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jemshopes · 2 months

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Model My Clothes || Taegi

--Taegi touch starvation AU

After his last breakup almost two years prior, Yoongi moved to a quieter part of the city and his brother got him a job working at his construction company until Yoongi could find himself something more permanent.

Yoongi now lives closer to the artists and the musicians of the city, the independent and peaceful coffee shops and bookshops and the places that sell handmade souvenirs and clothes. In his spare time he writes his own songs and performs in dimly lit corners of bars. He doesn’t particularly have big dreams of promoting his music or becoming famous from it. He just enjoys playing it and disappearing once his performances are over. He's content with his life, but often he finds himself craving intimacy late at night. With his last partner he had often fallen asleep in her arms. Even now it’s been two years and he doesn’t miss her anymore, he craves the intimacy of having someone. And yet he hasn’t quite been able to bring himself to start dating again. And he’s never been that into one night stands.

The routine he’s fallen into gets disrupted one day when he’s on his lunch break and has gone to get himself a coffee from his favourite shop. He's sitting at the counter, waiting for his drink, when a man sits beside him. Probably the most beautiful man yoongi has ever seen.

He smiles at yoongi softly. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Yoongi says faintly, feeling his whole body grow warm.

The man’s smile becomes a self-conscious grin as he twists to face Yoongi. “Okay, so this is probably a long shot, but I was wondering if you’ve ever considered modelling clothes?”

“I—“ to say Yoongi is taken aback would be an understatement. He's covered in brick dust and other grime and his hard hat is lying at his elbow. “I-I can’t say I have.”

“Would you be interested in trying it out? For money. I will pay you.”

Yoongi bites back a bemused smile. “Is this the part where you invite me to your apartment and actually you’re trying to take pictures of me naked?”

The man laughs, a deep, warm sound. Then purses his lips. “It's not like that. It would be at my studio. I realise that sounds really dodgy, but I swear it’s not. I design my own clothes and I'm looking for people to model them. All you’d have to do is let me take some pictures of you wearing them. I can show some I've already done, if you like?”

“Sure. Why not?" Yoongi says.

The man pulls out his phone and after a few taps shows the screen to Yoongi.

Yoongi has to lean in close to see, but finds himself a little in awe. “You made these? they’re amazing.”

“I embroider the patterns by hand,” the man says quietly.

“Why don’t you model them yourself?” Yoongi asks. Maybe he’s flirting. Maybe it makes him smile when the man’s cheeks turn pink.

“I have in the past, but I find it embarrassing using those photographs to promote my stuff. I don't like looking at myself.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Yoongi says.

“I'm also working on a project at the moment where I paint people wearing my clothes,” the man says carefully. “So it’s a little hard to model and paint myself at the same time.”

“Painting as in a portrait kind of thing?”

“Something like that, yeah. I'd pay by the hour if you’re interested in that too.”

“You’re serious?'' Yoongi asks incredulously. “You really want me to model clothes? You saw a dusty construction worker and were like yeah that's the guy for me?”

“Well… if I'm totally honest I've thought you were the guy for me since I saw you performing here a few weeks ago,” the man says.

It's Yoongi's turn to go pink. “So you're stalking me?”

“No, I've been coming here for years. They hang my art up sometimes. Today I just saw an opportunity and took it.”

Yoongi tells himself he should say no. After all he’s never modelled and he’s bound to make a fool out of himself. but… “Well, maybe this is a day for taking opportunities then.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yeah, why not? I'm Yoongi.”

“Taehyung.”

* * *

And that is how Yoongi and Taehyung meet. Yoongi doesn’t really expect it to go any further than flirting, doing a little modelling and then parting ways. Taehyung can’t pay him much, but he doesn’t mind.

He's self-conscious when he walks into Taehyung's studio, but it’s a nice kind of nerves that he hasn’t experienced in a long time. And everything is going well until Taehyung approaches him where he’s posing and takes hold of his waist to adjust his position slightly. It sends a jolt through Yoongi, a breathy sigh of satisfaction he hadn’t known was in him. It feels as though his whole body might go limp. It's euphoric.

“Sorry,” he manages to mumble. “Cold hands.”

Taehyung smiles. “I'll warm them up next time.”

There isn’t a next time. At least not while Yoongi is being photographed or painted.

Taehyung pays him on the final day and as he walks Yoongi to the door he says, “This is all going to be displayed at a local gallery next week. Would you like to come with me and see?”

“I don't know. I don't really like looking at myself.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Sure,” Yoongi laughs softly. “I'll come. Why not?

“It's a date.”

“Yeah. A date.” He likes the sound of that too much.

* * *

The date is the first of several and yoongi finds himself surprised and a little frustrated that Taehyung is taking so long to kiss him. By so long, Yoongi means, it’s been two dates and he’s never found himself craving something so much in his life. The gallery opening was a wonderful night, full of flirting. Maybe Yoongi had had an internal freakout when Taehyung had put a hand on the small of his back, and maybe he had pretended to get a text from a friend so he could excuse himself early, but… but… okay, it’s Yoongi’s fault Taehyung hasn’t had a chance to kiss him yet. Maybe Yoongi isn’t ready for another relationship yet. Emotionally he’s still a bit of a mess.

He tells Taehyung that on their fourth date, sitting on a low stone wall on the pier, the sound of waves lapping at the shore is a calming noise in the background.

“My last relationship was two years ago. I literally moved across the city to get away from everything when we broke up. I thought I was in love, but then we started fighting and it never seemed to end. I haven't dated anyone since then, and I don't have feelings for her anymore, but I think I'm a bit of a mess from everything. I don't know how ready I am for a relationship.”

“I understand,” Taehyung says. “If you're not ready then that’s okay. We don’t have to carry on seeing each other.”

“No, I want to carry on seeing you,” Yoongi says hastily. “I kind of…” he grins awkwardly, embarrassed, “I feel better just having said all that. I just didn’t want you to think I was putting off kissing you because I didn't like you. It’s just a big step because if I’m going to date you I'd like there to be the possibility of us becoming serious. I don't really do casual relationships.”

“I really like you,” Taehyung says, big brown eyes sincere. “There’s a possibility.”

Yoongi let out a breathy laugh, looking down at his hands shyly. “Okay. Good.”

“I didn't think you were avoiding kissing me,” Taehyung says after a moment. “I haven't been with anyone in five years, so it makes me nervous… trying again. My best friend has been travelling the world for a year and a half, so I haven't had much physical contact of any kind for awhile. So now even touching your hand feels… like…”

Yoongi relaxes, eyes prickling. His head clouds when he touches Taehyung’s fingers lightly. Everything is blissful and a little too overwhelming, like he might melt.

“I haven't been touched a whole lot either, in any way, since I moved. Most of my friends are still back there and we haven’t visited each other much and I haven't had any hookups or anything.”

“I did think you might be,” Taehyung says thoughtfully. “You've seemed really sensitive to touch. Do you miss it?”

“All the time,” Yoongi breathes. “Maybe, um, maybe you’d want to come back to my place tonight? Maybe not to have sex, maybe just to watch a film or something.”

Taehyung smiles. “Would you be okay with me kissing you sometime during the film?”

“Depends how good the film is.”

“Can I pick the film?”

“Are you going to pick something bad on purpose so I'll be okay with you kissing me?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay then. Yeah. You can pick.”

* * *

Their first kiss is soft and sweet and Yoongi enjoys it very much, but if he’s honest he thinks they both enjoy being curled close on his couch more than anything else, hardly aware of the world around them.

Ngl if I turned this into a full length au the pining would last a lot longer and we'd see scenes of both of them crying to themselves about how much they need hugs.

#jemshopesprompts #bts aus #bts fanfic #bts #min yoongi #taegi au #taegi #bts taehyung #yoongi x taehyung #touch starved

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syuga-s · 3 months

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something good can work

(a.k.a who do you blame part two)

w.c. 8.2k pairing. Yoongi x fem!reader, Taehyung x fem!reader genre. same ol' angst sorry, nothing smutty just big emotions a/n. YAY THE 2ND PART IS OUTTTTT!! i didn't think i'd take this long i don't even have an excuse,, very poorly proofread, i'll get to that sometime later i just wanted to get this out lmao a very special tag for @amyz78 ♡

Gemma chimed in, her eyes sparkling mischievously as she surveyed Taehyung. “Ooh, cute!” gave him a wink and added, “You sure know how to pick ’em.”

As you and your girls exchanged hugs as if you hadn’t seen them in forever, Jin’s keen gaze fell on Taehyung, taking in his appearance with a quick yet thorough assessment. With a friendly smile, Jin extended his hand in greeting. “Hey man, I’m Jin. Nice to meet you.”

Taehyung returned the gesture, albeit with a slight hesitance in his movements. “Likewise bro, Taehyung” he replied.

Noticing Taehyung’s vintage baseball cap adorned with the logo of the team, Jin’s interest piqued. “Nice cap,” he remarked, gesturing towards Taehyung’s headwear. “you a big fan?”

Taehyung’s eyes lit up at the question, “Yeah, love the game,” he replied, a hint of enthusiasm seeping into his voice. “I’ve never been to a live one though, it’s my first.”

“I highly recommend the live experience,” Jin chimed in, his tone friendly yet genuine. “There’s nothing quite like being at the stadium, especially when you’re cheering for your team.”

Taehyung nodded in agreement, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I can imagine,” he replied, his eyes flickering with excitement. “I already feel a whole different vibe compared to watching one on TV.”

As the conversation flowed effortlessly between them, Jin couldn’t help but notice the subtle nuances in Taehyung’s demeanor. Despite his initial reservations, Taehyung seemed to relax in Jin’s presence.

For Jin, deciphering people was second nature, a skill honed over years of observation and analysis. With each passing moment, Jin found himself growing more intrigued by this newcomer in your life, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive as he sought to decipher Taehyung.

Between the shouting at players, ordering beers, turning over to talk with the girls, and all that. The conversation between Jin and Taehyung flowed to their lines of work.

As the game progressed and the atmosphere at the stadium grew more animated, Jin found himself engaged in conversation with Taehyung, although with a growing sense of unease gnawing at the back of his mind. Despite his best efforts to remain cordial, Jin couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something off about this guy.

“So, what do you do for a living?” Jin inquired, his tone casual yet genuinely curious.

Taehyung’s expression took on a smug air as he leaned back in his seat, a self-assured smirk playing on his lips. “I’m a property developer,” he replied, his voice laced with a hint of superiority. “It’s a rather lucrative field, I must say.”

Jin raised an eyebrow, masking his growing annoyance with a polite smile. “Ah, I see,” he responded evenly, refusing to let Taehyung’s arrogance get under his skin. “I’m a dentist myself. It may not be as glamorous as your line of work, but it’s great I must say.”

As they discussed their respective professions, Jin couldn’t help but notice the way Taehyung spoke about his life with a hint of condescension, as if he were talking to a lowborn rather than an accomplished professional. Taehyung’s tone was laced with a thinly veiled superiority, his demeanor exuding an air of so-called refinement and sophistication.

Jin resisted the urge to roll his eyes, choosing instead to maintain a composed facade.

Despite Taehyung’s attempts to assert his dominance, Jin remained unfazed, silently vowing to keep a close eye on the developer in the following hours. After all, beneath Taehyung’s front of sophistication lay a man who showed a hint of nervousness in his demeanor.

Throughout the day, Taehyung remained somewhat reserved, his responses measured and cautious compared to the outgoing self you’ve seen on your dates. After all your best efforts to include him in the lively banter and inside jokes, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was holding back, as if unsure of how to navigate the energy coming from your friends.

After the baseball game came to an end, you and your friends decided to grab something at the burger joint owned by one of your close friends. The cozy restaurant provided the perfect spot for more conversation, the main reason being to get to know your new lover boy, yet Taehyung seemed to cast a tiny speckle over the gathering. It seemed as if he shrank himself around your friends.

As you settled into a booth with your friends, Taehyung’s presence became increasingly subdued, his responses to the group’s banter growing more hesitant with each passing moment. Despite your attempts to include him, he seemed somewhat detached.

The conversation with you and your friends quickly turned to gossip about one of your former friends. Sam’s incredulous expression mirrored the disbelief in her voice as she exclaimed, “Can you believe she actually did that?”

Gemma, shaking her head in amusement, added, “I mean, who literally never returns borrowed clothes? She got herself an outfit, thanks to the three of us. Shoes from Sam, a jacket from you, and a dress from me.”

Amidst the shared laughter, Taehyung appeared to be struggling to find his footing. His usual confidence seemed to falter in the face of your friends’ dynamic energy, leaving him somewhat quiet.

Jin, ever the observer, chimed in with a wry grin, “Sounds like she’s always been a handful.”

You shot Jin a playful response, adding, “Oh, you have no idea.”

As the conversation flowed around, Taehyung remained quiet, his gaze flickering between your friends. Sensing his discomfort, you nudged him playfully and teased, “What do you think? Ever had a friend or an ex like that?”

Taehyung managed a hesitant smile, his eyes darting away briefly before returning to meet yours. “Uh, no, nothing too crazy,” he replied with a soft laugh. With this, Taehyung seemed to relax into the group dynamic, his laughter mingling with yours as he shared in the lighthearted jokes that came before his response.

As Gemma joined in on the conversation, you made a point to include Taehyung, gesturing for him to join in on the gossip with a playful smile. Taehyung’s hand found its way to your knee, his touch sending a shiver to you. Despite his reserved demeanor, you couldn’t deny the warmth of his presence beside you, grateful for the effort your friends were making to make him feel welcome.

After lunch, you and Taehyung walked hand in hand down the bustling streets, your friends walking ahead of you, the warmth of the sun casting a golden glow over the city.

As you strolled along, you couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that had settled in the pit of your stomach. Taehyung’s reserved behavior during lunch left you unsettled, his usual charm overshadowed by a newfound hesitance that seemed out of character.

“Hey,” you began tentatively, breaking the silence that had settled between you, “Are you okay?”

Taehyung glanced at you, his expression unreadable. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he replied with a forced smile, though his eyes betrayed a hint of uncertainty.

You tightened your grip on his hand, a surge of concern flooding through you. “You seemed a bit quiet back there,” you pressed gently, grabbing his face in your hand, searching for any sign of what was bothering him.

Taehyung hesitated, his gaze flickering away before returning to meet yours. “I guess I just felt a bit out of place,” he admitted finally, his voice tinged with vulnerability. “Your friends... they’re absolutely great, really, I can see why you love them, but I can’t help but feel like I don’t quite fit in.”

Your heart twinged with sympathy at his words, a pang of guilt washing over you as you realized the extent of his discomfort. “I’m sorry,” Taehyung murmured, squeezing your hand reassuringly. “I should have made more of an effort.”

You shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips. “God, don’t say that you’re sorry, this is just you meeting new people,” you assured him, your tone softening. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

After lunch, you and Taehyung decided to head to a nearby bar that had a couple of pool tables. Gemma, Sam, and Jin eagerly joined, excited for more fun and conversation.

As you entered the bar, the sound of pool balls clacking against each other filled the air, adding to the ambiance of the place. Gemma let out a whoop of excitement, already eyeing the pool tables with enthusiasm.

"I call the first game!" Gemma exclaimed, practically bouncing with energy as she made her way to the nearest table.

Sam followed close behind, a mischievous grin on her face. "Oh, it's on," she declared, rolling up her sleeves in anticipation.

Jin chuckled at the friendly competitiveness between Gemma and Sam, a smirk playing on his lips as he predicted an intense match between the two. Taehyung stood by your side, watching the scene unfold with a small smile tugging at his lips.

As Gemma lined up her shot, her competitive streak shining through in every movement, you turned to Taehyung and suggested, "How about we team up for a game? Show them what we're made of."

Taehyung's eyes lit up at the challenge, his reserved demeanor from earlier fading away as he nodded enthusiastically. "Sounds like a plan," he replied, a hint of excitement creeping into his voice.

You and Taehyung stepped up to the pool table, cue sticks in hand, ready to take on Gemma and Sam. The game quickly turned into a lively competition, filled with laughter, banter, and friendly teasing.

With each shot, Taehyung's confidence grew, his skills matching yours as the two of you worked together seamlessly, sinking ball after ball with precision. Your friends watched in amazement as the game progressed, their cheers and applause messing with the atmosphere of the bar.

As the match drew to a close, it became evident that you and Taehyung were on the brink of victory. With one final shot, Taehyung skillfully pocketed the eight ball, sealing your win with a triumphant grin.

Gemma and Sam applauded good-naturedly, conceding defeat with playful pouts before breaking into laughter. Jin clapped Taehyung on the back, a proud smile on his face as he praised, "Impressive, you two."

As the evening wore on and the conversation flowed freely, you found yourself deep in discussion with Gemma about your upcoming trip to a music festival. Excitement bubbled within you as you animatedly talked about the lineup, the accommodations you wanted to book, and the outfits you were planning to wear. Gemma mirrored your enthusiasm, her eyes sparkling with anticipation as she listened to your plans unfold.

"So, we'll catch the midnight flight on Thursday, right?" Gemma asked, leaning in closer as she eagerly awaited your response.

"Definitely," you replied with a nod, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "We'll have plenty of time to check into the hotel and grab some lunch before the festival kicks off."

As you continued to discuss the details of your trip, Taehyung interjected, his voice cutting through the conversation with unexpected confidence. "Oh my god you’re going to that?" he remarked, his eyes alight with excitement. "Mind if I tag along? I’ve been meaning to go for years too!"

You blinked in surprise, caught off guard by Taehyung's sudden invitation.

You exchanged a look with Gemma, both of you unsure of how to respond to Taehyung's unexpected request. Before you could say anything, Taehyung continued, his enthusiasm growing by the second.

"And hey, since we'll already be there, why don't you stay a few extra days with me?" he suggested, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "We could go and meet my dad, make a mini vacation out of it."

Your heart skipped a beat at Taehyung's proposal, but not in a good way. A mini vacation? Meeting his dad? It all felt too serious and overwhelming for someone who had only been dating him for a few weeks.

Your head spun with the rapid-fire pace of his suggestions, struggling to keep up with the whirlwind of activity unfolding before you. You hadn't even had a chance to process his self-invitation, let alone make any concrete plans.

Before you could gather your thoughts, Taehyung was already pulling out his phone, his fingers flying over the screen as he hastily began to make plans. You exchanged a bewildered look with Gemma, silently wondering if you were the only one feeling overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events.

Feeling the weight of Taehyung's expectations bearing down on you, you struggled to find the words to respond. "I... um... I'll have to think about it," you finally managed to stammer out, hoping to buy yourself some time to process everything that had just been thrown your way.

Gemma shot you a sympathetic look, clearly sensing your discomfort. "Yeah, you definitely need to discuss it further," she added, coming to your rescue.

This was all moving so fast, and you couldn't shake the feeling that Taehyung was rushing into things without considering your thoughts or feelings.

His sudden eagerness to insert himself into your future plans, coupled with his brash confidence and seemingly disregard for your input, left you questioning whether you truly knew him as well as you thought. Beneath his charming exterior lay a man with a penchant for taking control, his assertiveness bordering on arrogance at times. While you had been drawn to his personality initially, you now found yourself wondering if there was more to Taehyung than met the eye.

Was this eagerness to dive headfirst into your relationship a sign of genuine affection, or simply a desire to assert dominance and control over your life?

The rapid pace at which Taehyung seemed to be moving the relationship forward, coupled with his insistence on intertwining your lives so quickly, raised red flags in your mind. Was this level of devotion genuine, or a form of love-bombing designed to sweep you off your feet and secure your affections? As you grapple with these conflicting thoughts and emotions, you can't help but wonder if Taehyung's was just too good to be true.

As the chatter and clinking of glasses continued, you pushed back from the table. Your heart raced and your palms were slick with sweat as you mumbled an excuse about needing to use the restroom. The chatter of voices faded into the background as you stepped away, leaving behind the warmth and comfort of your friends' presence.

Standing in front of the mirror in the quiet restroom, you took a deep breath and studied your reflection. The familiar swirl of conflicting emotions stirred within you, but one thing remained certain: your gut feeling was unwavering. With a silent vow to trust yourself and your past experiences, you straightened your shoulders and rejoined everyone at the table.

Later in your room, as the golden hues of the Sunday afternoon bathed the world outside, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that had settled deep within your soul. The warmth of the weekend's fleeting moments lingered like a bittersweet memory, leaving a faint trace of longing in its wake. Despite the laughter shared, the smiles exchanged, and the tender moments cherished, there was an underlying sense of discontent that gnawed at the edges of your consciousness.

With each passing hour, the realization dawned upon you like a slow-moving shadow creeping across the room. Something had shifted within you, an intangible yet undeniable shift in your emotions.

In the quiet solitude of your thoughts, you found yourself yearning for a reprieve, a moment of respite from the whirlwind of emotions that threatened to engulf you whole. What began as a simple desire for solitude soon evolved into a desperate need to distance yourself, to create a barrier between yourself and the overwhelming intensity of the feelings that had taken root within your heart.

After that weekend, something stirred inside you. The initial excitement and anticipation you had felt with Taehyung seemed to fade. What once felt thrilling now seemed overwhelming, almost suffocating. You tried to shake it off, thinking perhaps you just needed some time to yourself. But as the days went by, your desire for space only grew. You found yourself reluctant to make plans, even hesitant to text back as usual.

You were so sure you could fall in love, but the intensity of Taehyung's affection was too much. His constant need for connection, his declarations of love, and the speed at which he wanted to move forward felt like a tidal wave. You weren't used to that level of intensity. It left you feeling like the biggest red flag in the story.

Questions swirled in your mind, eating away at your confidence.

"This guy is falling so hard for you, why are you backing out?"

"Are you really that messed up if you’re not able to handle someone loving you?"

Each question felt like a jab, poking at your insecurities. You wondered if you were sabotaging something beautiful or if your instincts were warning you of a deeper issue.

You kept talking to Taehyung in the following days, but your heart wasn't in it. You could sense his growing suspicion, his worry evident in the way he asked if you were okay, if you had time to see each other. The guilt gnawed at you, especially when you heard the genuine concern in his voice. It made you question everything. Was it you? Was it him? Were you really not ready, or were you just afraid?

Deep down, you didn't trust that someone could fall in love like this in just three weeks. It felt too rushed, too intense. And even if it was true, it wasn't the kind of relationship you wanted. You didn't want to be detached. You wanted to be invested in the next person you fell in love with. You didn't want to feel annoyed or reply just because you had to. You knew you still had a long way to go, a lot of work to do on your feelings and how you dealt with relationships. You hated when they made you feel like you were the one in the wrong. Why would you be wrong to feel how you feel?

Perhaps you weren't ready for the kind of love he offered. The intensity of his feelings left you feeling exposed, and vulnerable in a way you had never experienced before.

The lines between love and self-preservation blurred until they became indistinguishable from one another. You questioned your own worth, and your own capacity for love, as doubts and insecurities gnawed at the edges of your consciousness.

In the days that followed, you found yourself locked in a silent struggle, torn between the conflicting desires of your heart and mind but despite the lingering doubts that gnawed at your conscience, you continued to engage with Taehyung, exchanging messages and sharing snippets of your day.

Yet with each passing interaction, a sense of reluctance began to take root within you, a hesitancy to commit to plans for the following week that lingered on the tip of your tongue. You were still battling with yourself, wrestling with the internal turmoil that threatened to consume you whole.

As the days stretched on, the weight of your indecision grew heavier, casting a shadow over the once-bright promise of love and romance. You found yourself caught in a constant tug-of-war between your head and your heart, each vying for dominance over the other in a battle for control.

And so you continued to navigate the fickle direction of your relationship with Taehyung. But deep down, a part of you couldn't help but wonder—was this truly what you wanted for yourself, or were you merely settling to prove to yourself, and perhaps to others, that Yoongi was no longer someone important in your life?

Taehyung had seemed like the beacon of light guiding you out of the darkness of heartbreak. You had convinced yourself that he was all you wanted, perhaps even desperately so, in your eager pursuit to move on from someone who had given you nothing. Every smile, every touch, every whispered promise felt like a lifeline, pulling you away from the memories of a love that had left you in pieces.

Still, how could you not feel insecure and fearful when someone professed such intense love after only a few weeks? It seemed too good to be true, too rushed, too perfect. It left you questioning the authenticity of his feelings, wondering if his declarations were genuine or merely a means to an end. Could someone truly fall so deeply in love with you in such a short time, or was it all just a facade, a performance put on to win your heart?

Fake, rushed, and unsettling. Not exactly the words you’d describe love as.

After a long day of work, Taehyung could sense that something was amiss. Your texts had been shorter, less enthusiastic, and devoid of the usual playful banter that had become your norm. Concerned, he suggested meeting up or at least having a phone call to understand what was going on. When you agreed to the call, a knot of anxiety formed in your stomach.

As soon as you heard Taehyung's voice on the other end, a wave of guilt washed over you. His tone was gentle and filled with concern, making you rethink your distant behavior. Despite your intentions to keep your emotions in check, it had been extremely difficult to mask your feelings. Now, hearing him speak, you were more certain than ever that you needed to end this.

"Hey," Taehyung began softly, "I've been thinking a lot today, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something's bothering you. I wanted to talk because I care about you, and I hope we can figure this out together."

Taehyung's voice was warm and earnest, tugging at your heartstrings. His words made you rethink everything that had led up to this moment. He opened up about how much he enjoyed getting to know you – reminiscing about your dates, late-night conversations, the building of a 57-hour-long playlist together, and watching movies while on calls. He confessed that he had developed strong feelings for you and wanted to pursue a relationship.

"But listen, before anything, I just want you to know that I want to be with the person you are at this very moment," Taehyung spoke with sincerity. "I am trying my best to make you fall in love with me because I am genuinely attracted to who you are, your mind and heart are truly what I love. If you let me into your life, it will be reciprocated from my end as well. My intention is not to waste your time. It's such a pleasure to coexist with you, and this call is an opportunity for us to talk about what we have. So please, tell me how you feel."

As you listened to his heartfelt confession, a whirlwind of emotions stirred inside of you. His genuine affection contrasted sharply with your recent doubts and fears. Despite his earnestness and commitment, deep down you knew that you could not return those same feelings. The realization was bittersweet, but it brought clarity – you did not want to continue this relationship.

A lump formed in the back of your throat, threatening to choke you as his words sank in. The sincerity in his voice only made it harder to confront the reality of your feelings. With a shaky breath, you knew it was time to be honest.

"Taehyung," you began, your voice barely above a whisper. "I appreciate everything you've said. You've been more than amazing, a true breath of fresh air into my life. I never thought I could open up and tell someone so much about myself, but with you, it just felt right. Every date and call we've had has brought me so much joy and happiness. It's been so good spending time with you and doing our favorite things together."

You paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts before continuing. "But if I'm being completely honest, I don't think I'm ready for this. It's not that I don't care about you or have strong feelings for you...it's just that I still need time to figure things out. I need to focus on what I want before I can fully commit to someone as wonderful as you."

There was a heavy silence on the other end of the line as Taehyung absorbed your words. "I understand," he finally replied, his voice filled with emotion. "It's important for you to take the time you need. I don't want to pressure or rush you into anything."

You could feel the disappointment radiating from him through the phone, and it tugged at your heartstrings. "I hope we can still be friends, and who knows what will happen in the future? Maybe things will be different then." Taehyung's voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke again. "This doesn't mean we have to stop going out, right? I still have so many places I want to take you, concerts we have to go to."

A small smile graced your lips at his words. "Of course not," you replied.

After ending the call with Taehyung, a sense of relief washed over you, lifting the weight that had been pressing down on your shoulders. Contrary to what one might expect, you didn't feel bad about the conversation; instead, you felt a newfound sense of liberation.

In the quiet moments after the call, as you sat with your thoughts, the sense of relief grew stronger. You weren't heartless; you were just protecting yourself. It was okay to take a step back.

You thought that everything was on good terms despite the falling out. After the call, Taehyung continued to text you, making casual conversation about movies and sharing recommendations as if nothing had changed. It gave you a sense of relief, believing that maybe you could transition smoothly into a friendship.

But the next day, unexpectedly, things took a sharp turn. You were scrolling through your Instagram feed when you noticed something was missing—Taehyung's account. His profile, once filled with snapshots of his life and moments you had shared together, was now completely gone. Your heart dropped as you tried to shake off the unsettling feeling, assuring yourself that he must have needed a break from social media.

The next day, you found yourself at a quaint rooftop gathering with your old college friends. The clinking of glasses and bursts of laughter filled the air, creating a warm and nostalgic ambiance. You were surrounded by familiar faces and inside jokes, and for a moment everything felt light and carefree.

As the night went on and the drinks flowed freely, you couldn't help but loosen your tongue. With each sip, you recounted the recent events of your love life - the highs and lows, Taehyung's irresistible charm, and the sudden ending that left you reeling. As you spoke, a mix of relief washed over you.

At 2:13 am, as you were caught up in reminiscing with your friends, your phone buzzed. It was a message from Taehyung: "U up?" You stared at the screen in surprise, his casualness catching you off guard. Despite the lingering emotions stirred up by his message, you decided against replying and slipped your phone back into your pocket.

In the following days, Taehyung's attempts to reconnect with you grew more intense. He sent friendly texts inviting you out to places where you used to dance together, suggesting it’d be "just as friends." He mentioned how much he enjoyed going out with you and how he knew music was something you loved. Despite his seemingly earnest efforts, you couldn't shake off the feeling that something about his sudden friendliness felt forced and weird.

Then, things took an even stranger turn. One day, as you were scrolling through social media, you noticed that Taehyung had unfollowed both you and your friends. His posts had disappeared without a trace - either deleted or archived - and his profile picture was gone. Confused and slightly alarmed, you tried to check the Spotify playlist you had been making, only to find that he had blocked you there as well.

"What the hell?" you muttered to yourself, staring at your phone in disbelief. The sudden and drastic changes in Taehyung's behavior only confirmed the unease that had been building inside you. His actions were volatile and erratic, and it was becoming clear that he wasn't the person you once thought him to be.

A burst of laughter erupted from you, uncontrollable and genuine. "Can you believe it? He actually blocked me on Spotify," you chuckled, shaking your head in disbelief. It seemed so trivial in the grand scheme of things, but it was also oddly amusing. What could possibly have provoked him to take such a petty action against your Spotify profile? The thought made you grin even wider as you tried to stifle another fit of laughter.

"I don't know what's more surprising, the fact that he blocked you or that he thought blocking you on Spotify would bring about some profound impact," your friend Gemma chimed in, her face lighting up with amusement.

Indeed, it was a peculiar situation to be in. It felt like being placed in a dramatic film, with events unfolding in unexpectedly comedic ways. You quirked an eyebrow at Gemma's comment, leaning back against the couch and sighing.

"Well, whatever his intentions might have been," you mused aloud, "I think it just shows how petty he is."

Gemma chuckled quietly at your words, her eyes gleaming with laughter as she nodded in agreement. The two of you sat there in the soft glow of the room, laughing over the absurdity of the situation.

“Hey, I need to ask you something,” Gemma's unexpected comment caught you off guard. "Why do you always tell them you're not ready?" she asked, her tone curious yet probing.

The question hung in the air, lingering in the space between you. It felt like a curveball, striking at the heart of your insecurities and doubts. You had never stopped to ask yourself why you constantly used the same excuse, why you always pushed people away with the same refrain.

For a moment, you were speechless, caught in the whirlwind of your own thoughts. Why did you always say that? Was it the truth, or merely an excuse to avoid confronting your deeper fears and uncertainties?

As you grappled with these questions, a sense of unease settled over you. Perhaps there was more to your reluctance than you cared to admit, buried beneath layers of self-doubt and uncertainty. Was it possible that you were using the excuse of not being ready as a shield to protect yourself from the vulnerability of opening up to someone new?

You met Gemma's gaze and offered a tentative reply. "I guess... it's just easier to say that than to admit the truth," you admitted, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "Maybe I'm not ready, or maybe... maybe it's something else. Maybe it's fear, or self-doubt, or..."

Your voice trailed off as you struggled to put your thoughts into words. Silence filled the room as if waiting for you to grasp the elusive truth about yourself. Gemma's eyes were steady on yours, offering silent encouragement and understanding.

"Or maybe... it's because I don't trust myself anymore," you finally confessed, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. "I don't trust myself to be in a relationship without screwing it up or realize someone was lying to me again."

You still couldn't believe how you were able to sense bad things about everyone but could never do that with Yoongi. What was the deal with that?

Thinking back to Yoongi, you realized how different it was with him. With Yoongi, there was no rush, no overwhelming intensity. It was comfortable, like slipping into a well-worn sweater. You didn't have to second-guess his intentions or your feelings. It was simple, without the pressure of immediate declarations of love.

But with Taehyung, it felt like you were constantly on edge, trying to meet expectations you weren't even sure you could handle. His affection, while sincere, felt like a spotlight shining too brightly, exposing every crack and flaw in your emotional armor. And instead of feeling cherished, you felt scrutinized.

You could feel Gemma's gaze soften at your confession. Her quiet acceptance of your raw vulnerability was comforting in its own way. She reached out and squeezed your hand gently, a tacit acknowledgment of your bravery in admitting such long-buried fears.

"C'mon, love," she said gently, pulling you up from the couch, "let's get something sweet from the kitchen. You've earned it."

The rest of the night passed in a comfortable silence, punctuated only by occasional laughter and the comforting sounds of late-night baking. As you nibbled on warm chocolate chip cookies - Gemma's specialty - and sipped rich hot coffee, something within you began to shift.

For the first time in a long time, instead of feeling overwhelmed by your insecurities and fears, you felt an odd sense of peace. It was as if speaking those words out loud had lifted a weight off your shoulders - a revelation that maybe it was okay not to have everything figured out.

Looking at Gemma across the kitchen island, her face illuminated by the soft glow of the overhead light, you realize something else too. You weren't alone; there were people around you who cared about you and would stand by you through thick and thin.

You picked up your mug and raised it in a toast to her, a small smile playing on your lips. "To figuring things out," you stated valiantly. The clink of your mugs echoed in the silent kitchen as Gemma grinned back at you.

"Figuring things out," she echoed, her words lingering in the silence of the room. Amidst the lingering taste of cookies and coffee, amidst all the uncertainty and self-doubt, something warm began to bloom within your chest - a sense of hope, a fresh start.

With that night serving as a turning point, you found yourself learning to trust yourself again, inch by inch. You learned to let go of the past and look forward to a future where you could be happy with or without a relationship. And most importantly, you discovered that sometimes opening up about your fears was not a sign of weakness, but rather an act of courage and growth.

After all, there was truth in what Gemma had said - everyone was just figuring things out, one step at a time.

Life went on and so did you. The days turned into weeks and before you knew it, a month had passed since your breakup with Taehyung. Taehyung's memory began to fade like a photograph left too long in the sun. You went about your life as usual - indulging in late-night movies with friends, exploring new music, finding joy in small things - all without the shadow of his presence looming over you.

Your life resumed its regular rhythm and things seemed normal again...as normal as they could be without someone.

You still missed him sometimes; when certain songs played on the street and when certain places reminded you of him – but as each day passed, these moments became fewer and further between.

One day while walking home from work, your phone buzzed in your pocket. A message from an unknown number was waiting for you, the words sending a chill down your spine.

"Hey... It's Yoongi. Can we talk?"

You froze in your tracks, staring at the screen with wide eyes. A million thoughts ran through your mind at once - why was he contacting you now? What did he want to talk about? And the most important question of them all: Were you actually going to respond?

As you stood there on the sidewalk, the world around you seemed to come to a halt. Your heart pounded in your chest as you weighed your options. Should you ignore the message and continue on your way? Or should you take a leap of faith and reply, opening up the possibility of having him in your life again?

The choice was yours and yours alone. Next thing you knew, he was calling you.

You stared at your phone, hesitating for a moment before answering. "Hello?" you said tentatively, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey," came his familiar voice, sending a wave of emotions crashing over you. "I'm sorry to bother you, I know this is probably the last thing you expected, but..." His voice trailed off as if searching for the right words.

"But what?" you asked, your curiosity getting the better of you.

He sighed heavily, the sound echoing through the phone. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

His admission caught you completely off guard, his raw sincerity hitting you straight in the gut.

You immediately closed your eyes forcefully and pinched the bridge of your nose.

It had been so long since you had heard his voice; it was a sound that evoked a whirlwind of conflicting feelings.

Anger, bitterness, and sadness fought against nostalgia and fond memories. You were reminded of the warmth of his embrace, the gentleness of his touch, the soothing cadence of his words.

A lump formed in your throat as you tried to swallow back the tears that threatened to spill over. Heaving a deep sigh, you braced yourself as you replied, "How have you been? It's been so long since we last spoke."

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line as if he was equally shocked by how different your voice sounded. When he finally responded, there was a smile in his voice. "I've been doing okay. Busy with work as usual, but it keeps me sane."

Why is it that you're always willing to let him into your life, without regard for what he represents to you? After all he's done in your relationship or the lack thereof? Why is it so difficult to let go of someone who doesn't care for you as you do him? Someone who is content with being friends with you, yet never tries to give you something more than that. It's so damn frustrating... And heartbreaking too, no less.

At that moment, the only emotion you felt was regret for not seeing the signs earlier when he had still cared enough to show he was serious. In an attempt to lighten the mood, you chuckled half-heartedly. "Yeah, I guess it would keep anyone sane," you teased lightly.

However, your effort at humor fell flat as he remained silent on the other end. Your breath caught in your throat, unsure what to make of his silence. Was it a sign of him wanting to continue or was he waiting for you to elaborate? You held your tongue, feeling lost and confused in this situation.

"I miss you," he murmured, his voice soft and filled with longing. The simple admission took your breath away.

"And how does your girlfriend feel about that?" you replied. At the mention of his current relationship status, you could practically hear the crickets chirping in the distance as an awkward silence settled between you.

A few moments passed before he hesitantly answered, "Actually..." His voice trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

"What happened? If I may ask," you probed gently.

"She left. Well, we ended things actually," he corrected himself.

"Oh..." Your response hung awkwardly in the air as neither one of you knew how to continue.

Finally, after a few painful seconds, you gathered your courage to ask the question that had been burning in your mind since you received his message: "Is that why you contacted me?"

His hesitation was palpable, the weight of your question pressing down on him. Taking a deep breath, he finally responded.

"Yes...and no. I didn't want to bother you and hoped you wouldn't find out from a mutual friend. So, I decided to call..." He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts before continuing. "Our breakup did hit me hard, not like now. I realized how much I really care about you. Not just as a friend but more than anything else."

This revelation sent your mind reeling as your heart clenched painfully. What did it mean? What should you say next? As you struggled to respond, he continued speaking.

"But now that we're both single, I don't know if that's something you'd like." The vulnerability in his tone stirred up a torrent of emotions within you, leaving you speechless for the second time.

"We've been through so much already, and honestly, I'm terrified. I don't want to hurt you again," he confessed softly.

His words echoed in the vastness of your mind. You were afraid of getting close to him only to get burned once more - but there was also part of you that yearned for him with all of your being.

"Listen Yoongi, I..., I don't know if I can call it a breakup but the last person I was with, made me realize something else..." You hesitated a bit and swallowed your tears back; they seemed so foreign.

Your head ached while listening to his silence. He had always been able to read your face better than anyone ever could. The same look he carried whenever he was about to say the wrong thing was clear. He wasn't saying anything, probably not even knowing what to tell you at this point.

And you couldn't blame him when you didn't know either, "What do you mean?" he finally asked in a low murmur.

"I don't have in me the capability to trust anymore." You whispered. "You and I tried so hard and things always go wrong, always fail miserably." Your throat constricted tightly around your words making them sound harsh in contrast. "At one point in our life, we weren't capable of sharing love. It was so frustrating because I thought I'd be fine as friends yet everything fell apart."

The words escaped your lips without any filter whatsoever. Maybe the fact that you were venting in a place where he couldn't see you was what fueled your honesty. "Every time I try, it doesn't work out and it keeps hurting both of us."

"It's not because of you though...It's..." You inhaled sharply as you continued. "I feel like I'll always find myself going back to wanting you when it's unhealthy. I keep thinking if I let you back into my life, will I end up breaking my heart again?"

As you shared your innermost thoughts, he stayed silent for a few moments longer before quietly replying, "Is that the reason why you've been avoiding me?" His voice sounded shaky with emotion as if struggling against his own demons too.

"It is and maybe that makes me selfish," you muttered guiltily. "How I feel about you, how much I care about you despite all our mistakes, sometimes hurts when I can't act on those feelings. Or when things get serious between us; it scares me out of my mind."

Yoongi exhaled shakily on the other line as well. When he spoke, his voice wavered.

"You have every right to be afraid of being hurt again and it pains me to see you in so much agony because of me. I never knew I could feel so strongly about someone who wasn't my blood-related family or some kind of soulmate but there's something about you that draws me in. I've had my fair share of experiences with women throughout the years but nothing compares to how happy you make me feel when we spend time together and talk for hours on end."

When you heard those words coming out of his mouth, something inside of you broke wide open. His confession struck deep within your core and touched upon every single insecurity and fear you possessed. How could someone love someone like you? After all the times they failed each other, after all the mistakes and broken promises that ended their relationship?

You asked softly, "If that's really what you think about me, why did it take so long for us to get here then?" Your question was laced with sorrow but curiosity too; what changed from before to now that made him contact you and finally acknowledge his feelings towards you?

He paused for a moment. When he continued, his tone was earnest and sincere. "I wasn't sure that this time would be different. In the past, there were moments when I almost reached out but I'd get scared and hold back." A self-deprecating laugh escaped his lips. "Then I realized that life isn't perfect or even stable either, and I decided to pursue what matters most in my life, you."

His answer stunned you speechless; you hadn't expected such conviction from him when earlier, he seemed unsure himself. As you tried to comprehend the complexity of his emotions, the weight of the situation began to settle in.

You choked up and dissociated there for a while until he interrupted you with a soft murmur of your name. That snapped you back into reality as tears pricked your eyes again. "Do you think I'm stupid for believing in you even though you keep screwing things up?" you whispered, feeling ashamed and embarrassed by your vulnerability.

There was another pause before Yoongi spoke once more, his voice gentle and filled with compassion. "No. Because I'd trust you over anyone else in the world." He sighed deeply. "Maybe this is wrong but we're adults in a mature relationship already anyways...so I guess it makes sense to take a chance and try to fix things."

"But that means giving yourself one hundred percent and not holding anything back." He paused briefly before continuing hesitantly. "What do you want from us right now?" His voice sounded uncertain like he wasn't sure of the answer himself.

That is when it hit you: everything you ever wanted was standing in front of you, asking you the same question. "I want to be selfish right now," you muttered breathlessly.

"Then I will give it all to you if it means being with you and seeing you happy. Whatever it takes," he answered softly yet decisively. It was clear that this meant more than anything else in this world; after all, nothing mattered as much anymore.

This time, his sincerity made you smile genuinely, breaking through the sadness that had overtaken you before. "How come you always say the best things when I'm already crying?" you sniffled.

"Because I'm terrible at consoling others but somehow managed to learn how to make you smile once in a blue moon." As soon as you heard those words escape his lips, something inside your heart melted instantly. Even on the phone, his presence was able to calm your storming mind down. The things he said and did always meant so much more than what anyone else had ever done for you.

You knew now that it didn't matter what happened between you two in the past because he was here right now wanting you, trying to build a future with you together. "When can I see you again?" he asked gently, sounding hopeful despite being cautious himself. "If that's okay..."

“It’s fine. But I have to warn you, this is going to be a long conversation and I might cry. A lot.” You told him in fake seriousness.

“Well, that would be the first time, I’ve never seen you cry in all the years I’ve known you.” He chuckled. “At first I thought you were a robot.”

“I am.”

“And then I learned you were a softie.” He continued.

“I’m not.”

“Oh, I think you are.”

“I’m definitely not a softie.”

“You are. And I love it.”

You smiled because you could hear the genuine smile in his voice.

“Tomorrow then?”

“Yeah, tomorrow.”

“Okay then.” You ended the call after hearing his quiet sigh, feeling a sense of comfort and anticipation. As you walked the last few meters to your place, the familiar sight of home greeted you, bathed in the golden light of the setting sun. You got home a little before sunset, feeling a mix of hope and excitement about seeing Yoongi tomorrow.

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts angst #bts au #bts members #bts x reader #bts yoongi #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you #min yoongi x y/n #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x you #kim taehyung x y/n #bts taegi

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theharrowing · 10 months

Text

White Lies 🤍 1: Do not, under any circumstances, become emotionally attached to either of these men

Yoongi is everything you could ask for. He is attractive, confident, and smart. And his partner Taehyung is as possessive as he is beautiful. Too bad a relationship would be a major conflict of interest.

You need to have them, at all costs.

🤍 Yoongi x Female Reader x Taehyung

🤍 word count: 2.9k + screencaps of conversations

🤍 college au, cop au, partial social media au with a lot of written story, strangers to lovers & established relationship, yandere, hurt/comfort, smut, fluff, angst, slash, poly, minor character injury & death, graphic violence, nsfw, 21+.

🤍 warnings: no real warnings. we get some pretty forward flirting out of the gate. it might seem like things are already moving very fast, but...we'll see.

🤍 note: ughhhhhhhhhhhh i was going to hold off on actually starting this fic, but the brainrot was real yesterday, and i spent hours on my couch nursing a hangover and making screencaps. i forgot how tedious this is, but i also had a lot of fun. the character Josie is a real person who i adore very much! everyone say hi to Josie!!! this chapter is exposition heavy but i hope you find it fun!

🤍 this is a sequel to Boy Blue! i highly recommend that you start at the beginning

🤍 written parts beta read by @neoneunnajimin

🤍 posted nov. 2023 | read on ao3

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Reading through the file that Detective Kim left on your desk, two interesting things pop out at you, the first being that some of the photos of the man called Vante look different than the others. You didn't notice it at first, but upon closer inspection, you realize that photos of him that seem older – ones where he has natural dark brown hair and ones where he has bright red hair – seem personal.

Vante is smiling directly into the camera in these old photos, with an expression that you would describe as being soft – almost loving. His posture is relaxed in each photo, whether sitting at a table at a café or leaning against the side of a car. You wonder if Seokjin took these photos, and if not, how he managed to get his hands on them, because the photos of Vante with blue and blond hair are all surveillance images or those taken from social media profiles that have since been deleted.

The second detail you notice is that in two of the shots where Vante has blue hair, there is a woman with him who shares striking similarities with you. Although you are unable to clearly see her face in the photos, her hair, build, and height all seem to resemble you, and your side profiles are similar to the extent that you wonder if you could convince someone that you are the one pictured with him.

In one of the images containing your doppelgänger, Vante's arm is slung over her shoulder and he is speaking with Min. The three of them are in a crowded bar with what looks like colorful makeup all over their faces, and although you can only see Vante's expression clearly, it seems he is flirting with Min, or at least openly showing an attraction to him.

This detail, paired with Seokjin's not-so-subtle suggestion that you may consider becoming closer than just friends with Min makes you wonder if the two men are an open couple. Especially considering your resemblance to the woman in the photos, you wonder if you were chosen for this mission based on credentials alone, or if your resemblance to someone from their past was partly to blame for your sudden promotion into the Special Investigations Division.

Perhaps it should bother you that you may have advanced partly based on your looks, but this mission is so intriguing that it fills you with excitement to learn more. You wonder if the two of them got married out of love or convenience – a ploy to allow Min to get a work visa and any other benefits that could allow them to more easily escape from whatever they seem to be running from.

Both men are absolutely stunning, and you wonder if that woman pictured ever got to enjoy both of them – together or separately. You wonder what it must have been like for her and where she might be right now. Despite Seokjin's warning not to get close to these two, the urge to know more grows.

How could these two men be so dangerous? What have they done to cause Seokjin to form a super secret, super tight task force to hunt them down? And why is he unwilling to just tail Min and confront Vante, himself?

Quickly, you fire off an email to Min, asking about his tutoring services, posing as a student named Sandra. Then you return to rereading their files and memorizing their faces. Min with his somewhat sleepy, somewhat grumpy expressions that brighten into something soft and inviting when he smiles. Vante with his rectangular smile and piercing eyes that either hide all emotion or express so much that he appears positively captivating.

You read and reread the bullet point list describing these men in an attempt to piece together what kind of people they must present themselves as. You wonder who assisted with creating their profiles, and whether it may have been old friends or even the woman who resembles you.

Both men are dishonest and extremely disloyal; both exhibit an unshakable poker face that even those close to them cannot read.

[Redacted][Code name Min] is soft-spoken and an interesting mix of contemplative and impulsive; does not take no for an answer. [Redacted][Code name Vante] exhibits similar traits but is much more forward and promiscuous, willing to use sex as a weapon.

Both men get what they want with little to no concern for the outcome, even if it means the death or displacement of others.

Both men only seem loyal to one another, but that may also be a façade. [Redacted][Code name Vante] may be the more volatile of the two, should one turn on the other, but it is likely that [Redacted][Code name Min] has a mean streak that few have witnessed firsthand.

[Redacted][Code name Vante] is cold and calculating; always ten steps ahead.

[Redacted][Code name Vante]'s family is well-connected and seem willing to cover up anything he does.

Is it likely that [Redacted][Code name Vante] is the mastermind of all of their schemes and that [Redacted][Code name Min] tags along for one reason or another.

It is possible that [Redacted][Code name Min] has insecurities that [Redacted][Code name Vante] easily controls and manipulates.

Your phone lights up with a notification, pulling you from the paperwork and surprising you with how quickly Min has gotten back to you about tutoring services. And as you open the notification, you realize your seemingly easy mission might just be a little more complicated than you hoped.

Undeterred, you begin to improvise. If Vante uses sex as a weapon, perhaps you can create several Tinder and Hinge accounts and attempt to find him online. One benefit to going undercover is having access to a seemingly endless supply of burner phones.

You have absolutely no doubt that someone like Vante is using hookup apps if his profile depicts him accurately. If he and Min are married for love over convenience, there is a strong chance that he is still willing to be unfaithful. Or, perhaps the two of them are not monogamous, and finding one of them on a hookup app will likely be due to one or both of them looking for a good time.

The prospect of getting to know them this way is risky since they are both gorgeous and apparently too cunning to resist, but it may be faster than waiting a month or more for Min's private lessons to open.

Swiping on dating apps is tedious work, and you almost feel guilty for spending your precious hours this way. Despite it being the weekend, you are paid for your time, and right now your time is spent scouring dating profiles looking for one man.

You swipe with one hand and brush your teeth with the other, eyes barely open and still heavy with sleep. You swipe as soon as you step on line for your favorite macchiato at your favorite little café two blocks from your Chelsea apartment, and you swipe as you sit in your favorite window seat, sipping on the perfectly bittersweet warm drink while the morning sun warms your cheeks.

As you reread the file on Min and Vante over lunch, you take breaks to swipe, and you even find yourself genuinely reading through some Tinder profiles before snapping out of it and ridding yourself of distraction. Sure, you may be single and somewhat curious to mingle, but something tells you that you are going to have your hands absolutely full once you manage to get ahold of one of these men, so adding another person to the equation feels too messy.

Later on, when your best friend Josie convinces you to leave the house because it is Saturday and you need to, as she says, "Unwind and find some cuties to dick you down," you swipe in the cab ride over and resist the urge to swipe while waiting on line for drinks at the bar.

Part of you wonders whether you could run into Min at a place like this. Bright neon lights filling the space with college students scantily clad and alcohol buzzing through them, turning them into horny little monsters. If he is professional – or upholding a façade of professionalism for the sake of his current persona – then it is likely he would not be caught dead in a place like this. You are somewhat certain that Vante likely scours these types of clubs, but alas, he is in Milan.

Some of the photos of Min from their file show him on stage with a band, playing keyboard with a guitar slung over his shoulder, with a face full of glitter and makeup. The vibe of that bar differs from this one, but the rambunctious energy is more similar to what you observe in recent surveillance footage photos. You wonder if any part of that man bleeds through now, or if he only indulges in classically accepted forms of music as a tutor.

Min must be good with his hands – a thought that spirals the more your mind is allowed to wander back to the photos of him playing two very different instruments at once. You need to stop thinking about the beautiful, dangerous men – monsters, as Seokjin put it – and focus on being out with your best friend.

Josie is a bubbly ray of sunlight with a matching warm smile. Purple braids cascade over her shoulders and down her back, she wears a cute little black dress that barely contains her curves, and she stomps and dances excitedly in knee-high black leather boots. Her round cheeks and button nose make Josie the cutest person in all of Manhattan, and pretty shimmery pink and purple makeup stands out against her tan skin, making her dark brown eyes shine.

You are outfitted similarly with a tight black tee tucked into a black denim skirt, cleavage on full display. You wear black combat boots with warm, fuzzy black socks, and enough makeup to make your eyes pop, including a light dusting of pink and purple courtesy of Josie.

"I'm getting fucked!" Josie shouts over the reggaetón track, bouncing her hips to the beat while the two of you lean against the wooden bar top. Her voice is rich and somewhat nasally as she shouts, with a quick lilt to her accent.

"Fucked up?" you shout back, unsure whether you misheard your friend, delighted when her smile widens and she says, "Yeah, that too!"

Being that this is a college bar that happens to throw somewhat over the top ladies night events, you flash your student ID as well as the fake ID that identifies you as a woman named Sandra as soon as the bartender comes by.

You need not do so, however, because the bartender, whose name is Daniel in some circles and Changkyun in others, recognizes you, giving you a slow, hungry once-over with his eyes that makes your heart pound. Then he flashes a pointed smile and leans against the bar top so that he can easily be heard when his soft, deep voice asks, "Ladies, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Before you can open your mouth, Josie leans over the bar and shouts, "Two Long Islands!"

As soon as Daniel nods and turns away to get started on your drinks, Josie hip-checks you, causing you to stumble and turn to her with a wide, curious expression. You know what she is going to say before she even says it – "You need to hook up with him!" – and you are already shaking your head before the words come out.

"He's just doing his job," you argue, because this is not the first time Josie has pointed out the way he looks at you, or how he seems more attentive to you than to literally any other patron. Yes, you are in denial, but now is not the time to get tangled up with the sexy bartender.

"You're full of shit!" Josie manages to shout before Daniel is back.

He sets your drinks down, nodding politely to Josie before fixing you with an intent gaze and giving a shy little smile. "This round is on the house," he says so softly that you don't really hear it, only knowing the words because you have memorized the shape of his lips when he says them.

Daniel has a bit of a baby face, with wide, dark almond eyes and pretty, soft lips. His nose and cheekbones are all hard angles, however, and his short dark hair, which is parted down the middle, falls around his eyes and down to the apples of his cheeks, only accentuating his features more. Much like your targets, he has dual citizenship between the US and Korea, hence having two names that he goes by – something some but not all dual citizens might do.

"Thanks, Danny," you say with a wink, making Daniel's eyes widen before he stands up straight.

"My pleasure, ladies," he responds, looking to Josie and then back at you. The moment he is out of earshot, Josie groans.

"Why don't you make a move on him?" you ask before she has a chance to hound you more. You lift your drink and take the thin black straw between your teeth, chewing lightly on it as you walk away from the bar, through the growing crowd, toward the dancefloor.

"Don't be stupid!" Josie finally responds when you find a place on the outer edge of the dancing mass of bodies. "He looks at you like he wants to eat you. Just let him!"

You roll your eyes and shake your head, chuckling. Around you, college students dance and shout, clearly far too drunk already for how early it is. As you take your first sip of your drink, it rocks through you; even the smallest taste of the Long Island iced tea is strong as hell, making you wince despite its sweetness.

"I don't miss being that young and irresponsible," Josie says, leaning over a tall round table that you have found to perch your elbows against, gazing out at the mass of students.

Josie works in the Forensic Investigation Division. Whenever a crime scene is processed and evidence is gathered, she is the one testing it to match it to information in the various systems in search for DNA, blood type, fingerprints, fibers, and so on. Her work is used in court to solve and defend cases. "It is absolutely bonkers being back in college," you respond, withholding the detail that you are not really a student because Josie is aware of the very basics of your assignment. "Their problems seem so silly compared to the shit we see at work."

Josie nods listlessly as she scans the throng of dancing bodies, more or less distracted from the conversation. And as you follow her gaze, you see who she has zeroed in on.

There is a man on the dancefloor surrounded by a group of friends, and he looks a lot like your superior Seokjin. He is not your superior, of course, but the resemblance is certainly enough to catch your friend's attention, as her crush on your boss is nothing short of sickening.

"Shit," you shout over the raucous music, leaning toward Josie. "I forgot to feed the anaconda before I left."

Josie nods her head in slow, lackadaisical movements, and you shake your head; even complete nonsense won't get her attention when she is this focused, but you continue for fun, anyway.

"There goes all the neighborhood pets! His appetite is insatiable."

A pause follows before Josie, who turns her face toward you but keeps her eyes on the Seokjin lookalike, mutters, "Totally," drawing the word out nice and slow.

Ordinarily, you would lay into your friend a little harder, making your story a little more fantastical, but you take the opportunity to pull out your phone and continue on your mission. Vante is not going to swipe on himself, and now that you have paid for Tinder gold and can see everyone who has swiped right on you, you are certain that your search is only going to get easier.

* * *

It takes around thirty-two hours of frequent swiping with three burner phones all showcasing similar profiles with a similar name to find a man who looks like Vante. And, as Seokjin predicted, he goes by the name V.

It takes four more hours for him to message you. The entire time your hand itches toward your phone, eager to make the first move, but you want to see the way he operates, and you want him to think he has full control.

Just as Seokjin predicted, he is 4,000 miles away – which tracks because he is in Milan until the end of the week – and he is using photos that only show part of his face. Luckily, his mouth is distinguishable.

For your part, on one of the profiles you created, you chose photos that you think resemble the girl in the photos in Vante and Min's case file, also only showing parts of your face. And you are not at all surprised when that particular profile is the one he seems drawn to. It makes you wonder if he saw any of the other profiles that you created or not.

You stare at the screen uncertain whether your flirting is all just part of the plan or if you really would like to find out just how well Vante lives up to his promises of not squandering an opportunity for pleasure. He is extremely forward and, to your surprise, it gives you butterflies.

Ordinarily, men speaking this way moments after you first meet would be a red flag, but for some reason, the assignment of getting close to Vante adds to the intrigue – daresay it excites you a little.

All of this feels dangerous. But you have never been one to turn down the chance to play with fire.

i fake my life like i've lived too much i take whatever you're giving - not enough overground, watch this space i'm open to falling from grace

🎵 visit the playlist!

note: i added this to the master list, but in case it has been missed i just want to add the disclaimer that all detective work and cop jargon in this fic is either made up on the spot or comes from years of watching/listening to true crime media. i have no credentials in this field and i do not claim to know what i am talking about!!! alsoooo lol if your name is Sandra, no it's not. (jkjk hello Sandra! i hope you're having a lovely day!!!)

also!!! some folks seemed confused by Seokjin, so just to clear his involvement up: yes, he was thought to be dead in Boy Blue.

i am thinking about doing little "drabble" chapters where you get to see conversations only between taegi that mc will not be aware of. we'll see how i end up doing it. (is this something you're into or would you prefer 100% of mc's pov like in Boy Blue?)

💙 me sprinkling in the Boy Blue callbacks:

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#yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #taegi x reader #bts poly #bts yandere #bts angst #bts smut #bts social media au #undescribed #undescribed images #fic: white lies

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