#browns world of carpets

[charlie-the-egg]

does mr. brown from the carpet shop have a first name because im working on something but i need his name, I cant find it helppp

[vidavalor]

The pub scene is even funnier when you consider that poor Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets has likely had this longtime pash on Aziraphale and, like everyone on Whickber Street, he has no idea who exactly The Ginger Goth With The Old Car is. He knows the prevailing theory is mafia but Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets has seen Ginger Goth hanging around Mrs. Sandwich and her "Sandwich Shop" and also around the bookshop a bit and also some naked guy was also at the bookshop recently, so... what's the likeliest conclusion drawn by Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets? That the old bookseller's lonely and paying for it.

He sees them come into the pub and thinks Aziraphale is classy like that and is taking the sex worker for a drink first or maybe that's part of it-- he's gone the whole 'boyfriend experience' route. Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets sees Aziraphale with that chest stroke of that Thin Dark Duke he's paying and while Mr. Brown (of Brown's World of Carpets, just FYI) isn't here to judge and gets it as he's lonely, too... and while he does think the bookseller picks some hot ones... he wants to give Mr. Fell the real thing. The kind of love you can only get between two middle-aged, still-sorta-closeted queers like they are. He'll be someone the bookseller can talk to and find some genuine chemistry with, Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets will be, so he decides to shoot his shot and knows the bookseller is skittish from their past interactions, so he goes for the meeting option. He'll have to come over to drop off the chairs, of course. Give them an excuse to talk more, alone, when Mr. Fell is not, erm, entertaining.

And poor Mr. Brown--President of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Association, Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets is-- fine, upstanding, boring as all holy fuck fella... He's met by Crowley coming over with drinks and a greeting that says this is neither the first time, nor, he doubts, will it be the last that he's had to Husband the bookseller but again, Mr. Brown of Oh, You Know By Now thinks this is a bit, so he's not intimidated.

"I was just absolutely hitting on him for real, unlike you," is what he basically told Crowley when explaining what they were chatting about.

And Crowley's like lol you got him flustered enough to host this meeting. Good on you, Mr. Whoever the Fuck You Are from Whatever Shop You Run. Look at you *go*. 😍 I've got a new favorite human, Aziraphale.

He's all "you astonish me" to Aziraphale, teasing him like you're leading the poor, balding bastard on, angel. I know it's hard for you to reign in your divine sex appeal but you should maybe try. His heart is only human, after all.

Mr. Brown still thinks Crowley's a sex worker though so he doesn't give up and is all like remember, Mr. Fell, our date is right after work on Thursday in a group setting to set you at ease but I'll see you first to set it all up because I want you and I want to make sure you know I'm not just here for the business meeting.

Crowley: That's it-- I'm adopting you, Ballsy Mr. Carpet. I like your style. But you'll never wear my angel down. We've been married for 6,000 years. I am definitely up for saving you from some demons on Thursday though and making it rain on you and literally any fruity, single shop owner in the greater metro area next season. You're on the deck after my shop lesbians. Now piss off, Mr. Barnes. We haven't been to the pub in ages and you're in my seat.

[ineffablyruined]

Good Omens + Text Posts

Holiday Edition

[shoemakerobstetrician]

Thought of Michael’s comment about Twister in Staged:

When I saw this:

I wonder if Mr. Brown of Brown’s World of Carpets flies that flag - I guess it’s technically a rug, right?

[meanwhile-at-the-bookshop]

Today Muriel went for a walk, and came across several coins on the ground. They tried to pick one up, but found it was stuck. Muriel often wondered at some of the things that humans did - maybe it was normal to glue coins down outside carpet stores?

[loveapologist]

You can't help but love his carpets.

@goodomensafterdark

[house-of-furfur]

Artist: @owlgams on Xwitter

[on-till-morning]

Apparently ‘Crowley gets mistaken for a sex worker’ is a sub genre now and I am here for all of it from the heartbreaking to the hilarious and especially if it involves Mr Brown of Brown’s World of Carpets vying for Aziraphale’s attention. (And this fic where Mr Brown thinks Crowley is in the mafia is great too.) Give me more please internets!

[ineffableigh]

Isn't it interesting that we hear two things:

When Mr. Brown (of Brown's World of Carpets) is taken by the demons, we HEAR him getting crunched and mulched up. To me there's no denying that man's Dead As Hell, even if (as I recall, maybe?) Neil said he was just taken. I don't buy it lol.

When Crowley brings him back, it sounds like flesh being knit back together or something. Crowley resurrected a whole-ass crunched up human AFTER demons snacked on that ass.

INTERESTING! This is kind of a huge thing the show just glosses over, like damn lol.

[toyastales]

This bedroom was made for enjoying a good book!

[di-42]

Another limerick for this week's GOetry prompt, a garment.

Shattered Dream

That waistcoat the bookseller wore

Surrounding his tummy galore

I longed to unclasp it

On a bed of carpet

But the redhead returned with a roar.

[snek-eyes]

My point here is... what's my point Well, Mr. Brown clearly had his life changed when Crowley sauntered in wearing that turtleneck, if only he knew about ole Disco Tony's mustache! Some kind of underrated duo potential here.

[vidavalor]

I would have loved to have seen what happened when Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets showed up at the bookshop with twenty folding chairs, a hope and a dream, only to discover that his dreamy Mr. Fell had gone to Edinburgh and left in charge of the shop was... the douchebag in the sunglasses from the pub?! And who the hell is this hot flake of a guy who is very excited to share that he's "Jim! An assistant bookseller!" and won't stop talking about... dusting? Is that some drug euphemism?! What has Mr. Brown's sweet bookseller gotten himself into?!

Does Mr. Brown think Crowley and Gabriel buried Aziraphale in the basement? Is he considering whether or not Mr. Fell needs an intervention or some kind of help from the authorities? Does he finally just ask Crowley who exactly he is only for Jimbriel to laugh like Mr. Brown's kind of thick and say "he's Mr. Fell's husband-- duh"?

Someone help poor Mr. Vacuum. He's very confuzzled.

[indigovigilance]

I think the most poignant S3 minor scene for me would be Mr. Brown comforting Crowley.

Because Mr. Brown was in love with Mr. Fell too. In his mind, he and Crowley were rivals for Mr. Fell’s heart: Crowley won and he lost. Part of him hates Crowley for that, because he believes he could have loved Mr. Fell better.

But when Mr. Brown learns that Mr. Fell has gone to Heaven and sees Crowley moping in his cups, he has a choice to make. He can leave his rival to rot in his misery, or he can reach out and offer comfort to someone who loved the same man that he did.

Because even if Mr. Brown wishes that Mr. Fell had chosen him, he loves him enough to respect his choice, and by extension, to love the man that he chose, accepting from this enigmatic goth the love that Mr. Brown wishes he could have given him himself.

Mr. Brown loves Mr. Fell enough to set aside his jealousy and comfort the ones who lost him too.

[fuzzygoblin]

Christmas Lights is on the agenda at the monthly meeting of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Association, but it's not the only thing on Mr Brown's, of Brown's World of Carpets, mind. As he pines for the mysterious bookseller, his efforts are thwarted by the tall ginger goth.

Thanks to @vidavalor for the exquisite meta.

Christmas Lights - Chapter 1 - A Meeting of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Association

[cynicaesura]

I'm sorry but I just cannot get over the fact that this this man we're all lusting over

This fucking wizard

This fucker right here

Is motherfucjing Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets