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#bruce holding a bug and on the verge of tears: no i got this
were-wolverine · 7 months
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if damian got to have a normal childhood, he definitely would’ve been the type of kid that picks up bugs and shows them to his dad with a giant grin
meanwhile bruce is terrified of bugs and has to smile through the pain as damian tries to get him to hold a grasshopper or something
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awhitehead17 · 5 years
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Can You Quit Life?
Tim & Jason, Hurt/Comfort, Jason is a good brother, Stress, Burn Out, Break Downs, Brotherly Love, General Rating.
Summary: He quits everything, actually he just quits life. Was that allowed? To quit life? Was it even possible? Tim’s not sure but with the way he’s going, he’ll find a way to make it possible.
Also on AO3
Enjoy! :D
He’s done. That’s it he gives up.
There’s so much to do but it’s like he has no energy left to do it. As he goes to do one of his many tasks he gets a few minutes into it and instantly wants to give up. One look at the screen where the document was just wants to make him tear his hair out. He’s now gotten to the point where there’s so much to do that he doesn’t want to do any it.
He wants to cry. He wants scream, shout, whack something. There’s too many emotions running through his head and its messing with him. There’s so many things that are demanding his attention, there’s so much that he’s trying to juggle around in his life and it’s all just stressing him out.
He doesn’t know what to do any more. 
Currently he’s sat at his desk in his room at the Manor, working on his laptop trying to do corrections on an essay for school. Well that was one task he was attempting to do, the other was a report for a recent Titan’s mission he had just finished.
The essay was frustrating him in many ways. The teacher had left comments on where he needs to expand his explanation, how he needed to add more screenshots and go into further depth with his analysis. He gets what he needs to do but how was he supposed to do it? It wasn’t clear on how much more detail he needed to go into, he’s pretty sure there’s no way he can explain his point any more than what he already has done.
Then there’s the report which was bugging him. As he tries to work on his essay all he could think about was the report, but then when he worked on the report all he could think about was the goddamn essay!
That’s of course not mentioning everything else on his mind and plate that he’s trying to deal with, these just happen to be the two current things.
The report was driving him mad because whenever he would type something it wouldn’t make sense. Then once he got further into the report the order and timings of things didn’t make sense, it was like all of his thoughts were just scattered on the page with no structure. Nothing made sense! He couldn’t give Cyborg a crappy report like that! It needed to be right, it needed to be perfect, it need to be exactly parallel to what happened on the mission.
He was ready to call it quits. After flicking between the two documents for the last three hours Tim was ready to cry and just give up.
Those two things were just start of the list. He also had the lingering weekly patrol report to write up which was hovering in the background, include that with all of his school work, then trying to fit in his social life (one that barely exists), then the training, patrol and even the time for himself. It was just too much and Tim was done with everything.
How do people do it? How do they manage to juggle so much around. Like working a full time job, then going home and looking after a family, they gotta go shopping at some point and they can still meet up with friends. How do they do it? Because Tim was struggling, he knows he was struggling. At this point he’s just on the verge of some sort of mental break down and burnout.
But it’s not like he could tell anyone about this. He couldn’t go to his family, they struggle enough with their own problems, they don’t need Tim’s grief added to their plates. It’s the same with his friends. They’re all busy with their own shit, they don’t need Tim complaining about his life to them when they have much bigger problems.
He leans back in his chair and takes a deep breath before letting it out. Okay, one thing at a time. That’s how it’s done right? He looks back at his computer screen and finds the report currently open, he scrolls to the top and plans on reading it through, maybe even just re-writing it and starting from scratch.
He only gets a couple of paragraphs in before he wants to smash his computer because of how frustrated he is with it. Tim reaches up and grips his hair and lets out a long agitated noise before thumping his head down onto his desk with a loud bang.
He doesn’t register the pain that spikes through his forehead at contact. All he could think about was why it wasn’t working. What was he doing wrong?
The next noise Tim lets out was close to a pathetic whimper. He was done. That’s it, he quits.
He quits everything, actually he just quits life. Was that allowed? To quit life? Was it even possible? Tim’s not sure but with the way he’s going, he’ll find a way to make it possible.
The sudden knock at his door gets his attention. Just as it begins to open Tim bolts upright in his chair. He spins around and watches as Jason strolls casually into his room, a smile was on his face and he was holding something in his hands.
“Hey Timbers, I was wondering – you okay?”
Jason changes his sentence halfway through once he looks at Tim. Tim watches as his older brother looks him over. The expression on his face must have given him away or something so Tim tries to make it go blank as possible.
He’s just as annoyed as he is relieved at Jason’s appearance. His brother was now offering a distraction from his work but at the same time he kinda interrupted Tim’s early mid-life crises and has put a hold on his breakdown. There was no way Tim was going to break down in front of his brother, in front of Jason of all people.  
Tim shrugs, trying to act nonchalant, “Nothings wrong. I’m fine. What’s up?”
Jason wasn’t buying his act. Tim could tell by the way his brother stares at him with narrowed eyes and the way his lips press tightly together.
Tim finds his patience was suddenly running low. He sends the older a glare, “Was there something you wanted Jason or not. I’m busy, so…” He trails off hoping to prompt the man into sharing.
It’s a few moments before he answers. Tim watches as Jason looks at him before glancing down at the object in his hands. After what seems like a mental debate, Jason tucks the object into his jacket pocket before taking a seat on the edge of Tim’s bed facing him.
“You know what,” Jason says leaning back onto his elbows, pinning him with a look, “It doesn’t matter. How are you Tim? It’s been a while since we had a catch up.”
Tim stares at him trying to understand what just happened. Jason was now lying on his bed, looking at him expectantly and Tim just had to somehow accept that? His brother does have a point, it has been a while since they had a catch up, but now wasn’t the time to do that. As Tim was stressing about just minutes ago, he was busy, he didn’t need to deal with Jason’s games at that moment, nor was he in the mood for it.
He takes a breath and lets it out, “Jason, what do you want? I know you didn’t just come up here for a chat. I’m busy so can we have this conversation later on, please.”
“Uhhhh, na.” His leg comes up and kicks Tim’s chair, “What’s got you so busy that you can’t talk to your own brother?”
Everything.
Tim slaps his foot away and glares at him, “Just a school report that I need to get done.”
No, that wasn’t it. It was a school essay and a Titan’s report. Great, now Tim can’t even tell the difference between them. God he needs a break.
Jason makes a humming sound, “Oh yeah? Is it interesting? Can I help at all?”
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” Tim snaps at him, having had enough. This wasn’t helping his situation at all, he was no closer to finishing both documents than what he was three hours ago.
Something in his tone must have finally snapped Jason out of his game because his brother was giving him a concerned look. “Hey, don’t get all snappy with me Tim. I was just asking. You seem off, is there anything you want to talk about?”
Tim grits his teeth to stop himself from snapping a second time. “I told you, I’m fine. Just busy.”
He could feel all of his emotions stirring once again, maybe stronger than before. The stress and the frustration blending into one where it’s becoming overwhelming. Tim could feel it building up inside of his chest. His breathing was getting faster and he had to start blinking to try and keep the tears at bay. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to break down.
Jason pushes himself up and perches on the end of Tim’s bed facing him, he laces his hands together and rests his arms on his knees as he leans forward. Concern and worry crossing over his features as he quietly talks, any sense of humour or annoyance completely gone.
“Tim you’re not okay. I can see it dude. You’re struggling, trying to keep yourself together even when it all gets too much. Talk to me Tim, tell what’s going on.”
Tim takes a shaky breath trying to keep the last bit of control of his emotions he can, it was right in his chest, a pressure just waiting to burst, he could also feel it behind his eyes wanting to come out in waves of tears.
He looks away from Jason and swallows thickly, “There’s nothing to talk about.” His voice was rough and thick with emotion. At this point it was taking all of Tim’s willpower in stopping himself from breaking.
“Timmy,” Jason sighs, “I know you probably don’t want to hear this but I’m going to tell you anyway. It’s okay to ask for help, you’re allowed to say you’re struggling, that you’re stressed or that you need a break. It’s okay to talk to someone.”
Tim shakes his head in refusal and the first few tears escape his eyes as his breath hitches. He clenches his eyes tight and refuses to look at Jason. It’s not okay, it’ll never be okay.  
“I know we haven’t had the best relationship in the past Timbo, so it doesn’t have to be me you talk to. It can be anyone. Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Cass one of your Titan buddies. Anyone you feel comfortable with Tim.”
Tim shakes his head again, “I can’t Jason!” He chokes out. “I just can’t!”
“You can Tim. It’s okay. I promise, keeping it locked inside you like this doesn’t help.”
The tears were staring to fall down his face more freely and Tim couldn’t stop them this time. He swipes ferociously at his eyes in a poor attempt to keep Jason from seeing them. It was too late though. The pressure that was building inside of his chest was too much to ignore, he found it hard to breathe as every time he tried his breath would hitch with a sob.
“C’mere Timmy.”
Before he knew what was happening, Jason was there grabbing one of his shaking hands and pulling him up to his feet. Without any second thoughts Jason pulls Tim into a hug. His brother’s arms wrap around him and hold him close.
Unable to resist Tim buries his face into Jason’s chest, letting his arms wrap around the man and cling tightly to him as everything he had been feeling finally breaks free as the dam collapses. He sobs into Jason chest, letting out pitiful cries as he does. All the stress, frustration, anger and annoyance he had been feeling finally comes out in one big messy, snotty break down.  
Tim feels Jason’s arms around him as they hold him tightly. One hand was resting on his head, the man’s fingers gently going through his hair while the other rubs down his back and sides. Doesn’t that just make him cry more? Why was Jason allowing this? Wasn’t he just wasting the man’s time, uselessly sobbing into him, having an inevitable break down that’s finally caught up to him.
Tim didn’t understand, but all he could do in that moment was cry.
It was a while until he was able to calm down and get control of himself. Even when the tears finally stop he keeps his head tucked in Jason’s chest, a lame attempt to avoid making eye contact with his brother after all of that. His head was hurting now too, a throbbing going on inside of his skull from where he had been crying.
Didn’t he say that he wasn’t going to break down? Well apparently his body didn’t get the memo and what makes it worse is that he broke in front of Jason off all people.
Even after his crying tampers off Jason stays there holding him, stroking his back and head with comfortingly. Tim didn’t want to face his brother because of the embarrassment but also because this was nice. Now that his head was sort of cleared, he could appreciate the gesture even as embarrassing as it was.
Several more moments go by and soon enough Jason stops his actions, his arms release Tim from the hold. Tim doesn’t fight it as he’s gently pushed away from Jason’s body but he doesn’t exactly co-operate either. He refuses to look up at his brother.
Jason seems to have a different tactic however, he moves them around and pushes Tim down onto the edge of his bed while he settles in a crouch just in front of him. Tim adverts his eyes to stop himself looking at the man, how was he supposed to face Jason after that meltdown?
“How do you feel now?” Jason asks quietly, reaching up to brush a thumb underneath his eyes where there were now tear stains on his cheeks.
Tim swallows and responds, “I feel fine.” His voice was thick and sounded wrecked when he spoke,
At his answer Jason huffs and smacks him on the back of the head. Tim squawks at the treatment and snaps his eyes to his brother in a mild glare, “Hey! What was that for?”
The hands move so they’re now cupping his face, Tim finds himself unable to look away from his brother now. It’s only then that he realises that Jason played him. Annoyed as he was with the action Tim has to admit that was a good move.
“’I feel fine’ is not an answer Tim. I’m going to ask you again and if you say ‘fine’ or anything similar to that word you’re going to get more than just a light smack on the back of the head, you understand.” Jason doesn’t wait for him to respond, he quickly moves onto asking his question. “How do you feel now?”
Tim stares at him, biting down the instinctive response of saying he was fine. Why was Jason doing this? Why was his brother putting so much effort and time into making him talk and seeing how he was? Tim didn’t get it. As for his own emotions and feelings… well he didn’t really know those either.
He was of course confused, confused by Jason’s current behaviour. But inside, maybe lighter? He didn’t feel like he couldn’t breathe anymore, that pressure that was building in his chest was now completely gone, allowing him the room to breathe easily once again.
“Lighter,” he says eventually. “The pressure isn’t in my chest anymore.”
Jason smiles, “That’s good.” He let’s go of Tim’s face and pulls away slightly, making room between them. “I’m not going to ask you anymore on feelings because I know that you’ll just end up recoiling, so instead I’m going to ask, what made you get into this state? Obviously it’s all been building up but what pushed you over the edge Tim?”
Tim swallows and glances over at his desk where his laptop was, the screen now dark from where it’s clearly gone to sleep. He’s glad Jason didn’t ask about his feelings because he’s not entirely sure he could put into words what he was feeling.
He moves his focus back to Jason, “My work I guess. It was just stressing me out and then you came in and started questioning me on it and I got overwhelmed I guess and then boom, it exploded.” He makes a small explosion gesture with his hands as he talks
Jason studies him for a moment before he’s nodding, “Okay, you know what I have a plan.”
Tim frowns at hearing that, “Your plans usually suck.”
His brother makes a noise in protest and smacks his knee, “I’ll have you know I can come up with good plans, occasionally, this being one of those times.” At Tim’s sceptical look he rolls his eyes and explains his plan. “What we’re going to do is right now, absolutely nothing. We’ll set up shop in the media room and chill out watching a couple of movies before calling it a night.”
Tim opens his mouth to protest but Jason cuts him off with a stern look and a raised finger, “Then tomorrow you and I are going to go through one of your projects and get that completed. After that we’ll take a break and depending on the time we’ll start your second project.”
Tim stares at him in disbelief. Why was Jason planning this? Surely his brother had more important things to do than spend his time with Tim helping him on his projects.
“We’ll go through your work together, work out what’s getting you agitated and work through the problem together. It’ll help having someone talking you through on what you can write and in what order.”
Tim was still staring at him. Of course what he was saying makes sense but Tim couldn’t get over what his brother was offering. All he could get out was a quiet, “Thank you Jason.”
Seeming to know what he was thinking Jason stands up, stretches his legs and looks down at him, “Tim I care about you. That’s why I want to help. You clearly need it and this way you won’t be getting smothered by the Golden Boy or Daddy Bats. We’ll take it slow and together we’ll get through this, you’ll get through this alright.”
Swallowing again, Tim nods, “Sure. thank you, I really appreciate it. I’m sorry for breaking down on you like that. I really wasn’t meant to.”
“Don’t be an idiot Timbo. It was clearly long overdue but now it’s happened lets work on not letting it happen again yeah?” He holds out a hand to Tim to help him up, “Now come on, it’s movie time. I’ll even let you pick.”
Tim takes his hand and together they make their way down to the media room and Tim can say he feels lighter than before. He knows that it’s still going to be stressful when he goes back to the work but he thinks having Jason there to help guide him on what to do will be a major help. Both with his work and keeping his emotions under control.
He can do this, he can get through this. Well hopefully. He figures he’ll just have to take it day by day and now Jason will be there to help him through it, he thinks it may be possible after all.
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Partners in Crime #3
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After spending some needed girl time, the pair headed back to STAR Labs.
(Y/N) could hear Caitlin, in the passenger seat, talking on the phone in hushed whispers. She didn't think much of it, not wanting to be nosy. The whispering conversation continued, when the car pulled into the lab parking lot. She waited patiently, turning off the ignition, for her friend to finish the phone conversation.
Caitlin's face lit up all of a sudden. "Alright, I'll bring her in then." Hanging up, she turned to her friend with a big smile.
"What are you so happy about? You're starting to freak me out." (Y/N) leaned against the door, distancing herself from her creepily smiling friend.
"Well, Cisco just told me that our fifth team member is present in the lab, and to bring you in to meet him!"
"Why were you being so secretive on the phone, then?" she asked.
"You'll see when we get there!"
Caitlin managed to get out of the car in record time, flinging open the driver's door, grabbing (Y/N)'s hand, and dragging her into the lab.
"Cait, Caitlin, c-can we slow down a bit?" (Y/N) wheezed, out of breath. But she couldn't help but smile, seeing how giddy Caitlin was. She hadn't seen her friend this happy, since Ronnie died.
"There you guys are! What took you so long?" The resident tech-genius whined. "Was there a shoe sale on the way here that you had to stop by?" He was still munching a Twizzler when they entered the room.
"Hey! There's nothing wrong with wanting to drive safe. Slow and steady wins the race, or in this case, stay alive." (Y/N) thought of herself to have superb driving skills, especially better than Cisco, who thought the speed limit sign was more of a suggestion for drivers, and Caitlin, who drove extremely slow in case she accidentally hit a butterfly.
"And where is this important person I need to meet?" Frankly, she was a little annoyed at the mystery of the fifth person. It had been bugging her all day, and having impatience as a personality trait was not helping the situation. Who was this secretive person who she had practically had to set an appointment to meet?
"Well, the need to wait is no more. Here he is!" Cisco stepped to his right, wiggling his fingers at the ground behind him.. "TA-DA!"
"A dog?! We have a team mascot? Oh my goodness, he is so adorable!" She half-whispered, half-screamed because the little puppy was sleeping, adorably, on the floor. (Y/N) was literally jumping up and down, unable to contain her excitement on the news of the unmasked fifth member.
So worth the wait.
"Dang it, I thought you would be mad, or at least a little annoyed." Cisco was disappointed at her reaction, thinking she would be mad that the mysterious fifth person wasn't even a person. "I completely forgot that you loved dogs."
Caitlin rolled her eyes at his attempt to annoy (Y/N) and turned her attention to trying to calm down her best friend. "(Y/N). (Y/N). (Y/N)!!" Her attempts failed, however, as her friend now kneeled on the floor, cooing at the sleeping puppy. "(Y/N), can you listen to me for five seconds, please?"
(Y/N) stopped her fawning, and stared at her friend, who was cutting into her time of cooing at the puppy.
"Yes?"
"Cisco was just kidding. We actually have someone, a real person, we want you to meet, before you lose your mind again over the puppy." Caitlin gestured her hand over to the area behind (Y/N), where a figure dressed in, what appeared to be, scarlet red spandex stood.  
"That cannot be comfortable," she commented, under her breath.
She focused her attention on his face, which she couldn't see very clearly. Standing up, she brushed off her knees and walked over to the red figure with her hand extended out.
"Hello sir! I'm (Y/N)! Pleasure to meet you!"
Even as she got closer, she couldn't make out his face very well. It seemed as though it was vibrating or something. She rubbed her eyes, thinking her vision was messing with her.
The red figure took her hand, and shook it, but didn't do anything else. He just continued to look at her.
"Umm, this would be the part where you tell me your name?" Immediately, the handshaking stopped.
"Wait, (Y/N). You don't know who this?" Caitlin voiced from behind.
"Of course I know who this is. You're 'The Flash'! But I meant, what's your real name? You must have a real name right? Or am I supposed to guess? Is it Clark? Bruce? Bart? Wilson? Wait no, you don't really give off the vibe of a Wilson…" She continued rattling off names off, already lost in her own world.
Caitlin sighed, not liking to have to raise her voice. "(Y/N). (Y/N). (Y/N)!!"
"Bernie? Stewar-" She looked at her friends' faces. They didn't seem as excited as she was.
"What?"
"We can't really tell you his identity…"
"Yeah, Dr. Wells told us that we shouldn't, or can't, tell you for your safety."
She gave her friends an 'are you kidding me' look.
"Well, WE aren't allowed to tell you, but if you found out for yourself, we couldn't stop you," the voice behind the vibrating face reasoned. (Y/N) turned back to the source of the voice, the man in the spandex suit. She gave him the same look she gave her friends.
"For all I know, you could be the guy selling hot dogs on the street. How would I even find out? Actually, the better question is, why should I even try?"
"The answer is closer than you think," the superhero hinted.
"At least give me a better hint." She pleaded the Flash and her friends, with the best puppy dog eyes she could muster. But to her friends, it just looked like she was trying to imitate bug eyes, so it didn't help her cause.
"So until I find out who he really is, he has to walk around in that costume whenever I'm here?"
"Yup. And it's not a costume, it's a superhero suit. There's a difference," Cisco insisted.
"Well, I do love a man in uniform." she said jokingly. "I think I'll take my time on this case."
"It's true, she does." Caitlin laughed at her friend's antics.
The Flash, on the other hand, seemed flustered at her words, making him stutter. "I-uh-um. Well, nice meeting you Ms-"
"Call me (Y/N)."
"Right. Um, well, I'll be leaving now. Let me know if anything happens or if you need me."
With an awkward wave, the Flash sped out of the room, making any loose papers fly about in the air.
"You know, you guys should really buy some paperweights." (Y/N) suggested to her friends. "Where's he going by the way?"
"Probably off to another rendezvous with his crush." Cisco informed, with raising his eyebrows up and down, in a suggestive manner.
"Huh, interesting. I wonder who she is?"
"Cisco, don't you dare." Seeing him about to answer her question, Caitlin hurried to interrupt him.
"Any-who, back to the real important matter at hand." (Y/N) gestured to the puppy on the floor. "Who's puppy is she?" The puppy of the matter was still sleeping, not even bothered by the previous events in the room.
"It's yours actually."
"WHAT?!"
With that yell, the puppy woke up from it's nap and gave out a yawn, before running over to (Y/N) and pouncing near her feet. He took a second to sniff the new human, before reverting back to jumping up and down.
"What do you mean?" (Y/N) was on the verge of tears from the happiness, and sadness that this whole thing might be a dream. She pinched herself to check. "Ow.. Yup, definitely not a dream."
"We got you a puppy as a welcome gift! I know how much you've wanted one but couldn't when you were in Starling." Caitlin exclaimed.
Her previous land lord didn't allow her to keep dogs in her apartment because of his allergies, so she had to hold off on her dream of becoming a dog lady (similar idea to 'cat lady', but instead with dogs). Well, she wasn't serious on the dog lady thing, but was devastated upon finding out that she wouldn't be able to get a dog. But now, with her changed living spaces, she could.
"You guys, you are the best friends that anyone could ever have." Caitlin's eyes got teary at her words, and Cisco was already a sobbing mess. "What's his name?"
Wiping away her tears, Caitlin responded. "We were waiting for you to name him, since he's yours."
Laughing, (Y/N) looked at the dog closely, through her watering eyes. "Hmm. I think I'm going to call you Chewy. Short for Chewbaca the Third."
The dog barked at his name. "Good! I'm glad you like the name! You're gonna be our new mascot!" Smiling , she picked him up in her arms gently.
"Well, if he's our new mascot, you better be ready to bring him in to the lab everyday. He's as much part of the team as anyone of us." Cisco said.
"Of course! And I hereby decree, Cisco Ramon and Caitlin Snow, the godfather and godmother of my child Chewy. If anything were to happen to me, I entrust him in your care." (Y/N) announced dramatically, sniffling through her stuffed nose.
"And the moment's over." Caitlin sighed again at her overly dramatic best friend.
(A/N) I really want a dog. I really want a dog. I really want a dog. I think if I say this enough times, maybe one will appear.
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