he just wanted to hug his son.

"I... I heard the new teacher talking about mum today." Carter kept his face buried in Ben's neck as he spoke but he was clearly calmer when Ben continued to run his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, what did they say?"

"She told the class that mum had her baby but is poorly so she won't be at work for a few months."

"No, buddy she won't be at work for a few months because when a person has a baby, they get time off to be with their baby. If your mum wasn't sick she still would have time off, she has to look after your sister. She's just in the hospital still because she's poorly."

Carter clearly worried that (Y/n) was going to be in the hospital for months with what he had heard the supply teacher say but that wasn't going to be the case.

"Mum is gonna get better... isn't she?"

"Yes she is, I promise."

[megalony]

Met his match

This is a new Murderer! Ben Hardy imagine that should have a follow-up imagine soon when I can get round to it, I hope you will all enjoy this one feedback is always lovely to have.

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Murderer! Ben masterlist

Summary: Ben is a hitman tracking his latest target, and he is getting ready to kill them but things get tricky when his conscience gets the better of him. And the situation unravels when soulmates are involved.

Enjoy.

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Reaching his calloused hand into his back pocket, Ben pulled out the phone that was vibrating to show someone was calling. Taking a scan of the phone case, he sighed at seeing it was his personal phone which he couldn't be bothered to answer right now.

He'd been in the game for a two years now and had managed to pick up many tricks of the trade. Rule number one was to have seperate phones so if he got caught, he could give the police his normal phone that was just for friends and family. The innocent phone. All the implicating and cryptic messages were on his work phone so he could keep things separate and in order. His normal phone was white and his work phone was black as a teasing reminder of his life like day and night.

Switching the rather annoying item off, Ben slipped it back into his pocket before turning his attention down to the glass resting on the shining polished wooden surface in front of him.

This was a very different experience for Ben considering that for the past three months he had been in hiding.

Laying low wasn't all it was cracked up to be and Ben hated it. He hated having to disappear underground, to go to dingy, disgusting bars for a drink and to make sure no one would find him. He hated having to scan the bars to make sure they were the kind that didn't have CCTV so he could stretch the truth about how long he was there if an alibi was needed. He hated being around the cringy, loud-mouthed people that bustled about and spilt their drinks on one another.

Ben couldn't abide by the hotels and the small B&B's that he had to go to when he was out of town and needed to go unseen.

Laying low was the part of being a hitman that he despised because in order to keep the job he had so graceously decided to take, he had to cover his tracks and give himself alibi's. He had to make sure his face was never in papers or on websites. He had to make sure only the right kind of people knew who he was so he wasn't known to the posh people or the ones in contact with the police so he wouldn't be caught. He had to make sure the people who knew what he did weren't informants for the police or traitors.

But his job was something he found great pride and achievement with, even though he knew he shouldn't. Killing people wasn't the kind of job that someone should be proud to have and yet Ben was. He had pride that he had been doing this for two years and no one had caught him yet. He was proud that people respected him in the underworld and that people paid a high price for the job that he did. People went to the trouble of finding him to get his help, they risked a lot to find him with the knowledge that he could turn them down.

The thrill that it gave him, the planning that he got to put into it and the risks he took made laying low all that much better.

But to finally be out of his hiding and back in the world of the living was something that he enjoyed immensely. Ben enjoyed being able to come to the bars and restaurants that were more appealing to the eye and soul. To be able to act as if he fit in with the higher society when really, despite how he hated to lay low, that was where he belonged.

The thin black button-up shirt he was wearing was rather itchy around the collar and he had to refrain from scratching his neck every ten seconds but he had to act formal since he was technically at work right now.

Turning his head to the left, Ben locked his bored eyes onto the man he had seen wandering around the restaurant for the past hour. He went around hitting on any girl that walked in and every time he had got rejected which wasn't surprising given that this wasn't the most high class place but it certainly wasn't of low standards. The women here were more refined and didn't take to a drunk man wandering the bar asking them if they wanted to go home with him for a 'night-cap'.

The drunk man seemed to get more riled up and annoyed with every rejection he got until he was starting to get aggressive. If the guy would take each rejection with his chin up then Ben would have said good on him for taking it in his stride but the hitman was getting fed up of the idiot's persistence with anyone in sight.

Hunching his shoulders forward, Ben leaned his head down but let his eyes lean around the idiot a few feet at his side, trying to get a look at the poor victim the man was now pestering.

Ben had to refrain himself from growling in sheer annoyance when he realised that the victim this drunk idiot was pestering was Ben's next target. Rubbing his hand over his face, Ben scratched at the corner of his eye with the pad of his thumb as he tried to stay calm and unnoticed.

It was always a surprise to Ben when he found out that his victims were women because eighty percent of the people he was told to snuff out were usually middle aged business men. With the odd exception of a young inexperienced boy who had taken something he shouldn't or who was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. But killing a woman was never hard for Ben, a hit was a hit and it didn't matter who it was as long as the job was done and Ben got paid at the end of it.

The only times he ever refused to do a job was if he himself deemed the hit unnecessary. Maybe there was a young boy who just didn't need to be killed or a woman who was only wanted dead because her rich husband wanted her out of the way.

Other than things like that, Ben usually didn't care the reason even though he always asked. It was part of his invisible policy that Ben was to be given all the details, the reason and half the payment up front before he went through with a hit.

For the past two weeks Ben had followed his victim, got to know her routine and what she did and he knew that tonight was the one opportunity that he had to get the job over and done with.

Tonight was a night where she was most vulnerable because she was alone, away from home and her family and friends thought she would be away for another week so the timeline for her disappearance would be vague at best. Ben had already disabled her phone signal from afar and he had ensured that he wasn't on any security tapes.

All he had to do was find her after she left the restaurant and he could pounce.

Ben knew the reason why he had to kill this girl.

She had smuggled a lot of money from her father's account and placed it into a lot of other accounts ranging from her own to her father's victims who he had complete control over. What she had done was completely legal since she had access to the account and had unsuspectingly gotten her father to sign the documents allowing the transactions. He had lost out and now his daughter was a threat to his rather secretative dodgy dealings.

She was a threat he wanted rid of and the police couldn't do anything, nor could they get rid of her in the sense that her father wanted.

But Ben could.

He applauded his victim's reasons and what she had managed to do but at the end of the day, she was a hit and Ben had taken the job.

Turning his head to the left, Ben glanced his eyes over at his victim as if making sure that she hadn't disappeared without him knowing.

His victim had her rather long hair folded and pinned to her lower head just at the top of her neck but she had two short strands of hair hanging loose framing both sides of her face. And her vibrant eyes were shining for everyone to see. Her head was tilted to the side and the distant look in her eyes made her seem as if she was in a world of her own. She had one arm resting on the circular wooden table and her other hand circled around the half empty glass of red wine in front of her.

She looked as if she fitted in so well here with her baggy button-up shirt tucked into her high-waisted trousers that skimmed over the top of her ankle boots. Her appearance and her smile and the way she held herself made her fit in so well with the upper class people in the restaurant. But there was just something about her that made Ben feel like she was an outcast. Someone desperately trying to fit in when really, she didn't belong anywhere at all.

Just like him.

The pick up line that the drunken man used on Ben's victim washed over Ben's head just like it did the girl's head because she didn't spare him a glance. She seemed to be used to people trying to gain her attention and she seemed very good at choosing who deserved her attention and who didn't.

When the man didn't persist anymore and left in a huff, Ben felt like doing the exact same thing. He had been in this restaurant for two hours now and had had no interaction or conversation with anyone but the bartender who simply kept refilling Ben's glass the moment Ben pointed at it.

As much as Ben enjoyed being at places like this, it did get boring when he had no one to talk to because talking to people could potentially ruin an alibi if he needed one. They could say the exact time he left, who he had been looking at, what exactly he had told them. Ben would never say anything to incriminate himself or make himself seem untrustworthy but interactions were just as harmful as doing the job he did.

As bad as it was that he sat and talked to no one, it was safer.

"Any good?"

The new voice broke Ben out of his consuming thoughts, much to his relief, but when his head turned to his left he felt a spark of adrenaline bursting through his stomach when he saw who it was talking to him.

"The whiskey here, is it any good?" (Y/n) pointed her finger towards the circular glass of whiskey resting in front of Ben that he was holding with a vice grip in his left hand. It was the only thing she could think of to spark up a conversation with the one person here who seemed to feel like an outcast here the same as she did.

It seemed to take him a while to respond, she could see his eyes studying her as if he didn't exactly know what to make of her or how to take her question.

Ben observed the way that (Y/n) leaned her elbows on the counter with one arm outstretched like she was trying to reach behind the bar and grab one of the bottles. Whilst her other hand was resting against her neck like she was trying to prop her head up. Ben couldn't help but let his eyes wander over her, noticing how her hips were pushing against the bottom of the bar counter and her knees were straight like she was trying to make herself look a bit taller than she really was.

"Better than most places I've been to."

Ben didn't usually talk to his victims.

In theory, Ben could tell his victims anything. He could tell them his bank details, his name and address, his age, his national security number. He could tell them anything and everything about him because his victims always ended up in the same place; a grave. And dead men tell no tales.

But this was different, Ben talked to his victims when he was about to force a bullet into their skulls or make their deaths drag out. He didn't normally jave a chat with them before they knew that he was their personal grim reaper about to steal their life and soul. He never talked to his victims like he was trying to make a new acquaintance or even a friend.

Talking to his victims could often make him feel sorry for them or make him regret killing them. Ben didn't need them haunting him in the dead of night disturbing his sleep or making him think over his life choices and his choice of jobs.

"That's enough for me." (Y/n) didn't even get chance to speak when the bartender approached them both before her new acquaintance pointed to his glass before holding up two fingers indicating he wanted two glasses this time. It always fascinated (Y/n) how people like him were willingly in places like this when they clearly didn't want or need social interaction.

It would clearly be a lot easier and cheaper for him to just buy a bottle of whiskey and take it back to wherever he resided. But then again, if he liked to be around people he wouldn't get that if he lived on his own. Some people like to be surrounded but not interacted with, they liked to people-watch but not be watched themselves. (Y/n) didn't know him or why he was here and she wasn't usually one to judge a book by its cover.

"Thank you." (Y/n) generously took the drink placed in front of her, a curious but appreciative look in her eyes to which the stranger nodded in understanding before downing his drink.

It was her last night after all, the least he could do was buy her a drink.

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Breathe.

The one thought rattling through (Y/n)'s mind was telling her to do something that she normally never had to think about. Such an automatic process that happened thousands of times every day was something that (Y/n) was now having to remind herself to do in case she suddenly forgot or held her breathe for so long that she endangered herself even more by fainting.

Breathing was the only thing that (Y/n) was certain of right now, everything else was an illusion that she couldn't see past and it was frightening to say the least.

But even breathing was becoming hard when (Y/n) could feel her lungs pushing uncomfortably against her ribs ten times faster than usual. Her chest was heaving, her body was aching and none of her muscles were back under her control yet.

(Y/n) didn't even know where she was and the more she thought about what had happened, the worse her head started to ache because she didn't understand it. One moment she had been walking down the street aiming to get back to her hotel, the next moment an arm had secured around her waist and a cloth was smothered to her lips. When she awoke, every part of her was aching and she seemed to be laid on a sofa if she had guessed right. Unsure where she was, what was going to happen or why she was even taken in the first place.

She could tell that none of her limbs were tied up, her kidnapper had relied solely on the medication on the cloth that had knocked her out and the blindfold wrapped around her head to stop her from seeing anything if she woke too early. But (Y/n) couldn't move, her body was still asleep even if her mind was now awake meaning getting away was impossible right now.

"I can tell you're awake."

A small maon escaped (Y/n)'s lips as she tried to get her body to come back under her control, but the moment those words registered in her ears she could feel her blood running cold.

She knew that voice.

"W-whiskey." (Y/n)'s voice shook and her head spun as she felt waves of horror creeping up her spine causing her muscles to shiver. It was the man who had bought her a drink at the bar. The man she had spoken very few words to and shared a drink with before heading back to her table. The man who had left the restaurant way before she herself had done.

What on Earth had she done to him to make him want to kidnap her?

"I'm honoured you remember me, love."

(Y/n) could feel the whiskey man getting closer, she could feel the way he cut through the air ever so slowly like he was slowly piercing the atmosphere with a knife. And when she felt him leering over her a whimper escaped her lips that were numb from whatever had been pressed against them earlier to knock her out. He hadn't looked the most harmless man in the bar but he didn't give off the vibes of a kidnapper. (Y/n) didn't know him, she'd never seen him before in her life, what did he want with her?

When his fingers slowly trailed against her cheek and up to her hair (Y/n) wanted to cower back in fear but the most she could do was shift her shoulders a little.

She could feel his hand slowly brushing the loose strand of hair behind her ear before he slowly grabbed the material covering her eyes, pulling it away to reveal her tired eyes that were blinking rapidly to adjust to the dim light. (Y/n) almost jumped when her vision cleared enough for her to realise that the whiskey man was crouched down on his knees in front of her. A serene yet almost intrigued look on his face as he stared at her with his lips turned up at the corners.

(Y/n) tried to move her uncoordinated limbs and managed to press her right hand down on the sofa before pressing the back of her left hand down against the cushion to try and lift herself up. The whiskey man had laid her down on the sofa as if she had just fallen asleep and he had carried her here- wherever here was. He didn't tie her up or lock her somewhere or even dump her somewhere, he had taken time and care with her. And when (Y/n) tried to manoeuvre herself up, he even leaned and placed his arm under hers with his hand resting on her back to guide her up.

Ben didn't miss the way that (Y/n) flinched when he touched her and he didn't exactly know why he had let her live so long.

He brought her to a hotel that he knew had no security in the reception or in the corridors so he couldn't be seen or caught on camera. He had the room already set up and paid for in advance and simply told the man on reception that his wife had gotten drunk and he was carrying her back. The young man believed him, who wouldn't?

But Ben could have killed her by now.

He could have put a bullet in her or even a knife if he wanted to get creative and he could have left through the fire escape without anyone knowing. No one knew she was in this hotel, it wasn't booked in her name so they wouldn't know who she was and Ben had taken her purse and phone. It would be a mystery and he could have given her some peace by killing her whilst she was asleep. It would have been kinder.

But Ben just couldn't do it.

He brought her in here, laid her down, locked the door and closed the curtains. But when he thought about just killing her and leaving, something stopped him. He had spent at least twenty minutes or so just watching her sleep, wondering what was going through her mind and when she was going to wake up and beg him for mercy.

He didn't have a problem with killing her, there just seemed to be something about her that made him want to talk to her and make her beg before he eventually took her life from her.

"What... why am I here? I don't know you..." (Y/n)'s speech was slow and her words were slightly slurred from how delirious her mind seemed to be after being drugged. She didn't know where she was but she didn't even know why she was where she was, let alone why a stranger had taken her.

"No, but I know how you are, love. We're both here on business and very soon, that business will be finished."

(Y/n) couldn't help but whimper, unsure what kind of business this man wanted with her but she had a few grave ideas. But the moment her eyes set on his right hand, she felt like she was going to be sick. He had a gun in his hand with a silencer on the end. If she tried to scream he could shoot her and no one would be any the wiser. If she tried to escape then he could shoot her before she even got off the sofa and by the looks of things, he was going to shoot her regardless of whether she tried to get away or not.

She was dead no matter what she did.

"No... no p-please... why would you kill me?"

A pang of pain struck Ben in his heart as he watched the way her lips couldn't help but pull down at the corners and when the tears fell from her eyes Ben almost felt bad. But this wasn't personal, he didn't have a vendetta against her or hate her or want to hurt her just because he randomly picked her to be his next victim. This was calculated and decided by someone else, Ben was just the paid method to get rid of her. This had nothing to do with him.

"This isn't personal, darlin'. I'm afraid this is what I'm paid to do, your daddy decided it. Don't worry, you won't have to feel anything unless of course, you want to."

He could see it in her eyes. She was desperate to beg him to spare her, to lie to her father and tell him she was dead but secretly let her live. She would disappear, she would go far away if he would spare her life. But it was clear in his eyes that he wasn't going to let that happen. As he said, this wasn't personal, this was clearly a job for him and he seemed like the kind of man that didn't stop until the job was done. The whiskey man didn't care for her and therefore her pleas were going to fall on deaf ears because he wouldn't be fazed by her begs for mercy or he wouldn't have agreed to do this in the first place.

Ben watched in curiosity as (Y/n) moved her hands to rub her arms like she was trying to give herself a comforting hug before she died, knowing it was inevitable.

She wasn't like the rest of his victims, begging, pleading and sobbing loudly or trying to attack him and make their escape. Most of the time Ben killed from afar, he stalked like a predator then suddenly shot them in a dark alley or stabbed them. Some of the worse ones were the ones he dragged out, he tortured them before leaving them to die somewhere. But just recently he started talking to a few victims or letting them wake up like now before he killed them.

But none of his victims seemed to sit and accept their fate like she was. This one was special, she was smart.

Ben let his eyes wander down to the gun in his hands as he slowly stretched up until he was hovering over her, looming like the grim reaper ready to snatch her soul. He checked the bullets left in the gun knowing full well he had five rounds though he only needed one or two at the most if he felt cruel. He then twisted the end of the silencer to make sure it was properly fitted, not wanting to make a surprising sound and let anyone know what he was up to in here.

(Y/n) needed him to do it now and get it over with.

She couldn't handle waiting and watching like this, death was always something that scared her but she always thought it would be unexpected or hoped she would pass in her sleep. Knowing it was about to happen now made her skin crawl and sent her mind reeling and this whiskey man was just prolonging it even more.

But as she watched him click the safety off the gun, her heart rocketed in her chest and started to spasm achingly when he began to whistle a quiet tune like he was preparing himself for an audition rather than a killing.

Oh God no.

(Y/n) knew that tune, she knew that tune all too well. It was the tune she had had in her head since she could remember, it was her song. That tune was the song that belonged to (Y/n).

Everyone in the world had a soulmate somewhere out there. People say that they know their soulmate from the first glance or just by looking or talking to them. But the one definitive way of knowing your soulmate is the song. Everyone has a song in their mind that is their own, not a song from the radio that they choose, but a certain rhythm, a humming or a whistling song in their head that they share with one other person in the world. Their soulmate. They are the only two that know the tune.

The whiskey man was whistling (Y/n)'s tune.

The only way that he could know that tune was if he was her soulmate. But he was trying to kill her, why would he whistle that tune if he was trying to kill her? Who whistled or even thought of their song when killing someone? She was going to be murdered by her soulmate and no one was going to come to her aid or her rescue.

Did this man even believe in soulmates?

Ben's lips curved up into a rather sinister grin that made (Y/n)'s skin crawl but she whimpered when he turned the barell of the gun towards her, aiming it at her temple. He could feel a small wave of guilt washing over him but he knew it would be taken away with the tide soon enough. His whistling grew louder as he got ready to pull the trigger, knowing he would have a lot of cleaning and tidying up to do very soon.

"It won't hurt, love. I promise."

But Ben's hand shook and his arm suddenly recoiled to his chest in horror when he heard her response.

His eyes blew wide in his sockets when he heard the rhythm she was shakily humming against her chapped lips. Her wild, rabid eyes locked with his own as she started to hum a bit louder, showing how uneven and timid her voice actually was because this was her only chance at survival. Humming his own song back at him.

"How do you know that tune? How?!"

The words bellowed around the room, resonating back at Ben as he suddenly jerked his arm out and pushed the barell of the gun against (Y/n)'s temple. Hating the way she cried out and cowered back at the feeling but still tried to hum the tune to prove she wasn't copying him, she knew what tune he had started to whistle.

"I- it's my s-song." Her chest quaked and her whole body trembled like she was undergoing an electric current before she tried humming the ending of the tune to keep herself alive, at least for now.

What the Hell was he supposed to do?

Ben's job was to murder people for cash and get away with it. He had no morals or code or rules he lived by and he certainly had no partner or wife waiting at home for him because he couldn't have any weaknesses or strings attached to him.

But that was his tune. He recalled his mother telling him about how she met his father and despite what Ben did for a living, his home life had been a good one. He knew his parents had been in love and he knew that soulmates existed purely because of the way his parents had been when he was growing up. No one had loved or appreciated his mother more than his father did.

A soulmate was not what Ben was looking for, he simply assumed that whoever out there shared his song was someone that he would never find. He wasn't looking for them and he didn't need a soulmate in his life, his life was perfect as it was right now.

But she was here right in front of him, cowering away because he was about to snatch her life from her.

But he couldn't.

If he took her life right now, all Ben could think about was what he would have done if his father had taken his mother's life. What would have happened if his father had killed his mother at any one point in their relationship?

(Y/n) didn't ask to be his soulmate, maybe she wasn't even looking for her soulmate either. Ben couldn't do it. The one thing in life that he wanted to believe in and abide by was a soulmate, he didn't necessarily want his soulmate right now but he knew it was real and he believed it happened. He couldn't ruin that by killing his soulmate, (Y/n) did not choose to have her fate be entwined with a murderer. She didn't choose to have her soulmate be a brute who was about to kill her.

"You... fuck! Fuck!" His voice suddenly rocketed around the room before the gun was launched out of his hand and violently hit the wall opposite him. "Why?! Why did you have to have my song? Why did you have to fucking hum it? I could have killed you by now- I should have killed you by now!"

"Y-you would rather kill me... not knowing you killed your soulmate? You could have killed me i-if you hadn't of whistled our song."

It wasn't just his song, it was their song. They both shared it and (Y/n) didn't know if it would have been better if he killed her because he would have gone through the rest of his life wondering why he never met his soulmate. People didn't always end up with their soulmates, they got tired of waiting around and just settled with someone else or settled on their own and made a new life for themselves. Some people chose not to believe in it and others met their soulmate and were too stubborn to want to be with them. But everyone met them at one point in their lives and knew about it.

Ben would have been more confused if he went through the rest of his life and didn't meet his soulmate.

"But I can't fucking do it now! I can't... for fuck's sake! I can't tell my client I haven't killed you because it turns out your my shitting soulmate!"

"Then kill me!"

"I can't!"

Ben all but screamed the words back at (Y/n), knitting his hands into his shortened hair before he turned his back on her so he could try and gather himself and think it through. Ben couldn't bring himself to kill her now, not now he knew there actually was someone out there for him. A soulmate was different than just finding someone and falling in love. (Y/n) was his match, she was someone that would love him and take him as he was. She was his soulmate and therefore their fates were entwined, it meant that she would love him despite him being a hitman and murdering people for a living.

He didn't deserve love but now he had a chance at it and this was his one and only moral. He couldn't bring himself to kill her, it had been hard enough to convince himself to do it before but now it was impossible.

"I can't kill you now... as weird as it seems, I just can't do it. I've failed this job and now you'll go and leave me because I've tried to hurt you." Ben smoothed his hand over the back of his head and neck before he bent down on his knees in front of (Y/n). He didn't know how else to explain it and he was desperate for her to see this from his point of view but it was virtually impossible. He had kidnapped her, told her he was going to kill her and now he couldn't because their fates were entwined.

Ben could see it now that if he didn't kill her he would have to let her go and then he would lose her because he couldn't follow and stalk her for the rest of his life. It wouldn't be right. She would leave him and he would lose her all because he couldn't kill her.

"I don't- I can't leave you... I mean, your my soulmate too."

(Y/n) had her proof that this man wasn't going to kill her, he didn't have the mind-set or the courage or the will to do that. The worst he could do was be rude because he clearly didn't intend to hurt his soulmate which meant he had some very warped morals. (Y/n) believed in soulmates, she had been waiting for him and now he was here, albeit in the worst of circumstances. She wasn't just going to walk away from him yet.

"What do we do now?" As bad as this situation was, (Y/n) couldn't quite see where they went from here.

"Isn't it obvious? I was supposed to kill you but I can't do that... now I need to protect you instead."

[megalony]

Deadly obsession

This is a new Ben Hardy series requested by the lovely @peterquillzsblog​ I hope you all like it, feedback is always lovely to have.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Ben Hardy masterlist

Series masterlist

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) are in a great place in their marriage but (Y/n) starts to get worried when she has a stalker who starts to get very obsessive over her and who seems to know a lot about her.

Enjoy.

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'Good afternoon, beautiful.'- New number.

(Y/n) hovered her thumb over the keypad on her phone as she debated the message she was reading. If she wasn't sat in the car with Ben right now her first assumption would have been that it was Ben who was texting her from a new number. But considering her husband was sat next to her driving the car, (Y/n) took a good guess that it wasn't him who had messaged her.

She didn't recognise the number and she hadn't made any new friends or colleagues at work. Why was someone messaging her this? Why didn't they put their name at the end of the text since it was a new number?

Pressing her lips together, (Y/n) locked her phone and put it down on her lap with a sigh. Either Sasha had a new number and simply forgot to put her name on the message to say who it was from, or someone had gotten the wrong number and was messaging (Y/n) by mistake. If it was a wrong number they would realise their mistake soon enough, especially if (Y/n) didn't message them back and just ignored the message. But it did sound like something Sasha would say, she always called people honey or lovely or even gorgeous if she really wanted something.

'I hope you have a good day today.'

(Y/n) pulled her lips together as her eyes creased at the corners as she read over the new message. It couldn't be Sasha sending this, (Y/n) was going to see her in five minutes. She wouldn't send a message like this if they were about to meet up unless she was confused or drunk.

But as (Y/n) read over the message again, she couldn't help but allow her lips to pull into a very small smile. Whoever it was who was texting her seemed to be an affectionate person. Of course, (Y/n) had no way of telling if this was a man or a woman, someone young or old, what  kind of personality they had or who they were. But it just seemed like a rather nice thing to say, calling someone beautiful and then making sure they were being thought of.

It almost made (Y/n) feel sad that she wasn't the intended person to receive these messages.

But it wasn't as if (Y/n) really needed someone to send her things like this, she had Ben and she could see and talk to him right now rather than getting a message from him. And (Y/n) knew that Ben was more cheeky rather than loving in the way of his words and texts and calls. He would say sexy instead of beautiful and he would be generally sly and cheeky in the way he said things, he wasn't all that for romance but he was all for winding (Y/n) up and teasing her. That was more fun and comforting to (Y/n) than having someone be too sickly sweet every day.

"What're you smiling at?" Ben's voice pulled (Y/n) out of her thoughts and she turned her head to look at him, smiling wider when she watched his eyes narrow and his lips curl in curiosity.

"Just something Sasha sent me."

"What's she texting you for, you're literally here now."

"You know what she's like. Thanks for the lift." (Y/n) put her phone in her bag which she slung on her shoulder when Ben parked up.

"No problem, enjoy and text me when you need picking up later."

With a lasting smile, (Y/n) leaned across until she was within reach of kissing him, trying not to smile too widely against his lips when she felt his fingers brushing against her neck. Since (Y/n)'s car was being fixed Ben was being her personal taxi for a while and was taking her wherever she needed to be but even when (Y/n) had her car she usually got a lift somewhere with Ben. He was always either going her way or offering since he liked driving and (Y/n) wasn't so keen on driving too far.

(Y/n) playfully rolled her eyes when Ben groaned as she pulled away but the cheeky hint of a smile on his lips made her chest flutter with butterflies. She didn't want to get out of the car but she knew that if she made Sasha wait much longer then she really would start texting or calling to see what was going on.

Barely a second after (Y/n) sat down at the table Sasha was impatiently waiting at, she felt her phone buzz in her bag and her mind instantly clicked to wonder if it was the wrong number messaging her again. (Y/n) couldn't help but feel a bit sad for whoever was messaging her and the person who wasn't getting the messages which were going to (Y/n). The person not getting these messages could be wondering why their friend or relation or partner wasn't talking to them and the poor person was sending all these messages to (Y/n) thinking someone else was reading them.

Ignoring the thoughts for a few moments, (Y/n) leaned over to let Sasha wrap her arms around her and practically squeal in her ear since it had been almost a month since the last time they had met up.

"Finally! I was literally about to ask where you were, it's been far too long. Here, I got you this."

(Y/n) let Sasha almost strangle her in a crushing hug for a few seconds until she finally relented and leaned back in her seat, pushing what looked like a strawberry daiquiri in front of (Y/n) and grabbing her own to take a sip. It was four in the afternoon, it seemed far too early to (Y/n) to be starting on cocktails that (Y/n) just knew Sasha would have ordered with more rum than any other ingredient.

"Sash, isn't it a bit early to start the cocktails?"

"Like we've never started earlier than four in the afternoon, come on it's not like your driving is it? Ben always takes you everywhere." Sasha rose a brow and pushed the drink further over to (Y/n) as she took a rather large sip of her own.

Sasha had dark chocolate brown hair that went in waves and reached her shoulder blades and she had very pale hazel eyes that were almost controlling. She had a button nose and defined cheekbones but she was very tall which made her rather intimidating to a lot of people, even more so when she was challenged in a drinking competition and could drink any opponent under the table.

"I think I'll have a lemonade for now." (Y/n) pushed the drink across the circular table before she slowly motioned her hand to a passing waiter to ask for another drink. She knew well enough to know that if she herself didn't have the cocktail Sasha would soon take it from her so 'it didn't get wasted'.

"Drink it, come on live properly."

"No." (Y/n) laughed through her words before she pulled her phone out from her bag, just wanting to check the message she had gotten to make sure it wasn't her mum or Ben remembering to tell her something.

'Come on beautiful, don't tell me you're ignoring me.'

What was she supposed to do? Send this person a text to say sorry but they clearly had the wrong number? But that would surely lead to a conversation or an awkwardness or an apology and (Y/n) didn't want to deal with that. This person had to realise sooner or later there was a reason they weren't getting a reply. Hopefully they would read over the number they were texting and realise they had messed up, maybe added an eight where there should be a zero or something so simple as that.

She set the phone down on the table before looking back over at Sasha, briefly thanking the waiter who came over with her drink of lemonade which suited (Y/n) a lot more right now than a strong cocktail.

"So, what have a missed, what's going on with you?"

A shy smile came over (Y/n)'s features and she tilted her head down and looked at her drink for a second, wondering if she should say this yet or not in case she jinxed it. But she wanted to share her suspicions with someone and if she didn't tell Sasha now she would be furious later if this turned out to be right and she hadn't been told from the start.

"I..." (Y/n) glanced her eyes down to her phone that buzzed again and lit up but she didn't bother to read whatever the text said, she didn't want to bother with that silly wrong number right now. "I don't know yet so you can't go telling anyone, but I... I might be pregnant."

(Y/n) could feel her cheeks turning red and her foot started to impatiently tap against the floor out of nervous habit. She watched with anticipation as Sasha's mouth opened but no words left her lips, she didn't even look like she was even breathing. Sasha was the first person (Y/n) had confided in about her suspicions but she was the only person (Y/n) wanted to tell right now. She didn't want to tell Ben or their parents and family because it was very early days and if it turns out that she wasn't pregnant she would be getting their hopes up for nothing. But she wanted to confide in someone and it was so easy to talk to Sasha and she would never tell anyone else if it was a secret.

"Might be? Haven't you done a test yet?"

"Not yet, I want to wait a few more weeks to make sure I'm not just really late or something. But I really think I might be."

Telling Ben or her family her suspicions was something (Y/n) just couldn't do in case this was a false alarm or a false positive like it had been once before. She wanted to wait until she was at least two months late so there was less chance of her suspicions being wrong. It felt safer to wait and keep this to herself until she was sure and then take a test.

"Well I bet you are, and you know Ben will be thrilled if you are- speaking of which, is that him blowing up your phone? Just text him back cause he seems needy right now. Oh, and that drink is now mine."

Sasha reached over and took the other daiquiri and lined it up very neatly behind her own that was almost finished but her eyes kept glancing over at (Y/n)'s phone that had gone off three times now in less than ten minutes. She knew that both Ben and (Y/n) would be over the moon if it turned out that (Y/n) was pregnant because for the past few months they had been trying and got one false positive. Sasha herself didn't want kids, she was happy as she was with her husband and no kids but she was praying for (Y/n) to have a baby.

A shiver ran along (Y/n)'s spine when she dared to look over at her phone that did indeed have three new messages all from the same unknown number that had been messaging her for an hour now. Surely they had to get the message that she wasn't going to respond because she didn't know them?

'Come on, stop ignoring me.'

'Have I upset you? I haven't even gotten to see your gorgeous face today, talk to me.'

'Is it because your husband's there?'

Christ, who was this person supposed to be messaging, his lover? Now (Y/n) really did want to know who this was because he sounded desperate and he seemed worried. She was assuming that the person sending the text was a man, it seemed like a man in her mind and it definitely sounded like he was having an affair with someone. He was being sweet or even trying to suck up to someone who might be upset with him and who was married.

(Y/n) felt bad for the person sending all these texts because he was worried he was in some kind of trouble with his friend but she also felt bad for whoever was supposed to be getting these messages.

For all (Y/n) knew the person these texts were intended for was someone who had a one night stand or just a friend who was in love with them who they didn't love back. This person seemed clingy, if it was (Y/n) getting all these messages in less than an hour by someone who didn't like to be ignored she wouldn't be very pleased. Constant messages weren't always caring and loving, they were sometimes desperate and needy and this was clearly a needy sort of person who wanted confirmation and approval.

"Is it Ben?" Sasha's voice pulled (Y/n) out of her thoughts but she didn't know what to say.

This would be a very funny situation to Sasha, she was the kind of person who would either send back inappropriate and explicit messages to lead this person on or she would ring them outright and tell them they had the wrong number. She wouldn't wait and try to ignore them or go over all the messages and fret about what to do or say in response. (Y/n) didn't think it would be a good idea to show these messages to Sasha or tell her she was getting a lot of wrong texts by mistake.

Nor did she really want to lie and say it was Ben messaging her because Sasha knew Ben and he wasn't the type to send so many messages like this unless there was something seriously wrong or he was very pissed about something.

"Uh, no. It's someone from work, she keeps trying to swap shifts with me. It's nothing, I'll turn it off." (Y/n) quickly turned her phone off before she stuffed it back into her bag to try and forget about it. She was here to have a good time with her friend and catch up and have a break from work and everything else, (Y/n) didn't need a random stranger constantly pestering her due to a case of mistaken identity.

They would stop texting her soon enough.

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"Babe..." Ben tipped his head down so he could whisper the word against the shell of (Y/n)'s ear and he felt the way she shivered against him at the feeling of his breath tickling her skin. He knew she was almost asleep but the shiver told him she wasn't quite asleep yet like he suspected.

His arms tightened around her waist and he slowly feathered his fingers up and down her arm, feeling (Y/n) wriggle a little in his hold. They were laid in bed and (Y/n) was settled between his legs slouched against his chest with her head laid comfortably on his shoulder. She couldn't remember how long they had been like this for but it had to of been a while since she had been drifting in and out of sleep for what felt like hours.

"Baby I have to go to the bathroom, I need to move you." Ben chuckled against her ear when all he got was a very quiet groan in response.

Ben knew they were both comfortable laid as they were but he really had to go to the bathroom and they needed to try and sleep soon if they ever wanted to be up on time in the morning.

Ben sat himself up a bit straighter before he very slowly shifted one foot to the floor and manoeuvred his other leg from behind (Y/n) until he was standing up beside the bed. He smiled fondly at (Y/n) who was like a rag doll in his arms, half asleep and barely conscious at all. With little effort, Ben moved his arms until (Y/n) was laid down on her side against the pillows instead of him so he could disappear for a few minutes.

"Oh, and I think your phone buzzed a second ago, baby." Ben grabbed (Y/n)'s phone and set it on the bed next to her before he left the room.

(Y/n) almost whimpered at how uncomfortable she now felt after leaning against Ben for what had to have been over an hour and now he wasn't here to keep her warm, even if he was only going for a minute or so. When she plucked up the energy to open her eyes the dim light from the tv was far too bright for her tired eyes.

She didn't bother to lift her head when she looked down at her phone, (Y/n) simply brought the phone to her eyes and swiped across to open her messages. Sasha had been messaging her non-stop since she got home but she would have thought she would have gone to bed by now.

It took a few seconds for the words to actually form in front of (Y/n)'s eyes and for her brain to make sense out of them but when she managed to read the message, her body went stiff. She hadn't gotten another message from the wrong number since she turned her phone off at the restaurant earlier and (Y/n) had been praying that he had gotten the message or the realisation that who he was texting was not who he intended his messages to go to.

But it was past midnight and the message that came up was from the wrong number- if she could even call it that anymore.

(Y/n) felt like she couldn't breathe, her lungs were shrivelling up into nothing and her heart started to bash and pulse against her ribs until every fibre and muscle in her body was beating out her heart's erratic rhythm. Quickly locking her phone, (Y/n) pushed her phone until he fell with a thud onto the rug at the side of the bed. She didn't want to look at it anymore, the message was already imprinted on her mind.

'(Y/n), why are you ignoring me?'

It felt like she suffered an electric shock when Ben broke her from her trance by climbing back into bed and sneaking his arm around her waist so he could pull her back against his chest. She desperately hoped he couldn't hear or feel the way her heart was suffering palpitations from the anxiety dwelling in her stomach.

The more the text swirled around her head, the more (Y/n) brought her knees up to her stomach and pushed herself back until Ben was almost engulfing her in his hold. She tugged his arm until it was pinned to her chest and she could tangle her fingers into the groves of his hand and there was no more space between her back and his chest. He was moulded around her form like a smothering blanket in a feeble attempt for (Y/n) to try and make herself feel calm and safe.

But the more every text seemed to repeat in her mind, the more she wanted to curl up and disappear and she knew Ben could tell because he kissed her temple in a way he always did to calm her down.

Who was texting her and how did he know her name?

[megalony]

Teacher’s Pet- Part 10

This is the next part of my dad! Ben Hardy series which has gotten some lovely feedback, I’m so happy you all seem to be enjoying it. I hope you will like this part.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog​ @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish @gwilymleeisbae​ @k-k0129​ @haileymorelikestupid​ @glittrixvibe​

Series masterlist

Summary: Gwilym sets Ben up on a date with (Y/n) who teaches at the school Ben’s kids go to. But Ben is hesitant in the relationship, desperate not to make the same mistakes and needing to put his kids first.

Enjoy.

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"Can you play football?"

(Y/n) turned her head to look over at James who was sitting next to her with wide eyes full of curiosity. James was sitting packed rather tightly between Finn in his car seat and (Y/n) on his left but he wasn't complaining one bit. He seemed to like sitting next to (Y/n) because he could chat to her and she didn't get bored or annoyed with him.

"I'm not the best but I can play if you want."

"Buddy, we're going for a walk, we'll play football next time." Ben took a quick look in the rear view mirror to check on James who nodded, thankfully not angry or mad that they weren't going to play football like all the boys loved to when Ben had a day off.

Ben knew it wasn't the best solution to have (Y/n) sitting in the back with the boys but it was how it had to be right now. Ben had a silent rule not to have the boys all in the back together unless it was a last resort or if all the boys had been exceptionally calm. If they all sat together and Carter lashed out or James got annoyed or both started to fight it would send Finn into a panic attack and Ben couldn't have Carter lashing out at the boys.

It wasn't normally an option to have Carter sitting in the front either in case he got distressed or had a tantrum. But James wanted to sit and talk to (Y/n), Finn had to be in the back and it felt better to have Carter and James sitting separate.

"You okay honey?" (Y/n) looked over at Finn, smiling at the three year old who wasn't speaking except for mumbling the lyrics to the song playing on the CD. He managed a small smile in response but held his toy tighter to his chest, talking to (Y/n) was getting easier for him but it wasn't something he was amazingly comfortable with.

"Dad the CDs playing up." Carter folded his arms over his chest as he turned his head to the right to look over at Ben. Having the music on in the car made Carter feel better, he loved to sing along to the songs and he liked having a CD much better than the radio. He could flick through the songs he didn't like and didn't have to listen to the ones he didn't like or the people or adverts on the radio.

"I know, I have to get it fixed buddy but it's fine it still works." Ben tried skipping to the next song to see if it would play properly. Something was up with the player, it was catching the CDs and making the songs scratch and repeat or not work and when it buffered like this it grated on Carter's nerves. Ben didn't like it either but it didn't bother him like it did Carter, for the eldest boy it almost hurt when he tried to sing and the song played up or he couldn't listen to it properly.

Carter nodded and slouched down in the front seat but he shivered when the song paused for two seconds before catching between seconds and playing the same word over and over.

"Dad fix it!" Carter roughly pressed the button to skip to another song before he folded his arms over his chest and waited for it to play up.

"Carter I'm driving and I'm not a technician I'll get it sorted soon I promise-"

"It won't work!" With a growl Carter bashed his hand into the buttons as he felt like crying when his favourite song came on and it already started scratching. He didn't like it, this was his favourite CD and it wasn't playing right and if something didn't go right Carter didn't like when he or someone else couldn't fix it.

"Why don't you put the radio on?" (Y/n) leaned forward to try and look at Carter who was sitting in the seat in front of her. She rested her hand on his shoulder but he shrugged her off and shook his head. Ben and (Y/n) were beginning to notice that whenever Carter was getting mardy or having a tantrum, he did try and stop or be quiet if (Y/n) was around because he didn't like getting mardy around her. It was a very good thing in Ben's eyes because it meant (Y/n) was helping to calm Carter down and curb his attitude just by being around.

"He doesn't like the radio on, neither does Finn. You either have to suck it up or turn it off."

Ben almost jumped in his seat and his hands tightened around the steering wheel when Carter growled before he sank in his seat and kicked his feet against the dashboard in front of him the moment his favourite part of the song buffered.

"Make it play properly- this is my song! Daddy fix it." Carter almost screamed as he continued to kick his legs on the dashboard and buried his face in his hands. His fingers curled into his hair as he felt like he was going to combust. He wanted the song to play right, it had to stop buffering like this because it sounded awful and he just wanted it to play properly.

"Carter stop it or I'll have to pull over- no Carter don't you fucking dare!" Ben turned off the CD player before moving to change gear which he had to do quickly when Carter tried to grab his hand. He wasn't trying to mess around he just wanted Ben to fix the CD but he couldn't grab him when he was driving like that.

"Okay Carter, honey look out the window for me. Look out the window and tell me five things you can see."

Sitting as far forward in her seat as she could, (Y/n) took hold of Carter's hands and pulled his arms until they were held to his chest. She kept hold of him until he whined and slouched to the left so he could look out of the window.

(Y/n) knew from experience that a lot of kids benefited from trying to focus and ground themselves when something was wrong like this. The usual pattern was to find five things you could see, four things you could hear, three you could touch, two could could smell and something you could taste. It was a good way to ground back to reality and helped with panic attacks. But for now if Carter could focus on just finding five things he could see then he might be able to calm himself down and focus on that rather than the fact that he couldn't listen to his music.

(Y/n) stayed sitting close to Carter's seat, watching as he turned so he could look at her before he quietly whispered a list of things he could see. He still looked agitated but he wasn't lashing out anymore and he was much calmer which was good.

The moment Ben pulled up into a space, he rubbed his face with his hands before turning to look at Carter.

"Buddy I know the CD needs to be on for you but if you try and grab me when I'm driving like that you can't sit in the front, it's dangerous."

"I didn't mean to."

"I know, please just try not to do that again. Come on, let's go for this walk." Ben got out the car and turned to get Finn out, noticing he didn't look too panicked which made Ben feel relieved. Finn wasn't always comfortable on trips out, he liked going out with Ben and his brothers because they all made him feel safe. But when he went out where other people were around it made him very socially aware and anxious and he was still trying to adjust to (Y/n).

It had already been discussed between (Y/n) and Ben that they would have to sit Finn down and have a talk with him. They needed to make sure he was comfortable around (Y/n) and try to get him to open up a bit more because Ben couldn't be the only person Finn talked to or wanted to be around. If Ben couldn't take Finn to school or pick him up or take him out and (Y/n) did that instead then Finn had to be comfortable around (Y/n).

"Okay buddy, you ready?" Ben took Finn's hand when he got him out the car and smiled when Finn seemed rather calm.

The five of them started walking into the park with Carter speeding ahead of them, James stood holding (Y/n)'s hand and Finn stood between Ben and (Y/n) holding Ben's hand.

"Can I go off with Carter?" James looked between (Y/n) and Ben when he saw Carter drifting over onto the grass. Going to the park was always an activity Ben decided to do with the boys because Carter could burn off his energy, James enjoyed a walk and time outside was good for Finn and calmed him down. It was easy too because Carter didn't usually have any tantrums or meltdowns when he was happy running around like this and Finn rarely got panicked as long as he was calm with Ben and didn't drift far away.

"Course, just don't wind him up."

(Y/n) watched the two boys run over onto the newly cut grass for a few moments before her eyes suddenly darted to look down to her right. Her heart jumped up into her throat and the lack of breath made her feel lightheaded when she looked at Finn. The youngest boy was looking up at her with very cautious, wide eyes as he reached out and took her hand in his free one.

The small gesture was a very big step forward for Finn and when Ben realised what he'd done he didn't know what to say or do. Touch was something Finn was very uneasy about with everyone except for Ben.

Being around (Y/n) was never going to be an easy thing for Finn because his experience with his own mother was one he didn't understand. He was too young to know what exactly had happened but it made him not want to be near (Y/n) in the beginning because his mother had been cruel and if she was cruel then he didn't know if (Y/n) would be too. But to take her hand like this and not panic about being so close to her or having her around or in his home was progress that made Ben relieved beyond words.

Ben had to try and balance making Finn calm and getting him back into the world. He tried to do things that calmed Finn down like being on time and going everywhere with him or letting him stay in his bed when he had a nightmare. But Ben also had to try and get Finn to be ready for the world, if he got too attached or too anxious when he wasn't around Ben then when he grew up his anxiety would only get worse.

"Carter said your his mummy now... are you my mummy?"

"Not if you don't want me to be. If you want me to be your step-mum or just your dad's friend that's okay." (Y/n) wasn't so sure Finn would want her to be his mum, he had seemed hell-bent on not having a mum the first time she met him and that was only to be expected after what he had gone through.

Finn didn't answer, he simply nodded his head as they kept walking but it wasn't a bad sign. He didn't want to say anything because he didn't know what he wanted to think but he was processing this and he wasn't shutting down or going into a panic attack so Ben would say this was a winning situation.

"I was wondering... why don't I go ahead with Carter for a bit?"

"What, you mean you want some time alone with him?" 

"He loves having you to himself and I think one to one time might keep him calm and make him happy." (Y/n) knew that one to one time helped Carter, he could talk and feel understood and not feel like he had to share the attention like he did with James and Finn around. Carter understood he couldn't always have the attention but he had to share Ben with two brothers who needed his attention too.

"Yeah, yeah okay that might do him good. I'd never mind you wanting to do that with him just as long as he hasn't had a tantrum- and you're not alone in the car with him. He normally can't sit in the front and he won't sit in the back on his own with you in the front."

Ben knew having time alone with Carter was a good thing and it meant a lot to Carter but Ben didn't always have the time to do that between work and James and Finn. With (Y/n) willing and able to give that time to Carter it might just help to keep him more settled and Carter loved to be around (Y/n) which was a bonus. The only thing Ben didn't want to happen was (Y/n) taking Carter out for a drive on their own like she did with James last week to get ice cream. If Carter had a meltdown in the front of the car (Y/n) might not be able to handle him and he wouldn't sit in the back because he felt awkward and pushed out sitting in the back if only (Y/n) was in the car too.

"Thank you."

(Y/n) squeezed Finn's hand and gave him a gentle smile and moved to kissed Ben before she pulled back to go over to Carter. Ben didn't really know why she was thanking him when he should be thanking her for putting in the effort with all the boys.

The way (Y/n) was with the boys only made Ben love her more.

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A smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips as she held her hand out towards Finn who was less reluctant to take her hand than he normally was. He wrapped his fingers around her palm before reaching over to take James' hand too for the extra sense of comfort and security.

Finn knew well enough to know that if he tried to take Carter's hand his eldest brother would just let go and move away. Carter didn't like when Finn clung to him, he didn't like anyone clinging to him. But with James, he didn't mind when Finn took his hand, he knew his little brother sometimes needed to feel safe and Ben told him it helped his brother so James didn't question it.

Carter on the other hand stood close to (Y/n)'s other side, his eyes scanning around since it was weird to see the school with very few children and parents around. They were twenty minutes earlier than normal because (Y/n) had to get to her class and prepare everything before the class arrived. Ben was at work this morning and (Y/n) didn't see why he should try and rush getting the boys here and then speed off to work when all the boys could just come down with her. None of the other teachers minded any kids coming early and the boys didn't mind either.

"Are you excited about your birthday next week?" (Y/n) smoothed her thumb over the back of Finn's hand as she looked down at him. (Y/n) had never seen Finn at a party or a big gathering and she didn't know how he would be at a party. With how anxious he got around new people, being in a crowd of people he did know still might not be something he felt comfortable with. But she knew Ben was talking about having a small party for him with family coming over to see him. The interaction would hopefully do him some good and make him feel more at ease around everyone and used to being around people.

"Daddy said we can go to the cinema." Finn seemed to nod to himself as a smile formed on his lips. Watching movies was something he really enjoyed and going to the cinema was a favourite activity for him. (Y/n) didn't think a three year old would be so content sitting for two hours in a cinema but Finn say perfectly still and watched the movies intently with some popcorn.

"Four's a big number... whose birthday's after yours then?"

"Mine! I'll be eleven, I'll get to go to big school in September." There was a small spring in Carter's step as he moved a few paces ahead of them but turned so he could look back at (Y/n) like he was waiting for her reaction or some kind of look of approval.

(Y/n) already knew Carter was excited about going to secondary school, it would be different for him and the thought made him feel grown up. But Ben still had to look through the schools and find one that would work with Carter's needs. (Y/n) had already said that she would help Ben find one for Carter because it was rather clear that they needed a special needs school. This primary school all the boys were currently at wasn't a special needs school but they did cater to Carter's needs very well but secondary school would be different.

It would be more intense for Carter, he was going to learn different things and have more lessons and if he got angry there was no telling if any of the teachers would be able to cope with him or help him. A school where the teachers knew how to cope with his anger and his learning disabilities was what they needed to better help him and keep his attitude in check.

Ben was desperately hoping that Finn's anxiety would die down over the next few years or else he would have to think about other schools for him as well. Finn wasn't talking very much in class at all and he didn't like interacting with the other kids, it had taken two months for him to be able to talk to the teacher. When Finn started proper lessons in primary school rather than his pre-school at this rate he wouldn't be able to be picked by the teacher to answer questions because he was too scared and anxious for that.

But there was seven years yet until Ben had to think about Finn's secondary school and it would be a while yet until he even went to primary school so hopefully in the next few years Finn's anxiety would be curbed and dwindled down and he could be helped to feel more comfortable.

"Eleven? No, I don't believe you."

"I am!" Carter smiled and tilted his chin up like he was trying to make himself taller when he was actually rather tall for his age which he got from Ben.

"Alright, you're dad will still be at work this afternoon so I'm gonna take you all home, okay?" (Y/n) bent down so she could look at Finn better, he was the one who she wanted to feel comfortable about this because Carter and James never minded her picking them up from school or an activity. But Finn was always anxious for Ben to be the one to come and get him and to be on time.

"Okay." Finn nodded with a small spark of anxiety in his eyes but the way he really tried to smile at (Y/n) showed he wasn't too overwhelmed by this and he was trying his best. He knew (Y/n) was on time, whenever she said she would come over at five or one in the afternoon she was always early or exactly on time. So Finn knew she wouldn't be late picking him up just like Ben always did his best never to be late.

"See you later honey." (Y/n) ruffled Finn's hair and kissed James' temple before she looked over at Carter and held her hand out towards him since they had to head back to the other part of the school.

"Mum, can I sit with you at lunch?"

(Y/n) felt like a spark had been rushed through her heart the moment Carter called her mum. Kids had always been something (Y/n) wanted in her life and teaching kids was the only job she ever wanted. When she thought of children (Y/n) always thought of a family like the one she grew up in, she had three older siblings and a younger sister and her mum and dad were still together now. Being with someone who already had three kids of his own was never something that crossed (Y/n)'s mind, but it was a better family than she could ever have conjured up in her daydreams.

And nothing could compare to Carter calling her mum and actually wanting her to be his mum. When she and Ben decided to get together (Y/n) automatically thought she would be a step-mum to the kids if their relationship progressed. She thought she would be a close friend to the boys at best, she never imagined they would want and need a mother figure in their lives as badly as all three of them did and they were so attached to her already. It was better than anything she could have imagined.

"Course you can, but don't you want to play on the field?" (Y/n) knew Carter sometimes ran around and played tag or football on the field with a few friends at lunch. But she had noticed a lot of the time he was sat in Gwilym's class eating lunch and reading a book or sitting in the peace and quiet with Gwilym rather than going out with friends for his break.

"No... I like sitting in class without everyone else, the field's too loud."

Carter sometimes didn't mind playing out with his friends but it got too rowdy and loud out in the playground and that made him frustrated when he could hear everyone else and they were running and getting in his way. Sitting in the classroom was much calmer because it was only Carter and Gwilym or Carter and (Y/n). No one was there to pester him or annoy him and he got attention if he wanted to talk and if he wanted to sit sit and calm down in silence he got that too. Sometimes Gwilym put on music in the background so Carter could calm down and relax before the next lesson.

"Alright honey, you can come sit with me whenever you like. Are you going to go play now, I think Leo is looking for you."

Carter's eyes danced from (Y/n) over to his friend who was stood over to the side of the fence with a shy smile, looking like he wanted to talk or play with Carter. He still had just over twenty minutes if he wanted to play before he had to go into class.

"Yeah, thanks mum." He let go of (Y/n)'s hand so he could wrap his arms around her and reel her in for a quick hug before he darted off quicker than lightning to go and see his friend.

(Y/n) smiled at the two before they disappeared around the side of the building to go to the playing field. When they were both out of sight (Y/n) made her way into the side entrance and headed down the small corridor until she made it to Gwilym's classroom. Leaning against the door, (Y/n) gently tapped her knuckles against it to let him know she was there.

He almost seemed surprised to see her as if he forgot for a moment that (Y/n) worked here too. His eyes widened behind his circular glasses but he smiled broadly and beckoned her to come inside and sit with him. He was sat at his desk with a pile of dark leaf green books on one side and a sheet of what looked like quiz answers on his right. He put down the pen in his hand and turned his chair to face her when she sat down next to him.

"Is it true?"

For a brief moment (Y/n) was alarmed by Gwilym's words but the smile on his face and the way his pupils seemed to dance made her nerves calm down a little.

"Is what true?"

"Carter's been telling me he has a mum now, he seems really happy and he's a bit calmer in class at the moment too." Gwilym leaned back in his seat but the wide smile on his face made (Y/n) blush. She didn't even consider Carter telling Gwilym or anyone else that he was thinking and classing (Y/n) as his mother now but to know he was truly happy about it made her giddy.

It also meant that she was right in the assumption that he just needed another figure in his life to calm him down, especially a mother figure. He had to fight for Ben's attention because Ben struggled with all three boys on his own but with (Y/n) around she gave him the attention he needed and gave him stability at home. Things not going his way or his home life being unsettled made him uneasy when he was at school so being comfortable at home was making it easier for him at school.

"He needs another figure in his life to calm him down and he said he wants me to be his mum... so I said it was okay." (Y/n) bit down on her lip to stop herself from smiling too widely.

She had yet to even tell her family that she was so close to all the boys, if they ever saw her parents and Carter suddenly called her mum it would be a bit of a shock to her family if she didn't explain things first. But (Y/n) was so happy things had turned out like this rather than how she feared none of the boys would take to her. She thought both Carter and James would be hung up on the fact that they already had their mothers and wanted them not (Y/n) and Finn didn't seem to want a mother in the beginning either.

"Well I think it's great for all of you and James loves you already, and you seem on good terms with Finn despite everything. See, I'm a matchmaker."

"You are a matchmaker, the best one I know... do you think you could help me with something?" The sudden change in tone made Gwilym sit up a bit straighter in his chair and his eyes narrowed when he noticed (Y/n) suddenly looked overly nervous rather than blushing and excited.

"Sure, what's up?" Gwilym scooted his chair a bit closer to (Y/n) and tried to smile calmly, he didn't want her to sit and panic when this could be something rather simple and easy that she was overthinking. He had dealt with Ben when he was in a state after fighting with Carter or when things had gone bad between him and Lucy so for Gwilym this was a walk in the park compared to those type of situations.

(Y/n) entwined her hands together and looked down at her lap for a moment as she held her breath to try and ensure that she didn't start to panic. This wasn't something she wanted or should be panicking about, at least it wasn't something she thought she should be panicking about. But she couldn't help it because she knew how this would go down with everyone else and that made her stomach churn and her chest tighten.

"(Y/n), what is it?" Gwilym reached across and placed his hand over hers when she didn't say anything because she was starting to worry him now.

"I... I don't know what to do because I don't think Ben's reaction will be pleasant." (Y/n) knew Ben well enough by now to be able to assume that his reaction to what was wrong wouldn't be pleasant, it wouldn't be good or happy and (Y/n) knew that. But his reaction was exactly what she was worried about.

"Why not?"

"Because I think I might be pregnant."

[megalony]

Heartbeat- Part 7

Here is the latest part of my dad! Ben Hardy series which I hope you are all enjoying, any feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @ispewglitter​

Series masterlist

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) haven’t been together long when they find out their pregnant. But (Y/n) fears she’ll lose the baby after suffering miscarriages before with her ex, Gwilym who is making things complicated.

Enjoy.

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"You know we don't have to go today, don't you?" Ben pulled a light cream shirt over his head before his eyes focused back on (Y/n) who was stood in front of the mirror. He didn't want her to think that they had to go out to dinner with his parents today, they could always say no.

"No, we're going, she's just a bit restless today." (Y/n) locked eyes with Ben through the mirror as she tied her hair up to keep it out of her eyes but she could see he didn't look convinced. She wanted to go out today, Ben's parents hadn't seen him in a while because he'd been busy it wouldn't be fair to cancel on them now. The baby was just being restless and (Y/n) didn't feel amazing but she wasn't expecting to feel perfect right now. Her back ached, she had a headache and her stomach was tense from their girl wriggling around all night but she would be fine to go out for a few hours.

"You sure? You didn't sleep last night and you don't look that well." Ben walked over to where (Y/n) was standing and looped his arms around her waist. He was smiling but his eyes were full of concern, she looked rather pale and tired, he didn't want (Y/n) to think that they had to go out if she didn't feel up to it.

"Thanks. But I'm okay, I just need a drink and something to eat plus your mum has been waiting ages to see you again so we're going."

"Alright, your the boss." Ben wasn't going to argue it because he knew this wasn't something that he was going to win. He leaned his head at an angle so he could press his lips to her neck causing (Y/n) to smile tiredly. She wanted to go out and she was hungry, staying home wouldn't be very fun and she wasn't sick so there was no point blowing off dinner today. "Someone's happy today." He murmured quietly against her neck before he pressed his hand a bit firmer against the base of (Y/n)'s stomach when he felt a few kicks to his palm.

"She's been happy all night." (Y/n) leaned her head against Ben's for a few moments before she patted his hand and motioned for them to start moving. They had to get going soon if they didn't want to be late for dinner.

(Y/n) rubbed her hand over her stomach a few times when they headed downstairs to get ready. It was such an amazing feeling to finally be able to feel a baby moving and kicking after never getting this far before but now it was like fate was making it up to (Y/n) for all the chances she had missed out on this feeling. Their girl hadn't stopped moving and kicking all night, it was a surreal feeling that (Y/n) knew she would never get used to.

"Alright, if you're sure then let's go before mum calls asking where we are." Ben checked his phone before he stuffed it into his pocket, he knew what his mother was like. If they were two minutes late she would start to get annoyed and panicked and would ring asking if they were on their way or not or if they had forgotten. She was a very punctual person.

"You know she'll end up calling anyway to make sure we're still coming."

The moment they got in the car, (Y/n) tried to keep her back straight to stop it from seizing up and to try and see if sitting straight made her feel a bit more at ease. She pulled down her sleeves over her hands to stop her from biting her nails that had gotten rather short lately and leaned her head against the window for a while. (Y/n) had never really been a fan of long drives and she knew it would take just over half an hour to get to the restaurant to meet Ben's parents. Being in the car for too long gave (Y/n) a headache and made her feel uneasy but they had only been in the car for ten minutes now and she already felt uneasy.

Closing her eyes, (Y/n) tried to listen to the music playing on the radio but it didn't do very much to make her feel any better. She smoothed her hand over her stomach for a few moments before switching and rubbing at her eyes, she didn't know what to do or how to make herself feel any better. She didn't want to turn up to dinner looking like she was ill and sleep deprived.

"Baby, you okay?" Ben turned his head to the right to look over at (Y/n) when he kept catching her shifting around out the corner of his eye like she couldn't get comfy or felt uneasy.

Ben's eyes flickered between the road and (Y/n) for a few seconds but he almost jumped out of his seat when he caught her suddenly jerk forward like she'd been asleep and was shocked awake. His hands tightened on the steering wheel when (Y/n) braced one hand on the door and her other hand pressed to her stomach.

"Stop the car."

"What- why? What's wrong?!" Ben looked back at the road to stop himself from swerving to the side but he couldn't concentrate on the road ahead for more than two seconds before his head turned back in (Y/n)'s direction. He didn't know what was wrong, she seemed uncomfy in her seat and then the next moment she jumped forward like she'd heard a gunshot. He would pull over if she wanted but he had to know what was happening.

"Pull over! It hurts, it r-really hurts." (Y/n) tipped her head down until her chin tucked into her chest like she was trying to pull in on herself and see if it would make her feel any better but she knew it wouldn't.

(Y/n) tried to take deep breaths but it was hard to control her breaths when her stomach suddenly felt like it was twisting itself into knots that she couldn't untangle. She felt the car come to an abrupt stop but (Y/n) couldn't open her eyes or turn her head to look over at Ben, she felt like if she just stayed tucked up like this then the pain might go away and she might somehow feel better.

"(Y/n), what's wrong? Please talk to me I don't know what the fuck to do." Ben tangled one hand in his hair that he pulled on until it felt like a chunk of hair was going to come loose between his fingers. He moved his other hand to rest on (Y/n)'s back but he didn't know how to comfort her or what he was supposed to do when she wasn't talking to him. It didn't take a genius to guess that the problem was her stomach and that frightened the life out of him but her not talking made Ben feel worse.

It felt like forever had passed before (Y/n) slowly tried to straighten up instead of leaning over like she was about to fall into the foot-well but a sudden groan left her lips and Ben could see tears falling from her eyes.

"No... oh no! I- I think my w-water broke!" (Y/n) kept her right hand pressed to her stomach like she was willing the baby to stay right there but her other hand lashed out and smashed into the dashboard before she bowed her head and let out a choked cry. They had roughly seven weeks or more left until they would be at full term and (Y/n) had been praying non-stop that they could get to thirty seven weeks because that meant they wouldn't be at risk of any premature labour or problems that came with it. If they got to thirty seven weeks it would mean that their girl would be healthy and have a good fighting chance of nothing or very little being wrong with her.

"Hey, hey don't do that." Ben kept his left hand on (Y/n)'s back but he reached over with his other hand and quickly grabbed her hand so she wouldn't try and punch the dashboard again. He knew she was in pain but inflicting more pain onto herself wasn't going to make her feel any better or make this easier.

(Y/n) didn't respond but she let Ben pull her back until she was sitting properly in the seat and not hunched over. She pressed her head back into the headrest but all she wanted to do was lash out and kick around and hit something because this wasn't fair. God had something against (Y/n) wanting a baby and he had made it so, so hard for her to get this far and now this was going to be it. (Y/n) didn't mind being punished, she had clearly done something wrong to warrant all her failures at being a mother but now their baby was being punished too.

"We're going to the hospital and I'll call mum on the way and tell her what's happening but remember what the midwife said, this could happen but you're not in labour yet. They might be able to hold off labour for a few days yet."

Ben hurried to get his phone out his pocket and he put it on his leg as he started the car up again. He rang his mum and put it on speaker as he turned around and started to head in the other direction to go to the hospital.

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"Okay, how are we doing in here?"

(Y/n) and Ben both turned their heads to look towards the door when their usual midwife, Alice, walked through the door with a calming smile that wasn't helping (Y/n) very much. Nor was the question she asked which she had to already know the answer for by now. This was not a situation that they wanted to be in and therefore they weren't going to be very happy about it.

"Not good, they've given me steroids b-but you said I'm not in labour." (Y/n) rubbed quickly at her eyes to try and stop herself from crying because her headache was far worse from the tears she had already shed. She didn't want to sit and cry like this but she didn't know what else to do.

They had been here for an hour now and after being assessed Alice said that they weren't in labour yet. But a nurse had put (Y/n) on a drip and on steroids and the steroids implied that they thought she was going to be in labour very soon because they were preparing for when the baby was born.

(Y/n) saw the look Ben was giving her and the way he was biting his lip to try and stop himself from frowning or even crying but she couldn't help it. She felt like they were tiptoeing around her and pretending everything was fine when it wasn't.

"(Y/n), at the moment you're not in labour but we have to take everything into account and the steroids are a precaution." Alice walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed but she could see her words weren't helping and she wished there was something else that she could say which would make them feel better. They had all expected something like this to happen, they had talked it over and right now the best thing to do was to take every precaution and prepare for when (Y/n) did go into labour because it was evidently going to be soon.

"How long do we have to wait then?" (Y/n) bit down on her lower lip until she could taste blood in her mouth but it didn't stop her lips from curving down at the corners or stop her eyes from beginning to well up with tears. (Y/n) knew the outcome of this, she lost a lot of amniotic fluid and that was going to unsettle the baby and if she had more contractions she was eventually going to go into labour. There was no chance of her being able to stay in hospital for a few days or even a week before labour started. It was going to start soon and (Y/n) would rather not play the waiting game when it was never going to last.

"I don't know, honey. Hours, a day, two days, it isn't up to us and we can't give you a time scale. With your previous miscarriages, it was clear that you wouldn't get to full term, having miscarriages makes the odds higher that you'll go into very premature labour. Nothing has to be wrong for that to happen it was expected and I am sorry about that. With you losing your amniotic fluid we've put you on steroids to try and speed up the development of the baby's lungs so she'll be more prepared when she's born."

It was like an unspoken rule that (Y/n) was never going to get to full term or even to thirty seven weeks. Her track history meant that getting this far was a miracle and miscarrying more than once normally led to very premature delivery before thirty four weeks.

(Y/n) had achieved getting to thirty three weeks already and getting this far meant their girl would be a bit more developed and healthier than if she was born a few weeks earlier.

There wasn't very much that (Y/n) could say in response to that so she opted for staying quiet and looking at her hands which were locked together with Ben's very tightly. It felt like she had done something wrong or that she had failed when she knew she wasn't expected to get much further than this point in the pregnancy. Alice had given her a few extra scans and checkups and prescriptions to try and prepare for something like this happening but it still made (Y/n) feel like she failed. She wanted to exceed their expectations, she wanted to make it to thirty seven weeks and give their daughter a better chance, but she couldn't.

"Do you want me to talk you both through what happens when you go into labour?"

Ben looked at (Y/n) for a moment before nodding when she stayed quiet, he could tell she was being silent because if she spoke she would only want to snap and make a rude remark and it wasn't Alice's fault they were here. (Y/n) knew they had to be talked through it very soon because she wasn't going to be pregnant for much longer.

"Okay, well for now you'll be monitored every hour or so to make sure you're still in a stable condition. If your contractions come back and you go into labour you'll be given an injection to make sure her lungs will be prepared for when she's born. If anything happens or she's distressed you might have to have a C-section, but you might sail through. Or, if she becomes distressed anytime before labour a C-section might be an option for her best interests. When she's born she'll be in the ICU, we will check her lungs and her heart for any problems but chances are she will just need a few weeks in an incubator. Does that sound okay?"

(Y/n)'s eyes were tired and bleak and she looked away before she dared nod her head in response. It had to sound okay, that was the plan of action, nothing could be done or changed to it because it was procedure. No matter how many times (Y/n) complained or said she didn't want to go into labour or have a C-section, no one could change that because this was how things were going to plan out.

She just hoped things would work in their favour and make sure their baby girl would be okay.

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"I know you don't believe me, but she's gonna be okay." Ben smoothed his thumb over the back of (Y/n)'s hand as he hunched over slightly in his seat to be more level with (Y/n). He knew she wasn't going to truly believe his words even if they managed to calm her down a little, but that was okay. He wanted to try and calm (Y/n) down because the worry was pooling in her eyes and it made Ben's heart drop to his stomach.

"She'd be better if I could hang on a few more weeks, maybe a few more days at least." (Y/n) looked down at Ben's hand and slowly traced the pad of her finger over his knuckles where the skin was dry and slightly cracked in places. She couldn't look him in the eyes as she spoke because she knew he wouldn't agree with what she was saying which made sense to her.

(Y/n) didn't care if their girl might be fine when she was born, (Y/n) cared that if she could only hold off labour for another few weeks then their girl would be perfect. She would be fine and healthy and in no danger like she was now.

"She might have been better in a few weeks but that doesn't mean she won't be alright now. You got her this far when you kept saying you wouldn't get past twenty four weeks."

"I wanted the doctors to find something."

"What do you mean, baby?" Ben leaned his head a bit closer to (Y/n) and moved his free hand to tilt her chin up so she was looking at him. She was laid on her side on the bed with her knees curled up to her stomach like she wanted to go to sleep but was too riled up to dare think about sleep.

"I think if... if I knew what was wrong with me, it might be easier to accept that I shouldn't be a mother. Other women know, they get told that their tubes are blocked or their cervix is too small or they just can't support a baby to full term. Wouldn't knowing something like that be easier than being told your fine but can't do it anyway?"

Ben looked away for a moment, rubbing at his jaw as he felt the tears starting to fall down his features.

(Y/n) wanted to be told something was wrong with her because that would be easier to cope with. Other women got told why they couldn't have a baby or why they kept miscarrying and even though it would be hard knowing something was wrong with her, (Y/n) knew it would be easier. She felt like she was running a marathon. She was a runner in the race and everyone kept telling her she was fine but she couldn't keep up with everyone else and kept falling. There was no reason why she couldn't carry a baby but her body just didn't seem to want to do it no matter what her heart and mind said.

"I think that would be easier, baby, it would probably put your mind at ease. But does it matter now if there may be something wrong or not? We're having a baby girl soon and even if you can't get to full term, you've made it so that she will be okay if she's born now. Once she's here, will it matter if there was ever something wrong?"

It may be easier to know for certain that something might be wrong but Ben knew that once they had their baby, it wouldn't matter. (Y/n) wouldn't need or have the urge to find out if something was wrong because she would have the baby she'd always yearned for. Knowing what was wrong wouldn't make any difference to (Y/n) because she wouldn't need to know.

If she never had a baby then knowing would be the one thing (Y/n) wanted in life. She would want to know what was holding her back from being a mother and stealing that chance away from her. But whatever the reason, it hadn't held her back anymore.

"It might matter to her because I haven't looked after her-"

"No, no it won't. Why would she be upset when she'll know you love her and look after her with everything you have?"

(Y/n) managed a small smile when she felt Ben reaching over to gently graze his free hand over her stomach like he was reassuring her that it would be okay and the baby was never going to care about this chat. Moving her hand, (Y/n) brought Ben's and closer until she could press their hands to her chest, tucked under her chin like she wanted to keep them safe.

Silence fell around them for a few minutes, nothing else needed to be said for the time being and the silence was nice. They had been here for six hours now and had been going in periods of a lot of talking and then dipping into silence.

The silence felt nice, it felt calming and comforting because there was no one rushing around, no one shouting orders or trying to calm everyone down and say what was going on. It gave them both time to just sit and think and there was nothing they had to say right now. (Y/n) could have almost fallen asleep with the silence if it weren't for the hundreds of thoughts running around in her head.

(Y/n) could almost feel her eyes starting to close, but they opened rather suddenly and locked with Ben when a noise hit her ears. She watched Ben straighten up in his seat but the look in his eyes showed he didn't know what the noise was or what it meant either.

Moving her arm, (Y/n) pushed herself up so she was leaning up on her hand rather than laying on her side but her head turned to look at the door when Alice and another midwife suddenly hurried into the room.

"What's wrong?"

"Alright, (Y/n) can you lay back down on your left side please?"

(Y/n) could hear the heartbeat monitor picking up and she could feel her heart hammering in her chest because something clearly wasn't right. She slowly laid back down on her side again when Alice rested a hand on her shoulder to urge her to do so. Her eyes locked with Ben who seemed perplexed, unsure whether to stay sat where he was or to get up and do something or move out the way but he seemed frozen to the spot.

"It can't be labour, I- I'm not having contractions." (Y/n) moved her hand to her stomach like she was reassuring herself she wasn't in any pain. She wasn't on painkillers or any meds other than steroids and an IV drip so if (Y/n) had contractions she would know about it. And she felt fine, nothing felt wrong or off she felt better than she did earlier today.

"No, you're not in labour, the baby seems to be distressed, her heartbeat is getting too low most likely from the lack of fluid. We're going to have to do an emergency C-section."

"Ben..."

"Hey, it's okay I promise. She's coming now and she's gonna be fine and looked after, it's okay." Ben's voice was soothing and when he leaned over to kiss her temple he moved his hand to hold hers again but they were both shaking.

(Y/n) snapped her eyes closed and tilted her head down to stop a groan or a whimper from leaving her lips. This was the kind of luck (Y/n) just knew she was bound to get. She wasn't in labour, she was fine herself but now their baby girl was getting distressed and it was (Y/n)'s fault. Her body was pushing for labour and now she was making the baby unsettled and in danger.

If they tried to give the baby something to calm her down or pick up her heartbeat they could overwhelm her and if they didn't give her anything and just waited her heartbeat could stop and they could lose her.

She had to be born now.

[megalony]

Growing soft

This is a Ben Hardy mini-series I am going to be working on, based off of a request from the lovely @storiesfrommirkwood​ I hope you all like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem​ @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid​ @jennyggggrrr​ @rogermeddow​ @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me​ @peterquillzsblog​

Ben Hardy masterlist

Part 2

Summary: Ben has always been set on the idea of not having kids, but when (Y/n) becomes a surrogate for Gwilym and his wife, Ben wonders if he really is sure about no kids after all.

Enjoy.

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"Are you sure you want to do this?" Despite the apprehension and concern in his voice, there was no denying the small surge of anticipation and excitement that could be heard in Gwilym's voice. He was trying very hard not to let that excitement get the better of him in case this didn't end up going in the direction they were hoping for, but he couldn't dull it down completely.

His hand tightened around the glass resting on the table but it did nothing to stop the way his whole frame was beginning to jitter from nerves. They had never gotten this close before, they'd never reached this point in all the other times they had tried and somehow it just seemed too good to be true.

"I'm sure."

Those two little words made Gwilym's heart feel like it was rising into his throat and caused a huge swarm of butterflies to erupt in his chest like his body was being pumped full of helium and he was rising to the ceiling. He knew there was still a long way to go and things could happen and go wrong along that journey, but the fact was this journey was finally taking off. They were no longer planning and daydreaming about this, it was actually happening. All because of (Y/n).

Lifting her eyes from her glass that her fingers very lightly tracing around, (Y/n) couldn't help the way she began to shake from the bubbling excitement inside of her like she was about to explode. A grin slowly but surely took over her features and a laugh escaped her lips when she looked at two of her closest friends sitting opposite her at the table.

The pure joy she could see in Amy's eyes was nothing like she had ever seen before and her smile widened as she watched Amy's arms wrap around Gwilym's bicep and she shook his arm like she was desperate for his attention.

"We're having a baby." Amy whispered the words in ecstasy to the man sitting beside her before her eyes darted over to (Y/n). Without even thinking, she reached across the table and took (Y/n)'s hand very tightly in her own to the point she was cutting off her circulation to show her just how happy and thankful she was for what (Y/n) was about to do for them.

Amy and Gwilym had tried for a year after getting married to have a baby before switching to IVF but every effort had either been dashed or ended in heartache. Needless to say, it had been a harsh blow to the stomach when they had to come to the conclusion that having a baby of their own wasn't going to happen naturally. But they just couldn't think about adopting until they'd explored every possibility and their last effort was a surrogate.

Having someone else go through the pregnancy for them wasn't what Amy had initially wanted, she wanted to be the one to experience the scans and the kicks and the labour. But this was the only way she and Gwilym were going to get a child of their own.

They'd talked with three other people before (Y/n) had offered to help and now it seemed like they were going to get their wish.

"What about Ben? Is he gonna be okay with all of this?" Gwilym's smile dimmed down just a little when his friend suddenly came to the front of his mind. Gwilym knew Ben well, he knew he could be both laid back and passionate and involved in everything at the same time and he knew Ben had different views and opinions and was broad minded. But he had no clue how Ben would react to this kind of situation, after all it was his wife who would be having a baby for someone else.

"We've talked about it and he's completely fine with this, I swear. He even said he'd come to the scans, so..." (Y/n) trailed off with a shrug of her shoulders and a small but gentle smile on her lips.

She knew what she was walking into here and everything that would come with this.

She would be going through nine months of changes and then labour, all to end up without a baby, but that was okay with her. (Y/n) also knew it was going to be in the media a lot when people eventually found out she was pregnant but then realised after the birth she wouldn't be walking around with a baby at the end of things. It would be awkward for Ben too if he had interviews during the pregnancy and ended up telling people it wasn't really his or (Y/n)'s baby.

But (Y/n) wanted this, badly.

Ben didn't want kids. He didn't feel he would be a bad father, he actually liked kids and was great with his niece and nephews and he knew he would be a good dad. But it simply wasn't what he saw for his future, at first he put it off because he wanted to focus on his career but now it just wasn't what he wanted. Ben liked things as they were, he liked being married to (Y/n) without kids in the mix and he liked travelling and working a lot, kids didn't come into the dynamic at the moment and he wanted to keep it that way. He had no need or craving for kids like his friends all did.

(Y/n) knew from the beginning that kids wasn't likely to happen for her and Ben and that was okay. She and Ben were busy, they had work and they did a lot of travelling together and it was nice, just the two of them so she tried her best not to think too much about not having kids.

But (Y/n) couldn't deny to herself that she wanted a baby someday, and giving Gwilym and Amy a child was the perfect situation. Ben didn't have to worry about changes or think about kids because the baby wasn't theirs and (Y/n) knew things would be the same after the baby was born. She could experience a pregnancy like she always wanted and give herself a small taste of motherhood as well as the satisfaction that she had helped her closest friends in the best way she possibly could.

It was a win win situation for everybody.

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"Baby, you okay?" A soft smile formed on Ben's lips when his eyes found (Y/n) standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Ben placed his cup down on the counter he was leaning against before he straightened up instead of being slouched over the counter.

(Y/n) didn't look upset or confused or hurt but she did look a little off, like there was something playing on her mind and she felt she had to talk about it. The smallest, kindest of smiles pulled at her lips and it made Ben's heart both melt and jump at the same time. He couldn't tell if her smile meant she was okay or if there was actually something wrong she was trying to dull down or ignore. His eyes watched her contently as she leaned her head against the door frame and crossed one leg over the other in a manner that always managed to capture his full attention without meaning to. A few seconds passed without any words before (Y/n) sighed and moved one of her arms that had previously been held behind her back.

"It worked." (Y/n)'s smile turned to one of both worry and nerves as she placed the positive pregnancy test on the counter for Ben to see.

(Y/n) had been more than surprised when she first brought up the subject to Ben and he seemed almost absolutely fine with it. He admitted it was going to be weird if (Y/n) decided to go through with it but he was by no means opposed to the idea. It was her body and her decision and Ben thought it was one of the most generous things for (Y/n) to do for Gwilym and Amy.

The smile that formed on Ben's lips relieved a weight that was beginning to press down on (Y/n)'s chest and when he motioned for her to come over to him, she obliged immediately. Walking the small distance over to where he was standing, (Y/n) pushed her head into his chest as her arms bound around his torso. Shivers ran down her spine when his arms wrapped around her and she felt him kissing her temple but he was smiling into the kiss.

In all honesty, (Y/n) hadn't expected to get pregnant the first time around, they had all been told that it had a probability of not working on the first go. But she was relieved that it had worked, she didn't fancy having to try again and again until the embryo finally started to form. The quicker this whole process went the better it would be. (Y/n) knew there was still a long way to go since she was only two months pregnant and there could be any number of complications or she could lose the baby. But she was going to relish in the relief and delight she was feeling right now.

She couldn't wait to see Gwilym and Amy and tell them the good news.

"Are you sure you're okay with all this? It's not going to be easy or very fun..." (Y/n) tilted her head up until she could rest her chin on Ben's chest in order to look at him properly.

"Sweetheart, I promise you that this is okay with me. I may not want kids of my own, but this isn't our baby, I've got nothing against you doing this." At the end of the day, Ben couldn't tell (Y/n) what she could or couldn't do with her body, he would never dream of doing that. He knew she was giving him a lot of say in this decision because it involved him and they were married, but it didn't affect Ben.

Ben may not want kids himself but he had nothing against kids or babies in general, he was very good with the children in their family. He thought t was admirable to have a baby considering all of the things it would put a woman's body through. It just wasn't something he could see for himself.

This wasn't their baby and he didn't think of it as if it was their child. They didn't have to get anything prepared or buy and baby clothes or change their lives for this, it was just nine months of a few moderate changes. Ben thought it was both admirable and brave of (Y/n) to put herself through this all for someone else so they could be happy. There were far too many people who wouldn't even consider being a surrogate to help others out.

Leaning up on her toes, (Y/n) moved her arms that were previously around Ben's waist so she could cup his face and press her lips to his own. She had known from the beginning that Ben wouldn't be angry or annoyed or downright refuse her doing this, but it made her heart explode knowing just how easygoing he was about this and how caring he was. Ben wasn't the slightest bit uncomfortable or resentful or put off about this and that was more than she could ever ask of him in this situation.

After all, he was going through this process with her, Ben was going to see his wife have a baby for someone else and that wasn't exactly normal or an everyday occurrence.

"Thank you." (Y/n)'s voice was quiet and gentle and a genuine smile formed on her lips when they pulled back. She brushed her thumb over his cheek as she felt his hands moving to hold her hips. They stayed like that for a few minutes in a peaceful silence until (Y/n) pressed another kiss to his lips before eventually pulling away so she could go and get a drink.

Ben turned around and leaned his back against the counter before he picked up his coffee, his eyes following (Y/n) as she headed over to the fridge.

"I'll have to book the twelve week scan soon." (Y/n) mused quietly whilst she grabbed the juice and got a cup from the cupboard on her left. Thinking about the scans really made it sink in that this was happening but (Y/n) didn't quite know how to feel about this. Growing up she had always told herself she didn't want kids but that had changed when she got older. When she married Ben she was fine with not having kids and now she could have the experience just once, even if she wouldn't get a baby at the end of it.

It was going to be weird going to scans and having to remember it wasn't really her baby she was having. It shared none of her DNA and none of Ben's either, it was Gwilym and Amy's baby that they had longed for since they first got together.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Ben noticed the way (Y/n)'s hand tightened around her glass like she thought it was about to slip through her fingers before she spun round on her heels to face him.

When they had first discussed this and Ben had said it was fine with him, he had offered to go along to any scans or checkups so (Y/n) wasn't doing it alone. (Y/n) had already talked about this kind of thing with Gwilym and Amy and they had agreed when (Y/n) asked if she could go to the scans alone. She would obviously tell them all the updates and give them the scan photos and such, but she wanted to do it on her own. It would feel too awkward with them there and they had said that it was perfectly fine because this was (Y/n)'s experience too and they didn't want to make it uncomfortable for her.

But when Ben first offered to come along, (Y/n) didn't think he was serious or that he would actually go through with it. She thought he was trying to be supportive but when the time came, he might feel too awkward to actually come along.

When (Y/n) turned around to face him, she saw the genuine look in his eyes and the almost cheeky smile on his lips showed he wasn't messing her around or asking out of nervousness or because he thought he should. He genuinely wanted to if she wanted him there.

"Really?"

"I can't have you going alone, what will the doctor think?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, if you'd like to take a seat we can take a look at your little one." The slightly aged but very bright midwife moved her hand to gesture to the bed she wanted (Y/n) to lie on before she moved to set up the monitor.

Both (Y/n) and Ben shared a silent but knowing look between them before they walked over to go and sit down. It had already been agreed between the couple that if the midwife or doctors didn't know about this being a surrogate pregnancy, they wouldn't correct them. It would waste too much time and be too annoying to have to explain that this wasn't their baby, it was actually their friend's baby they were just 'looking after' temporarily.

(Y/n) knew it was going to be so much easier to just turn up to scans and checkups with Ben and just pretend this was their baby. It saved a lot of hassle and awkwardness.

Moving over to the bed, (Y/n) sat up and stretched her legs out whilst Ben sat down on the seat next to her. When she turned to look at him, (Y/n) could see the curiosity in his eyes that were flitting between her and the monitor. He'd never been in this position before and he never imagined that he would be, but he couldn't deny that it made his stomach burst with adrenaline.

Ben watched (Y/n) roll her shirt up but when he noticed her dragging her nails across the bed she was lying on, he reached over and took her hand. He could see the nervousness rattling through her whole body to the point she was almost shaking and he knew why.

Gwilym and Amy had been waiting for this moment for years and they truly didn't think this would ever happen. Ben could see how nervous (Y/n) was in case the midwife told her that there was a problem or she'd lost the baby or had had a phantom pregnancy. She didn't want to upset or let her friends down and it was making her panic when she had no reason to.

(Y/n) barely felt the cold gel pressing onto her stomach, her eyes simply zoomed in on the monitor and waited for the black and grey picture to become as clear as it would to her untrained eyes. This had to of worked, she didn't want to go back to the hospital to try again, she didn't want to feel the disappointment or grief and she certainly didn't want to see her friends heartbroken at her failure.

"There's your baby."

Ben couldn't feel his chest moving or any breaths leaving his lips when those three little words hit his ears. They felt so odd in his mind because this wasn't his baby, it wasn't even (Y/n)'s baby despite her carrying it. But those words made his heart clench so tightly he thought for a brief moment that he was having some kind of heart attack.

This wasn't their baby... but what if it was?

What if they had been sitting here waiting for their baby to come on the screen, what if they were actually seeing their own baby on that screen?

Ben had never thought about it like this before, he'd always just had a feeling or a knowing sense that he didn't want kids. He loved (Y/n) to the ends of the Earth and he didn't feel a yearning for a baby, he just liked it being the two of them. But there was something about the small little blip on the screen that was tugging at his heartstrings. He couldn't help but wonder what this would all be like if they weren't here solely for Gwilym and Amy.

It never escaped Ben's notice that (Y/n) was in two minds about children. He could always see how on some occasions she looked at kids and it just didn't click in her mind, she didn't feel anything. But then other times, on small occasions, he could see that yearning in her eyes that he'd never felt before... until now.

Why was that one little blip on the screen making Ben question something he thought he knew for certain?

[megalony]

Heartbeat- Part 6

I know it has taken me a while to get back to this Ben Hardy story but I finally managed to finish this next part which I hope you will all enjoy. There is some fluff and confliction ahead, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @ispewglitter​

Series masterlist

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) haven’t been together long when they find out their pregnant. But (Y/n) fears she’ll lose the baby after suffering miscarriages before with her ex, Gwilym who is making things complicated.

Enjoy.

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Ben didn't know what woke him up at such an early hour in the morning, but he could sense and feel that something wasn't quite right. He laid on his back, his eyes trying to make out the patterns on the ceiling through the darkness as he felt his mind very slowly beginning to wake up and come around. But when he started to become aware of his surroundings, Ben realised why he must have woken up so suddenly like this.

(Y/n) was mumbling something.

For a few seconds, all Ben could think of was that she was talking to someone quietly on the phone because all the times they had slept together, Ben had never known (Y/n) to sleep talk or mumble or make a sound in her sleep. But when Ben looked over at her, he noticed she wasn't really speaking, it was soft murmurs leaving her lips suggesting she wasn't awake and talking on the phone or to herself.

Reaching over he turned on the bedside lamp to try and get a better look at (Y/n) laid beside him. He'd never known her to talk or mumble in her sleep like this and she never normally had any vivid kind of dreams that she acted out. But right now she was mumbling something he couldn't make out and she was laid on her back which was unusual for her. She had both arms wrapped around her stomach and her knees pulled up like she was in some kind of pain, but Ben couldn't tell if it was pain or the dream making her distressed like this.

When (Y/n)'s features scrunched up like she was in pain, Ben delicately placed his hand on her shoulder, trying carefully to wake her up without causing her any further distress.

"Baby... baby wake up. You're okay, it's okay."

Ben jolted almost as harshly as (Y/n) did when her eyes opened and frantically scanned around until they found his. Her breathing was fast and erratic and for a moment it was like she didn't know where she was.

The frantic look in (Y/n)'s eyes didn't disappear, it seemed to increase when tears started to fall down her features but the moment her hand pressed to her stomach Ben saw it, she looked like she had shocked herself. She started to shake and her breathing got worse to the point he didn't think she was really breathing at all.

Moving his hands, he cupped her face and smoothed his thumbs over her cheeks to try and calm her down.

"Shh, hey just breathe with me, in and out." Ben tried to get (Y/n) to copy his breathing but even though she managed to breathe better, she still looked confused. Whatever she had been dreaming about, she had been stuck in very deep to the point she still wasn't out of the dream yet.

"T-the baby..." (Y/n) didn't know what she was asking or trying to say to Ben but she worried him all the same. He pulled back just enough to be able to look at her baby bump, wondering for a moment if she was in pain or thought something was wrong. He very slowly and cautiously placed his hand over her own that was pressed against her stomach like she was trying to press down and touch the baby or reassure herself that their daughter was really there.

"She's right here, love."

His words didn't calm her down, if anything they made (Y/n)'s tears fall faster as she moved her hands to press down on the bed so she could try and push herself so she was sitting up in bed. Ben moved back so he could sit up properly before helping (Y/n) to sit up, it took a lot out of him to stop himself from crying at how broken and unsettled she seemed, especially when he didn't understand why.

"The blood, t-there's so much blood." (Y/n) wiped the tears from her eyes before she threw the cover off her frame, running her shaking hands over her legs before looking at the bed. The word 'blood' passed through her lips again and Ben could see the way she was tracing the bed sheet like she thought it would be soaked with blood.

"Baby... there's no blood. You're not bleeding, you're fine I promise you." Ben traced his own fingers over the sheets as if to prove his point before his saddened, worried eyes locked with her own as he waited to see what her reaction would be. "Look, she's still here with us, you're both fine it was just a dream."

Ben moved his hand back to her stomach and started tracing small designs over her skin, trying to prove that he wasn't lying. Nothing had happened to either of them during the night, they hadn't lost their girl and (Y/n) was fine, she wasn't bleeding or in any danger or pain, both his girls were okay. (Y/n) just had some kind of bad dream that was affecting her.

(Y/n) took Ben by surprise when she suddenly pushed herself forward until her head was tucked into Ben's neck and her arms were wrapped around his shoulders. When he wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her closer (Y/n) felt like she was both panicking yet calming down at the same time.

"I- I remembered... the bleeding w-wouldn't stop, it was the furthest I'd got..."

Ben turned his head so he could kiss (Y/n)'s temple, holding her just a bit tighter to try and reassure her she was okay.

Now he understood.

She'd dreamt of when she lost her baby at fourteen weeks, that was when she said the bleeding wouldn't stop for days and Gwilym had to take her to hospital. (Y/n) had never gotten this far in a pregnancy, she'd never gotten to seven months before and it was unnerving her because she knew something could happen at any point and she could lose the baby.

"I d-don't want to lose her-"

"We won't. We've gotten this far and nothing's happened, trust me she's gonna be fine. Our perfect girl."

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Raking her fingers through her hair, (Y/n) quickly gathered up the strands and tied a band around her hair to keep it from her features as she made her way over to the door. She hummed a tune as she headed down the hall, wondering who was here. Ben wasn't home so it was unlikely someone was here to see him, they weren't expecting anyone or any deliveries or family or friends over. And (Y/n) couldn't think of anyone who would come to see her considering many of her friends didn't know her new address yet since she had moved in with Ben.

The random melody that (Y/n) was humming abruptly stopped the moment she unlocked the door and looked at who was standing there on the other side of the threshold.

"Gwil." She breathed through the name she didn't want to say anymore due to the memories it provoked.

What was he doing here? Was he here to see Ben, did he know that (Y/n) was living here now and that was the reason he was here? Why would he want to come and talk to (Y/n) considering that the last time they properly spoke it was to argue about how he found out about the baby.

"Hey, can I come in?"

"Ben isn't here."

"That's good, because it's you I'm here to see." He looked rather boyish and if not shy with the way he stuffed his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders, looking up at (Y/n) through his lashes with his chin tilted down. It was as if he was afraid she was going to shut the door in his face or shout and tell him to leave. (Y/n) half felt like slamming the door and leaving him there after what had been said between them over the past few months. But Gwilym didn't look angry or hurt or like he was here to start a fight and (Y/n) didn't want anymore fights or hardship between them.

(Y/n) forced a small smile before she pulled the door open all the way to allow him inside. She knew Gwilym knew his way around, he had been to Ben's place before but she saw the way he looked around the hall as he walked in. He looked around like he expected everything to be different or changed because (Y/n) was here, he seemed to think she would waltz right in and change the decor or add pictures or paint the whole house.

"Why are you here?" (Y/n) tried her best not to sound rude or inconsiderate but she didn't want to beat around the bush when they both sat down on the sofa. She wanted to know what he was here for and what they were going to be talking about because she was unnerved that he was here.

(Y/n) didn't know how to act around Gwilym anymore or what she was meant to say or do. Everything felt tainted and wrong and she felt awful that things between them were rocky and uneven but she couldn't change the past and she wouldn't want to. (Y/n) didn't want to change anything with Gwilym but she also didn't want to change what happened with Ben either. Even though things had gone a bit wrong along the way, this was how their lives were planning out and it wasn't all that bad.

"I wanted to see how you are... and to try and patch things up. I knew you wouldn't answer if I rang and I'm not exactly on speaking terms with Ben either." Gwilym rubbed at the back of his neck in a way he always did when he got nervous about something.

"I'm doing okay, but there is a reason we wouldn't answer your calls... Ben told me what you said at the bar and you were pretty angry when I tried talking to you about it."

There was no beating around the bush on this subject. The reason (Y/n) and Ben didn't answer Gwilym's calls or texts was because the last time they had both spoken to him it had ended in arguments. Ben rarely ever lost his temper but on that occasion in the pub he had almost started a fight with Gwilym and after that (Y/n) tried calling him but they only ended in another fight. It seemed easier to just try and ignore his calls and forget about the arguing than to try and make amends which didn't seem or feel at all possible.

"I know, I know what I said and it was wrong, but I was upset. A baby is the reason we broke up and then I found out you were having a baby with him, you didn't even tell me."

"We broke up because we weren't working anymore, it wasn't just about a baby and me and Ben weren't trying for a baby I never led him on like that."

"It felt like you didn't want me to know-"

"Ben wanted to tell you but truthfully I didn't. We were going to tell you but then you found out but I knew the moment you found out this would happen. You would think I was using Ben to my advantage and dumping you because it wasn't working for us."

(Y/n) wasn't stupid, she knew that no amount of time was ever going to help if she did decide to have a baby in the future. Whether it was now or years into the future it was always going to hurt Gwilym if she managed to have a baby because they tried so hard to make it work and it never did. But (Y/n) knew having a baby with Ben so soon after leaving Gwilym was going to make him think she had broken off their engagement so she could find someone else to have a baby with.

"I only said that because I was hurt. I watched you go to all those hospital appointments and come out crying, I sat with you when you took every test and I drove you to hospital when you were so sick I thought you were dying. Then suddenly your pregnant with my friend and you're perfectly fine like you never miscarried at all."

"And that's my fault that this time I haven't lost the baby? Like I planned it out perfectly? Do you know how badly that scared me, that every single time with you I was incapable of doing something every other woman can do and then on the seventh time it worked? And you were the one who hurt me by telling Ben about my miscarriages which should have been my decision to make."

(Y/n) never chose to lose any of the pregnancies with Gwilym, she didn't plan this perfectly so that this one time with Ben would work, it was such horrid yet twistedly perfect luck that (Y/n) seemed fine to have a baby this time around.

As soon as (Y/n) got past the fourteen week marker she knew something was different. It was scary to think that after being with Gwilym for years and losing six pregnancies with him, all (Y/n) had to do was be with Ben for four months and she could get pregnant and have almost nothing go wrong. She knew how that would cut through Gwilym like a knife.

"That was a decision you wouldn't have made and he had to know. What if you lost the baby and were ill again, you were told by the doctor not to try and conceive and even if this wasn't planned you're still putting yourself in harms way. If Ben didn't know and something happened to you I don't think he would forgive you for not telling him."

"That doesn't give you the right to make him suspicious and tell him Gwil. If I told Ben outright from the beginning I'd lost six pregnancies or that the last one hospitalised me that would be it, it wouldn't be my decision to have a baby anymore. He would have told me he wasn't taking the risk like you did and I would have lost any future chance of having a baby with him. I'm not with him to get a baby but it's my choice if I want to take the risk, not yours."

If (Y/n) didn't want to tell Ben it was her decision and if she wanted to wait that was up to her too but Gwilym forced her hand even if he thought he was doing right by her and Ben.

It was clear as day that had Ben of known from the off, he wouldn't have agreed to having any kids with (Y/n). He would have used protection so it couldn't happen because it was a risk to her health and her life and Ben wouldn't take that risk. Ben wouldn't have kids in the future with (Y/n) and he still wasn't going to now after this baby, if (Y/n) said from the beginning then this baby now wouldn't be here. She would be robbed of the chance of being a mother even though the risk was hers to take, not Gwilym's or Ben's.

Ben might of thought that (Y/n) had planned this out as well by not telling him and getting pregnant but (Y/n) thanked the stars that Ben knew and believed that she wasn't trying to use him in any way and that she didn't plan this out.

"Alright, I'm sorry I just... I care about you, I love you and I was scared that this pregnancy would hurt or kill you. And it pains me to see that you're managing to have a baby with someone else, but I am happy for you. I want to put everything behind us and be friends, I don't want to fight anymore."

(Y/n) tipped her head down and rubbed at her tired eyes, trying to rid herself of the headache forming behind her eyes that were welling up with tears. He couldn't say that, he couldn't say after everything that he loved her because he shouldn't. (Y/n) had hurt him by breaking things off with him because she didn't love him anymore and she had hurt him further by falling for his friend and having a baby with him. Gwilym shouldn't love her after everything and he couldn't say he did because that wasn't fair to any of them.

"Then you shouldn't tell me you love me because you-" (Y/n) brought her hand to her mouth and bit down on her thumb when the sound of the front door caught her attention.

"Who loves you?" There was a playful tone to Ben's voice that made (Y/n)'s eyes well with fear as she couldn't bring herself to come up with a response.

Her eyes locked with Gwilym's who looked a mix between calm and terrified because they both knew Ben wasn't going to be very nice when he walked in and saw who was here and put the pieces together. It was as if Gwilym was scared of what was coming but he was still rather calm like he was expecting this to happen sooner or later.

(Y/n) saw the exact moment Ben's face fell, going from a smile to pursed lips and a tight jaw when his teeth bit down tightly on the corner of his lips. His eyes looked bleak and his brows narrowed on Gwilym who tried to keep eye contact but it didn't last for more than a few seconds at most.

"I should have guessed." A sinister, crude grin pulled at Ben's lips for a few seconds as he cocked a brow at Gwilym like he wanted him to challenge him or apologise or just say something so Ben could bite back at him. "You just can't help yourself, can you?"

"Maybe I should go-"

"Why are you even here in the first place?" Ben snapped back like a crocodile taking a shot at its prey. He stood beside the side of the sofa (Y/n) was sitting on but he felt awkward in his own home like he had walked in on something and should leave.

"Ben, it's- it's okay, he wanted to talk and sort things out."

"What, and telling you he loves you sorts this out? I thought that would complicate things and make them worse but maybe I should just go instead." Ben couldn't fathom how Gwilym saying he still loves (Y/n) would sort this mess out, it made things worse rather than building the bridges that had been burned between them all. But maybe Ben was missing something or he shouldn't be here and should just let them work this out.

"No, it doesn't sort this out and maybe I shouldn't have just said that but I can't lie and say I don't still love her."

"But you can't come here and say that. Do you honestly think telling her you still love her with make a difference or make things better? You were out of order practically shouting at her down the phone and implying to both of us you thought she was playing me but then to come round and say you love her is cruel."

Ben didn't care why Gwilym said the things he did or how this had affected him because what he was saying and doing weren't okay. He couldn't keep telling (Y/n) he loved her and then be angry with her, he knew she didn't love him and he knew that he had no chance of being with her when she was happy with Ben and was having a baby. If he wanted to be on good terms with her and Ben he had to stop this now.

"I've already tried talking to (Y/n) about this I don't want to argue with either of you and what I said was wrong I know that but I can't take back what I said when I was hurt-"

"I don't give a shit what you've already said, you're sorry for what you said but you wouldn't accept me or (Y/n) saying we were sorry for hurting you by being together. You're a hypocrite and a lovesick puppy Gwil and if you want to be on good terms your going about it in the wrong way."

"Ben that's enough."

(Y/n) sighed through her words before she pushed herself up from the sofa and moved to stand beside Ben like she thought he was going to lunge at Gwilym any second now. What he said made sense but Gwilym was here to make amends and (Y/n) was sick of the fighting and the arguments and the pain they were causing each other. She just wanted it to stop and another fight wasn't going to make things any better.

"Gwil, I think it's time you left. If you want to make amends then you have to move on." (Y/n) knew that the only way they could all make things better was for them to keep the past behind them. She and Ben weren't blameless but they were trying and if Gwilym tried to move on too he would find things so much easier. He could move on with someone else and be happy and they could all try and be civil with each other.

Gwilym nodded and stood to his feet, moving around the sofa to head in the direction of the front door but his expression made (Y/n) rather worried. He had something to say, something on his mind and although he was usually good at biting his tongue and dropping and not starting arguments, it seemed to be rather hard for him to do that today. He got into the hallway and close to the door before he turned to look at (Y/n), knowing she was following to walk him out.

"It feels near impossible to move on after everything we went through and it's harder than I ever thought it would be to try and move on when I know you've finally got the family you wanted without me. I feel like you've left me behind, but I know I can't expect you to understand that, given how quickly you decided to move on and how easy you found it to be with someone else. You may not have intended to have the baby but you certainly got what you wanted."

He knew it was wrong to be angry that (Y/n) was finally able to have the baby she had wanted but it hurt to know she could have that wish without him and with someone Gwilym was close to.

"I think there's a reason for that."

Gwilym had been so close, he had opened the door and was so close to walking out and not looking back or letting this form into another argument but when he heard Ben's voice he had to stop and look over his shoulder. He had to know what Ben was referring to before he left, just like a fish, Gwilym took the bait Ben was throwing his way.

"What?"

Ben looked down at (Y/n) who was stood in front of him and it was as if she knew what he was going to say. There was a warning look in her eyes and she shook her head, they didn't need an argument but Ben was too riled up to stop now.

"Think about it. All those years with you and all the times you tried for a baby and it never worked. Then (Y/n) got with me and look where we are. No doctor could find anything wrong with her and we didn't even have to fucking try to get pregnant. I'd say that means there's something wrong with you if all it takes is a few months with me to have a baby."

A shudder ran down (Y/n)'s spine at Ben's rather cruel words towards Gwilym but she would be wrong if she said she didn't think about that even once during this pregnancy. Deep down (Y/n) was sure there had to be something wrong because she lost each pregnancy without cause and even this time she lost a twin even if nothing else had gone wrong during this pregnancy.

But Ben was right when he said that they didn't even have to try to get pregnant or have this pregnancy work. With Gwilym they tried hard to have a baby and make sure nothing went wrong but they could never prevent any of the miscarriages.

"Don't you dare go down that road-"

"Why not? It's a fair assumption considering there isn't anything wrong with (Y/n) because that means it should probably be you, right? If all it took to have a viable pregnancy was me then she should have fucked me years ago and saved you the trouble."

(Y/n) took a step back when Gwilym slammed the door shut out of anger and Ben took a few steps closer to him like he wanted a fight but his head briefly turned to look at (Y/n) when she grabbed his arm. She was not having a fight break out no matter how angry any of them were, it wasn't worth it and she wasn't in the mood to play referee. What Ben said was cruel and out of order just like what Gwilym had said before about (Y/n) and she had been wrong in wanting to wait to tell Gwilym about the baby. They had all been and were all wrong at some point but it had to stop now.

"That is enough! Gwilym, you need to leave. Now. And you need to go and cool off because that was uncalled for and beyond cruel."

The moment Gwilym left and slammed the door so harshly behind him that it almost came off its hinges, (Y/n) took a moment to catch her breath before she dared to follow Ben who had stormed into the kitchen in a rage. He was stood leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen, a look of unfiltered anger on his face that (Y/n) had never seen before.

"Why did you have to say that? He may have been wrong about saying he loved me but there was no need for you to say something like that."

"I said it because I think it's true." Ben folded his arms over his chest, leaning his hips back against the counter as his head turned to the side to look over at (Y/n) with raised brows. His response seemed to have taken her by surprise, but not in a good way. "He was spiteful when he told me about your miscarriages and he was pissed we got to fifteen weeks but neither of you think about it like it is. There isn't anything wrong with you (Y/n), no medical issues whatsoever and we're seven months along and you've had no problems-"

"I still lost a baby this time Ben, remember?" (Y/n)'s tone was bitter but it had no effect on Ben like he hadn't heard her.

"You had vanishing twin syndrome which is common, other than that you've been fine. No other bleeding, no pain, no problems with the baby or how she's growing, everything is picture perfect without Gwil in the picture and you think that's normal? It might not be true and something might be wrong with you but if he can say spiteful shit why can't I?"

Ben grabbed a drink from the fridge and took a long sip before he leaned back against the counter.

He could be wrong and he knew that, there was no evidence or proof or proper suspicion that there was something wrong with Gwilym or that him and (Y/n) just weren't compatible to have a baby. But Ben found it odd that he and (Y/n) were this far along on their first try with a baby and there had been nothing seriously wrong at all. Ben was glad nothing had gone wrong but it just made him wonder why, he wondered why they were so special that this attempt was finally working and paying off for (Y/n).

With a shake of her head, (Y/n) grabbed her previously forgotten drink from the counter before she turned on her heels and went to walk away. But she stopped when she caught what Ben whispered in such a malice, sinister joking way which left her speechless.

"Six failed attempts before you get a baby. Come fuck me ladies, guaranteed to work first time."

[megalony]

Traveller

This is a new Ben Hardy series I am hopefully going to be working on, inspired by The Time Traveller’s Wife. I hope you will all like it, feedback is always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Ben Hardy masterlist

Summary: Ben is a time traveller who can’t control when or where he travels through time and he can never take anything with him. One night, he ends up landing in the princess’ room with nowhere to hide.

Enjoy.

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Where was he this time? Why was the floor so damn cold? Was that the sea that he could hear in the background crashing against the rocks?

He was spinning, his body was convulsing on the floor, his stomach was tensing and he was going to be sick. Oh, so sick, so much bile rising in the back of his throat that was tensing and constricting so he couldn't breathe. The bile left his lips with a flurry of water that was pushed up from his stomach which was tensing and drawing in until his chest dipped down and his stomach was no longer there. His knees caved into the empty space his stomach left behind and his chin tucked down into his tense neck until he stopped spinning.

Where had he landed?

Minutes ticked by until Ben finally felt that he had landed, he had properly landed this time, he wasn't about to be flung back in time to his present or stand up and fall into a different dimension.

Pressing his calloused palms to the polished floor tiles that were below freezing temperature, he twisted his body and forced his knees onto the floor that caused him to shiver in discomfort. He had been sinking safely into the comfort of his sofa with a record playing in the background before he found himself... wherever he was now.

Being mindful of the sick that rested to his right, Ben forced himself up until he was standing on his sore feet that always felt like they had pins and needles. Each time he travelled it became harder and harder to get up and hold his own weight, and that was not a good thing when Ben was normally thrust into a situation where he would need to run or escape or hide for safety. But he still didn't know where he had landed this time, but it was definitely somewhere unfamiliar to him.

A groan of utter pain and discomfort left Ben's lips when his heard started to spin and his eyes took a lot longer to adjust to where he was. He rubbed his frozen hands up and down his arms to try and circulate some heat into his system but when he looked around he realised why the room was so cold.

The balcony doors were open and he could see the sea. So, Ben knew that he was in some kind of house, maybe even a mansion and wherever he was in the world, this house was overlooking the sea. No wonder it was so cold, this place was on the edge of the water which brought in the wind and the cold rushes of air.

Ben wasn't on form tonight, he had spent possible five or more minutes here and he hadn't worked out his surroundings properly or if anyone was nearby or if this place was deserted or not. He hadn't even bothered to look around for any clothes to steal and that was the second thing on his mind when he travelled. Second only to needing to know if he should run away or not.

With a grunt, Ben shuffled his frozen feet across the rather slippery floor as he took in his surroundings. The room had peach coloured walls, pale grapefruit tiles on the floor and a crystal white ceiling. There was a sofa perched near to the balcony which showed the midnight sky full of stars, there was a vase of beautiful lilies in the windowsill and there were three doors within Ben's reach. One door he guessed led onto some sort of bedroom, the other door seemed to be the exit for a corridor and the third door looked more of a cupboard which might come in handy soon.

When an item of clothing came into Ben's sights, he internally thanked the Lord before he reached over to pick it up before tossing it straight back down again with a frightened expression.

It was a nightgown.

He was in a girl's room.

Oh shit, this had never happened to him before. Ben had never travelled and landed in a girl's bedroom. He had ended up in far weirder and worse places than this but this was somewhere he couldn't be. If the girl was here and she walked in to find a naked strange man in her room she would scream the place down and Ben could get killed before he found himself travelling back to his present time.

"Fuck! Fuck... no, shit not this! Send me home, send me home please I've been here long enough. Get me back home safe..." Ben raked a hand through his tussled curls as his eyes screwed shut and he prayed to any Lord or God out there who would listen to take him home.

When he time travelled he couldn't control where he went, when he went or when he got to go back home. He couldn't take any possessions with him like his house key and it was disturbing that he couldn't even take his own clothes. What kind of person randomly turned up to places stark naked? It was insulting and degrading, especially when people saw him randomly appearing out of nowhere without anything on and most people didn't offer him clothing either.

Ben's whole body felt paralysed with fear when the door straight ahead of him suddenly chimed and started to open. What was he going to do? He couldn't run out into the hall with no clothes on and hope no one would be out there to catch him.

He would have to make a break for the cupboard over to the right.

Ben didn't get close enough to the cupboard before a scream and a smashing sound rocketed through him and for a split second he thought someone had shot him.

He didn't want to look. He didn't want to catch sight of who had seen him, he didn't want that frightened, angered or just plain scared look engraved in his mind because he had too many of those faces for him to recall. But he had to look. He hadn't travelled back to his own present time yet and who knew how long he was going to be trapped here in this time. He had to try and explain or make something up so he didn't die before he travelled back to where he would be safe from any harm.

With a deep breath, Ben turned his head sickeningly slowly to the left and opened his eyes to see who had seen him.

(Y/n) felt sick.

The glass in her hand dropped to the floor at her feet and she couldn't help the small scream that escaped her lips before her hands moved to smother her mouth as if one single sound would warrant her death.

There was a man in her room. (Y/n) had never had a man in her room before, she'd never been alone with a man in her room before- or alone with any man in general. She'd also never seen a man naked before and here was a man, alone with her in her room, wearing absolutely nothing, and looking like he didn't want to be here or didn't know where he was.

How did he get into her room without anyone seeing him or following him? Why was he here in her room without any clothes on? Did he want to hurt her? Surely not, he would have done that already and if he came here with the intention of hurting her, why did he decide to do that naked?

(Y/n) watched in fright as the stranger slowly turned his head to look over at her but his eyes matched hers with a look of fright like a bewildered hare when the hunters were approaching. His lips were forming a straight line that showed worry and contemplation and his eyes creased at the corners giving away that he looked and felt rather desperate right now. (Y/n) wanted to call for the guards but something was stopping her. If she called them they would only take this man away and he didn't look like he was here to hurt her.

"Do you have anything I can wear?"

Ben knew immediately that his choice of words was very wrong for this situation and that they shouldn't be his first words to this rather pretty young girl he was terrifying. But he was beginning to shake and if he wasn't careful he was going to get pneumonia or frost bite from the bitter air which didn't seem to be affecting her like it was him.

"I- I'm sorry?"

"I know you want to know why I'm here and how I got here and I will tell you anything, love. But I'm freezing and I'm naked... please, do you have anything like a blanket or just something to stop me getting frostbite over here?"

His lips were turning blue and he felt like he was going to pass out, he needed any clothing or a blanket or just something to give him some decency and a tiny bit of warmth before he found himself catching anything. He'd gotten frostbite and pneumonia before from being out in the cold with no clothes or materials to keep him warm and it was part of Ben's travelling life that he never wanted to have to repeat again.

As if coming back to her senses, (Y/n) raked her eyes over the stranger and felt a blush creeping up her neck when she realised he was shaking from the cold. She'd been in the bath and she found having the balcony door open let the steam disappear from her bathroom and her bedroom.

(Y/n) bit down on her lip and looked up at the ceiling for a moment when she realised the man was doubled over so he could cover his modesty with his hands. He needed anything she could give him so he could warm up and stop having to cover himself from her like this because it was clearly embarrassing them both.

"Oh! I- I... of course, just let me..." (Y/n) tripped over her words as she looked around the room, wondering what she could give him that would help. Despite this situation being far from normal, (Y/n) couldn't let it be said that she didn't have any sympathy or that she'd lost her manners. Her eyes scanned the room for anything she could find before she suddenly undid the midnight blue robe tied around her frame.

(Y/n) took off the robe and quickly ran into her room to grab the blanket from the end of her bed before she hurried back to the stranger. She didn't get too close but close enough that he could gratefully take the items from her before she turned her back to give him some privacy.

Ben let his eyes roll to the back of his head when the robe and the blanket were smothering his frame. It was like having frostbite in his fingers and immediately waving them in front of the fire only to have his nerves spark and set on fire. But he would soon acclimatise and feel better.

"Thank you."

When the stranger's voice flooded (Y/n)'s ears she slowly turned around, assuming that it was safe for her to look at him and assume he was wearing what she had given him.

(Y/n) didn't know why she was smiling, there was a stranger in her room who had managed to sneak past the guards and get into her room without making a scene or a sound. He had turned up with no clothes looking rather unwell and seeming very confused but here (Y/n) was smiling at him.

He looked almost worried when she advanced over to him as if he thought she was going to slap him for turning up like this and maybe she should, but instead, she walked past him to close the balcony doors, hoping to keep him a bit warmer so he didn't faint or be sick. His eyes followed her movements and Ben felt bewildered when she motioned her hand over to the blushing fuchsia sofa that was almost out of place in the plain coloured room. She was offering for him to sit down, a complete and possible dangerous stranger.

"Why are you in my room?" (Y/n)'s voice was gentle but her eyes were full of curiosity as she sat down on the other end of the sofa, leaving a small space between them that might just fit another person if needed.

Tipping his head down, Ben stared at his lap for a little while as he pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders to make sure he stayed warm. He had two choices here: he could tell her some random lie that she may or may not believe or he could tell her the truth and hope he disappeared before she got him arrested.

"The honest answer?" Ben asked, turning his head to look over at her to see her nodding. "I don't know. I didn't mean to turn up here, I actually don't know where I am."

Whenever Ben was found after he'd landed in a strange time in a new or familiar place, he had never had someone laugh at his explanation. He had had police frown at him and try to arrest him, he had people chasing him down back alleys and trying to beat him up or restrain him. People shouted at him, fainted, went paralysed and mute, but no one laughed.

(Y/n) didn't know what came over her but she couldn't help but laugh at his explanation that was far from normal or adequate. This stranger was in her room, he had to have gotten here of his own accord somehow since no one else was here with him and he had to have a reason for breaking into her room like this.

She had to admit that he looked rather convincing.

His rather enamouring emerald green eyes were shining and looking at her through his long black lashes and his very dark ruby red lips were curved into a small, shy smile that looked very sweet and made him seem innocent. His cheekbones were prominent and his jaw was sharp and made (Y/n) feel the urgent impulse to draw him on canvas. Especially his curls, his hair looked like it had been freshly cut but the strands were still long enough to curl on top of his head and they were shaved short at the sides. His hair was the perfect kind of wavy and styled for her to draw.

"I'm sorry, but I find it unbelievable that a strange man turns up without a stitch on him in my room and he doesn't know why he's here or where he is."

"Indulge me... where am I? What's the date today?"

This was part of Ben's trouble when he time travelled, he didn't know where he would end up and he didn't know what the day, date or year was until he asked a stranger who thought he was insane. Ben could see the bewildered look on this girl's face and she thought he was playing some sort of confusing game with her, but she would indulge him like he asked.

"It's July fifth, nineteen sixty-four and you're in my room in my father's palace. I'm (Y/n) (Y/l/n), now would you indulge me? If you really don't know why you're here, how come?"

Ben nodded his head to her words until they seemed to sink in and dawn on him. He'd gone two weeks into his future, it was very rare that Ben went into the future, the past was always where he was pulled into against his will. At least he hadn't gone too far forwards or back. But what got to him was who he was sitting with. This was (Y/n), she was the princess. He had managed to time travel into the palace, now this really was a first for Ben. He had never gotten into the palace before- not that he'd ever tried.

"I'm Ben... I... I time travel, I don't get to choose where or when I go so I never know where I end up and I don't get to take anything with me, princess." Somehow, when the word princess rolled from his lips it made (Y/n) shiver, it was like he was trying to be respectful like the guards when they spoke but he was also being playful and teasing with her.

(Y/n) smiled but she didn't laugh this time. He was either deluded or very bad at lying because she had never heard anything like that before, but then again, nothing like this had ever happened before. But (Y/n) couldn't think of a probable reason why this stranger would turn up in her room wearing nothing at all without anyone finding him if he wasn't going to hurt or attack her or try and hold her hostage. He seemed like he just wanted to go back home and get away from here and he had seemed confused when she first noticed him.

"You don't look mad." (Y/n)'s voice was quiet and she took Ben by surprise when she reached her hand over to gently caress the side of his face like she was making sure he was really here and not some figment of her imagination.

"Neither do you, and yet here you are, talking to a complete stranger wearing your robe."

Out of all the things Ben had seen and all the places he had travelled, this was the best one. He hadn't had to run for his life, he didn't have to fight his way out of anything or hide until he was allowed to travel back home. Ben didn't have to try and lie or break into places and steal clothing or food or money or hide away and find shelter from the rain or a storm or the police or people running after him.

(Y/n) smiled wider at the stranger in front of her but her smile slipped when he blinked a bit quicker before closing his eyes and leaning over until his head was almost resting on her lap. When a small groan left his lips and he seemed to start subtally trembling once again, (Y/n) held onto his shoulders and gently tried to pull him back up.

"What's wrong, are you alright?"

"I- I think I'm going back." Ben knew this feeling all too well. Sometimes he didn't feel anything at all and suddenly found himself back at home two seconds after he had left. Sometimes he fainted and woke up on the floor of his bedroom or in his garden or in a back alley where he had been before he travelled. But sometimes, his stomach started to jump and churn and his head started spinning and he landed back home throwing up his guts with his body spinning in circles.

"Back where?"

"Home."

Ben thought he was going to be sick and his throat tightened but he held his breath in his lungs when (Y/n)'s hands were suddenly cupping his face and tilting his head up to look at him. She looked almost sad that he was about to depart and leave her. Him, a total stranger who was of no rank or status in society to even know her if he were a normal man, and the princess didn't want him to leave.

"W-will you come back?" (Y/n) wanted him to come back, she wanted him to visit her again because he was different and he was intriguing even if he may possible be dangerous or quite mad.

"I- I can't control it, princess... I'm n-not a Lord or anything I can't walk through the gates-" Ben couldn't control where and when he travelled and even if he wanted to come and see her in their present time, he couldn't just walk through the palace gates and come find her. He wasn't important or high up or anyone special enough to come and see the princess.

"And yet here you are." Her voice was calm and considerate as her thumbs brushed over his cheeks like she was trying to calm him down and her smile was burning into his memory, never wanting to be forgotten. She was brushing his skin so delicately and looking at him lovingly like she wanted to make him feel better, she wanted to comfort him and take away the sick feeling he was going through. And the strange thing was, it was working.

"I'll try."

(Y/n) didn't know what came over her, maybe it was because she knew he was trying to make her a promise they both knew he might not be able to keep. Maybe it was because she didn't know if this lovely yet possibly deluded stranger was ever going to waltz into her life again. But whatever it was, it forced her to lean closer until her lips pressed to his.

It was her first ever kiss and it wasn't how she had expected it to be. His lips were like soft cushions but they were ice cold like she was kissing snow and it was slowly melting against her lips. She could feel his cold skin pressing against hers in every way, she could feel that his lips were wet but slightly chapped at the same time and she could sense his tongue pressing up behind his lips.

The feeling was nothing like (Y/n) had ever imagined or ever experienced before and it was something she desperately wanted to repeat. But the moment (Y/n) felt Ben's fingers grazing delicately against her cheek, everything went cold and the air twisted around her.

When her eyes snapped open, the snow against her lips was gone, the fingertips brushing against her cheek weren't there and all that was left was the blanket and the robe laying half on her lap like Ben had evaporated and turned into dust at her fingertips. He really had disappeared just as mysteriously as he had appeared in the first place. Nothing was left, he hadn't taken the robe or the blanket with him which explained why he appeared with no clothes on.

He had been telling her the truth.

So why did she feel sad now he was gone?