#but I just really love the idea of Sonic and Silver being good and supportive friends with each other?

[true-blue-sonic]

I feel as if the Espilver brainrot... is slowly shifting towards Sonic and Silver being friends brainrot🤔🤔

[fosermi]

what is it about the little hedgehog family that your drawing so much that you like?

hm I dont know really...

I guess it depends on which family you're referring to. if its the Whipples (Shadow Silver and Eclipse Whipple), then its because they have an actual functioning and realistic sibling dynamic going on. They also pretty much just have my hearts in their hands (paws?) by this point mostly because they're little kids being little kids with lots of good coping mechanisms. (including therapy!) but mostly i really love drawing their dynamics as good healthy brothers.

If you mean the sacrificed chaos family (shadow, silver, unit nine, sonic, and eclipse) then its because they're all dealing with the passage of time their own way, leaning on each other for support when needed even if some of them will never admit it. mostly, i like to draw them for angst potential.

but if its the gem twins family, well... lets just say gay hedgehogs really got the best of me and i just find them really adorable! plus the idea of sonic and shadow being parents is a very fun concept!

hopefully that answered your question :D

[turboacek-blog]

Sonic the Hedgehog Movie 3 idea:

Saw Sonic 2 the other day and really enjoyed it as it was funny, fun, and wholesome and made my Sonic fanboy in me smile

And without spoiling it too much and as this can be noticed from the trailer it had a good amount of Sonic 2, Sonic 3&Knuckles and Sonic Adventure 1 and made a movie out of it

So I was thinking of some ideas for what the next movie could cover using the games and characters as references like they did in this last movie

Spoilers if you haven’t seen it

Ok so Shadow was in the end credits implying he’ll be in the next one

And with the existence of G.U.N. we can have part of the Sonic Adventure 2 plot in Sonic 3

But I don’t think the whole movie will be just Sonic vs Shadow as I think they will want to add new characters that haven’t appeared yet, and since Shadow is more an anti hero now in media we would have to have another antagonist to give Shadow a semi knuckles moment

Plus Eggman has to have a part in it similar to how he did with Knuckles in Sonic 2

So here’s my basic idea

Rogue the Bat comes to Earth similar to Knuckles being a bounty hunter but she’s here to get the chaos emeralds

Along the way she frees Shadow ala Sonic Heroes

And maybe they have a Eggman prototype robot there that can essentially be Omega or not could just be Eggman teaming up with them again

Therefore the conflict at first is essentially Team Sonic vs Team Dark

But Eggman becomes the true big bad with his newest creation after seeing Sonic true power in Sonic 2 and probably some influence from Shadow creates Metal Sonic which is the Sonic CD part

And instead of it being Sonic but worse like in the games, he makes Sonic but better kinda like Mecha Sonic, so the group now has to defeat Metal Sonic

Oh and maybe for comedic relief and/or love interest and/or have a damsel in distress Amy Rose comes to earth similar reasons to Tails

That’s the basis of my idea, it starts Sonic vs Shadow but ends up with Sonic vs Metal Sonic

And you add characters like Shadow, Rogue, and Amy and maybe Omega to round out the main Sonic cast

Now the more outlandish idea that builds upon the basic idea

Metal Sonic essentially wins and maybe even kills a character like Tails or Thomas and Metal Sonic got too strong that they can’t beat it

Yeah on some Avengers endgame type loss

Then we introduce the time travel elements of Sonic CD and… Sonic 06

Silver could make the way for time travel to allow them to fix their mistake essentially being Future Trunks and Flash

And then we can get the Super Sonic, Silver and Shadow moment from Sonic 06 and/or the Super Sonic and Shadow from Sonic Adventure 2

They beat Metal Sonic, saved the day, etc

Shadow and Sonic are on better terms but not full out a hero like Sonic is

I added the 06 stuff as like it or not Silver is a pretty famous Sonic character and is probably the most known once you get past the Adventure era characters

Also why I added both Amy and Rogue

Like Cream, Vector and Big are more supporting cast to the random stuff that happens and Silver has become more main cast even when it doesn’t make sense lol

And I thought the time travel connection from CD and 06 was interesting as I think before the Shadow reveal I figured the movies would have followed the original games with the next one being CD focused but since we’re getting Sonic Adventure 2 stuff why not add 06 like how the added adventure 1 to this Sonic 2 & 3&K movie

But yeah if Sonic 1 was essentially Sonic 1 with Sonic Adventure (humans)

Sonic 2 was Sonic 2, Sonic 3&Knuckles and Sonic Adventure (G.U.N.) with Sonic Heroes

Sonic 3 to me could be Sonic Heroes, Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic CD, and Sonic 06, to round out the classic and adventure era of Sonic

[ashenpages]

Current Projects & Emoji Voting Key

Quick disclaimer: I’m a romance writer in all aspects of the term, so most of my works will contain mature content. Engage at your own risk, you know the rules, you’re responsible for curating your own experience of the internet, blah blah blah.

This post serves as a current mock up of fic ideas I’m either actively working on or considering working on next. You can drop me an ask about any of them, or just vote via the emoji combo I’ve assigned them.

Voting lets me know you’re excited about an idea and makes it more likely I’ll actually work on it. You can vote anytime, there’re no deadlines or winner announcements, just me gauging your interest by what I see in my ask box most often.

You can also ask me about the original stuff I’m working on currently. The current WIPs are Medusa centric and the emoji for them is: 🐍

Support my original work on Ko-fi and Patreon.

- Lupin: 🤑🤠💍  These are all oneshot ideas, between 5-15K each. If you want to vote for a specific idea, send me the emojis and the number of the idea.

Born from the idea that Goemon and Zenigata probably couldn’t be an item, my brain decided to come up with how I could write for them. Goemon’s teaching an ikebana class as part of his training, and Zenigata shows up as a student on forced recreational leave for his health from the ICPO. Zenigata wins the samurai’s heart through flowers. But what happens when Lupin and Jigen find out? (Only good sexy things, I promise. These beans are in a healthy polycule--be gay, do crimes) (WIP)

Jigen/Lupin, but it's Jigen deciding to seduce Lupin while wearing his own Lupin disguise. The thief is waaaaay too into it, and some artistry is taken with the sex so that they don't mess up the disguise too much during their encoutner.

Jigen/Zenigata/Lupin where Jigen has some fantasices about Zenigata, but is pretty sure they'll never happen. Tells Lupin about them. Suddenly the fantasies are coming true, in the middle of a heist, and Jigen doesn't what to do except get swept up in the moment and enjoy. Plot twist, it's Lupin dressed up as Zenigata granting all his gunman's dreams. Plot twist again, Zenigata catches them at it.

Zenigata/Lupin, where Lupin keeps doing good things in illegal ways and Pops has to find a way to punish him for it. Good thing for Pops Lupin's a masochist?

Trans!Lupin and Trans!Jigen premise: Jigen cares for Lupin after the master thief has top surgery, since Jigen has Been There and Done That. Caring, sweet, and a little sexy. Lupin is a much better patient than Jigen.

The one time Zenigata caught Lupin in an alley and kissed him and it was Jigen in disguise. Things get sexy anyway, and Zenigata has crushes on two thieves now. Lupin and Jigen "kidnap" him later for an evening of taking care of their inspector.

The background plot of Jigen's Gravestone where we see Jigen think he's done for and try to leave Lupin. Our thief has none of it, and we get to relish in the inherent eroticism of Lupin sitting in sniper fire, knowing Jigen's got his back. This is the moment I think Jigen finally believes he can be with Lupin forever.

I love the idea of something longer and more plot driven like a Lupin special where Lupin ends up in hot water and Jigen and Fujiko have to work together to save him. Jigen and Fujiko have such an interesting relationship. They're both partners of Lupin, they don't really like each other, they constantly screw the other over, but when it really matters they take care of each other. I'd like to see that highlighted a little more and also give them space to call each other out and bicker. Nothing sexy between them, but maybe a really interesting threesome with Lupin and Fujiko in a strap on once they save their boy.

- Sonic Vampire Novelist Coffee Shop AU: 📚☕💐

Shadow is an immortal vampire who has seen the world change for the worse too many times. These days it feels like he only lives for his coffee dates with Rouge, another immortal who loves each new era they encounter, warts and all. He has to admit that the book series she got him into speaks to him, at least. If someone in this era can understand him without meeting him, it can’t all be bad. But he hardly expected the goofy blue barista at the new coffee place to understand him the way those books do.

This is a novel length romcom romp with some big feelings about what it means to watch as things change, grow, and die. Expect lots of Big gothic feelings from this one, emotionally charged kissing, and overly-adoring sex. But also expect shenanigans from everyone in the coffee shop, which include Rouge, Amy, Tails, Knuckles, Cream, and more.

- Sonic Blazamy, "Like the Sun": 💖🌸💎

Amy Rose has been in love with Sonic for a while.

Or has she?

When the Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, and Silver are trapped as the fuel sources for Doctor Eggman’s newest evil scheme, Amy teams up with Blaze, Rouge, and Cream to save them. With Sonic out of the picture and Amy fulfilling his role, was she ever really in love with him? Or did she just want to be like him?

This is a novel length epic romance with lots of competent women and lots of romantic Blazamy content. Expect flowery hopes and dreams, badass self-actualization, and glancing hand touches that give way to cuddly and sweet sex.

- Persona 5: 🗡🍛☕

After bringing down the Metaverse twice, Ryuji didn’t think graduating high school and figuring out what to do with his life would be so hard. Akira’s back in town, and the gang’s more-or-less all in Tokyo, but everyone else seems to have a plan while Ryuji just floats. How’s he supposed to change the world when he’s not a phantom thief anymore?

This is a novel length fic that addresses how powerless one can feel being just one person in the face of all the corrupted systems and bigotry the world has to offer. It’s about holding on to what you believe in, working through the doubt, and fighting your way to a better tomorrow with the power you do have. The whole gang is queer, featured relationships being Mako x Ann, Ryuji x Akira, Futaba & Yusuke as platonic life partners. Akira is polyamorous and omnisexual, Futaba’s asexual and aromantic while Yusuke is demisexual and very romantic, Makoto’s a lesbian, Ann and Ryuji are bi, and Haru’s pansexual, demisexual, and aromantic. They’re one giant band of queer Phantom Thieves, and even if they’re not really doing the Metaverse thing anymore, they’re still gonna save the world!

Also, I’m gonna make Makoto not a cop. That super didn’t age well. Zenkichi and his boss can work on making them better/abolishing them for other better organizations.

- Hades Game: ❤️‍🔥💀

Oneshot. I just really need to elaborate on the threesome you can have with them in-game, okay? Healthy and canon poly relationships are so few and far between, so often I have to do a ton of groundwork to explain why it’s working in the fic, but NOT WITH THESE KIDS!

Get ready for Meg helping Zag and Than be better at expressing their feelings, lots of kissing, and probably pegging.

- Castlevania Animation Trevor/Sypha/Alucard: 🧛🏰🛌

Castlevania gave Alucard a threesome last season, and I just really need S4 to give me him being taken care of by his partners. They’re probably not going to give it to me, so I’ll need to do it myself. This is just an everybody loves Alucard oneshot, with the gang’s signature banter (to an extent), Sypha being sexy, and Trever being remarkably sincere. This fic is gonna feel like that Ann Hathaway picture with Trevor kissing Alucard and Sypha holding the end of Trevor’s whip while she leans her head on Alucard’s shoulder adoringly.

- Devil May Cry Nico/Lady/Trish: 💋✨😈

Nico’s gay, okay? Like really, really gay. And Lady’s bi and not into men who make her pay bills, but very into women who make amazing guns for her and demonesses with hearts who fight by her side. Trish is ace, but loves people and is pretty attached to Lady at this point. Plus it’s cute when Lady blushes and says nice things like they’re insults. I don’t have super solid ideas for them yet, and I envision these more like a polycule where Lady’s with Nico and with Trish but they’re not with each other more than seeing it as a threesome, but who knows what might happen. This is probably 1-2 oneshots depending on ideas, but might turn into a series of oneshots if people are interested (or I can’t control myself and inspiration strikes).

- Post FMA:B Blind Roy & No Alchemy Ed: 👀👑🙏

This is actually an old novel-length fic I wrote ages ago and didn’t post that didn’t turn out well because I was new to writing sex when I first wrote it. The plot is good, and is all about Roy learning to work with his blindness to reclaim his ambition of being Fuhrer and changing the system to something that actually cares for its people. He and Ed reconnect, fall into bed, and both set about working through their respective traumas about being “useless” having lost their sight/alchemy. They go to Xing as an ambassadorial party to offer Amestris’s collaboration on Al and May’s Alkahestry experiments--and uncover a plot that might threaten both kingdoms.

- Age of Calamity continuity Mipha x Revali: 🦚🐟💘

The first time Revali noticed Mipha, it was in the heat of battle. She stole his mark, taking them down with a flurry of quick blows from her spear. Violence rained from her like water--and then she healed him on her way to her next battle. No questions, no conditions, just pure kindness. The usual need to measure himself against those around him was quiet in her wake. And Revali couldn’t understand it. But how to get to know more about her? A fish and bird may fall in love, but where would they live?

This fic could be a oneshot or novel length depending on how far down the hole I fall. I need it to cover time, but it could be done in linked vignettes or with actually covering events in detail. I may elect to do a oneshot just to get it done and out of my system faster. So much fic to write, so little time.

Expect trans!Revali, polyamorous Zoras, scary competent Mipha, songbird Revali, love confessions that are made up entirely of berating Link for not loving Mipha the way she wants him to, and breaking these characters a little outside of their assigned roles in BotW and Age of Calamity. Background Link x Zelda, and Urbosa x Zelda’s Mom.

- Epic desert romance about Urbosa and Zelda’s mom: 🏜🏝⚡

I just think Urbosa should kiss women and Zelda’s mom should get more development and maybe a name or something. Also, lightning imagery/metaphors/play.

It also went way over my head that Riju wasn’t Urbosa’s daughter the first time I played BotW, so now I want to write about the Gerudo queen who refused to produce an heir. The Gerudo are fascinating and have a very interesting cutlure, but I think it could be examined from a nonbinary perspective that rejected pregnancy and wanting to find a husband. Not in like a hateful way, but in a way that examines if that’s really right for everyone. There’s that shop in town that sells Voe armor, after all. Maybe finding a husband and having children isn’t something you have to do if you don’t want to. And Urbosa really doesn’t want to.

[wuestenschakal]

Redemption AUs Redesigns: Shadow, Infinite/Zero & Allies

As always, general character informations & headcanons beneath the cut (include age, personality, backstory, etc. especially in regards to Infinite and the Jackal Squad) Everything I listed here is applicable to both Redemption AUs.

For Team Sonic and the Babylon Rogues click here.

Shadow

Physical appearance: mid-20s

He has cropped ears, not unlike those of a Doberman/Pitbull -> a design choice Gerald had been commissioned by GUN to make him appear more intimidating

Zero loves to bite, lick and nuzzle the small white stripe at the back of Shadow’s neck. (It’s one of Shadow’s sweet spots.)

Infinite / Zero

Age:25

Born: Khalid (arab.: eternal, to last forever) -> went by Infinite during the war to sound more imposing and threatening -> starts going by Zero once he decides to turn for the better

Youngest son of a cultist leader, who abused him for being the runt of the litter -> lived basically isolated from the rest of the clan & had to lie, trick and steal his way through his childhood

Ran away from the clan after a very traumatic event -> taken in by Akilah and her grand-father a couple months later

All-around fighter, hence why he calls himself the ultimate mercenary. Receives his scimitar back from Akilah once they’re reunited.

Ø Phantom Ruby -> powers remain, however (though not to the same powerful extent)

Personality: smart (strategist), suave, sophisticated (just listen to the way he talks) which makes it easy to manipulate others, patient, confident (to the point of outright arrogance, though he’s working on it), but also ruthless depending on the situation/person

Akilah

Arab.: Intelligent

Age: 24 3/4

Raised by her grand-father (Malik), after her parents died in an accident

Met Khalid when they were both 12 -> became an inseparable duo ever since (like siblings)

Her weapons of choice are her trusty twin daggers. She’s also a pro at different kinds of martial arts.

Personality: temperamental, fierce, roguish, direct, stubborn, let’s her fists do the talking, fiercely loyal to Zero

Sayf

Arab.: knife

Age: 28 -> older brother of Faris

Met Khalid and Akilah at the age of 21 after he and his brother had been cast out from their pack.

Wears a keffiyeh, which had been gifted to him by his sister before becoming an outcast

Despite being the tallest and strongest, he prefers long range combat over close combat, though he won’t hesitate to punch someone’s guts out, were they to get too close. His weapons of choice are throwing knives, any kind of explosives and sniper rifles (if he can get his hands on them).

The craftsman -> can build/repair any kind of weapon from mere scraps (though it’s nothing like the high-end technology produced by Eggman or Tails)

Personality: calm, taciturn, patient, mild, a good listener, protective over those he deems friends/family

Faris

Arab.: knight

Age: 27 -> younger brother of Sayf

Met Khalid and Akilah at the age of 20 after he and his brother had been cast out from their pack.

His beret has been a gift from his younger sister, before he’d been cast out

The scout/spy -> stealth master. His weapons of choice are his clever, smoke bombs and poison/sleep darts.

Personality: level-headed, more often than not the voice of reason, patient, yet a bit of a stuck-up at times (because he thinks he's the most mature one of the pack -> takes his big brother role very serious)

Talib

Arab.: scholar, seeker of knowledge

Age: 17

The puppy of the squad -> still has his soft baby fur

The last one to join the pack at the age of 11 -> they adopted him into the squad after finding him as the sole survivor amidst the ruins of his burned down village, which had fallen victim to a bandit raid

Mercenary-in-training, though he’s become an assest to the squad thanks to his vast knowledge -> loves to read up on random facts, and does any kind of research which could profit the squad (this can range from arts and architecture all the way to chemistry and technology). He’s also very good at parkour.

Personality: excitable, impressionable (though not to the point of naivety), smart, boisterous, looks up to the others (esp. Zero)

Has a puppy crush on Silver

Silver

Age: 17

his redesign is heavily influenced by the early concept art of Silver as Venice the Mink (as I really like that design)

I headcanon him to be younger than Shadow and Sonic (but older than Tails)

I also headcanon that he has more respect for Shadow than Sonic (to the point of admiration), considering that he’s from the future and Shadow is immortal, and would therefore still be alive in Silver’s time. Hence the reason why I make him side with Shadow. (I also like the idea of him being Shadow’s son *shrugs* Sega only has itself to blame for this, when they decided to cast Silver as Galahad in SatBK)

Rouge

Age: 27

I took inspiration from her Sonic Heroes design, for I adore her purple catsuit, as well as her dark purple and magenta wings. (Also, give this gorgeous queen of a bat more wingspan, Sega)

Supports👏 Shadow👏 no👏matter👏what,👏because👏they’re👏FAMILY~!👏👏👏

[gayenerd]

An interview with music journalist Paul Zollo. I believe this is from 2000. I’m a sucker for Billie Joe talking about his songwriting process.

By PAUL ZOLLO

SEVEN STORIES ABOVE THE SUNSET STRIP in Hollywood is the Chateau Marmont, an old hotel rife with the ghosts and scandals of Hollywood’s recent and not-so-recent past. Famous for the elegant, old-world discretion it affords all its guests, for decades it’s been a safe harbor for stars seeking to circumvent the squall of media surveillance. It’s where John Belushi died, sadly, back in bungalow three, and where Jim Morrison wrecked his back by swinging Tarzan-like from the roof, using a drain pipe as a vine. Every star, it seems, from Chaplin and Bogart to Dylan and Lennon have hidden out here while in Hollywood. “If you must get in trouble, do it at the Chateau Marmont,” Harry Cohn, the first boss of Columbia Studios, once told William Holden.

So it’s an appropriate setting for Billie Joe Armstrong, the lead singer, songwriter and guitarist of Green Day, to be holding court. Armstrong and the band are no strangers to scandal – they’re the ones who started a mudfight that bordered on insurrection at Woodstock II; they’ve been outspoken about their fondness for drugs and alcohol; they’ve been especially harsh in their expressions of scorn for many other bands; and they’ve frequently “redecorated” hotel suites, bars and Tower Records stores alike with a flair for creative demolition that brings to mind the heady decadence of the Doors and others.

           In fact, parallels between Armstrong and Jim Morrison abound. Like the leader of the Doors, Billie Joe is the creative catalyst of his group, but only writes within the fold of his fellow musicians. Like Morrison, Armstrong has been known to walk on the razor’s edge of life, bringing an authentic, expansive passion to every song he sings. He’s also been known to match his inclination to strip his soul bare in song by taking off his clothes in concert. The difference is that when Jim Morrison did it, all hell broke loose, the country was shocked and the singer was arrested. But when Billie Joe does it, he gets acknowledged on the MTV news, Kurt Loder smirks, and that’s about that. Being shocking these days is just not like it used to be.

‘It’s something unpredictable,

But in the end is right

I hope you had the time of your life.”

From “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)”

By GREEN DAY

           Few things seemed more unpredictable than the thought that Green Day would have a Number One hit with a pretty ballad of all things. Even more unlikely would be that the song, officially entitled “Good Riddance” but better known as “Time Of Your Life,” would become as ubiquitous in the American consciousness as the Star Wars theme. Used on “Seinfeld,” two episodes of “E.R.,” and extraneous sporting events (as when Mark MacGuire became the king of baseball’s home-run derby), Green Day’s ballad quickly became more famous than Green Day itself.

           “Good Riddance” now stands alongside Springsteen’s “Born In The USA”, Randy Newman’s “I Love L.A.” and Sting’s “Every Breath You Take,” as one of the nation’s most misappropriated hit singles. Like all of those songs, which are much darker if you examine their core than the mainstream ever seemed to recognize, “Good Riddance” actually comes closer to condemnation than the kind of nostalgic celebration for which it’s been used:

“Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial

For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while

I hope you had the time of your life. “

From “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)”

By GREEN DAY

Though Green Day’s presence on the world stage shifted from popular to astronomical because of this song, many of their old fans felt alienated by their secret heroes’ injection into the mainstream. “[`Time of Your Life’] was a drastic change for us to record,” Billie Joe said. “We knew that there were going to be some people that weren’t going to like it because it’s not a 1-2-3-4-Let’s-go-punk-rock tune. Mike [Dirnt] said, `This is a real beautiful song, who cares what people think?’ So we just went for it. Long term thinking, you know. Punk is not just the sound, the music. Punk is a life-style. We’re just as much punk as we used to be.”

           Of course, definitions flow fast and fluid, as purveyors of punk, such as Armstrong, play along the borders of pop. “A lot of punk rock bands are always trying to be so hard all of the time,” he said. “Macho brutality doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a good songwriter. I think that some of the Beatles’ songs are way more punk rock than most punk songs written today. Like the song `Yesterday.’ It’s such a bittersweet song. “

           Billie Joe was born in 1972 and grew up in Rodeo, a little Californian town just outside of Berkeley. His father and uncle were both jazz drummers. “I was a guitarist in a house of drummers,” he said. His father died when he was ten, the same year he met a neighbor named Mike Pritchard who shared his passion for making music. Together they decided to drop out of high school to start a band, which they called Sweet Children. It was a decision Billie’s mother encouraged. “My mom sort of let me do whatever I wanted,” he said. “When I quit school, she thought that was a good idea because I was really ambitious to play. So I started touring when I was seventeen.”

Pritchard changed his name to Mike Dirnt, Tre Cool replaced Al Sobrante as official drummer, and they called themselves Green Day, a Bay-area euphemism for a day spent smoking pot. Their first release was an indie EP called 1000 Hours, after which they signed with Lookout Records to make 39/Smooth and Kerplunk. In 1994 they ascended to the major leagues, signing with Reprise, and released Dookie. They soon  became an MTV mainstay, and their mudstorm performance that year at Woodstock cemented their reputation as a band on the edge. Three more singles followed, as did sales of more than eight million albums worldwide, and a Grammy Award for Best Alternative Music Performance.

           Insomniac was released in the fall of ’95, but instead of going on a European tour as planned to launch it, they elected instead to stay home and write and record more songs. The result was the most popular, and most critically acclaimed album of their career, Nimrod, which included “Time Of Your Life.”

Warning was the new album at the time of this interview, and the impetus for Billie to talk. Inspired by the rich lyricism of Springsteen’s The River and Dylan’s Bringing It All Back Home, Green Day went away for a while to write and play the songs before recording them. It’s their first self-produced and most sonically adventurous album to date, blending layers of acoustic guitars in with the electrics, and with some unexpected detours, such as the German beer-hall stomp of “Misery,” and the Clash-meets-Kinks pop-punk of the title song.

“Caution police sign you’d better not cross

Is the cop or am I the one that’s really dangerous?

Sanitation expiration date question everything

Or shut up and be a victim of authority

Warning, live without warning…”

From “Warning”

By GREEN DAY

Today Billie Joe is ensconced within an overstuffed burgundy couch in his hotel suite. Although he’s drinking coffee from china cups, and eating fresh fruit and croissants from a silver tray, he’s remained loyal to the punk lifestyle, and is wearing a black t-shirt and baggy jeans. Prior to our talk, rather than linger in the luxury of his suite, he ducked down into the hotel’s bleak back stairway for a cigarette. Though he’s undeniably a star of the first degree, he’s uncomfortable with such designations, and shuns all the trappings of stardom. As opposed to the Ferraris and Lamborghinis driven by his peers, an old Ford Fairlane remains his vehicle of choice. He did admit to one extravagance, however, which he revealed somewhat sheepishly. “As soon as I could afford it,” he confessed, “I went out and had it primered.”

BLUERAILROAD: You write all the songs together in the band. Do you start songs on your own and bring them in?

BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG: Yeah, sometimes. I’ll come up with the song with the chord changes and the lyrics, and then I bring them into practice, and then we sort of restructure them together. I like to come in with a tune. I’ll just play guitar and sing it for them, and then we start to learn it. And as soon as we start to learn it, we can make changes and come up with a different structure. Move the chorus around, make the verse a little longer. That kind of thing. I definitely like to think of it as a collaboration between the three of us.

           Do you always change the songs?

Well, we have a lot of songs. There have been some that I have brought in and nothing really needs to be done. Sometimes I’ll suggest a part that needs to be worked with, and we’ll try some different things. And then they’ll write their bass-lines and drum parts around it.

           Do you ever have a problem sharing credit on songs you wrote alone?

Well, we’re a band. We’ve been able to stick through a lot of years because the three of us support each other. The songs come from Green Day, and I like to stick by that. We like to just keep things equal in the band, and I think it’s what has made our band healthy over the years. We give each other respect. There is no one who stands out more than the other one in this group. Especially since we’ve known each other for so long.

           These days do you write on electric guitar?

No, on acoustic. I have a Silverine Harmony. But it sounds good. I just have it around the house, so I’ve written most of the songs on it.

           Do those songs then shift a lot when you bring them to the band, and play them on electric?

No, because I always have it in the back of my head about the dynamics of electric guitar and drums and bass. Between me and Mike and Tre, I always have that dynamic in my head – what am I going to bring to the table that they’re going to be able to play, and which will have our certain energy. I always keep our energy and our music in mind, sort of subconsciously. But I think that’s the beauty of this. That not only can I play these songs with a band at full volume, but also that I can play them on a cheap, acoustic guitar. And it can have the same kind of impact.

           “Warning” would work that way.

Yeah, it does. That kind of came all together at the same time. I think lyrics on this record were really important to me, and to have a well-rounded record as far as what kind of topics I wanted to write about, and sing about. That was one of those songs that seemed to just write itself. It just came really naturally.

           Is that unusual for you, the feeling that a song writes itself?

Well, I try to go for inspired moments. But if I want to write a song that sounds like it has a pop kind of edge to it, I really want to be able to say something. I have to say something – it’s vital for me. I can’t just write something that would be sugar-coated, and have a pop song with nice lyrics that go along with what everyone is doing on the radio these days. It’s very important for me to have a message that goes along with the writing. So, you know, what comes to mind for me is a song like “The Ballad of John & Yoko,” where [Lennon] had this really nice sounding song. But the lyrics penetrate like a knife. “They’re gonna crucify me…” That’s kind of nice way — nice, I mean, in an oxymoronic sense – to put forward something you want to attack.

           You’ve done that in many songs.

Yeah, I think it adds a sort of demented side a little bit, sort of like a clown in a circus. But it also makes the lyrics a lot stronger. If you take a band like Rage Against The Machine, the music is aggressive, and the lyrics are aggressive at the same time. And I love Rage Against The Machine, but sometimes it feels like you getting bombarded by someone’s else’s point of view. The person is not telling you to think, but what to think. And that’s one thing that I really wanted to come across in the music and the lyrics. To think about the world around you, and not what to think, so to speak. And at the same time, to have my opinions coming through at the same time.

           Are you always clear about the meaning of a song while writing?

No. That’s hard. I mean, sometimes I’ll have things in the back of my head that I want to write about. But I never want to come across as pretentious or preachy. So I just wait for my thoughts to settle. To a certain extent, you have to be a little self-righteous and I think it’s healthy. Especially when, nowadays, there’s so much stuff that is about decadence. And when it comes to rebellion, a guy who has a Rolex watch and is driving around in a Porsche, talking about that he really wants something to break, I don’t really think of that as rebellion, I think of that just as a decadent rock star.

           Do you have any kind of routine for songwriting?

Last record I was just sort of pounding songs. Anytime I had any inkling of an idea of anything at all, I would just grab my guitar and play it and work on it no matter what the song was like. Whether it was inspired or I just got drunk and started playing. But this time I waited for inspired moments. And I think it took me a long time just because of that. I wanted everything to sound refreshing, and something that would make you want to turn it up a little more.

           Did you have times when you tried to work and nothing would come?

Oh yeah. You get frustrated. You feel, “Man, I just want to write a fucking song.” And sometimes it’s just not there. And you can’t dwell on that when that happens. You have to just let it go.

I don’t ever want to try to outdo myself. I feel like if you try to outdo yourself from the last thing, instead of just working on your inspiration, I think the music kind of suffers a little bit, sometimes. Sometimes I’ll just get a very general idea about the kind of song I want to write. And I’ll just sort of store it in the back of my mind and see what comes out. It can come out in five minutes, it can come out in five days, five years, five decades.

           Are there songs you worked on for years?

Yeah. “Longview” was one that we worked on for years. We knew what we wanted to write about. I told Mike to write a bass line and one day I came home. This is when we lived in the same house. He had just dropped some acid (laughs) and he said, “Listen to this.” And I said, “Okay, I guess it sounds good.” He came up with this bass line that really worked well, so we ended up practicing and came up with the song.

           Are there many songs you start that you don’t finish?

Yes. And I’ll just wait for the right time and the right place for it. There are some songs I finish but then I think it’s not right for the record we’re working on. There’s a couple of songs like that off of Nimrod. “Time of My Life” had been written a couple of years before.

           That song resounded in enormously with the public. Was it just a fluke, or did you sit down with the intention of writing that kind of song?

Both. I think that anyone can sit down and write a song. Whether or not it’s any good is another thing altogether. You know, there’s no school you can go to that will help you learn how to become a songwriter. But you can sit down and do it. Especially with rock & roll. But to put something down that is actually really great, it does go beyond you a little bit, and sometimes it takes patience.

           Do you write all the time?

Yeah. Whether it’s good or bad, I don’t know. Or if it’s appropriate for what kind of idea or sound that we want to get across on the record.

           Where do you think the great songs come from?

I don’t know. I really don’t. It comes from somewhere deep down inside of you that you didn’t even know existed. It’s kind of like seeing a shrink or something. (Laughs) There can be a lot of anger, or sadness, or joy, that you had but you didn’t even know you really had – but it can all come out. You feel a connection with it, and so other people can, too. You strike a nerve.

           Does songwriting get easier the more you do it?

I think so. I think you definitely learn more as you go. I think you find new ways to motivate yourself. You test yourself a little bit more and see what comes about. And you challenge yourself in new ways to see what comes out. You learn new ways to get the engines going. But whether or not it does get easier, it’s what I do. And I love doing it.

[cutegirlmayra]

Here's an angsty prompt idea. After their latest battle with Eggman his latest invention inadvertently gets Amy sick which is quickly becoming fatal (not necessarily what IDW is doing but like same vibe you know). Sonic demands Eggman do something to fix this and save her. And we all know Sonic isn't the most emotionally vulnerable but when it gets touch and go he really fears it might be the end. But Amy gets healed and all's well that ends well. Appreciate it ^_^

Only if you’re okay with me going SUPER angsty lol.

-----------------*TRIGGER WARNING*--------: This will be dealing with disabilities/seizure like symptoms, if you are sensitive to this material, please read any of my other fanfictions! (As someone with Asbergers and ADHD, I hope you’ll understand that I know the severity of the context, but I’m in no way trying to make fun of or portray disability in any negative way. If my writing appears as such please note it was unintentional.)

I have put a ‘Keep Reading’ for those of you who wish not to read it.

(Image found from this location: (x), if you have art you’d like to showcase, I still need Preview Images! I’d love to have some helpful artist allow me permission to use their art with their links as credit to advertise their works and also for a preview image to my prompts, thank you so much and support the original creator of this image!)

Prompt:

After all was said and done... no one thought it would turn out like this.

Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Silver all piled around as Sonic sat beneath a shaded tree and held a sleeping Amy next to him.

“This doesn’t look too good...” Tails had taken a sample of Eggman’s third party experimental toxin, meant for Sonic but the enemy ended up targeting Amy as a test-run.

Needless to say, Eggman ended his alliance with the third party after he got ‘experimental crazy’ and decided he didn’t want to work with someone so trigger-happy.

The toxin seemed to place Amy in an endless sleep cycle, but she would twitch or sound off painful whimpers and groans and toss in the sleep at times.

“The data suggests it’s attacking her brain, working it’s way up from the injection point it was shot from all the way up the spinal chord, so it’s striking the main hub for communication signals to the rest of the body.” Tails was watching the gunky chemical inside her progressing at a sluggish pace as it infected up the spinal chord, but not quite at the brain yet.

The image made it look like it was hugging her spine and oozing its way up, but still had a ways to go.

Sonic blinked his eyes, not sure what this could all mean but looked down at Amy. She started her twitches and sounds of pain, so he took his hand and moved it up off of where she was leaning, looping it around to rub the opposite shoulder and looked back to Tails. Her struggles ended with struggling pants, before going back into a deep sleep.

Silver shook his head, folding his arms. He was clearly distressed, him and Amy had joined up early in the adventure, he felt this was somehow his fault, even though he did nothing wrong.

“That madman just kept shooting those shots with that drug everywhere! Whatever it is, it’s got to be a threat to the future as well.” He was so focused on the task at hand, that he hadn’t looked back until he heard Amy cry out and bent to a knee, seeing she had taken a hit for him.

Eggman hollered about waiting for Sonic to be the first hit, but the third party seemed to have their own agenda, and almost shot Eggman too.

Everyone escaped getting hit and defeated both him and Eggman before they parted ways, taking Amy’s limp form somewhere safe.

Before she was fully under the chemical’s effects, she had flinched and stiffened on the ground, trying to keep her pain silent before dropping into the blacked-out state...

“We have to find Eggman, he’s the one who knows the most about this experimental chemical.” Tails motioned his hands, then showed the gunk’s path upwards by pointing to Amy and traveling his hand up from where her spin would be. “We’ve still got time, a couple hours, just going off an estimate.”

Sonic looked back to Amy, “I can’t leave her like this, Tails. She’s unsafe, and that guy still hasn’t shown up yet.”

It was true that they lost sight of the mad scientist, but they were unaware Eggman had separated himself from their ‘unethical services’ but mostly because they wouldn’t follow orders.

Silver shook his head, getting a grip on his emotions. “I’ll do it.”

Knuckles, remaining silently crushed by the lack of help he could offer, turned in surprise to Silver.

“I’m partly the reason this happened... if I just had looked back and paid more attention to her...” he closed his eyes, clearly distraught as Knuckles turned his head away, also thinking that since Silver was with her, he should have been more attentive.

“It’s not your fault, Silver.” Showing some compassion, Tails moved over to him and placed a reassuring hand on Silver’s arm. “Honest, I’m sure if Amy could, she’d say the same thing too.”

Silver looked to Tails and sighed, nodding. During his brief moments of meeting her, he could tell she was a very kind girl.

“I know that, but... I still feel awful!” He kicked the ground and turned away, but looked back over his shoulder to Sonic. “Sonic,... I promise you, I’ll do what I can to keep her safe... but you have to go and confront Eggman about all this.” He swiped out his hand, showing his strong sense of justice as his eyebrows narrowed in his anger.

Sonic waited a moment, as though weighing his options and looked down at Amy.

He gently picked her up, and carried her over to Silver.

In a few short gestures with his eyes, he showed that he was passing the responsibility over to Silver, however short the time would be from him facing Eggman and then coming back to her.

They held a stare for a long time... as though both hedgehogs were making a silent contract, and Silver finally bowed slightly as he took Amy.

Sonic’s hand gripped her arm that was about to flop off her stomach and dangle to her side but his fast reflexes had caught it. He held it a moment, as though transferring the responsibility was a difficult decision. But... if there was hope, he was going to go for it, and Amy would have to be okay...

He had to make sure of it.

He slowly placed it back on her stomach, rubbing her hand discreetly as though promising her he wouldn’t be too long.

He then looked back up to Silver and nodded, the transaction was made and the message was loud and clear.

Don’t Fail.

As Sonic gestured for Tails and Knuckles to follow with a pivot to the new route and a nod, Tails spun his tails and lifted off the ground, taking one final look to Amy and Silver. He smiled weakly, as though also showing his agreement to this, and then went to follow Sonic.

Knuckles... just walked by, glaring Silver down... but finally he unfolded his arms and groaned towards the ground, taking off in a running start.

Looks like he felt too uneasy about this... but didn’t voice his concerns.

He was trusting that it was Sonic’s decision, and apparently would go with it. As he went though, he caught up to Sonic’s leisurely pace in waiting for him, and gave him the same uncertain glare he had given to Silver.

Another message between men: I don’t like this.

Sonic looked away from it, but his expression held no joy, only a serious focus towards the next, on-coming step and fight: I know. Neither do I.

Tails’s eyebrows bent, seeing the mute exchange between the two, his hands bundled up and held in as his usual go-to position for flying, but he turned his body around as he flew forward to look back at Silver holding Amy, his head slackening with his shoulders falling... Helpless.

Tails swallowed hard, “Be safe... Amy...” And didn’t look back...

When Silver finally took a deep, calming but determined breath in, he looked over to see Sonic and his friends had disappeared into the next zone.

“I won’t be naive this time.” He told himself, and headed towards the X-Tornado, stationed just beside the tree. “This time... I won’t make anyone worry.”

It was several hours later as Silver sat down after collecting water and watched Amy on the ground. He fiddled with his gloves, growing a bit restless, wanting to help protect the future but knowing his place was to protect Amy for now.

He looked up and used his telekinesis to fiddle with a blade of grass, making it move left or right and tugging on it but not enough to pull it from the ground.

The world was so beautiful to him... he didn’t want even one blade to die in it.

That thought... led him to look over at Amy.

His eyes bent and it was clear he was remembering her finding him, and how sweet and bubbly she was... she had persisted in joining him for his search for Sonic, carrying a warning that he never knew would have benefited her to know... why did he feel the need to keep it a secret for only Sonic to know?

It wasn’t like he disregarded her, but maybe he didn’t value her company as much as he should.

Now, seeing her so still upon the ground... the wind not even reaching her... It was all a bit much to bear.

He tucked his head down between the gap of his raised knee and bent arm, trying to hide his emotional state as his eyes squinted and mouth trembled.

He wasn’t crying, but he was also trying to fight the sensation of being about to cry.

Then it happened.

She started another twitching and jerking, making odd sounds that spooked him.

“N-no, you’re okay. You’re okay..!” he rolled to his knees and held his hands out as though once again... feeling helpless.

Even his words were desperate to sound comforting, but his panic was so relevant in them.

He used his powers to get a blob of the fresh water he had collected up into the air, moving it towards her mouth.

“Please Amy... just endure it a little longer...” He pleaded, before he heard a large crash and turned around.

The water fell to her side, as the twitching and flinching became minor, but still happening.

He saw a fallen tree, and narrowed his eyes at it before gasping as a robot from the third party, clearly stolen from Eggman’s designs, began to approach.

Then more and more of Eggman’s stolen property, with new logos that were just slapped on over Eggman’s logo sticker started approaching him.

“Not again...” Silver’s fists shifted into a rage-filled jerk, as though in one swift moment, he was ready to destroy and protect. “I won’t let you hurt anyone ever again!”

As the robots all raised their machine-gun arms, having detected them, it was clear they weren’t shooting bullets... but darts.

 “Ur-rah!” Silver lifted up the X-Tornado with his power and held it up as cover to the shots fired. The darts stabbed into the X-Tornado, and the black substance was evident in a small cylinder attached to the dart’s tip.

It leaked into the X-Tornado,... but at least it wasn’t into anyone’s body.

He rose to a knee, shoving the X-Tornado forward to push the robots down. Amazingly, the X-Tornado didn’t even dent in, but was still perfectly intact.

However, some of the darts did bend like a nail having been jammed in the wrong way.

He shoved the X-Tornado to the side and skidded the robots hide off of it, shoving them back into the forest where they came from.

He stopped only to look down at Amy, her twitching much less now, but it was clear something was happening.

He gritted his teeth, his eyes still glossy from his despair before at her condition. “Hang on, Amy... They aren’t getting you. You’re no one’s experiment!” he moved one arm away from lifting the X-Tornado, but his balanced faltered now that one arm was using his psychic power to lift the huge plane up.

He strained, sweat falling from his brow as he jammed his teeth together even more and tried lifting Amy up from the ground too... then himself.

It was a huge escape effort, two hands carrying one large plane’s weight in one hand, and the other with him and Amy.

Knowing his power was faltering at handling too many objects at once, and one being massive, he kept feeling himself dropping and having to catch himself.

When Amy jerked, his mental concentration was momentarily lost and he almost dropped her.

That was the last straw.

“I can’t out run them.” He looked around, knowing he needed a better solution. “I’ll have to hide you and distract them.”

Seeing in the distance a mountain, he pulled up his legs, gathering the rest of his courage and strength, and shot himself towards it.

There was a cave!

His expression turned to joy at the realization, and he quickly flew down to it. “That looks safe!” he exclaimed, gliding down and putting the X-Tornado in the cave first, in and off to the back left where another tunnel formed from the main one.

Out of sight.

“Okay, Amy... Please forgive me...” He caught her into his arms, and held her tightly, dipping his head down in shame at having to leave her side. “Sonic... I said I’d do my best... this is my best option... please believe me...” He flew up to the plane’s passenger cockpit, thinking that if anyone did discover the plane, they would see there’s no pilot and perhaps not search it further but abandon it.

He lifted the clear shielding and placed her in the seat, strapping her in.

She had stopped twitching, and worried, he put two fingers to her nose and mouth.

Shallow breathing...

He frowned, but leaned forward and hugged her head one last time.

When he heard more logs crashing and snapping from being trampled by robot bodies forcing their way through the landscape, his head swung up to check the cave and hurriedly dropped the shielding down again.

“I’ll come back, and hopefully, I’ll bring Sonic and some good news too.” both hands were against the shield, he moved his face closer to look in and still saw her asleep.

“...I’m sorry.” He turned his head away, flying off from the plane’s exterior slowly... danging himself in the air before looking back to the entrance of the cave, having flown into the center tunnel way again and looked as though he was prepared to battle.

He shot out of the cave and began hitting the robots with his power, ramming them into each other and denting their hides till they sparked. “This way!” he cried out, and led the assault of robots after him.

More hours passed...

Shadow was running off with a stolen formula blueprint, trying to evade flying robots that were even greater rip-offs of Eggmans.

As he turned into a cave to hide, he walked down it stealthily, still holding the container with the data chip inside it.

“Rouge, I’ve got it.” he spoke out, touching a device by his ear as he examined the cylinder container further.

“Does it have it?” her voice rang urgently through the mic.

“No... but my scanners say it should be... what?” He walked towards the hidden tunnel path and his eyes widened.

“Shadow? What’s wrong? What are you getting?”

“It’s...” His eyes traveled down the darkness from the plane’s tip, seeing it littered on the side with darts. “The X-Torn-... AH!” his shock couldn’t have been more real as he hurriedly jumped from the cave’s side to the plane’s hide and pulled an intact dart out.

He tilted the chemical inside it... watching it slosh around.

“It wasn’t an error... they’re here!” He exclaimed, but hearing the robots outside, he moved down the plane’s top and kept stealthily pulling out more darts.

“Incredible! Way to go, Shadow! Who knew this abandoned G.U.N base would come so much in handy..! Oh, that’s right. I did. Is it some sort of secret lab..?”

He ignored Rouge’s gloating when his foot hit something in the dark, another cockpit. He looked back to adjust his foot and get around it,... when a darkened silhouette that didn’t match the angles of machinery caught his attention.

Then the shaded figure began to violently twitch and cause a ruckus, almost like a seizure episode.

The thrashes completely threw Shadow off guard, and he stumbled back, his expression showing his horror at whatever beast was trapped inside.

“Rouge, there’s something else here.” He didn’t have time to explain, but pulled out a Chaos Emerald, “Chaos Control!” he illuminated the cave and his entire demeanor fell into a grave look of confusion.

“It can’t be...” His eyes darted left and right, examining her condition as he couldn’t understand what he was witnessing. “It’s-!”

But before he could continue to explain to Rouge, who was blind as a bat from only being able to listen in and not see what was going on, robot steps started echoing in the cave. He turned around, a look of serious emergency on his face.

“Shadow!? What did you find!? Don’t leave me in the dark here! What’s all that thumping sound!? Shadow! Shadow, respond!”

“Not now, Rouge!” he killed the mic, tossing it to the ground as he ripped it off his ear and used Chaos Spears to jam into the shield and break the material.

He unstrapped her from the seat, feeling her flopping onto him and helped her over his shoulder. “Darn, I was hoping for more samples, but this is too important.” He turned back to the see the robots’ lights now come on, searching like a beacon out at sea in all sorts of directions... it was as though they were hurrying to find him too...

He jumped down and consequently crushed the G.U.N earpiece on his decent down, hurrying to the back of the cave.

When the robots fired on their jets, he knew he was heard.

“Chaos-!” he held up the Chaos Emerald. “Control!” and teleported through time and space.

Back with Rouge, she was complaining how the old computers couldn’t diagnose Amy and scan the chemical at the same time.

“What’s more important?” Shadow folded his arms, looking to Amy, “A life or a future life?” then glared to Rouge as though it wasn’t an option to contradict him.

She looked to Amy, not shaking anymore and sighed, knowing the answer as she cut off the research side of the computer and turned on it’s scanners.

“This is bad...” Rouge saw the screen... “The chemical has spread up her spinal chord and has it’s greasy little tethers at the base of her brain.”

“That’s impossible.” Seeing the image, Shadow’s arms dropped and he lurched forward, as though he wasn’t expecting the results to be this severe. “The chemical compound would need an extraordinary amount of time before reaching that far! Where was the injection location?”

When he turned back to Rouge... her hands were trembling, hovering over the keyboard.

He looked up to see her eyes mortified at these readings of Amy’s current state, and Shadow had to approach her and pull her away from the computer, quickly typing in to see more data.

It took all of Rouge’s strength to look away, turning back to Amy and covering her mouth, reaching for her hand.

“How... How could this happen?” Her voice was choking up, “Sonic... Sonic would never allow this to happen! How could they just abandon her like that!” she hit her hand holding Amy’s into the table she was laid out on.

“Keep it together, Rouge.” Shadow’s voice sounded controlled, as though a solider, keeping the trauma at bay and back away from his work. “We need a cure.” He continued, “Or the rest of us are going to end up this way.”

“Who says they haven’t already!?” Rouge’s back bent forward as she coughed into her hand, unable to keep her emotions under control with a sight like this. “She’s slipping away and they just left her there to-!”

Shadow flung around and gripped her hand, pulling her back to him.

His glare said it all.

Don’t assume anything.

She felt her knees get weak and slowly lowered herself to sit on the ground, her wings drooping in stages as they lowered down and dragged against the floor.

Shadow just watched her and removed his aggressive grip on her wrist as it slipped through his grasp. He didn’t mean to be so hostile, but now wasn’t the time to judge others’ actions.

It was the time to act and save.

“I will find Sonic.” He declared, moving back over to the panel of controls and typing in more directives. “I’ve seen enough to know her state... she still has some time before it completely eats away at her mind.” the entire computer shifted over to what looked like research on the chemicals being scanned. “The amount we found should be plenty, I’ve set the computer to reverse engineer. It will take some time... but keep her alive till I can bring Sonic and his friends here... to answer for what they’ve done.” With that last sentence, Rouge looked up to see the pain in his eyes... to show he had a heart after all.

Did he have doubts that Sonic wasn’t as kind and admirable as he had seemed to be? The answer was a resounding yes. He wasn’t denying Rouge’s accusations, but wasn’t going to give in to them until he had the truth.

Nothing was being ruled out, and Rouge nodded as she wiped her wetted eyes and stood back up, being brave.

“Make sure you give them what they deserve for me... Shadow.” she moved back to Amy’s side, and Shadow closed his eyes as though silently accepting that he would.

“If all looks lost...” He began, turning his back to her and talking over his shoulder.

She shook her head, raising her head up as though to catch any remaining wetness from becoming tears.

He looked back towards the exit, not finishing the thoughts, per her body language’s request... and took off.

More hours passed...

“This is ridiculous!” Rouge was surrounded by Eggman’s robots, but stood in front of them and held her arms out to keep them from approaching Amy. “You expect me to believe you came all this way for her!? And not to get your greedy hands on the chemical!?”

“My machines are already leagues ahead of your outdated G.U.N technology!” Eggman’s voice billowed through one of the robots, holding guns made of lazer-power towards her. “As you can see, I’m not equipped with that awful drug. I had thought it would make controlling mindless robots easier to get rid of the human mind entirely, I had no idea what they were really working on...” he confessed, pausing Rouge a moment as she listened to what he was saying. “Now, if you’d be so kind, I’d rather have something to barter with when Sonic realizes I’ve parted ways with the mad professor...”

“So she’s your bait and switch!?” Her leg swung as though threatening to drill into his robots.

“W-woah, woah, calm down, Mama Rouge. I have a nutralizer I created for myself in case this might happen... It would benefit both me and Amy’s current state to test it out, don’t you agree?” His voice sounded as though he was trying to negotiate. “Yes, I want Sonic’s fury to be redirected, but that doesn’t mean I have no intention to present a perfectly healthy Rose to him... Savvy?”

She... slowly lowered her foot down, still ticked off as the robots surrounded Amy and began to move her into a floating transport pod.

“There, now we see eye to eye...”

“If anything happens to her Eggman...” She flew to sit on the end of the pod, showing she was coming too. “You’re screwed.”

“Don’t think I don’t know that... come along then.” he groaned, showing his own ‘calm distress’ as the robot he was speaking through turned and the rest marched out with the transport pod in the middle.

Getting to Eggman’s base, his computer screens were massive compared to the old G.U.N base... but as Rouge stayed by Amy’s side... Eggman’s face grew more and more like stone...

The results... were not in his favor.

As though whimsical at first, he was now showing signs of racing against the clock. Treating Rouge like a nurse all of a sudden, he spoke quickly out without a shred of emotion, only hurry. “That extraction gun. Over there.”

Rouge was being to panic at his odd shift in behavior, but quickly used her wings to push herself to move faster, rapidly grabbing the object he barely gestured to and rushing back to him with dust flying up in her wake.

“She better make it Doc.”

He didn’t say anything.

“Hold her down, she’s not going to like this.” He jammed the gun’s barrel to her side.

“DOCTOR!” Rouge shoved it off her body, “Have you lost your mind!?”

“Rouge, if you interfere, I’ll be sure to blame the consequences on you.” His threat was nothing like she had seen from him before... and complying, she did as she was told.

She pushed Amy’s arms down to the her sides, over her head as Eggman swung the gun back into position.

“What will it do to her?”

He said nothing, only working fast, moving some parts on the gun as it lit up, and then cocked it.

“Eggman...” her plea revealed her fear...

He shot into Amy’s side.

Amy’s body lurched forward and from her, a painful cry.

“Keep her down.” Eggman seemed to be grabbing a stick with movable features and cocked it back again.

An odd substance started draining into the gun.

“You’re not gonna do it again!” Rouge cried out, but Eggman just lowered the gun and let the substance spill into it.

“Could you not talk and let me work, woman!?” Eggman rudely spat out as he watched the substance mingle with some blood... before unhooking it from her side and grabbing some medical supplies to stop the bleeding. “There... if anyone asks...” He kept one hand on the bandage... “I did what I could.”

Rouge saw the grim look on his face and her’s finally broke.

She looked back to Amy, who was slowly coming too, but something was off with her.

Eggman looked away, “I stopped the process.”

“You what?” Rouge saw him turn his face away from her, as though he was hiding something.

“...It’s damage could be recovered... but that’s up to Amy now...” he was speaking too sorrowfully, as though trying to distance himself from the situation.

Rouge wouldn’t allow it.

“EGGMAN!” she grabbed his padded shoulder and yanked him down, he let her, though it was clearly uncomfortable for a man of his height to slump so far to the side like this. She hollered frantically in his ear, “You tell me what you don’t want me to know!”

He grimaced, as though not wanting to but then Amy stirred again.

Her body did some more twitches... as though her muscles were aching, before she slightly... opened her eyes.

Rouge released Eggman and appeared right by her side in seconds, “Amy..? Sweetie, tell me you’re okay.” she placed a hand to her cheek.

“...Rrrrouge...” she breathed out.

Rouge sighed in relief and dropped her head, “Thank Chaos.”

But... when she looked to see Eggman’s face.

Stone.

Why wasn’t he relieved too?

Rouge, worried again now, looked back to Amy.

She was making odd hums, as though waking up, but something was off with them. She looked to Eggman, “Egg...” she said, but began to create weird forms with her mouth, and Rouge’s hand twitched off her cheek as she continued to move as though unused to her limps.

Rouge’s chest rose and fell... “What’s wrong with her?” she demanded, feeling her heart tighten as though not wanting to beat anymore. “WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?!” she turned to Eggman but that was when Sonic, Silver, Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow busted through the door as it feel like cold steel to the empty entrance.

“Rouge!” Shadow cried out, and it was clear Silver was beaten down and bruised... what had happened?

Knuckles darted by the two, followed by a speedy blue blur and Tails... was frozen in fear.

Amy’s eyes wouldn’t concentrate on anything, and her expression didn’t match the situation at all.

Sonic’s blur paused in front of her... stone.

Knuckles halted his franic steps... before looking to the screen, then back to her... his footsteps slowed... and then he fell to his knees.

He bashed his fist into the ground, and then lowered his back as though unable to look further.

Silver’s eyes shook, “Is she..?”

Shadow turned his head away, and Tails finished everyone’s trail of thought...

“She’s... gone.” He gripped his head.

“B-but she’s alive!” Silver gestured to her, grabbing Tails’s shoulder, “She’s still moving!”

“She’s not there!” Tails jerked himself away from Silver, “Her mind’s gone! The Amy we knew is gone!” he cried out, crying and cringing as he fell to the ground, sobbing. “It’s been too much time... We traveled to the cave and she wasn’t there. That took time!” He gripped his chest as Silver’s world began to crash down on him. “Shadow took time to find us!” He seemed to curl up on the ground, as Amy gestured a hand in the air, as though trying to grab something flying around her, as though in her mind... things were different. “We were stopped by that man and had to fight for our lives! We finally got him taken care of and unable to stop us further, but then Shadow got the G.U.N results remotely and my miles-electric had to download the signal, that meant we waited!” he gripped his head again, panting and wheezing as though also going through a mental breakdown. He started shouting as the room fell motionless... still... except for Amy. “When we discovered that the chemical probably had destroyed half of her already, we rushed to find Rouge!”

The situation looked like they were hung up on a wild goose chase, trying to scramble around and find Amy.

“BUT WHEN WE GOT THERE SHE WAS GONE!”

Rouge collapsed to the ground, covering her face with one hand, but through the slits in her fingers, her eyes shrunk and trembled.

“WE COULDN’T SAVE HER!”

-Many days later...-

Cream was out with Amy, supervised by Vanilla as she sat on a bench and walked the two. Cream was bending down to pick flowers, but Amy was staring up at the sky, as though transfixed on something, before Cream held up a flower and she took it, wobbling it in front of her face.

Cream gave a forced smile, just glad that it amused her.

Then... beside Vanilla... Sonic appeared.

“..How is she?” he asked, but his usual cheer and charisma was gone.

Vanilla smiled and looked down to her hands laying gracefully on her lap. “... Her appetites good... she only says one syllable words though... and not many for several days now.” She looked back up with a mother’s care at the two girls, seeing Cream and Cheese try to engage Amy but Amy was still shaking the flower profusely in front of her eye.

Sonic also stared... then folded his arms and adjusted his balance, looking on the ground as though uncomfortable.

“...Does she recognize anyone?”

“She recognizes Cream, but doesn’t seem to notice me. She’ll speak to Cream, but not engage me.” There was some pain being held back in her words... “I hand feed her... But sometimes she bats my face or shoves my hand away.”

Sonic turned abruptly away from her, “I don’t need to hear that!”

“... You asked...” she lowered her head, as though she’s been answering politely for too long, and so she told him the truth to see if that would satisfy him. “She may never get any better, Sonic... You come by and ask but I always tell you the same, kind things... today, you must face the possibly that Amy may be mentally disabled for life now.”

Sonic whole being tensed up, but not wanting to lash out at her, he held it in, struggling.

“... You should see her. Talk with her.” Vanilla finally said, looking to him, “She’d like that.”

“...I don’t think I can handle if-” he cut himself off, hearing the shift in his voice cracking and not liking his emotions being so real in front of others. He cleared his throat and looked to the sky... just like Rouge had done to keep the wetness in her eyes. “If she doesn’t know me.”

Vanilla remained silent, but like a loving mother, got up and embraced Sonic from being, resting her head on his shoulder and leaning her cheek into his, rubbing and stroking his head to calm him down.

“Her mind may not, but her heart will always know who you are, Sonic. You should speak to her.”

With that kind, motherly encouragement, Vanilla called back Cream and Cheese and took her hand as Cream took Cheese’s arm.

“We’ll give you two some space.” she moved further down the trail as Sonic was now solely in charge of watching her.

He took a deep breath, clearly uncomfortable, but walked softly over to her, trying not to spook her.

He bent down by her side, “Hey,... Amy.” He felt a lump in his throat as his smile he had tried to summon for her sake vanished at the sight of the flower falling from Amy’s hands and her taking a few seconds to stop shaking, and just stare at her hand while her damaged brain tried to figure out what had happened.

He closed his eyes, sitting down from his squat and finding this terribly hard.

He had avoided this for so long... he had beaten up Silver in his rage and then yelled at Shadow for leaving her as well.

By the time he got to Rouge and Eggman, there was no rage, only heartache.

“It’s been a long time...” He admitted, “That we haven’t seen each other.” He pressed his two fingers into his eyes, and as he strained against crying, his lips trembled like Silver’s had once done... and it was clear he was on the verge of crying.

That’s when Amy’s eyes blinked and she turned to look at him.

She made some weird mumbling sounds that were in-cohesive, and hit his shoulder with a few strong bats.

“Ow, ow, stop!” he leaned away and held up his hand, catching her slapping hand.

“Son.” she said the first syllable of his name,... stared at him... and then angrily, almost child-like, began to hit him again.

“Woah, stop,.. stop,.. stop!” he kept counter-weighting the hand as she hit before trying to pull away from his touch, crying out as he finally let her go and she scrunched her arms into herself.

He didn’t know how to handle this, but he was going to do his best. “Do you... do you know who I am.”

She made a strange, but clearly upset face, and glared at the ground.

“... I’m so sorry.”

“Son...”

“I failed you.”

“Son...”

“I shouldn’t have left you there. I should have let Silver go with Tails and Knuckles. I shouldn’t have blamed him either... I should have listened to Knuckles’s gut feeling... he kept bringing it up and I kept thinking we had more time. I shouldn’t have punched and kicked him... I shouldn’t have shouted at Shadow... I should have just run, like I always do. I should have ran straight to you and I didn’t. I’m so sorry, Amy. I’m so-... I’m so lost without you.”

Amy’s body turned away from him.

It was a beautiful sky... a wonderful summer day... a perfect scene for a picnic or family outing.

But there they were, a broken man once revering himself as a hero... and a broken girl who he missed dearly.

Then, as though a snake about to strike, her hand went back up to strike him... but he began to cry.

Her hand twitched and slowed... before landing on his head.

“...Son...ic.”

He kept crying.

“Son.. ic... cry...”

He didn’t notice.

“Son..ic.. don’t... cry...”

Then his ear twitched, and his eyes shook a moment as they grew wider and wider.

“Sonic...”

He turned to look at her.

She was crying...

He watched... then cried out, “Vanilla!!!” his voice rang through the flowered fields...

It took time, but with help, Amy slowly recovered, and Sonic was with her every step of the way.

(A huge AU, but ya know, I thought-- ‘what’s worse than a huge side-effect that would lead Sonic to his breaking point?’ here you go~)

[just-absolutely-super]

Sonic ships? 👀

Opening up all my can of worms aren’t ya Anon lol

Sonic x Amy -- my OTP and the one I really, really hardcore ship (like seriously if you’ve ever spent like 5 seconds in my sonic tag you’d figure this out lol). Even with its flaws I adore their relationship and I’m digging Sega finally giving the ship some much appreciated love.

Silver x Blaze -- I actually consider these two my 2nd OTP after Sonamy. As awful as 06 was, I really did enjoy their friendship and it gutted me watching Silver become upset as Blaze sacrificed herself. Seeing them interact in Team Sonic Racing made me so happy.

Knuckles x Rouge -- another ship I really adore. I like how their personalities both clash and compliment each other’s and sonic x gives me all the food

Tails x Cream -- a ship that I’m lowkey on some days and highkey on others. No major, deep reasons why I ship them, I just like the idea of them getting together when they’re older and think they’d make a sweet couple together.

Shadow x Rouge -- tbh I’m more casual about this ship. I like their friendship more, but can easily see them becoming more than friends. Sega really out here giving Shadow an emotional support thief as one of his best friends.

Tails x Cosmo (Sonic X universe) -- Like, seriously, who watched season 3 and didn’t think these two kids were cute? Every time I rewatch Sonic X I’m reminded how good of a character Cosmo really was and how sweet her and Tails’s relationship grew to be until...well...you know...

Tails X Zoe (Sonic Boom universe) -- Not as big on it as other Tails ships tbh but they did have some cute moments in the show. I find it funny how in most continuities (because of the mandate) Sonic isn’t allowed to date so everyone turns to Tails for all the good romances lmao

The Red Wolf avatar x Pink Cat avatar (from Sonic Forces) -- affectionately nicknamed Tom and Ava respectively by my friend Erin. They were the promoted avatars before the game’s release so we jumped on shipping them lmao

Vector x Vanilla -- (but only when Vector gets older) While I don’t know how old Vanilla actually is (she strikes me as a young mother though if I’m being honest), but Vector’s crush on her in the Sonic X universe made me like this ship a little bit

Shadow x Tikal -- This is a crack ship I’m not gonna lie. And the only reason I even started shipping it is because of really good fanart and this one fanfic I read.

Chris Thorndike x Princess Elise -- omg this is a crack ship that i discovered when reading a fanfic a long ass time ago and i was just like holy shit THIS IS PERFECT AJDKFSDALSSDKA

Admittedly, there are some other Sonic ships that I’m okay with but don’t actively ship (such as Shadow x Amy; Knuckles x Tikal; Knuckles x Shade; Shadow x Blaze; Jet x Wave; etc). I don’t know if you’d call them meh ships because they’re just barely blips on my radar.

And there are definitely ships that I have 0 opinions about because I just don’t know anything about some of the characters (*points to Archie Sonic comics*). NoTP-wise there's really only a handful of ships I strongly dislike (not saying them because I kinda like living thanks), but for the most part I’m pretty chill with shipping in the StH fandom.

[spicysonictakes]

Amy's love of Sonic is actually a really important aspect of her core character that serves to, at the same time, emphasize her steadfast loyalty to her friends/ideals as well as her stubbornness and resolve to achieve the goals that are important to her!

While, generally speaking, the "overobsessive girlfriend type who won't just let it go" trope is a bit outdated and I'm glad to see Amy being treated as more of a character independent of Sonic in recent years, Amy was never actually a full, unabashed embodiment of the trope. Amy is a very strong character who has always, from the beginning, been defined by her single minded obsession with pursuing what she wants, and that hasn't always been Sonic. In Sonic CD, the reason she was at Never Lake was because she was searching for the love interest she read in her tarot cards; she wanted something, the general feeling of having somebody to love (don't we all), so she went to go get it. Just like Sonic, she really isn't one for waiting around patiently for things to happen.

Also similar to Sonic, Amy has a VERY strong sense of right and wrong and will do anything she can to help people, no matter how much that is. This can be seen in every game she's in: Sonic Adventure, she goes on a quest to find the flicky's family, even though she had no obligation to and it put her in harm's way. She puts herself between Sonic and Gamma, even though it was a dangerous conflict, because Gamma gained her trust and she refuses to let a friend get hurt, even by Sonic. In Sonic Adventure 2, she follows Tails to Prison Island and Sonic to literal space because saving Sonic is important and saving the world is important, so she isn't going to sit by and do nothing. Heck, even in Sonic '06, she stands between Sonic and Silver, two of her friends, when Silver was determined to MURDER Sonic because she refused to accept a world where it would be necessary for two of her friends to fight to the death (among other reasons I'll get to in a sec).

The reason Amy is so obsessed with Sonic clearly isn't just because she thinks he's attractive or she likes the idea of being a couple (even though she definitely does). It's because he's Sonic. It's because he always helps people in need, because he doesn't let silly things like rules or logic stop him from doing what's right and succeeding, because he's an unstoppable, impossible force for good that nonetheless manages to live his life doing whatever he wants and she just gets caught up in that fantasy. Who wouldn't?

So, she chases after Sonic. She constantly pursues him romantically, assumes they're already a couple, harrangues him about dates and gets mad when he doesn't comply. But... I feel like, on some level, she knows that nothing she does would actually convince him to date her. That's not the point; in fact, if her antics DID get him to conceed, she probably wouldn't like him as much as she does. That'd be too easy, too weak. No... she came into this PREPARED for a challenge! Amy is a force of nature; if she wants something, she finds a way to get it, and what she wants isn't just somebody to love anymore. What she wants is SONIC to love.

She'll run to keep up with him. She'll stick by his side through thick and thin, give him her support whenever he needs it even if he says he doesn't, stand up to a person she trusts saying letting him live will damn the world and say "I don't care, a world where killing someone like Sonic is necessary in order to live peacefully isn't a world that I want to live in. If I had to choose between the world and Sonic, I would choose Sonic!" (only that last part is actually in the quote but the rest is implied, and damn if that isn't raw as hell). Amy is 100% ride or die, loyal to a fault to the cause and person she believes in more than anything, so she'll do all that, be the best friend she possibly can, and then strongarm him into going on a date with her because maybe he'll never like her like that but damn if she's just going to give up.

Amy is a lot of things, but she's not a quitter. Sonic deserves no less.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #428: Unexpectedly Cute Pairs (Sonic Series)

Vanilla: (Silently Gasps at Something Very Precious In Front of her and Vector) Oh my goodness....

Vector: (Chuckles Lightly at the Sight of Espio, Blaze, and Silver Peacefully Sleeping with on another on the Sofa, Under a Blanket) Well this is something you don't see everyday.

Vanilla: Vector, this is so adorable~ How did this happen?

Vector: This probably happened after their mission last night. Must've been pretty tiring.

Vanilla: (Smiles Sweetly) I'd say. They look so peaceful when they're asleep.

Vector: Hmmm....

Vanilla: (Turns to her Boyfriend) Vector?

Vector: You know, I've been thinking.

Vanilla: About what?

Vector: Well, ever since Silver and Blaze has been helping us out with most of our cases as of late, Espio would always work alongside them.

Vanilla: Oh really? I wonder why's that.

Vector: (Shrugged) Maybe it's because he has some kind of respect for their abilities and junk? I mean, Blaze has fire powers and Silver's a psychic.

Vanilla: (Smiles Softly) Well, either way, I'm glad that Espio is making new friends.

Vector: (Smiles Brightly) Yeah, me too. It's nice for the guy to hangout with someone that isn't always me and Charmy for once.

Vanilla: Okay. It's high time for me to make breakfast for everyone!..... Buuuuut before I do that....(Slowly Takes Out Her Phone)

Vector: Uhh... Vanilly? What are you up to?

Vanilla: I'm going to take of them sleeping. Don't worry. I already put the phone and it's Camera Mode on silent. So I'm good to go!

Vector: (Shrugged) If ya say so. (Walks out of the room) Try not to get caught. Alright, 'hon?

Vanilla: I won't!

An Hour Later at the Kitchen Table........

Espio: (Facepalms After He Saw the Picture Vanilla took of him, Blaze, and Silver) Did you seriously took a picture of the three of us in our sleep?

Vanilla: I'm so sorry, Espio! I couldn't help it! You three look so precious together that I had to take a photo of you all!

Cream: (Smiles Brightly) I never knew you three would become best friends already.

Charmy: (A bit Confused) Yeah. Since when the heck did that happened?

Silver: (Chuckles Lightly) For a while now.

Blaze: (Smiles Softly) I believe we enjoyed every moment of it.

Espio: (Starts Blushing a Little) Y-Yes...

Vector: (Smiles Brightly) That's great. Though, it was pretty unexpect to see you guys sleeping together earlier.

Blaze: (Raised an Eyebrow) What makes you say that, Vector?

Silver: Yeah. What's wrong with making sure our boyfriend get some much need rest?

*Complete Utter Silence*

Vanilla/Cream: ('GASPS')

Charmy: NO WAY!!!

Vector: (Let's his Fork Drop from his hand while Having Both Eyes and Mouth Widened in Shock).......

Silver: (Eyes Widened) D-Did I seriously said that out loud?

Blaze: (Rolled her Eyes) That you did, Silver....

Espio: (Facepalms Once More) ('Sigh')

Vector: Y-You.... A-And him!....A-A-And her-

Espio: (Got up from his Chair) Yes, Vector. (Holds Both Blaze and Silver's Hands Right Beside him) All three of us are in a relationship together.

Blaze: (Got up as Well) It's true.

Silver: (Got up from his Chair While Happily Nodded) Mmhmm.

Vanilla: (Smiling in Glee) Oh my goodness! That's wonderful!!~

Cream: (Happily Clapping her Hands) Congratulations, you guys!~

Cheese: Chao Chao!

Charmy: (Starts Smiling Supportively) Yeah!! I think. I mean, it is good news, right?

Vector: It's Great News, kid! I mean...(Turns to the Couple) How long have you three been together for?

Silver: For a while now. (Chuckles Lightly while Rubbing the Back of his Quills Back and Forth) We're still getting the hang of it. Learning and whatnot.

Blaze: We wanted to tell you all about this sooner....(Gently Squeezes Espio's Hand) But this poor thing here is afraid of what you and Charmy would think.

Charmy: (Eyes Widened) Seriously?

Vector: (Frowns a bit Worryingly towards Espio) Espio, is this true?

Espio: I.....(Take a Look at Both Silver and Blaze, Who Each Gives Him Reassuring Smiles, Before Taking a Deep Breath and Turn Back to Vector with a Little More Confidence) I was afraid that.... Neither of you would approve. I'm sorry.

Vector: (Gives Espio a Reassuring Smile) Dude. We would totally be fine with you dating whoever you like.

Espio: R-Really?

Charmy: (Smiles Brightly) Definitely!

Vector: Yeah. As long as you're happy and those two treat you right, that's good enough for me.

Vanilla: That's right. You three have our Undying Support.

Cream/Cheese: (Happily Nodded)

Blaze: (Smiles Softly) Thank you all very much for your approval. And Vector, I promise you that we care and even love Espio very much.

Silver: (Smiles Brightly) That's right! We're going to be by his side no matter what. He means a lot to us, you know?

Espio: (Almost at a Loss of Words) You guys.....

Charmy: This is all really great and all. Buuuuuut........when IS the wedding?

Espio: (Immediately Starts Blushing Heavily) WHAT?!!

Silver/Blaze: (Blushes as Well) Wedding?!

Vector: (Glares at Charmy) Charmy!!

Vanilla: Oh my gosh.....(Smiles Excitedly While Rapidly Clapping her Hands) That is a wonderful idea, Charmy!~ I'll do my best to plan out the wedding! (Turns to her Daughter) Cream, would you like to be my special little Flower Girl

Cream: ('GASPS') (Smiles Brightly) Mommy, I would be so honored!~ (Gives her Mother a Big Hug)

Vanilla: (Excitingly Hugs Cream) Ooooh!~ Thank you, Sweetie Pie!

Cream: (Giggles Softly) You're very welcome, Mommy. (Turns to Cheese) You hear that, Cheese? We're going to bring Flowers in the Isle!

Cheese: (Smiles Brightly) Chao! Chao! Chao!

Vector: (Facepalms While Sighing) (This Family's too cute for their own good....) (Glares Back to Charmy) You see what you did, you numbskull?!

Charmy: Ah c'mon, Vector. Don't you think seeing these guys being married would be awesome

Vector: Charmy, they are all still teenagers! Why would teenagers want to get married now?!

Charmy: (Shrugged) I dunno, man!

While Vector and Charmy starts arguing with one another and Cream, Cheese, and Vanilla starts planning a very early wedding, the three couple watches them in disbelief.

Blaze: (Softly Facepalms) Honestly....It hasn't been a full hour and they're already starting to plan a wedding...

Silver: Guys, I'm starting to think blurting out our relationship might not be a good idea after all....

Espio: (Smiles Softly as He Gently Squeezes both of Blaze and Silver's Hands) Honestly, Silver.... I'm glad you told them. I wouldn't have known how happy I would truly be if you didn't. Plus....(Smiles Brightly) I love and care about you two so much.

Silver: (Smiles Sweetly as His Heart Begins to Melt) Espio.....We love you too.

Blaze: (Smiles Sincerely) So much and more.

And just like that, Blaze and Silver begin to kiss both of Espio's Cheeks at the same exact time. Which cause their chameleon boyfriend to blush into a different color entirely.

Espio: T-T-T-Thank you very much.....

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@chompycroc

@albion-93

@26shann

@princeoflions123

@rechicken-and-waffles

[true-blue-sonic]

for the ask game: 8-9-11?

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP

For New New Beginnings (with Silver from a good future with Eggman Nega etc.), I wrote a little scene wherein Espio and Sonic took Silver to go get an ID card/passport... except the fact that I want this story to differ from New Beginnings in that Silver travels through time a lot more, and also spends time in the future. Thus, I don't see how much use he'd have for an ID card from the past. That scene might get cut, but maybe I'll find a way to recycle it in!

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

Hmm... I would like to do more with Splatoon; that franchise also has me good, haha. I have a few ideas about Side Order and what I would like to see in the DLC, but that I don't think we'll get in the end. Those are story ideas I've had, but have done nothing with so far.

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

Oof, always. Mostly just the fact that I don't know where I want my stories to go, so to say. I have an ending in mind for multiple WIPs, but how to get there? No idea, rip. That being said, another struggle I have for New New Beginnings is that I don't really have something for Espio to go through himself, if that makes sense. He's the supportive factor for Silver who helps Silver develop, but he himself doesn't really... do so much. And that role of helping others develop is more something that suits Sonic, I would say. So I need to go find something for Espio to experience too!😅

[she-toadmask]

I’m kind of in a mood suddenly so below the cut there will be me just talking about fanfics I have read or am reading and why I like fanfic and stuff because I need to just

Fanfiction fucking rocks the basic part before all the stuff about it as the story just...it’s so easy to access and there’s so much and it’s just all there on the internet I don’t have to find a physical book

And on AO3 (where 90% of good currently-updating fic is afaik) there is TAGGING where you will know what you’re getting into (unless the author suddenly adds a sex scene and only then updates the tags but at least they give a warning at the start of the chapter but it doesn’t bother me as much as it did a couple years ago as long as I know it’s coming I know it’s a tool and it has its uses) with character drama and deaths and all that jazz not to mention how Ash being a badass has a specific tag and just other random things having tags that are important parts of the story

Like there are multiple fics I have found (not all of them are living fics sadly) of writing Ash’s journey in the beginning differently, like there was one I saw once that I kind of forgot to keep reading where he went to Sinnoh (and was still rivals with Paul and I think their ship tag was there?) and it said it was following game plot and then there’s one that I definitely don’t have open anymore because it didn’t update for some amount of time where he had a Joltik and then a Ferroseed and it’s really cool and a different one that’s still living and it’s called Pity of the World and Jesse + James (who is genderfluid in this fic) + Meowth are good people and stuff and just steal abused Pokemon and they run into Ash and they all end up being travel buddies and Ash understands Pokemon (not literally of course that’s not this fic) and also just knows what James’ gender is before they say anything and also in one chapter Zapdos is in Gringy City and says something about friendship being for mortals or something??? idk we’ll see and then there’s a different fic that I was reading and lost when switching devices and Ash was raised by Pokemon and literally can speak Pokemon and it was really neat but I haven’t tried to find where I left off because I’m too lazy for that tbh but it is still updating it’s Symbiosis or Symbiotic or something like that

Most things involving Ash that aren’t shippy or weird like that (ok there are some I’m not interested in but whapdfajaldjakjdf) end up being really cool because he’s a fucking legendary magnet which can either be played for laughs or deadly serious or just not be part of the fic if it isn’t relevant and so many fics use Aura it’s really cool (including Pity of the World I think he mega evolves Pidgeot (who evolves before leaving) when he fights Sabrina who does not have a doll in this fic) and there are different ways they do it and the thing I was mentioning about his connection with Pokemon like maybe it’s just a bit more than normal or it’s just yes he is everything and I kinda skipped out on gens 6 and 7 of the anime but I get enough to understand what they mean in chat fics and when referring to it in other fics it’s really cool

I think I mentioned Creepypasta and how there were two Harry Potter Creepypasta fics, one that was one and was slow to update if it wasn’t dead and one that was on the fourth one actually I was wrong about what number it was I think and updates every two weeks the first one is more lighthearted/written by a younger person like Slendy is a character and Harry x a lot of the ‘pastas I guess and it takes place starting before 4th year and the beginning is kinda meh with some weird dialogue and absurd levels of Dumbledore Ron and Hermione bashing but it does call out some of the other legitimate problems like how the lake trial in the tournament just kidnaps people which is very big because it was Ben who was kidnapped so big yikes there and honestly it’s not what you want to read if you want something really high-quality and serious like not that it doesn’t take itself seriously but it feels closer to something I would have read when I was in middle school than most of the Sanders Sides fics I read (just using that as comparison because the vast majority of that is well-written stuff). Then the other one!!!! For one it has a much more realistic/developed take on the Creepypastas’ existence like how the stories are how they exist with Slenderman being a cosmic horror being thing more than a character with character which is always really cool and Jeff kidnaps Harry as a baby (he is Boy when he is with the Creepypasta and Harry when at Hogwarts and there’s some really cool stuff about how they’re different) and, having lived with murderers, Harry gives zero fucks about things and kills Fluffy in the first book long before other stuff happens, Quirrel tries to use him to get the stone but gets annihilated at the mirror because family and then Voldemort is just a giant white snake for the rest of the series so far and also because he sucks Lockhart tries to exorcise Harry because Harry is fucking nuts and it’s great and also Harry is a Hufflepuff and there is probably more Gryffindor bashing than is necessary and pretty much all the adults get bashed for sucking (like in book 3 the boggart stuff is called out for being hella dangerous for them also Harry can’t cast the Patronus charm make of that what you will idk what) though Harry does make for quite the conversation topic among the teachers, Harry x Neville is the main ship and Neville eventually gets resorted into Hufflepuff because the Gryffindors are being massive dicks to him, also Harry flirts with Draco because Harry gives no fucks and it’s great (also both books give Luna lots of love, like the young one she’s a Seer like from Madame Macabre’s old webcomic that’s dead as it gets and the long one she’s just a good character and shit) and Harry makes these books to spread Slenderman’s legend throughout Britain/the Wizarding World and Draco may have gotten one and survived???? but now Neville has one during the summer months (and also through feeding Fanged Geraniums or whatever live stuff and blood instead of bonemeal he is creating Audrey II and straight-up says something about having to call it Harry Jr. but that’s probably just a little joke and isn’t going to stay beyond this but it’s just fun because Little Shop of Horrors slaps) and I have big fear about him doing the stuff and getting hurt and Harry/Boy conflict will be scary

There’s this other fic I found when trying to find good fics involving Ash and it’s kinda weird and seems to be written by a younger author but we’ll see where things go, like Harry got transported by Celebi to the world of Pokemon and Giovanni is Silver and Ash’s dad and they live with him and also Harry does too and he’s in a wheelchair and also is really smart and I wish we had gotten to spend a bit longer seeing their dynamics before when Harry is 14 the Goblet of Fire somehow spits his name out and Celebi helps with getting Harry (and also the other three because of course) safely there without dying because dimensional travel is hard and Celebi is friend and Luna gets to be important here too I think she’s shown up as a named student and guided them to a room and seems to know things about the castle and that’s kinda all there is so far there’s a bit more but it’s not got a lot yet I hope the author keeps going it’s a weird idea but I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes

Oh I forgot to talk about it but there’s this whump Ash fic that was being written under one title but it got dropped and now it’s being rewritten with the same concept but under a new title and going about a lot of things a different way it’s just the same starting premise and the fic is Helpless and Ash almost dies multiple times and there’s this theme of adults failing him and also Gary fucks a thing up and Ash needs support and therapy (a good number of fics have Ash needing therapy but given the shit he’s been through that is not surprising especially from my limited knowledge of Kalos holy shit Lysandre was doing some mad shit) and it’s just good but it is a lot of hospital and Ash being hurt and almost dying so be warned if that isn’t a safe read for you

The reason I don’t just outright block explicit anymore despite the horrors of trying to find safe Pokemon fic on AO3 amidst the consensual porn, incest porn, pokephilia porn, etc., is I randomly decided to try and find some Sonic fanfic on AO3 because a couple people on YouTube have been doing Sonic story stuff (Sonic What If has some good stuff that’s just... what-if scenarios and then there’s Sonic Rewritten which takes a game’s plot and then redoes it but good like the Deadly Six having personalities or Sonic 06 not having maybe bestiality or Generations being more than ‘oh past and present stages now have nostalgia’ and Robotnik and Eggman are significantly different people in that one and it’s really cool) and I thought maybe I would find some good stuff on AO3 (which I have but nothing that I want to ramble about specifically though there was one fic where Eggman does Tails clone and then his original body dies so he’s stuck looking like Tails and it’s kinda wild) and I found a fic that was marked explicit because torture and violence (honestly it wasn’t that bad) and I like it and don’t want to miss something that I might like by accidentally blocking it and now when I try to find Pokemon fic I have to see Leon x Hop and Pokemon x human smut.

There’s one Sanders Sides fic that I was reading and I don’t remember the name nor do I know if it’s updating I think I lost it but it started from the beginning of the series with the Dark Sides being a platonic poly family and when they weren’t in the episode they were talking about it/the Light Sides and it’s honestly really really good and the author just decided to have Deceit’s name be Janus and it was amazing when it turned out that was his real name it was just great but IDK if the fic has been abandoned, I think I lost it in the shift, but it was really good (but sympathetic dark sides and unsympathetic patton and roman and logan for a bit so do be warned if those aren’t comfortable for you)

Oh yeah I remembered another fic I can talk about there was this one Creepypasta fic and it’s completed and it is a Jeff x Reader but it kind of just stops being about the romance after a certain point and just goes way off the rails. It starts like ‘oh this will be a normal x reader with mansion and Slendy is dad and Zalgo is probably evil’ and then NOPE SLENDERMAN HAS BEEN RAISING FAMILIES THAT LOVE HIM TO TURN THEM INTO CRYSTALS TO MAKE HIM MORE POWERFUL AND ZALGO IS AGAINST THAT and it just is great like I never see Zalgo being good, like Slenderman being evil or whatever is plenty common (especially in the innumerable ARG fics I don’t read because I don’t have the attention span to learn what the fuck the source is) but never in tandem with Zalgo being anything but chaotic evil n shit it’s wild and it’s great and also Slenderman’s parents have faces I guess idk that was weird also there is one smut chapter but like the author said you can skip the smut and I did and didn’t feel like I missed any plot stuff so if that’s a no for you just keep an eye out for the author’s warning. It is by a younger writer, as demonstrated by its daily updates while it was being written, tiny chapters, and some general writing style stuff common to younger writers, but honestly I just love it for being something so wildly different, under the guise of a typical x Reader fic.

Speaking of ship stuff and Creepypasta the trilogy of Sans x Creepypasta fics are amazing. The writer definitely improves over time, the beginning of the first book kind of has the weird ‘then I knew I was in love’ stuff from a couple of the pastas (then again I’m ace and demiro so starting romance is just generally weird) but it is just a really good series. Sans ends up with seven kids in the third book and, while everyone else in the Undertale cast is bashed in the first two, Papyrus does seem to get some redemption in the third, so there is that. Also Murderer Sans is a fantastic tag, Gaster made a deal with Zalgo to create the skelebros and Sans is more demon than Papyrus by a lot and Zalgo is trying to kidnap Sans and Sans’ children so he has his family together to destroy the world and wander free and it’s wild and also Chara and Flowey show up and also LJ being an angel is mentioned and relevant to the plot for a bit so that’s neat and I don’t know all the details of how it ends because I lost it when I shifted and didn’t want to find where I was but it’s a great fic (albeit with a few things I can argue on) and the author has also been writing other Sans x Creepypasta stuff but I haven’t read it because idk

I really wish I had a good Minecraft fanfic to gush about but I really don’t it’s hard to find Minecraft fic that isn’t tuber-based, either Dream and friends (which occasionally I find a good one but so much is either Dream SMP which I have no interest in getting into, involves people I don’t know from Dream SMP, or just is shippy or straight-up doesn’t have a premise I’m interested in) or Hermitcraft (I fell behind so I have no idea what’s happening anymore) (but also like Mianite and Aphmau stuff but not as much as used to, but now Dream rules all so), and it just sucks. Like if some of it was Team Crafted fic I would be on board like hell yeah give me that nostalgia juice but it’s so much shit I just don’t know. I love the idea of Minecraft fanfic because there are so many options for the world and you can either make your own characters and you probably have to but then there’s just if you use Steve Alex Herobrine or Notch how they are written depends on the author and I live for that shit it’s a big part of why I read Creepypasta fic it’s because I like when there are different ways characters can be done (not unsympathetic or sympathetic like Patton so much like straight-up different characters) like Herobrine and Notch are the big ones like good vs evil, involved vs not, serious vs comedic, there are so many different ways to play them and I’m so disappointed AO3 doesn’t have much of it and so much of it is just Dream stuff and it usually just isn’t what I’m after in a fic.

The only other fics coming to mind right now are two wildly different fics involving Springtrap x Reader, one of them is being transferred from Wattpad for copy reasons, complete with tiny-ass chapters and that language that’s just so middle-school in the best way possible (like William and Springtrap are different consciousnesses and they way the author describes their struggle at one point is just so similar to a stupid thing I did and I have so much affection for it) and the other is legitimately really really good and the reader-insert has recently found out that Springtrap is William Afton and has murdered many children and they are currently dying multiple times to help his victims pass on because they can see ghosts and it’s actually really good and I have no idea where things are going, reader has currently met up with Michael Afton, currently all purple and dead and stuff, and has learned about remnant (weird-ass shit from modern FNAF lore) and it’s getting wild. I feel like there are two types of FNAF fic, ones in the style of FNAF 3/4 and earlier and ones from maybe 4 onward. Like ones where the lore was basically ‘bad man committed murder against children and they’re possessing the animatronics and that’s why they’re trying to kill you’ and then 4 starts having some more expansive lore ish and then after that it just goes everywhere with remnant and scooping and even more locations and also the books matter probably??? There is this one fic involving Glitchtrap that hasn’t updated in a bit and it’s fun, I like the idea of Glitchtrap and really wish I could read more fic just centered around FNAF VR. Then again, BEN was always one of my favorites and after I stopped being absolutely terrified of Herobrine I really liked his possibilities, maybe I just like the story utility and possible execution of characters with wide-ranging powers over technology and affecting the real world outside of it, IDK.

Ok I’m out of ramble energy, and also topics unless I go more in-depth about specific character options, but my energy is gone so I think that’s the end of it. I typed 3,000 words about fanfictions I’m reading and probably could have talked more about some of them if I wanted. This is my new hyperfixation. I guess. At least I know I have one, it’s reassuring to know for some reason, like for a while I missed how much Pokemon was my life in elementary school and Minecraft was in sixth grade, like it was nice just having something to focus on, though maybe that’s just the college and depression talking.

That was good, I’m glad I did that. Y’all are loved.

If you seriously read this entire thing... Wow. I really appreciate you digitally listening to me talking about random fanfic shit that I like. You’re really really cool.

[loudlypanickinginvenezolano]

Amusing.

«And this, you mother fucker, is why we can’t want nice things. There is an actual risk of them becoming true, and then we will fucking panic because we don’t know that to do. Did you want kisses? There are your cursed kisses, you whiny! And you can’t kiss back nor pet or…or… Fuck this shit. » Silver is trying his best, Shadow is still very confused, and Sonic...He´s in there, somewhere... (Working title and summary. Going to change them when I have something more solid to put in.) Even though only Shadow and Silver appear in this chapter, Sonic is in there. He is going to appear in the second chapter. So, yes, this is a triple s.

Part one, because I have no self control and this is too large.

In AO3 as well. [But I didnt cut it cuz I was lazy. Maybe later.]

It was amusing, and something that even now surprised Shadow to no ends. His life, now, consisted in a lot of things he never thought about, he never though he could have, hell, things he didn’t even knew existed! So, in a sense, it would be normal for him to have never ever imagined something like this could happen, to him none the less! But it has, and it was… right this second, even!

He looked over his shoulder, gazing straight at his fluffy boyfriend who was sitting by the counter, staring at, well, him, like a very small puppy would. Once he noticed Shadow was looking, he flushed a bit, but didn’t gaze away. Actually, he seemed to preen a bit at having the ebony attention on him, smiling softly, dopey almost, and eagerly sitting straighter, as if showing off his height. The whole display made Shadow look away, chuckling a bit under his breath, feeling how his own cheeks seemed to warm up a bit. It was almost a giddy feeling, his stomach rolling, and his usual stoic stance yeeting itself off the window without asking Shadows opinions first. It was stressing, and annoying as hell. Staying calm and in control of himself seemed to get harder every time, and it wasn’t for the rage or sadness anymore, not at all, at least, but by this very confusing I-don’t-know-how-to-explain-what-I’m-feeling feeling, or this whole shame and need that seemed to take over his whole body wherever they touched, like, you just got a kiss, why do you need another one?! Stop being so clingy and needy, you are going to bore them! Just lay down, go to sleep! What?! No! Stop staring at their hands, you idiot, they are going to notice! Sleep on your side! Sleep on your fucking side you Disaster-bitch! Don’t you dare roll over to them, doesn’t matter how “Oh, soft and fluffy” they look! Don’t you fuckin-Wa-Wah! Oh god! Oh, my chaos! Why is Sonic hugging us?! He didn’t!-He didn’t send a notice first! It was, it was so sudden? How are we supposed to react to this!? We are not ready, we really ARE NOT READY! He is, he is snuggling? Oh my why is he so cute? Who said it was allowed?! We want to fill a compliant! Nono! Don’t you dare tense up nor make a fucking sound, don’t you dare to wake him up! Shit! Had it gotten hotter in here somehow? Their face was going to melt! Was really ruining him. The temptation of just jumping in, out of the blue, and kissing their face or biting on their shoulders was so strong sometimes…He looked down at the mushy thing in front of him, barely time enough to hold the palette once again before he felt a warm weight settling on his back, careful as always with Shadow spines, and maybe not so thick, but definitely strong arms hugging him tightly. — Hiii~. — Silver sung softly on Shadows ear, giggling happily at seeing both of them twitch and fold in reflex. [I almost wrote Infinite instead of Silver. Wow, the ideas.]

Yas. Ok. Thank you, that is…that was exactly what Shadow needed. A reminder of how much of a freaking walking gay disaster he is.

Fighting with claws and fangs and every little bit of sense he had the oh so big urge of squirming, and the even bigger want of leaning into that white chest fluff and purring because, Oh damn, Shadow, who could have been the image of composure and coolness, kept mixing smoothly, soft yet firm wrists moves as a simple “Hello” fell out his mouth.

Nailed it.

— Are you doing other of this, eh, Things? — He didn’t sound sarcastic nor upset in any kind of way while asking, unlike Sonic, who very much did; Instead, Silver seemed to be genuinely curious, staring obviously at Shadows hands and work in progress in his usual child-like fascination. It sometimes made Shadow want to give him another kick in the head thanks to the frustration, but this time, it was almost… endearing. The attention he received from his boyfriend usually threatened with making him blush extremely or freezing him up completely, it was…almost overwhelming, but in a good sense? So…Supportive? Yas! That is what it was!

It completely frightened him.

— Yes. — That was what Shadow always answered when asked, “What are you doing?”

A thing. It was short, true, and didn’t give any detail away. Nonetheless, to be honest, most of the time it was very obvious that he was cooking something, or doing some kind of thing for maybe a kinda craft project? He just…He was just doing things. Sonic hated when he answered like that, though. He would whine, glare, scoff, or walk away, sometimes a rather strange mix of them and a bit more, that always left Shadow blinking and in complete blank.

And Shadow was supposed to be the drama king?

— It smells funny. — Silver declared with a small laugh, perching his head on top of Shadows and looking at his boyfriend work the…flour? (Was that-What was that?) With his fingers now. —I like this. Whatever you are doing, I dunnu, I like it. A lot. I really do.

—Why? — Shadow couldn’t help but ask, wishing to look up into his boyfriends face, but not doing so in order of not dislodging him. This. This was…was part of the long list of things that he couldn’t understand of Silver. If he didn’t knew what the fuck was Shadow doing, and was just seeing him watering the flour, then, how could he like it so much? Say it so confidently, with so much honesty on his voice… How?

—Be-ca-use~…—He sung, again, drumming his fingers against Shadows skin, breathing deeply and sighing so contently Shadows own lungs ached. — I get to see you, and everything you are doing. And you are happy.

«…Ah~…? »

As if sensing his confusion, Silver gave an embarrassed grin, and went on in an explication.

— You are soooo happy and relaxed, you look soo calm, elegant, even, and focused in what you are doing! And I like that! I like how I can hug you tightly, and admire how pretty, erm, precise! Your hands move. — As if trying to prove his point, he squeezed Shadow strongly, which stole a small squeak out of the ebony. Silver had fucking lifted him! — I like that one a lot. I like seeing what you are doing a real lot, being close enough so I can-I can…

—Yes?

— Smell it! Or hear it! I really like it all, how calming and neat you make everything look, even if things go wrong or the kitchen gets messy, you just-just…make it work! You are relaxed, and happy, and so am I. —He changed his position just the slightly bit necessary for him to be able to look at Shadows pretty face without losing or wavering his strong grip for one second, waiting for their eyes to connect before smiling widely. He pecked Shadow warm cheek one, two, three…four and five times before just giving up and nuzzling him enthusiastically, hands kneading and chest rumbling with a very low but pleased purr. (Oh, how much did he love to do this?!) Silver had gotten that habit from Blaze, kneading with his hands-paw in these kind of situations, though he knew as a hard fact that Shadow did it as well. Why? Well, it was just a mystery! (He had never gotten the courage enough to directly ask his boyfriend from where he picked it up, so he just made up stories on his mind. Still, a mystery. ) — I enjoy it, hearing the knife cutting the dried fruit, how your fingers rub the flour and your knuckles tap the bowl, the bubbling when you boil something, the cling of the plates and glass, your laugh or humming… I love it. I love seeing it, I love hearing it, I love…Jeez, even smelling it once it is out of the oven, and how the vanilla, cinnamon or mint or whatever smell will cling into you and follow into our bed. Can you believe the cravings or the weird dreams I´ve gotten thanks to it? Its-Its nuts!

Silver was happy, so freaking happy. He laughed and smiled while talking, always looking straight at Shadow and touching him here, and here, and there and just… couldn’t stay quiet. (How could he?! Shadows fur was always so soft and they were so close and…there! ) He sounded… passionate, almost. And that was exactly what he wanted. What he honestly felt! He was trying to show his interest in Shadows tastes, be a very Supportive Boyfriend™, and highlight that he actually enjoyed this and wasn’t just faking it nor seeing it as an obligation. He wanted to connect with both of his boyfriends, show that he paid attention to them, and that their likes were a very important thing to him. He wanted to be there for them and keep them happy for as long as he could.

Shadow couldn’t hold his snickers anymore at that last line, looking away and basically hiding his smile on his shoulder, which almost made Silver whine in protest. Because, Shadow, Why? His heart was beating quickly, Silver could feel it under his hands, and his cheeks were clearly flushed, even if it wasn’t that strong. It was an almost bashful look what he had, and during Silvers confession, his ears and hell, even his tail, had perked up and twitched occasionally, the last one grinding lazily against Silvers body every so. It was…perfect. So cute, like, Silver couldn’t even.

He must have two of the cutest, and prettier, and sexier boyfriends in the whole past.

—I love holding you, also, just like this… I love you~… I just love you a big lot.

—Oh my chaos, will you ever stop? —Shadow grumbled, cutting Silver rather abruptly and taking him by surprise. — What is this, any kind of thesis? Cut it already, you sap.

Silver found himself gaping for a second, completely dumbfounded. Shadows words stung for a few seconds, and had him blinking and lowering his ears. He snorted then, beaming once again and hugging him tighter than before, hearing more clearly that very low “Mmmmmmmmhhhhhh” long sound. — O-Oh man, I really embarrassed you with that one, Did I not?

Shadow ears were the ones lowering this time.

—Was it…that obvious? —He questioned quietly, and Silver only response was more laughs which only deepened (And wasn’t that a feat!) Shadows blush. Another shower of small kisses peppered all over the ebony face was what followed, as well as a little tease.

—Oh dear, you got as red as a tomato. —Silver snorted, holding Shadow firmly so he couldn’t shy away from his grasp and kisses. He was currently turning his head and pushing slightly with his own body, lifting his shoulders and curling in a poorly made attempt to protect himself. Hands covered in thick gloves and that funny smelling thing laid unmoving in the crystal bowl, twitching with laughter and repressed need to shove. — Stay quiet! C’mon Shadow, let me love you! Accept my love~!

Silver kept giggling and doing obnoxious kissing sounds as he left “loving smooches” and tickling touches on every bit of Shadow he could reach, ignoring how he kept muttering continuous demands for him to stop.

Because, yes, Shadow wasn’t pleading nor begging, and he certainly wasn’t laughing with his boyfriend; No. he was firmly demanding him to leave him alone and to fucking stop tickling him. It was just that he was being ignored and. Well. Maybe he wasn’t fighting that hardly... Shadow was going to find a way to send his retribution to Silver in the moment the younger expected it the least, either way.

[He is in denial don’t believe him, LMAO.]

It must… it must have been planned beforehand. Shadow couldn’t push Silver away without making a mess that then he was going to have to clean, not to mention the additional problem of washing Silvers furs clean of flour, nor could he move brusquely without damaging the bowl. It was… it was…

«Oh my chaos why do you do this to meeeeeeeeeeee! » He whined while mentally squirming. «This is so fucking unfair. Why? WHY? Oh hell don’t touch there! I hate this. I freaking hate this. Oh, but WHY you can touch me but I can’t? That is not the point. FUCK! »

—You really are ticklish here, uh? I can say you want to laugh. Why don’t you? C´mon, give me a smile!

—I’m going to give you a kick, how does that sounds?! — Shadow managed to squeeze out a threat that was met only with more laughs.

«And this, you mother fucker, is why we can’t want nice things. There is an actual risk of them becoming true, and then we will fucking panic because we don’t know that to do. Did you want kisses? There are your cursed kisses, you whiny! And you can’t kiss back nor pet or…or… Fuck this shit. »

Shadows dignity funeral was going to be in three days. There wasn’t much to bury anymore, but still, it was a nice touch to have. It had lasted as long as it had been able to… Poor thing. It gave its best.

—But Shadoooooow. — Silver whined teasingly. That little shit. He really is spending too much time around Sonic. —I really like your smile. I want to see you. Please? Smile for me, just a bit! Or else… Mh…I’m going to tickle you seriously this time! No more kisses play for you!

Yas.

Too much of a bad influence.

He huffed, looking down at his hands with a frown. — I was doing something, you know?

—I knoow, but, Shadow, Just a little smile won’t take long. Pretty please~?

Sighing in a defeated manner, the flushed ebony looked at his right, meeting gaze with Silver who sported, as well, a very clear and rather strong blush that could challenge Shadows own.  

—Hello there~ — Silver sung, almost in a chirping way that never failed in making Shadow woozy. Goddamn it. He really was awful at this shit. He gently, almost by reflex, lifted his head just a tad trying to make it not that noticeable, and glared. Because fuck you.  

Silver was expecting this, though, and couldn’t help but beaming wider. The thing was, that once you knew what to look for it sometimes was very easy to read Shadows corporal language! This one? It was Shadows non-spoken signal of “Fuck, I want to kiss you bad but hell if I will.” His ears shifted softly in Silvers direction, as if paying close attention. He would look straight at his eyes, never at his lips, like if he were assessing something. (Maybe he was, though.) The tension on his shoulders, that seemed to relax then tense up once again, the tiny quiver on his bottom lip, how he would delicately bite them, and lift his chin, as if saying “Look at them!”

It was so subtle, so quick and small you actually missed it most of the time, or hell, just took it as him being bratty or acting in defiance. But Silver was paying close attention. And so, he cupped Shadows cheek, rubbing with his thumb his cheekbone in a loving manner and tilting his head upwards a bit more before diving in for a kiss that Shadow gladly gave.

[howtohero]

#299 The Resistance

Ultiman hovered three inches off of the floor. It was a nervous habit of his, which had the added benefit of making anybody near him feel just as nervous as he did. People tended to fear floating men. Especially floating men who could shoot beams from their eyes and snap tanks in half over their knees. So Ultiman tried to stay on the ground as much as possible. People liked a grounded hero. For the moment though he was alone, and so he allowed himself to hover, just a bit. He was nervous, how could he not be. The world had been taken over by supervillains, and it may as well have been his fault.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he muttered to himself, another nervous habit of his. 

“There was nothing you could have done, so you left. You knew whomever was left would need a leader and so you retreated. It was the smart move. It was the only move,” he said forcefully trying to convince himself. It didn’t work, and not for the first time, he was thankful that the only person he seemed to have to convince was himself. The other heroes, those who had managed to escape the supervillain attacks across the world and the eruption of hellfire outside of How To Hero headquarters had been thankful to see him. They’d been happy he’d run away when he did. The heroes who had been captured, Cowboy Rockstar, Cannonballer: Baller of Cannons, and so many others, might have a different opinion though. But he’d done what he’d done, made the choices he’d made, and hopefully history would vindicate them. Hopefully he’d actually be able to lead the ragtag Resistance that had formed to save the world. Hopefully he was up for it. 

Ultiman looked around the room he was in, if only to take his mind off of the challenges that lay ahead of him. He was in the Haberdashery, one of the many satellite hideouts Hatman maintained in cities with large superhuman presences. Specifically, he was in a room called the Hall of Hats. The room’s walls were covered with hooks and on those hooks were dozens of hats that were, ostensibly, worthy of being enshrined in a hall. Ultiman floated over to one of them, a cowboy hat made out of black velvet with the name “Winston” glued onto it in silver sequins. Ultiman looked below it and read the description: “‘Hat worn by Winston Churchill at his stag party’ There’s no way that’s true.”  

“You calling me a liar?”

Ultiman quickly landed and spun around.

“Hatman, I didn’t hear you come in.”

The other man frowned and folded his arms across the yellow tophat insignia that was emblazoned onto his chest, “As pleased as I am that I managed to sneak up on you, you seem distracted.”

“Can you blame me?”

“I suppose not, they’re all in the other room. Waiting for you.”

“Waiting to hear my big plan.”

“Waiting for you. You’re the symbol U. The platonic ideal of superheroism. The-”

“Don’t say it.”

“The ultimate man. I get that you’re nervous, a supervillain takeover of this magnitude has never had so much success. Smuggles has somehow managed to do what nobody else has ever been able to. He’s taken the entire world by surprise. We’re scattered, most of our people are captured or missing. He’s put the heroes on defensive. He’s managed to unite every supervillain in the world. He’s managed to ally himself with the forces of Hell.” 

“You sound like you’re impressed.”

“By all measures it’s very impressive stuff.”

Ultiman smirked, “Maybe we’ll be able to get you one of his hats.”

Hatman looked him dead in the eye, “I would love that.”

Ultiman laughed for the first time since he’d flown away from How to Hero Headquarters. It felt good. It felt unearned. 

Hatman didn’t even crack a smile, “Shall we go in there?”

“I’ll meet you out there in a second.”

Hatman shrugged and then left him.

“All right Ultiman, game time. Show time. Give them the Ultiman they’re expecting. Give them the symbol.”

With a deep breath, he walked out of the Hall of Hats and into a large dining room. Why one would need a large dining room in their hideout Ultiman wasn’t sure, but he took his place at the head of the ornate table in the center of the room anyhow. He quickly scanned the room. He recognized several of the heroes sitting around the table and nodded at them. To his right was Professor Paleontologist who smiled at him reassuringly. There were other heroes, heroes he was ashamed to say he didn’t recognize scattered around the room, along with a few support-team types. Gael, director of G.U.Y. I.N. T.H.E. C.H.A.I.R. was there, scrolling on his smartphone, absorbing information like a sponge. Two of the How To Hero guys were there too, Ultiman didn’t know their real names but he recalled they went by Parenthetical Guy and Curly. Parenthetical Guy was trying to squeeze a collapsible lawn chair in between ‘Earo and Super-Sonic-Plasma-Ultra-Cannon Man at the conference table. 

(“Why do you even need to sit at the big table, you have super hearing, you could be on the moon and you’d still be able to hear!”)

Curly was standing in the corner chatting Hatman’s ear off as the hero tried to sink into the shadows, as was his custom at large meetings, even those held in his own hideout.

Ultiman smiled wryly and clapped his hands together, taking care not to accidentally create a sonic boom with the force of it. Instantly everybody stopped talking and every head in the room turned towards him, with the exception of Gael whose eyes were still glued to his phone.

“I think it’s time we began,” Ultiman said, double checking that his feet were on the ground. 

“I won’t lie to you, we’re in trouble,” Ultiman started simply. “Big trouble, unprecedented trouble. But that’s just a day in the life right?”

There were a few scattered chuckles.

“What’s important to remember though, is that this is not insurmountable trouble. We’re down but we’re not out. In this room I see a few dozen people who want to make a change and believe they can do so. A few dozen people who still have hope. And hope is a powerful thing. It might be the greatest power we have right now. As we speak Smuggles and his Crime Consortium are sitting pretty in How To Hero headquarters. Hundreds of our comrades are languishing who knows where. World leaders are missing. Military bases have been taken over by armies of the damned. The rest of the galaxy waits on bated breath to see if Earth’s heroes are up to snuff. To see if we have what it takes to put the world back together again. It won’t be easy, but none of us would be here, none of us would do this job, if we cared about easy. I don’t know about the rest of you, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had easy and I’m still here. I’m still standing. And so are the rest of you. So let’s show Smuggles and the Fish Whisperer, and Marconi and the Skeleton King and-”

“And Zeus,” Gael chirped from his seat.

“And what?”

“Zeus, lord of the skies, king of the Greek gods. He’s just endorsed Smuggles. Apparently he thinks it’s hilarious that Greg the Skeleton King has deposed the rest of the rulers of Hell, his brother, Hades, among them of course.” 

“Ah,” Ultiman said. “Thank you Gael.”

He took a moment to recompose himself, “And Zeus too then. Add him to the list of people we’ll have to fight to save the Earth. That’s fine. Who cares. We’re heroes, and saving the world is what we do.”

“Hear hear!”

“Let’s show them what we’re made of!”

(“I’m telling you, I’m important I should really be at the table for this. What if someone takes a picture of this historic moment. People are going to think its weird if I’m not in the picture.”)

Ultiman held up his hand and the chatter stopped. “Now, before we can take the fight to the villains there are a few things we need to take care of. Hatma- Where’s Hatman?”

{“He left.”}

“He left? What do you mean he left?”

{“Like out the door.”}

“While I was speaking? While I was speaking just now? But that’s so rude. Wow.”

{“I know. So rude!”}

Ultiman shook his head, “Whatever, do you mind going after him?”

{“You got it chief! I’ll just go put on my costume.”}

Ultiman tilted his head, “I don’t think that’s necessary. I just need you to step outside and grab him for a minute.”

Curly was already gone. 

“All right then. Hatman knows what to do I’m sure.”

(“What if I just sat on your lap? Come on, you’re a cyborg, you won’t even feel it.”)

Ultiman turned to Professor Paleontologist, “Professor, as you can see we’re a little light-handed. While it’s possible we’re all that’s left of Earth’s defenders I’m inclined to believe, to hope, that there are others out there. Why don’t you see if you can gather some allies for us.”

Professor Paleontologist, “It would be my pleasure sir. I believe I know just where to look.”

“Excellent, and why don’t you take him with you,” Ultiman said pointing to Parenthetical Guy, who was now talking to the superhero Yellowjacket. 

(“Come on, there’s literally no way you deserve a seat at this table more than me, at least just scoot down a little bit.”)

Professor Paleontologist tugged at his collar, “Well, sir, I don’t know if that’s the best idea. I’m happy to take somebody else if you want me to go with a partner.”

“Parenthetical Guy!” Ultiman shouted drawing the gangly man’s attention.

(“Yo what’s up big guy?”)

“I’ve got a mission for you, go with Professor Paleontologist. He’ll explain it.”

(“Aw man, Professor Paleontologist? Do I gotta?”)

“Yes.”

(“All right, fine. Let’s go PP, I’m not getting any younger.”)

Professor Paleontologist rolled his eyes but joined Parenthetical Guy by the door. Ultiman heard a collective sigh of relief when they left the room.

Ultiman took stock of who was left. His two biggest names had just left, and all that remained now were the second-stringers and the also rans, but that didn’t matter. Ultiman meant what he said before, he believed that the motley crew in front of him could mean the difference for humanity. And a leader is nothing if they don’t believe in their troops.

“Now,” Ultiman said. “Let’s talk strategy.”

                                                            ***

“So, Ultiman says we need allies. Luckily I have a colleague in-”

(“Blah blah blah. Trust me, when Ultiman asked us to gather super cool allies to help us take back the world I’m sure he didn’t mean any colleagues of yours.”)

Professor Paleontologist arched an eyebrow, “I suppose you have someone in mind?”

(“As a matter of fact I do!”) Parenthesis Guy shouted, pulling out his cellphone.

“I wasn’t aware you had superpowered associates,” Professor Paleontologist said. “Or associates at all outside your merry band of bloggers.”

(“What was that a joke? I didn’t think they had jokes in the Paleozoic Era.”)

“Actually, there were no dinosaurs in the Paleo-”

(“Oh my god I’m not doing this right now.”)

Professor Paleontologist rolled his eyes, he’d been superheroing for a long time. Longer than Ultiman or Hatman or Cowboy Rockstar or many of the other big named heroes, and yet still this is what he was reduced to. A glorified babysitter for a hyperactive manchild. Of course, he knew what he was doing was important; as it stood, the Resistance didn’t quite have the manpower that would be necessary to take back the world. Yet he still couldn’t help but feel a little bit insulted. Even Smuggles’ Consortium of Crime hadn’t even bothered to attack to him when the villains took over. The villain Professor Paleontologist had been working with, Chives, a 50-foot tall vampire stegosaurus, had simply grabbed the other hero on their team, the robot warrior BiteLock and ran off, leaving Professor Paleontologist alone. When even the villains who are in the process of taking over the world don’t want anything to do with you, well, that says something doesn’t it?

“We do this to help people, not to be recognized,” Professor Paleontologist muttered to himself.

(“What was that?”) Parenthetical Guy said.

“Nothing. You said you had some leads?”

(“As a matter of fact I do!”) Parenthetical Guy declared and then held up his phone to Professor Paleontologist.

“Ethynda Goodwitch?” Professor Paleontologist read.

(“Our very own local village mystic!”) Parenthetical Guy exclaimed. (“She can use all her cool magic and witchcraft to send Smuggles straight to hell or whatever.”)

“Smuggles is allied with Hell, remember? And correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Ethynda hate you and everyone else from How To Hero? I can’t imagine she’d offer up her services if literally the most obnoxious one of you showed up at her door.”

(“Gosh I don’t even have the time to tell you everything that was wrong with that.”)

“Great! So why don’t we-”

(“First of all-”)

“Oh.”

(“Smuggles is allied with one of the lords of Hell, and I’m sure in doing so he’s managed to alienate a fair few other ones. Secondly, Ethynda used to hate How To Hero, on account of the fact that we recommended that every would be superhero in a 100 mile radius try blackmailing her into giving her powers in our very first post.”)

“Yes you lot made a rather strong impression on the magic community at large that day.”

(“But I have to imagine she doesn’t hate us all that much seeing as she has never, not even once, rained magical destruction and chaos down upon us. Like I’ll admit she was one of my top suspects for the whole anonymous bombing thing last year, but now that we know that was Smuggles I’m more sure than ever that she and I are actually really great friends and she’s a big fan of our blog.”)

“Blackmail notwithstanding I imagine.”

(“Blackmail definitelywithstanding Professor!”)

“Very well, how do we find this-”

(“Thirdly I am far from the most obnoxious How To Hero member. That’s definitely Curly 

or maybe Dr. Brainwave’s Greatest Shame a giant monster who eats people, which is pretty obnoxious.”)

“Are you done yet?”

(“Fourthly, Ethynda doesn’t even have a door, she lives in a cave on a mountain.”)

Professor Paleontologist folded his arms and waited patiently.

(“Oh, I’m done now.”)

“Excellent. Now, how do we get to this magical mountain cave?”

(“We’ll take the teleporter, good thing Half-Face McGee was captured right? There’s no

way he’d let us use that thing.”)

Professor Paleontologist rolled his eyes. “Ok, so where did you leave your teleport pad?”

(“Oh, we’ve been standing on it this whole time,”) and with that, he pulled out a remote control from his pocket and clicked a button. 

                                                             ***

Hatman pressed up against  the alley wall as a trio of supervillains strolled past. Another patrol, Smuggles must have noticed that a few heroes had escaped him and had sent out his villainous lackeys to find and capture any superheroic stragglers. The only people he’d seen so far had been villains. No civilians, the people of Clifftown must have all been hiding out in their homes. No heroes either, which didn’t fill Hatman with confidence. He had hoped to find others out here, but it seemed like the skeleton crew hiding out in the Haberdashery was everybody that was left. No matter, he’d faced down worse odds. Hatman checked the secure communicator in his gizmo-packed gauntlet. Still no messages. That was probably a bad sign. When Smuggles had launched his take over, and the villains had all simultaneously betrayed and subdued the heroes they were working with, Hatman had been in the middle of a frozen bay with the villain Friar Frostbite. Even Hatman wasn’t above admitting that the situation had been dire. Friar Frostbite had the element of surprise, a cryo-gun, and a distinct home field advantage. According to some, it was only the timely arrival of Hurricane Hank, and Hatman’s bitterest non-supervillain rival, Glassesman, fresh from dispelling a sharknado, that allowed Hatman to prevail over his bitterest supervillain rival. According to Hatman, he would’ve been fine either way. After all, he’d fitted his gauntlets with superheaters specifically to deprive Friar Frostbite of any icy cold advantages he might possess. Still, the extra hands certainly allowed for things to be taken care of more quickly and within seconds Friar Frostbite was down for the count. Which presented Hatman with an incredible opportunity. Aboard Glassesman’s aviator-goggles shaped cargo plane, the trio of heroes had stripped Friar Frostbite of his costume, which helpfully included an insulated ski-mask, and his weaponry. Glassesman then assumed Friar Frostbite’s identity and flew his plane back to How To Hero headquarters, which had, by that point, become the seat of Smuggles’s power, while Hurricane Hank flew Hatman and Friar Frostbite to the Haberdashery. Since then, Glassesman had been providing Hatman with information over a secure network. Troop movements, supplies inventory, a roster of Smuggles’s known associates. Valuable information that the Resistance could use to topple Smuggles’s regime. And information that was specifically useful for Hatman, who had taken it upon himself to sabotage as many of Smuggles’s operations while Ultiman and the others developed a plan of attack. But the messages had stopped. Which probably meant that Glassesman had been found out. 

Typical Glassesman, Hatman thought as he removed the gauntlet and tossed it in a dumpster, it was a tremendous waste of resources, but he couldn’t risk Smuggles’s people figuring out how to trace the messages Glassesman had been sending back to him. He’d be sure to send Glassesman a bill for all of the exorbitantly expensive proprietary super-tech the gauntlet possessed. That guy can’t do anything right.

{“Whatcha doin?”}

In one swift movement, Hatman unclipped a pocket on his utility belt, pulled the miniature top hat out of it and spun around on his heel, the tophat growing to full size as he did so.

{“Whoa whoa! It’s just me, Curly! Don’t point your… shrinking top hat? At me”} Curly shouted, waving his empty hands in front of him.

The short, round, goateed man was sitting upon a dumpster, dangling his legs over the edge. 

Hatman narrowed his eyes and returned the tophat to his belt. Curly watched as it shrunk to fit back in its tiny compartment.

“It’s a magical top hat, it was a gift from a wizard.”

{“Do bunnies come out of it?”}

“Among other things. What are you doing here?”

{“Ultiman sent me after you, you left the meeting kind of abruptly.”}

“I didn’t see any need to remain there. I could be of better use to the Resistance out here on the streets.”

{“Well what are you doing out here that’s so important?”}

“Sabotage.”

{“Sabotage?”}

“Yes, it’s the most important thing in a time like this. Let Ultiman plan his full frontal assaults and face to face confrontations. I’ll happily take control of the more shadowy parts of this resistance.”

{“Ooh shadowy stuff. Count me in.”}

“No.”

{“Aw come on!”}

“I work alone.”

{“388 different Hatboys beg to differ.”}

“You make a point.”

{“Also, like, we’ve already worked together. I was a Hatboy at one point remember?”}

“What?”

{“That’s how I snuck up on you just now. You trained me. I was Hatboy #283.”}

Hatman just shrugged, “I’m sure you understand that I can’t possibly remember every Hatboy that has worked under me. My thoughts are better occupied by coming up with new ways to fight crime and new designs for hat-themed vehicles.”

Curly frowned, {“You seriously don’t remember when we worked together?”}

“You’re seriously still talking about that? If you want to help that’s fine, but come on we’ve got work to do.” 

{“What kind of work?”}

Beneath the reflective lenses in his top hat shaped cowl, Hatman rolled his eyes. This Curly wasn’t the type he usually worked with. He asked a few too many questions. Hatman knew what he needed to do. He needed to inspire. Awe, respect, maybe even some fear, he’d have to see how the night went. In pursuit of this Hatman struck his most imposing and superheroic pose. He looked off into the distance, a look of steely resolve taking over his chiseled features. He put his hands on his hips and lowered his voice an octave.

“We,” he paused here, an age old trick to make civilians and sidekicks hang on your every word. “Need to steal a truck.” 

A moment of silence passed between the duo and Hatman was sure Curly would follow his lead unquestionably from now on. These wannabe heroes were always so easy to manipulate.

{“Oh you’re done. So is that just any truck or…”}

Hatman was jolted from his self-indulgent reverie. Apparently it would take more than dynamic posing and vague statements to bring this one in line. 

“No! A specific truck. If we just steal any truck that makes us no better than these repulsive villains.”

{“It’s just that all you said was the word ‘truck’ and then you just stopped talking like I was supposed to understand what you meant. You should really try incorporating specific articles into your speech like ‘we need to steal that truck’ or ‘we need to steal the truck that drives by this alleyway every Thursday at 2:30 pm’ or ‘we need to steal the truck that drives down my block every night making a whole lot of noise even though there are signs specifically prohibiting such trucks from driving down my purely residential block.’”}

Hatman sighed.

“Supply trucks drive through Clifftown every day carrying everything from valuables to essentials to How to Hero headquarters. We need to intercept and hijack one of them.”

Curly hopped off of the dumpster and smacked Hatman on the back.

{“See! Was that all that hard? So where do we find one of these trucks?”}

“According to my observations, one should be rolling by this alley in ten minutes.”

{“Great! So what do we need to do?”}

“We need to steal it.”

{“You can’t think that’s what I meant.”}

“I’ve learned never to overestimate the intelligence of a prospective Hatboy.”

{“Prospective? I literally was Hatboy! I’m one of the few surviving ones! I’m wearing the utility belt you gave me right now!”}

“You’re wearing a belt? Perfect. Tell me, do you know how to drive a truck?”

{“I’m legally not allowed to drive one but I guess?”}

Hatman checked the time readout on his remaining gauntlet.

“That’ll have to do,” he said as extracted a grappling hook from his own belt and looped the hook around Curly’s belt.

{“What’s happening right now.”}

“Like I said,” Hatman said as he ran to the entrance of the alleyway. “We’re going to steal a truck.”

                                                            ***

In a flash of light Professor Paleontologist and Parenthetical Guy appeared in front of a gaping cave. Parenthetical Guy quickly turned around and emptied the contents of his stomach.

(“Gosh, every time,”) he said, wheezing.

“I’m sure throwing up on her doorstep will ingratiate you with Ethynda even more,” Professor Paleontologist said as he stepped off of the teleport pad and examined the entrance of the cave. “So do we just walk right in or?”

Suddenly, two large rocks at the entrance of the cave shuddered and started to roll towards our two heroes. 

(“Have you ever visited a magical lair before?”) Parenthetical Guy said as he brushed off his pants and held up his fists. (“First you have to fight off the magical guardians and then you just walk right in.”)

Professor Paleontologist instinctively reached for the bright red amulet that hung over his chest. The boulders had now sprouted limbs and Professor Paleontologist didn’t think their four fists would be quite enough to overpower them. 

“Well I wish you would’ve mentioned that before we teleported here,” Professor Paleontologist said. 

(“Yeah well I wish that Rockblock were here so he could reason with these rock monsters. Or maybe seduce them or something. Side salad, do you think Rockblock is considered attractive? Like by golem standards I mean.”)

Professor Paleontologist didn’t answer. He was clutching his amulet now and, mentally, reaching backwards in time. The magical amulet had been gifted to him by a council of ghostly dinosaurs nearly two decades ago, and it allowed him to draw dinosaurs from the far flung past into the present so that he could use their unique gifts and abilities to fight the forces of evil. It was a tremendous honor and responsibility to wield such a powerful weapon and it was one that the Professor took very seriously. He had studied up on time travel and chaos theory and he was well aware of the incalculable ill effects that could result from wonton time travel, and so he very rarely used his incredible powers to their fullest extent. Instead he used his amulet primarily to confer with the great spirits that had gifted it to him in the first place. In essence, whenever he was struck with an especially difficult problem he gave himself a moment to consider, and ask, what would a dinosaur do. In this moment several of the departed dinos were snarling at him to either sacrifice his puking partner, or bring in some real firepower. One though, a ghosty compsognathus, presented him with a different, somewhat more elegant solution. The compsognathus, made famous by the blockbuster hit, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, were tiny dinosaurs, no larger than the modern day chicken, and not the freakishly huge ones that have set up camp in the Grand Canyon in recent years, regular chickens. They didn’t have the bite or size of other dinosaurs, but they learned how to use their small stature to their advantage. The compy told Professor Paleontologist what it would do in this situation, and the Professor thanked it, and all the other spirits, before releasing his hold on his amulet.

All of this occurred in a fraction of a second. 

(“Like, let’s say Rockblock had the normal amount of arms and everything and had like, skin, he’d be undeniably attractive then right? I feel like that’s not really up for debate. So I guess what I’m really asking is if golems find the same qualities attractive that humans do. Does that make se-”)

“Get the left one’s attention and then follow me,” Professor Paleontologist said, finally cutting Parenthetical Guy off, much to the rock monsters’, and Parenthetical Guy’s, great relief.

(“Get the attention of the hulking rock monster that is already fully focused on destroying us? You got it, but only because I think it’s a terrible idea and want my death to haunt your conscience for the rest of your stupid life.”) 

Parenthetical Guy scooped some pebbles off of the ground and held them aloft towards the rock monster was bearing down on him. (“Watch your step big boy, or these pebbles get it!”)

The rock monster snorted and lifted up its giant fist. 

(“Ok that didn’t work,”) Parenthetical guy blinked and then tossed the handful of pebbles at the rock monster and began running in the opposite direction. 

“Follow me!” Professor Paleontologist shouted as he began running directly towards the other rock monster.

(“This is actually the worst plan!”) Parenthetical Guy complained as he dutifully followed. 

Professor Paleontologist led his hapless partner and the towering mountainous man that followed him towards the other rock monster who slowly raised its own fists and howled in rage, seemingly more at the Professor’s audacity that anything else. As the two interlopers neared the howling golem Professor Paleontologist shouted, “Slide!” and then collapsed into a flawless baseball player’s third base slide, deftly maneuvering right between the angry monster’s legs. Once he was through the monster’s legs, he quickly popped back up onto his feet and took off running towards the cave’s entrance, stopping just long enough to make sure Parenthetical Guy had made it through as well before the monster had punched a crater into the Earth. He had, but not nearly as gracefully and Professor Paleontologist saw him spitting rocks out of his mouth that he had accidentally ingested when he dove and face planted into the ground. 

“Keep moving!” Professor Paleontologist shouted, “We need to make sure we’re clear!”

(“Clear of what?”) Parenthetical Man shouted indignantly before he was flung off his feet 

again by a tremendous boom. The two rock monsters had collided sending a shower of smaller stones hurtling in every direction. 

Professor Paleontologist grabbed Parenthetical Guy and wrenched him clear from any of the larger rock chunks. 

(“That was your plan?”) 

“It worked didn’t it?” 

As it would turn out, Professor Paleontologist’s plan had not worked. Rather than destroying both rock monsters, their speedy collision had actually caused the monsters to merge somewhat. Now instead of fighting two rock monsters, they were facing a royally ticked off two-headed rock monster. It was a little bit better, but not much. 

“Oh this is bad,” Professor Paleontologist said dejectedly as he reached for his amulet once more.

(“Oh this is perfect!”) Parenthetical Guy said as he reached for his remote control, and Professor Paleontologist was surprised not to hear even an ounce of sarcasm in his voice.

Parenthetical Guy winked at the professor and then pointed his remote control at the giant two-headed monstrous monolith. In a flash it, and the teleport pad it had inadvertently landed on following its amalgamation, disappeared. Professor Paleontologist blinked wordlessly.

(“Handled!”) Parenthetical Guy shouted, pumping his fist in the air.

“I- I guess you did, wow.”

(“No need to thank me Prof, I’m just doing what heroes and vitally important resistance fighters do.”)

“Where did you send it?” 

(“The moon, they’ll be fine. Rock monsters don’t need to breathe. Don’t worry about climbing down this ridiculously high mountain, Ethynda will just teleport us back to headquarters once she agrees to join us.”)

“Well, I guess we should go in then.”

Parenthetical Guy smiled widely and then walked into the cave. Or, rather, he walked in the magical force field that protected the cave’s entrance.

(“Oh come on Ethynda! We fought your guardians, I think we at least deserve a conversation!”)

“Deserve?” a shrill voice cackled from within the cave. “The only thing you deserve is a swift kick in the behind as far as I’m concerned.”

Professor Paleontologist braced himself for another fight as he watched a young woman in a bright green tracksuit walk out of the cave, a black cat followed her, eyeing the two intruders through slitted yellow eyes. Or, Professor Paleontologist could have sworn, eyeing his amulet in particular. 

(“Ethynda! Darling! How have you been?”) Parenthetical Guy held his arms open, as though he expected the witch to give him a hug.

Ethynda waved him off. 

“You! How dare you show your parenthetical personage at my sanctum. I have half a mind to strike you down where you stand right now,” Ethynda’s eyes started to glow an unnatural green and her clenched fists burst into green flames.

Professor Paleontologist didn’t like the sound of that, but, to everybody’s consternation Parenthetical Guy didn’t seem all that concerned. 

(“Ethy! You slay me-”)

“I’m about to.”

(“No need! Love your energy though. Love the spunk. Sublime spunk, wouldn’t you say so Prof?”)

Professor Paleontologist gave him a sidelong glance and then held up his hands as if to say “please do not involve me in whatever it is that you’re doing you fast talking imbecile.”

(“Now, Ethy, hows about you channel that sublime rage against a smuggler and a man who whispers to fish? I really do feel like that would be a far better use of your time. Don’t you?”)

Ethynda’s eyes reverted to their normal color and the flames around her hands dissipated. Professor Paleontologist let out a breath he’d been holding but kept his hands near his amulet.

“You’ve come to me for… help?” 

(“Why of course! You’re only one of my dearest friends! And the world’s in trouble. We can use a powerful and magnificent witch such as yourself. Plus, the other side’s got a bunch of damned souls that I’m sure you could steal?”)

Ethynda sighed and put her hands on her hips.

“I suppose you two may as well come inside. I don’t need you superhero types drawing any more attention to me than you already have.”

She turned and walked back into her cave and Professor Paleontologist and Parenthetical Guy warily followed her. The inside of the cave was not at all what Professor Paleontologist had expected. He’d been inside a few magical lairs in his day, and most of them were filled with ancient and powerful artifacts, the walls were usually adorned with mantras or wards or the occasional shelf filled with pickled eyeballs, paws, tails, dreams, and other common potion ingredients. This cave, however, was empty, and Professor Paleontologist found that especially worrying.

“Where is everything?” he asked.

Ethynda raised an eyebrow, “Everything?”

“I’ve heard about you Ethynda, you’re a powerful sorceress, and you keep to yourself. I don’t imagine you spend all of your time sitting alone in an empty cave. So I ask again, where is everything? Where are all the charms and idols and amulets and icons and-”

(“Thingamabobs and whosits and whatsits.”)

Ethynda rolled her eyes.

“I’m moving.”

“Moving?”

“Moving, leaving, whatever. The world’s gone to hell and trust me, I’d know, I’ve been. You and your super pals lost. Big time. And we don’t intend to hang around for the blowback.”

(“We?”)

“What do you mean you’re leaving? You have the power to help us set things right? Where are you even going?”

(“What do you mean we?”)

“Me and every other magic user I know. We’re not interested in litigating the squabbles of you cape and mask and fisticuff types. This is not our war and we have no interest in fighting a losing battle. So we’re exiting this plane of existence.”

(“You’re going to the Magirealm.”)

“Naturally.”

“The Magirealm? You think you’ll be safe there?” Professor Paleontologist shouted, waving his arms wildly and freely. After all, there was nothing of value he might accidentally knock over anyway.

“I guarantee you we’ll be a lot safer there than we will be here. Besides, what on Gaea would make you think that I’d be interested in joining your little team?”

(“Why Ethynda, we’re friends aren’t we?”)

“Absolutely not, what would make you think that?”

(“Well, I’m not dead.”)

“And?”

“That’s actually as far as that line of reasoning goes,” Professor Paleontologist said, feeling deflated.

“Do you know how many halfwits and sociopaths tried to blackmail me into giving them powers after your stupid blog advised them to? You’ve caused me no shortage of problems, we’re certainly not friends. Now as far as me not killing you goes, what kind of person do you take me for? I don’t just murder anybody who insults me on the internet.”

(“Aw are you still sour about that? We just wrote that post about magical vehicles for you, I thought that made things even.”)

“Sure, fine, we’re even. You can find your own way out right? There’s just the one entrance,” Ethynda said as she turned away from Professor Paleontologist and Parenthetical Guy.

(“Are you telling me that you’re ok with supervillains taking over the world?”) Parenthetical Guy shouted drawing a sharp glance from Ethynda’s cat.

“The petty disputes of superheroes and supervillains are of little concern to the magical community. We are more than content to wait this crisis out in the Magirealm.”

(“What a bunch of cowards you are! All that abra kadabra power and you just vacate this plane of existence until we save the world from Smuggles and Chuck and… Oh, is that what this is? Are you afraid of who they’re working with? Is this about Greg the Skeleton King?”)

Ethynda whipped around and grabbed Parenthetical Guy by the collar of his shirt.

“The forces of Hell are not to be trifled with. You’d do well to flee as well.” 

(“Oh please. His name is Greg, we can take him.”)

Ethynda threw him against the wall and Professor Paleontologist ran over to him.

“I’ll ask you one more time to leave my home before I force you out.”

“Are you ok?” Professor Paleontologist asked, helping Parenthetical Guy to his feet.

(“Wait! Wait, ok, you won’t help us fight. That’s fine. That’s your right. Just grant me one wish.”)

“No.”

(“Come on Ethynda, just get me and my sidekick here into the Cube. Then you can go off and cavort with your magical friends in another dimension.”)

“Ha! That is your wish? Very well then, I’ll transport you into the Cube. But if you think he’s going to help you you’re even dumber than you look.”

Parenthesis Guy dusted off his pants and smirked, (“I get that a lot thanks.”)

“Wait a minute, the Cube, as in-”

“Leave,” Ethynda said as her eyes began glowing green and she snapped her fingers.

                                                            ***

Hatman reached the entrance of the alley just as a large cargo truck drove by. The words “All hail King Smuggles Eternal Ruler of the-” had been hastily spray painted on to the side of it. So hastily in fact, that the last word was just a green blob instead of anything discernable. Curly watched the grapple line extend as Hatman, still gripping his end of the grappling hook, hopped onto the back of the truck and, using magnets in his gauntlet and boots, began climbing around the side of it to the front. At this point the truck’s driver, the supervillain Jhonny McBarnburner, noticed that there was a masked hero crawling across the side of his truck and started responding accordingly. Jhonny cut the wheel sharply to the right, causing the truck to swerve violently but Hatman clung on. With his free hand he activated a small signal hijacker in his utility belt, giving him full control of the truck’s radio.

“It’s going to take a lot more than that to shake me criminal scum!” Hatman declared over the radio.

“Hey don’t call me scum! You know my name! You stopped me from burning down a barn like a month ago!” Jhonny shouted at his dashboard.

“I can see that you’re talking to me but I can’t hear you with your window rolled up. I’ll assume you’re issuing a full and unequivocal surrender.”

“Full and unequivocal what? The nerve of this guy,” Jhonny Mcbarnburner said as he rolled down the window so the costumed man clinging to the side of his truck could hear his witty jibes and retorts. 

“Is this better? Can you hear me now?” Jhonny asked before receiving a magnetized boot to the face as Hatman hurled himself through the now open cab window. Jhonny Mcbarnburner flew across the cab into the passenger’s side window. Hatman, who was now sitting in the driver’s seat quickly wrapped his grappling gun around the steering wheel and slammed on the gas.

“Ah come on!” Jhonny said as his hand ignited into a small fireball. “The boss isn’t going to like me singing the inside of this truck but I reckon he’d prefer slightly crispy to nothing. I reckon bringing your charred remains in oughta make me mighty popular too.”

“That’s funny,” Hatman said as he threw a miniature plastic fireman’s helmet at Jhonny’s hand. The plastic hat exploded into fire-retardant foam which quickly extinguished Jhonny’s fist. “Bringing you in won’t raise my standing with the Resistance one iota, what does that tell you about how this fight is likely to play out.”

Jhonny screamed as he lunged at Hatman causing him to lose control of the truck. Hatman sighed and pushed Jhonny off of him back into the passenger’s seat. He then pressed the recall button on his grappling gun and, while keeping one hand on the wheel, vacated the driver’s seat himself, joining Jhonny on the passenger’s side.

                                                            ***

Curly had grown bored of waiting in the alley and was now sitting against a grimy wall plucking out a somber tune on the grapple wire that was attached to his belt.

{“What the heck is Hatman doing over there?”} he asked.

All of a sudden he felt the rope go taut.

{“Huh?”}

Then he felt himself moving. 

{“Wait a minuuuuuuhhhh-”}

Curly found himself soaring through the air behind the out of control truck as the grapple line grew shorter and shorter.

{“This is insaaaaaane!”} he shouted as he flew through the still open window on the truck’s driver’s side and slammed into the steering wheel.

“Oh good, you’re here,” Hatman said as he released his own hand from the wheel. “You drive.”

{“What the hell was that!”} Curly shouted as he quickly grabbed the wheel and put his foot on the brake to try to slow the truck down a bit.

“Meet me at the corner of 14th and Tropp, I’ve got a garage there,” Hatman shouted as he wrestled with Jhonny McBarnburner.

{“Meet you?”} Curly asked frantically as he struggled to keep the bounding truck under control as a veritable all out brawl raged on inches away from him.

“Yeah,” Hatman grunted as he grabbed Jhonny McBarnburner with one hand and threw the passenger door open with the other one, causing both hero and villain to tumble out of the speeding truck.

{“Well, all right then. See you there,”} Curly said as he gripped onto the truck’s steering wheel for dear life. Through the rearview mirror he could see Hatman tussling with a fully engulfed in flames Jhonny McBarburner in the middle of the street.

{“You really haven’t changed much my hatted honcho,”} Curly said.

A few minutes later, Curly brought the truck to a stop in front of the garage that Hatman had described to him and was surprised when the door started to rise open to allow the truck in.

Aha! Curly thought. There must be some camera system that has identified me as a former Hatboy so it’s letting me in. At least the system remembers me.

All thoughts of being validated by Hatman’s computer system evaporated when he saw Hatman standing inside the garage next to a tied up Jhonny McBarnburner. 

“Took you long enough,” Hatman said after Curly had pulled the truck in and the door had closed behind him.

{“How in the world did you beat me here!”}

“Oh please,” Hatman said as though the question were absurd. He walked over to the back of the truck, “Now let’s see what we’ve got here.”

As it would turn out, the truck contained all manner of goods that might be of use to an evil world-dominating organization: Weapons, money, magical artifacts, even several jugs of clean water.

“This is the problem,” Hatman said, tapping one of the jugs. “If Smuggles and his crime consortium control everything from weapons to water, they control the populace. We can’t compete with that. If we can’t even drink freely how are we supposed to take on the combined forces of every villain on Earth and every soul that’s ever pledged fealty to the lords of Hell.”

{“Yeah but they only control it, they don’t have it. Not all of it, not yet.”}

“What do you mean?”

{“Smuggles is operating out of our headquarters and let me tell you, the most valuable thing we kept there was a dirty napkin signed by what turned out to be a very convincing Owen Wilson impersonator. If Smuggles wants the world’s resources on hand he’s going to pretty much have to transfer everything. Which means they have to get supply trucks past us.”}

Hatman smiled, “Which gives us the chance to take control of everything before it gets to Smuggles.”

{“Exactly.”}

                                                            ***

“The Cube” as it is called by those who know of its existence, is exactly what it sounds like. It is a cube. Made of a superstrong impenetrable alloy forged from the will of the most powerful flesh-and-blood human being in the universe, The Cube floats alone in a pocket dimension that, due to a few well placed bribes at the International Board of Travel, is totally inaccessible through official channels. But all of the best pocket dimensions are. In reality, The Cube’s pocket dimension is not as wholly separate from the rest of the multiverse as its sole occupant would like to believe. In truth, there are more than a couple of ways in. A few backdoors, so to speak, that arose during the construction of this most isolated of all dimensions. You see, The Cube was not built in an existing remote pocket dimension, it was kludged together from interdimensional debris and detritus that was siphoned off from other pocket realms. One of those other pocket realms was the Magirealm, The Cube’s closest interdimensional neighbor. Not that dimensions really have neighbors, but we’re doing our absolute best to spare you from the brain-shatteringly nonsensical physics that govern these strange realms. Anyhow, since The Cube’s dimension contains fragments of the mystical energies that constitute the Magirealm, it can, theoretically be accessed by a skilled enough magician, though none have ever attempted such a feat. While most mages would agree that travel to The Cube is possible for mystics, all would agree that such a trip would be fruitless at best, and dangerous at worst. There is only one being that calls The Cube its home, and he prefers to issue invitations to his realm at his own leisure. That man is Power Jones, the man with one million powers, and at the moment he is… hosting some kind of time-shattering game show?

“Welcome one and all to another thrilling episode of everybody’s favorite show, ‘Historical Figure Versus an Android Duplicate of Them From The Future’ I’m your host Power Jones!” a pale, floppy-haired man clad in a purple three-piece suit gestured broadly and flashed a dazzling smile at a bulky video camera that rested on a tall tripod. Canned applause and whistling filled the room, emanating from seemingly everywhere and nowhere all at once. Behind him two individuals, one human and one robotic stood at separate lightbulb-bespeckled podiums. A large glowing sign with the gameshow’s name flashed above them. 

“Let’s go meet our contestants, why don’t we?” Power Jones said, flashing one more smile at the camera.

“Yeah!” a disembodied voice shouted.

“Thank you disembodied voice!” Power Jones shouted as he whirled around to face the 

other two people in the room. He strolled over to the human first, resting his elbows on the top of the gaudy podium and cradling his chin on the tops of his hands.

“Please recite your name for the audience, good sir,” Power said.

The man stammered something in Italian causing Power Jones to frown. 

“Right right, other languages, I keep forgetting to account for those don’t I,” he said to himself. “Oh well, an easy fix,” he waved his left hand with a flourish in the man’s direction.

“This place is incredible? And what’s this? English? Fascinating. Pray tell, who are you?”

Power Jones beamed and slapped the other man on the back, “I’m Power Jones, now, for the good people watching at home. Who are you?”

“Oh yes, of course, my name is Leonardo,” he said.

“Leonardo who,” Power Jones prompted.

“Leonardo… from win?” he said.

Power Jones scratched his head and turned to the robotic contestant at the other podium.

“What?”

“Whatever you used to translate my predecessor’s speech seems to have worked a little too well,” the android said. 

“Oh for Pete’s- It’s Leonardo Da Vinci everybody!” Power shouted, eliciting more disembodied cheers and whistles.

“Yeah!” the disembodied voice shouted.

“And I am Leonardo Da Vinci II, an android clone of the famed polymath from the 32nd century,” the robotic contestant said flatly.

“Incredible!” the original Da Vinci said breathlessly as his gaze settled on the android.

“Righto! Now, as always, our first challenge is a cooking one. Using only the contents of my refrigerator you must make me a sandwich. Whomever makes the best one wins!”

The Da Vincis stared at him blankly.

“You um, you do know that I’m not a chef,” the human Da Vinci said.

Power Jones eyes glowed red and his voice dropped a dozen octaves, “Foolish mortal! Power Jones knows all!”

Da Vinci stumbled backward, clutching his chest, “Demon!” 

Power reverted to normal, “Nah, I’m just messing with you Leo. Of course I know that you’re not a chef, if you were a chef this would be way too easy. None of today’s challenges will have anything to do with your many talents or accomplishments, if they did I’m pretty sure the android would kick your butt at the sciences, and you would wipe the floor with him when it comes to the arts. So to keep things fair and balanced you both are going to make me a-” Power Jones trailed off and his purple suit melted into purple chainmail armor. 

“Someone’s coming,” he said gravely.

Suddenly, in a puff of green smoke Parenthetical Guy and Professor Paleontologist appeared in the center of the room.

(“Wow I did not think we were going to make it,”) Parenthetical Guy said as he surveyed the room.

“Then why did you wish for this?” Professor Paleontologist shouted, gobsmacked. “We need to get back to Earth, Ultiman is count-.”

The two interlopers were flung off of their feet into a nearby wall.

(“Ouch,”) Parenthetical Guy said.

Power Jones’s eyes were glowing red again. “Who are you! And why have you dared trespass onto my domain!” he boomed before winking at Da Vinci.

Professor Paleontologist struggled to his feet, “Mr. Jones, please if you just give us a minute-.”

“I didn’t invite any other guests here and I’m clearly in the middle of something so unless the two of you are more Da Vincis I’m going to have to vaporize you or turn you into sandwich ingredients. You have until I decide to answer.”

“We need your help!” Professor Paleontologist shouted.

(“We are indeed more Da Vincis!”) Parenthetical guy shouted at the same time. Things were rapidly getting out of hand and it was clear to him that this was the best way to have a prolonged conversation with Power Jones.

Power Jones smiled widely and his purple chainmail melted into his usual mode of dress, an unbuttoned purple vest over a one-piece black bodysuit. 

“A couple of Da Vincis in need of my help? Why please, go on.”

Professor Paleontologist stammered nervously “I am, uh. Well you see actually…”

Typical Professor Paleontologist, blowing our one chance of being the heroes of the Resistance, I’ll handle this, Parenthetical guy thought to himself.

(“I am Leonidas Da Vinci, a dimension hopping Da Vinci that defends the multiverse and leads the legendary Da Vinci Corps. This is my sidekick. No wait! My personal assistant, Leon Von Iguanada Vinci, he’s really into dinosaurs, but he assures me that it’s not in a weird way or anything.”)

Power Jones turned to the camera, “Isn’t this something! A visit from the famed and legendary Da Vinci Corps!”

“Are you uh, are you broadcasting this?” Professor Paleontologist asked as he finally took a moment to glance around at his surroundings.

“Of course I am! ‘Historical Figure Versus an Android Duplicate of Them From The Future’ is one of the most popular television programs ever!” Power Jones proclaimed.

“Where does it air?” Professor Paleontologist asked.

Power Jones looked at him for a moment and then scratched his chin “You know what? I honestly have no idea,” Power Jones said.

“What is going on!” Leonardo Da Vinci shouted as he and the android joined the talking circle in the middle of the room. 

“Why have I never heard of a Da Vinci corps?” the android Da Vinci asked.

“Yeah!” the disembodied voice shouted.

Professor Paleontologist whipped around “Who said that?”

“Oh, that’s just a disembodied voice that shouts ‘yeah!’ every so often. I’m not entirely sure where it came from. I don’t think one of my powers is to create a disembodied voice that shouts ‘yeah!’ every so often. But truly it can be difficult to keep track.”

(“Well, that’s certainly neat, but to answer my counterpart’s question, we’re an interdimensional force that defends arts and science from those who wish to destroy it.”) Parenthetical Guy said, thinking on his feet.

“Erm, yes, we defend ideas and creativity. There are a lot of people who would threaten those concepts that are integral to our society, and only Renaissance Men such as ourselves have what it takes to ensure their protection,” Professor Paleontologist said, speaking directly into the camera.

Suddenly the entire room rotated and Parenthetical Guy and Professor Paleontologist were flung to the floor once more.

“None of that explains why you’re here,” Power Jones said, he and the two Da Vincis were now standing on the wall which had previously been the floor.

Parenthetical Guy sprung to his feet, (“Why! We’ve come to recruit these two fine Da Vincis of course!”)

Professor Paleontologist groaned, it was clear to him that his partner was quickly losing track of what they were supposed to be doing.

(“We have just come from a reality where arts and sciences have been threatened by a foul knave who would see all knowledge and creativity erased so that he may rule over a dim and dull populace. We’re endeavoring to stop them, can I count on your help?”)

“Why of course! Provided I can figure out how to get down from this wall!” Leonardo Da Vinci shouted.

“Yeah sure, that sounds like it could be interesting,” Leonardo Da Vinci II said.

“Well that’s all well and good,” Professor Paleontologist said, trying to get the mission back on track, “Now Mr. Jones, if we could actually-”

“Well, it seems like you’ve gotten what you wanted, this has certainly been quite an interesting episode of ‘Historical Figure Versus an Android Duplicate of Them From The Future’ but I’ve grown tired from hosting so many guests. All of you leave my home immediately.”

“Wait but-”

(“Oh, shoot I forgot what we came here for.”)

Power Jones waved goodbye and just like that the two Da Vincis and the two superheroes were gone.

                                                            ***

Curly was laying on his stomach on the top of an abandoned grocery store. A crudely constructed domino mask did a questionable job of concealing his identity and the leg of a large “K” — part of the sign displaying the store’s name “MOSTLY SNACKS”— concealed his body from any supervillain patrols. He scanned the street using a pair of high-tech binoculars that Hatman had given him. Supposedly they were twice as good as any binoculars that Glassesman had ever developed. Curly wasn’t totally convinced of that, seeing as how glasses were kind of the guy’s main thing, and what are binoculars if not fancy glasses, but Hatman had been very insistent about this fact. 

Curly stopped when a truck, nearly identical to the one he and Hatman had stolen the night before, only with somehow even sloppier graffiti on it, ambled into his view.

{“All right boss, I’ve got one,”} Curly said into a communicator Hatman had loaned him.

“What did I say about speaking to me?” Hatman responded. He was still trying, and mostly failing, to intimidate Curly into falling in line.

{“Not to do so unless you spoke to me first. But you also told me to be on the lookout for more supply trucks and that kind of seems like the more important order.”}

Curly heard Hatman sigh dramatically “How many in the cab?” Hatman was a few blocks away, searching for trucks from a perch of his own.

{“Two. It looks like they’ve noticed the other truck is missing.”}

“It’s safe to assume there are more in the trailer then, Smuggles doesn’t want any more trucks to go missing.”

{“Sucks to be him.”}

“Indeed. Can you tell who they are?”

Curly upped the zoom on his binoculars while aiming it at the truck’s windshield.

{“It looks like… Dr. Deathtrap and… oh yeah, that’s Snipey McSkullface.”}

“You’re sure?”

{“He’s got a face tattoo, of a skull, he’s practically wearing a more visible nametag.”}

“Very well, keep tracking it but don’t engage until I get there.”

{“Sure thing Hats,”} Curly said before deciding to completely ignore the older hero. Curly removed his grappling hook from his old Hatboy utility belt, and after trying to figure out how to work it, cursed under his breath and threw it over his shoulder. 

{“All right, I don’t need that. I’ll do this my way,”} Curly muttered to himself before running over to the edge of the roof and hurling himself over the side of it.

“What was that?” Hatman shouted.

{“Nothing!”} Curly shouted as he landed on the store’s awning and made the jump down to street level.

“What part of ‘don’t engage’ do you not understand?” Hatman shouted.

{“By the time you get here they could be long gone, or someone could get hurt. If you see a supervillain you’ve gotta stop a supervillain. We’ve got a poster that says that back in the office,”} Curly said as he removed some more implements from his utility belt: a crumpled piece of paper and a small length of string.

“You’re the someone who is going to get hurt if you try to stop the villains in the truck. You’re practically a civilian. No, you’re worse than a civilian. You’re a superhero-adjacent civilian, which means you’re definitely going to bite off more than you can chew.”

Curly patted his stomach with one hand and scooped up a good sized rock off the ground with the other, {“Never underestimate the amount that I can chew!”}

“I’m serious Curly, this isn’t the time for jokes.”

{“It’s always the time for jokes. We’ve got a poster that says that too.”}

Ahead of him Curly watched as the truck slowed to a stop at a red light.

{“Perfect, they’ve stopped for a red light.”}

“Why would a supervillain stop for a red light! It’s a trap Curly! Get out of there!”

                                                            ***

“Why did we stop?” Dr. Deathtrap asked irately, this glorified babysitting job was far beneath him.

“Red light,” Snipey McSkullface said casually, this glorified babysitting job was right at his level of supervillainy.

“So what? We’re supervillains, in a world controlled by supervillains and the collected forces of evils, we don’t stop for reds. Keep moving.”

Snipey McSkullface shook his head, “The only people on the road are these supply trucks, and, like you said, all of those trucks are driven by supervillains who probably aren’t following any traffic laws or regulations. I run this red light, there’s a very good chance we get t-boned by another one of these trucks. With my luck, it’ll be one carrying nuclear warheads or killer hornets or something. So nuh-uh, we stop at reds.”

“You’re absurd,” Dr. Deathtrap growled at him.

Suddenly, a rock with a note tied to it smashed through the passenger side window and landed in Dr. Deathtrap’s lap.

“What the hell?” he said as he picked up the rock.

The light changed to green and Snipey McSkullface got the truck moving again.

“Could be it’s from Ruby Encrusted Sword Guy in the back. What’s it say?” Snipey asked.

“It says… ‘Dr. Deathtrap smells’. What!”

Snipey McSkullface burst out laughing. “Ha! They totally got you. And you do kind of smell. What’s the deal with that?”

“How dare you!” Dr. Deathtrap shouted as he scooped up the rock and smacked Snipey McSkullface in the side of the head with it causing Snipey to jerk the wheel sharply to the left.

“Hey!” Snipey McSkullface said as he tried to get the wheel under control.

“It’s enough of an insult that I have to ferry these goods for Smuggles of all people. But I will not broach insults about my personal hygiene!” Dr. Deathtrap shouted as he wrapped his hands around the steering wheel.

“Now, I obviously cannot construct one of my patented deathtraps under these conditions, but I can certainly turn this truck into one!” Dr. Deathtrap shouted before bursting into maniacal laughter as the truck careened out of control.

                                                            ***

{“Holy cow that worked, like, immediately,”} Curly said as he took cover in a nearby alleyway as the supply truck jumped the curb and flipped over, spilling diamonds, guns, and out-of-season fruits all over the place.

“What did you do!” a gruff voice said from behind him as a firm hand landed on his shoulder.

Curly spun around, ready for a fight, only to find Hatman glowering at him from beneath his top hat cowl. When he saw the grim hero Curly burst into a wide smile and jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

{“Pretty neat eh?”}

“We need to get all of these guns off the streets now, the last thing we need is a scared public getting into gun fights with supervillains,” Hatman said.

{“Fine fine, we’ll call it into the rest of the Resistance and somebody can pick all this stuff up. But for now we’d better check to make sure those baddies are down for the count.”}

Hatman nodded and quickly rattled off a series of instructions into his remaining gauntlet communicator. The two heroes then walked across the street to the overturned truck.

“Hatman!” a bombastic voice called from the wreckage.

“Leave this to me,” Hatman said as he removed a shrunken object from his utility belt. With a flick of his wrist he enlarged the object to full size and Curly could see that it was some sort of helmet with a short pike on top of it. 

“A pickelhaube,” Hatman said as though that explained anything as he screwed the “helmet” over the top of his gauntlet, making it look like his hand had been replaced with the pike. 

{“I don’t know what Parenthetical Guy told you but I assure you my pickle-”}

“It’s a 19th century Prussian military helmet,” Hatman said curtly as he readied himself for battle.

{“Ok but why do you have it and why is it on your hand?”}

“I see that today is more glorious than I ever could have imagined! Today is the day I will finally vanquish the accursed capped crusader!” a man cried as he emerged from the open trailer. Like Hatman, he too was decked out in strange and ancient looking armor, though his covered more than just his left hand, and the blade he was wielding was a fair bit larger than Hatman’s hand pike. Curly narrowed his eyes, while he had never met this particular villain, it was clear from his choice of weaponry that this was the notorious Ruby Encrusted Sword Guy. The How to Hero gang had spent a fair bit of time making fun of this guy, though now Curly wished they had instead spent that time talking about how best to best him in combat or at the very least how to avoid being skewed on his ruby encrusted sword. 

Hatman didn’t waste any time with pre-battle banter or taunts, instead charging at the villain and aiming for his sword-hand with his battle pike. Curly winced as Ruby Encrusted Sword Guy blocked the blow with his sword and then kicked out at Hatman forcing him back a bit so that he could slash at the hero with his blade. Hatman parried the sword with his pickelhaube and jumped back out of the range of Ruby Encrusted Sword Guy’s ruby encrusted sword. Hatman unclipped his grapple gun from its holster and fired a line at the sword, attempting to snare it but Ruby Encrusted Sword Guy effortlessly slashed through the wire and charged at Hatman.

{“You can do it Hatman!”} Curly cried out {“I heard a rumor that those rubies are just plastic anyway!”}

Ruby Encrusted Sword Guy whipped his head toward Curly. “Who told you that?” he demanded. He was only distracted for a moment but it was enough for Hatman to press the advantage. He quickly slammed the butt of his bare palm into Ruby Encrusted Sword’s Guy nose, he then ducked low and swept the villain’s legs out from under him. Hatman then jabbed his pickelhaube into Ruby Encrusted Sword Guy’s chest, using the momentum from the fall to pierce the villain’s thick battle armor. 

“Damn you!” Ruby Encrusted Sword Guy shouted as he swung his sword at Hatman. Hatman grabbed Ruby Encrusted Sword Guy’s sword hand with his hand, stopping the downward motion of it. He then aimed his Pickelhaube hand at the sword and, to both Curly’s and Ruby Encrusted Sword Guy’s surprise, launched the small helmet from the gauntlet. The helmet’s pike made contact with Ruby Encrusted Sword Guy’s hand, causing him to drop his sword, which Hatman then caught in his now free hand. 

“Stand down. Now,” Hatman said as he pointed the villain’s own sword at the weak spot in his armor that Hatman had created.

{“Consider your villainous endeavors cut off at the knees,”} Curly grinned.

                                                            ***

“How did you flip the truck?” Hatman asked when they were safely back in Hatman’s garage. Ultiman had sent Super-Sonic-Plasma-Ultra-Cannon Man and a couple of other heroes to clean up the mess and round up the villains Hatman had left behind. Super-Sonic-Plasma-Ultra-Cannon Man had also indicated that Ultiman would prefer if Hatman and Curly returned to the Haberdashery so they could better coordinate their actions with the rest of the Resistance. But Hatman had thrown a smoke bomb at the ground and whisked Curly away in the confusion.

{“Well Dr. Deathtrap helped. I just tossed a little note into the truck and he took it from there.”}

“What’d you say?” Hatman asked.

{“Dr. Deathtrap smells.”}

Hatman looked confused for a moment, but then realization and then a smile dawned on his features. “Of course, good thinking.” 

Curly was shocked, {“What really? You like that?”}

Hatman began pacing back and forth, talking as much to himself as to Curly.

“Of course, of course. Somehow Smuggles has gotten all of these villains to work together, to work for him. But that kind of alliance can’t be especially strong, not with who these villains are. Not with the way all villains are. They’re arrogant, they’re loud, they’re antisocial.”

{“Every villain wants to rule the world,”} Curly muttered.

“Exactly!” Hatman shouted. “If we can just nudge them slightly towards infighting, they’ll take care of themselves. By the time Ultiman and the others are ready to mount an attack on Smuggles and his inner circle, we’ll have already destabilized the rest of his organization,” he abruptly turned towards Curly. “How many more insults do you think you can whip up? I can scatter them around in locations that I know these villains are patrolling regularly.” 

Curly rubbed his hands together, {“Oh Hats, you don’t know it but you’ve just hit the jackpot. Most of what we did back at the office was make fun of these villains. You tell me who you want to insult, and I’ll help you hit them where it hurts.” }

Hatman smiled, “Excellent.”

                                                            ***

“Well that was a huge waste of time,” Professor Paleontologist said as he patted himself down, making sure that all of him had made the transfer from The Cube back to Earth. 

(“What are you talking about? Ultiman sent us to gather allies and we just scored not one, but two in one fell swoop!”)

“I don’t think a couple of time-displaced renaissance men is what Ultiman had in mind,” Professor Paleontologist snapped.

Leonardo Da Vinci raised his hand, “Pardon me, but what is it that you needed us for again?”

Professor Paleontologist turned to the artist, a sheepish expression on his face, “I’m afraid we may have misled you sir. We’re not versions of you from alternate realities, I’m a superhero, Professor Paleontologist, and he’s a… I don’t know, an intern? A court jester? I’ve been reading your blog for quite a bit and I’ve never quite figured out what your role actually is.”

Parenthetical Guy let out a loud, forced, laugh. (“Oh Iguanada Vinci how you slay me. This should clear everything up,”) he said as he handed out business cards to everybody.

“This just says that you’re an ‘expert on everything,’” Leonardo Da Vinci II said. “That doesn’t clear up anything.”

The android then took stock of their surroundings. They were standing in the anteroom of the Haberdashery and the walls were adorned with different hat-shaped gadgets and gizmos. 

“Ah,” he said. “We’re in the possible past year of 2021, this is the Smuggles Event is it not?” 

Professor Paleontologist didn’t exactly like the term “possible-past” but he was relieved that the android had saved him the trouble of trying to explain their situation. “Yes, that’s exactly right. We’ve been tasked with locating possible allies for an eventual assault on Smuggles’s stronghold.”

Leonardo Da Vinci II nodded, “You may count on my assistance in the coming battle. Smuggles must be defeated for my timeline to come about.”

Leonardo Da Vinci stared open mouthed at the three individuals in front of him and then at all of the machines adorning the walls around them. “This is… All of this is absolutely incredible. I’m not much of a warrior but if you let me examine some of these inventions I’ll happily help in any way I can.”

Parenthetical Guy folded his arms across his chest and smiled smugly at Professor Paleontologist, (“See! Mission accomplished, let’s never speak to each other again.”)

Professor Paleontologist rolled his eyes, “Before we call it a day I actually have an idea for where we can find even more help.”

(“You’re telling me right now to my face, in front of our staunchest allies no less, that you think we need more help than these two time-displaced Leonardo Da Vincis.”)

“Yes,” Professor Paleontologist said matter of factly as he began pacing back and forth. “Now, what I’m about to suggest is highly unusual, and entirely unprecedented, but there is a sizable group of powerful do gooders that we have yet to tap, and whom I believe would have been overlooked during Smuggles’s hostile takeover of the world.”

Parenthetical Guy rolled his eyes, (“And I’m supposed to believe you just forgot about them until now? Deus ex machina much?”)

“He’s not wrong, that does seem awfully convenient,” Da Vinci said, stroking his chin. He was now wearing a futuristic helmet labeled “The Hat-Helmet Mark 1”.

Professor Paleontologist held his hands up, “I would’ve mentioned them immediately but for the fact that it goes against every superhero protocol in the book. So when Parenthetical Guy said that he had some ideas I figured we’d leave mine as a last resort. But we’ve been at this for a while now and it’s pretty clear that I need to step in.” 

(“So who are these perfect recruits?”) 

“Are you familiar with the Superhero School in Albany?” Professor Paleontologist asked.

(“I’m familiar with the fact that they’re a subpar, overpriced superhero teaching institution. How to Hero covers everything those stuffed shirts do and so much more… And so much better!) 

“Granted I don’t think the school offers a course in ‘what to do if a ‘which superhero are you’ quiz gives you an answer you weren’t expecting,’” Professor Paleontologist said flatly, “But they do have a sizable student body. Since your blog started enrollment has surged to record breaking levels.”

(“Hey that’s a more common problem than you’d think! Do you know how many superheroes have turned evil because they got, for example, you on one of those quizzes?”)

“So we’re going to… Albany was it?” Leonardo Da Vinci asked.

“Oh the school isn’t actually in Albany,” Professor Paleontologist said.

Parenthetical Guy looked up sharply, (“What? What are you talking about?”)

“It’s just called that to throw people off the scent. It’s actual location is one of the most closely guarded secrets in superherodom. That’s why I’m quite certain that Smuggles’s forces wouldn’t have been able to find it.”

(“Sounds like you’ve definitely endangered the people of Albany by calling it that but whatever,”) Parenthetical Guy muttered to himself parenthetically. 

“So where is this academy then?” Da Vinci asked.

“It’s in-”

“It’s been moved since you last taught there Professor,” Da Vinci II suddenly piped up.

“Ah, I was worried about that,” Professor Paleontologist admitted.

(“Makes sense, they wouldn’t want you showing up there again.”)

“If I may,” Da Vinci II said, “In my time, the many locations of the school is a matter of historical record. I know where it is at this very moment, and I can use my personal warp gate to take us there without compromising the secrecy of its location.”

Professor Paleontologist beamed, “That’s perfect!”

(“See, my gets are already helping us save the world.”)

“If everyone could just gather close to me, we can be on our way in a…”

In a flash of light the unlikely quartet disappeared to parts unknown.

                                                            ***

“According to the pattern I’ve detected, another shipment should be rolling through the city shortly. We should get back out there,” Hatman said, consulting a handheld electronic map of the city.

Curly looked up from his notes. He’d written devastating insults for just about every villain that was confirmed to be working with Smuggles. And he’d done like two and a half sit ups. He was readier than he’d ever been to fight more crime alongside Hatman. 

{“Let’s do thi-”}

A sharp chirp drew both of their attention to the truck they’d hijacked from Jhonny McBarnburner. 

“What was that? It sounded like-”

{“It’s your gauntlet,”} Curly said quickly.

Hatman narrowed his eyes, “My what?”

{“The gauntlet you threw away back in that alley where we first joined forces. I thought I could maybe reverse engineer it and develop some for myself. I’m a bit of a tech guy you know. I basically keep the blog running and all. I added a shuffle button to the interface. I’m sure you noticed that and so I figured, hey free gauntlet filled with all sorts of gizmos and doodads and whirli-”}

“Curly!” Hatman snapped. “I threw that gauntlet away because I believed it could be used by Smuggles’s forces to track my movements.”

{“Oof, wow. So it would’ve been really great if I hadn’t taken it out of that dumpster is what you’re saying.”}

Hatman snarled and then rushed over to the truck. He grabbed the gauntlet from the truck’s cab and looked at the message on the screen. As he read his scowl softened and he furrowed his brow.

“They know where you are. They’ll be there soon. Z VS PG them. Will be in touch again soon.”

“Curly, get in the truck. This location is compromised, they’ll be here any minute.”

As Curly trudged over to the truck, Hatman tossed him the gauntlet.

“And what do you make of this?”

Curly read the cryptic message and smiled. “Well, it looks like you’ve got yourself another mole.”

                                                            ***

“We have arrived,” Da Vinci II announced.

They were standing in an open field, a large imposing building loomed in the distance.

Parenthetical Guy quickly took out his phone and opened the Snaphat app. 

“What are you doing?” Professor Paleontologist hissed.

(“Looking for a geotag. Secret location my ass. I deserve to know where we are.”)

“I’m afraid that won’t work,” a gruff voice said from above them.

All of a sudden the quartet found themselves surrounded as dozens of brightly clad superhumans and para-folk descended from the sky. A cavalcade of glowing eyes, fists and weapons sent a clear message: Do anything we don’t like, and we’ll blast you straight to kingdom come.

“The Superhero School can’t be located by any form of technology, a combination of hexes and our own advanced tech sees to that,” an older man in a lab coat said as he descended on a floating metal platform. “Now why don’t you tell me what the hell you’re doing here.”

(“Ok how about we chill with the attitude geezer. I’m here to save the world, which of you good for nothing recluses is in?”)

A look of disgust flashed across the older man’s features. “How dare-”

Professor Paleontologist cleared his throat and stepped in front of Parenthetical Guy. “I’ll take it from here.”

Immediately the atmosphere changed, the older man’s features softened and some of the others even powered down a smidge.

“Professor Von Iguanadon,” the older man said as he quickly walked over to Professor Paleontologist, causing Parenthetical Guy and the two Da Vincis to raise their fists, expecting a fight.

“It’s good to see you old friend!” the older man cried before giving Professor Paleontologist a hug.

“It’s good to see you too Professor Fueller,” Professor Paleontologist said, clapping the other professor on the back.

“What brings you back to the school?” Professor Mitch Fueller asked, and then, dropping his voice an octave, “And how did you find us?”

(“We used an android duplicate of Leonardo Da Vinci from the future to find you and teleport here. Isn’t that how everybody does it?”) Parenthetical Guy said smugly while the Da Vincis waved at the superheroes in training. 

“And why did you bring him here,” Fueller said, not even trying to hide his disdain for Parenthetical Guy.

The How to Hero crew had long been a thorn in the side of the Superhero School’s faculty. Professor Fueller once estimated that the teachers spent roughly 80% of their class time reteaching topics and concepts that students had been misinformed about by How to Hero. He wasn’t sure what had brought Professor Paleontologist back to the Superhero School, but there were very few reasons Fueller could think of that would convince Leon to bring Parenthetical Guy of all people to the school’s hallowed grounds. 

“I wouldn’t have come if it weren’t an emergency Mitch,” Professor Paleontologist said, explaining quickly. “Supervillains have taken over the world, and we’re going to need all hands on deck to take it back.” 

A hush fell over the crowd, followed by an anxious murmur.

“Supervillains have taken over the world?”

“They need us? Where’s Hero Force?”

“Shit man, is that Leonardo Da Vinci?”

Fueller shuddered. The superhero school was, by design, cut off from all communications from the outside world. The idea was to keep students in the school until they were properly ready to go out into the world of superheroing. If the school and its students had access to news and was constantly being informed about supervillain attacks, alien invasions, and all manner of other crises, the odds were good that students would decide they were ready to help before they were, which could be catastrophic. So it was news to everybody that the world had gone down such a dark path without any of them being the wiser.

(“Listen up you wannabes!”) Parenthetical Guy shouted as he climbed atop a nearby boulder. 

“Oh dear,” Professor Paleontologist said resignedly.

(“A guy named Smuggles has teamed up with every supervillain on the planet and also the forces of Hell and also Zeus I guess? The heroes barely have two stones to rub together to light a fire under our own asses. So we’re forced to come to you almosts and wouldbes. None of you are my first choice obviously. There’s no way any of you are even remotely ready for this, especially since you get your hero training from a hoity toity place like this instead of, I don’t know, my totally kickass blog. How to Hero look it up, tell your friends. But what I can say, we’re desperate, so here we are. Who’s in?”)

Da Vinci II buried his face in his robotic palm.

“Get down from there,” Fueller demanded before turning to his erstwhile colleague. “Is it true, are things so dire?”

Professor Paleontologist nodded, “Ultiman sent us looking for allies and we haven’t had much luck yet. You know I wouldn’t come to you if I could avoid it. Nobody more than me understands the importance of allowing the students to complete the full curriculum before they join the good fight. But we’re vastly outnumbered and quite frankly, out of options.”

Fueller sighed, he was going to have to break every rule in the handbook.

“All right then,” he pressed a button on his lapel that connected him to the schoolwide PA system. “Listen up everybody. This is Professor Fueller. We have just received word that the rest of the world is in dire trouble. The forces of evil have managed to prevail, at least for the moment. But as you all know, good can never be fully snuffed out. A resistance has formed, and that small force of good has reached out to us in search of help. I know this isn’t how things usually work here, but, well, the world usually isn’t taken over by supervillains overnight. So I’m calling upon each and every one of you, teacher and student alike, to join me, to join the forces of justice, in this fight. If you’ll join me, please come to the quad now.”

Fueller cut his connection to the PA and turned to Professor Paleontologist, “Many of them are not combat ready but we’ll help in any way we can.”

“I appreciate that old friend,” Professor Paleontologist said. 

“Look!” Da Vinci shouted as he pointed towards the school.

Colorfully clad figures of all shapes and sizes were pouring out of the building and marching towards the small group already standing in the quad. 

Professor Paleontoligst smiled and nudged Parenthetical Guy with his elbow, “How’s that for an army?”

Parenthetical Guy could barely suppress his grin, (“Whatever, I’m taking credit for it.”)

                                                            ***

Hatman got the truck started and ready to move at the very same moment that the large metal door of the garage exploded.

“Hold on to something,” Hatman growled as he slammed on the gas causing the truck to barrel forward toward the smoking doorway.

A hail of gunfire caused Hatman and Curly to duck down in their seats. The windshield soon shattered, which caused Hatman to swear softly and place an arm protectively over Curly, but all the while the capped crusader kept his boot on the pedal and the truck kept, well, trucking.

Hatman heard several yelps and shouts as orange and red clad men with tommy guns dove out of the way of the speeding vehicle.  

“That’s about enough Hatman!” a warbly, Italian accented voice shouted before the truck squelched to a halt. 

“They’ve managed to hit the engine block,” Hatman observed as he slipped the compromised gauntlet onto his bare hand. He reasoned that there was no point in notit wearing it seeing as Smuggles people already had a pretty good idea of where they were. And he didn’t want to leave himself shorthanded for the fight that was no doubt about to occur.

{“Want me to insult them?”} Curly said as he stayed hunched over in his seat.

Hatman gritted his teeth as the gunmen approached the cab, “Knock yourself out.”

Curly flashed a toothy grin and a thumbs out before cupping his hands around his mouth like a bullhorn. 

{“Excellent shooting boys, you really managed to incapacitate a 40 ton truck with just under 100 bullets. You lot must have graduated at the top of your class at henchmen school!”} he called.

Another message flashed across Hatman’s gauntlet.

“Curly, we need to move now,” Hatman said.

{“Oh yeah? What makes you say that?”} Curly said sarcastically as the cab doors were thrown open and the two heroes were dragged out of it. Hatman and Curly were both made to kneel on the ground while two of the henchmen bound their hands behind them. Curly steeled himself, trying to prepare for anything the next couple of minutes might throw at him. What he wasn’t prepared for though was a giant, mustachioed, lobster wearing a trench coat and a fedora with holes cut into it to accommodate the creature’s eyestalks. 

“Ah Hatman it brings me great pleasure to be the one to finally end your reign of heroism and hat-themed nonsense!” 

“Mobster,” Hatman spat.

Curly could barely believe his eyes, or his ears.

{“Wait a minute! You’re the Mobster, like, the lobster who runs a mob? You’re actually real? I thought that was just something we made up for the blog. I can’t believe this. You’re really a lobster! This is the happiest I’ve ever been. Wow.”}

The Mobster narrowed his eyes, “I see you’ve recruited yet another Hatboy, it will bring me great joy to kill this one and finally earn my ‘Murder a Hatboy’ badge at this year’s supervillain jamboree.”

“You’ll do no such thing,” Hatman said and then spat at the Lobster’s feet.

“Why you insolent-”

Suddenly dozens of men in full combat gear rappelled down from the roofs of nearby

Buildings. A man wearing a cowl shaped like the head of a snake and wearing a black labcoat gesticulated wildly from one of the roofs as the combat gear clad men surrounded the Mobster, his mob, and Hatman and Curly.

“We’ve finally tracked you down Hatman! Prepare to meet your end at the hands of the Dr. Python and the Python Paramilitary!” 

Hatman rolled his eyes, apparently Smuggles had shared their location with several of the crime bosses now under his employ.

“What are you doing here Python! This is my score!” the Mobster shouted, craning his segmented neck to get a better look at Dr. Python who was cackling like a madman.

At that same moment an armored truck pulled up, a horde of giant, gun-toting, lizards jumped out of the back of it.

“Hatman! We’re bringing you in to Smuggles for the glory of the lizard-people mob!” one of the lizards hissed/shouted.

“What! I am the only reptile themed villain who will defeat Hatman!” Dr. Python shouted.

“What?” the lizard shouted. With everybody milling around on the ground, it was getting difficult to hear Dr. Python up on the roof.

“Halt Hatman! Prepare to suffer the wrath of El Chad!” shouted a disheveled man riding atop a goat with the words “Property of How To Hero Don’t Frikkin Steal This One Chad I Mean It!” shaved into its fur.

Everybody, villain, hero, and henchman alike let out a loud groan. El Chad was the worst. Nobody was ever happy to see him. 

“I’m flattered that Smuggles seems to think it will take four supervillains and their criminal organizations to bring me in but this is getting ridiculous,” Hatman said.

“Shut up!” the Mobster said snapping a meaty claw inches from Hatman’s face. “Do you, Hatman, surrender unconditionally to the Crime Consortium!” 

“Never!” Hatman shouted.

{“We’d be happy to!”} Curly cheerfully announced at the same time.

“What?” Hatman said sharply, turning to look at his partner.

“What?” the assembled villains said, looking at each other in confusion. None of them had much experience with superheroes surrendering unconditionally to them.

{“I mean of course we’ll surrender to you guys. You beat us fair and square. It’s just that, and really this is such a small thing, Hatman and I are only going to unconditionally surrender to whomever is actually in charge here. I mean, you wouldn’t expect a top tier hero like Hatman to surrender to a henchman or some second stringer would you?”}

“No of course not, that’s fine. As leader of the Lob, the Lobster Mob, you will surrender to me then,” the Mobster announced proudly.

“Excuse me?” the three of the lizards said in unison. “Clearly the lizard mob will accept the surrender of these heroes.”

“What’s going on down there!” Dr. Python shouted. “Did he say that he would surrender to the Python Paramilitary?”

“Nah man, he said he’d only surrender to the head honcho which is of courses totes magotes, me, El Chad,” El Chad said proudly.

“You!” Dr Python shouted. “But you’re the worst!” 

“How dare you!” El Chad shouted.

“How dare you!” the Mobster shouted. “Who even invited you to this!”

“One of your lobster boys tweeted about it!” El Chad shouted.

“That’s it!” Dr. Python shouted. “Python Paramilitary, show these goons who the real supervillain is!”

The combat gear clad men all pointed their guns at the other villains. Which caused the lizard-mob to launch into action, swiping and biting any Python soldier that got close to them. It wasn’t long before the Lob and El Chad and the two or three goats he had managed to swipe from How to Hero headquarters joined the fray. 

{“That’s our cue to leave,”} Curly said as he slowly rose to his feet.

“Right behind you,” Hatman said as he superheated his gauntlets and melted the cuffs on his wrists. 

Hatman undid Curly’s cuffs and the two of them ran away from the fight that was escalating in the street behind them.

“Hey you guys! You guys! They’re getting away!” Dr. Python shouted.

Unfortunately for them, the other villains were too busy fighting each other to hear him.

{“Where to? Back to the Hab?”} Curly asked when they were a safe distance away from the brawl.

“Not yet, another message came through right before we were attacked. It seems like Smuggles has given up on individual supply trucks manned by exploitable supervillains. There’s a huge unmanned train full of stuff coming through town soon.”

Curly nodded, {“Ok, so what do we do.”}

Hatman began walking in the direction of the city’s train tracks. “We stop them.”

                                                            ***

“There it is,” Hatman said. Both he and Curly were perched on a rooftop overlooking a stretch of track that passed through Clifftown’s abandoned warehouse district. 

{“I’m surprised we haven’t run into anymore villains on our way here,”} Curly mused. The duo had slowly made their way across the city. Dropping insulting notes with forged signatures of other supervillains in strategic locations so that the wandering squads of villains patrolling the city would eventually find them and succumb to infighting. But there didn’t seem to be any roving teams in this part of town.

“There are just about zero civilians living in this part of town. It’s mostly supervillain lairs honestly,” Hatman said. “There’s no reason for the villains to remain here now that they control everything else.”

{“Which makes it the perfect spot for us to make our move,”} Curly observed as he watched the train get closer.

“Exactly,” Hatman said as he checked his gear over once more. They were only going to get one shot at crippling Smuggles’ infrastructure. And Hatman wasn’t about to blow it. “You good to go?”

Curly patted his belt, they’d stocked up on explosives and other gear at one of the caches Hatman had hidden around the city. {“Oh yeah.”}

“Good, keep your beacon on at all costs. See you on the other side,” Hatman said before he dove off of the roof.

{“See you soon,”} Curly said as he unclipped his grappling gun and fired it at the train. {“If we survive.”}

Hatman hurtled toward the moving train at increasing speeds, grinning as he hurled a blocky and powerful magnet at the train’s roof. The magnet instantly connected to the roof and Hatman clicked his heels and wrists together, activating the internal magnets in each of them. The magnet on the train’s roof drew the magnets in Hatman’s appendages to it, ensuring that the falling Hatman kept pace with the moving train. Then, right before he connected with the speeding train’s roof and ended up becoming little more than a superheroic splat, Hatman reversed the polarity of the magnets in his costume. Which, when reacting with the large magnet on the train’s hull, dramatically slowed Hatman’s descent. Allowing him to land softly next to the magnet. After remagnetizing his boots to avoid falling off of the train, Hatman superheated his gauntlet and melted a hole in the train’s hull, which allowed him to breach the train’s exterior. Hatman jumped through the hole he’d burned and landed deftly inside the train. Checking his beacon, he was able to see that Curly had managed to breach the train’s caboose, as planned. 

Hatman took stock of his own surroundings. The car he was in was filled with all manner of powerful weapons. Hatman shuddered at the thought of Smuggles and his Consortium getting their villainous hands on all of this firepower. He quickly removed an explosive from his belt and moved to attach it to the train’s wall.

“Ah ah Hatman. You’re not going to destroy this shipment,” a cold robotic voice taunted. 

Hatman steeled himself for another fight. “I don’t recall asking for your opinion on the matter.”

The wall closest to Hatman lit up. It’s a screen, Hatman observed. A cruel looking face flashed across it. 

“Regardless Hatman, this is where your campaign comes to an end.”

“Nemesystem,” Hatman said, recognizing the voice. “You’re controlling the train.”

“Not just the train,” Nemesystem said, and the face projected on the wall winked at Hatman. Suddenly several of the weapons surrounding Hatman whirred to life and, floating up from their perches, aimed themselves at Hatman.

Hatman took stock of his situation. He was in a confined space with several weapons pointing at him, with both the space and the weapons being controlled and operated by an enemy that Hatman couldn’t physically overpower or subdue. Not a great situation, but he’d gotten out of worse. Nemesystem being in control of the train certainly complicated things though. Hatman had to hope that he could keep the evil AI occupied until Curly could set his explosives. Hatman moved quickly. He dropped half a dozen smoke bombs at his feet while affixing an oxygen mask from his belt onto his exposed mouth and nose. As the room filled with smoke, Hatman jumped up, grabbing onto a floating sniper rifle. He used the rifle to swing himself further upward as several of the weapons discharged, sending a hail of bullets every which way while Nemesystem tried to pinpoint Hatman’s location. Hatman knew that wouldn’t take the system long. The smoke was merely a temporary diversion for a being who didn’t actually have any eyes with which to see. As soon as Nemesystem was able to switch to infared or night vision Hatman would be in trouble again. He continued using different floating weapons as rungs to get him higher and higher until he could reach the car’s ceiling. Once he did he superheated his gauntlets and burned a circle in the ceiling, which caused a segment of it to fall to the floor. In an instant all of the weapons, including the floating alien plasma blaster Hatman was hanging onto fell to the floor. Converging on the fallen chunk of ceiling, which just so happened to have Hatman’s super magnet still stuck to it. Hatman once again activated the magnets in his boots and gauntlets, and, reversing the polarity once more, used the magnet to launch himself out of the weapons car into the next one down. 

“Very clever, Hatman,” Nemesystem taunted, as the walls in this next car flashed to life, displaying Nemesystem’s digital visage on them as well.’

“Thanks,” Hatman grunted as he removed an explosive from his belt and allowed it to be sucked into the weapon’s car by the magnet. This car was filled with various treasures, and valuables. No tech, which meant there was nothing for Nemesystem to take control of. Hatman smirked and removed another explosive from his belt. 

“You are far too smug,” Nemesystem said as several large guns and cannons emerged from the ceiling walls and floor of the train car. 

Hatman ignored him, arming the explosive and letting it fall to the ground.

“These weapons are anti-ferrous, so your little magnet trick won’t work again. You see, for every time you thwart me I grow smarter. I learn your strategies and plans and reconfigure this train to combat them.”

“You don’t say,” Hatman said, tensing his leg muscles and taking stock of the crates of valuables that surrounded him.

A hail of laser fire emitted from the various cannons. Hatman expertly dodged them and then sprung at a nearby crate, quickly ripping the lid off of it and knocking it over, causing hundreds of diamonds to spill out onto the floor. 

“Your fanciful acrobatics will not keep you alive for long,” Nemesystem said as the cannons recharged for another volley.

“Yeah, that’s clear to me,” Hatman said as he scooped up a handful of the precious stones. “Crystal clear.”

The cannons let off another round of laser fire and Hatman expertly hurled the diamonds at one of the turrets. The diamonds caused the laser fire to be refracted in multiple directions, overloading the other cannons. Hatman didn’t stick around for the show, he wrenched the door to the next car open and dove through it.

The next car, the last of the three Hatman was supposed to deal with was filled with combat drones of every make and model. Each of their faces had been replaced with the Nemesystem’s who grinned evilly at the hero. Hatman looked at his gauntlet, which displayed a countdown that was synched to those of the bombs he and Curly were planting. He only had about a minute left before this train went, and he and Curly needed to link up and throw themselves clear before then. That didn’t leave a ton of time for Hatman to deal with these robots. Hatman shrugged, it wasn’t like he had much of a choice.

“What hat-shaped gadget will you deploy to deal with this problem Hatman?” Nemesystem taunted. “Remind me, do you humans have a hat that can wipe out one hundred and nineteen state of the art combat drones?”

Hatman didn’t waste any time responding; he simply removed a collapsible umbrella hat from his belt and opened it up to its full size. The “hat” was actually a brightly colored shield that Hatman could safely hide behind while he developed some sort of plan. All at once, the drones opened fire on the umbrella which absorbed and disperred the laser fire. Hatman backed up against a wall, cursing himself for not saving any of the diamonds from the last car. He felt the wall behind him and pressed his back flat against it, allowing the metal tips at the edges of the umbrella canopy to dig into the wall, essentially sealing Hatman in a laser proof dome. 

“Curly come in!” Hatman shouted into his gauntlet. 

Nothing but static came through the speaker. Hatman feared the worst, Nemesystem must have already gotten to Curly. Another Hatboy lost he thought glumly. Then he shrugged it off. If Curly was taken out then that meant Hatman needed to take out his cars in addition to this last one. It also meant he couldn’t afford to dawdle in this dome while the front half of the train exploded around him. 

“Nowhere to run Hatman, I wonder, will you scream as I tear you apart limb from limb. Human screams fascinate me. Machines can’t seem to synthesize any sound that is quite as delicious.”

Hatman shuddered, he wasn’t going to give this cruel computer an ounce of satisfaction. Hatman shoved the umbrella forward, disconnecting it from the wall and barreled into the first wave of drones that had been attempting to breach his shield. 

A crude, electronic attempt at a maniacal laugh crackled from speakers embedded all over the train car as the Nemesystem’s drones aimed their various onboard weapons at the hatted hero. Hatman raised his superheated fists, planning to simply punch his way through the robotic horde when suddenly the laughter cut out abruptly and the drones immediately clattered to the ground.

{“If you’re done messing around in here, it’s just about time to go,”} Curly said as he stood triumphantly over the fallen robots.

“Curly? How?” Hatman said at a loss for words. 

Curly held up a slim silver device with the letters “HTH” carved into them. {“Standard issue How to Hero technology neutralizer. We all got them, after Dr. Brainwave accidentally brought all of the appliances to life and Parenthetical Guy almost got killed by the blender.”}

Hatman was at a loss for words. “What?”

{“It’s short range only, and it’s not very powerful. So while it can’t stop the train I’ve been able to keep Nemesystem from entering any of the cars I’ve been in. But we really need to jump, like now.”}

Hatman nodded and positioned himself at the far wall of the train car. “Turn that thing off… now!”

Curly quickly switched off the tech neutralizer and the drones started coming back to life. Hatman threw his last bomb into the crowd of drones and then melted a hole in the side of the train.

“Let’s move!” he shouted as Curly ran toward him and they both jumped out of the train.

They’d timed the operation so they’d leave the train as it was passing over the Clifftown bay. Of course, the bay was still frozen thanks to Friar Frostbite. Apparently Smuggles hadn’t seen it fit to undo this during his tenure. That was all well and good though, because, as expected an aviator-cap shaped jet was hovering right outside the train, waiting to catch the two heroes.

Only it didn’t swoop in and catch them. Hatman saw Curly’s eyes widen in fear. iOf course, Hatman thought. The neutralizer disabled our beacons. The plane’s onboard guidance system can’t find us.

Hatman and Curly locked eyes and then unclipped their grappling guns and fired them both at the plane as the train exploded in the distance. 

                                                            ***

{“So we each hooked onto one of the plane’s wings and it flew us away as the train exploded like: BOOM! KABLOW! ZAMMO!”} 

(“Dude I cannot believe you got to fight villains and hang out with Hatman while I was stuck with friggin Jurassic Dork.”)

They were both sitting in the entrance hall of the Haberdashery, Ultiman had whisked Professor Paleontologist and Hatman into a closed door meeting so they could debrief him without the constant interruptions and interjections of the two bloggers. The new recruits from the Superhero School, along with the two Da Vincis, were off mingling with the other Resistance heroes. 

{“What can I say, I’ve always been more of a fighter than you,”} Curly said.

(“Oh yeah? Well we’ll see how good of a fighter you are when I put you on mutant alligator feeding duty when we take back our office.”)

Curly started to retort but then he remembered something. {“We have someone on the inside!”} he blurted.

Parenthetical Guy was surprised (“What? Who?”)

Curly explained about the cryptic messages he and Hatman had received, {“He told me to ‘play Z VS PG’. That’s ‘Zach versus Parenthetical Guy’ it’s a game we play back at the office where we get the two of you to fight over who’s the real boss of How To Hero.”}

(“What, that’s a stupid game. It’s obviously me!”)

Curly gave him a look.

(“Oh… Oh! You think it might be Zach? You think he’s infiltrated the bad guys? Does that mean he’s ok?”)

Neither of them had heard from Zach since Smuggles had freed Chuck the Fish Whisperer and launched his villainous campaign against the world. Curly was starting to really worry about him and though they had never discussed it, Curly knew Parenthetical Guy was too. 

{“I mean it could be! He’s still unaccounted for. He could have gotten away from Chuck and hidden out until he could embed himself in the Consortium and now he’s sending Hatman messages.”}

Parenthetical Guy scratched his goatee, (“I mean, it could b-”)

A heavy knock at the door drew them from their conversation. They both looked at each other in shock. Nobody was supposed to know this place existed. They looked around, they were the only people in the entrance hall. 

The person on the other side of the door knocked again.

(“Do we get it?”)

{“What if it’s a trap?”}

Ultiman, Hatman, and Professor Paleontologist burst out of the room where they were conducting their meeting and hurried to the door. As though they’d rehearsed it, Hatman and Professor Paleontologist pressed themselves up against either side of the door. Hatman had his hand on his belt, ready to unsheath some sort of gadget. Professor Paleontologist put a hand to his amulet. Ultiman glanced over his shoulder at Curly and Parenthetical Guy.

“Be ready for anything,” he said curtly, before opening the door. “Oh?”

Waiting for him outside was a veritable mob. But it didn’t seem to be the angry kind. Dozens of regular humans, along with all manner of sewer-mutants, werewolves, and vampires were gathered on Hatman’s stoop. Standing at their head was a large mud monster with glasses and a disheveled man in a rumpled suit wielding a swordfish.

Parenthetical Guy peeked his head around Ultiman and eyed the crowd, (“Lawyer Guy?”)

The disheveled man nodded [“The civilian brigade is reporting for duty. Can we come in?”]

                                                            ***

A Secure Location

“Attention prisoners, mandatory recreation time ends in ten minutes,” an electronic voice chirped.

The collected superheroes groaned. Recreation time wasn’t very fun, but it was the only time they were allowed out of their cells. Today’s activity was called “supervillain charades.” It was like regular charades, but you were only allowed to mime various crimes. The activity was overseen by Giorgio the Evil Mime and he was very strict. A tall, well-built man, strode onto the stage. A cowboy hat rested upon his head and was angled such that the top half of his face was shrouded in shadow. He had black nail polish on his fingers and a tattoo of himself riding a skateboard while playing an electric guitar on his left bicep. His name was Cowboy Rockstar and he’d had just about enough of Giorgio, Smuggles, and the whole lot of villains who had imprisoned him and so many of his superhero compatriots. He lifted his hat, revealing piercing blue eyes and made direct eye contact with another prisoner, a far less muscular man with a raggedy beard and glasses. Unlike the other heroes in the room, who had all been given garish supervillainish costumes to wear while in prison, this prisoner was clad in regular street clothes. A hoodie and jeans. He wasn’t forced to dress like a supervillain because he was not a superhero, and so the Consortium saw little value in trying to turn him into a villain. Which wasn’t to say that he wasn’t a valuable prisoner. Smuggles saw plenty of value in keeping him locked up. And Cowboy Rockstar saw plenty of value in teaming up with him.

Giorgio waved his arms frantically, signaling to Cowboy Rockstar that he’d better get started if he wanted to get his charade in before it was time for the heroes to be herded back into their individual cells. 

Cowboy Rockstar kept his eyes locked on the prisoner in the hoodie and began his charade. He held up two fingers. Two words. He then held up one finger. First word. He squatted against the wall. Chairs, and other props, were wholly out of the question but Giorgio allowed use of the wall, the stage, and any other element of the space the heroes could think to use. With his back flat against the wall he lifted up his right foot and made like he was pressing on something with it.

Various heroes shouted out guesses.

“Tapping!”

“Foot!”

“Kicking!”

“Brake,” the man in the hoodie muttered.

Cowboy Rockstar nodded and then held up two fingers. Second word. He then mimed opening a door and stepping through it.

“Door! Breaking down a door… of a bank!”

“Open! Break open! Breaking open someone’s… skull?”

Cowboy Rockstar shrugged and touched his nose, signalling that Rockblock had gotten it and causing the giant rock monster to whoop in delight. Cowboy Rockstar winked at the prisoner in the hoodie, who had understood what the hero was really getting at. The prisoner in the hoodie smiled faintly. Cowboy Rockstar was planning a break out, and he wanted Zach, self-proclaimed expert of all things superheroes, to help him do it.

[infinite-rabbits]

hey, hiii just wanted to ask about your thoughts/opinions on shadows character

Do you mean like.... Overall or how it’s been handled lately?

It also kinda depends on which version of Shadow. I mean, obviously from my set of 4 Shadows I have on my desk, I love him.

SO I guess we need to break it down.

Sonic Adventure 2 Shadow: I love this silly edgelord. He’s basically a teenager who’s also woken up from a really long nap. Have you ever had nap brain before? Because it sucks, and I like to think that’s part of why he’s so grumpy and also why he had so many memory problems. He might have been out of cryostasis, but his brain was still waking up. He’s moody, he’s probably going through hormone swings because, you know, teenager, and he’s trying to figure out where he stands in the world. This is the Shadow I was first introduced to when my cousin had the game system and I was watching him play it. I literally made my mom buy me a gamecube and the game because I wanted to play with Shadow. I’m always late to the game with stuff. I mean heck, I only just now started playing Sonic Forces and that’s been out since 2017, but this game REALLY impacted my view on the Sonic franchise.

Shadow in Shadow The Hedgehog: Okay so I know a lot of other people really hate his depiction in this game. They don’t like the idea of Shadow going THAT edge and liking guns and all of that stuff due to his PTSD with Maria. But honestly... I don’t mind it that much? Because there’s the whole thing about him having amnesia again or whatever. And what’s more interesting to look at from this game’s point of view is that, just like a lot of other things in the Sonic Franchise, it’s an AU. This is a choose your own adventure where you can literally decide if Shadow is going to freak out and go down the villain’s path, stay neutral and do his own thing, or realize that he needs his friends and go down the hero’s path. So even if you’re not super into him using guns, you could still have him go down that hero path and find his true self. Plus this thing has one of the most bangin’ theme songs Shadow’s ever had. Like all of his themes from games are pretty awesome, but I personally LOVE this one. Especially the extra m e t a l version by Little V.

Shadow in other games: He can be kind of hit-or-miss in the personality department here. You’ve got him in Sonic Heroes with amnesia... again. And possibly being an andriod. But honestly I love that “date to die for!” scene because it’s so dramatic! You’ve got him in Free Riders for some reason being willing to help Rouge get money in the race even though he’s never actually been willing to help before. In most games he’s just kinda sorta... there, and it feels like the writers don’t fully know what to do with him if he’s not the main focus of the game. There’s one big exception to that though:

Shadow in Sonic 06: The game everyone shits on, mostly just because of some of the graphics being shitty here and there in the actual gameplay and also the whole “Sonic hooking up with a human chick” thing. However, this is one of the best characterizations of Shadow. He cares about his friends, he gets given the support he needs, and in turn he also winds up giving that support to Silver. You know, after giving him a boot to the head. As bad as this game might have been, we did actually get relatively good character development for some of these characters, and Shadow was one of them. His willingness to do his part and take Silver “under his quills” as I’ve seen other people say, properly shows off his compassionate side rather than him just.... being dark and brooding. You know?

Boom Shadow: Eeeeh.... I’m not totally sure how to feel about this one? I love listening to his voice for sure. I like watching his fight scenes. But it feels like they’re making him edgy just for the sake of being edgy. And he’s really easily manipulated? I feel like, while Boom has done some great things with other characters, Shadow has gotten the short end of the stick. He’s kinda bland most of the time when it comes to his actual characterization, and he’s boiled down to a one-note kind of guy. So like, I don’t hate it but I really think I could do better.

IDK comics Shadow: They kinda did the same thing here. Shadow started out pretty darn great in that scene with Sonic and deciding what to do with Mr. Tinker. Seeing Sonic get under Shadow’s skin about it and making him back down was a great way of showing how the two have really gotten to understand each other over the years and that Sonic knows Shadow better than he’s willing to admit. That’s where my praise ends. Shadow then basically disappears until we get him back being stubborn as hell and jumping right into a pit of zombots and BOOM, just like that he’s taken out of the game. We’ll see how things go once this virus thing is over (because honestly I feel like it’s been lasting waaaay too long.) and if they use this to humanize him a bit more or if they keep him being super stubborn and one-note. But yeah, as of now I’m not super happy with how he’s been handled.

Shadow in the Archie Comics: HOO BOY I SAVED THE BEST ONE FOR LAST. And by best I mean worst. Where do I even begin with this one? Let me start by saying that I haven’t read all of the Archie comics yet. I’m working on it now, and I’m reading them somewhere online because they’re expensive as hell to get a hold of. But dear lord, this writing is usually horrible! Some of the writers work well together while others *cough*kenpenders*cough* don’t bother to read each other’s stories or will get pissy about their own plotlines not going anywhere and others having to fix them. Shadow is... yanked around so heavily in this series. In some stories, he’s great. He shows interesting characteristics and shows that he’s learning and growing. In others he’s just kinda.... there. In others he’s going completely against what he’s learned and is treating people like shit unless he’s manipulated to do otherwise. One of my absolute biggest complaint about the Archie series is: Tyrant Overlord King Shadow, from the 25/30 years later arch. It’s so bad, you guys. *disgruntled noises* Ken Penders basically had Shadow do a complete 180 despite everything he’s ever learned. He forcibly married Sally, became a tyrant of a king who ruled with an iron fist, and when Sonic kicked his ass and threw him in another stasis tube and he was brought back later, he unleashed this weird Tikal/Chaos creature out into the world to completely destroy it after feeding her so much chaos energy that he hurt her. Also the writer completely freaking forgot to actually END that story. Sonic and the New Freedom Fighters defeat and re-seal away “Tichaos,” but there’s no closure as to what happens to Shadow. It’s just Ken Penders going: “LOOK MY SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME OCS JUST SAVED THE DAY.” And it’s like.... okay, but what about Shadow? Did he escape? Is he still in the castle? Is there a second part to this? And sadly, that’s as far as I’ve read with that line and I don’t know if it got any further before they had to do the reboot. So yeah, Shadow is kinda shafted in these comics too.

Overall: I think he’s a really great character with a lot of wasted potential. He tends to shine more when the spotlight is fully on him because in that case, the writers realize they need to work on him more. But when he’s a side character, they boil him down to one-note and that’s really not a good thing to do with any character. (I should also note that I haven’t actually gotten to purchase the DLC yet of Shadow’s story for Sonic Forces, so I’ll need to go and watch the cut scenes before I can properly say anything on that particular game.)

The Sonic Franchise suffers overall from a case of: Too many characters. Now I wouldn’t change that about them, especially this late in the game. However we’ve been introduced to so many characters that none of them ever really get their chance in the spotlight anymore. Another artist that I can actually compare this to is actually VivziePop. She designs a LOT of characters for her works, and she puts so much effort into them that they all come across as “main character material” and completely overshadow the actual main character of the story. The biggest time that has impacted her work was in her comic Zoophobia. The main character was some human chick thrown into the world, but then she spent so long establishing all of the almost hundred characters she’d made for the world that the story itself felt like it de-railed. She’s gotten a bit better with Hazbin, but Charlie still gets really overshadowed. Some of the Archie comics got to be the same way. They had introduced so many characters at that point that they needed to do storylines that didn’t involve Sonic, and Ken Penders himself didn’t really like writing for Sonic because it was so restrictive, where as he had a lot of free reign with the other ones he’d made or that weren’t the main character. So he just kept making character after character to throw in there, and that combined with the characters we got from all of the assorted media over the years means a lot more characters to try and focus on. So the ones that don’t get their prime time in the spotlight just kinda never go anywhere. Also Shadow not being the main precious blue boy probably explains why his writing can be so wibbly-wobbly depending on the media he’s in. Because Sega isn’t breathing down anyone’s neck anywhere near as heavily as they are for Sonic.

I should probably stop typing now because I’ve written you a novel. XD

TL;DR: I love Shadow but he gets the shaft more often than not by the writers.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Disney+ What To Watch: My Top 10 Favourite Modern Day Disney Animated Movies

Alright so this is going to be my list for my Top 10 Favourite Modern Day Disney Animated Movies.

By "Modern Day", I am referring to any movies from Walt Disney Animation Studios starting in the year 2000 up to the present day. Effectively twenty years of Disney Animation that for some people may be considered classics.

I will be including movies that made up some of Disney's last 2D animations the studio is so famous for as well as the new era of 3D animations that seem to he the new direction for the studio.

As always, please keep in mind that my thoughts and opinions are my own and should be treated as such. Just because I rank these movies a certain way does not mean I am saying that's the universal truth, it is simply my truth.

#10. Wreck-It Ralph

I never saw this movie when it was first released in cinemas, however I also never saw a lot of hype surrounding the movie's release or reaction after the fact.

You would think, that because this was the norm movie type that Disney was producing as the noughties primarily tried moving away from the Disney Princess formula and instead tried to convey simple family friendly movies, that a 3D animated buddy movie that dives into the nostalgia of adult kids as well as appealing to younger audiences would be a hit.

Well, I enjoyed the nostalgia factor and the crossover value of seeing all of these different video game characters inhabiting what is literally the same cyberspace. We already knew that the 2D animated movies were contained in the same reality and, while the sequel would suggest that they are linked with the Wreck-It Ralph universe through cyberspace, having all of these classic real world games that Disney do not own the rights to like Sonic, Mario and the like was just a lot of fun to see.

Now obviously the idea of a gaming cinematic universe is currently on the books with Paramount, but the idea of Disnsy having it's own mini gaming universe could be interesting.

The only problem with that is, the only interesting characters are the main four characters plus the villain King Candy.

What that means is that these Easter Eggs of classic gaming characters are either a distraction or simply in the way. But I do understand why they were there in terms of world building.

I also do maybe wish we had some of these other games in action. For instance, when Turbo becomes that super virus at the end and begins deleting the entire video arcade cyberverse, instead of just seeing all the characters gather in the lobby, it would have been great to see maybe Mario escaping his universe or Sonic super speeding out of Silver Hills as it obliterates.

That lost emotion aside, the reason this movie does hit me emotionally is one scene when Disney Pure pull a Disney Pixar move and blatantly and brutally tug at the heartstrings when Ralph destroys Venelope's race car.

I understand why it's done, but it does flip what used to happen in these Disney movies when the liar reveal story unravels and the woman is upset with the man but then the man comes good in the end. It's very tired at this point even in 2011 when this movie came out.

I mean I am guessing it is supposed to put the viewer in the mindset of either feeling sorry for Ralph or disgusted at Ralph so that his redemption is that much better but as a 25yr old at the time of seeing this on a plane journey to Australia, it almost made me turn the movie off I was that annoyed.

I did enjoy the outsider aspect to Ralph's character, and in fact a lot of my choices on this list will be in support of outsiders because that's the direction clearly or indirectly taken by Disney after the Renaissance era.

But the fact he was shunned by the civilians of his game for being the villain but found kinship almost in Venelope who was deemed an outsider in her game for being a glitch was very good. In fact the first half of this movie definitely ranks high for me...but as soon as that liar revealed twist hits it becomes repetitive for me.

As for King Camdy. I give the writers credit as this was a rather genius creation in every aspect except one...the voice.

Now I like Alan Tudyk, I know he's one of the big name voice actors of the last decade and that he voices K2SO in Star Wars who is one of my favourite Star Wars characters...but his choice as King Candy sounds distracting similar to that of the Mad Hatter...because of the characters look as well as the king all you need do is change clothes and they're the same character.

Venelope I enjoyed not just because it was Sarah Silverman finally landing a hit but also because Disney have never really done a character like Venelope. Baring in mind this was 2011 before the likes of Frozen and you have a pseudo princess character who effectively has a glitchy superpower but who is also an outsider and seems to be the mentor of the movie. While some Disney Princesses also have that mentorship role, Benelipe does it in such a way that you don't realise she's the one teaching Ralph the lesson because not even she realises it.

Also Jane Lynch as Sergeant Calhoun was amazing, these characters not only looked like alternate universe versions of the actors voicing them but with Jane Lynch you have never seen her play this type of character before. She's always the comedic whether it be dark or light and sometimes the dramatic but action hero? Never and I loved it.

This was a movie at the time where I had the opportunity to see it for free (after paying for the flights) and I was glad I did. I'm not sure whether or not there are people that still haven't seen it but if you have Disney+ you're in the same boat as I was so I would recommend it.

So what do you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Disney+ What to Watch Top 10s as well as more Top 10 Lists and other posts.