#breadth first search in c

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Artificial Intelligence at Humber College - Final Presentation

[dngrs-untld-hrshps-unnmbrd]

Mating Season

Halsin x Female Reader | sexual frustration | sexual tension | growly bear halsin | totally adoring halsin | horny bear mating instincts | semi-shifted sex | fluff | smut | nsfw

How Halsin’s romance might have played out if we could have had his kisses, adoration, and been totally railed senseless by Oak Daddy from the end of Act I. An ode to Halsin’s hairy chest, big arms, and the vein that I know stands out so thickly on his *muffled horny noises*

After a long and tiring day of fighting off goblins as you search for the Githyanki Crèche, you groan in relief as you sink into the cool waters of the river. Everyone else is back at camp and you’re able to enjoy the currents swirling around your naked body. 

You float in the water, thinking about how much your party has grown in the past few weeks. First Shadowheart, Gale, and Astarion, then Lae’zel, Wyll, and Karlach, and finally Halsin, the wildshape druid you rescued from the goblins. He’s a focused member of the group, a valuable healer, and an unstoppable force in battle. You occasionally feel things turning against you in a fight, and then Halsin is there, supporting the group and laying down swathes of flame, lightning and ice. His bear shape never fails to strike fear into the hearts of your enemies. 

Around the fire at night, he talks openly about his quest to free the Shadow-Cursed lands, his admiration for the party, and his praise for your leadership. His gentle words about you have your body prickling with awareness of his. 

That warm smile of his. His large and clever hands. His deep, gentle voice. Everything about this man makes you tingle all the way down to your toes. Whenever you think his gaze is lingering on your mouth, he murmurs goodnight to you and leaves your side. You watch him go, wishing that instead he would reach out and touch you.

An angry, snarling sound fills the air and you sit up in the water. Not far from you, an enormous bear, grunting and breathing hard, walks heavily down the riverbank. It’s huge, and its muscular body blocking out the setting sun, and from the noises it's making and its attitude, it’s a hair's-breadth from lashing out at anything that moves. 

You freeze, not daring even to breathe, hoping with everything you have that the animal will turn around and head back the other way. Instead, it launches itself into the water with an almighty splash. 

As it disappears beneath the surface, you notice a faint scar over the bear’s right eye, as if it’s been clawed. You recognize that scar. 

Wait, is this--

Golden light flashes. The water seethes. A man stands up where there was a bear just moments ago, water cascading from his body. Halsin, and he must have stripped before he changed into wildshape for now he’s completely naked, standing hip-deep in the water. 

He’s partly turned away from you but you can tell his manner is no less worked up than it was in bear form. He swipes his hands angrily through his dripping hair and breathes hard, the muscles of his shoulders and arms clenched in frustration. 

Halsin is one of the gentlest-natured men you’ve ever met, most of the time. Like nature, he too can be wild, his eyes flashing and his voice breaking like thunder over you when he’s frustrated or disappointed, such as when he was remonstrating Kagha for the Rite of Thorns. How magnificent he was that day. 

But what is he restless for now? He stands in the water, looking around at the forest, gripped with frustration, and when he turns a little more your way you can see that the root of his cock is thickened in a tell-tale manner. 

Ah. 

That kind of frustration. 

You quietly make your way to the edge of the river where a willow tree is trailing in the water, moving as carefully and as quietly as you can. This feels like a private moment you’re intruding on. Even though you don’t mean to spy, it feels like you are. The fronds of the willow provide a little cover for you, and hopefully Halsin will cool off and leave the way he came. 

The dice do not roll your way this evening as he approaches you, seeking deeper water. A moment later, your gazes lock, and his eyes widen in surprise.

‘What are you doing there?’

‘I wasn’t spying on you,’ you tell him quickly. ‘I thought you needed some peace, so I was waiting here quietly.’

His eyes run over you, your back pressed against the river bank and cowering amid the willow leaves. 

Halsin heaves a regretful sigh. ‘I frightened you, didn’t I? I am sorry. It’s all right, I am myself again.’ 

He smiles and holds out his hand. It’s a tight smile, like he’s forcing it for you, but you’re no longer worried a bear is about to disembowel you.  

You place your cool fingers into his large, hot ones and let him draw you slowly out of your hiding place. The water is deep enough here that your nakedness is covered, and so is his.

You relax as you gaze up at him, enjoying the sensation of Halsin holding your hand. Quietly enjoying the sight of his bare chest and handsome face. You hope he might walk you into the shallows so you can be naked together, but he remains in deep water, sunk in thought.

‘The river is yours. I’ll leave you to enjoy it,’ you murmur, and glance to where you left your clothes. 

Halsin’s fingers are still tightly twined through yours beneath the water. He seems to be in a world of his own as he gazes at your mouth, your throat, the droplets of water sliding through your wet hair and down your shoulders. A world that includes you. A world where you’re touching one another. 

‘Halsin?’ you ask tentatively. Hopefully. If he wants to move closer and kiss you, that’s more than okay with you. After a long and dusty day, there’s nothing you’d like more than exploring his body in the cool water. That hairy chest of his. His hard muscles. You long to run your tongue over him. Flex your fingers on his biceps. Trace the red tattoo on his cheek.

Halsin comes back into himself with a deep inhale, and he lets go of your hand. ‘Then I’ll see you back at camp.’ He moves away from you through the currents. 

As you push the water from your body and dress in your clothes, you search for Halsin in the river, but he’s disappeared around a bend. 

***

Later around the campfire, you’re hyper aware of Halsin as you talk with Gale about his home in Baldur’s Gate. Halsin is silent, the campfire flickering over his handsome face. You try not to pay him any more attention than you do the others, but your interest in him has spilled over into blazing attraction.

Your gazes lock and Halsin’s brows are drawn tightly together. 

Is he glaring at you? 

A moment later he gets to his feet and, unnoticed by the others, slips away into the darkness. Something’s eating at that man and you wish you knew what.

A short time later, you take a bottle down to the river to refill it with water before turning and heading for your bed. As you round the corner of the ruin where you’ve made your camp, you run straight into Halsin. 

His eyes widen and they flare with heat and surprise, and then he quickly looks away and moves past you.

‘Have I done something to make you angry with me?’ you call after him. 

Halsin stops dead. He stares straight ahead for a moment, and then slowly turns to you, shaking his head. ‘Far from it. I am worked up and frustrated, but not with anger.’

Maybe his frustrations are because of you, and that’s a thought you don’t know what to do with when he keeps avoiding you. 

Not knowing what else to say, you tell him, ‘We will free the Shadow-Cursed lands soon. I know we will.’

He breathes out heavily, his expression troubled. ‘I’m not thinking of the Shadow-Curse right now, even though I should be. It is more important than anything I...’ He trails off, but his gaze lingers on your mouth. ‘...want.’

Halsin steps closer, and you feel the heat blazing off his chest. His warmth and bulk are so welcoming and you crave to reach out and touch him. The backs of his fingers caress your hair. The lightest of touches. Then he takes a handful of your hair and dips his head, bringing the strands to his nose. 

‘You smell wonderful.’ He heaves a deep sigh, and whispers, ‘Can I hold you for a moment?’

That sounds lovely to you, and you nod. 

Halsin wraps an arm around your waist, scoops you against him, and buries his face in your neck. ‘By Silvanus, your scent is sweet,’ he groans. ‘I caught it when we first met, in that foul goblin nest. How it pleased me. Getting to know you these past few weeks has been even sweeter.’

Your hands are plastered against his chest and so is your body. He’s saying everything you hoped to hear. More than you hoped to hear. He has such a beautiful way with words. You turn your head so he can kiss you, but he still refrains. 

Taking a ragged breath, he releases you and steps back. ‘I’m sorry. It’s always difficult this time of year.’

You miss his warmth so much that you shiver. ‘What time of year?’

He gazes at you for a long time. ‘You may laugh, but I’ll tell you. It’s bear mating season.’

You don’t laugh, but your eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

‘I know--I’m no bear,’ Halsin says with a laugh of his own, ‘but I spend so much time in wildshape that bear instincts tug on my heart and...other parts of me. I return to my own form and unfortunately the needs do not dissipate. In fact, they worsen, because it is not a bear I want. When she comes close to me smelling like spring and honey and warm sunshine I can’t help but crave her.’ A smile glimmers on his lips.

Enough being vague. You want to hear him say it. You step closer and put a hand against his chest. ‘A general someone, or anyone in particular?’

He groans softly and captures your face in his hands. He drinks you in and swipes his thumb across your lips. The gesture is soft, and full of the promise of his kiss.

‘You are someone I admire and I think I could grow to care deeply about,’ he murmurs. ‘I care about you so much already. Any little scratch you receive I want to push Shadowheart out of the way and tend to you myself.’

Your heart soars.

‘But this isn’t how or when I wanted to begin anything with you. I have to walk away.’

Disappointment plummets through you. 

He’s still holding your face and his expression is conflicted. It seems he wants to put an end to this for now but can’t bring himself to do it. 

‘I can walk away, if that helps?’

His eyes fill with gratitude and longing. ‘Please. That would be a mercy. Know that when the time comes, I will come to you with more than lust in my heart.’

You nod, trailing your fingers down his chest as you step back, but you fail to see what’s wrong with him desiring you. ‘Whatever you need. Of course.’

‘I hope I haven’t offended you.’

You smile gently at him. ‘Your desire is so far from offensive. Please know that I don’t demand more of your attention than you’re willing to give. The Shadow Cursed lands are your priority and I’m...’ How to put this delicately? I’m here for you and you can rail me senseless in between your duties whenever you want to let off steam. That’s what you want to say, but you’re too shy to say it. ‘...Here. Your friend. Always.’

Halsin seems to catch your meaning anyway as his jaw flexes and he nods slowly. 

You promised him you would walk away, and you do, and though you give him ample time to allow him to pull you back, the next sound you hear is a clash and a growl, and a flare of golden light. When you glance over your shoulder, a bear is thundering into the woods on all fours. 

***

A few days later, you’re returning to camp feeling like you’ve been put through a meat grinder, and your companions haven’t fared much better. Gale is unusually silent and covered in blood. Shadowheart is exhausted and dragging her feet. You’re trying not to limp because she and Halsin have already cast so much healing magic. Something’s wrong with your leg, but you’ll see to it yourself when you’re alone. 

The others bid you tired farewells as they head for their tents, but someone catches your arm and holds you back.

‘Oak Father, you’re bleeding. Why didn’t you say anything?’ 

Halsin is staring at your legs, and you stare with him. Blood is pooling around your foot. Oh, that’s not good. 

‘I can tend to it myself after I’ve had some rest--’

Your words are cut off as the massive druid picks you up in his arms and carries you into a crumbling barn. Automatically, you wrap your arms around his neck and lean against the solid bulk of his chest. Halsin lays you down on a pallet and helps you remove your armour, revealing a ragged gash on the top of your thigh. Your clothes have to be cut away until your legs are bare.

Halsin looks exhausted and has dark circles under his eyes. It seems he’s been taking little rest as he roams the forests nightly as a bear. When he reaches for you to lay healing hands on your wound, you place a hand on his wrist.

‘You don’t have to do this right now. I’ll bandage myself up and someone can heal me after they’ve rested.’

Halsin raises challenging eyebrows at you. ‘You believe I don’t have the strength to heal you myself? That I’ll walk away from the most important person in my life and leave her bleeding?’

You moisten your lips, trying not to show how much his words have affected you. The most important person in his life? Suddenly you don’t feel injured at all, and he hasn’t even healed you yet.

‘I have more than enough magic left for this. Now, lay back and let me do my work, and then you can get back to yours.’

You settle back on the pallet and gaze at the cobwebby rafters. Halsin’s hands hover over your thigh, and a warm, delicious feeling spreads through your leg, and then up between your thighs. Your head falls back in relief and pleasure. 

Even Halsin makes a surprised noise. ‘That felt...’ He rubs your now-healed high, massaging the last of the tension and pain from your muscles. ‘That felt different. How’s your thigh now?’ 

You can’t help but moan and arch your back a little at his touch. ‘Good.’ Your voice comes out in a breathy whisper.

‘Just good?’ He strokes his palm over where there was a cut just moments ago. 

‘Halsin, please, you make me feel heavenly,’ you whimper. The words pass your lips without thinking. You reach up to take hold of his shoulders so you can pull him down to kiss you, but pull back before you can touch him. 

This isn’t what he wants. Your hands clench on the pallet, feeling your core ache with need. As soon as he leaves, you can get yourself off thinking about him. 

‘Would you like me to go?’ he asks softly. 

‘I never want you to go.’

His hand rests lightly on your leg. 

You open your eyes and gaze up at him, and he’s sitting so close to you. ‘But if you stay, you’re going to see me touching myself.’ Then you smile at him, remembering your last conversation. ‘I would love for you to see that. As a friend.’

You want him to see you. You want him to participate.

He smiles and leans down to you, and runs the blade of his nose up your cheek. ‘I can’t think of anything more wonderful after a long, hard day, my dear friend.’

Halsin lays down beside you and props his head against his fist. With gentle fingers, he helps you to drag your underwear down your legs and cast them aside. As your teeth sink into your lower lip, you gently touch yourself, your eyes on his handsome face. Halsin strokes your thighs, your stomach, finds the fastenings on your clothes and loosens them. As he pulls back your bodice, revealing your breasts, he lowers his head to take one of your nipples in his mouth. 

You cry out and flex up into him. Heat is gathering within you. You suck on your lower lip and release it. ‘Please--your fingers--I need--’ you manage between pants. You can barely get the words out, but he understands. Halsin drags two fingers through your sex, making them slippery, and then sinks them inside you. 

Another loud cry from you. Gods, he feels perfect.

Halsin groans and kisses your throat, murmuring, ‘You’re so tight around me. Have you been as frustrated as I am?’ He pumps his thick fingers in and out of you, slowly at first, and then faster.

Yes you have, the godsdamned stubborn bear of man. He should have pulled you into his arms that day in the river and let you suck all the frustration from his body out through his cock. 

‘So frustrated,’ you whimper. ‘Please, that feels so good. Don’t stop, please don’t stop.’ 

He brushes his lips over yours. ‘I won’t stop. You’re always so beautiful, but like this, all of nature pales in comparison.’

You reach down and lay your hand over his wrist, adoring the tension and flex of his muscles in his arm as he moves inside you. Your fingers keep moving on your clit as you moan and cry out his name, and when you come you dig your nails into his flesh, and press your feet into the ground so he can fuck you even harder with his fingers.

When you fall back exhausted, Halsin sits up and spreads your thighs open, trailing his fingers over your sex and drinking in the sight of you as you catch your breath. ‘Your body is wondrous.’ He leans over and kisses you, his tongue caressing yours. ‘Will you rest well tonight?’ 

You nod, feeling drunk from his kiss and your climax. 

He smiles. ‘Then I’ll rest well too, knowing that you’re sleeping soundly. Thank you for sharing this beautiful moment with me.’

As he sits up, you notice that he’s hard inside his tight pants. Excessively hard. Huge in fact. He shouldn’t be leaving, he should be pulling off his clothes and pounding the living daylights out of you until he also gets the release he needs. 

But he’s gone before you can call him back to you. That’s not why he just blew your mind, was it? He healed you, and now he wants you to get some rest. Druid’s orders, apparently. 

You smile and roll over, and fall into a doze. 

***

The next morning, before anyone has arisen, Halsin finds you coming back from the river. You smile at him, thinking he looks so handsome in the morning light, and you expect him to keep moving past you. Instead, he stops and smiles at you, as if basking in the sight of you is all he wants right now. 

‘May I have a kiss?’ you ask hopefully. Perhaps he’s decided not to want anything for himself right now, but he still wants to make you happy. 

Without needing to be asked twice, Halsin grasps you around the waist with his large hands and walks you back against the wall, kissing you enthusiastically. ‘I can still smell you on my fingers this morning. I could smell you all night. You are a delight.’

Your lips part for his so he can kiss you even deeper. With your arms around his neck, you revel in the sensation of his mouth on yours. 

‘I find you irresistible.’ Another kiss. ‘But we have much to do today.’ Another kiss. 

‘We do,’ you say, smiling as he kisses you again. 

He gazes down at you for a moment, a slight frown between his brows. ‘If you need more, know that I won’t be offended if you take another lover. Nature intends for us to roam and be free.’

You have considered that, if not someone at camp, then a handsome stranger at a tavern, but you’d only be thinking about Halsin the whole time. ‘And if I don’t want to?’

‘You must do as pleases you,’ he replies, and kisses you again.

You guess that he didn’t tell you this for idle reasons, but to let you know about his own preferences. You reach up and stroke your fingers through his russet hair. ‘I have always wanted my own person, but to roam with them. Share everything with them. I would miss you too much if I was to roam without you.’

He smiles down at you. ‘Us, with others? I would like that, in time. You’re more than enough for me, but I wouldn’t wish for you to be denied anything. Seeing you with another lover, and participating as well...it sounds wonderful.’ Then he steps away from you. ‘But we are getting ahead of ourselves. My thoughts turn to other things for now. But they will turn back to you.’

With a final warm squeeze of your hand, he leaves you, but your heart is lighter than it’s been in a long time. 

***

Two nights later, you’re awoken by snarling and roaring in the distance, and you sit bolt upright. It sounds like two large animals are fighting in the woods. 

Only Astarion is awake. ‘What a ridiculous racket,’ he mutters with a scowl, before licking his thumb and turning the page of the book he’s reading. 

You look over at Halsin’s pallet, knowing it’s going to be empty before you lay eyes on it, but your stomach drops just the same when you see that it is. You scramble to your feet and set off at a run into the darkness. 

You follow the roaring and snarling and it doesn’t take long to find two bears fighting with teeth bared and swipes of their claws. You recognise Halsin from the scars over his eye.

What can you do to help him? A spell? A cantrip?  

Before you can decide, Halsin swipes the other bear so hard across the snout that it reels back, and then turns and runs away into the woods. 

Halsin paces up and down for a moment, and then golden light ripples, nearly blinding you, and when you open your eyes again, he’s striding toward you. His chest is heaving and blood is pouring from scratches and bites across his shoulders and throat. Nothing life threatening, but he’d be in pain if he wasn’t so angry.

‘That bear was looking for a mate, and I wasn’t having it prowling around her when I haven’t even tasted her myself.’

Halsin when he’s feeling himself wouldn’t say something so uncharacteristically possessive. It must be the mating season instincts overriding his natural feelings. ‘That bear wouldn’t have been interested in me.’ Also, you could have tasted me by now if you’d wanted to.

He doesn’t seem to have heard you as he glares into the darkness. Suddenly, he rounds on you. ‘It’s dangerous out here. You shouldn’t have come. Go back to bed.’

You fold your arms and stay where you are. The big alpha bear can throw his weight around, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to jump to obey his commands. ‘Shouldn’t have come? Would you have ignored me if I was being attacked in the woods?’

Halsin takes a deep breath and some of the anger melts from his face. He pushes his hands through his hair and shakes his head. ‘Of course not, I would never abandon you like that. Thank you for coming out here to help me. I promise I’m not ungrateful. I’m all out of sorts because...’ He gestures vaguely at himself and the woods around you both. 

You smile at him. ‘I know. It’s mating season.’

You help him pick dirt and gravel out of his cuts before he casts healing magic on himself, but you’re not ready to leave him and go to bed. The river is close by and you take his hand and lead him to the water. 

‘Let’s wash the blood and dirt off you.’

At the riverbank, hesitantly you reach for his clothes. He says nothing but he’s watching you with such intensity, and so you find the fastenings and help him out of them. With gentle fingers, he does the same for you. The night air is warm and still. Crickets are chirping and the river makes gentle rushing noises. The two of you are standing so close that you’re breathing each other’s breaths. His massive chest lifts and falls. Your nipples tighten with awareness of him. You don’t want to stare but you can’t help but look at this beautiful man as you undress him. 

Halsin helps you out of your underwear, and his cock bumps against your thigh. He’s so hard that he’s standing to attention, his foreskin drawn back, a drop of pre-cum at the tip. Your mouth waters, and you want to run your tongue along the thick vein that stands out on his shaft.

‘Sorry. Ignore me,’ he mutters. 

You don’t want to ignore the most beautiful cock you’ve ever seen, but you keep your hands to yourself and look up at him. ‘I want to feel flattered. Should I feel flattered?’

‘You know I think you’re wonderful,’ he breathes, caressing your face. 

Oh, by all the gods, then fuck me, please. 

‘Would you want me even if it wasn’t mating season?’

‘Of course I would, though I’d probably be better at keeping that to myself. You wouldn’t awaken to hear me fighting other bears in the woods, or see me staring at you with longing across the campfire. I’d still feel the same way, but I wouldn’t be so obvious about it. Probably.’

‘Do you mind that mating season makes you feel and act this way?’

He smiles and shakes his head. ‘It is who I am, and another connection I have to nature.’

‘Halsin. For a wildshape druid who believes in going with what’s natural, you’re very stubborn about resisting what your body is telling you it wants.’

A smile curves his lips. ‘You may be right. I’ve told myself that focusing on the Shadow Curse is the right and only thing to do, but...’

Halsin ducks his head and slants his mouth over yours. The kiss is so fierce and sudden, and pleasure takes a swan dive through your body. He wraps his arms around you and gathers you to him.

‘This isn’t how I imagined things between us,’ he murmurs. ‘I intended to come to you after the curse is lifted and declare my feelings for you, and tell you that my unburdened heart is yours.’ 

‘Please still do that,’ you breathe, planting soft kisses again and again on his mouth. ‘I would love that. But don’t walk away from me now.’ 

‘You want me, even though my mind is often on things other than you?’

What a romantic Halsin is, wanting to give you his whole heart at once, or nothing at all. ‘Of course I do,’ you tell him, your fingers stroking his bare back. You don’t need that declaration yet. You just need him. 

Halsin lifts you in his arms and carries you into the water, gazing into your eyes. The water flows around your bodies as he kisses you and places you on your feet.

He nods at something over your shoulder. ‘I have to taste you. Turn around and put your hands on that rock.’

You do as he asks, standing thighs-deep in the water and bent over with your hands braced against the river bank. Halsin kneels down in the water and cups your ass. 

‘So beautiful...’ You feel his tongue run up your sex, and you moan and close your eyes. He’s slow and languorous about it. Not trying to make you come, just tasting you thoroughly and enjoying the sensation of you against his tongue. 

Halsin stands up and when you glance over your shoulder you see him gazing at your sex as he strokes you with his fingers and fists his cock slowly up and down. 

‘Can I have you, sweet one?’ he asks huskily. 

‘Please, gods, yes .’ You’ll go crazy if he holds back a moment longer.

You feel him step closer, and the blunt head of his cock slides against your slippery entrance. He feels alarmingly thick and you take a deep breath and try to relax. 

With a muttered oath, he sinks into you. As much of him as he can, anyway. Gods, he’s a lot . You walk your feet apart, trying to accommodate more of him. 

‘Too much?’ he asks, hesitating. 

You shake your head desperately. ‘Not too much. More, please.’

He fucks you slowly, working himself deeper by delicious increments, while your cries fill the night air along with his ragged breathing. His blunt nails scratch your flesh. He roughly squeezes handfuls of your ass. 

You reach down between your legs and touch yourself, and you grow wetter and wetter, allowing him to fuck you in long, smooth strokes. Every single one makes your insides light up. Your orgasm is barrelling down on you surprisingly fast. 

‘Please, fuck me hard, I’m going to come,’ you beg him. 

Halsin groans and takes your hips in a secure grip and slams into you, over and over, hard, brutal and heavenly thrusts. You push against the rock to hold you steady as a wild, untamable sensation crashes over you, and you cry out loud enough for the whole forest to hear you. 

Your head is hanging low and you’re panting as you feel Halsin draw out of you.

‘But you haven’t come,’ you protest, straightening up and turning around. It’s what you want, to see and feel this beautiful man let go. 

He takes your hand and helps you out of the river. ‘I’m not done with you yet.’

He lays back on the grass and pulls you astride him so your thighs are straddling him. ‘I want to see you like this as well.’

Hungry for more, you grasp his cock and sink down his length. Halsin groans and his head tips back, and he squeezes both your breasts in his large hands. His throat is so beautiful, and so is his chest. You draw patterns in his chest hair as you move up and down his length. 

Weeks of frustration and wanting him haven’t been fulfilled by one climax, and soon you feel another one gathering within you. He watches you with a smile as you desperately moan and pant his name. As your cries reach a crescendo, Halsin plants his feet securely against the ground and pushes sharply up into you, over and over, making you shatter around him even harder than before.

You collapse forward on his chest, weakened and helpless, his cock still lodged deep inside you. 

‘That was wonderful,’ you moan, your cheek plastered against his chest. ‘Give me a moment and we can change positions. I’m not stopping until you come.’

He rubs circles on your back. ‘I think I might shift into wildshape if we keep going. I can feel the need getting stronger and stronger.’ 

‘I don’t mind. Your bear form is pretty sexy.’

He laughs softly, a surprised sound. ‘Really? I’m pleased you think so.’

Even sexier is the way he looks while he’s changing, his body even bulkier and hair sprouting everywhere. ‘Can you change part ways?’

His hand stops moving on your back as he considers this. ‘I can. I think it might be easier for me to maintain that, rather than one or the other.’

Halsin rolls you both over until you’re on your back in the grass and pinned beneath him. With a heavy hand on your inner thigh, he pushes your knees up to your chest and thrusts deeper, and then again. 

‘By Silvanus, you feel wonderful,’ he pants.

A ripple goes through his body. His eyes turn fiercely golden. The hair thickens across his chest and spreads over his shoulders and down his arms. His top lip pulls back from his teeth, revealing thick incisors. His cock swells to what feels like twice its size inside you. You gaze at him in wonder. He looks incredible like this. 

As he continues to pump his cock into you, you press your hands against his muscular, hairy stomach, struggling to accommodate all of him. 

‘I’m hurting you,’ he realises, his voice more growl than words. ‘I can change back.’

‘No, don’t stop. Just slow down for a moment. It’s a good problem to have.’ You reach down to the place where you’re joined and wrap your fingers around his slippery thickness. Gods, that’s wonderful. So is his bulk looming over you and the rich, animal scent of his body. He thrusts carefully, watching you closely, his golden gaze roaming over you. 

‘So beautiful, sweet one,’ he rumbles. ‘Are you sure you like me like this?’

‘Yes, oh gods, yes.’

With every thrust, it’s getting easier for him to slide his whole length deep inside you, and pleasure stabs through you every time he bottoms out. 

You reach up and cup his furred cheek. ‘I didn’t think it was possible, but you’re even sexier like this. How does it feel for you?’

He groans and seems to take courage from your words. ‘Like I’m finally free. No longer fighting what I crave.’ The speed of his thrusts pick up, and he devours you hungrily. ‘You’re so good to me.’  

His breathing becomes a throaty snarl. His claws dig lovingly into your thigh. His hips move in a relentless rhythm, long thrusts, and then shorter, urgent ones, and you can tell he’s nearing his peak. You hold onto his shoulders for dear life as his body stiffens and his climax breaks through him, and he throws his head back.

With a groan, he sinks down onto his elbow and buries his face in your throat. As you hold him tight, you feel him shift back to his human form, his skin smooth and damp with perspiration. 

Halsin lifts his head and kisses you. ‘I’ve never done anything like that before. Was it all right? I didn’t hurt you, did I?’

You hasten to assure him that he didn’t and it was everything you wanted.

He smiles. ‘How wonderful you are.’

You stroke his sweaty hair back. Neither have I. You’re so beautiful always, and especially seeing you like that, through wildshape eyes.’

He rolls onto his side in the grass and wraps both his arms around you, keeping you tight against his chest. ‘I shouldn’t have been so stubborn. The world feels so much better now I have you in my arms.’

‘How long does mating season last?’ you ask. You hope it’s a long time, and he needs you often. 

He laughs, a deep sound reverberating through his chest. ‘It’s every moment I lay eyes on you, sweet one.’

‘I hope that I haven’t distracted you from your duties.’

He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. ‘I’m more motivated than ever.’

You lay like that together in the grass until Halsin feels your cooling body shiver. 

He helps you to your feet and draws you into his arms for one last, tender kiss. Cradling your face in his hands, he murmurs, ‘You are the person I admire most in the world. I feel honoured by every moment I spend by your side.’ He kisses you again. ‘Know that I can’t wait until I’m able to tell you that my whole heart is yours.’

Thank you so much for reading. Please leave me a comment and let me know what you think! Or tell me how the Halsin brainrot is affecting you while playing BG3. I have just about no braincells left by now. Only Daddy Bear remains. 

[springsmile]

over my shoulder || 02

18+ | h. shinso x f. reader

warnings: non-con, smut, pre-established trauma (r*pe), extreme anxiety/paranoia, victim blaming/shaming, abuse of prescriptions, self harm, suicidal ideation, disassociation, negativity around hospitalization, violent intrusive thoughts, kidnapping, murder, specific reader characterizations, manipulation, anorexia/bulimia behaviors

** reader's quirk is enhanced senses. upon activation, emotions and sensations are pretty much exacerbated. reader never learns how to channel or control it to its full potential, only to turn it on and off.

a/n: sorry it’s short .. i’m setting the stage, you see. get ready for mr toads wild ride >:D

you can’t distinguish whether the rattling is that of a sink or shower.

whichever it was, you didn’t care. you just wished it’d stop. there was no feasibly appropriate reason to shower at 3:30am. you wouldn’t accept any string of logic. not work. not an accident. this was a personal blow. a direct and calculated kick to your balls.

heavy like poison lead, your eyes twitch behind your closed eyelids. the burning of your retinas is almost tangibly painful. worst, when your tremor stricken fingers inch to the darkened half circles under your eyes, and poke unceremoniously, you jolt at the sting. sinus infection. christ.

each time you think the metallic clunking has ceased for the night, you jerk in the midst of your pseudo slumber, the first half of your circadian rhythm interrupted, almost fucking routinely at this point. you can only imagine the hysteria that is to befall you at work in a few short, tortuous hours. you’re dreading it, what was there to look forward to? that creepy fuck, coming around again? having found your dad’s name and number and potentially your address and your family’s—

oh.

it stopped.

you twist around in bed, searching for that warm, tender position that cradles your neck and spine.

maybe this time… maybe it’ll be done for good… and then you can sleep…

a thud from upstairs strikes.

maybe.

the stinging warmth of the sun stains your skin when your eyes creak open in the morning, yielding a softer shade.

you lay there for a moment. heart palpitating furiously, and dried sweat smeared across your forehead. it could’ve been the heat, it could’ve been the serpent in your chest or the knocking around in your head. a lot went on in the night for you.

there’s this reel that is ever lingering. scorching your head and pricking the backs of your eyes with the precision of a sharp dart. the man with the indigo hair and sneaking eyes. he emanated this… strange air. it was stifling, and you didn’t like it.

though, a future run in was disconcertingly possible… so many perverts…

the duvet is damp. balmy, even. you shake your hands out, all the while, the thick sheen of sweat glares at you. you wipe them on it furiously. you’d need to run to the laundromat, you discern with a heavy groan.

you swing your legs over, and they creak with disuse. your hair is matted, a sticky and frigid press on your scalp, given the meager hum of the fan overhead. it’s disgusting, and you imagine your fingernails massaging the skin lightly, shampoo foaming around (h/c) breadths.

you glance at your phone—the one that hadn’t obliterated your senses with its jolting buzz. your breath catches in your throat— fuck! late!

you scramble for your blow dryer, holding it to your head and wincing at the highest setting whilst sprawling on eyeshadow, yet again shake-y handed. the crescent shaped swoops of black hugged the curves of your eyes starkly, while the white in your waterline almost managed to breathe a minuscule of life back into your eyes, dulled to this muted hue you couldn’t stand to look at.

you look deplorable. that’s fine. a semblance of togetherness was all you needed to plow through the day— and the black accentuating your eye shape was comforting as it was familiar.

with twitching eyes climbing to the time, unfurled within you is a twisted, guiltless epiphany; you couldn’t eat breakfast. not that you would, anyway. weight gain would decimate the remnants of your psyche. a pound would be tantalizing. maybe you’d reach back into the warm of your mouth, unwavering and armed with jagged nails, and claw at your uvula again. the pain revitalizing as it was cumbersome. blood was often an accompaniment.

the knob is wide and cold, used lovelessly with chinks and dents— and now, it’s at your mercy. you twist it until it can no longer give.

the door is improperly slotted within the door frame, and it takes a few full body throttles against it to wedge it back into place. pressing the key to the lock’s fitted grooves, you readjust the position of your purse on your shoulder with a handless jerk, pat your hair down, smooth your clothes— then, you’re en route to work.

your restless thoughts aren’t as deterrent today. usually, they press on your eyes until they glisten, but your head is rampant with else things— namely, the hero that’d rescued you with immeasurable gallantry. that repulsive, subdued haughtiness— a startling contrast to the matching apathy his eyes bore assaulted your memory.

can i get a thank you? my ass.

not that you had the pluck to voice this. even if you were met with the disconcerting opportunity to interact with him again, you’d resign to that pathetic complacency and vacant expression. it was safer that way.

the walk is lackluster. no cat with the curious eyes, no teenaged girls with shrinking eyes and glossed cherry lips. but the stagnant fear of hands around your throat, a bruised windpipe, a man appearing from around a corner that’d failed to enter the radius of your (otherwise) acute surveillance would inevitably prevail all potential logical thought, at all times, and forever.

you’re particularly sweaty today—suffering from hyperhidrosis—and the balminess of your underarms, and the soiled material of your garment, was overstimulating as it was cumbersome.

briefly, your eyes fall closed, and for a moment, your loss of vision is tranquil as it is indisputably dangerous. you pause at the crosswalk with open eyes, which flit to the concrete.

your converse are ratty and beat. the fabric frays upward, and the toe cap’s adhesive has seemed to loosen, leaving you privy to damn near trench foot when it rains on your walk home. when you look at them with a wrinkle in your nose, you fight the onslaught of memories, tainted by a note of pessimism that leadens your retinas and press oh so heavily on the backs of your eyes. but the sensation refused to evoke tears. just this palpable heaviness. and it remained.

the tinny bell above the door is sprayed gold, but the years have worn it to a silver. nonetheless, the jingle tickles your ears when your hand seized the door handle and drew it outwardly.

your job is inconvenient, yet it allows for this backseat reprieve that rests your mind and allows for the most simple coding and recollection. it’s not hard to recall where a book is. and it’s not hard to deal with a fragmented smile and greasy palms. it’s difficult to deal with gilded words and honeyed demands, but you’re seasoned at this point.

“(y/n).” your assistant manager says when you touch the receiving room’s door handle. you’re shrewd enough to grasp that he’s not greeting you.

before you can manage a greeting, practiced and cool, a stiff remark hits you.

“you were scheduled for 10:45.”

your eyes roll to the clock above the door. it’s 10:48, and it’s a tuesday. inconsequential— as erroneous as you are.

“i’m sorry.” you apologize with utmost lethargy. do you bother with an excuse? to your credit, astuteness in the sphere of tone recognition was something that you were inherently privy to. your situational awareness could use some work. lamely, you try, “there was traffic.”

“don’t make this a habit.” he chides with a huff. you nod wordlessly.

a mind-numbing day had transpired, your walk home filled with self-loathing and nothingness. cursing your manager silently. you were actually looking forward to doing something, despite menial, to occupy your otherwise empty time.

your bedroom door is open at a peculiar angle.

reaching back into your memory with a pointed palm, there’s no conceivable way you left with any hurried note. no physical sort, at least. everything was supposed to be tidy as you left it. but your bedroom door was ajar. only slightly, as not to evoke alarm, you think. but for all your irrationalizations there’s the justification that you’re unpopular for a reason, and acquaintance-less on that note.

you attribute the amplification of your paranoia to the stifling properties of your quirk. you shake your head, and began to gather your sheets and comforter.

you grimace at the wear and tear your fitted sheet had endured, and deduced it was time for a new one. but not now. maybe another day, a day where your head wasn’t full of lead and your shoulders weren’t hunched, head swinging over your shoulders periodically to ensure another assailant was not, in fact, laying in wait. waiting to pounce and desecrate you with grimy palms and a crooked, yellowed grin.

dropping a few deoxidized yen into the slot before slamming the metallic slab back into its crevice, you teeter back and wait for #13 to thrum to life.

the washer’s military grade left you abashed; owning perhaps only two weeks’ worth of clothes and a tattered duvet and fitted sheet physically hyperbolized the machine, and you were too grimed in languish and perspiration to feel abashed.

you watch your reflection in the suds and water whilst finding your ears inadvertently honed in on an amalgamation of sound.

“deku is such a dreamboat, are you kidding me?!”

“the fuck? dreamboat? dynamight’s where it’s at.”

“i don’t know guys, shoto’s got this like adorable ‘i-dunno-where-the-clit-is-but-i’m-willing-to-do-some-investigating’ vibe to him…”

the eye-bagged man with the indigo hair and miffing forwardness must’ve been a vigilante or… indisputably, not pro. you reason. his decorum was laughable, and it shouldn’t be challenging for even the most simpleminded person to discern that that man wasn’t the sociable type.

nevertheless, something in you was struck. presumably, these girls were hero fans, and it was worth bearing some humility on your sleeve in order to do some digging and, as much as you loathed to admit it, exert yourself in tenses other than customer service.

“excuse me.” you say, swinging your chin over your shoulder. “do you guys know that tired looking hero with purplish hair…?”

too wary to glimpse their expressions, your eyes climb that spot you’re well acquainted with.

“he’s a guy.” you add with a sniff.

one girl’s eyes brighten like the headlights of a car. it irks you instantaneously. this joker’s got fans…?

“you mean shinso!! shinso hitoshi!!” she squeals in adoration.

“o-oh, yeah, right! love him!” you laugh uneasily in response.

“who?” one of her friends inquires roughly with, you note, a stereotypical valley twang.

“his quirk is like, super cool, like— mind control,” she winces at her friends’ dubious countenances. “which sounds bad! but he seems like a good guy. he’s never done anything wrong; he’s a hero after all. and he’s a hunk too…”

“yeah, not yet.” the other girl snorts.

you blink singularly, and face the suds once more. seemingly from nowhere, a chill climbs up your spine. you lurch over with a tremor racking through your body. it’s disorienting. arms wrapped around your torso, you glance around, wondering if the sudden and briskness of your movements warranted any deprecating stares. absentminded to the prospect to one of lust.

but there was nothing.

hitoshi shinso yields minimal results, besides the headline highlighting the use of his quirk in a tense hostage situation, and its villainous quality, despite its use for apparent good-doing.

your brows crease— you can’t gauge this guy. and you can’t figure out why you want to.

gingerly, you close the lid of your ancient laptop lid, and try to evoke a state of equilibrium, honing in on that film reel in your mind of the broken dam being sealed, water flow ceasing all together, and everything feels somewhat normal. if there ever was a sense of normality you could latch onto.

your sheets were a little damp—having run short on the fee for another tumble dry, and you flop on your bed and ignore the way it seeps into the fibers of your hoodie. tomorrow would be better.

[tonydaddingham]

Just whacking this out there, but I mean, much as I do think the "past exploits" comment serves as a warning about Heaven's rules/standards, and reach, and the fact that they've exposed Aziraphale's 'crimes' - sort of a 'you know what we expect from your conduct, and you've been continually stepping way out of line, and we're choosing to overlook it for now, but know that we know, and that we will know about future missteps as well, that we don't approve and could still intervene' flung out there for no immediate particular purpose, just to serve as a reminder - by and large, I find the whole restoration offer thing much more bribe than threat, and, well, frankly, personally, I'd consider a bribe of such proportions more concerning than any threat could have been, no?

hello lovely!!!💕 i think ive shared my thoughts on this in dribs and drabs over multiple posts but no harm in going over it again, fuck it-

essentially, i completely agree with you. splitting those two parts of the conversation into two, i definitely see the first part as a warning, and simultaneously an unspoken threat:

what particularly speaks to me is how the metatron hesitates over both 'previous exploits' and 'partnership', as if he's specifically searching for the right turns of phrase. trying to make light of it, keep it friendly and unassuming. but the small, smirky, private smiles, compared to aziraphale's reaction of flitting eyes and tight lips - it feels like metatron is playing a cat-and-mouse game... the guise of it being that it's all a great opportunity, but truthfully they both recognise the unspoken threat is there

(but - to clarify - i don't think the metatron realises that aziraphale has seen it as a threat. ie the metatron thinks he's being slicker than he actually is, when aziraphale is very much able to read between the lines).

i remember making the comparison in a meta somewhere but it just simply strikes me that - if we're continuing with the 'sleeper/secret agent in the height of the cold war' allegory - the metatron is playing the part of the seedy villain that is doing the 'i've been watching you all along, i know precisely what your pressure point is and why' bit that we all know and love from any kind of dramatised espionage story.

essentially, as you said, "we could still intervene" - ie. 'dont think that i haven't seen every single thing, because i have. i know how deep this 'partnership' runs'. there doesn't even need to be an allusion to what metatron could do with this breadth of knowledge - just simply that he has the knowledge is enough, and aziraphale can draw his own horrific conclusions quite easily, even if they never come to fruition.

(on an intertextual level, metatron kinda reminds me of how i'd imagine karla to be - from the john le carré novels... a little bit, idk.)

now as for the second part; the restoration thing:

i completely agree - this absolutely feels like a bribe. 'i know crowley is your pressure point, and you'll fight tooth and nail coming back without him in tow, so im going to offer it to you - this amazing opportunity that you can graciously bestow upon him! "go tell your friend the good news!"'

the metatron may well be disguising a threat in the exchange, but i do think that he believes aziraphale to have taken the offer to return to heaven at face value, in earnest, and therefore he believes that he has aziraphale squarely under his thumb (and none the wiser for it). however, i personally think aziraphale may be constructing his own hasty game - ie. using the offer as an opportunity to "make a difference" as he and crowley would see fit... but the spanner in the works was that crowley refuses to come with him to play on 'their side' in this little counter-game he's trying to devise.

in terms of functionality of bribe vs. threat - absolutely, a bribe promises a greater yield. threats only work so long as it's a) inescapable enough, b) serious enough, and c) the threatened person is sufficiently scared enough that they won't toe out of line. which may well be effective in getting someone to comply, but the problem with making people scared of you or hate you, is that then they all secretly want to see you ruined or destroyed.

bribe someone, however... give them something that they might have always wanted (or, as i think is the case for aziraphale - gives them the opportunity to give another what they've always wanted), and you have a greater chance of having an ally in them forever, someone forever indebted to you.

i definitely think this is where the metatron's reasoning lies. instead of threatening crowley's life, so to speak, he's offering him the chance essentially to defect - and that's way more appealing to aziraphale and likely to get him to fall in line.

for me though, it's all a gross underestimation of aziraphale on the metatron's part. i will die on the hill where aziraphale sees through what the metatron is saying - has indeed read between the lines where he doesn't have a choice one way or another - but chooses to play the part that the metatron expected him to play (of marginalised-angel who is actually the-very-kind-of-angel-heaven-needs, and therefore very-grateful-to-be-given-the-top-job-thank-you) so that the metatron will keep underestimating him. bribe or not, aziraphale did not want to go back to heaven... but if he doesn't have much of a choice regardless, he's going to make it work for him.

now this ask has led me to another thought: i do wonder if the restoration is actually a thing? ie. the metatron wasn't bluffing, it's actually possible.

the metatron is putting an awful lot of bank on crowley saying no, when by all accounts - even if the metatron was directly involved in crowley's fall - the metatron doesn't actually know him... right? he likely knows that crowley is resentful and angry still at having fallen, and the unfairness of the whole shebang, but does that guarantee that crowley wouldn't want to take the restoration offer? id hazard no - so the metatron has to have a failsafe for either eventuality.

either crowley says no, and aziraphale is left broken-hearted/rejected, and that suits metatron fine because then he has aziraphale ridden of crowley's influence. alternatively, crowley returns, and is restored!

...but is restored to the same position as he was when he fell - essentially like restoring a backed-up file where the last save point was ~millions of~ years ago... and that would suit metatron fine also, because then crowley is simply not crowley anymore. plausible deniability on the metatron's part too, for the latter option - 'restoration has never happened before, didn't know what to expect, but you've gotten what i promised you!' idk, interesting thought

[brittanypokk]

Political Discussion and Political Interest

I chose to look at The Outlook on Life Survey (OOL) for my research project.  The variable that first caught my interest in this study was government and political interest.  I’m sure that there are many factors that contribute to an individual’s interest and degree of interest on this topic.  However, while I was scrolling through the other questions, I came across the variable of frequency of political discussion with family and friends, and wondered what impact, if any these two would have on each other.  This variable caught my attention because I recalled that there is much research suggesting that eating meals as a family is a strong predictor of a child’s academic success.  It got me wondering if interaction (discussion), such as ones you would encounter during family meals, would have a similar impact on a person’s interest in politics.  I decided I am most interested to see if the frequency of political discussion is related to an individual’s interest in politics. 

My hypothesis would be that there is a positive correlation between the two variables (more political discussion would relate to a higher level of political interest).  This was confirmed by my search on googlescholar.  I used search terms such as “civic talk and political interest” and “family discussion and political interest” to locate articles that I thought would align most with my hypothesis.  The breadth of research, including a few articles by Casey Klofstad, had a pattern of findings that indicated a positive correlation between the two variables.  Some research, such as the paper How feeling free to talk affects ordinary political conversation, purposeful argumentation, and civic participation, dove deeper into other variables such as the type of “civic talk” and feeling free to talk without being judged and how much those also affected political interest.  However, my research project is just looking to see if I can confirm the positive correlation between the two variables that the breadth of research indicates.        

Klofstad, C. (2010). Civic talk: Peers, politics, and the future of democracy. Temple University Press.

McIntosh, H., Hart, D., & Youniss, J. (2007). The influence of family political discussion on youth civic development: Which parent qualities matter?. PS: Political Science & Politics, 40(3), 495-499.

Wyatt, R. O., Kim, J., & Katz, E. (2000). How feeling free to talk affects ordinary political conversation, purposeful argumentation, and civic participation. Journalism & Mass Communication Quarterly, 77(1), 99-114.

Klofstad, C. A. (2010). The lasting effect of civic talk on civic participation: Evidence from a panel study. Social Forces, 88(5), 2353-2375.

[power-chords]

Gray suit, white shirt, Mr. Anonymous, moving with precision as he browses the engineering section and selects the book Hanna now holds in his hand. Self-contained, focused, alert. Neil flips pages back and forth. The camera angle shows electronic microphotography of various kinds of steel.

Michael Mann & Meg Gardiner, Heat 2, 2022

And how curious, what a distance he sought to travel from the grating sound of that c-h with its breadth of reference, its guttural history and culture, those heavy hallway smells and accents—from this to the unknown x, mark of mister anonymous.

Don DeLillo, Underworld: A Novel, 1997

Hanna was haunted by dreams, dead bodies at a long table looking at him. They didn’t say anything. Their look imposed obligations. (Mann & Gardiner)

Ever in search of the father who disappeared, Delmore bade everyone call him by his first name. His name was the first contradiction to engage his poetic sensibility; it was not the name of a "nice Jewish boy." [...] Lou Reed, his former student, may know the truth: the writer who wrote a timeless story framed as a movie was named after Frank Delmore, a dancer in silent films. Perfect, for Schwartz's consciousness danced through towering, flickering images. His name was emblematic of concerns he explored in his work: generational divides between immigrants and their American-born children, tensions between old-world values and American social aspirations, the old manners and a brash new culture that celebrated the breakdown of class divides and made a liberating religion of artistic endeavor. [...]

Words read for decades or centuries are never erased. Schwartz once said that his subject was "the wound of consciousness." He was a dazzling writer whose work captures the quicksilver mercury of time, the enormous weight of anguish, and the exaltation of finding meaning in what might have been lost sadness and desperate waste. Irving Howe said that Schwartz "found a language for his parents' grief," but the story transforms history, place, and character into primal truth.

Jayne Anne Phillips, "The Wound of Consciousness: An Introduction to 'In Dreams Begin Responsibilities,'" The Iowa Review, 2014

[slowlyferalacolyte]

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In conclusion, whether you're selecting a simple initial necklace, a playful children's jewelry set, or exploring the possibilities of custom design, the key is to choose a piece that resonates with the recipient's personality and your unique connection. With convenient shipping, secure payment, and a commitment to quality, finding that perfect, personalized sparkle has never been easier.

[literaturereviewhelp]

Reviewing literature to solve an identified problem is different from conducting a literature review to search for a gap in knowledge. At the same time, their common features of both types of literature reviews. On the one hand, the purpose of both types of research is to discern what is appropriate and valuable. In the scriptures, Paul says, “do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil” (New International Version Bible, 1983, 1 Thessalonians 5:20-22). Assuming that everything “good” is of true value and everything “evil” is a fallacy, the aim of any research is to distinguish truth from error. On the other hand, both types of literature reviews summarize and synthesize knowledge from only credible and relevant sources. In both cases, researchers need to assess the sources they utilize for reliability and relevancy for the identified problem or topic. Thus, both types of literature review have a somewhat similar purpose and methods. At the same time, there are significant differences that should be acknowledged. When closing the gap, the literature review is driven by curiosity rather than by the immediate need to solve a problem. I understand a gap in the literature as an area in the knowledge that has not yet been explored. A gap in literature may also mean an area of knowledge that has been explored insufficiently, or the findings in the area have been controversial. For instance, when reviewing literature for solving the problem of low SOL scores of minority students in Granby Elementary School, I came across research by Pearman et al. (2019) that aimed at addressing uncertainty concerning correlations between the discipline gap and the achievement gap. The inter-relationships were assessed using a large sample, which helped to diminish the uncertainty in the area, The review of literature for identifying a gap in knowledge eventually adds to the body of knowledge. I understand adding to the body of knowledge as unveiling a relevant truth using robust methodologies for the use and information of future generations. There are numerous examples of adding to the body of knowledge in the Bible. Danial says, “in the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, understood from the Scriptures, according to the word of the LORD given to Jeremiah the prophet, that the desolation of Jerusalem would last seventy years” (New International Version Bible, 1983, Danial 9:2). This demonstrates that Danial conducted a literature review to understand what his vision meant to add to the current body of knowledge. However, using literature to solve a particular problem is different from simply adding to the body of knowledge. When reviewing literature for solving a problem, the literature review is very narrow. Additionally, the findings of such literature reviews are limited and should be used in the future with caution. For instance, Job says: “I was a father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger” (New International Version Bible, 1983, Job 29:16). This shows that Job investigated every case to respond appropriately to the needs of others. Such investigations were helpful for solving the problems of an individual; however, the findings of such investigations could be used for addressing the problem of one individual, not all of them. Thus, the differences between conducting a literature review to search for a gap in knowledge and reviewing the literature to solve a problem are the generalizability of findings and the breadth of the research question. References New International Version Bible. (1983). Web. Pearman, F. A., Curran, F. C., Fisher, B., & Gardella, J. (2019). Are achievement gaps related to discipline gaps? Evidence from national data. Aera Open, 5(4), 1-18. Read the full article

[rosaliachristian]

Monday, February 24, 2025

Bishop Robert Barron

Cycle C

Ordinary Time

7th wk of Ordinary Time

Daily Reading

First Reading

Sirach 1:1-10

Many great teachings have been given to us through the Law and the Prophets and the others that followed them, and for these we should praise Israel for instruction and wisdom. Now, those who read the scriptures must not only themselves understand them, but must also as lovers of learning be able through the spoken and written word to help the outsiders. So my grandfather Jesus, who had devoted himself especially to the reading of the Law and the Prophets and the other books of our ancestors, and had acquired considerable proficiency in them, was himself also led to write something pertaining to instruction and wisdom, so that by becoming familiar also with his book those who love learning might make even greater progress in living according to the law.

You are invited therefore to read it with goodwill and attention, and to be indulgent in cases where, despite our diligent labor in translating, we may seem to have rendered some phrases imperfectly. For what was originally expressed in Hebrew does not have exactly the same sense when translated into another language. Not only this book, but even the Law itself, the Prophecies, and the rest of the books differ not a little when read in the original.

When I came to Egypt in the thirty-eighth year of the reign of Euergetes and stayed for some time, I found opportunity for no little instruction. It seemed highly necessary that I should myself devote some diligence and labor to the translation of this book. During that time I have applied my skill day and night to complete and publish the book for those living abroad who wished to gain learning and are disposed to live according to the law. All wisdom is from the Lord,     and with him it remains forever. The sand of the sea, the drops of rain,     and the days of eternity—who can count them? The height of heaven, the breadth of the earth,     the abyss, and wisdom—who can search them out? Wisdom was created before all other things,     and prudent understanding from eternity. The root of wisdom—to whom has it been revealed?     Her subtleties—who knows them? There is but one who is wise, greatly to be feared,     seated upon his throne—the Lord. It is he who created her;     he saw her and took her measure;     he poured her out upon all his works, upon all the living according to his gift;     he lavished her upon those who love him.

Psalm

Psalm 93:1ab, 1cd-2, 5

The Lord is king, he is robed in majesty;     the Lord is robed, he is girded with strength. He has established the world; it shall never be moved; your throne is established from of old;     you are from everlasting. Your decrees are very sure;     holiness befits your house,     O Lord, forevermore.

Gospel Reading

Mark 9:14-29

When they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them, and some scribes arguing with them. When the whole crowd saw him, they were immediately overcome with awe, and they ran forward to greet him.He asked them, “What are you arguing about with them?”Someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought you my son; he has a spirit that makes him unable to speak;and whenever it seizes him, it dashes him down; and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid; and I asked your disciples to cast it out, but they could not do so.”He answered them, “You faithless generation, how much longer must I be among you? How much longer must I put up with you? Bring him to me.”And they brought the boy to him. When the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. It has often cast him into the fire and into the water, to destroy him; but if you are able to do anything, have pity on us and help us.” Jesus said to him, “If you are able!—All things can be done for the one who believes.”Immediately the father of the child cried out, “I believe; help my unbelief!”When Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “You spirit that keeps this boy from speaking and hearing, I command you, come out of him, and never enter him again!”After crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, “He is dead.”But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he was able to stand.When he had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?” He said to them, “This kind can come out only through prayer.”

Reflection

Friends, in today’s Gospel, Jesus drives a demon from a deaf and mute child and heals him.

The account demonstrates the role of faith in divine healing. Jesus describes his disciples who could not heal the boy as a “faithless generation.” And when the child’s father wonders if Jesus can heal his son, he says, “Everything is possible to one who has faith.” Then he heals the child by driving out the deaf and mute spirit.

We have an adventurous God, and faith is the proper response to such a God. Don’t think of faith so much first in propositional form—the things that I believe—but rather in psychological or spiritual form. 

Faith is an attitude of trust in the God who is always holding out new possibilities to us. When our lives and hearts are aligned to the God who creates the universe, when our wills are directed according to his purposes, we become the conduits of enormous power.

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

24th February >> Mass Readings (GB)

Monday, Seventh Week in Ordinary Time 

(Liturgical Colour: Green. Year: C(I))

First Reading Sirach 1:1-10 ‘Wisdom was created before all things.’

All wisdom comes from the Lord and is with him for ever. The sand of the sea, the drops of rain, and the days of eternity — who will count them? The height of heaven, the breadth of the earth, the Abyss and wisdom — who will search them out? Wisdom was created before all things, and prudent understanding from eternity. The source of wisdom is God’s word in the highest heaven, and her ways are eternal commandments. The root of wisdom — to whom has it been revealed? Her great deeds — who knows them? The knowledge of wisdom — to whom was it manifested? And her abundant experience — who has understood it? There is one who is wise, greatly to be feared, sitting upon his throne. The Lord himself created wisdom; he saw her and apportioned her, he poured her out upon all his works, with all flesh according to his gift, and he supplied her to those who persisted in loving him.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 93(92):1ab. 1c-2. 5. ℟1a

R/ The LORD is king, with majesty enrobed.

The LORD is king, with majesty enrobed. The LORD has robed himself with might; he has girded himself with power.

R/ The LORD is king, with majesty enrobed.

The world you made firm, not to be moved; your throne has stood firm from of old. From all eternity, O LORD, you are.

R/ The LORD is king, with majesty enrobed.

Truly your decrees are to be trusted. Holiness is fitting to your house, O LORD, until the end of time.

R/ The LORD is king, with majesty enrobed.

Gospel Acclamation Cf. 2 Timothy 1:10

Alleluia, alleluia. Our Saviour Christ Jesus abolished death and brought life to light through the gospel. Alleluia.

Gospel Mark 9:14-29 ‘I believe; help my unbelief!’

At that time: Jesus and the others came down from the mountain. And when they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them, and scribes arguing with them. And immediately all the crowd, when they saw him, were greatly amazed and ran up to him and greeted him. And he asked them, ‘What are you arguing about with them?’ And someone from the crowd answered him, ‘Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able.’ And he answered them, ‘O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me.’ And they brought the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. And Jesus asked his father, ‘How long has this been happening to him?’ And he said, ‘From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘ “If you can”? All things are possible for one who believes.’ Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, ‘I believe; help my unbelief!’ And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, ‘You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.’ And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, ‘He is dead.’ But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. And when he had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, ‘Why could we not cast it out?’ And he said to them, ‘This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[programmingandengineering]

CS-5400 Puzzle #2

For your first puzzle assignment, you will be implementing a **Breadth First Search** for this semester’s puzzle. – You can use C, C++, Mono C#, Python 3, JavaScript, Java. – If you plan to use another language, it should be supported by the CS department’s Linux systems. (Please inform me if you are planning to use a language not listed above). – Your main file shall be called `puzzle2`…

[kaiserouo]

im on my train and im bored so let's do this fully, by that i mean completing the maze with the shortest path

the first step is to isolate the path. bumping the contrast is good enough, but a cleaner way to do this is to do a simple thresholding, this makes the image binary (i.e., black and white) and makes the later processes simpler

i picked the threshold manually (value 200), we just need to make the maze look visible

since we wanna find a path (along the white line) from start to finish, we'd like the line to not be so thick, preferrably just one pixel thick, so we have a clearer path to walk on later. this process is called thinning in computer vision

the thresholding result and the thinning result are the below two images

now we walk from bottom to top (either way is fine). we simply do a breadth-first-search (BFS) to find the shortest path, where the nodes are the white pixels and the edges are the link between the neighbors

when the BFS reaches the other side, we can backtrack and get the result path

the time complexity of the maze solving BFS itself should be roughly O(number of white pixels), and the number of pixels is definitely under 1e8 (100,000,000), by the rule of thumb in comp sci field this program should be done under 1 second and there's really no need for further optimization

the code btw

Also two things to note:

1. There are algorithms to generate a valid maze, the (probably) most famous one is called Eller's algorithm, which basically guarentees that if you bucket fill the path at the start it will fill the whole maze. Thats probably why the original post's method didnt really reduce the search space

2. There are also algorithms to complete a maze with simple rules, for example the also famous hand-on-wall rule, where you just use one hand to touch the wall, keep following the wall until you reach the end. It does need some condition on the maze and almost definitely not the shortest path to solve the maze, but yeah you could try if you run out of options

edit: if you are actually looking at the code, tbh all (x, y) shouldve been written as (r, c) (meaning row & column) instead. oh well, im not gonna edit that now

SOBBING

ok so someone in a server im in sent this maze and told another friend to solve it, and i said i'd solve it my plan was simple, i was just going to use the bucket tool to fill in at least the main path from the start to the end.. there was an issue though

the image wasnt very high res so this anti aliasing made the bucket tool not play nicely. i figured i'd just use a levels adjustment layer to bump up the contrast and that worked well!

and so I covered the start and end with red, then used the bucket tool to fill in the rest. ..the maze had no disconnected parts, and my levels adjustment made the seal and ball at the top and bottom become uhh..

FUCKING. EVIL MAZE. JUMPSCARE

[leetcode1]

LEETCODE 987 : COL ROW 2D MAP PATTERN : VERTICAL ORDER TRAVERSAL : C++ S...

LeetCode Problem 987: **Vertical Order Traversal of a Binary Tree** asks you to return the vertical order traversal of a binary tree. Nodes are sorted first by their horizontal distance from the root, then by their depth, and finally by their value in case of ties. To solve this problem, you perform a breadth-first search (BFS), keeping track of each node’s vertical and horizontal positions. Using a map of coordinates to store nodes, you sort them by column (vertical position) and row (horizontal depth) to get the correct traversal order. The final output is a list of lists representing vertical columns.

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

Implementation

Hardest part of any programming assignment. In

Plan your program

????

Profit!

Implementation is very much the ???? line.

Today's task is making something that can find its way around on a map and generate driving directions.

And it's worth breaking down what we're asking for, here.

For reasonably good first-try pathfinding, Depth-First Search (especially if you have the starting coordinates) works well, but if we want to be consistently finding the shortest route and don't mind a bump in how many nodes we look at to get our answer, Breadth-First Search will give us better results more easily. I've got a theory of how one could do DFS and modify it by slicing it up and testing each sub-path BUT a) that's literally only theoretical at the moment and b) I'm pretty sure that if I can get it working and it's superior to BFS for this task it'll still be harder to code, like how working with a search tree is more coding than working with a list.

TL;DR: BFS for now.

Breadth-First just means we put new info about our surroundings at the back of a queue and work with what we already found first. If you've got a robot in an open field (of what it sees as 5x5' squares because you apparently taught it spatial awareness using tabletop RPGs), its process will be,

Check for paths: North, East, South, West. We check both "has this space already been visited" and "can I walk here." If it's already been visited then going there will never be the shortest path because you're doubling back. Refusing to backtrack also precludes one possible kind of infinite loop.

All the valid paths get added to the back of the queue in the order they're looked at. They're also added to the "visited" list so that you can't have accidental double-visits: Picture 3 houses in a triangle. You check for paths, and add the paths from A to B and C. Then you go to B because it's next in the queue. If you haven't already counted C as visited it'll be added to the queue a second time. Note that if your question isn't "shortest path" you might want to record the presence of multiple paths to a goal including the longer ones.

Then you repeat this process from each location in the queue. So if you were at 0,0 your queue would be 0,1 - 1,0 - 0,-1 - -1,0 and then you'd go to 0,1 and add 0,2 and 1,1 and -1,1 to the back of the queue, and then you'd go to 1,0 and because you already added 1,1 to "visited" you wouldn't add it again, and so on.

Each time you do this you'd also check whether you were standing on the goal. If so you could return the path you took to get where you are as your driving directions, because the nature of BFS is to find the smallest number of hops. It's worth noting that if all hops are not created equal in terms of length you may need a different approach. I predict we'll get into weighted edges on graphs in a later week of this course.

Anyway you have two possible outcomes for this loop. If the queue runs out and you haven't found the goal, it's not on the map - or at least, isn't accessible with your standard movement options.

[alianoralacanta]

Part 3 - How to do the Search Part of Academic Research Well

Firstly, decide what you want to know. Then, do one or more of the following:

a) Look in the bibliography of the books on your reading list, especially the parts that pertain to areas where your research would benefit from more detail. I'd recommend this strategy first for people starting out on academic research, as it's likely to hit the "classics" of your area. In first year, that in itself will put you ahead of other students.

b) Go to the library and ask a librarian - or just look at the appropriate parts of the shelves. Borrow or browse the suggested book. Be prepared to wait for popular books - fill the time by going to that part of the library and using overlooked resources in the same area, if possible. Libraries usually have computer-based catalogues nowadays, which will speed things up. As you progress through your degree, this technique and the ones below will become more useful to you.

c) Go to a bricks-and-mortar bookshop and ask for a recommendation (preferably an academic one, but sometimes standard ones can work wonders, especially at first-year level or with students who can say a representative book or two they read previously on the subject). Bookshops most often have computer-based records, too. Do the courtesy of buying the suggested book, especially if there has been an attempt to find a cheaper edition.

d) Go to a second-hand bookshop and just browse. The owner's less likely to be able to make a thorough recommendation due to the breadth of stock (and are less likely to have full catalogues), but hidden gems are likely to be found at least sometimes. This is the most likely to turn up the "source nobody else used" bonus.

e) Find out what else the author(s) of books you've already read wrote. Writers often have specialist areas. This is often easy to establish using a simple web search. Many authors even have websites that go into more detail than

f) If you have friends with book collections in similar subjects, borrow their books. If they haven’t got any, they may at least remember something of what they read. A niche strategy but sometimes useful (I'm currently using that as a partial strategy for history).

g) Find out what specialist search sources your libraries have. Remember that your local library, as well as your academic library, is fair game. Both will have versions of inter-library loan if needed. These search sources are usually computer-based.

This applies if you know the academic term for what you want, or you've been given at least one valid source already (for example, there's an item on your reading list that covers at least some of what you wish to understand). If you don't have that much to go pn, I have you covered; please wait for the part called "I Don't Know Where To Start".

hello! i remembered you took a course in library sciences if i recall correctly, and i've always loved reading your essays. i was wondering who to ask for tips on academic research and i felt you were the perfect person to ask!

strangely my instructor is encouraging us to use scholar GPT, saying that if we didn't use AI for searching for literature, writing, etc then we would fall behind. let me just say, i did, convincing myself i'd only use it that one time on a time crunch. i then got lazy, and i felt extremely unproductive.

i would love any advice or anything really that you could give! i'm in STEM, i don't think that is particularly relevant but just in case it is. although it doesn't have to be exclusive to that, only supplementary. thank you

Warning! Long entry alert!

Thank you for the ask! You remember correctly, I studied library sciences, which included some research training. I'm also in the early part of degree #2 (IT with - long story - a history component).

Firstly, I should ask: is this for searching for literature, or a literature search? To a non-student, those will sound identical. However, there's a big difference at university/college level. Searching for literature is simply getting sources to understand a topic. Most university/college coursework requires this to some extent. A literature search seeks to obtain every significiant item of knowledge about a very narrow question. It is typically not needed until the third year of undergraduate level.

Most of my advice is focused on the first question. However,

Some of the departments have given different ideas for how to research (which makes sense - library science is a social science, IT is a pure science and history is an art). However, most of it is applicable across disciplines.

AI is not ready to do literature searching of either type. It has too many hallucinations and mistakes to be useful. However, I can see why an instructor might ask people to use it anyway:

Part 1 – Providing Alternative Viewpoints

University and college are partly there to provide contrary opinions and challenge received wisdom. Academia in general is aware that AI is a hot topic and most universities and colleges have strong anti-AI-in-academia opinions. Thus, any of several pro-AI positions might be posited by other academics to ensure that students think about their use of AI instead of reflexively taking a position and never reconsidering it.

You may be being asked to consider multiple takes on the subject, as this is good training for the official course material in upper levels of degree courses. If you have no insight into your instructor's motives, this is the safest reason to assume, because it doesn't assume anything about their actual opinion (for example, it's possible to be anti-AI, still advocate thinking about AI through multiple lenses and thus be willing to take an opinion one does not actually believe for the benefit of students' developing a thoughtful approach to AI).

The proper answer to this is to make a sensible decision about AI and be prepared to revise it. You've used the tools currently on offer and found them inadequate, so different techniques are appropriate. You have, therefore, done your honest best as a student to thoughtfully consider the matter.

The sensible move in 2025 is to avoid using AI for literature search. However, colleges and universities want students to think about this and not simply assume the position they had entering university is or will continue to be the case. That applies to AI and almost every other topic the university/college teaches.

[relto]

i met up w my group partner for c++ exercises again today and honestly, i hate it, no thanks