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needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves · 3 years

Note

Heatwave x female s/o?

Funny enough it's a certain someone's birthday today! Let's give a bitch one of her faves ;)

(Warning; SUPER long)

"Kade, hurry it up."

"Don't rush me, I'm almost done!"

Kade huffed. They had agreed that once a week, Kade was supposed to wash his alt mode. He had an especially muddy rescue today, Heatwave was always huffy after a mess, but today, he was especially finicky. It was why Kade was sitting there, buffing in the fresh coat of wax that Heatwave demanded he have on. He pulled away, and after seeing it was done, lightly patted his hood.

"Alright pretty boy, you're done. Imma go and eat a sandwich."

"Didn't we stop at a drive thru before we got here?"

"You whining makes me hungry."

Heatwave scoffed. He waited until Kade got into the house, before he helped himself out of the driveway, and pulling into the road. Just had to do one thing first, in case they came looking for him.

"Chase, you copy?"

"Yes, Heatwave, I copy."

"Good. I'm handling your patrol shift."

"But Kade isn't-"

"No one knows that. Look, I just need to let out some steam, Chase. You know how Kade is."

"...understandable. Keep me updated."

"Will do."

He hung up the call, sighing in relief. Good, they bought it. He made a left towards the beach, before he came to a halt, just before he made it to the parking lot. There she was. The reason why he wanted to look like a goddamn sports car today.

Brown hair that fell to her shoulders, fair skin, jewelry that dangled, and she was as glittery and stunning as a fallen star. He pulled up right in front of her, giving her just a small honk to get her attention. Her eyes lit up right when she saw him.

"Hey! I was just about to text you!"

He pulled down the window, giving the illusion that she was talking to someone inside.

"Sorry. Had to keep the hood looking nice for you. Like what you did with your hair."

She had gotten bored waiting for him, and had stuffed her hair full of little flowers. Alongside the glitter- this girl was far from boring.

"Thank you! I got you one too. Assuming you're gonna let me in?"

"Course, scoot into the driver's seat."

He opened his door, letting her hop into the driver's seat. She placed a little flower on the dashboard, before she buckled herself in.

"Sooo I take it this is the tour you promised me?"

She was from off island, so she was a little lost around here. He pulled out of the lot, and went back onto the road.

"Yeah, I'll show you around. You still got a week on the island, right?"

"Yep! I'm liking the sights so far. And the locals are definitely nice, and not just on the eyes."

Based on the way she strummed her fingers across his dashboard, she wasn't talking about the humans. He turned to the left, trying to remember to put on his blinker as he did so. She was, something.

"Well, we try to have some hospitality. Especially for tourists who just run into any ol' vehicle."

She huffed, arms folded across her chest.

"The door was open, and I've always wanted to see the inside of a fire truck."

Heatwave chuckled. What a story that was.

"Kade! Close the-and he's gone."

Heatwave groaned. Whenever he saw Hailey, that idiot always forgot the rules of the ride; shut the door when you get out. It was like coming into a closed room, and leaving without shutting it. Just plain annoying. He was about to shut the door, when there was a sudden weight in his driver's seat. He adjusted his rear view mirror. A girl. Tourist, given that he'd never seen her before.

"Cool! A real firetruck! I've always wanted to see one on the inside!"

Not a carjacker, thankfully. Just someone who was curious. He turned on his screen on the inside, and put on his best robot voice.

"Step away, citizen, this is official-"

He stopped once she tapped the screen, right at his nose. She looked fascinated by him, as if this is the first time she'd ever see technology.

"Woah! They have a computer in this thing- that's new! I'll only sit here, just for a second! I've been waiting for a friend."

She sat down in his seat, facing the outside and starting to mess with her phone. He was about to lay on the horn, when she sighed under her breath.

"Come on...I've been waiting two hours, guys."

She got ditched. He wasn't nuts about someone who literally just helped herself to his interior, but Heatwave wasn't sparkless. Not seeing Kade in the distance, he sighed.

"Input address."

"Hmm?"

She looked at the map he put on the screen. She hesitated for a second, biting her lip in thought.

"Uhm...I dunno where it is exactly. Its the uh, the hotels nearby, I think?"

Heatwave knew what she meant. He put the address on the screen, and turned on the light that signaled for a seatbelt. She looked around, as if she was doing something bad, before she grinned, and (finally) shutting his door, then put on her seatbelt. He tried to be quick about this (Kade was SUCH a whiner if he couldn't find Heatwave in the same spot he left him at), despite the fact that traffic was fairly heavy.

"That's so cool, you can drive yourself! Oh you are SO cool! I wonder where's the sirens on this thing?"

Heatwave shouldn't. Those were for emergencies. But traffic wasn't letting up, Kade would call and nag at him for leaving, and...well. She looked like she could use a pick me up. He let the button flash for her, and right when she pressed it, the sirens started to blare. She jumped in the seat, giddy as a sparkling.

"Oh thats so cool!"

Heatwave WAS pretty cool, when he really thought about it. She geeked out well until they reached the empty looking parking lot, then he put it in park.

"Please unfasten your seatbelts, and exit the- ow, the scrap is that?"

She stared at the face on the screen as she started to get out.

"What's...what?"

"There's something on the seats, it's...ITCHY."

She looked around at her seat. Glitter. She gave an embarrassed smile, before shrugging.

"I'm sorry, I got glitter on you. It's kinda my signature thing- wait. Is that...pre-recorded?"

Oh no. He tried to focus on the voice, rather than the itchiness.

"It's nothing to be concerned about-"

He sighed in relief when she dug her hand into his seat, easing that itch. She pulled away quickly, and he knew that face of shock.

"Oh my god. You're not...just a robot. Oh my GOD-"

"Shhhh!"

He pulled his shades back up, realizing it was too late to keep up the robo act.

"Look, okay, I'm not just a truck. But you NEED to keep it a secret. Do you understand?"

She stared at him for a second, trying to take it all in. She slowly started to form her words, taking a step back.

"Uh...are you gonna take over the world or something?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be sitting here with glitter on my seat."

She clearly had a million and one questions, everyone did, but he didn't have time to answer. He cut her off before he could speak.

"I just need to know if you can keep a secret."

"...i can. Especially since you helped me. I won't tell anyone, promise."

"Good. Now, I gotta hurry back, you stay safe. And uh- stop sitting in random trucks. Its kinda rude."

He shut his door, about to take off, when she gripped onto the door handle. He stopped, watched her as she scribbled on a napkin, before tucking it in his windshield wipers.

"In case you need me to say a proper sorry."

With that, she turned, and walked inside. He looked wround, and after making sure no one could see him, transformed, and looked at the napkin. A string of numbers that didn't make any sense.

Weird little human.

"Funny how after that you just couldn’t leave me alone, huh Heats?"

"I'm a rescue bot. Helping people is what I do. By the way, I'm STILL not over the glitter."

"You just mad because I'm cute."

She WAS cute, he'd give her that. He pulled up to a drive thru (the one Kade always went to), chuckling.

"Just order something, I don't want you hungry for where we're going."

"Oh sure, I got some spare cash-"

"No. I said I was going to treat you, and I meant it. There's a wallet in the glove box, use the cash."

She took it out, raising a brow.

"Who's 'Kade'?"

"Friend of mine. He owed me the money, so don't sweat it."

Well. He SORT of did, for dealing with him on a daily basis. After ordering fries, a shake, and nuggets, they were off. She raised a brow as she took a sip of her drink.

"Where ARE we going anyway?"

"Wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, would it?"

"Can I at least get a hint? Please?"

"Okay, okay. One hint. It's got more flowers."

She thought about it for a second, and he wanted to laugh. She had such a cute scowl when she was in deep thought. Wasn't even looking out the window to see where that they had in fact, stopped by now.

"Is it...a flower shop?"

"No, but good idea for next time. Look outside."

She looked outside, and he felt her cute little feet stomp on by his pedals in excitement.

"No way!! Let me out, I wanna see I wanna see!"

"Hold your turbo horses!"

He tried to make it sound like it was scolding, but the laughter betrayed him. He unlocked the door, and like a fresh sparkpubby, she bolted. He had found this spot, full of flowers, and secluded from most of the usual hiking trails. Someplace they could really, and honestly be alone.

"It's SO pretty here! Why aren't there more people here?"

He watched her use her phone to take plenty pictures, and in a way, it was sweet, knowing she HAD to remember this place.

"No one really knows. Small island, lots of mysteries. You grabbed the blanket right?"

She stopped, before taking off her backpack and nodded. It was more of a tarp, given the size, but she did bring it. She set laid it out, and after getting her food, she sat down on her knees, giddy as hell.

"So. Am I finally gonna see the real Heatwave? Mr 'rescue bot leader'?"

They had been texting a lot since they first met, she knew damn well that stuff like that made him feel a bit frazzled. She really saw him as this incredible being. If only he knew he saw her the same way. He took a deep breath, just as he learned in yoga.

"Okay. I can show you. But you need to keep calm, okay?"

"I can do calm!"

"I love the enthusiasm, but freckles, come on."

Her said freckled face scowled as her arms folded across her chest.

"Fine. I'll be calm. Promise."

He transformed, and knelt down, trying to make himself look smaller. It didn't really work. She gawked at him, little eyes wide and mouth open.

"I...get it. It's a lot, and it's weird and confusing-"

"You did NOT tell me you were hot."

It was Heatwave's turn to be surprised. She wasn't repelled him; she was ATTRACTED to him. Oh no. Oh no, he was tracking her eyes- she was giving him a total once over, clearly trying to take him all in. He cleared his throat, tipping his hat down to cover his optics a bit. She REALLY thought he was 'hot' (which he learned meant 'attractive' and not 'on fire').

"Could uh...could the hot mech take a seat with you?"

She scooted a bit, patting the spot next to her. He was careful with the flowers, before he finally sat down. Heatwave found it difficult to make eye contact again, they both did. What do you do when a girl you REALLY liked called you 'hot'? Do you say 'you too'? Or 'thanks'? He was apparently super obvious with his feelings, she opted to get the ball rolling.

"So? Tell me about yourself! All I know is your name, and that you're a firetruck."

He finally turned to look at her. He had not much to say, but he did have a lot to LOOK at.

"I'm Heatwave, leader of the rescue bots on Griffin Rock. I come from the planet Cybertron, and I help citizens of this island anyway I can. I do rescues. I've also been in a few parades, but I don't like thinking about that. Kid's have REALLY gross hands..."

She chuckled, clearly amused. The whole time he was talking, he was super distracted. Her eyes looked like stars, her hair was soft yet wild, like the ocean, and her...mouth. Humans always looked squishy to him, but this one had such soft lips. They were glossy, and they looked so precious as she ate. The way her tongue licked the salt off of her tiny fingers-

"Heatwave!"

"Huh? What? What's wrong?"

"You were staring kinda off into space? And you're steaming!"

Oh no. He really was. He checked his HUB, and sure enough, temperatures were above normal. He cleared his throat, shaking his head.

"Sorry, sorry. It uhm...happens."

"You sure you don't want me to like. Feel your forehead or something?"

He was about to say no, but the idea of her hand on his metal...well. One touch wouldn't hurt.

"If it'll make you feel better. Knock yourself out."

He lowered himself down to her level, and she pressed her little hand against his forehead. Oh she was so soft.

"Woah. You are WARM. Like a heater! Oh this is nice actually."

She put both hands on him, now at the sides of his face. Her smile was...so close to him. Her eyes were full of wonder and comfort. She felt comfortable with him. He wasn't self concious about his looks, but knowing that someone so pretty, so full of wonder, found HIM attractive- it made his processor spin.

"You...you got a lot more freckles than I thought. Don't think I could count them all."

"Sounds like quitter talk to me, Heats."

Oh the way he smiled at her. He felt joy plenty of times, but this. This was something so incredibly different.

"I don't back down from a challenge. One. Two. Three. Four. Five...six..."

He was losing track. She smelled prettier than any flower here, her breath was hitting his lips. Then, it happened. Her lips pressed against his, and his spark was absolutely thumping. He hadn't ever...kissed someone before. He never wanted to, up till now. He, as carefully as he could, even pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. It was so sweet, so soft.

Then Heatwave got carried away. He pulled her closer to him, steam hissing from his frame as his glossa kept rubbing against her lips. Her mouth was small, but he demanded entry. She was eager to give it to him, and his glossa got a taste of hers. Still sweet from the shake she just had, it was a taste he wanted more of. He held her in place, not wanting to let this feeling go. She tasted so good, she was so warm, so soft, and wet, and-

"What's wrong?"

He pulled away when he noticed it. She averted her gaze, cleaning the oral lubricant Heatwave had left around her mouth.

"What...do you mean?"

"You're warm. Really warm. And your legs are pressed together. Did I hurt you?"

"No! No, I just...uhm...okay, this is embarrassing. I uhm...forget it, it was just that kissing you and..."

He looked confused for a moment, before he gestured to her.

"If I made you uncomfortable or hurt you, I really should take a look at it. Unless you want me to take you out to see someone?"

Heatwave wasn't dumb. He just knew you shouldn't be poking around someone's bits unless you absolutely had to. She leaned back into his hand, spreading her legs apart, and giving him permission to look. He lifted her skirt up, and saw, to his surprise, that humans had a valve. Didn't have the biolights he was usee to, but still so soft, hot, and at the moment, wet. She groaned into her hand, totally embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I just. You had your tongue out and it just, uh-"

"Oh. You like my tongue?"

Heatwave decided to be bold. He lifted her up, and slowly ran his glossa alongside her folds. Oh the way her legs shook once she felt him. He pulled away, a huge smirk on his face.

"Aw, you good there, freckles? Lookin' a little shakey."

Her face was flushed, her frame shook like a helpless bolt bunny- she was precious.

"Can you just...a bit more? Please Heatwave?"

Who was he to say no to someone who damn near tasted like rainbows?(it was a saying Blades used here, he assumed he was using it right) he brought his mouth up to her again, and dove back in. Only this time, he savored her. He lapped at her little folds hungrily, glossa threatening every once a while to bury himself into her. He felt her little hands grab onto his helmet, felt her legs squirm as she whined for him.

"S-shit, Heatwave. You're...mmph!"

He looked up at her, seeing how she clamped her hand over her mouth. She was enjoying this so much, she was even trying to hump his glossa, desperate for more. With his free hand, he clicked open his spike panel, letting his hand slowly stroke his currently leaky spike.

"Keep making those noises. I like it. I REALLY like it."

She gave him what he wanted, moaning and whimpering helplessly as her fluids started to drip down his face. It felt so good, stroking his spike to the sound of her little mewls.

"W-wait, wait a second."

He pulled away, forcing himself to put his tongue back into his mouth.

"What's wrong?"

"I just. Didn’t want to finish like that. You deserve something too."

He let her go as she wanted to, before he found himself laying back, watching her as she faced away from him. He twitched upon feeling her hand at his sensitive metal, then her hot breath at his tip.

"Wait, I dunno if-"

Then her mouth was at his tip. Oh the way electricity shot up his spinal ridge.

"N-never mind. That. Keep doing it. Way more of that."

Heatwave couldn't just sit there and be lazy piece of scrap metal. He lifted up her skirt, and instead of using his glossa like earlier, he started to use his servos. He sat there, holding onto her cute ass, thumb rubbing in between her folds, all while she sat there, little tongue rolling against his spike, slurping and licking at the transfluids that came from him. He watched as heat rolled from his mouth and into the open air.

Then she came. All it took was a few quick, fast circles against her folds, and she cried out against his metal, dripping from her legs, down to his just waxed body. Suffice to say, hearing her little sounds, watching her as she she tried all she could to please him-it was too much for Heatwave. He overloaded right after, hand digging into the dirt underneath him. He wanted to sit there, basking in the afterglow, when he looked up. He didn't just stain his chest, he stained her pretty shirt. He sat up with a bit of a jolt, knowing he fucked it up.

"Fucking shit- I'm sorry, I'm usually messy but that was an-"

She chuckled, shaking her head, and wiping the bits of overload from her lips.

"It's just a shirt. Really, it's fine."

Heatwave wasn't a usually a 'no it's not' kinda guy. He usually believed when people left it at that. But something about the way she wiped her face free of his overload, made him think differently.

"Why don't I take you back into town, buy you some new clothes?"

"I mean....if you're offering and all."

Heatwave chuckled. Yep. He definitely had the hots for her.

-------------------

"Kade! Heatwave is back!"

Dani called out from the kitchen. It was well into the night at this point by the time Heatwave pulled in. Kade rushed out to meet him before he made it into the garage.

"Where have you been? Chase has been trying to-"

"I kept him updated on the situation across town, so unless an emergency happened-"

"An emergency DID happen!"

Heatwave finally decided to hit the breaks and pay attention.

"What happened? Is everyone safe?"

"You drove off, and I left my wallet in your glove box- had to cancel MY date because you didn't come back."

Heatwave sighed in relief. It was stupid, sure, but at least it wasn't a real emergency.

"Alright, hop in and get it."

He opened his door, and Kade reached in to get it. Once he hopped out, Heatwave drove into the garage to explain himself to the rest of the crew. Then he heard Kade yell from behind him.

"HEATWAVE WHY IS MY WALLET EMPTY?!"

He should feel guilty. But remembering her smile? He absolutely didn't.

#asks #lemon #heatwave #self insert #hope you enjoy bitch #happy birthday!

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365days365movies · 3 years

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April: Comedy

This is my favorite genre. But, uh...is it a genre?

Here’s the thing about comedy: it seems like a genre in total, but it’s really more of a tone. What I mean by that is, the idea of comedy is so broad that it intersects with basically every genre there is. So, how do you define the comedy genre if it’s quite literally all over the place?

Well, let’s look at the previous genres this year. Action movies tell their plot through action sequences, romance movies focus on interpersonal relationships, and fantasy movies are all about the setting and its rules. The way I see it, comedy is primarily about writing and plot, especially the former.

Now, to explain this, I’ll have to talk about my favorite comedies. And yeah, that’s plural, because it is HAAAAAARD to choose one favorite. There are so many good ones, and they’re all different in scope and concept. So, I’ll go through a few of my top favorites, and do some quick basic dissection. Let’s start with Airplane!, a 1980 parody comedy fueled on extremely well-written and timed jokes. The situation isn’t the funniest part here; it’s the writing, and how the written jokes are executed.

Here’s what I mean: I’m gonna describe the plot with a fairly accurate synopsis.

A veteran pilot from the Vietnam War is trying to repair his faltering love life with a flight attendant. To do so, he must get over his personal trauma and board the plane she is on to win her back. But during the flight, an illness fells the pilot and copilot, along with many passengers, causing the veteran to fly the plane, with the help of the flight attendant, a doctor on board, and a ground crew composed of his former wartime commander. Together, they must save the passengers and land the plane safely.

Right? If you’ve seen the film, you know that that’s an accurate synopsis. And yet, this movie is FUNNY AS SHIT because of HOW the writing enacts that plot, and how the jokes within are told by the actors. It’s all about writing within the setting. OK, let’s try another one, same set-up! Here’s the synopsis:

In a film directed by famous drama director Stanley Kramer, a group of passersby happen upon an escaped elderly criminal, whose run ends in a fatal car crash. With his dying breath, the criminal tells the travelers about stolen money, equaling about $350,000, and buried somewhere in southern California. After his death, the passersby divert their plan and race to claim the tax-free money for themselves. Along the way, their race attracts other people clamoring for the money, as well as an old policeman chasing after the old criminal’s legacy.

Sounds like it could be a cool action thriller, right? Instead, it became one of my all-time favorite comedies, and arguably the greatest ensemble movie ever made, I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL

It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World! is one of my favorite films, regardless of genre, and it’s a hell of a lot of fun. An INSANE cast of heavy hitters of the day, this film is basically perfect, and one of my personal gold standards of comedy alongside Airplane!. I’d gush about how good it is all day, but that isn’t the point of this little essay. But you see what I mean about the writing? Again, comedies tell pretty standard stories, but use humor to tell them. It’s about tone moreso than plot.

Character dynamics are pretty fluid as well, shifting from romantic to antagonistic to neutral to completely unrelated. And finally, the setting of these films is pretty damn fluid as well. Let’s see...what’s another of my favorites...GOT IT!

In a modern world, a group of vampires must adjust to modern society, in Wellington, New Zealand. In the process, they capture a human and convert him to the undead, attempt to find lost love (and new love), battle those that would want them dead, and struggle to find their place in both human and vampiric society, all the while dealing with their own interpersonal relationships.

In other words...

What We Do in the Shadows is a fucking FANTASTIC comedy, absolutely hilarious, and it’s in a fantasy/horror setting! I considered Ghostbusters for this, but that’s too easy. So, OK, setting also doesn’t really matter. It’s basically all in the writing and the acting. Obviously, there’s more than just that, but this is meant to be a simplification.

So, comedies are films in which the stories are told in a humorous manner, rather than a wholly serious one. Like I said, it’s all about tone. So, with that said...

THERE ARE TOO MANY GODDAMN COMEDIES HELP ME

Guys...I don’t know which ones to choose! I’ve seen so many goddamn comedies, and yet...there are so many that I just straight-up have never seen. It’s insane. And now, I’m being forced to choose which ones I need to watch, while limiting it to 30 films. It’s nearly impossible, but...Imma do it.

That’s not even mentioning organization, but...I kinda liked the chronological thing I did last month, so I’m gonna do that again, I think. So, OK, let’s do it! FUCKING SOMEHOW! The question is, of course, where do I start? Well, it’s probably fitting to start with a classic film director and comedy star from the beginning of film history, whose films I’ve somehow never seen. Let’s do this.

April 1, 2021: The Gold Rush (1925)

P.S. Oh, don’t worry, I’m aware that I still owe you guys Fantasy March reviews. They will continue to come alongside the Comedy April reviews, until they’re done. Look for another tonight, in fact. I WILL CATCH UP

#comedy april #user365 #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365days365movies #365 movies a year

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unkn0wnl0v3 · 4 years

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✿

October 27 2020

IM SO EXCITED!!!!!! I have him in a few hours and I’m ESTATIC!!!!!!! He’s so cute!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!(10:10)

I just wrote a whole thing and it deleted on accident so I’ll write it later(14:49)

Ok this is the best way I can describe what I wrote earlier: It’s getting cold here in California so heaters and blankets and sweaters are out and on. And OH MY GOD! Today FUCK! He was looking so DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!! His sweater had little bears on it and flowers with stars! It’s the warmest softest caramel looking sweater too! Sometimes when I see him like I have a class with him, I tear up cause of how beautiful he is. He has that like Russian jew look, like the milky angelic kind. Blue eyes and soft dirty blonde hair. He looks Jewish but also doesn’t, but then you look at him and he does. Idk people say Jewish isn’t a look but I think everyone reading this gets what I’m talking about... and hopefully I’m not coming off as completely anti-Semitic. Oh my god and his smile! Someone asked if it was December already like seriously during class and he went like “huh?” Then he started laughing and laughing! And his smile was just UGH! Fuck! Oh my god and the sweater, it’s like wool and it’s so cute! And quoting myself exactly after getting “bet-ted” by Cat, I wrote in the chat “Where’d you get your sweater? It looks so nice and cute.”, this was responded to by him basically checking himself out and then going “Thanks for the compliment Mimi I actually stole this from my dad so idk but it is really comfy:)” then someone wrote ‘LOL funny’ they thought my compliment was a joke???? THE FUCK!!!!!! The sweater is fucking cute! It has BEARS!! And like she wasn’t responding to him being laugh out loud funny cause she like wrote it after I asked where he got it in chat like 2 seconds after. Oh my gosh it’s such a cute fuckinh sweater. Imma find a good picture to like let y’all visualize what it looked like. And his style is so cute. He’s so East Coast. Like have you ever met someone who just doesn’t look like they’re from your part of the country. Everything about him is so opposite from what’s generally(at least generally to me) West Coast! I mean he could pass for Oregon, like if you played really loose with what Oregon natives look like. And that just adds to his charm, he’s so like fish out of water in my eyes. He’s always giggly and awkward too! And today he went “This is a main focus you all need to learn in AP Lit... wait this isn’t AP Lit this is English” It was so funny and cute to me MY GOD(btw I’m not in AP lit cause I’m not in the grade where I can be in AP lit yet and y’all already know the whole honors and not going to honors thing)! His little smirky Turning into like a wide grin cause of how funny he thought he was! Ugh it was so cute my my! He’s so cute GODDAMN!(20:22)

I’d let that man drink coffee with me and wake up next to me and smile then groan about how it’s cold then we’d embrace and fall back asleep together.(22:38)

Ok y’all pretend this sweater isn’t a Frankensweater made of random snips from his sweater. But if you look real close you can see the flowers and lowkey see da bears(22:56)

#teacher crush #tc blog #tc community #tcc post #tcc feelings #tcc quotes #tc crush #tcc

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do-what-the-knight-tells-you · 4 years

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So I saw a post on here talking about how, when you take the shit Geralt says in the TV series at face value, it’s unbelievably hurtful and cruel towards Jaskier, just, downright mean, and callous, and designed to make Jaskier feel he’s wasted two decades of his life.

But I hate that, because it makes me sad, and on a rewatch, I found an alternate take.

So whether Geralt is neurodivergent in a way we recognize clinically (ASD perhaps? I won’t address that here, but I love Autistic!geralt headcanons), or whether he’s just built himself a particularly abrasive method of interaction over 100 years of shit, prejudice, and abuse, his really rough, rude abrasive words towards Jaskier are not genuine.

And I would expect/choose to believe, that if Jaskier has continued their companionship over two decades, he has not only recognized this about Geralt, but decided he’s more or less okay with it.

So I had the thought particularly during the djinn episode– saw it pointed out somewhere, how un-comforting Geralt is when the elf-healer tells Jaskier the Djinn-curse can kill him. Jaskier turns, desperate, scared, says “fuck, Geralt!” and Geralt sort of awkwardly pats him on the back and says “yeah, we’re not gonna let that happen” in a fairly begrudging way, as if suggesting that the whole situation isn’t that big a deal.

So what if that response has less to do with not caring, with being callous towards Jaskier’s life and fear, and more with either a genuine awkwardness and discomfort with the idea of comforting someone, he really doesn’t know what to say, he’s not used to being a comfort (most ppl are scared enough of him that even when he rescues them, they’d still prefer he left than comfort them in any way), and he’s probably received very little comfort in his life, doesn’t know how to do it, and is barely experienced with the idea of admitting one might want or need it.

And/or, we see the candid, unemotional way he reacts to the ghoul bite in ep7, to the knowledge that he’s seconds from death. So clearly the smooth, stoic, sarcastic, unaffected thing is his usual method of handling scary shit. He doesn’t even raise his voice unless it might help (i.e. out-yelling Yennefer to be heard over the djinn-hurricane, hoping that he can persuade he to give up the really terrible course of action she’s on that’s gonna kill her).

So the other part of it could totally be a case of him downplaying the danger, trying not to think, speak, allude to, mention the danger, possibly as his own coping mechanism (a lot easier to be “fearless” when you repress the shit out of whatever might scare you. if you never let yourself think about the possibility that things might go horribly wrong, then it’s a lot easier to conduct yourself as if nothing bad might happen).

So when he awkwardly pats Jask on the back, distractedly, begrudgingly, patronizingly says, “yeah, we wont let that happen.” It’s genuine awkwardness, and/or a coping mechanism to not let himself think about how bad it is (focus on the solution, not the problem, solve this one, and then the next, etc… he’d do a good job surviving alone on Mars, I think), and/or an attempt to keep Jask calm by not validating his panic, like how if you don’t make a big deal out of a kid’s scraped knee, sometimes then the kid doesn’t panic either and it’s fine.

And likely Jaskier has been his companion long enough to know some of that, maybe even to actually be comforted by Geralt’s lack of panic. Imagine how goddamn frightening it’d be if your super brave/tough/stoic friend actually looked scared.

(the line, when the elf dude starts talking about how in love with Yennefer Geralt must be, when Geralt says “you’re making me uncomfortable?” It’s definitely a funny line, but also it’s possibly genuine. Geralt genuinely expressing himself)

And then later in the episode, Jaskier delivers that line about “wait, is this the moment you decide to finally care about someone other than yourself?” We literally saw him drop everything, ride across the countryside (putting you on Roach, which he never does), seek help from several unknown sources, including this sketchy sorceress chick (and he admits to her and the audience that his concern over saving Jask’s life was such that he A: skipped the opportunity to seek help for his tortuous insomnia issue and B: was more than a bit willing to sell himself into indentured servitude/ something that looked a bit like prostitution)…

Like, fuck off, it’s clear he cares an awful lot about you Jask, and you have to know that. so are YOU being cruel back? or, are you playing along with what Geralt seems to be comfortable with, caring about you so long as neither of you look at that straight-on, or make him talk about it.

okay, so than the mountain-top divorce. like, Geralt’s p harsh through a lot of that episode, but there is a tiny bit of playfulness I think still in that dig about worthy travel companions. And if this is a method of talking to each other that they engage in regularly, that Jaskier willingly keeps subjecting himself to…

and then Jask comforts Geralt after the mountain crossing, and when he floats the bit about them traveling together again (maybe implying that these recent adventures are new-ish again, perhaps after a period of separation, perhaps Geralt is extra harsh… perhaps this is a normal-ish thing that Jask has noticed, that Geralt is always more brusque, more accidentally hurtful rather than just dry, right at the beginning or end of their travels together, a defense mechanism of sorts? protecting himself from the pain of separation he’s trying not to acknowledge even exists?) anyway, he floats the line, and I’m p sure Geralt nods.

Jaskier seems to know him pretty damn well.

So none of this makes what Geralt says not shitty, and not hurtful, but rather than let myself wallow in the idea that Jask is completely devastated, feels he’s wasted twenty years of his life on a person who is literally ready to throw him away…

Hopefully not. Hopefully he knows Geralt well enough not to… not to give him a pass, necessarily, Geralt def needs to learn from and atone for that really gross behavior… but enough to know that Geralt’s just very bad, unpracticed, and a bit oblivious when it comes to hurt feelings, to understand that Geralt’s just in a shitty toxic place, that it’s got nothing to do with Jask, that the best thing for all of them is for him to remove himself as a target and let Geralt sort his shit out in his own.

That Jask knows this is one of those times where he can trust his friend with his body, but not his feelings/heart.mind/energy, and he needs to take care of himself first.

So hurt, yeah, but not like devastated, knowing that Geralt didn’t mean his words, but did mean, in that moment, to hurt Jask genuinely and drive him off, not in the light-brusque-teasing way that they sometimes have between them. Knowing both that Geralt was reacting to Yennefer, to other hurts, not to Jask, but also knowing that Geralt was willing to put his own momentary vindictive satisfaction over Jaskier… and so knowing that is was time for them to part for a while, for his own sake. That pushing through at this time was gonna be more masochistic than beneficial or productive, so it was time to look after his own mental health.

Like, this is sort of a pattern I’ve seen in folks in the real world. There’s someone close to me who struggles with some nasty bipolar shit (he’s not found a good med combo for him yet, and even when he’s in a more healthy place, lots of his tools and learned behaviors are mostly crappy still from years of this barely coping while undiagnosed), and sometimes he’s cruel as hell, usually when he hates himself the most, and is lashing out partly in an attempt to get you to say nasty shit back, and justify both his resentment of you, and his belief that he is a worthless shitty person.

And when he’s in those periods, it behooves many of us to just… walk away. like, if you can be/are willing/able to be the person that supports someone through that kind of shit, that’s totes your call to make, and might be a really awesome thing for that person (and that’s where professional help and support can also be awesome! Ppl who have trained to be able to hear the bad shit without taking it personally, and to still be able to guide you to better tools afterwards!)

But sometimes, you also have to take your own health and energy and stuff into account and go “I know this person is being a cruel asshole because they are sick and/or hurting… but also I do not need to swallow the shit just cuz there’s an explanation. so imma peace out until they get their shit together a little more, and are gonna be less toxic/hurtful to me, stop taking it out on people. I can help them, maybe, but their mental health is NOT my sole responsibility, and I do a disservice to both of us if I decide it is, and abdicate personal responsibly for my OWN health in the process.” Put on your own mask first, and all that.

(I’ve seen this in alcoholics I know, as well, and the other side of that is letting them know “hey, I know you feel like you have no control, but one area where you do have some, is how you treat people. and if you’re acting like an asshole, then ppl won’t want to be treated that way. They aren’t leaving because You suck, they are leaving because Your Behavior sucks, and if you want to be around them in future, you should maybe work on your behavior. You are not inherently a Mean Person, but the things you do and say to people are Mean, and they don’t need to sit there and let themselves be abused” Like, it is possible to be ill, and make mistakes!, without being consistently cruel to folk.)

So, magical shenanigans and hissy-fits not a perfect analogy for BD, but it resonated a bit, so I figured I’d share

#witcher #witcher meta #my meta #asd!Geralt

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bionicdragonguardian1 · 4 years

Text

Ranma 2/4

Part 3; Final: chapter 26-38

After this it’s on to good and proper timeline deliberation

These two are honest-to-God morons and I want to punch them in the face

*sigh* Ranma…

Y’know I almost had hope that this differed in the manga

Guess not

I DO NOT approve of alienation

However, getting emotional character development out of Ranma is like pulling teeth

So alienate away

Emotional Oof

THANK YOU!

*chuckles* Ryoga, you’re great

BREATHE

He’s dying don’t kill him early

FINALLY!

Ooo

didn’t see that coming

*tightly* I’m fine

okay, Ranma, you know what to do

*heaves giant ass sigh* RANMA!

*screams*

Look I know no chill, kay, shut up

RIP my shipping heart

*sighs* FUCK!

Not gonna lie, I’m Ranma

Careful, Akane might kill you

And with the way Hinako’s acting she deserves it

I’m actually with Nabiki on this one

I love how Ranma is rolling with this

Ooo that’s gonna sting

Those 3 are terrifying, honestly

Hinako, your timing is awful

STOP USING RANMA AS YOUR LANDING PAD SHAMPOO!

Ranma blubbering hurts WAY more than I thought it would

Ranma, you’re digging your own grave here

Someone call me when he learns his lesson FINALLY

*cringes* Yikes, tbh I can’t tell if she’s playing him

Ranma you shit

WHY

Why is it always Kuno?!

Oof this gonna hurt w Kuno’s understanding of Ranma’s curse

Expect all Ranma and Kuno- especially Ranko- interactions to hurt really bad

Ukyo, you’re an idiot

You too Ryoga

Honestly

Alright, that’s funny

Ukyo, you’re lucky they’re dumb

Oh God, you two are SO wrong, but I love it

Aaand what does that say about you two Akane?

Ooo I could make this really mean

It’s SO tempting

Well, that went nowhere

Poor Ranma

So many trans vibes, honestly

*screams* HOW? Who? WHY?!

Wha-wha-what?!?!

Ouch, that’s gonna sting SO bad

heheh

Ouch, that hurt surprisingly more than I thought it would

Further proof that Genma SUCKS

Just this once, gimme soft

PLEASE

Close enough…

Okay, this fight was AWESOME!!

*sigh* Why am I even surprised by Genma’s reasoning anymore?

If Ranma cries, Imma cry

Excuse me while I go scream

I literally don’t even know what to do with this

Chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on, I guess

okay, the end was funny though

Soun, is that bird didn’t look out of it’s gourd I’d believe you

*Chucks whole birdhouse* “fair”

A+ pic of Ranma

In his defense, he can argue something else, they just won’t listen cuz Shampoo won’t go with the truth

Alright, so Shampoo is smart, but with Ranma she’s an idiot

Wouldn’t the smart idea be to send Ranma AND Akane in with all 4 objects at the start?

Ok, Shampoo Sleep-Fighting is funny

Ranma is so underwhelmed that he’s just not even caring anymore

How Kasumi the scariest one to be possessed

Alright, anything with Nabiki on the cover worries me

Holy Shit he played Nabiki

I’d be impressed if I wasn’t annoyed to hell

Let’s all be glad right now that Genma never mastered this

Where do you think he would’ve sent it?

My inclination’s the Tendos

If nothing else I’m impressed by Nabiki

Now play this man like a kazoo PLEASE

When Ranma lectures you on how you’re acting like kids, you done fucked up

I’m with Ranma

Are you sure Akane?

Cuz I’m not

Heheheheh

Thems the breaks Ranma

You deserve it

Holy Shit Ryoga, nice

Now, I understand that Pigs are your life, but you might be dead

And honestly, I don’t blame him

Okay, that one’s gonna hurt

No matter how you slice it

Morality, Ranma, I know you have it

I hate this

Ok, that was uncalled for

Ranma he’s gonna kill you

Also WTF are you thinking?!?

Oof

Wait… what?

I’m officially concerned

Ok, I actually kinda like this interlude

Akane… seriously, trust is a thing you need to learn

One would think she’d learn…

Okay, that is actually creepy

I would too Ranma, I would too

Jesus fucking Christ, you suck Happosai

LetRanmaMeetHisMomCOVID19!

Gemma you shit

Happosai, go fuck yourself

Nevermind, don’t let him meet her, this is ridiculous

“Where’s the fridge?” “Akane wanted it”

I shouldn’t’ve laughed as hard as I did

*sigh* I just want Ranma to have ONE normal parental figure in his life, is that too much to ask?!

I already hate this idea

He comes back Imma scream

Since when?

On what planet does penpal = boyfriend/girlfriend?

Ryoga, PICK ONE!

I’m getting annoyed with you Ryoga, which sucks cuz you’re one of my faves

Ryoga, how are you this gullible?

You deserved that Ranma

I would wish the fate of being Kuno’s wife on no one

Ever

Congrats Ukyo you’ve actually made me freak out

I don’t appreciate it

At all

*shudders*

Oh this is SO weird

Of y’all keep making comments like this WHY do you keep trying?!

Nevermind it’s Hiroshi and Daisuke, they’re in the know

I’m going to say it again

AKANE LEARNS TO SWIM LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!

This is why you don’t buy cheap food people

I can’t lie, I’ve been waiting for Akane to get possessed

That moment when the ghost is honestly being a bit too sensitive

Actually, he didn’t, so shut up

I could make the Hawaiian thing so Explicit

But I won’t, cuz y’know consequences and stuff

I’m not going to ask how Ashura drowned at Josenkyo

Taro, quit being a dick, you turn into a Minatour-like thing

God he’s dumb

When Crazy and Crazy wanna duke it out, Ranma’s got the right idea

Excuse me, what?!

Ooo, now you’ve made Akane mad, run

Wtf is wrong with you, Kodachi, he’s literally unconscious!

I think that was almost character development?

I can’t tell

Ranma should not look that good in a suit

Whoa, she actually like… said it

Damn

Everyone’s got 4 sec to start treating Ranma like a person

Oof, right in his pride

Akane, I need you to stop being cute for 3 sec so I can focus

Yeah, I ain’t making it dormant

Ranma, I can’t tell if this is sexism or jealousy, either way it looks ugly on you

“At least he’s scaring the cats” harsh Kasumi

Okay, so I’m 90% sure it’s just jealousy, which better but still ugh

Ranma, you can be kickass when Akane is too

Ya goddamn moron

I’m going to beat that into him

There will probs be some angst about that

Not gonna lie

Look I’m good at it

Sorry

Ranma, if you want to get MURDERED that’s the way to do it

Smooth one, idiot

Called out

You better do this right or I swear, I’ll kill you myself, Ranma

I believe that is a fail

Of epic proportions, congrats

You NEED to learn to keep your mouth shut Soun

Awww

But he’s not lying!

Ranma, just run, she’s actually pissed this time

FUCKING RUN!

Alright, Akane, NO

You’re playing into the patriarchy

Oh, right… 80’s...

I’m changing that!!

Oh My God PLEASE tell me Ranma gets deaged!! Please!

Ranma’s got more patience for assholes than I do

Jesus

Hah

He deserved that

Part of me wants to see Kasumi actually get pissed off

YES!!

I LOVE degaging plots!

Ranma, I want you to math that one out, just a little

YES!

I am LIVING for this!

There is so much wrong with that sentence Kodachi

Ok, that was a little too cruel Akane

Someone either get Mousse recognized as Legally Blind

Or someone get him glasses that work!

Either one, but PLEASE

I just got a “draw me like one of your french girls” joke from a horse

Even though the widespread joke is LITERALLY at least 30 years later than this image

OOF

Ice Cold

We’re running out of chapters for her to find out

She better have a canon way of doing it otherwise I’m gonna be really mean with it…

Bean… Gun… Plant…

Eh Seen weirder

Aww Valentine’s Day chapter!

Yes!

Poor Ranma

These two are blind to each other

Heheh

Aww

I love these dorks

Heheh oops, busted

I still just find the principal an honest annoyance

Wait… when did Ranma start wearing a school uniform?

Congrats Miss Hinako!

I just now realized that I’m going to have write someone who is ok with having a female chest

Gag me with a spoon

Bleh

I’m bad at that

I really do want to give Ranma clothes that do actually fit his female form

Ranma needs to look at the terms and conditions of good curse

Cuz this is getting creative

Uh oh

Ranma you have a brain, please use it

Hehe, she’s doing her body laundry

Oh shit

THANK YOU SOUN!

Fucking Happosai

Why are you the actual worst!

Oh shit

Goddammit Nodoka

That one was ALL on you

I expected this from Nabiki, but wtf Nodoka?!

Happosai you twisted fuck

Heheheh alright that’s funny

If nothing else Shampoo is sneaky

WHY is that the only way to undo it?!

Poor Akane she is so lost

Aw, poor Ryoga

Definitely not, Akane, but thank you for posing that question

Thank you for calling him out on his ego

This would be hilarious to see this before anyone had any bit of a clue about Ranma’s two forms

Also, Ranma, you need to keep her safe from the Kunos

*sigh* Akane, you’re wrong

Ooo, not good

And that is what no self control looks like folks

What is with that ending?

And this is what manipulation look like folks

Also, y’know, robbing someone blind

I’m assuming this is Konatsu and I love them already

I’m using they/them cuz I’m unsure of what pronouns to use

Y’know I thought the Cinderella thing was a joke, turns out I was wrong

I do not understand Konatsu’s thought process w Ukyo at all

Also, can you not knock them out?

I am forgetting the name of that one Hero from Supergirl but if my understanding Konatsu is correct I’m DEFINITELY going to do that

Yeah, that’s NOT how that’s gonna go over

Okay, can we all agree that the trick Kuno used on Ranma is HORRIBLE, right?

Wholeass mood for Ranma

Like you two need to shut up

I just want Ranma to wear a sun shirt and trunks to the beach ONCE

Ryoga… how are you so lost that you came up through the ground?

Ranma, how are you both a dick and a good friend at the same time?

Just tell me How on Earth did Akari justify the hot water for Ryoga with revealing that he’s Pchan

I’d like to think that’d be something they wouldn’t skip over

No questions, just punches a grave

Why does that grave hit back?

Honestly Nodoka almost finding is stressing me out

I could be SO angsty with the Neko-ken Fear thing

Someone tell me not to I’m that much of an asshole

So glad that she’s apparently gonna learn bc I would’ve been SO mean

God, Genma you actually suck

Oh, thank God she’s not too smart

The fact that he’s 300% ready to die is actually depressing

That was actually quite touching

If we ignore the way Ranma phrasing that is just plain wrong

Uhm… what?

C-can she do that?

I hope not

God, you two are so dumb!

Is her definition of “manly” emotionless?!

Bitch, have a heart!

Oh God make them ALL leave! ALL OF THEM!

You feel? You said “you’re leaving”

Ranma, the fact that you didn’t put that together I can’t help you Like my dad says “I can’t fix stupid”

The fact that he feels the need to run screaming from his own house…

Nabiki, WHY

I’m convinced at this point that there is something Nabiki HATES about Ranma and that’s why she’s making his life a living hell

Cuz you do realize at least ⅓ of his problems are because she told someone something that was private

I can’t tell if that’s an insult or a backhanded comment

Either way, RUDE

I can’t tell, is that Konatsu or is that Tsubasa?

Must go back and check cuz Akane’s comment about “trasvestite and a homosexual” confused me since Ranma mentioned being “the first male kunoichi”But then who HAS TO BE Tsubasa says they’re a straight guy

*sigh*

Yep, nope, that’s Konatsu

My understanding was that Konatsu was like actually trans in canon

Apparently I mixed that up

I’m making it canon

MtF Konatsu

Bisexual Konatsu

One of these days someone is going to teach people to cook before assuming they know what they’re doing

Seriously It’s not that hard

Did they seriously just try to marry an unconscious Akane to Ranma?!

What The Fuck?!

Aww, she’s cute

Ryoga has a bad sense of direction, but he’s never missed before…

Okay, that’s a little strange

Why is she hatching?

Poor Mousse

Lol, that was so sweet until Ranma was dumb

It’s still sweet, who am I kidding

“Do I look like I wear Totoro underwear” oh that’s GOLDEN

Le shit

Firstly, Genma is still and idiot

Second, how is he already in Moscow?!

Third, why do I find this hilarious

Oh fuck

YES Kick her ass Akane!

I’m confused

Ok, was heralding back to the first chapter intentional?

Why does he have the staff in the bath?

Ok, I THINK I know what’s happening here…

Oof Can you two leave?

Ok, I was DEAD wrong

Wait…

If she…

If the DROWNED AKANE Imma commit murder

Damn, if you wanna piss off Ranma that’s how you do it

I don’t know why anyone would think pissing him off is smart

Oh, thank God, she’s okay

What is with this kid?

Why is he such a pain in the ASS?!

So I know she’s not dead

Unless SEVERAL DOZEN Fanfics have lied to me

Which is entirely possible since they were all listed as AUs

Uhm… Ranma… you okay?

Good, get him out cuz he’s clearly in shock

This hurts

Okay, hate to be the one who complains that Akane’s not dead, but that doesn’t track

At all

Can I rescience this?

Please?

Am I going to be an ass about it, probably, but it’s me no one should be surprised by that in any way

“Honored and crazy guest” I mean, accurate

Alright, Shampoo you’ve got exactly 1 chance

Then I’ll maybe apologize for calling you names constantly

Oh I am gonna be such an asshole in this scene

Also extend it some

Oh, God I could be such a dick

I’ll restrain

I’ll just write one-shots instead

Mousse do the right thing

You have a Moral Compass I know that!

“Anytime THIS YEAR!” Damn the witty quips

Yeah, but you won morally

That’s what’s important

Why the Scooby-Doo line?

Go Ranma!

Ok, so that comment about Ranma basically fighting a God is NOT an overstatement

Noted

Congrats Ranma you made me Google a word

Turns out it is a word that had its height of use in the 80s

Neat

Explains why I had no clue what it meant

Someone shoot those damn chicken brains OUT OF THE SKY!

“Only rocks”, rocks Ryoga just confirmed are 3 Tons

*sigh* I’m gonna have to physics the shit out of that

Joy

I cannot tell you the amount my heart dropped when I saw a full color double spread

Jesus Christ

DAMN

You’re gonna make me cry, dammit

Aww

YAY!

Heheh poor Ranma

Chill, hun, you’re good

Aww he’s tiny!

WHAT IS WITH YOU 2?!

STOP trying to marry your kids while they’re unconscious!

I’m not crying you are!

*tightly* I’m fine

Kodachi LET IT GO

Literally everyone else too! I hate you all

Just so it’s on the record I’m pissed

Ok, so “back to the start” is definitely an oversimplification because Akane knows Ranma loves her Ranma knows she knows

Akane! Your turn!

Ooo, IDEA!

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just-binch-thoughts · 4 years

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I sent myself this ask because I'm bored. I will reply to this ask, because, I'm bored. I will most likely do something stupid in the response, like show one of my favorite gifs, or say "fuck" a lot, or show a meme I made in the last few days, because I've been making memes. They're mostly dnd memes about my party and DM but I'm really excited about my character so I might just ramble about that. Yeah imma do dat.

This is one of my favorite gifs.

I don’t feel like saying fuck

My character is a kenku (bird person) named Cure. Kenku don’t have their own voice, don’t have creativity and were banished to the land of DnD by their god, who didn’t like them collecting shinies. Which, shame on you god, birds are meant to collect shinies! It’s in their fucking nature! Fuck you god! please keep in mind that this asshole god who banished my babies is not at all a god that people actually believe in except if... you believe in dnd gods....

Anyway, Cure has a whole plague doctor outfit, which is incredibly funny because kenku have BIG BEAK. + plague doctor mask, how the fuck does that fit. HOW. They’re a divine soul sorcerer, which is magic dude that heals, which funnily enough didn’t develop because of the VERY OBVIOUS part of him being a PLAGUE DOCTOR. He introduces himself by saying “I am the cure” which is not at all a reference to a certain SCP I forgot the number of. He’s gone adventuring because his sister, Remedy, (Fight me fuckers, her name is Remedy) is sick and he’s looking for a.... he’s..... his name. It’s not hard to understand. fuck. So she’s the reason he’s gone and focus on the healings madjiks. Which I realized a few sentences ago also fits with the whole plague doctor thing. Also, since he’s a sorcerer, he’s got mainly charisma which I rolled a fucking 18 for. Which is HIGH. So I’m going to abuse that charisma to seduce, and my pick up line is “You are my cure”, and I’ve got no idea where he heard that but I like it. just think of a big bird with arms and no wings and a plague doctor outfit looking you deep in the eyes, leaning slightly forward and saying seductively in a preferably deep voice “You are my cure”. Now I’m not a furry nor turned on by that but it’s funny so I’m definitely doing that. Fuck the DM. Don’t fuck the DM he’s my friend and also creepy. But fuck his plans for the game! So, since it’s an aberration campaign apparently, and I had to pick a language, I picked deep speech as one of Cure’s languages, and I’ve made a meme that explains his predicament with that, so I’m going to place that here.

Poor Cure. I’m laughing at you and am not at all feeling empathy towards your situation. You are a joke made when I was stuck on the question of what my character is and everyone agreed that it was a good idea. You are a mistake. I love you, you piece of shit. Good boy, have some bread. *throws the crows some bread*

I’ve thought about making Cure family of my other kenku character, Hoot, (yes I’ve made a crow person and named them Hoot, this is DnD I will fuck with names whenever I want) but I don’t think that’ll be a good idea since hoot is a fucking basic binch. Her motivation is “getting wings”, which is so basic and lame for a kenku like wtf binch get your shit straight. Hoot is also fun, she hates the gods for what they did to her people and she’s a druid trying to mix her crow form with her normal bird-person form and give herself wings. Which is very different from Cure, who is a sorcerer that’s got “favored by the gods” which is funny because kenku, and apperently sorcerers can get magical wings late-game? That’s what my DM said, so Cure has more chance to actually get wings than the one who’s goal it is to get wings, but damn if his sister doesn’t die she’s going to be my next character and you bet she’s going to be a bard. Or a cleric.

I’ve formed a deep love for kenku the moment I heard of them, but it’s better than being a goddamn tabaxi lizardfolk because you can’t fucking choose between the 2 *glares at very specific party member*

#me liking dnd #this was a bad idea #long?? post???#kenku are the fucking best

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dzamie · 4 years

Text

I watched the live action Jungle Book! I’d say it was disappointing, but I set appropriate expectations going in. So, imma get into it:

So, the good parts first, in no particular order:

I really like Kaa’s hypnosis effect. The Disney animated movie’s swirling colors always looked really, really goofy to me, but the live-action’s waves of light and dark were very well done and legit alluring.

There are a lot of little jokes here and there that I feel were written in case they wanted to use them in a commercial. “You have never been a more endangered species than you are at this moment” is actually pretty darn funny.

The bodies moved well. King Louie was really the only animal I thought was straining realism too far; the positioning of limbs and torsos and stuff was pretty spot-on. Tails were a bit wonky, but you have to be looking for something like that, as someone with a slight tail fetish might.

This is definitely unintentional, but Mowgli makes an “oof” sound whenever something bowls into him or he leaps roughly against something. It sounds like the Roblox hurt noise. Tone-breaking, but HILARIOUS.

Having Mowgli seem to fear the bonfire was a nice touch.

As was having the final fight seem to take place at the watering hole, this time during wet season. Far from dry, the exact opposite of the Water Truce occurs - everything is in conflict.

Now, the less pleasant bits.

I mentioned the Water Truce callback was neat? Yeah. What a shame they took multiple minutes to repeat over and over that the Water Truce was that there was a truce around the watering hole. I’m glad they used all that time to explain why it was that Shere Khan wouldn’t attack anyone so he could conveniently see the man-cub. Also to set up the schtick where Mowgli has been Inventing Things because he is a Man.

Elephants are now a religion. I don’t like it, especially because it’s used to set up Mowgli rescuing a baby elephant from a hole, so that Baloo and Bagheera can see that Man Is More Powerful Than God.

The wildebeest herd exists only for shakycam purposes. There really isn’t much reason for Mowgli to not go directly into the river and escape Shere Khan on a log that way.

Oh how they ruined Kaa. I do rather like how she has a more cloying, sweet personality (it’s not better or worse than the animation’s rather goofy fellow, just different), but they whole-ass saw a snake character and thought “hey wouldn’t it be cool if she never wove around him or approached him from different angles? Let’s make sure to never show her for more than 8 seconds at a time, too; we MUST cut between her and Mowgli. There’s simply no way to shoot a scene where they’re both in the shot, talking.”

I hope you like snakeless ScarJo voiceover, because that’s literally half of Kaa’s appearance, from first line to last. It’s great that the man who hurt Shere Khan with fire just happened to be Mowgli’s dad, because I guess it’s not enough that Shere Khan wants to kill all humans in the jungle; he must have a Deep Personal Connection with the man-cub.

I can sort of understand coming out of the hypnotic vision to see Mowgli entirely in her coils, from a “this is Mowgli’s perspective” point of view, but wow it’s really unsatisfying. Look, the animated version had Mowgli slide into pre-coiled snek body, but at least we saw them interact. Kaa is pretty much a static prop here. What a waste of a serpentine character.

For someone who is afraid of heights and doesn’t know Mowgli, Baloo sure is eager to climb a big, tall tree and risk his own life against a giant, hypnotic snake.

Minor note: with all the focus on seeing Kaa from Mowgli’s point of view, Disney sure chickens the fuck out when it’s time to be snake chow. C’mon, you stupid mouse, show us what Kaa looks like inside.

It’s kinda weird that Bagheera and Baloo are so familiar with each other, considering that Mowgli has been in close contact with Bagheera all his life and neither met nor heard of the bear.

Shere Khan is almost comically evil to the wolves. Makes it hard to take his “I’m actually justified in my desire to kill you” thing seriously.

I feel like Disney hasn’t grown out of its “haha imagine SONGS in a CHILDREN’S MOVIE. What a stupid fucking idea” phase. Baloo and Mowgli sing off-tempo and off-key, and King Louie does a weird half-speaking thing that lets you know they want to do a song, but haven’t the slightest clue how to transition into one, and they still want to pretend to be a gritty serious realistic movie with no singing because that’s too silly.

King Louie Is Twenty Five Goddamn Feet Tall Because We Watched King Kong The Other Day

They set Louie up to be a mob boss, calm and composed for like a minute or two, and that goes out the window in no time flat. They try to bring back that structured “I help you you help me bada bing bada boom" thing back in the chase scene, but literally nobody cares what the chaser says in the chase scene. If they did, it wouldn’t be a chase scene.

“No, they don’t fear me, they fear you.” Except clearly they fear you because your MO this entire time has been “let’s kill and threaten animals and see if Mowgli comes back faster.”

Baloo, the laziest bear you ever did see who heard the wolf pledge exactly one (1) time and immediately dismissed it as propaganda, can recite it from heart because Shere Khan needs to be directly confronted with The Power Of Friendship

Can’t be a climax without fire. It’s a good thing that Mowgli can always find a safe path through this raging inferno that’s been burning steadily through the forest for the last few minutes or more.

Mowgli’s entire strategy hinges on many things that could go wrong at any moment:

a) the vines don’t catch on fire as he’s running through the burning forest

b) the vines and branch don’t catch on fire after he suspends them in the air in the middle of a huge forest fire

c) the dead tree, notably made of dead wood, which some may know to be extremely flammable, is not on fire nor does it catch on fire as he’s climbing it

d) Shere Khan follows him onto the branch

e) Shere Khan leaps at him on the fragile branch that Shere Khan seems to notice is weak

f) the vines and branch don’t catch on fire while he’s climbing them in the middle of a huge forest fire

g) he finds a way back out of the woods literally filled with fire

h) Shere Khan even follows him all the way in rather than going “nah the little bitch is gonna burn. Let him.”

i) the animals forgive him for setting the trees ablaze

They let ScarJo sing Trust In Me during the credits. Minor suggestion: don’t.

I choose to interpret Mowgli not seeing what happened with Kaa and Baloo to mean Kaa is still alive, and the monkeys trying to dig Louie out of the ruins to mean that he’s dead. This is entirely because of favoritism.

Compared to the animated version, this movie is much more based around Shere Khan, compared to around Mowgli and the jungle. Rather than “Mowgli won’t be safe here; send him to the Man Village so Shere Khan won’t kill him,” it’s “Mowgli won’t be safe here, but Shere Khan is going to threaten and probably kill us until Mowgli returns anyway, which he surely will because Shere Khan said so.”

They tried to do a grey-morality sort of thing by justifying Shere Khan’s fear of fire and hatred towards Men. But it kind of backfires because Shere Khan keeps being incredibly evil for no particular purpose aside from making his death be a good thing for everyone, and the one crime Mowgli commits (big fire) would not have happened if Shere Khan hadn’t announced his plan to kill the man-cub.

I really miss the allegories to different kinds of philosophies towards society from the animated version. The live-action replaces them with examples of different abusive relationships (Baloo is a manipulative fast-talker, Louie is supposed to be a mob boss, Kaa’s comfort is genuine but overshadowed by a desire to do harm), which is... nice, but not really my cup of tea.

Holy shit there is SO MUCH SHAKYCAM. You can barely see some of the scenes from all the shaking around. “Did we inspire adrenaline in you? Don’t you wanna go fast?” Yes, of course, but what am I doing this about? “...SHAKYCAM!! LOUD NOISES!!” It’s overstayed its welcome.

Realistic CGI animals are actually terrible at emoting.

This felt like yet another action film. Every opportunity they had, they threw in another fight scene or chase scene. You could take most of them out, cut off about 15 minutes from the movie, and still not have removed anything important.

All in all, I’m glad I now have 22 seconds of Kaa saying things. They really shouldn’t have given ScarJo so much coverage in the commercials, though. She’s in the movie for about 4 minutes, and she’s a visible snake for much less. I don’t think I’d pay to see this, and really this just gives me more reason to not watch other Disney live-action remakes.

Shakycam should have died eight years ago. Bring back shot composition.

#text #long post #The Jungle Book #reviews

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spacebeyonce · 7 years

Text

good morning. I’m rested enough and I’ve had my coffee so now I can finally get into this.

so last night I saw tlj and it was, as previously stated, pretty underwhelming. but I’m gonna dive in and poke at shit that stuck out to me.

alright! quick and dirty let’s do it!

the good:

uhhhh fin looked beautiful as usual. and he was still so brave and ready to help the resistance out (albeit unwillingly but we’ll get into that) even though he just wanted to find rey and make sure she was okay.

finn and rose trashing the casino. it was very hard to warm up to rose, but her story about her and her sister’s childhood got to me. all that glitter and opulence and waste. the rich were like beautiful shiny parasites, and you had to look really hard past the shimmer to see all the life they were sucking out of everything. so them trashing the casino, just like rose wanted to, was a little satisfying.

I guess this is good if I thought it was hilarious but kylo killing snoke by using snoke’s shitty mind powers against him. seeing that kylo was going to use a saber and thinking it was going to be on rey when it was on him all along. that honestly took me the fuck out so I guess it’s good.

the finn vs phasma fight!!! it was beautiful and I was so glad to see finn take out one of the people who hurt him. let finn destroy all his abusers 2k17.

that finnrey reunion hug was pretty goddamn solid and wholesome and I smiled a lot when it happened. reunited and it feels fucking awesome.

and uhhhh that’s it. I had to work very hard to put at least more than two things that I liked.

so onto the bad:

lmao what wasn’t bad about this movie. but I’ll just do a few.

making rey focus on trying to redeem kylo was a fucking mess and kinda felt like character assassination. rey would’ve stayed focused on trying to kick that shitheel into a goddamn ravine, not redeeming him. I was so tired of hearing her say over and over that there was still some good in kylo, that he could still be turned. the first time she called him ben gave me an ulcer.

and since we’re on rey and kylo and their bullshit, what the fuck was that force connection shit going on. the first time it happened I felt a headache show up behind my eye and it didn’t leave. every time they connected and spoke through the force it got worse. it was honestly rather boring to endure and I definitely could’ve done without it.

finn getting sidelined was what I expected but still so fucking annoying. he barely had any part in this movie, which was jarring after going through tfa, where he played a pretty big part in everything in the movie. in here, he was just comedic relief, barely speaking anything but witty one liners with no character development to be found.

the fact that the little side mission that poe, rose, and finn had going on completely failed, and caused more harm than good. which uhhh super burned my ass but I’m gonna get into that a little more in a bit. but everything they did, trying to find a code breaker, breaking onto the FO starship, all of it failed, and so many people died because of it. it was frustrating because they were trying hard to help the resistance escape but in the end nothing really came of it.

that finnrose kiss was so dry. they barely had any good chemistry, and should just stick to being friends. they’d be better friends than lovers, and it was very hard to warm up to rose after how they introduced her to finn.

snoke as a whole was a rather underwhelming villain, which kinda sucked since they gassed him up so much in tfa. to have him be this weird lookin’ ass wrinkle in a chair that got cut in half with a quickness so we could make way for supreme leader kylo ren was uh. boring.

again, having to look at adam driver’s weirdly shaped torso was really very unfortunate. he’s a fucking weirdly shaped dude. I got nothing out of seeing his bare chest. my pussy has never been so dry. he’s a very unattractive man. please stop making me look at him. why couldn’t I see john boyega’s bare chest instead.

I could go on with the bad! but I won’t. instead let’s get into the ugly:

and GODDAMN was it ugly. major ugly points!

WOW how many times did the characters of color get hurt or degraded??? ESPECIALLY finn and poe, jesus christ.

introducing rose by having her taze finn so hard he slams into an opposite wall did not make me like her! people in my theater laughed while I flinched so hard my seat rocked a little. brutalizing the black man isn’t funny!! but every time finn got hurt people fucking laughed!!! when rose tazed him, when hux fucking slapped him, people laughed. good to know that black people in pain is hilarious to y’all! imma remember that y’all think humiliating and degrading black characters is so funny! thanks!

and speaking of finn, I’ve briefly spoken on this already, but rose saying he was a deserter and a traitor pissed me off. just ‘cause y’all think he’s a resistance hero doesn’t mean he’s signed on to be a part of the resistance. wanting to find rey and be safe doesn’t make finn a traitor.

for a moment, in tfa, finn’s interests aligned with the resistance’s, and so he helped out. he hasn’t agreed to be a part of the rebellion, a part of the war. and while finn and phasma’s fight was bitchin’, to have finn suddenly stand tall and declare he’s ‘rebel scum’, even though at the beginning of the movie he was ready to leave to try and find rey, was jarring. like they couldn’t have shown finn having thoughts about being part of the resistance or anything??? they couldn’t show finn making this choice on his own instead of being tazed or grabbed by the collar and dragged into it???

poe. jesus christ poe what did they do to you. making poe into this - this fuckin hot head who doesn’t listen to his higher ups in a shot for glory and heroism was horrific. that wasn’t who he was in tfa. poe’s not in the rebellion to get glory, he’s here to - to try and save people. to get the first order’s foot off of people’s necks so everyone can just breathe freely. to have him disrespect leia and holdo, undermining their authority at every turn was so disrespectful to watch. poe’s not some sexist firecracker but that’s what tlj made him into and it honestly hurt to look at.

watching him get stunned across the room into another wall by leia was also so ugly to look at, and made me flinch super hard once again while people in the theater laughed. so.

and SPEAKING OF CHARACTER ASSASSINATION, LET’S GET INTO THE BIGGEST ONE - LUKE FUCKING SKYWALKER. I’ve never been so bitter.

making luke out to be someone who’d murder one of his own students - his blood - at the first sign of darkness or conflict was. wow. and it was especially ugly because it took the burden of kylo’s shitty choices away from him, and placed it onto luke’s shoulders. it was luke’s fault that kylo turned to the dark, it wasn’t his choice, luke pushed him, and kylo was just a scared little boy.

which is fucked. because in the previous movie, tfa was all about choices. finn and kylo were such huge narrative foils because at the heart of them it was about choices. finn, who was raised in the heart of the dark, stolen from his family and forced to be a soldier for a cause he didn’t really believe in, made the choice to not kill for the FO, to not want anything to do with them. kylo, raised in light, trained to be a jedi and keep the skywalker legacy going, chose, as a man, not some boy, to kill his peers and join the dark side. he chose to force himself into that mold to be the next vader.

and to say that he really didn’t?? and that the reason he went dark is because of luke?? it pissed me off. it’s still pissing me off!!! it was horrible!!! it took all the choice, all the blame away from kylo, and put it all on luke. and that’s pretty ugly.

luke dying was also fucking stank and I don’t give a shit how full of peace luke was. it was stupid. it was so ridiculous. I can’t properly describe how outraged I was, and still am, at luke just.....disappearing. just going away. I wanted luke to be a part of the resistance more, to meet the rest of the new trilogy people, and now I won’t ever get that and it’s frustrating. it was a weak bitch move. there was a lot more luke could’ve done. so this was just uhhhh. shit.

I’m sure there’s more I’m missing! but that’s what stuck out to me the most. so yeah! tlj kinda sucked. it sucked pretty bad actually. underwhelming at worst, forgettable at best. a solid 3/10. and that’s being generous.

#tlj spoilers

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hotwinchester-blog · 7 years

Text

Naughty man- Part Three

Summary: after meeting with Dean you two will finally go on a date, what will happen? Will things get steamy (I’m using this adjective way too damn much) or will the date go all wrong? Read to find out!

Characters: Dean, Reader, Claire (OFC), Stephy (OFC), Gadreel.

Words count: 3605 sorry-not-sorry.

Warnings: none, just a little bit of sexual tension, not much though.

A/N: I’m so damn sorry it took me so much guys! School sucks really, and I had to study ‘cause this is an important semester, but anyway, I hope you enjoy the fanfiction! It got a little bit out of hand ‘cause I wrote a lot (more than usual) but here it is :)

Catch up: PART 1 & PART 2

If you wanna get tagged, just ask me HERE !

7:30 AM.

Damn it why am I up?

Actually, you did know why, you were going to have a date with Mr. Handsome that night, and you were nervous.

So fucking nervous.

You decided to sleep a little bit more, being too early, you pulled the covers up until they reached your chin and closed your eyes. Trying to think about everything but the date with Dean.

But nothing, all you could think was what you were going to do with Dean, how he was gonna dress, what place he would’ve taken you, everything related to this goddamn date.

You and Dean have been texting a lot in the past days; he would always text first, because as he said, he needed to “make it up to you” but also because you liked all the attention he was giving you… Maybe he could be the right person after your unforgettable relationships.

7:40 AM.

“Alright I can’t sleep, Imma have a cold shower and get ready for the day,” you mumbled to yourself.

While you were headed to the shower, your phone lit up.

It was Dean. Just by reading the name, you swore you felt your heart flutter

‘Morning sweetheart… couldn’t get any sleep, I’m sorry if I woke you up’

‘Hey Dean, actually I woke up earlier than usual today, no worries… How you doin’ ?’

‘I’m good thanks… ready for tonight?’

‘Sure I am… a lil’ bit anxious though, but we’ll talk later, I’m having a shower Dean-o’

‘Alright, make sure you pick the right dress, I want you to wear a sexy one ;)’

And with that, Dean left you chuckling and blushing… a lot.

Time skip…

A few hours later, you went out to have shopping meeting with your friend Stephy.

“Hey girl!” you heard someone shout behind your back.

“Stephy!” you hugged her, it’s been a while since the last time the two of you have seen each other, so you decided to bring your friend with you, also because you needed advice on the sexy dres you were supposed to wear to impress Dean.

“Ahw, I’ve been missing you, where have you been lately?” you asked Stephy.

“Well y’know, my new work is a pain in the ass, I’m there 24/7 so I’m always busy” she explained.

“Oh I see… so today’s finally your day off huh? Let’s have some fun!” you said excitedly.

“Hahaha alright kiddo… what’d ya need helo with?”

“Well uhm… I’m going on a date with Dean tonight so I was wondering if-“

“OH ARE YOU SERIOUS?! WE GOTTA BUY THE SEXIEST DRESS IN TOWN GIRL, C’MON!” she shouted clapping her hands for the excitement.

Stephy took you to an all too girly place, there were dresses everywhere, until your eyes landed on a long but elegant dress.

“S-Stephy, look at that one!” you exclaimed.

“What which- Oh that one!” she pointed to the dress you were talking about.

The dress was black, with an open back, floor length, and a v-neckline. It was beautiful, just as you liked, it was a little bit tight on the curves but you didn’t mind.

“Wow” you said, eyeing your dress because that sure as hell would be yours in not even a second “Shall I take it Steph? What do you think?”

“Well first of all chill, you gotta try it on first then we can talk about it” she chuckled softly.

“Yeah… I’ll be right back”

Heading to the changing rooms, you stripped fastl off your clothes, throwing them everywhere without caring on where they fell. Once you tried the dress, you heard Stephy calling you.

“Hey Y/N, you’re done there? I wanna see ya girl!”

“Yep, I’m coming!” you shouted.

You got out of the changing room barefoot, forgetting about your shoes and walked directly in front of your best friend.

“So? How do I look?” you asked impatiently.

“You look gorgeous hun! Turn your back towards the mirror and see it yourself! It suits you perfectly!” she winked.

You did as she asked, turning on your back and looking at yourself in the mirror, she wasn’t lying, the dress was awesome, it hugged your curves and it showed your cleavage a little bit, not too much. However, your favorite part of it was the back. As you were looking at yourself, you realized something that completely changed your mind.

“Stephy, I can’t buy this dress…” you said sadly, eyes on the ground.

“What? Why not?! Are you nuts? You look great honey, trust me!” she tried to convince you. “What’s wrong Y/N?” she furrowed her eyebrows looking at you.

“Well… the dress it too long and I’m fucking short, I look so bad in it” you replied with an angry voice.

Stephy started to laugh aloud, you didn’t get why she was laughing like an idiot, but it made you furious.

“What’s so funny now?” you asked, annoyance in your voice this time.

“Oh God I can’t help it!” she laughed even more “Y/N, ever heard of heels?”

“Yeah sure, but they won’t work on me, I’d look still short” you sighed.

“Okay first of all you’re not that short, I’ve seen thousands of girls that didn’t even reach 4 ft and you’re way taller than that, second of all we’ll buy higher heels if you think you still look short… You don’t need to worry honey,” she said smiling and hugging you.

“Sorry for yelling at you Steph, it’s just that this date is making me nervous and I wanna look beautiful for Dean… That’s it” you apologized.

“No worries, that means that you care about him huh?” she said elbowing you.

“Oh shut up!” you slapped her arm lightly ì, chuckling.

After you bought the dress and the heels, you all went to Claire’s, deciding she was gonna doll you up with make-up.

“HEY GIRLS! COME IN AND Y/N WE GOTTA HURRY!” Claire screamed as she dragged you in her room, along with Steph.

Claire made you sit in a chair, in front of what looked like a make-up station, and started to “make you beautiful” with her magical hands.

“So tell me Y/N” Claire started “Where are you and Dean going to eat?” she asked with curiosity.

“Uh actually I don’t know… we haven’t planned on that yet” you admitted.

“Maybe he knows where to bring ya but it’s a surprise so he’s not telling you” Steph stated shrugging.

“How romantic!!!” Claire shouted. “He’s so cute… I’ve known him since a while and I’ve never thought he was a romantic type of guy”

“He’s not” you stated. “He’s all flirty, kind, funny, handsome… those green eyes, I could stare at them all day long, his freckled and-“

“Y/N, we get it you like him, a lot” Steph said laughing and winking at you.

“You got it bad for him huh?” Claire added.

You looked at your best friends, blushing. They were right, you really liked Dean, like, really really like him.

“Girls” you cleared your throat “Can we please focus on my make-up and hairstyle?” you tried to change topic.

“’Aight, Ma’am” they both said in unison.

They quickly got to work, you missed staying with the girls, you used to have a sleepover every once or even twice a week if you were lucky. Y’all talked about boys, painted your nails (actually, they forced you to) and eventually watched a movie until late night, when you all would be fallen asleep.

After one long ass hour, your make-up and hairstyle were done.

“Okay, you can go wear your dress” Claire stated.

You nodded and took your dress to change, not wanting to be seen by your besties, you hid in the bathroom.

Once you were ready, you opened the bathroom door and looked at the girls.

“What do you think?” you asked, adjusting your dress.

“Oh Gosh Y/N” Claire tried to speak, when you noticed that she had tears in her eyes.

“Claire?” you tried to get your friend’s attention “Wait, are you… Are you crying or something?”

“Yeah I’m sorry… it’s just that you- I can’t remember seeing you like this, happy and stuff” she sniffed.

You quickly got what she meant, she was referring to your last relationship with Steven, one of the worst you ever had. You did not want to remember him but now that Claire was crying, you blacked out for a few seconds before you felt someone shaking you.

“Y/N” it was Steph “Y/N please focus darling, don’t think about it okay? Forget that asshole”

“I-I’m so sorry honey, I didn’t mean to bring that topic up” Claire apologized, but you shook your head squeezing her hand to reassure her everything was okay.

“No worries, you’re just happy for me…both of you are and I appreciate that, seriously. I love you girls,” you told them, opening your arms for a “group hug”.

Suddenly, Steph released both of you from your embrace and looked at the time.

“Uh Hun, at what time should you be home for Dean to come and get you?”

“Oh we still have time I have to be there in-“ you looked at your phone.

9:45 PM.

“HOLY SHIT I’M LATE!” you shouted, starting to panic.

“Hey, hey, hey! Chill” Claire tried to calm you down. “Stephy is gonna drive you there, you know that she drives fast so you’ll be there in a blink of an eye”

“Okay” you sighed, wiping a few droplets of sweat that formed on your forehead.

Not even five minutes later and you were home.

For once, lucky was on your side. Dean wasn’t there yet.

“Alright Y/N” Stephy started “Y’know I ain’t good at this, but I hope you’ll have a great night, Dean honestly looks like a good guy, he won’t disappoint you”

“I bet Sam told you to tell me this huh?” you smirked, knowing too well the two of them wanted you and Dean to get together.

“Guilty.” She said laughing. “We just hope you two’ll get along… and bang” she wiggles her eyebrows.

“Steph!” You scolded her, punching her on the shoulder sarcastically.

“What? You will have to someday, besides, if Sam is good at that, I can’t imagine how Dean is” she smirked.

“Really Stephy?” you rolled your eyes. “You got Sam in your pants already?”

“Yes” she said proudly. “We were a little drunk, but I do remember his big, thick-“

“ENOUGH!” you shouted, a look of disgust on your face. “You’ll tell me what exactly happen later… not really the details of the sex part though”.

“I should get going,” she stated out of nowhere “Sam just texted me saying that Dean’s arriving here so… Have fun” Steph hugged you tightly and then climbed in her car.

A few minutes later, you heard the engine of the Impala outside. You were so nervous.

Okay Y/N, you can do this and everything is gonna be fine, it’s just a date after all. You thought.

You heard Dean knocking on the door, opening it your jaw dropped.

“Hi Sweetheart” he greeted you, and then eyed you up and down.

What you did not notice is that your beauty stunned Dean.

“Uhm- hey… r-ready to go?” you stuttered, the first time a man made you feel like that.

Dean moved his eyes from your body to look in your eyes.

“Uh… yeah” he was at a loss for words, he couldn’t get his eyes off you, nor could you off him.

After climbing in the Impala, Dean decided to break the silence between the both of you.

“You look very beautiful tonight” he complimented you.

You felt yourself blush at the comment “You don’t look bad yourself” you winked. The tension between the both of you longer gone.

“So, where are we eating?” you asked, having no clue.

“I wanted to ask you first, ‘cause I don’t know your likes so… I have a few options”

“Shoot” you smiled.

“Alright so, we could go to an Italian restaurant or…”

“Or?”

“Well, looks like there wasn’t another one” he chuckled looking at you for a split moment.

“That’s fine to me,” you laughed.

Once you arrived at the restaurant, Dean asked you to hold your hand and you gladly accepted, loving the simple gesture.

“Can I help you?” the waitress asked you two smiling.

“Yep, I booked a table for two,” he said. “Winchester”

“Alright I’ll bring you to your table,” she said, gesturing to follow her.

“There you go, here are the menus, when you’re ready, just call me,” she announced.

“Will do, thanks in advance,” you told her smiling.

“Mmmh, there are a lot of yummy things to eat” Dean mumbled to himself, but you heard him clearly.

“Yup, I agree” you told him giggling.

“Alright, so how about we get a plate of spaghetti for two and eat it together as a lovely and super romantic couple?” he suggested.

You thought he was being serious, but when he saw the panicked look on your face, he laughed.

“Y/N I’m kidding,” he said, “Besides, it’ll get messy”

“Thanks God, I’m sorry I panicked for a few seconds… I guess I’m being too exaggerated about this date thing” you explained him.

“Don’t need to worry, I don’t bite” he chuckled.

The waitress came and scribbled down your orders.

Once everything was set she told the two of you ‘enjoy your meal’, you muttered a silent “thanks” before getting to eat.

You and Dean finished quickly, probably you both were hungry, and began to talk.

“So Y/N… You promised me you were gonna talk about yourself tonight, shoot” he winked.

“What do you wanna know specifically?” you asked smiling.

“I dunno… for starters, what do you do?”

“I work in a bar at the moment, until I find something better than that, I’m stuck here,” you told him. “What about you, Dean?”

“I uh-…” he started to think, as he didn’t want to tell you what his real work was, you could sense that, but you didn’t say anything, maybe he was uncomfortable with that.

“I work as a mechanic” he started “I also uh-… hunt sometimes when I can”

“My dad use to hunt too… but he didn’t really want to talk about it, saying it was too dangerous for me and my family,” you remembered those times your dad wouldn’t get home for a week, or even more. “He was usually out for a lot of time… until one day, he was gone,” you whispered the last part, your eyes starting to well up with tears.

You felt a thumb stroking your cheek to wipe the few tears that dared to fall, you looked up and saw Dean a few inches from you, smiling at you.

“Hey,” he said, his forefinger lifting up your chin to look at him “You do not need to talk about it anymore okay?”

“No it’s okay Dean, I needed to open up anyway...” you told him, grabbing a napkin to dry your tears and trying not to ruin your make-up.

“My dad taught me how to hunt… he died a lot of years ago, so Sammy and I decided to uh-kind of replace his job and hunt as the old times” he told you, eyes locked on the ground.

“What was your father’s name?” you asked suddenly, maybe your dad and his knew each other.

“John” he stated. “What was yours?”

“Christian… Christian Y/L/N”

Realization hit Dean, he heard that name, maybe Bobby knew that man but if he remembered this, it meant that your father was involved in the same shit as he was.

“I-I think our dads knew each other” he stuttered, not believing that could be possible.

“Yeah? I don’t know… I barely spoke to my dad, he was a man of few words,” you said. “Anyway let’s change topic, shall we?” you asked, squeezing his hand.

“Sure” he smiled. “Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked jokingly.

“Of course I have” you affirmed seriously, wanting to scare Dean.

“W-what? Really?” he had a sad face and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Of course not, dumbass” you laughed, throwing your head back.

“You scared the hell out of me, y’know?” he asked you, laughing.

“Sorry not sorry” you shrugged.

“But seriously though, do you?”

“I wouldn’t have accepted this date if I did…I had a boyfriend but that’s an old story I don’t wanna talk about… we had too much drama going on” you joked, trying to enlighten the mood.

“Alright, you tell me when you’re ready” he winked.

“Next question?” you asked, changing the topic.

“That’s your turn,” he stated.

“Wasn’t I supposed to be the one answering tonight?” you crossed your arms on your chest.

“Well… guess I changed my mind,” he said shrugging.

“Okay then… tell me, what a Winchester does to make a woman fall for him?” you smirked, crossing your legs and closing the distance between the both of you.

“Mmmh we’re getting dirty here” he smirked too.

“You said so,” you looked at him from the corner of your eye, sipping from your glass of wine.

“First of all, I make sure she’s interested” he started to explain “Eye contact is fundamental”

“Yeah? Then what happens?” you asked, still in the same position, showing your cleavage a little bit more this time, the alcohol was starting to have a great effect on you.

“Then I buy hear a drink, see what happens, and if she turns to me and smile, she’s mine and nobody’ll have a chance on her” he licked his lips.

“Possessive” you looked at his lips, taking your glass again.

“You bet I am” he took the glass from your hand, filled it with other wine and then filled his, gulping down the alcohol. “After that, I approach her, and start to have some physical contact with her”

“Give me an example of that,” you whispered, rubbing your legs together.

He moved to sit with his chair beside yours, his eyes locked with yours, his hand making his way up your thigh, caressing it gently and then squeezing it.

“This is what I do, for starters,” he explained, his hand now moving in the inside of your thigh, his touch making you shiver. “After that, I watch her reaction, if she likes it, I keep going. But if she doesn’t, I stop right there”.

“Such a gentleman, huh?” you replied, looking at his hand.

“Yeah, well… I wouldn’t call that gentleness, I just respect the girl I am with. Don’t wanna force her into something she’s not comfortable with, y’know?”

“Y-yeah I uh, get it” you stuttered when his hand was close to your core, you could swear you felt yourself blushing, and that’s what made Dean think he was moving too fast.

Dean gently removed his hand from your thigh, you felt coldness on that spot, it’s like you missed the feeling of his hand on your thigh, but you didn’t complain.

You both didn’t speak for a while, the awkwardness from the “hot moment” now embarrassing you.

It’s not like you didn’t enjoy it, it’s just that, it felt weird… not really weird but it’s because you haven’t had any kind of physical contact since your ex- douchebag- boyfriend, the only thought making you flinch.

Damn it, stupid guy, he even ruined your date and got you look weak in front of Dean.

Dean noticed the way you were staring a spot, for a long time, for the second time that night, you were gonna cry, so he decided to speak and break the tension.

“Y/N? Hey, look at me, what’s wrong?” Dean asked, worried, he was starting to think it was his fault, maybe he shouldn’t have touched your thigh that way, maybe it was too early.

Maybe.

“It’s-it’s nothing, really…,” you answered, a tear scrolling down your face.

“If it was nothing, than why are you crying?” he questioned again, wiping a tear with his thumb.

“I-… it’s about my ex-boyfriend… I cannot erase the bad memories and years I shared with him, it was like hell, and… It was like I couldn’t get “rid” of him and just thinking about hanging out with you, or guys in general, reminds me of the past… I’m so sorry Dean,”

He shook his head, a sympathetic smile on his face; he took your hand, both of them, and squeezed them, trying to reassure you that it was fine.

“It’s okay, I just thought it was my fault, that’s it…,” he said, “I think I should take you home now, you might need some time alone”

“Thanks Dean, I appreciate it, really” you smiled.

Dean paid the bill and then drove you home.

Arriving home, Dean walked you to the front door of your house, making sure everything was okay.

“Sweetheart, you feelin’ better?”

“Kind of” you answered sincerely “but it’ll pass, it always happens” you replied shrugging. “I’m sorry if I fucked this up”

“No need to apologize, I’m not angry, besides… we have another date” he winked.

“You’re right,” you said chuckling.

“So… goodnight Y/N”

Dean was almost going away, but you took his wrist, approached him slowly, tiptoed and kissed him.

Your hands on his chest, his on your waist, caressing your back.

After a few minutes, he gave you a last peck on the lips and then smiled at you.

“G’night… awesome kisser by the way” he mumbled the last part.

“Good night, handsome.” You giggled, and winked.

Despite the awful memories, you enjoyed your date with Dean… maybe next time, things will get steamier, who knows.

Tagging: @dreamingintheimpalawithdean, @extreme-damaged-girl and @fairytailrocker ‘cause I like your blog hahaha

#dean x reader #series #naughty man series #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #smut

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