#but I think Maddie probably has the most overlap in who we are and how we operate? but also buck a bit...and like...eddie...

[insecuregodcomplex]

i'm curious: which 911 character do you think you most relate to/resemble in personality or character?

[sepublic]

           I love how by the end of The Third Temple, Sasha no doubt thinks she’s being super-clever and conniving, because Marcy mentions going to Newtopia first, so of COURSE Sasha agrees with this, takes advantage of it, she’s such an opportunist and the girls have no idea they’re playing right into her hands…

           Except! She’s actually being outwitted by MARCY, who’s the actual smart kid… And it’s MARCY who’s thinking that Sasha’s playing into her own hands, and it’s probably Marcy’s gambit that will win out in the end with Andrias and his master; But it’s so damn hilarious because like… They’re both manipulating and playing into each other’s hands, but neither knows the other is up to something! Sasha underestimates Marcy and doesn’t know enough about Andrias, and then Marcy’s just blindly trusting of Sasha, like she probably is of friends who also serve as authority figures in her life in general (case in point Maddie Flour).

           It’s legit hilarious, and the writing’s so clever; Because they both have their own agendas but underestimate the other, and they just so happen to align perfectly… And you can see one being dumb, but really they’re BOTH being simultaneously smart and duped, and amidst the tragedy and betrayal, it’s gonna be low-key funny when Sasha and Marcy’s plots collide into one another awkwardly, as they realize- Oh WHOOPS, we sort of had the same plan, but didn’t? I love it, I love seeing how these characters can have their hidden agendas and how they play into each other at the same time, clashing and conflicting, lowkey agreeing upon the one thing they both need to take down the other, and neither of them even realize it!

           It’s such a complex web of events and intent, and it’s even better that they’re utterly oblivious to the whole thing… Unless Marcy is actually more aware than she lets on, and/or Andrias suspected all of this and told her. Then meanwhile you have Anne caught in the crossfire and confusion and betrayal, and no doubt Sasha and Marcy will ask if SHE had any ulterior motives, and she doesn’t, and it’s so confusing and hard to keep track of… Though I can also see Marcy kind of suspecting it, again from Andrias, but because she also knows about what Sasha did at Toad Tower from Anne, whereas Marcy herself has had no betrayal precedent established.

           But yeah, it’s so damn funny that Sasha is probably thinking “GOTTEM” at poor dumb Marcy who she loves, but actually Marcy’s been four parallel universes ahead of her this whole time, freaking MARCY, and while Anne and Sasha duel it out… They’re totally missing out on the ACTUAL girl who’s playing them all for fools, and her con is likely aided by the fact that she legit doesn’t mean malice, nor does Marcy even think what she’s doing is wrong and manipulative! Again, it’s SUCH clever, twist-and-turns writing that overlaps and sews across, little plot threads coming across… Utterly brilliant, I love it!

          Now we’ll have to see who adapts to the chaos and the heat-of-the-moment better… Or at least, who’s able to get Anne on THEIR side, and that answer’s likely a lot more obvious. In addition to Sasha also having to deal with Andrias and HIS machinations, which are guiding Marcy’s… And the Toad Rebellion ain’t looking so good, if that one shot of Yunnan and a bunch of downed Toads is any indication. This is just taking Suspicion Island to a WHOLE new level, and Marcy’s the one that everybody missed and overlooked, they thought SHE was the fool, when in reality she was playing them all… Not maliciously nor super intentionally, but she’s operating on Andrias’ orders, so y’know.

          Even if Sasha could come toe-to-toe with Marcy, it’s a different issue if she doesn’t even anticipate the attack to begin with, doesn’t even realize Marcy’s a combatant and player in the ring herself; And THAT surprise is going to blindside her, before Sasha has the chance to adapt and make use of her own strength to win what should normally be a straight-forward conflict. Grime praised Sasha for playing Flip-Wart while the rest did Bog-Jump, but it seems it was MARCY who was actually doing this the entire time; Fitting, how she’s the only one we see who knows about the game and actually played it!

          Sasha could easily take on Marcy in a battle of strength, but that’s why Marcy has Anne to do this for her… Sasha, alas, for all of her seeming manipulations, is fundamentally more brute force than anything else; Which means she’s no match for Marcy’s wit, at least in conjunction with Andrias’ scheming! Marcy won’t meet Sasha on the battlefield, it’s Anne who’ll do that for her, leaving Sasha vulnerable on the tactical front… Hopefully Grime can help, but when there’s also the hidden ace-up-the-sleeve that is whatever Andrias is serving, and things don’t look too good for the Toad Rebellion!

          Just when we thought it was Marcy who was the mediator who’d turn the tides between Anne and Sasha… It seems it’s actually ANNE who’s the mediator, to turn the tides between Sasha and Marcy! It’s all up to, and all down to, Boonchuy… And alas, I don’t think Sasha can count on Anne for support at such a crucial moment junction, not when Anne can’t the same in return. It’s always the ones who seem silly and harmless that you gotta look out for… Well, them, and the giant Newt King who’s been alive longer than anyone else; Him, AND whatever’s in that basement…!

           I’ll say it again- But the way this all overlaps and fits perfectly into a place like a puzzle, all of it no doubt painstakingly planned out, so it all seems perfect and obvious to each person to do this... It’s SUCH fiendishly clever writing, and I admire it! I can almost see this as being additional karma for Sasha, who possibly low-key looked down on Marcy, or thought of her as dumb, given her apathy to Marcy’s own antics back home, and even mentioning that she’d get herself killed. Well, Sash, look who’s blindly following the path into danger, and will need to be saved by Anne, THIS time...! Guess you shouldn’t have underestimated Marcy and given her as much consideration and time of day, and respect, as Anne did... In general you need to take cues from Anne, actually. For all of Anne’s issues, she’s somehow the most well-rounded of the trio, and that is of course a CONCERNING relativity...

It’s just this total clash and train wreck of differing interests, circumstances and opportunities, accidents and twists that nobody could account for, and blind spots, all coming and crashing together into utter chaos, a mess nobody can predict, debris and shrapnel of characters and new plot points flying all over the place, and you can’t tear your eyes away from it as you watch in fascinated horror, utterly engrossed. I look FORWARD to this, the drama and weaving of threads makes me excited for the final picture and the completed puzzle...!

[coupsnim]

Here’s another ask game for caratblr! Assign your moots as seventeen comeback aesthetics (can include solos, OSTs, collabs, Japanese comebacks, etc) and say why you associate them with that aesthetic! Some can overlap too!

 this was harder and took me way more than expected ahah I decided to go through svt mvs and see if they reminded me of my mutuals, but there are a few songs that I couldn’t associate with anyone so I left them out 🙈

🌼 adore u ~ chey @soonhoonsol ↳ chey is one of the first people that I followed (and probably my first mutual) but this is not the only reason why I associate her with adore u. the song is fun and has a youthful vibe, which reminds me of her, but in the mv we also see a lot of scenes that are not linked to one another and that made me think of chey’s various interests and groups she likes ahah and of course adore u has a special place in every carat’s heart and so does chey (at least here on tumblr ahah)

🌼 mansae ~ cora @ohoshi ↳ I haven’t followed cora for a very long time, but as soon as I watched mansae I thought of her. mansae has the same youthful vibe as adore u but it’s also very energetic and when it hits the chorus it puts you automatically in a good mood, and this is what happens everytime I see cora’s tags under my posts. also her creations are always colourful just like the mv and the members’ hair for this comeback ahah

🌼 pretty u ~ lyns @kyeomshine ↳ I think lyns’ style fits pretty u the best. the mv is fun but it also has a romantic vibe, like one of those coming-of-age movies, which reminds me so much of her creations. moreover, they applied a sepia tone to the mv and whenever I think of sepia I think of lyns ahah

🌼 love letter ~ lee @uriboogyu ↳ love letter is a cute and fun mv, with bright and pastel colours, so when I watched it my mind went straight to the cutest person I follow. and that person is lee. she works so hard to bring new content and to engage with other people as well, her whole blog is like a love letter to svt.

🌼 very nice ~ yza @jonghan ↳ I think aju nice reflects a lot of my mutuals’ vibe, but when I watched the mv I immediately thought of yza. it’s just her and her 13 biases ahah (I know she says she has a bias line but no one actually believes her). the colours in the mv are bright and a bit more saturated compared to previous mvs, which reminds me of her gifs, and the song is fun and upbeat, just like her personality. I think yza fits perfectly with aju nice.

🌼 healing ~ mirelle @leechaerok ↳ to be honest, I don’t need to watch the mv to associate this song to mirelle. she is just such a nice presence on my dash, I’m happy to see her even when she doesn’t post about seventeen. what I like about her is her positivite attitude, her optimism, and the fact that she always has a nice word for everyone. every time I see one of her posts, I immediately feel at ease.

🌼 boomboom ~ emily @iiasha ↳ there are two main reasons why I thought of emily while watching boomboom: jun looks amazing and there’s a lot of technology involved ahah also the video starts out mysterious but then turns out to be funny and a bit silly (and super cool if we include the choreography) and I think this describes exactly how I see emily ahah

🌼 don’t wanna cry ~ carrie @art-hao ↳ don’t wanna cry is one of my favourite mv and I think it matches perfectly with carrie’s style. it’s simple but impactful, and the colour palette and colour grading are gorgeous and well thought in every scene, just like every single creation carrie has posted on tumblr.

🌼 change up ~ zai @icecreamscxups ↳ I don’t really know, maybe it’s because of her change up gifsets, but I immediately thought of zai as soon as I clicked on the mv. I just get change up vibes from her ahah

🌼 habit ~ oona @vernons ↳ oona is a quiet and peaceful but constant presence on my dashboard, she’s seems chill and I like when she shares her other interests outside seventeen. she’s that calm mutual who creates the perfect balance with the more chaotic ones, that’s why I associate her with habit.

🌼 clap ~ dasha @smallkore ↳ clap is a really creative and fun mv and I immediately associated it with all dasha’s gfx. she is one of my favourite content creator, all her ideas are so original and well executed, just like clap mv. I hope she’ll come back soon because I really miss her content!

🌼 thanks ~ kale @choibeomgyus ↳ thanks is another one of my favourite mv, I really love the storyline and the atmosphere. I actually don’t know why I thought of kale as I watched it, but I think her style (which I adore) fits with thanks general vibe.

🌼 just do it ~ isa @kwanies ↳ just do it doesn’t really have an official mv, but I still wanted to include it because I think the lyrics are perfect for isa! I can’t really explain further, as I don’t really know her, but that’s the vibe I get from her ahah

🌼 oh my ~ sofi @scoups ↳ the first thing I associate with oh my is summer, and that’s something that reminds me of sofi’s aesthetic as well. seeing her colourful and bright posts makes me as happy as listening to oh my!

🌼 holiday ~ sarah @dkymm ↳ another song that is perfect for summer (and one of my favourite song ever). I think that sarah fits holiday‘s concept the best, even though I can’t really explain why. maybe it’s because I associate dokyeom stan with bright songs, or maybe it’s just the vibe I get from her, laid back and funny without trying too hard.

🌼 home ~ genesis @shineesbag ↳ I don’t think home concept fits genesis, but she’s still the first person that I thought of when I watched the mv. she’s the only one out of all my mutuals that follows all my blogs (thank you!) and we like more or less the same groups/people, so I just feel really comfortable when I see her on my dash (although we never actually talked). she’s a reassuring presence on my dash and one of my favourite blogs, just like home is one of my favoutie songs.

🌼 hit ~ anna @haniehae ↳ the reason why I associate anna with hit is quite obvious: anna is a dancer and hit has probably the hardest choreography. at first I thought that she would fit don’t wanna cry as well, since the choreography for that song is amazing, but I also feel that hit reflects more her style. I have two left feet, so I admire people that can dance, and anna dances very well!

🌼 fallin’ flower ~ célia @delicatecy and mary @efflorescing-mary ↳ the first person I associate with my all time favourite svt concept is célia (who is the first person I followed on this blog). her style is so elegant, so classy, so (as her url says) delicate. I love it as much as I love fallin’ flower, she is one of my favourite content creator and although she’s not active, I sometimes go on her blog to have a look at all her masterpieces. ↳ the second person I associate with this concept is mary. fallin’ flower is pure poetry, so of course it reminds me of her and her poems!

🌼 snap shoot ~ rhys @heartgyus ↳ me and rhys have been mutuals for less than a month, so I can’t say that I really know her. but I often see her on my dash and I think her personality fits snap shoot, both the song and the mv. also since the video was made by mingyu, my mind probably made a link between the two ahah

🌼 my my ~ maddie @kyeomblr ↳ another personal favourite, my my is a cute and bright song with a cute and bright mv. as I said, I tend to associate dokyeom stan to this kind of songs and I think this concept fits maddie! (I saw it was your birthday yesterday, so happy belated birthday!)

🌼 left and right ~ dreamy @scoupsy ↳ as soon as I watched left and right, dreamy was the first person that came to my mind. not only the concept reminds me of her style, but the song reflects her personality too I think. also left and right is coups’ first comeback after hiatus, so it holds a special place in my heart.

🌼 24h ~ zay @dk-s ↳ zay’s style and her colouring in particular really remind me of 24h. it’s dark without being too dark (like fear, for instance) and it’s quite elegant. also black and red is a colour scheme I associate with zay in general, so the outfits svt wore in the dance scene instantly made me think of her.

🌼 side by side ~ alicia @myungho ↳ that’s cheating, I know, but there’s only one person I can associate to side by side and that’s alicia. not only because she’s the resident myungho stan on my dash, but also the mv reminds me of her witty personality!

🌼 not alone ~ belle @xuseokgyu and nele @seohoshi ↳ the first person I thought of while watching not alone is belle. she’s the most supportive mutual, she always showers me with compliments, even when I post the simplest gifset, and she always makes sure to reblog my content even if it gets 2 notes. she surely makes me feel less alone sometimes. ↳ and I associate this song to nele too for a similar reason, but it’s a more general feeling I get from her. we don’t interact much, but when I see her tags on other people’s posts as well, she’s always so supporting and she always catches the smallest details. she really makes you feel like the time you spent on your content is not wasted.

[tripleaxeldiaz]

subtle as a brick in the small of my back

Eddie’s proposing to Buck. The whole team finds out first. It goes about as well as expected (not well at all)

Or: 5 times the team almost blows Eddie’s cover, and 1 time it’s already blown

read on ao3

In retrospect, Eddie really did this to himself.

But, in his defense, he had to tell Maddie — she was Buck’s sister, his only blood relative, and the only one who would honestly tell him if the ring was horribly ugly. And he had to tell Bobby — the guy was practically Buck’s step-father, and he wanted to avoid any possible lecture from his mother about not being “considerate” or “chivalrous” when it came to asking a man’s pseudo son to marry him.

He should have known, however, that it wasn’t just telling those two — he should have known it was telling Bobby, who would tell Athena, who would tell Hen, who would tell Chimney, who had already heard it from Maddie, and who was now practically skipping around the firehouse announcing it to everyone else.

Eddie watches from the kitchen as Chim flits around like a damn bumblebee spreading the good news about Buck and Eddie’s pending engagement. He’s not a holy man, but he prays to whoever is listening that Buck doesn’t find out until Eddie actually gets to ask him himself.

Whoever hears him has the worst sense of humor.

Buck and Eddie don’t like to be apart after bad calls.

This one could have been worse — four car pile up in the carpool lane with three critical injuries, all kids. They were in the ICU and expected to make full recoveries, but it’s still not easy pulling mangled bodies the same size as Christoper out of wrecked cars.

They sat close in the truck coming back to the station, thighs pressed together, shoulders overlapping. They changed together in the locker room, never far away enough that they couldn’t feel the others’ warmth. They climbed the stairs together to the lounge, Eddie’s hand around Buck’s wrist, making sure he stayed upright until they could fall onto the couch.

They’re better now, overall. They checked in with Carla and Chris (who were apparently in the process of an intricate arts and crafts project that required hot glue and a pound of glitter. Eddie can’t wait to clean that out of the house for the next 10 years). The TV in the lounge is softly playing a rerun of Chopped. Eddie is sitting in the corner of the couch, feet on the coffee table, fingers running through Buck’s short hair where his head is settled in his lap. His other hand rests on Buck’s chest, right over his heart, and he listens to Buck’s critical commentary of each chef’s use of ingredients. They know the bell will probably ring in the next 15 minutes and they’ll be right back in the truck, but for now they sink into this brief moment of peace.

Eddie’s so focused on the show and Buck’s apparently extensive knowledge of ways to prepare salmon that he doesn’t even notice Bobby coming over until the couch dips as he sits down.

“You boys doing okay?” he asks, a soft smile on his lips. Buck adjusts to see him better, sitting up to lean on Eddie’s chest, Eddie’s arm slung over his shoulder.

“Yeah, we’re good. Chris has a surprise craft for us when we get home, though I think the mess he makes will be more surprising than anything else.”

Eddie huffs out a laugh, craning his neck to kiss the crown of Buck’s head. When he looks back at Bobby, the look the captain has on his face seems...sentimental. A little too sentimental, if Eddie’s being honest.

Buck must notice it too. He cocks his head and asks, “Are you okay Cap? You’re lookin’ a little misty over there.”

Bobby smiles and shakes his head, eyes shining. “I’m good, kid. Just...really excited for you guys.”

Eddie narrows his eyes. That’s a weird thing to say.

“Excited?” Buck asks, cocking his head even more. “What, that we didn’t get crushed on the highway?”

Bobby laughs. “Well yeah, of course. But also, you know, just excited that you guys have each other to lean on in the bad times like this. And you’ll have each other for a really long time. Forever, hopefully.”

Now Eddie’s eyes are wide in panic. Seriously? You’ll have each other for a really long time? He gives Bobby a look over Buck’s head that hopefully reads as If you don’t stop talking right now I’ll spray you with the hose and I won’t even feel bad about it.

Buck — beautiful, slightly oblivious Buck — just turns to look at Eddie, a smile lighting up his face (a relief to see after the past few hours). “Yeah, I’m pretty excited about that too.”

Eddie melts a little, returning Buck’s smile. Before he can fully respond, the bell rings, and Buck jumps to his feet. He stretches, shaking off any lingering cobwebs of their last call before heading into another one. He kisses Eddie’s cheek as he passes to head to the stairs.

He watches him bound down to the truck, still smiling, before turning to Bobby with narrowed eyes again.

“I’m pretty sure my 11 year old is better at being subtle than you are.”

Bobby claps his shoulder as he follows Buck to the stairs. “Don’t worry, I don’t think he noticed anything. Consider that a precursor to my speech at the wedding.”

Eddie sighs, hopes he’s right, and follows the team to the truck.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie stares at Maddie’s kitchen island in the same awestruck confusion he usually has on Buffridays. This week’s spread consists of lasagna, garlic knots, summer rolls, banh mi, tacos, and what he’s pretty sure is fried cheesecake. He feels Buck come up next to him, hip checking him as he gets one of everything on his plate before returning to the couch to pick their movie for the night. Eddie follows suit, skipping the cheesecake but promising he’ll come back later, before dropping down next to his boyfriend, who immediately turns and gives him a quick peck on the temple.

Eddie does not blush and smile like an idiot, despite this being a regular thing that has occurred for the entire two year duration of their relationship. He doesn’t. He’s totally used to how much and how openly Buck loves him. It’s fine.

Maddie walks over while they bicker about what movie to watch and sits on Buck’s other side. She clears her throat, halting their argument between Booksmart and Heathers, and pulls something out of her pocket.

Buck turns toward her and freezes. Eddie looks over as well and sees her holding a scrap of dark blue fabric. It’s inky and rich and speckled with white dots, almost like…

“The Milky Way Dress? Maddie, I can’t believe you still have this, why—”

“I finally got around to cleaning out the last of my boxes, pretty much a bunch of old stuff I was not ready to deal with when I left.” She smiles, wistful and a little sad. “I found this and just thought it was time to pass it on to you.”

Buck’s in shock, Eddie can tell. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open like it did the first time Christopher referred to the two of them as “his dads”, or like it did when Eddie told him that he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together (and no that was not a proposal, Eddie was hopped up on drugs after falling off a second story roof at a call. He barely remembers it, save for the look on Buck’s face. Doesn’t count.).

Buck takes the fabric reverently, turning it in his hands and running it through his fingers. He turns to Eddie, a soft smile on his face, and Eddie places his hand on his thigh reassuringly. He can tell there’s a story, and he’s happy to wait until Buck’s ready to share.

“This is— wow. So my grandma was one of the main people who raised me, along with Maddie. And she was crazy in the best way, very Miss Frizzle. She used to make all her own clothes with crazy fabric, and she always made me a matching shirt or belt or something. She got this Milky Way fabric once, and I was just obsessed with it, I wouldn’t shut up about it. So she went all out — she made me a shirt, a belt, a tie, a damn suit out of the stuff. I wore them as much as humanly possible for the next few years before my parents ‘accidentally’ donated them away.”

“You wore that suit for picture day until you were 13,” Maddie reminds him.

“Yeah, exactly.” Buck laughs wetly, wiping at his eyes. “But Grandma loved it as much as I did and always wore the matching dress when I came to visit. When she died when I was 16, she made it very clear in her will that she wanted to be buried in that dress. And Maddie, genius that she is, cut some scraps off the dress so we could always have a part of her. I lost mine in one of my billion moves, but now…”

“I kept part of this scrap too, but I wanted to give most of it to you,” Maddie says. “I know how close you two were. I used it as my ‘something old’ and ‘something blue’ at my wedding, so I figured you could use it too for...I don’t know, something. Down the line.”

She catches Eddie’s eye in a silent apology. He’s glad she caught herself because he’s still a little too wrapped up in watching Buck relive all these obviously happy memories to register much of anything else going on.

He watches Buck for a little longer as he folds the fabric back up, placing it in his back pocket. He turns and wraps his sister in a patented Buckley Bear Hug, laughing as he kisses the top of her head.

“Thank you, Mads. Seriously, this is...perfect. It’s just perfect.”

“Of course, I’m just glad I found it for you. And seriously, don’t lose it. I have a feeling you’re going to need it soon.” She pats his cheek fondly, sending a not so sly wink to Eddie.

Eddie somehow manages to keep his groan in his head as Buck settles between them again, picking up the remote.

“Alright gang, I really think the only way we’ll be able to balance out all this sappy stuff is with the glorious violence of Heathers…”

~~~~~~~~~~

Laughter erupts as soon as Eddie gets to the front door of the Grant-Nash house, so he waits a minute before knocking. The door swings open, and he’s greeted by the sounds of soft jazz, the smells of home cooking, and the vision of his boyfriend looking happy, relaxed, and definitely buzzed.

“Ah, my knight in shining armor, come to fetch me away!” Buck smiles his lopsided smile as he lets Eddie in and kisses him soundly. He tastes like Merlot and chocolate and just Buck. Eddie’s pretty sure he can get drunk off that taste alone.

“More like your chauffeur in a shining Silverado, but being a knight sounds much more fun.” Buck falls into a fit of giggles, his head collapsing onto Eddie’s shoulder, and Eddie can’t help but laugh along with him. Few things fill him with as much joy as seeing Buck so unabashedly happy, and he’ll relish in it for as long as he can, whenever he can.

Buck grabs his hand and pulls him towards the kitchen. “Come sit, Athena said she has some wedding stuff for me before we go.”

Eddie’s stomach drops past his feet, possibly all the way to the center of the earth.

His internal monologue goes off the rails — dammit he should have asked by now, none of the big romantic plans he’s come up with seem good enough so he just keeps waiting, but maybe since it’s all ruined he’ll just do it tomorrow morning when they’re eating breakfast or tomorrow night after they put Chris to bed, and Jesus Christ he should never tell any of their friends anything ever again—

Pull it together, Diaz. Be chill. Maybe it’s nothing. Of all people, Athena would never break a secret so easily. She’s a cop for crying out loud.

“Wedding stuff?” he asks in a voice way too squeaky to ever be considered “chill”.

Thankfully, alcohol is an exceptional buffer to Buck noticing Eddie in a full on crisis. He turns to him with bright eyes and says, “Yeah, for Maddie! She told Athena she’s been dropping hints to Chim for a while now and thinks he’ll pop the question soon. She wants to get a jump start on things so they can have the wedding by the end of the year.”

Well now he’s pissed for an entirely different reason.

Before he can hit send on a text to Chim — what the hell dude are you trying to steal my thunder??? — Athena comes back to the table with three boxes full of binders, pamphlets, and fabric samples. Eddie stands to help, and she gives him a look he can’t quite read before flashing a smile at Buck.

“This should be everything Bobby had. There’s lists of venues with how many people they hold and how much they charge for food. There’s samples for place settings, centerpieces, and decorations. And there’s lists of bakeries for the cake, plus what allergies they can cater to and price estimates. I hope to God there are no other boxes but if there are, I’ll let you know.”

“Wow,” Buck marvels as he flips through a book of flower arrangements. “Bobby really doesn’t half-ass anything, does he?”

Athena chuckles as she finishes the last of her wine. “No he does not. Sometimes it’s a gift, sometimes it’s a curse that clutters up my closet for three years.”

“Well thanks very much Athena, I know Maddie will be thrilled to not plan a second wedding completely from scratch.” He hugs her tight and kisses her cheek before grabbing a box and heading to the door. “I’ll keep these safe for her until Chim gets his ass in gear. Babe, can you get the other two?”

Eddie’s already in the process of grabbing them before Buck finishes his question. He smiles soft and bright when he sees, kissing Eddie’s temple. “You really are my knight in shining armor.”

Eddie’s sure he’s got hearts in his eyes as he watches Buck leave and load up the truck. He’s only able to turn away when he feels Athena come up next to him.

“Speaking of getting asses in gear…”

“I know,” Eddie sighs. “I’m working on it. I just...it needs to be perfect. That’s what he deserves.”

“Honey, it’ll be perfect because it’s you asking. That’s all he cares about. Don’t think too hard about it.”

“Well looks like I have to do it sooner rather than later anyway. I cannot believe Chim’s gonna—”

“Oh, he’s not.”

Eddie squints. “He’s not?”

“No, those are for you guys, not Maddie. I really needed them out of the house and didn’t know how long I’d be waiting.” She levels Eddie with a look again, and he somehow feels like he’s 16 and his mom wasn’t “mad” at him for doing something dumb, just “disappointed”. “I already gave Maddie a heads up so she’ll play along. Just try to ask him before we all start going grey, okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” She smiles and pats his cheek before leading him out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve seen these in person since I was in high school,” Buck says as Hen sits down across from him at the kitchen table, dropping a bunch of small, thick packages Eddie can’t quite see from his post at the coffee machine.

He blearily grabs the two cups of coffee he made, making his way over to the table. He places one mug in front of Buck, earning him a relieved smile and wink as he sits down, looking over to see what Hen brought in. The table is covered in developed pictures from old disposable cameras, dozens of glossy frames of people in suits and cocktail dresses laughing, a beautiful dessert table, something that looks suspiciously like a conga line.

“Are these from an old LAFD gala or something?” Eddie asks as Buck snorts out a laugh. He holds a picture up so Eddie can see Chimney with a tie around his head, perched on someone’s shoulders, yelling at something out of frame. “Oh that’s definitely getting blown up to poster size.”

“Actually,” Hen says, “these are from mine and Karen’s wedding.”

Eddie freezes mid sip of coffee, eyes snapping to Hen, who just stares back at him with feigned innocence and barely concealed glee. Hen’s smart, smarter than all of them put together, and while he knows she won’t tell Buck anything outright, he also knows she is thoroughly enjoying this opportunity to make Eddie squirm.

“Whoa,” Buck says. “There’s got to be at least a thousand pictures here. How’d you get so many in one night?”

“We had a few cameras on every table and told the guests to go nuts. We have some professional shots of the reception, but we wanted to see it how everyone else saw it too. And we decided to wait until our 10 year anniversary to get them developed so we could have a little walk down memory lane.”

“Huh, that’s a pretty good idea,” Buck murmurs thoughtfully, still absorbed in all the pictures in front of him. Eddie agrees, the cameras are a great idea, and he tucks that into the filing cabinets of his brain to use when they have their wedding.

If they ever have their wedding.

Eddie’s working on it. Really. He’s got the skeleton of a plan that will be beautiful and romantic and not too big, but big enough that Buck will know without a doubt how much Eddie loves him. So it’ll be soon, okay? Very soon. As long as someone doesn’t ruin everything before his plan can actually get set into motion.

He sees Hen’s smile get bigger, like she can see Eddie’s brain starting to overheat a little.

She leans over the table, pointing to one of the pictures. “I also recommend doing a dessert table instead of a big ugly cake. You can do a bunch of good stuff too like cupcakes, pie, we just went to a wedding with a candy bar…”

“A candy bar!?” Buck looks at Eddie like a kid on Christmas, and Eddie files that idea away too (while also noting that he’ll have to remind Buck that they probably can’t only have gummy worms at a candy bar).

“And you guys should definitely have a live band, they’re much better at getting people to dance than a DJ.”

Eddie clocks the “you guys” and starts sweating a little more. Hen notices too, eyes widening at Eddie like she knows she went a little too far.

Buck, by some miracle, still seems caught up in the fantasy of a 12-foot table covered in gummy worms.

He looks at Hen, eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t think a DJ is better? I feel like they have way better music usually. Live bands have, like, the same seven songs, and one of them is always ‘Footloose’.”

They continue to debate the pros and cons as Eddie stands to put his mug in the sink, squeezing Buck’s shoulder as he passes. Buck grabs his hand, kissing the inside of his wrist before letting him go, all without breaking conversation on whether “Shout!” or “The Macarena” is a more annoying song. Eddie’s stomach flutters like it always does with Buck’s absentminded displays of affection, but the butterflies also seem to be saying It’s time to get your shit together and ask this man for his hand in marriage, idiot.

Eddie closes his eyes, resting his head on the cabinet above the sink.

The butterflies are right. A little rude, but still right.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie knew Chimney was going to be the hardest loose end to round up.

He had stood at the top of the stairs, arms crossed, as Chim came up after telling the station (and probably the entire city of Los Angeles) that Eddie and Buck were getting engaged. “Chim, man, look—”

“No worries, Eddie,” Chim said, holding a hand up to cut Eddie off. “Cross my heart, I will not say a word to Buck. I’m sure you have something big and sappy in the works, and I will not be the person to screw that up.”

Eddie deflated a bit, still eyeing Chim warily. Chim just smiled back, clapping a hand on his shoulder and squeezing reassuringly. “Look, I’m so, so happy for you guys. You’ve both been through the ringer and still managed to find each other and create a beautiful life for yourselves. You guys really deserve it, and I—” He cleared his throat as his eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth like he wanted to keep going, but he pulled Eddie into a tight hug instead.

“Thanks Chim, that’s...that’s really sweet.” Eddie felt his voice crack around the lump in his throat as he patted his friend on the back. They pulled away, laughing quietly and wiping their eyes.

“Plus,” Chimney said, punching Eddie softly on the shoulder, “we’re basically in-laws now, so there’s definitely a bro code. Add that to the firefighter bro code, and I’m double coded, man.”

“So you’ll...double keep the secret?”

“Exactly.” Chim patted his back as he walked toward the kitchen. Eddie watched him go, still trying to put together the double code thing that was definitely not actually a thing.

In his own weird way, Chim had seemed sincere in keeping his mouth shut. Eddie really thought that had been that.

That had most certainly not been that.

Because since Chim couldn’t let out his excitement with words, he had to let it out in other ways.

Namely, tears. An ungodly amount of tears.

The whole team is in the lounge, flipping channels until they land on Say Yes to the Dress. Chim blinks at the TV, then whips his head to where Buck and Eddie are squished together on the couch. Eddie catches his gaze, watching his eyes begin to water before he’s up and running down the stairs. Hen barks out a laugh and tries to hide it in a cough. Bobby shakes his head and looks toward the sky, either asking God for strength or to smite him where he sits.

They’re at the kitchen table early in the morning, heads bent together as Buck shows Eddie a TikTok on his phone (Eddie doesn’t get the deal with these things, but they make Buck laugh so hard he snorts so he’ll allow it). They’re startled by a strangled sob from across the room and look up to see Chim rushing past them to the coffee machine rubbing his eyes, his shoulders still shaking as he adds milk to his mug. Buck shoots Eddie a confused look, and Eddie just shrugs helplessly before shooting a death glare to the back of Chim’s head.

Buck and Chim are chatting in the locker room when Eddie arrives for shift, dropping his bag next to Buck and giving him a quick peck hello on the cheek. Buck smiles at him, reaching up to push back a lock of hair that had fallen on Eddie’s forehead in his hustle to be on time (he’s growing his hair out again because he likes it that way, okay, not because Buck told him he looked like a sexy Superman when it was longer). They turn back to Chim in time to see tears begin to fall in earnest, which he quickly blames on allergies before scooting past them and out of the room.

“Is Chim like...good?” Buck asks, watching Chim walk away blowing his nose in his shirt. All Eddie had done was smile (probably a little dreamily) at some dumb joke Buck made, but that was enough apparently.

“He’s fine,” Eddie replies quickly. “He’s just...you know. Going through it. I guess.”

Bobby snorts from behind the stove as he flips a grilled cheese.

Buck sighs. “Should we remind him about therapy at least? I’m just worried he’s gonna be perpetually dehydrated or something.”

“I don’t know if therapy is what he needs,” Bobby says, looking pointedly at Eddie. Eddie throws a napkin at him.

Buck turns to Bobby confused but is quickly distracted by the hot sandwich placed in front of him. They launch into a debate on the best combination of cheese for a grilled cheese, Chim’s hydration levels seemingly forgotten.

Luckily for everyone, they’re almost in the clear. Reservations have been made, Chris’s sleeping arrangements have been confirmed, and Eddie’s even picked out an outfit. Everything is finally ready.

Eddie’s excited, more excited than he can remember being in a very long time, possibly since Christopher was born.

He also feels like he’s gonna hurl.

Hopefully that’s a good sign.

~~~~~~~~~~

He settled on recreating their first official date. It’s just cheesy enough that Buck will get a kick out of telling the story over and over and simple enough that Eddie can handle everything without involving one single other person.

It’s really nothing crazy: dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant and watching the sunset on the beach, brown bagging a bottle of wine like they’re in college. Eddie even knows what he’s going to say already, going over it again and again in his head so he can get everything out perfectly.

That first date, Eddie had accidentally told Buck he loved him. He hadn’t planned on it at all, but the words had been bubbling under his skin for so long at that point it was a relief to get them out in the open. He was immediately terrified he had said them too fast, too soon, but Buck simply pushed him back into the sand and kissed him soft and sincere, more teeth than anything once they both gave up on holding back their smiles.

He doesn’t want to be so caught off guard by his own brain this time. Not for something this important.

But that all has to wait until tomorrow.

Tonight, Chris is with Abuela (who slyly offered to keep him all weekend so Eddie and Buck could “celebrate properly”, which Eddie was both thankful for and mortified by, hearing from his grandma), they had ordered Chinese, and are now watching a movie that (blessedly) has no cartoon characters randomly bursting into song.

It’s normal, domestic, something they do at least once a week.

And yet Eddie feels like his skin is on fire, his heart beating so fast he’s sure it’ll break through his ribs at any moment.

He’s looking at Buck, feels his chest on his back, his strong arm around his shoulders, drawing absent-minded shapes across his chest as his attention is focused on Bill and Ted meeting Rufus in the phone booth for the first time. The light of the TV highlights Buck’s jaw and cheekbones, casts an ethereal glow on his unkempt curls. He laughs at something, a rumble deep in his chest, head tipping back slightly exposing the long line of his neck.

He’s beautiful. Stunning, inside and out. The most amazing thing that has ever deemed Eddie worthy of attention and love, aside from his son.

And if he doesn’t ask him to be his forever right now, this minute, he’s absolutely going to explode.

He’s off the couch and striding toward the bedroom before his brain even tries to stop him. He hears Buck faintly call, “Baby? Are you okay?” but is too busy rifling through his sock drawer to answer. He holds the blue velvet box firmly in his hand and takes a deep breath.

He had been waiting and planning and trying his damnedest to keep this all under wraps so by the time he asked, everything would be perfectly romantic and swoon-worthy, a story they could tell their kids and grandkids and great-grandkids to inspire them to find a love like theirs. A moment so perfect that there would be no doubts about how desperately Eddie needs Buck in his life until he’s buried in the ground, and probably even after that. Buck deserves to know that Eddie would go to the ends of the earth to make him happy, have it spelled out in the stars just how deeply he makes Eddie feel loved and safe, and that he’d do anything to make sure Buck feels that in return, always.

But, really, they’ve never been perfect. They’re messy sometimes, and gritty. Too loud or too soft or too much or not enough. They push and pull at each other in good and bad ways, sometimes too far, but sometimes just enough that they come out even better together and apart than they were before.

They’ve never been conventional. So why bother starting now?

When he comes back to the living room, Buck is standing, movie paused, worrying at his hands as he watches Eddie walk in. He freezes as Eddie comes up to him before sinking to one knee, eyes widening as the box opens, revealing a simple, black, titanium band.

And then he’s laughing. Full body, shoulders shaking, like Eddie getting ready to bare his heart and soul to him is the funniest damn thing in the world.

Before he can dive too deeply into his wounded pride, Buck’s kneeling too, placing his hands on either cheek, eyes bright with a little mischief and a lot of love as he says, “It’s about damn time, Diaz.”

Eddie blinks, feels his shoulders slump a little. He wishes he was surprised, but he’s really not.

“Who told you?”

“Oh, no one told me, like, specifically. But Maddie finding our grandma’s dress? And Athena conveniently having all of their old wedding planning stuff? Plus, Chim hasn’t been able to look at me without crying for weeks. I don’t know if you know this, but our friends are really bad at being low key.”

Oh, Eddie knows. He had just been hoping (in vain, it seems) that Buck didn’t.

He breathes out a laugh and shakes his head, leaning into Buck’s hands still framing his face. “Well, can I at least do my speech? I have it memorized and everything. It was supposed to be for tomorrow, but…” He gestures vaguely, encompassing the whole, beautiful mess this has turned into.

“Of course you can,” Buck says, his smile growing by the second. “But hurry up, because I can’t wait to marry the shit out of you.”

And who is Eddie to argue with that?

He takes one of Buck’s hands, squeezing tight. He already knows the answer, but that doesn’t make him any less nervous.

“Evan Buckley, you are the most amazing man I have ever met in my life, and probably the most annoying.” Buck laughs again at that, and Eddie feels all of his insides swoop, his heart filling with so much adoration it’s probably about to crack. “You are unendingly selfless, unbelievably headstrong, kind and gentle, but would kill a man for the people you love without thinking twice. You have shown me more about what it means to love and be loved than I ever thought I could know. You are also responsible for about 75% of my grey hairs.” They’re both crying now, not even bothering to wipe the tears away, wearing them like badges of honor for each other. “You make me a better firefighter, a better friend, a better father, and a better man. I want to spend the rest of my life making sure you know how much I love you, every minute of every hour of every day.” He takes the ring out of the box, holding it up between them. “I want to have your back forever. Will you marry me?”

He barely has the question out before Buck is tackling him to the floor, kissing him so deeply he feels it in his atoms. He gets the ring on at some point, lips never leaving Buck’s, and they get lost in each other, in happiness, in love, in excitement at getting to spend their lives together, as a family.

Nothing leading up to this was perfect. But he wouldn’t trade any of it — their chaotic lives, their ups and downs, their crazy, unsubtle family — for anything in the world.

But next time he’s planning a surprise, he will absolutely be keeping it to himself.

[himbo-buckley]

what are your thoughts on what maddie says about her and buck's parents, that they were "good people, bad parents"? bc idk if it's just me but I can't get my head around that lmao, I can't understand how they can still be good people if they're bad parents, the two just can't go together for me, so another perspective would be interesting!

Hello friend 🥰

Oh, that is quite a question, isn’t it? Damn I just got out of work but you’re making me think deep thoughts here…

I think that is actually a question were we cannot find a unifying answer to - because like you said for you being a good person and a bad parent aren’t compatible, but for me they are. And I think we’d first have to define what everyone thinks constituents a good person and what constitutes bad parents!

For me a good example of that is Shannon Diaz who, in my opinion, is a good person. She means well and she tries hard but she is quite frankly an awful mother. Yes, she was put in horrible situation after horrible situation and she broke on that - which is something human and cannot be begrudged - but she left her child for several years and while she did try to reconnect and she was learning, she wouldn’t haven contacted Eddie on her own. She came back because the opportunity arose not because she tried to get back to them. (She could have become a good mother but she never got the chance.)

In the same vain I think Bobby pulled a lot of shit back in Minnesota but he still seemed to be a loving and kind father - so my question to you, friend, would be: do you consider Bobby a good person (the Bobby prior to Season 1 mostly)? Despite being the type of person who went to work drunk and / or high and by this endangering others and himself? Because I don’t think so yet the show frames him as a good person despite his downfalls (and I am not saying being an addict makes someone a bad person but I am saying knowingly endangering others does) - and if you think someone cannot be a good person but a bad parent, can someone who is a bad person also not be a good person?

See, one thing I learned working with children is that some people just aren’t made to be parents, and I am not talking about my time with child services, i am talking as a kindergarten teacher. Some people are very nice and they try hard but damn, parenting does not come natural to them and I worry how this will develop in the future. Like one of my mom’s is severely depressed and she might have Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy which doesn’t make her a bad person - but a bad parent at times.

And now, this is were I make you regret asking me specifically about this topic (or maybe not, who knows what your interests are) because I do have a bit of an expertise in what constitutes good / bad parenting and I will talk about it at random whether I am asked or not (and hopefully my language won’t fail me as most of my theoretical knowledge is in german, so please excuse any mistakes in technical terminology because I have to find the english equivalents and you know all those untranslatable german words? Yeah. Someone finally figure out how to translate the difference between Erziehung and Bildung please because both cannot be education and also it doesn’t really fit either):

So let’s get into it, shall we?

What makes good parents?

First up: parental relationship and parenting capabilities: several years ago the german department of family, seniors, women and youth (BmFSFJ) released a paper on what skills parents need to become good parents. There a four main skills (and I hope I translated everything correctly):

child-corresponding skills (ability to respond to the individual needs and features of the child, be it in terms of recognising potential or setting boundaries or sth else)

context-corresponding skills (ability to recognise developmental opportunities but also hinderances for the child and acting accordingly)

self-corresponding skills (being able to reflect their own behaviour as well as being willing to learn new things; also ability to regulate one’s emotions)

action-corresponding skills (trust in ones own ability and effectiveness; being consistent, both in their own actions as well as in response to others actions)

You might have heard of Kurt Levin or Diana Baumrind or someone else doing research into parenting styles. Generally there are four main ones, which, if we use Baumrind, differentiate on the aspects of control and demand 

(here is a graph from wikipedia on this)

(I consider this fairly self explanatory but I will get into it in a bit a little more, soooo)

Now of course parenting isn’t just about the parents and what they do - children also have needs (and yes there is a lot of overlap but I am doing this right, okay?)

To quote my government again (because the paper was actually quite good, okay?) children want autonomy (a chance to do things themselves), expertise (a chance to develop their own skills) and relatedness (that one was very hard to translate but this came the closest; the idea is children strive for social connections, a sense of trust in themselves and reliability)

Also Urs Fuhrer defined 5 basic needs children have which are:

feeling of shelteredness and reliable love (I won’t explain this further except: google Harry Harlow and try not to cry like I do every time I am reminded of this monster of a man)

physical security and intactness (self explanatory, right?)

individual and developmentally suitable experiences (yes, children need to be socialised but it needs to be based on the individual child and how it learns best and all that)

boundaries and structure (CHILDREN WANT BOUNDARIES!!!! ALWAYS!!! CHILDREN WANT YOU TO TELL THEM YES OR NO, they need adults to help them navigate the world! Part of feeling secure is having someone who will tell you no and don’t do this; boundaries protect from danger, they represent support and orientation, they protect someone’s dignity (both the child’s and the parent’s), they give something to chafe against on our way to adulthood (because listen, Erikson wasn’t wrong, a lot of development happens in adversity, we find out who we are in contrast to other people)

a secure attachment (most people have heard about Bowlby and his theory of attachment, right? There are several types, though we are born with certain abilities for attachment and then learn how to attach from our parents, we model relationships on this, attachment determines our feeling of security and our thrive for exploration as children)

And I’ll leave the theoretical at this and go on to talk about the Buckley’s now, okay?

(and try to figure out if any of this has an actual point, uuups)

As for the specific situation of Mr and Mrs Buckley, let’s first see what we know of them, okay? (It’s barely anything) (half of it is assumed)

they are both alive

they are (probably) still married

they warned Maddie about Doug (meaning they somewhat cared)

they weren’t physically abusive and most likely also not emotionally

they probably live on the east coast in Pennsylvania

Buck may still be in contact with them

Maddie considers them good people but bad parents

they accepted losing contact with at least one of their children

Maddie doesn’t want them to know about Doug

That’s it!

Now, I personally think they might be very conservative, possibly unsupportive of their children. They might have had plans for their children’s life Maddie and Buck didn’t agree with, they might have been the types to not listen to their children, maybe they worked a lot. Probably fairly impatient, possibly disinterested in their children. Not good at the parenting capabilities.

Based on their children’s issues I’d say authoritarian or neglectful parenting style (though not abusive because it would be a redcon of Maddie’s background), meaning most definitely unresponsive though I cannot make up my mind whether they were demanding or undemanding, as both these styles - even when not so bad they are abusive and / or endangering to the child - make insecure, dependent and unhappy adults (like the children turn into those once they grow up), which does kinda fit with Buck specifically, right?

Though tbh I don’t think the Buckley parents were that horrible. I know fandom has taken the idea and run with it, mainly because after three seasons we know virtually nothing about them aside from some throwaway lines and all the issues we see in their children.

Now, why do I say this?

One, Maddie is a fairly capable adult despite everything that happened to her and even being as resilient as she is, she still has too few issues for how horrible fandom thinks the Buckley parents are

Two, while Buck has a lot of issues, being cocky and having problems with intimacy and being a bit directionless and still needing a parental figure in your mid-20s doesn’t seem that uncommon to me? Like the only really deep issue I’d say he has (that have to be caused by something deeper) are his abandonment issues (and connected to that intimacy). And it’s been implied they are caused by Maddie leaving to go to College which does paint the picture that he doesn’t have a good relationship with his parents but honestly, that sometimes happens, right?

(Also, and this is where my professional background comes in, I don’t like how everyone jumps to the worst possible conclusions about them, simply because I feel it sends the idea that only if the worst things happened to you, you have certain issues which is wrong. Sometimes small things will trigger something way larger in us and that should not be invalidated.)

And okay, I am getting off topic again (but again, my profession lies here) but what I am trying to say is this:

I do think Mr and Mrs Buckley were bad at parenting because they demanded too much but gave too little (emotionally) and I don’t think Buck is really in contact with them but I also don’t think that makes them necessarily bad people. (just bad parents)

I think Maddie and Buck weren’t as close back when they were children as they are now (at least not after Maddie moved to College) because the Buck we know would not accept a sister he is very close to simply no longer having contact with him for three years without trying to figure out why.

I do think they can’t have been that bad mainly because of how good Maddie and Buck are. Listen, I believe in resilience and already being born with a certain personality and traits which shapes how our environment reacts to us, but which is also influenced and changed by our environment ! (Nature vs. nurture, ya’ll) Now I know I said we find and develop ourselves in adversity but not just. We also need someone to foster and support and reward certain traits or we lose them and this is especially true for being kind and heroic!

Buck especially has shown way to little anger or capability for violence for how the fandom likes to write his parents, which considering his general character and also the way he looks - just doesn’t work! (Because generally especially boys raised in abusive families emulate this behaviour and Buck just - doesn’t! Which considering how “fuck toxic masculinity” Buck is most of the time doesn’t make sense because being tall and buff would make the opposite easier for him and would make it the better strategy for survival, so this would be the behaviour he would have learned)

(unless our writers say fuck being realistic and fuck psychology)

His parents had to have done something right, because Maddie will have left for College by the time he was 12 / 13 probably and we know they consider this her abandoning him meaning they probably weren’t really in contact then and while the first years of your life ARE VERY important for who you become later (urgh, yes, I’ll admit it, Sigmund Freud, the most overrated theorist did get SOME things right) they aren’t everything and you develop for longer and also a young girl like Maddie would have been would have not been self-reliant and stable enough to raise her literal baby brother in a way that made him resilient enough to become the person Buck has become despite her leaving him twice

Not to mention: considering the person we know Maddie is - if their parents really were that horrible she wouldn’t have left Buck with them, she would have taken him with her!

 ANYWAYS!

Okay, tbh, I have no idea if any of that answered your question, but I did spend nearly two hours on it so enjoy?

I really don’t have a good answer to your question because we really don’t know enough and what we know doesn’t fully gel with each other and urgh, I don’t know friend despite this being the one thing I actually have some knowledge on!

I’m not even sure any of this makes sense and I am so sorry about that! I was trying, friend, but sadly an answer eludes me

Guess I should have just ended after saying: we cannot find a unifying answer to this because we each have individual definitions of good and bad in regards to people?

(Now, for everyone who read all of this? I love you and thank you and sorry! Please have a great day while I go cry in the shower now because I this ask drained me and also Harry Harlow)

EDIT: I wrote attachment issues when I wanted to say abandonment issues, shit!

[thoughtfulpaperback]

SPOILERS!!! CHARMED 02x03 review

Okay y'all. This season is really killing it as far as keeping things moving and keeping it interesting. So same as ever gonna list the things I liked and then the things I didnt (again these are more nitpicks than anything else) and end with some highlights. But first just my general feelings over the episode. I'd give it a solid 7/10. Even though the quality of the episode matched the other episodes, I was not as entertained (although still pretty dang entertained). I recognize I am biased since I am a hacy fan. The last two episodes had a lot of hacy content which is probably why I found them more entertaining. That said again, this was a great episode. Onto spoilers!!

Things I liked:

1. Mel and Harry Team work.

Y'all, Harry and Mels relationship has developed the most from where it started. The level of trust they have in each other. My boy jumped of a roof even knowing there was a chance she was wrong! They are super good friends and family. Them working together is so enjoyable to watch.

2. Maggie's development. You know maggie is growing up. And I mean she is actively learning. Not just like absorbing life lessons. The whole thing with Jordan. What she did was messed up. I know some people think it falls under personal gain but I dont think it technically does because she legit needed the job to be able to have access to the space so they can save witches. But still there are consequences to all actions. And she is learning that. Same with that whole budding relationship in general it is a slow building one. I like.

3. Macy and Abby

Okay so. Right away I was like suspicious of abby and her story. I will admit I was spoiled in the discord a bit, but even if I hadn't been I would have thought the whole situation suspect. Why?

1. Abby and Macy were kidnapped. Not the demon M.O. of usual. They openly attack and kill. The only time we dont see them do it is with Layla, but she was going to be used as a sort of special kill in the uniting of the bloodlines. Also, she claimed to have been roughed up by the Overlord, but like when? When Macy was knocked out. Because the witch board didnt go off until she was running away. Which is sort of the opposite of what it has been. The witch board seems to go off when a witch is in immediate danger. Layla was kidnapped and no light for the witchboard went off until she was about to be burned. Same in the end of this episode. The witchboard didnt light up right until Abby was about to kill Macy. So, just based on before, I was suspicious of Abby's story. If she had been immediate danger before being kidnapped or was running away before, why hadn't the witch board gone off until then.

2. When Abby basically said Callum was the overlord, I was extra suspicious. Funny how the only demon keeping the bloodlines from uniting is now suddenly the overlord and ready for vanquishing. Then when she called him by his name even though before she just said overlord and gave no indication that she knew the dude.

So anyways those where the main things that sent me into "she is a villian working for the demons" but the reasons I like the two this episode are because:

1) the chemistry is good. I am a hacy shipper and I wouldnt really approve of a relationship. She is a villian who tried to kill Macy so I am not into that. But on screen these two, just ooze chemistry. Which makes me really think that Maddy didnt put any effort into the Galvin relationship season 1 because she has more chemistry the scenes with abby in this one episode than with Galvin during the whole of season 1

2. Abby could be a great foil to Macy(and possibly and interesting reboot of Cole). Both are half-demon and so since the show has moved from the nature versus nuture debate to a straight forward "it about the choices we make" message, it is a great way to explore half demons/witches in two different characters and emphasize to us and to Macy herself that it is the choices.

4. Kat!!!

OmG y'all. First off that kiss was like torture because I was waiting for it since they met. Then sad to find out it wasnt real :( but her vision of the worms at the end... made me wonder if it was a consequence of the trip to the astral plane or if maybe kat is a witch or sensitive to magic. Which is why she saw the worms. Like she was picking up on what had happened. I am excited for more!

Onto things I did not like (My nitpicks)

1. Dark!Harry. Listen Brenda/on! This is a nit pick. But I wished the show would have given us a little more because I was left with questions. Dark!Harry (or Darry as @scousesal has used) asks Macy why she has been avoiding him. That tells me nothing. I can assume that this means he knows she knows what he is (that is to say that he knows she knows he isnt really harry) but then it doesnt make sense to ask why she has been avoiding him. If he has a functioning brain and realized she knew, then she is avoiding him because she knows and doesnt trust him .

But no. He asks why. Listen y'all, I think he does want to hurt them (at least mel and Maggie) or use them for something, but I dont necessarily think he means to kill them immediately (could be wrong). He obviously wants all of them together though. He arguably could have just killed maggie last episode, but he wanted her to lead him to the others. Meaning he either needs them all for something or (if he does want them dead) he wants them all dead at the same time.

But again he asks why, so either he doesnt know she knows, but obviously senses she is avoiding him since he can't reach her like before. Or for some reason, even though he did attack them, he thought Macy would want to continue the connection even knowing he wasnt the real or at least thier Harry. Possibly hinting at feelings or a developing hunger for a deeper connection with Macy.

Again so many possibilites and I hope we get more information next episode.

2. Again nitpick, I did not like the look of the astral plane. It kinda made my head hurt. I mean I get the choice and the colors. Very psychedelic and overlapping. But it just was too bright and yellow and the overlapping just wasnt visually appealing to me.

Highlights:

Macy using science!!! I was worried they wouldnt let Macy's science background shine through this season given the storyline but they came through

Jordan dont go!! :(

Macy de-blindfolding Abby

The look on Abby's face when she meets Harry like suspect and intriguing. I wonder what kind of banter she will develope with him.

Macy about to just stab Abby like its nothing

[survivetashirojima]

Episode #6: “LITTLE MISS MADISON said FUCK JACOB” -Kevin

*takes my numbers back and hisses at Stephen Vi and Timmy*

WHATS POPPING, this game thats whats popping ladies and gentlemen whew, to say the least that is. Considering my last confessional was like round 1, let me go ahead and fill you guys in on what you MISSED!! (from my perspective) We voted Tom, then Julia, then Kenny all unanimously which was meh, I liked Tom but he's very ruthless but I think I could've worked with him for a little but he just wasn't on so I couldn't do anything without risking my game, then theres Julia another person I liked and wanted to work with but her inactivity was gross and she made her own bed and she's kinda crazy so hopefully it was for the better, lastly in the string of unanimous votes we had KENNY I was ELATED to see him go, finally someone actually bad for my game left, we never talked and we did not have a good history so him staying would have sucked, then JG had to walk from the game which was.. something, personally for my situation that was great and while I hope everything is ok with him and his life I am not ashamed to say I was happy to have his presence in the game be gone, to be frank. THEN!!!!!!! things started to heat up! So going into the 4th tribal I was vulnerable for the FIRST time all game, and to make matters worse there was only 5 other people to choose from outside of myself, so that was really really shitty and I hated that feeling, luckily prior to the vote I found my way into 2 different alliances one being named the "fat five" consisting of myself, madeleine, jacob, ricky and andrew! this is a group i feel comfortable with for the time being and I trust, and then after that I was added to a chat with Joanna, Pat and Stephen which seems to be an alliance but is not properly named. I appreciate that my social ability has led me into 2 different completely non-overlapping alliances but it's also put me in the MIDDLE of those 2 alliances which seem to have different HOPES about where this game is going. So during the final 14 vote my name was brought up for what was told to me as a millisecond, a very short period of time that didn't really spark any fires in people to want to vote me out, I heard of this first through JOANNA, surprisingly she told me Stephen told her about it which was alarming to me because I liked Stephen and should he have heard my name I would have expected him to bring it to my attention, frankly he did NOT and in the midst of having a 1 in 6 shot of going home I was not going to rock the boat at all, so I bit my tongue and let the round play on and considered this something to be better addressed at a future time. So back to the actual VOTE the actual coming up of names I had no part in both Dylan and Brien were brought to me by the respective "sides" of the tribes if you will, with Dylan being Pat/Jo/Steves choice and Brien being Mad/And/Ric/Jac's choice both side were VERY intensely wanting their vote to go through (which is expected) but as everything unfolded I realized the kumbaya spirits that blessed the 3 tribals prior had seemingly left the building because me being vulnerable for the first time is a GREAT time to take a break, to put it quickly THE VOTE WAS SPLIT. With neither side budging despite my best efforts. After some investigative work I realized that outside of the fat five the brien vote was not widely wanted, and after taking myself out of the picture would have resulted in a 7-6 vote with Dylan leaving. So once i realized this and decided for myself that Dylan leaving was in fact the better move for my game, considering his challenge dominance and his close bonds to people who i considered my closest allies, he needed to be cut loose. In the final stretch before tribal I knew what was coming and what needed to be done so I had to lay the base work for what I was about to do which MEANT either flipping my alliance (fat five) or providing visible doubt within myself enough to prove that I was not LYING, I spoke to madeleine through most of this confessing concerns that we did not have the votes and perhaps it was best to just ride the dylan wave out as a unit like we had done up until that point, but there was no budging with her I expressed MULTIPLE concerns MULTIPLE times, and no movement. Then I went to jacob who was out of the loop as ever, he had no idea dylan was even an option and I told him that it was and it was likely to be the end result of the night with or without him, and I then tried to speak to andrew who was presumably at work but i really couldn't tell ya, I messaged him asking had he heard Dylans name at all, no response but the effort was there and I wasn't gonna call him just to give bad news, and lastly in the final moments I confessed to madeleine I "switched" my vote to Dylan to avoid a tie, which was true, and became my main selling point for WHY I did it which is fair, while there are revotes it's still half way to rocks and thats one hike i will NOT be taking, at least not this early and not over Dylan's ass lets make that clear. Then, the deed is done and the dust settles and im left to pick up the pieces of a devastated alliance, as I said i expose myself and admit to not wanting a tie and worrying for the safety of myself and ricky (who would've had a 50% chance of one of us going should it have gone to rocks) Im comforted by Madeleine and Ricky who understand the position I was in, Andrew was understandably and slightly upset but hey I DID try and talk to him, jacob pretty indifferent as always, I felt in the clear and I had nothing to do but move on. I will be doing the final 13 vote in a SEPARATE confessional, you're welcome  

BACK BACK BACK AGAIN, HALLELU! where were we? lets keep this going shall we, anyways SO FINAL 13, the challenge is remembering the cats trailer which I tried slightly after quite a long day at work so my brain wasn't fully there, I did do quite a bit of studying but my dumb ASS didn't think to remember the order of celebrities, or the featured names/works that were affiliated with the trailer, so I lost a lot of time in having to go back and watch those parts which scored me a mere 14 !! which was sadly not enough to win Immunity, instead Andrew and Stephen won! 1 person from each alliance, how poetic. The winners didn't really affect me or my gameplay this week it was quite a non factor. Which makes sense in a 14 person tribe, with now 12 people eligible to be voted out. The first half of the day was quite like every other vote, no names, no activity everyone waiting for the storm to flood in and sweep us away in the dark murky waters of tashirojima where somebody's gonna end up drowning. AND THEN IT HAPPENS!! suddenly there's names... LNGVO (Pat/Jo/Steve alliance) seems to be wary of Madeleine, who is quite the talker and a good social player considering her persistance with talking to people, it's impressive really. She won the social challenge by a landslide and that scared people and specifically scared Pat who threw her name out there first, pitching a pretty decent case in my opinion but Maddie trusts me so I don't really give into the pitch while Joanna agrees I subtly drop a message providing why her gameplay isn't all it's seemed to be and how she'll likely do herself in in due time, and we should probably just wait it out. While my tiny message likely had no impact Stephen did somewhat agree, he felt making another big move (was dylan that big of a move?) would set a domino effect into play and ultimately catch up to one of us which I agreed with. So while Pat and Joanna were still hung up on Maddie going home if at all possible we/they also recognized that her likability at this point in the game would make it hard to vote her out considering Jay/Timmy 2 MOTR players wouldn't write her name down was a game changer. So then the vote swapped to Jacob a less social and less likable player but also a key component to the unbeknownst to them alliance, the fat five, so I couldn't really have that happening BUT I did encourage the idea once it came up because while I wanted to pitch the idea of going Brien to this group but with the talk of "staying strong" as an "8" that voted together previously I knew it wouldn't be well received and I didn't want to risk looking sketchy that early in the day cause you never know how quick a vote can turn if given the right chance, so I sat back and agreed and made a small case for why jacob "SHOULD" be the vote and then they settled on Jacob because my assumptions were that if the vote was Jacob then Madison (who i assumed to be close to jacob) would not vote for him and would mean not necessarily a vote for the fat five but one less vote for LNGVO who by the mathematics of it, had the majority. BUT BOY WAS I WRONG, cause "we" settled on jacob and as it turns out LITTLE MISS MADISON said FUCK JACOB and voted for him !!! That was a shocker. But lets back up, before the votes were read I eventually brought up Brien's name AGAIN in the fat five, hoping we could stick on that, piss off less people and keep the sides more even so I don't give either side the upperhand WITHOUT needing little ol me, the middle position is only powerful if theres a middle to sit in. So if Brien went home I kept the balance, I appease the previously disappointed fat five and save the day with getting brien out just 1 round late. Without much fight they agree, it really does seem like the best decision so now I know where both sides are aiming I just need to figure out what their ammunition looks like. I knew where most of the votes were gonna be EXCEPT FOR Jay and Madison, both promised both sides their votes (which I know because I am somehow a part of both sides and thats why I hate my life) so without myself madison and Jay the votes looked like like 6-5 in the  LNGVO favor in eliminating Jacob, a close ally of mine, so now I had to secure 1 more vote to tip the scales in my favor, Jay had been on the fence all day from what he said, and so I went to talk to him like 10 minutes before tribal and he confessed to being on the fence and he told me while he promised his vote was going to go against jacob he didnt feel like he could follow through and i said SAME DUDE!!!! we're in the same boat, so i took this opportunity to relate and then make sure he felt confident in his decision because he was making it with me. And we locked on Brien, and he went on to later tell me that me agreeing with him and our conversation was the push he needed to lock that vote in, which im so grateful for. Now yet again I had to soften the blow to the side that I was voting against, while I knew Jay was flipping for about 20 minutes before I said anything (from 5:50 to about 6:10) I needed to find the perfect timing to tell LNGVO that I heard Jay was flipping and that Madison was also voting Brien (which wasn't true but I DID HEAR that she was from Madeleine and Andrew so I didn't lie) and with this I said I don't know if the votes are there anymore, and obviously Joanna not showing up until the last second was helpful too because that added to the sense of insecurity with that vote, and I also said I don't wanna vote Jacob if he's not gonna go home (again, true) and so with only 1 more person to be asked a question I dropped the bomb with little to no time to recover and have Stephen or Pat go and talk to jay to flip him back and no time to really figure out what was happening. Then the votes are read Brien goes home THANK U BABY JESUS and my plan worked out. Now I just need to continue to balance these 2 alliances as best as possible. In my next submission I will talk about the information and events that happened AFTER the votes were read. Thank you!

PART 3, THE FINALE, ARE YOU EXCITED? im excited, anyways. So Brien's gone hallelujah amen am i right. The LNGVO alliance seems understand when I express my concerns that the vote was too close to call and I couldn't really trust much of what anyone said like I mean come on, it was 7-6 for christs sake. They seem ok with it, understanding that this isn't the end of the world and theres still a bunch of game to be played and just hope to move forward stronger than before and hopefully still with the majority. And then I speak to Jay again, "baffled" at the fact that we were in the middle and the decision makers, making sure he knew it was both of our decision which leads him to propose that he would like to work with me, and I agree obviously! I really like Jay we share a love of pizza and pretzels and anything that combines pizza and pretzels. But also he's in the middle as well and he was another person to promise his vote one way and go back on it, similar to what I did, so I wont or shouldn't be taking heat alone which is always good. AND THEN the real kicker of the night, earlier on in the day I spoke to Stephen about hearing my name and not telling me, and gave him the chance to tell me his story, as vague as can be he tells me that it came up but wasn't truly considered, when asked specifically who said my name he dodged the question but did tell me it originated in a conversation with Madeleine, who I trusted and also didn't tell me about hearing my name but AFTER THE VOTE Maddie brought it up that Stephen in fact said my name on a call to HER not the other way around which jogged my memory and I confirmed and he in fact threw me out as an option for the vote, the same round he started an alliance with me! Ridiculous that guy. So now I know that Stephen has a thought in his mind that looks at me as a threat and someone that he ALREADY has considered targeting. While I initially felt bad having to let down LNGVO considering the alliance was created by Stephen I feel less bad now knowing that he is two-faced and is to not be trusted by me, despite how hard he wants to try and seem loyal to the alliance. People such as Andrew and Mad already see his sketchiness and the back and forth and I'm glad I want to capitalize on that and hopefully make something happen. But it's too soon to tell what I want to happen this round with 2 days for immunity and another for tribal really anything can happen and thats worrysome. but lets end on a positive note, Madeleine told me that I am her favorite person in this game and that she trusts me the most, which is AMAZING, she also brought up the idea of forming a final three of myself, her and Andrew to which I obviously agreed to but I think she may not know that Andrew has a pre-existing relationship to Ricky, and I have a pre-existing relationship to Jacob and Jacob and Ricky ALSO know each other well. But that may not even come into play but it's important to note that I am now officially a part of someones end game (for the time being) this is huge and I hope to become a part of more peoples end games as the game progresses. Good Luck Charlie!

I was scared I wasn’t coming across how I wanted to be in this season, turns out I am and I’m so freaking happy!!!

I was think about the challenge in class and looked at my coffee and my mind just screamed “Starbucks cat!” And then “MADDIE NO”

Madeleine is totally a backstabber but that's okay. I already knew that since tribal 2. I think I'm gonna switch to vote her off only bc now I have Jay and Pat talking to me. Thank gods Brien got voted off. He never talked to me besides setting up the alliance. I favor people who talk over people who doesn't so that's one less inactive person. I"M SO GLAD THAT THIS CHALLENGE IS AN ARTISTIC ONE. I can not wait to see how people react to what I drew. I think its hella nice. Even if I get voted off after this challenge, that's perfectly fine and I'm okay with that since this is my pride and joy of the season. Plus I won't be gone gone since we're all jurors anyways. It'll just be lonely for a few days until the next juror gets voted out. Or multiple. Lukas and Olivia seems to be hinting at more than one person can be voted out and idk man. Scary business right there

So this is how I'm pretty sure the votes went last time? - Andrew, Maddie, Ricky, Kevin, Jacob, Jay, Madison: voted out Brien - Stephen, Timmy, Vi, Joanna, Pat, Brien: voted out Jacob Unless I'm a buffoon......but I think Madison was the swing vote. I think. Idk. I had to convince Jay very very very very very VERY last second and then at the same time get people to convince Madison while I was also trying to talk to her. I wouldn't have been so adamant about NOT voting out Jacob had Stephen not been sketchy as all hell coming to me at like 8:30 being like "teehee wut if we did jacob uwu" cuz that was fucking stupid. He was like "well why does Jacob deserve to stay over Brien" and I was like why the fuck are you all of a sudden trying to keep Brien? For numbers? Yeah no. No Brien for you. He's gone now. So Stephen is high on my hit list. Also I just like do not have a connection to Vi, Timmy, Pat, and Joanna and like I've talked to Vi and Joanna but the convos are stale. I guess I can try messaging Pat. I might look like a doofus messaging Timmy this late in the game especially when I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me but I think I've decided I don't give a shit about social graces and might just message him anyway for funsies. The key word is might. For this vote though.......Maddie, Ricky, and Jacob are all vulnerable. Like at least Maddie puts in work but if I have to keep dragging Ricky and Jacob's lagging asses I'm gonna lose it. I'm love Ricky so much but like......please. Do smth.... I'm gonna break my back from carrying this alliance. Jay is also vulnerable btw. So that's 4 people I don't wanna target. Then there is Timmy and Madison. Will Madison vote out Timmy? Idk. That could be an issue. Because if she doesn't then I think it could end up being 6-6. Nnnnnn. So like if it's 6-6 that's gay because if it deadlocked then Timmy and whoever the other side voted would be safe. So like it would be a 1-4 chance that Madison goes over one of my allies. We need people to vote out Timmy. This is GAY. Or maybe we just scrap Jacob because he's useless. Who fuckin knows.

*spongebob timecard narrator voice* the next day: So apparently Madison voted Jacob? And Timmy voted Brien? I'm confused but idc lol maybe we can just get majority on Madison then

These people are so messy. So Jacob left my alliance with him and Madison but I’m messaging him (or at least trying to, he’s responding slowly but I think he’s at work so it’s all good) because I need him to know I didn’t vote for him. Madison did though and now I know she also voted Dylan and she thought I did too. I still want Madison in but like I don’t want to go to the end with her mainly bc I know she would be more likely than others to vote for me in the end. There’s plenty of reasons to get Madeleine out but she’s not winning immunities so the opportunity will be better with less people and these people are smart and will see that she is a social threat but yea she is easy to beat in immunity (although I haven’t been doing too well in immunities). I want Ricky gone bc I fucked up and never answered his message from a while ago so that is a dead relationship so he can go. Also I want Joanna gone sooner rather than later because I know she is smart.

so, gag of all gags, everyone in my core alliance is immune, woo. This means we dont have to be worried about a massive blindside, the only true ally i have thats vulnerable is Madison, but it seems the vote is aiming more at ricky, thank god. I like the guy but hes just one of the less-active people and I want to make sure we dont have an ftc full of goats who just drifted through. Kevin is the only one of my alliance im wary of, he has done great in challenges so far, and that can be dangerous the closer you get to FIC, so eventually he will lose immunity and ill have to betray him. Make it to f8, then the next time he loses hes gone.

https://youtu.be/qHZhhQIvOcU

CASUALTIES:

CAST ASSESSMENTS:

PART 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF-qsugZ6RM&list=PLB-4yJ0EHce-bxHQVmQVdrV6tx36_6Jly&index=14

PART 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dF6SrpCKBrA&list=PLB-4yJ0EHce-bxHQVmQVdrV6tx36_6Jly&index=15